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bleachluna · 3 years

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Letters

Ended up skipping day 2 of @hitsukarinweek as I had no ideas for it but here’s my fic for day 3! Also on AO3

Dear Toshiro,

Can you please explain to me how the hell Soul Society managed to copy mobile phones from humans, and even put hollow tracking technology in them, but didn't make them able to send stuff across realms? I know you explained that SS phones in soul society can only contact those in soul society, and when they're here in the human world they can only contact those here, but I only realised how ridiculously stupid that is until after you left. What if there's an emergency and you need to contact someone across realms for whatever reason? Surely you need to get this fixed, I cannot believe if I want to talk to you I'm stuck writing letters like it's the 1800s. I'm even writing more formally than I expected, apparently letter writing brings it out of me and I absolutely hate it. You've gotta fix it. Not to mention I'm not a fan of leaving letters for Urahara to pass on for me, I'm not totally convinced he won't read them.

Anyway, it's been a couple of months since I saw you last. That's probably a good thing, that a captain hasn't been needed here, but I'll admit I wonder about you sometimes, I hope everything is ok on your end! I don't know what it was about turning sixteen but all of a sudden all of this stuff about trying to figure out careers is on me constantly. Yuzu figured out years ago that she wanted to go into healthcare, she took to it way back when we were kids. She was originally planning to go into nursing but her grades have improved a lot recently, she might be a doctor instead, but she's also thinking about midwifery. So there's stuff she's gotta figure out for sure, but at least she knows what area she wants to go into? I don't even have that. I mean how do you figure out what to do with the rest of your life when you're sixteen? I haven't even figured myself out yet. How did you decide to become a shinigami?

Other than that though things are ok. School is a little stressful because grades suddenly feel so much more important, but the work's manageable at least. Hollow level seems to be stable at the minute too which is great, one less thing to worry about! And Urahara improved his reiatsu blocking bracelet thing, I've had this one for almost four months and it hasn't broken so even less chance of getting eaten! Always a plus. But anyway, I hope things are good on your end as well, and that you aren't buried up to your ears in paperwork. Let me know if you ever have any plans to pop up in the human world!

Best Wishes,

Karin

P.S. - I sent this on the 22nd of June, let me know when this gets to you/when you send yours, I wanna know what sort of delivery time we're looking at here.

- - - - -

Dear Karin,

I don't even remotely have the skills or know-how to fix something like that, that's what the Research & Development Team is for. I agree it's a little daft that our mobile phones can't send things across realms, but I'm sure said team knows this and is likely working on it, as you said, it would be unfortunate in an emergency situation. Plus I know Urahara can be a little eccentric, but do you really think he'd read the letters? I'm sure it's fine.

It is a good thing I've not been needed, the last thing Karakura needs is more trouble and destruction. Have they managed to rebuild that major bridge you were talking about yet? Everything is alright here, or at least in my division anyway. I've been kept busy recently, a set of students graduated from the academy last month so I've had 18 new recruits to introduce to squad 10. As for the careers stuff, I honestly assumed from the work you did here and there for the clinic that you were interested in healthcare as well, I take it that's not actually the case then? Do you at least have rough ideas of the sort of thing you'd want to go into? I'm not sure I'll be much help in that respect, I can't wrap my head around half of the jobs that seem to exist in the human world. In some ways I had it easier, the choice was out of my hands. My reiatsu was getting stronger and Hyorinmaru came to me before I even knew what was happening, I needed to go to the academy to make sure my reiatsu didn't become dangerous, therefore I became a shinigami. I never had to wonder what to do with myself in terms of employment.

I'm glad to hear things are going well with you, I'm certainly glad to hear you don't have to worry as much about the bracelet breaking. Is your reiatsu still increasing? If it's stabilising that might be part of why this new bracelet is managing better. I know you're not particularly interested in getting involved with shinigami stuff, which frankly I agree with, but if your reiatsu is still increasing I do think it's worth training you to hide it properly. I am unfortunately always at least a little buried in paperwork, particularly recently with the new recruits, but it's manageable. I don't think I'll be in the human world soon, but I will let you know if I plan to.

Best Wishes,

Toshiro

P.S. - I got your letter on the 2nd of July, I should be handing this letter over to be sent on the 4th, schedule permitting.

- - - - -

Dear Toshiro,

Well I hope you make sure that the research team are working on it, because this really is ridiculous. And you're kidding right? I trust Urahara about as far as I can throw him, which is probably all of three feet.

The bridge is still being rebuilt, but I think they're in the last stages now thank god. All the diversions needed really messed with the traffic, maybe I can finally stop leaving the house half an hour earlier just to get to my soccer club. It's supposed to be twenty minutes max by bus and it's been taking easily twice that. Let me know if you find out which shinigami it was that released their zanpakuto on that bridge, I have some choice words for them.

An entire class of students graduated and you only got 18 newbies at the tenth? Was it a small class or is that the normal kind of numbers you see? I assumed there's like, thousands and thousands of shinigami, is there less than I thought? Is that why I only ever see you and Rukia besides the dude who's currently stationed here? And I don't know about going into healthcare, that's my whole problem! I don't know what I want. Healthcare is fine but I don't feel like it's my life purpose to go into it either so yeah, I don't know. Healthcare would be alright, sports would be cool maybe? But I don't think there's a whole lot of sports careers outside of professional (which is definitely not happening) or teaching, and I'm not convinced I'm the teacher type. I just don't seem to have this strong urge to go in a particular direction like Yuzu does. But wow, I didn't know that, you basically HAD to train to be a shinigami? I didn't know that was a thing that could happen, that your reiatsu can go that far on its own. That kind of sucks though doesn't it? That you had no choice? I hope you enjoy being a shinigami at least.

To be honest I think my reiatsu probably is still going up. I don't think it's as quick as it was before, it's settled a little bit, probably because there hasn't been much danger around recently, but I do think it's still inching up. Is that a huge issue? Obviously it became a huge issue with you so now I'm kinda nervous. I'm not gonna get kidnapped into the shinigami am I? I can train to hide my reiatsu without actually becoming a shinigami right? Frankly I trust you more on this than Urahara. And you better let me know in advance if you can, Yuzu says she wants to make you those dumplings you liked again.

Best Wishes,

Karin

P.S. - I got excited at first thinking that sending these took less than two weeks, that didn't seem that bad considering we're sending them via Urahara whenever someone comes through realms, but then your letter took almost a month to come, it arrived on the 27th :( I'm handing this letter over on the 28th.

- - - - -

Dear Karin,

The Research & Development Team is not under my command, they belong to the twelfth, I cannot make sure that they're working on it, but I shall ask at the next opportunity I get. I think you're selling yourself short, I'm sure you could get at least five feet, but I do see your point, I can't say I fully trust him either, not on an individual basis anyway. I trust him to want the best for everybody, and to work towards that, but I don't think he pays attention to what that means for the individuals in the situation. More of a 'the end justifies the means' sort of person from what I've heard. And I'm afraid I have no idea who it was who damaged the bridge, but given they were fighting a powerful hollow at the time I imagine it was the correct course of action. Better on the bridge than in the middle of town.

I get the impression there is less shinigami than you think. Most squads have just over two hundred or so members, so 18 new recruits is actually a pretty good year. As for why you only really see me or Vice-Captain Kuchiki, it's a combination of needing a strong enough shinigami to deal with the sort of problems that crop up in Karakura, while also needing said shinigami to have a vague clue on how to navigate the human world. Vice-Captain Kuchiki presumably has rather extensive knowledge having lived in the human world for months, and I've been known to visit for years so they know I'm alright with being there as well. I think it's alright to not have an idea of a 'life's purpose' when you're in your second year of high school. Maybe just pick something for now as a sort of in-between while you continue working out what it is you want? Sometimes a job is just a job after all. You could always try a career in sports and see how it goes if it interests you now, and switch later on? I'm sure you'll figure something out. I'll admit I was definitely reluctant to train as a shinigami at first, it was never something I wanted originally, so it was hard to deal with to begin with I suppose, but I don't mind it these days. It's stressful, but at least I'm doing something where I'm trying to keep people safe, that suits me well enough.

Unfortunately yes, in my case my reiatsu continuously going up was an issue, but I don't think it's as serious with you. Firstly, you've not got a zanpakuto knocking on your subconscious as far as I know (the telltale giveaway is weird dreams where someone/something is trying to talk to you and tell you it's name, in case you were worried about that), and the people around you aren't vulnerable. You're unlikely to cause issues with your reiatsu because everyone around you has some degree of spiritual power already. As for the other questions, I certainly hope you won't be kidnapped into the shinigami, and I don't think your brother or even Urahara would let that happen, but it's possible you'll get Soul Society's attention if it keeps going unchecked. Of course with Urahara keeping on eye on it and keeping the reiatsu blocking bracelet on you, I'd argue that it's largely taken care of and shouldn't get other shinigami on you. There isn't much shinigami training you can do without becoming a shinigami, but you can learn to withdraw and hide your reiatsu even as a human so don't worry about that. I would say to ask your brother but he's never been very good at controlling his, Urahara is your other option, or possibly Vice-Captain Kuchiki if she's around. Or if those don't work out and your reiatsu gets to a point where you're truly worried about it let me know, I'll train you in it myself if it comes to it. Also, I appreciate the thought but your sister doesn't need to go to trouble like that for me.

Best Wishes,

Toshiro

P.S. - I got your letter on the 17th of August. I think it's safe to say they take anywhere from over a week to just under a month to arrive each time.

- - - - -

Dear Toshiro,

Let me know what the research team says! If they say they're not working on it please heavily suggest that they do, and if they say they are working on it, please ask how long they think it'll take them. Just think how much easier communicating would be if we could just call each other. The end justifies the means is EXACTLY Urahara's vibe, which is exactly why I don't really trust him. So yeah, it wouldn't even remotely surprise me if he's been reading these the entire time, better to assume the worst and be pleasantly surprised than the other way around. I suppose you have a point about the bridge being a better location than in the middle of a bunch of people, I'll put up with inconvenient travel times over unnecessary death.

Only a little over two hundred per squad? There is less than I thought! That's way less than your average university over here, that's crazy! 18 newbies is good in that case, your squad must be pretty popular. And no wonder I only really ever see you or Rukia, you guys clearly need to work on getting more people up to the speed with the human world or you're gonna end up over-worked! I guess I could just go for sports now and switch later? I don't know, you kinda get it into your head that you've gotta figure out what you want and stick to it, but I guess there's nothing actually stopping me from changing paths later. Once school goes back in I'm gonna get a meeting and talk to the careers lady, see what she says. I'm glad you're alright with being a shinigami now, hopefully it isn't stressful too much of the time.

Well, I'll take your word for it, you know more than me on this but I'm still kinda wary. You're right that there's no zanpakto trying to get my attention so far at least so that's something. If I do get kidnapped by the shinigami I'm trusting you to break me back out, but yeah that is kind of the whole point of the bracelet, that it blocks off my reiatsu from others so hollows can't find me so easily (and shinigami apparently, yeesh) so hopefully this won't actually be an issue. I don't really want to ask Urahara to train me but I will if I have to I guess. Asking Rukia's a good idea though! I'll ask whenever she next pops up, she seems like she'd be good at that sort of thing, maybe that'll solve this whole situation. Or you know, you, if you happen to come sooner, whoever comes to the human world next I guess! I'd feel better knowing that I myself could do the thing the bracelet's doing. Although I do have a question, how do you do it in your sleep? Or is it not possible and you're just vulnerable a third of the time? That seems unfortunate. Also you're kidding right? Cooking is the primary way my sister shows her care and affection, if she wants to cook for you there's no stopping her so you can at least give us notice so we can get ingredients and stuff.

Best Wishes,

Karin

- - - - -

Dear Karin,

I will let you know what the research team says as soon as it actually comes up. I can see your point, I suppose it is better to plan for the worst and be pleasantly surprised otherwise. Good to see you have your priorities in order, is the bridge finally finished though?

I remember being surprised by the size of your high school, I assume universities are even bigger? Must be an administrative nightmare to keep track of all those students, I feel like I can have a hard enough time with the 226 members I have. Squad 10 was surprisingly popular this year, the only other squads who had numbers like that were the sixth and the eleventh, both of which always have high numbers. We did have 'human world' classes at the academy at one point, but they ended up being scrapped a decade or so ago, any information learned was rendered almost completely obsolete within a few years, meaning the stuff the students learned was more or less useless by the time they were actually getting stationed in the human world. These days we just give a brief information pack about the human world before they leave, currently being updated semi-regularly by Vice-Captain Kuchiki. Meeting with a staff member whose job it is to deal with career pathways certainly sounds like a good idea, I hope it goes well if it hasn't already taken place.

Once again, I certainly hope Soul Society would try such a thing, it would be incredibly stupid considering I don't think your brother, who damn near took on the whole of Soul Society and pretty much came out on top, would ever let you get kidnapped in the first place. And I'm fairly sure me, a captain, breaking out someone Soul Society captured is probably considered treason of some kind, but I can promise I'll be in your corner one way or another. Not to mention, I don't think most shinigami would be prepared for you anyway, most are too used to sword combat, I don't think the average shinigami would handle your hand to hand very well. I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about. As for hiding your reiatsu in your sleep, generally speaking you just practice it enough that it becomes second nature, most shinigami do it subconsciously after a while, including in sleep, although nightmares and the like can interfere a little bit. Your sister has met me what, three times? She feels strongly enough to cook for me? It really is unnecessary although I'm sure the thought is kind. I did say I'd give you notice if I came to the human world though, our sensors are showing an increase in hollow activity in Karakura recently. We're currently just monitoring, we're holding off for now as it might be temporary, but if it gets worse I'm coming to monitor the situation properly and to make sure no incidents happen with the hollow increase. Judging from the current rate, if it keeps going as is I'll probably be there in two weeks or so. With any luck this letter will arrive before I do but if not, I'll make sure to meet up with you somewhere.

Best Wishes,

Toshiro

- - - - -

Dear Toshiro,

Your letter got here super quick, less than a week after I sent mine! Looks like there's increased shinigami activity to match the hollow activity, which boy, you're not kidding that its increased. My reiatsu's jumped up again and I couldn't tell you if it was a response to all the hollows around, or that the hollows arrived because of me. I really hope it's the former. Hopefully you'll be here soon! I think I could do with the training sooner rather than later and if I'm being honest I'd feel safer. But anyway, in response to your letter:

The bridge is actually finished! Just in time for the increased hollows to fuck it up again I'm sure! Most universities are like 10,000 to 30,000 easy, and I think some are bigger than that? So yeah, only two hundred or so shinigami per squad is insane to me. I'm pretty sure the universities have whole administrative teams just for the purpose, does your squad have an admin person at all or is it just you? When I first found out about the shinigami I didn't think I'd sit here wondering about the bureaucracy of it all but here I am. Oh wow I would've loved to sit in one of those human world classes, would've been hilarious I bet. At least you give newly stationed people something, I imagine the culture shock must be a bit much, I'm sure Rukia's information is very accurate given how much time she's spent here. And the careers meeting is actually in two days, I kinda nervous about it to be honest, but hopefully it'll be helpful.

Well I suppose when you put it that way Soul Society kidnapping me would very much be poking the bear huh? I'm extremely saddened to hear that you wouldn't commit treason for me though, what kind of friendship is this??? But I suppose I'll take comfort in you being 'in my corner one way or another', whatever that means. Does it mean in the event of soul society kidnapping me and forcing me to be a shinigami you'd immediately put me in your squad? That's the vibe I'm getting. But that's good to know about the hand to hand combat and the reiatsu withdrawing while still asleep, I'll bear those both in mind. As for your potential visit, given hollows seem to be popping up left right and centre I'm assuming you're probably coming in a week or so, I'll look out for your arrival! I get the impression this letter isn't going to get to you before you arrive in the human world but just in case it does I'll let you know, Yuzu added the dumpling ingredients onto her shopping list. That means you've gotta be at our house for at least one dinner! Consider it repayment for the training I'm gonna demand from you.

Hope you get here safe,

Karin

#hitsukarin #hitsukarinweek #hitsukarinweek2021 #toshiro hitsugaya #karin kurosaki #bleach #my writing #once again strongly recommend reading this on the blog itself or ao3 #the dash formatting is not great and this is a little under 4k

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letterboxd · 3 years

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Found Family.

Riders of Justice writer-director Anders Thomas Jensen opens up to Aaron Yap about grimly funny fairy-tales, woke teenagers and creating an accidental Christmas movie with hunky muse, Mads Mikkelsen.

“Genres, that’s just a sales tool really. That’s to give people, show people, ‘are we having sushi or are we having Italian?’ Sometimes I like it when you don’t know what you’re getting.” —Anders Thomas Jensen

It’s stupidly easy to sell writer-director Anders Thomas Jensen’s new film Riders of Justice on its thirsty pulp appeal alone. Who can resist the promise of Danish acting force Mads Mikkelsen finally getting a decent John Wick-ish vehicle of his own, stoically meting out anguished, bloody vengeance to a cadre of underworld thugs? Certainly not, among many Letterboxd members, Harlequinade, who was moved to write this ode:

“MikkelGod sporting a bushy beard MikkelGod wearing a military uniform MikkelGod wearing a suit MikkelGod having this whole silverfox daddy thing going on MikkelGod killing a man with his big beautiful bare hands MIKKELGOD 🤗🙏🏻😍”

But to dismiss Riders of Justice as another entry in the seemingly endless slew of action-revenge pics would also be to undersell its other layers. Much more than Wick, your average Liam Neeson thriller-of-the-month, or even the recent avenging-dad flick, Nobody, Riders positions itself in a more emotionally and psychologically rewarding space, one perhaps closer to its tonally fluid South Korean counterparts. “What lingers,” Douglas Davidson writes, “are the questions Anders presents and the strange hopefulness that flickers upon the credits roll, burning like the embers of a dying fire in the darkness of night.”

It’s of a piece with all of Jensen’s directorial work thus far. A prolific screenwriter who’s penned everything from soulful early Susanne Bier heartbreakers to the recently misfiring The Dark Tower adaptation, Jensen, as a director, has found a sharply honed groove in the form of grimly funny, genre-defying modern fairy-tales populated by oddball characters forced to contend with the chaos of the inscrutable cosmos around them.

Causality plays an even more pronounced role in Riders. The film’s unlikely heroes—hard-bitten special forces soldier Markus Hensen (Mikkelsen) and a trio of bumbling data wizards (Lars Brygmann and Jensen regulars Nikolaj Lie Kaas and Nicolas Bro)—are drawn together to take down a vicious biker gang, but also preoccupied with processing the hows and whys of grief and trauma, and of course, the value of revenge.

Amid the terse blasts of gunfire, the film foregrounds scenes of connection and healing between its characters, an assortment of progressive teens and bumbling middle-aged men whose unusual found-family dynamic recalls Jensen’s previous dark, offbeat comedies like Adam’s Apples and Men and Chicken. As More_Baddass writes, the film gifts us some “Christmastime therapy of an unorthodox family”.

Over Zoom, we spoke about whether it’s possible to make Mikkelsen less handsome, why Denmark won’t be getting a sci-fi blockbuster anytime soon, and the time that Jensen and a friend tried to break the Guinness World Record for movie-watching.

‘Riders of Justice’ cast members Lars Brygmann, Andrea Heick Gadeberg, Mads Mikkelsen, Nikolaj Lie Kaas and Nicolas Bro.

Riders of Justice is one of your more action-packed films. Did you watch any other action flicks, or were there any specific movies that inspired you while you were designing and creating the action in this film? Anders Thomas Jensen: It’s funny, because it’s always subconscious. I never look for inspiration directly because for me, that would be weird to do because then you’re just copying. Definitely in the back of my mind, there’s a lot of action movies and a lot of revenge movies that I’ve seen in the past that will work their way in there. The process for me is very, how do you say, unconscious? What’s it called?

Intuitive? Intuitive, that’s the word. Thank you. First of all, a revenge movie is not easy, but it always has a strong lead and it has a strong will, which is obviously really good if you want to do a script that moves forward. Hamlet is a revenge story, right? I love Once Upon a Time in the West. I love that. The Searchers. The Sting, I guess, is also a revenge movie. Also, there’s so much identification in people who are wronged.

Wish fulfilment. Yeah that too. It’s one of the obviously basic human feelings. Revenge, love. There are these emotions that you’ll do dramas based on long after we were here.

I understand that you took a break from directing for a while and you were spending time raising your family. I’ve noticed, with Men & Chicken and Riders of Justice there’s a lot of attention paid to parenthood, and the role of the parent. Was that intentionally woven into these narratives and something you were thinking of? Yeah. I don’t do it on purpose, but I can definitely see that every movie I ever made I’m very much a part of it. So the whole father story is part of my life in this movie. I have a teenage daughter who I sometimes feel like … I don’t at all have the emotional tools that she and her friends have. This new woke generation that I’m aware of; every single feeling and the environment and everything. I was brought up in a different way. So that’s quite personal in the story, the whole ‘father who has to learn how to communicate through feelings when he’s not very good at it’.

Mads Mikkelsen and Andrea Heick Gadeberg in a scene from ‘Riders of Justice’.

Would you consider Riders of Justice a Christmas movie? Well, it’s so funny because I didn’t see it at all before one of my editors said. No, I wouldn’t because I didn’t pay attention to it at all. The only reason it ends on Christmas is because that’s the perfect coming together of a family. I needed it in the end, but it could have been Easter, but it wasn’t. Perhaps it is a Christmas movie now because it does have Christmas in it.

What was the first film that made you want to be a filmmaker? There are several, but I think the first time I had was Lawrence of Arabia. I saw that when I was very little, when I perhaps shouldn’t have seen it. But when I was around ten, I got a bootleg copy of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. VCRs were a brand new thing and we got a VCR. I saw that film every day for half a year and I still know every line in it. It’s not getting out of my head. I love that film and I think from there on, I knew that I wanted to do films.

As a screenwriter, do you have any other screenwriters that you respect and admire? I have many. Billy Wilder is one of my favorites. Also, Ingmar Bergman, the Coen Brothers, Robert Towne, but many others also. There are a lot of good screenwriters.

I can see elements of those writers coming through your work, especially the first three. You’re really good at blending elements from different genres and putting strange characters together. Are there any other genres you want to explore that you haven’t yet? Well, it’s funny because every time I open up a new streaming service, I look for sci-fi movies first. I’m part of the Academy and when I get the screeners, I’m always checking for sci-fi. I have a love for sci-fi, but unfortunately I’m born in a country where doing a sci-fi film would just be insane. It’s never been done. If you have a really big budget, you have five to six million here. So it’s just something that won’t happen. But of course, you could get ambitious and write a sci-fi movie and hope you could do it somewhere else. I hope one day [to] do a good sci-fi movie, or at least something within that genre because it is a favorite.

But I also have to say, basically, I love all genres. Perhaps not rom-com that much, but I really like Westerns. I like war movies, revenge movies, dramas. I love to mix genres. Every time I do a movie, I get this from the distributors: “What are we going to call it?” Because it is this mix of genres. Genres, that’s just a sales tool really. That’s to give people, show people, “are we having sushi or are we having Italian?” So people don’t get confused. But I think sometimes I like it when you don’t know what you’re getting. That’s also what I love about the Coen Brothers and other directors that play with genres, is that I never know where it’s going.

‘Riders of Justice’ writer-director Anders Thomas Jensen.

Let’s talk a little about Danish cinema. You have your Lars von Trier, you have your Vinterberg and Susanne Bier. Is there an older Danish film that you would recommend that people should see? I actually thought about it and it’s going to sound arrogant, but I couldn’t find one. Not when I compare to what else is out there of American, French, Italian, British, German, Russian and Asian. No, there isn’t. Of course there’s Carl Dreyer. He’s an icon in early, early cinema. That’s the obvious thing to say, but no. For me, Danish cinema starts in the ’90s. Also, I haven’t watched many Danish movies before that, because there aren’t that many. Some people will hate me for saying this, but that’s how I feel.

Are there any recent Danish films or filmmakers that you can recommend? This year I saw a film called Shorta, which was great. It was made by two directors with no budget, about two cops venturing into this Muslim part of Copenhagen where there’s a riot. That was really a promising debut. Also, I really like the idea they had. They made a lot of great stuff visually and for almost no money.

What are your movie-watching habits? You said when you turn on a streaming service, you look out for sci-fi movies. Do you have any other weird behaviors? It’s crazy, but if I really like a movie, I see it many times. I also see it many times where I do not look at it. I hear it. I will just lie with my back to it and just hear the movie. Actually, if the movie is really good, it also works without the picture.

I think that’s [as] weird as it gets, otherwise I’m pretty much normal. I used to binge-watch. Actually, I tried to get into a Guinness Book of Record with a friend when I was fifteen, where, for five days continuously, we watched movies. I can’t remember if it was 107 movies. We watched movies and we had a video store sponsor us. We were lying in an all-night video store, and just saw films until we collapsed. That’s the craziest thing I’ve done, but we never got into the book because there are people that are better at not sleeping, so somebody else beat the record by far.

Do you have a list, or a record of what you watched? No, but there was a journalist that asked us what number afterwards. He asked me, “What film was the film number? 47, 46?” I remember him being very impressed that I could differentiate them.

It would have made a great Letterboxd list. Preserve it for eternity. The funny thing is years after I would actually see a film, and I would get an hour into it and I would go, “Oh, I’ve seen this one.” It was because when I saw the last 30 films, I was unconscious.

I need to ask about Mads Mikkelsen because he’s massive with our community. You’ve worked with him for quite a long time now, so you’ve got a pretty solid working relationship. Having just watched a number of your films in a short period of time, it was impressive that you found that range in him that maybe other filmmakers haven’t tapped into. Is there a type of role that you want to see him in that he hasn’t had a chance to play yet? Yes. There are many roles, but I don’t know. I could put a job description or a feeling on it, but it’s much more complicated with Mads, I think. We have this common thing that we love exploring people who lie to themselves, whether it’s comedy or drama. People who are not being honest with themselves and people who have this screwed up self-image, which in all the films we’ve done together, his character has. There are many other characters I would love to explore with Mads.

His looks are quite specific in each film. He just looks like a different person each time, which is great. You just want to see how he is going to look in the next one. His wife is like that too. She’s always excited and she was so happy this time because he wasn’t ugly. Normally he doesn’t look very well, like in The Green Butchers. Because he’s so handsome, so I try to do him not so handsome.

Riders is the hunkiest he’s been in your films, I guess. Definitely. The competition isn’t tough, though. You’re up against a guy who masturbates and a guy with a bad receding hairline. But it is by far his most hunky.

Related content

Softspacedad’s annotated rundown of 46 Mads Mikkelsen films, and ‘Mads Mikkelsen movies ranked based on how good of a father he is’

‘Mads Mikkelsen is filled with rage and has only one eye’, a list by King

Onebear’s lists of all Danish movies released within each cinematic year since 2009

Anders’ list of films by Danish directors or in the Danish language

Leyner’s list of Danish films nominated for the Academy Award for Best International Film

Mikkel’s list of Danish Christmas films

Follow Aaron on Letterboxd

‘Riders of Justice’ is screening now in select US theaters and available on demand. Images courtesy of Magnet Releasing.

#anders thomas jensen #mads mikkelsen #mads #danish cinema #danish director #danish film #riders of justice #revenge movie #revenge film #action films #action film #denmark #the green butchers #men & chicken #letterboxd

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ultravioletsoul · 4 years

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Can you rank your fave CoD antagonists?

Hello there nonny, sorry for taking so long to reply and thank you for your ask ♥♥

Rank my favorite CoD antagonists? Sure, I can do that! There are several antagonists in the series, but I’ll only rank my top 3. Hope that is okay with you c:

3. Jonathan Irons

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Advanced Warfare may not be a series as popular as BO or MW, but I actually enjoyed the game and I also liked Irons. Honestly, I don’t think we’ve gotten that many antagonists that started out as our allies in CoD (at least I don’t remember any others atm), much any less an American antagonist, so that kinda made him stand out to me.

I’m not familiar with Kevin Spacey’s works, and I barely watched any trailers pre-release. So to see Irons go from someone who I believed genuinely wanted to make the world a better place, where every human being could live in peace and thrive, away from the pointless wars that governments waged, to someone who was willing to use any means necessary to achieve his goals, regardless of how many lives he had to sacrifice... well, that was something that hit me hard.

This man who gave my character a second chance, who treated me (Mitchell) as his son, who cleaned up after the colossal mess that others countries made, helped people from devastated war-zones rebuild their lives and gave them hope for the future, turned out to be someone I was forced to betray because of different viewpoints and philosophies. Despite everything, I think Irons had his heart in the right place, but his methods were ultimately terrible and in his messianic delusions he ended up doing more harm than good, so of course he had to be stopped.

And what I liked about him was that he didn’t start out as a bad man, he didn’t do all those things because of greed, and his characterization wasn’t that of a cartoonish villain. In a way I could find logic in his arguments, he made a few good points about the current state of the world and the inability (or indifference) of many politicians to solve the real problems of the people. But the root of it all lies in the loss of his son, his only child, to a government he no longer trusted nor had any faith in doing what was right. Despite having served in the military in his youth, Irons had grown disillusioned at the way the US handled domestic and international policy, and strongly disagreed with them— opposing the status quo in favor of change.

One could argue that serving in the military was entirely Will’s choice all along, and as a grown adult he knew what he was getting himself into. Still Irons couldn’t help but think that if that war had never happened, Will would still be alive. So that left him with a bitter taste, and it served as the catalyst behind his actions.

If nobody else would bother to do anything to actually solve the world’s problems, then he would be the savior to do it— whether they liked it or not. And he didn’t care what methods he had to use, how many had to die, or if he had to plunge the world into total chaos before he could ultimately end all wars and bring everlasting “peace” (perhaps one of the greatest ironies) as his dream seemed to be. Even at the cost of such a high price.

I don’t think Irons gets the credit he deserves.

2. Raúl Menéndez

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BO2 is one of my favorite games and Raúl is undoubtedly one of the most memorable antagonists in the series. Much like Irons, his actions were heavily motivated by the loss of a loved one but his life is also one sad story, so it’s no wonder he turned out the way he did. Not to justify him, but it’s not hard to understand what led him to do all those things.

From a very young age, his life was destroyed by the actions of Americans, from the horrors of the dictatorship in Nicaragua (in which the Contras were supported by the US); the crippling and disfigurement of his young sister Josefina, due to the greed of an American owner who burned down a warehouse in order to obtain 11,000$ through insurance fraud. After losing everything during an earthquake, and becoming homeless, Raúl and his father started over by selling drugs, successfully establishing a cartel that was so powerful in Nicaragua that they were equally feared and admired among the people.

But this status and power they had newly acquired concerned the US government, and it wasn't long before they sanctioned an assassination order on Raúl's father and sent the CIA in to kill him. Raúl observed it all, a teenager back then, and managed to escape thanks to his father's training. Though he could do nothing to stop it, nothing to save his father, this event marked him and further embittered him against the US and the West. And the last straw was the unfortunate death of Josefina, at the hands of Woods. He lost his sister, the only living relative he had, and his world fell apart. But if we think about it, Raúl was indirectly responsible for her death too, after the horrible torture he put Woods through in Angola. So the next time Woods saw Raúl he lost his mind and threw the grenade that tragically bounced into Josefina's bedroom and killed her.

So he spent all his life orchestrating a huge plan, a brilliant plan, that would shake the US from the very ground. And he was damn charismatic while executing it, earning the support and approval of billions of people all around the world— even from those who lived in US soil!— to begin a world revolution and end the dominance of capitalist nations that had subjugated other weaker countries, amassing huge riches through market economy and wars for resources, destroying lives and sinking many in poverty. And he also manipulates and pits two superpowers against each other... sending everyone to the brink of another world war, or a second cold war at best.

He wanted revenge on the US for playing with the lives of other people, for taking everything he loved away from him, by making them live in fear and destroying everything they had built. He wanted them to feel the same pain, to suffer the way he did. And he wouldn't rest until he achieved that because he had nothing to lose anymore.

Depending on the outcome, he can get revenge on Woods for Josefina, as well. And though we all like it when the "good" guys prevail and foil the plans of the villain, I think this particular ending had a much deeper and stronger emotional impact. The conversation they have at the end is something I didn't expect. Raúl has come to kill Woods but they're both in a place where the years have beaten them down with the weight of they’ve done and rather than an over the top scene, what we’re given is quite the opposite of that.

There’s no screaming, no heated argument between them, no dramatic lines. It’s just two old men who had to live with what they’ve done, and who have come to terms with the inevitability of that moment. Raúl slits Woods’s artery with Josefina’s pendant, and then he does something that surprised me: he closes Frank’s eyes, takes him off the wheelchair and lies his body on the bed. Something that is a huge contrast with what he did to Hudson many years ago... the savagery he used when killing him. For Raúl to behave that way with Woods, the man he considered to be his sister’s killer, it raises the question as to whether he still hated Woods after all these years, or maybe deep down he finally acknowledges that his actions (namely torturing Woods and killing his whole team) was the true motive that led to Josefina’s death.

The thing is, Raúl knows that he's to blame for what happened. It's also the reason why he burns himself alive in front of Josefina's grave. It’s because he has to pay for what he's done to her, too, and he chose to do it in probably the most horrible way possible but it didn’t matter to him. Nothing was more painful than living with the knowledge that his sister died because of what he did.

To him Josefina was the true innocent soul, who didn't deserve any of the suffering she went through.

1. Vladimir Makarov

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It’s no secret that Vladimir is my most favorite antagonist (and character) in all of Call of Duty.

Though his background and motives weren’t as well developed and explained as those of other antagonists in the series, his untold story (which you won’t find anywhere in the game, though you can deduce if you have a basic idea of the situation before and after the fall of the Soviet Union) perhaps says a lot more about him than one might expect.

There’s not a lot we know about his past other than the meager information that was provided in some loading cutscenes, but it’s reasonable to think that Vladimir wasn’t always the trashbag that we see in the games. He once was a young man with dreams of patriotism, who wanted the best for his country, who loved Russia with his soul, and who would do anything to protect her, because as a soldier that was what he was taught to do. As a soldier, that was his purpose in life and without that reason to drive him on, he had nothing left.

And however vague his backstory may seem to be, it gives you an idea that Vladimir in a way was a victim of a system that imparted a type of soft indoctrination on him, from a very young age (as many states do all around the world in some form or another, even those who hold democratic values), all the way to his education in the military academy and his brutal training in the special forces, that further cemented this undying love for Russia, maybe in a way that bordered brainwashing.

His true radicalization came after the fall of the Soviet Union with the loss of his homeland and the Soviet culture as he knew it, as well as Russia becoming weak and losing much of her power and influence across the world. Then came his deployment in Chechnya in 1994, where he lived the horrors of a war that most likely left him psychologically scarred after the experiences he had to go through. And when he returned home, he was kicked out of the armed forces under accusations of human rights violations during the First Chechen War. And they may be true, he probably did a lot of bad things there (under the illusion that he was serving his country for a higher cause), and sadly it’s something commonplace in many armed conflicts. I’m going to leave this short post here for some details on that.

When he returned from war, he didn’t receive any professional help or if he did, it didn’t work. He didn’t know how to cope, he ultimately was unable to adapt to a normal life, he became a misfit. He had lost his job, he had a stain in his career, and finding a decent way to get by was very difficult at the time when the country was in the middle of a political, social, and economic crisis.

He was in financial ruin, and it was hunger that pushed him to become a criminal (something that wasn’t uncommon for ex military men in 90s Russia). Not just that but also hatred for those in power as well as society as a whole, and what they represented: total decadence and the reason why Russia was falling apart with these “stupid” western conceptions about freedom that in his eyes did nothing but give leeway for debauchery and corruption, which he ultimately sought to “fix” by returning Russia to what it used to be (a god-fearing empire under the autocratic rule of a tsar that was likened to a father to all his subjects, and where religion was used as a resource to legitimize his power and as a moral regulator that maintained the social order).

He pretty much felt abandoned, betrayed by his government— a leadership that had done nothing but sink Russia deeper and deeper into ruin, destroying the values under which he was raised and turning people like him into cynical masses that had lost faith in everything and were adrift without any real purpose in life, no future to look forward to, completely disillusioned that the dreams they’d bought into, the promises they had been sold by the west, were nothing but lies.

He’s still a piece of garbage, we know that, but I also think that he’s gone through a lot of struggles and bad experiences in his youth that marked him and filled him with resentment. Everyone sees Vladimir as the puppet master of the storyline of MW, and we have to give him credit for that, but deep down he’s just a man who has been a slave to his own obsessions and ambitions, unable to free himself from the hatred that has poisoned his mind for years, which led him to commit so many atrocities and strip himself from any semblance of humanity— all for the sake of a higher cause, as he undoubtedly tried to justify his actions at the end of the day.

In conclusion, all three were marked by losses in one way or another, and saw themselves as men who had to take the hard path and do what had to be done. And it’s also curious that Call of Duty, while not a game with any deep meaning on the surface, almost seems like social commentary on how war ruins lives and how anyone can do horrible things if put through the wringer enough times. It’s like these stories are trying to say that bad circumstances can make bad men out of seemingly good people, who wouldn’t have done any of the evil they did if maybe things had been different.

And I think that’s what makes these characters so interesting.

#vladimir makarov #raul menendez #jonathan irons #call of duty #modern warfare #black ops #advanced warfare #i'm really sorry again #it took me a while to write this one!#but it's done at long last c:

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sassysnowperson · 4 years

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How about the TIE!Bodhi au?

I think tumblr has fixed it, but just in case, this is an ask from @bright-elen, who wisely also sent this comment: would love to hear about TIE!Bodhi and, is that some Discworld I see there???

TIE!Bodhi AU

SO! This is one of my oldest plot ideas (conceived shortly after Bodhi Lives between me and @aeshna-uk - who was my very first fandom friend!) that never quite managed to get written. The basics of the world:

Bodhi, when he goes to the Imperial Academy, has a better time of flight training and gets good enough scores to become a TIE Fighter.

AND

Baby Jyn does not hide successfully, and gets captured with Galen.

So we've got Imperial Tie Fighter Bodhi and Imperial-Raised-Jyn. The change of circumstances changes Galen's plan - from the beginning, he decides Jyn is going to be his message out, and very carefully raises her to be a proper Imperial Peon, but secretly a Rebel.

Jyn watched the Empire kill her mum, it wasn't a hard sell.

One day, many years later, Jyn makes her run for it with the message. A squadron of TIES is deployed to stop her…

Yeah, you know who's in that squadron. Jyn makes a desperate hyperspace jump and manages to catch Bodhi's TIE in her hyperspace bubble. They both wind up crash-landed on a wild planet with no backup, and very large dinosaur-type things that have a decided interest in eating either them, or their shuttle, with no particular preference.

“We can’t shoot it when it’s that close to the shuttle," he said, his voice pitched so low that she had to lean close to hear it. She didn't recognize his accent. "Too many volatiles from the damaged cell. Stray bolt could set off a reaction even if it didn't hit the fuel cells directly.”

Jyn glared at him, feeling a sudden surge of furious indignation. "Really?" she whispered angrily. "That’s where you want to start the conversation? As an alternative, may I suggest, ‘by the way, sorry for tying you to a tree’?”

“If we can’t get it away from the shuttle, then there’s a decent chance the ship will explode even if we don't shoot at it,” the pilot continued as if he hadn't heard her.

“Or maybe, 'sorry for shooting down your shuttle in the first place'?”

The pilot paused. “Do you want to be stranded here?" he asked pointedly.

Jyn opened her mouth, closed it, folded her arms over her chest, then finally, grudgingly, said, “No.”

He nodded. “We need to lure it away from the ship. Shuttles won’t be its normal prey. We need to give it something to chase and -”

“No,” Jyn said, remembering at the last second to keep her voice at a whisper. She still filled it with as much vitriol as she could. “You are not using me as bait you plasteel-souled son-of-a-mynock!”

The pilot sighed and pulled a blaster out of his belt. Her blaster. Jyn was considering the indignity of being threatened by her own weapon when the pilot reversed his hold, offering her the grip.

Startled, she looked up, meeting his eyes. Steady brown stared back at her.

“You’re shaken. Probably concussed. And you're clearly not combat-trained. I’ll go, circle around, lure it off. Once it’s cleared the ship, take any clear shot you get. I’ll do the same.”

Jyn grabbed at the blaster before he could change his mind. She quickly wrapped her finger around the trigger, considering just pulling the weapon to her and getting a shot off before he could react. With him dead…

“Jyn,” he said. The sound of her name in his mouth shocked her out of her plans. She noticed he had his own blaster out, gripped in his other hand. He watched her, and for a moment there was something almost vulnerable in his gaze. He cleared his throat. “Rook.”

Jyn looked at him, confused.

“My name,” the pilot said. “Bodhi Rook.”

They go from mutual enmity to mutual respect as they get the shuttle fixed, and Jyn does her best to talk Bodhi around.

I loved playing with this idea for a couple of reasons. It's fun to really dig into how much personality is based on circumstances and what, if anything, stays true. Pitting a different-in-personality Bodhi against a completely-different-person Erso trying to pull at his conscience was also very fun. I also love taking one (or, in this case) two small changes, and spinning out a different universe from it. What happens to the message? The Death Star? Scarif?

Also it's a lovely enemies to friends (to ??? - haven't gotten the far future of this universe really firmed down) arc, and I haven't really written one of those yet!

Carrot and Cheery

Yes you DO spy Discworld :D

This was prompted by an exchange and not finished in time for it, so it's just been languishing in my drafts folder. The goal, though, was to explore some of the space between Carrot (The Dwarfiest Dwarf to ever Dwarf, aside from that little "being a tall human by genetics" business) and Cheery, who is using her bedazzled axe to carve up dwarven tradition until she finds a place she fits in it. They don't interact that often, but I think there's some really interesting compare/contrast to be done between them.

The fic was going to set their ideological clash and more fundamental support of each other against a background of dwarfish politics, which is also fascinating to me.

I don't have much of this one, but here's the start, which is when I realized just how much fun it is writing in Pratchett's style.

"Excuse me!"

Carrot, with a sinking sensation in his gut, turned to find Sachrissa Cripslock determinedly wading her way through the busy market square toward where he stood, next to the yellow rope printed with the words, "Bugger off! Police Business!" (What the words lacked in professionalism, they made up for in clarity). He briefly harbored a flitting hope that perhaps the current of the crowds would sweep her away. Unfortunately, Miss Cripslock had the wading skills of a determined fisherman stalking the Blink Salmon in the mountains of Lancre, and was upon Carrot before he could escape.

"Captain Carrot," she said crisply, "as you must be aware, there are rumors circling of your claim to royalty! Do you have any comment on the matter?"

Carrot was relieved. He had thought she was going to ask about the interesting graffiti of…Humorously Shaped Vegetables, in Sargent Colon's words. Compared to the difficulty of finding a professional statement to make on Incidents of Vegetables, he felt nearly confident in answering her question.

I really need to find more excuses to write Discworld Fic. :D

#ask games #WIP asks #TIE!Bodhi #Carrot and Cheery #long post #text post #bright-elen

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tiny-space-robot · 3 years

Note

Okay so Fire Emblem anon here!! Here's a Kinda Super Long Bc I Got Carried Away description of a few Fire Emblem games, plus some characters that seem like they hit tropes you like!

The good news is that there's not a super huge overarching timeline, there's several smaller timelines that are seperate from one another except for the crossover games. I'm gonna go with describing the newer ones that you're most likely to be able to get your hands on and play; a lot of people complain that they lean into some anime-tropey stuff and are too easy, but tbh, that's a perk just as often as it isn't. Basically, it's Game of Thrones, but rated T and with more cute girls and old men who are friendly instead of creepy.

Tbh, it's a turn-based strategy game with visual novel elements for characterization, if strategy games aren't your thing and you're just interested in the characters, watching the support conversations on Youtube might be more your thing. All the characterization, none of the resetting the same goshdang level thirty times. Anyways, description of the games in passing, including a brief description of the plot concept, pros and cons, trigger warnings, and some characters you might be interested in if you're just looking up characters.

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Awakening: for the 3DS. Follows Robin, an amnesiac mage, after they're found in a field by a band of knights called the Shepherds. Involves the undead, a twink in a mask, timey-wimey shenangians, and the usual cast of oddballs you'd expect from a Fire Emblem game.

Pros of Awakening: customizable player character, intro of Casual mode (turns off permadeath) and the Pair Up system, which lets you put characters together for shipping reasons strategy and stat boosts. Also doubles as a shipping simulator, since you can pair off characters and meet their later in the game due to said timey-wimey shenangians.

Cons of Awakening: there are some....very concerning combos of names/skin tones/plot relevance for certain characters, so go in with a warning about implicit racism. Also if you like strategy games, this game is relatively easy to break and make "too easy," but tbh that's what Lunatic Mode (the Ultra Unfair Hard Mode) is for.

Trigger warnings across the main plot: underhanded politics, attempted assassinations, martyrdom, an optional character is implied to stalk Robin but idk how to tag that, identity crises, conflicts within a family, character who isn't you looks like you, backstory child abuse, an optional character is a bad portrayal of DID if you squint?

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Fates: is actually a group name for two games set in the same universe, and a DLC bonus story: Birthright, Conquest, and Revelations. All for the 3DS. All three games star Corrin, a pacifist raised in seclusion in the kingdom of Nohr. Each game reflects a different path Corrin can take in navigating the war between the nations of Nohr and Hoshido: Birthright has them stand with Hoshido, Conquest with Nohr, and Revelations has them strike out (nearly) alone. Each path has a completely different storyline, cast of characters, and difficulty curve.

Pros of Fates: honestly, the characters here cater the most to the avid pro-shipper and multi-shipper. I just love this cast. Both Nohr and Hoshido have four members of the royal family you can play and get to know, each of those royal family members has two retainers who are various levels of dedicated and/or unhinged, and the cast just widens and widens. Also a character customization and shipping simulator point for the same reasons Awakening gets it. Also, canon fujoshi rights (there's a character with a skill called Daydream, which boosts her stats when two male characters are paired up near her. one of us, one of us). Also the first game with canon queer characters: both Rhajat and Niles are bi.

Cons of Fates: unfortunately, the writing is kinda rushed or badly translated in some places. Also *shakes IntSys* my lore! Give me more lore! Also, iirc, you could get both physical games in a bundle for a discount when they came out, but not anymore, so it's sorta like Pokemon with version exclusives. Which is less fun, since you can't directly trade characters. Also the fandom for this game is RIFE with discourse, which is kinda sad bc I just wanna talk my ships with ppl sjxhdjdn

Trigger warnings for Fates: child abuse might as well be Nohr's middle name, in-universe racism (since Hoshido is p obviously Japan-inspired, and a lot of Nohrians are rancid to Hoshidans), kidnapping, on-screen murder, lots of fighting your loved ones (on both main routes, you gotta fight the playable characters from the other side AAA), su-c-de, death of sibling(s) in certain routes, demonic-like possession, there's like six characters people can read as bad mental illness rep, Niles especially is discourse bait for being a kinky (yes that's canon) bi man of color but also he's awesome so die mad antis

*break for space*

Shadows of Valentia: for the 3DS. A remake of Gaiden, the second game in the series. Follows Alm, a farm boy from a small village in Zofia, and Celica, his childhood best friend. Zofia and the nation to its north, Rigel, are two nations ruled by the dragon gods Mila and Duma, respectively. Normally, they're in equilibrium, but Rigel is invading and Mila is missing, prompting Alm and Celica to independently investigate the problem.

Pros of SoV: the most like the old-school Fire Emblem games, but it also has the permadeath-off mode. also the first to be fully voice acted! The art style is gorgeous, and the plot was polished up from the old game--two characters names Berkut and Rinea were added, and they are PEAK OTP the diskhorse can die mad. Also the cast is pretty fun all around, from buddy squad and the older brother/dad figure they adopted along the way to "hello this is my gang of childhood friends, we're gonna kill a god" Also introduces Mila's Turnwheel, which lets you rewind your moves if you realize you goofed big time and screwed yourself over.

Cons of SoV: has the most references to other games, but you won't, like, be lost if you don't get them. You just might have a few interludes of "who tf is Camus/the White Wing Brigade/etc" but it's easy enough to look up on the wiki. Also tbh, the plot kinda drags in the middle, there's some filler battles to try and make it feel more realistic and it feels...weird. Also no custom character, you are Alm and Celica and you will Like It.

Trigger warnings for SoV: you know that thing where a girl character gets killed off for a guy character to angst over? the game starts with a fakeout version of that. also a character slowly goes mad over the course of the plot (but it's really well done imo?), there's some self-sacrifice stuff in there, classism is a major theme, possession/selling your soul™, there's a couple of levels where you're exploring tombs/prisons, I'm sure there's something else but I'm forgetting right now

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Three Houses: on the Switch. The newest game in the series, and the most polished imo? Stars Byleth, a wandering mercenary turned teacher at the Officer's Academy. The Academy, housed in Garreg Mach Monastery, teaches youths from across the land of Fodlan how to be warriors, commanders, and knights. Students are sorted into three houses based on their country of origin: the Black Eagles are from ghe Adrestian Empire, led by the heiress-apparent Edelgard; the Blue Lions are from the kingdom of Faerghus, led by prince Dimitri; and the Golden Deer are from the Leicester Alliance, led by Claude, grandson of the Duke. You choose one of these houses to lead, and then everything quickly goes sour.

Pros of Three Houses: It's such a rich experience! The music is incredible, there's so much lore, and you can wander around the Monastery and hang out with the students to your heart's content. Also, it's four storylines for the price of one, even if they're all relatively similar in the first half. It does a pretty solid job of weaving together its themes into a satisfying narrative that will make you consider everyone involved. Also we got our first bi main lord (Edelgard) and non-white main lord (Claude is mixed race) in one fell swoop! Also, given the setting, it's teacher/student ship heaven.

Cons of Three Houses: just gonna come right out and say it: one of the villainous factions in the game is pretty substantially tied up with some anti-semitic tropes. There's no way to ignore it, it's just bleh, and I'm not gonna send anyone in without that warning. Also, though there's some characters you can persuade to switch sides, or spare, there's no route where there's a happy ending for everyone. Also there are so many people who are fake deep about the themes of the game, so be ready for the worst takes imaginable about your faves. also super trigger heavy, see below.

Trigger warnings: MANY. Garreg Mach and the Church of Seiros are very reminiscent of catholic religious stuff, for anyone with religion triggers, blood in cutscenes, death of a parent, death of a sibling (different characters), major gaslighting vibes in some places, lots of people going unhinged, some white savior™ vibes in places, body horror, creepy ass weaponry, backstory genoc-de (mostly not related to the anti-semitism), blood magic (definitely related to the anti-semitism), in general it goes to a lot more effort than the other games to make you think about what's Actually going on, even if it doesn't always work.

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As for characters you'd like, if you just want to look some characters up, my recommendations based on what I understand about you include:

Awakening: Libra fits 'gnc man of the cloth' so well it's actually a conversation in game: "so what's a woman of the cloth doing here?" "...man, sir, man of the cloth." And Then He Never Gets Misgendered Again. Also Nowi's supports sometimes feel like a jab at antis-- she's a manakete, a person who can transform into a dragon. Manaketes also grow really slowly, as in "middle aged looking manaketes are like 1000 years old," so she's got major baby face and copes with being mistaken for a teenager by making jokes. Also Gregor, who she first appears with, is pretty fun--older mercenary with a thick accent who is like 80% here for a good time. Also Walhart, who's a villain but got some content added as DLC.

Fates: any interactions between Corrin, Leo, and/or Camilla are probably right up your alley--Camilla is obsessively protective over her siblings in a way that's Very Definitely Platonic™, and Leo also canonically has a crush on her in something that was cut in the English release. Also Gunther--once upon a time he was your classic knight in shining armor, now he's semi-retired, Corrin's personal guard, and covered in scars (and his voice is gorgeous too)

Echoes: my biased answer is to listen to every single line Ian Sinclair read for Berkut because he absolutely did NOT have to go that hard. My actual answer is to point you in the direction of the pegasus sisters Catria, Palla and Est, or maybe the older gentleman who's the head of the Priory, I forgot his name oops abbdbd. Also Clive is a devoted husband to one Mathilda, who looks just like an older version of his sister Clair 🤔

Three Houses: knowing you, you'd adore Hanneman--an older professor who's extremely passionate about his work, to the point where he tends to forget personal space and such. Also Seteth, like I mentioned before (join me in simping for him and his gorgeous pecs) and like, honestly, I know ppl make jokes about Alois but he's rlly good. Soft, awkward but he doesn't care, dad jokes everywhere. And also Mercedes, both because she's the biggest sweetheart imaginable and everyone should love her, but also bc she is just walking potential for the kinds of stuff you post on this blog. On one hand, she's the oldest student at the Academy and attached at the hip to one of the youngest, Annette (tho people act like they have a way bigger age gap then they actually do) and on the other hand, she has a long-lost half brother she can encounter (who I will not name for HUGE HUGE spoilers reasons) who she spends the rest of her life with in one of her endings. Heck, he has three possible endings total! Total!

Basically I brought the games up bc I'm used to being on the side of the fandom where everyone shoos anything uncomfortable under the rug, but there's so much material here that's being wasted I SWEAR

If you have any other questions I can send another anon? Your call! Thanks for hearing me out I love ur blog :3

OKAY!!! sorry for answering so late, but this ask was pretty much a BOOK (not that I´m complaining though! thank you so much! ;;u;;)

and from what I read here, I THINK if I´m going off on my first fire emblem adventure, I´ll try and pick up three houses if I get the chance! I have read your trigger warnings (thank you so much! ;u;) and I think I can take it! >:3

again though, I am really, really not a fan of anime and the anime artstyle in general (blergh! XP) so I´m not sure how I´ll cope with that in particular, but then again, an artstyle does not make a game! u3u

AND HANNEMAN SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER TO ME!! I looked him up and OOOF!!! he may not have NEARLY as many wrinkles as I´d like him to have, but the facial hair is definitely a step in the right direction! ;3c

NOW YOU GOT ME INTERESTED!!

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

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bffsoobin · 4 years

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extra long tag game (a guide to all unnecessary knowledge of me)

tagged by: @txtdiaries (ily lana)

tagging: @pxppinstars @txtdream @lavenderlattaes @soobindipity (feel free to ignore if you’ve already done this or just can’t be bothered)

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

Um okay so I’ll go with explaining BTS and TXT I guess, haha. For BTS it was DNA! That was the first mv I ever saw by them and I was instantly obsessed with everything about it. For TXT, it was obviously Crown since I was keeping an eye on them as soon as BH announced a new group haha. But I initially loved the super bright and happy concept from Crown and they totally got me hooked by their personalities and other music!!

—

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

married by 23, kids by 25...I’m 19 and I’ve never even had a boyfriend so I would be shocked if I actually got this lmao

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Honestly, I can’t think of anything other than spending more time with my roommate who I miss so so much.

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

I wouldn’t usually call this unconventional but right now I’d say my student ID since it’s useless as I’m not going back to campus

favourite type of plushies and why?

I love teddy bears. I have two that I sleep with every night! One is a gift I got for preschool graduation (eloquently named Teddy) and the other is my iron man build a bear that my uncle bought me to cope with Endgame.

favourite song right now?

I am notoriously bad at answering this question so I’ll just say that at the moment I’ve been listening to Red Desert by 5sos a lot.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

I’ve always wanted to learn how to play drums and any language other than English haha

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

This took way more digging in my mind than I would like to admit but when I saw 5sos live in 2016 my best friend and I had soundcheck, so we got to sit in the venue early and ask them questions and hear a few extra songs. At the time I had beef with Luke Hemmings (because the girl he was dating at the time was one of the most toxic people on earth) and he wouldn’t break up with her. So the girl sitting next to me at soundcheck raised her hand to ask Luke a question so of course he was looking basically right at me. We were like maybe 8 rows back from the stage and at this point in my life I had bright pink hair, so there was no missing me. So this girl is asking her innocent question, and naturally Luke looks around a bit and we make eye contact and instead of fangirling like a normal person, my anger at him boiled over and I ended up flipping him off. The whole band noticed and had to pretend they weren’t laughing at the oddly aggressive 9th grader who flipped off their lead singer. I still feel bad about it to this day lmao but all my friends think it’s hilarious and it’s definitely my go to party story.

headphones or speakers? why?

headphones all the way. Speakers only if I’m showering.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

Surprisingly I’m not craving anything but that’s because I just ate dinner 10 minutes ago

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

Spotify all the way

ten questions (by lana, answered)

1. what is your favorite movie of all time?

This is such a hard question for me. I’m so bad at picking favorites. But I’d have to say it’s sort of a tie between Heathers, Brave and Iron Man 2

2. describe your childhood in three words

Disney, animals, comforting

3. Favorite holiday?

Halloween forever and always

4. Favorite vacation spot?

Disney World! 5.What do you think of the education system? Are you a fellow slave to the GPA?

The US education system has massive holes. I was lucky enough to attend a pretty good highschool and take good classes so I don’t feel like I was as robbed as other people, but there are curriculum gaps and misinformation everywhere you go. As far as college goes, I think it is wayyyy too expensive. Despite that, I still signed myself up for 8 years of debt so yes, I am a slave to the GPA. Gotta go hard for the dream job.

6. What is your hair color? Very light blonde now, normally dirty blonde

7. What talent do you wish you had?

I wish I could draw or paint well so bad. I am so envious of artists.

8. What is your major and why? (If you’re in highschool, what do you plan on majoring in?)

I’m a biology major because I want to become a veterinarian!

9.Do you like kids or do you merely tolerate them? I love most kids. There will always be some awful ones but as a general rule I love being around kids and I definitely want some of my own!

10. Any pets?

Yep, I have five cats!

ten questions from me to you:

who is your favorite non kpop artist?

do you prefer to be warm or cool?

dream job, if you have one?

favorite TV show?

top three celebrities you would sell your soul to meet?

do you believe in ghosts?

cookies or brownies?

do you like where you live?

do you know your personality type? If so, what is it?

do you prefer floral scents or neutral scents?

—

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

—

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: sara

nickname: sadams

birthday: April 16th, 2001

zodiac: Aries hehe

nationality: sadly, american

languages: only english

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5'2 or 3 I don’t know for sure

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: obviously txt but I pull inspiration from my life, music, TV/movies and other stories!

meaning behind my url: I heavily believe in the idea of alternate universes and I think there’s one where Soobin and I are best friends so that’s what I made my url!

blog established: May of 2020

followers: 568 (how??)

FAVORITES

favourite animals: cats, snakes, raccoons

favourite books: Looking For Alaska by John Green

favourite colour: black, light purple, forest green, deep blue

favourite fictional characters: Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds), Andy Dwyer (Parks and Rec), Leslie Knope (Parks and Rec), Klaus and Ben (Umbrella Academy), Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes. For some reason I’m blanking on book characters so here are all of my movie/tv faves

favourite flower: Forget me nots

favourite scent: fresh laundry, anything tropical or ocean smelling, basil

favourite season: fall!

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 7 or 8 usually

cats or dogs: cats

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: hot chocolate

current time: 6:41 pm

dream trip: Australia or SK

dream job: Veterinarian

hobbies: writing, watching tv/movies, shopping, going for walks

hogwarts house: slytherin

last movie watched: 68 Kill (do not watch if you’re under 18 or sensitive, lmao)

last song listened to: Sarah Smiles by Panic! at the Disco

no. of blankets you sleep with: right now two

random fact(s): I love dinosaurs, I have low iron, I’m allergic to dogs even though I work at a doggy daycare

—

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to

stay gold- bts

20 cm- txt

catch fire- 5sos

self- khalid

f2020- avenue beat

nyla- blackbear

everywhere- niall horan

heather- conan gray

red desert- 5sos

eight- iu, suga

#about me #tagged

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ncfan-1 · 5 years

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Rhea’s Twelve Children

Okay. I said I was gonna chew on this once I was finished playing Silver Snow. Welp, I’ve finished playing Silver Snow, and good grief, did I get something to chew on.

[CN/TW: Unethical experimentation, attempted death of personality, abuse (and this holds true regardless of what you think the origins of the twelve to be)]

(I don’t don’t call my avatar ‘Byleth,’ but since this is a general meta post, I’ll be calling her ‘Byleth’ simply for clarity.

And obviously, if you think of Rhea as a benevolent person with benevolent goals—I don’t, and you should take that into account before reading any further. If Mobile fucks up again and eats the Read More in the Mobile version of this post, I’m sorry, and please just scroll past.)

Up there is what is effectively Rhea’s deathbed confession in Silver Snow. She relates how she created twelve people to serve as vessels for Sothis, only for each attempt to end in failure. Then, she talks about how, when Byleth was born, her mother was dying and Byleth herself appeared to be either dying or stillborn, and that she used Sothis’s Crest Stone to revive her—and that later, she tried to use Byleth the way she had tried to use the twelve who came before her.

It is, at present, unclear as to whether the twelve were Rhea’s biological children, or people she created via magic. To me, I think the former explanation is by far the most likely. Verdant Wind is the only route I haven’t gotten through, and while I know that one is lore-heavy, it seems to have a lot more to do with the general (true) history of Fódlan than with Byleth’s origins and how those origins play into Rhea’s machinations. The only person who seems to have had the power to create life by such means as Rhea would have had to in order to have literally “created bodies” is Sothis, and Rhea doesn’t have Sothis’s powers. I have thus far read nothing in this game to suggest that there is magic that can create a person. Given the lack of evidence pointing in any other direction, the simplest explanation is the one most likely to be true: these twelve people were Rhea’s biological children, brought into the world via sexual reproduction, and she refers to them as “created bodies” in an attempt to distance herself from them as much as possible.

And even if they aren’t her biological children, even if she clearly does not regard them as such, these people were Rhea’s children in one sense of the word or another. Biological children or created via magic, she gave them life.

So. Rhea had twelve children, and each time she had one, she brought them into the world with the intent of snuffing out everything that made them who they were so that she could give her mother’s soul a body to pilot and use to interact with the physical plane again. Twelve times, she did this, and never seriously thought she should stop. Well, more like thirteen.

She doesn’t regard these people as her children; this much is clear from the outset. She consistently refers to them as “failures”, unable to resist the urge to objectify them and reduce everything that they were down to the base function for which she brought them into this world—and to imply that everything they were was meaningless in the face of their being unable to be what she wanted them to be. It is, at best, unclear as to what just happened to these people once Rhea realized that their bodies wouldn’t be able to act as vessels for Sothis. Byleth’s mother was still very young when she died—depending on the time of year when she was born, she was either nineteen or twenty—and Rhea, as we have seen, is murderously possessive of Sothis’s Crest Stone.

I can’t speak much on this since we have basically no information on how she responded when she finally realized that each of the children were unable to become vessels for Sothis. Nemesis was slain in Imperial Year 91, and the game starts in Imperial Year 1180. That’s 1,089 years; divided by 12, that’s 90.75 years. Even if you assume Rhea waited a while before her first try at resurrecting her mother, that’s more than enough time for each of them to have died of old age and/or natural causes, and for Rhea to simply harvest the Crest Stone after their deaths. The fact that we know at least one of them died at the ripe old age of twenty (at the oldest) gives us even more leeway. We don’t know what happened to each of the eleven who preceded Byleth’s mother when Rhea realized that they wouldn’t be able to fulfill the role she created them to fill. We likely never will.

Rhea probably didn’t kill them, but she certainly didn’t view them as people in their own right, and certainly not as anyone to be truly cherished for who they were. They were, after all, “failures.”

This, on its own, is completely unconscionable. I don’t know what else to call having twelve children (or creating twelve children by means other than the typical), and then trying to snuff out everything they are so their bodies can be used as a vessel for another soul to interact with the physical plane without going into phrasing that could pass into the realm of deliberately inflammatory. All of the stuff Rhea did in the past in regards to the twelve was unconscionable, but let’s talk about what she did to #13.

It is established that Rhea saved Byleth’s life by implanting Sothis’s Crest Stone into her heart as a newborn. If that is where she had stopped, I would be able to say, without reservation, that this was a purely altruistic act. I would be able to say that it was a benevolent act. How else do you describe someone resorting to drastic measures to save a newborn’s life, if it doesn’t involve selling their soul to a demon or something?

But that’s not where this story ended.

Jeralt notes in his diary that both he and newborn Byleth have been put under surveillance by the church; he had to fake the baby’s death and take advantage of her utter silence to successfully smuggle her out of the monastery. Rhea had no intention of letting Byleth slip out from her grasp, and the fact that she doesn’t even try to feed Jeralt some edited version of what happened, doesn’t try to forestall his worries with an edited story of what happened when Byleth was born, doesn’t speak of someone who’s particularly willing to cooperate with Jeralt in the raising of this child. Her intent, her sole intent, is to make sure Byleth isn’t taken out from under her gaze. Or, to be more accurate, to ensure that her mother’s Crest Stone isn’t carried off to where she can’t retrieve it from.

When Jeralt and Byleth are brought back to the monastery at the start of the game is where Rhea starts her nearly year-long campaign of aggressively grooming Byleth to ensure that she trusts Rhea as much as possible, is as compliant to Rhea’s wishes as possible. Though the term ‘grooming’ is often used to describe sexual abuse, it doesn’t have to be sexual in nature, and in this case, I can’t think of a better way to call what Rhea is doing.

Rhea shows Byleth an unusual amount of favor right from the start, by making her a professor at the Officers Academy, which is a prestigious position and would, as Seteth points out, never usually be given to a young stranger who hasn’t been thoroughly vetted and whose qualifications haven’t been extensively verified. She is constantly complimentary towards Byleth, and entrusts her, a near-stranger, with the Sword of the Creator, even though it is a weapon both hugely important to the Church of Seiros and incredibly dangerous in the wrong hands. Their supports take place in Rhea’s bedchamber, far away from prying eyes. Rhea often sends Jeralt out of the monastery on long-term missions. It’s noted over and over again, by multiple people, that Rhea treats Byleth very differently than how she treats everyone else, and that Byleth has definitely been receiving special treatment.

Rhea spent a year aggressively grooming Byleth, trying to cultivate their absolute trust as quickly as possible. All of this, to ensure that when Rhea asked Byleth to sit on Sothis’s throne, to do the thing she confidently assumed would snuff out everything that made Byleth who they were, Byleth would do it with no fuss, and no hesitation.

So. Twelve times she had children she intended to turn into her mother, but thirteen times she’s tried to turn someone into her mother, after all.

Not once did it occur to her that maybe she should stop.

And yeah, she expresses apparently genuine remorse when explaining all this to Byleth in Silver Snow, but it’s easy to be remorseful when you’re on your deathbed. It’s easy to be remorseful for your wrongdoings when you know you’re not going to be around to experience the consequences of them for much longer. I’m not saying it’s not genuine. I’m saying it’s not terribly meaningful. And even here, Rhea was talking to Byleth with the intent of achieving a goal, her goal being to ensure that Byleth would accept the responsibility of ruling over Fódlan after she herself was gone. She told the truth, but because it was the only card she had left to play.

Yeah, Silver Snow gave me a lot to chew on, alright.

#Fire Emblem Three Houses #Fe16 #Meta #Rhea Fe16 #Byleth Fe16

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psyga315 · 4 years

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Fixing RWBY Volume 5

Well, here we are. Volume 5. The hot mess that helped spark a new generation of critics. Sure, Volume 6 also had its share, but it was more focused on Adam and the Bees. Volume 5 destroyed a lot of things and caused people to voice their complaints. It was so bad, RT had to literally appease the public by giving them exactly what they want. You ever wondered why Ruby suddenly gained prominence as a character in Volume 6 or the sudden focus on Blake and Yang’s relationship or even Penny’s return?

But why is Volume 5 so bad? Well, I made a lengthy post about it, but the long story short of it is that a combination of RT’s over ambitiousness of RWBY, its lack of resource management, and the writers clearly having no idea how to pace scenes out led to a Volume that felt more like the writers just wanted to get it over with and failed to live up to its core theme. I brought this up time and time again with my tweaks that each of the volumes carried with it a certain theme.

Volume 1 was about beginnings and friendship, Volume 2 was about stepping into danger, Volume 3 was the theme of falling, Volume 4 was the theme of picking yourself back up, Volume 6 was outgrowing your mentor’s advice, and Volume 7 was about trust and fear. What’s Volume 5’s theme? Well, from the interviews mentioned in the Reddit post and the opening song, the theme revolves around solving problems on your own and, most importantly for this rewrite, shouting “We’re not done here!”, which, if you’ve seen Volume 5, went more like this:

“Let’s wait until the bad guys call us to fight them. Then we’ll cry about how things aren’t going our way until this guy goes about feeling up- I mean, healing up this girl.”

Obviously, this needs to be changed. Unlike the other tweaks where I change one or two major elements of a Volume and mostly shuffle things around for better coherency, this is just gonna outright be a full rewrite, since while I mostly let things go as they are, the problem with Volume 5 is that nothing should go as they are.

In fact, all the tweaking I did is basically building up for Volume 5. All the bits where Ozpin is untrustworthy? To better sell Yang getting all pissy about BIRDS. Hazel’s appearance? To make him a much more prominent character. Everything in regards to Adam and the White Fang? To set up a better closure for the White Fang subplot. It’s all been to try and fix Volume 5. If Volume 3 is the lynchpin for which all other Volumes try to imitate, then Volume 5 is the lynchpin for which all other Volumes try to avoid being. Like I said, RT had to basically give viewers a shit ton of cookies just to make up for how bad Volume 5 was.

So, instead of going by this arc by arc, I’m gonna go the more traditional route and rewrite the Volume episode by episode. My obligatory recommendation is a mishmash of Volume 5 rewrites that Unicorn of War made. I mean, he made about 3? 4? I lost count.

Episode 0 (Trailers)

Okay, these need to be changed. The point of a character short is to highlight the character’s strong points. Not make them weak or focus on someone else. Ruby’s character short did this, Adam’s character short did this, the original trailers did this, so why the hell did they drop the ball with Weiss losing to common undead mooks and Blake listening to a backstory that isn’t even in the show proper?

So, we’re going to change all this. Weiss’s character short has her fighting against the Beowovles and she manages to win. Winter comes by, but points out how sloppy she was and reveals that she held back. She then gives a foreshadowing line of “if this were a real battle, you’d most likely be bleeding out from that last blow.”

Blake’s character short goes more into detail of what happened to Ghira. Namely him getting gunned down by random humans and in a later scene, Blake fighting them to get revenge, only to stop herself. Adam steps in and personally finishes off the humans, which causes Blake to realize just how much of an asshole Adam is.

Yang’s character short is somewhat the same, but drop the stupid plotline of Ruby learning hand to hand, since RT wants to pretend it never existed to begin with. Also, let’s not have Yang’s aura flicker and tell the Audience she has no aura when you literally just explained a day or so ago that no aura means no semblance.

Alright, now let’s finally get into it:

Episode 1

We open right where the stinger of Volume 4 leaves off with Jaune and co visiting Pyrrha’s mom and dad and dropping off a spare shield that RT joked about in an interview that forever scarred the Floof Artist and blurred the lines of if RWBY should be an anime or a cartooooooooooon. It’s meant to set the tone for this Volume as we get a brief bit where Ruby and Qrow explore the rest of Mistral and not just look at mat paintings. Also, show that it’s in a state of chaos instead of two people with some bamboo heart plant thing.

We also have bits that catch up with our cast. Weiss hears a distress signal and much to Pilot Boi’s demands, she commandeers the ship and flies to them. Blake and Ilia meet for the first time since the fight and Blake argues with her on why she’s vouching so much for Adam. Ilia only warns her to leave Menagerie before she gets hurt and leaves before Blake asks for details. Yang and Heather gang up and get Not!Bakugou to drag them to the bandits.

RNJR and Qrow meet up with Lionheart, who fills them in on the crisis as Qrow tells him that he had to explain the Relics since Ozpin is no longer with them. Namely, Mistral has tons of Grimm going around, not helped by bandits who are making bad matters worse. When Qrow mentions that the Spring Maiden is among the bandits, he nearly has a heart attack. “Bandits are one thing but magical bandits!?”

He also answers Jaune’s question with the same response: “Nothing but lies and forgeries.”, which makes Jaune angry and openly complains about it before Ruby tries to help him. “Hey! We may not have gotten what we wanted, but people here need our help.” When Ruby says this, Qrow decides to inform the group about the possible home base of Raven’s tribe. Note that he does not mention that she’s Yang’s mom nor do they know. Lionheart is a little startled and warns that they only have one shot at this and if they fail, Raven’s tribe will scatter into parts unknown, if they haven’t already. He tries to get them to stay, but Ruby is insistent to stop Raven at the very least, with securing the Spring Maiden being a secondary mission, not asking why she’s important, since she kinda got the idea from Jaune when he recounted how Ozpin forced the Maiden powers onto Pyrrha.

As they leave, Lionheart sighs and warns Watts about it, only for him to say that this game of chess was out of his hand to begin with. The most Lionheart can do is provide the team with the one Huntsman who is at his Academy…

Later that evening, Qrow goes for a drink while RNJR prepare for their mission. He is approached by Oscar and Lionheart. Lionheart says that Oscar had arrived at Haven days ago and refused to leave when he’s told that school’s out for the summer. He leaves Oscar to Qrow while saying how “a day out in the field is worth a week in school.”

As Oscar is alone with Qrow, he asks for his cane in a voice that is not his. Ending the episode there.

Episode 2

Lionheart informs Salem about RNJR arriving at Haven with Qrow and that they’re on their way to retrieve the Spring Maiden. He advises Salem to act quickly, but Salem hushes him (no, she does not strangle him) and says that she’s got the situation under control. She then advises Watts that he is no longer needed at Mistral and is to return to Evernight before the others find him. Watts uses the Seer to teleport and he and Cinder have a bit of a snarkfest now that Cinder can talk before Watts leaves to make Tyrian’s tail.

Cinder then asks Salem to personally be the one that kills Ruby, only to be warned that Ruby’s Silver Eyes are a hazard to her. “She is merely a novice with the Silver Eyes and yet put you on death’s door… I don’t want you to get hurt again.” Cinder just flares up and goes “I. Won’t.” And storms off.

Weiss battles with Lancer Wasps like in the original, but she’s acting on initiative so people are being saved. Battle proceeds like normal, but when Weiss crashes the plan, she and Pilot Boi survive before being kidnapped by Raven.

We cut to Adam and Sienna doing their usual talk, but instead of Sienna going out like a bitch, she actually has a battle with Adam because I assume in this universe, RT knows better than to fuck up like this. I’d compare it to Maul vs. Vizsla from the Clone Wars.

Meanwhile, Ruby and co. are ready to depart before Qrow approaches them, drunk, with Oscar, who quickly informs the group that they may know him better as Ozpin… Cue Jaune becoming shocked at first… then turning into outright rage. End episode.

Episode 3

We open with Kali making a speech on Adam’s plans to destroy Haven Academy and the rest of the Menagerians hesitant to step forward. One of the guards approaches Kali, then stabs her. In the chaos, the guard runs off, then appears through the crowd, shedding her disguise and revealing herself to the audience as Ilia, who gives her whole “Now is the time to side with Adam” speech and also reveals how her parents died in the dust mines. This goes into a brief scuffle between Sun and Ilia that Ilia gets out of by disguising herself as Blake when Blake joins the fight. This is where you can do that Blake slaps Sun bit, but instead, it’s Ilia who slaps Sun.

We then cut to Jaune slamming Oscar against the wall and shouting: “YOU BASTARD! HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?” Ruby tries to pull Jaune away, but he won’t budge. Oscar, still in Ozpin’s voice, gives the explanation that he is able to reincarnate but hides why or how he can do this. In fact, he hides that his “reincarnation” actually means his soul becomes linked to another’s, much to Oscar’s chagrin. He explains that Lionheart has been very sketchy and warns not to listen to what he says. He then advises that they should move quickly. Note that he doesn’t say that they need to train, since the training arc goes nowhere and we need to not only streamline this but make it a lot more entertaining. Ozpin then de-possesses Oscar, who cries about his hurt back, immediately bringing Ozpin’s methods into question for Ruby for the first time.

Weiss awakes to find herself in a cage next to Pilot Boi, who just gives her a comedic calling out just before Vernal and her troops come in and drag out Pilot Boi. Vernal looks to Weiss and tells the bandits “she’s important. Leave her be.” Weiss asks what’s going on as Vernal tells Weiss about how she’s going to be used as a bartering chip. For what, we don’t know yet, but it’s clarified that she’s not being ransomed back to her father. Vernal then explains that Pilot Boi is merely a spare and that they can do what they want. As she says that, she goes to Pilot Boi as he is held down in front of Raven. Vernal approaches Pilot Boi as Weiss looks on in worry. We then end the episode with a crash of lightning.

Episode 4

Heather and Yang get ambushed, but beat up the gang with ease, then enter the tribe, though not without seeing Pilot Boi’s charred corpse crucified outside the gates as a warning for intruders. Heather and Yang get their weapons ready.

We cut to RNJR, Oscar, and Qrow, who are walking to Raven’s camp. Along the way, Oscar is given a lecture from Qrow on Aura, namely on how to activate it. He then asks Ruby, as she’s the youngest of the group, if fighting is as easy as huntsmen make it out to be. Ruby gives the naïve answer of “of course!” though Jaune brings up how inexperience is discouraged. As Oscar grows afraid of Jaune, Jaune sighs and apologizes. “Sorry, I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with you and Oz right now… I don’t hate you… Just the voice inside you.”

“I know… I hate it too…”

Qrow stops them and tells them they’ve arrived.

Cut to the tribe letting Yang and Heather in where they confront Raven… Heather questions if she’s the one responsible for not just the destruction of several villages, but also the disappearance of huntsmen too. Already, this should send warning flags, but Yang decides to ignore them.

Yang: Take off that mask, Raven.

Raven: Is that anyway to treat your mother? {Heather gives a WTF look}

Yang: My mother is dead and you know it.

Raven: {sneers} Regardless. You’ve proven yourself by coming out to find me. I guess you grew tired of Ozpin’s teachings and wanted to join the winning side.

Yang: That’s not why I’m here.

Raven: Then why are you here?

Yang: For my sister.

Raven: Well, hate to disappoint you, but she’s not here.

Yang: That’s why you’re going to bring me there with your Semblance. It can create portals with you and a close bond, right?

Raven: So… you know about that. Well, unfortunately for you, I don’t respect that brat enough to make a portal.

Yang: {eyes go red} Don’t talk about my sister that way!

Raven: What’s so important about her anyways? From her eyes, she’s already a lost cause for that Ozpin.

Yang: What do you know about Ozpin? You got kicked out the moment he saw that you’re using his teachings to kill innocent people!

Raven: Is that what Taiyang told you? Foolish. Simply foolish. I didn’t get kicked out of STRQ. I left STRQ. I’d rather use those teachings for better things than what Ozpin had in store. He turned my brother and your ‘mother’ into his personal attack dogs and put one of them down when they got too gabby.

Yang: {about to go into a frenzy} You shut your mouth!

Vernal: Are we going to have a problem?

Yang: {sees she has Myrtenaster} W-where did you find that?

Raven: {nods to Vernal, who goes over to reveal a caged Weiss} We had anticipated your arrival since you stepped foot on Anima. The fact that one of your friends just so happened to be close by gave us the perfect bargaining chip.

Yang: What are you going to do to her?

Raven: Nothing, if you join us. {Weiss looks at Raven, having suddenly figured out that’s what Vernal meant}

Yang: And if I refuse?

Raven then signals Vernal to execute Weiss. Just then, Ruby intervenes and speed blitzes her. Weiss then breaks out of the prison with her summon as JNROQ come in. The group is surrounded by bandits as everyone quickly finds out that Raven is Yang’s mom. Ren is the first to attack, seeing Vernal and believing her to be the child he made friends with back in Kuroyuri. This begins a massive clash that is sure to sate the appetites of those who want to say “RWBY’s about four girls who kick ass” and give a taste of what’s to come.

The group have little time to figure out what’s going on. Just that Ren, Weiss and Nora are fighting Vernal (this is where you have Weiss trying to summon only to get shot by Vernal), Jaune is battling some bandits with Oscar and Heather, and Ruby and Yang try to fight Raven, only for Qrow to interfere and say that Raven’s on a whole different level. Raven retreats and after battling some bandits for quite a bit, Hazel comes out of the tent. Turns out that Fort Castle (the place where Adam fought Sienna) was not too far from Raven’s base. Ruby and Hazel reunite briefly before Hazel apologizes and enters the fray. He makes everyone his bitch and that’s without the Dust Crystals. Heather and Qrow are the only ones to give him an even fight, but he quickly overwhelms them too thanks to his Semblance.

While the group manages to fend off the bandits, it’s clear that with Hazel, Raven, and Vernal, they need to make a retreat, especially since Raven asks Hazel to bring in “that Adam boy”, making Yang go full PTSD mode. However, before they could leave, Hazel defeats Heather. Ruby protests that he shouldn’t kill her, but her pleas fall on deaf ears as he finishes Heather off. Ruby begins to cry and asks why he killed her. Hazel just replies “She made her choice.” The group retreat back to Mistral as we end the episode with Raven going back into the camp as we see that a Seer Grimm is inside her tent.

This reveals a rather big twist: Raven is also in league with Salem’s crew, acting as Huntsmen removal instead of Tyrian and Hazel (since they were too busy with their stuff in Volume 4) and it also explains why Salem and the others aren’t as hard-pressed about the Spring Maiden as they should be. They already have her in their grasps and, were it not for Cinder getting Silver-Eye’d, Cinder would have immediately gained the Spring Maiden powers.

Episode 5

After that rollercoaster of an episode, the story relaxes with Sun trying (comedically) to get people to join in the battle for Haven, only for Blake to stop him and tell him that it’s futile. She just visited her mom, who is currently recovering in the house, and tells Sun that they should just give up and leave. Sun refuses, since he wants to give Adam a thing or two about giving Faunus like him a bad name. Were I to completely redo Sun’s character, I’d definitely see him as Claude from Fire Emblem: Three Houses.

Blake then explains to Sun who Ilia is, complete with a Burning the Candle-like flashback. This is where her backstory comes in. She then explains who Adam is. We don’t get a flashback and even so, she knows little about him. Just that he came to the White Fang one day, asserted himself, then when Ghira was assassinated, took the reins of the White Fang, leaving Sienna Khan to be a puppet leader. As such, Blake believes that she’s the one who made Adam the monster he is, when audience members can obviously tell that’s not the case. It’s just Blake putting herself down and Sun points out how this is probably something Adam said to her to make her feel small. If you’re not getting it by now, Sun is basically where Blake learns a lot of Adam’s tactics from and eventually, she becomes a much better person at handling Adam’s BS. The reason why he knows all this is from his own personal experience. To ensure there’s no “mystery box” element, I’m gonna nip it in the bud and say his father’s the RWBY version of King Louie… Which given how he sings about wanting “man’s red flower” and how people compare Adam to Mowgli because he killed Sienna Khan…

Oooooooh, this could be really cool but this is a tweak, not a fanfic. FOCUS! … I want to say that Adam was an experiment by Vacuan scientists (read: shamans who prefer using Dust as science) before being dumped to the Schnees as part of a deal and that’s how we got his Semblance being as weird as it is.

Back at Haven’s dorm, RWYJNR are shaken up from the battle, not to mention Ruby having personally seen her friend’s father murder someone before her eyes. Oscar himself is rather shaken up. Qrow is the only person unfazed, but that’s because he’s always drunk instead. While everyone takes their time in recovering, Ruby and Oscar talk about the future, as Heather was an experienced Huntress. This is where the infamous speech comes in, but Ruby doesn’t blame Salem for killing Penny and Pyrrha, rather she blames Cinder, then mentions how she’s a pawn of Salem and expresses doubt if they could beat her.

Cut to the Albains. They have no communications with Adam and so they have to move on their own. One of them decides “let’s kill Kali!” and the other’s like “uh, isn’t that going to cause people to turn against us?” “No, no, it’s okay dude, they can trust us!” all while Ilia is like “… wtf?” and Yuma’s like “only here for a few minutes, use me effectively.”

Episode 6

Qrow investigates and finds that all the other Huntsmen have met unfortunate ends and all assigned to the same quest: stop the bandits. He mutters about how Raven could do such a thing, only to find a young girl crying and asking for her mother. It’s made clear that this is Heather’s kid and Qrow, for the first time in a longass while, begins to feel remorse, if only because he mistook her for Ruby.

We cut to Raven as she has a meeting with Vernal, Hazel, and Adam. It’s clear that RWYJNR are gonna try and return and rather than prepare for a rematch, Raven proposes to nip it in the bud. She also dotes on Adam a bit, saying how he is better than Yang in every way possible. We don’t know the full extent of what she means just yet, but we’ll find out later.

Ren and Yang have a chat about Raven. Ren’s absolutely pissed that Yang’s mother is the person who torched his town and stole his friend (he assumes she’s kidnapped and is being forced to fight against her will) while Yang is just as irritated that Raven tried to use her friend as leverage. Weiss copes with having seen someone die in front of her and Nora comforts her, casually joking that, if Vernal tried that on her, she’d be sorry. Ruby, Oscar and Jaune discuss on what to do going forward, having Ozpin come out so that they can get some sort of advice, much to Jaune’s chagrin.

Ozpin, however, refuses to speak. Before Jaune could get upset with Oz, he cites that even walls have ears. Cut to Yang as she sees a red-eyed raven outside her house. She quickly remembers the red-eyed raven from Patch, both the one that screamed at Ruby and the one that was there when she lost her arm. She instantly goes on the defensive as the bird flies through the window and changes to Raven. Yang asks how she can do that and she merely says “Oz did this to me.” End of episode.

Episode 7

Everyone rushes in as Raven brings in her proposition: Surrender Yang and she’ll spare the rest of the group. Refuse and they will have the fight come to them. Ozpin interjects and offers Yang in trade for the Spring Maiden, to which everyone, Qrow included, goes “WHAT THE ACTUAL F, DUDE!?” The two have a little back and forth as Ozpin makes clear that she chose to have these powers and points out that if she was salty about being able to turn into a bird at free will without any drawbacks, he could gladly take them back by force. This casual threat is enough to make Raven back off, only to warn the others that a storm is coming.

With that, Ozpin is forced to explain quite a bit. This, unfortunately, is where we can’t mince the scene, since Ozpin has to explain what’s going on. I guess the only way to make it more effective is a little back and forth where the characters share what they do know about Ozpin’s magic and Ozpin fills them in on what they don’t. First and foremost, Yang is not upset about Ozpin and BIRDS. The person being upset is Jaune, especially since Ozpin reveals that not only did he create the Maidens in the first place, but also that by “reincarnate” he meant inhabit the body of a young boy. This is made worse when he reveals accidentally that he is able to reincarnate earlier than intended if he chooses to die instead of being killed.

This sets Jaune off since, as far as he can tell, Ozpin is responsible for Pyrrha’s death more than Cinder. Cinder may have killed her, but it’s Ozpin who not only put Pyrrha in that position, but also paved the way for Cinder to overpower her. Before they could get into a tussle, Yang shouts and has Ozpin promise “no more lies, no more half truths”. He obviously lies about promising that and Qrow can see the crossed fingers behind his back.

We then end with Cinder and co arriving to make negotiations with Raven.

Episode 8

The beginning actually stays the same, all things considered. The only massive change is that Yang is not easily convinced to want Blake back because Weiss told her “lol, my mummy was drunk so shut it”. In fact, we see the others talk about Blake and Jaune is the most bitter, even more than Yang, because Blake was a White Fang member and refused to share any information regarding them, which could have led to an easier time dealing with the Fall.

Ruby puts her foot down and tells Jaune to stop being so salty over Pyrrha’s death, but is quickly outvoted since Ren and Nora are also upset that Pyrrha died. She’s frustrated and goes to interrupt Qrow and Ozpin discussing what to do regarding Raven. She asks Ozpin what he knows about the Silver Eyes, saying how it’s the only thing that might incapacitate Vernal. Ozpin tells her he doesn’t know too much about Silver Eyes, as he did not have any himself, but reassures her that the Silver Eyes would have no impact on a Maiden.

Raven and Cinder chat and Cinder makes it clear that it’s time for the Spring Maiden to relinquish her powers to her, reassuring Vernal that she can make it quick and painless. Raven stops Cinder and says that Ruby and the others have set their sights on the Spring Maiden and that if she were to take them now, she’d have a target on her back, reminding Cinder of the Silver Eyes. She then makes a proposal. Salem has given them a blank check on how Haven falls since they have all the cards on the table, so why not kill two birds with one stone… Or rather, kill one crow and seven kids with one army?

Blake’s bit with Ilia stays the same as well, but the difference is that Ilia wants to keep Blake for herself instead of sending her to Adam, saying how she can keep her safe. Yes, this edges her more into the Psycho Lesbian route, but unintentionally. She genuinely cares for Blake’s well-being and not in some sort of yandere bit. Sun intervenes and the group runs back to the house while the guards have a war with the White Fang.

Episode 9

We instantly kick off the Battle of Menagerie instead of a long, drawn out sequence of Raven talking with Cinder. It mostly stays the same, but how the house catches fire is different. Blake sees Ilia in the dark, shoots her and goes “rly?”, though, in the middle of this, the Albains begin to fight amongst each other.

Corsac is willing to kill the Belladonnas for the cause (“THEY’VE GIVEN US NOTHING BUT GRIEF!”) while Fennec is trying to convince him that Adam is a lost cause and they need to replace him. During this scuffle, it’s revealed that Corsac was the one who set up that roadside ambush that killed Ghira, believing that Ghira was weak and that they needed a stronger leader ready to give the Faunus much needed progress. Fennec tells him that all it’s given them is chaos.

The two clash and set the house ablaze. Ilia realizes that Blake would be in immediate danger and struggles to save her instead of seeing the assassination to the end, thus redeeming her as she nearly dies saving Blake. Sun sacrifices himself to get Kali out of the burning building, but its revealed to have been his Semblance at work. When Sun shows up, Blake finally slaps him for realises, and this time, for good reason.

Blake gives her “humans didn’t do this” speech, Ilia playing a recording of Corsac’s hand in Ghira’s death, and this motivates the crowd to fight for Haven. Fennec emerges, heavily burned and carrying his brother’s tattered cloak. He has much to atone for and offers to remain on Menagerie with Kali to establish a new White Fang, giving Blake the task to destroy the old one. Ilia, Sun, and Blake go with the Menagerian army to Haven, with their captain, having comedically been neglected all Volume, finally getting the spotlight… He’s going to steal Robyn’s line of “still here, everyone” because honestly, that has a better spot here than in the show proper.

Episode 10

Lionheart messages the crew that Raven had left Vernal at his office and they go. They know full well it’s a trap and so Qrow elects to stay behind in bird form. Lionheart instantly stammers and freaks as he sees kids and not Qrow.

Lionheart: W-where is Qrow?

Ruby: I don’t know if you’ve heard of us, but we’re Teams RWBY and JNPR. We’ve accomplished many things without an adult to save us or tell us what to do-

Weiss: Uh, technically-

Ruby: {whispers to Weiss} Ssssh! You’re ruining my groove! {speaks to Lionheart} Even though we’re incomplete, our friends are by our side. And that’s why… {she points her sniper rifle at Lionheart} We’re not going to fall for your tricks!

As she fires, a fireball comes out and there’s a large explosion as Cinder flies through the smoke. The Battle of Haven begins as, one by one, the villains enter the fray. First Cinder, then Emerald and Mercury, then Raven and Vernal, and lastly Hazel. Lionheart is reluctant to fight, but Oscar forces his hand.

Meanwhile, outside, Qrow is attacked by Adam and the two duel it out for the episode. Maybe have Qrow quip a line like “so, you’re the one who severed my niece’s arm? Well, why don’t you give me a leg?” and some joke about equivalent exchange that would be funnier if Vic had voiced Qrow in this universe.

I’m not gonna sugar coat it, the Battle of Haven, at least in the opening act, is a battle royale and one that V5 should have been. We have six people going up against six people, each of them taking turns at their opponents and switching out every now and then, the only consistent battle pairings are Qrow vs. Adam and Lionheart vs. Ozpin. By the midway point, though, the fight has been finalized to…

· Jaune vs. Cinder

· Ren vs. Raven

· Weiss vs. Vernal

· Nora vs. Emerald

· Yang vs. Mercury

· Ruby vs. Hazel

Each of them gives their own reason why they’re fighting. Jaune and Ren want to make their opponent pay, Weiss wants Vernal to give her back her weapon (yeah, she never gave it back), Yang is angry that Mercury framed her, Nora tries to help Ren but is interrupted by Emerald, and Ruby fights Hazel to reason with him.

Eventually, the battle comes to a head when Emerald uses her illusion powers and Ruby witnesses it. She quickly realizes she caused Pyrrha to dismantle Penny and goes ballistic. Before Emerald knows it, she gets speed blitzed and beaten up by Ruby’s fists. Ruby then chops off Mercury’s prosthetics as soon as she notices them, knocking both out of the fight. It then becomes a little one-sided as Nora helps Ren fight Raven and Yang helps Ruby fight Hazel, where Ruby gives her “I’m angry” line.

Jaune nearly getting killed by Cinder, along with Weiss’s aura running out and screaming in pain, causes Ruby’s Silver Eyes to go off as it begins to burn Cinder. Cinder gives her a fireball to the chest in desperation, destroying Ruby’s aura and leaving her venerable for a hit. Jaune swings his sword and, while he misses like in the original, gives Cinder a deep cut on her cheek, right below where the burn is. Qrow’s fight with Adam knocks him into the room and Adam waltzes in, giving Yang the PTSD trip of a lifetime, not helped by Adam gloating…

“I didn’t realize that when we fought at Beacon, I was facing Raven’s own daughter… Now I know what she means when she said I was the superior child!”

Boom! Plot twist! Adam’s Raven’s son! Well, adopted son. But still!

Also, Cinder decides to make Jaune’s life a living hell by trying to stab Weiss… But Ruby runs and takes the blow for her, ending the episode.

Episode 11

The episode starts off rather similarly, with the exception of Ruby being the one that’s mortally wounded. Jaune cries and says “we need you!”, which given what he said in Volume 4, fits better.

The major remainder of the fight is focused on fighting Hazel, Lionheart and Adam, as Emerald and Mercury are still out of commission and Cinder, Raven, and Vernal f off to the vault. The two prove to be a powerhouse, especially since Hazel powers up Adam’s Moonslices and Lionheart handing Hazel more Dust Crystals. Ruby heals up and tells Jaune “whatever you’re doing, don’t stop”, only for Jaune to go “then don’t take my hands off the wound!”

Pretty standard battle and we have a reveal that Raven was the true Maiden.

Episode 12

The battle comes to a second head when Blake’s army arrives, forcing Adam to leave the battle and confront Blake. His fight happens like before, but Blake appears behind him instead of in the path of the blade.

Hazel, meanwhile, is not tiring out for a second. Not even a stab from a Lancer is enough to take him out. Ruby comes to and evens out the battle by speed blitzing him. Yang and Blake meet each other for the first time, but as Yang tries to reconcile with Blake, not only is she reminded of the bitter words she gave her in V3, but Adam’s presence makes it a hard-emotional hurdle to break. As soon as Oscar warns Yang that the Relic of Knowledge should not fall in to the wrong hands (during this, he explains what’s so important about the Vault), Yang goes after Raven, Cinder, and Vernal, much to Ruby’s dismay. She ends up losing her arm from Mercury grabbing it.

The Battle of the Bitches remains unchanged because it is GOAT.

Episode 13

The final episode of the Volume (because Volumes 6 & 7 are also 13 episodes long) has Blake defeating Adam, with Sun breaking off one of his horns because Monkey King. Sun gives chase, only for Adam to almost kill him were it not for Ilia saving Sun. You can have it so that Ilia is killed by Adam here.

Blake joins in and we have a fight scene with Hazel & Lionheart vs RWBJNROQ. It’s short, but everyone gets a hit in. Ruby realizes that there’s only one way to stop Hazel. She flies over and aims her sniper rifle at the Dust Crystals on Hazel’s arms. Weiss and Blake hold Hazel down with Glyphs and Shadows as Hazel looks at Ruby. He quickly realizes what she’s doing and asks:

Hazel: What do you think you’re doing!? What would Gretchen think of this?!

Ruby: … You made your choice.

BANG! As the sniper rifle hits the crystal, it triggers a chain reaction that causes Hazel to explode, killing him in the process.

Cut to Yang and Raven. The two have a stand off as Yang begins to piece everything together. We have a flashback of the fall of Kuroyuri, this time from the little girl’s perspective. She’s upset since she brought the Bandits to the place and caused enough havoc to have it be destroyed by Grimm. She protests this to Raven who, having run out of patience for her, stabs her and says how she’ll use her powers in ways she can never imagine, mirroring how Cinder killed Pyrrha.

Yang bitterly calls out Raven for murdering a child and Raven claims it was mercy. They get into a heated argument, but no one wishes to move. It becomes apparent that, with Raven out of aura and Yang without an arm and also having very low aura, this battle will not only be quick, but deadly. And yet, the battle lasts for a good chunk of time as the two try to avoid getting hit, Yang out maneuvering Raven while Raven uses her magic. It ends with Yang delivering a fatal punch to Raven’s gut as Raven lays dying in her arms. Raven warns her that, should she take the Relic, Salem will hunt her down. As such, she refuses to give her the Maiden Powers and dies without Yang in her thoughts. Yang goes to get the Relic, then begins to cry.

Emerald awakens from the sound of the explosion and finds that she is out numbered. She goes all “CINDER WILL TAKE ALL OF YOU OUT!” before Yang comes up and devastates Emerald so much, she makes the Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Salem. However, this isn’t a jump scare. Rather, it’s a full-on boss battle as RWBY try to face it like in the opening. While they realize it’s a hallucination, their mind makes it so real that one hit from it is enough to knock Yang out.

Lionheart sees this and, deciding to be brave for the first (and last) time in a long while, stockpiles the remaining Dust Crystals he has and tells the others to get out as he deals with the illusion. Before they do, he tells Oscar to tell the others about his betrayal. Although he was brave in this final moment, he wants everyone to know he was always a coward. He then sets the crystals into overdrive and explodes, taking both him and the illusion out, but also collapsing Haven’s main hall down and with it, the entrance to the Vault.

The group are confronted with police and concerned Faunus… Cut to a few days later as Menagerian Faunus are welcomed with open arms and news of Lionheart’s heroic sacrifice makes headlines. A manhunt is put out for Adam, Emerald, and Mercury, with Cinder being presumed dead.

After having rested for a bit, Ruby confronts Jaune about wanting to kill Cinder and tells him that she doesn’t feel anything good when she hurt Emerald and Mercury and even feels horrible for having killed Hazel. Nora and Ren join in and tell Jaune not to doubt himself for a second. Basically, that bit in V7 is here. RNJR disbands, but not without a tearjerking remark from Jaune where he says that “at least one team is back together”… Not bitterly, surprisingly enough. Oscar joins in and asks Jaune if he’s willing to take him in. Jaune asks for his name so they can figure out how to name themselves and when he hears that it’s Oscar Pine, he just chuckles and says “Well, there’s always JNPR…”

Blake and Yang are clearly shown to not be back together, but Yang is willing to let Blake stay for now because that’s all that matters. Weiss and Ruby talk about Ruby sacrificing herself for Weiss and she chews her out in a rather sweet way. Qrow, meanwhile, pours one out for Raven. She may have been a bitch, but she was still his sister. Oscar comes and calls for a meeting. With the vault no longer accessible for the time being and the Spring Maiden having gone to someone random, they have no choice but to leave for Atlas. There’s a pause before Weiss goes “WHAT THE FU-”

Roll credits.

DVD Exclusive Episode

This is where we have the STRQ flashback episode now that one of the core members is dead. It is a simple how they formed and how they eventually left, with Raven leaving STRQ on her own terms soon after she’s inducted into the shadow war, Summer leaving on her final mission assigned by Ozpin, and Taiyang retiring as a Huntsman. Qrow, the last one, laments on how everyone he loves is gone and is driven to drink more, foreshadowing to his alcoholism spike in V6. Ozpin comes to him and gives him a rather heartwarming speech about how time heals all wounds, using RWBY and JNPR as examples of this.

As he ends the speech, we end on a small girl in the middle of Shion village, now going through a rebuilding, before her eyes flare up and she begins to use gusts of wind to help clean up the debris.

And that’s how you tweak Volume 5. Granted, a lot of stuff has been changed and makes at least one hole in the V6 Tweak, namely the DVD exclusive episode for that. To which I say… Make it an extended look at the beginnings of Remnant 2.0. Apparently, there was a lot more information RT couldn’t squeeze into The Lost Fable, so do that.

With that, the Tweaking Series is finally done. I don’t think I’ll do V8 unless it proves to be just as problematic as V7, V6, or V5. This has been a rather entertaining ride and I hope you guys loved these entries. Adios, amigos.

#RWDE #Rewrite #RWBY #RWBY Rewrite

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annashipper · 5 years

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Highlights from Enty’s 4th podcast on Benedict Cumberbatch & Sophie Hunter

Anna: Enty, I’m gonna say it again. Careful! Your Karon is showing ;o)

This is a collection of quotes from the 4th podcast, with Enty basically giving the Skeptics pointers on what we’re supposed to be discussing, versus what we are discussing:

“I think it was an arranged thing, things went a little haywire, and you just couldn’t put the thing back in the box. You just couldn’t get it back in there.”

“Just because a relationship is not real, doesn’t mean the child or the baby that comes into the relationship isn’t real. You don’t need to have dolls or anything. If you’re willing to go out on this ledge of having a fakish showmance type of relationship, then you’re probably willing to go out on the edge and do the baby thing too.”

“The Skeptics think if the baby is real it’s probably from the ex boyfriend. Again. Possibility. I’m more likely to believe it for the first rather than the next.”

“Could they have gone out one night after Harvey said ‘Go out’ and they hook up and she gets pregnant from a one-night stand? Is that possible? I say that’s highly possible. And I also say that she could’ve told him that he got her pregnant from the one-night stand. That’s also highly possible.”

“This is someone who was competing against other people and obviously really wanted that award and wasn’t gonna let anything stop him”.

“Even if Benedict found out after the fact that the child wasn’t his is he gonna say ‘Oh, I broke up with her because she lied about the kid’. You know, does that really seem like something he would do? Or would he just take out his frustration and just go have sex with a whole bunch of other people?”

“And once she got pregnant, she told Benedict ‘oh, it’s yours’, and he says ‘oh, well we should get married, it’s the proper thing to do, and also if we get married right before the Academy awards, perhaps more people will vote for us’. And I told you already that they got married far too late to influence any award votes. But. Somebody could’ve said to him that it would influence the votes.”

“Let’s ask some questions:

Why was she living in New York at the time… June 2014, when they were kind of starting this, right? And she spent March 2014 with a guy that was maybe her boyfriend.

Her brother said, in November of 2014, that the romance began about 5 months earlier, which would’ve been June 2014. But you see Benedict, he was definitely out on dates with people in the late summer. There’s that blonde that he was seeing at the end of August 2014. It’s definitely not Sophie. There’s loads of people on twitter who said ‘oh your girlfriend’s gorgeous’, and they were definitely not talking about Sophie. Benedict and Sophie didn’t spend any time together between June and almost the end of August of 2014. And then you had the blonde you saw in late August of 2014, and there’s a brunette he saw in early August of 2014. Not Sophie.”

“They used a lot of buffers. Whether it’s other actors or actresses, they used Benedict’s niece, Emily, one time, to just kind of have a distraction of what they should be doing.”

“And then there was the April 2015 Vogue article, stating that the wedding dress designers said in January that it took them 3 months to design the dress. So January they said that they’d already been designing for 3 months, which means that they were working on the dress from the engagement announcement, if not before. And then Valentino said they were rushing to make the dress in three months, even though it usually takes six months, but the photos from the Spring/Summer 2014 Valentino couture show, it shows Hunter’s dress was created for the collection that season that showed in January of 2014, which means it was designed in 2013, before Hunter even began dating Benedict.”

“There’s the BAFTAs, that video where Sophie just kind of shoves Benedict’s arm off of her back.

She then takes it back and pulls him close. I don’t know if she was angry and she saw the camera and ‘Oh, I’ve got to take it back, I’ve got to make up for it’.”

Anna: It wasn’t. She pulled him back because she was having a flash photography moment, even though Ben was done posing by that time:

“You have these Skeptics who don’t believe the relationship is real. Fine. I can totally get on board with that part. So then they have to say that the babies are not real and all that sort of stuff. The thing is that the Skeptics have a lot going for them in the sense that nobody had ever heard of Sophie before. She was most probably some type of escort kind of situation, considering the pictures on the websites. She has faked her resume to the n-th degree, and the relationship is not very chummy overall. But it could just be a British thing.”

“He had always said ‘oh you know, my private life, I’m an extremely private person.’, but then during that whole Oscar season, where he had Sophie coming around, all of a sudden everything’s timed to not. Engagement before the promotion, for them to , and then the pregnancy, and then you know, like I said before with the voting, and then the wedding during the final week, and you know… it was all timed in this tiny little window of promotion. Whenever you do something like that, it’s just gonna make people skeptical. I totally understand where people are coming from, I’m on board with you.”

“I’ve talked about the on camera affection and then that disappears right after, or they notice the camera and then ‘oh my gosh, they’ve got to be together’. … There was one time, I think it was after a premiere, they were holding hands and everything, and trying to look all lovey dovey, and then as they were leaving, they thought that people had stopped shooting, and they hadn’t; she got into a completely different SUV. They didn’t kiss, they didn’t hug, they didn’t say anything, they didn’t say bye. She just walked over to her SUV, he walked to his.”

“There was the staged paparazzi photos that he did right before and after the Oscars. And that was that whole Jaguar thing. When you do something like that, before and after the Oscars; when it’s obviously you’re doing it for Jaguar, you’re leaving the door open,

that it shows to me is that you’re willing to sell your soul; you’re willing to sell yourself if the price is right. So then it makes me think that you’re willing to do whatever it takes as long as there is something for you.

Am I willing to fake a relationship? If that cheque is right, if I win an Oscar, and then I get more; yes. Are you willing to do this? Are you willing do that? And it goes for both sides. Yeah, because I want publicity. I want to be a director. I want to be an actress. I’m willing to do that. And when I see people openly, blatantly doing this thing for Jaguar, and not even saying that it’s an ad, trying to pretend that it’s real, and that they’re real paparazzi when they’re not, and they’re professionally taken photos, it just shows that you’ll just do anything for the cheque.”

“I remember on Oscar night there were some reporters, and they were trying to ask Sophie some questions and he wouldn’t let her answer. And it’s the same kind of thing that Justin Timberlake did to Jessica Biel, basically shutting her down saying ‘this is my night, it’s not yours; you’re not important in this situation, it’s me.’ Now. Is that why Benedict was doing it? Maybe. The guy has got a big ego. Or was he doing It because he didn’t know if Sophie was gonna say something that was gonna contradict anything else that he had said earlier in the day in the 10.000 interviews he gave during the week?”

“You get all these inconsistent stories …. because he can’t keep his stories straight and what he’s told people.”

“You can’t choose to say ‘I’m a very private person, and hey I’m gonna go ahead and plant all this stuff, and I want you to report it all, even though it’s about my personal life, but then anything I don’t wanna talk about, or any questions that you have ... no no no no … cause I’m into my privacy.’

“…And then, at the end of awards season, you’re like ‘Oh crap! What the hell?’ but the problem is that at that point, people said ‘Is this all fake?’, and you’re like ‘No! No it’s not fake. No it’s not fake. We’re staying together forever’. And that happens a lot in the gossip business, and I’ve told you about this. Where I … Sometimes you’ll say OK, these people are on their last legs, and they’ve got a couple of weeks to go, and they’ll read it. And just to spite me, or spite any tabloid that says it, not just me, they will stick together for at least a couple of months, sometimes longer, just so the tabloid doesn’t look right. So if everybody is accusing you of having this fake relationship, and you don’t want to be proved wrong, what do you do? You just play that damned thing out. ‘We’re just going to keep going. We’re not getting divorced. We’re just going to keep going and going and going.’”

#crazydaysandnights #enty

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issysindieblog · 6 years

Text

INTERVIEW - SPINN

SPINN are quickly winning over a fan-base across the UK from locals in their hometowns in Liverpool where they grew up to now adoring teen girls and this comes as no surprise to anybody. They have the cheek yet optimism of a new band despite completing their final lineup only last year and will no doubt continue to roar through the UK music scene and gain an army of avid supporters in years to come. This month, the boys are embarking on a tour of the UK, playing a series of gigs up and down the country from Glasgow to Bristol. They finish the tour off on the 28th September back in their home-city of Liverpool (O2 Academy 2 Liverpool). They've impressively already managed to sell out three of their six dates and have recently announced that they have been signed to American label, anti fragile music. The thing that the band are chuffed about though? The fact that one of their songs, It's Not Getting Better, was played on Made in Chelsea earlier on this week.

SPINN have released eight songs so far, including a self-titled EP which was released in April of this year. Singles of their's include catchy 'It's Not Getting Better' which is a song that stays in your head for days after first hearing it's memorable lyrics ( "you know it's killing me being here, killing me, being here.”) and groovy guitar lines which resemble that of early work from Blossoms.

Pictured below, SPINN.

So, (currently) 180,000 monthly Spotify listeners, a UK tour this month with half of the dates sold out and a growing army of supporters, I had questions for Johnny from SPINN and these were his answers... Maybe I'm slightly biased, but I think that these are the best answers to an interview that I've ever read.

1. Was there a particular moment that you realised that SPINN were becoming popular?

I was once getting a meal deal in Tesco and I saw somebody walk in the shop wearing a SPINN teeshirt. I was absolutely buzzing that somebody was wearing some of our merch and later on they messaged our Instagram page and said they'd seen me but had been too scared to come up and say hello. The same thing happened to me when I saw Ex-Everton Winger Steven Pienaar in a different Tesco. That made me realise we were doing something right, I still think we've got a while to go before we can say we're properly popular though. Just got to keep working innit x

2. Away from making music and gigging, what are your favourite things to do together?

Honestly just knocking about with each other like we always have, is what we like to do. Usually it can be anything from just walking around the shops together to going on nights out and staying up till 8AM. Last week Louis had to stay at my flat and we spent the time going to Tesco and prank calling Sean.

This has been a very Tesco centric interview I'll try and steer away from that for the rest of it. Right that's besides the point, as long as we're still knocking about together and taking the piss out of each other, we'll enjoy it x

3. You're going on tour soon, do you each have an essential item you will take with you?

I try to bring a book of some sort for the drive currently, it's Nine Stories by J.D Salinger

Andy ALWAYS brings a hairdryer and various hair products, rocking a bowl when you're on the road ain't no easy fete!

Sean usually just brings himself, that leather jacket he's always got on. A spare bass guitar wouldn't go a miss either, though. Once he left his on the side of the motorway when we were on the way back from Derby, good times.

Louis brings his Aston Villa blanket and 20 Litres of Vape liquid, the little fiend.

4. What/who are your major influences?

Collectively: The Drums, The Smiths, The La's, The Cure, Orange Juice, Ride, My Bloody Valentine.

Individually: Too many to list xoxo

5. Let’s fast forward five years from now, what do you see SPINN doing?

Ideally I'd like to get to the level of Wolf Alice or The 1975 are at now, that would be the dream. If we keep on working then I can see no reason why we can't get there, if we don't then that's fair enough, but we have to at least try! Anyway that's the dream, as long as we can make a living off the band and keep writing music that develops and matures with us then I'll be happy.

6. Do you have any pre-gig rituals?

I always have to go on stage last, I don't know why. At particularly big gigs we listen to 'I Am A God' by Kanye West before we go on, because it's such a good tune for getting hyped to. Other than that, apart from the odd bout of stage fright it's usually just a beer with the boiz before going on.

7. How has your music evolved since you first began playing music together?

I think our songwriting has definitely improved. When we listen to our new stuff compared to our older songs, it's just in a different league, that only comes with experience though. I think that us touring has definitely helped us realise what is what in terms of song structures and live performances. So to answer the question properly, yeah we've got a lot better (even though we thought we were boss before when we weren't lol).

8. Can you describe each member of the band in under ten words?

Andy - A man who loves his haircut more than life itself.

Sean - Donned in a tight leather jacket he's often quite hungover.

Louis - A small man, usually asleep in his Aston Villa blanket.

Me (Johnny) - Taller than the other four, basically the god of dancing xoxo

9. How long have you been playing together?

Louis joined about a year ago, but we've been a band for about 2 and a bit years. Saying that, I don't think we would be SPINN without Louis so therefore I'm gonna say a year.

10. What has been your favourite and least favourite venue to play so far?

My favourite was The Magnet in Liverpool. There's so many boss memories there but now it's been turned into one of those chain comedy clubs which is something that chips away at my soul every time I walk past.

My least favourite was The Sitwell Tavern in Derby. Everybody who came to see us was lovely and so were the other bands and the promoters Dominic (just wanted to make sure if they read this they know I had a boss time at the gig and in the chippy afterwards ;) ).

But, and it's a big but, the pub had fuck off massive "The S*n" flags up all over the gaff which frankly isn't something we like to see anywhere, as we think that that rag is scum, sorry not sorry.

SPINN set out on their debut headline tour this month at the following locations:

21st September - Surf Cafe, Tynemouth

22nd September - Broadcast, Glasgow

25th September - Record Junkee, Sheffield

26th September - Hy Brasil Music Club, Bristol

27th September - Thousand Island (formerly Upstairs at The Grage), London

28th September - O2 Academy 2 Liverpool

Tickets are available to buy now at https://www.musicglue.com/spinn-band/ and all of SPINN's music is available to stream on Apple Music and Spotify.

#interview #review #music review #music blog #spinn

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 7 years

Text

My Bloody Sweetheart (Part 4 (Final))

Summary: The reader is safe thanks to Dean...she thinks...

My Bloody Sweetheart Masterlist

Pairing: Demon!Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,900ish

Warnings: language, violence

A/N: Demon Dean, you’re something alright...

It’d been nearly a day since you got out of Little Gorge, not sure if Dean was dead, caught, alive or what. All you knew was his note in the backpack said you’d be safe at those coordinates so that’s where you went, in the middle of nowhere Kansas, knocking on a big black door, your blade ready to go just in case.

You saw the door open tentatively, a gun in the person’s hand quickly get hidden behind their back.

“Are you Sam?” you asked, taking in the man’s face, recognizing his eyes the most. “Sam Winchester?”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” said Sam, looking around and then down at you. “You dated Dean in high school.”

“This is nuts but...Dean sent me here. Bad stuff is going down in Little Gorge. I don’t even know if he’s alive anymore. You got to help me,” you said. Sam looked you up and down again, tilting his head at you. “What?”

“Dean told you to come here,” said Sam. “Dean did?”

“Yes,” you said. “He’s a uh...a demon.”

“I know that,” said Sam, opening the door wider and pulling you inside. “I tried to cure him a few months back. He nearly killed me before he escaped.”

“That doesn’t sound like the Dean I know,” you said. Sam went down a set of stairs, you on his tail as he spread his arms out at the tables in front of you to show you what looked like research.

“Demons lie to get what they want. If he wanted sex or a girlfriend, he’d say whatever he had to,” said Sam.

“But why send me back here? He loves me,” you said, Sam sighing before a grunt caught your attention.

“Left that front door open a bit too long, Sammy,” said Dean, standing at the top of the stairs. “Just needed a little diversion to jam it and let me walk straight in. Thanks for that by the way, kiddo.”

“Dean has been trying to kill me for months, Y/N,” said Sam. “No wonder why I haven’t heard from him lately.”

“I’m back at full demon strength again too, baby bro,” said Dean with a grin. “A little play acting here, a few demon deaths there...an idiot Levi who’d do anything to get his soul back after fucking up...and Y/N? It was like dealing with a little lovestruck puppy dog she was. Tsk tsk. Kiddo, you made it almost too easy.”

“You...what?” you asked, Dean laughing as he walked down a few steps.

“It wasn’t hard when literally everyone around you was lying to you. I wanted to kill Sammy but I couldn’t find a way to get him to come out or to get back in the bunker. Basically I figured trick my old high school sweetheart by scaring her into coming running to Sammy. He knew I talked about you every once in a while, checked up to make sure you were doing okay, that I still cared...he let you walk in like nothing. He’s been so careful too. The rest was just to have fun. Although the sex...that was certainly an unexpected bonus,” said Dean.

“Wow, you love hearing yourself talk, don’t you?” asked Sam, crossing his arms. Dean growled and made his way down the stairs, pushing you aside and straight for Sam.

“Oh, I’ve been dreaming of this day for a long-” he said before coughing.

“I’m sorry,” you said, pulling the demon blade you’d used out of Dean’s back, watching him fall against the table but stay upright for the most part. “Why didn’t it work?”

“He’s not a normal demon,” said Sam, grabbing Dean and pulling him through a hall and another, you right after them until Sam was tossing Dean in a room and chair.

“I wasn’t going to kill you kiddo but guess who made the naughty list,” said Dean, struggling as he was tied down, Sam cuffing him until he stopped moving.

“He’s not going anywhere,” said Sam.

“Is he okay?” you asked, Dean laughing.

“You just tried to kill me and now you care if my boo boo hurts?” he mocked.

“Yeah, it’s probably healing already,” said Sam. “I think she likes you jackass or else she could have got you somewhere far more lethal.”

“Okay, blah blah blah, let’s get going with this cure again so I can get loose, again, and rip you apart this time. Both of you actually,” said Dean, smiling at you.

“Y/N, can you stay here and watch him? I need to go get some things.”

Twelve Hours Later

“How’s he doing?” you asked Sam. He smiled as he pulled Dean’s door shut. “Is his back...”

“It’s perfectly fine. He’s pretty wiped but he wants to apologize to you when you’re ready,” said Sam.

“I’m the one that stabbed him,” you said.

“Dean says there’s more to it than that. About that night whatever that night is,” said Sam. “Give me a shout if you need anything.”

“Thanks Sam,” you said, waiting until he was gone to go into Dean’s room. He was on his bed, quietly staring at the door, wearing a sad smile. “Hey, De.”

“Hi kiddo,” said Dean. You sat down on the edge of the bed, Dean looking away. “Sorry about...using you like that.”

“You said to never trust a demon,” you said, Dean lifting his head cautiously. “I did trust you...just not all the way.”

“I told you about hunting,” said Dean. “I never wanted that for you.”

“I’ve killed a demon and almost got another one. I don’t think I’m too bad at it,” you said, Dean smiling and staring at his lap.

“You don’t have it in you to be mean to me, even when you have every right,” said Dean.

“Demon Dean, I’d be mean to him but you? You’re my, De,” you said, holding his hand. “You’re pretty mean to yourself from what Sam tells me.”

“We’ll call in our hunter friends, clear out the demons that are left in Little Gorge if there are any. There never was one in Colt. He’ll probably take over the Chief position. He was always a good guy. You should go home to him when it’s all said and done,” said Dean.

“Sam warned me you’d try to pull this,” you said. “I might have been living with an imposter the past two weeks but if I start over and think...think about how I felt when I saw you again after all these years...I still want that.”

“It’s not the way it works, Y/N. This life is horribly dangerous and-”

“And blah blah blah, I’m not buying what you’re selling, Dean. Tell me whatever it was you wanted to say about that night at the party and then let’s have our second shot at this,” you said.

“We left town because a demon was on our tail and dad wanted us out of there. He didn’t tell us until much later but that’s why we left. It’s how you got hurt and Levi sold his soul to get you back. He said it back at the house a few nights ago, everything started with me leaving that party,” said Dean.

“It was not your fault or your dad’s that he wanted to keep his kids safe. Levi is the one that pushed too far and got himself in that mess and he’s lucky he got his soul back. For a demon, a tricky bastard one I’ll give you that, you never did anything to me,” you said.

“You’re not going to just leave and go live a normal, quiet life now, are you?” asked Dean.

“Only if you want to come with,” you said. “Or else I’ll get used to this one.”

“It’s not a good idea, Y/N,” said Dean.

“Do you remember when I asked you if you wanted to go to homecoming with me and you said it wasn’t a good idea?” you asked, Dean biting his bottom lip. “You liked me but didn’t think you could have me so I had to prove you wrong.”

“If we do this, we take this slow and I mean slow, kiddo,” he said.

“Whatever you say, De.”

Three Months Later

“Hi, did you find everything you were looking for?” you asked, lifting your head up to find Dean leaning over the counter.

“You’re the only thing I’m looking for,” he said with a smirk. “You’re out of pie. Again.”

“A normal town does not go through as much pie as you do in a week, Dean,” you said. “I’ll make you one this weekend.”

“I want it now though,” he said with a whine.

“Any trouble? Never a good sign when a grown man is whining in a grocery store,” said Colt, coming up behind Dean in line.

“We’re out of pie so he’s upset,” you said, Colt nodding and hiding part of his cart.

“You took the last pie!” said Dean, Colt shrugging. “Some friend you are.”

“Eh, I got crazy Levi off your back to go get better in a nice cushy resort and a recommendation for the academy from the Chief of Little Gorge. That’s pretty good for someone who was a murder suspect three months ago,” said Colt.

“You’re the Chief, dumbass,” said Dean, pushing Colt’s shoulder but moving out of the way. “So...have you heard anything more on my application?”

“You’re not even thirty. You’re still worried about them rejecting it?” asked Colt.

“I’m worried about them rejecting me for having a juvie record and an unstable home life and living on the road most of my adult one. Then there’s my adult record and-”

“Colt,” you said, cocking your head at your friend. “Would you just tell him already?”

“Since you’re applying to the Little Gorge police department specifically and were unfairly harassed by Levi...I may have a little sway in the decision process,” said Colt.

“And...” said Dean, Colt straight faced. “Oh come on, this is cruel and unusual punishment.”

“Your acceptance package got delivered this morning. You’ll report to the academy the beginning of next month and six months from now, you’ll be deputy chief of Little Gorge,” said Colt.

“Congratulations, De,” you said, expecting a bigger reaction out of him. He wanted out of hunting after the demon incident but he needed to do something where he helped people. When the opening in town happened and with some persuading of Colt on your end to look past Dean’s record, you knew you’d found the perfect fit for him.

“Thank you Colt,” said Dean, nodding his head. “Really, thank you.”

“You got a job. I got pie. Even trade,” said Colt, your mind going back to work as Dean started to smile wide. “You better not fail anything. I don’t want to be running this town by myself for too long.”

“You got it, Colt,” said Dean. “I’ll do good, promise.”

“It’s your turn to buy pizza tonight,” said Colt, pointing a finger at you.

“It’s always my turn!” you said, getting a laugh out of him as he headed out and you turned your focus on Dean. “You’re going to be a cop.”

“Yeah,” he said, wearing a shy smile. “You knew, didn’t you? That’s why you asked me to swing by.”

“I may have been let on that some good news was coming your way. Sam might also be coming to visit since I told him...yesterday,” you said.

“He’s finally got a big brother he can be proud of,” said Dean.

“He’s always had one of those, De. I’m proud too,” you said. “For how far you’ve come the past few months.”

“I had some help from this girl I fell in love with a while back,” he said, leaning over the counter to kiss you. “My sweetheart.”

“Mm,” you said, smiling when he pulled away. “Give me ten minutes and then we can swing by the diner, bring home some pie for you.”

“Oh, I love you so much,” said Dean. “I’m going to fill up Baby while I’m waiting.”

“Don’t take too long.”

Dean POV

“Shit,” I said, kicking at the tire, huffing as the meter ticked up and up. I’d hoped getting rid of the demon side of me would calm things down. But all I could think of was ripping the guy whistling annoyingly a row over to shreds. This morning it was the neighbor washing the car. Yesterday, the mailman. Even good news wasn’t helping. When Baby finally finished, I shoved my sleeve up, the Mark red and pulsing. “Shit.”

“Something wrong Dean?” asked Colt, walking back to his cruiser to fill up his tank.

“Just you know, gas prices. This thing isn’t exactly fuel efficient,” I said adjusting my shirt, Colt nodding.

“Yeah but it’s awesome. It’s not like you have to drive everywhere in Little Gorge anyways,” said Colt.

“True,” I said, forcing a smile on. “I’ll swing by the station to talk about my training tomorrow.”

“See you around Winchester,” said Colt, turning his attention to his car as I got in Baby and pulled up outside the store to park.

“Relax, relax,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. “It’s the Mark. It’s just a Mark. You can live with this. You can be good. Be good for her. Try to be good...she’d probably forgive us if we slipped up but gotta be good for Y/N.”

I took a big breath and got out, leaning against the building, the pressure of it building up again. I needed her. It felt a little better when Y/N was around, the urge not so much in the front of my mind. It was still there though, all the killing as a demon not helping to stop it.

“Ready whenever you are,” said Y/N, skipping out the front and locking up. She smiled and tossed her purse on the front bench of Baby before pursing her lips. She leaned in and opened the glove compartment, laughing as she shoved it in and grabbed something. “Dean, we should probably put this one away with all your hunting stuff too.”

“Yeah,” I said, taking the First Blade out of her hands. “I’ll put it in the basement with the other stuff when we get home.”

“Okay dokey,” she said, reaching her hand out to take hold of mine. I tucked the blade in my jeans and she snorted. “Are you really going to take that thing with us? Little Gorge is the safest place in the world now.”

“Well this way I won’t forget again,” I said with a smile, Y/N shrugging and starting the few block walk together, humming to herself. I’d nearly lost her the once as a demon and that I could explain away. The Mark though, that was a part of me I couldn’t get rid of, the part of me that liked feeling the blade close by, the part that liked some of the things the demon version did...liked a lot of them actually.

“Hey, I was thinking we could finally take that romantic trip we talked about,” said Y/N, looking up with bright eyes.

“Sounds great, sweetheart,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief, knowing it wouldn’t be hard to find someone in whatever town we ended up in to take care of that urge. Better there than here.

“You okay? You look kind of intense,” she said with a pout.

“I’m just nervous about the training,” I said, Y/N nodding.

“You’ll do fine, De, and then you’ll be Little Gorge’s deputy officer,” she said. “Cute uniform, second guy in charge around here...you’ll be a hot cop.”

“Yup,” I said, hoping it took her a good long while to figure out why being a cop would be a good thing, if she ever figured it out that was. Colt would have to be dealt with eventually but I’d find other ways to deal with that need until then. “So, where do you want to go on our trip, sweetheart? I know you said a cabin but what about a city? That’d be fun for a small town girl to see I think.”

“Maybe New York? I’ve always wanted to go, see all the sights and the shopping and the people,” she said, perking up. “Just like a weekend so we don’t blow all our money.”

“The city sounds perfect, sweetheart. Hopefully we can make this a regular thing.”

@anokhi07 @xxwinchester-22xx @charliebradbury1104 @everyday-supernatural-af @squirels-angels-and-moose @youwerelikeadream @drugpug @darkx143 @kristaparadowski @tom-is-in-my-tardis @tanithlowisabamf @smoothdogsgirl @dancingalone21 @ktrivia @demonic-meatball @feelmyroarrrr @cojootromuelle @gallifreyansass @fangirl1802 @casgetoutofmydiddlydarnass @mogaruke @ria132love @heycassbutt-67 @aingealcethlenn @docharleythegeekqueen @missmotherhen @smacklesandstretch67 @ceeceewinchester

@tumblinwith-me @xfanqirlinq @heaven-is-aplaceonearthwithyou @hey-um-misha @bennyh @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @lovelife-tothefullest @under-general-asthetics @tardis-full-of-fallen-angels @missdestiel67 @evyiione @jensenackesl @xxxdevine-demonsxxx @ayeeitsemry @mac5323 @atc74 @captainemwinchester @nanie5 @idalinette @quiddy-writes @pureawesomeness001 @poukothenerd @af112992 @mickey-m399 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @mrswhozeewhatsis @upon-a-girl @amazinntay @akshi8278 @baconlover001 @flufy07 @jayankles @alilianamendez @batmanprincesskitten @uniquewerewolfsuit @whit85-blog @spn-ficfanatic

@zeusmyster @maddieburcham1 @moonstar86 @kathaswings @my-blogging-skills-are-rusty @arryn-nyxx @kickasscas67 @mrsbatesmotel53 @sup3r-pott3r-lock3d @i-ship-crazy-crap @untitled39887 @extreme-supernatural-lover @emilymorgan1994 @boxywrites @fallen-castiel @its-not-a-tulpa @pillow223 @jaelami @roxyspearing @fandom--shipper @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @shamelesslydean @lupine-princess @sasquatch5

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #supernatural #spn #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #demon dean #demon!dean #one shot #dean x reader #dean

290 notes · View notes

kbaldwin0609 · 6 years

Text

'The Bachelor' episode 3 recap: GLOW with the flow

Photo: Splash

Warning: This recap for episode 3 of The Bachelor contains spoilers.

Happy week 3, rose lovers! We’ve reached the point in Arie’s “journey” where a previously invisible contestant suddenly gets thrust into the spotlight. Case in point:

Photo: ABC

Literally who is that, and what is she doing on a one-on-one with Arie?

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The episode begins with Harrison dropping off the date card, which Jane Doe (pictured above) promptly snatches. Maquel, Jacqueline, Lauren B., Tia, Marikh, Bekah M. Bibiana, and Krystal, you’re going on a group date — and clearly someone on The Bachelor’s Date Planning Committee binge-watched GLOW over the hiatus:

Photo: ABC

That’s right, “ladies” — you’re all about to audition for G.L.O.B., the “Gorgeous Ladies of the Bachelor” Wrestling League! (Side note: Please, Television Academy of Arts and Sciences, establish an “Outstanding Use of an Acronym in a Television Reality Show” category before next year’s Emmys.)

Angela and Ursula take the women through their paces, teaching them how to do forward rolls, how to bounce off the ropes, and how to “sell” the pain of getting (fake) kneed in the solar plexus by an opponent. Unfortunately, when it comes to the “selling” part, all of the women suck — and Angelina doesn’t hesitate to let them know it.

Photo: ABC

For the love of all that’s holy, Bibiana, why are you talking back to the former professional wrestler? Sure, she’s staying in character and just took a pot-shot at your mother, but you voluntarily signed up for a reality show that pits women against each other as they fight for a husband. If you have no righteous indignation about that, then you should probably just zip it.

Raven 2 is next to spark Angelina’s wrath when she refuses to expend any effort during a “lock-up” demonstration.

GIF: ABC

Bish, please. Weren’t you listening when Arie told Team Bachelor that he’s “looking for somebody who can kinda have fun in any situation”? You and Bibiana can take your sour pusses and your eye rolls and go cry in the corner. Meanwhile, Maquel and Baby Bekah are totally rolling with the punches, as it were.

GIF: ABC

Next, it’s time for the “ladies” to get their assigned pro-wrestler persona, and man, are they are on brand.

Krystal:

Photo: ABC

Bekah:

Photo: ABC

Marikh:

Photo: ABC

Raven 2:

Photo: ABC

Bibiana:

Photo: ABC

And how could Team Bachelor throw a wrestling date without inviting back the fan favorite who apparently does this for a living, Mr. Kenny “The Pretty Boy Pitbull” King?

Photo: ABC

Hey, at least it’s not Rated-R. Basically, Arie’s “match” with Kenny consists of the Bachelor flopping around limply while the Pretty Boy Pitbull pounds him repeatedly into the mat. Naturally, though, Kenny is enough of a gentleman to let Arie win — after all, his harem is watching.

Bekah and Maquel (“The Lunch Lady”) are summoned to the ring first. Just as they did during rehearsal, both women do their best to put on a convincing show, and it isn’t half bad. The Cougar faces off against Jacqueline next, and The Prom Queen definitely gets her bell rung.

GIF: ABC

Not really sure what was supposed to be going on during Marikh and Lauren B.’s routine, but if they were going for a “sleepwalking porn stars” vibe, they definitely succeeded.

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After moping and whining their way through rehearsal, Bibiana and Raven 2 actually demonstrate some enthusiasm during their bout, which features headlocks, arm twists, and some almost decent trash talking. It may have been a merely moderate effort, but the Bachelor LOVES it.

Photo: ABC

Quiz time! If I were to ask you, based on two weeks’ of evidence, who would try to steal Arie away first at the post-date cocktail party, which woman would you pick? Exactly: Krystal. So why are all the rest of the “ladies” shocked — shocked! — when she does it again tonight?

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Close your mouth, honey, or your jaw might freeze that way.

The Bachelor certainly isn’t discouraging Krystal’s behavior. “You were damn sexy today,” he gushes. “You were driving me crazy… I had to check myself a little bit.” He goes even further, advising Krystal to “just come grab me and say, ‘Give me some attention’” if she’s feeling neglected. Not that Krystal needs to be reminded.

It’s right about now that Bibiana falls into the same trap that so many women before her have stumbled into as well: Thinking the Bachelor wants to hear anything negative about a woman he’s clearly into, in this case Krystal. “I feel like at this point I need to voice my concerns with Arie,” Bibiana declares. So she does.

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Arie does his best to make Bibi feel heard, and then he heads off to make out with Raven 2 and Baby Bekah (separately) in the Airstream trailers. Krystal is “a little confused” when Arie hands over the date rose to Bekah, so she decides the best solution is to “be more aggressive.” (Not pictured: The producer nodding furiously in agreement from behind the camera.)

The next morning, Krystal sits on the couch and performs a monologue by the pool — about how women have always “hated on” her, how she’s had to “struggle” and be “so strong” and “work so many hours” doing plyometric squats on the beach, or whatever. She also confides to her audience of one — an impressively poker-faced Marikh — that she and Arie “know we want to end up together, and this is just a process that has to be done in order for us to be together.”

Ladies and gentlemen, it has not even been three weeks.

Onward, “process”! The only one-on-one date of the week goes to… one of the blonde Laurens.

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Seriously, who? Not that it matters, I guess. Arie meets the Lauren at his favorite private airport, where their jet awaits to whisk them off to wine country. I will say, whoever this woman is, she looks closer to 21 than 31 — and the Bachelor does seem pleased that she’s “mature.”

Over merlot, Arie and Lauren chat about early bedtimes and his growing love of cardigans. But can this Lauren go deeper? Arie admits he doesn’t know much/anything about her, and Lauren admits that she might have some “guards up.” I think it’s too much to hope that we’ll see a woman sent home from a date this early in the season… or is it?

You see, Lauren can’t stop talking. Like, at all. Maybe she’s so worried about holding back that she’s forcing herself to go to the opposite extreme — but even she admits that during dinner she’s “all over the place.”

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And then something terrible happens.

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Yep. Arie’s so bored, he’s actually eating on the date. After word-vomiting for almost the entire meal, Lauren tries to rein it in and salvage the night. “I feel like I have not been myself this whole dinner,” she tells the Bachelor. “I like me, and I’m cool with me, but I feel like I’ve been a little all over the place.”

So does Arie. He holds up the date rose, and with a carefully assembled “sad face,” he gives Lauren the boot: “I really, really wanted this for us, but I’m sorry, I can’t give you this.” And with that, rose lovers, we are down to exactly one Lauren. Suitcase Ninja, do your thing.

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The “ladies” are rocked to their core by this unexpected turn of events. Caroline bursts into tears; Bekah and Becca huddle together for emotional warmth; and Krystal — who, let’s face it, is pretty psyched — delivers a eulogy for her fallen sister, who she says is “an amazing, beautiful soul.” She concludes by telling the other women to live each cocktail party as though it’s their last, because time on this earth with Arie is simply not guaranteed.

When Ashley, Becca K, Brittany, Jenna, Caroline, Chelsea, and Annaliese arrive at the park for group date number 2, Arie assures them that their outing will be not involve violent smashing of any kind, or a significant budget. Instead: Dogs! And not just any dogs, Dynamo Dogs!

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For today’s date, Arie and the women will be putting on a live show with these adorable trained pups. Pretty fun, right? Well, unless you’re Annaliese — her collection of traumatic experiences also includes a run-in with her grandparents’ cranky dog Sunshine, who bit her when she was a kid. “I almost lost an eye,” she says gravely. Naturally, we’re treated to another gauzy reenactment.

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Speaking of comedy, Chris Harrison’s co-commentator for the dog show is none other than Best in Show star Fred Willard. And there sure is a lot of color to commentate — as none of the dogs seem interested in listening to their temporary trainers, and the kids in the audience are either crying our outright heckling the performers.

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Unlike on the wrestling date, no one pouts or cries when the dogs make them look silly, and Arie deems the outing a success. Things continue to go smoothly at the post-date cocktail party, as Arie has comfortable chats and kisses with everyone… except Annaliese. By the time she sits down with the Bachelor, she’s so wound up and tense that she can’t think of anything to say. “I feel like I’m going home,” she whines to the other women later. “His body language was so different.” Hmmm… let’s go to the videotape:

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Yeah, it’s not looking great for Annaliese.

The date rose, by the way, goes to Chelsea.

When the final cocktail party of the week rolls around, pretty much every woman but the ones holding roses (Chelsea, Baby Bekah) is worried that she’ll go home. Side note: I like that Arie is starting to preempt any “she stole him right away” drama at these parties by choosing the first woman himself. (Watch and learn, future Bachelors.)

Bibiana can’t wait to get her alone time with Arie, because she’s arranged for the interns to set up a “private” (except for the cameras) cabana in the front driveway, where she and the Bachelor can relax and gaze at the stars.

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Unfortunately for Bibiana, Arie and Lauren B. just happened to stumble upon this romantic star-gazing setup first. Even more humiliating is the fact that the Bachelor sends Bibi away when she comes to interrupt.

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“Uhhh… the struggle is real,” sighs Bibiana in her confessional. “The devil is working OT, man.” Hey! Mike Fleiss may be an evil genius but I think calling him “the devil” is taking things a bit too far.

Having discovered the driveway daybed — aka the perfect make-out spot — Arie starts bringing other women there, including Crystal and Baby Bekah. Speaking of Miss Junior Varsity, she’s trying a little too hard to come across as the carefree, independent woman: “I think you know that I don’t need you,” she purrs to Arie. “You’ve been attracted consistently to people who need you more than you need them, and it’s scary to be with somebody who doesn’t need you to complete them.” It’s almost believable — but those of us who’ve experienced the hell that is being a woman in her early 20s can see that Bekah’s really a swirling mass of insecurities masked by a perky bod and a pixie cut. Still, Arie is just eating it up. “Gosh, you’re blowing my mind right now!” he marvels, before commencing yet another make-out session.

Our Bachelor also lavishes attention on Raven 2, who doesn’t seem to mind that the “special” set-up he had made for her is just a pair of redneck stereotypes: Hay bales and moonshine. But perhaps the most awkward moment of the night is Annaliese’s sad attempt to get a kiss from Arie. Maybe it’s because she always looks like she’s about to burst into tears, or maybe it’s simply because he’s just not that into her, but the encounter is not a success.

“I’ve really wanted you to kiss me,” Annaliese begins. “And I hear that girls have to go in for the kiss first — and I’m not really that type of girl.”

“So… are you asking me?” replies the Bachelor, clearly annoyed. And then he drops the bomb.

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Man, could there be anything more disheartening than getting rejected by the kissing bandit? The man will lock lips with almost anything that moves! Anyhow, dear Annaliese, you should probably prepare to take a moment and say your goodbyes.

What’s that? You’re going to hunt Arie down and ask him point-blank if he’s into you instead? Sounds like a totally solid plan. “I literally can’t watch this,” groans Bekah, speaking for all of us. So, Annaliese asks — and Arie answers.

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“I’m sorry,” he says. “Can I walk you out?”

Who will join Annaliese in the Reject Limo? Let’s find out! Arie doles out roses to Caroline, Kendall, Ashley, the Last Remaining Lauren, Brittany, Becca K., Sienne, Krystal, Raven 2, Maquel, Jenna, Jacqueline, and Marikh — meaning we must also say goodbye to our favorite Miami firebrand, Bibiana.

“Someone needs to just give me a break,” sobs Bibi. Someone will, mami — as soon as it’s time to start casting for Bachelor in Paradise.

Welp, rose lovers, what say you? Did Arie send the right women home? Is Krystal right in assuming she’s his favorite? And what, exactly, is wrong with Jenna?

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Post your thoughts now! And be sure to check out Chris Harrison’s exclusive behind-the-scenes blog right here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pitch American Horror Story: Annaliese’s Childhood to Ryan Murphy and FX.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.