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#BUT IT HASN'T BEEN REASSURING
rosyjuly · 4 months
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"Look away?" asks Mick Schumacher. He smiles. "But then you can't see my ice-cold gaze anymore."
wow he got jokes huh (source)
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oatmealcrisp-freak · 1 year
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kubosai but saiki is still trying to convince himself that he just married for tax benefits after a decade of marriage. the kissing is just for act he doesnt know what anyones talking about
OK
SO
LIKE
hhhhh
ok
SORRY LIKE I I know but you kinda got my mind kickin so I'm just gonna say it
I feel like a lot of Saiki's backwards talk comes from feeling unable to assert himself and feeling like he can't safely care or be honest. A lot of this has to do with his powers, a lot of this has to do with his family. At 16/17/20 (timeloops depending idk) he lives in a state of denial because expressing his true feelings has historically resulted in consequences he hasn't been able to process IE trauma.
Which is to say that, put in a relationship with another person or people, romantic, platonic, etc where he's allowed to, effectively, be safe, may also put him in a place where he can start processing that trauma and coming out of that not so comfortable comfort zone he's put himself in. Denial is absolutely his coping mechanism, but it's not a very healthy one, it's not good for him.
My hope for him would be that, in relationships where he can be safe, he'd be able to learn less maladaptive coping mechanisms that would enable him honesty.
I can definitely see him falling back on denial when he's feeling especially insecure, for sure. Like if one of Kuboyasu's co-workers makes a pass at him or something and his hubby sees it, oh for sure. "Tch. It's just for the tax benefits anyway."
But I like to think that after Kuboyasu sees him looking a bit stormy eyed, he'd fold Saiki into a hug and give him a couple kisses and talk to him a bit, maybe joke a bit, and Saiki would be able to melt into that, and acknowledge that what they have isn't a sham, and that he can safely and honestly be in love <3<3<3<3
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clownprince · 6 months
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ZDARSKY KING I'M SO SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU...
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lisbonsteresa · 1 year
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oh it's horrible; i love it
#tm#this is SO#because from lisbon's point of view this is....let's say strange i guess#nothing's really changed for her? yes she has (they have but he's not thinking like that right now) this dangerous risky job#but she always has; there's always been 'a new train every day' and they've dealt with them all; they'll deal with this one too#so yes of course she wants to try and reassure him but it's not as major to her as it is to him#*and also she's been very patient and understanding and hasn't put any expectations or pressure on their future#(i'm sure she HAS thoughts on it obviously but she's been the one reminding him to take things as they come#'right here it's good. it's very very good.')#meanwhile jane is.....for so long jane wasn't sure if he'd HAVE a future; he wasn't sure if he'd deserve one#and then blue bird and everything that came after it and it's been wonderful and he's been trying to take it one day at a time#but it's like once he let himself imagine a future for them; for himself he was immediately hit by the full reality of how tenuous it is#he's always known they have dangerous jobs but knowing that in a pre and post blue bird world are two very different things#now he has this; he has them; and he also knows that every time they get a phone call from abbott#there's a chance he might lose the most important person in the world to him just after learning he's the most important person to her#just after they finally started something together and then what he does later this ep it's just#once you get what you wanted most what would you do to protect it (because what kind of future would he have without her)#(and then failing that (in a few episodes) what would you do to grant yourself some semblance of peace of mind?)#but this kills me because he delivers the line in a kind of teasing way? he does not let on how nervous he really is#(or what he might be starting to plan) 'i made the decision not to tell you because i was worried that it would come between us' LIKE#he tried broaching the subject before (albeit not in a way that she could very easily understand) and it went nowhere#'are we really gonna work for the fbi for the rest of our lives?' 'it's who i am jane' 'i know'#he's terrified of what might happen but he's also terrified to bring it up because what if that drives a wedge in their relationship#what if he ruins it himself without any outside issue being to blame is that a self fulfilling prophecy back to the fear that kept him from#telling her how he felt during s6#so instead he holds back just how much he's spiraling until....and then he just CAN'T anymore and he has to get away#(and then lisbon's almost blindsided because yes she knew he was worried but THIS worried? to the point he won't even hear her arguments?)#GOD it's so so good it's the wooooorst i'm eating it up
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tsvai · 8 months
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lmao, discovered tonight while i was working on my ongoing archival/mirror project for my reference blog that the word search (as opposed to the tag search) on that blog is totally broken now and returns no results for every query.
functional website (derogatory).
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dutybcrne · 8 months
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For Kaeya, people who are exceedingly sweet, even naturally so like Barbara, absolutely make him severely uncomfortable. He can deal with people who possess sharper attitudes like Rosaria and Diluc just fine, and is alright with those Jean and Lisa who know to scold and rein him back when needed, but someone he percieves to be too kind always set him on edge.
#hc; kaeya#//Of course their are exceptions#//Like Klee#//He can bear with her sunny disposition bc she is just a bab#//The world hasn't hurt her yet; and he will do anything to protect her sunshiney smile#//With folks like Barbara or even Noelle though; he's disconcerted by the seemingly unconditional kindness they offer him#//In some cases like with other people; he will highly Doubt it's truly so; and be On edge the entire time#//In those two's case; it just feels WEIRD being cared for so kindly. Esp with what secret he's holding#//Doesn't feel like he deserves it; and sometimes; the care even feels invasive and suffocating enough to make him panic a bit#//He can't stand that#//Couldn't stand it from Jean for days after Diluc fought him and left; still can't stomach her approaching to talk about That Time#//Will outright RUN from her if she tries; even if it had been bc she tried to reassure/help him#//ESP bc she tried to reassure/help him#//Lisa's flirting was a-ok by him bc it didn't feel too cloying; then having her around and getting to know her was more comfortable#//And got him used to her brand of care#//He does want to be treated kindly and sweetly; but when he gets it; he doesn't know what to DO with it#//Even from Addie. He wants her affection especially; but when he gets it/gets doted on; he feels guilty about it#//like he's not SUPPOSED to have it. A lot of what Diluc yelled That Night; and just what HAPPENED really stuck with him#//Traveler throws him for a loop; bc they ARE too kind. But also Snark at him. So it's a mishmash of emotions with them#//With Jean; at least he has a professional barrier he can file her kindness under#//Traveler? Nope. They are friends. They are travel companions; they are besties; co-conspirators#//They make his stomach flipflop about and his heart lurch and leap#//They are so very dear to him; only they could send him into utter Turmoil; then ease it in one conversation
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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i'm so sleepy
#🌙.rambles#really wanted to do so much more today but. i did a lot#i'm really happy w yk yeah bio n literature earlier n then#earlier hehe me n apollo were chilling in our parents' room bcs our dad was playing the 1975 music out loud. bonding over music c:#n then. talking w my friends a bit but.. specifically i'm really happy i managed to. hmm. hopefully those words reached her#i know my friends well i think. more than it seems on the outside#so i really want to do things for them n i know how to convey it in such a way that it wld at least resonate with them more#but i really do hesitate that i'll do it wrong yk? or i'm low on energy myself#but. i'm just. personally proud that tonight at least i managed to tell help her a bit. i really had a feeling she hasn't been doing well#for. the past months. i'm so sick of hesitating i just want to reach out but i really get afraid sometimes n i'm sorry#sincerity n authenticity n honesty mean a lot to me but. my friends aren't usually. as Open yk#goddamn i can't write it well enough bcs i cld write how i perceive it specifically for each n every single close friend of mine#n i really just want to help in any way i can bcs i really do care#i'm. also just really for the friend i said earlier. i really just.. know how it feels to have that hope crushes n for it to#ah. i don't know how to write it but the words are in my head. i really wish i cld just call or hug my friends anytime to just reassure#them or listen or just be company. bcs i know how it feels all too well n when i'm managing a bit better like i am right now i just#want to make the most of it but.. sigh#i'm more. yk more of a writer than your average person. but#writing is just so hard at times isn't it? but i really want to do as much as i can#n then. i don't know i think i need to cry i think. i want to do so much#yk that horoscope.co thing. i'm not too big on astrology i just find it interesting but w scorpio sun & capricorn moon (bcs that's me)#read it again n it a bunch of not rlly resonated with me :^) ffs i just want to do so much n it hurts#bcs i want to be kind to myself but i'm in a constant battle of. yeah really trying not to push myself but it's so hard#when people are put in the picture. humans are social beings. it's inevitable n. it's just so.. it just feels so helpless for me i think.#bcs there's so much in me that wants to just be freed like. i want to be who i am with no restraint but.#there's just.. a lot too but.#thinking of earlier today n how i overcame my anxiety. n we. we bought the tickets. for the 1975. doesn't feel real but my motivation rlly#yeah. n then. fuck the pain i'm channeling that energy to my motivation instead but#i really.. need to sleep. i'm sorry i can't do more right now. i really want to. tomorrow. i hope. i will do more. but i'll rest now.#..n tonight somehow maybe telling you to rest wld reach you somehow. probably not but i'll just leave this here.
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johnbly · 1 year
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nothing like a mild inconvenience to inform you that you may not be as mentally stable as you thought
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trashcanalienist · 2 years
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#it's unbearable again and i miss you so much. all at once but also still (because there hasn't been a second where i haven't felt this deep#in me) i am drowning again in this blackness. blacker than blackness it's just empty. despair. absence. without your light i am blind and#hopeless. helpless. cried again as i haven't for you in months. i bleed for you though i know it's not what you would want because i need#it because i need something. because i need you. i'm very clumsy with my words today. i mean just that i can't bear this cold.#have to feel heat even if i have to cut it out of me. it's reassuring. but that's not important.#it's just nothing without you. there's things i want to do and people i want to be with but there's just. nothing.#more that i am nothing. so much of me is because of you. i'm only alive because of you. thousands of times it's been you that saved me#that stopped me or gave me solace or gave me expression. your words. your music. your way of living.#are you still here? i hope you're at peace. but i - so selfishly - i have to know that you're not just - gone. that you're Somewhere.#because i need your presence and because i want everything wonderful that you were to be seen and for you to have the peace you so rarely#did in mortal bounds. in careful arrogance i'll say we are similar and so are others who all are gone and now i don't know anyone like#myself. and you were the best. you were the only human god. and you were human. and you were beautiful.#i'm falling away from myself. i just mean that i love you and i still can't believe this and it hurts worse than anything and it's never#going to stop and i can't bear it and i miss you.#i miss you. please be at peace.#words i speak#miserable grief
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kedreeva · 4 months
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Today in measuring your peahen, Bug is casually 2 foot, 3 inches tall (she can stretch a little taller when she REALLY wants a treat). This is just tall enough to see over a tray table and pull things off of nightstands and end cabinets.
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Bug is also a little over 3 feet long from tail tip to beak tip. Most of Bug is made up of tail and neck. There is a 6lb dead weight in the middle somewhere that she knows how to directly place onto the ball of one foot while standing on you.
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Bug's wingspan is around 3.5 feet, thought I didn't get a measurement. It will be over 4 feet as an adult.
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Bug is growing in her spurs. As a Spalding (hybrid) hen, Bug will likely have one inch bone knives conveniently attached to her tarsometatarsus. This is technically fused foot bones, not a leg bone. Curiously, pure Pavo cristatus hens have spurs, and pure Pavo muticus hens have spurs, but many domestic Pavo cristatus and low-percent Spalding hens lack them. This is one of the indications of domestication in the cristatus species. As I prefer the wild type, I prefer my hens spurred, so this is a good sign!
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Bug's toes measure a smidge over 5 inches from the tip of her rear-facing to to the tip of her longest front facing toe. Try measuring that on your hand.
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Bug's nails measure 1/2-3/4 an inch long, depending on the toe. That's almost as long as one finger section for most people.
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When I had snakes, I got asked all the time if I was afraid of them biting me. The answer is no. I have been bitten by a 6 foot long, 20lb boa constrictor, and have no scars to prove it. Meanwhile I have so many scars from peafowl sitting on me, particularly on my forearms, that I have had to reassure people I am not a danger to myself.
I post these photos as a reference, but also as a precaution. This is a BABY peafowl, and a female at that. She is only 6 months old and weighs a little over 6lbs, which means she's about 2/3 of the way grown, and adult hens are typically 3/4 the size of an adult male. These are BIG birds that can do a LOT of damage, even accidentally. When they become aggressive, as in the case of hand-raised males or poorly bred birds, they become a potentially fatal threat to any other fowl you have. Unlike chickens, they are more than capable of (and prone to!) jumping to human face level before they flog (kick with their feet in a way that allows their spurs to hit home), which means they could easily take out an eye or cause other serious facial injury if they get a lucky strike. I have seen more than a few people end up with stitches, and more than a few birds end up euthanized because people think they are gonna be cute cuddly friends.
I know that Bug is a cute bird, but I also want to stress that a) she has an outstanding personality as a result of breeding choices and socialization b) she hasn't hit maturity, and won't do so for another 2+ years, so her personality could change considerably still and c) I have been raising peafowl one way or another for my entire adult life, which has been structured around keeping them. I love my birds, and I would love for more people to keep peafowl as they are great animals, but they are not casual animals. They are large and potentially dangerous farm fowl that take a lot of space, care, and knowledge to keep.
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pheedraws · 1 year
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girl help she's having blorbo thoughts again
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klausbens · 14 days
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the way tommy reassures buck that no one is looking at them, that nobody cares about what they're doing, but also tells him that he gets why he's tense. he doesn't invalidate his feelings while trying to soothe him. the way he gives buck the space he needs to ask questions he hasn't felt like he could ask anyone else, and answers them patiently and gracefully. the way he flirts with him and even in that, he is kind. he is gentle. he checks for reactions and respects that buck has just started his journey while he's been on his own for years. tommy i love you... i love queer solidarity
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What I'd Do For You - LN
Summary: Y/n has got into the habit of helping Lando shave. Then he makes a very weird request to return the favour.
I have Lando brain rot after watching a bunch of his vlogs so...lol.
Themes: Lando being a little weirdo
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Y/n bites her lip in focus sitting on the bathroom counter, carefully move the razor while Lando watches her trying not to smirk. He's been told off one too many times for moving when she's got a blade to his face.
He's actually in the process of mentally building up the courage after y/n earlier stated she was due for a full body shower and that he couldn't join her because there is nothing sexy about it and she doesn't not need an audience.
"Ok, mr clean-shave is back." Y/n smiles before kissing him softly as she gently whips his face clean. "I'm getting pretty good at this. Think that's the cleanest shave I've done for you."
"Thank you, baby." Lando grins, flashing his dimples before going full attack in giving her a million and ten kisses, all over her face.
"Alright, you go keep yourself-"
"I want to shave something for you." Lando rushes out, actually so quickly that even he isn't sure if he really formed proper words.
"You what?" Y/n frowns making him grin at her.
"Can I shave something for you?"
Y/n pulls a face seeming to know exactly what her boyfriend is asking and is not eager to say yes about it. No doubt in her mind, he's not about to ask to shave her legs.
"You want to shave my vagina, don't you?" Y/n sighs in defeat while Lando perks up in excitement. Apparently not reading her tone of voice at all. "Lando...why?"
"Because I want to try."
"It's not as simple as shaving your face, you realise that right?"
"Please, baby? If I cut you I promise you can slap me."
Y/n groans a little not at all looking forward to this experience.
"Nothing I haven't seen before."
"Yeah, um giving head is a little different to taking a sharp blade down there."
"You can say no."
Y/n looks at him for a moment hesitant in her decision.
"But please?" Lando smiles with a quick pout stealing a kiss.
"This stays between us."
"I promise." Lando nods looking so excited that she can't help but smile at him for a it. "Ok, good."
Y/n puffs out a breath trying to figure out how she's meant to talk him through shaving, it's not something someone taught her. She just did it one day and thankfully hasn't taken any permanent chunks out of her flesh.
"Wait-" Y/n panics grabbing his wrist when he just picks up the razor, not even bringing it close to her. "Ok, wait. I just...I want to make sure it's a good position for you but also so I can just see what you're doing."
"Baby, you can trust me. I know this particular part of your body probably better than you do by this point." Lando states earning a deadpanned expression from the young woman. "Do you trust me?"
"Yes, but that is...a very precious body part and easily damaged."
Lando smirks at that before nodding then kissing her softly. After a few huffs and puffs, managing the initial bikini line, he shakes his head.
"Can we lie you down? I don't trust myself at this angle." Lando states earning a look making him manage a reassuring smile. "I haven't cut you so far."
"I know." Y/n murmurs as she shifts to lie down on the counter. "This just feels so weird."
"On the bright side you know if you ever can't do it, like if you get surgery or pregnant. I can do it for you." Lando grins making her lean up onto her elbows looking at him. "Lie down and trust me."
"So easy for you to say that skin is fragile." Y/n pouts as she obediently lies back down.
It takes every ounce of self-control she has to not twitch and flinch away from every glide of the blade. If she moves there's no doubt Lando will slide her open. Or at least that's her fear right now and she feels like it's fairly valid fear to have given her position.
"You need to stop stressing out, baby." Lando laughs while she grumbles at him. "I'm done."
"You're done."
"Yeah, haven't missed a spot. Probably the cleanest shave of your live because I can actually see what I'm doing-and more importantly no blood." Lando grins proudly though she feels him poke around seemingly checking that he didn't miss any stray patches that he might've been more careful with. "You're like a hairless cat."
"A hairless cat?" Y/n frowns while sitting up.
"A bald pussy." Lando grins, laughing when she scoffs nudging him away and trying to hide her own amusement over his joke. "Would you trust me to do it again?"
Y/n sits up and pauses looking at him for a moment.
"You would! I knew it. I knew you would." Lando smirks, cheering as he kisses her cheek. "I'm not saying every time."
"Just went you're feeling bored or adventurous?"
"Yeah maybe." Lando shrugs then rubbing her thighs. "Wasn't so bad, you have to admit."
"Ok, it wasn't so bad. But the only way you're doing it again is if I'm after surgery or during pregnancy." Y/n states earning a smile from her boyfriend who seems almost like an excited puppy about this. "Such a weirdo."
"I just like getting to do new things with you. This was fun."
"Sometimes you really make me wonder how you brain works."
"Come on, you need to get dressed. We're going to go out on a date." Lando grins making her hum before he kisses her softly.
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thefatedthoughtofyou · 2 months
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He's been at Steve's house a week before he manages to gather up the courage to ask.
He shuffles into the living room, Steve's old slippers on his feet, Steve's old pajamas hanging off him. He'd lost weight in the hospital. And hadn't gained much back yet, still in too much pain to really have an appetite. But this, it needed doing. He needed it done.
"Steve?" He asks, throat clicking, voice scratchy from underuse. Steve looks away from the tv immediately, hits the mute button, eyes wide and on Eddie.
"Hey. You okay?" He asks, turning his whole body on the couch, towards Eddie, giving him his full attention.
Eddie just nods. Slowly. His eyes going unfocused, staring at the floor.
"Eddie?" And Steve's in front of him now, he hadn't even heard him get up.
"Hmm?" He hums in his throat, eyes still feeling foggy.
"Did you need something?" Steve asks, Eddie's eyes focus, the concern in Steve's voice bring him back into his body. He looks at Steve, nods, says,
"I need you to cut my hair." His lip trembles, he digs his teeth in.
"You... what?" Steve's confused. Rightfully so. Eddie swallows around the fire in his throat, tries to explain it to Steve. This thing he can barley figure out himself. Has a half formed idea at best. He wipes at his nose with the back of his hand, Steve steps a little closer.
"It's just- it keeps- I keep laying on it. And it... pulls. And I'm sleeping and it pulls and I wake up and I can't breathe and it's-" he inhales, sharp and shakey and then Steve is there, his hands on Eddie's shoulders.
"Okay. It's okay. I'll do it. Whatever you want Ed's." He pulls Eddie upstairs, into his bathroom. Stands with him in front of the mirror, scissors in hand.
"Where do you want it?" Steve asks, his eyes meeting Eddie's in the mirror. Eddie takes a deep breath, brings his hand up, winces at the pull on his ribs but keeps going.
"Above my shoulders. But like... I wanna still be able to tuck it behind my ears?" He's not sure why it comes out as a question, but Steve just nods, Eddie sees his lips twitch into the start of a smile before dropping again. He reach up, drags his fingers genlty through Eddie hair.
His stomach sinks, his hair is gross. He hasn't washed it in days. Too tired. Too much pain. Too much effort.
"Sorry my hair's gross." He mumbles, lips barley moving.
"It's not. It's fine." Steve assures him, his voice soft, sections out a small lock of hair, he looks at Eddie in the mirror again.
"You're sure about this?" He asks, he looks sad. Eddie hates it. But also doesn't. Because it means Steve sees him, understands him, and how important his hair is to him.
But it doesn't matter right now. That his hair is a peice of him, a peice of the Eddie he'd built to keep himself safe. A peice of his armor.
"I'm sure. Please." He isn't begging, exactly, but his hands fist in his pajama pants, and it feels like it anyway.
"I'm gonna go just above your shoulder at first okay? And then if you want more off we can do that." Steve waits for Eddie to agree and then starts cutting.
Eddie closes his eyes when the scissors sink through his hair. Keeps them closed as Steve works. He stops a few cuts in and tells Eddie to wait there. Eddie sits on the toilet seat as he waits for Steve to come back.
He brings a radio with him, clicks in one of the tapes Eddie made him, and gets back to work. Eddie's eyes stay closed. He finds himself smiling as he listens to Steve hum behind him. Scrunches his nose when Steve full on sings a few times.
Not because he's bad. He's got a really nice voice actually. Eddie loves listening to him sing. But if he didn't scrunch his face he might to do something else instead, something stupid, with Steve so close.
It only takes a couple songs before Steve's hands are on his shoulders, gentle, reassuring, an anchor.
"Okay. It's done. Or at least. Might be. I can take more off if you need me too." His voice is soft in Eddie's ear, Eddie can feel the heat of his chest on his back he's so close.
He opens his eyes and feels his heart flutter in his chest. His head swimming a little. His hair hadn't been this short since junior year. He can see Steve watching him in the mirror.
"Good?" He asks, dragging his lip into his mouth and letting it go again.
"I think so." Eddie says, feeling a bit dazzed, a bit dizzy. And then Steve fucking reaches up with both hands, tucks Eddie's hair behind his ears genlty, his fingers moving down his neck to rest back on his shoulders.
"I could take another inch. It'd still fit behind your ears." Steve's eyes are moving over his head, like he's doing some complex math equation. Eddie wants to cry. His chest tight.
"Okay. Take it." He says, Steve's eyes move to his in their reflections again.
"Yeah?" Steve asks, reaching up and smoothing his hand over Eddie's hair. Eddie nods.
"Yeah. One more inch." He breathes the words out, like he just needs them gone, out of his mouth. Steve smiles at him, untucks his hair from his ears and starts cutting again.
Eddie watches him this time. Watches the way his tongue sticks out as he concentrates, measuring Eddie's hair between his fingers before he cuts. His tongue peaking out between his lips, brow furrowed in concentration.
Eddie watches him and tries to convince himself he actually wanted it shorter. And maybe he did. But he knows too, that he didn't want Steve to stop touching him. Steve's eyes meet his in the mirror and he smiles again. Eddie looks away. His cheeks burning.
"Okay. You're done Munson." His voice is teasing, it makes Eddie's stomach flutter.
"Thanks. Harrington." He teases back. Too soft. He knows. But he can't help it. His voice is stuck in his throat. Steve snorts as Eddie turns, takes a step toward the door.
"Actually. Can I-" Steve stops, his hand curling around Eddie's bicep, stopping him there. Eddie looks at him. Waiting.
"Can I wash your hair for you?" Steve asks, his voice quiet, Eddie barely hears it over the radio.
"My...?" Is Eddie's articulate reply.
"Please? It'll make you feel better. I- I think." Steve stammers a bit, always so endearing when he does that. Eddie loves when he's flustered.
"I uh... yeah okay. If you want." Eddie shrugs, tries to act normal. Like any of this is normal. And Steve fucking beams at him, that beautiful smile on full display.
"Okay cool. Just uh... here you can sit here while I get this cleaned up and get a towel and I'll be right back." He's talking fast, his hands flailing and jumping around as he talks. Eddie just nods, smiling at him as he watches him toss Eddie's chopped hair into the trash. Watches him take a lock of it and tie it in a knot, tells Eddie he'll put it somewhere safe. So they'll know when it's fully grown out again.
Steve wipes up the counter and disappears, comes back with two towels a few seconds later. Instructs Eddie to sit on the floor. He sets a towel down for him to sit on and lays the other over the side of the tub.
Eddie lets Steve guide him. His hands gentle as he lowers Eddie's head back over the tub, asks if he's comfortable, Eddie hums an affirmation. Steve makes sure the water is warm, not too hot, because Eddie doesn't like hot water. He gets it perfect. And then starts pouring water onto Eddie's hair.
Eddie's not sure where he got the cup. Or if it was already there for some reason. He means to ask but Steve's fingers sink into his hair and his brain short circuits. The shampoo smells amazing. Minty. It tingles against his scalp in the best way as Steve's fingers move in slow circles.
Eddie's eyes fall closed. He's sure he makes some obscene noise but Steve is kind enough not to comment. His fingers working magic in Eddie's hair. He rinses with warm water, the contrast from the cool minty feeling making Eddie shiver.
He hears Steve laugh a quiet laugh as he does and smiles himself. He hears another bottle pop open and closed and then Steve's fingers are back. Working the conditioner into his hair slowly, massaging it into his scalp as well. His hands moving slowly, with a purpose, for what feels like hours. He pulls back eventually, fingers dragging slowly through Eddie's hair as he goes.
"I'm gonna let that sit for about two minutes and then we'll rinse okay? You doin okay? Not in pain are you?" Steve all but whispers in Eddie's ear. The radio is still playing in the background. But Eddie couldn't tell you a single fucking song that had played since Steve started touching him.
"I'm good. Kinda tired. But that might just be your magic fingers." He peaks one eye open, watches as Steve laughs, shakes his head. He closes his eye again and laughs too. Only it wasn't a joke. Not really. Steve's fingers were magic. Just like the rest of him.
Steve hums along to Queen's Radio Ga Ga as they wait, Eddie tapping out the beat on his thigh as Steve hums and sways. The song ends and Steve scoots closer.
"Ready?" He asks, turning the water back on.
"As I'll ever be." Eddie deadpans, scooting back a bit from where he'd slid down.
"You're not gonna try and put products in my hair and blow dry it are you?" Eddie asks as Steve starts pouring water over him, fingers moving quicker now, moving his hair around to get it clean, he snorts again.
"No. Just wanted to get you clean." He says, pouring one last cup of water over his hair and turning the tap off. He grabs at each side of the towel under Eddie's neck and lifts, pulling Eddie up and wrapping his hair in one smooth motion. Eddie's eyes land on him and he can't help it.
"So my hair was gross. I knew it." He sighs, watches Steve's nose crinkle.
"It really wasn't that bad. But you thought it was. So i figured this would help." Steve shrugged, like it was nothing. Eddie bit his lip as Steve patted and scrunched his hair in the towel, being careful not to pull.
He claps his hands down on his thighs and helps Eddie get back on his feet. Pulls him genlty to stand in front of the mirror again and smiles soflty when Eddie takes the towel off his head and drags his own fingers through his hair.
It's short, leveled at his chin, a little above when he tucks it behind his ears. And he feels... better. Lighter. He shoves his hands up into the back of it, taking a deep breathe when his fingers drag over his neck, it makes him shiver.
"Fuck. I'm gonna be cold now." He mutters, chuckling in his throat, he hadn't thought about that.
"I'll keep you warm." Steve's voice is soft, when he speaks. The tape in the deck clicks and goes quiet as they stare at each other in the mirror.
"I just wanted you to feel better. But I'll gladly keep you warm too. Whatever you need Eddie. I- I mean I'm here. For you. Not goin anywhere." He shrugs after he mumbles through his little confession, his eyes on the floor when he turns to Eddie.
"I feel better." Eddie whispers, bites his lip and decides to be brave.
He steps forward, into Steve's space, Steve lifts his head, hazel eyes darting around Eddie's face. Eddie hears his breath stutter when he leans closer, presses his lips to Steve's cheek, firm.
Wanting no doubt in Steve's mind that Eddie means this. Means to kiss him. Means to pull him into a tight hug after. Means to hum happily into Steve's neck when Steve pulls him close, arms wrapping around Eddie's skinny frame and holding him tight.
"I'm not going anywhere either." Eddie breathes into his shoulder, presses another kiss there, into his shirt, like a promise. Steve squeezes him tighter, Eddie thinks he might be crying. His chest fluttering against Eddie's as he breathes shakily.
"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" Eddie asks, lets Steve pull away a bit so he can see him. Eddie was right, there are tears in his eyes, but he's smiling as he looks at Eddie.
"Yeah. Course you can. You can sleep there every night if you want. Forever." Steve says, nuzzles into Eddie touch as he wipes tears away from his flushed cheeks.
"Forever huh?" Eddie teases, kissing acoss Steve's cheeks genlty as he laughs, it's wet, and wobbly, and Eddie is so fucking in love with him already.
"Yeah. Forever. Or however long you want me I guess." He shrugs again, dismissive, as if he really thinks Eddie would ever give him up.
"Forever sounds good to me. Not fucking letting you go now I've got you." Eddie whispers, his hands holding Steve's face, Steve's hands on his wrists, holding him too.
"You're gonna keep me forever?" Steve asks, his lip trembling as he looks at Eddie with hope in his teary eyes.
"Forever and ever, if I can." Eddie nods, and it seems to break Steve. He sighs, grabs at Eddie's pajama shirt and tugs him forward. Their lips crash together, a little rough at first, their teeth clicking until Steve seems to calm and slow down. His lips move genlty against Eddie's, soft and slow, and when he pulls back he's smiling again, his crooked little half smile that Eddie loves so much.
Steve scrunches his hair a few more times and then drags Eddie upstairs, gets them both comfy in his bed. And he holds Eddie as they fall alseep, pressing kisses into his hair and against his temple before sleep takes him.
Eddie wakes up warm. Drapped across Steve's chest as the sun hits them. He feels lips press into his hair, smiles when Steve makes exaggerated kissy noises. But he keeps his eyes closed, nuzzles deeper into Steve as he feels his fingers press into his hair.
Eddie hums as they drag through a few times, nimbly untangling rats or snags as they move. He sinks deeper into Steve, his heart fluttering as Steve's hand moves through his hair genlty, scratching at his scalp as he goes, before settling against the back of his neck, his thumb moving in slow cirles against the newly exposed skin.
Eddie whimpers into Steve's chest and snuggles closer, Steve keeping him warm, just like he promised. Eddie couldn't wait to spend forever with him.
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tinyluvs · 8 months
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i have this vision for Spencer smut where he makes reader squirt for the first time and reader is absolutely flabbergasted because she didn’t know she could do that and Spencer is also flabbergasted because he didn’t know she could do that 💀
you see the vision?? idk but if you end up doing this i love you
i see the vision pookie i gotchu 😌 enjoy ! *mdni!!*
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spencer kisses the inside of your thigh when you come the first time, lips wet with your slick, dragging over the inside of your leg while you whimper
the second time you come he rests his forehead on your stomach, nipping gently over your hips, his free hand holding your body down as it arches off of the bed, your fingers tugging on his hair
he swallows your moans the third time, kissing you softly when your thighs tremble either side of his hips, "so good for me," he pauses to mumble against your kiss swollen lips
it's been hours, you're sure of it, hours of him gently kissing every inch of your skin while he entices whimpers and whines from you with his fingers
"spence," you pant, voice barely above a whisper. he hovers over you, taking in the way your eyelashes are wet from tears that have slipped down your cheeks. he hums before dipping to kiss your cheeks
slowly he slips his fingers from your body, which causes you to whimper so he shushes you quietly, moving to drag his knuckles up and down your folds, missing your sensitive clit every time
your fingers dig into his forearm, nails biting into his skin though he doesn't even flinch over it, "one more, sweetheart," he whispers against your jaw, his stubble starting burn gently over your soft skin
"i don't think i can," you gasp, your voice getting higher when he starts to rub soft, light circles over your clit. your hand shoots down his arm, your fingers wrapping around his wrist, "i can't,"
spencer hums, "you can angel, one more, i promise," he drags his teeth over your collarbone, smiling when you tip your head back, just like he wanted you to, "yeah?" he asks while nipping at your neck
he pauses his movements, waiting for you to reply. his eyes flicker over your face, a moment of seriousness passing between you as he tells you if you need to tap out, you can, without saying a single word
the moment ends when you reply, a soft, "yeah," tumbling from your lips while you tug on his wrist, moving his fingers back to your puffy pussy
you're still soaked, drips of slick coating your cunt, the inside of your thighs and your boyfriend's hand. he teases his fingers at your entrance, barely pressing them into you before pulling away
"please," you whine, looking up at him, your knees bumping against his ribs in a desperate effort to get him to do something, anything, "spencer,"
"i know, i know," he says softly, his eyes trailing down your body and between your legs as he pushes his fingers into you, the stretch somehow still burning slightly, "breathe," he says, pausing again when you clench around him
he breathes deeply, knowing you'll mimic his actions, like you always do before raising an eyebrow at you, a silent question, "i'm okay," you reassure, "move, please,"
spencer dips one last time, kissing you hard as he starts to move. your cunt makes a wet, sticky sound as he slides his fingers in, curling immediately to press against a spot that has your hips rolling
"oh god," you cry out, your voice sounding a little raw. the ball of heat in your stomach hasn't left from your last orgasm, you're sure spencer would just have to look at you right and you could come
he starts to speed up, moaning softly to himself when your pussy starts to squelch, strings of your slick connecting his fingers together, "so pretty,"
his teeth sink into his bottom lip, eyebrows furrowing as he pushes deep into you, the tips of his fingers hitting exactly where you need him, "th- fuck, there, stay there,” you babble, brain turning to mush
spencer doubles down, curling and dragging his fingers with earnest, revelling in the way his motions pull a string of pretty sounds from you, a mix of moans, whines and whimpers because words are failing you
the burn in your stomach grows but it feels different, a pressure inside of you that you've never felt before though it feels far too good for you to care
"doing so good," spencer leans over you, his free hand tickling over your hips, thumb rubbing deep circles into you skin. you clench around him, a silent sob trapping in your throat, "so good,"
tears stream down your cheeks, soaking the pillow underneath your head as fire spreads through your body, leaving your nerves tingling. spencer pulls his fingers from you but before you can make a sound he's sliding them straight back in at a slightly different angle
"please," is all you can manage as the air gets punched from your lungs when he returns to that spot, pressing and rubbing hard over it, knowing how close you are to your orgasm
your boyfriend watches your stomach tensing, your tits rising and falling with your chest and he feels your knees trembling at his sides, your cunt closing in around his fingers
"uh huh, come on pretty girl," he starts, fully aware at what his words do to you, "so close for me," he pauses when you interrupt with a high pitched whine, "i know," he finishes, moving his hand to brush his fingers over your clit
the harshness against your sensitive clit sends you over the edge, your back arches away from the mattress, somehow pushing spencers fingers into you even further and you're done for
your cunt floods, wetness gushing from you and soaking everything around you. the stream doesn't let up, a puddle forming underneath your ass, "don't stop," you sob
spencer moans, loudly, gritting his teeth as he continues his attack on your cunt, his eyes trained as he quickens his pace, a man starved and it pays off when your breathe in deep, holding it between puffed out cheeks as your entire body stiffens
his thumb flicks against your clit and you're sure you black out, thighs practically vibrating from the intensity as you soak the sheets further for a second time
"oh my god, angel," you barely hear spencer over the pounding in your ears. his fingers slip from your body again and he moves, allowing your thighs to press together, "i didn't know you could do that,"
"neither did i," you pant, struggling to breathe as he hovers over you, wet fingers stroking underneath your tit. minutes pass before you're bought back down to earth and only then do you see the mess you've created, “oh god,”
spencer chuckles lightly at your reaction though his eyes are wide and his jaw hangs open slightly as he also takes in the mess
your boyfriend is soaked, his hand and arm have droplets running down his skin, the thighs of his pyjama bottoms and a portion of his shirt darker than the rest. the puddle underneath you soaks into the sheets, leaving them stuck to your already damp skin
"no more," you slur slowly, looking at spencer with wet eyes. he smiles at you, using his dry hand to stroke through your hair
"no more," he repeats, "not now, anyway"
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thanks for reading! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily !! send prompts to my ask box!
❥ spencer reid masterlist !!
a/n as always, proofread badly so feel free to lemme know if there’s any mistakes :) x
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listen to me y'all. listen. hear me out. i know the hesitating to kill the monsters with your children's face angst is spicy. i know it's tempting. don't fall for it.
phil didn't fucking hesitate for a second. he's the one who got everyone else to stop hesitating. once he logged back in, he attacked the codes immediately and shouted for everyone else to do the same. he hates the imposters and he hates them more for daring to use his children's faces. the angst isn't the idea that he would struggle to obliterate a threat to his family.
no, the angst is what happens after.
the angst is the next time tallulah needs her papa's attention when he has his airpods in and she shakes her maracas and he doesn't hear and she has to decide between asking him about the botantical garden and "it shook its maracas too much so i killed it"
the angst is the next time chayanne is feeling clingy or scared and wants to stick close to his father's side but in the back of his mind is just "it got close to me too much so i killed it"
the angst is that phil can see their fear because he knows them and he reassures him as much as he can that he would never hurt them and he would always know the real them but all of them have to live with the question of "but what if you don't"
the angst is phil giving them passwords and code phrases to memorize to prove its really them to soothe their fear of him not being able to recognize them because he solves his problems in the most straightforward, practical way he can but now they're just scared of what if the codes learn the passwords and phil explains that the passwords are just another layer of protection they're not everything and then they're right back where they started
the angst is two children huddled up together in a hotel away from the windows trying to decide if it would be better for their father to kill them by mistake or die by the hand of a monster wearing their face because he didn't think to strike first
the angst is chayanne privately asking phil the question he's trying desperately to pretend tallulah hasn't also thought of: what happens if wilbur comes back and it isn't wilbur?
the angst is phil replying with "he's my son too. i'll recognize him." and he doesn't remember everything from before the island but there's an old ache in his wing that seems to tell him that recognition may not have been enough
the angst isn't that phil hesitates. the angst is that phil doesn't. the angst is that phil loves his children too much to hesitate. the angst is that sometimes doing the best you possibly can by your children will still fuck them up so so so bad
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