tokumusume’s list of best and worst movies and dramas watched in 2019:
There’s a new category this year. Inspired by kpopalypse, welcome the Honorable Mentions! Movies that weren’t exactly bad but also weren’t good. Movies and dramas are qualified to enter if I watched them for the first time this year, not that they were released this year. Click on ‘keep reading’~~
Best Movies:
1. Parasite
Another masterpiece from the director of Snowpiercer (let’s pretend Okja never existed). A poor family con their way to a rich household. Choi Woo-Shik from The Witch (see below) is the eldest son and mastermind, fabulous as always. Definitely the best movie of this year. For me, movie of the decade.
2. The Witch Part 1 The Subversion
This movie is amazing, hard to describe without spoilers. A perfect mix of Stranger Things and Hanna. Choi Woo-Shik can come to my house and kick my ass anytime. I can’t wait for part two.
3. Death Trance
Visually stunning, kinda like Amemiya Keita’s style in early Garo or Mad Max. I wish the movie was longer and the characters were better fleshed out, Ryuen the monk and the little girl had so much potential... The most interesting thing about this movie is how sexualized the main male character is compared to the female ones, and apparently, the swords were designed to look like veiny penises (can’t find a source for this info), and yes, they do look like veiny penises. The final showdown is heavy with sexual energy. Have I already said that Ryuen deserved better? #RyuenRights
4. Gintama 2: Rules are made to be broken
The barber shop scene is a fucking cinematic masterpiece. I never laughed so much like I did with this movie. The way it doesn’t take itself seriously, the meta jokes, everything is perfect. Even better than the first one.
5. Kingdom
While I think that some fight scenes were way too long (like the bamboo forest one), the dynamics between Shin and Hyou/Eisei were highly entertaining, at least in my shipper eyes. I like that (SPOILER) the King of the Mountain People is a woman and not once they try to call her Queen. She is a King. Hashimoto Kanna is adorable as a Ten, Kanata Hongo does a great job as Eisei’s psycho brother, Sakaguchi Tak waves his sword around, the usual stuff but with added layers of dirt and sweat.
6. Bravestorm
A movie I lovingly call “Japanese Pacific Rim”. Full of Kamen Rider stars (Hino Eiji! Misuzawa Haruka! That girl from Heisei Generations, the one with a sword! She has a sword in this as well!) and giant robots (god, I love giant robots!), I waited so much for this movie and it exceeded my expectations. I just wish I could’ve watched in theaters, it had a limited showing in my country.
7. Twelve Suicidal Children
What begins as a murder mystery ends with a twist you won’t see coming. All of the actors are amazing, but special mention to Sugisaki Hana and that guy from that one boy group I forgot the name but can’t be bothered to Google.
8. Gakkou Gurashi
Four girls and their teacher try to survive the zombie apocalypse trapped inside the school. This one destroyed me for days.
9. Forest of Love
I’ve watched some Sono Sion movies but nothing prepared me for this. Be aware of extremely gory sequences and sensitive topics. Hinami Kyoko is so amazing as blue-haired, punk girl crush Taeko that I totally didn’t notice she was AkibaBlue in Akibaranger.
10. The Host
After watching Parasite I decided to go on a Bong Joon Ho binge and watched this horror movie. Not as good as Snowpiercer and Parasite in my opinion but heart-wrenching nevertheless. The little girl is the star of the movie.
11. The Hungry Lion
A story about the dangers of social media and slut-shaming. I want to punch Mizuishi Atom in the face.
12. Cromartie High
A little absurd comedy about yakuza-style high school boys (played by middle-aged men lol) forming a club to battle aliens summoned by themselves just because. It made me laugh like a child. A hidden gem.
Honorable Mentions:
1. River’s Edge
Depressing as fuck. Warning: the cats die. It’s not graphic but it’s traumatizing. Yoshizawa Ryo is a gay boy who sleeps with old men for money. There’s a graphic sex scene (not Yoshizawa, sadly) where my only thought was “That thing is gonna get stuck in there! Use a condom!” Can’t remember much from it except for these three scenes.
2. The Disastrous Life of Saiki K
Yamazaki Kento has the acting chops of a dead fish but it comes handy for playing a teen with psychic abilities and zero social skills. Hashimoto Kanna is one of the prettiest girls in Japan. Yoshizawa Ryo with white and blueish hair looks more like Sakata Gintoki than Oguri Shun in the Gintama live action. The end is a huge let down but the fun ride is worth it.
3. Ano ko no, Toriko
Congratulations to Yoshizawa Ryo, he has FIVE movies in my list of favorite movies this year! This is to make up for crowning GIVER as the biggest waste of time of 2018, this list is totally not biased, lol. “Ano ko” could be just another romance movie but the (very) little insight into how the entertainment industry works and not focusing on school life made me love it. Poor Sugino Yosuke being left behind again, when will this boy get the main girl?
4. Monstrum
It doesn’t reinvent the wheel but it’s pleasant enough to fill a rainy afternoon with a lot of blood and spilled guts. Hyeri of Girl’s Day is the heroine and Choi Woo Shik is the commander she falls in love with.
5. Weirdo Go
I confess I watched this one just to see Ji Li (aka my snake son Nie Huaisang) dressed as a woman but it was enjoyable and not that problematic.
6. Real - Kanzen Naru Kubinagaryu no Hi
Directed by the same guy that did “Creepy” and “Before we vanish”, there are lots of twists you won’t see coming. And a dinosaur. A fucking dinosaur.
7. Tomodachi Game: The Final
The movie loses its focus halfway through then picks up again minutes before ending. Yoshizawa Ryo delivers again as the sadistic Yuuichi, much like his role in Gintama. The plot twists are the star of the movie.
8. The Living Dead
Sorry Wen Ning. I saw the plot twist coming in the first 30 minutes of the movie, not very smart of the writer. His personality did a 180° turn for worse and I’ll demote the movie to an honorable mention for it. Gao Han is cute though, I would like to see him as a better character.
9. Backstreet Girls
Some recycled scenes from the drama to situate the viewers, a completely new story for the movie, it is certainly funny and enjoyable, if you can get past the forced gender reassignment surgery background and transphobic jokes (you shouldn’t get past it btw). I like the soundtrack.
Best Dramas:
1. The Untamed
Do I need to say more?
2. The Tale of Nokdu
This Korean romance had everything to be a mess but it wasn’t!!! *claps* I don’t hate the main female character and the whole palace politics actually kept me interested until the end. The complete shift of atmosphere mid-season was strange at first but ultimately very welcomed.
3. The Naked Director
Netflix original Japanese content is amazing. This one is a look at the life of a legendary porn director in the late 80s, I learned a lot about the history of Japanese porn and censorship (yay pixels!) and went looking for his, erm, works. Very graphic, 69/10 don’t recommend watching with people in the house.
4. Channel wa Sonomama!
I don’t remember it well but it’s about a news station and what is like to be a journalist and it was very interesting and funny.
5. SCAMS
Forgettable. Sugino Yosuke with black hair cons old people via phone calls.
Worst Movies and Dramas:
1. The cat in their arms
The cats spend 90% of the movie in human forms, and halfway through it they simply abandon the cats’ plot to show a fucking long montage of a weird guy painting a picture of a nude girl. It’s also super creepy to see a grown-up man acting like a cat, getting belly rubs and eating cat food from a bowl. Yoshizawa needs to choose his roles more wisely.
2. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun
A waste of Suda Masaki’s talent. Can Japan stop casting Tsuchiya Tao already?
3. Samurai Marathon
Almost two hours of dirty men running through a forest. Maybe Japanese History experts will enjoy it, because I certainly didn’t.
4. Lady Vengeance
While there are legit great moments, I didn’t find this “classic” to be anything special. The animal cruelty was too much for me.
5. Hot Gimmick
This movie makes Bohemian Rhapsody’s editing look like a work of art. There are more flashing cuts than a T-ARA music video. I have no idea who likes who, who’s banging who, what even are they saying. Too much poetic shit for my like. I wanted to see Shimizu Hiroya naked. I was bamboozled.
6. The Divine Fury
While some parts were interesting, at the end I still don’t know if the protagonist is possessed by a demon (if yes, then why would he help a priest destroy his friends?) or if he was blessed by God when his father died and talked to him (the glowing hand thing, why and how??). The exorcism parts are really, really scary, or maybe I’m just a chicken, but I had to avert my eyes. The best (only) part is that the protagonists are hot. Hello Woo Do-Hwan, you can sacrifice me to Satan any time…
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Phakchi Heaven - 10jinactor
[bracketed is spoken, normal is matsushima, bold is sawaryou]
[uwa~ koko doko? eh~?
うぁ〜 ここどこ? え〜?
phakchi island janai?
パクチーアイランドじゃない?
uso desho!
うそでしょ!
datte kanjinai ka?
だって 感じないか?
nani? kono kaori?
何?この香り?
phakchi king da!!
パクチーキングだー!!]
calorie minimum afureru mineral
カロリー ミニマム あふれる ミネラル
hada tsuya kouka wa maximum
肌つや効果はマキシマム
namashoku kangei niru toki taku toki
生食歓迎 煮るとき 炊くとき
itameru toki no san dan katsuyou
炒めるときの 3段活用
minna hairou phakchi jouyaku
みんな入ろう パクチー条約
nakayoku yarou yo sweets doumei
仲良くやろうよ スイーツ同盟
tomaranai ze yamerarenai ze
止まらないぜ やめられないぜ
natural bone no mega mori mix
ナチュラルボーンの メガ盛り ミックス
[onaka suita yo
おなかすいたよー
phakchi island no hito tte, nani taberun darou?
パクチーアイランドの人って、何食べるんだろう?
eh~ phakchi? deshou na.
え〜 パクチー? でしょうな。]
kankaku shokka de kenkyo ni tabete yo
感覚初期化で 謙虚に食べてよ
senkyo ni ike yo? de kachikan break
選挙に行けよ? で価値観ブレイク
zettai ouja no ma iu~ chou ma iu~
絶対王者の まいう〜 超まいう〜
chouchou ma iu~ no san kai touhyou
超超まいう〜 の3回投票
phakchi zen kakusan zensan kyousan chuu
パクチー戦線拡散絶賛協賛中
demo in store de wa gram tankada
でもインストアーではグラム単価だ
maki maku maku revolution
爆撒き撒く撒く レボリュション
next stage totsunyuu da
ネクストステージ突入だ
ima jinkaku change de “tokihanate”
今人格チェンジで 「解き放て」
ima koso rock kaijo “da TAKE OFF”
今こそ・ロック解除 「da TAKE OFF」
ichioku soukatsu “so BEAUTY”
ー億・総括 「so BEAUTY」
tonae yo jumon “EVERYBODY” sokko ketsudan
唱えよ呪文 「EVERYBODY」ソッコ決断
phakchi morimori rakusakurakura
パクチモリモリ ラクサクラクラ
phakchi morimori rakusakurakura
パクチモリモリ ラクサクラクラ
shigan suru ze! “ikki chuunyuu”
志願するぜっ!「イッキ注入」
phakchi rin da ze! mega mori “banzai”
パクチリンだぜっ! メガ盛り 「万歳」
ai koso subete sa~ OHHH
愛こそすべてさ〜 OHHH
yume koso subete sa~
夢こそすべてさ〜
เสร็จแล้วทำได้แล้ว [sa ret laaeo tham dai laaeo]
「セッレーオ タムダイレーオ」
[onaka ippa~i
おなかいっぱ〜い
phakchi ryouri saikou da ne!
パクチー料理最高だねー!
saa, kaerou!
さあ、帰ろう!
eh? kaeru?
え?帰る?
kaerou yo
帰ろうよ
phakchi ni kakomaretai
パクチーに囲まれたい
ima kakomarete irushi
今囲まれているし
phakchi to issho ni hakara shitai
パクチーと一緒に墓らしたい
muri desho!
無理でしょ!
phakchi king-sama~~
パクチーキング様〜〜
kaerou yo!!
帰ろうよーー!!]
kake ritsu ageta ze ima koso challenge
かけ率あげたぜ 今こそチャレンジ
eri o tadaseyo roushi ni kike yo?
襟を正せよ 老師に聞けよ?
konya mo hazumu ze yabai chou yabai
今夜も はずむぜ ヤバい 超ヤバい
chou chou yabai no san bai zouryou
超超ヤバい の3倍増量
shimin no mikata wa marvellous
市民の味方は マーベラス
ni juu yon jikan kasei de furumaou
24時間稼いでふるまおう
maki gai maki gachi maki teku mansai
爆ガイ・爆ガチ・爆テク満載
shoku mo odoru ze kingdom
臓場も踊るぜ キングダム
channel sonomama nounaikakumei
チャンネルそのまま 脳内革命
”kiwamero” choujou sakusen empire
「極めろ」 頂上作戦 エンパイア
”hanate yo” mippei kuutoi vampire
「放てよ」 密閉空問 バンパイル
”atsumare” LIVING LEGEND ni
「集まれ」LIVING LEGEND に
LIVING DEAD phakchi heaven
LIVING DEAD パクチー・ヘブン
สวัสดี [sa wat dee] sakusaku phakchi pakupaku
サワディサクサク パクチパクパク
สวัสดี [sa wat dee] sarasara phakchi pakupaku
サワディサラサラ パクチパクパク
boujakubujinki no control shikai ryoukou
傍若無人機ノーコントロール 視界良好
”egake” WE ARE shin sekai
「描け」 WE ARE 新世界
ai koso subete sa~ OHHH
愛こそすべてさ〜 OHHH
pappapapapapa phakchi kingdom
パッパパパパパ パクチキングダム
phakchi pakupaku phakchi kingdom
パクチパクパク パクチキングダム
yume koso subete sa~
夢こそすべてさ〜
ไปแล้วกินได้แล้ว [bpai laaeo gin dai laaeo]
「バイレーオ キンダイレーオ」
PARTY TONIGHT
phakchi phakchi phakchi phakchi pakupaku
パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクパク
PARTY TONIGHT
tachi kirou ze ankoku no spiral
断ち切ろうぜ 暗黒のスパイラル
PARTY TONIGHT
phakchi phakchi phakchi phakchi pakupaku
パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクパク
PARTY TONIGHT
kyuukyoku tamashii da imagination
究極魂だ イマジネーシヨン
OH〜〜〜〜
rakusa rakusa rakusa rakusa kurakura
ラクサ・ラクサ・ラクサ・ラクサ・クラクラ
OH〜〜〜〜
phakchi phakchi phakchi phakchi pakupaku
パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクパク
OH〜〜〜〜
LET'S GO PARTY TONIGHT
SAY! YEAH! TONIGHT
phakchi phakchi phakchi phakchi pakupaku
パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクパク
SAY! YEAH! TONIGHT
”YOU” natural warrior!
「YOU」 ナチュラルウォーリアー!
phakchi king
パクチーキング
HEY! WHAT'S UP TONIGHT
phakchi phakchi phakchi phakchi pakupaku
パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクパク
HEY! WHAT'S UP TONIGHT
”WE” aishiaiou ze minna wa tomodachi
「WE」 愛し合おうぜ みんなは友達
OH〜〜〜〜
rakusa rakusa rakusa rakusa kurakura
ラクサ・ラクサ・ラクサ・ラクサ・クラクラ
OH〜〜〜〜
phakchi phakchi phakchi phakchi pakupaku
パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクチ・パクパク
OH〜〜〜〜
LET'S GO PHAKCHI TONIGHT
YES! 10JINACTOR
YES! 10神ACTOR
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I like Hero Academia, but I also think it's so-so. I keep investing my time on it because I've come to enjoy the characters and have a thing for the hero subgenre, but the story still lacks something imo... Maybe a bigger conflict that sets the plot into motion for real. Anyway, is there any seinen you're particularly a fan of?
Yeah, it’s not bad, but not great either. The appeal of Jump and the Jump system (for me) is that the conditions Jump artists are put under force them to produce works that might not always be super coherent but have the power and appeal to just drag the audience along with it… while I called Hero Academia “a Sunday manga” because Sunday is way more low-key and coherent and less extreme, for the most part. And I’m not really a Sunday fan in general.
Hmm, I’m a pretty big fan of Iwaaki Hitoshi! Parasyte is an obvious choice but I also love Tanabata no kuni and Historie (even though the military strategy route the plot has taken leaves me a bit cold). I always read Shinya shokudo when a new volume comes out. I was also a big fan of Kokkoku when it was running and I’m picking up Golden Gold in tankobon. I read a thriller the other day called Unagi oni which was okay. I could re-read Sasaki Noriko’s seinen forever, like Otanko nurse or Channel wa sonomama! I really need to re-read and finish Hitsuji no ki one of these days. I also read a lot of random essay manga that ran in seinen magazines, like Matsumoto Eiko’s Arakokyu. I also read Hoshino Yukinobu and Morohoshi Daijiro and Kaitani Shinobu and... basically I read a lot of seinen that I randomly pick up, there’s a lot of hit and miss but it’s probably my favorite demographic. Although I realize this will probably come as a surprise!
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