[the pack has been captured by Gerard]
Stiles: Well. Since we're all gonna die, there's one more secret I want to share with you.
Stiles: I did not care for The Godfather.
Boyd: What?!
Stiles: Didn't care for it.
Lydia: How can you even say that?
Stiles: I just didn't like it.
Isaac: Stiles, it's so good--
Stiles: --didn't like it--
Isaac: --it's like the perfect movie!
Stiles: This is what everyone says. Whenever, I bring it up, they're always like, "oh--"
Erica: Robert De Niro! Al Pacino! I mean, Robert Duvall!
Stiles: I know, listen, fine actor, fine actor, but I did not like the movie.
Derek: Why not?
Stiles: I did not-- I couldn't get into it.
Derek: Explain yourself. What didn't you like about it.
Stiles: It-- it insists upon itself, Derek.
Lydia: What? What does that even mean?
Stiles: It insists upon itself.
Isaac: Because it has a valid point to make! It's insisting something important!
Stiles: It takes forever getting in, and you spend, like, six and a half hours, and then, you know, I can't even finish the movies. I've never even finished the movie.
Boyd: You've never seen the ending?!
Kira: How can you say you don't like it if you haven't even given it a chance?
Erica: I agree with Kira, it's not really fair.
Isaac: Outrageous.
Stiles: I have tried on three separate occasions to get through it, and I get to the scene where all the guys are sitting around on their easy chairs--
Lydia: Yeah, it's a great scene, I love that scene.
Stiles: But it's not a great scene!
Boyd: It's been noted in every annal.
Stiles: I have no idea what they're talking about, it's like they're speaking a different language, that's when I lose interest.
Derek: You know what, Stiles--
Isaac: THEY'RE SPEAKING ITALIAN!
Derek: --the language they're speaking is a language of subtlety, something you don't understand.
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teen wolf as b99 quotes
*lydia’s party in s2*
lydia: why is no one having a good time? i specifically requested it.
***
isaac, to lydia: derek told me not to let him get hurt tonight, so i’ll keep him away from you.
later
stiles: have you seen lydia?
isaac: lydia died eight years ago.
***
derek: oh, are you and allison no longer…
scott: smushing booties?
derek: …yes that’s exactly how i was going to phrase my sentence, scott.
***
stiles: we gotta get to hospital and we gotta get there fast.
jackson: then i should drive.
scott: why you?
jackson: i have nothing to live for and i drive like it.
stiles: …okay, let’s do it.
***
stiles: all right, give me your hair-dryer.
allison: what?
stiles: don’t you carry one in your purse?
allison: have you ever met a human woman?
stiles: …*calls lydia*
lydia: hey, stiles.
stiles: hey. do you carry a hair-dryer in your purse?
lydia: of course. i’m not an animal.
***
stiles: you think you can just bully people, but you can’t. it’s not okay.
stiles: i’m the bully around here. ask anyone.
***
erica: i’m not a stone cold bitch.
erica: i’m a natural, beautiful presence.
***
stiles: do you know how many basic bitches would kill to have the same personality as me?
***
peter: we can go to my apartment. no one knows where i live.
derek: i thought you had stiles over once.
peter: yeah, it was fun. i moved the next day.
peter: he would way too easily use that information against me.
stiles: he’s right, i would.
***
scott: stiles, i screwed up, big time.
stiles: scott, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.
***
kira: ‘writing things down’ is nerdy!? what do you do?
malia: i just forget stuff like a cool person.
***
allison: you are disturbingly good at this.
lydia: i grew up forging report cards.
lydia: if people knew how smart i was, it would have been harder to control them.
***
stiles: are you a minor? how old are you?
liam: i’m 610. i’m a highlander.
stiles: okay, you know what? i’m gonna put that in there.
stiles: and then you’re gonna be tried as an adult highlander, and they’re gonna cut your head off.
***
erica: what do you look for in a guy?
stiles: i don’t know, real stuff. shape of his ass.
erica: yeah that tracks
***
scott: i straight up drove him off, big screw up on my part.
derek:
scott: i’m trying this new thing, where i just own my mistakes. i like it, do you?
derek: i did. until you bragged about it.
***
boyd: you searched for ‘cheapest date possible’.
stiles: and i wear that search like a badge of honor.
***
scott: wow, your handshake is quite firm.
kira: i took a seminar.
scott: where?
***
stiles: a parsec is actually a measure of distance. that’s one of the many inaccuracies in the ‘Star Wars’ universe.
malia: and what’s ‘Star Wars’?
stiles: oh boy.
***
scott: okay- no big deal, five days is nothing. i’m not afraid to be alone with my own thoughts.
scott: my thoughts are awesome. die hard 6 on a cruise ship… pizza bagel restaurant…
scott: my father never loved me, i’m gonna die alone.
scott: oh boy, that escalated quick.
***
stiles: well, remember when you told me not to burn down the precinct?
sheriff stilinski: you burned down the precinct??
stiles: no, i had the fire put out almost immediately. this is a success story!
***
stiles: peter, this isn’t High School Musical.
scott: yeah, peter, this isn’t High School Musical 2.
stiles: yeah, and it isn’t High School Musical 3: Senior Year.
***
boyd: i’m fine at parties.
boyd: i just stand in the middle of the room and don’t say anything.
***
derek: i only feel one emotion, and it’s anger.
isaac: last night you drunk-texted the whole pack a bunch of heart emojis.
derek: …out of anger.
***
stiles, to jackson: no hard feelings. but i hate you.
stiles: not joking. bye.
***
lydia: give me the ring.
stiles: ha, you sound like Gollum.
lydia: that means nothing to me.
lydia: i don’t see those movies, i’m too pretty.
***
stiles, walking out after a pack meeting ends: sexy train is leaving the station.
stiles: check out this caboose! later, sluts.
***
scott: look at me. do not blow this for us.
random dog that allison hit with her car:
***
peter: i really miss these people, the whole pack. stiles, scott…
peter: …i forget all their other names.
derek: *judgemental eyebrow raise*
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