I totally didn't write this with a fever.
wc: 815, Masterpost, Shopping Montage
“What do you think, parrots and way too many leaves or palm trees and waves?” Danny said, holding the two horrifically patterned Hawaiian shirts up in front of him.
They were standing in one of Crime Alley’s better thrift stores. While Danny had agreed to let Jason buy him some clothing, he had insisted it be at thrift stores. He wasn’t ‘going to let Jason spend that much money on clothing’, he claimed.
Jason figured that meant that Danny hadn’t clocked who he was yet.
Danny waggled the offensive shirts again.
“Tuesday…”
“Ah, I see, clearly it is option number three then,” Danny said somberly before dramatically pulling out a third shirt behind the other two and, “unicorns, rainbows, and hibiscus!”
It was eye searingly bright— like a pack of highlighters had thrown up on it— and clearly whoever had designed it had never seen an ungulate, rainbow, or hibiscus flower in their lives.
“No. No, you are not getting that because I am buying it for my fashion disaster of a brother. He’ll love it.”
“Really?” Danny asked, nose wrinkling adorably as he looked down at the shirt in his hand.
“Trust me, if you knew him, you wouldn’t be doubting it.” Besides, it stopped Danny from getting it even as a joke.
“Huh. Sounds like some brother.”
“That’s an understatement,” Jason said, taking the unicorn shirt and hanging the other two up. “Why don’t we start with pants. Three pairs at least.”
Danny scrambled after Jason. “Three pairs? That means I’d have four if the blood comes out.”
“It will come out.”
“Then that’s four! And that’s way too many.”
“One pair for every two days and a back up pair if you don’t get laundry done or lose another pair to a rogue attack,” Jason explained, finding the jean section. “What size are you and what type do you like. Baggy, boot cut, skinny?”
Danny stared down at the tables of jeans, looking more than a little lost. “Um, blue? Blue is good?”
“Disaster, Tuesday,” Jason said. He sized Danny up before picking out a half dozen jeans and shoving them at the other. “Try these on.”
“Jason, I really don’t—”
“Tuesday, I’m getting you three pairs of jeans. You might as well at least make sure they’re comfortable. Go try on the pants. If these don’t work, we’ve got others to try.”
“I, um, okay,” Danny said with a little nod and disappeared into the fitting booth.
As Jason grabbed another few pairs of pants, he had to wonder when the last time that Danny actually went shopping was from how he was reacting. Having to try on the jeans to make sure they fit was pretty basic. Hoping to make sure Danny really had enough clothing, Jason grabbed a few shirts to add to the pile. Mostly he stuck with basics, but he tossed in a few shirts that seemed nerdy in a way that an engineer might like. He pushed the pile under the edge of the fitting room curtain with his foot.
“What— I don’t—”
“Just be good and try on the shirts,” Jason ordered, as gently as he could, then he leaned against the wall opposite of the little line of changing booths to wait.
The sound of the curtain pulling open had Jason looking up from his phone. Danny stood just inside the booth, tugging down at the hem of the dark red henley where it set over the navy skinny cut jeans.
Danny shifted on socked feet. (Jason made note of the holes in the toes.) “I don’t know if…”
“Gives me a spin, Tuesday,” Jason said, tucking his phone in his pocket. “You act like you’ve never gone clothes shopping before.”
“Been a good few years,” Danny drawled, but spun as he was told. The pants did surprising favors for Danny’s ass for being thrift store pants.
“Never had that sudden growth spurt?” Jason teased.
Danny huffed. “I’m a short king.”
“Well, your Majesty, put both those in the yes pile and go try on some more.” Jason shooed Danny back into the booth with a wave. “When you’re done, we’ll grab you a pack of socks and boxers from the Dollar Tree next door— no arguing— and then I’ll show you the best diner in Crime Alley.”
“Am I going to have to let you pay there too?”
“Yep, so be a good figure head of a dated governmental system and hush.”
“Or it will be the guillotine for me?” The question was muffled as Danny changed.
“You’re too pretty to lose your head,” Jason said. “It would be the dungeons with you.”
Danny cleared his throat after a pause. “Don’t tempt me with a good time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jason said with a chuckle and a determination to ignore that mental picture. “Now come on, show me the next outfit.”
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AN: And Dick wore that unicorn shirt far, far too often.
Hopefully it's coherent despite me being sick. The start of this came to me as I was trying to sleep with a 102ish fever so who am I to deny it?
Stay delightful (and hydrated) darlings!
I no longer tag for various reasons, but you can subscribe to be notified at the masterpost. (Queued this post so I'll update the masterpost when I wake)
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