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#And since I'm a newer fan I don't have the right to be so mad
thegeminisage · 1 year
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So You Want To Get Into The Legend of Zelda But Don't Know Where To Start: A Masterpost
this discussion came up in my zelda stream the other week so i thought since i'm a longtime fan and Extremely Normal i'd make a guide to people who are just now getting into the series because of breath of the wild/tears of the kingdom. there's a lot of games and it can be confusing on how they're connected, where to start, etc. this is going to be an EXTREMELY LONG guide, sorry - if you want a short version you can check out this post i wrote a long time ago.
The Timeline
so the good news is that the zelda games were published non-linearly, meaning that the game that takes place first chronologically was not necessarily the first one ever made. they didn't even HAVE a timeline until like 2011 or so. for that reason, with a few exceptions*, you can jump in pretty much wherever you like. most zelda games (or pairs of games*) are spaced hundreds or sometimes even thousands of years apart, featuring different links and zeldas and other characters, which means you don't need to know anything about zelda to start with any game. the series is deliberately made so that each title works perfectly well as a stand-alone game.
*the exception is that a very few games have direct sequels - for example, majora's mask takes places just a few years after ocarina of time, phantom hourglass takes place after wind waker, etc. luckily even with these games, you can still jump in without having played their other half and have a good time without getting lost.
The Introduction
that said, the zelda series is extremely eclectic. while they all have the undercurrent of "zeldaness" that makes them special they can be as different as night and day. 2D or 3D, happy or edgy, mainline or spinoff, story-heavy or story-light...which game is best for you to start with will depend heavily on your own personal tastes.
the short version: if you haven't yet, i recommend most people new to zelda start with either ocarina of time or breath of the wild. these games, released almost 20 years apart, were both completely revolutionary and redefined their genres (or, in oot's case, the entire industry). they usually have something to offer everyone and they're both games with standout tutorial sections that teach new players the lay of the land with ease. there's a reason most people start with one of these two - which one you prefer depends on whether you can enjoy an older game or would prefer something newer. for brand-new gamers, i might also recommend skyward sword because of how much the game holds your hand - it's frustrating for more experienced players, but for those just getting started in gaming in general it might actually work out well.
the long version: OBVIOUSLY i'm going to do a game-by-game write-up. sue me. if you're looking for information on a particular title, ctrl+f it. otherwise, settle in. time for a cut!
The Games
how to read this guide:
which games: most of them. this guide is long enough as it is, so i'm not doing a whole ass writeup for REALLY niche spin-offs like the tingle games, the crossbow training game, the bs releases, or the much-loathed cdi games, even if i think the crossbow game ruled. i will do hyrule warriors and cadence of hyrule because they're properly fleshed out games. ports and remakes are gonna get grouped together with the originals to save time and space. if there's something missing from this list you want to know about, the wikipedia article with the complete list of zelda media is right here and it's a genuinely fascinating read. have fun!!
release date: self-explanatory. using japanese release dates for overall accuracy, and the games are in order of release date as well, but you DO NOT need to play them in that order - that would be madness
console: original console, other consoles it's available on (not including the weird experimental stuff like satellaview, c'mon), and whether or not it is available for switch. why? the switch is the latest console, how many new fans got into zelda, and because of nso, it will be the easiest access point for people who can't or don't want to buy new consoles/emulate on pc. nso stands for "nintendo switch online," which is a the online membership you can purchase from nintendo. the basic plan allows, among other things, emulation nes, snes, and gameboy titles. the expansion pack tier adds emulation of n64, sega genesis, and gameboy advance titles. i think nso is a good service with great value if you can afford it - read about it here. virtual console is just buying the game, usually for a low price, and downloading it digitally to play on newer consoles, but most of those services have been shut down now. there's also backwards compatibility - the wii u can play wii games, the wii can play gcn games, the original ds (and ds lite) can play gameboy advance games, and the gameboy advance (and gameboy sp) can play gameboy and gameboy color games. the snes can also play gameboy and gameboy color games with the super gameboy, and the gcn can play gameboy, gameboy color, and gameboy advanced games with the gameboy player.
average playtime: this comes from howlongtobeat.com - if it seems off, take it up with them
mainline game: this just means whether or not this game was a "big entry" into the series - typically, mainline games are devloped by nintendo directly (though nintendo develops side-games too), and they have a higher budget and a longer dev time, but this doesn't necessarily mean they're better - some mainline games are received more poorly than the ones that aren't mainline. also sometimes people argue about which games count as mainline games so take it with a grain of salt
sequel: whether or not a game is directly tied to another game in the series - again, even if they are tied to another game, you don't HAVE to play that other game first
story-heavy: how many cutscenes/cinematics/character stuff is going on
edge level: how much grimdark and serious stuff is present and how "on-screen" it is. zelda games are infamous for a careful balance of cheerful and dark stuff in all games, but some games are more forthright about the darker elements than others. i prefer those, but you may prefer it the other way!
the premise/the good/the bad/the verdict: the actual write-up. unfortunately not even i have played/finished every zelda game (someday...), so for the games i can't speak on personally, i will make a note on it so you can seek a second opinion.
now let's get started!
The Legend of Zelda (1986)
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original console: nintendo entertainment system
available on switch: yes, with nso (basic)
also available on: gcn & gba (ports), gcn (gameboy player), wii, wii u, 3ds (virtual console), original ds (backwards compatibility), pc (emulation)
average playtime: 8-10 hours
mainline game: yes
sequel: no
story-heavy: no - in fact, for games in this era, reading the instruction manual is a must if you want story content; because the file size had to stay small, story content that couldn't fit was often added to manual instead
edge level: low
the premise: explore hyrule to find and put together eight fragments of the triforce so you can rescue princess zelda from ganon, prince of darkness.
the good: a solid introduction to the series, you can waste HOURS exploring this game, which is kind of a miracle considering the whole thing is only 128kb. (if you enjoy emulation, any computer will be able to play this. like doom, it could probably run on a microwave.) it's charming enough for when it was made and the music is all catchy as hell, even though it contains only a dozen or so tracks. this game is pretty light on puzzles, but most of the fun comes from the exploration - in fact, it was this game that the dev team for botw drew inspiration from when they were trying to figure out how to "reinvent" the zelda series - what they actually did was take it back to its roots.
the bad: well, it's that you can waste HOURS exploring in this game. back when it was released, the intent was to get players talking to one another - you would get one piece of the map explored and fine one secret, your friend would find and explore a different piece and find other secrets, and you'd trade! many people even had their own hand-drawn maps put together one screen at a time. since it really isn't possible to play this way today unless you get a bunch of friends together to do it blind, you almost certainly need a map or guide for this game when you're doing it on your own, otherwise you're never going to get anywhere, because there aren't usually indications that certain walls are bombable or bushes burnable.
the verdict: if you're a veteran who liked alttp (particularly the combat), if you have a high tolerance for aged games, or if you wanna see what this series looked like during its humble beginnings, you will like this game. if you're looking for a more guided experience or something with a lot of cinematics or puzzle-solving, pass. don't forget to read the manual!
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (1987)
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original console: nintendo entertainment system
available on switch: yes, with nso (basic)
also available on: gcn & gba (ports), gcn (gameboy player), wii, wii u, 3ds (virtual console), original ds (backwards compatibility), pc (emulation)
average playtime: 11 hours
mainline game: yes
sequel: yes, to the original legend of zelda
story-heavy: no - ditto for story being in the manual, like with the original loz
edge level: low
the premise: dive into six ancient palaces to place crystals there to wake princess zelda from an era long gone, who has been sleeping for hundreds of years. avoid being caught by ganon's minions, who want to use link's blood to revive their master ganon.
the good: because this game began life as an independent title which eventually got zelda-fied, it's quite different from most games in the series. it has side-scrolling combat and rpg elements. the soundtrack is very catchy, and this game also introduces dark link, an extremely cool popular doppelganger of our beloved hero. the map is HUGE in comparison to the original so there's tons more to explore here.
the bad: this game is HARD. not, "challenging," like, "bordering on impossible." i've never beaten it. i got just a couple of dungeons in and i was so miserable i had to give it up. even playing the "special edition" on nso (which is with all the unlockable upgrades to make it easier), it's a fucking slog. that's it! that's the only flaw.
the verdict: even with all its good qualities, even with how fresh it feels, it's so damn frustrating that only gluttons for punishment and very unique souls will truly find joy here. if you do decide to brave it, remember to read the instruction manual.
A Link to the Past (1991)
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original console: super nintendo entertainment system
available on switch: yes, with nso (basic)
also available on: gba (port), gcn (gameboy player), wii, wii u, 3ds (virtual console), original ds (backwards compatibility), pc (emulation)
average playtime: 15-17 hours
mainline game: yes
sequel: no
story-heavy: medium. this was the first game to actually HAVE a proper story with named characters and extended dialogue. it wouldn't be considered story-heavy by today's standards, though.
edge level: medium, but like, on the high end of medium
the premise: one stormy night, link and his uncle receive a telepathic message from zelda begging for aid. link's uncle goes out into danger and doesn't return, so it's up to lik to go rescue her in his stead. from there you'll have to explore hyrule to locate the master sword, and explore the mysterious golden land behind the seal of the seven wise men to locate their missing descendants.
the good: alttp set the blueprint for the rest of the series - we finally have our first dungeon-crawler with proper puzzles, real dialogue from zelda, named bad guys, a huge array of funky items, and jammin' tunes still used in the games today (hyrule castle anyone?). plus, link has pink hair! the opening to this game is utterly iconic in every way, and traverse through not one but TWO world maps that overlay one another makes exploration even more exciting.
the bad: truly, no complaints here. it does require some patience. it's a little aged, and it's always possible to get lost without a guide, but so is it true for every game with a big overworld like zelda's.
the verdict: again, this game isn't story-heavy by today's standards, but back then it was more story than we'd ever gotten from a zelda game. as long as you don't go in expecting it to have an rpg kind of story, you'll probably enjoy it. if you don't like 2D zelda combat or need shiny graphics to keep your attention, give it a pass.
Link's Awakening (1993, 2019)
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original console: gameboy/gameboy color, and a switch-exclusive remake
available on switch: yes - you can play the original with nso (basic) or the switch-exclusive remake
also available on: snes (super gameboy), gcn (gameboy player), gba, original ds (backwards compatibility), 3ds (virtual console), switch (remake), pc (emulation of any version)
average playtime: 14-19 hours for the original, 14-21 hours for the remake
mainline game: yes for the original, no for the remake, technically
sequel: technically a sequel to a link to the past, but they truly have nothing to do with each other
story-heavy: medium - similar story style to a link to the past. smaller cast and less overall dialogue, but more character work on marin specifically
edge level: usually pretty low, but in the rare moments when it jumps out it REALLY jumps out
the premise: while sailing, link becomes shipwrecked, washes up on shore of a remote place called koholint island, and is rescued by a girl named marin. with his boat in pieces, he has to go on a bittersweet adventure exploring the island and getting to know his rescuer in order to wake a mysterious being known as the windfish so he can go home.
the good: a tiny yet vast map, foreboding dungeons (hello, face shrine), a strange and quirky world that's impossible not to love with a small but charming cast to match (though, of course, the real stand-out character is marin), fun minigames, and a soundtrack that only got better in the remake. this game has it all! the story will surprise you by leaving you weeping at the end. there's not a huge difference to the gameplay between the original and the remake - it's mostly a graphical update, though they did add some side content.
the bad: it's one of those games that's different from the rest of the zelda series, which means it's not for everyone - there's no zelda, no ganondorf, no hyrule. also, getting the best ending is absolutely painstaking.
the verdict: what a wonderful game! the story is sparse but rewarding. if you don't like 2D zeldas, story-light games, or don't want to cry through the credits, you can give it a pass - but everyone else should love it.
Ocarina of Time (1998, 2011)
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original console: nintendo 64, and a 3ds-exclusive remake
available on switch: yes, with nso (expansion pack)
also available on: gcn (port), wii, wii u (virtual console), 3ds (remake), pc (fan-port or emulation of either version)
average playtime: 25-40 hours
mainline game: yes
sequel: no
story-heavy: yes, medium-high. it wouldn't impress by today's standards but back then it WAS the standard
edge level: medium-high. it's horrifying in some respects, but overall very wistful and bittersweet
the premise: link, the local outcast, is ousted from his idyllic home after tragedy strikes in the form of ganondorf murdering his forest's guardian spirit. from there you'll explore hyrule to open an ancient doorway, and go on a time-traveling adventure in a last-ditch attempt to prevent a terrible future and heal a broken world that didn't always want you.
the good: what can i possibly say about ocarina of time that hasn't already been said? critically acclaimed as the best game of all time when it was made and still 25 years later (with only breath of the wild threatening to unseat it), this game is everything. this is the game that taught me to love stories, to love gaming, to love zelda. the world is full of secrets and places to explore, there's a kind of dual-overworld thing happening the way there was in alttp, there's a lot of collectibles and sidequests and TONS of minigames, there's a huge cast of characters with real depth, you can RIDE A HORSE, and the quite literal coming-of-age story has actual plot twists that affect the gameplay. this game defined the official timeline for zelda (massive spoilers at the link), it defined the series itself, it defined the genre and even the industry - games everywhere are still using concepts introduced (or made popular) here, like targeting enemies, context-sensitive buttons, dynamic soundtracks, and day-night cycles.
the bad: one of the dungeons is a shitty goddamn motherfucking royal pain in the ass. you know what i'm talking about. unless you don't, in which case i'm sorry. maybe it's less horrible in master mode, i don't know. also, like, it's not that the game has aged poorly, it's still a solid adventure, but it HAS aged. since basically every game you've ever played has emulated oot with stuff like lock-on targeting, these features won't feel as revolutionary and special to a new player today as they did to new players in 1998. that's not bad, but it has caused some people to get excited to look into the hype, pop the game in, and then go "wait, i don't get it."
the verdict: unless you absolutely cannot deal with playing a 25yo game, pick this up - for the historical value, if nothing else. i cannot more highly recommend any game that ever existed than i do this one. that said, for people who are new to GAMES IN GENERAL, it may not feel as intuitive as it did to new players in 1998, because speak a slightly different language now. new gamers should definitely still play this, but they should either use a guide or consider not making it their very first game. more experienced gamers should still be fine making this their first zelda game.
bonus verdict: as for which console to play it on - the 3ds version has a lot of quality of life adjustments, including gyroscopic controls and a master mode (gcn version also has master mode), and the graphical improvement is absolutely astounding...but it's on a teeny-tiny little screen. i think the best way to play ocarina of time, if you're able to, is to emulate the 3ds version with the fanmade 4k upgrade. of course, this requires a good pc, emulation skills, and a properly connected controller (i haven't done it yet myself) - so don't feel bad playing anyway you can access it.
Majora's Mask (2000, 2015)
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original console: nintendo 64, and a 3ds-exclusive remake
available on switch: yes, with nso (expansion pack)
also available on: gcn (port), wii, wii u (virtual console), 3ds (remake), pc (emulation)
average playtime: 20-38 hours
mainline game: yes
sequel: yes, it's a direct sequel to oot. the opening may be a little confusing if you haven't played it but otherwise you're fine
story-heavy: yes, VERY. the character-work alone is unparalleled even by modern standards
edge level: EXTREMELY HIGH. this is without a doubt the darkest and most haunting game in the series
the premise: link, trying to escape his problems back home, gets thrown into an unfamiliar world where the moon is going to fall and destroy everything in only three days. with the help of multiple forms (link can shift into a deku, goron, or zora), and time travel, link relives the same three days over and over again, exploring clock town and the lands around it, and getting to know its people, so he can find a way to help everyone and prevent the oncoming apocalypse.
the good: holy cast of characters, batman! as with every zelda game, there is exploration and dungeon-crawling, and these are phenomenal here - of particular note is how the use of 4 different forms plays into puzzle-solving - but the real meat of this game comes from its incredible cast. near the beginning of the game you are given a journal, in which to note the schedules and habits of each and every resident of termina as you learn them. you play the same three days over and over, so while the clock is always ticking, there's an infinite time to get to know them. each character reacts to the upcoming armageddon differently: some are resigned, some are frightened, some are brave, and some are in denial. (notably, one minor character who appears brave crumbles in the final hours, begging not to die.) who these people are and the sorrows they carry around with them to the end of the world define this game and make it like no other.
the bad: look, it's a game about an upcoming apocalypse. you're on the sinking titanic and the clock counts down every precious second and no matter what you do there will ALWAYS be that time limit, which not everyone likes. it's stressful, and it can be sad and tragic, even upsetting at times, which is kind of a requirement for the powerful catharsis it also offers. it's very different to the usual zeldas - no zelda or ganondorf or hyrule - which also isn't everyone's bag. it's also a huge timesink - you really miss a lot of the point if you don't 100% it or at least get all of the masks, which takes a long time and a guide (although it is fun as hell the whole time).
the verdict: some people really hate the time limit and find it imposing. i mostly don't have a problem with it - sometimes i have to race to finish a task before i run out of time so i HAVE time to travel back before i get blown to bits, but without this mechanic, the game wouldn't work at all. famously, this game was made in only one year (hence the reused assets), so the pressure the devs felt really came out in their work. i think it's a fucking masterpiece, but it is a game about death, among other things, so if you need a feel-good title this one probably isn't your stop. that said, the incredibly powerful cast makes this game timeless - if not for the graphics you'd hardly know it's aged at all. even newer gamers should enjoy this one, but use a guide! for a game this complex it's more important to find everything than it is to do it blind.
bonus verdict: while the graphical improvements on the 3ds are wonderful, and the added fishing minigame is great, i mostly preferred the controls of the original. new players may not notice the difference, though!
Oracles of Ages & Oracle of Seasons (2001)
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original console: gameboy color
available on switch: not at the time of writing, but nintendo has confirmed it is coming to nso (basic)
also available on: snes (super gameboy), gcn (gameboy player), gba, original ds (backwards compatibility), 3ds (virtual console), pc (emulation)
average playtime: 16-25 for oracle of ages, 15-21 for oracle of seasons, leading to about 31-46 hours total
mainline game: no
sequel: not linked to any other games in the series, but they're technically both sequels to each othjer - more below
story-heavy: no, about medium-low
edge level: low
the premise: link hears the triforce calling out to him, and when he investigates, is thrown into one of two words, depending on which game you're playing. these two games stand alone, but they can also be linked via a code so that your playthrough on one can be transferred over to the other (like golden sun, if you've ever played those games). you can choose which game to play first. at the end of your playthrough, you can get a code, which can then be entered on the other game - complete both and you get a secret special grand finale. somewhat like pokemon games, the games complement each other in their differences, thoguh the differences here are much more drastic - they have different overworlds and dungeons, a slightly different set of items, and a different way of interacting with the world (by either traveling through the ages or by changing the season). oracle of ages is focused on puzzle-solving, while oracle of seasons is focused on combat and action.
the good: what a dense and detailed little adventure these games are! with a double of everything from items sets to overworlds, there's a ton to do. the worlds have a ton of variety and can feel endless at times. and since they were built on (i think) the link's awakening engine, gameplaywise it's kind of like getting to play a really good sequel to that game for the first time...twice. the lore is fun, the lands are fun, there's a couple of unforgettable tracks i still listen to. since you can play the games in either order, there's a good bit of REplayability involved, because hardcore fans will want to experience it both ways - leading to two playthroughs of each game, meaning four total playthroughs, for up to a whopping total of 92 hours of gameplay. talk about bang for your buck!
the bad: the codes are a real pain in the ass to work with, and you really can't get by without them. not only is it essential for moving your file from one game to the other, but you can also use them to get special items from one file to another. it's SO EASY to enter these codes in wrong and SO TEDIOUS to have to check them character by character. here's hoping the nso version has a better way (though i'm not holding my breath).
the verdict: an absolute must for any 2d zelda fan. first-time players, i HIGHLY recommending playing ages first. there's an important side-character in ages whose story gets resolved in seasons, but not if you play seasons first. of course, if you really like the games a lot, you can always start over and play them in the other order for different cutscenes.
Wind Waker (2002)
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original console: gamecube
available on switch: no :(
also available on: wii u (hd port), pc (emulation)
average playtime: 25-60 hours
mainline game: yes
sequel: technically, this is one POSSIBLE sequel to ocarina of time (which splintered the timeline, leading to multiple possible branching paths), though it takes place hundreds of years later. it has the same ganondorf from that game, but you should understand everything just fine whether you've played oot or not.
story-heavy: yes
edge level: medium-low - there are some more serious moments, and this is technically a post-apocalypse story, but overall this is one of the more bright and joyful games
the premise: this is a hyrule that was flooded by the gods when the hero of an ancient era could not show up to defeat ganondorf. people live on former mountaintops, now islands, interconnected by only the sea, and sailing is very dangerous. when link's younger sister is kidnapped, he has to leave his little island and go on a sea-faring adventure with pirates in order to get her back and unlock the mysteries of the hyrule beneath the waves.
the good: the game is vibrant, colorful, beautiful, and full of life. even if you don't like the cartoony art style (and i have mixed feelings), you can't deny the ambiance. there's a new combat system where for the first time you can pick up the dropped weapons of enemies, and the cast is stand-out - the "zelda" of this game is more hands-on than in any other title, and ganondorf is at his most sympathetic here, not to mention all the minor characters and their various sidequests. the characters are truly some of the funniest and most endearing yet - this game will make you laugh out loud. the enemies and bosses are unique and fun to grapple with (special shoutout to helmaroc king) and there's no shortage of stuff to do.
the bad: firstly, we have to mention the art style, which has been a little divisive over the years. it won't be for everybody. i like it for the most part, because you couldn't get the same vibe without it, but i do wish it was just a little less stylized - just a little! secondly, the game is just not finished. the development was rushed, leading to the cutting of an entire dungeon and a poorly-implemented second half where the focus shifts from exploration and dungeons to a near-ENDLESS fetch-quest for triforce pieces which involves a LOT of incredibly tedious and time-consuming sailing. (as kids, some trips were so long we could just set the direction and leave the controller on the floor while we took a bathroom break.)
the verdict: overall, the flaws aren't enough to ruin what is a truly great adventure. fans of the more serious games (hi! me!) may find themselves wishing wind waker had leaned into its post-apocalyptic setting and mysterious drowned world aspect more, and fans of lighter zeldas will find themselves wishing the damn thing was finished, but overall, everyone should find it's worth at least one playthrough, unless you absolutely cannot tolerate the visuals. fans of lighter zeldas, combat, and pirates will all love this one.
Four Swords (2002)
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original console: gameboy advance
available on switch: no :(
also available on: 3ds (single-player remake), potentially pc (idk if emulation of the original is possible considering the connectivity, but you could almost certainly emulate the remake)
average playtime: 3-17 hours
mainline game: no
sequel: technically, it's a sequel to minish cap, but minish cap hadn't been made yet, so whatever
story-heavy: not at all
edge level: non-existent
the premise: link pulls the ancient "four sword" in order to defeat bad guy vaati and becomes split into 4 selves. this game was the first multiplayer zelda, and you had to have three friends, all with their own gameboys and link cables, to even play this bad boy. from what i understand in most of the game you just compete to see who can get the most rupees? a single-player version was released on the 3ds a few years later but i don't know if you can still buy it legit or if the 3ds store was shut down. since it was so inaccessible, pretty much no one played this, including me, so i can't give it a proper writeup. probably nobody reading this will ever get a chance to experience four swords how it was originally meant to be played either, but you can find this game's spirit in similar titles like four swords adventures or minish cap, which are much more accessible.
Four Swords Adventures (2004)
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original console: gamecube
available on switch: no :(
also available on: uh yeah that's it. just the gamecube. you may be able to emulate it on pc though - i've never tried
average playtime: 15 hours
mainline game: no
sequel: teeechnically a sequel to the original four swords, but nobody played that, it's fine
story-heavy: not at all
edge level: very low
the premise: a sequel to four swords, this was intended to be the sleeker and (somewhat...) more accessible version. you can play this one as a single player, but my brother and i did it on co-op with a link cable and a gameboy sp - just the two of us, and no need to find two other friends - we each controlled two links each, to simplify it.
the good: the game is FUNNN as hell. the graphics are sleek as fuck because it's a 2d game running on a system capable of rendering 3d ones (just look at those flame effects!), the gameplay is addictive, and co-op puzzles are a blast. nintendo has always come out strong when it comes to in-person multiplayer (even if they have yet to catch up with online multiplayer...) and this is no exception. for anyone who ever wished they could sit on the floor and play zelda with their siblings the same way they played mario kart or smash bros, this game is a dream come true.
the bad: this game is still so GODDAMN inaccessible. we were lucky enough to have the gameboys and link cables we needed, but i don't have any idea how you'd go about playing it with other people now without some extremely tedious emulation or buying some extremely old (and expensive) gaming equipment. sure, emulating the single-player version on gcn is no big, but the game really shines in its multiplayer aspect, which is all but impossible for most people to enjoy now. it's incredibly frustrating.
the verdict: if you're lucky or rich enough to own a gamecube, a gameboy, and a link cable (multiple gameboys and link cables?) in 2023, AND you have a friend or three to play it with, please pick this one up. unless you just hate 2d zeldas, it is a FUCKING blast, and zelda fans the world over are probably envious they can't experience it for themselves.
Minish Cap (2004)
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original console: gameboy advance
available on switch: yes, with nso (expansion pack)
also available on: original ds (backwards compatibility), 3ds, wii u (virtual console)
average playtime: 15-27 hours
mainline game: no
sequel: no, but it is a prequel to the four sword series (made well after those games were released)
story-heavy: medium-light - about the level of most 2d zelda games
edge level: very low - this is such a bright and cheerful adventure
the premise: in an adventure meant to explain vaati of four sword fame's origins, you meet teeny-tiny people known as the minish, who live in teeny-tiny spaces all over hyrule. they mend shoes, use pots and old boots as houses, fight dust mites, and leave surprise gifts such as rupees and hearts beneath pots and the like to help adventurers. by shrinking and growing you explore various nooks and crannies and solve a ton of puzzles, and through fusing items called kinstones with strangers you can change or uncover more of the overworld and unlock even more secrets
the good: the game is beautiful, bright, and fun. the soundtrack is catchy, the gameplay is addictive, the puzzles are very fresh, and the kinstone fusion feature means you'll be doing a lot of backtracking and replaying to see all this game has to offer.
the bad: besides zelda, i didn't find myself terribly enthralled with most of the cast. the reused sound effects from other games can be nostalgic sometimes but sometimes they feel a bit cheap, since they had to be downsized; they're the audio equivalent of a pixelated jpg. and as great as the soundtrack is, it suffered from the same thing.
the verdict: my nitpicks with this game are minor - i think it's a wonderful and fresh entry into the series, and probably one of if not the best 2D zelda. if you like 2D zelda at all, you'll want to pick it up.
Twilight Princess (2006)
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original console: gamecube AND wii (i know)
available on switch: no :(
also available on: wii u (hd port), pc (emulation)
average playtime: 30-56 hours
mainline game: yes
sequel: technically, this is another possible sequel to oot, taking place 100 years later, and involving oot's ganondorf. (it has nothing to do with the timeline wind waker is on.)
story-heavy: yes, very - the cutscenes look great, the mocap for this game is wonderful
edge level: very high
the premise: 100 years after ocarina of time, darkness falls across hyrule in the form of "twilight," desolating every part of hyrule that it touches by turning its denizens into ghosts, and forcing princess zelda to surrender to zant, the king of the twilight realm. when link's village is destroyed by this twilight and he is turned into a wolf, he leaves to save zelda, save hyrule, and save his home. this game was meant to be a gcn title originally, but development was delayed for so long that they began co-developing it for the wii and released it as a launch title for that console.
the good: where do i start? this game was intended to be a return to oot's more realistic artstyle after many years of the wind waker art style in spin-off games, and was in fact a spiritual remake of oot in many ways. it is similar graphically, tonally, and gameplay wise - it's the oot they wanted to make in 1998, only with a more powerful engine, and fans loved it - check out this video of its announcement at e3 - it still gives me chills. famously, this game introduced horseback combat, which the devs had really wanted to implement in oot and were forced to give up on due to hardware limitations. the cast and the puzzles are all great on this one, and the world is huge and full of surprises, but of particular note is your partner midna, who comes with a better story and more personality than any partner before or since (sorry, king of red lions). lesbians and their associates will LOVE whatever the hell she has going on with zelda in this game. twilight princess also has the most fleshed-out swordplay of any zelda game - the various techniques you learn from the ghost swordsman are fun as hell, and every single boss battle in this game absolutely fucks.
the bad: despite its high moments, the story in this game is just a little weirdly paced. ganondorf was brought in kind of suddenly, and link's childhood friend from his village, whom the story focuses on a lot, is maybe not the most compelling character (sorry to ilia fans - she's okay, just not my favorite). not everybody liked this game's emulation of oot, and some people felt it was uninspired. personally, my gripes are mostly about the dual-console release; having played both versions multiple times, i think they both suffered from being co-developed. because the wii version uses motion controls and most people are right-handed they switched to a right-handed link for the wii (BLASPHEMY), meaning they actually flipped the entire world horizontally, and there are times when the laziness of this action is very apparent when playing the wii version. while the controls are superior on the wii (there's a mandatory shooting minigame that's all but impossible on gcn connected to a crt tv), the graphics just...look a little aged for a wii game, whereas they look damn good for a gamecube game. the hd remake fixes this, but since it's only on the wii u, fucking nobody has played it, and it remains inaccessible to most players except through emulation.
the verdict: if you can get your hands on this, do it. despite its flaws it's a classic meat-and-potatoes zelda adventure. fans of combat and more serious stories will especially love this one. personally, i preferred the gcn version because of left-handed link, but i do think the motion aiming on the wii (and wii u?) was a great addition, so it's a matter of preference as far as if you want the hd graphics and what controller feels correct in your hands.
Phantom Hourglass (2007)
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original console: nintendo ds
available on switch: no :(
also available on: wii u (virtual console), pc (emulation)
average playtime: 17-31 hours
mainline game: no
sequel: a direct sequel to wind waker - not sure if you need to have played that to understand; from what i can tell there are actually a few plotholes
story-heavy: medium, i think?
edge level: low, as far as i know
the premise: after tetra gets sucked into a ghost shiop ad vanishes, link has to set sail on a new ship to find a way to free her. that's all i really know because, okay, up-front, i did not finish it. i did not give it a fair shake. it's got great reviews and they can't all be wrong, but i found controlling link with a stylus (the ds had no control stick) frustrating, the game hard to see (the graphics are trying to emulate ww's style on less capable hardware), and the story uncompelling (tetra? a damsel??). i know a lot of people really love linebeck and i wanna love him too one day, but until then, get your answers from the people who love this game!
Spirit Tracks (2009)
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original console: nintendo ds
available on switch: no :(
also available on: wii u (virtual console), pc (emulation)
average playtime: 20-33 hours
mainline game: no
sequel: to wind waker and phantom hourglass, technically, though it takes place 100 years after those games
story-heavy: medium, i think?
edge level: low, as far as i know
the premise: 100 years after wind waker and phantom hourglass, a new hyrule has been founded above the waves and it has TRAINS. for some reason zelda gets zapped out of her body and can now follow you around as a cool ghost who possesses bigass statues to help you out. that's right, your partner for this game IS ZELDA. the main theme for this game is so catchy it's a crime. i never played this since i didn't finish phantom hourglass, but it looks so fucking cool that i wanna power through phantom hourglass despite my initial reservations just so i can take a crack at it.
Skyward Sword (2011)
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original console: wii
available on switch: yes, as an hd port
also available on: wii u (virtual console & backwards compatibility), pc (emulation)
average playtime: 30-58
mainline game: yes
sequel: no - in fact, it's the prequel to every zelda, being that it's the very first one in the timeline
story-heavy: yes, very
edge level: mostly low, but it does have its serious moments
the premise: taking place at the very start of zelda's long and complex timeline, this game seeks to explain the origins of hyrule's creation and and some of its mythology. link and the other proto-hylians live in islands high above the clouds and attend the school for flying around on bigass birds, not knowing if there even is a world below, until one day zelda (not a princess but the headmaster's daughter) gets dragged down by a dark force, and link must venture into the land below to save her.
the good: skyward sword is oozing ambiance. a standout area of this game is lanayru desert, in which you can use a timeshift stone to shift the area directly around you back in time by 1000 years or so and watch it come to life with greenery. this soundtrack is fully orchestrated, we get to hear zelda sing (her first voice acting debut!), and when the motion controls are on, they're REALLY on. sometimes the swordfights feel like actual duels. the cast of side-characters all get a lot of development (shoutout to my man groose!), and the villains are creepy and quirky. the dungeons in skyward sword are especially good - the cistern in particular is one of the best in the game, but we can't forget the ghost ship or the sky temple either. minor spoilers for the story, here, but finding out WHY there are so many zelda games and the struggle against evil never ends (it's a literal curse) was really cool and really reframed how a lot of people saw the series and the characters - it's a lot more tragic that they have a fate they can't escape from so long as zelda fans want more games.
the bad: minor spoilers for the story here too. as far as prequels go it did not make a lot of sense. there's nothing about the three goddesses we've come to know and love, only about the minor goddess hylia, and the ancient hyrule features species that don't ever make another appearance mole guys and seahorse dudes. there aren't any zoras or gerudo or koroks/kokiri, there's only one goron, we only see two sheikah...it feels so far removed from the hyrule we know that it doesn't feel like a prequel at all. additionally, when the motion controls aren't good, they're REALLY bad - especially on the switch version, which has less precise controls than the wii. finally, while i personally didn't mind it (puzzles!), a lot of people disliked how linear the overworld was and complained there was no exploration. another common frustration, one which i share, is how much the game holds your hand. (this famously inspired toriel in the game undertale to LITERALLY hold your hand and do the puzzle for you.) this game will present a puzzle and then have the nearest npc (most often fi, poor fi, she undeservedly gets all the blame for this) explain how to do it before giving you even one chance to try for yourself.
the verdict: it has its flaws, but i still enjoy it a lot. i think more experienced players will be very frustrated with it at times, and people who hate motion mechanics or constant alerts/lots of useless dialogue will be miserable. (you can turn motion controls off in the switch version but it feels unnatural because of how sword-swinging works.) on the other hand, the game's linear and hand-holdy nature actually makes it a perfect start for brand new gamers, especially given where it falls on the timeline.
A Link Between Worlds (2013)
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original console: 3ds
available on switch: no :(
also available on: pc (emulation)
average playtime: 16-23 hours
mainline game: no
sequel: takes place at least 100 years after a link to the past, and even uses the same overworld! you don't have to play that to understand this though.
story-heavy: medium, about the level you expect for 2d zeldas
edge level: medium-high
the premise: link turns into a little flat guy so he can go more places! this is a sequel involving the inhabitants of lorule, a parallel world to hyrule, one without a triforce. go back and forth between kingdoms to save hyrule from suffering the same fate, all while trying to kick a giant rabbit guy out of your house.
the good: the puzzles in this one are really fun and fresh, the old overworld map feels super nostalgic, the music is charming, and being able to tackle the dungeons in any order is a nice touch. i especially loved getting to know certain inhabitants of lorule.
the bad: the non-linear style won't be for everyone, and i wish i had been able to spend more time getting to know hilda in particular.
the verdict: this in my opinion is one of the best 2D zeldas - if you're a 2D zelda fan, especially a alttp fan, don't miss it!
Hyrule Warriors (2014, 2016, 2018)
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original console: wii u
available on switch: yes, as a remake/collection
also available on: this is complicated. the game was originally released on wii u, then ported to the 3ds with new added content but i think mising some other content, and then FINALLY released on the switch with ALL the content. you can also emulate any version on the pc
average playtime: 17-38 hours, though people report up to a whopping 366 hours to 100% it
mainline game: no
sequel: no
story-heavy: medium-ish. there's cool cutscenes but it's not that deep
edge level: low, this shit is just balls to the wall crazy-ass fun
the premise: a crossover between dynasty warriors and zelda. turn zelda into a beat-em-up and add cameos from popular characters doing increasingly batshit anime fighting moves. what's not to like?
the good: this game is insane. the electric guitar soundtrack, the cameos, the nostaliga - it's all here. the gameplay is good mindless fun you can really sink your teeth into, and despite it not being the point i had fun running around and exploring all the maps. there's so, so, SO much to do (366 hours!) you will literally never see the end of it.
the bad: the OCs are maybe not my favorite people. i don't know if they come from other dynasty warriors games but they were a little annoying and truly, uh, underdressed. also, as someone who likes to 100% games, it annoys me that i'll likely never 100% this, just because of the sheer timesink/grinding required.
the verdict: if you like fighting games and combat, this is for you. if you're into zelda for the serious story stuff and the puzzles, give it a pass. completionists beware, 100%ing this game is NOT for the faint-hearted.
Tri Force Heroes (2015)
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original console: 3ds
available on switch: no :(
also available on: pc (emulation)
average playtime: 14-26 hours, but up to 56 hours to 100% it
mainline game: no
sequel: takes place a few years after a link between worlds - not sure if you need to play that to understand this, but it seems unlikely
story-heavy: doesn't look like it
edge level: low. oh my god, he's in a little cheerleader outfit. look at him
the premise: i don't really know, i think you crossdress to gain superpowers and then solve puzzles with your buds. i didn't play this one because i didn't have 2 friends with a 3ds and a flexible schedule. apparently there's a one-player mode, but it just doesn't seem as fun, and the lack of a 2-player mode is sad because my brother and i could've rocked it. like the four swords series, this looks like great multiplayer fun, but it's inaccessible to people without the time or coordination to get 3 people together. it looks fun as hell, though.
Breath of the Wild (2017)
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original console: dual launch on wii u and switch
available on switch: yes, obviously :)
also available on: pc (emulation)
average playtime: 50-100 hours, though to 100% everything and enjoy the dlc it could take up to 210!
mainline game: yes
sequel: technically, it's a sequel to everything, since it takes place at the end of (somehow) every timeline. but you don't have to have any prior experience to enjoy it
story-heavy: medium-heavy? this is the first zelda game with voice acting, and what cutscenes it does have are amazing, but you can expect to see only a very few of them
edge level: very high (this is once again post-apocalyptic), but not as high as majora's mask or twilight princess
the premise: link wakes after a 100 year sleep with no memory of who he is or what happened to the ruined world around him. explore a completely open world in your own way at your own pace, recover your memories, rescue zelda.
the good: this game hit the industry at a thousand miles per hour and six years later the hype still hasn't slowed down. this redefined the series and the genre in a way we haven't seen since oot in 1998. this game is revolutionary in the way that oot was revolutionary back then, but updated so that newer players find it just as surprising and refreshing as new players in 1998 found oot back then. the exploration, the physics, and the world are all totally unparalleled - three decades later, this zelda truly gets back to the original explorer and adventuring spirit miyamoto tried so hard to capture in the very first legend of zelda game all the way back in 1986.
the bad: as much fun as this world is to play around in, i found that most of my joy came from the exploration and not knowing what i'd find around the next corner. it's still a very, very, VERY good game, but i found that on my replay it just didn't have that same shininess that other games in the series do when i replay them. and, of course, because it's so different it's very divisive - there's no human ganondorf in this game, no dungeons - all your puzzle-solving comes in microdungeons called shrines scattered around hyrule. weapon durability is also a hotly debated feature - even i found it frustrating at times, although in many ways the forced improvisation it brings to the table is more than worth the cost of admission. and overall the enemies are all the same and have no real difference between them, even the bosses, and the boss fights kind of suck. it's a really good game, but it does have its flaws.
the verdict: this is the perfect starting point for anyone new to the series. many people have started with this game and learned about hyrule alongside the amnesiac link - i had an extremely interesting discussion once with someone on tumblr about how the game is different if you've grown up loving hyrule and see it get torn apart, vs if the only hyrule you know IS the one that's torn apart. both ways are wonderful experiences, and i think even non-zelda fans would find something to love in the freedom this game offers.
Cadence of Hyrule (2019)
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original console: switch
available on switch: yes, obviously :)
also available on: pc (emulation)
average playtime: 6-11 hours, but you can add up to 12 more if you play the dlc
mainline game: no
sequel: no
story-heavy: not really
edge level: low
the premise: a crossover with crypt of the necrodancer, a roguelike rhythm game. there's no real story here except, notably, a brief cameo of a younger ganondorf, though his back is always turned to you. (if you could go back and kill ganondorf as a baby...)
the good: well, a rhythm game's gotta have good music, right? both the rehashes of the old songs and the new music are absolutely stellar here. i'm normally iffy on rhythm games but i found the gameplay addictive (there's a strong tactical element to moving around) and the exploration fun. getting to play as zelda (!!!) if you want is a great bonus, too. there's really nothing not to love.
the bad: the kind of movement you have in this game doesn't lend itself super well to boss fights most of the time. they weren't bad by any means but definitely one of the weaker parts of the experience.
the verdict: unless you hate rhythm games or hate fun, you'll like this one, especially if you're a crypt of the necrodancer fan or a fan of zelda's music in general. puzzle fans might be disappointed there aren't as many mind-twisters in this one, though.
Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity (2020)
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original console: switch
available on switch: yes, obviously :)
also available on: pc (emulation)
average playtime: 25-40 hours, though it can take up to 76 hours to 100% it
mainline game: no
sequel: a direct prequel to breath of the wild and its eventual but as-of-yet unreleased sequel tears of the kingdom
story-heavy: yes
edge level: relatively low, i'm told
the premise: so this is a prequel to botw, taking place during the era just before the apocalypse. i didn't finish it because it came out right around nov 5 2020 (iykyk) and then someone spoiled the ending for me and i thought it sounded stupid, so i was less motivated to play. what little i did play of it was great, though - it was exciting and fun in all the ways the original hyrule warriors was but bigger and badder in every respect, and with a little more of that somber botw flavor. i intend to finish before totk comes out despite my reservations about the story.
The Conclusion
it's a great time to be a zelda fan because out of the 22 games on this list, only 8 of them are unavailable on nintendo switch, and only 2 of those are what i would consider to be mainline games. that means you can access two thirds of the ENTIRE SERIES, spanning almost 4 decades, on a single console! your only limits are your time and your wallet. most of the ones that AREN'T available on the switch can be played on a 3ds, so if you have or buy one, nearly the entire series is at your fingertips. (you can emulate the shit out of your 3ds, btw, and play a lot of these gameboy, gba, and ds games for free - nintendo isn't looking anymore so they don't care.)
sorry i couldn't fully cover all games - i welcome opinions from people who have played games i've missed in the tags. when i do get around to playing them, i will come back and update this guide! expect an entry for totk eventually too. thanks for reading and i hope it was helpful to someone!
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sibelin · 11 months
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I just read that post about people harassing Skuppy online and I just....so fucking disrespectful. And WEIRD! AND HORRIBLE!! I hate how the internet has granted people like that unfettered access to musicians, especially smaller groups that can see the shit you post online about them. Ughghghhhh makes me so mad!!!
i totally agree! it's disrespectful to say the least :(
there's a huge problem with how people interact with artists nowadays and i think it's linked to the slow disappearance of communities in profit of a more self-centred approach of art. i've seen it here and on other plateforms alike: when people latch onto a band, they really don't care about what they PUBLICLY say. afterall it's all about them! not about the band or the art! which leads to people not having boundaries because why would they care. you can @ anyone on twitter, you can say whatever comes to your mind. look what happens to actors that get harassed on twitter because people find them hot. it's like the artists are there to serve their fans. which is wrong in so many way.
as someone who's always been involved in music (i've been a volunteer in festivals, music venues and i've been around bands and technical staff since i was a tiny baby), i never felt like the word "fandom" was right for whatever you call yourself as a fan of a band. actually i never heard it used for bands before making this tumblr..... ultimately, everyone can think and write whatever they want but sometimes it's good to go out and just experience how the scene is outside of whatever is happening on internet. which never happens because people refuse to go see smaller concerts and newer bands. (and when they do, they look at their phones during the opening band until their favourite guy comes up. i've seen it and it SUCKS.)
anyway, Char said everything wayyy better than what i'm trying to say but it's been bugging me for a long time so i wanted to let it out ;)
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game-boy-pocket · 1 year
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I'm not very hopeful for liking Ganondorf in Tears of the Kingdom based on his dialogue.
A lot of Zelda fans used to say Ganondorf was a boring character, and that we need a newer younger more interesting villain, and I just don't agree with that, yes he was a generic power hungry tyrant, but he's one of those few that manage to do a trope in such a satisfying way. The problem is that he spent way too much time off camera, not that he's a cliche.
I liked Ganondorf as a character who's goal is to be a corrupt ruler of Hyrule and possibly the world. But ever since Skyward Sword gave him that shitty new origin story that was really just belched out of that wanna be Akuma unceremoniously, Ganon has mostly just been a stupid monster who wants to destroy the world, and the whole "burn it all down leave no survivors" line leads me to believe that our first human Ganon appearance since 2006 is not going to be any different than the big roaring spider demon or wild boar.
I'm only basing this off a few lines of dialogue so I can still be wrong about this but I just get the impression that the Zelda team is not interested in making Ganondorf interesting again. Which is a shame... I personally don't believe Zelda has a very good storyline. It has good characters. A few good moments. But not good stories. So when a good character becomes less appealing, it feels like a big loss.
I can rationalize this by saying Ganondorf is not the man he used to be anymore and has been driven mad by millennia of defeats, but just because I can rationalize it doesn't mean I find it interesting.
Right now the only thing I'm really hopeful for is an explanation about what the fuck Calamity Ganon was if it wasn't Ganon's reincarnation. Because I was under the impression it was a half baked mutated version of Ganon that didn't finish manifesting his physical body. So what... was that just another one of those things you fought on the Divine beasts?
Anyway, I'm rambling. I know this is probably an old man take that's "invalidated by nostalgia, durr", I just want one of my fave villains to stop being a destroyer of worlds. I have rarely seen a world destroyer villain that I find interesting.
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Hahahahaha, good to see that both "Supernatural" and "The Walking Dead" were ruined by their creators and broke the hearts of their fans all over the world, how nice!!!!
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pleaserelaxfc · 2 years
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USWNT: Roster Thoughts
The USWNT roster for their April friendlies against Uzbekistan came out today - here's my thoughts following the drop.
My overarching thoughts are (1) a bit surprised (but not particularly mad) at how similar this roster looks to the last few - I would have expected a couple of the veterans who have been out to start getting back in to develop/maintain chemistry with the largely new back line and the newer forwards, especially since for a while the line has been that the vets would be back in "in the spring," and (2) deeply upset at how many players are injured.
Goalkeepers:
Excited to see Bella Bixby back in the mix, and as a Spirit fan, I love seeing Kingsbury getting call-ups. I just hope that one of them actually gets minutes (particularly Kingsbury, since Washington's depth at goalkeeper is not great - I'd rather she not get called away from the team just to sit on the bench).
Casey Murphy has been out for the Courage since the beginning of the Challenge Cup with a right knee injury, and I would like to know more about that - mostly because of how many USWNT players have suffered season-ending injuries in the last two weeks, I would just like an update on the prognosis for Murphy, since she has been so promising with the national team so far. Vlatko apparently told press that it is just a little knock and she was on the border of being able to make it back in time for these friendlies.
Curious whether the continued selections of Bixby and Kingsbury indicate that Franch and Campbell are now on the outside looking in, or if that's just another part of Vlatko's approach to getting new players into the mix before the World Cup. Personally, I'm fine with Campbell being out of the mix - I don't think she's been as impressive for her club as Bixby, Kingsbury, or Murphy, but Franch is still pretty solid, and since Kingsbury is only one year younger than her, I don't think it's an age thing (although it might also have something to do with wanting to spend more time with her newborn).
Defenders:
Hate to see Tierna Davidson out for any period, and especially for such a long one as this. Hate it absolutely.
Always sad when Becky Sauerbrunn isn't able to play, but glad that it sounds like her injury should have her back on the field in the near-ish future.
Also disappointed that Emily Sonnett's abdominal injury, which Kris Ward said might take a few weeks to deal with, is keeping her out of this camp - with both Davidson and Sauerbrunn out (and Dahlkemper still not at her best), it might have pushed Vlatko and the coaching staff into giving her at least a few minutes at center back, where she should be.
However, very excited to see Naomi Girma get some minutes there - she has looked really good with the Wave. Abby Dahlkemper, Girma's center back partner at the Wave, has looked decent but not back to her pre-2021 form yet. Dahlkemper has still gotten called in to this camp, and maybe she can use this opportunity to shake off any lingering ghosts, but honestly I'm hoping to see Girma and Cook get most of the minutes.
Very glad that whatever took Emily Fox off the field during the first half of last weekend's game isn't anything long-term. Also thrilled that Imani Dorsey is getting another look. Although Fox is probably the starter for both matches, I hope Dorsey does get some decent minutes so that we aren't relying on a single player having experience there (hot take, I know), especially with the recent spate of injuries.
Other than injured players/expected absences due to pregnancy, I don't think there are any other defenders that I would have expected to see here - still a bit confused by the decision not to bring in Caprice Dydasco and/or Carson Pickett (neither of whom would even be thirty by the time the World Cup kicks off) starting in November, but at this point that is what it is.
Midfielders:
Not a lot of surprises here, and almost shockingly injury-free (not to jinx it). Other than Julie Ertz, who hasn't played (or, seemingly, even trained with a team) since the Olympics, the next biggest hit on the roster is probably Morgan Gautrat, who has been on the bubble of making her way back to the national team in recent months - the Red Stars have listed her as out with a calf injury that was probably picked up during the previous national team camp.
Glad that Sam Mewis and Rose Lavelle are both far enough along in their recovery to be back in camp. Not sure about Lavelle, but I don't expect Mewis to start in these games - hopefully she'll get some good minutes, though.
Also glad to see both Jaelin Howell and Ashley Sanchez getting some more consistent call-ups. I really dislike Lindsey Horan as a defensive midfielder, and with Ertz out...indefinitely, and Gautrat injured as well, it's important to get Howell some minutes there so that we aren't (again) relying exclusively on one player there (although I do think Andi Sullivan is fantastic). I thought the Sanchez-Kristie Mewis pairing in attacking midfield was very fun to watch in the SheBelieves Cup, and they could probably get even more wonderful things done against Uzbekistan.
Forwards:
Catarina Macario is listed as a midfielder but I'm going to treat her as a forward anyway because given the other players we have on the roster, that is where she belongs. The other forwards are great, of course, but other than Hatch, they are all natural wingers, and I know we aren't going to rely on only one central forward player. Macario was great at that role, particularly when given a little more freedom, and I hope they continue trying to work to her unique strengths this time.
Hate hate hate hate that Lynn Williams has a season-ending injury. I love her playing style, I think it was important to have someone with her experience in a lineup as new as this, and I feel like her issues are more confidence than skill, so I was hoping that after her relative success at the Olympics and with a good amount of time before final World Cup roster selection, she would have a chance to really come into herself on the national team. Hate this for her and for us.
I am surprised that we didn't get at least Christen Press back into the fold this time, especially with Williams out (although honestly, I would have loved to see Press and Williams working together on a pressing strategy - one of the scarier things I could imagine for an opposition team). Press has been on fire for Angel City the last two weeks, and so long as players like Kelley O'Hara (a known quantity and roughly the same age) and Alyssa Naeher (a known quantity and hadn't played since the Olympics until SheBelieves) are getting called in, it is baffling to me that Press wouldn't be called in. I'm hoping this just means that she wanted to focus on club training/didn't want to risk injury in a friendly and decided herself that it wasn't yet time to re-join the national team.
Hatch has been pretty solid in the traditional central forward role, so I'm happy to see her back again, although I would have liked to see Bethany Balcer on the roster as well.
I am interested to see the continued development of Purce, Smith, Rodman, and Pugh on the wings. There were a lot of good moments at SheBelieves, and with a little more time together and being closer to in-season form, these games should see more of their quality chances converted. Again, this pool feels a little bit shallow, especially if Rodman and Pugh are still unvaccinated and planning to stay that way - although perhaps it's less shallow than it looks if Crystal Dunn comes back from maternity leave interested in playing in a winger role.
Another consideration for the forward pool is that OL Reign played Rose Lavelle as a wide forward last weekend (as did Manchester City a few times last year), and several people with more soccer knowledge than I have have also mentioned that Lindsey Horan could play as a striker - with so few forwards, I'm interested in seeing whether any of the midfielders get moved around.
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My Best Cookie Votes and Why: Round 1, Part 1
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Mint Choco: While Orange is nice and all, she's ultimately a pretty flat character...and not just in the literal sense either. Minty, on the other hand, has an actual backstory, for starters, plus he's not an absolute dick to his closest friend like his opponent is. Plus, Mint's implied romance with Cocoa is infinitely more satisfying than the Citrus Love Triangle that they do absolutely nothing with. (As a side note, I find it hilarious that the very first matchup is literally just Orange Juice vs. Toothpaste.)
Sea Fairy: I like Tiger Lily and all, but literally her only purpose in canon seems to be to never get told what anything is, which is extremely frustrating on the part of the other Cookies and honestly hits way too close to home. That, and her major character arc with Princess is NEVER touched upon, while Sea Fairy presumably actually managed to reunite with Moonlight.
Pilot: This matchup was essentially Good, Loving (probably surrogate) Grandparent versus Awful, Neglectful, Irresponsible Grandparent who is confirmed to have attempted to alter her granddaughter's DNA in order to change her personality. So yeah.
Pink Choco: Neither of these Cookies really stand out at all. I am a fan of Pink's Magical Girl theming, though, and honestly I'd rather see her on stage than Carol. Also, Pink's design is leagues better.
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Walnut: I'll admit, she's just more endearing to me for some reason. Her power is more interesting (and I actually understand how exactly it's supposed to work), and honestly the idea of a little detective with a teddy bear assistant is just adorable. I'm still mad about Angel, but that's not exactly HER fault, now is it?
Dark Choco: DC is a compelling fallen hero character who drives the entire story of Ovenbreak with his disappearance. White Choco Cookie is French, and that's about it. Also:
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How can you not vote for him when he promises you such important lore? (Granted, he calls you out for being vain if you pick him. Hey, any lore is good lore, pal! Also, I have long hair I need to worry about too!)
Purple Yam: Honestly, the fact that he actually questions the bad writing sold me on voting for him. He's also a genuinely good character despite his only emotion being anger.
Firecracker: I absolutely love her 80s arcade aesthetic, even in spite of her being way too young to have ever been to an arcade in the 80s. She genuinely wants everyone to have fun, too. Also, Marshmallow got Flame Bat and Celestial Star locked up for her Trial.
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Squid Ink: To be honest, this was one of the tougher choices. In the end, I decided that Inky needed more love after what they've been through, so they got the vote. Sorry, Fig.
Roguefort: Devsis has a really bad habit this list of putting far more interesting recent characters against old characters with nothing really to them. I mean, yeah, Ninja's mysterious and all, but you've done absolutely nothing with him since not even LINE, but the defunct game Ovenbreak 2! Other than maybe change his name from Ninjabread, anyway. Hell, Tiny Ghost is more interesting than him, but even then newer players wouldn't even know that, since the one throwaway line hinting at something more was in a Cookie Quest, which were removed from the game entirely over a year ago. Roguefort is more interesting by default.
Vampire: Can I be honest for a sec here? I hate Pancake with a passion. He deliberately makes himself seem cuter to get his way. Based on his interactions with Cream Puff, he's just as cruel as his big bro, if not as outwardly aggressive. No, Pancake relies on psychological manipulation to get everything he wants, and the worst part is IT'S FUCKING WORKING. As we speak, he's stealing a Magic Candy from Devil, from Kiwi...hell, he's even stealing it from Vampire! And now he's dominating the polls, adding insult to debilitating injury. He's not even fucking cute. Yeah, I said it.
Pistachio: Soda has absolutely no personality other than surfboard. Do I even need to say more?
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Peppermint: DE could be SUCH a good villain if Devsis could decide what kind of villain she even is. Also if they remembered she was a major villain at all.
Lemon: I'll admit, I see a lot of myself in Lemon. Mostly in feeling artificial and having basically no friends, ever. I honestly think I'd be in a much worse place if I didn't have a brother. Whip could be great if they did anything with the White Swan/Black Swan dynamic he has with Skating Queen.
Pitaya: I've always had problems with the "You can only eat if you work for it" mentality. First of all, you need food to get energy to work, and if you aren't fed, then how are you going to work hard for food!? Second, what if you're disabled or otherwise can't work? Do you just starve to death, then? It just sounds awful!
Cream Puff: She's trying her best.
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Kumiho: ...I honestly don't remember.
Pomegranate: A genuinely good villain who stole the show with her introduction. She could've easily been a Knight of Cerebus if the writers cared enough.
Cyborg: Blackberry abandoned a child relying on her protection to chase after a man who didn't remotely need her help. Also, she hates Devil. Also also, Cyborg is cool.
Hero: If you've read Hellfyre Speaks, you can probably guess why I personally picked Hero. I'm just surprised at the popular vote; it seemed to me like Herb was way more popular! But I guess not? Or at least not with early voters.
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Werewolf: He's far more fleshed out than Gumball by far.
Devil: Have I ever actually explained why Devil is my favorite? Like, sure, he's an asshole, but he's the fun, ineffectual kind of asshole you actually wanna root for that you see in cartoons; like, in shows focused on a 'villain' character's scheming, usually with a naive idiot going along with it and a very-much-ignored voice of reason. Like in Ed, Edd, n' Eddy, or Evil Con Carne. Devil also has a flair for the dramatic, a knack for 'evil' schemes, and even the perfect foil to play off of! He'd be an absolute goldmine when it comes to the more lighthearted antics between acts, but Devsis is apparently content to just haul up gravel.
Knight: I'll be honest, I saw Alchemist and immediately clicked the other Cookie without looking who it was. But this isn't a post about her, so let's talk about Knight. First off, he'd be the perfect antagonist to Devil; Devil goes full ham when acting out an 'evil' plan, while Knight takes everything WAY too seriously. He adores Princess Cookie but doesn't know jack shit about her, which juxtaposed with Princess's nonchalant rebuttals of everything he claims about her makes it hilarious in a kind of pathetic way. (Ex. Knight claiming that Princess would probably never eat Jam again, then Princess replying she could totally go for some right now to the exact same question.) He's delusional in a way that you'd feel bad for him if he wasn't so over-the-top about it, and yet at the same time he does have skills that match up with his headcanon of how things work, just not the reputation.
Matcha: Seems like the person who'd play both sides for her amusement. I'd keep an eye on her.
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