#And so far Raffles (although I know that won't last)

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Yet More Forbidden Activities at Site (REDACTED)

By order of the Administrator and O5 Counsel, the following activities are added to the Forbidden List. Any attempt at any activities on this list will be met with the harshest discipline. Consider yourselves warned, especially you, Dr. Bright.

Not allowed to recreate any weapon from the Dead Space series. No, not even to fight victims of the Clockwork Virus. Save it for the Ishimura, kids.

No using time travel to win bets. That's violating the Temporal Prime Directive, and 05-5 is still mad about last year's Tour de France.

No recreating anything from Doom. No, not even Doomguy to attempt termination of 682.

No one is to challenge 076-2 to Mortal Kombat. There are less... messy ways of committing suicide.

Whomever gave Dr. Bright the comic books... the Red Right Hand is coming.

Leave the video game weapons where they belong: in the games. Yes, even the exploding chickens, Dr. Clef. Although the Chaos Insurgency was not expecting that... all the damage to Site Facilities isn't worth it.

No more roller derby. Dr. Meeter broke her leg, her nose, the wall, half the opposing team, and the coach's arm. Before the match began.

If it involves any combination of chainsaws and explosives... NO.

No frying turkeys on site. Don't ask why.

No one is giving tours here. No one should be selling tickets for these tours, let alone offering a date with an anomaly as a raffle prize. Knock. It. Off!

There never was a Dr. Wesker, we have no ties to the Umbrella Corporation as they are FICTIONAL, we do not have any variant of the T, G, C, or Urobouros viruses, nor the antivirals for such things. We do not have the Harran Virus, there is no Antizen, and no such person as Agent Kyle Crane. We do have an Agent Crane, but anyone calling her 'Kyle' is likely to get nut punched.

We have our own Occult Sciences division, there is rarely a need to 'hire out'. So... whomever allowed John Constantine on site... run. You really shouldn't have done that.

Stealing your coworkers' coffee is a low, dirty trick. We hope your mother is proud of you.

No more abstract art in public areas. 073 spent an hour trying to figure out how a clock could melt but tell time.

Full clothing is required for both anomalies and staff during interviews and experiments. Even if we need to sew certain individuals into their trousers.

No. More. Real. Life. Duck. Hunt! Unless the ducks being hunted are Chaos Insurgency. Then... shotgun.

No more Calvinball. Dr. Clef gets too... competitive.

294 is for normal consumable liquids only. Anyone requesting anything else will suffer consequences. Remember the "Cup of Abel" incident? He was... not amused. Nor are we.

Stun batons are for combat and training only. No, not THAT type of training. I swear, some of you are impossible.

No one is to lead ANYONE on a leash. Save the weird-as-hell stuff for alone time.

Do not argue with O5. Just don't.

During raids, if it looks suspicious, shoot first, apologize later. Check every cardboard box, every nook and cranny. The Insurgency hired a bunch of rogue yoga instructors and contortionist for "better ambushing". Check everything. And if in doubt, EMP first, shoot second, apologize later if needed. Light bending camo is a thing, and ours won't be affected by the EMP.

Cover. Your. Faces. Facial recognition software exists. Can't be part of a super secret world saving organization if everybody knows it's just Dave from the pub. Also, if you must have a significant other on the outside, burner phones.

Yeah, whomever gave Dr. Clef his own 'Lucille', O5 is sending someone to go Neggan on your head. Clef is dangerous enough.

Guns are ranged weapons. Clubs, batons, knives, and hammers are melee weapons. Anyone confusing the two will be shown the difference. With live ammunition. By our best marksman, Agent Strelnikof. If they survive, it's on to melee weapons training with 076-2. Again, assuming survival, final exam is a brief interlude with 682. Guns for far off, baton, blade, or hammer up close. It's not neurosurgery.

#scp foundation #tales from site redacted #notice from scp site command #notice from o5

[gayness-and-mayhem]

There must be so many things that I've never seen the last episode of just because I don't want it to end.

#To be clear I don't mean things that are on TV now where there's a good chance there'll be more #I mean like 1970s/80s boxsets #Comedy not so much #But things like Blake's 7 #And so far Raffles (although I know that won't last) #I don't think I've ever seen thelast episode of Granada Holmes #Ik 2point4 Children is a comedy but I've not seen the last episode of that #Ik it's not exactly the same but I've been holding off watching Doctor Who: The War Games for similar reasons #I genuinely don't know if I watched the end of Merlin #Horrible Histories... #Jeeves and Wooster I definitely never watched the end #Don't think I saw the end of House #It took me a really long time to watch the last episode of The Professionals #There are more but I can't think of them #Idk why or how it started but sometimes I genuinely can't bring myself to watch last episodes #Is that weird? #I feel like that's weird #Text post #Personal