tired of people on tiktok acting like BPD and HPD are the ‘good cluster b disorders’ or the ‘victim cluster b’s’ meanwhile NPD and ASPD are the ‘evil mean abusive cluster b’s’
stfu.
we’re in the same cluster for a reason, you can’t support some whilst demonising the others.
bpd culture is please please please please please please please please please please please please please please. please. im begging you please. please. please. i need you. come closer. closer. i need to smell you as close as i can. i need to feel your skin. i need you so close to me our skin fuses into one. i need you so violently. i need your hands wrapped around my heart i need you to feel that it beats for you and only you and you are my everything. you are my everything. you are the sun and the moon, the rise and fall of my chest, the build-up and crashing of a wave. i am yours and forever yours. i am always yours even after death, even after they put me in the ground or turn me into ashes or whatever happens to me. i am yours. your eyes are so pretty. you are so pretty. i love you. you don't have to love me. let me admire you. i want to admire you forever. you can hate me, i don't care. you can scorn me and beat me and hurt me, though you'd never do that. you're too nice to ever think of such things. everything about you is perfect. i wish you would run your delicate fingers along my arms and grasp my hands. i wish i could hear you laugh just one more time, and then a thousand times more after that. i close my eyes and i see you. i open my eyes, and i think of you in everything i see. i hope you are well. i hope you know i miss you. i can't wait to see your smile again. i hope you know i love you.
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As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.
Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.
The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.
I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.
I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.
As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.
95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'
I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.
That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.
There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.
My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.
Borderline patients can't win.
And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.
BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.
Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.
And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.
I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.
Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.
Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.
To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.
I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.
I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.
You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.
bpd culture is are you mad at me are you mad at me are you mad at me are you mad at me are you mad at me are you mad at me are you mad at me are you mad at me are you mad at me are you mad at me are you mad at me are you mad at me