Going to dump some of my side Logan/Loscar angst ideas with some ‘brief’ drabbles that I’ve thought about messing with bcuz I have far too many ideas to keep up with myself.
Also some of these are more mild than others so!! Yeah I’m gonna list that on a scale of 1-5, 1 being fairly tame and 5 being gut wrenching for what it’s worth
May have gone overboard on this. Whoops
Anyways here’s a list of each topic that’s written about so you can be prepared
Hanahaki Disease 3 (Illness)
Sacrifice 5 (Description Violence and Implied Main Character Death)
Omegaverse 1
Coming Out 5 (Homophobia, Child Abuse, Religious Trauma)
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 2
Overstimulation 1
Stay safe!
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1) Hanahaki Disease
Of course his pining would end up backstabbing him eventually. Just sucks it had to be when he also achieved his dream of being F1. While he tried to turn a blind eye to the affections of the two boys in Papaya, his heart wasn’t as oblivious.
It started with just a tight squeeze. Benny would notice his insurance suddenly dropping. He pushed it to the side, thinking it was just an affect from summer break. But then it got worse
And worse.
And worse.
And then one day, while running on the treadmill, Logan was gasping for breath, slamming his foot down and jerking harshly, tearing the oxygen mask away from his face as he fell to his knees onto the floor, choking and coughing until he spat out a singular eucalyptus leaf.
How fucking ironic.
Benny is immediately by his side. Instantly recognizing the flora he grew up around.
Native to Australia and the primary food of Koalas.
Logan had tried to avoid Benny’s questioning, but he knew it was futile. The older man held the American, already well aware of the others feelings toward Oscar.
He couldn’t control his breakdown if he tried, sobbing into the trainers shoulder.
They stayed like that for the rest of the day, Benny not wanting to push the younger boy any further and wanting to just enjoy some time with him.
After all, how do you cope with the fact that the boy you see as a third child is facing certain death to a broken heart.
2) Sacrifice
Royalty Au.
Oscar is the Prince of Australia, heir to the throne.
Logan is his assigned Knight. Paired with him since the age of 5 so they form an extremely close and tight knit relationship.
They grow into themselves well. Logan fulfills his duty with the upmost seriousness. But he’s also a friend to Oscar. Accompanying him everywhere, indulging in any mischief with him, and over time, forming a very strong crush on him.
He knows it’s taboo to be a knight hopelessly in love with a prince. But god Oscar is just so gorgeous. Especially when his crown is slightly crooked on his head and his wavy hair frames his face.
Logan should have known it would happen. The day that Oscar would have to attend the formal dance to decide on who would be his husband and partner on the throne. Of course his eagle eyed gaze didn’t miss how the Australian’s attention was taken by a boy with curly chocolate brown hair.
The other prince was British, as was his knight. Logan recognized him as Max Fewtrell. He sparred with him a few times.
They gave the two royals time to discuss within themselves, Logan glancing with an empty gaze. He knew Max picked up his feelings, but what he didn’t expect was the reciprocated expression in the Brits eyes.
Go figure.
They were both in love with their own Princes. The men they swore to protect.
They court for a decent amount of time. Gossip spreads across the kingdom of the union, which means Max and Logan were on high alert.
But they just weren’t alert enough.
It all happened so quickly.
Oscar had been pulled away from the garden for a moment by his father. Logan was ordered to stay with Lando as extra precaution outside. He nodded in understanding.
Within five minutes of them being alone outside with the British Prince, there was a noise. A snap.
In a flash a man masked in black clothing rushed at Lando, sword drawn to administer a killing slice to the royal.
Of course, he never got the chance.
With lightning speed, Max administered a offensive maneuver, leaving the assassin with a mortal wound.
But not in time for him to prevent a killing strike of his own.
Logan stood in front of Lando in a protective stance, biting his lip as his face pinched in pain. The Brit was cowered behind the American, stifling a cry as he realized what happened when he saw a drop of blood splatter onto the ground.
It didn’t take long for Logan to collapse onto the earth soil, coughing in pain as red painted the green in a grotesque painting.
The knight smiled tightly, lifting a hand carefully to place on Lando’s. He grinned weakly as he saw the two Brits above him staring in shock with tears in their eyes.
“Take care of him.” Logan mumbled hoarsely, closing his eyes as he faded in and out of consciousness, only half aware of the feeling of his hand being squeezed in acknowledgement.
And while the American wasn’t aware of the Australian’s presence in his final moments, he died in his arms, a contented expression on his face.
3) Omegaverse
If there was one thing Logan hated about being from Florida, it was the people.
Specifically the old wrinkly bastards who came down this way and bringing their outdated traditional views and opinions with them, spewing them to the youth as if they were trying to douse a house fire.
It was a popular held belief by the Republican Party that Omega’s were meant to serve, that was their duty to their country and how they earned their keep. By pleasing their Alphas.
Logan’s dad believed most of it. Not as harshly as others mind you, but still to the extent he tried pushing it onto the young minds of his pups.
Neither boy cared for it. They lived on the rush of doing things on their own, and Logan hated the idea of someone taking care of his every need and whim and submitting to him. He liked doing things himself.
That being said, second genders were a bit of a taboo conversation in the Bible Belt.
If you had presented, you were expected to cover your scent when in public. The only exceptions were Deltas and Gammas, as the younger pups had yet to have anything problematic and the elders were highly respected.
Logan’s dad had always said it was to prevent any animalistic instincts from causing sinful acts, but he thinks that’s just an excuse for people being unable to control themselves.
He didn’t really realize how wild the American South’s opinion on dynamics were until he moved to Europe.
Everyone was so much more open about their secondary genders. It was almost overwhelming at first, the young American so unfamiliar with so many scents hitting his nose at once.
But eventually, he came to like it. He liked everyone being open and true to themselves. And it didn’t matter what you were there, you were treated as an equal. It was amazing.
He probably should have guessed that his upbringing caused his inner wolf to repress itself, but he really didn’t see this coming.
He had been with the Jacob’s family for around a year now. He was so extremely grateful for their hospitality and kindness.
They even showed him how to tune into his wolf side more! Which… is what lead to now.
It was pretty fucking embarrassing, especially since secondary gender health classes were completely overlooked in schools in the south.
He had woken up one day and unbelievable sweaty and clingy. He had dragged himself over to Benny and fell into his arms, whimpering as he nuzzled into his neck comfortingly.
He didn’t know what was wrong. Just that he needed the company of his pack.
Benny knew exactly what was wrong with the pup as soon as he caught the wiff of the citrusy ocean scent. He chuffed to inform his wife of the development, letting her motherly omegan instincts take over as she fussed over the pup before he was thrown into the world of being an omega.
His heat had gone buy somewhat smoothly. He wasn’t craving anything sexual due to his repressed nature, but more so desiring smaller omega comforts, such as making a nest and allowing himself the opportunity to make noises like chirps and purrs.
He knew it would be a long road ahead of him telling his family in America of his presentation. But Oscar had told him that they had absolutely not right to judge him for that when they weren’t even here to see him through it.
At that reassurance, Logan smiled and nodded. Yeah things would suck sometimes, but he was fucking proud to be an omega.
4) Coming Out
He knew knew should have been more fucking careful.
His dad had connections. People didn’t keep their lips sealed.
So when Logan had snuck out to participate in the Ft Lauderdale pride parade, he should have been prepared for his dad standing at the back door where he was trying to sneak in, arms cross and a frown deep on his face.
He should have been prepared, but he was so drunk on the high of being himself. Of being around people just like him. Of spending the whole afternoon with his best friend Kyle, messing around and talking about their dream guys (and girls for the older American)
The sun was just setting outside. His dad had been at work all day and should have just been getting home within the last hour, so hopefully Logan could disguise it as him just wanting to go for a jog on the beach.
Obviously, Luck was not on his side as he gulped, staring at his dads body towering over him, his gaze venomous.
“Care to tell me why a coworker of mine saw you prancing around with all those sissies in the street today?” He asked harshly, his words biting into Logan’s gut like a furious snake.
The younger boy bit his lip as he trembled nervously, stuttering as he tried to think of some sort of excuse but unable to find one.
His brain didn’t have time to catch up when his dad had suddenly grabbed his wrist, dragging him into his room and shutting the door behind him. Logan coward in fear as he shuffled away to his bed, feeling like a scared dog with his tail between his legs.
His dad stared him down before he walked over to the younger boys bookshelf, grabbing a copy of the Bible and throwing it down in front of him.
“You are going to read that entire book, and then when we go to Church on Sunday, you’re going to confess your disgusting sins to the priest so he can rid you of these unholy thoughts. Do you understand me? Nothing else until then. No games, no fishing, nothing. Just you and that Bible. Got it?” He hissed sternly, earning a panicked nod from Logan as he curled into himself, pulling the leather encased book closer to himself.
He waited until his dad left without another word, slamming the door shut behind him.
He tried to swallow the broken feeling inside of his test as hot tears of shame flowed down his cheeks, turning the brown cover of the Bible a slightly darker shade.
The American took some time to gather his wits before swallowing his pain, cracking open the book and beginning to skim his eyes over the words on the thin pages.
5) RSD
Logan was having an off day.
He knew it from the moment he woke up that it would be a shit one emotionally, but he didn’t think it would be this bad.
It started when he had collected his tray of breakfast, wandering around the common area to find a place to sit.
He had spotted Alex’s tall figure from where he sat at his typical table, and was about to go join him on his own spot, but before he could get there, he froze, swallowing as he stared at the Williams employee he hadn’t learned the name of yet sitting in his spot.
It was just a seat. He could find somewhere else. But he couldn’t felt the pang in his chest as he stared hopelessly.
Why didn’t any of the others tell him that’s where Logan sat? Why didn’t Alex say anything?
He shook his nerves out of his brain as he decides to just take his food back to his drivers room and eat alone, ignoring the feeling of emptiness and betrayal in his heart.
~
The second instance was another small incident.
He had made his way over to the McLaren Garage, being welcomed by the team as Oscar chirpily bounded over to him.
“Hey Logie! What’re you doin here?” He asked excitedly, causing the American to smile and pull out his phone.
“I found this really funny video and I wanted to see your reaction to it,” he explains, pulling up the video and pressing play.
The Australian was paying attention to the screen with the upmost focus, before he felt himself suddenly being pulled away by his teammate.
“Cmon Oscar! Zak needs to show us some team stuff. Sorry Logan! You know how it is!” The Brit shouts, causing the Aussie to flash an apologetic expression toward his best friend.
Logan continued standing there with his phone in his hand, the video playing on repeat, but it’s humor gone.
He locked his screen before nodding stiffly and walking off, trying to hold back the crushing feeling of rejection and embarrassment for being so upset over a stupid video.
When he walked back into the garage, he saw the look of concern Benny was shooting his way, very in tune with the Americans way of thinking and obvious to the negative trip to the McLaren garage.
Logan shrugged in response to his worry, focusing his attention on the screens of data in front of him as he tried to push his feelings down.
~
He had never been this unlucky with his interactions in one day.
The last part of the day is when it became too much.
As they were just approaching the end of the season, and his fate was still unsure on if he would stay in Formula 1 or not, when he was alone in his room, his brain often took him to unwelcome places.
He had tried his best. He had put everything he had into this. He had worked his entire fucking life just for this moment. It couldn’t be over in just a year. It couldn’t be.
But it was his fault. Williams just didn’t want him and that’s his fault. He brought nothing to the team but high bills and a lot of hate comments.
Why would they give him a chance.
Of course they’d trade him in for someone who was much more capable at this level.
This was how the thoughts continued into the night, at least until he had curled up in bed with his AirPods in playing his comfort playlist, trying to drown out the noise of his head as tears streamed down his face, wetting the fabric of the pillow cover.
6) Overstimulation
Don’t get him wrong.
The life of a formula 1 driver was great.
It came with a lot of positives, like great pay, tight knit workplace relationships, and traveling the world!
But it was also so loud.
You’d think a kid who grew up racing would be used to the roaring if the engines by now, but some days the loud screeching sound tore at his brain and made him want to curl up under a blanket and not come out. It made him dizzy and overwhelmed. It was too loud it made his ears ring.
He appreciated a good quiet moment. That’s one reason why he loved fishing so much. It was clam and quiet and just the right amount of excitement for that quiet that it didn’t overwhelm him.
But sometimes the scream of the F1 engines and the bright lights of the circuit shining on the track, it all just became a bit to much.
This was one of those times.
It was just free practice, and it wasn’t his turn to hop in the car yet, Alex taking that position.
They were at Singapore, where the lights were blindly bright and the sounds echoed across the pit lane.
Logan could feel the full headache pounding in his head as he turned away from the video screen to find Benny.
After locating his trainer, he tugged on his shirt slightly, letting him know he needed to step away.
The Australian nodded softly, patting the young American’s back as Logan wandered into a quiet and secluded room of the garage, throwing on his AirPods as he played his favorite song, No Man No Cry, letting the sound of the saxophone buzz in his head and give his brain only one thing to focus on.
His hands shook as he curled onto a corner of the floor, hugging himself tightly as he desperately wished for some sort of weight. Hell he’d even settle for a tire blanket at this point, to help ground him.
But alas, he was on his own. And he needed to pull himself together fast before his team needed him and he would be unable to drive the damn car.
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