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thotantics · 5 years

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(gif credit to owner)

⚤ pairing — reader + Bambam

✎ word count — 2,030

✦ genre — smut

✗ warnings — graphic description of sex, masturbation (brief), oral sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation (implied)

[requested] Bambam (GOT7)x fem!reader w/ "open your legs and smile for the camera" and "touch yourself for me" please and thank you

[A/N] random burst of inspo for this!! idk where it come from lmao but i intended to make this into a drabble (1k words or less!!) buuuuuut this just kinda all came out in one sitting and i couldnt stop 😅 unedited bc i cbf im too excited to post something again :’)

“I hate leaving you, don’t get me wrong..” He’s mumbling this against the valley of your breasts, his voice rumbling out of him and tickling your sensitive skin, goosebumps prickling your arms and the back of your neck as he lifts his head to smile at you, “But I really fucking love the way we say goodbye.”

You weren’t entirely sure if he meant the handjob you were currently providing him with or the lengthy make out session that led to it, or both. But it made you smile, nonetheless. You can feel him pulsing in your grip, cock hardening even further as he turns his head and captures a peaked nipple between his lips. You sigh.

“Can I take your picture?” Bambam asks you, seemingly out of nowhere but in truth, he’d been hiding away a brand new Polaroid specifically for this moment. “It’ll help me miss you just a little bit less whenever I have to leave.” He reasons with you when you give him a less than convinced look at the suggestion.

But you can’t deny him, and you trust that he’ll keep the photos safely hidden. Even still, you need to feel at least somewhat in control of this situation so you tell him, “Only three.”

“Three?” He repeats, brows shooting up in surprise. “Wow...” He exhales, a smile spreading across his face, “I was hoping for just one! You’re so generous.”

He’s laughing against your neck while you roll your eyes, unable to resist smiling as you kiss a path across his shoulder, your hand still slowly working at his cock, “Don’t make me change my mind, Bam.”

He’s quick to disengage from you and trot happily across the room, rummaging in his closet at a pile of freshly delivered boxes until he finds the right one. He’d already loaded the camera with film and had taken some shots of random things, test driving his new toy with photos of his cats, mostly.

You’re both already naked and when Bambam turns back to you, looking at you through the lens, but you suddenly feel even more naked. Your arms drape over your chest and your hand dips between your legs, hiding your sex. He pulls the camera away and smiles at you reassuringly as he walks back over to the bed, climbing up beside you.

“The picture I first wanted was of your pretty lips,” He tells you, dragging his index finger over your lower lip, folding it out before he lets it fall back into place, biting at his own lip as he watches, “But since I get three...hm, what should I do?” He wonders out loud. He gives you a good once over. His eyes linger on your breasts and you can practically see the cogs turning in his head before he keeps on looking you over.

The spot he finally decides on is where your hand is still tucked between your thighs still tightly pressed together, shielding your sex from his view. You know he’s figured out what he wants by the way his eyes narrow a bit and you can only imagine what sort of filth is going on in that head of his.

Before you can speak, he’s bounding up on knees, settling by your feet planted flat on the mattress, and he rests the camera in his hand on top of your knee, meeting your eyes.

“Open up.” He smiles.

You pout at him. “All of a sudden?”

“I want you to touch yourself for me.” He explains, again licking at his bottom lip before he catches it in his teeth. “Don’t act shy,” He laughs, “It’s just me.”

“You and your camera.” You remind him, but you let your knees fall open anyway, keeping your hand cupped around your sex.

“That’s right, baby.” Bam whispers, “Let me see that pretty pussy.”

You’re blushing furiously but he’s keeping his camera away from you for now, and the hungry look in his eyes is helping to quell any insecurity you have. Who has time to feel insecure with a man like him staring you down like he’s never seen a creature more gorgeous, anyway?

It’s a slow reveal intentionally, keeping the back of your hand as the most he can see until you feel brave enough to drag your hand back, pressing the pads of two fingers on either side of your clit. Bambam’s breath hitches, fingers twitching on his camera, still resting on your left knee.

Encouragingly, Bam whispers again down to you, his free hand rubbing your outer thigh, “You’re so hot, baby. Shit, I’m so fucking turned on right now..”

So you keep going until you’re forgetting all about him and his dumb camera. You press your fingers lower, dragging your wetness from it’s source and circling your clit with renewed vigor, moaning softly at the slick friction that has you clenching around nothing. Bambam’s solid and pressed up against the back of your right thigh, and you can feel the pulse of that thick vein that runs along the underside of his cock thrumming against your heated skin, the wet patch where precum is spilling out from the tip of him.

Then he lifts his camera and your knees start to shut again, and he groans, eyes lifting to meet your own, “Baby~” He’s pleading already, you can see it in his eyes and hear it in his tone, “Let me see~”

“Nobody can ever know these pictures exist, Bam.” You tell him and he frowns, nodding his head seriously.

“Of course not.” He assures you, “These are for me, baby, they’re all mine...just like you.”

You smile back at him, “That’s right.”

He’s excited all over again after this exchange, and he stands up on the mattress, the weight of him making you shift as he corrects his footing and plants one hand on the ceiling to steady himself.

You’re already laughing at the sight of his long, awkward limbs standing up like a newborn giraffe to stand over you like he is before he tells you, “Open your legs and smile for the camera.”

You do as he says, parting your knees wide and dipping your fingers into your drenched slit, circling your entrance as a genuine laugh is captured by the flash of his Polaroid.

Bambam’s thrilled, exclaiming softly to himself happily as the photo ejects from the front and he steps carefully off the bed and places it gently on one of the end tables to develop, “That’s such a good picture.” He says, then he turns back to the bed, tossing the camera next to you and climbing over you, giving you a deep kiss as he replaces your fingers with his own.

“You’re so fucking pretty,” He groans against your lips, fucking you open with two of his long fingers, indulging in the wet sounds that emit from your greedy cunt. “Can I take one of your lips on my dick, baby?”

You hum in agreement, head spinning, sure that you would give this man the entire moon, somehow, if he said in that moment that he wanted it. You follow after him as he moves to stand at the edge of the bed, grabbing his camera again. Your lips part and you meet the tip of his cock with your tongue first, licking down and back up the length of him, wetting him with saliva before you wrap your lips around him so he slides more easily into your mouth.

You’re so focused on the sounds he make and the weight of his dick on your tongue that you forget about the camera for a long while and just suck him as if your life depended on it. Bambam likes you cock hungry and god, were you ever when it came to him. Blowjobs weren’t necessarily pleasurable for you but sucking him off was an experience. The power you felt when his thighs twitched and he gasped as you focus on his tip, the wetness that seeped from your core as you massaged his balls and felt how tight and full of cum they were. All because of you.

Bam waits until you’re a mess of spit, hair everywhere from his hands clinging onto you desperately, tears filling your eyes from gagging a few too many times trying to let him deeply fuck your throat, before he snags his camera from the bed again. He tells you in a gentle tone to look at him and you do, tears clinging to your lashes, only to be met with the lens. He takes his second photo with the flash off, wanting your eyes open wide and staring up at him with your lips tight around his shaft. He moves away from you again to place the photo with the other while you clear your scratchy throat and steady your breathing.

He’s already got in mind what he wants for the last picture you’ve allowed him to take, but he forgets about it for the time being, putting the camera out of the way temporarily. Instead, he busies himself in repaying you for the amazing head, laying between your thighs on his stomach, his cock pressed between his stomach and the sheets as he tongues slow circles across your clit.

You cum for him, twitching, keening, while he sucks greedily at you, fingers buried deep in your cunt, and before the last waves of pleasure have passed, while you’re still throbbing on the inside, he flips you over onto your knees with gentle hand placements, coming up behind you and pressing himself inside.

Bambam snaps his third photo while you cum again around his cock, immediately after the first orgasm, your pussy gushing back across his thighs. He’s piercing you deep and with hard snaps of his hips, but he’s slow, drawing out his thrusts every 4 or 5 seconds. You’re moaning high pitched and completely in time to his every thrust, and don’t even realize when he had turned the flash back on and gotten that last photo by turning to his left and looking at the full length mirror near the closet. He’s cut off in the photo at the top of his head but otherwise, everything else should be clear, including the look on your face, head thrown back, features contorted in pleasure.

“Fuck me harder.” You cry back to him, nails digging into his thigh in an attempt to regain his attention when you feel him shifting forward to place the final photo with the first two.

He straightens back up and grips onto your hips, hoisting your ass up a little higher where you’d slumped under the weight of him leaning past you to the end table. Then he pulls back until the tip of him is kissing at your entrance and he slams back in, hard and fast. He fucks you without interruption, then, wild and unabashedly chasing his own high.

In the process, he has you cumming again, sobbing into the pillow, drool spilling out of your mouth as he fucks his own cum into you until it, too, is spilling out of you and soiling the sheets. He doesn’t stop until you beg him for a break, your body on fire and throbbing head to toe. The moment he relaxes and let’s his body fall away from yours, you collapse onto your stomach, gasping for air.

For a few moments you shut your eyes, feeling him shift off the bed and you wait to hear him return with something to clean you up, but instead you’re met with silence. Before you fall asleep a sticky mess face down on the pillows, you flutter your eyes open and catch your boyfriend staring at the three photos fanned out in his hands like a winning hand of poker.

“Baby,” Bambam chuckles in disbelief when he meets your eyes and sees that you’re still awake, “You are so goddamn hot.” He turns and shows the photos to you, dropping them delicately on the mattress next to you in favor of cupping your head as you sit up and planting a kiss on your forehead. “Thank you.”

#bambam smut #got7 smut #mine #yoooooo WHERE tf did this come from??#yall tell me bc i sure tf do not know #not my gif #there's no easy to find bammie gifs on giphy :(((( i googled and found that one on pinterest with no source #if anybody knows the owner pls lmk so i can credit them

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indieks · 7 years

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Not So Randomly | Part 3/5

🌟 Pairing : Im Changkyun (I.M) x Reader

🌟 Genre : Fluff, Angst

🌟 Word count : 14.4k

🌟 Synopsis : Whenever you cross the path of Im Changkyun, that guy you hate and that hates you, it seems to be the worst day of your life. But, strangely enough, it also becomes the best and most accurate of moments you've ever had. So, the more you randomly end up stucked with each other, the more a question can arise : is it really chance that has something against you, or is it serendipity that drives you one towards the other?

Previous Part .:. Next Part

🌟 A/N : Sorry it took me longer to post this, but as you can see, I wrote a lot more and I struggled to be satisfied...

Anyway, we’re finally going back to school with this part! And I'm thanking all of you who are following me with this, I'm really appreciative so thank you! I hope you'll have a good time reading! ♥

Disclaimer : any gifs or images used, even edited, are not mine and belong to their rightful owners!

***

Spring. One word that made the kids on holiday happy as they soon would be reunited with their classmates, the teenagers and young adults bloom with ideas and worries about their future as they came closer and closer to the work-life at each start of this season, and the parents proud to see their children grow up and enter a new cycle in March. And for him, it was a word that made him anticipate as much as it excited him.

As winter was coming to an end, Changkyun had just left Busan and was about to start his college life in Seoul, the huge capital in which he had always dreamed of spending time. Night had already fallen when he took the subway with his enormous suitcase and when he finally seated, he sighed in relief, tired by the journey he had went on before arriving here. It was the last mean of transport he had to use, and thankfully he would be staying in it for good twenty to thirty minutes. His hands were red and aching because of the cold outside, as fog was forming on the glasses of the modern train, and he put them in his pockets after having smiled at the trace of a scar in the palm of his left hand.

He had thought of you from time to time during these 6 long months, as after your last conversation – or rather altercation – he hadn't contacted nor seen you. He had been vigilant like you whenever he had gone out with his friends in Busan's streets , looking around him and, in some way, searching for you. His hyungs had tried to make him regret his poor decision of banishing you from his life without even giving you and him a chance, when it clearly would have been possible. However, his pride had been as solid as a rock, becoming like a shield against which their arguments had bounced back. After falling ridiculously for a girl he had been supposed to despise at first, how could his friends expect from him to go back to you? He had failed the first time to stick to his decision to ignore you, he wouldn't fail the second time.

And so he didn't. When summer had been over, you went back to Seoul and he stayed behind, without the chance of seeing your face again, except in his memories. But when he had been accepted to his university in the capital, the flashes of you he had tried so hard to brush off during the second semester finally reappeared, reminding him that you lived there, and he hadn't been able to prevent himself from anticipating a new random encounter between the two of you.

He couldn't have been more right. When the subway came to a stop for the fifth time, he was already about to doze off when suddenly, he saw a girl entering and sit down near him, bringing her legs against her chest and her feet on the seat. He only observed her from the corner of his eye at first, but he soon realized that he wasn't the only one to have his eyes drawn to her. Indeed, she was crying, and even if she was trying the best she could to remain quiet, her sobs could still be perceived through the ambient hubbub. When she finally freed her face from her hair by tying them into a bun, revealing the water spilling from her eyes and the makeup it was wasting, Changkyun almost had a heart attack. It was you. It was you. Right here, right now, at this instant. You were so close to him he couldn't believe it, and he finally stared at you with all his attention.

As much as it made him go crazy to see you appear once again randomly in his sight, he couldn't deny how happy he truly felt to see your face again, even if he had no right to look at it the way he was right now, as he had refused to be someone doing that whenever he wanted to and with you liking it. In the mix of emotions he was feeling right now, from shock to anxiety to attraction to relief, he also felt the outlines of a laugh tracing themselves in the back of his throat as he thought again of how your paths never stopped from crossing whenever you were in the same city. Destiny? Fate? Misfortune? He didn't know how to call it at this point.

Like the time he had seen you at the promenade, he was losing himself at your sight and feeling something tingling deep within him, which had given him cold chills even in summer back then. Like the time at the park, he was suffering from hot flashes ascending from his chest to his face, making him sweat like he had back then. Like the time at the party, his heart felt uneasy at the sight of you crying, his body aching to move to you, as if it was attracted to yours like a magnet, making him go after you back then.

And like every time he met you, a wave of emotions he couldn't describe had come crashing against him, drowning him in his infatuation for you he had denied back then.

But this time, it was right here, right now, and even after the 6 long months without seeing you, Changkyun had to witness all of his inner feelings resurface without being able to do anything except from undergo it.

Why were you crying again? Who had hurt you?

***

You had been walking for a while now, after leaving him behind you to prevent him from seeing you cry pitifully and apologizing again. You couldn't hear his excuses anymore, they were useless as he had already hurt you.

After that damn summer, you went back to Seoul and to your high school, and, with the fantastic advice from your best friend, you had started to see a guy who had had a crush on you even before the summer break, in order to move on from Changkyun. Yes, move on, because as hard as it had been even for you to believe, that jerk had left a deep impact on you. He had hurt you really bad, making you numb from any attractions for any other boy, and you had thought of him more frequently than you should have done. You had wondered how come you could have done this to yourself, how come you could have fallen for his sharp and mean personality, how come you didn't slap him when he sure had deserved it, and, pretty stupidly, even how he had been doing, if he was thinking of you too.

That's when your best friend had took action, tired of you moping, so she pushed you towards this guy that was in the same year as you but in a different class. Messages after messages, smiles after smiles and dates after dates, you finally had become something by the end of October. He was a sweet and smart guy, undeniably cute ; all a girl could've asked for, and it really did help you to dry up the seemingly flourishing source of attraction for Changkyun that had filled you till your veins. You finally felt that gentle sparkle you had had with Changkyun but this time while you were looking at that guy, even more after he had reassured you when you refused to have your first time with him because you were not ready. You had thought he had accepted you entirely.

Yeah, that's what you had thought, until tonight when he called you, aligning those words making everyone's body tremble with fear and heart compress : "I need to talk to you." You went to the park near your high school as fast as you could, not even feeling the cold seeping through your ripped jeans and your tights. You hadn't wanted to think it was a breakup that was waiting for you, as after you had searched in your head what wrong you could've done or if things were weird lately, you had found out that nothing was pointing, at least not evidently, to him parting from you.

However, you had sensed things wrong once again, like you had with Changkyun. He broke up with you in that park, the one you had went to so many times to spend some time after classes, not caring about the snow or the cold as you had each other's fiery heart to heat up the atmosphere around you. He broke up with you after 4 months of relationship, his sentences punctuated by sorrys cutting you even deeper every time they slipped from his mouth. He broke up with you, because he was fearing he "wouldn't be able to enjoy his college life as much as he would like to if he had a girlfriend" and as he "respected you, he didn't want you to suffer because of him if he ever did something wrong".

Yes, you were going to different universities, him traveling to the south of the country while you were staying there in Seoul, but you at least had been ready to give it a try, because in the end, you truly liked him. You told him those exact words and before he could excuse himself one more time, you walked away ; no, you ran away. So that was what had been missing? Maybe, if you had given your body to him he would've stayed? But what about those reassuring words he had said to you, telling you he could wait? Wasn't your affection enough for him to hold onto and not fall in the trap of the party life universities imply?

You cried in the streets, not caring about the curious looks the passengers gave you, your vision totally blurred and your head disconnected from reality. Suffering from a heartbreak so soon couldn't have been more lethal to you, and you felt the pieces of your ruined heart slip away from your body along with the tears you cried. You trailed your feet as you entered the subway and when you sat down, you curled up and waited for your stop to come, not even noticing you were still crying and that a lot of pair of eyes were on you. Not even noticing his pair of eyes on you, those sharp eyes that had burned you from indifference as well as interest when he had kissed you. A lady next to you offered you a tissue and you finally wiped your eyes and face, clearing your vision, and you checked your phone to see a notification, from him.

Hwi Min 🙄💕[8:37 PM] : Im so so so sorry. Ik you told me to stop saying it, but I do care abt you, Y/N. So I'm telling you again, Im sorry. I wish you the best. If you want to talk to me again after some time… you have my number.

[Blocked]

That was the best thing you could do to yourself ; erase everything about him in an instant, move on as quickly as you could, look in front of you instead of looking back. College life was waiting for you, a whole new world with your best friend as your roommate ; there would be plenty of nice guys there, and if there weren't any for you, you would wait until your time comes. You breathed calmly, your tears had finally stopped from running down your cheeks as you did this small lecture to yourself, but when you finally dared to look around you, you couldn't have felt more suffocated than with what you saw. Im Changkyun. He was sitting right there, and he was staring at you in return. He was there as the ghost he had always been, appearing freely in your life and crushing every one of your attempts not to care about love or boys. You couldn't believe it, mixed between shock and embarrassment that he had seen you cry another time. For how long had he been sitting there?

You saw him part his lips as if he was about to say something, also starting to shift his body as if he was going to move from his sit to come closer to you, but you couldn't admit it nor wanted to. This, wasn't the right moment. This, wasn't supposed to happen. What did chance had after you? Why did you come across him again, of all human beings on earth, and in addition when you were at your worst state, less than ready to deal with him heads up? Why did you have to face the first guy that had crushed your heart right after you had met with the second one you had wanted to give it to but who torn it apart as well?

You stood up on your wobbling legs - again - and all the other symptoms he made you sick with filled your body as you looked at him one last time before getting off the subway in precipitation. Sweat, chills, tachycardia, defective legs. You cursed under your breath, tears already foaming under your eyelids and blurring your sight once again, but even if you were going as fast as you could, it didn't beat Changkyun's determination to go after you another time. His suitcase rolling behind him, he pulled at it with all he could so that it wouldn't slow him down and, once you were outside, he finally got a hold of your arm.

"Y/N" he almost whispered, out of breath after this small race.

You didn't turn back, frozen by his hand on your body and his deep and low voice, that voice which melted so well in your ears, that muted every other sound around you, even the ones of the busy Seoul at night.

"Y/N, look at me" he spoke up again and you finally faced him.

It struck you, how much you had missed that face even if it had hurt you just to think of him. He hadn't changed, except for the fact that you found a glow in his eyes that hadn't been there the last time you had stood before him. He observed you from your head to your toes, thinking you were cute yet feminine in your huge knitted sweater and your ripped jeans, and finally, for the first time ever, he smiled at you. Purely, genuinely, simply. Weirdly enough, you felt your heart quiver in your chest when you had thought it was dead after having been stabbed by two boys in no time.

"Long time no see. Is it my turn to be the only one laughing at how fate hates us?" he asked but he waited patiently for your reaction, taking his time to engrave that image of you in the cold night, with tear-stained face and tiredness masking your traits, but still as beautiful as ever.

"I don't really have the energy to laugh right now, you can guess" you answered coldly, your voice weak and as you didn't bear to be that close to him again after all this time, after all your work to forget about him, you suddenly turned around and started to walk away.

Changkyun was surprised but, for the first time too, he followed once more, his feet pushed by the hands of excitement instead of being held by the ones of fear like they had.

"Wait wait wait Y/N, let’s-"

"Leave me alone, Im Changkyun." you told him once you had stopped walking because of a green light preventing you from crossing the street. "I don't know what the fuck you're doing here, and I don't care. I didn't want to see you ever again the last time we met, and it hasn't changed. Goodbye."

With those last words and before he could say anything else, you signaled a taxi to stop for you and fortunately it did, so you hopped in without giving the boy one last look, leaving him on the sidewalk to wonder what had just happened, just like you were doing in the car.

***

Silence had never seemed that unbearable. Because now that you were all by yourself, without the buzzing sound of the night and streets, you could only focus on what was on your own mind. And even when you turned on some music, his voice in your head wouldn't disappear.

Trying to empty your head had never been that hard. Because every time you closed your eyes to stop seeing his image on the ceiling facing you, it appeared under your eyelids as if it was tattooed there, replacing the old one of his face close to yours whose ink had finally started to disappear, so much you couldn't remember his traits in their most perfect moment.

You couldn't laugh at it this time like you had done 6 months ago. Not after what he had done to you, not after what Hwimin just had too. You had too many emotions to handle in just one night : you still hadn't processed that you were single again when you met Changkyun. But what was scaring and confusing you the most, was that seeing him again seemed to influence your well-being even more than being dumped by your now ex-boyfriend. You couldn't think of Hwimin's words anymore, as only those of Changkyun were remaining in your brain, deleting everything that had happened before. You couldn't remember how sincere Hwimin's expressions had been, as only the traits of Changkyun were freezing you in your spot under your blanket.

You had returned to the university's dorms by taxi, as you had already moved in a few days before in a hurry, happy to leave the bird's nest. Thankfully, your parents had accepted that you lived on campus even if your house wasn't that far from Seoul, but they had understood how much it was important for you to blend in your college life completely and to detach yourself from them.

Back to school was in two days. Only a weekend was left before the real start of everything, but you felt gloomy instead of thrilled, as you realized that in addition of not seeing Hwimin physically, you won't get to update him about your life as you used to before. You didn't have that special person anymore, the one everyone's waiting for even when they don't think about it ; the one you don't need to have something specific to talk about to send a message ; the one you knew was there whenever you needed him or her ; the one you could think of with a smile when you were feeling… Well, when you were feeling exactly like you were at this right instant. Now, picturing the face of Hwimin in your mind made you ache even more. You regretted having known someone like him, even having your first serious relationship ever, because now that you had seen how it was to have a boyfriend, not having one anymore and being single was harder to go through.

You felt gloomy until the day before your first day at college. You had spent the weekend at your parents' house, and on Sunday night they sent you back, your mother getting teary at the sight of her daughter leaving even if you assured her you would come back to them more frequently than what she thought.

"How are you feeling?" your best friend, Solhee, asked you as you both were packing your things for the next morning.

"About what? Tomorrow?"

"Don't play dumb with me. I'm talking about Hwimin." she answered with a serious tone, crossing her arms on her chest while turning around to look at you who was still placing stuff in your backpack.

"I'm… Fine, I guess, I mean I have to be." you sighed and you let yourself fall down on your bed once you were done.

You had decorated your room with small tinsels and pictures to make it feel a bit more like home, as you were going to be stuck in here most of the time. You looked at the fluorescent stars you had glued to the ceiling above you, another sigh leaving your lips as you thought of your ex again. Solhee had told you Hwimin had asked her about how you were doing, making you a bit angry because he had been the one to put you in this state in the first place, but also killing you as you couldn't help yourself from finding it sweet.

"Solhee-ah."

Your best friend plopped back on her bed too, before rolling on her side to look at you as you kept staring at the white ceiling, your arms under your head.

"Yes, Y/N-ah?"

"I saw him two days ago."

"Who? Hwimin?"

"And I'm the one playing dumb here? You already know that. But I didn't tell you… I saw Changkyun, the same day too."

She sat up as quickly as she had lied down, her eyes ten times bigger and her mouth wide open, making you laugh at the sight.

"WHAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?! HOW COME?! WHEN?! WHAT HAPPENED?!!!!"

"Calm the fuck down Solhee!!! We have neighbors now you know?!" you quickly whispered.

"You, tell me what happened. Now."

"That's exactly what I was about to do but I only can if you shut your mouth and listen." you replied while giving her a warning look, to which she nodded. "I told you how I constantly came across Changkyun back there in Busan. Well you know what? Even in Seoul, it seems that fate wants to kill me. I just had seen Hwimin, that is to say I just got dumped you know? I took the subway, I was crying like shit, and when I looked around, he was there, Solhee. He was sitting at like 3 meters away from me, and he was looking at me while I was crying. Do you believe that? Meeting randomly in Seoul, why not, but how come I enter the same wagon as him? Subways have like ten of them! And what's even better, is that instead of thinking of Hwimin and consider moving on, I think of Changkyun every single minute since Friday night and that's even worse. Everything you’ve tried to do makes no sense now, Solhee. I just lost the guy that was supposed to help me move on, and I met the guy I was supposed to forget about, exactly at the moment when I have no shield against him anymore. How come my life is so pathetic? Now I'm scared to death to go outside because I'm sure he'll be there! He had a suitcase!!!"

You felt at the verge of crying again now that you had said out loud how blurred your situation was. But even if it had relieved you to release the voices in your head, thinking that once they were out you wouldn't hear them anymore, you shouldn't have brought this subject right before your first day of college, as Solhee and you talked and talked without checking the alarms next to your beds. But it was too late to regret it when you finally woke up in the morning, your eyes sticky and your mind hardly processing what time it was until you saw it was ten minutes before the start of the first class.

"Solhee-ah. SOLHEE-AH. YA YOON SOLHEE!" you finally screamed, and your best friend jumped out of her bed once she heard you stutter the time it was.

Soon enough, you were slipping on some clothes from your wardrobe without looking at them or making sure they matched, your eyes still not adapting to the morning light your now opened window was revealing, and you felt in such a state of panic that you almost puked before going outside. How could you be late on the first day? How could you do this to yourself? You were supposed to have a fresh start, not a remarkable one because of your poor attitude, and you were already getting hot from embarrassment when you reached the door of the small amphitheater you had lost even more time to find.

If you had imagined your first day at university with a fresh makeup on your face and an outfit you were confident with, a bright smile disguising your lips making the rays of sun look dim, the reality was far from it. It's with sweaty foreheads and loud breathings taking from you the last ounce of glamour you could have, that your best friend and you finally found the courage to enter the class after having knocked. Students started to laugh and whisper with their mouths behind their hands, while the teacher turned around slowly to look at you move forward on the tip of your toes and with your back bent, as if it would make you tinier and your appearance a little bit more discreet.

To your despair, the only few folding seats left were apart from each other, and without even looking or thinking properly, you sat down on the first one you saw and so did Solhee. You hung your head low as you heard people talking – or more joking – about you, making you blush even more and want to bury your body under the magnificent grass of the campus. You hated being the center of rumors or whatever would circulate between the walls of this classroom and the whole university after that, and you felt the need to puke coming back as you started to imagine what label would be put on you after that. The late ugly girl? The sweaty breathy one? The head-in-the ass?

"I'm letting it go today, but don't be late next time girls! I know it's back to school and it's hard to wake up, but you have to get used to it and really quickly!" the teacher said with a smile, making you smile in return but your heart didn't feel at ease yet.

You pushed your back further into your seat and you let a sigh leave your lips, trying to focus on what the accounting teacher was explaining about this year's program, but your shame was still burning your ears and preventing you from listening apart from the whispers still swishing in the air.

"I didn't know you were this kind of girl, you were always on time last summer" you suddenly heard a deep voice coming from your right, a voice you knew too well and that got you cold in an instant even if you had been boiling from shame and from your morning race.

You slowly turned your head and yes, Im Changkyun was sitting next to you. You could see each pore of his light skin, smell each component from his perfume, and feel each inch of his knee against yours. It can't be.

"Stop staring at me, you're making this even weirder", your neighbor said in a quiet voice, and you faced your desk again, starting to sort out your things on it.

He hadn't had the time to properly process your entry through the door, because even if you had not noticed him first, when you sat down next to him without paying attention, it had forced him to digest the reality of the situation quicker than it would have took. You were here, once again, so close he could touch you this time. He had anticipated this exact moment since he had seen you two days before, since you had rejected him for the first time when he had always been the one to do it, and since it had bothered him more than he would have thought. Nevertheless, when it finally happened, he discovered he should've prepared himself instead of thinking his denial would work forever. Because the second you stepped your feet in the amphitheater, he felt dizzy, hit by his now well-known wave of feelings but with way much more violence than before, putting his strategy at stake one more time.

Your panicked hands almost made some pencils fall and roll down to the ground, which would have been the utmost of your morning shame, but "luckily" Changkyun caught them on their way, and his hand brushed yours when he put them back into their place. You almost screamed at the feeling of his skin touching even slightly yours, bringing back the painful memories of when you had bandaged him. Your heart should have been calmed down by now even after its physical effort, but its beating was getting worse. You couldn't help yourself from losing your nerve ; not since he was that close to you, not until you would have him in your sight, not as it felt like the worst morning of your life.

"What are you doing here?" you finally asked that dumb question, your fuzzy mind speaking for itself.

"Same as you, studying" Changkyun answered, his eyes on the teacher walking in the amphitheater and his small lips almost curving into a smile.

How could he smile in this situation? Of course he could, he was granted another opportunity to humiliate and annoy you just by being right here, heads up.

"I meant, why here?" you insisted, looking for any possible answers as to why chance would do this to you another time.

You needed to understand how come he could come after you and your weak heart 6 months later, or find a situation you'd believe would have brought him here next to you rationally. He was more than beautiful, with his black perfecto and his visible forehead, and your mind was drifting in limbo as you could only feel and see him even without looking at him directly.

It was as if in a second, he could absorb all the landscape around to make you focus on him and him only. Changkyun sighed and finally looked at you, his sharp eyes giving you the same chills as usual, the ones you weren't able to prevent and that made every single hair on your body stand.

"Why not? It's the university I wanted, should I say sorry?" he asked with the only tone he used with you, and you could perceive it even if it was hushed.

"What major are you in?" you pursued, praying it would differ from yours.

"Finance."

You sighed in relief because you had chosen marketing and strategic management, as its spirit had always been around you with the commercial environment your parents had raised you in. You hadn't wanted to push your experience and knowledge on the side, and chose to use it to be even better than your parents, in a bigger frame, and hopefully a different field.

"Now can you stop with the examination? You told me two days ago that I should stay out of your life and here you are according me all your attention, does it make sense?" he added as he wrote something on his notebook.

You hadn't missed his cocky side – well maybe you had – but after so much time apart from him, you couldn't deal with it as patiently as before, so your blood boiled the second he started to pull the sarcastic card with you, making you kick his calf under the table. He snapped back his head in your direction, eyes opened wide and filled with annoyance, and you forced yourself to keep yours on your notebook you finally filled with messy notes. But soon enough, you being right-handed and him left-handed, you began to bother each other, your elbows never ceasing to bang. Having him beside you was enough to make you hypersensitive ; touching him above all was scratching the last willpower you had inside of you to remain still as if he was unknown.

"Oh my goodness would you stop eating up my personal space or what?" he finally whispered, giving you one more nudge.

"They say left-handed people are weird, I get why you're such a dork" you joked without moving and you saw him put his pen down to pinch his nose bridge.

How could you be joking with him?

"We're original, you should use the right words."

"Soooo original that you dye your hair grey like any Instagram girl would do."

Why are you still taking to him?

You heard him chuckle and, weirdly, a smile crept up your lips that you bit not to show it.

"At least I have a proper back-to-school outfit those Instagram girls would love and tag, because yours…"

You quickly looked at yourself, with a pair of boyfriend jeans, a sweater you shouldn't have found in your wardrobe in the first place and unmatching socks, and you clicked your tongue against your palate, making him smile without you seeing. What was happening? He was like he had been at first last summer, annoying you but in a harmless way – the way that made you fall for him –, while the last time you properly spoke he had been the worst bastard in South Korea. Did distance and time help him to reflect on what he had done to you? So much that you were laughing and joking together like classmates would do? This wasn't right, you shouldn't be so peaceful with him next to you, so you soon refrained yourself from sympathizing any longer.

Changkyun saw immediately your change of attitude as you shifted in your seat and fixed your gaze on the board, no longer hiding behind your hair to talk to him, and his heart missed a beat. But it was nothing compared to how much he had missed you. He had missed seeing you work at his side, he had missed your profile, he had missed your upset tone, and he had missed just having the right to look at you like he was right now, soon forgetting to keep up with the class and to write the formulas. STOP. Stand your ground.

Neither of you would have imagined that your reunion would be the way it was now. It was as if nothing had ever happened, as if the 6 months never created the hole you thought it had, as if he had never hurt you nor kissed you and you just had met him again under other circumstances, recovering naturally the cat and dog relationship you had gotten used to. As if you still liked him the way you did, forgetting the feelings you grew for Hwimin as the ones Changkyun owned just took back their place.

Everything was wrongfully right, how your hearts were beating fast but in some harmony you weren't aware of yet, how each other's presence disturbed as much as it pleased you, and how, as freaking as it was for you to admit, you both felt something lit up definitively in your chest, after it had started to sparkle two days ago at the subway station.

When the bell rang, you threw your things into your backpack and stormed to the door, excusing yourself a second time to your professor, and soon your best friend was running after you as you were walking away as fast as you could.

"Ya! Why are you in such a hurry?! We're not late to the next class so slow down!"

"He's here, Solhee!"

You stopped in your tracks in the hallway, looking for the closest exit to you. You needed to breathe properly, you needed to float back after having drowned into your emotions the moment you saw him, making you unable to swim through them and think properly.

"Who?" Solhee asked, her brows raised and she turned around to see what you were looking at.

Changkyun had just gone out of the classroom and you saw him quickly hug someone, who you soon recognized as Hoseok once he faced your direction and started to walk by his side. The world is way too small. You suddenly remembered Hoseok's answer when you had asked him where he was studying at the party, but you had forgotten about it with the distress of the events that had followed.

"Changkyun." you sighed.

Solhee gasped when she finally saw the man that had caused you that much trouble with her own two eyes for the first time, and she grabbed you by the sleeve before shaking it crazily. You were over the panic stage now, you had dealt with it way better than you thought through the first hour, almost too well as you had even managed to smile at his sentences instead of wanting to murder him the second he opened his mouth.

And the second he passed you, his footsteps matching the pace of your heartbeat, you knew nothing had changed ; your feelings had just stood quiet but never faded away, and they were now screaming inside of you, tearing everything apart and ruining every single bit of the wall you had tried to build between him and you.

***

Nothing had changed, neither had Changkyun's disowned feelings for you when he saw you the next day, sitting close to the window and chatting with the girl you had arrived late with. You were lit by the morning rays of the sun, and it was as if he was going blind, seeing nothing except for you, shining like you already did back then. Having kept his mouth shut, having forbidden his inner emotions from getting released made him feel sick at your sight, chills running down his spine while his head was burning. Just like you had been, Changkyun was still having a difficult time to deal with the surprise comeback you had made in his life, and as his eyes were getting teary from the non-stop staring, he cursed himself when he heard his name called.

"Im Changkyun, am I right?"

You hadn't seen him coming in, so you looked behind you to see him sitting a few seats away. You pinched yourself but he didn't disappear, and your best friend didn't miss this chance to remind you how cursed you must be.

"Yes, ma'am" he said calmly as he stood up, under the eyes of the hundredth students in the room.

"Stop staring at this beautiful lady, would you? And come to the board to solve this problem instead" the teacher said, earning some laughs and boos but also your shocked look when you understood that she had been referring to yourself.

Changkyun shrugged nonchalantly and walked to the white board before taking the felt pen to write down an answer which, to your great surprise, was the right one. Everybody clapped him and the teacher jokingly added to your attention :

"He's already fond of you and he's smart, you can go to him, miss!"

You gulped and gazed over your shoulder to see Changkyun smile cockily, his left ankle resting on his right knee and his arms extended at his sides as if he was sitting in his sofa back home. But when you looked with more attention, you saw his ears turning red, sign of the embarrassment he was going through and that shook you twice more. Had he really been staring at you?

Nothing had changed, neither had chance that was against you since the very beginning of your relationship. Two days had gone by and you already were having a hard time ignoring Changkyun's ghost roaming around you, costing you his visits in your dreams where you couldn't escape and had to face his beautiful traits. For the very first time in your life, you were thankful to have loads of homework in no time, helping you to focus on anything but him, anything but the spark that won't stop from itching next to your heart, anything but your fate laughing at you.

Once again, you should have known better than to go down the path leading you towards him with your eyes closed, as it only made worse the times you had to face him inevitably. Indeed, until the end of the week, there wasn't a day where you didn't see him. In the hallways, in the classrooms and amphitheaters as his course had a lot of common classes with yours, in the cafeteria where he would sit in your sight wherever you would go, on the campus where he would play football with other boys… And every single time, you felt the hands of love pull at the strings of your heart, causing the same pain you had felt during all August after he had been an asshole, and that went on until Hwimin came into your life to untie them a little.

But their grip was ten times harder now, as you were realizing it had taken only a few days for your feelings you tried to bury to free themselves every time, as if they were zombies craving to eat up your heart. So what was going to happen to you as you were going to see him during all four seasons? Would you be able to move on?

It had just been a week, and you already weren't hating on him anymore, as all your brain did was betraying you every single time it diverted your eyes to his silhouette. Your best friend diagnosed you with the Stockholm syndrome, as you liked the person who had caused you so much pain and had been nothing else but rude to you, and she scolded you every once in a while when she caught you staring at him in class without even realizing it.

He wasn't paying attention to you like you did, as every time you watched he was talking joyfully with his new friends, or even seemed to be flirting with girls that appreciated his cocky demeanor as much as you did. And even if Solhee ended up making you pinky promise not to get flustered because of Im Changkyun and ignore him all year long so that he wouldn't hurt you anymore, how were you supposed to stay true to your word when even the university brought the two of you together continuously?

On the Monday of the second week, you had a law class about contracts between companies, which Changkyun attended too. Your hands were aching from all the definitions you were noting, and you felt relieved when the professor took a break to announce the first project you had to do. He split the students in two groups, each one having a company as a client, and you had to prepare your arguments to defend them in a contract conflict. He explained you'll get to advocacy before the class in groups of 4. Speaking in public wasn't really a matter to you as you were a good speaker and were used to talk with your parents' clients, but somehow this time you felt uneasy, especially because Changkyun was on your opponent's side and you feared fate would make you go against him.

You decided to go to the library to work on it after classes, around 5 pm. It was gigantic and full of quiet students, with their heads already in their books and computers, and it hit you that university gathered at least ten times the amount of students your high school had, making you regret your decision of stepping in as it was going to be a never-ending hunt. You finally rushed to the first place you saw in the corner of the immense room, at a table hidden between bookshelves, and you dropped your things on it before leaving to purchase the books you needed to study.

You were walking slowly between the wooden alleys, amazed at how organized they were, when you finally found your prey. But when you were about to put your hand on it to take it with you, another one coming from the other side of the bookshelf grasped it, and soon the work disappeared in front of your eyes. You bent to observe who was the person that had a hold of it through the shelves, willing to ask him or her to lend it to you just for one hour as it was the last one, but what you saw blocked your voice in your throat.

"I'm sorry Y/N, but I need this too" Changkyun whispered to your attention with a sly smile and wiggling brows, making you want to reach your hand above the books and smack him.

He blew you a kiss and you almost had a heart attack at this sight, freezing for a few seconds in your spot while your mouth had turned dry, but when he suddenly disappeared you sped up to catch him in his alley. However, Changkyun had already walked away and you sighed in defeat, going back to your place without paying attention to the boy in the seat in front of yours, a book opened wide before him. Until your eyes met his and you gasped, as every time he randomly appeared in front of you.

"You want it so bad that you followed me?" he whispered, leaning his elbows on the table and smiling – again – at you.

"I didn't see you, or I wouldn't be there, believe me." you replied, rolling your eyes at the same time.

You quickly put on your earphones, refusing to hear another octave coming from his low voice that made your body and heart quiver, and you did the best you could to concentrate on your law notes that scorched your cells, hoping you'd come up with at least one argument. However, as usual, Changkyun's presence ended up distracting you. He was so close you could smell his perfume again, a mix of something masculine and really fresh, that made you want to huddle against him as well as push him far away. He had put his black hood on his greyish hair that was messy on his forehead. You noticed how his lips were slightly apart, mouthing silently some words he seemed to be reading to remember, and you were amazed at the new side of him you were observing, the good student one, and you fell for it as well as you had with the others, not that it surprised you anymore.

When he suddenly lifted his head to look at you, you closed your eyes and feigned to be memorizing in your own but really weird way. You slowly opened them when you felt something slip to you, poking against your forearms on the table and you saw the book opened before you with Changkyun's hands spread on it.

"You can have it." he simply said before retiring his hands decorated with rings, which made his pianist's fingers even more beautiful.

"Are you really being nice to me for the first time in your life?" you asked, truly shocked by his sudden rush of kindness.

"Should I change my mind then?" Changkyun answered, starting to slide back the book to him.

You put your hands on his without thinking twice, regretting it the second you felt his skin under yours, but you were really desperate to use this book. The boy looked at your hands on his with curious eyes, his brows furrowed and his head tilted to the side, before inspiring some air with a weird noise.

"Why did you take it in the first place if you were going to use it for like…Ten minutes?" you mumbled shyly, starting to pull to your side of the table.

"It's been twenty, and I took pictures of what I needed."

He retired his hands under yours with an abrupt move that surprised you, a look of annoyance clear on his traits as he backed in his seat and poked his cheek with his tongue, and you slowly brought the book close to you, a familiar hot feeling creeping up your cheeks. Yes, he felt upset, because you didn't seem that flustered to have touched him while he had lost any sensations in his hands, putting them in the pockets of his hoodie so that you didn't see them tremble.

What he didn't notice though, was that you were hiding behind the book to prevent him from seeing how easy it was for him to fluster you. As time passed by, you finally forced yourself to work now that you had the book in your hands so no excuse to daydream, and the library started to empty itself as well as your table.

Changkyun wasn't willing to leave until you were, him too looking at you while you were working and feeling as swayed as you. Seeing your lips slightly swollen from how hard you were biting at them as you were concentrating made him think of that one time he had kissed you, and he wondered if it would feel the same if he did it with a sober mind, if he had only felt everything he had because of alcohol, or if doing it again would dangerously make him stop lying to himself.

Night fell soon, and the library was about to close when you tidied up your desk and picked up the books you had borrowed to put them back into their places. You felt satisfied with what you had crafted, even if you would have done twice its amount hadn't it been for Changkyun facing you, but you felt proud nonetheless as you overcame his presence. Students were hurrying around you to the exit but you didn't catch on the last warning the supervisor made as you still had music in your ears. You were in the archives' alleys, situated upstairs, and you were having a hard time trying to reach the shelf you had to put your last book on, when suddenly you felt someone behind you taking the work out of your hands and place it on your behalf.

You turned around to thank your savior but you were met with Changkyun's chest really close to yours, his right arm still frozen in the air above your head as you surprised him by moving so quickly, and you looked at each other without a word. His face was as close as when he had been about to kiss you, his small lips forming a thin line while yours were apart, and you felt your heart fly up to your throat, ready to go out and offer itself in his hands.

Suddenly, all the lights turned off. You jumped in fear, your chest bumping against his torso and instinctively, Changkyun got closer to you, pushing you against the bookshelf with his right hand grabbing the shelf he had been reaching, while his left arm wrapped itself around you in a protective way. You stopped breathing, suffocated by the unexpected physical contact you had for the first time, and even more because he didn't let go of you even by the time he should have realized how weird it was. When you realized how close he was, you couldn't prevent yourself from lifting your chin to try to look at his face – how stupid.

Then, even if you weren't really sure of what you were seeing because of the darkness, it seemed like he was starting to close the gap between your face and his. You panicked at this image so you closed your eyes, grasping the ends of your oversize shirt and tightening the fabric to the point your nails left their traces in your palms. You were about to make a move too, his lips calling for you and yours craving to taste them after so long, but as soon as you remembered the disastrous sequels of your first kiss and how it had meant nothing to him, you went out of your trance.

"Would you let me go?!" you finally exclaimed, the dim light of the moon and public lightning coming through the windows outlining his silhouette that took a step back, freeing you from his hug.

"I'm-I'm…sorry, I was s-surprised" he stuttered, scratching his neck with his hand.

He had had his nose in your hair that smelled like honey and flowers, and he surely got drunk for a second because of it, losing track of time and his primary senses that would have warned him he was being creepy by keeping you in his arms. And the moment he had seen you look at him and your lips so close to his, he had felt the same way he had the first time he had had this privilege, the desire to kiss you pushing his neck forward towards you. Had you noticed his attempt?

"Sure, fuckboy" you hissed, annoyed by the return of your wobbling legs at his touchy behavior.

Had he even tried to kiss you? Or wasn't it you who imagined things because that's what you had wanted? In either way, you felt dizzy just by thinking you had been ready to initiate a kiss or wish for one even after all the things he had done to you.

"Hey, that was-"

You quickly grabbed your phone in the back pocket of your jeans and activated its lamp, and before he could answer to your insult, you went down the big spiral staircase in a rush, shouting the intendant's name, in vain. You were alone in the library, in the dark, and you ran towards the entry to discover you were locked up. You started to bang on the door and call for any help, but you saw through the glasses that the hallways were as dark and empty as the room you were in. People sure know how to hurry themselves when they're heading home.

"Would you come down and help me?" you shouted to his attention, returning to the back of the library.

"What for? There's nobody, and I'm fine being locked in here, at least I have all the books I want right now and no one to annoy me" he answered without bothering to go down.

"Are you kidding me?!"

"Would you stop screaming?" he hissed, his voice also getting higher. "I almost forgot you when I said no one to annoy me... Go get panicked on your own, I'm fine looking at everything I want right now."

You scoffed, disbelief and irritation gaining you and you started to walk back and forth in the big room to expel it. Was he really going to be difficult in such a situation?

"Did they check on us? Did they call us? Because I swear if they did and you didn't tell me I'm gonna kill you!" you started to fulminate again while Changkyun was still upstairs, but a hand on his heart to feel its crazy beating after having held and almost kissed you, instead of admiring the books like he had said.

So she's okay with what just happened? Didn't she tell me she likes me? Is it over? Why am I the one dying here?

"Why would you think I'd do this?" he asked in return, his voice almost a moan as he was dealing with his emotions, while his face was turning red and sweat was drooling on his body.

"I don't know, the second the lights turn down, you take me in your arms like some creepy guy and now you have no problem staying locked here with me, so maybe that's your fuckboy thing…"

So she didn't notice.

"Aish here you go again. Since when am I a fuckboy?"

You stopped in your tracks and lifted your head to where the archives were, discovering he was in the same spot you had left him.

"What a great way to appreciate books, standing still" you pointed, crossing your arms on your chest.

"Since when am I a fuckboy?" he reiterated in a more serious tone, this time walking to the rope separating the floor from the void under his feet.

"Since I've seen you at the pool party." you immediately answered to see his face contort in an expression of confusion.

You couldn’t be stuck in here with him, and the situation itself was driving you crazy. You wouldn't survive being alone with him another time, you knew it, as you were already struck by the symptoms he poisoned your body with each time. Do not get flustered, you promised Y/N. However, you had started to when you had almost succumbed to your deepest temptation the second you had landed your eyes on his face close to yours.

Changkyun stopped breathing as your words hit his throat like a knife, and he felt sorry again for what he had done to you. But what eased his mind was, as you had expected and were regretting, he also caught that the pool party was still lingering in your mind as it did in his.

"It was just a game, Y/N." he said, but in reality it was more to reassure himself.

You felt your heart compress itself, apparently still affected by this stupid kiss and how he hadn't felt the same things you had. Nope, he didn't try to kiss you girl. Amazing, you're seeing things now.

Changkyun's eyes opened wide as he saw your traits decompose at his answer, remembering it hadn't been just a game for you back then. Shit Im Changkyun.

"Yeah sure, thanks for reminding me captain obvious." you mumbled.

"What? You wanted it to be something else? Ah right, you liked it..."

His dumbass and playful mind spoke on his behalf and he bit his tongue a little too late. What are you doing Changkyun?

You shot him a deadly glare in payback of the deadly arrow he just had shot you, burning from rage and embarrassment. You were about to scream at him to fuck off, but when you saw a trash can in front of you full off crushed papers, you stormed to it under his scared eyes, and you came back in his sight to throw some at him, your arms trembling from the overfull of emotions.

"Are-you-fucking-kidding-me?!" you finally screamed, each word accompanied by a ball of paper.

Changkyun was so surprised that he only defended himself at the third shot, stepping back to where you couldn't reach him.

"How dare you say something like that?! You're fucking disgusting! Who do you think you are?!"

"Hey hey hey ! I'm sorry! I was just kidding, why are you taking it that seriously? Calm down!" he apologized, extending his hands before him to surrender.

You didn't know what to answer, as it was risking to admit you were that affected because you still had feelings for him and that the souvenir he had brought up was the most painful one to you, even more now that you had been about to play it again. With him making fun of it above all, just made your heart ache as it showed you another time he was only on the receiving end, not giving you anything in return that could be close to him liking you.

"I was listening to my music too, Y/N. I couldn't hear them" he spoke up as he looked at you from his height. "So stop your assumptions and imagining things about me, it's pretty annoying."

You felt overpowered by him as he was staring at you, lazily leaned on the wooden rope.

"I know how much of a jerk you can be, sorry for making scenarios that suit you too damn well." you replied back while you started to search for the university's number on the internet.

"Y/N I-"

"Hello? Yes, we're two students locked up in the library and…"

Changkyun stopped listening to what you were saying as an internal struggle took place in his mind, a part of him dying to snatch your phone from your hands as he wanted this moment to last, another one screaming as usual to "stand his ground" and to play the indifferent one. But the more he was standing still and looking at you, shining upon the darkness of the room surrounding you, the more his leg was jumping up and down from torment, and he stopped the debate by going straight to you. He had just reached the last step and was about to take action when your last words petrified him :

"Yes, thank you."

You turned around and when you saw him right behind you, you gasped and took a step back.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"N-Nothing… I wanted to hear what the watchman was saying, that's all."

"Couldn't you wait like normal people would do?"

"You know I'm not" he seemingly joked, a smile curving his lips and giving him that jerk vibe you hated and loved so much at the same time. You must be crazy Y/N.

"He said he's sending someone but it'll take a little time as we are at the other side of the campus. Now stay away from me."

"I'm sorry about earlier" he reiterated in a low, almost hushed tone, and you looked at him without moving further as you had planned to, and the obscurity around you participated to your loss of focus on anything except for him.

"About what? There are too many things a jerk like you should be sorry for you know" you finally replied, averting your gaze to your phone.

You couldn't look at him anymore. Not with his face under the moonlight, not when your mouth was burning as it was dying to crash against his the more you looked at it.

"Then I'm sorry for whatever is fine by you" he said, taking a step forward and motioning his hands towards you, before putting them back in his hoodie's pockets when he saw you hadn't noticed.

He couldn't have been weaker than how he was at this right instant, but Changkyun finally felt he won't resist to you any longer, even more now that you didn't seem within his reach as you had been 6 months ago. He clearly saw in the way you looked and talked to him, that you had learned to despise him as he had wanted ; but crossing your path again had shaken him to the core, every part of him guided by fear, but not the one to love you, no ; the one to lose you. He had found you again, he had felt something again, and now that you were the one pushing him away, it was awakening his male instincts to run after you. Holding a girl in his arms hadn't felt this right, wanting to kiss her but not being able to had never killed and stimulated him the way it did now.

"I'm not interested, that's too easy" you chuckled. "And I still don't get why you're nice to me, but whatever your reason is, just stop."

Deep inside though, you were going crazy because of his identity changes in no time, from the mean giber to the nice charmer, and also because of how you managed to like every single part of him. What was happening to him? Why was he apologizing? You weren't going to fall for it ; it probably was in his favor and not in yours if you did.

"Aish, why are you being so difficult? I'm apologizing here!" he growled, his hand fumbling in his hair and when he turned his head to the side, his eyes caught one ray of the moon that made them shine like two stars in the deep galaxy you were sinking in.

You sneered, satisfied to see him destabilized and annoyed at your rejection, and you turned your back to him before walking to a seat that had been behind you.

"What about we share what we did for the law class? Then we can go together and have a great mark" he proposed as he sat in the middle of the stairs, with a little voice expressing his shyness as well as his fingers he was playing with between his legs.

"Ah, I see why you apologized, I was sure you wanted to get something from me. No thanks, I'm not interested in that either."

"I told you to stop making assumptions! It wasn't for that!" he complained. "I just saw you were having a hard time earlier and my father is a business lawyer so I could help! But fine!"

Changkyun lost his temper, slouching against the steps behind him and he looked at the ceiling to calm down, frustrated at how you kept putting his attempts at bay. He didn't know what to do ; still, he couldn't prevent himself from trying to reach you. And even when you annoyed him like you were right now, he couldn't find the strength he had had before to stand his ground as his armor had left him the second he had felt you close to him.

***

Guilty. You felt guilty for having been swayed so easily one more time. You felt guilty for having waited for your intern alarm to ring to stop yourself from kissing him, when you shouldn't have wanted to in the first place. Most of all, you felt guilty when you thought of how quick you seemed to have move on from your relationship with Hwimin, not thinking of him at all as Changkyun had your brain in his hands along with your heart now.

But at least, you were willing to try not to be convicted guilty by the jury today, as the day of the mock trials had come. During the week following your confinement in the library, you had caught Changkyun's gaze on you when you had thought he didn't care, but you had chosen to stop playing films in your mind or see things like you had as it only pushed you over the edge where a loveless relationship was waiting for you.

You had a hard time to fall asleep the night before, as you didn't feel confident in what you had planned to say to save your fake client, so when you arrived in the amphitheater, holding your notes close to you even once you were seated, you were oddly about to cry. What was happening to you? You had prepared, so what was wrong? Since when did you let your personal feelings interfere into your work life instead of dealing with it?

Changkyun noticed how pale you were when you entered and he didn't prevent himself from looking at you, concern arising in his chest. You hadn't addressed him a word after his offer in the library, simply sitting on your chair and your eyes glued to your phone. You both had waited for an intendant to come and free you from your prison of books, in a silence that had been as unbearable to Changkyun as white noise. He had opened and closed his mouth from time to time, searching for what he could say to make you talk to him or reachable again ; however, he hadn't dared, letting himself contemplate your silhouette in awe instead. He had made his decision that night, the one to chase you until you won't be afraid of him anymore, the one to do what he hadn't done back then, the one to finally assume his feelings for you as not doing so was only torturing him.

However, chance had decided to put some obstacles on his way to you once again, as the teacher picked both his name and yours to go against one another. You froze in your spot and dared to look at your opponent with unpleased eyes, but Solhee held your arm reassuringly, which gave you a boost of confidence. However, it was only a small one, only sufficient to help you go to the stage without falling because of your trembling legs. But when the guy you liked joined you, you could feel him absorb every ounce of assurance you had in you like the black hole he was, and you started to bit your bottom lip with anticipation.

Changkyun had begged any force above him to prevent you and him to go together, but it seemed he hadn't been heard. He was well prepared, maybe too much, but with his father's help and signature in his pleading, he knew he was about to crush any opponent he was going to face with his sledgehammer arguments. How he had wished it hadn't been you.

You could see how ready he was in the way he was walking before sitting next to the teacher on the platform to hear you first ; he even had styled his hair and put on suit pants with derbies. Shit, he's handsome. You had dared to put a dressy blouse, white with elegant embroideries, but you felt ridiculous next to him who had natural charism and an aura that devoured everything around you – and seemingly around all the girls that were staring at him lovingly.

You displayed your notes on the teacher's desk and started to talk with the best poker face you had, your hands linked together and your voice the loudest it could be with the stress lacing your throat. Changkyun was admiring you as you were defending your non-existent client, touching your hair from time to time without even realizing it, stuttering at the beginning of some sentences but never failing to keep on. He could see how anxious you were as you went back and forth on stage, pointing at him with less conviction than a real lawyer would, not daring to look your audience in the eye like you were doing with the market's clients, and he felt even sorrier to be speaking after as he knew he was more than prepared. He was formatted. His father had made him repeat again and again his speech, wanting his son to obtain a top mark as he had helped him. And if it hadn't been for him and for the time he had spared, Changkyun would have let you win or would have been less harsh. Unfortunately, he couldn't.

So he stood up at the end of your pleading, letting the students applaud you while the teacher was taking notes silently, and he placed himself right in front of the desk, his notes behind him without bothering to look at them. He didn't need to. He looked at you one last time over his shoulder, catching the distress in your pupils as well as some regret because you didn't do it perfectly like you had wanted to, but he had to put on the skin of a lawyer determined to win this case, and staring at you was only going to persuade him not to. He turned back to the rest of the room, and the moment he started to speak, you knew, the students knew, the teacher knew.

The moment he used humor, the moment he interacted with his fake jury, the moment he managed to smile, the moment his voice was the loudest you've ever heard and his words the fairest you've ever known coming from him, everybody knew he just had crushed you and that he had won. He was being the heartless business lawyer you've always pictured in your mind, so that when he looked at you and said your pleading was ridiculous before pointing at everything you said to turn it into shit, you felt tears pricking under your eyelids. Was it his revenge for you turning down his offer to collaborate?

Still, he was wonderful as a lawyer, with his deep tone captivating everyone's attention and his gait the most assured he had ever pulled ; with his perfect diction and his cocky demeanor perfectly in its place ; and you were already hanging your head low in defeat as you heard how loud the cheers were as well as the claps from your teacher.

Nevertheless, you hadn't expected the latter to be as harsh with you as he was about to be. You just wanted to go back to your place and let the students forget about your poor performance by seeing the following ones, but you ignored the teacher had chosen to do a feedback right after, in front of everyone.

"Well well well… I guess we all agree about who the winner is, right?"

The never ending cheers and calls for Changkyun's name were pressing your urge to cry, feeling mortified and disappointed at yourself. You had worked hard, but obviously, when it had to do with him, you always ended up in a situation of shame and deception. Changkyun was looking at you from the corner of his eye, his hands behind his back and his body swaying back and forth between his heels and his toes, as he was hanging on for the verdict.

"Im Changkyun, congratulations! You have to follow your father's steps!"

The boy bowed and you didn't dare to look at him, your eyes glued to your shoes as you only waited for this moment to end. His glory was your despair, his smile was your tears, his happiness was your suffering, and you couldn't handle it anymore. You still heard his speech in your mind, remembering every single adjective he employed to qualify your arguments, every single mockery he had made that had replaced the memory every student in the room would have of it, not even recognizing your hard work.

"Y/L/N Y/N… I hope you're not expecting to become a business lawyer, you don't have the cloth for it… I was yawning during your pleading, you had no confidence and your arguments, well, there were good ones but how you brought them… So regretful! I read your parents are market sellers, I hope you express yourself better when you talk with clients because I wonder how you convince them otherwise! I'm saying this for you of course; it's just that you need to be… more persuasive, hm?"

Changkyun shot a panicked glare to the teacher who was expecting your reaction, and some students started to whisper and laugh quietly while others were feeling sorry for you, which you hated even more. You didn't want anyone to pity you, it made you feel even more ridiculous. You caught the stare of your best friend in the crowd, her eyes filled with sorrow as you started to chuckle, laughing at yourself without even realizing it. Then, you only nodded, swallowing back your tears as you sadly smiled to your class.

"Sir, I think she also did a great job it was really hard for me to rebound on everything she said, she was well prepared" Changkyun suddenly spoke up, and you stared at him with anger in your eyes, unable to understand how he could play the nice one again when he had just trampled on you seconds ago.

"Ayyyyy, don't be so nice, there's a reason why you won and by evident majority boy! You can dispose! Now, who's next? After a performance like this one, I'm sure everyone's scared!"

You were knocked out. You went up to your sit and heard a few "You did well Y/N" on your way, but you didn't care. The teacher had humiliated you in a way that hurt too bad for you to recover from it anytime soon. Bringing up your parents in front of everyone, exposing your family's situation to judge you, was the worst he could have done, and he had. Solhee tried to grab you by the hand but you gently dismissed her, and for the last 45 minutes, you didn't hear nor pay attention to the wannabe-lawyers speaking in front of you. None of them received the same ovation as Changkyun, but he wasn't feeling victorious at all ; he had just torn your work apart so, once again, he was the reason you were about to cry and he hated himself for that.

When the bell rang, you told Solhee you wanted to be alone and you stormed to the exit, needing some fresh air and a quiet place to cry your heart out as it was drowned in your sadness. And as guilty as ever, once again running behind you as if he was attracted like a magnet, Changkyun caught your wrist as you had started to cross the grass to go straight to a lonely tree, as lonely as you.

"Y/N! I'm sorry I-"

You turned on your heels and shook your arm off his grasp abruptly, making his eyes open wide. Seeing your tear-stained face as well as anger in your eyes threw him back to the pool party, and his stomach started to knot.

"Oh save it Im Changkyun the greatest! Leave me alone!"

You moved forward again, but you felt his hand grab yours another time. And like the time at the pool party, you cried even more, but thankfully there were only the both of you on this side of the campus.

"Don't cry, you did really well he's just an asshole!"

"Oh no, what he said was right and you can't agree more can you? You said everything he thinks in your speech when you ridiculed my work! You wanted to help me last week? My ass! I'm pretty sure if I had given you any of my arguments in advance, I would've been murdered by your words by now! But well done! You won, congrats Changkyun! Now leave me the fuck alone!" you said as you started to applaud him.

You couldn't bear his face anymore, your heart was ripped and facing the one it had foolishly been beating for since summertime was killing it.

"You have no right to give me intentions I don't have, Y/N! I really wanted to help you, you refused but I'm over it! I didn't expect to go against you, you know? I told you I had my father to help me, it's all thanks to him, I would've said the same things with any of my opponents!"

"Oh really? You perfectly quoted my sentences before telling it's shit though, I doubt your father had predicted that or that everyone speaks like me so stop it already!" you burst out, your feet moving backwards two times, your need to be alone screaming at you to satisfy it.

Changkyun moved forward, matching his steps along with yours. He had made his decision, but unlike the previous ones he hadn't been able to stick to, this time he was sure of what he was doing, and his guts were there to help him carry it. He liked you, he fucking liked you, every cell of his brain, every beat of his heart, every motion of his body was telling it, so he was going to move forward to you, he was going to walk to you on the path chance had decided to trace between the both of you, and without being scared anymore.

"Listen to me Y/N" he tried.

"You can't stop humiliating me. It's like at the pool party. I'm crying again because of your stupid ass, and here you come to face me anyway." you said with a smile while tears were still wetting your cheeks, but you didn't care, no ; you were more than okay with him seeing how awful he was.

"Listen to me." he reiterated with a serious tone, his sharp eyes piercing you and giving you the same damn chills.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" you shouted, pushing him suddenly, but what he did next caught you by surprise.

Changkyun held your wrists in the air before you could retract them, and he pulled at them to get you only a few inches from his body, his eyes landing on you under him and you saw, for the first time again, how determined he was.

"And I won't until you'll have listened to me." he hissed, your hands still in the air along with his, and when you tried to free yourself, he didn't even budge. "I'm tired of you speaking on my behalf, giving me intentions I don't even have and interpreting things wrongly. I've been quiet for too long, I've been a coward, but not anymore."

Your heart quickened its pace, and the tears instantly stopped from coming as you were shook by his boldness.

"Let go of me and I'll listen to you."

He instantly did and you took a few steps backwards, unable to stay that close to him as you knew what effect it had on you since the time at the library.

"I didn't want to humiliate you, never, ever. Not the first time at the pool party, not this time… I went after you out of concern, not with the intention to make you feel bad or whatever you're thinking. I'm here because I hate to see you cry… nothing else Y/N." he said calmly, his eyes never leaving your face that you were wiping as you were slowly processing the words you were hearing.

"Bullshit. I don't believe you. Since when you care." you answered, shaking your head from left to right in disbelief.

What is he saying? Him? Concerned?

"What I told you at the library remains sincere : I truly am sorry for what I did to you, back then. Kissing a girl in front of you and smiling at you when I already knew you liked me… Laughing at your feelings for me… Running away from you after you had confessed…"

"Stop it already!" you interfered, refusing to hear him talk about something so precious and so painful for you as if he was talking about the weather.

He walked to you once more but you didn't move, too tired to escape and only wanting him to finish his talking quickly so that you'll be able to go away. He was beautiful, the grey weather becoming brighter with him in the landscape, his white shirt shining and his hair styled perfectly, while his earrings gave him something more that you weren't going to handle for long.

"I now know why I've been doing all of this…" he started, trailing at the end of his sentence as he was searching for the right words. "I was a fucking coward, I was fucking scared of what you had done to me in no time. And I still am, yeah, but I'm sure that we're not meeting every time so randomly. I think there's a reason… And because I'm pushed towards you all the time, I have to stop denying and admit it…"

"No. No no no. Shut up. Stop" you mumbled, panic rising in your chest as his hands were slowly coming to brush your hair.

His eyes were still locked on yours, and you saw that their pupils didn't tremble nor avoided your gaze, showing you how assured he was. Changkyun's heart was beating slowly for the first time he was near you, proving him he was more than sure of his feelings and encouraging him to confess, even if the look of defiance in your eyes was killing him. It's not too late. Is it…?

"I like you, Y/N. I'm sorry, but I like you. I'm sorry for being so late. But jeez, I've liked you since this summer."

Your jaw dropped, your eyes mirrored your shock as some tears formed in their corners while they were wide open. But the second his hands caressed your hair, you felt a wave of anger carry you.

"I don't believe you. I don't fucking believe you. You gotta be kidding me" you spat, pushing his hands away from your head in a quick move.

You saw his face fall into worry, but then he looked away and sighed, as if he had prepared himself for this answer and wasn't going to get affected by it. You started to laugh sarcastically, combing your hair with one hand before letting it fall to your side, your body flabby from the electroshock of emotions.

"I'm sure of how I feel. I told you you need to stop thinking for me, you're not in my head" he answered, his voice monotone and he looked at you again, his hands now in the pockets of his black suit pants.

You couldn't believe it. You didn't believe him. You didn't want to. He had no right to like you back after all this time. He had no right to reclaim your love after pushing you away all this time.

"You can't possibly like me, or you would never have treated me that way. And I hate you. I hate all of you. You're so selfish for thinking I would wait for you forever. You took me for granted, didn't you? Who do you think you are?!" you pursued, starting to poke his chest angrily but he didn't stop you, knowing perfectly he deserved this kind of reaction.

"I like you." he said again, blinking slowly as he did so but not failing to keep his eyes on yours so that you would trust him.

Those three words made you sick with the usual symptoms, but this time an ounce of happiness was opening the wings of some butterflies in your stomach, while the spark in your chest was burning as it never did.

"And I hate you. Fuck you, Changkyun. Fuck you!" you exclaimed again, your voice raspy because of the sobs that were threatening to come.

"I'll prove it to you" he assured with his beautiful low voice that entered your body to move you to the core.

"I won't believe you, ever. I don't even care. Get out of my sight." you finally cracked, your voice weakening.

Unexpectedly, Changkyun nodded silently and he started to part from you, firstly by going backwards to look at you one more time, then turning around, and all you could see was his broad back getting smaller and smaller. He was getting out of reach like he had always been, and even if a part of you was aching to run after him and return his feelings, another one couldn't sort things out and hadn't recover from the hurt he had caused you.

How could he be liking you when he had let himself hurt you the way he did? How could he suddenly open his eyes on his feelings and think you'd say yes? How awful was it for him to unveil his feelings once he had felt ready, without taking into account how you had suffered from thinking it had been one sided all this time?

***

To be continued...

A/N : Thank you thank you thank you again… I think there’ll be only two more parts! I’m writing Part 4 right now, I’ll post it soon!

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