#Chemistry here we go...

[hephaestn]

It’s been a long time since Steve left Hawkins behind, since he left the summer of 1985 tightly locked in a corner of his mind.

He was happy in New York City, loved his apartment with Robin, loved the friends he had made here, breathed and exhaled warmth for this city which had so caringly taken him in. But, he felt hollow some days, especially the days where that lock would loosen and the memories would come back.

They were happy memories, for the most part. He cherished those ones, the ones which still made him smile to himself in the middle of the street. Though, when the bad ones hit, it was still unbearable.

He couldn’t think of Billy, of the way he could still remember the taste of his lips, the shape of his waist underneath his hand. He couldn’t think of how Billy left him one night with only a note to remember him by.

I had to. I’m sorry.

Those five words were still imprinted in Steve’s mind, forever echoing even after being torn apart and thrown into the trash that very morning.

Steve doesn’t really know why today his thoughts have traveled back in time to sunny days and endless love making nights. He needs a distraction, whichever it might be.

That’s why he accepts to join Robin and her coworkers for dinner. They’ve chosen a tiny place which had just recently opened in Greenwich Village. It’s cozy; wooden furniture and fairy lights, black leather chairs and artsy painted walls. Steve likes it, feels calm in it.

All of Robin’s coworkers are nice, they keep up the conversation, always making sure Steve feels included, which he greatly appreciates. Dinner is incredible, probably one of the most tasteful meals he’s had in… years.

As a starter the waiter brings out an assortment of bruchette, each one topped by ingredients from all the parts of the world; Italy, Greece, Mexico, Thailand, Morocco. Steve can’t help but lick his fingers after each bite.

Main course is hearty; a fresh sea urchin pasta. It tastes like the sea, like the infinite summers he’d spend as a child in Positano with his parents.

They get asked if they’d like a second course which everyone at the table is quick to deny since they’re all full and ready to leave some room for dessert. The waiter tells them the last course and liquors will be presented to them by the chef which lifts whispers of curiosity amongst them all.

Steve is enjoying himself, laughing with Robin as she goes into extreme detail about her last failed date night. The thoughts have gone away, he’s free of them again, for a while at least. Until he sees him—white chef jacket, tight around his arms, his hair is tightly pulled back, leaving his face to shine under the warm light of the restaurant.

Steve’s vision goes blurry for a second, disconcerted by the shock, by the confusion of if this is really happening or not.

“Robin,” Billy says, and there’s a long pause. “Steve.”

He can feel Robin’s eyes on him, Billy’s eyes on him, but he can’t look at either of them, instead he buries his face in the glass of wine in front of him. The world seems to be crumbling around him, every person becoming faceless, every light in the room becoming distorted. His heart is pounding incessantly, looking for a way out of his chest.

Steve doesn’t really know how or why he does it but he looks up and meets Billy’s gaze. And, there’s something in his eyes, a mix of sorrow and longing Steve wasn’t prepared to face.

“So, uh.” Billy clears his throat. “Here we have, the Sailing Lovers. Eclair filled with a rose and elderberry crème pat with a glaze of Madagascar vanilla bean, accompanied by an Amaretto liqueur.”

Steve is entranced as Billy explains dessert, too in his own mind to notice the glisten in Billy’s eyes as he makes his way back into the kitchen.

#harringrove #steve x billy #billy x steve #billy hargrove #ch: billy hargrove #ch: steve harrington #misc: ficlet #lu tries to write #idk between the bear and lessons in chemistry i can’t stop thinking about food as a medium for love #so here we go LDKFKFK #i haven’t proofread it #i’m winging it once again

[notalostcausejustyet]

I’ve screamed on here before about how @voluptatiscausa writes fic that will alter your brain chemistry. The most recent one is this.

Come for the absolutely top-tier smut. Like, GLORIOUS smut. Stay for the unexpected blistering insight into religion and the soul-searing catharsis of dealing with religious trauma. His imagery is poetic, and evocative. His prose is thought provoking and has a depth of feeling that is absolutely on par with, if not superior to, every bestseller I’d ever read.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfic as therapy #good omens fic rec #fics that changed my brain chemistry #I don’t often read things that make me feel like I got throat punched (in a good way) in the psyche #but when I do it’s go big or go home #friends we are gathered here today to lay to rest the ridiculous expectations others had of us #michael sheen #david tennat

[vermillioncrown]

my heart might give out from stress

i don't want my drafts to remain in purgatory if that happens

here's a snippet from the blowjob brothers

happy vday or whatever

hlwi snippet: timkorv ceo and pa roleplay

tldr what you get when you have two overthinking maskers that are dating

(mature, allusions to exhibitionism)

Korvin is supposed to shadow Tim today as his PA. At the same time, he can stealthily join in discussions on some Wayne Enterprises & Subsidiaries’ projects for the next fiscal year. It’s dubious as hell, managerially incestuous, and not at all billable to any of the workbooks. Technically, Korvin is “Out of Office.”

Tam gives them a Look, Lucius gives them a bigger Look, and they both separately say, “Keep it out of Meeting Room 5B.”

“Pardon?” Korvin plays the wide-eyed mangénue well—first PA job fresh out of his management degree, definitely-of-course-not hired for his credentials nor family connections.

“Director Kwan-Wayne.” Lucius removes his glasses to polish them and says in a mild tone, “That 3 AM with M-Systems could have your name on it for the rest of your tenure. Clear?”

Korvin drops character for a brief moment of honesty. “Crystal, Chief Fox; keeping it contained.”

They get left alone late morning in Tim's office. Tam pointedly does not look in their direction and pushes the controls to shut the blinds.

That’s not Tim’s concern right now.

Right now, his only concern is coaxing the young and nervous PA to come play with him. Cute face, DSL, firm ass, and positively stacked—Tim has to have him under his hands as soon as possible. “I don’t have super hearing, Mr. Kwan. You’re going to have to come closer to my desk.”

His PA walks to the front of the desk, posture stiff and straight like he’s about to crumple with nerves given any leeway. He doesn’t look Tim in the eye; instead, he leans over the desk and clumsily holds the tablet out to show the agenda for the day.

“Mr. Drake, I have the brief for 11 AM printed—if I could go retrieve—”

“Mr. Kwan, no need for that; just brief me like this.”

“L-Like this?” Poor thing is flustered and baffled. Tim supposes he needs a bit of clear direction to help him along.

“Oral report,” he clarifies. And Tim can’t help it when the back of his pen traces against the younger man’s jaw. The metal tip goes up to the corner of his lips, tapping that tempting beauty mark right at the edge. All of it would look amazing wrapped around his cock. The heat would fog up those cute glasses, and if Tim gets careless with his aim? A little mess on those unruly curls wouldn’t be out of place. “Nervous when you speak, Mr. Kwan?”

“I-I,” his PA swallows, the motion framed by the turtleneck under his suit. The suit itself is nicely fitted, if a little juvenile in the fabric weight and cut; obviously a gift from someone with more means. The turtleneck pairing is tasteful, but a choice—hiding love bites? With the gift suit and his looks, maybe this type of “PA work” isn’t outside of the younger man’s experience. “I’m trying to work on. Uh. That, M-Mr. Drake.”

“Luckily for you, I have plenty of advice to offer,” Tim offers with a smile. “We have half an hour—why don’t you come around and I do that while we discuss the brief?”

His PA gives a bashful glance at the wall clock, though still frozen in his vulnerable pose and in Tim's hand.

“Don’t be shy,” Tim whispers, letting the back of his fingernails graze along the younger man’s cheek. Dark eyes follow the path his hand takes, trace it back to Tim himself. When it’s obvious that the other is fighting back a timid but interested bite on his bottom lip, Tim lets his gaze fall to “bedroom eyes” and cocks his head to beckon his new playmate over.

Their roleplay quickly falls apart after that, though because neither Tim nor Korvin can stand being Not Correct. The derailment happens at the intended coy exchange of, “‘Oh, what if we get caught?’ ‘Guess you’ll have to be quiet, sweetheart,’” and then—

“What? No, now I’m actually concerned. You’re the loud one,” is refuted with, “no, that’s you with the actual anechoic sex room.”

“It’s not a—whatever! I literally had to install a trained bypass filter on the hall cams because of you!”

Never mind the unhinged meticulousness in finding the right sounds to train said filter on— “And you got caught, so fine, we’re both loud but I’m stealthier! ...and you’re louder.”

“We have the technology to be, y’know, objective. You just don’t want to be wrong.”

“I don’t want to dignify this argument with actual data.”

“Yeah, that’s how I know you’re actually louder,” Korvin rolls his eyes, even as he continues to contort himself under Tim’s desk. “This front drawer’s in the way.”

Tim pushes his chair back and bends to look at the bottom of the drawer. “I think if you kneel further back, but then—”

“—yeah, I'd have to lean forward.”

“Oh…but that's a better angle for your throat, though.”

Korvin nods thoughtfully. “You'd have to keep me from falling too forward or chance someone seeing my hands stick out,” he muses.

“I'll keep my ankles crossed back in. Brace against that,” Tim suggests, and at Korvin's nonchalant thumbs up, he rolls back in front of his desk.

#on hlwi #phd-verse #verm bits #christ alive yesterday it was ''we're so back'' #today ''it's so over'' #*made it pink bc i'm losing control and need to exert it wherever idk #fun note: this is either the first or second hlwi scene written #bc it's one thing to say ''haha wouldn't it be funny if a and b got together?'' #but they can't actually have fun or don't have chemistry #so the snippet was a proving ground that the development of tpac wasn't crazy #it may or may not make it into the final cut so here we go #extra extra 2024 roz and i agreed to do whatever we want and not shy from sharing stuff out of some ~artistic vision~ or whatever #like there are things to withhold if mystery and suspense are key #but otherwise don't care #hm i say it's a proving ground a lot #but each snippet is dealing with a different brain worm

[ctl-yuejie]

these moments™️ in the Only Friends Trailer

#ofts #only friends #only friends the series #neo trai #force jiratchapong #book kasidet #khaotung thanawat #first kanaphan #mark pakin #okay - putting this in the tags because it is going to be rambly #(1) force's fuckboy smirk? yes. nailed it. #(2) neo absolutely giving me self-righteous hurt and livid at the same time? so happy we get to see him ACT #(3) khaotung and first just have incredible chemistry and since the kiss at the bar in the teaser i have been waiting for this - they are s #in tune and comfortable with each other that it translates to such tender intimacy and i cannot wait to get that paired with all the cruel #hings they will hurl at each other #(4) just neo giving it his all. he always has a good presence in shows but he really dominates here and while i don't know what is happenin #i like the energy he is bringing to this trailer. this is the guy who suggested kissing to force to see whether they would fit in the show #(5) neo and mark getting to play off each other: just the disbelief in mark's face - the shot feels so tender and raw. paired with neo #as boston looking like he also cannot believe what he is doing but with a determination of someone who thinks he can only be right and that #there is no turning back for him #(6) sadly gmmtv logo got in the way of the shot in the beginning of them in the car but i adore first's dimply smile and khaotung softly #looking at him with the kind of mischief in his eyes that says 'yeah #- i'm keeping him' #(7) iconic already but yeeting neo into the pool is fantastic and even better that book gets to do it #(8) love that this snippet of the pool side captures the seriousness alongside the pathetic-ness that seems to run through everyones relati #nships #and they are giving me mark pakin crying in a bear hug?? and khaotung also crying in a hug?

[spoondoodles]

Do you see my vision yet?

#spoondoodles #sanders sides #sanders sides fanart #ts sides #tss #logan sanders #roman sanders #logince #going insane!!! over them!!!!!! #the logince agenda has not ceased yet #tho admittedly this is still pretty platonic they're not aware of the pining yet (virgil is tho god help him) #cleaned up some more sketches of Them for funsies and here we are #this is a completely unserious HS AU like i don't have a plot or anything it's just vibes #and the vibes are them being cute and besties and also insulting each other (affectionate) #patton is just glad his friend logan has another person he's close to #virgil is Suffering from the mutual pre-pining and just wants them to get their act together (preferably away from him) #remus is the only one having a good time b/c he thrives in chaos and enjoys getting to tease his chemistry partner and his twin brother #no janus :( sorry couldn't fit him in yet #i have become fond of mociet recently tho so we'll see maybe he's roman's friend who does NOT want to get involved in these shenanigans #anyway sorry for tag ramble AGAIN i just have Thoughts

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes #and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on #ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done #and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well #im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them #and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right #its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried #i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway #im just. this is gonna b a difficult week #and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend #nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia? #how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru #but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep #ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway #and meet with my advisor like 🤪 yo guess what i made zero progress this week #sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems #but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed #unrelated

[steelycunt]

ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs

hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx

having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.

overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.

and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.

#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular #opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these #tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now #because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!! #like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear. #okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care #about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a #person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested #in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon? #why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that #guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which #james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just #do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured #in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like #idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for. #god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx #also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their #super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were #not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good #and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff #they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely. #anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx #anon #telegram #scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl. #girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me

[karmaphone]

I can see some of y'all are deep in the colonial romance fantasies re silna 😒😒😒

#terrorposting #the thing about goodsir/silna is that it's good because it didn't happen #she doesn't love him like that. he's the man who (symbolically) killed her father he's her jailer he's the information leech worming #it's way into her vocabulary #he loves her like that of course. how could he not with the tales of native romances he's been spoon-fed. and she knows that he doesn't see #her as a Whole Unique Person. she's the arctic to him. she's the unyielding ice and wind that cuts at your skin and the beast haunting them #they're not made for each other it's not 'anything could've happened' - it's good because it didn't #there was clearly a draw and a connection there - but this show is EXCELLENT at illustrating how fuzzy the borderline between chemistry and #what people are truly capable of at their worst #can be #it's 'for all the love that could have been if we were both different. if the world was different. if we weren't here (but if we weren't #here we never could be)' #it's you are clearly bad for me but I cannot tear myself away #it's you bring me comfort but I wish you weren't here (I wish we both weren't here) #it's we're going through this awful thing together. despite it all despite what either of us wants we're in this together #it's not some fuckign. uwu THIS white man will treat her good. how can you say that after a single second of considering the sexualization #of native women #they're fascinating because of the situation not because it's some 'better' romance #some of y'all suck the nuance right outta things like a juice box I swear to GOD

[doyeons]

i looove how there’s some of this stuff i’m studying tht’s clicking with me and i’m looking forward to learning it and i love how i’m excited to learn more and move up to more complex subjects and i love looking forward to the social aspect of working in a science field and doing research w/ others. peace and love on planet earth

#bella.txt #i never felt like this during my first round of school ok!!!! #i get to go dig for nematodes on monday. i don’t even care abt nematodes but im like. we r doing smth practical!!!! #when i think abt getting to do hands-on approaches with marine bio studies i get so excited i feel sick like i think i’ve found my thing #i was so scared it was just gna be game design school all over but no trust me i never felt this way at all before!!! i think this is a #good sign!!!! #idk where i’ll even specifically go from here but i’m like ^_^ having a good time #except for the chemistry shit but i know i don’t want to do that #AND i heard the one i’m in is a weed-out class so i feel a little better abt my agony over it

[absensia]

if you've never seen or haven't gotten used to the way char assembles tools, devices, explosives, and chemical solutions while in the field, then it may be a scary and worrisome sight. there will be open flames, the use of wrong and/or unwieldy tools bc that's all she has on hand, makeshift personal protective equipment (sometimes), no timer save for the one in her head and her watch which may or may not be running slow or fast, she's eyeballing all the measurements, most of her knowledge seems to be a mash-up of slightly outdated encyclopedic info and lessons learnt from previous failures, and everything seems to held together by rust, old tape, and a prayer. but i promise that more often than not, things will turn out okay.

#char will see a couch and be like is anyone going to disembowel that and take all its springs to be made into a makeshift weapon? #and not wait for an answer #she's gotten used to using the typically available blades in a swiss army knife for most tasks even if isn't the best tool #she'll make it work #and char IS well studied in the basics of mechanical engineering utilities and applicable chemistry she just doesn't SEEM like it #yea i am living for charlotte “RESOURCEFUL ALBEIT A LITTLE RECKLESSLY SO” olesen <3 #she's out here yanking electrical wires out of walls carrying diy ied kits in her coat pockets stealing car parts and saying shit like #“i think we should just light it on fire. i think we should just break it down. i'll just make whatever we need it's fine”

[mcl-mia]

//zeus week day 6 - offering

to offer one's body and soul - is that not the highest form of loyalty?

#not mcl #mia draws #zeus week 2023 #hello. :) totally normal art piece going on here. #you THOUGHT that this would be a normal 'oh hehe offering him a gift or a kiss!' NO. NOT HERE. #there has to be angst SOMEWHERE and tbh this is the best way i could put it in :) #also i got new glasses today so my eyes are Adjusting(tm) so euhfkjhkdjhf trying to not draw completely out of my own style #but sometimes you have to break style for facial expressions #idk i like this one a lot. i think i cooked real fucking hard on the past three specifically. #yeah fuck it i'm gonna put this in #zeusro #because i can. why the fuck not. as a treat for me to come back to. #hhhhehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehheehehehehehe #hiro's route permanently altered my brain chemistry and i'll never forgive solmare for that. like HELLO? #can we talk about how hiro. going up to this point in his route was like 'pshhh this will be easy i'm not afraid of anything' #and then zeus gets put in a fucking coma because he protects him. #which IMPLIES THAT HIRO'S BIGGEST FEAR IS LOSING ZEUS. HELLO. #i'm so mad they never gave us that poly ending. the world would heal if they did. #wizardess heart #tumblr put my art in the tags challenge

[antikate]

How do I block the Din Bo shippers already

#y’all out here like a man and a woman ah yes they must be together #Jack black had more chemistry with his own beard #but what about dinluke shippers those two hardly made eye contact #yeah well it was a fucking honest ship based on nothing #and I personally didn’t ship it because as we all know Luke is ace #but Din and Bo is just an insult to all I hold dear #yes I am going through some things why do you ask

[da-proti-toku-grem]

.

#i'm seriously starting to considering quiting uni and i've not even been here for 2 month yet #seriously why am i like this #i'm literally on the verge of tears rn and trying not to have an anxiety attack #and just because my chemistry teacher told us that we have to do some shit for a presentation in december #just thinking about all the stuff i have to do for december makes me want to cry #and 90% of it is the week after my concert #and i already feel like shit because i'm going to a f*cking concert instead of studying #also i don't like almost anything we're doing up to this point #and i keep telling myself that maybe it's because it's the first year and we are doing more 'basic' things #so maybe i'll like more stuff in the next years #but it seems more unlikely everyday #and i can't stop thinking that maybe i chose the wrong career #i know that's not the end of the world but i can't help but think that i've been wasting my time #and that i had such a bad time last year just to be able to get into this career only to not like it now that i'm in #also idk what i would do if i actually quit because this was honestly the only thing i thought i might like #it's just so frustrating and idk what to do #so i'm here writing this rant in the middle of class trying not to cry in front of 60 people #and feeling even worse because i'm not paying enough attention #istg i think that the only thing keeping me sane rn is this fandom #i'm very grateful for all of you who put up with me every day :( #venting #maca speaks