remember at your peril / forget the ones you can
Posca marker on image cut from a vintage National Geographic magazine, lyrics from Clean Slate by The Mountain Goats
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It's never light outside yet when they climb into the van
Remember at your peril, forget the ones you can
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I think this may be a combo of the culture of American individualism + media glorification of dropping everything and starting over (think Wild or any movie/TV show that involves runaways), but I'm seeing a lot of people my age and younger abandoning their communities for no reason?
And that's not to say there can't be a good reason to do that; If the place you grew up in was awful and so were the people, by all means, get the hell out of there and find yourself a real home. No one is obligated to hang around for racist / sexist / homophobic / otherwise heinous bullshit from their hometown for the sake of "preserving community."
But I've recently found out that it's very common for college students to go through their social media upon graduation from high school and just unfollow everyone but like a few close friends? And then they repeat the process upon graduation from college, etc. There's nothing inherently wrong about that, and I get the principle of "keeping your circle small," but that is also very odd to me considering I have people I haven't spoken to in-person since middle school on my social media accounts because I don't really unfollow people unless they're super annoying. I think I've blocked more people than I've unfollowed just because getting kicked off my social media is usually inspired by an actual conflict, not just "oh I don't consider you a super close friend."
And like I said, there's nothing inherently wrong about this approach, and everyone obviously has the right to control how they run their lives/social media accounts, but these same people who just like randomly cut everyone off because they want to start over in some way also seem to experience a real lack of belonging later, and they don't seem to make the connection.
Sometimes I think the motivation for this is even straight up misguided? Like I had one friend who insisted on cutting off everyone he knew prior to college except me on the grounds that he was too immature as a teenager, he upset too many people, and basically he needed a clean slate where he could start over with new people. Like bro you don't need to start over with a clean slate, you need to apologize to people??? You need to make right on the things you did? You're not "starting over," you're running from accountability because it's easier than showing people you've grown as a person. And then he ended up spiralling into a deep depression and only had me to talk to because he destroyed all the other bridges in his life in the name of "starting over."
For me I really do try to get involved and know people wherever I live, and I don't let those connections go without a specific reason because I don't see any harm in hanging onto acquaintances and just passively keeping up with groups of people I used to know. I stay active enough on social media with the people in my hometown, the people I studied abroad with, people from my old college clubs, etc. that when I do go back to visit those places, I still have a community. I can go back to anywhere I used to live, and know I have people there, and that's not only immensely comforting to me, it's also a form of networking that helps me stay plugged into local issues and connected with people who have both common interests with me and unique perspectives.
This trend has kind of started to bother me just because I've noticed that young people seem to buy into the over-romanticism of "cutting people off" as the ultimate solution to a better life just to feel a void from a lack of community, and I think that's both a detriment to activism, which relies on people coming together for common goals, and people's overall mental health because it's hard to rebuild those connections if you threw them all out only to find it didn't make you happier.
Starting over and community-building aren't mutually exclusive because you can certainly leave a community that isn't right for you and then build a new one somewhere else, but I think it's worth considering that giving up connections to other people for no specific reason might not be the best strategy for a happy life or a better society.
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*just learned how to forget* i sure hope there's nothing that hasn't risen to the surface yet!
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Clean Slate
"Let's clean our slates and make a fresh start"
A term that I think fits today at new year quite well. But where does this term come from?
In days of sail the courses and distances made good during each watch were temporarily recorded on a slate.
Slate decorated with the Clipper "City of Mobile" owened by Captain William Spafford Brown (b.1830 ?-) , 19th century (x)
After transferring the information into the ship's log, the slate was wiped clean prior to the next watch. Colloquial use of this expression ashore means to forget past events and start from "scratch".
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ABOUT ME // BLACKWOLFSTABS
world likes to rear back and throw a few stones,
so girl wants to throw a few stones of her own.
but Lord knows i ain't perfect, and it ain't my place.
and i don't think Jesus done it that way.
are y'all sure that Jesus done it that way?
- morgan wallen (parker's version)
parker || she/her || 18+ GIFs are not mine
writer
sam carpenter enthusiast
lone wolves, some gore, and champagne problems
where you can find me
AO3 // ParkJewel
DISCORD // @ bitchsister
disclaimers (what i write may consist of:)
18+
gore/violence
abuse (domestic, sexual, physical, child, etc.)
rape/non-con (this is not often AT ALL!)
drinking/alcoholism (not often)
drug-use (not often)
trauma (physical, mental, emotional, etc)
self-harm
mental illness
illness (general)
this is NOT all i write about, just to be clear - i write much more friendly stuff too!
I PUT WARNINGS ON WORKS THAT CONTAINS TRIGGERING ELEMENTS!!! that said, please read at your own risk, if you choose to do so.
furthermore: it is important to note that i DO NOT write things that are meaningless. everything i write has a purpose in some way. i often write from personal experience, venting, experiences i witness, music, and other things that are personal to me. my perspective may differ from yours. i may see certain things in a different light or way, but that doesn't mean that i write with the intention to target or offend anyone. i have learned to be very mindful of this and i intend to do so, going forward. i understand that we are all different and there simply are boundaries that should not be crossed.
i do not write about things that i haven't looked into or researched before. if i write something that strikes you in a negative way, please, please don't continue to read. my warnings are there for a reason, and the last thing i want is to cause anyone any mental or emotional anguish.
my AUs
SCREAM
ALL MY HEART: post-Scream VI // life in New York with the Core Four + more
THE WAY I AM: behind the screams // my take on the Carpenter Sisters' past
SAME AS IT NEVER WAS: what if? // canon-divergent works
NINE LIVES: legends never die // dead characters have been resurrected
COMING SOON:
FEARLESS: lovers in another life // Fem!Reader X Sam Carpenter (@houdinicarpenter)
SHE'S SOMEBODY'S DAUGHTER: "she's a daddy's girl" // Team Loomis reimagined
LADY AND THE TRAMP: Reedpenter // Kirby Reed X Sam Carpenter for the lovely @//alkivm & @//bowergirlwitch (@houdinicarpenter)
»»---------► masterlist ❤️
requests
i no longer take requests, however i am open to ideas and suggestions! feel free to drop anything you might like me to write in my inbox or DM me - if i get around to it or run out of ideas, maybe i'll give it a shot!
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