Lucienne/Lucien - How the Librarian Became the Chief.
In The Sandman Netflix adaptation Lucienne is a stand out character and second only to Morpheus in importance, screen time, and centrality to the story. Lucienne is Morpheus's loyal Librarian, second in command, ruler of the Dreaming in his absence, and often times a voice of reason and advice for our dutiful King of Dreams. She is so well respected in her position that the other castle residents consider her their boss and would rather go to her for guidance and command than Morpheus himself. She takes care of Dream's ravens and even appears to have the power to create new ravens from newly deceased mortals like she did with Matthew. She is clearly extremely close to Morpheus, and is one of very few people he seems to actually listen to and trust. Lucienne's role in this story can not be underestimated.
So it may come as a surprise to any fans of the show who haven't read the comics to learn that Lucien (as he is called in the comics) is afforded very few of the above traits. In fact Lucien is no where near as close to Morpheus even by the very end of the story, as Lucienne is at the beginning. It is this difference that has fascinated me since I first started diving into the comics after falling in love with the show, and its something I view as extremely important when considering how the story is being adapted into a kinder, more sympathetic universe surrounding our central protagonist.
Lucienne's role is expanded greatly from her comic counterpart, and her relationship with Morpheus is shown to be much deeper. This is evident practically right away at the end of episode one when Lucienne comes to greet Morpheus upon his return to the Dreaming following his escape.
The way she runs over to him as soon as she realises he is back, and lovingly takes his hand and is so pleased to see him is a far cry from the comic where the first thing Lucien does is bow.
So right at the start we see a very different form of relationship here. Where Lucienne is already displaying a level of care and devotion beyond the expectations of a servant, Lucien however, is exactly that.
The servant thing has caused a bit of contention among fandom in the past. I think the confusion could come from whether or not you see Lucien or Lucienne first. Lucien IS a servant of Dream. Lucienne is more like a vice president and royal advisor. Those are two very different things after all and that difference only becomes more obvious the further you go into the story.
Lucienne accompanies Morpheus throughout his return to his crumbling kingdom, helps him as he attempt to repair the damage, follows him to Cain and Abel, and watches over his meeting with the Fates. She is by his side from the moment he returns until the moment he leaves again for the waking world to begin his quest to recover his tools, and she is responsible for Matthew's reincarnation as the new Raven and instructs Matthew to stay with him because of her concern for Morpheus's wellbeing on his quest.
I cannot stress enough how much none of this is in the comics. Lucienne shows a level of care towards Morpheus that just isn't present in Lucien in the comics. After the first meeting with Lucien at the gates of the Dreaming, Lucien doesn't appear again until he is instructed by Morpheus to conduct the census of the Dreaming. He only appears again in the Doll's House very briefly and has no involvement in Morpheus's decisions during that arc, which takes place very rarely in the Dreaming.
That's not to say that Lucien isn't a very trusted servant of Morpheus. He is the closest to Morpheus of all the residents of the Dreaming except only Matthew. But I think a lot of what we see in the show of Morpheus and Lucienne's dynamic is inspired by much later in the comics. I also think that it speaks loudly to the change in Morpheus as a character. Show!Morpheus has people almost right away who care about him and want to help him, whereas comic!Morpheus is extremely isolated. It is clear in the early comic stories that comic!Morpheus keeps himself at arms length from basically everyone. He does not have a bond with Lucien, he did not have Jessamy, and at that early stage, he didn't even have Matthew. All of this of course was primarily to make show!Morpheus a more sympathetic and likeable character - you gotta give your protagonist people who care about them, it helps raise the stakes after all.
Taking Charge - Lucienne is the real boss
One of my favourite parts of the Dolls House episodes in the Netflix show is the conflict between Morpheus and Lucienne due to the other residence and Dreaming servants going to her for advice and instruction first rather than Morpheus. Bearing in mind this only takes place less than a year after Morpheus's return from imprisonment, it speaks volumes as to how Lucienne has taken the role of leader of the Dreaming in her stride.
But it also indicates how Morpheus' change in the show is coming at lightening fast speed compared to the comic. In the comic, Mervyn doesn't make these observations until the Brief Lives arc, and this is indicated at that point to be a very new thing - triggered by several years post fish bowl of having to face his past decisions and mistakes (and a string of scorned ex lovers one after the other ending in a horribly matched rebound relationship with a murderous witch that subsequently rejected him and triggered him literally seeking out destruction). Lucien was only put in charge of the Dreaming when Morpheus left to go on his trip with Delirium. It is during that trip that Morpheus realises how competent Lucien is and capable of running things without problem in his absence.
Mervyn's insights are made clear here:
This is the only time in the comic that anyone dares mention that someone other than Morpheus might be the boss - and it is in no way as directly spelled out as it is in the show. "You're practically running the place" and "you secretly run this place" are quite different statements. The first only makes an observation about Morpheus's current lack of interest (in Brief Lives) in actually running his realm. It implies that Lucien is doing Morpheus' job for him, but does not go as far as to outright call Lucien the boss. Whereas in the show, that's exactly what Mervyn does.
In the comic, Morpheus overhears Mervyn's speech and immediately points out his reasoning for leaving Lucien in charge, for promoting him and giving him more authority.
Because no one ever technically undermines Morpheus in the comic, there is no conflict here. Morpheus trusts Lucien as his loyal servant and gives him the power to rule in his stead (but only when he is absent) and there is no "secretly report to Lucien first" attitude among Matthew and Mervyn. We can perhaps interpret that this might be happening behind the scenes by this point in Brief Lives, or even just before the BL arc when Morpheus was distracted by his rebound murderess, but it is never actually directly stated that this is going on.
The tension between Morpheus and Lucienne in the show is born out of the conflict over Lucienne's position and Morpheus feeling undermined by his subjects, and its storytelling gold. But the only reason such a story works in the show is because Lucienne is so important to Morpheus in the show, because their relationship goes so much deeper than the relationship in the comic. Lucienne is not a servant, she's his god damn vice president and she knows it, and he knows it too. Throughout episodes 7 and 8 specifically he reaches out to her for her opinion and advice on the Vortex situation. He talks things through with her and seeks out her guidance. It is clear that he relies on her and it is only at the end of episode 8 when Lucienne disagrees with his punishment of Gault, that in his anger, he dismisses her.
Lucien/ne the Royal Advisor
Where Morpheus in the show seeks out Lucienne's advice and opinion frequently especially during the Doll's House arc, I have to stress that this never happens in the comic. Comic!Morpheus just does not have that kind of relationship with Lucien and does not seek his counsel at all, even though Lucien does try to give it on occassion, usually when Morpheus is about to do something extremely stupid and probably damaging to himself and the Dreaming. To name a couple times:
Season of Mists - before Morpheus returns to Hell:
Brief Lives - before seeking Destruction:
You'll note that in both these times Lucien's words of caution are completely ignored.
You'll also notice that in both times Lucien is taking a path of polite caution. Lucien very rarely speaks his mind to Morpheus, because he knows it won't get him very far to do so. The only time Lucien truly loses his cool and speaks freely is in The Kindly Ones (spoiler alert)
At this point in the comic story Morpheus has basically all but given up and accepted his fate and its fucking depressing AF. Lucien is well within his right to shake the bastard HARD and snap him TF out of it. I STILL think he was too restrained here tbh!
My point here is that Lucienne already speaks her mind quite freely around Morpheus in the show. She expresses her opinions and thoughts and gives him her advice. This is such a well established dynamic by the point of the argument that it is clear that Lucienne is offended by Morpheus's dismissal of her.
Take this exchange from episode 9:
Lucienne: "Rose is weakening the walls between realms"
Matthew: "You gonna tell the Boss?"
Lucienne: "No."
Matthew: "No?"
Lucienne: "It's none of my business."
Matthew: "Er, since WHEN?"
Lucienne: "Since Lord Morpheus reminded me that I'm merely a librarian and should concern myself with my books from now on."
Matthew: "He said that?! What's wrong with him!"
Lucienne: "Nothing is wrong with him. He's always been this way. He's just been away so long I'd forgotten. He's determined to deal with the vortex and the missing Arcana by himself. Without anyones help. So any news must be reported directly and exclusively to him."
It's worth pointing out here that whilst this is framed as Morpheus being a stubborn idiot, in the comic, he does in fact deal with the vortex and the missing Arcana by himself mostly and is not so much helped but saved at the last moment by Unity Kinkaid who realises what is happening in a dream and goes to save Rose, which also saves Morpheus from Desire's trap.
In the show, Morpheus has people who care enough about him and his realm to want to get involved and help him, not out of a desire to undermine him, but simply because they care about him. That is a drastic change from the comic at this point. Morpheus in the comic is constantly shown to be struggling under the burden of his own responsibilities and this is highlighted by the fact that he doesn't really get any support or assistance, and is far too prideful to ask for it. Lucien gets the promotion and chance to rule in his absence, but it is never framed as a job he shares with Morpheus - at no point does Lucien take the burden of his responsibilities off of him. This is no Samwise Gamgee "I can carry you" moment unfortunately. Lucien does not have the power nor the bond with Morpheus to undertake such a task because Morpheus keeps him at arms length throughout the comics - but Lucienne? Well, time will tell how that may change.
An Apology from the King
In a shock horror twist that comic!Morpheus would sooner die than do himself (ha) the great emo King of the Netflix universe gives Lucienne an apology for his behaviour (sort of).
Episode 9 displays the tension between Morpheus and Lucienne following their "break up" perfectly. Morpheus is clearly in the wrong, and Lucienne is clearly hurt by his dismissal of her support. Yet even after the fight, he still seeks out her advice in determining the cause of the disturbances in the Dreaming. He goes to her first before investigating himself (something that comic!Morpheus wouldn't even consider doing) and is surprisingly capable in swallowing his pride here even though it is clearly a struggle for him.
Later in the episode, once he realises that Lucienne was right about the disturbances, he seeks her out to tell her so, and to confirm that she was right and he was wrong. This is again something that I can't fathom comic!Morpheus doing, even nearer the end of the story I don't believe he does so, certainly not to Lucien. Fiddlers Green drums this point home when he says this:
Fiddlers Green: "... still his time there appears to have changed him as it has changed me."
Lucienne: "How so?"
Fiddlers Green: "Lucienne, he came to you and told you he was wrong. It was very nearly an apology. The Morpheus I knew was incapable of that."
This further reinforces not just how much Morpheus has changed in a short time, but also how much he respects and cares about Lucienne and their continued relationship.
Platonic Life Partners? Co Ruler and Closest Confident of the Dream King
When I set out to write this meta, it was with the aim to highlight Lucienne's elevated role from her comic counterpart. To try to stress the importance of her character in the show and what this means for the future of the story in the show. By the end of the last episode, Lucienne is practically granted co-ruler status of the Dreaming while Morpheus works on his creations. He asks her if she can "take care of things while he works" which she agrees "with pleasure".
I just... I can NOT stress ENOUGH how much comic!Morpheus needed this person in his life. Even though Lucien looks after the Dreaming whilst Morpheus is away in Season of Mists and Brief Lives, it is always as a last resort with Morpheus continuing to check in on Lucien during Brief Lives as if he expects trouble, and he always seems a bit confused when Lucien tells him all is fine. As if he can't quite understand how the Dreaming could be okay without him there (and I mean, after the trauma of watching your realm which is also technically a part of you crumble to dust I suppose you would be a bit attached to it!).
Comic!Morpheus constantly struggles under the weight of his responsibility. His entire thing is that he is desperate to step away and not be who he is but he simply does not have it in him to do that. He is far too bound by his rules and responsibilities. For Morpheus in the show to be given someone to support him in his rule as King and assist him with the burden of his responsibilities is actually a hugely mindblowing change to the comic, and could honestly have huge repercussions on the story going forward. Not only that, but the Morpheus in the comics is painfully lonely. He desperately needs companionship but he keeps everyone at arms length. He never allows his subjects to get too close to him, even Lucien. Even Matthew isn't afforded the same level of closeness in the comics as he is in the show. In the comics, the ONLY character who Morpheus is close to is Death. Which says a lot by itself. The second character he gets closer to as time goes on is Delirium. Which also says a lot. Think of the characters in terms of their concepts. Morpheus has no close friends in the comics (even his relationship with Hob Gadling in the comic doesn't have half the impact it does in the show) and keeps all those he interacts with at arms length except for Delirium and Death.
But show!Morpheus? He has a Matthew who is already so very devoted to him, a Hob Gadling who waited an extra 33 years on hope alone that he would return to him, and a Lucienne who rules by his side, offers him support, guidance, counsel, companionship and probably a good helping of love. How can this Morpheus possibly carry the same deep loneliness as his comic counterpart? How can this Morpheus be buckling under the weight of his duties when he already has his Samwise Gamgee right there by his side? It poses an interesting question for how the show will handle future story arcs, though it could all prove to simply make for a much more painful story, where we happen to have many more characters to react and show the deeply painful grief that we all feel at his eventual passing - or maybe, just maybe, this is a universe where Hope never died...
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The announcement | The blog message
Discord is changing their username system. as an example change: the account User#7235 would change their username to @ user, with an additional profile nickname (like Twitter has), on top of server nicknames-- and that's IF you manage to get your desired username in the first place.
Please leave feedback on Discord's feedback site if you're opposed to this change.
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as i'm waiting for my new tablet to arrive i'm reminded why i don't shop online ever and hate paying in advance for something i haven't been able to hold in my hands yet.
it's starting to seem like it won't arrive before my birthday tomorrow so i am officially livid. i specifically picked a store that wasn't far away and promised delivery on the 28 at the earliest but it looked like they only shipped it on the 28th judging by the status 😒 the one time I order a gadget online instead of going directly to a store and this happens. birthday officially ruined.
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I wish I had been watching Fringe as it was coming out as it was happening live because I have so many THEORIES and THOUGHTS but I can’t exactly google anything to check up on data because then I’ll get the answers and that’s the LAST thing I want but how else am I supposed to get a list of the commercial break cards in the order that they appear short of rewatching everything myself when I haven’t even finished season 2. “danny they’re just title cards they don’t mean anything” then why are they shown in a different order every ep with them being seemingly unrelated to the episode content. why are there nine of them with each one having a little yellow light. (and why do I seem to remember that little yellow light only showing up after 1x14.) WHY ARE THEY SOMETIMES ROTATED. If this was just a placeholder title card, just a straight forward symbol, they wouldn’t be ROTATING THEM and CHANGING THEM UP. I know I know I sound like conspiracy theory central but this is conspiracy theory the show so I feel like I’m justified and also patterns make brain go brrr I love to notice things. peter bishop’s license plate is “1C3PO1”
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The last story was amazing, hope you can get this one in before the holdidays, and have a nice vacation. And just a great next few months on top of that! But I was wondering ( sorry this may be long ) if you could do a headcanon of alastor, lucifer, Angel Dust, lucifer, fizz + Ozzie, and Rosie? ( sorry if that's to many characters there all just great characters ) x a reader who has CIP ( the inablility ) to feel pain? Thank you! Also how have you been?
I'm all good. I haven't had much free time lately, so I'm a little behind schedule on writing requests, but I still don't lose hope that I'll be able to finish everything before the end of the year. And how are you doing?
Headcanons CIP
🕷 Angel Dust x Reader 💖
You and Angel have known each other for a long time. You knew that he often got into various scuffles and always reminded him to be careful. One of the times you knew for sure that he was going to get into trouble, you went with him. You were right and helped him cope and not get hurt, but there was something that caused him concern. You were hit by several bullets, but you didn't seem to pay any attention to it at all
Only when you noticed the blood on your clothes did you say with irritation that you had ruined your favorite sweater. Angel jumped up to you, worried about your wounds, but you didn't seem to feel the pain, which you soon informed him about. That's why Angel took you back to the hotel, where he treated your wounds. You told him that you had a CIP. You haven't felt pain since you were born, even when you were human, and even in Hell, the absence of pain has remained with you
Angel was surprised that for so long he didn't know that you don't feel pain at all. You had to pay attention to little things so as not to harm yourself, for example, be careful about hot dishes, because you might not notice how hot the soup could be or how hot the cup of coffee was. Angel listened attentively to you, surprised that he didn't notice it
Angel has become more attentive towards you. He didn't constantly take care of you, but sometimes he reminded you that the food or drink was hot, that you held the knife too close to your fingers, or that you were injured. Angel understood that even if you didn't feel pain, it didn't mean that the wounds didn't hurt you, which is why he tried to take care of you at least a little
📻 Alastor x Reader🎙
Alastor found out that you don't feel pain when he noticed that you returned to the hotel with an injured leg. You weren't even limping. You just went to your room like everything was completely normal. He didn't know any other reason for this. He went to your room with a first-aid kit and you did not hide from him either your own wound or the fact that you really did not feel pain
Alastor stayed in your room while you treated the wound on your leg. You told him that even when you were human, you didn't feel pain. You assumed that at least in Hell this would change, but it turned out not to be so. Because of this, you didn't notice the wounds you could get until you noticed the blood on your clothes
The origin of the scars on your skin was now clear. He understood that you probably got these scars in Hell. On your palms, hands, and obviously not only there. You really weren't very worried about your own health, and the lack of pain only made it harder for you to take care of yourself
Alastor understood that in Hell there was much less harm from this for you. Dying in Hell was much more difficult for a sinner than when you were alive, so Alastor didn't worry too much about you. He knew you'd be fine, but he still left a first-aid kit in your room in case you needed it
💀Rosie x Reader 🌹
You were a frequent guest at Rosie's and helped her with some problems at her store. You often stayed at her house for weeks at a time, but Rosie was only too happy to spend time with you. Sometimes you came in with wounds after fights, but Rosie was sure they weren't that serious, so you didn't pay attention to it. However, when you came in seriously injured but behaved as if everything was fine, she became worried
Rosie insistently asked you to sit down and brought a first aid kit. She was in no hurry to ask questions or jump to conclusions, primarily focusing on your wounds. You didn't make a sound when she was treating your wounds, which gave Rosie certain thoughts
You honestly told her that you didn't feel pain at all. Even before your death, you had CIP and you learned to live with it, but in Hell you became more relaxed and took much less care of your own health, which led to your injury. Rosie listened to you carefully, then gently stroked your hair and asked you to be careful
Rosie didn't want you to try. She knew that you tried to be more attentive to yourself and tried to avoid new wounds. You didn't want to upset Rosie and make her worry, which is why you tried not to put yourself in danger, not even realizing that Rosie was ready to show those who would harm you why she was overlord
🍎 Lucifer Morningstar x Reader 🐍
Lucifer knew perfectly well that you didn't feel pain. You've known each other for a long time and he often saw you after fights. You didn't pay attention to the wounds, just talked irritably about stained or torn clothes. You both knew that the lack of feeling pain had its own characteristics, so you made sure that the wounds were treated, and Lucifer made sure that no one dared to hurt you
Lucifer was much stronger than you, and when you were together, no one dared even try to look at you askance, but sometimes you got involved in fights, especially when it was the end of the year. You didn't want to hide, even though you knew you could have died. Every time Lucifer found out that you were fighting again, he watched, taking his time to intervene. It was only when he saw that you were seriously injured that he intervened
Lucifer sometimes offered to pick up personal guards for you, but you kept telling him that it wasn't necessary. Just because you didn't feel pain didn't mean you were reckless. You tried not to put yourself in excessive danger, realizing that even in Hell you could die
You didn't know how long you would be in Hell and whether it was possible to leave Hell at all, but while you were there you weren't going to let yourself die again, especially because you didn't notice any wound and Lucifer didn't mind helping you with it
🎪 Fizzarolli x Reader x Asmodeus 💕
In your relationship, Asmodeus has always tried to take care of Fizzarolli and you. He had sincere feelings for both of you, and you responded in kind, but if Fizzarolli really tried to be careful, then you got into trouble more often. They both saw the wounds healing on you, but you always said it was just a small accident and they had nothing to worry about. This went on until you returned with bloodstains on your clothes and serious wounds that you didn't pay attention to
They immediately rushed to you, both very worried. You convinced them that you were fine, but this time it was obviously not the case. Asmodeus treated your wounds, after which he seriously asked who did it. To his question, you smiled gently and said that they were much worse off than you, so you shouldn't have worried about it. However, there was something that did not escape their eyes. It's like you didn't feel the touch of your wounds
When Fizzarolli asked you if you were in pain, you were confused and said that you didn't feel any pain at all. You've had CIP and you've never felt pain in your entire life. There used to be problems because of this, but now you have learned to avoid serious problems, at least you tried
Asmodeus and Fizzarolli weren't going to leave you alone until your wounds were completely healed. They both surrounded you with care, worrying about you, to which you laughed softly and hugged them. Even in Hell, you were able to find those who gave you the warmth that warmed your heart and soul
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in between 𓂃 ࣪ ˖ 𐦍
pairing best friend!jj maybank x fem!reader
summary best friends since the first grade, it was only inevitable that you and jj would fall for each other. however, when a single night suddenly changes things between you, you’re both left wondering if you ever should’ve tried to cross the line at all. [11.8k]
warnings 18+, unprotected sex (sorry, but what else is new?), dry humping, oral (m. receiving), daddy kink, pet names (pretty girl, princess, etc.), dirty talk, body-shaming (not by jj), reader's parents being shitty, drunk jj causing a scene at a party, childhood best friends to lovers, a love confession, i think that's it???
author's note i really hope you guys like this one! kinda nervous bc i haven't posted a full fic in awhile, but i think i'm happy with it. ik it's long, but i think it's worth it! also, enjoy the logan huntzberger (gilmore girls) cameo LOL
in between universe | jj masterlist | playlist | kofi
Amid the raging storm outside, a series of frantic knocks on your front door echoed through your house. You rushed to the door, swinging it open to reveal a drenched and dishevelled JJ Maybank.
“Oh my god!” You exclaimed in panic, yanking him inside. Your hands quickly found his face, and then his shoulders as your eyes scanned his body for any signs of injury. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“Hello to you, too,” he greeted, smiling down at you. He couldn’t deny the stroke his ego got, nor the fluttering in his stomach he felt when you worried for him. “I’m fine, by the way. Jus’ a tad cold.”
JJ hoped you’d take the hint and pull him into your arms — the place he always longed to be — but was caught off guard when your hand slapped his chest. “Hey!”
“What if you catch pneumonia?!”
“I’m fine, Y/N/N.”
“Fine? You could’ve gotten killed!”
“By what? The gentle breeze outside?” That earns him another slap. “Ow!”
“Don’t smart-mouth me, Maybank.”
“You love my smart mouth,” he teases, pinching your cheek playfully.
Once again, his hopes were wrong, because while he was praying for a glimpse of that smile that made his knees weak, your hand came flying at him for a third time. Luckily for him, he was quick, catching your wrist and pulling you to stand right in front of him.
“You’re gonna wanna be real careful about what you do next, princess.” Powerful blue eyes locked with yours and you knew that he’d won. “Gotta say, this is not the welcome I was expecting. Kinda hoped I’d get a kiss or somethin’.”
Your heart sang at his comment, but you remained focused on the outside, keeping your face straight.
“For what? Being an idiot?”
Then, he gave you the face.
Pouty, and adorable, and JJ, and just like he had planned, you started to fold.
You couldn’t stay mad at him if you tried.
Even if he helped.
“I’m sorry. I’m just worried. You aren’t invincible, you know.”
He visibly softened at your words, as if he wasn’t soft on you before, and he released your wrist. But he didn’t give your hand back to you. Instead, he kept it with him, mindlessly playing with your fingers so he wouldn’t have to give up the physical contact.
“C’mon. You really think I’m gonna let anythin’ stop me from annoying you for the rest of your life? Not a chance, baby.”
Baby. Uh oh. Your resolve was beginning to waver.
“‘N the reason I came is ‘cause I didn’t want my pretty girl alone in this mess,” he murmured, and you detected some shyness in his voice. “Besides, when have we ever spent a storm night apart?”
Aaand it was gone.
Vanished.
He always knew how to get you. Then again, you always let him.
You tilted your head, fighting a smile and losing miserably when it broke free. “Alright. I guess you’re sweet. Even if you’re an idiot.”
“There’s my girl,” he grinned. “Now gimme a hug. I’m cold.” He tried to reach out for you, but you backed away, putting more distance between you two.
“No way, you’re soaked,” you laughed, now extremely grateful for the cozy pjs you were sporting.
“Oh, c’mon. You’re really not gonna hug me?” He picked up an old-timey accent when he spoke next, “I ventured through the brave storm to see you, m’lady. The least you could do is offer me a warm embrace.”
He was so animated with it that it was damn near impossible not to giggle. “My sincerest apologies, sir. You seem to be out of luck.”
“Alright, that’s it.”
Before you knew it, JJ lunged at you. You let out a squeal, running as fast as you could with your socks slipping against the marble tiles.
It took a little bit of time, and you’d covered a lot of area in the house by the time he finally captured you. Strong, brawny arms wrapped around your frame and picked you up right off the ground. He spun you around in the air a few times, relishing in the sun-soaked laughter that escaped you before putting you down.
You turned around in his grip, looking incredibly earnest when your hands came to rest on his arms. “Thanks for coming to save me. Not that I needed it.”
He smiled warmly at your statement. “I’ll always come ‘n save you,” he said, capturing your chin between his fingers. His thumb stroked over your chin softly. “You’re my Y/N/N. Nothin’s more important than you.”
You found yourself stuck in an intense stare with him yet again, your heart thumping loudly at his sincerity and gooey sweetness.
“Come on. You need to shower before you get sick.”
You grabbed his hand, but he came willingly with a lovestruck look you couldn’t see.
“Yes, ma'am.”
—
After shoving JJ into the shower and practically pouring a hot cup of tea down his throat to ensure he was warm from the inside out, the two of you found solace in your cozy and — in JJ’s words — kooky bed with your backs against the pillows and headboard.
“Make fun all you want but you and I both know I have to drag you out of here kicking ‘n screaming every time you sleepover.”
“…Shut up.”
Despite his words, JJ huddled closer to you under the plush covers. The wind howled outside, alongside the occasional rumble of thunder. If it weren’t for the light casting around the room from your TV, and the entirely hilarious sitcom How I Met Your Mother playing in the background, the ambience would’ve made the room feel eerie.
“So,” JJ began, breaking the silence, “you heard from your parents lately? Thought they were supposed to come back this week?”
Ah, yes. Your parents.
From a young age, you’d learned not to expect much from the people who had brought you into the world.
The minute they realized they could, they’d handed you off to a nanny and threw themselves back into the lives they’d lived before you had arrived. Your mom went heavy on the scotch and retail therapy, and your dad had re-immersed himself in his work. When he wasn’t doing that, he was squandering his free time away at the country club, playing golf and consuming copious amounts of alcohol alongside your mother.
Anything to get out of the house, and, evidently, away from you.
The older you grew, the less you saw of them as they travelled the world for business. By the time you were fifteen, you’d pretty much been living in that enormous mansion all by yourself for ten months out of the year.
Sometimes, even more.
Not that you’d ever voice your complaints to them. You knew they wouldn’t hear you. They’d simply spew out something along the lines of ‘Sweetheart, you’ve never had to work for anything in your life. if you had, you’d understand that we can’t be there for every silly little dance recital or graduation.’
And yes, that included your high school graduation.
When they did spend time with you, that time would be filled with snarky comments about your appearance and about your sympathy for the pogues. Nothing about you ever seemed to satisfy them.
But somehow, amid the loneliness and abandonment you’d been able to comprehend from far too young of an age, you’d found and held onto the one person who made it all melt away.
JJ.
It was the first day of second grade, and all the children in your class were colouring. All of them except for the little blonde boy who sat across the room, by himself, with a blank sheet of paper in front of him, but nothing to colour with. You were only six at the time, but you could sense that he was alone too. And your heart hurt for him because it hurt the same way for you.
So, you got up from your seat, grabbed your paper and your sixty-four pack of crayons (the pack that every child dreamt of having) and trotted off to his table. You perched yourself in the chair beside his and offered to share your crayons with him.
At first, he just stared at you. You thought that maybe he didn’t want you there, but then, you saw the tiniest glimpse of his dimple when he gave you a small smile, nodding.
“Thanks.”
And now, a decade and a half later, you were just as inseparable as you had been since that very first day.
Your house was now considered a home, had been since the moment JJ first stepped onto the marble flooring with his boyishly muddy shoes. He filled the aching silence with laughter and excitement and finally, finally, some cherishable memories.
Like how he’d helped you climb your first tree, and carried you on his back into your house after you’d scraped your knee while doing so. Camping in your backyard and sprinting inside once non-forecasted rain came pouring down on your flimsy little kiddy tent. He’d accidentally stolen your first kiss (and he’d never admit it, but he was and still is overjoyed to have done so). Movie nights where he’d let you pick the film and sit happily while you pushed his hair back and applied a face mask to his tanned skin.
Anything you wished for, JJ would give it to you without a second thought. Any time you needed him, he’d drop everything to run over to you. He was loyal, sweet, hilarious, thoughtful, and though he was good at hiding it from the light, his heart was pure gold.
But what had mattered most to you was that in a world where everyone close to you had chosen to leave, he was the one who had stayed.
Without him, there was noise.
With him? Quiet.
Peaceful, and calm, and quiet.
No one turned your world like him. And that made it that much more inevitable to fall for him.
The feeling of JJ’s finger tapping against your temple broke you out of your daze. “Hey. You in there?”
“Yeah, sorry,” you replied. “My mom called me a couple days ago to tell me they cancelled their flight. They’re coming back on Monday instead.”
“So, basically, what I’m hearin’ is that they just didn’t wanna be stuck in the house with you all weekend.”
“Precisely.”
You mocked your mother’s voice when you spoke next. “You know I can only take that sorry little island in small doses. Besides, if we come home now, we’ll be holed up in the house during that storm. Why on earth would I trade my penthouse view for that?”
JJ gave you a sad look, obviously upset for you. It wasn’t like he expected much from them either, but he knew that deep down, even if you refused to admit it, it stung.
They really couldn’t spend one weekend with you? Being with their daughter is that much of a hardship for them?
“Stop. It’s fine.” And you meant it. These kinds of stunts were nothing new to you. You didn’t think they were gonna race home to you to make sure you were okay. A quick text would suit them just as well.
“Don’t do that,” he stopped you. “You’re allowed to be upset. Your parents are assholes.”
Assholes that were so far past unaware of the remarkable person they’d given life to. It shook him to his core, the realization that someone so beautiful both inside and out had come from two cold and selfish people.
But if they would never appreciate you, who cared, because JJ knew he always would.
He’d never let a single moment pass without telling you how special you were. How much you’d helped him, given him a safe haven and shoulder to cry on when he needed it.
Given him peace.
And, if he ever worked up the damn courage…he’d spend every minute of the rest of his life telling you how much he loved you.
You just shrugged in response. “It is what it is. I’m luckier than most.”
He frowned at that. It’d always hurt him to watch you belittle your problems just because you were better off financially. It was almost as if you were numb.
“Well, at least they’ll be here for your birthday. That’s somethin’.”
“Nah, they’re flying back to New York on Friday.”
“Are you serious?” He asked, sitting up straight now. “They couldn’t wait one day?”
“You know how they feel about birthdays, J.”
That was true. JJ had heard them give you the ‘Why should you be rewarded for being born? That isn’t an achievement,’ talk countless times over the years. They’d just stick a wad of cash into your nanny’s hand and tell her to take you out to the mall as if their missing your birthday would be fixed with a shopping spree.
As if it would erase the resentment you knew they felt toward you.
“That doesn’t make it right,” he said, growing frustrated. “Y/N/N, it, like, sickens me to keep watchin’ ‘em treat you like this. You gotta say something.”
“Like what, J? They’d never listen. Just drop it.”
He deflated a bit, leaning back into his original position. “Look, ‘m sorry, okay? I just…I don’t get it. You’re amazin’, you’re— you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t know how they don’t feel the same.”
Damn it. There he went again, making it impossible for you to be in a sour mood.
Gingerly, you turned to him, sitting with your legs criss-crossed. “You’re the only one keeping me going, y’know that? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He sat up once more and cupped your cheek, thumb brushing against the apple of it as he looked deep into your eyes. It felt like he was staring into your soul.
“I promise you’ll never have to find out.” He looked down then, biting his lip slightly before meeting your gaze again. “I put that on my life.”
The rest of the world faded away while the two of you stayed in that moment, frozen in time as if you were a scene captured in a snow globe.
It was times like these when you felt yourself start to believe the things Kie was always telling you.
“I’m just saying, like, how do you not see it?”
She’d been up your ass ever since the boys had split up from you two and left The Wreck. Kie was working at the counter, filling up drinks and cashing out takeout orders.
Oh, and pestering you about JJ’s so-called affections for you.
“Maybe because I’ve known him since we were six and I know what it looks like when he flirts with other girls,” you remarked.
“Okay, but, like, you’re not just some random girl to him. You’re you.”
You made a face. “I don’t even know what that means.”
The groan that emitted from her lips was loud enough to catch the attention of countless customers, but she didn’t seem to care.
“You’re impossible,” she said, placing the lids on three soft drinks. “I’ve known JJ almost as long as you have, and in that time, one thing about him has always been crystal-fucking-clear. He’s in love with you. Always has been, always will be.”
“Whatever you say,” you hummed in response, taking a sip of your Coke and pushing away the warm, fuzzy feeling floating through you at the thought of her words being true.
Meanwhile, JJ was struggling not to act on his desires.
It was the perfect moment.
You were quite literally in his hands — or hand, rather — looking as beautiful as ever. He could kiss you. Right now. Plant one on you, a real kiss, unlike that accidental peck he shared with you at the age of twelve. He’d truly get to taste you this time around and silently convey all his love for you.
And then, fate helped him out.
The lights flickered and cut out in time with a rumble of thunder, leaving the two of you in complete darkness.
JJ took it as a sign.
He leaned forward, and his lips connected with yours. It was soft, tentative at first to see if you’d back off or push him away. To his surprise, your hand snaked up his front, fisting his shirt and pulling him closer. He took that as permission and kissed you deeper, his tongue stroking against yours in a dizzying fashion. The action made you moan into his mouth, and he pocketed the sound in his mind, saving it for later when he was alone and was thinking about you.
And not in an innocent way.
JJ’s hands found your waist, sliding down to your hips before tugging you closer. You took his invitation and clambered your way onto his lap, your lips never leaving his.
God, kissing him felt good. Too good. It was nothing like you’d ever imagined. No, it was better. He kissed you like he’d stop breathing if he didn’t. Like the world would burst into flames and end right then and there if he let go of you.
You didn’t know what was happening, and frankly, in fear of the truth, you had no plans of asking him. If this was the only way you could ever have him, you’d take it without a second thought, consequences be damned.
You were sure that your decision was nowhere near wise, but there was simply no time for wisdom.
JJ, your JJ, was kissing you. Kissing you and touching you and giving himself over to you, even if it was only for one night.
And if doing this was wrong, for once in your life, you didn’t want to be right.
JJ’s hands pulled at the hem of your shirt, and you broke the kiss to let him strip you of it. He tossed it carelessly while his eyes landed on your bare tits.
“Christ,” he whispered, his hands coming up to cup them both. “These are fuckin’ perfect.”
His thumbs brushed over your nipples and you shivered. “J.”
“Shh. I gotchu, baby. Relax for me, yeah? Let me take my time?”
“Yeah,” you breathed. “But can you take your shirt off? Wanna see you too.”
He smiled. You were so damn sweet, it would nearly give him a toothache. “Yeah, pretty girl. I can do that.”
JJ shrugged off his beat-up Heyward’s tee, discarding it on the floor. You ogled at him, at least ninety percent sure that huge red cartoon hearts were projecting from your eyes.
“You’re droolin’ a bit, there,” JJ teased, thumbing at your lip.
Heat crept up into your face at his comment. “Shut up.”
On the inside, he loved the way you were looking at him. You handled him delicately, hands cradling his face as if he were an intricate piece of artwork that you wanted to study and commit to memory.
Every line, every slope, every curve.
Every last stunning piece of him.
“You’re so beautiful, J.”
JJ had been loved by you since elementary school. Sure, it was in a best friend's way, but being loved by you had changed his world. Now, with the way you were looking at him, the way you were speaking to him, the way you were touching him…he couldn’t help but imagine that this was what it’d be like to really be with you.
He turned bashful, his heart still fluttering at your words. “‘M supposed to be sayin’ that to you. Look at you.”
“Stop that,” you said, looking him right in the eyes. “You deserve to be loved on. Let yourself have this. Let yourself feel loved, J.”
Those words echoed in his mind. JJ never felt like he deserved anything good, so he always pushed those opportunities away. Ruined them and made them inaccessible. But with you in his arms, pleading with him to let you show him that he was worthy, he started to believe that maybe he did deserve something positive.
And if it were coming from you? Well, he’d take it without question.
He surged forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. He wanted to kiss you until his lips were sore, and even then, he wouldn’t stop.
With greedy hands, the both of you touched every sliver of skin you could find, your lips never leaving the others for a second. Your hands found their way to JJ’s unruly golden locks, fingers carding through them so you could tug on them a little. A deep rumble of satisfaction came from JJ’s throat, and the noise had been so heavenly that your hips started to roll against his on their own accord.
The friction was toe-curling, so addicting that you couldn’t stop rutting against him even if you wanted to. He was hard as a rock, and big. So big. You didn’t even need him to get naked to know you were right.
“F-Fuck,” JJ stammered against your lips, though his hands didn’t stop helping your hips move. “Keep goin’ ‘n I’ll cum before I’m even inside you.”
“But you feel so good,” you whined. Your brows were pulled together and your jaw was slack, the stimulation already getting you close. “Oh my god.”
“Baby—”
“Please, J. I need it. Don’t make me stop. P-Please don’t make me stop.”
You were right on the edge, and all JJ could focus on were your pretty pleas and the desperation written all over your face. He wanted to watch you explode, wanted to watch you go slack as the pleasure rolled through you. Wanted to hear what you sounded like when you came for him.
So he encouraged you.
“Go ‘head, pretty girl. Make a mess. Get yourself nice ‘n wet for me.” His lips found your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin to leave his mark. He felt you cling to him as your actions sped up, his cock throbbing as he tried to fight off his high. It almost took everything in him not to give in. “Good girl. You got it.”
You came loudly, chest heaving up and down as your body twitched and went through the motions of your release. You felt JJ leave more wet kisses across your chest as you tried to regulate your breathing, your hand playing with his hair carelessly.
“That might’ve been the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, baby,” he spoke, his hands rubbing up and down your sides. Goosebumps formed underneath his fingertips, and he couldn’t help himself from realizing how responsive your body was for him.
It’d never been like this with anyone else. No one could compare to you. He didn’t even have to sink into you for confirmation.
He was fucking done for.
JJ never thought his complete and utter devotion to you could ever run deeper in his veins, but here you were, proving him wrong.
He was more than fine with that.
“Fuck me, J. Need you inside me,” you said, hands running over the planes of his chest. Your lip was caught between your teeth, and JJ could tell that you were feeling shy.
“How could I ever deny you when you’re askin’ me so nicely, huh?” He thumbed at your bottom lip, trying to break it free so he could kiss you again. He did, giving you a deep kiss bubbling over the top with affection. “How do you want it?”
“Wanna ride you. Can I?”
Fuck.
“You can have whatever you want, princess.”
You grinned, your hands running down the path of his front before finding the button of his pants with ease. You popped it open, unzipping them and tugging his boxers down. His cock sprang out, beautiful and pink and curved. The bead of pre-cum caught your eye, and your mouth watered instantly, dying to know what he tasted like. You dipped your head down, your tongue sticking out and swirling around his tip gently as you coated your tastebuds with him. You were about to dive in for seconds when JJ stopped you.
“Please don’t, baby. I won’t last.”
You pouted. “But I wanna suck you off. Don’t you wanna fuck my throat?”
Christ. Those sinful words sounded nothing but heavenly, and it was hard to resist you.
“Promise you can later. But right now,” he paused, hands grabbing you and pulling you to straddle his lap again, “I need to feel that pretty pussy.”
“Yes, daddy.”
JJ threw his head back with a groan. “You’re really tryna kill me, aren’t you?”
You simply giggled in response, before circling your hand around his cock. You slid his tip through your folds, from your creamy slit to your clit — and the whimper you let out when you rubbed it over your bundle of nerves almost sent JJ into shock — then back down to your hole again. You started to sink down on him, letting out a hiss when he stretched you wide. Once his tip was inside, JJ swore he started to drool. He was barely inside you and yet your hot, wet walls felt like ecstasy.
When you sank down all the way, JJ let out a tortured, “Fuckin’ soaked, fuck.” Your walls fluttered subconsciously, and he groaned. “Move for me before I bust. Please.”
“No cumming yet, J,” you tutted, slowly beginning to bounce on him and giving in to his wishes. He was so big, it was a miracle that you could fit him completely. The intrusion had you feeling so full, but he was hitting every square inch of your cunt and you were on cloud nine. You picked up a good rhythm, earning praise from JJ as you did so.
“There ya go, baby. Thaaat’s it,” he rasped, leaning back against the headboard to watch you work. His hands cupped your tits as they bounced, feeling your pert nipples rubbing against his palms. “Fuck. Me. Shit.”
His favourite girl, the star of every single fantasy he’s ever had, was beautifully bare and in his lap, riding the fuck out of his cock. He denied the urge to shut his eyes, no matter how euphoric he felt, ‘cause he didn’t want to miss a single second.
Lost in the pleasure, your hands migrated from his built shoulders to his chest, and you clawed at him. He hissed but ultimately enjoyed the stinging feeling pricking at his skin.
You could tell because, within a millisecond, his broad arms had enveloped your entire frame and started bucking his hips upward and taking control.
You gasped his name in shock, your own arms instinctively wrapping around him to hold on for dear life.
“Shh, baby. Let me do the work. You just keep takin’ this cock like a good girl for me, ‘kay?”
Oh, that mouth. That perfect, filthy mouth. You could’ve died right there if he let you.
“Y-Yeah.”
“Yeah, who? What’s my name in here, angel?”
“D-Daddy.”
And the cheeky fucker smirked. “Damn fuckin’ straight.”
He flipped you onto your back, your bare skin hitting the thick comforter. His hands curled around the backs of your knees as he kept you spread wide open for him. His eyes couldn’t help but drift to where you two were connected, watching you swallow his cock whole.
“Such a good fuckin’ pussy,” he grunted. “Jus’ keeps gettin’ wetter ‘n tighter f’me.”
“Yes. Yes. All for you, Daddy. S’all for you,” you called out when he started to fuck you harder. He was animalistic with it, the lust and need for you going into overdrive. It was the sexiest thing you’d ever seen.
Your excitement only grew when JJ leaned forward, his deliciously carved frame hovering above yours. Thick arms caged you in, and large palms held your head up. His forehead leaned against yours, blue eyes holding yours captive in a hypnotizing fashion.
“Eyes on me, baby. Want your eyes on me when you cum.”
He knew you were getting there, your cries only increasing in volume as your pussy coated him completely in your slick. Your walls were contracting, tightening around him and threatening to take his breath away.
He also knew that his words would go a long way right now, judging by the way you’d been reacting to them thus far.
“Tired, aren’t you, baby? Tired of carrying all that weight on your shoulders?” He asked, his breath fanning over your lips as he panted. He littered soft pecks across your cheek when you nodded, an intoxicating juxtaposition from the savoury and harsh pounding he was giving you. “Yeah, I know, babygirl. Always workin’ so damn hard tryna take care of all of us. Jus’ need someone to take care a’you for a change, yeah? Need Daddy to do all the work ‘n make y’feel good? That right?”
Don’t get him wrong. JJ was a feminist. You’d raised him right. But he always had the crippling need to do whatever he could to make your days lighter, make your life easier.
And now, apparently, that included fucking the stress out of you until you couldn’t even remember what had caused it in the first place.
He let out a breathy and proud chuckle when your walls started to clamp down harder on him. He had you right where he wanted you; clinging onto him like a koala and keeping his skin pressed to yours, crying from his gifted hip work, and teetering on the peak of your orgasm.
“C-Close, J. So close,” you gasped out, chest heaving drastically.
“Let go, baby. Let it all go for me, yeah?”
One of JJ’s hands snaked down to rub your clit in tight circles, and he watched flames ignite in your eyes at the added stimulation. The wind was knocked out of your lungs when the band deep in your core finally snapped.
“That’s fuckin’ right,” he encouraged, continuing to fuck you through your high. His was creeping up on him, and he selfishly started to go harder, faster. “‘M gonna cum. Where d’ya want it, baby? Your tits? Stomach?”
“M-My mouth. Promised you’d fuck it, remember?”
He grinned maniacally. The mere thought of fucking his cum down your throat, hearing your gags and watching more of those pretty tears stain your cheeks…nothing sounded better.
“I never break my promises with you, angel. Y’know that.” He pulled out from you, lifting you into a seated position so he could reach your mouth. You struggled to keep yourself upright, clinging onto JJ’s thighs. You looked up at him, teary-eyed with your tongue out and waiting. “Could fuckin’ cum just from the way you look right now, swear to God.”
He smacked his length against your hot tongue a few times before sliding in all the way. A shiver rippled through him in delight. “Fuckin’ hell. Where’s this mouth been all my life?”
He throbbed wildly, twitching when your tongue slithered against the thick vein of his underside. It didn’t take long for him to start thrusting into your mouth, starting off slow but speeding up as his greed skyrocketed. His hands thread through your hair, holding your head in place. Spit was pooling out around him and down your chin, countless tears were escaping from your eyes. Your hair was a mess. But you’d never looked more gorgeous.
You moaned around him, sending vibrations and little jolts through his entire body when he announced to you that he was close. You released your grip on one of his thighs, cupping and massaging his balls. He fucked deeper and deeper into your throat and soon, you watched him fall over the edge. A string of groans and curses fell from his lips, and he sounded better than anything you’d ever heard.
Your favourite song of all time was now dethroned by the pornographic sounds emitting from the gorgeous and hypnotizing man in front of you.
When he withdrew from your mouth and finally caught his breath, all he could do was beam down at you. His fingers scooped up the string of cum that clung to your lips and stuffed themselves into your mouth. You licked every last drop up and savoured it.
Savoured him.
“‘N just when I thought you couldn’t drive me any crazier.”
—
The world was different when JJ woke up.
He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and noticed the sun was shining, a nice contrast to the horrible weather from the previous night. He could hear birds chirping and the light breeze of wind flowing against the trees. But what was most different was the fact that you were curled up in his arms, smooth, bare skin pressed against his as you slept. It wasn’t like you two hadn’t cuddled before, but after last night’s escapades, the action just felt so much more intimate. He felt the smile growing on his face as the memories played in his head. He couldn’t believe he’d finally gotten to kiss you, let alone partake in any of the other activities you two did.
JJ looked down at you, his precious girl, watching your chest heave as you tried to regulate your breathing. You were glowing, your hair a little messy, but it made his heart skip a beat when he thought about how it’d gotten to that point. The ghost of a smile played on your lips while you watched him in wonder.
JJ leaned down, planting a soft kiss on your forehead and closing his eyes as he did so. “Stay here. Gonna grab a towel so I can clean you up.”
He started to move, but your smaller hand wrapped around his wrist and tugged. “Don’t go. Can you just…lay with me for a bit?”
The combination of your sulky doe eyes and still kiss-swollen, pouted lips was all too much. He could never say no to you, but at that moment? You’d never looked more vulnerable, and he just wanted to wrap you up in his arms and shield you from anything that would make you look as sad as you did right now.
“Yeah, pretty girl,” he assured you, getting situated under the covers and opening his arms wide for you. “C’mere. Not goin’ anywhere.”
You smiled with a shy nod, instantly slotting yourself into his arms and resting your head on his chest. You nuzzled your cheek against his bare skin, closing your eyes as you let his presence envelope you.
“You promise?” You asked quietly. Your eyelids grew heavy, and you felt yourself slipping out of consciousness when his fingers danced up and down your back.
“I promise,” JJ said. His head came to lean atop yours, his cheek smushed against your hair. “Couldn’t leave you if I tried, princess.”
You started to shift in his hold, a small groan escaping your lips.
“Mornin’, sunshine,” he greeted, sweeping some baby hairs away from your face. How you managed to look so effortlessly beautiful all the time was beyond him. Not that he was complaining. “You sleep okay?”
“Mhm,” you hummed, unable to stop your lips from curling upward. “You?”
“Slept great.”
You peered up at him, and he was already looking down at you. The minute your eyes met, it was just as last night when the rest of the world went quiet. It was just you and your favourite boy, stuck in a bubble where for once, everything felt right. Where you and JJ felt so happy, that nothing could put a damper on things.
Until your bedroom door swung open, revealing your mother. Once her eyes landed on a shirtless JJ beside you, steam was coming out of her ears.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
You sat up and held the sheets to your chest, keeping yourself covered up. “Mom, close the door!”
“Get up, get dressed, and get that pogue out of my house.”
“Always a pleasure, Mrs. Y/L/N.”
She glared at him and slammed the door shut. You didn’t dare to look at JJ, completely mortified and ashamed of her behaviour. JJ sat up then, watching your teeth sink into your bottom lip the way they always did when you were deep in thought or stressed out. Without a second thought, he reached over, thumbing at your lip until it broke free from your teeth.
“Stop that. Any harder ‘n you’ll bleed, babe.”
You gave him the tiniest glimpse of a smile. “Sorry.”
You got up before he could respond, wrapping one of your sheets around your body and making your way to your bedroom door so you could lock it. Behind you, JJ also got up, slipping on his clothes before walking over to where you stood.
“Hey,” he spoke, nudging your chin upward with his hooked index finger. “You okay?”
You nodded, slowly looking at him. “I’m just sorry about her.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me, alright? I don’t care about her, I just wanna make sure you’re good.”
You nodded again wordlessly. It didn’t put JJ at ease.
“I won’t go if you don’t want me to,” he told you. “Jus’ say the word ‘n I’ll stay.”
You wanted to grab him and hold onto him for dear life. He was so sweet, too sweet for his own good. He always thought of you first, put you above everything else. It was nice, having someone do that for you for a change, but you couldn’t be selfish with him. So, you shook your head, looking downward and grabbing both of his hands. Your thumbs swiped over his knuckles as you mustered up the courage to let him go, knowing it was for the better.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”
It was clear JJ didn’t believe you, but he knew better than to push you when it came to your parents. “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He stayed right where he was for a moment. He didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to leave you to deal with the wrath of your mother alone. But he remembered the promise he’d made to himself; that he’d always do what you wished of him.
He looked down at your joined hands, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach. His gaze flitted back up to yours, and he nodded hesitantly. Breaking free from your grasp, he gathered his belongings. He walked over to you again, his hand cradling your face. Tilting your head down slightly, he kissed your forehead in goodbye.
“I’ll come by ‘n see you later, alright?”
“Okay,” you said.
He nodded, letting go of you slowly and walking the few footsteps to your door. But then, he turned around, his hand pausing on the doorknob. “Y/N/N?” His chest fluttered nervously, and he took a deep breath. “There’s, uh, somethin’ I wanna tell you. Somethin’ I needa tell you.”
You watched him intently, and a sense of anticipation bubbled in your stomach. “What is it, J?”
You grasped his hand gently, and his mouth went dry. You were in such a vulnerable place with your parents showing up out of the blue, and that was not how he wanted things to be when he told you he loved you for the first time.
“Y’know what? It’s nothin’. Forget it. I’ll see you tonight.”
With that, he exited your bedroom, leaving both you and himself with heavy hearts.
—
“Well, well. Look who’s finally decent,” your mother commented when you entered the kitchen fully dressed.
You chose to ignore her comment. “What are you doing here, Mom? I thought the ferry wasn’t running.”
“We took the jet and flew to the airstrip. Honestly, Y/N, it’s a miracle you can brush your teeth in the morning.”
You held back your impending eye-roll.
“Is your little friend gone?”
“Yes, Mom. JJ’s gone.”
And you’d never needed him more.
“Good. I knew that boy made you act like a child but I never thought that you’d throw everything we’ve given you away for someone with no potential and a criminal record.”
And there it was.
Any time your parents even thought they caught a glimpse of your blonde best friend, they were quick to pick out all his ‘flaws.’ Right off the bat, even as a child, they’d never respected him due to his pogue status. As if it were his fault, like he’d chosen his life himself. As if he’d chosen to be stuck with a father who’d never shown him love a day in his life.
As if they had room to talk.
Because the truth of the matter was, everything parents were supposed to do for their children — support them, comfort them, make them believe that they could be any and everything they wanted to be — wasn’t done by your parents.
They were done by JJ.
If you hadn’t had JJ, you wouldn’t have known what unconditional love was.
He was the one who reminded you that you could conquer the world. He’d held you through lonely nights, patched up your cuts and bruises when you were clumsy, helped you study (though he didn’t even study himself), and never failed to remind you that you were adored by him.
So, when your mother dared to speak on JJ as if she had ever really tried to know him, it boiled your blood. “Where do you get off talking about him like that? He’s done more for me than you and Dad ever have.”
The fire in your tone made your mother get up from her seat at the table immediately. She downed the contents of her glass — presumably scotch — and nearly slammed the glass on the table.
“Is that so?” She scoffed. Steam practically shot out of your ears when she looked at you. “So he put you up in this house? He paid for all your foolish little dance lessons and bought you that Benz sitting in the driveway?”
“That’s not what I—”
“I don’t care what you meant. You paint us out to be the villains in your life when we’ve done nothing but support you and give you everything you’ve ever dared to wish for.”
“Support me?!Areyou delusional? When have you two ever supported me?”
Financially? Yes. Emotionally? Mentally? Likely story.
“Don’t start. I’m simply speaking the truth. Now, tomorrow night, I expect you to stop acting like a spoiled brat and drop the attitude.”
Your brows furrowed. “What’s tomorrow?”
“Last night, your father and I were at dinner with some colleagues, discussing the horrible storm and what it’s done to the southside of the island. They said they’d love to help support the people down there, and so your father came up with the brilliant idea to throw a benefit for The Cut.”
Your parents wanted to help the pogues of the island? Were you dreaming?
“It’s wonderful publicity for our company. We’ve been looking for an opportunity like this for weeks.”
Nevermind. You were wide awake.
“That being said, your father and I have informed the Huntzbergers that their son would be your date. You remember Logan, don’t you? He asked for you. I can’t fathom why, but what does it matter?”
You’d met Logan many times over the years, the two of you being dragged by your parents to banquets, dinners, golf games, and so on. He was sweet, with a good sense of humour and a very handsome face if you were being honest. You’d always had the suspicion that he liked you, but obviously, those feelings had never been reciprocated. Not when a certain blonde troublemaker had plucked your heart right out of your chest and never given it back.
A true kleptomaniac.
“Mom, I can’t be Logan’s date.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t tell me this is because of the Maybank boy.” Your silence and shifty look were enough to answer her. “Oh, honey. You don’t think that the two of you are together now, do you? He got what he wanted from you. You’ll never be anything more than an easy lay to him.”
Though the morning had been tumultuous at best, your mind hadn’t even gone there. Not once. In fact, it’d been the opposite. You weren’t foolish enough to believe that JJ would profess his undying love for you, but you certainly didn’t think he’d up and leave now that he’d been with you.
Would he?
As the thoughts consumed you, you were once again reminded that every time you’d found an ounce of happiness, your parents were always quick to rip it from your grasp and stomp on it for good measure.
“So, back to what I was saying. Please do not embarrass us. Wear something slimming.” She moved closer to you, tapping your hip. “You’re looking a little wide. Let’s hope you aren’t pregnant with the poor pogue’s child.”
Without looking back, she exited the room, leaving you alone to chew on her words in the oh-so-familiar silence.
—
JJ spent his entire shift at the auto shop convincing himself that tonight would be the night he finally fessed up. It’d always been so difficult for him; pushing his feelings for you so deep inside and ensuring that they’d never escape, but something had changed. Maybe it had been the events that had taken place the night before, or maybe it was the utter disappointment he’d felt in himself all day long after not confessing earlier on.
He hopped in his truck, swinging down to the pier so he could grab a bouquet from your favourite flower cart. He might not have been a renowned romantic, but his girl was special, and she deserved to be treated as such. Though he stayed there for a while, scratching the back of his neck with a stressed look on his face, he eventually settled on a carefully wrapped set that he thought you’d like.
A mixture of anticipation, nerves and excitement bubbled in his system. He hoped he wasn’t setting himself up for failure. But with the way you looked at him yesterday, shimmering stars in your eyes and the most gorgeous yet shy smile playing on your lips, it was hard not to let himself begin to trust the impossible.
Maybe his dreams were within his reach after all.
He let himself inside your house, skillfully sneaking past your parents (who were busy in planning mode) and making his way up to your empty room. He could hear shuffling coming from the bathroom and could see dozens of dresses littered across the floor accompanied by a few pairs of shoes. Half of him wondered if there’d been a tornado that only hit your closet.
He was aching to get a glimpse of the girl who had spent the day taking up every one of his thoughts. Seeing you and being with you felt like home. A home someone would have to pry from his cold, dead hands because he’d rather die than ever let you go.
“Y/N/N? You here?”
When you emerged from the bathroom, JJ swore the wind was knocked out of him. His eyes trailed down your elegant frame, your curves clad in a dress he hadn’t seen you in before. Your hair was natural, and you were bare-faced, but JJ believed you could walk a damn red carpet looking the way you did and capture the eyes and hearts of everyone in that room.
“Woah…” he breathed, awestruck.
“Hi.”
Your eyes were sad, and your lips were in a pout, but your tone would’ve been enough on its own to tell him that something had upset you. Reaching out for you, his warm hands found your hips and pulled you to him.
“You make sad look beautiful, princess.”
You smiled a little at his words before wrapping your arms around his torso and melting into him. “Thanks.”
He hugged you back, completely void of hesitation. He took the time to drown in your scent. It was incredibly fitting; sweet and hypnotic, just like you.
“What’s the matter?”
You shook your head. “Nothing, it’s not a big deal. I’m just being sensitive.”
“Hey,” he said, pulling away from you a little so he could look you in the eye. “It’s a big deal to me if it’s bothering you.”
God, how did he do that? He could convince you to unload everything on him with a few words and that look in his eye that made you feel as if he wanted to know every single detail running around in your mind. Pair that with the warm loving touch he was smoothing over you, calloused palms rubbing your sides up and down a few times, and your words came leaking out of you like a faucet.
“Does this dress look right on me? It’s okay, you can be honest. I just need an opinion I can trust.”
JJ felt a crack in his heart when those words left your lips. You wouldn’t even look at him, you just stared at the floor beneath your feet and smoothed out the fabric around your hips over and over as if you viewed yourself as anything less than perfection.
You were the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on. There wasn’t a single thing about you that he wasn’t crazy about.
That he didn’t dream about.
Tipping your face up by your chin and forcing your eyes on him so you could really hear what he was about to tell you, he spoke.
“Pretty girl, y’almost killed me when you walked through that door.”
“Really?”
JJ couldn’t tell if he wanted to hug you so tight that you’d end up stuck to him, or kiss the daylights out of you when he saw that spark of hope light your face up. “Really. You look perfect.”
You smiled that adorable, bashful smile, the one you always gave him when he calmed your mind and silenced your doubts.
Little did you know that he’d sell everything he owned to keep that smile there for eternity. If only you would’ve seen the lovestruck look JJ was giving you. There might as well’ve been hearts floating around his head.
However, your eyes were too busy looking at the splash of springtime colours against the white backsplash of your bedding. You felt your smile grow into a grin at the gorgeous bouquet lying there, and your eyes finally moved back onto the tall blonde in front of you.
“You got me flowers?”
“Uh, y-yeah.”
It was JJ’s turn to be bashful. He scratched his brow, trying to hide his now rosy cheeks as he turned around to grab the bouquet. He handed them to you carefully, and he could hear his heart thumping wildly as you stared down at them adoringly.
“You got me flowers.”
“It’s not a big deal. Jus’ swung by your favourite shop after work.”
Jesus, had you always made him this nervous?
You cradled the flowers in one arm, and let your free hand grab his. You tugged at it, silently telling him to come closer. You looked up at him, eyes sparkling.
“You got me flowers, J.”
The act of getting flowers was out of the ordinary for him. It seemed so…romantic. That’s not to say that he hasn’t bore his heart to you, ‘cause he had, but this…this was different.
At least, it felt different.
“Look, I jus’ thought, y’know…a girl as special as you deserves flowers.”
Oh, if you could’ve kissed him, you would’ve done so until you both ran out of oxygen. Maybe even longer. Even if it meant that you’d perish because of it.
But, you couldn’t, so you settled on pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”
“Yeah,” he breathed. Then, he cleared his throat when he realized he might’ve been staring at you too long. “So, what’s the fancy getup for?”
“Oh, right,” you spoke. “My parents decided to pimp me out tomorrow night.”
His eyes almost bulged out of his head. “I beg your finest pardon?”
You couldn’t help but laugh. Between the look on his face and his tone, he was making it impossible not to. “They’re throwing some benefit here for the Cut tomorrow night, and Logan asked for me to be his date. You remember Logan, right?”
You spun around, grabbing your empty vase off the dresser and heading back into your bathroom to fill it up. Meanwhile, JJ was stuck in place, his mind buffering.
Date? Did he hear that right?
When he came to, he was quick to follow you. “You— Wait— Huh?”
“Logan Huntzberger? I told you that story about how we snuck onto that boat once with a bottle of champagne and got busted by the owners, remember?”
“That’s not the part I’m confused about, Y/N.”
His tone was more icy than he intended, but he couldn’t help but feel something like rage boiling and brewing in his core. You didn’t seem to notice, though, and if you did, you didn’t show it. Instead, you unwrapped the bouquet cautiously and placed the flowers into the vase. You were about to pass him and the threshold back into your bedroom when his hard curled around your bicep.
“You’re goin’ on a date?”
You gave him a weird look. “He just wants to escort me to this thing tomorrow. And to be honest, there’s safety in numbers. My parents will be so focused on him that they’ll forget about me.”
His jaw clenched, and his eyes darted away from yours as he let go of you. “You coulda just asked me.”
A chuckle escaped your lips as you placed the full vase back where it belonged. “You hate kook shit like this.”
“I woulda came for you. You didn’t need to say yes to some spoiled rich kid.”
“I didn’t say yes to him. My mom and dad did,” you reminded him. You walked up to him, arms crossing your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling very open and vulnerable. “Why are you being like this? You know how they are.”
“‘M not bein’ like anythin’,” he denied. He moved away from you, grabbing his bag off your bed. “I gotta go.”
He didn’t know what he was doing. He just knew he had to get out of there before he exploded on you and ruined everything. How could you be going on a date with someone else when JJ was ready to tell you that he wanted you forever?
You grabbed his arm this time around. “Don’t do that. Don’t walk away from me. Just talk to me.”
JJ couldn’t stay. He felt sick. He felt like he wanted to strangle someone.
Okay, fine. Not just anyone.
Logan.
And maybe your dad, too.
“Have fun tomorrow, alright?”
JJ made his second escape of the day much quicker than he had with his first, practically poofing into thin air right before your eyes. You wanted to chase after him, beg him to just let you in instead of running away from you, but you knew getting him to open up wasn’t that easy. He’d have to want to come to you. So you just stood there, watching the doorframe hoping he’d come back, and growing utterly disappointed when he didn’t.
—
After the events at your home, JJ had decided to crash at John B’s. He thought being around him and the group would help take his mind off things, but all he could focus on was the void he felt without you beside him.
That night he had been even worse. He tossed and turned restlessly all night, never the one to be able to sleep without you in his presence. He needed to hear your rhythmic breathing and feel your warmth as you curled into his side in your slumber. It’s like his mind was never at rest unless he was with you.
The next day had dragged on, your date with Logan being the only thing on his mind from the minute he’d opened his eyes. He went to work, though he was clearly somewhere else mentally. He’d gotten scolded a few times, but he failed to remember why. Then, his bike broke down on the way back home, so he walked to Sarah’s house, hoping to catch a ride. He eventually made it, but was greeted by a party he had completely forgotten the group had planned.
JJ had half a mind to turn back and just go home. All he wanted to do was slump into a chair on his porch, smoke a joint and try to forget about the shittiest day he’d had in a long while. But he was far too exhausted to make that trip, and why go all the way home when he could get shitfaced instead? It’d help him forget just the same.
Right?
Wrong.
As the intoxication began to take over him, so did the thoughts of you.
Why did he walk away? Why didn’t he just open his mouth and say something?
‘I love you. I’m in love with you, and you can’t be with anyone else because you should be with me.’
That’s all he had to say.
And he blew it.
The group groaned around him when he started to rant about you and your date again. He’d been rambling on and on, causing a few people in the circle to leave so they wouldn’t have to hear yet another string of complaints fall from his lips.
“And it’s jus’ like, of course she’d ch-choose him,” he hiccupped into his red solo cup. “He’s like, rich ‘n loaded ‘n-n stacked.”
Pope rolled his eyes. “Those all mean the same thing, J.”
“Well, y’know what ‘m tryna say. He can give her everything. He could prolly buy her the planet. I could never do that.”
Sarah watched her friend wallow in his drunken sorrows, and she felt saddened for him. She had always known how much JJ loved you. She could see it in his eyes the first time she saw you two together. He’d bleed himself dry for you, and there was never any question about it.
“Okay,” she cooed, getting up from her seat and plucking his cup from his hand. “Think you’ve had enough, JJ. C’mon. Let’s get you to bed.”
JJ grumbled out a few protests, but Sarah ignored them, asking John B to help her lead JJ to one of the guest rooms. They managed to get him tucked into bed, and when his eyes fluttered shut, they figured they were okay to leave.
Unfortunately, not even a half hour later, JJ woke up. He was still way past intoxicated, but he stumbled into the kitchen in search of another bottle. He almost came up dry until he saw a bottle of whiskey less than a quarter full. He chugged down the remaining contents, and instantly made a hasty exit, his boots dragging against the pavement as he walked.
Though he was drunk, his feet led him in a familiar direction. He knew where he longed to be, where he needed to be.
He arrived at your house, clambering his way to your door and ignoring the nasty looks he’d gotten from your parents friends and colleagues. He pushed the door open, tripping over the threshold but managing to keep himself upright. He made his way through the house, and his mind quieted when his eyes finally landed on you. He was elated for all of five seconds because then he saw Logan’s hand find your waist. He pulled you closer to him, angling his head down slightly.
Absolutely-fucking-not.
“Hey! Keep your hands off my damn girl!”
Your eyes, Logan’s, and countless other partygoers’ all shot over to JJ. He was stumbling and had almost taken out one of the serves as he made his way over to you.
“J? What are you doing here?”
JJ ignored your words and your hands on his chest as he pointed an accusatory finger at your date. “Don’t you fuckin’ touch her again.”
“JJ, stop! You’re drunk!” You shout in a whisper, pushing him back a little now.
“You don’t know her. You haven’t spent your whole life loving her and making sure she had someone. You aren’t there to remind her to eat when she gets stressed, ‘c-cause she always forgets. ‘N you aren’t there when she cries, ‘n your heart doesn’t break when she does. You’re nothin’.”
More eyes were now on the three of you, and before you knew it, your parents were making their way over to you.
“Enough, Maybank. Get out of this house before I throw you out,” your father snarled.
“Dad, stop it!”
“You,” JJ said, turning his attention to your parents. “You two are the worst of ‘em all. Throwin’ this bullshit party when you’re never even here. You care about the cut? You don’t even care about your damn daughter!”
“JJ, enough! Let’s go!” You pleaded, trying to pull him.
He freed his arm from your grasp. “No, Y/N/N, everyone needs to hear this. They need to know they’re supportin’ two people who think it’s fun to body shame their daughter and remind her time and time again that they couldn’t care less about her. They didn’t even go to your graduation, Y/N/N. You worked your ass off, ‘n they couldn’t even be bothered to send you a damn card! Never mind the last five birthdays of yours that they missed. They’re pieces of shit, ‘n all their friends should know it!”
“You’re lucky I don’t call the cops!”
“Go ‘head. Call ‘em. Call ‘em ‘n tell ‘em that you’re arresting me for defending your daughter.”
“That’s it,” you mumbled to yourself. You grabbed JJ, pulling him hard this time. “Come with me, now.”
JJ’s voice got quieter the further away you dragged him, but it was clear enough. “‘M not done with you, Y/F/N!”
Luckily, Logan had come to your aid, helping you haul JJ up the stairs. It wasn’t an easy feat, as JJ had been swatting him away the entire way up. The two of you finally got him into your room, and you told Logan to rejoin the party. JJ sunk into your bed, and you tucked him under the sheets before handing him a water bottle. He pouted, not wanting to drink it, but relented when he saw the look on your face.
“Are you mad?”
You ignored his words, continuing to help him get settled. You were trying hard to bite your tongue because you knew that even if you scolded him, he most likely wouldn’t remember a single thing you said. That, and you could tell he was hurting. That’s the only reason he would’ve gotten this drunk.
“Uh oh. You’re mad. ‘M soo in trouble.”
“Tomorrow, JJ. Go to sleep.”
His big blue eyes sulked at you, though they were a tad hazy, and he latched onto your hand after you smoothed some hair from his eyes. “‘M sorry. ‘M just sad.”
You closed your eyes, letting out a deep breath. “It’s okay, J. Now sleep.”
He tapped his right cheek, silently asking you for a kiss there. You did as he requested, unable to refuse him, but not without an eye roll. Then he repeated his taps on his other cheek. You kissed him there too. The cycle continued with his forehead, and then his nose. When you were done, he tried his luck, tapping his puckered lips.
To that, you laughed softly. “Nice try, Maybank.”
—
If you could pay someone to pluck the memories of the previous night from your brain, you’d fork over all the cash you could muster. JJ’s behaviour, your embarrassment, apologizing to Logan profusely….
Yeah.
You’d erase all of it.
Mad and anxious as you were, though, you couldn’t stop thinking about how your ‘date’ had only made things more abundantly clear; you would forever be in love with JJ.
All night long, you knew Logan was trying to charm you. He was the perfect gentleman. He helped you down the stairs in your heels, guided you through the crowd, and got your drinks for you. Talked to you about your interests and actually, genuinely cared about what you had to say. But with every touch of his, all you could feel was the ghost of JJ’s and the trails of fire he’d left behind every time his skin brushed against yours. Could smell his familiar scent of weed, sea salt and some high-end cologne he’d snatched from a party on Figure 8, in place of the cologne that Logan had spritzed on himself. And when Logan tried to kiss you, you couldn’t even think about it. Because the truth was, you knew it would never compare to the sliver of heaven you’d ascended to when JJ’s mouth was on yours.
Your mind moved over to the boy you’d tucked into your bed last night, and a pang of worry hit you. Yes, you were still mad, at least partly, but you couldn’t focus on that. All you could focus on was your concern for him.
What was he battling? And why did he feel as if he couldn’t approach you about it? Didn’t he know by now that you’d stand by him through anything?
Didn’t he know by now that he wasn’t alone?
A loud clang in the kitchen caught your attention, and you decided to head down to investigate. You were also in desperate need of a cup of coffee.
You hadn’t expected to find JJ moving around your kitchen less-than-expertly during what would probably go down as the worst hangover known to man, but the sight that greeted you was nothing but endearing.
There he was, your best friend, surrounded by a chaotic array of ingredients and bowls and utensils. Flour dusted the tips of his blonde (now white) strands, there was a smear of what you assumed was batter across the apple of his cheek, and his clothes looked even worse off than his face.
Still, his tongue was poked out adorably while he concentrated on the soon-to-be-cooked ingredients in front of him.
“J?” You chuckled softly, unable to suppress your smile at the sight before you.
JJ’s eyes flit up to yours abruptly, a worried and panicked look spreading across his face. You could see the dark circles, and his voice was slightly hoarse when he spoke.
“Shit! You’re supposed to be in bed!” He rushed over to you, hands finding your shoulders with ease and trying to urge you to spin back around. “You gotta go back up.”
Your amusement was clear on your face as you looked around at the mess. “I don’t think that’s wise, J.”
JJ scratched the back of his neck, huffing frustratedly. His eyes weren’t as bright as usual, noticeably clouded by shame. “I jus’ wanted to apologize for last night. I thought makin’ breakfast would maybe help me get back on your good side.”
Your heart softened at his sincerity, your annoyance from the previous night now dissipating at his intentions. “You’re always on my good side. I just wish you’d talk to me about what’s going on instead of completely dodging me and getting blackout drunk just ‘cause you’re avoiding things.”
You’d always known him so well. Most times, you knew him better than himself. That being said, JJ should’ve known that you’d figure him out the minute he showed up at your house. He messed up terribly. He knew he embarrassed you, he knew he might’ve ruined the party and angered your parents beyond belief. But right now, he knew that even after all those things, they’d never stop you from worrying for him and making sure he was good on all fronts.
He definitely didn’t deserve you, but at that moment, he decided; he was going to keep you anyway.
“You’re way too good for me.” JJ’s flour-dusted hand cupped your cheek, and he looked down at you with all the love he could muster up, and then some. “You’re way too good for me, and I fell in love with you anyway.”
Your heart skipped a beat as his words hung in the air, and you blinked, momentarily taken aback by the confession you’d spent nearly your entire life yearning for, yet never expected to hear.
“You’re…you’re in love with me?” You repeated, your voice barely above a whisper. Your eyes searched his, and now, they were as clear and sincere as ever.
JJ nodded earnestly. “After that night, when I showed up with those flowers…I was gonna tell you. ‘N then you told me about your date with Logan ‘n I jus’ freaked ‘cause I could feel myself losin’ you to this, like, superior guy who could give you everythin’ I couldn’t.”
“J…” you trailed off sadly in a whisper.
“It’s always been us, y’know? Two peas in a shitty-parents-pod. But even on my worst days with Luke…it never mattered, ‘cause I had you. ‘N when I thought about you leavin’ me…Y/N/N, I couldn’t even stomach it. Then I kinda went off the deep end.”
You grabbed his hands with urgency. “I could never leave you, J. Never.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you confirmed with a soft voice. “I love you too much.”
JJ’s gaze searched yours, his eyes mixed with hope and trepidation. “For real?”
“Yes, for real, dummy. I love you. I’ve always loved you.” A smile tugged at the corners of your lips, and your heart pounded in your chest at your confession. But this time, it wasn’t with nerves or fear, it was one hundred percent, wholeheartedly with love.
“So, does that mean I can finally kiss you again?”
Even at his most vulnerable, this cheeky boy could still whip out a boyish smirk on command. This only prompted you to toy with him a little, just to get back at him.
“And what makes you think I’m gonna kiss you, Maybank?”
His hands surged toward your hips, and he pulled you impossibly closer while licking his lips. “I know you, remember? ‘N after the other night, I know what you look like when you want to.”
Damn, he was good.
Your arms looped around the back of his neck, and you threw him a daring look. “So do it.”
He didn’t have to be told twice. His lips found yours, and you stood there for some time, just drowning each other without anything holding you back this time. Things couldn’t have been more perfect.
He couldn’t have been more perfect.
Just like that, the two of you were home. And you’d never dare to leave.
© MOREMAYBANK, 2024
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On how much Aziraphale has learned since season one:
This is about character development. Inside of a story, everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's meant to tell you something, to teach you or the character of your story, something.
So if the story continues and your character repeats the same mistakes again you know that they are bound to be doomed this time, and even worse the audience is going to certainly lose respect for them, cause they have made the same mistake twice, they haven't learned anything, they're gonna do it again another time, they don't deserve a happy ending. (yes I'm talking about good omens here) So you don't do that to a character that matters to you and you respect even the tiniest bit.
A Lot of us here are thinking that this is what has happened to Aziraphale's character at the end of season two, that he has done it again, repeated the same mistake again and has left Crowley to join heaven and it's been because of reasons like wanting to change Crowley (not true, see this post), still believing in heaven's goodness (not true at all), not being on the same page with Crowley (I'm gonna talk about this one especially in this post) and such likes. But these are the things he should've known better about after 6000 years and all the events that we've learnt about especially throughout season two. (It seems to be rather the whole point doesn't it?)
But we all seem to rather believe that he's made that mistake again nonetheless. so what we're doing here is trying to find reasons to justify the mistake and somehow make the reason behind the wrong actions something relatable to ourselves so we can forgive him when the time comes.
In fact I don't believe that he's made a mistake. for Aziraphale's character to be redeemable, what he has done, must be the only option that he's had for saving them both. I don't care what kind of situation could have resulted in him making this decision, but the only reason, the one and only reason, must be his love for Crowley. Otherwise it'll prove that he hasn't learnt his lessons or doesn't love Crowley enough to make a compromise, and in both cases, he's not worthy of love. He won't earn his happy ending by being tortured and feeling sorry and doing the apology dance for Crowley if he's hurt Crowley out of selfishness and stupidity again
But I'm sure he'll earn his happy ending and I'm sure he's learnt his lessons and it's too late for him to have unlearned them all in a matter of a few seconds. (He is an idiot but he's not stupid) and it's mostly because of this, that I believe the reason why he made that decision, must be very different from what it appears to be on the surface.
Anyway, this post is about what Aziraphale has learned and how he's changed.
I have made a post about their moments of conflict from both season one and two, it's here and you can look it up. This is where you begin to understand how Aziraphale has changed since season one because these are his dialogues after he's had a fight with Crowley in the bandstand, season one:
"even if I did know where the antichrist was I wouldn't tell you we're on opposite sides"
"friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you"
"there is no our side Crowley. Not anymore. It's over"
And then there's season two, when they disagree on what to do with Gabriel, Aziraphale is the one to point out that they both rely on the life they've built together
He's asking him to help him take care of Gabriel together and in response Crowley leaves
In the final scene he asks Crowley to come back to heaven
"work with me" "We can be together as Angels, Doing good" "I need you."
He says anything he can think of literally to convince him to stay with him and it doesn't work
We start from "we're not friends" and arrive at "work with me. we can be together"
Even if we don't know the reason why he's insisting on taking Crowley back to heaven with him, this is an Angel that has picked up the pace. That wants them to be an us. No matter what.
But these are only a few dialogues. I think there's more than that. I think the show in five and a half episodes (out of six) has tried its hardest to make the point quite clear about how Aziraphale feels about Crowley (or how strongly he feels those emotions). all through the way he looks at him and through his gestures and soft touches from time to time
I'm gonna make another post of those moments separately and I'm gonna link it to this when I do.
update: (here's the post. not just average moments of Aziraphale looking cute, it's something about the way he looks at him)
And I'd like to even compare those wishful glances to some of those from season one, but I can't, cause they are nonexistent in there.
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Electrifying
Vox x Fem!Reader
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
=_MINORS DNI_=
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
Request: Hey! I was wondering if you could do a Vox x feedreader, where he’s in his room with all those TVs, doing his broadcast or something? And the reader comes in and gives him a BJ (smut pls)
I changed some things. I hope it's okay. Enjoy you, sinners. ;)
When you were alive, you weren't particularly religious; that's not to say you didn't believe in the concept of heaven or hell, just that you didn't care where you ended up. Your family was religious and cared more about scaring the word of the lord into you than your personal beliefs. In your head, you assumed that it was your anti-religious beliefs that would earn you a one-way ticket to hell. You didn't expect the reason to actually be the fact that you hacked yourself into a secret government database and ended up in prison, only to die in a prison riot that you played a part in.
You become a number one target when you can hack the guard's security cameras.
Long story short, you died and woke up in hell. Then you hacked your way into working for one of the most powerful Overlords in hell, specifically by glitching out every one of his broadcasts until he noticed you.
Vox was going to kill you when he found out you were the one fucking up his tech, but you managed to convince him that combining your skills would serve him much better than slaughtering you and wasting your talent. He put your skills to good use; Vox could finally take breaks from constantly patrolling the cameras around Pentagram City and focus much more on improving his already well-renowned tech. It took a lot of sucking up and managing to break into some of whatever radio shops that were left in the city and breaking all the old-timey tech that things finally shifted between your relationship with the Overlord. Destroying those radios caused you to immediately jump on the Radio Demon's shit list, which as a normal Sinner was not ideal.
However, it jumped you up immensely on Vox's Employee of the Month board. In fact, you were almost sure you were his favorite employee ever.
He finally trusted you enough to show you the central hub where he ran his broadcasts, and you moved from ordinary everyday Sinner under contract to Vox's right-hand woman...who was...still under contract...semantics.
From that moment on, you were constantly by his side throughout every single one of his broadcasts. While Velvette might be the backbone of the Vees, you were Vox's hype woman, keeping him out of trouble while encouraging his most chaotic ideas. That's how the two of you remained for a consistent seven years until the Radio Demon hijacked Vox's broadcasts, showing all of Hell he's made his triumphant return.
"I can't fucking believe this, I've spent years building my empire, YEARS, and he thinks he can just take it from me like that? Does he even know who I am?" You watched your boss prepare for his late-night broadcast session, flipping switches and plugging wires into his head while ranting about that deer-faced fuck
"He's not worth it, Sir," You speak softly and notice his shoulders relax at your tender tone. "You've been running Pentagram City for years. At this point, your viewers aren't just going to turn you away for a guy who sounds like he swallowed a microphone instead of a dick." Vox snorted with delighted laughter as he sat down in his studio chair. His claws drumming on his metal table pinging around the studio, you stepped closer and noticed he was still trailing Aslastor's every movement on camera. "May I speak freely?"
He thought briefly before turning his screen to face you, "Well, spit it out then."
"Your 'hatred' for Alastor is boarding on obsessive; it's creepy and- don't give me that look." You huffed, crossing your arms, "You permitted me. Plus, you haven't even heard my suggestion yet."
"And why exactly would I let you suggest anything after your attitude?"
"It'll help you relax," your hands spread across his shoulder pads down his chest, and you could hear his processors running a little louder in embarrassment. "I have lived to serve you since the day you hired me. Let me help you." You purred softly next to his screen, nuzzling against the cool metal; you saw how his claws dug into the table before him, creating claw marks.
"I suppose if you're offering." He leaned back in his chair, wires still connected to the back of his screen; you hummed, moving in front of him. Subtly, very subtly, you pressed the start broadcast button with your fingers. He watched with spiraling eyes as you kissed the side of his screen before kneeling between his legs. You saw sparks of embarrassment erupt from his screen, "wait, what relaxation are we talking about here- fuck!" He cursed, voice glitching in a way he usually used to command attention from his viewers and Val. Your hands gently trailed over his belt buckle as you leaned against his thigh,
"Not yet," You teased softly, "Maybe if you're good." You whisper with a wink, kissing his inner thigh, "Don't you wanna relax?"
"Yes." He commanded you hurriedly before composing himself, "Be a good girl for me, baby. Help me relax."
"Yes, sir." You hummed, unbuckling his belt, and with a click of his metal clasp, his belt was pulled from his pants. You felt cold claws trace your cheek as you looked back up at him through your extended lashes. His screen was glowing a mesmerizing purple hue; he looked briefly awkward,
"Vox, say my name."
"Yes, Vox." You licked your lip, rubbing your thighs together; your fingers pulled and tugged at his pants in a way of asking permission. He gave a single head nod as his slacks were pulled down to his ankles. You heard him suck in through his teeth as you landed forward towards his boxers, admiring the significant hardness in his pants. "Look at you; you're so big already..." You felt drool pooling in your mouth, and he made another strangled electronic sound. "I can't wait to feel you in my mouth." He seemed to gather some confidence back as he gripped your hair, causing you to whine,
"If you're so eager. Then suck." His eyes flashed a plethora of pretty colors, and you felt your willpower drop, hypnosis, your heart skipped a beat as your underwear flooded with your slick. He grinned wickedly as your mouth opened wide, tongue lolling out of your mouth as you took him out of his underwear. His dick was unlike anything you've ever seen. It was long and curved, sticking straight into the air, showing his eagerness for your mouth; blue and red wire-like veins seemed to pulse with need. You leaned forward, nipping gently at his now bare thighs as he hissed in through his teeth before swallowing his length in your mouth. Vox groaned, a static sound; as soon as your hot mouth swallowed him, sparks from the monitors singed your skin. You smiled, knowing that his sounds and your actions were being broadcast for all of hell to see and hear, and he was none the wiser.
You felt his claws dig into your hair, pulling you forward, forcing you to take him deeper down your throat. You groaned around him and began to suck as deep as you could take him down your throat. "Fuck baby, fuck." He hissed as you looked up at him through half-lidded lashes, opening your mouth wider and running your tongue on the wire veins underneath his dick. He shuddered and choked back a moan as you pulled back. You began to kitten lick along the sensitive tip, swallowing the blue precum that was forming at the slit. He shuddered, the screen glitching a few times as it flashed different frames and colors. "Don't stop now; you're just getting better." He grinned crookedly, petting your hair like a pet; you gave him a look. He snickered, urging you forward back onto his dick,
"I'm going to make you cum so hard, your blue screen." You purred, licking your lips, gathering spit in your mouth before taking him as deep as your throat would allow. He was heavy in your mouth and throat, filling it even though he wasn't thick. His tip hit the back of your throat as you choked around him. He moaned heatedly, eyes squeezing shut as he jolted as you suctioned your lips around him. He was close, and you could tell his hips began to twitch as he attempted to fuck your throat. You took that as a sign to place your hand on his balls, squeezing them and caressing them through your hands; you were rewarded with an even louder moan and a shout of your name. "That's it, baby, I'm so close, harder. fuck you're such a good girl." That seemed to do it as you moaned around his cock, the vibrations sending shockwaves through him as he shot his load down your throat, which you swallowed eagerly.
He tasted like you swallowed a packet of blue raspberry pop rocks.
You pulled off of him, licking your lips, and noticed his entire body was slack, face completely blue, sparks shooting out the back of his head. You giggled, turning to the screens and seeing yourself on camera; you hummed, hiking up your skirt and giving a little bow to the audience before ending the broadcast. You and Vox's phones were blaring with messages nonstop; you picked up Vox's while he was rebooting. You opened it quickly, remembering his passcode from when he told you to monitor Val's activities with the tracker he placed on the Moth. There were notifications from social media and Vox tech itself, which you promptly swiped away so Vox couldn't see them immediately when he rebooted. About a hundred texts from Velvette and Valentino in the Vees shared group chat.
Velvette was screaming about all the social media images she'd have to wipe to protect Vox's image and how much of an idiot he was for not double-checking that he wasn't on air. While Val was giving a rating while sending a play-by-play and ranking your technique, begging Vox to let him use you in his next shoot.
You giggled, leaning down to snap a picture of you with a still rebooting Vox and sending it to the other Vees before throwing the phone away.
If things go well, he'll fuck you on air next; worst case scenario, you'll double die, known as one of the best dick suckers in hell, probably only second to Angeldust.
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can i dance with your s/o?
how the blue lock boys react when someone asks to dance with you.
pairings: itoshi rin, itoshi sae, reo mikage x fem!reader (separate) | warnings: jealousy, slight possessiveness, overall fluff, teeny bit suggestive on sae's
notes: hi guys! i wasn't planing on posting anything since i haven't been able to write (studying for the bar and all), but since i reached 300 followers, i thought maybe i could post this lil thing that was in my drafts for a long time lol it's quite different from what i usually do but i hope y'all like it! and tysm for 300!! <3
Itoshi Rin
the lights of the room flickered around the sparkles in your long dress and practically made you glow. the piece of clothing was beautiful — an italian design rin bought for you specially for that night, where you would accompany him to a charity event. there were hundreds of football players like him in the venue, but rin’s sight could only focus on you.
a song was playing softly in the background, and he admired you from afar, sitting in the bar along with some of his teammates while you chatted with their girlfriends, who became your friends pretty quickly. that was just how you were, always easy going and approachable, very unlike him. it was easy to be drawn to you like you were the sun, and rin was more than happy to be in your orbit.
then, the song changed to a slow paced tune, and he saw your beautiful eyes turn to him and sparkle just as much as your dress — if not more. the girls you were chatting with came towards their respective boyfriends, but you remained there, just staring, as if knowing it was a lost cause.
itoshi rin didn’t like to dance.
and while he was distracted by your orbs, someone decided to talk.
“can i dance with your girlfriend?”
the voice sent chills down his spine, and rin turned to the owner with a harsh glare, scrutinizing the image of none other than itoshi sae. they still had a pretty fucked up relationship, even after rin went pro, and he was not happy to hear what he just heard.
“what the fuck did you say?” his tone came out slowly, a veiled threat.
sae didn’t even blink. “i asked to dance with your girlfriend. you are certainly not doing it, and since i didn’t come with anyone, it would be rude to leave her there. haven’t you learned shit, rin?”
a vein nearly popped in his forehead. it was already bad enough to hear the condescending tone in sae’s voice, but implying he could take better care of you than him? no, that wouldn’t do.
“fuck off, you shitty brother. don’t come near her.”
he stormed off to the dance floor, leaving his shitty brother and his knowing smirk behind, immediately going to your figure. he could tell you were confused, but gave you no time to ask, taking your soft hand in his and dragging you to where the other couples were dancing.
both of his hands found home in your waist, just like he always found home in you. your arms laced his neck by pure reflex, considering you were still very much confused with your boyfriend’s attitude.
“what happened?”
rin played dumb. “hm? what do you mean? i’m just dancing with my girlfriend.” he shrugged like it was no big deal.
it really wasn’t. not when you smiled at him like that.
sure, itoshi rin didn’t like to dance. but he loved you, and if dancing would make you happy and keep you away from his shitty brother, he would do it in a heartbeat.
Itoshi Sae
parties were not really sae’s thing. he wasn’t one to socialize with his teammates, and he didn’t feel the need to talk to sponsors or to the media, considering he had a manager to do that. so how he got caught up in one was a true mystery.
sure, playing for the U-20 national team could be a big deal for a lot of people, but not for sae. he hated japan and all its weak players, and the only reason he agreed to play in the first place was to see project Blue Lock firsthand. he definitely did not sign for a party.
though he supposed he could endure it if you were there.
the dance floor was crowded, and a pop hit was blasting through the speakers. you were with sae on the bar just a minute ago, but your already tipsy self exclaimed to love this song and the need to dance it, so that’s what you were doing. and fuck, what a sight you were.
your skimpy dress hugged your body in all the right places, marking the curve of your ass. every time you moved in sync with the beat, swaying your hips, he could feel his breath hitch in his throat, always eager for what was under the fabric. you were breathtaking, and his.
“hey, genius boy!”
sae grunted when his eyes were forced to leave your frame, and he was not pleased to find oliver aiku by his side, portraying his signature toothy grin. his only acknowledgement was a hum, hoping oliver would take a hint and leave him the fuck alone.
“nice night, huh?”
sae sighed. apparently, he can’t take a hint.
“sure,” was all he said, turning his eyes back to you. you were still having fun by dancing like there was no tomorrow, and for a moment, sae wanted to smile from the way you were so carefree. he didn’t, though. but maybe something in his stoic demeanor cracked by looking at you, because the guy next to him spoke up.
“whatcha looking at?” oliver followed his sight before sae could fool him, and he felt anger rising when spotting a glimpse of desire in the heterochromatic eyes of his teammate. “oh, wow. what a babe.”
sae narrowed his eyes with an impossibly harsh glare that could make anyone cower. oliver didn’t. “she’s my girlfriend, so back the fuck off.”
“oh! can i dance with your girlfriend? she seems lonely.” the player smirked, seemingly enjoying to tease sae.
“look,” the older itoshi started, unamused. “you should probably know by now that i don’t tolerate bullshit. especially when it comes to her.”
oliver cocked his brow. sae continued, “so if you wanna have a slight chance to win against Blue Lock and not lose your shitty spot in the U-20 team, don’t fucking test me.”
finally, the player raised his hands in surrender, leaving without saying another word. chugging down the rest of his drink, sae made his way towards you, gluing his body behind yours and securing you close with a hand on your waist.
“hey, baby,” he mumbled in your ear. “wanna get out of here?”
Mikage Reo
being the heir of a billionaire corporation was no easy task. although there were some good parts in it, such as the money to do whatever one pleased, reo mostly dreaded everything related to his position. of course, this included the galas thrown by his family.
these galas were always full of snobby CEO’s and their heirs, trying to secure their spot in the light by arranging a marriage with the Mikage’s son. this part, at least, was solved when reo finally got married to you, and of course enduring hours of these boring parties became a hundred times better with you by his side.
however, he couldn’t say he was exactly pleased with the way all eyes were on you every time you put on some high couture outfit. you were stunning — reo knew that much, and he always boasted to anyone who could hear about it —, but he couldn’t help the spark of possessiveness that always ignited inside his chest whenever someone else stated this fact.
such as the old man talking to him.
“your wife is truly beautiful, mikage. a hidden gem.”
reo could feel his anger rising, jealousy and overprotectiveness becoming one. but he remained calm on the outside, a smiley façade that could effortlessly fool those around him. he couldn’t be rude, considering this geezer was one of the main investors of the mikage corporation.
“indeed, she is,” he answered through his teeth. the man didn’t seem to notice his gleaming eyes that could very much be homicidal.
“how long have you been married again?”
“two years.” he took a sip of the champagne glass in his hands. the liquid went down his throat with a burning sensation that made him momentarily forget about the searing rage in the pit of his stomach.
“oh, to be young again. i wish i could go back and enjoy my youth a little more,” the investor laughed, and reo had to force himself to do the same. his eyes, however, didn’t leave your frame.
you were graciously talking with three women of high society, distributing kind smiles as if they weren’t as precious as the diamonds in your neck, if not more. reo was well aware that none of the people on that gala deserved the goodness of your heart, but you couldn’t help but be sympathetic towards everyone. maybe that was why you were so adored. he knew for certain it was one of the reasons he loved you so much.
“do you mind if i dance one song with her?”
fuck. that man was still there.
“sure,” albeit hesitantly, reo agreed with a forced smile, watching as the investor walked up to you and bowed to ask for a dance. with your usual gentleness, you agreed, taking his hand and going to the middle of the ballroom for a waltz. the mikage could only watch your ethereal form glowing under the candelabrum, eyes softening with the way you were so carefree.
he was glad to have your purity in such a corrupted world.
when the song ended, reo wasted no time in coming to you and taking your hand from the man with a gentlemanly gesture that made you smile. you bid farewell to the investor with a small courtesy, your hand finding your husband’s easily.
“hey, beautiful.”
“hey, handsome,” you whispered, eyes sparkling. “you were totally holding yourself back, weren’t you?”
you both laughed at the way you could read him so easily. though reo didn’t mind.
“hell, yes. i was dying to drag you back to my arms.”
it was where you belonged, anyway.
© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.
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alanna kennedy, “I always preferred macca anyway”, tillies night out at a bar
competitive streak II a.kennedy
"everyone is going to give us shit for being late!" your girlfriend groaned in annoyance, checking her watch for the tenth time as the uber zoomed through the streets of manchester.
"lani are we talking about the same girls? the girls who are late for movie nights when we're all in the same hotel?" you laughed in amusement, squeezing her leg reassuringly.
"we wouldn't be late if you hadn't taken a hundred hours to try on every single piece of clothing you own." alanna grunted with a huff, thumbs flying against her phone screen.
when she felt your eyes burn into her head she looked up and met your unimpressed glare. "i mean but you look just so gorgeous that its worth it babe. so so gorgeous!" alanna attempted to fix things, smiling charmingly as you only hummed.
"mm thats what i thought you said." you warned as she grinned and kissed your cheek a few times, the uber nearing the restaurant you were meeting a handful of your national teammates at.
by some scheduling miracle a large group of them were all down in manchester with games this weekend allowing for the impromptu meet up. "el is jealous." you chuckled showing your girlfriend the annoyed selfie from your best friend who was living and playing in france.
"film this." alanna tapped your knee as you chuckled but clicked record. "serves you right for living in france carpenter, fuck you and i hope the fomo eats you up!" alanna flipped off the camera as you laughed and ended it, sending the snapchat to the blonde and tucking your phone back in your bag as you arrived.
"thanks mate." your girlfriend smiled appreciatively, sliding out of the car first before holding the door open and a hand out to help you up which you took.
"i've changed my mind, looking drop dead gorgeous or not if they give us shit for being late i will be throwing you under the bus."
~
"alright, pair up and lets get a tourney going!" sam clapped her hands together eagerly as you all hovered by one of the pool tables in the sports bar you'd all moved onto after dinner, losing a few of the girls to their beds along the way there was only six of you still standing.
"not a chance babe!" your girlfriend laughed grabbing caitlins arm as you tried to pair up with her and made a face of shock. "lani!" you huffed in offence as the blonde shook her head firmly.
"i'd just like to win baby, nothing personal." the taller girl winked as you sent her a scowl and someone else drew you into their side. "such a shame you won't be winning then. i'll be taking your girl and the trophy!" mackenzie grinned with her arm slung over your shoulder.
"with her hand eye coordination skills? you can have her." alanna dismissed with a shrug as your mouth formed a small o of shock and even caitlin winced at her best friends words. "you've never even seen me play kennedy." you reminded with a roll of your eyes.
"nah but i do live with you babe, and theres a reason i'm on an undefeated streak at game night. so get ready to lose!" the blonde smirked cockily as you scoffed again.
"hope you're hungry lanz, cause you'll be eating your words soon!" macca swooped in with a grin, guiding you away as you sent your girlfriend a mean glare over your shoulder.
"hope your couch is comfortable tonight lani." cait sighed and patted the taller girls back who rolled her eyes and pushed her away, sam and steph teaming up to play against the two of them for the first game.
you watched on with a silently smug smile at the range of shocked expressions which rocked your girlfriends features as you proved your worth, mackenzie grinning with delight as the pair of you won game after game.
"no way! you bumped the fucking table." alanna scowled as you sunk two balls in one shot, blowing on the top of your cue like a smoking gun before lining up and sinking another ball.
"just call it now! you and cait haven't won a single game lani." sam laughed, she and steph having beat them but no one was yet to beat you and mackenzie.
"nah fuck this, they're cheating somehow!" the blonde huffed dropping her stick onto the table as you sunk a further two balls, winning the game, and storming off to the bar.
"good news! you don't need to get me a birthday present this year, because the look on her face just then...priceless." mackenzie kissed the tips of her fingers as you laughed and pushed her lightly.
"better go do some damage control, hey cait take my place. you might even win a game!" you teased as your friend smacked you lightly and took the cue in your hands, sam setting up the balls for a new game.
it took a few minutes but you eventually located the defender who was leaning against the balcony of the empty smokers area, scowling out into the chilly night air making you smile.
"so is this where the losers hang out then?" you teased appearing beside her as she rolled her eyes and refused to look at you, crossing her arms a little tighter with a huff.
"you know if you'd have just paired up with me like i wanted, you'd have avoided all this horrid horrid humiliation." you knocked your shoulder into her, looking up at her with an amused smile as she groaned.
"don't remind me, should have known cait would be fucking useless." your girlfriend grumbled, flicking you a frown and huffing again before her eyes returned to the skyline. "i'm sure she's thinking the same babe, you sunk what maybe...two balls? and they weren't even for your team." you laughed as alanna groaned again.
"go gloat somewhere else, cockiness doesn't suit you."
"well are you going to be this pouty and moody all night? because i think i deserve a reward for playing so well." your tone shifted as the defenders eyes snapped toward you, seeing the familiar smile tugging at your lips.
"you just want to ditch them?" she questioned a little in surprise as your own eyebrow raised at the unexpected reaction of her not jumping at the opportunity like she normally would.
"no its fine, we can just go back inside and play a few more rounds. i mean i always preferred macca anyway." you smirked as you started to back up toward the door and her face hardened.
you grinned in victory as she surged toward you, taking your hand and practically dragging you toward the exit, calling out a goodbye over her shoulder and ignoring the shouts of protest from your friends in the distance.
"alanna!" you laughed as the blonde called an uber and promptly shoved you against the wall outside the bar, looming over you with a wolfish grin, leaning down so her lips ghosted you and ignoring the ping of her phone that the uber had arrived.
"think i've got a better idea of what i'd like a few rounds of tonight babe."
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A Pleasant Surprise
masterlist
Summary: Hotch starts noticing things about you; You've been eating more, gaining a little weight, craving more attention, and sleeping more. He just assumes it's nothing to worry about until he realizes the real reason why you've been changing.
Pairings: Aaron Hotchner x pregnant!reader
Word Count: 1.1k
Contains: fluff, mentions of pregnancy symptoms, established relationship, mentions of body insecurity, no use of y/n, hotch's pov
A/N: Hotch's toothy smile gets me every mf time!
There was something off about you. Hotch had known it for weeks but couldn't put his finger on it. You seemed to be eating more than you typically would; in fact, you gained weight at your last doctor's appointment. Hotch would remember cause you came back from the doctor's office pouting and asking him if you "looked fat." Hotch immediately ran to your side to comfort you, telling you how beautiful you are. Five pounds heavier or not, you will always be beautiful to him. After that, Hotch made sure to keep a closer eye on you. He noticed you changing more and more every day.
Typically, you'd only get around seven hours of sleep if you were lucky, but now you sleep around nine hours a day. You were also more mushy than normal. You never really liked physical touch, and Hotch understood why, as he, too, was not a big fan of touch either, but lately, you have been craving his touch. During the day, you would sit close to him at the round table and on the plane, reach for his hand whenever it was empty, and play with his fingers. At night, you would crawl into bed as soon as possible and rush to his side to cuddle. Hotch loved this new side of you. He loved the attention and love you gave him every day, but he couldn't help but wonder why.
One day after work, it finally hit him.
You both had finally gotten home from work. Jack was already asleep in his room, and it was almost time for you and Hotch to sleep. After exiting Jack's room, Hotch could see you in the kitchen. The lights were dim, but he saw you grabbing a tub of ice cream from the freezer. You grabbed a bowl and scooped three decent-sized scoops of vanilla ice cream before putting the tub in the freezer. You then grabbed some cookies from the pantry, breaking pieces off into your bowl of ice cream. Hotch continued to watch you from afar, analyzing your every move, trying to pinpoint the cause of this new behavior. He came up blank.
You moved the ice cream into your room, sat on the bed under the covers, and began to feast on your late-night treat. Hotch followed you in curiosity before asking, "Ice cream and cookies? I'm surprised you have the energy." You shrugged in response, ignoring Hotch's comment. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything, he thought to himself as he walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Mid brush, he could hear the sound of the TV on. The noise made him drift off into thought. He listed out everything that has changed in you and began compiling a list of possible causes. Stress? Nope, it can't be that since your lives are always stressful, and they haven't been more or less stressful in the past few weeks. Could it be your depression? Hotch doubted it. You have been taking your medication regularly, never missing a dose, and you wouldn't crave attention in a depressive state. Maybe it's biological, not mental. Were you sick? You weren't coughing, wheezing, or sneezing. Then it slowly started to hit him.
Hotch spits out the toothpaste when he begins to get flashbacks to when Haley was pregnant with Jack. He remembers the morning sickness, the increase in appetite, the need for him to be around 24/7, and the pain. He wiped his mouth on a towel nearby, not really much attention to what he was doing. Could you be? Nope. You were taking birth control, and you guys haven't really been sexually active lately. The last time you had sex was before all this change.
Hotch looked over at you from inside the bathroom. You were in the same position as before, eating your ice cream while watching what appeared to be some crime show. Funny how you go from working on crime cases to watching crime cases unfold on the big screen. He returned to his nighttime routine, moving into the bedroom to grab pajamas. He could tell that you were watching his every move out of the corner of his eye. He chucked to himself before going back into the bathroom to change. While changing, his mind returned back to your predicament. He couldn't help but return to the pregnancy theory as he secretly hoped it was true. You weren't in any type of pain, though, and no morning sickness. That is when he remembered overhearing you talk about your mom's love for being pregnant.
"I swear if my mom didn't have her tubes tied, she would love nothing more than to be pregnant again. All she did was walk around naked eating chocolate," you said while sitting at your desk.
Derek and Emily looked a bit terrified, but Spencer didn't. In fact, Spencer went on a rant about how DNA can affect a pregnancy and how everyone can have an array of symptoms. "It's quite common for people to experience pregnancy differently. In fact, research has shown that genetics can factor into nausea experienced during pregnancy. So, based on that, you'll probably have a smooth pregnancy like your mom," Spencer informed the group.
"Ok, pretty boy, you need to stop reading those pregnancy books JJ has," Derek says as the group returns to their respective work.
Oh my God. You were pregnant. That had to be why you acted differently these last few weeks. Hotch quickly finished getting dressed before running into the bedroom. "You're pregnant," he says quite loudly before jumping on the bed and putting your ice cream on the nightstand beside you so he can hug you.
"I'm what now?" You asked, looking at Hotch confused.
Hotch released you from his embrace, placing his hands on your face. "You, my love, are pregnant. We're pregnant," he spoke softly, only to return to hugging you tightly. You sat in silence, too stunned to speak. You tried to wrap your head around the idea of a baby growing inside of you, but you just couldn't understand why Hotch thought you were pregnant. "I'm pregnant?" you asked Hotch as if trying to convince yourself of it. Hotch pulled away from your body to look down at you. He could see the worry and confusion on your face, and he began to wonder, "Do you not want a baby?"
You looked away for a moment to think about it. It's not that you never wanted a baby, but you just couldn't imagine having one. You guys already have Jack, which was enough for you, but the more you thought about it, the more you smiled at the idea. Hotch is already an amazing father, and you weren't the worst with Jack. The two of you could definitely make a second child work, and the team would be thrilled at the idea of yet another little member of the BAU.
You looked back at Hotch, staring into each other's eyes. You moved in and gave him a little kiss on the lips before whispering, "We're gonna have a baby."
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Noo cause that thoughts of seokmin manhandling you, throwing you around and picking you up easily to change positions and to flex his muscles are EATING ME UP
tw: mean dom!seokmin, sub!reader (fem), manhandling, dry humping, spanking, thigh riding, size kink, reader is implied to be smaller than seokmin- minors dni.
@wongyuseokie @onlyseokmins @seokgyuu @dkakapizzaboy tagging the dk stans for obvious reasons
You could recite a lot of reasons why you love Seokmin.
Be it his undying love for physical affection, his brighter than the sun smile, the way he looks at you like a lovesick fool every time you talk about your latest obsessions and his larger than life heart.
Speaking of which, Seokmin's heart isn't the only thing that's large about him.
It's more than obvious that he loves hitting the gym and he makes it even more obvious whenever he's flexing his arms on the mirror.
But his favorite place to flex his muscles on is none other than you.
He never misses a chance to use his body to his advantage and throw you around like a ragdoll on the bed and fuck you stupid.
Similarly to what he's doing right now.
He started from grinding his hips on you and flipped you over on your fours to continue, your wrists trapped under his palm above your head.
"S-Seok, please, just fuck me already!" You whine in the mattress.
"Not yet, baby, I wanna have my time with you." He rubs his crotch all over your clothed pussy, the fabric of his boxers denying you more pleasure than you actually expected.
You protest underneath him, wiggling your hips sideways to get more friction and somehow alleviate the ache in your pussy.
"You don't move until I say so, baby." Seokmin lands a sharp smack on your ass.
"But you aren't doing anything!" You turn your head to complain to him for the lack of his dick inside you.
"Too bad you don't get to decide that." He chuckles and he backs his hips away from your pussy, gripping your hips with his hands and placing your crotch directly over his thigh.
"Seok? Fuck!" You yelp when you feel his fingers grip your waist and drag your lower half over his thigh.
"I told you, darling, you're not the one calling the shots here." Seokmin reprimands you as he flexes his muscle under your pussy, eliciting a loud and lewd moan from your mouth.
"Now that's what I like to hear from you, darling. Your sweet, sweet moans." He groans, dick starting to leak in his boxers.
You're certain you've soaked through your panties, judging from the slick sounds of your pussy sliding over your boyfriend's thigh.
"Gosh, so wet already and I haven't even put my cock inside you." He laughs in a condescending manner. "Needy pussy and all mine to torture."
His mocking giggles worsen the mess between your legs and you fist the bedsheets, your mouth and your pussy drooling for him.
"Look at you - so fucking small yet handling me like a champion." Seokmin towers over you, his lips glued on the shell of your ear.
"Seok I need you so bad, please!"
"I am right here, baby."
"You know what I mean!"
"Hmm, I don't think I do." He grins and juts his thigh a bit harder.
"Goddamnit, I want you to ram your dick in my cunt until I can't walk!" You yell out of frustration.
"A bit aggressive for a demand." Seokmin hums.
"But I guess it's enough to give you what you want."
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Fashion designer Steve, who accepts a contract to have Rockstar Eddie Munson wear his designs in the latest addition of vogue, but the thing is, he hates Eddie. Hates his cocky smile, his music, the way he called Steve 'doll' the first time they met at some celebrity's birthday party made his skin crawl. But Steve isn't stupid. Eddie's hot, popular and Steve's latest line would look amazing on him. This is the only reason he accepts the deal. If people saw Eddie wearing his designs, they would buy them. Plain and simple.
Steve spends all morning before the shoot dreading having to deal with loud, obnoxious Eddie Munson. He chain smokes on the roof of his studio and tries to remind himself of all the pros of this shoot, of how influential Eddie is. The cons are way longer than the pros.
It's barely past 8am when the studio doors open and in walks the cause of his current headache, but there's something different about this man nervously walking into his studio to the one he's so used to seeing and avoiding at parties. There's no dramatic entrance, no tight leather pants and way too much eye-liner. There's just this... guy. He's in fucking sweatpants and what looks like a pyjama shirt that's been worn way too much, and his hair is tied up in a loose bun that shows off all the earrings he isn't wearing.
"Hi, I'm Eddie." He sticks out his hand politely for a hand shake and Steve is so shocked. He may have squeezed his hand a bit too tightly. "I'm super excited for the shoot! I love your designs." He's smiling at Steve but it's soft, genuine, gentle. It lacks the severity, the cockiness of the smiles he's seen before.
"Uh, thanks." Steve says dumbly and just walks away to the rack of clothes he has picked out for Eddie. "It's just me and you today. Is that okay with you? I work better when it's just me and the model." Steve takes all of his own photos, makes all his designs, does all the make-up and set design. In this industry, he's learned that if you want something done right, you need to do it yourself.
When Steve turns back around, Eddie is standing in the middle of the studio, awkwardly twisting the fabric of his shirt while rocking back onto the balls of his feet. "Yep, that's cool. It's totally cool. Cool as." His cheeks are bright red and he keeps looking around the empty studio, looking anywhere but at Steve.
"Are you nervous?" Steve asks. Nervous and Eddie Munson don't seem like two things that go together in Steve's mind. He's seen Eddie walk out onto a stage in front of thousands of people and thrust against a microphone while singing about sex. But doing a shoot alone with Steve makes him nervous?
"Yeah, you could say I'm a little nervous." He chuckles awkwardly and twirls a loose strand of hair that has fallen from the bun. "I've kind of always wanted to do a shoot with you and I'm terrified I'm going to fuck it up."
That's.. not what Steve was expecting.
"Oh." He says simply, not quite sure what to say to something like that.
"Did I just fuck it up?" Eddie drops the piece of hair and the absolute horror on his face causes Steve to smile.
He shakes his head and hands Eddie an armful of clothes. "Go get changed, pretty boy. You haven't fucked up, if anything you've just secured a permanent spot on my roster." He looks Eddie up and down once. "I like this version of you."
Eddie laughs. "You like my pyjamas?"
"No, you. You seem more real, less, no offence, douchey."
Eddie shrugs and nods in agreement, a few more strands of brown curls fall free. Steve will have to fix that. He wants Eddie's hair up for the shoot. He wants to be able to see every facial expression when Steve tells him how good he is. At posing, that is.
"Being a regular dude isn't what sells albums, unfortunately. So, I've gotta play the part. I've gotta sell sex and make myself seem otherworldly, untouchable, so that people will want me, want my music." He says this with a shrug, acts like it's just a casual thing to say. Steve can see that it's more than that though, can see how much Eddie dislikes having to play pretend to get people to like him.
He nods over to the small dressing room. "You don't have to be anyone else today. I just want Eddie. Only wear what you're comfortable in. I'll order us some breakfast, yeah?" He tries to make Eddie feel comfortable, tries to release some of the tension that had settled in the air by being friendly, a lot friendlier than he normally is with celebrity models. He usually tries to keep a distance from them.
"Pizza?" Eddie asks hopefully.
Steve scrunches up his nose and raises an eyebrow in question. "For breakfast? Really?" That didn't surprise him at all. Eddie's a rockstar. He's probably never had a balanced meal in his life.
Steve ignores the little voice in his head that whispers I could cook for him, make sure he's eating well and looking after himself.
"Yes, really. Extra anchovies, please."
"I've changed my mind. You've fucked it up. Go home."
Steve hears Eddie cackle as he slams the dressing room door shut and it's a surprisingly nice sound. Not as grating and obnoxious as the fake laugh he'd been subjected to at a party last year, it's a warm, almost melodic sound and it makes Steve's lips twitch into a smile.
Maybe this shoot won't be as torturous as he'd thought it would be.
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Zosan modern au where they immediately hate each other's guts cause they meet through Nami.
Zoro has known her for years, their friendship is almost as old as his and Luffy's. He was right there with her through her big gay crisis and she was there for his. Even if they fight each other, or when they threaten to kill each other, she's his ride or die. They decided to start fighting professionally around the same time, too. Though Nami gave up her title to become Luffy and Zoro's manager (more money that way).
Sanji doesn't meet her until college, but still, it's been a good few years. They met in a gay bar when Sanji hit on her. He'd been all dolled up in drag for a show and Nami really almost took him home until they started talking and Sanji said he was a man. They laughed off the misunderstanding and eventually swapped numbers at the end of the night.
Surprisingly, they've haven't been formally introduced to one another or even run into each other in the whole four years since Nami first met Sanji. And with good reason, Nami, and the rest of the people who know the two of them, have agreed it would only end in attempted (probably successful) assault. The only thing they'd have in common is how quick they are to fight. They'd clash so horribly.
Zoro has grown up around women his whole life, and the one who trained him taught him the weak are the weak and the strong are the strong, regardless of gender. He doesn't treat Nami differently just cause she has boobs and a pretty face (his words) and he hates when men talk down to her just cause they see her as weak.
Sanji, on the other hand, grew up knowing only two women in his life. His father was the type of man who believed they should be seen and not heard, and even though he knew that wasn't true it was all he heard in the time he spent around them. After Zeff took him in the only experience he got with women were the costumers and chefs he'd met through the Baratie. Zeff's opinion on women was drastically different, but no less misogynistic. And even though now Nami and Robin correct him on it, he still can't help putting them on a pedestal. He still sees them as more valuable then himself, and he'd never say anything rude, much less hit a women for any reason.
Which is why Nami has forbidden them to ever meet.
Unfortunately, that has to change after she proposes to Vivi. Because Vivi has befriended them and is very adamant that they both not only attend the wedding, but be apart of the wedding party as well.
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Can I ask for Natasha x reader where one of them calls the other one by their real name and the other one freaks out because they usually call them by petnames? Thanks!
Of course! I always love fics based off this idea 💞 this is kind of angsty because I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff alright 😭 also Малыш is supposed to mean baby in Russian, but I honestly have no idea how accurate that is
Terms of Endearment (Natasha Romanoff x reader)
Warnings: mentions of insecurity/self depreciating thoughts, not really hurt/comfort but also kind of?? Idk
You and your girlfriend Natasha had always been fond of using petnames for each other, often more so than your actual names themselves. Whether it be honey, sweetheart, darling, or simply just babe, you never ran out of cutesy names to call each other. But as much as you loved hearing the never ending abundance of pet names roll off Natasha's tongue, what you didn't love was how often you got teased for it.
You knew the other members of the team didn't mean anything by it and would stop if they knew how much it upset you, but the problem was you didn't really have a good reason for feeling that way. It seemed silly just thinking about it, childish even. So you kept your mouth shut, laughing along at their meaningless jokes as you made yourself a promise to cut down on the cheesy nicknames.
You hoped Natasha wouldn't notice the lack endearing terms on your part, but she did, of course. She always noticed the small things nobody else picked up on. It came with the job description of being an assassin.
Although she'd noticed it, she couldn't understand why there was a sudden change in your behavior, especially when she knew how much you loved the petnames you had for each other.
Because of this, she cut down on the petnames, too, and only used them when you were alone, hoping maybe she could solve the problem that way, even if she didn't know what it was.
It all came it a head one day when you were cooking together. It was just the two of you, everyone else either busy or in another part of the Avengers base.
Natasha was standing by the stove, making some sort of soup. "Малыш, could you hand me the salt?" She asked after tasting it and realizing it needed something.
The way you tensed up at the name she used for you did not fly past her, and it caused her to let out a small sigh. "Are you okay? You haven't been using nearly as many petnames for me as you used to, and I've noticed whenever I use them you seem... upset. Even when we're alone."
You let out a sigh yourself, knowing it wouldn't do you any good to lie about it. "I... I was hoping you wouldn't notice." You began meekly, looking down.
Natasha had a slight frown on her face as she turned towards you fully. "And why is that?" Her tone was gentle, but firm. It was clear she wasn't going to let you leave without some sort of explanation.
"It- its not you. Or me. Its the others," you confess quietly. "I didn't really like the way they teased me whenever I called you honey or babe, so I stopped all together."
She nodded her head, the pieces suddenly falling into place. "Ah, so that's why. At first, I thought I'd done something to tick you off." She joked, it making her heart warm to hear the laugh that came from you after.
"No, it wasn't that, and even if it was, you know I could never stay mad at you." You said playfully, finally handing her the salt.
She took it from you and added some to the pot on the stove before speaking again. "I'll talk to everybody, and tell them to lay off on the teasing, that way you won't have to worry about it anymore."
You gave her a loving smile, your tone filled with gratitude. "Thanks, hon."
She smiled back at the petname before giving you a soft kiss. "Of course, darling. Anything for you."
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When You Have An Secret Admirer - And It's Not Them (Diasomnia; 7)
A love letter was left at your door and now you are searching for that ‘secret admirer’ - everyone wants to help you out…but have their own reason for it.
'I can't give you the faboulus experience of an Fae nor can I give you the treasures of royalty...I'm sorry about that. But know that I can give you my entire heart.'
form of headcanons + scenario-ish
[note: reader is gender-neutral but mostly mentioned in 2. pov; a series of everyone you meet following you. headcanon will follow each char. own thoughts on the situation. mostly nervousness, slight jealousy & stubbornness]
Part 1: Heartslabyul
Part 2: Savanaclaw
Part 3: Octavinelle
Part 4: Scarabia
Part 5: Pomefiore
Part 6: Ignihyde
Weirdly enough nighttime was your comfort time.
An odd thing to name it, Malleus noted. You could only half-heartedly laugh as your eyes drifted to the ground. You could barely listen to his ramblings of gargoyles.
In fact, you were somewhat...relieved. Malleus and in this case all of Diasomnia haven't...done anything. No cheating. No corruption. No overblot.
Not yet at least.
There wasn't a single thing to dislike about them, aside from their little ego boost they get when they show off their power. It's true most students of that dorm are highly talented nobles and nobility tends to get arrogant. Surely they couldnt be such an eyesore, right?
Could your secret admirer do anything to them?
Lillia Vanrouge
That'd be a foolish decision.
Lillia is surprisingly one of the last people to get wind of these things. Both Kalim and Cater weren't so talkative of what happened in their dorms when he meets with them in their club. In Cater's case, Riddle insists on not talking about the 'criminal' so rumors wouldn't spread and Kalim was surprisingly dejected at the mention of the secret admirer.
A secret admirer, eh?
Oh, how exciting that sounds. Lillia didn't know young people were still into that old courtship tradition.
Though he has heard they aren't really your typical, run-of-the-mill admirer...
Even for Fae standards that is...woof.
And they have their eye, heart, admiration and affection all for you? Little Prefect of Ramshakle dorm and Malleus' friend?
Well, that makes perfect sense. Lillia couldn't imagine anyone else being the target object of affections, especially when someone is this determined to show their love.
On one hand he is happy for you. You deserve all this attention for you are such a cutie human. But on the other hand...eeeehh, perhaps such a person would not really suit you, no?
I mean, even Lillia finds them a tad bit odd and maybe extreme.
The father-like blood in him causes him to worry. He is of course worried about you but especially about Silver and Malleus. The latter won't like that his favorite human is...well, getting attention in such a way.
And Silver? Poor boy probaby doesn't know what to do with himself.
Oh, my. Perhaps he should offer a helping hand.
Sebek Zigvolt
What is the meaning of THIIIIIISSS
The last one of the first years to catch up.
Literally did not notice a single thing until the squad straight up told him + he needed the extra confirmation from Lillia. What do you mean you had a secret admirer from the very start?
Your strange behaviour? Sebek shurgged it off, probably just the change of the weather.
Things going haywire in the other dorms? Well, obviously. They aren't as great and organized as Diasmonia and have no great WAKA-SAMAAA in their circle.
Admirer shenanigans? Pah, nothin' but rumors.
BUt the MOMENT Lillia or Malleus tell him of these things he just IMMEDIATELY believes them.
WH-wh-wh-WHaAT??? :O Waka-sama you are so smart for noticing these things! OH, you are like a royal detective, the Sherlock Holmes of faes to-
Wait, everybody already knows?
.-.
A bit...stumped and confused. You...got a secret admirer? And judging from all the things he has heard and all the lasting consequences he has seen in the dorms...it's quite serious too, isn't it?
huh
WelL; whAt does the matters of a hUmAN concern him ANYWAY??? YOU Aren't Waka-sama nor Lilia-sama so...who cares??? Sebek doesn't. Nope. Not one bit.
The others try as they may but Sebek gives the entire thing the cold shoulder. He doesn't care, that is your problem. If anything, aren't humans usually super happy when they have a secret admirer? You should concider yourself grateful.
The squad tells him, no, this isn't something to be thankful for nor something to ignore. This is serious and complicated and none of them can just leave you alone in this.
Sebek supposes that makes sense...
But well, he...he can't show he cares...because he doesn't. No.
Silver
Also kind of the last one to catch up. Mostly because he literally slept on it.
Well, techincally it is not of his concern. It doesn't interfere with his classes, his training or when it comes to protecting Malleus, though the latter seems to be concerned.
He can't deny his worries...and understands them, too. You are a great friend to Malleus and to Silver as well.
Of course. It makes sense that you have a secret admirer. You are to be admired for all that you are. All that you have gone through as a magicless student. Though is this attention truly...loving?
Does not have a single concern in his mind if Diasomnia will be humiliated next. His old man is nto concerned and therefore, he won't be either.
Silver is more worried about Malleus.
Additionally, you have to face these 'affections' all on your own...will you be alright? Perhaps you need protection?
Silver would gladly provide it...but he is unsure if he can just barge in and be part of this whole shenanigan.
Malleus Draconia
Funnily enough, Malleus is one of the first people to know about your admirer.
It was the night after the 'crime' was comitted at Heartslabyul. Lost in your thoughts you almost forgot that you promised Malleus to accompany him on your many night walks.
The prince noticed your stillness.
"I'm sorry, Tsunotarou," You gave him a nervous smile, "Something came up today and I think I need to...think it all through."
You cut the stroll short and excused yourself. Malleus had no problem and let you be, a bit surprised you'd ever find yourself in a pickle. "Certainly. Just know that you can always talk to me about your worries, Child of Man...or not if you don't prefer."
And so you were gone. And your strolls became shorter and shorter.
Out of worry, the fae went to Lillia and told him of his woes. His friend is...not as chipper as usual.
Lillia promises to keep an eye out...and lo and behold, as the news of the admirer became bigger and bigger and the things they caused out of love more vivid and vivid, Lillia told Malleus of what was really going on.
...Oh?
A...secret admirer?
He felt a bit uneasy at the thought...
He may not be present at everything nor up to date (it feels like not getting invited) but Malleus can tell that this way of courtship is...peculiar.
Was first surprised that traditional wooing was also executed by humans (your admirer IS human, right?) but oh my, not even faes are that...hm, let's say, determined and petty.
Thinks it's endearing but also pathetic. Winning your love does not need to revolve around the doom of other dorms, does it? Even when they have wronged you.
After all, you all made up. You wanted to and were the reason why everything was good between you and the dorms now, even though you are magicless.
Seems like this admirer does not know you well...not as well as Malleus does.
The prince has been quietly pondering ever since, cradling his chin in thought. Lillia watches in anticipation.
My, this is strange.
Lillia has been watching from the sidelines for quite a bit...but he got the feeling that today was especially peculiar.
Making his way to the entrance of the dorm he absent-mindedly told Silver of his mild woes to which the lad immediately insistend on accompanying his father. Usually the fae would decline and say it isn't a big deal...but maybe Silver should witness it, too.
The student followed worriedly as Lillia seemed to...go up and down and all around the entire dormitory. He knew he was old but old enough to know the entire building like the back of his hand? Where are they going anyway, it feels like entering a labyrinth.
The wind blew high and dark clouds swirled around. Just as Silver wanted to ask what they are doing on the roof, Lilia seemed to have caught something right before it went down the chimney.
The fae barely waited to be back in his room and opened up the letter right then and there.
'Nighly walks can make one sick, Draconia.'
What a way to start off a greeting.
Lilia
Oh my, my, my, MY!
Alright, his gut was right then.
Lilia wasn't planning on interfering, really...but this won't do.
Passive-aggressive jealousy towards Malleus and therefore the entirety of Diasomnia cannot be ignored.
It's kind of a shame really. This secret admirer seemed so passionate but it also looks like their negative traits are passionately expressed as well.
They just had to succumb to their weakness...love really makes people complicated. Or commit awful things unnecessarily.
Silver already knows and he trusts him. However, it's best if you and Sebek don't get the news...you are heavily involved as the admired and Sebek can get uuhhhh...maybe even more passionate than the admirer themselves.
Unsure how to approach Malleus though. The lad also feels quickly challenged...
Silver
An emergency!
Silver is ready to draw his sword. It must be one of these messaged threats to royals he has heard about! In fact, it reminds him of the tale of the Thorn Fairy...
Nevertheless he keeps his cool, following Lilia. However, he can't help but stick close to Malleus in general...glimpsing at him in worry.
As a matter of fact, his thoughts then flow over to you. While the message was meant for Malleus and is certainly no love letter, he still worries about you. If Malleus has to deal with something akin to jealousy and well, a threat (thats what he sees it as for sure, Lilia is a bit more amused even in his concerns) what must you be feeling being the object of affection?
How long will you play that role? Are you comfortable? Unsure? Unsafe? It is such a complicated issue, one that does not need to go over such lengths...
If only your admirer were normal...
Hm, no...maybe no. Maybe that still wouldn't calm Silver entirely.
As a knight he does not have a good feeling about this. He decided he will protect Malleus and you. The crown prince is being threatened and you seem more like a damsel in distress rather than a blushing maiden to him anyway...
Just how is Silver going to approach this? Just start hanging around you like a guard?
He got the feeling he might start having bad dreams about this...
Sebek
As much as Lillia tried to keep this a secret, Sebek of course butts heads and shoves his nose wherever needed when it comes to the well-being of Malleus.
WH-WHA-WHAT? A-AN EMERGENCY! A THREAT! AN ENEMY! WE NEED TO FIND THEM ASAP!!!
Is quick to panic and will drop everything to find the 'enemy'. No one will get past him to WAKA-SAMA!!!!
Unlike Silver, Sebek is unfortunately too emotional to control himself and will quickly blame you for having this 'secret admireeeer' of yours who only causes trouble! Don't you know?! They want Waka-sama's head! (An exaggeration)
This of course leads to the word being spreak quite quickly. Huh? The dormleader of Diasomnia got a letter? Bullying? No, threats? THE crown prince? What's going on?
Great job, Sebek, now everyone knows.
The student quickly clams up and starts feeling guilty for pointing his finger at you and barking up the wrong tree. Silver and Lilia are quick to tell him that this isn't your fault and that just adds to his guilt.
Yet...it is your secret admirer's fault. They are the one causing trouble, they are the one envying Waka-sama, they are the one trying to win your heart.
He's all over the place and so are his feelings. Sebek is trying to do the right thing but it isn't going as swell as he hoped he would.
If only that admirer never had the courage to show you their love and none of this would be happening. If only things could have stayed the way they have.
Malleus
Thanks to tattletale Sebek, Malleus swiftly heard of this 'bullying' as some students have asked him about and demanded Lillia to show him this so-called 'threat'.
Re-reading the one sentence over and over again, Malleus couldn't help but laugh. He first chuckled, then chortled before straight up letting out a guffaw.
"Nightly walks makes one sick, eh?" He mockingly repeats. There's something about this letter that hinders him from crumbling or throwing it away. Looking at it a second longer, Malleus insisted on keeping it.
Wouldn't matter if it did go missing. The prince can easily recall the threat as if it were a spell.
The fae can't deny it. The thought of you having a secret admirer irked him. It made absolute sense that someone else notices your quaint self and so he held himself back. As long as you were happy.
But now this petty student thinks they can just challenge him? Tell him to stop spending time with you?
All the while spitting out the name 'Draconia'. He could read the venom out of it.
How funny. They think Malleus will listen? Set aside his own feelings and just - stop being your friend? Sever your bond and accept defeat as if he had no chance whatsoever?
Pathetic little worm.
[welp, this is the last one. i saw many wondering who the admirer might be and...its not what you think. not malleus. think of anyone and you are wrong. its no one from rsa either.
sooo...will be taking a break now and instead take requests. after that another project with the secret admirer will be started before they finally and officially confess to you...]
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