In case anyone wants to know how unhinged my [REDACTED] is, I asked him about this :
To which he replied "Every few days."
Why?????
"I like to think about failure, they did so poorly and tried so hard but achieved nothing. I like to think about ancient civilizations and how baffled they'd be by today. They'd die."
Soap created a Group chat
Soap changed the profile picture
Soap changed the name to “1-whore-1 💅”
Ghost left the chat
Soap added Ghost to the chat
Price: Shouldn't you all be working?
Soap: Who says we aren't working?
Price: You think chatting like this during work hours is considered "working"?!
Soap: You're chatting too
Price: It's different!
Soap: Lmao yeah sure
Soap: Hey, hey Ghost!
Ghost ✓✓
Soap: DON'T LEAVE ME ON READ I SEE YOU'RE ONLINE
Ghost has removed you from his "Friends" list and blocked you
You're no longer able to see the user "Ghost" online status
Ghost has left the chat
Soap: WHAT THE FUCK
Price: Soap, watch with the language!
Soap: But but but but he blocked me
Gaz: Maybe that's for a good reason?
Soap: You're all so mean imma go cry
Roach: Bro, seriously?!
Soap: Shut up you insect 😭
Roach: Insect? Okay and you're literally the most basic dude here.
Soap: Wow. Is national bully Soap day today?
Gaz: Yeah, you didn't get the memo?
Soap: 😭🖕
Soap is offline
Price: Okay, I guess we shouldn't have gone too far...
Roach: Too late now...
Gaz: Soap will forgive us.
Roach: You sure?
Gaz: He'll be back in 3...
Gaz: 2
Gaz: 1
Soap is online
Soap: Okay can someone please tell Ghost to unblock me before I have to go physically meet him
Price: Soap, just leave Ghost alone he clearly wants some time alone.
Soap: But it's super mega important!!
Price: What is so important that you need Ghost's attention??
Soap: That's a secret 👉👈
Price: Soap...
Price: You're not still pining over him are you...?
Soap: WHAT THE- Where the hell did you learn that word captain??
Price: ...I have my sources.
Soap: I- Okay I don't even wanna know but NO I AM NOT
Price: I was joking, Soap. You clearly are obsessed with him, I thought it was obvious.
Soap: 🖕
Price: Don't you be giving me the finger, Soap, I can dock your pay for that.
Soap: Abuse of power!!! I'm telling on you to Laswell!!
Price: I'll dock your pay and your vacation days, don't challenge me.
Soap: 😭
obey me characters as "boys will be boys" shenanigans
boys will be boys-- a common phrase usually used to dismiss sexist or destructive behavior from boys and men alike. that usage absolutely neglects to acknowledge all the fun, harmless, stupid shit boys are capable of. i refuse to let this phrase be misogynistic any longer. "boys will be boys" is now the go to phrase to mean "boys will sometimes do stupid shit that is usually harmless but always endearing and/or entertaining". gotta give some love to our boys <3
content warnings: clueless boy behavior
only on the rarest of occasions, when he's completely distracted, mammon will drink like a toddler. y'know that thing where they take huge sips and then breathe loudly between each sip? yeah that. that's him. not on purpose, but he still does it. it is so hard to catch him doing this, but when you do it is so fucking funny.
diavolo and lucifer are really into those unclogging drains accounts on social media. something about them just really captivates them. same with "how it's made" clips. they'll send the videos to each other anytime the stumble across a really good one. nobody (besides barbatos) knows they do this.
beel is definitely that man that, when asked to buy tampons or pads for a mestruating friend or partner, to ask very amusing questions. if he's grabbing tampons, he'll shyly call you up from the feminine hygiene aisle and ask "what size is your... y'know..." (he can't bring himself to say it). cue the laughter once you eventually pick up on what he means-- the sizes they offer for different flows, like regular or super. you're nice enough to explain that one when he gets home. if he's grabbing you pads, he'll call you up in distress from the store. you see, he knows that your period lasts a few days, but the longest lasting ones he can find are overnight pads. should he go to another store to get ones that will last longer, or...? you have to explain to him that you don't wear pads for more than a couple of hours, and that you throw the old ones away and replace them with new ones when needed. poor thing. he's trying so hard to help.
asmo is very much team "kiss the homies goodnight". granted, he has different reasons for that stance, but it's funny to hear him tease the others. what's that, mammon? you don't kiss the homies goodnight? what a bad friend! this always ends in chaos.
mammon may be the crow, but it's usually satan that collects things like one. he has a pile of pretty rocks he's found or received over the years. he will, if prompted, show you every last one of them and explain all of their origins (like a toddler showing off their racecar collection). you might have just asked casually, but now you're in it for the long haul. see, this rock here is actually from the human world. it's only ever found by volcanos, as it is a form of volcanic rock, but this one actually--