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#Auston Matthews fan fiction
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he set my house on fire, you lit my heart ablaze; when the smoke cleared, you stayed, coughing up ash with me.
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jh86 x reader: the revenge plot doesn't go as planned (ft. ex-fiance am34).
(warnings: blasphemous filth (it's on the tamer side, i think), unprotected penetrative sex (m on f), spit and descriptions of bodies and stuff like that, hair pulling (big fan), lots of talk about toxic relationships and being mean and using people and sad moments (we can thank this fictional am34 for that), oh, and slight bullying of tz11). idk just please be warned, don’t read if you’re not 100% sure.)
(a/n: hello, favorites. thank you so, so much for your patience and softness. today i bring you a story that took me so, so long because i worked so, so hard on it (and it's really long! 14k worth). we have checked all the boxes: terrible ex-fiance am34, sweet boy jh86, schemes and plots and the like. no, i don't think any of these characters are like this in real life. no, nobody acts like this, but it's getting colder, so i think a lot of us are craving that gentle domesticity. and yes, i wish someone had shown up with flowers after i finished undergrad midterms. there's probably a ton of plot holes but shh! don't tell anyone. also tried out a new format, the smut is in the middle instead of the end, let me know how you feel about that. anyways, i miss you and i love you and i think of you often and fondly. i hope you and your snakes are doing well and knowing what you deserve and accepting nothing less. let me know what you think, what you want next, etc. go canucks, of course. oh, and no, i do not think it's a coincidence that all the guys i write about are having a great season so far (except the ducks that refuse to play). how could it be? definitely a causal connection. all my love to you. until next time).
since you were a young girl, you had known that your greatest motivation, your deepest truth, perhaps your fatal flaw, was just how deeply you felt.
when you were little, that meant tears came easily, anger festered like weeds in a prized garden, and happiness felt like flying.
it also meant you could read others' emotions almost as clearly as your own.
it made you different, it made you a good friend, it made you the person you were. for much of your life, you had made peace with the fact that your well of emotions went deeper than others. you had loved that part of yourself, even.
but the night you broke off your engagement to auston matthews, you wanted nothing more than for everything you were feeling to disappear, to evaporate into the air as if it had never been.
"you couldn't've at least tried to hide it from me?" you had said, willing your fragile voice not to break.
and he had sat at the kitchen counter, that massive body on the stool that you had carefully selected for the house that you shared, that you thought you would share forever. and he had sighed, sounded almost annoyed. "would that have made it better, angel?"
his indifference coated your bones like lead paint. that name, once one you felt would call you out of a coma, would lead you out of hell like a northern star, now felt like nothing but a condescending, patronizing taunt. silly, stupid angel, the god might as well have said, how could you think you could ever be enough?
understanding settled like ash on your eyelashes. "you think i'll forgive you," you said, little more than a whisper. "you think i won't leave."
he scoffed at that, then. at you. "and go where?" he asked, sounding almost genuine. "where do you have to go?"
how superficially he knew you, it seemed, at that moment. how had you not seen this before?
"you honestly think i could ever look at you the same?" you asked.
he shrugged, his shoulders so imposing, stature so suddenly frightening. a body you knew better than your own, suddenly foreign. a ghost. "maybe differently, but still looking," he said, "your eyes have only ever followed me, angel."
and maybe he was right, but you were done proving him so.
"send my things to my parents' place," you said, cold, devoid of anything. emotion welled up in you like a flood, but you froze it before it could crest through your mouth, come out like some mythical fire-breathing dragon. you slipped off your ring, placed it on the counter.
you didn't feel lighter without it, though. you felt so devastatingly heavy, like cinder blocks were tied to your ankles, like liquid stone filled your head.
"are you kidding?" he asked. to your silence, careful pause, he tilted his head, shook it once. "you're just gonna quit?"
your hands were shaking. you could feel rage rattle through your body, shake your bones. you clenched your fist so tightly you wondered if blood would drip from your palms, stain the light hardwood floor that you had spent so long deciding on. "how dare you," you said, begging your quivering lip to still.
his smirk was cruel. "not like it matters," he mused. "you've never been able to quit me."
you had seen him mean. on the ice, sometimes to journalists, sometimes to fans, sometimes to you, even. but this was past mean. this was past elementary bullying, past joking insults that don't land. he was trying to call your bluff, trying to push you into forgiveness, trying to hurt you.
"watch me," you said, your voice made of ancient rock.
"are you mad because she's hotter than you?" he asked, his brow contorted in false concern. "is that it?"
despite yourself, a small smile pulled at your mouth. a smile that made your eyes glitter. a smile that should have scared him. a warning.
"she is beautiful," you conceded, because she was. what good would it do you to deny that? you approached him, then, in his personal space for what you believed would be the last time. he turned to you, your eyes meeting in a clash, like sword on sword. cruel, brutal arrogance and pure, pretty wrath. you held the side of his face in one palm, the other hand resting on his shoulder. "but when a beautiful person hits on me, auston, i say no."
his eyes flickered down to your mouth, simmering with lust. you laughed at this, at him, raw and true, let pity soak your tone like acid. "i'm not mad at her, auston," you admitted truthfully. "i'm not even mad at you." you patted his cheek, perhaps a little harder than you needed to. "i'm just so disappointed."
that had been weeks ago. you had moved back to the states, so embarrassed on the plane at how you couldn't stop the tears from flowing, until finally you were back with your parents in new jersey. they had welcomed you so warmly, so easily. it had taken a few weeks for the tears to finally slow, for the utter devastation to fade, for your red eyes to brighten again.
at first, it had been hard to remember anything but how his embrace felt like home, how tightly he hugged you after games, how his eyes shone when he laughed, how he had teared up when you had accepted his proposal, how he had gushed about picking the right ring.
but as the sadness faded, as it festered into something much more serious, you remembered less of the fairytale moments, less of his perfect smile, less of the "pretty girl" utterances in his rough bedroom rasp. soon the sadness gave way to steely rage, to an almost bloodthirsty need for revenge. for him to hurt the way he had hurt you.
and no one does bloodthirsty like a group of university-age girls. after catching up with your childhood friends, and getting them caught up on your situation, you looked at your confidants with eager eyes. "what do i do?"
your best friend from high school spoke first, banging her fist on the table. "burn his house down?" she offered. "steal his dog?"
her friend from college put a gentle hand over her fist, "i think for now we try to avoid the federal crimes," she said, then turned to you. "when my ex cheated on me, i got with the lead singer of his favorite band." her eyes shimmered. "and then bought his dream car and wrapped it pink."
you giggled in delight. "oh, you're good."
your childhood friend nodded. "phycological warfare." she looked at you. "who's his idol?"
you thought for a moment, tapped your fingers on the table. "i don't know if idol is what i should be going for," you thought out loud.
"who's someone who would make him uncomfortable? insecure?"
"his dad!" your friend said, making you shake in a laugh.
"his biggest insecurity is the spotlight leaving and not coming back," you told them. you had known that for a long time.
"being forgotten?" your friend asked.
"being replaced," you said, your eyes widening with understanding. "with someone better. more promising." you shared a look with your friends, felt anger solidify into a plan. into hope.
"you look like you have someone in mind."
a memory flashed across your mind like a shooting star, engulfed in flame.
"how was the game, aus?" you had asked when he got home, stirring the pot of soup on the stove.
you heard some kind of grumble as he dropped his things in the mudroom, made his way into the kitchen.
"what's wrong?" you asked when you met his eyes, sensing something wrong like smoke in the air.
"just this young kid," he muttered. "'s nothing, really."
and you knew then that it wasn't just nothing, because he never tried to hide things from you, to diminish his feelings, unless it was really bothering him.
you turned the stove off, approached him, wrapped your arms around his middle and hugged him tight. "who's this new kid?" you asked, muffled by his chest.
his arms pulled your closer, tighter. this had always been where you felt warmest, safest. "some h name," he muttered. "hicks? hughes, maybe?"
you smiled into his chest, knowing him, and knowing he would never have forgotten the name of this kid. knowing auston matthews never forgets people who make him feel like anything other than the world's brightest star.
"whoever he is, probably just had the game of his life," you had said, your voice a comforting lullaby. you had pressed yourself up on your tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "nothing to worry about, yeah?"
he had smiled back at you, but something dark had swirled behind his gaze. something like knowing, like ominous understanding, like an empire, falling. "already forgotten, angel," he had said, but you knew, even then, that he was lying.
the memory fizzed and dissolved like baking soda in vinegar.
you looked at your friends and smiled. "what do you guys know about jack hughes?"
from there it was surprisingly easy to shift from a tangent line outside jack hughes's circle to someone inside of it. you were patient, too, careful not to rush. you wouldn't settle for anything less than perfect, after all, refused to enact any plan that wouldn't end in exactly the revenge you sought.
one of the other wags from toronto, whom you had grown close to, insisted on helping, giving you the numbers of some friends close to the devils.
"i'm honestly so, so proud of you for leaving," she had told you over the phone, her voice nothing but genuine, knowing. "all of us, we all knew you were way too good for him."
"did you?" you asked, maybe a little shocked. having been so completely deceived, so absolutely blind, for so long, it was interesting that others had not been as deluded as you. to hear their perspective, to see what you had not been able to before.
"sweetheart," she said, gently, "everyone who meets you can see that you're good. that you deserve someone good." there was a pause. "and everyone also sees that he was never that."
you let her words settle like glitter on a childhood craft. "thank you," you said. "i miss you."
"we miss you so much. see you soon?"
you agreed, thanked her for her help.
"i hope he's good," were her closing words. "maybe better, at least."
having started classes with your old friends, intent on finishing the degree you had so quickly and thoughtless abandoned for auston, you had ample time to plot.
"feels like we're in a spy movie, or something," your friend had said excitedly.
"we'll be your guys in the chair," the other chimed in. "here the whole way."
the rest of the initial plan came easily, with the help of the people who were on your side, which you quickly learned was a group made up of more people than you thought.
very soon, it was time for step one, and you were in front of your mirror, having just finished getting ready, your friends by your side.
you took a deep breath. "what if this isn't a good idea?" you whispered.
they squeezed at your hands. "no going back now, okay? we'll be there the whole time."
"what if he's not interested?"
"look at yourself," one of them said, "don't be stupid."
"what is he thinks i'm a crazy stalker?"
your oldest friend shrugged, her eyes full of mischief. "what if you are?"
so you found yourself at a dingy, run down bar, the lights low. according to your contacts, this was where the team and their friends came after home games.
when was the last time you had come to a bar looking for something? for someone? it felt distantly familiar, but so strange, like hearing a language you spoke as a child but that hadn't graced your tongue in decades.
you had been with auston for years, after all, having met him when you were 19, him 23. a whirlwind, a tornado, a perfect tempest of pink dust and white teeth. a proposal two years later, a break off a year further.
you were 22 now, and had never felt further from your nineteen-year-old self. a foolish child, a delicate doll, a phantom cloaked in a desperate desire for acceptance, for love.
you didn't know how to flirt in this new body, new being. you didn't even really know to how flirt with anyone but auston - it had been so long since you wanted anyone else. and you didn't even really want jack, at this point. you just wanted justice.
a cluster of motion and noise behind you ripped you from your thoughts. you didn't turn, though, just stirred your drink, let the liquid settle again until you could see yourself in the reflection. until you could make out your eyes, until you could plead with your mouth to tell you what to say.
a game, the beautiful girl mouthed to you, a secret code, it's only a game.
your hazy eyes caught on a pool table in the corner of the bar, vacant, the lamp above it flickering. you smiled to yourself, made your way over, picked out a cue, ran your fingers along the edge of it.
you took a sip of your drink before setting it down, lining yourself up to break. with a swift, even motion, a pleasant cracking noise rung out, colorful balls moving in different directions.
you scrunched up your nose, having sunk none initially, gracefully lining up to go again when you felt a few figures approach.
the first one who spoke, the one right next to you, was not someone you recognized. you didn't even think he was on the team, but he had the build of a hockey player, probably a quick center.
"need a private lesson, there, sugar?" he asked sleazily, his voice the arrogant drawl of a child, almost endearing in its steadiness. he leaned on the table as you looked up at him, straightened, tilted your head to rest against the cue.
"awful kind of you, coach of the year," you teased before nodding to the other person who had joined you, looming across the table like a shadow. "gonna help me beat your friend?"
your new coach scoffed, ran a hand through his long, unruly hair. "trust me, sugar," he said, "you don't need any help beating him."
you locked eyes with the figure across the table, whom you had only seen before on a screen, the one you had heard about in the arms of your ex-fiance. here he was, the soft contours of his face shimmering in the dim light. the mythical and heroic jack hughes, the shaker of the unshakeable auston matthews.
he was shorter than you expected. "not much of a competitor, is he?" you asked the man next to you, talking about jack as if he wasn't right there. as if you hadn't been looking at him the entire time. "doesn't like to play?"
you tilted your head, dared him with your eyes to prove you wrong. the familiar fire of flirtation, of the chase you hadn't engaged with in years flared when he took a step out of the shadows, letting you see him clearly and up close.
during your research, you had seen pictures of him, but they didn't do him even a semblance of justice. he was gorgeous in a fairytale prince sort of way, like he might save the day with a true love's kiss at any moment. his eyes were a striking blue, his nose almost dainty, his jaw angular. your gaze caught on his full mouth before finally landing on his eyes again. he had the kind of complexion and expression you could tell lit up when he smiled. your stomach twisted at the thought. a game, you repeated in your mind. only a game.
"i'll play," he said simply, his voice goofy in a way you weren't used to. not sleazy, like his friend, who was currently behind you while you bent forward, lining up the cue. it wasn't the classic baritone you were used to hearing in auston, but something more cautious, something sweeter.
the game progressed, each of you sinking shots with the tell-tale soft thud. it was his long-haired friend, the one who kept calling you sugar like you were some southern belle, who was much closer to you, who was adjusting your hips and arm placement before each turn, who was flirting with you so openly, his breath hot on your neck, his gaze open and obvious.
even then, a quick exchange of glances with jack felt much more intimate than any innuendo-filled comment and fumbling touch from his friend. whenever jack would sink a ball, his eyes would flutter up to meet yours in a fleeting catch of flame, of promise, of knowing.
with only a few balls still on the green felt of the table, his careful voice broke you from your trance. "what are we playing for?" he asked, eyes alight.
the look you shared was teasing, probing, yet deadly serious. this is everything, the look said. are you ready to give everything?
"how about this?" you began, your tone light and smoky. "if you win, you get my number." his full mouth quirked upwards in the slightest of smirks. "and if i win, i give it to him," you finished, nodding towards his sugar-spewing friend.
jack looked at his friend. "good with you, z?" he asked.
his friend, z, you guessed, let a cocky smirk drape across his face like velvet curtains. "more than good," he said, "as we're gonna win."
with the stakes agreed upon, the game continued until only the eight ball remained. you lined yourself up, your ever-so-involved coach just next to you as you called your pocket.
"have a game, sugar, here we go."
you ignored his friend's voice, lining your cue up perfectly, the smooth wood resting delicately between your fingers, the angle of your arm and neck smooth and sensual. everything about your preparation lent itself to a winning strike, everyone at the table knew it. you could feel it in z's early celebration, see it in the slight quiver of jack's hand.
bent over the table, in the final seconds before your strike, you peered up at jack through dark lashes, all dim light and foggy promise. you gave him a sly smirk as you followed through, the black and white ball missing the pocket by an inch, hitting the side of the table with a soft sound.
jack narrowed his eyes at you with a curious sort of look before quickly calling his pocket and immediately sinking the ball.
his friend sucked on his teeth before throwing up his hands in defeat. "christ, sugar, didn't take you for a choke artist," he said. "unless you're into that." he shot you a wink before heading off to grab a drink.
for the first time, it was just you and jack. you leaned on your cue, let your gaze fall over him lazily, in the same way you knew he was doing to you. he was close now, close enough that you could see how blue his eyes were, how long his lashes, how high and soft his features, how his hair was just a little too long on the sides.
"you let me win," he said, a gentle observation, not anything accusatory.
you smiled. "prove it," you said, to which a matching smile graced his own face.
"must be my lucky night, then," he said as he handed you his phone and you typed your number in.
you laughed. "i don't know," you mused, "you seem like a guy who's used to getting what he wants." and he did seem like that - who could say no to those pretty eyes?
he ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek, a motion you tracked. "'m a guy used to earning what he wants," he corrected, and you hummed. a distinction that auston had never made, even though he worked hard, sure. but he was a natural. what would it be like to be with someone to whom everything didn't come just so, so, easily?
"like to work for it, hm?" you teased.
his gaze dropped to your mouth for a second before returning to your eyes.
you stepped forward, pushed and poked at the imaginary line between the two of you. you looked up at him, gently swiped at his cheekbone with your thumb, felt heat rumble between the two of you, something volcanic. "don't work yourself too hard, yeah?"
without a second glance, you placed your cue against the table, grabbed your bag and made for the door.
on your way out, you overhead the conversation that had erupted in your exit.
"i was the one talking to her the whole time," that long-island-ish drawl said.
"if you think she was into you for even a second, you're an idiot," jack replied.
you swore the door was chuckling as it shut behind you.
everything had gone exactly as you'd hoped, exactly as you'd known it would, so you weren't at all surprised to receive a text the next day asking if you were around that night to get a drink.
so you found yourself at a different bar, this one a bit more upscale, quickly spotting jack as he waited for you outside. you blew out a breath as you approached, as a smile made his face glow. it was still so new to find someone else beautiful. when would you get used to his imperfect teeth, his oceanic eyes, his feminine nose, this greek sculpture opposed to autson's roman one?
you blinked. "hi," you said, suddenly feeling lame.
his mouth quirked. "hey." he opened the door for you, nodded. "after you."
"i'm gonna warn you," you started as you ducked past him and into the building. "i haven't been on a date in a while."
he shoved his hands in his pockets, a juvenile habit that made you blush. "find that hard to believe," he said, his tone playful. "pretty girl like yourself."
you scrunched up your nose at that. pretty girl. auston had called you that so many times, but for the first time you actually thought about its meaning. something flipped in your stomach at jack calling you pretty, but it was the girl part that had you pausing for a moment.
you were a girl, pretty much, you were jack's age, but you hadn't felt like one in so long. maybe it was being with someone a little older, but you felt almost ancient, so tired, so drained. but here you were, on a date, every bit the pretty girl he had deemed you.
you just laughed, taking a seat at the counter, smoothing out your dress against your legs. "real sweet talker, are you?" you joked, turning to him and meeting his eyes.
his mouth quirked like he knew something you didn't. "somethin' like that," he said.
the night went by fast, conversation flowing easily, no sign of pressure or anything of the like. you asked about his career, what he did that day, his family, his friends. he made you laugh, and it came so easily, so fluidly. he asked you about what you liked to do, what you were studying in school, how you were enjoying jersey.
surprisingly, you found yourself wanting to be completely honest with him, even though you couldn't be. you found yourself wanting to tell him everything, to answer any question he asked, to never leave him wishing or wanting even for a second.
you got hung up on the curve of his upper lip, on the slope of his shoulders under his button down, on his girlish laugh, his firefly of a smile.
the night was over too soon. too soon, you had the sinking feeling that you were in over your head, that perhaps you had chosen the wrong person for your revenge plot. you wanted to hurt auston, after all, but not yourself. certainly not this shimmery spark of a boy in front of you.
he walked you out, both of you pausing outside the bar, under the dull streetlight, a theatre spotlight for your praiseworthy performance.
you turned to look at him, and him at you, sinking into each others' gazes like quicksand, the air thick with expectation.
"i don't kiss on the first date," you blurted out, talking to his lips, talking to yourself.
he smiled, his shoulders rumbling in a laugh. "'s okay," he breathed, "like to work for it, remember, baby?"
you shook your head as your cheeks erupted in a delighted rosy flush. "goodnight, jack," you said, your voice every bit the giveaway. he returned the sentiment with a knowing grin.
the next day, you invited your girls over to watch him play. as you all settled on the couch, a homemade cocktail in your hand, you couldn't help but hide your face when the camera lingered on his profile during the anthem.
one of your friends gave a mock-salute. "god bless america," she said, shaking her head as you threw a pillow at her.
"alright," you chastised.
"what?" she asked, raising a brow, "just appreciating the wonderful offerings of our country."
your other friend shook her head. "you don't usually go for guys like him, eh?" she asked. "i mean, ever since we were in middle school you always went for the guys with biceps bigger than my face." she held her hands in front of her face for visualization.
"'s not like he's tiny," you said, almost embarrassed.
"no, no," she amended, "but he's no auston. he's just, i don't know, pretty."
you smiled, knowing exactly what she meant. auston was so masculine in every way, and jack was softer, somehow, pretty in a way you didn't usually go for.
pretty in a way that made you smile at your phone when he texted you the next day, asking if he could cook you dinner later that week.
you were blushing to yourself, the morning of, after he had texted you asking if you had any dietary restrictions.
and you didn't, but wasn't it just the sweetest, most thoughtful thing to ask? would you have even thought to ask?
i want you to be comfortable, his text said, i want you to laugh with your mouth full in my kitchen.
careful, angel, a deep voice called from the back of your mind, from the inside of your teeth. this is about me, remember?
your fingers twitched with the reminder as you stood on his front stoop, waiting for jack to answer the bell. the air had a brisk twinge of a chill to it, a chill that had your nose turning pink and your feet stiffening in your boots.
but he answered the door, and the breath you blew out rose between the two of you like a misty curtain, one you resented, because it distorted your view of him, even just so.
the mist settled, and his smile was left in its wake.
a smile that silenced all the gossiping voices in your head, left the throne of their malevolent king vacant, abandoned.
"you're here," he breathed, almost like he couldn't believe it, like he couldn't believe you.
"and it's your fault," you teased, scrunching up your nose.
he shook his head, laughed at some joke in his mind, stepped aside. "you must be freezing, baby, come in."
the butterflies in your chest soared as he helped you shoulder off your coat, his fingers leaving just a ghost of a touch on your wrist, the back of your neck, leaving scorched skin behind. you shivered, took in his graceful figure hanging your coat up on a hook by the door, let a smile come easily to your face when he turned back to you.
"what?" he said, grinning.
you let out a half-laugh. "nothing," you said, looking around as you kicked your shoes off. anything to avoid the white-hot light of his undivided attention. "i like your place."
and you did like it, truly, it was just so unexpected. homely, not cluttered, but definitely not the modern, futuristic, almost barren aesthetic you can come to associate with successful hockey players.
he flashed you a shy smile as he led you into the kitchen, bowing his head, making his hair fall into his face, almost bashful. "it likes you too," he told you, swinging his hand up to hit the top of the doorframe like a basketball-obsessed middle-schooler. you bit your lip to stop your grin.
what a pleasure it was to get to know all the most intricate and intimate manners of someone new.
"everything's almost done, now," he said, quickly turning off the stovetop and peering through the glass of the oven.
his tone was much more at ease then when you had talked to him before. he was at home here, and you could tell. he wore home like a hand-me-down sweater, too big in the shoulders and worn in the elbows, but lovely and familiar in all of its comfort.
you sat atop a stool at his counter, nervously rubbing the sole of one foot into the top of the other. "thanks for cooking, jack," you said, "you really didn't have to do anything fancy, or anything." suddenly, sitting here in this space, surrounded by the evidence of his effort, you felt guilt settle deeply into your body. unworthiness, perhaps, of the smell of food in the air, of the drink he had poured for you so gently, of the smile he kept throwing your way.
that voice in your head huffed. look at all this, he said, look at the burden you are.
and you were feeling it, so heavily, until jack took a sip of his own drink and waved you off, furrowing his brow as if confused. "'s how a date works, right, baby?" he said. he tilted his head, teasing, "tellin' me no one's ever pulled out all the stops for you?"
and you laughed, shook your head, because you supposed it was, supposed no one really had.
you got to know each other even better over the meal he had cooked, surprising you once again with how easy everything felt between you.
"tell me what you did today," he might say, his voice soft, muffled from chewing.
and you might tell him about your classes, how midterms were coming up, how you were nervous but felt pretty good about most of them.
maybe then you would ask about practice that morning, to which he would tell you some story about his teammates, how they were giving it to him all morning.
"why?" you might ask, to which he would look up at you with that bashful flush.
"'cause they knew you were coming over tonight," he admitted, pushing broccoli around his plate. "kept saying how i was probably gonna make you a box of kraft or something."
you laughed, a genuine rumble from deep in your chest, tilting your head back. when you looked back at him, he was looking at you with something like wonder.
and maybe later, you would ask what his favorite part of his house was, and he would say it was his wall of framed pictures, which would make you melt a little bit, your heart a puddle of feeling.
too soon, you were setting down your fork and knife, crossing and uncrossing your legs in restlessness.
"did you like it?" he would ask, his voice so full of hope it could have killed you.
so full of hope that you reached across the counter to hold his hand in yours, if only for a moment, to squeeze his fingers in meaningful emphasis.
your touch caught him by surprise, hesitant for a moment before locking eyes with you, simmering, then squeezing your hand back in his warm, callused grip.
a grip that said i'm no natural, but i'll work for it. for you.
"it was perfect," you said honestly, because it was. "but please, please let me do the dishes," you pleaded, looking at him through your lashes, just wanting to do something to help.
it would feel so wrong to be doted on for the whole night while giving nothing in return. at the very least, it would feel foreign.
he shook his head playfully, but relented. "you can help," he conceded, "but 'm not letting a pretty girl clean up my mess by herself."
you scoffed with a smile, squeezed his hand a final time before pushing yourself off of your stool, gathering all the plates and glasses in a single go.
"where'd you learn how to do that?" he asked, genuinely, as he followed you to the sink.
you carefully set everything down in a graceful swoop, let your lips quirk upwards in nostalgia. "once a waitress, always a waitress," you explained, referring to your short-lived stint at a busy restaurant in toronto before auston insisted on you staying home.
and at the time, even a little now, it was a sweet gesture, one you had taken as him wanting you to relax, wanting you to have the freedom to do whatever you wanted with your days.
you just secretly wished he had considered that what you wanted to do with your days was working, going to school, doing something for yourself.
jack leaned on the edge of the counter, his lopsided grin like an electric jolt to your heart. "what, did they show you the door 'cause you were making all the tips?" he teased, nevertheless making you blush as you washed the plates with soap. "not fair for everyone else, 's that it?"
you gasped in dramatic accusation, flicking sudsy water from your fingers his direction. "how dare you?" you exclaimed before turning away from him in a huff, feigning sadness. "'s not like i can control this face."
his mouth widened in shock, then took on a scheme-filled smile as soon as the water hit him, a short laugh escaping him. "you didn't," he said, dipping his hand in the soap and flinging some at you.
you squealed, holding your hands up to shield your face as he reached in for more, bubbles filling both of his palms. "wait, jack, i'm sorry!" you laughed. "i swear, i didn't mean to!"
"liar," he cooed, his gaze sparking like a lighter, you swore you could hear the clicking sound. then he was right in front of you, only a breath apart, so close you swore you could feel the beat on his heart in your own chest.
he reached down and gently held your face in his hands, the soap now all along your jaw and cheeks.
you closed your eyes for a second, sighed in defeat, still so aware of him so close, of his touch, feather-light on you skin.
when they opened again, you both had not moved, frozen in place, perhaps willed by the moment, compelled by the growing sensation of rightness, of being exactly where you were supposed to be. when he spoke, he was speaking to your lips, dragging his gaze back up to your eyes like it weighed something stark.
"do you kiss on the second date?" he breathed, and your breath caught, your heart stuttering at his utter politeness, his thoughtfulness, the idea that he remembered things you had told him.
you bit your tongue, because, if you were being honest, you usually didn't - you took the rule of threes very personally. you liked to take your time, savored that lovely period of what could be. besides, you had learned the hard way what happened when you let people in your life too quickly, too hastily. you knew all too well that giving in to a toothy smile and a sleeve of tattoos only led to shrugs met with tears.
but here, now, with jack's soapy hands on your face, in the space he had so warmly accepted you into, you had the feeling this boy in front of you was going to be an exception. that he would be an exception for many things, perhaps the exception.
as if hearing your internal dialogue loud and clear, he dipped his head down until he was impossibly close, so when he spoke you could feel the words on your lips.
"please let me kiss you, baby," he pleaded, his eyes hooded and heavy, his voice a rasp.
deciding he was an exception indeed, you answered him by pressing up on your toes, meeting his mouth with yours in a kiss that bruised.
and later, you would think about how auston had never been a please let me kiss you man, instead he had been a give me a kiss, angel kind of guy.
after, you would think about how it felt so much more personal, so much more sweet to be asked please, can i instead of being ordered give me, give me, give me, like a demanding, red-faced child.
later, you would think about how the previous kisses in your life paled in comparison to the feeling of jack's lips on yours. how before this moment, you were used to kisses that felt like transactions, like the necessary box being checked before the next step, how they felt like being swallowed.
after, you would swoon over all the details and nuances, but, right now, there was nothing but his lips, his hands, the way he melted into you and practically whimpered when you kissed him harder.
kissing him didn't feel like being swallowed, it felt like taking the biggest deep breath of your life after slowly suffocating for years. you forgot you had soap bubbles all over your face, you forgot about auston, you forgot about everything - there was only him, and you, in this moment.
he held your face like you were something precious, moving one hand into your hair as you wrapped your arms around his neck. he tasted like lemon and rosemary, as well as something so deliciously him you could feel yourself become addicted immediately.
his grip in your hair was soft, and when his lips moved against yours it felt like melting snow in the warmth of the morning, pure and sweet and natural and right. kissing him felt like waking up with sunlight streaming through the windows, like laughing while taking your makeup off, like cinnamon and clove and home.
when you pulled away from him, only just slightly, both of you catching your breath heavily, he opened his eyes slowly, almost reluctantly. his eyes were almost glazed over, and you had a feeling yours looked in a similar way, syrupy and hot.
he gently swiped his thumb along your swollen bottom lip as if testing to make sure you were real, not just some shadow, not just a dream.
you traced your nails along his neck, smiled as he brought his hands down to wrap around your middle, resting them on the small of your back.
"god, you're just so fucking pretty, aren't you?" he breathed, like a revelation.
you swore he had your head spinning for days after, days you unfortunately and cruelly had to spend apart due to a week-long road trip for the team.
you told yourself it was a good thing that he was going away for a bit, as it would give you a second to regroup, to revaluate, to familiarize yourself with what your initial goal was for your plan. you reminded yourself over the week apart that jack was a means to an end, that whatever had blossomed between the two you had a finish line, that all of it was meant to make a point, then hopefully leave this whole hockey world behind after the damage had been done.
but then one of your girls would throw on the game, and jack's expressive face would fill the screen, chewing on the fingers of his gloves during warm ups, and your heart would sink at the thought of leaving him behind. and it just about combusted at the idea that you were using him, even though that's exactly what you were doing.
you've only been on two dates with him, only kissed once, you reminded yourself. he's probably seeing other people, anyways, probably with some other girl right now. it's not like you're exclusive. this is probably not a big deal to him.
the thought was comforting but also devastating, a brick in your stomach.
while he was away, midterms came and went. as you walked into your last one, you thought about maybe texting jack after, trying to get together tonight, since he would finally be back.
then your pen hit the paper and time passed in a blur.
you exited the lecture hall in a flurry of relief and pride, happy to have accomplished something so concrete, something that you had truly worked hard on.
walking down the stairs outside of the entrance, your smile stilled, frozen in shock, when you looked up from your feet and saw a familiar, beautiful figure leaning against his car, an excited grin on his face, flowers in his grip as he locked eyes with you, making your breath catch.
"is that jack hughes?" some kid from your class said altogether too loudly to his friend. you had seen that same kid wearing devils gear more than once.
his friend didn't look up from his phone. "who's jack hughes?" he replied.
you couldn't stop your disbelieving laugh, your smile, already making your cheeks sore as you finished descending the stairs, until you were in front of him, wrapping your arms around him, pulling him in for a hug before you even realized what you were doing.
this was so unlike you, really, letting yourself feel as deeply as you could without filtering it, but anything else would have felt so wrong it could have killed you. especially when he brought his arms around you without even a second's hesitation, held you tight and close, so you could feel the petals of the flowers on the back of your neck.
"you're here," you said, breathlessly, still shocked, into his firm chest.
"had to make it back for your last test," he said into your hair, both of you not wanting to let go.
"how did you know?" you murmured, pulling away from him, only slightly.
he loosened his embrace, pulled away to get a look at you, let his eyes run over you carefully, indulgently. he pushed your hair back from your face, his touch gentle, like you were a relic, something worth treasuring. "you said so, last week," he said simply, like it was obvious.
he said it as if, for years of your life, you had wished and yearned so reverently for auston to remember the little things, like your coffee order, like the dates on which your parents were coming to visit, like your anniversary.
he said it as if it didn't mean the entire world that he had listened, that he had remembered.
you only leaned into his chest, looked up at him with something seriously dangerous in your eyes, something that was not supposed to be there. "'d you bring me flowers, jack?" you asked, a playful note in your tone.
he flushed, so lovely, hid his face behind the bouquet, peeking only one deep blue eye out, as if embarrassed. "too much?" he asked, still shielding his face.
you laughed, squeezed his bicep lightheartedly. "just enough," you assured him, your eyes full of meaning, willing him to lower his shield, let you see the face you had been dreaming of all week. "thank you. i missed you."
you would have told him that a thousand times just to see the way his whole face lit up, like he could never hide how happy your words made him. he wore the late afternoon sunshine like a dream, the dewy rays dripping down his cheekbones, the slope of his nose, slow and golden as honey.
he had this way of making you feel like you were first choice, every time, and it was so foreign that you hadn't known you had been craving it until he had laid it at your feet like an offering. every time he texted you to check in, to ask how your day was, to finalize plans, it would send a flurry of butterflies swarming your chest, a rosy flush to the bridge of your nose.
he was so, so beautiful, inside and out, that you effectively forgot what the whole point of your plan was in the first place. you basically had forgotten about it, that day that he dragged you along with some of his friends to pick out a christmas tree.
"do i know any of these friends?" you had asked on the way up, riding shotgun, reaching over periodically to run your nails along his neck, just below his hairline, your way of saying i'm happy you're here. and he would reach over and rest his hand on your thigh, not possessive, just a reminder of your presence. a reminder that made your insides twist with want, nonetheless, that made your gaze simmer.
one of the things you appreciated so genuinely about jack was that he didn't rush you for even a second, so happy to go at whatever pace made you most comfortable, whatever pace would keep you around the longest. it felt almost wrong that his acceptance of a slow pace made you want to speed things up, made you want to know what he felt like in your hands, what sounds he might make if you teased him, what his voice would sound like in your bed.
he let out a rumble of a laugh at your question, shaking you from your daze. "you'll definitely recognize one of them," he said. "though i don't know if he's fully recovered from your last meeting."
"oh no." you paled. "not him." you winced, thinking about how you had probably bruised his inflated ego. not beyond repair, though, you knew. for guys like that, never beyond repair.
jack traced circles on your thigh with his thumb in affirmation. "don't worry, baby," he said, "told 'm to be on best behavior."
when you arrived, you recognized that boisterous voice immediately.
"so good to see you again, sugar," he drawled, his tone especially toying.
you decided to cut any hard feelings immediately, going up to him and giving him a quick hug in greeting. "i think i owe you a thank you, coach of the year," you said, pulling away with a smile.
luckily, he seemed to forgive quickly, even to appreciate your efforts. "i prefer my thank yous in hot chocolate form," he said, and you promised to fulfill his request later. he gave you his name in exchange for yours.
you spent the afternoon leisurely ambling around the grounds, looking at potential trees, but really just enjoying the company of those around you.
most of the time, you spent laughing, tucked into jack's side, finding warmth in the firm feeling of his hip against your waist.
"what about this one?" trevor asked, holding up an especially short and stout one.
the two of you decided jack would need a taller one to better suit the ceiling proportions in his living room.
walking around, it felt like you were in your own dreamy winter wonderland, in a fog of laughter and warmth and a million other beautiful things.
"you leave again tomorrow?" you asked at one point, unable to hide the slight disappointment in your voice. you peered up at him, your eyes warm, your cheeks rosy from the cold.
he met your gaze and nodded, hugged you tighter into his side. "back in a few days," he said.
you couldn't help but pout just a little. jack's roadtrips felt longer and more lonely than auston's ever had.
jack ran his thumb along your bottom lip. "what's that for, baby?" he asked.
you shrugged. "just gonna miss you, 's all," you told him honestly.
something sweet bubbled up in his gaze, but the moment was effectively interrupted by trevor's voice coming from behind you, now shockingly close.
"oh?" he said, dramatic, "what's this? is that - mistletoe?" he emphasized all of his words with dramatic pauses. you briefly thought that maybe, if he hadn't been all in on hockey, he would have made an excellent theater kid.
you both turned to find trevor standing right behind you, holding an alarmingly large branch of something that resembled mistletoe.
"where did you find that?" jack asked his friend.
"never mind that," trevor said, waving him off.
you elbowed jack lightly. "looking for an excuse not to kiss me, are you?"
he shook his head incredulously, as if you had said something funny. you were about to tease him again, but he didn't give you the chance, immediately taking your face in his hands and angling his head down slightly to meet you in a kiss that seared every bit of chill from the air.
would you ever get used to this? would his lips ever not feel like they belonged on yours? would your heartbeat ever not thrum, like some perfect harmony?
the warmth of his hands on your face, the security of yours against the plane of his chest, all of it, everything - it was so perfect you wanted to stay here, just like this, forever. and the thought didn't even scare you as want began to pool inside of you, hot and heavy.
a mixture of a cough and a laugh had the two of you pulling away from each other. one of jack's other friends who had tagged along let out a low whistle, making you blush deeper.
jack just slung a heavy arm around your shoulders and pulled you close, pressing his lips to the top of your head.
luckily, trevor's attention had already strayed, as he was now holding the branch over his own head and the head of the other friend. "don't fight it!" he was calling out as the friend broke out into a light gait.
"get away from me, you scumbag," the poor kid called out over his shoulder.
your eyes were stuck on jack's face, still hazy from your kiss. he turned to you, his mouth quirking up. "staring, baby?" he said, low enough for only you to hear.
you nodded, shameless. "want you," you told him plainly, barely recognizing the tone of your own voice.
the fire in his own eyes welled up as you placed your hands flat on his chest. "fuck, now, baby?" he asked, looking around to where his friends chased each other around.
you bit your lip, pleaded him with your eyes. "please, jack," you said, "please take me home."
he took your hand in his immediately, tossed some parting words over his shoulder to his friends, who paused, watched the two of you stumble into jack's car with urgency.
as he started the engine and pulled away, you heard a faint the hell are we supposed to do with this tree?
the car ride back felt longer than it really was, both of you practically buzzing with want. you kept a hand in his hair, his palm planted firmly on the inside of your thigh, close but not close enough.
you let out a sigh of relief when he pulled into the driveway, let him pull you into the house, push you up against the closed door, kiss you again with heat and force and somehow, such softness.
it was the softness that filled you with want. his desire was obvious, especially when he pressed his hips up, hard against you, but that didn't mean he wasn't just so gentle with you, so in tune to what you wanted.
you fisted your hands in his hair, pulled until his posture faltered, until his lips parted further and he moaned into your mouth.
you hooked a leg around his hip to bring him closer, relished the way he began to rock against you.
"fuck, baby," he breathed out, strained, stuttering in places, "don't wanna fuck you against the door."
later, you would think about how auston had never had such a problem. he had never cared where you were, how uncomfortable a position had made you. sometimes you had thought he found his own bed boring.
but jack just pulled you into his room, lightly rocked you back onto the bed, pressed soft kisses down your jaw, your neck, your stomach. you both pushed and pulled clothes aside, looking to give the other as much access as possible.
"so fuckin' pretty," he mumbled against your stomach, making you flush all over.
"please, jack," you whined as he slowly dragged his fingers through your folds, making you shiver.
"what do you need, baby?" he asked, pumping himself a few times, up and down, his voice low and rough.
you sat up for a moment, took hold of his hand, peered up at him through your lashes as you spit into it.
he groaned, ran his hand over his cock, now glistening with your spit. desire glowed in your eyes like fireflies. "tell me," he begged.
you laid back on the bed again, the smell of him everywhere. another time, you would insist on feeling him in your mouth, maybe on feeling his mouth on you, but you knew the both of you were far too desperate for that.
"just need you inside me, baby, please," you said, your eyes raking over his figure above you, all gentle slopes and hard lines together.
"ask me so good, baby, so good for me," he said, a careful rasp. he thumbed your clit, making you jolt, dragging his fingers through you again before bringing them to his mouth. "and so ready, hm?"
you nodded feverishly, your mouth falling open as he finally pushed into you, his groan deep.
you whined, the stretch so surreal as you reached forward to grasp at his forearm, anything to ground you.
staying still in the stretch for a second, you waited for the feeling to weaken, but it didn't, not really.
he dropped his head, his exhale coming out shallow, the muscles in his shoulders constrained.
you tightened your grip on his forearm, let your nails dig into him to pull him back to you.
"fuck, baby, i can't," he bit out, "can't, i swear."
you rolled your hips back and forth, trying to will some movement from him. "please, jack, please move," you begged. "please fuck me, baby."
never one to deny you, he began a slow pace, the friction and depth almost unbearable. one of his hands dug into your hip, so hard you could feel bruising, the other beginning to rub careful circles on your clit, making you cry out in pleasure.
"you're so deep," you choked, "faster, baby, need you faster."
he obliged, picking up the pace of his rhythm, moving his hand faster against your clit, making that wave well up within you, forcing moans from your throat.
"fuck, sound so pretty, baby," he said, a glistening sheen now painted across his brow, his collarbones. "so pretty, squeezing me so perfect."
the muscles of his stomach began to contract as you felt yourself dangerously close.
his rhythm continued, bruising in depth and force, so lovely in softness. you tugged his hand from your hip, placed his fingers on your tongue, desperate for something to do with your mouth. you sucked, pulling a guttural moan from him. "don't stand a chance when you do that, baby, swear," he said, "fuck, don't stand a chance with you, hm?"
you felt yourself smile around his hand, your eyes watering, glazed over.
"gonna make me cum, baby," he whined, his motions becoming jerky, his voice little more than a plea. "cum with me, baby, hm? make me feel so good, yeah?"
you fell over the edge at his words, felt his orgasm follow yours almost immediately, the air warm and sticky around you. he collapsed on top of you, his exhales like liquid on your skin, yours like dreamy sighs as he pulled you to him, held you close as you waited for the rise and fall of your chests to settle.
he drew his fingers lazily around the flesh of your thigh, your hip, you pushed his hair back from his face as you both fought sleep, wanting just a few more seconds in the conscious presence of the other.
everything was so lovely you could barely stand it.
you should have known it wouldn't last long.
a day into jack's time away, you received a text from one of your friends in toronto. it was a picture from auston's instagram with the message just thought you should know. we miss you.
something cracked in your chest at the photo of your ex-fiance and this new girl. it wasn't really jealousy, definitely not desire, no, it was harder to pinpoint.
maybe it was the fact that after four years of being together, and after a whole year of being engaged, auston had never once even thought about posting a picture of the two of you.
and you had always chalked it up to the fact that you didn't have any social media, but now, you realized there was something to be said about letting the world know that you were taken.
and you also knew, now, that that was a statement auston had been unable to make your entire relationship.
a voice in the back of your mind, tone watery with tears, wailed. what makes her so special? it pressed. what makes her so much better than me?
it didn't help that she looked absolutely nothing like you. you wondered passingly if you would have preferred a look-a-like to be staring back at you through your screen. you didn't really know, but you did know that her features were sharp to your soft, your eyes are hair completely different in coloring. her face had you questioning if he had ever really found you beautiful, or if you had been the exception to his regular type. the idea weighed heavily on your shoulders like a cape made of cement.
but you knew, at the end of the day, that it was not about her.
and so you decided that as much as your relationship with jack had become genuine, maybe it was time to bring back the plan, just a little.
it can be two things, you told yourself, jack doesn't need to get hurt.
so when jack arrived back from the road, your relationship now teetered on a tightrope, balancing between two things, two motives like a trapeze artist.
still, you tried your best not to let your desire to rip out the heart of your ex-fiance stand in between you and jack. you could be bloodthirsty and gentle at the same time, you told yourself. two things.
the idea became easier when jack began to ask you to come to his games.
at first, you had been skeptical. auston hadn't wanted you there until maybe a year and half into your relationship. you didn't want to push this, press your luck, make yourself a burden, in fear of him abandoning you.
"are you sure you want me there?" you had asked the first time, a little timid, your face resting on your clasped hands, sitting at his kitchen counter, keeping him company as he made something on the stove.
he had turned to you, head tilted, confused. "of course i do, baby," he had said, calmly and clearly. "i want you everywhere i am."
and that had been the end of that.
so you began to become a regular attendee at his games, getting to know the people of his life more closely, becoming a fixture in his life more solidly.
you let him post a picture of the two of you, so touched that he would even ask. he showed you the post when he was done.
you kissed his shoulder in response. "your eyes are closed, jack," you said, half-laughing at the fact that he had chosen this picture, so flawed in nature.
"hm?" he looked at the picture again, then shrugged. "hadn't noticed. no one's gonna be looking at me, anyways."
you shook your head, disbelieving. he was making it hard for this to be two things. he was making it really, really hard to care if your ex-fiance even saw this post. he was making it really hard to care about your ex-fiance at all.
"i don't believe you, sometimes," you mused aloud.
he twirled a lock of your hair, mesmerized. "how?"
you tilted your head back to allow him easier access. "you're pretty perfect, you know that?" you smiled up at him, blissful. "too perfect."
seeing his face go pink with your praise made you make a mental vow to tell him more often.
and he gave you every opportunity to be surprised by his perfection, over and over.
every kiss was something teenage you would have dreamed about, every time he led you into his bedroom was something current you dreamed about. how he seemed to enjoy every moment no matter what you were doing, even how clearly he communicated with you during your first fight, all of it astounded you.
he made all of your friends jealous, but so happy for you. he met them, one time, when he dropped you off to get coffee with them after class.
he was so respectful with them, asked them genuine questions, but never anything that told you that he wasn't in on you one hundred percent.
when auston met your best friend in toronto, he had dropped your hand that he had been holding.
"didn't tell me she was so pretty, angel," he had said, and you had hoped it was just to show you he was putting in an effort to impress the people that were important to you.
when jack said he had to be going, to get to morning skate, he just kissed your cheek. "use my card, yeah, baby?" he called out, waiting for your nod and smile before he drove away.
how had you stumbled into this? was it possible that it wasn't too good to be true?
jack had asked you to come to toronto when the devils headed up north to play the leafs, because he knew you had lived there, because he had lived there, too, and wanted to show you around. and it had reached a point where refusing him when he offered a piece of himself to you seemed cruelly impossible.
you told yourself that it was just another game, just another day. it helped that you honestly didn't feel any attachment to this rink, even to this city. you had watched jack play plenty, now, and you were determined to treat this game just the same as any other, if not rooting for jack with just a little more urgency, a little more emotion.
you loved how easy he was to cheer for. you loved how you could see how much he loved the game, how he smiled after every good play, how he saw things you could have never seen on the ice. you could practically hear his laugh in the rafters, see his imperfect teeth in the glass. he was everywhere, here, are you loved it.
of course, you noticed that your ex-fiance was here, but it honestly wasn't even that bad. if anything, it was confirmation that you were over him, that what you had with jack was real, that you weren't in for revenge anymore. you weren't in this for auston at all.
until he scored, and his goal song echoed through the arena. you knew that this year, the leafs had decided to try out individual goal songs after players scored, songs that they chose before the season started.
you did not know, however, that auston matthews' goal song was the song that, months ago, was set to be the soundtrack to your first dance.
the crowd was eating it up, of course they were, the juxtaposition of auston's dynamic scoring ability with the old-fashioned crooning of you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you.
the song seemed to reverberate off of the walls, into your head, behind your eyes, where it settled like thick fog. it smelled like champagne, waxy makeup, hairspray. your eyes began to water, which made your throat constrict.
like a dream, maybe a hazy memory, your first dance that never was flashed across your mind. an ornate, almost gauche white dress, the beautiful heels you had been practicing to wear. his pressed suit, slicked back hair, stupid designer socks that used to make you laugh. his hand on your waist, your arms around his neck, the two of you lost in each other, swaying, swirling around the floor to this song, surrounded by loved ones, high on laughter and the future and love.
slowly, the image blinked out of your vision as the song faded and the puck dropped, play starting up again.
it blinked out like a dying star, and then it was exactly that. dead.
because as you trained your eyes back on the ice, never once did they stray from 86 in red. never once did anything like regret or nostalgic desire well up in your heart, because you were not the one who lost. you were not the one with something to prove.
finally, you buried that wedding dress, laid it six feet under, let the soil spoil it, knowing one day you would wear a white dress and it would mean something to both parties involved.
in a breath, the game ended, and jack won, and he was truly all you were thinking about.
waiting for him, though, practically bouncing up and down, you were suddenly pulled into a side hallway by a grip you would recognize anywhere.
you were not surprised to look up and see the calculating eyes of auston matthews looking down at you with some lethal combination of heat and arrogance.
"angel," he said, a greeting that made you grind your teeth.
you pulled your arm away from him, shook him off of you, willed strength and stone into your posture and tone. "cool goal song, asshole," you bit out.
"i missed you too," he cooed, not taking you seriously, even now. his frame seemed so imposing now, looming large, too large for someone you didn't trust.
you rolled your eyes. "if you'll excuse me, i'm waiting for someone." you turned to leave the hallway, go back to the exit where jack would surely be walking out of any minute.
auston grabbed at your wrist, and it burned. "what, you mean that kid?" he scoffed, but didn't let go. "c'mon, angel, you know he's nothing to you." he rubbed a circle into your wrist that once, might have been soothing, but now made you feel sick. "you know you're all for me."
and you could have said so many things. like how that kid was your age, actually, so what did that say about him? like how that kid was twice the man he would ever be. like how this would be the last time you ever saw him, the last time he would ever have your attention.
the opening of a door ripped you from your thoughts as both you and auston glanced up to see jack in the doorframe, his bag slung over his shoulder, his face flushed from the game, tired blue eyes caught on auston's hand around your wrist.
time froze for a millisecond as you felt like you were pulled between worlds. it can be two things, you had told yourself once. it was never two things.
you watched as painful realization settled in jack's eyes as he simply turned away, let the door close behind him.
you ripped your arm from auston's grasp. "you've never taken me seriously," you told him then, looking him square in the face, your tone steady and serious as anything. "but if you believe anything i say, let it be that you are nothing to me, and you never will be again."
for the second time, you were the one to leave, this time running towards something worth saving.
you cursed under your breath, looking around for that head of soft brown hair.
you found him in a different hallway, sitting on the ground, his bag slumped next to him, his back leaning against the wall, his feet flat on the ground.
for a single moment, it was so quiet you swore that your exhales echoed against the walls. he didn't turn to face you, but obviously knew you were there.
"so you're with him, then?" he practically whispered, his tone like a cleaver to your chest, so defeated and blindsided, almost like he was talking to himself.
you slowly made your way over to him, sat down next to him, mirrored his position. side by side, but he felt so far away. "i'm not," you said back to him.
he let out some kind of bitter laugh, a sound you hated, a sound you hoped you would never have to hear again. "so that was you making friends?" he picked at a thread on his dress pants. "just meeting new people, 's that it?"
you turned to face him, then, but he still faced forward, as if looking at you would ruin him. "it's not what you think," you said, softly.
"well, what is it?" he paused, looked at you, then, and he wore his sadness like a suit fit for mourning. "be honest with me, please."
you took a shaky breath, knowing that this, very possibly, might be the last time you would ever be so close to him. knowing that your next words, your explanation, it might drive him away from you forever, before you had even really had the chance to have him.
you savored this breath, this liminal space between the truth and the now.
"i was going to marry him," you said, and the confession felt like letting go of every single vengeful thought you had ever had, like all the spite and disdain in your body had evaporated into dust.
"you were going to marry auston matthews," jack murmured, his face blank, his tone confused.
"yes."
"but you're not anymore?" he asked, looking at you, leaning his cheek onto his knees like an impatient elementary school kid waiting for recess.
you shook your head. "no. he cheated on me."
there was a pause, brutal silence, as his brow furrowed in confusion, his fists clenched briefly before letting go. his gaze fell to his hands for a moment, and when he spoke again it was so cautious, so pointed, that your stomach sank. "and then you just happened to start dating me?" he looked so tired. "same job, same goals, pretty much same life." he let out a breath. "you can't tell me that's a coincidence."
you sighed, prayed to whatever god would listen that honesty would count for something. "no, it wasn't a coincidence." your heart felt like it was lulling itself to sleep. "you were never a coincidence."
he dropped his head between his knees, and hurt vibrated through the air like sound waves. you could feel his hurt in your fingertips, could have melted in down, frozen it, wielded it like a weapon. "tell me something, baby," he pleaded, muffled by his legs. "please."
you knew it was unfair, but you laid a gentle hand on his fingers. "let me tell you all of it, please, jack, and then you don't have to see me again if you don't want to."
he took a breath that you felt in your bones, then in an act of mercy you cherished, gave a soft nod.
so you did. you told him the whole story - how you had been so devastated and hurt that you were blinded by a desire to make auston suffer. how you had chosen jack on purpose, because you knew it would cut the deepest. how you had not simply shown up randomly at that bar, all that time ago, how all of it was part of a plan, down to flirting with his friend, down to that first game of pool.
he didn't push your hand away, actually leaned his leg into your arm as you told him the story. the scary part's over, you wanted to say, you can stop hiding under the covers, now.
and so you told him about how he had hijacked your plan entirely. how you never expected to determine how good your day was based on how often you heard his laugh, how no one could have predicted how often you dreamed of his smile, how days when he was away truly felt like a loss.
"if i had known you, i never would have put you through this," you told him, finally, honestly. "i would have left you alone."
he was quiet for a moment, and then he picked his head up and looked at you, genuinely, thoughtfully. "you never would have used me to get back at your ex-fiance?" he asked, but there was not really any bite in his tone.
you tried your luck, reached up, brushed his damp hair from his forehead. "i did use you," you admitted. "and i don't have an excuse." he looked at you with clear eyes. "it was mean, and cruel, and all i can do is say that i'm so, so sorry and i will never hurt you like that again. i promise, that's the truth."
in the silent moments after you finished speaking, you closed your eyes for a brief moment, waiting for his reaction.
when you opened your eyes, he was looking at you. he opened his legs and knees wide, held open his arms, waiting. "i believe you."
it took no convincing for you to settle into the space he had created for you, to lean back against his chest, feel his heartbeat between your shoulder blades, his arms coming around your sides to clasp in front of your middle.
"you believe me?" you said, almost a whisper. you picked up his hand, held it to your chest, shocked that he was letting you. shocked that he was still here, making space for you.
you let the smell of him engulf you. it felt similar to walking into your mother's closet - the evidence of her living, loving, everywhere around you. the evidence of jack was everywhere, now, all over you, growing like some carnivorous plant over your heart.
"you promised," he said simply, into your hair.
and how spectacular it felt for someone to take you seriously, to take your words at face value, to understand that when you promised something, you meant it.
it felt like words were failing you, so you brought his hand to your mouth and pressed your lips to his palm lightly.
he hummed into your hair. "tell me about now," he said, voice steady and patient.
"hm?" you twisted your neck to look him in the eye, leaned back further until the back of your head rested on his chest.
"you told me about before. about him," he said, his eyes swimming with home, with hope. "tell me about us. tell me about now."
you searched for words, wondering how you could convey just how important he was to you, just how deeply you cared.
you could have said that his eyes were the most beautiful ocean you'd ever swam in. you could have said that kissing him felt like swallowing stardust, that listening to him talk about his day was a privilege and honor.
you could have said how you loved his voice after a long day, how he wore his emotions openly, shamelessly, how kind he was to those around him, how he didn't let you leave his house in doubt for even a second about his feelings, how he let laughter come easy, how he was many things but never, ever, indifferent.
you could have said so many things, but sometimes poetry and fancy words are inadequate, just diluting the true meaning, make it taste like watered-down juice, faint and lacking.
you could have said so many things, but you just told him the truth.
"i wake up every morning and i think of you," you said. "every moment you're not with me, i wish you were." you willed every ounce of meaning into your gaze. "you are my first choice, every time, jack. and it's not even close."
there was a silence as he processed what you said, and something like adoration dawned in his gaze like a springtime sunrise.
he tilted his head down, pressed his lips to yours in a kiss that told you he understood.
that no matter how you had gotten here, you were here, now.
"tell me again," he whispered against your mouth, and you smiled into his. that, you could do.
fin.
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pucked-bunnie · 15 days
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ABOUT: This is a fan-fiction blog centered around hockey players and the nhl, please not that not all requests will be completed and may be deleted if not within my comfort zone.
BLOG UNDER CONSTRUCTION; SOME LINKS MAY NOT WORK/ARE NOT POSTED YET
⎜ inbox status : open ⎜
⎜ fic requests : open ⎜
⎜chat & questions : open ⎜
⎜masterlist: n/a ⎜
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⎜who i write for ⎜
nico hischier
timo meier
dawson mercer
alexander holtz
john marino
luke hughes
jack hughes
quinn huges
mat barzal
elias pettersson
trent frederic
jeremy swayman
auston matthews
joseph woll
william nylander
cole caufield
jamie drysdale
matthew knies
⎜genres i write ⎜
horror
thriller
angst
romance
alternate universes (e.g. soulmate au, college au etc.) 
fluff
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summer lovin' - l.hughes (requested)
synopsis: a summer down at the lake house always had a way of changing peoples relationships.
oh captain, my captain - n.hischier
synopsis: as the new team nurse of the new jersey devils you knew that staying at arms length with the players was for the best, but injuries can bring out your deepest emotions.
captain's sister - a.matthews
synopsis: everyone knows that the captains sister is off limits - but he just can't help watching her.
wedding dates & unwelcome surprises - j.hughes (requested)
synopsis: it's the first time you're bringing your new boyfriend home to meet your family as a date to your sisters wedding - you didnt know your ex was going to be there.
puppy love - t.frederic (requested)
synopsis: you met him once by accident, you can't help that you happen to be in the same cafe, in the same spot, at the same time every morning.
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spiceberrie · 9 months
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misc because wikipedia binge while nvdia wastes my time
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2016 was such a fucking year like omg so narratively significant and impactful but ultimately anticlimactic? like the caps and the pens have dominated for the last 15 years and now whatttttttttttt. we have the cup hopefuls who can hope not etc natemac being the only 1oa since 2013 to win a cup . dire timeline
2015 draftees who have touched the grey metallic mug
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also w the bolts ^
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edm’s future 8mil aav goalie also
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ok i got tired but it’s so interesting reading through this because 1. it’s such a random championship for a random sport LOL like what can be exactly determined and what’s an invisible intangible for a coach’s eye only? and also what magic did yzer work on the bolts for them to be able to draft so deep and so consistently? jeichel is such a high-pick to win with a team different than his own. i have tried to search for this***
how good teams can be good for years or only win once but like how dominance is ever so rarely a 1 year endeavor apart from the SAINT LOUIS BLUES?! i think that when people say that Connor must really want that cup and it’s a visible issue because he’s under a certain level of scrunity and his individual dominance requires visible results etc that the guys below him have also wanted this all their life. and then that guy who was drafted #120 has also wished it with his whole being. which to me doesn’t necessarily entails values such as deserving or underming or meritocracy or anything but it’s interesting! mainly because the bolts are such playoff villains too. same as vgk. and that ruthlessness / unlikeable factor doesn’t appeal much to hockeyblr and fans lifelong fans from main hockey markets but at the same time are seen as proof as a break of tradition.
the punk rock factor? which i’m stealing from Emma D'Arcy but i think it’‘s also the fundamental difference in the Connor McDavid / Auston Matthews axis. which is. even if i think they’re more alike than not the perception of them both as talented but Auston as cool / untraditional and Connor as weird / more of the same has to do with it too. of course i see this in everything since it’s part of my coursework LOL but it’s interesting TO MEEE to analyze teams mainly as products of media and coverage as opposed to orgs protected from external interference etc which is what sportzfans who hate meddling journos prefer. and it’s also part of the keep it behind closed doors culture. but if you ask some people the reason the Toronto Maple Leafs have lost so consistently it’s either because the pessimistic media jinxed  them or because They Didn’t Want It Enough. they didn’t play with blood in their eyes! but what does that mean? and how can management and front office affairs be translated into it so seamlessly? but then i sound like a harangued leafs journo. ok so Mitch Marner doesn’t have it but what IS it? and Mathew Tkachuk has it but then you can explain how it isn’t just down the line of a LONG list of decisions managed by coaches and gms and what-not? but also it’s fun to extrapolate and fictionalize it <3 and also it creates tension and it’s part of the midiatic storytelling necessary for broadcasting. and also i love it so much... because then it means that auston can be dunked on regardless LOL sorry. predictable.
**i just don’t understand what i’m supposed to be keywording for LOL like must i do the excel sheet by mine own will??????
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aw okay. alright. i feel kinda silly for doing it manually now!!!!!!!! also how did i miss kolesar didn’t he kill chucky LOL
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i love austonmisery so i’m okay with this. but once again. i don’t fully understand the bolts dominance like at all besides good drafting and everything like omg.
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have we thanked detroit enough
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shutth3puckup · 11 months
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To the anon who asked about the psychology of why Megan gets people so emotionally charged, it's literally the fact that she bagged & is in a relationship with their fave. And it all boils down to jealousy and envy. That's it. 
Like imagine, instead of Auston, Megan was with ANY other player on the roaster. Would she have gotten the same harsh treatment? Nope.  
Auston is literally perceived as the saviour of the Leafs, the golden child, the MVP, and the superstar of the Leaf's nation. Girls want to be with said golden goose for their own ego boost. "OMG you guys, guess who I hooked up with. Auston frecking Matthews wants ME!" 
It's literally about his position and fame because it's 100% deff not based on his looks, or personality, because other players in the league would beat him out every single time in those categories. 
Imagine if Austion was drafted by any other team, even with his level of talent, he would not have achieved this level of status & fame. He most deff wouldn't have a constant stream of girls chasing after him either. 
It literally has nothing to do with Megan herself, but everything to do with whoever (insert name here) is dating Matthews. Anyone who becomes entangled with him will get an abnormal level of scrutiny. Stans get so emotionally charged because 'How did she manage to nab and settle down this untouchable, unattainable, unwearying player?' 
Stans get so emotionally charged because they literally turn a blind eye to all the horrid things Auston has done, put him up on a pedestal, and then get mad when any girl gets close to him this isn't them. It's textbook delusional fangirl behaviour.  
Not to mention, if Auston is genuinely committed to a relationship, it disrupts the goal of those who fantasize about being with him. If Auston is the desired commodity and Megan possesses him, then he is effectively off the market. 
Hypothetically, this means that no other girl would have the opportunity to get with him. Naturally, this situation can cause turmoil for individuals, especially those who have constructed elaborate, fan-fiction-worthy narratives in their minds about being with Auston. And Megan inevitably becomes the villain and a target of hate, regardless of her actions or lack thereof. Again, this is textbook delusional fangirl behaviour.
“It literally has nothing to do with Megan herself, but everything to do with whoever (insert name here) is dating Matthews”
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chanelfunnell · 1 year
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QAI like Chaunette Shaw's interior and lifestyle but we have WAGs or journos who show a little piece of their privacy certain trolls are able to recognise Tazer's kitchen in the background of his new gf's photo. Apparently Toews Kane/Crosby Interesting/Ashetoewsgurl has recognised Toews's black kitchen from the video for Drew Barrymore's TV show.
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Caley Cheelios invites you from time to time to her garden with chicken or her kitchen with her dancing children. Other WAGs are IN influencers and we see their house often. Other women are just panning their faces against the white wall and small peak or one photo of the coffee machine next to old painting or yellow candle holders next to candle is a pinnacle of revealing privacy.
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Elina Cassell, Hjalmarsson before has revealed her home taste matching her similar fashion style in Scandinavian decor. Elina has posted photos of her home design signed as interior designer Elina.
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Compared to
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When fashion style (her party dress is nice and sleak or sexy) meets home décor or her multiple mentioned favourite NHL example Auston Matthews who is known for his eclectic fashion style. Yes, Troll's favourite target beside WAGs, a sport commentator/biz woman Marketa BLW and her countryside pad. Still more personality than Royal Christmas photo with dull beige walls next to cheap shiny Christmas gift box. Yuk. Like a modern wicker lampshade.
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i have been thanked by Marketa's US lawyers led by her long term ex bf lawyer from Santa Barbara who are checking whether Rachel Meghan Markle has used anything from Marketa's estates Balmoral and Sandringham where Catherine, Princess of Wales got a boot from Anmer Hall, already locks changed as their illegal sublet is not worthy of paper. Marketa takes full control and intellectual possession of he estates since January 1,2023. I should forward the notice that any photo opt or visit up to this date without her consent will be tackled in the court rooms and female in laws such as Kate Middleton are advised to hire an expert's in the field of nominee trust and property law rather than a media lawyer because they prefer clothes and media attention. District Judge Russell of Norwich court, UK has made couple of serious procedural irregularities in past and media lawyer Miss Prince who was not an expert in nominee trust and real estate law has exchanged two emails as off court communication with late response to the case against Catherine Mountbatten Windsor, nee Middleton, Princess of Wales. Marketa BLW has confirmed that the royals and so Queen breach regularly independence of justice in UK and late Queen has ordered to stop a court case by Daily Mail against Rachel Meghan Markle who is still seen as a part of Royal Family despite their attitude and public opinion.
I was told Thank you for an alert and informed that they lodged a lawsuit against Canadian troll Ashley who is behind two fan blogs, one fan IN account and insane blabbing about Crosby and Marketa on Blogger. It explains how certain crazies knows how certain women stating outside of the press and social media are recognised after ten years. I would struggle to recognise Zach Parise or Taylor Johnson now . It explains why I am Lee now - a fictional character of Mrs Troll on her old sci fi blog to Randy Morin being called Marketa himself.. Toews has been apparently advised to unfollow her and so Marcus Aubrey from Austin, Texas for his charlatan like pseudo medicine pedalling psychedelic stuff, steroids etc, hatred about races and Jews and promotion of Donald Trump with conspiracy theories.
With permission of Marketa's lawyers and upon their request as she will be accountable for any possible defamation Jonathan Toews's slump in absence of offense is not caused by physical side but mental one and unlinked to the reasons of NHL franchise's change - Alex deBrincat. Toews has been struggling significantly since 2017 when Aubrey Marcus has entered the scene, so Innit gym and so called holistic trips to Arizona etc with certain groups . While Toews has climbed back to his previous peak in 2018 when he has adjusted his diet back to meat instead of just plant, carbon free food and tons of pseudo energy drinks and supplements by Aubrey his visible decreased personal performance on the ice has remained. He has showed good improvement in the first NHL games but it has been all..He is frustrated, flight or fight mode and no focus to score or pass the goal which is a problem of his mind rather than body. He uses advice from Aubrey's know how etc. According M's lawyers her streaming and social media company and so Spotify, Twitter, Amazon will limit Aubrey's biz and spread of his theories and Josh's podcast will be curated to be conspiracy, hate free.
Elina Cassell has new biz. Home design. I recommend to check crazy fashion style of Austin Matthews. Crazy like his 60 last season.
IN by Elina Castle, Suz Sabat MUA and undisclosed company's IN of Marketa BLW
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sc0tters · 1 month
Note
Ok I’m gonna be so fr i wanna send in a request but idk which thing to pick bc i honestly don’t know what classifies as an AU? Like are all imagines/ storys AUs? U would think i haven’t been reading fan fiction since 2014 😂
so the mood board things are explicitly for my au couples because those I use oc’s for.
Head cannons are literally just an elaboration of a topic (ex: breeding kink!auston Matthews)
social media aus though are just a fancy way of saying social media edits where you pick a player and create a scenario for them (like Jack and his singer girlfriend hard launching)
Im horrible at explaining things but I hope this has cleared some things up for you!
0 notes
hockeyisit · 3 years
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Break In.
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Summary: Someone breaks into Auston's apartment.
A.N. Hey guys its been a while!!! I hope your all doing okay if not feel free to send me a message and we can talk whenever! Sorry its been so long since I've been on I've just been really busy lately. I hope you guys enjoy this short story. Feel free to send in questions for Auston and Amelia!
Word Count: 1,032
Masterlist
Waking up with a start I turn over in my bed to face Auston. He was sleeping soundly on his side facing me, his chest rising softly. Felix was laid at the end but had lifted up slightly so that he could look at me. I let out a soft breath as I turned to the bedside table to read the clock. 3:45am.
I glanced back at the door confused before hearing a loud bang ring throughout the silent apartment. Felix sat up more as he turned his attention to the door. He let out a quiet bark as sat up.
“Auston,” I whispered reaching out to shake his arm.
“Aus wake up,” I repeated louder giving him another rough shake. His sleepy eyes peaked open as he came to his surroundings.
“Amelia?” he questioned closing his eyes and reaching his arms out to pull me against him. Another loud noise sounded throughout the apartment causing Auston to jump into a sitting position.
“Who was that?” he asked, sending me a confused look. I gave him an annoyed look as I shook my head.
“Why would I know that?” I asked pulling the blanket up so that it would cover my naked body.  We had ended up having sex when we got back from the bar and we seemed to have fallen asleep without getting dressed.
“Did we let anyone sleep over?” he questioned rubbing his eyes before reaching for his shirt that was at the end of the bed. I shook my head no as he climbed out of the bed. He grabbed a pair of boxers before making his way back over to me with another t-shirt.
“Put that on I’m going to see who’s here,” he told me as he threw the shirt at me.
“Wait what if it’s like an axe murderer,” I said worriedly as I pulled the shirt on. Auston turned to look at me with a smirk on his face.
“Babe you’ve been watching way too many Forensic Files,” Auston said through a laugh. He reached for the door but I hopped out of bed slipping in between him and the door.
“I’m serious Auston. It’s 3:45am who on earth could that be?” I questioned pushing my hand to his chest. He stared down at me for a moment, his eyebrows creased.
“Shh,” he shushed me before leaning down to press a kiss to my temple. I heard the sound of a cabinet loudly closing causing the two of us to jump again.
“C’mon Felix,” Auston called out as he opened the door. Felix took off out the door to the kitchen. He let out a loud bark before we heard the sound of someone saying shit. Auston quickly made his way out, me following hot on his trail.
“Fred? Will?” Auston asked confused as he made his way into the kitchen. The two were standing near the microwave, which was running. They turned to look at us with a confused and slightly sheepishlook.
“Auston what are you doing here?” Freddie asked, looking him over.
“Dude this is my apartment,” Auston laughed out as he reached his hand up to run it through his hair. I hid myself behind his body feeling slightly exposed in only Auston’s long t-shirt and my underwear.
“What?” Fred asked, looking around before turning back to us.
“Oh my god how did we end up here?” he questioned turning to Willy. The microwave timer went off causing us all to jump.
“You had the key!” Willy said, throwing his arms up. Freddie reached up and pulled the popcorn bag out of the microwave before making his way over to the cabinet to pull out a bowl.
“What are you doing?” Auston asked Freddie.
“Hi Amelia,” Willy slurred as he gave me a sweet smile. I felt myself blush as I pulled my shirt lower down my body.
“Do you want some popcorn?” Freddie asked, holding the bag out between us.
“What no. Dude it's almost four am you need to go,” Auston told them as he shook his head.
“Can we at least take the popcorn?” Willy asked as he picked up the plastic bowl Freddie had poured the popcorn into. Auston let out a sigh before nodding his head.
“Yeah I’ll see you guys tomorrow at practice,” Auston said as he pushed them toward the door.
“Be gentle bro,” Willy whined as Auston continued to push them. The two said their goodbyes before making their way out of the apartment.
“Sorry about that,” Auston whispered as he walked over to me wrapping his arms around my shoulders in a tight hug. He pressed a kiss to my forehead as I relaxed into his hold.
“Freddie has a key to your apartment?” I questioned as I pulled away from his hold.
“Yeah I gave him one when he moved into the same building in case I ever got locked out of my apartment or if he needed to borrow something,” Auston said as he walked over to the kitchen counter where the empty bag of popcorn lay. He picked it up and threw it in the garbage before grabbing my hand and leading me back to his bedroom. Auston walked over to the bathroom while I climbed into the bed. Felix followed me quickly, taking Auston’s spot.
“No bud you need to move,” Auston told Felix when he went to climb into the bed. Felix stared at him as if he didn't understand him. When he finally got Felix to move Auston cuddled up to me from behind.
“Sorry about that babe,” Auston mumbled into my ear before pressing a gentle kiss to my neck.
“It’s okay you didn’t know,” I laughed lightly as I locked my hand with his hand that was wrapped around me.
“I can ask him for the key back,” Auston grunted as he moved around to get more comfortable.
“No, don't worry about it.” I let out a sigh as I leaned into Auston.
“Your teammates bring great comedy,” I laughed. He joined in as he let out a sigh of own.
“I guess they do.”
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timetravelingheart · 5 years
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Consequences Chapter Eleven: A.M. Imagine
Smut, smut, smut. And a little bit of fluff. 
_________________________________________
September and October came and went in a blur, and now they were nearing the end of November. The air had turned crisp, most of the trees were bare, and daylight came and went so quickly that Tessa felt like she barely had any time for a real-life outside of work and school and all of her commitments. 
She had tried her best to watch as many Leafs games on TV in the evenings when she could, even just having it on in the background while she was writing or grading papers. She even attended a couple of home games with Steph and one his with parents. Ema had gotten her phone number so now they texted fairly regularly, especially when they were both watching his games in their own homes. 
But exams were coming up soon for her students and that meant some of her own deadlines were rapidly approaching so watching from home had to suffice for the most part. She had been nervous about how Auston’s hectic road trip schedule would coincide with her own commitments, but so far so good. 
They had minor hiccups here and there, particularly when Auston felt like she wasn’t taking good enough care of herself and she felt like he was overstepping and intruding on her independence. Or when he had a bad game and was a little snippy with her when she just tried to be positive about it and all he wanted to hear was ‘yeah Auston, you’re right, that game was shit and the refs were brutal’. They were quickly learning the ins and outs of each other’s love languages and communication strengths and weaknesses and learning to where they both needed to work on themselves and how they could better express what they need and want. 
It made the distance easier when he called her every night after a game, and if it was a home game, he usually came over to sleep at her place if he knew she had a lot of work to do. She loved that he didn’t mind coming over to her place even though it meant they didn’t always have privacy with Lydia home. In fact, it actually made her fall for him even more when she would sometimes come home after him to find them just hanging out and laughing and watching shows. Auston and Lydia developed a brother-sister relationship that she also developed with Mitch. It was always important to her that Lydia liked whoever she was with because when push came to shove, she would always choose Lydia over anyone else. Fortunately, it didn’t seem like that would be an issue anytime soon. 
It was a Wednesday night and Auston had just returned from a week-long road trip, so Tessa was really looking forward to seeing him. Unfortunately, she got stuck at the office doing paperwork so she told him to just go ahead and hang out with Lydia at their place. When she walked in the door from the cold outside, her heart grew three sizes when she heard the laughter coming from the living room. It surprised her to see not only Lydia and Auston there but also Mitch and Steph. They appeared to be deep into a game of Cards Against Humanity.  
“There’s the woman of the hour!” Mitch turned to her, getting up from his spot on her couch to wrap her in a big hug. “Fuck, you’re cold!” he pulled away quickly, letting her take off her jacket. 
“Hey, who said you could hug her first?” Auston shoved Mitch out of the way to lean down to squeeze her close to him, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “Hi, baby.”
“Hi,” Tessa said softly, beaming up at him. 
“Hey, move it loser, I get her next,” Steph yanked on the back of Auston’s sweater to pull him away and walk into Tessa’s open arms. “Hey chicky.”
“Should I get up and hug you now or...?” Lydia looked up from her spot where she was burrowed under blankets on the couch, clearly having no intention of moving.
“Nah, I think we’re good,” Tessa winked at her before plopping down next to her and getting under the blankets. “Sorry guys. How long have you been here?”
“Just about an hour,” Steph replied, taking her seat back on the loveseat next to Mitch.
“And just enough time for Steph to be kicking all of our asses at this game,” Mitch muttered, looking at his two winning cards to Steph’s seven. 
“Turns out knowing two of the other players well and having the same genitalia as the other makes this a pretty easy game,” Steph shrugged, winking at Tessa. 
“The same genitalia?” Tessa repeated, confused. 
“Girl humour is apparently a thing, according to Mitchell,” Steph rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. 
“It is!” he shouted, as the others laughed. 
They all hung out for a bit longer, just catching up, until Mitch, Steph, and Lydia all started to get up to leave. Tessa got up so she could hug them goodbye, before turning to Lydia. 
“Going to see Miles tonight?” she asked her best friend. 
“Yep,” Lydia started putting on her ankle boots and a jacket. “So, you know, don’t wait up or anything.”
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Auston yelled from his spot on the couch. 
“From what I heard, that doesn’t leave very much to not do, Thighs,” Lydia grinned at him., sending a cheeky wink his way. Tessa’s eyes widened to saucers, before pushing the three laughing loons towards the door. 
“Well on that note,” Tessa blushed, keeping her eyes far away from where Auston sat. “We’ll see everyone later. Drive safe.”
Once everyone was out the door, Tessa waited a beat before turning back to find a smirking Auston. 
“So what exactly have you told Lydia about us?” he admonished. 
Tessa shrugged innocently. 
“Probably no more than you’ve told Mitch,” she replied, knowing it was likely true, before walking back into the living room and moving to straddle him, placing her knees on either side of him, her burgundy sweater dress bunching right below her heat to expose her soft legs to him. Her hands trailed up his arms slowly before fisting in the hair at the back of his head. She pulled him back gently by the hair to place a kiss on his awaiting lips, letting it deepen naturally as they sunk back into the sofa. 
They pulled away after a bit, both breathless. 
“Hi,” she whispered against his lips, opening her eyes to gaze into his. 
“Hi,” he repeated, pecking her on the nose. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Aus,” she shivered as his hands pushed her sweater dress up even further as he explored her thighs and her lower back. She let out a sigh that he caught in his mouth, pulling her back to him so he could ravage her. She let him break their kiss momentarily so he could lift the sweater dress over her head. He gently slid one bra strap down her shoulder, placing light kisses where it used to be. He repeated the action on the other side before moving his hands to cup her bra-clad breasts and push them even closer together. He stared up at her as he placed another kiss in the valley of her breasts. She held his gaze and when he pulled away, she pulled his face up to hers to reconnect their lips, all passion and fire, and urgency. He unclasped the bra, removing it from her body completely.
Keeping their lips connected, Auston went to lay them down but was met with resistance. He pulled away from her, confused. “You okay?” he asked softly, massaging her lower back. 
Tessa’s breath caught in her throat. She had been ready for this moment for a while, but the timing just never seemed to work out. With Lydia out of the apartment and the desire she was feeling deep into her bones, she knew this was it. She leaned forward and placed a much softer kiss on his neck, just under his ear.
“I’m ready,” she whispered. 
Auston felt every hair on his body stand up at her words. He pulled away from her to search her face, to make sure she was certain. 
“Tess, are you sure?” he whispered back. He had been ready since the first time they kissed, but he never wanted to push her or make her feel like he wouldn’t be happy to wait for her. 
“More than sure,” she replied. She removed herself from his lap, looking down to see him straining in his black sweatpants. Definitely sure, she thought. She reached down to grab his hand, pulling him to his feet and guiding him to her bedroom. He watched his girl walk in only a black thong and knew he would have followed her anywhere. 
When they reached the edge of her bed, she turned back to face him. Standing up on her tip-toes, she placed a trail of kisses along his neck, stopping to bite softly just under his ear, eliciting a throaty groan from him. Jackpot. 
Before she could reach his lips, she reached for the hem of his sweatshirt and lifted it over his head. He leaned forward to pull her into a kiss, but she pulled back before they could connect. She shook her head at his questioning stare before reaching for the hem of his sweats and pulling them down his legs, sinking herself to the ground with them. When she gazed back up at him, he felt another groan in the base of his throat. 
“Tess, you don’t have to,” he started, but she was already pulling down his Calvins and taking him into her mouth. She gave him a few sucks before kissing the tip. It definitely wasn’t the first blowjob she had given him, as they had become very familiar with each other’s bodies recently, but he always wanted her to feel like it was her choice and not his expectation. She gazed up at him, tugging as she did. He let out a deep moan, his eyes fluttering closed. When he opened them again, she was still watching him, her bottom lip tucked under her teeth. “Do not look at me like that right now,” he tried to sound assertive but his voice was strangled. 
“Like what?” she replied innocently, before sending him a cheeky wink and taking him in her mouth again. His hand went to the back of her head, not applying pressure, but just needing to touch her somewhere and ground himself. He willed himself not to lose it right there. He pulled away suddenly, pulling her by her elbows up to a standing position. She merely looked at him curiously, as if she didn’t know the effect she was having on him. 
“I’d really like to last so I can at least feel what it’s like to be inside you tonight,” he laughed haughtily. He pulled her in for another searing kiss, his hands tangled in her hair as hers gripped his ass cheeks. He gently guided her onto the bed, watching as she used her elbows to shimmy further up the bed until her head hit her pillows. He started to climb over her, stopping to hook his fingers under the only remaining material between them, slowly pulling it down her legs and tossing it to the side. He kissed up one of her smooth legs before reaching her heat and stopping. She knew what she was in for, and while she was also craving the feeling of him inside her, she wanted them to take their time tonight. She shivered as he placed featherlight kisses on the insides of her thighs and her hipbones. He hooked his arms under her thighs, sliding her down closer to him to place a long, warm lick on the centre of her heat. 
Tessa bit back a moan as he did it again and again, before settling there, his fingers and tongue going in and out in a way that made her stomach clench. She didn’t think either of them would last very long tonight. “Aus, I’m close,” she stuttered out. “Maybe we should just-”
But he kept going. He wasn’t certain he would last once he felt her around him, so he wanted to make sure he got her off first. He could feel her getting wetter, her lower body trying to lift off the bed as he held her down by her hips. He could feel her trying to hold it in. 
“Let go, baby,” he urged. “I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.” He pumped two fingers in and out, watching as she came undone in front of him, one of his absolute favourite sights. When she had relaxed slightly, he climbed up and settled himself between her legs, their hips touching. He circled her head with his arms, placing gentle kisses all over her face as she continued to come down from her high. 
She directed his lips to hers so she could taste herself on him. They kissed languidly for a bit before it turned passionate again, Tessa feeling Auston pressed up against her lower stomach. “I want you,” she whispered. 
“I want you so bad, baby,” he replied eagerly. “Do you have a condom?”
She nodded towards her nightstand, watching as he reached over before opening the packet and sliding the condom on himself. She was on the pill and had been for years so she knew it protected her that way. They had both also discussed getting tested to make sure they were clean, which they were. But part of her still wanted that extra precaution, and she was happy Auston did too. She figured eventually they’d probably stop using them, but for now, it made sense. 
Auston lined himself up at her entrance, feeling her thighs tighten around his hips. “Are you sure?”
Tessa nodded. It had been a while since she had sex and Auston was fairly large, so she felt a little nervous about potentially feeling any pain. 
Auston rubbed her again with his fingers, making sure she felt ready so she’d feel minimal pain. “You have to say it, Tess.”
“Yes,” she moaned, his fingers making her wet again and stretching her slightly in preparation. “Yes. I want this. I want you.”
Auston nodded, lining himself up again. As he slowly pushed inside her, he watched her face for any sign of pain. Not seeing any, he pushed deeper, leaning down to take her mouth in his, letting her adjust to his size. When she reached down to squeeze his ass and push him further, he knew he could start moving. 
They moved together, kissing everywhere they could get their lips to reach, touching everywhere their hands could go. They found a rhythm for a while, Auston lasting longer than he had expected when Tessa felt a familiar clench in her abdomen. “Aus,” she moaned, “Aus, I’m so close.”
“Me too, baby,” he grunted against her neck, “me too.”
A few more thrusts and Tessa could feel herself letting go, unraveling around him. Her orgasm pushed Auston to his, the clenching too much for him, his high reaching as quickly as hers was coming down. When he finished, he dropped his sweaty body on hers, careful not to crush her. They laid like that for a while before he leaned up, placed a kiss on her lips, and eased himself out of her. He walked into the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a warm washcloth. Tessa hissed as he cleaned her up, feeling overly sensitive after her second orgasm of the night. He tossed the washcloth in her hamper before climbing under the blanket and wrapping her up in his arms. Tessa laid her head on his chest, finding the rhythm of his heartbeat to soothe the rapid pounding of her own. 
“Tess,” Auston broke the comfortable silence, trailing the tips of his fingers up and down her bare back. 
“Mm?” she replied, already starting to doze off. 
“You’re amazing, you know that?” he whispered, nudging her head with his nose. “I don’t think I tell you that enough, and it’s not just because of tonight.”
“You’re pretty amazing yourself, baby,” she kissed his chest before letting out a yawn. 
“Thanks for taking a chance on me,” he kissed the top of her head one more time before curling his body into hers so they were embracing, her face smushed into his chest, her arms tucked together as he wrapped his around her whole body. 
They drifted into a peaceful sleep in each other’s arms. 
Until they woke up in the middle of the night eager for another round. 
When the sun finally came up, they were exhausted, both mentally and physically, but it was worth it. They could hardly keep the grins off their faces and hands and lips off each other as they moved throughout her kitchen to make breakfast together, sneaking kisses here and there. 
And when they got a little too heated and their eggs burned, they simply tossed them in the trash before running off to her bedroom pulling off articles of clothing as they went, breakfast long forgotten. 
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trashforhockeyguys · 5 years
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Wholeheartedly /14/ Auston Matthews
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After a long cold shower, and an even longer time spent trying not to throw up, you stood in front of the large floor length mirror in your bathroom. Auston was just starting to wake up when you got out of the shower, but hadn’t woken up enough to the point of getting out of bed. You glanced over at him, still sprawled out across the bed, clutching your pillow. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight. There was almost nothing that you loved more than waking up to him by your side.  Even after all these years, you had trouble realizing that this was all real and you wouldn’t wake up and find it to be a dream.
 “This is a good way to wake up,” Auston said, voice still incredibly raspy from sleep.
 You smiled and looked over at him. His hair looked fluffy and was sticking up all over the place. Your little laugh was enough for Auston to lazily ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to get it to settle down. He slowly pushed himself out of bed and made his way over to you. His chest was solid and warm against your back as he pulled you closer to him.
 He leaned down and lightly kissed your neck, “How are we doing today? Is our littlest troublemaker acting up again?”
 His hands moved to cover your own, that were still resting on your stomach, “Nothing a nice cold shower couldn’t fix,” You promised.
 He smiled at you, studying you in the mirror, “Look,” He hummed, moving his hands.
 You eyed him carefully through the mirror, but angled your body just enough to see what he was so obviously seeing. Your stomach had the smallest round appearance to it. You realized, rather quickly, that you were now past the point of just merely looking bloated. It was a small bump, but it was there, with a promise that you were just one day closer to having your little baby in your arms.
 “Of course, you’d be the one who would notice,” You almost laughed, still unable to look away.
 He moved his hand so that it was directly on the little swell of your stomach. You leaned back against him, resting your head against his chest. You couldn’t help but just close your eyes and listen to the sound of his heartbeat. The house was still silent, thanks to the fact that neither your boys or your brother had woken up yet.
 It seemed to be becoming increasingly rare that you and Auston would get a few moments alone in the morning or throughout the course of the day. You knew that it would only get worse as the hockey season drew closer. You were trying to enjoy the semi calm while it still lasted. You knew that once the season started, it would be full speed ahead until the season ended and summer came back around.
 “I guess it’s a good thing I have a lot of loose fitting clothing in my closet,” You sighed, “B’s party is still almost two weeks away, and a lot can change before then.”
 “Well, no one said our plan of telling everyone then was set in stone,” He softly reminded you, “If we have to adapt accordingly, then we will. Simple as that.”
 “We have to tell the boys first,” You almost whispered.
 “That should be interesting,” Auston laughed, “But I’m sure we’ll manage.”
 You heard footsteps, too heavy and loud to be either of the boys, walking down the stairs. Sighing, you turned around in Auston’s arms to face him. A big part of you wished Lucas would’ve slept for at least another twenty minutes, because now you felt the need to go downstairs and make breakfast. The boys would surely wake up soon, and would undoubtedly come find you, no matter where you were in the house.
 Auston kissed your forehead before resting his chin on top of your head. Just a few more moments, you told yourself. You wanted to stay like that just a little while longer. Maybe you could just stay like that just a little while longer. Reluctantly though, you pulled away from Auston but not far enough away to the point that his arms were no longer around you.
 “I should go start breakfast,” You sighed.
 “Or we could stay like this for a while,” He suggested.
 “They will come find us,” You reminded him, “You know Jakey gets moody when he doesn’t get his breakfast, and he gets that from his Uncle Luke.”
 He sighed and let you go, “Fine. I’ll be down in a few minutes to help.”
 You pulled him down enough to kiss him, allowing yourself a few more moments to just be close to him without two little boys trying to get in-between the two of you.  Sighing, you finally pulled away, taking a few steps towards the bedroom.
“Do you mind if I take one of your old shirts?” You questioned.
 “You’ll just take it anyway,” He shrugged, “My old Lions shirt is in the bottom drawer. I know you like that one.”
 You couldn’t help but smile and make my way towards the dresser. Just as promised, his old Lions shirt was in the bottom drawer, worn well past the point of softness. When the two of you were still just dating, you’d taken it from him, with little to no remorse. For all intents and purposes, it’s been your shirt ever since.
 “I’m just going to take a quick shower,” He informed you, “And then I’ll be down.”
 You kicked the bathroom door shut as you walked passed it. You pulled the shirt on over your head and quickly grabbed a pair of sweatpants and began to make your way downstairs. As you slowly made your way down the steps, you pulled your hair up to get it out of your face.
 Lucas was sitting at the kitchen island, sipping on a cup of coffee. He was wearing his old high school team sweatshirt, “I made coffee.”
 “Not supposed to drink it, dumbass,” You laughed.
 “Shit. I saw decaf, I think?” He offered.
 “It’s fine Luke,” You promised, “Do you want some eggs?”
He nodded and chugged the rest of his coffee before hopping up to get another cup. Meanwhile, you started to get everything out to make the eggs for everyone. You could feel Lucas watching you rather carefully. He didn’t say anything, nor did he move from his seat, but it was hard to miss the way that his eyes followed you around the kitchen.
 You didn’t question him though, he always seemed to do that. Him and Peter both. Almost like they’d both be ready to leap into action to protect you from whatever might come your way. But this wasn’t so much a protective thing, so much as it seemed curious. Because every time you turned to glance back at him, he was more than relaxed and almost seemed in awe in a way.
 “What’s it like?” He finally asked you.
“What’s what like?” You questioned, turning to look at him.
 “The whole,” He stopped and made an odd motion around his stomach, obviously trying to indicate a belly.
 “You can say pregnant, Lucas. It’s okay,” You laughed, turning back to stir the eggs, “Why are you asking though?”
 He hopped off his stool, and walked around to hop into the counter next to you. Something that normally you’d be yelling at him for, afraid it would teach your boys bad habits, since they normally tried to take after their uncles. They already, somehow, had a lot of the same mannerisms as your brothers, it almost made you laugh some days.
 “I don’t know,” He shrugged, “I mean, I hope that one day I’ll get the chance to be a father and all. But mainly, I’ve just kind of always wondered what it was like.”
 You thought for a second while you scooped the eggs out of the pan and onto two plates, “It’s scary. Pretty damn amazing too, but really scary.”
 “Why is it scary?”
 “Because so many things could go wrong, with the baby and me,” You simply replied, “And I’ve never had to move like this when I was pregnant, nor have I started the season while pregnant. Stress is bad, and the beginning of the hockey season is always the most stressful time. Between Auston being gone so much, and trying to get the boys settled in Toronto again. To be honest, I don’t know how I’m going to do it. Especially since you aren’t going to be there, and Peter will be coaching, Riks will be at school, and mom and dad are hours away.”
 “You’re like a fucking Wonder Woman, Y/N,” He laughed, “Give yourself some credit here.”
 “Wonder Woman wasn’t pregnant,” You reminded him.
 “Actually, Gal Gadot was,” He pointed out.
 You smiled and shoved him slightly. He grinned and jumped down from the counter before going to the fridge to grab juice out for the boys. A few minutes later, B came down, still looking extremely sleepy. He carefully pulled himself up onto the stool next to where Lucas had once again sat down.
“Still sleepy bubby?” You asked him.
 “Mmhmm,” He mumbled, “Jakey rolled over and hit me in the face with his Carlton.”
 “I’m sorry baby,” You tried not to laugh, “Do you want some eggs and some juice? Would that make it better?”
 He nodded slowly, giving you a rather pitiful look. Lucas cracked a smile and ran his hand through B’s hair and kissed the side of his head. Brian, who up until that moment seemed fine with sitting on his own chair, then started to awkwardly climb over to Lucas, before your little brother gave up and hauled your son into his lap. B just seemed to sigh happily and lean back against Luke, something he’d done with both of your brothers since he was a baby.
 You weren’t sure if it was the overload of hormones, or if it was just because the moment itself was so sweet, but seeing your son with his little head tucked under Lucas’s chin with Lucas’s arms wrapped tightly around B’s little body, made you want to cry. In fact, you did start to cry. Completely unable to stop the tears that decided to start falling, you quickly turned around and started to try and act like you were fixing something. You jumped when arms wrapped around your waist a few minutes later, too caught up in trying to calm yourself down to have heard Auston come downstairs.
 His hair was still wet as he nuzzled his head into your neck, placing a few soft kisses there before pulling away. He leaned over just a bit more to see your face, and almost instantly you could see the worry flash in his eyes.
 “You okay?” He whispered.
 You smiled, feeling rather embarrassed, “It’s the stupid pregnancy hormones. I’m fine.”
 He laughed and kissed your cheek before pulling away from you. You turned off the stove top and watched him lift Jakey, who was still more than half asleep, into the chair next to Luke and B. Jakey just groaned and leaned forward to rest his head on the counter, but not before deciding to use his little Carlton as a pillow.
 “Morning,” Lucas mumbled, “Oh by the way, I’m going to go hang with some of my old teammates in Vegas for a few days, if that’s cool with you sis.”
 “I don’t care what you do,” You shrugged, “Well, I mean I do care, but you’re an adult. Just be back by the time mom and dad fly in next week. I don’t want to explain why you disappeared and where you went.”
“You got it boss,” He joked.
 Lucas packed up and left around lunch, just before both boys went down for their short afternoon nap. You decided to take the opportunity to take an extremely short catnap. You’d ended up practically begging Auston to just climb in the bed with you and hold you. However, it didn’t take much convincing because he would do practically anything for you while you were pregnant. Plus, he never turned down the opportunity to cuddle, even if it was just for a few minutes.
 Less than an hour later, the boys were back up and ready to go. You could never understand how kids had that much energy, or how you ever had that much energy. You wished you could drink caffeine, because you needed it now more than you used to. You’d forgotten just how draining being pregnant was. You were starting to get up when Auston gently pulled you back down onto the bed.
 “Stay, sleep a little more,” He softly told you, “I got the boys.”
 You rolled over and looked up at him, “I love you.”
 He smiled and quickly kissed you before getting out of bed and disappearing down the hall. You heard him take the boys outside, followed by the sound of hockey sticks slamming. You smiled and pulled the covers up higher. Outside, you could hear Auston talking to the boys about how to hold their sticks right. You hoped that one day, many many years from now, when he’d retired from the NHL, he would decide to coach. He was great with kids and teaching them how to play. He loved getting to do clinics here and there during the summer and during the season if he had time.
 You laid on your back, staring up at the ceiling for a while. You were just about to drift off when you felt the slightest movement in your stomach. Had this been your first pregnancy, you would’ve passed it off, not even daring to think twice about it. You would’ve blamed it on gas or digestion. But you knew better now. Your eyes watered again as you placed a hand directly over where you felt it move.
 “Hi there my littlest one,” You whispered, “I can’t wait to meet you.”
 You waited, knowing that the chances of feeling the still tiny baby move again were slim to none. Neither one of the boys were extremely active until midway through the second trimester, and by that point they did nothing but kick you all of the time. Not that you minded, every kick meant that they were fine. Not to mention pretty strong.
 You didn’t get back out of bed for another hour, only dozing off for short time. However, you felt a lot better after being able to just relax. The boys were still outside, only now B and Jake were playing on the playset they’d gotten last summer. Auston was somehow managing to push both boys on the swings with little no to difficulty.
 You stayed near the back door, trying not to interrupt their time together. Summer was always the time that Auston could spend with the boys. Sometimes he’d take them on little day trips to random places just so the three of them could have a day together. You knew it was hard on him to be away so much during the season, as much as he loved the road trips, he also hated them because it meant being away from his boys.
 “Higher daddy!”
 You fought a laugh as you watched Auston begin to struggle to push both boys higher. Jakey squeals and starts to kick his legs back and forth. You were pretty sure that if he wasn’t careful, he’d end up kicking Auston in the gut. But you could do nothing but watch all three of your boys smiling, so big and bright you were sure the sun wouldn’t be needed in your backyard.
 “Mama!” B cheered as he jumped off his swing and came running over to you.
 “Hey, what did we tell you about jumping off the swing,” You scolded him.
 “That I shouldn’t do it,” B mumbled.
 “Mama I’m hungry,” Jakey pipped in, still being pushed on the swing by Auston. 
 “Alright, c’mon,” You sighed opening the back door again, “I’ll make some snacks, and then we need to talk to you two about something.”
 Auston tugged on the chains of the swing to stop it so Jakey could hop off. The second his feet hit the ground he took off running inside and towards the kitchen.  Brian was quick to follow his little brother, yelling that he should get the snacks first because he was older. However, that caused Jake to once again whack B with his stuffed Carlton. Before you could even get inside to stop them, they’d both run to the living room and started to throw various cushions at each other.
 You sighed and put both hands on your stomach before looking over at Auston, “Lord help this baby.”
 “They’ll be great big brothers,” He told you.
 You pulled him inside with you, telling him he needed to get the boys to calm down while you fixed their snacks. You were getting ready to ask what they wanted when they both started shouting the same thing, which only made you laugh. Although they were both pretty picky, unlike their father, at least they both had the tendency to like the same foods.  
 Less than ten minutes later, the boys were happily chowing down on apple slices with slices of cheese melted on top. Auston used to make fun of you years ago when you used to make the snack for yourself, until you forced him to try it. You’d craved apples and cheese when you were pregnant with both of the boys, it was almost comical just how much of it you ate. So, it only seemed right that both boys liked it.
“Okay, now that you guys have your snacks,” You stated, “Dadda and I need to talk to you guys.”
“He did it!” They simultaneously said, pointing to the other.
 “No, you guys aren’t in trouble,” Auston laughed, “Mama and I have some news, that’s all.”
 Both boys relaxed into their chairs upon realizing they weren’t in any trouble. You grabbed Auston’s hand. You two hadn’t really figured out how you were going to tell them. However, you both knew that you needed to tell them today. Because you weren’t sure how much longer you could wait. Ema and Brian were coming over for dinner on Tuesday, and your family was flying in on Sunday for B’s party. 
 “How do you two feel about being big brothers?” You questioned.
 “But I already am a big brother!” Brian protested, pointing to Jakey.
 “But what if you both were?” Auston questioned.
 “What do you mean daddy?” Jakey asked.
 “Well, mama is going to have another baby,” Auston told them softly.
 “Another baby?” Jake mumbled.
 You nodded and walked over to Jake, “You’re going to have a little brother or sister soon.”
 He looked around, obviously very confused, “Where is the baby?”
 You laughed and put your hands just below and above your stomach, smoothing the shirt down so your little bump was visible, “Right here in my tummy.”
 “Did you eat it?” Brian suddenly looked really scared.
 “No,” You quickly replied, “But it needs to stay in my tummy so it can grow.”
 Brian at you and then over at Auston. Jake on the other hand slowly reached his hand out and poked your stomach before quickly pulling his hand away. You smiled at your baby boy as a big grin broke out across his face. He giggled and looked back at Auston who had a massive grin on his face.
 “How long is it in there?” Jakey asked you.
 “A few more months,” You told him, “The baby has to grow some more before you can meet it.”
 “Is it a boy or a girl?” Brian asked.
 “We don’t know yet Bub,” Auston explained, “But we’ll know soon.”
 “I want a sister!” Brian almost yelled.
 You laughed and kissed the top of his head, “I want a girl too.”
 “I’m really gonna be a big brother?” Jakey asked again.
 “Yeah, you are little man,” You replied.
 He squealed and threw his arms around you, basically jumping onto you. Brian jumped off his chair and ran around to hug you. They were both laughing as the hugged you and practically tackled you to the floor. Auston joined the three of you on the floor. The four of you stayed like that for what felt like forever. The boys started asking a lot of questions, like if the baby could hear or feel them yet.
 As you all sat on the couch together, watching cartoons after dinner, your boys on either side of you and Auston as always, you felt the movement in your stomach again. You always described them to Auston as little flutters, because that was the closest thing you could think of. Like actual butterflies moving around. You glanced down at Auston’s hand, which was covering half of your stomach, and covered it with your own. You’d tell him about it later, so you wouldn’t over excite the boys and make them think they could feel the baby.
 But as you looked at the boys, your heart could do nothing but swell at the thought that come this time next year, there would be five of you on this couch.
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baevillier · 4 years
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Finally finished answering everything in my inbox, so send some requests in please :)
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When Love Walks In - Chpt 21
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Chpt 21 – Auston gets his catheter removed, eats and stands up.  Dr Quinn breaks down.
Words 5414  (Long Chapter but Good One!)
Auston quickly erases his writing board as he sees Dr Quinn approach the foot of his bed.
“Well hello there, Alex. Are you going to hang around for the procedures?”  Dr Quinn asks.
“Hi, Dr Quinn. Yeah.  I thought I would”, Alex answers.
“Great!  And, hello to you Auston!  I just heard from Jacqui, that you had a choking episode this morning. You okay now?”  She looks at Auston with a concerned and caring expression.
Auston smiles and nods yes.
“I’m glad.  I understand you got upset about something. If you’d like we can discuss it later during our chat at one o’clock”, Dr Quinn suggests.  
Alex and Auston look at each other and smile, knowing they are thinking the same thing, Thanks but that can’t happen cause it was about you.
Dr Quinn observes the exchange.  Feeling like an outsider on an inside joke, she asks, “What?   Is there something I should know?”
Alex plots, “No.  I’d been working on sorting through Auston’s text messages, and I let him know that two women he has dated have been texting him wanting to get back together with him.  We were discussing that issue.  But it’s all good now.”  Alex turns to Auston, who looks confused.  She winks without Dr Quinn seeing.
Auston catches on to what Alex is doing and isn’t happy about it.  Frig!  If Quinn thinks I’m going back with some other woman, she’ll charge full steam ahead for McDreamy!  Not smart Alex!
Dr Quinn is surprised that her body has reacted to this news.  Her stomach sinks at the thought of Auston’s attention going to another woman. Her blood runs cold for a few seconds as an image of him having fun with someone else flashes across her mind. She relishes Auston’s attention. She gets butterflies when she wakes in the morning, knowing she’ll get to see him;  see him smile at her; watch his face light up when he sees her enter his room; watch him make silly faces at her;  witness him teasing her.  She feels better when she’s around him; like a flower receiving sunlight.  If she’s honest with herself, she’s very attracted to him and enjoys his personality.  He’s very charming.  But she can’t be honest with herself, so she’s been distracting herself when these thoughts cross her mind.  She’s starting to recognize that these thoughts are not as easy to block as they were earlier on.  As each day passes, they are getting stronger.  In fact, her body has got into the act now by reacting, and that is even more difficult to assuage.
“Okay.  Well, I’m glad to hear”, Dr Quinn lies trying to push past her jealous thoughts.
What does ‘all good now’ even mean?  She asks herself.  Is he going to be seeing someone now?  Is he taken now?  Shit!  No!  Stop it, Quinn!  You can’t even date him.  He’s your patient!  Plus you’re dating Scott!  So stop it! Now!
“I managed my congestion. It was close, but I didn’t need suctioning!”  Auston writes, proud of himself.
After waiting a moment for Quinn’s response, Auston motions to Alex for her reaction to the fact that Dr Quinn is staring off in a daze.
Alex smiles at Auston, confirming she sees it too.  
If Alex’s ploy was successful then she’s probably wondering if I’m committed to another woman, Auston thinks.  If so, how’s she going to react?
Alex pulls Dr Quinn from her trance by calling for her attention, “Dr Quinn?”
“Ah…Yeah?  Yes?”  Dr Quinn startles, looking up at Alex.
“Auston wrote something on his board for you to read.”
Dr Quinn reads it and responds, “Oh, yes.  I heard that you did that Auston. Very glad to hear, especially so early in the week.  Good job, Auston!”
Neither Auston or Alex know how to read Dr Quinn’s take on the situation.
Nurse Jacqui and Nancy, another nurse, enter the room.
As Jacqui pulls the curtains to surround Auston’s bed, Dr Quinn announces, “Oh, Auston and Alex, you, of course, know Jacqui, but you haven’t yet met Nancy.  Nancy is a nurse that specializes in catheters.  She’s going to be removing yours with Jacqui as a chaperone, for lack of a better term.  A local numbing agent will be used so you shouldn’t feel any pain.  As Dr Quinn is speaking she realizes Auston is just remembering that these two women are going to have to look and touch his penis to do the procedure.”
Alex and Auston nod their hellos to Nancy.  Auston looks mortified.
Not wanting to watch Auston get any more uncomfortable than he already is, Dr Quinn announces, “Alex, how about you and I step outside the curtain and give Auston some privacy.” 
Dr Quinn can barely stop herself from smiling or stifle her laughter as she glances up to wave goodbye to Auston and sees him mouth ‘Help!’ to her as she starts to walk through to the other side of the curtain.
“You don’t have to ask me twice.  Yuck!” Alex gags as she also pushes hastily through to the outside of the curtain.  Dr Quinn and Alex walk over to look out of Auston’s window to the traffic and people below, coming and going about their business.  Both women are trying to compose themselves quietly after witnessing Auston’s amusing look of terror.
Once Auston’s catheter is removed, Jacqui pulls the curtains open and explains to Auston what he can expect and asks for him to let the staff know if he encounters any pain, discomfort or blood in the next few days.  She tells him that he will now be using the washroom or pee container, so he is to let the nurses on duty know if he needs them to help him get to the washroom by pressing his buzzer.
Jacqui and Nancy both leave the room to wash up.
Dr Quinn and Alex walk meekly to Auston’s bedside and can barely contain themselves as Auston looks at them with a horrified face.
“I trust all went well, Auston”,  Dr Quinn braves the question, smiling.
Auston stares at Quinn with his mouth hanging ajar.  Then he mouths, ‘wow’ followed by ‘fuck!’  Then he grabs his board and writes “You’re both dead to me!” and adds an emoji giving the eff u salute.
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Dr Quinn mouths back ‘sorry, so sorry’.  But Auston can tell by her restrained smile that she’s clearly enjoying his embarrassment.
When Auston looks at Alex she pleads, “Hey!  I had nothing to do with it!”
Jacqui and Nancy return, ready for the next procedure.  
“Okay, Thank you, Nancy and Jacqui.  Are you going to remove Auston’s intravenous line while you’re here?  If you have to go, Nancy, I can do it with Jacqui.”
“I’m happy to do it”, Nancy says as she and Jacqui attend to removing the intravenous line from Auston’s arm.
“Bet you’re glad to have those things out, Auston?”  Alex asks, trying to cheer Auston.
Auston ignores Alex. Once the intravenous line is out, he mouths “thank you” to both nurses.
“Pleasure” they both respond as they tidy up and leave Dr Quinn and Alex alone with Auston.
When Dr Quinn and Alex know that the nurses are out of earshot, they burst out laughing into their arms trying to be quiet.
“Wow!”  “Simply Wow!”  Auston writes on his board which makes the women laugh even more.
Dr Quinn gets herself together and cheers, trying to be professional, “Great job, Auston! Those two things removed are significant steps!”  
“Yeah, it feels great!” Auston writes, with a serious face.
“Really?”  Dr Quinn asks, surprised.
“No!  My ‘yoo hoo’ is burning!  … Whoops...Sorry”,  Auston writes blushing and smirking.
“OMG!  Auston!  Oh, hell! I’m already scarred for life after sorting through your cell phone, so whatever.”
Dr Quinn laughs at Alex and Auston.  “Brothers are fun, aren’t they Alex?”
“Oh yeah.  I told Auston I’m retiring from being his sister, but he won’t accept my letter of resignation.”
They both look at Auston as he writes, “Hey!  Have some sympathy for the poor guy in the hospital bed with a sore Willie, will ya!” He adds a drawing of one sad and one pained emoji.
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“Augh!!!”  Alex gasps upon seeing the emoji.
“Oh, dear!  Here we go again.”  Dr Quinn shakes her head trying not to laugh at the ridiculous images. “Auston!”  She scolds in fun.
“Do you have siblings, Dr Quinn?”  Alex asks.
“Yes, I have an older brother.  So I know your pain, Alex.  They’re gross aren’t they?”  Dr Quinn teases.
“Hey!  Yoo Hoo!  I’m sitting right here, ya know!  I might not be able to talk, but I can hear perfectly fine!” Auston writes, pretending to be offended.  He draws an emoji waving.
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Dr Quinn and Alex laugh at Auston and his emoji.
“Oh Auston, you’re such a goof!  We need to get some water in you to get your system flushed out.  The Speech Therapist should be here in a few minutes to do that”, Dr Quinn tells him with affection in her voice.
“If you feel burning, I can have Jacqui put some more numbing …”  Dr Quinn can’t even get out her whole sentence before Auston writes, “Noooo Thank You!”
Dr Quinn and Alex start laughing again.
“You sure about tha…?” Dr Quinn asks teasing.
“Yessssssss!  Very sure.”  Auston writes, smiling back.
“Can you please be so kind as to give me the heads up if anyone else needs to look at my penis today?” Auston writes.
Dr Quinn laughs.  “Auston, how did you think they were going to remove your catheter?  Without anyone seeing or touching you?”  Dr Quinn playfully challenges.
“Yeah, did you think they were just going to pull it out from behind a sheet?  Like a magician?”  Alex chimes.
Auston writes, huffing, “Yeah, Alex cause everyone’s seen, catheter magicians! No!  I just got mixed up.  I confused a catheter with an intravenous.  All I’ve been thinking about today is getting to eat real food again. So sue me!”
Alex jumps in dryly, “Well let's just be glad you’re not the doctor then, cause imagine Auston putting an intravenous in a patient’s penis to feed them?!”
“Oh my goodness, Alex!  Stop!  I’m gonna bust a gut!” Dr Quinn begs.
“Or imagine Auston placing a catheter in a patient’s arm to get urine!”  Alex can’t help herself.
Auston puts on his glasses and draws an emoji with glasses and buck teeth to push Dr Quinn further over the edge.
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Dr Quinn sees Auston’s now wearing his glasses and then she notices his emoji.  She thinks he’s drawn a take on himself as a geeky doctor who doesn't know the difference between a catheter and an intravenous and she’s losing it over by the window where she’s trying to get a grip on herself.  
Auston and Alex see Dr Quinn’s shoulders going up and down, and it’s making them hysterical.  Auston has tears rolling down his face just watching her.
Auston loves how Quinn reacts to him when he’s silly.  She’s so cute.  He wishes he could pull her to his lap and tickle her.
Melanie, the Speech Therapist, enters the room with a cart of supplies.  She introduces herself to Auston and Alex and then says hello to Dr Quinn. They all take a moment to compose themselves as Dr Quinn explains that they were just laughing about something silly.
Melanie takes a few minutes to explain what Auston should expect as he re-starts eating and asks him how he’s feeling.
“Looking forward to eating real food again.  Bring on the steak!”,  Auston jokes.
“Ha!  Sorry.  It’s far from steak my friend.  But glad to see you have an appetite because many patients lose their appetite after being on intravenous for a while. We’ll have you start off slow with small amounts of blended and pureed foods. We’ll get you practicing swallowing; get your coordination back. But first I need to deflate the cuff of your breathing tube and suction the tube before eating or drinking”, Melanie explains as she preps.
Auston motions to Alex for her to watch the procedure closely.
“Oh, is Alex going to be staying at home with you?”  Dr Quinn asks.
“Probably”, Alex answers.
“Okay, so yes, you should watch and ask questions if you have any.”
Melanie completes the cuff deflation and suction.
“Okay, so now we need to have you sit up nice and tall.”
Once Auston is sitting up straight, he is given a cup of water with a straw and instructed to take small sips and swallow them.
After he manages to consume some water, he is given a small protein shake to drink.
He has no trouble getting both down.
“Well, you did great, Auston”, Melanie and Dr Quinn tell him.
Melanie informs Auston that he should drink water throughout the day.  She says she’ll leave the cart with the cooler in the room, in case he gets hungry, and Dr Quinn or the nurse can supervise his drinking and in-between meal sessions. She’ll be back for Auston’s dinnertime meal around 530pm and excuses herself.
Dr Quinn tells Auston, “Well after all that excitement, you can now have a bit of time to relax. Maybe take a quick nap.  Jacqui will come and stay with you to make sure you’re okay over the next half hour.  Alex and I will grab a quick bite to eat, and I’ll update her on what she missed this morning.  We’ll see you at 1230 when Jack gets here for your Physio.  Gonna try to get you standing up.  Oh, and I promise, no one else will be looking at your penis today Auston”, She winks at him and walks out of the room followed by Alex who is laughing her ass off.
Auston shakes his head laughing to himself.  Despite, or maybe because of, (lol), having his penis touched and looked at by two nurses today, Auston is having the best day.  He can’t remember having felt as much joy as he has this morning, ever in his life.  Sure he’s laughed insanely with friends and family, won awards, achieved goals he dreamed of, had incredible moments on the ice, but never has he done anything that brought him such joy while being able to share it with the love of his life. Not until today.
My god, I hope this is a sign of things to come.  If just laughing inanely at dumb things with Quinn brings me this much happiness then imagine sharing other things with her; like making love!  Auston contemplates.
Nurse Jacqui comes in Auston’s room, explains that she’ll let him rest while she reads in a chair off in the corner until he needs to get up at 1230 for his Physio session.
Auston puts on his earbuds and listens to music as he daydreams about how he would love Quinn if and when he ever gets the chance.  It involves a whole lot of tearing off her clothes.  He drifts off to sleep with a smile on his face.
It’s 1230 when Alex and Dr Quinn return to Auston’s room after their quick lunch and briefing. It’s time for Physio, but Auston is asleep.  Dr Quinn walks to Auston’s bedside and lifts his left wrist into her hand and holds it to stir him with the temperature change.  She can’t ignore that it feels incredible to touch him. She savours the tingles that spread all over her body.
Auston isn’t waking up so, Dr Quinn removes his earbuds and whispers quietly to him, “Aussssstoooonnnn ….wake up. Time to wake uuup.”
Alex is smiling to herself, thinking how happy Auston is going to be, waking up to Dr Quinn’s face and gentle voice.
A groggy Auston hears a voice calling out to him from what seems far away.  He slowly comes out of his slumber and realizes whose voice is calling him and that it is nearby.  He smiles before he even opens his eyes.
Dr Quinn sees Auston’s smile and melts a little inside.  He’s so sweet; she thinks as she continues to hold his wrist.
“Hey, Sleepyhead! Wake up!”  She whisper-yells, looking down on him smiling, eyes adoring.
Auston is finally able to open his heavy eyes.  His eyes lock immediately on Dr Quinns; his heart pounds at the sight of her and the realization that she is touching him.  Her hand is warm and electric.  His eyes slide from her eyes to her hand, and then to her lips as she speaks to him. He can’t hear what she’s saying. He’s lost in his thoughts and the urge to pull her to him and crash his lips on hers, his mouth consuming hers in a frenzy.  Is she mine yet?  Can I do that? No! She’s not!  Not yet!  Whoa! He yells at himself.
Dr Quinn lets Auston’s wrist gently slip out of her hand.  “There he is!  Hey!  Hi ‘Bam Bam’!  Sorry to have to wake you but it’s almost time for your Physio.  Jack will be here in a minute.  Can I get you to elevate the head of your bed while you wake up?”
Now that Quinn’s warm hand has let him go, Auston feels his wrist go cold, and he yearns for her touch. He longs for the day when he can hold her hand for as long as he wants.  Auston imagines kissing the top of her hand and caressing it with his thumb, writing messages of love on her palm with his finger, intertwining his fingers slowly with hers; feeling the warmth and softness, sliding in and out of them, neither knowing where one ends and the other begins.
Now, all he can do is take the remote from Dr Quinn and sit himself up. Patience…. patience… patience, he tells himself.
Jack, the Physiotherapist, enters and greets all in the room.  He introduces himself to Alex, who he has never met before.
Before long, Jack has warmed up Auston by putting him through their usual routine stretches. It’s now time to get Auston standing up by himself.  With the help of a walker, Auston is on his feet outside of his bed.  He stands for as long as he can before sitting back down in a chair.  Taking a break in the chair, Dr Quinn gives Auston some water to sip and some pureed food to eat. He swallows both successfully.
After a half-hour of Auston standing up, sitting down, drinking, swallowing food and making his way to the washroom to pee, he is done with Physio and back in bed.
It’s 1 pm.  Alex has left and will return around 530pm.  Dr Quinn and Auston are alone at last for their ‘Friend-Therapy.’
“Where did you get it?” Auston writes, casting his eyes toward the window sill as Dr Quinn settles into her chair next to his bedside.
“Whaa?”  Dr Quinn asks, confused.
“The tiny stick.  By the way, it made me smile.  Very funny!”  He writes and smiles.
“Oh!  Yeah!  Ha! The stick for ‘Auston Cact-thews’. Well, I thought he should have a stick. How else is ‘Auston Cact-thews’ going to be able to get back to playing hockey if he doesn’t have a stick?”  Dr Quinn jokes.
“Ha!  Yes.  Of course. And he loves his new stick.  Where did you get it?”  Auston asks.
“I was shopping for a Lego kit for my nephew, Grayson, for his birthday last week and noticed a small pack which had a hockey player and a stick.  It reminded me of you, and I thought you might like it. I figured it would be funny to just put the stick with the cactus and let you discover it in your own time”, Dr Quinn explains.
“So great!  Thank you!  Very funny!  And I love that you named him!”  Auston writes gushing.
“Oh, I didn’t name him.  That was his name.  He told me”, Dr Quinn tells him.
“Oh, so he talks?” Auston plays along.
“Yes, have you not heard him?”
“Nope.  Has he told you anything else?”
“He has.”
“What?”
“He told me he’s very impressed with you and your recovery.  He knows you’ll be playing in the NHL again.”
“Is that right?  What did you say?”
“I told him I agree 100%.”
“Oh, really.  Why is that?”
“For three reasons:  
(A) Cause you got me intrigued about how good you are at hockey, so I have to watch you play hockey for my home team;  
(2)  For years and years, I was buried in books and studies preparing to save you and had no time to go to a Leafs’ game and see you play, so essentially you owe me;  And
(D) You’re a Goof, and you owe me for putting up with your goofiness.  Exhibit A:  ‘Friend-Therapy’ Inventor.”
“Ha!  Is that right?  BTW, I love how you count”,  Auston writes with a smirk and wink.
“Ha!  Thanks, I learned that from Home Alone, one of my favorite movies.  And yes, that is one of my hopes for you and me, anyway.  Another is your voice”, Dr Quinn tells him.
“Well, I’ll keep that in mind.  They’re my hopes too”,  He says winking.
“Good!  I’m expecting big things from you.” She says playfully.
“Then I better not let you down. Geesh!”  He laughs.
“Neither will I, Auston. I will do everything I can to help you get there.  I wish someone could have done the same for Josh.”
“If you don’t mind talking about Josh, I’d like to know a bit more about him if that’s okay?” Auston writes.
“Sure, Auston.  But may I ask, Why?”
“He seems to have had a huge impact on you.  Your feelings for him were so strong that they led you here, to me.  Because of your feelings for him, you were able to save me and be here for me.  I want to know about him.  What made him so special to you?”  Auston explains.
“I see.  Well, Josh was my first, and as it turns out, only love.”
“Really?  But you’ve dated other guys right?”  Auston asks.
“Yes.  Sure.  But I never loved anyone like I loved Josh.  I think I always compared them to him, and they didn’t stand a chance since he could do no wrong.  In my 17-year-old brain, he was ‘the one’, and I lost him… ‘my one’.”
“What was it that you loved so much about him?”
“Well, he was everything I could have ever wanted in a boyfriend.  I was 16 at the time I met him, and he was 17.  We went to the same high school.  I first noticed him when he performed in a school assembly.  He was funny as hell.  He and his best friend were insanely talented performers; like SNL funny.  In grades eleven and twelve, they put together skits and performed them for our school assemblies.  They would have everyone rolling on the floor laughing.  They made fun of school stuff; you know, relatable stuff.  They were clever in the way they made you see the lighter side of things.  
Josh was also the Quarterback of the school’s football team.  He was up for a scholarship at an American University but needed to get his grade up in math.  I had skipped a grade, so I was in his grade 12 class.  He asked me if I would tutor him.  I jumped at the chance.”
“Not surprised that you skipped a grade.  You’re a Brainiac!”  Auston interjects.
“Thank you, Auston. Oh my goodness, Auston, he and I had so many laughs.  He was always making fun of himself and the mistakes he would make doing math.  We started dating about three weeks into tutoring.”  Dr Quinn is enjoying telling her story about Josh.  Her eyes are dancing, and her face is full of expression.
“Sounds romantic.”  Auston comments.  He loves seeing Quinn so happy.  It reminds him of when he made her so happy earlier.
“Yes.  It was very exciting for sure.  But he had a daredevil side to him as well.  He wasn’t afraid of anything.  He was always looking for a challenge.  And because of that, he is dead”,  Dr Quinn says with emotion caught in her voice.
“I’m so sorry”, Auston writes with sincere sympathy in his eyes.  He can’t stand to see her hurting.  Auston wants to hold her in his arms and tell her that he loves her.  He wants to reassure her that he’ll be what she hoped Josh would be for her.  But he knows he can’t.  Not yet, anyway.
“Thank you.  We only dated for a few months before Josh died, so I was still in the head over heels stage.  It’s extremely difficult to move on with any part of your life when you lose who you believe to be the love of your life, someone you can only remember as being perfect for you.  Josh was the only reason I was able to move on with a career; cause I made it about him”, Dr Quinn explains.
“I get that.”
“How about you Auston? Have you been in love?”
“I thought I was a few times.  But I look back now and see it was just horny infatuation.  Excuse the term”, Auston writes.
“Oh yeah?”  She laughs.  “I’m getting used to your invented terms.”
“Ha! Good.  Since being in the NHL, I’ve needed to have my guard up to protect myself from being used.  At the same time, I understood that it wouldn’t have been fair to ask any woman to enter into a serious relationship with me since I needed to be selfish with my time, to achieve my career goals.  It’s been hard not having a steady girlfriend when most of my teammates have one.  But for me, personally, I could only see problems in having one.  So I just dated casually; some a little longer than others.”
“I see.”
“Well, it kind of backfired in that I have developed a bit of a reputation for being a ‘ladies man’ or ‘playboy’ so to speak”,  Auston feels the need to explain in case she finds out.
“I see.  So you’ve had some backlash?”
“Oh yeah.  I’ve had to put out a few fires to protect my reputation.”
“Did you always let these women know you weren’t in it for keeps?”
“I tried, but all women are different.  Some were fine with it, especially the women who were like me, busy travelling with their careers.  But some led me to believe they were okay with it, appeared busy with their careers, but in the end, they weren’t content with the arrangement and wanted more.  It was difficult for me to tell who was going to be okay with it and who wasn’t.  Also, there were some who I believe were initially only in it for the fun of it, but apparently got swept up in it.  Oh lord, the stories I could tell would fill a book.”
“Oh, is that what you were upset about this morning with Alex?”  Dr Quinn asks.
“Yes, but I really don’t want to discuss it.  It’s being dealt with,”  Auston explains as he watches Dr Quinn closely to see if she is relieved that these women are not going to be part of his life.
Dr Quinn knows Auston is watching her, but her smile betrays her.  She is thrilled that these women mean nothing more to him than fun.
Auston feels hopeful, witnessing her smile.  All I need now is to get past Dr McDreamy, he thinks.
“Well, I’m glad to hear it’s being dealt with as I’m sure that can be very stressful. I hope it all goes smoothly for you.  But since you haven’t achieved your ultimate goal, I suspect you might have a few more fires to put out?”  She asks, trying to get an idea of Auston’s plans for his future.
“You mean Stanley?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh look at you, using hockey lingo!”
Dr Quinn laughs.
“No I haven’t achieved my ‘ultimate career goal’ yet, but since my accident, I have changed and reevaluated.  I have a new ‘ultimate life goal’ that is going to take priority.  I want to be in a committed relationship with someone I love deeply.  What’s most important to me now is having someone in my life who I’m in love with and can share everything.  I imagine that my career successes will feel so much better when I have someone to share them with.”
“Your family shares in your success?”
“Yes, but it is different to share success with your family versus someone you’re in love with.  Don’t get me wrong; it would kill me not to be able to share my success with my family.  They have been with me from the start, they’ve seen the struggle and have shared in all the highs and lows; they also sacrificed for me to achieve success. But at the end of the day, when I win the Stanley Cup, I want to be able to go home with the woman of my dreams who loves me deeply; someone I can share the joy.”
“Wow, Auston.  You’re making me tear up.  I want that for you too”,  Dr Quinn says trying to push away the wish that it could be her.
“Thank you, and I want you to have someone to share your success and joy with too Dr Q”,  Auston writes, wishing he could add that he wants that person to be him.
“Wow!  Well, thank you, Auston.  I want that for me too.” She laughs.
“I agree with you, Auston. It’s very special to share success with family, but it sure would be intimate and less lonely to share it with someone you love deeply”,  Dr Quinn tells him dreamily.
“Do you think you’ll find that with Dr Peters?”  Auston pries.
“Time will tell”, Dr Quinn lies.  Deep down she wants to say no.  She starts to feel sick just thinking about how much she wants to tell Auston that she wants him. This is so hard.  I can’t do this anymore.  I need to leave. I have to get out of here,  She tells herself.
Auston notices something has changed in Quinn.  He watches her closely as she stands up to walk around the room.
“I’m so sorry Auston. I suddenly feel sick.  I need to leave our session early.  Please forgive me.  I need to go home”,  Dr Quinn tells him as she tries to catch her breath and goes pale.
What the hell?!  Come here! Let me see you!  Auston wants to yell to her but he can’t talk.  So he moves to sit with his legs over the side of the bed. He’s going to walk to her so he can check on her and comfort her.
Dr Quinn looks up and sees Auston trying to stand up.
“What?!  Auston!  What are you doing?”  She calls out as she rushes to him.
As soon as Dr Quinn is within arms reach of Auston he grabs her arm and sits back down on the edge of the bed.  He pulls her to him.  He slides his arms around her waist and buries the side of his face into her stomach. He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t stop himself.  He feels like he’s died and gone to heaven as he holds her and inhales her.
Dr Quinn is in shock. She slowly and instinctively puts her arms around Auston’s shoulders and holds him tight.  When she realizes what is happening, she pulls away and places both hands on Auston’s cheeks and crouches down to be face to face with him.
Looking him directly in the eyes she cries, “I can’t Auston!  I’m so sorry!  I just can’t!”  She kisses his forehead and says, “I have to go now.  I promise I’ll come see you tomorrow.  I don’t feel well, but I’ll be okay.  You’re wonderful Auston! Simply Wonderful!  But I must leave right now.”
Auston has hold of her hands that rest on his cheeks.  As she slides her hands away from his face to leave, he tries to hold them for as long as possible. She keeps pulling.  He sees her face is red and wet with tears.  It’s killing him to let her go, but he has no choice.  When she begs “please”, he releases her.
71 notes · View notes
zuucc · 5 years
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petition to make all fan fiction writers write summaries for their stories!! i don’t want to go into a story completely blind, i wanna know if the storyline will interest me
237 notes · View notes
nhlarchived · 6 years
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Part One ~ Part Two ~ Part Three ~ Part Four
Word Count: 2.1k
Fic Type: Series
__________________________________________
You decided not to go out to the beach with everyone else. You weren’t in the mood. It was only two weeks ago you broke up with your boyfriend of two years. The worst part was, you didn’t break up because he cheated, or you got into an argument or anything like that. It was simply because he had moved out to Europe, which you weren’t able to do, and the long distance became intolerable. You tried your hardest to keep the relationship going but couldn’t. You only ended up hurting each other more.
Your best friend Sydney invited you out to her and Matt’s beach house out on the Jersey Shore. You figured it would be the perfect way to get your mind off of things. Besides, you were friends with Matt and all his old Toronto teammates as well, they decided to have one last get together before Matt runs off to New York, so it was a flawless recipe to happiness. The house could fit twelve which promised plenty of distractions from the argument going on in your mind anyway.
However, today the break up was really bothering you. You arrived at their house midafternoon yesterday. Everyone else was planning on arriving the next day so you were able to spend some time alone with Matt and Sydney that night. As wonderful as it was to hang out with your friends alone once more, it reminded you of your past relationship. No matter how much you tried to push it away, you envied the simple things like how they would look at each other or even the caring questions he would ask. You missed being cared for and you were hoping a good night's rest would fix it, but it didn’t.
Everyone else arrived early this morning. Not being able to hold in their excitement, before even unpacking, they all decided to take a quick run to the beach. You opted out due to feeling unwell, deciding to settle in the kitchen. You grabbed a drink from the fridge, resting your forearms on the marble topped island as you watched the waves accompanied by your group of friends busying themselves with either football, tanning, or boogie boarding.
You rested your head into your hand as you continued to watch. A light breeze cooled off the air in the house through the screen door and you closed your eyes with the peaceful sound of the water crashing, allowing the wind to gently blow your hair off your face. You took deep breaths to relax your body and intake the sweet salty aroma. It had been a while since the last time you were at the beach. It was your favorite place to go with your ex, so you tended not to go without him, but you were hoping this trip would change that mindset. However, you couldn’t seem to stop the memories replaying in your head of how much fun the two of you used to have. Almost as if a movie was playing in your mind.
“Is everything okay?” You heard a male voice from beside you. Your head fell off your hand and a loud gasp escaped your mouth. Your heart beat felt like it could be seen out of your chest and if it wasn’t for your arm resting on the marble, you probably would have fell over. At first you believed it was an intruder due to the fact everyone had left for the beach. However, you were theory was proven incorrect when you saw Matt’s ex teammate Auston grabbing a drink from the fridge behind you.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said while trying to hide his giggle. He even left his head facing the inside of the fridge a little longer that way you wouldn’t see the giant amused smirk across his face.
You and Auston knew each other very well due to Syd and Matt. You were from NYC which is how you originally met them, but before Matt was even traded you took up your dream job in Toronto. Once he got traded it was effectively the best day of your life since they were both your best friends.
Auston and Mitch were the first two teammates Matt had introduced you to since they were practically inseparable. You and Auston hit it off immediately. It wasn’t even that you had a lot in common, your personalities just clicked. You became really close friends but due to your boyfriend, you've always kept some distance from Auston since he was very attractive, and you knew he thought the same of you. Everyone said the two of you had a thing for each other, but at the time Auston was with someone as well. So, you mutually decided to only to hang around friends and talk to each other sparsely in respect for your significant others.
There was no denying that there was a spark between you two that you had always ignored, but you figured it would never work out. Even now. Rumor has it Auston left his girl a couple months ago, and even though you’re single as well, you knew it would still take a while to rid your mind of your own ex. Besides, his lifestyle may not be ideal for your liking either. Considering your recent breakup was due to distance, this wouldn’t be much different.
“Other than the heart attack, yes, everything is fine.” You responded holding your hand to your chest. Auston turned around from the fridge, a huge smile still evident on his face revealing his flawless pearly whites. He still had some stubble growing around his mouth and his hair was wet, lying lazily over forehead. You bit your bottom lip in hopes of stopping the possible drool about to escape your mouth from his appearance as his newest addition to his tattoo sleeve peaked out from his T-shirt. God, you were such a sucker for tattoos.
“Somethings wrong why are you crying?” He questioned. You hadn’t noticed it but two tears had escaped your eyes while lost in a trance about you past relationship earlier. You didn’t want Auston to know that was the reasoning, so you quickly had to come up with an excuse.
“Probably because you just scared the hell out of me.” You teased. As you spoke you noticed your voice sounded slightly nasally due to congestion from crying. Before Auston responded he lifted his hand to rest on the side of your cheek. As a reaction you turned towards his body that was adjacent from yours now. He watched you cautiously as he wiped away the tears with his thumb. His eyes studied you carefully as you watched his sympathetic features above you.
“Who hurt you?” He asked, the muscles in his face tightening as he tries to solve his own question in his mind. His hand continued to rest on your cheek and you tried your hardest not to lean into him for comfort. His hand was so warm, and it sat perfectly on your cheek like a pillow. You wanted to give into him. Forget everything about your ex and finally move forth with Auston but it was too soon, and you were aware of that.
“No one Auston. Seriously, I’m fine.” You reassured. Moving your head away from his palm, turning to face out the window once again. Knowing that if you stayed there any longer, you would fall for his touch.
“Listen I may not be a fighter, but I’ll still beat someone’s ass for you.” He admitted. You couldn’t help but let out a breathy chuckle from not only the accusation, but also the thought of it. However, your giggle released another tear onto your cheek followed by a sniffle. You were in such a tough situation. The boy you’ve known and loved for years is now thousands of miles away, and the one who seemed to be your true pairing was standing right in front of you with arms wide open, but you couldn’t get your distractions out of the way. There was no way of hiding it now as you watched Auston stare at you concerned. You knew that it was time to face the truth. Maybe telling someone would help ease the pain.
“Jack and I broke up.” You whispered staring at the counter in front of you. Your lips folded into your mouth as you attempted to prevent a frown. Hoping it’ll keep more water works away from falling. Your hands were resting on the ledge of the island and Auston mimicked your moves adjacent from you.
“Why?” He asked sympathetically. You couldn’t pull yourself to look at him in his face, so you decided to only watch his hands.
“Distance.” Was your short response. You didn’t need to explain. Auston wasn’t foreign to your relationship. He knew the distance was always an issue between the two of you. Hell, you may have told him almost every issue your relationship had. But he also understood how much he meant to you.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized. As if he had anything to apologize over. But you knew he was trying to be nice and supportive.
“No need to be sorry. Let’s just hope it was for the better.” You responded in attempts to stay optimistic. Finally looking him in his eyes and flashing a sincere smile. Yet he watched you with a poker face. You couldn’t tell if it was sympathetic, happy, sad, mad. His emotions were lost as if he was in deep thought over something.
“What are you doing in the house anyway? I thought you went out with everyone.” You questioned in hopes of breaking the awkward silence but also wanting to know why he decided to stay back. His eyes blinked before responding, proving he was daydreaming.  
“I wanted to unpack first knowing I wouldn’t have if I went down there. I was about to head out but then I saw you.” He explained. He bent over the marble resting on his elbow facing you as his head leaned onto his hand indicating he wasn’t leaving until you did.
“Well don’t let me and my sobby attitude stop you.” You admitted lifting your hand to signal out towards your friends on the beach. He gazed out the window for a couple seconds watching them as he pondered what decision he was going to make.
“Come on.” He suggested standing up straight. He turned half his body towards the stairs that led to the exit while holding his hand out for you to take.
“No Aus, it’s fine really. I’m not much of a beach person anyway I just came to hang out with everyone.” You explained shaking your head back in forth to deny him. He was always one to include you in things. He thought everything was more fun with you around but at the moment you really wanted to be alone. Especially since confessing your break up didn’t exactly make you feel better.
“Who said we were going to the beach?” He inquired, opening and closing his palm to emphasize he wanted you to take it. Your head tilted in confusion.
“Didn’t you just say you were about to go out onto the beach until you saw me?” You inquired. Your sight was flicking between his hand and his face that was watching you enthusiastically. He had a plan. You didn’t know what it was, but you knew that expression he was giving.
“I changed my mind. I know somewhere better.” He said widening his eyes attempting to intrigue you. You wanted to. You wanted to so bad. You didn’t even know what was holding you back at this point. You’ve always wanted to get alone with him and now was your time.
“I can see you’re thinking about it too much. Just trust me. Please.” Auston spoke softly. He was right. You had no reason not to trust him either. You wanted a distraction, and this was the perfect one, so you finally pulled yourself together and placed your hand in his.
His face lit up in a large smile. He pulled your hand down to his side and intertwined your fingers to hold hands as he guided you out of the house. You weren’t expecting it, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it. He pulled you quickly, clearly impatient about what he had in store and you couldn’t wait to find out.
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Author’s Note: Let me know if you would like a part two!
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austonm--atthews · 6 years
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my only one // auston matthews
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based off of my only one by all time low
masterlist
chapter 16 monday june 18, 2016 aus’ pov i woke up and looked at my phone on my nightstand to see it was 10am. i rolled onto my left side to see if jack was up. obviously she wasn’t, not that i minded as she still looked beautiful as she slept. we almost always slept in when we could, but i was way too excited for today to sleep much longer. today was jack’s 18th birthday and i had so much planned. first i was going to make her breakfast, then we were going to head to the rink, and then i was going to surprise her with tickets to see her favorite band, state champs. i couldn’t wait any longer, so i rolled over and laid on top of her, my chest to hers, to wake her up. “happy birthday baby!” i squeeze her tight, pressing kisses everywhere. “thanks, but you’re suffocating me, aus.” she breathes out. “shit, sorry baby,” i get off of her and wrap my arms around her from the side, “are you alright?” i ask with concern. “yeah, i’m fine. you’re just 200 pounds and i’m only 125, so you’re pretty heavy compared to me.” she lets out a laugh, which makes my heart flutter. the sound of her laugh has always made my heart flutter. from the moment i met her, it always made me feel a certain kind of happiness that could only be explained by love. 
“you’ve got a point, honey.” i hum, nestling my head in the crook of her neck and pulling her as close to me as possible. “i’ve known you for 13 years now. how insane is that?” she runs her hand through my hair, making me smile against her neck. “i can’t believe i’ve known you for that long. i still feel the same way i always have.” i meet her gaze and flash her a smile. “me too, aus.” she presses a kiss to my forehead. “do you feel any different now that you’re 18?” i look up at her for a response. “not really. i mean, i can get arrested now, so that’s different.” she laughs and looks down to meet my gaze. i burst out laughing, causing me to hold her tighter. “you’re so funny, baby.” i mutter into her neck, cuddling into her once again. “i wasn’t even trying though.” she laughs lightly. “you should be a comedian. you’re just funny.” i smile at her. “aw, you think so?” she asks with a smile. “yeah, you always make me laugh.” “aw, i’m glad i do. we should get up though, it’s almost 11.” she informs me as she looks down to meet my gaze. “yeah, you’re right. i’ll help you up.” i get to my feet and hold my hand out for her to take. “aw, you’re such a gentleman.” she smiles as she gets up to take my hand. “only for you, my love.” i pull her into me, resting my head on hers sideways. “so, do you have any big plans for today?” she mutters against my shirt. “i do, actually. i was thinking of making you breakfast and then we could go to the rink?” i raise an eyebrow, looking down at her. “that sounds great, matts. i really appreciate how you go all out for me, it’s so sweet.” she sends me a genuine smile, making my heart flutter. “it’s hard to not go all out for the cutest girl in the entire world.” i plant a kiss on the top of her head then resting my head on hers. “aw, stop it.” she waves off my compliment. “i’m just speaking the truth.” i shrug with a smile. “i can’t be the cutest girl on the planet, babe. there’s girls that are cuter than me.” she disagrees with my statement, making my heart drop to my stomach. “no, jack. you’re the cutest there is. so many girls would kill to be as cute as you are without even trying.” i say in a whisper. i put my hand on the side of her face and tilt her head up, looking into her eyes. “you really think so?” her eyes sparkle as she looks into mine, a smile dancing across her face. “baby, i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t feel that way. i love you for you. i love how you’re one of the guys. i love how simple and easy going you are. i love how you don’t need to get dressed up. i just, i love you, okay?”   “aw, i love you too, aus. thank you for that.” she looks up at me with a bright smile. “whenever you need me, i’m here for you. always.” i say just above a whisper, smiling as i stare directly into her eyes. “the same goes for you. i’m always here for you.” she buries her head in my chest, tightening her arms around me. “thanks, baby, but we should get downstairs. i gotta make my baby breakfast.” i smile, ruffling her hair a bit. “aw, you’re too sweet.” she scrunches her nose. “i try, baby.” i kiss the top of her head and we leave the room to head down to the kitchen. “this is really nice of you, aus. i really appreciate it.” she smiles as we reach the kitchen. “it’s no problem really. i just want to make sure it’s your best birthday so far. i’m hoping to make the next ones even better.” i smile at her as i walk over to the fridge and get out all the ingredients. “aw, you’re too good to me.” she flashes me a shy smile. “only for you, baby.” i send her a wink as i move to the stove. “how did i ever get so lucky?” she sits on the counter next to the stove and smiles at me. “what do you mean?” i furrow my eyebrows as i look over at her. “you could’ve picked any other girl, but you picked me and i’m so lucky to have you.” she smiles as she looks at me. “no one else was good enough for me.” i shrug. “c’mon, there’s prettier girls than me.” she pushes. “i haven’t seen any.” i look over at her, a smile on my face. “that’s such a lie, but whatever you say i guess.” she shrugs with a laugh. “it’s not a lie. i really don’t find any girl prettier than you.” i look up at her from the stove, a smile spreading across my face. “really?” a smile tugs at her lips. “yes, you’re the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen, baby.” my lips curve up into a smile. “aw, thanks. that means a lot to me, aus.” she says sincerely. “anything for my girl. breakfast is ready by the way.” i lift my eyes from the stove, looking up at her, smiling. “aw, thanks aus.” she starts to move off the counter, but i step in front of her to stop her. “wait, i wanna hug you first.” i put my arms around her, wrapping her in a hug and pulling her closer to my chest. “aw, you’re too cute.” she says against my chest. “thanks, baby.” i smile and help her get down. we sit at the kitchen table and eat, then finish eating and going back up to my room to get ready. “aus, do you mind if i borrow one of your sweatshirts?” jack asks as she pokes her head out of the closet and looks at me sitting on the bed. “no, of course not, babe. take all of them if you want.” i laugh. “nah, i don’t need all of them. i just need one for now since i didn’t bring any with me.” she grabs one i got from zurich and puts it on her arm. “you look way cuter in them than i do though.” i get up and walk over to her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into a bear hug. “no i don’t. you look so cute in your sweatshirts and sweaters.” she leans her head against my chest, then looks up at me. “aw, thanks bub.” i put my hand on the back of her head softly, pulling her closer to me. “no problem, austy.” she mumbles and hugs me tighter. “are you all ready to go?” i move my hand from her head and look down at her for a response. “yeah, i’m guessing you are too?” she asks. “yeah, i’m all ready.” i smile at her. “well, let’s go then.” she smiles, talking my hand and walking over to my bedroom door. “wow, demanding, huh?” i tease her with a laugh. “sorry, i just wanna spend time with my boyfriend.” she shrugs with a smile. “you mean fiancé?” i smirk as i correct her. “oh shit, you’re right. sorry i keep forgetting.” she smiles sheepishly. “it’s okay.” i reassure her with an award-winning smile. “i’m so excited to skate with you! we haven’t skated together in so long!” she smiles back as we get in my car. “me too! that’s why i picked it!” i pull out onto the road and flash her a smile. “i’m so glad you did.” i see out of the corner of my eye that she looks over at me and smiles. “i couldn’t think of much else that we both love.” i shrug. we get to the rink and i park the car. “it’s okay. i love playing hockey with you. you know, i’ve always wanted a hockey boy.” she looks over at me, a huge smirk on her face. “well, now you got one.” i take her hand in mine and gently kiss her knuckles. i look up at her and flash her a smile. “it was well worth the wait, i’ll tell you that.” she lets out a laugh. “i mean, i would hope so.” i laugh along with her. i open the car door and pop the trunk to get my stuff out of the trunk. she gets out of the car and takes her stuff out of the trunk. “of course it was. it’s you we’re talking about.” she tries to keep a serious tone, but ends up laughing. “good point. you were definitely worth the wait.” i put my hand on the side of her face, tilting her head up to face me, slowly leaning in and closing the space between our lips. we pull away, my hand still resting on her face and hers till resting on mine, and stare into each other’s eyes for a moment. “i love you, aus.” she whispers. “i love you too, jack.” i whisper. “not to kill the mood but we should head inside.” she removed her hand from my face and points towards the rink. “yeah, you’re right.” i laugh as we walk into the rink and then get our stuff on. we only brought our sticks, gloves, and skates since it was just us two. “you ready big guy?” she laughs as she stands up. the skates make her slightly taller, but she’s still shorter than me. “big guy?” my face contorts into a confused expression. “yeah, big guy. you’re big.” she steps on the ice and laughs. “i’m big, huh?” i retort with a smirk and a wink as i step on the ice. “auston! i meant tall and muscular! not like that!” she smacks my arm playfully, causing me to chuckle. “i know, i know. i was just messing with you, baby.” “you’re so annoying.” she shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “and you still love me.” i taunt her with a smile. “i dunno, do i?” she taunts with a smirk. “you wouldn’t have accepted my proposal if you didn’t.” i retort back. “ugh, shut up.” she rolls her eyes and skates away. “ha! i got you there didn’t i?” i skate after her and end up getting in front of her. i skate backwards to taunt her. “shut up.” she rolls her eyes and skates past me. i pick up speed and pick her up from behind. “auston! put me down!” she squirms and tries to get out of my arms. “just say you love me and i’ll put you down.” i taunt her. “fine, i love you.” she sighs. i let her down. “see? wasn’t that hard, was it?” i tease her. “i guess not.” she rolls her eyes at me and skates away. “yo, babe.” i call her back over. “yo, aus.” she imitated me as she skates back over. “i just had a great idea. grab your stick.” i nod my head towards her stick across the ice. “oh god.” she rolls her eyes with a giggle and skates over to grab it. i grab my stick and she brings hers to me. i hold my stick with the end facing me and she holds hers with the end facing her. “i was thinking i could pull you around.” i say as more of a question, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “sounds good to me, baby.” she smiles back at me. i still wasn’t used to the effect her smile had on me. it made my heart stop just like it did when we first started dating. “well, here we go.” i skate backwards and pull her around the ice, both of us laughing and giggling like a bunch of idiots. her laugh was the best sound i’ve ever heard. i loved making her laugh just to hear it. i spin her around in a circle, but then we go too fast and fall down, both of us laughing way too hard to get up. once we’re finally done laughing like fools, i make sure she’s okay. “are you okay, baby? you didn’t get hurt, did you?” i slide over to her and look into her eyes with concern. “yeah, i’m fine. i’ll probably have a few bruises in the morning, but i didn’t break anything.” she shrugs it off. “thank god. i was hoping i didn’t hurt you.” i sigh a breath of relief. “nah, you didn’t. you’ve gotten a lot better since i last skated with you though. i’d say going overseas was the best thing you’ve ever done hockey-wise.” she smiles as she looks into my eyes. “hockey-wise? have i done something better?” “yeah. you fell in love with me.” she laughs. “you’re not wrong.” i chuckle. “you know what we should do now?” her face lights up as an idea hits her. “what?” i laugh lightly. “we should do that thing we used to do. where you skate fast and then slide as far as you can.” she beams. “yeah! id love to!” “i hope you’re ready to lose!” she taunts as she gets to her feet. “i’m not, but i hope you are!” i taunt back as i stand up with her. “shut up, giant boy.” she rolls her eyes and skates down to the boards. “giant boy? how many nicknames do i have?” i follow after her. “i dunno. i just came up with it.” she shrugs. “you ready to lose?” i ask her with a smirk. “no, but i hope you are.” she smirks back. “okay, on three. one, two, three.” i count it out. we skate as fast as we can, then sliding down on our stomachs. i end up almost by the boards, obviously winning. “ha! i won!” i taunt her. “ugh, shut up, golden boy.” she rolls her eyes. “geez, how many nicknames do you have for me?” i laugh. “hmm, there’s golden boy, tall boy, big boy, giant boy, desert boy, cute boy, piggy boy, forehead boy, hockey boy, my boy, baby boy. i think that’s it.” she shrugs. “wow, that’s a lot.” i laugh. “yeah, i guess so.” she shrugs. “i just had another great idea!” “what is it?” she furrows her eyebrows as she looks at me. “we could do a photo shoot! i can use that timer thing and lean it against the boards! we can take pictures together!” i suggest. “that’s a great idea!” she beams. “let’s do it then!” i grab my phone out of my pocket and lean it against the boards. i put the timer on and we get in position. the first picture is normal, just our arms around each other’s backs and our other arms holding our sticks. in the next one i lean my head against hers and press a soft kiss to the top of her head, which makes her lean into me and laugh. after that we turn to face each other and press our foreheads together, causing both of us to laugh. i lean in to kiss her, hearing the camera shutter as our lips meet. we pull away, laughing at the shuttering of the camera. “you should probably see how they came out, especially that last one.” she teases with a laugh. “hey! i forgot it was still going.” i defend with a laugh. i skate to my phone and pick it up, bringing it back over to where she’s standing. “so, how do they look?” she asks, eyebrows furrowed. “i think they came out great.“ i look through the pictures, then handing my phone to her. “wow, they came out great. can you send them to me?” she looks at them, then up at me for a response. “yeah, sure.” she hands me my phone back and i send them to her. “so, what should we do now?” she looks up at me with a cute look on her face. “we could do a passing drill or something?” i raise my eyebrow, looking down at her. “yeah, that’s a great idea!” she exclaims excitedly. “okay, so i was thinking we could start at the face-off and see who scores first.” i explain and look down at her with a small smile. “i hope you’re ready to get your ass kicked.” she teased me with a smile. “yeah, like i’m gonna get my ass kicked.” i roll my eyes and stop at the face-off circle. “you will, just watch and learn, pretty boy.” she winks and stops at the face-off circle. “pretty boy?” i question, confused. “yeah, you’re pretty and you’re a boy.” she states obviously. “i mean you’re not wrong.” i smirk. “ugh, shut up.” she rolls her eyes. we face off and i win, taking the puck down to the other end of the ice. she makes a good attempt at blocking it, but i make it in the net. “look who got their ass kicked!” i taunt her. “you just got lucky.” she taunts back. “whatever you say, babe.” i smile at her. just then the zamboni beeps, meaning we needed to get off the ice, we hurry off the ice and into the locker room. as soon as we get in, we change out of our gear. we grab our bags and i take her hand, smiling down at her. “y’know, i love playing hockey with you. i cant tell you how much i love that we play the same sport.” i smile as we leave the rink. “me too. it’s so much fun.” she leans into me slightly. we head out to my car and head home. as soon as we walk in the door, my parents are already saying happy birthday to jack. “happy birthday jack!” my mom and my dad exclaim. “jack! happy birthday sweetie! i can’t believe you’re 18!” my mom pulls her into a warm hug. “aw, thanks!” jack hugs her back. “i heard auston has something special planned for you guys later.” my mom smiles at jack. “aw, he does?” jack smiles and turns to look at me. “i do, but i was gonna to surprise her.” i laugh lightly. “oh, i’m sorry honey. i didn’t know.” she says apologetically. “it’s okay, mom. don’t worry about it.” i walk over to her and hug her. “aw, group hug!” jack yells and wraps her arms around me and my mom. “there’s always room for another!” my mom laughs. “of course there is.” jack smiles at me. “anyways, we’re gonna head up to my room for a bit.” “okay, i’ll see you guys later i guess.” my mom smiles. “sounds good.” i grab jacks hand and we head upstairs “so, what’s the surprise she was talking about?” she smirks. “i’ll go get it. i’ll be right back.” i kiss her cheek. i go into my parents room and grab her present. “i know the surprise is ruined, but i hope you like it.” i smile at her and hand her an envelope. she tears it open quickly and a smile starts to form on her face. she opens the card and reads what i wrote. “aw, what you wrote is so sweet. i love you, aus.” she smiles at me, her eyes watering from the overwhelming emotions. “i love you too baby, but here’s the surprise i was talking about.” i bring my hands around from my back to show two tickets to the state champs show later tonight. “oh my god, you didn’t.” she starts to smile and looks up at me. “happy birthday, baby.” i put my arm around her and pull her close, planting a kiss to her cheek. “aw, thanks aus. i’m guessing you’re going with me?” she pulls me into a hug, then pulling back and looking at me. “of course i am, babe.” i smile and press a gentle kiss to her forehead. “you like state champs?” she looks at me, surprised. “yeah, i know you wouldn’t expect me to, but i do.” “aw, that’s great. i’m happy you like them.” she coos, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “as long as you’re happy i’m happy.” i pull her in close and hold her. “anyways, i’m gonna go take a shower. i’ll be right back.” she presses a kiss to my lips and leaves the room. the feeling of her lips lingers on mine. i decide to take a shower as well and change into a flannel and a grey shirt and ripped black jeans. just then she comes back in. she’s wearing black ripped jeans and her state champs shirt. “wow, you look..” i pause, not able to get the words out. “i look?” she waits for my answer. “beautiful. you look beautiful.” i stuttered out. “aw, thanks.” she smiles. “anything for my baby.” i smile at her. “aw, you wore my favorite outfit on purpose, didn’t you?” she gushes, clasping her hands together and resting them on her chest. “of course i did, darling. i wanted to make sure i looked cute for you.” i smile. “aw! that’s so sweet!” she gushes and runs into my arms, attacking me with kisses. “aw, i love you.” i hug her tight. “i love you too.” she says and smiles. “we should get going. we can’t be late for the show.” “yeah, you’re right. i cant thank you enough for this. this is really the best birthday ever.” she entraps me in a warm hug. “anything for my baby.” i press a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “i’ll have to do something even better for your birthday.” she mutters against my chest and wraps her arms around me tighter. “i mean, you don’t have to.” i pull her in closer. “but i want to. you deserve it.” she moves her head away from my chest and looks up at me. “if you insist.” i sigh with a smile. “we should get going though.” she points out. “oh shit, you’re right.” i agree as we leave my room and head downstairs. “as always.” she smiles teasingly. “whatever helps you sleep at night.” i sigh and roll my eyes. “don’t push it matthews.” she warns jokingly. “like i’d listen to you, short stack.” i roll my eyes as we walk outside to my car. “sorry i’m not an ugly green giant like you.” she sighs and gets in. “ugly green giant? what?” i start to laugh and get in the car. “you’re a giant. have you looked in a mirror lately?” she looks over at me. “sorry you’re a midget.” i roll my eyes and pull away from my house. “ugh, you’re so annoying.” she rolls her eyes. “and you still love me.” i tease her with a smile. “shut up.” she jokingly sighs. “you know i’m right.” i smile. “ugh, shut up.” she rolls her eyes. “i have something that might make you love me more than you already do though.” i smile at her. “what is it?” she looks at me with a look of bewilderment. “check my glove compartment.” i nod towards it. she opens it, the newest state champs album falls out due to the clutter in there. “oh my god, you bought the album?” she picks it up and stares at it in disbelief. “yeah, i know you think i’m lying when i say i like them, but i like them a lot. i bought it so i knew the material before the show.” i smile at her again as i come to a red light. “aw, auston, that’s so sweet. i love you.” she leans over and pecks my cheek. “i love you too.” i smile at her. she puts the cd in and both of us start to sing along to the songs the whole way to the show. eventually we get to the venue and get in line to go in. the line is long at first but it goes quickly and before we know it we’re in the venue. as soon as we get in, jack can’t stop smiling. we make our way through the venue and to the ga floor, where we find a spot relatively close to the stage. it’s about two rows back from the left side of the stage. “you doing okay, princess?” i ask and lean down to jack. “never been better, baby. you holding up okay?” she smiles at me. “i wasn’t so sure about the crowd at first, but i think i’ll be fine.” i flash her a small smile. “we’re off to the side so we’ll be fine, aus. don’t worry.” she coos as she rubs my back soothingly. “yeah, you’re right.” i smile. the lights go down and people start cheering. “well, i think that’s them.” she smiles back. the two openers came on first, and then state champs came on. i wasn’t sure i would be into it like jack was, but i ended up getting into it. eventually, the show ended and everyone shuffled out.   “so, how’d you like it?” jack almost screams in my ear due to the loudness of the venue we just came out of. “i actually liked it a lot. how about you?” i almost yell back since my hearing is gone. “i loved it. i really can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me today.” she looks at me with a bright smile. “it’s no problem, baby. i love doing things for you.” i put my arm around her and pull her close to me, planting a kiss to the top of her head. “i don’t know what i’m gonna do for your birthday, but it’s gonna be something big.” she says with a smile as she gets in the car. “i can’t wait to see what you plan, baby.” i back out of the parking spot and head out into the traffic of the parking lot. “i was surprised, you seemed like you were pretty into it though. i didn’t think you’d get into it.” she looks over at me. “i wasn’t sure i would be, but i really enjoyed it. it was definitely better than that one time i went with you to see the jonas brothers.” i tease her with a laugh, turning my head to see her reaction. her mouth was wide open in shock. “hey! they’re good and they’re from new jersey! besides, you said you liked them!” she jokes back, playfully hitting my arm that’s laying on the center console. “i mean, i did like them, but i just wanted to go with you. i guess you could say i had a crush on you.” i say smoothly and look over at her, smiling. “aw, little austy had a crush on me.” she teases me, pinching my cheek lightly. “don’t act like you didn’t have a crush on me too.” i retort back with an eye roll. “i did, but it’s fun to make fun of you.” she teases jokingly. “you’re so mean to me.” i say back, jokingly frowning. “c’mon, you know i love you.” she looks over at me with a smile. “i know, baby, i know.” i smile back, tilting my head to face her. “you’re so cute it’s hard not to love you.” she leans over and wraps her arms around my shoulders, pecking my cheek. “you’re right, baby. everyone loves me.” i say proudly. “debatable.” she mutters. “you’re so mean to me.” i sigh jokingly. “i mean, i love you. i don’t know about everyone else.” “even if everyone did love me, i’d still only love you.” i tilt my head to look at her, smiling. “aw, me too, aus.” she smiles back. “i was thinking, do you wanna hit wawa on the way home?” i ask her, tilting my head to look at her, then back on the road as we finally get out of the parking lot. “you read my mind! i was just gonna ask you!” she exclaims with a smile. “i guess i’m just psychic.” i say with a laugh. “i guess you are, baby.” she reaches out to rub my arm, something she almost always does when i’m driving. “i just know you that well.” i glance over and smile at her. ”better than anyone else i know.” she smiles back. “you know me just as well, sunshine.” i smile as i pay attention to the road in front of me. “do you mind if i put on some music?” she asks me. “no, not at all.” “yay!” she exclaims as she grabs the aux cord and plugs her phone in. she puts on big time rush, causing her to erupt in a fit of laughter. she screams along to the songs while dancing and i join in. eventually we get to wawa and go in. “so what are you gonna get?” i ask her, looking down as i grab her hand. “coffee and a pretzel. how bout you?” she answers and asks me a question in return. “i was just gonna get coffee. i figured you would get a pretzel and we could share it?” i say as we walk in. “yeah, i don’t mind. i cant eat the whole thing.” she lets out a laugh. “i figured you wouldn’t mind, but i didn’t want to have any without asking.” “i can’t say no to you. you know that.” she smiles at me as we go to the counter to check out. “true, i can’t say no to you either.” i laugh as we get to the counter and pay, then leaving. “i’m so glad we’re almost home. i just wanna lay down already.” she sighs as she gets in the car. “you tired, baby?” i ask as i get in the car and leave the parking lot to head home. “i’m awake, but i just don’t wanna move.” she laughs. “yeah, me too. we could just stay up until we fall asleep?” i glance over at her, raising my eyebrow. “sounds good to me, baby.” she smiles lazily. “i think my parents are asleep, so don’t make a lot of noise when you walk in.” i warn her in advance. “thanks for telling me. i probably would’ve woken them up.” she laughs. “no problem, darling.” i smile at her as i pull in the driveway. we get out of the car, making sure we don’t slam the doors. we head up to my room. “thanks again for tonight. i really enjoyed spending the whole day with you.” she takes my hands in hers, looking up at me with a beaming smile. “i love going all out for you, babe. i had so much fun with you tonight. i love spending the whole day with you.” i smile down at her, the moon illuminating our faces. “i’m so glad you ran after me that night i was crying. i don’t know what i would’ve done if you hadn’t.” she drops my hands from hers, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “you would’ve told me eventually i’m sure.” i wrap my arms around her. “i don’t know that i would’ve.“ she mutters against my chest. “so if i didn’t run after you, you would’ve never told me?” i look down at her, her head resting on my chest, my eyebrows furrowed. “i probably would’ve, but way later. i could’ve told you after the draft so if you didn’t feel that way i wouldn’t have to deal with it.” she explains. “aw, that’s so sad. i’m so glad you told me. i wouldn’t want to do long distance.” “i wouldn’t want to either. switzerland was bad enough.” she laughs against my chest. “yeah, that was bad enough.” i laugh. “anyways, i’m gonna go to the bathroom. i’ll be right back.” she gets on her tip toes and kisses my cheek. “i’ll be here.” i laugh as she leaves the room. i change into a shirt and pyjama pants. i go over to my bed and lay down, unlocking my phone to check it. my notifications are filled with comments and likes on the birthday post i made for jack. as i scroll through them, she comes back into the room. i notice she changed out of her shirt and jeans into a hockey sweatshirt with my name and number on it. “aw, you look even cuter than you did before.” i look over at her with a smile on my face. “aw, look at you! you’re so adorable in your pjs!” she gushes, her hands clasped together against her chest and a smile on her face. “aw, thanks baby. why don’t you come lay down?” i motion my hand for her to come over to where i’m laying. “that’s where i was going, lovey.” she can’t stop smiling, even as she talks. “i would hope it was. i was starting to get lonely.” i tease her as she moves to the bed and lays down next to me, wrapping her arms around me. i put my arm around her and pull her close. “you’re too cute for me to not lay down with you.” she smiles as she cuddles into my side. “you’re so cute, especially in my sweatshirt. i love the way my name looks on your back.” i smile as i pull her into me and press a gentle, loving kiss to her forehead. “and i love wearing your name on my back.” she lifts her head up and smiles at me. “i can’t wait until you get to take my name. it sounds so good with yours.” i pull her in closer to my side, as if that’s even possible. “oh, i forgot to tell you. i’m still gonna keep my last name. i love it too much to fully take it away, but i’ll just have it hyphenated.” “oh, i don’t mind. i know your last name means a lot to you. mine means just as much to me so i completely understand.” i send her an understanding smile. “good, i’m glad you’re not upset about it.” she smiles. “it would be silly to be upset over that.“ “yeah, you’re right.” she agrees. “oh, did you see the birthday post i made for you?” “no, i didn’t know you made one. show me!” she says excitedly like a little kid on christmas. “i’m sure you’ll love it.” i smile at her as i grab my phone and unlock it. “i’m sure i will, baby.” she grabs my free hand and kisses it softly, then intertwining her fingers with mine. “here it is.” i show it to her and give her time to read it. i typed out a long paragraph about how much i love her and how lucky i am to have a girl like her in my life. “aw, you really feel that way about me?” she looks up at me, tears welling up in her eyes. “of course i do, love. i love you so so much and i’m so so lucky to have a girl like you in my life. i don’t know where i’d be without you. even if we weren’t together, i’d still want you in my life. there’s no one else i’d rather have by my side. i know it hasn’t always been easy for us, but you’ve stuck by me no matter what and i appreciate that so much. you’re the most amazing fiancée any guy could ask for.” i wrap my arms around her tightly, pulling her into my chest. “aw, aus, that’s so sweet.” she gushes. “i’m not even done yet, baby.” i smile as i meet her gaze. “oh, sorry.” she laughs. “it’s okay. i just wanted to tell you how much i love you. i love every bit of you, no matter if you agree or not. you’re so beautiful. every morning i’m met with your beautiful face. it reminds me of how lucky i am to have a girl as beautiful as you. you’re literally the cutest. you could wear a trash bag and still be cute. even after all these years, you never fail to make my heart race. i know you think there’s girls who are way prettier than you, but i can promise you there’s not. you’re the prettiest girl in the world in my eyes.“ i look down, meeting her gaze. the tears in her eyes are rolling down her cheeks, a contradicting smile across her face. “you really think so?” she stares at me in awe. “i’ll never stop trying to make you see what i see when i look at you. i see my whole world right in front of me. i see the girl who has my heart, who knows me better than i know myself, the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with, who can cheer me up when i’m down and make me laugh so hard i cry. you’re the light of my life, baby. i just want you to know i love you more than life itself and you mean the world to me.” i stare into her eyes, my hand on the side of her face, a smile spreading across my face. “you really feel that way?” she puts her hand on mine and starts to smile. “yes, of course i do. i love you.” i smile, pulling her into my chest and wrapping my arms around her. “i love you too. so so much.” she wraps her arms around me tightly. “i just wish you saw yourself the same way and didn’t compare yourself to other girls. just because you think they look more attractive than you doesn’t mean they actually are. you’re the most attractive girl in the world in my eyes. obviously you’re adorable and cute and beautiful, but you have a great personality. you’re so funny and kind. you’re so beautiful inside and out. i’ll never stop trying to make you see what i see.” i whisper and pull her in close. “aw, you’re so sweet. i really appreciate everything you do for me, matts. it never goes unnoticed.” she moves her head on my chest, then getting in the right spot and stopping. “i would do anything for you, my love. i would do it ten times over if i had the chance.” i pull her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “i’d fall in love with you ten times over if i could.” she says, burying her head in my chest. “me too. i love loving you princess.” i pull her closer and hold her tight. “i love loving you too, sweetheart.” she smiles and pulls herself closer to me. “we should get to bed. it’s been a long day and i’m sure both of us are tired.” i suggest. i look over at the clock to see it’s currently 3am. “yeah, you’re right.” she agrees. “goodnight, my love. i love you endlessly. don’t ever forget that.” i whisper and press a soft kiss to the top of her head. “goodnight, aus. i love you endlessly too. don’t ever forget that.” she tightens her grip around me, lazily kissing my chest.
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raydenrrobertson · 3 years
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Hi everyone!!! I’m trying to see if I’m any good at writing fan fiction and would appreciate everyone’s feedback!! ❤️ super short fic/drabble!
Warning: talks of body size and weight and potential bullying in past situations.
I wrote (Y/N) to be a muscular female as that’s how I saw her in my head. I hope that doesn’t offend anyone!!
How we met with Auston Matthew’s:
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Being the more muscular female in your friend group always meant unwanted attention and of course rude comments about your size, weight and body. It’s not like you looked like a man per say but you could see clear as day you worked out from how tight your jeans were on your thighs to how your biceps showed when you wore a tight long sleeve shirt.
You always worried guys wouldn’t like you or find you attractive till you met him at a cafe on a cloudy day in the middle of fall.
He came in like a dream and by dream I mean 6’3 220lbs of muscle and don’t even get me started on those thighs you immediately had sinful thoughts about. You were entranced by him and the way he carried himself. He was confident but seemed almost unsure of himself at the same time. You recognized him as Auston Matthew’s a hockey player for the Toronto Maple Leafs and so did everyone in the cafe.
Rather than being awkward and continuing to stare at the gorgeous man you averted your gaze. Up until he approached your table looking nervous and rubbing the back of his neck asking if he could join you.
You stuttered a reply of “yes of course” and he sat staring deep in your eyes while introducing himself, stretching his hand out to shake yours which you kindly replied with (Y/N). He smiled and after that conversation flowed easily.
You can’t remember how long you sat and talked for but his phone rang and after he hung up he quickly explained he had to leave.
Before he did he asked if he could take you out on a date and asked for your number with a blush adorning his cheeks and you couldn’t say no.
You grabbed your things and walked with him outside as he went to leave you gave him a hug and quick kiss on the cheek before parting ways.
You got about halfway down the block when your phone went off with a text saying “Thanks for letting me join you and for giving me your number, not everyday I meet someone as beautiful as you.”
You blushed and smiled so wide your cheeks hurt. Shoving your phone back in your pocket you chuckled to yourself thinking the rest of the walk back to your apartment ‘Maybe being me isn’t all that bad after all.’
That was the beginning of something beautiful.
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strome-daddy · 7 years
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Can I shamelessly self promo my Marnthews fic? You bet I can.
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