#And it's all just a mix of several theories I've found

[headspace-hotel]

So growing up I heard these kinds of statements: "X number of species goes extinct every year" and "Most species that go extinct are undescribed/undiscovered"

And I could never really picture what that looked like. What species were going extinct? Where? Why? If they're undiscovered, how do we know about it? It's only recently that I've been able to understand.

This is an example:

Since European colonization, 99% of old growth forest in the eastern United States was cut down.

In Eastern Kentucky, the coal industry led to waste and rubble being dumped in valleys, literally burying countless mountain streams in gravel and toxic sludge.

Colonialism and exploitation moved faster than leaf-sketching and bug-collecting European naturalists did. It's very simple, and very sad. When the coal mines polluted the streams, many species of fish that only lived in one specific stream must have gone extinct. When Native Americans were forced off their lands, we can presume that rare plant species found in meadows, canebrakes and oaks savannas dependent on particular anthropogenic disturbances went extinct. When old-growth tracts were logged, God only knows how many lichens, mosses, ferns and plants went extinct because the trees they lived on were chopped.

We can extrapolate from the diversity in the fragments that remain, and the number of rare endemic species in especially isolated areas, and guess what probably existed in areas that were obliterated early on.

Keep in mind: All is not lost. New species are still being discovered.

The Bluegrass region of Kentucky was once called one of the most peculiar plant communities of the South—an eastern island of oak savanna with an understory of Arundinaria bamboo and legumes. Early European settlers reported that the ground was incredibly rich and covered with knee-high clover and dense thickets of "cane" (bamboo) that made navigation next to impossible.

Some people say the Bluegrass was always a forest and the savanna theory is wrong. Bullshit! I know this because of several reasons:

The earliest records don't mention any sycamores at all in the Bluegrass, whereas river cane (bamboo) was everywhere. Arundinaria bamboos are fire dependent species, whereas sycamore is HIGHLY intolerant of fire. From this we can infer that the area had a history of frequent burning.

Everyone in the Bluegrass knows about the Old Trees. In horse and cattle pastures in the Bluegrass region, you will sometimes see gigantic, twisted old oaks, with great spreading crowns. Nowadays you hardly see an oak that properly merits the term "gnarled," but the gnarl of the Old Trees is crazy. Just look up google images for Kentucky tourism and you'll see one of those huge trees in the background of several of the photos, I bet. Hardly anyone consciously thinks about it, but these are pre-colonization trees. And they are all obviously open-grown—their growth habit over the centuries has spread out, rather than grown straight up as in a forest.

Early colonizers' records report big walnut and cherry trees in the area. Most of the old houses in the area are made of walnut wood. Those are mid-successional species—you wouldn't find them dominating in an area that was heavily disturbed regularly and recently, they're trees, but you wouldn't find them in a forest that had been minimally disturbed forest for centuries either. The fact that they got huge suggests that a regular disturbance pattern of the Bluegrass region was abruptly interrupted and mostly ceased.

It was a pretty special place, a savanna environment with a mix of giant twisted oaks, rolling prairie hills and bamboo thickets, with deep sinkholes connecting the surface to subterranean cave ecosystems. In places the limestone bedrock reached the surface, creating limestone glades—unique desert-like habitats with many rare plants including Opuntia cactus.

It was also one of the first ecosystems west of the Appalachians to be destroyed by settlers.

BUT! Just a few years ago, we discovered Trifolium kentuckiense—Kentucky clover. A unique species of clover that has only been found in two spots in Central Kentucky.

This means the Bluegrass species that probably went extinct because their habitat was ignorantly logged, plowed and grazed before they were studied by European science may not be entirely gone.

We have been able to fund exhaustive inventories of potential holdouts for big flashy animals like the ivory-billed woodpecker, but so many people view the place they live as "boring" and thoroughly explored, when there could be surviving plants hanging out just about anywhere.

But...I don't think most people realize how much of the Holocene extinction has already happened. Most of the losses are plants and bugs that you never knew existed in the first place.

I feel like lots of people are anxiously waiting for the mass extinction to "start" hitting, but that's not quite right. European colonization of the globe WAS and *is* the mass extinction (combined with climate change which is very related). It's actively ongoing in the Global South. In eastern North America, the major wave of extinctions hit between 100 and 300 years ago.

I feel so much grief for all that was almost certainly lost forever, but I also recognize that I live in a unique period of time where the future can still be changed, and in particular, the heavily damaged ecosystems of the Southeast can be restored and used to absorb carbon from the atmosphere and provide resilience to the entire globe. And I strongly suspect at least a few mysterious new plants will start popping up once that happens...because a lot of plants stick around in the soil seed bank for a long, long time, and seeds can happen to be preserved by freak accident and then sprout later.

we (researchers, scientists, people who work in this field) will desperately need to consult tribal nations for this though because from my reading into it, we don't know what the fuck we're doing. The most basic things like controlled burns are still struggling to catch on and in some places just, spraying herbicides willy-nilly on invasive plants without understanding what makes them invasive.

#ecology #plants

[nerdraging4point0]

Blood of Eden // Part Six // Noah Sebastian Urban Fantasy AU Fic

Tropes and Tags: MM, MF, MFM, MFM, instalove, too much sex, tattooed men, polyverse, shapeshifters.

CW: 18+ only minors DNI. Urban Fantasy romance, Smut. Angst. Fluff (ish), Story includes D/S themes, mentions of blood and gore, mentions of drug use and distribution, mentions of prostitution, unprotected sex, male receiving oral sex, female receiving oral sex, cuckolding, P/A sex, P/V sex.

This work below is fictionalized ideas and stories involving real people but does not directly reflect their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction.

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Under the haunting glow of a single desk lamp, Jolly brooded in his shadowy office, pouring himself a glass of amber liquor. Noah sat silently in the corner, shirtless, as their new plaything slept serene in the room next door.

"What do you know about her?" Jolly asked, swirling the liquid ominously.

"Nothing, master," Noah confessed into the darkness. "She broke into the lab the night we met. Oli and I hunted her down, but I can’t explain what possessed me..."

Jolly's eyes glinted knowingly. Holding up his hand to stop Noah’s rambling, "I have a theory," he uttered grimly.

Noah's brow furrowed as he rose from his seat, perching uneasily on the corner of Jolly's desk. Jolly sighed, massaging the tension from his temples before taking a long sip of whiskey. He had sensed it immediately - the moment he stepped into her apartment. Her blood was tainted. When she'd packed her bags to leave, he'd managed to retrieve the syringe from her things and sent it off for analysis. With a grave expression, he opened his email to show Noah the results.

"Nightshade. Mixed with several other chemicals to create some kind of depowering serum," he said ominously. "With the right measurements and equipment, this could mean real danger for all of us."

Jolly strokes his beard thoughtfully, his weary eyes fixed on the test results. "What troubles me is the serum has a powerful effect on her, if she were human I don’t think it would do anything other than make her violently ill.” 

Noah cocked his head to the side looking to the wall, where just on the other side she was slumbering. “She is no mage,” Jolly continued “I've searched our records and found no birth or family history for her. Without consent, I can’t trace her lineage further. And even then, the serum in her blood hinders my efforts."

Noah inquires in a gentle tone, "How long before the serum fades?"

Jolly sighed, setting his glass down on the desk, slumping in his office chair. "I can’t say for certain." His brow furrows with concern and unease over the mystery surrounding this unusual girl.

Noah tensed, his head snapping up as he swiveled to face the office door. Jolly followed his gaze, sensing what had startled him. The door creaked open and she tiptoed in, arms wrapped around herself protectively. Clad only in her underwear and a tank top, her tousled hair falling around her shoulders. Jolly glimpsed the fear in her eyes as she halted just inside the office, her wary gaze fixed on Noah. She seemed hesitant, as if ready to flee at any moment.

She froze a few steps away from the desk, her feet like lead weights refusing to carry her any closer. Noah and Rosa continued their intense gaze, oblivious to her presence. "You're real," she breathed.

Noah rose slowly from the desk, turning with deliberate caution to approach her.

"Steady now," Jolly murmured, sensing her apprehension. Though he could prevent what she was feeling, some instinct gave him pause. She shrank back as Noah neared, his imposing height and brisk stride striking fear in her, her face turning pale.

"There now, it's alright," Jolly soothed, watching as Noah gradually closed the gap between them, his towering frame looming over her trembling form. "He won’t hurt you, pretty girl."

Her limbs were trembling, arms crossing over her body attempting to steady herself. Jolly breathed in deep, letting out a sigh before turning his eyes to Noah. 

"Kneel," he ordered, his voice firm but not unkind. Noah didn’t need to look his master's way, he obeyed without hesitation, sinking to the floor. His eyes remained fixed on her, radiating the strength and compassion that allowed her to trust him completely. 

“Go ahead,” Jolly said gently. Rosa slowly unfolded her arms, her fingers grazing Noah's cheek before cradling his face in her palm. With a tender caress of her thumb across his cheekbone, Rosa's breath escaped her parted lips as understanding dawned in her soft features. Noah purred contentedly, nestling into the comfort of her touch.

“That night, on the roof,” her voice cracked. Noah's hand encircled her wrist as he gently pushed her back. In an instant, his body shifted, morphing into the form of a four-legged beast. Sitting calmly with sadness in his large, dark eyes, the hound regarded her softly. Though changed on the outside, Noah still remained within.

Covering her face in shock, she staggered backward, tripping over her own feet and crashing to the floor. Jolly shot up from his chair and rushed to her side in an instant. Noah rose to his feet, but a wave of his master's hand sent him back down, sitting on his haunches and awaiting his next command.

"No, no, no. This can't be real. Just a hallucination, a figment of my imagination. It's not possible," she muttered, shaking her head and rambling in a panic as Jolly pulled her against his chest.

"Shhh, pretty girl. Rosa, take it easy. I can explain everything," he soothed, brushing her hair with his hands as she trembled in his grasp.

Golden light from the setting sun filtered into the apartment, bathing everything in its warm glow. Noah's head rested in her lap, his eyes closed in peaceful slumber. She had been gently running her fingers through his soft brown hair for the past hour, and the soothing motion had lulled him into a deep sleep. Though her legs were starting to tingle and go numb beneath his weight, she didn't have the heart to disturb his rest. Something about watching Noah's chest rise and fall steadily filled her with tenderness. So she sat perfectly still, despite the pins and needles in her legs.

It was all almost too much for her to take in at once. Mages, magic, multiple dimensions - Jolly's revelations earlier that day had left her reeling. She had wept until she was hiccuping and gasping for breath, completely overwhelmed. Noah had simply gathered her up in his strong arms when her legs gave out, carrying her back to the plush bedroom and laying her gently on the bed. He then settled himself in her lap, a comforting presence as she continued to process everything she had learned.

He lies next to her, his chest rising and falling steadily as he drifts into slumber. The rhythm of his breathing is soothing, a balm to her fraying nerves. But even as the room darkens with the fading light, her mind continues to race, thoughts crashing together like waves breaking upon rocks. She is torn between the comfort of his presence and the chaos of her own uncertainty. His tranquility is a stark contrast to the tempest that rages within her.

The door creaks open and in steps Jolly, his features illuminated by the soft orange hues. He moves cautiously, not wanting to wake the sleeping Noah. A smile spreads across Jolly's face as he spots the two of them snuggled up together on the bed. He tiptoes over and carefully sits on the edge, gazing down at the heartwarming scene with joyful affection. The tranquil atmosphere envelops them all as the day gives way to night.

Noah's eyes fluttered open to find Jolly's kind face smiling down at him. "It's time for you to go to work," Jolly said softly, though Rosa's heart sank. She didn't want this perfect moment to end. Rosa wished Noah could stay here with her forever.

Jolly reached out, brushing his fingers against Rosa's cheek as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't worry," he murmured. "Noah will just be downstairs if we need him."

Noah sat up stretching his long limbs, taking her face in his large hands, his warm lips pressed softly against her forehead as he cradled her face. The tender kiss lingered for a moment before he pulled away, leaving her longing for more. Turning to Jolly, Noah placed one last gentle kiss on his master's lips. She watched wistfully as Noah hopped off the bed, stealing one final glance back into the room, his eyes filled with affection. As he disappeared down the hall, she sighed contentedly, cherishing the sweet intimacy they had just shared.

She whispers the question into the stillness of the room, her voice trembling, "Who am I now?" She does not expect a reply from Jolly, but he sighs deeply, gathering her legs into his lap. His strong hands begin massaging her feet, working out the tension that has built up within her.

"Now?" His deep voice rumbles in response. "You're here with me, sweet girl. Right by my side where I can keep you safe."

His fingertips dig into her arches, soothing away the ache she feels. "Noah and I won't let anyone or anything come for you. You belong to us. We'll protect what's ours."

His words wrap around her like a warm blanket, comforting and shielding her. A lump forming in the back of her throat, “You can’t save me from me.”

She feels her breath catch as his thoughts drift to what's coming. The moment when the shots wear off and it returns. A shiver runs through her. She doesn't want to think about it, but she can't stop the thoughts from swirling through her mind. The agony that awaits, the pain that will wrack her body. Rosa wraps her arms around herself, as if she could protect herself from what's to come. But she knows that when the medication fades, there will be no escape. The torment will find her again, just as it always does. She squeezes her eyes shut, wishing she could block it all out. But there is no blocking this out.

Jolly's voice came out in a low, predatory purr. He leaned closer to her, his dark eyes gleaming with possessiveness. "Oh yes, my precious one. I most certainly can."

The words dripped from his lips like honey, sweet yet dangerous. He looked ready to consume her, to claim her as his own. There was an alpha edge to him, a dominant protectiveness that both thrilled and frightened her. He would keep her safe, keep her close. She had no doubt.

His hands grip her thighs, parting them gently as he settles his muscular frame between her legs. She sits up on her palms before his hand presses into her chest, softly easing her back  down into the bed.

 "Easy, pretty girl," he murmurs, trailing kisses along her cheek and nose before finding her lips in a tender caress. His voice is a low rumble as he pulls back to meet her gaze. "Let me take your mind off your troubles tonight, baby. Just relax and let me make you feel good."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him against her with an urgent need. This was exhilarating yet unsettling - emotions she had never felt before. The Mage blood, Jolly had said. Magic calls to magic. The magnetic pull of her soul beckoned him, drawing her irresistibly into his orbit like a moth to a flame. He was the dominant force, exerting his gravitational power, pulling her ever closer like the moon to the earth. She felt helpless to resist, powerless against the primal attraction, needing to be one with him. His raw masculine energy called to her feminine essence, two halves of the same whole destined to unite. But it wasn’t just Jolly that consumed her with desire. It was the beast in sheep’s clothing, whose fire burned in his eyes when he looked at them both. She wanted Noah to envelope her in his strong embrace, to feel his fierce protection. The primal beast within ignited her own. This captivating man awakened something deep inside her, a connection she didn't yet understand but yearned to explore.

"How long before it wears off?" she breathes between fervent kisses, her hands hungrily roaming through his hair and down his muscular back, desperate for more of him.

"Who knows, darling," he growls in her ear, his lips trailing hot kisses down her neck as his strong hands caress her body. "Could be weeks, but one thing I do know..." He pauses to nip at her collarbone, eliciting a gasp of pleasure. "The more we get that delicious blood of yours pumping..." His fingers trail down her stomach, eliciting delicious shivers. "The faster you'll burn it off."

As Jolly’s hands glide up her torso, pushing her shirt higher, a shiver of anticipation courses through her. His touch ignites her skin, each caress stoking the fire within. “So soft,” he murmurs, trailing kisses down her neck to her chest, his warm mouth leaving a blazing trail across her flushed skin. 

With a hunger in his eyes, Jolly's hands roamed down her curves, his fingers curling around the lace of her panties. In one smooth motion, he stripped them off, exposing her fully to his ardent gaze.  Her legs wrapped around his waist as if they had a mind of their own, pulling him closer as their bodies moved together. She could feel his cock pressing against her thigh, moaning at the sweet pressure. She held him tighter, wordlessly pleading for more, and his knowing smile against her lips told her he understood.

"You want this as much as I do, don't you pretty girl?" he murmured, his nose brushing hers intimately. She nodded, their noses rubbing tenderly, ready and willing to give herself to him completely.

He gazed at her with desire burning in his eyes, his body aching to feel her surround him. "Come to me, sweet girl," he whispered hoarsely, rolling onto his back, shimmying out of his pants, and beckoning her closer.

She straddled his lap, her heart pounding as she took his thick, hard length in her hands. With gentle yet firm hands, he caressed her face, turning it so their eyes met in a moment of ecstasy. "Let me see that beautiful face as you take me in," he murmured, his voice thick with passion. Slowly she sank down, enveloping him in her velvety heat, gasping as he stretched and filled her so exquisitely. "That's it, gorgeous," Jolly rasped, his words stoking the fire within. 

She gasped as he slid into her, the friction sending sparks through her body. "You feel so good, baby," he growled, his strong hands guiding her hips. She began to rock slowly, savoring the feeling of him filling her up. His eyes were closed in ecstasy, lips parted as he held back moans. She wanted more. Her body ached for release, and she knew he needed it too, that primal urge driving him wild. She rode him harder, faster, crying out at the exquisite sensations. He thrust up into her, muscles taut, focused only on their shared pleasure. She was close, so close, his hands and body pushing her towards the edge. "Come for me," he commanded, his gravelly voice soaked in desire. She shattered around him, ecstasy crashing through her in waves. Flopping down onto his chest as she caught her breath.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his voice husky and low. He kissed her deeply, passionately, their tongues dancing. She was dizzy, drunk on his kisses, his touch, the way he possessed her so completely.

"Mmm, you feel so good wrapped tight around me, baby," he groaned, thrusting deep inside her dripping heat. She whimpered, lost in ecstasy as he filled her again and again. His dirty words in her ear made her clench around him.

"That's right, come for me. I want to feel you let go."

She cried out as her pleasure crested, drowning in sensation. He held her close, murmuring praise and encouragement.

"So perfect, just like that."

His lips grazed her throat, teasing her tender skin. She clung to him, gasping his name like a prayer. He increased his pace, driving into her relentlessly.

"One more, pretty girl. I know you have it in you."

His fingers found her clit, circling with just the right pressure. Her body sang, arching and tensing as she rocketed over the edge again. His groan rumbled against her body as he followed, spilling deep inside her pulsing heat.

They collapsed together, replete. He stroked her face tenderly, gazing at her with adoration.

"You good, baby?"

She nodded, smiling dreamily. He had taken her apart and put her back together again, leaving her thoroughly satisfied.

#bad omens #bad omens cult #bad omens band #noahsebastian fanfic #noah sebastian #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian fanfic #joakim jolly karlsson smut #joakim jolly karlsson fic #jolly karlsson #urban fantasy #dark romance #romance #bad omens au #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fic #blood of eden

[dballzposting]

OK so long story short the other day I was abusing the computers at my job to look up dragon ball characters and I came across THIS IMAGE of GOTEN that I found out was from DRAGON BALL AF which is a fan-made thing and idk . Dont worry about the details.

I thought it was soooo cool like put my chin in my hands and sigh lovingly. But also it was more of a rant-and-rave kind of adoration. Becasue I couodt beleieve how cool it was. Becasue here is why

Im super bad at deisgns or redesigns and sometimes I have epic ideas but if I don't then I don't. I think it would be stellar if we had a design for Goten & Trunks when they're older than GT and running the sword dojo. And I've tried to cook some up. But it vexes me for two reasons. First of all Dragon Ball deisgns when colored are gaudy and stupid looking. But also sometimes they use neutral colors. And they're eccentric and unique. And I try to mix all of these factors and the result Does Not Work. Becasue despite the plentiful love that I have for colors, I Do Not Understand Color Theory. Definitely not enough to push it to its limits like dragon ball does. My second problem is the actual clothes themselves. There is something wrong with me that makes it so that i eschew research like my life depends on it. I'm sure it's totally possible to gather a minimal understanding of what sorts of clothing / eras / disciplines certain dragon ball styles are based on, and to cross-reference that with what is actually depicted in dragonball, and come up with an outfit that gels. But I cannot do that. So yeah

This outfit featured here is so familiar yet unique enough to turn my head a bit. For an example. The yellow above his shoes. What is that. Don't answer that. I'm in love either way

THEY JUST ... PICKED TWO COLORS? That's it? THAT'S ALLOWED ????? Just TWO COLORS and only ONE of them isn't a dead-tone-neutral-non-color. Well I guess it's four colors, and still, only one (yellow) isn't a non-color (grey and white and black). I'M SO IMPRESSED !?!??!?!!??

The only idea that I had for post-GT Goten was FOR SOME REASON the visual flair of something long and sharply flowing off of him. Like a scarf, or a long sash, or a Dr Drakken style rattail. But I can't do all three. Becasue that's too much. But I like all three. So IDK what to do.

YEAH THEY WENT ON AHEAD AND GAVE HIM THIS SASH ON HIS HEAD. Sure. Go on ahead. Throw it on there. Looks good. Good contrast against his black hair. Makes it to you can draw his eyebrows over it and so he can emote clearly. SO GENIUS. So simple. I'm gobsmacked

HE'S COLORED LIKE A BUMBLE BEE ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!

My conclusion is that this is the best non-canon design of adult Goten that has ever been and we should all adopt it immediately from Dragon Ball AF. I am so stunned and impressed by the fact that he is wearing just grey and yellow. I have tried to break down all of Goten's canon outfits to find a pattern in the color schemes but I could not find one. But I can tell when it works for him or not and I don't understand how or why. I have at various points tried to design new outfits for him. I have experimented with yellow, teal, pink... Never really red because red only appears on two of his outfits in a minor way. More astutely because red is not really Him (like it is for Bura or Videl).

Definitely the most promising color I've found for him is Yellow. It's a sunshine-soulchild color. But I still haven't figured out how to practically incorporate it. For example, is it a predominate color or one of several? I've seen dragon ball outfits go either way. I definitely prefer the former becasue that's how I'm used to seeing it in my silly little western cartoons - every character has a color, don't they? And that's Their color. But this is dragon ball.

If you pull a warm yellow or pair it with orange, you are reminded of kid Goten and his orange gi. If you keep it colder or pair it with green, you get something reminding you of his EOZ "Goten Son" shirt. But what if you want something new? The next step in the evolution of Son Goten, but still unmistakably him? You would want to stay away from yellow and orange, becasue Trunks wears a lot of that himself. What about yellow and not a green bice, but a forest green? What about muddy non-colors? Dragon ball colors tend to be warm-shifted becasue it was the 90s, but you can work within that color range. But exactly HOW? What about yellow and pink? Teal? Aqua?? You can't use lavender (Trunks's color). And to be fair I have experimented with grey before, since he wears grey pants in DBS:SH. But I always tried to find other colors to shoehorn in there because I thought I had to. And what's really left...?

DRAGON BALL AF has the answers.

Yellow and GREY.

....THAT;S IT!!!!!!!!!!!

A mature grey. NO OTHER FLUFF.Just straight up. Yelloew and grey.

And he looks like a bumble bee. I love bumble bees. You love bumble bees. He loves bumble bees. We all love bumble bees.

I will close with a quote:

"Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see." (Arthur Schopenhauer, 1788-1860).

THIS DESIGN IS GENIUS.

Thank You ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#JUST. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!! #SOOOOO GOOD.... #dballz posting #goten

[fantasy-mixtapes]

❄️ Lucy Frostblade ❄️

Fantasy High Junior-Year Mini-Playlist

It's blizzarding where I am, so I've decided it's the perfect time to post my first Fantasy High NPC playlist. Lucy has been captivating my little theorist mind for weeks now, and God, I have so many feelings about her. A lot of the situations that I have this playlist highlighting are very much headcanons/theories about who she was, her relationships, and the events leading up to her death. (also, they are all winter-themed. None of them are explicitly "holiday," but one is holiday adjacent, as it comes from Sufjan Steven's holiday album and is inspired by Christmas, though it is instrumental)

Genres: Alternative, Folk, Instrumental

Vibes: Moody, Introspective, Spiraling, Winter

SPOILERS AND THEORIES BELOW

1. Winter is Blue, Vashti Bunyan

Winter is blue Living is gone Some are just sleeping In spring, they'll go on Our love is dead Nothing but crying Love will not find even One more new morning Why must I stay here Rain comes I'm sitting here Watching love moving Away into yesterday

Vashti Bunyan is a name in folk that you need to know. She's 79, and she's still writing amazingly gorgeous music. This one comes from my personal winter solstice mix that I've had since high school, so every year when wintertime rolls around, this song is always one that I am vibing to. I think the way it gets at this really soft sadness is perfect for lucy and how she worked with her goddess.

2. If Winter Ends, Bright Eyes

I dreamt of a fever one that would cure me of this cold, winter-set heart With heat to melt these frozen tears burned with reasons as to carry on Into these twisted months I plunge without a light to follow But I swear that I would follow anything Just get me out of here

Ok, this ties into a theory I have. We were only told a few things about Lucy in her introduction but one of the things that was reiterated several times by Brennan as Yolanda Badgood was that she was deeply sad/depressed. And part of that comes with the territory of her god, Ruvina, whose domain includes sadness, coldness, and winter.

Lucy, before her death, tries to switch her god (whether of her own volition or not) to Ankarna. Ankarna, as we found out, is a sibling of Ruvina and a Summer god, which might also put them originally as a god of joy and warmth- acting as a foil to Ruvina's sadness. So maybe part of the motivation that Lucy had to switch gods was to find something that could bring her out of her depression.

What confirms this to me is that in the d20 mid-season recap, after they show Kristen talking with Yolanda about Lucy, they end it with a clip of Ally as Kristen."Was it to something more positive?"

3. Winter Wonderland, Animal Collective

Mold of the fawn I have been frozen there for days With headlights reflecting in my face I must be cold on your lawn But inside I'm okay I can live without your time Where snowmen never melt Instead, they all went shy And if you don't believe in fantasy Then don't believe in fantasy Do you not believe in fantasy because it gets you down? If you don't believe it's raining I won't tell you that it's raining Do you not believe it's raining just because it gets you down? And if you don't believe in happiness Then don't believe in happiness If you don't believe in happiness then man you must be down If you don't believe you're dying I won't tell you that you're dying But do you not believe you're dying just because it gets you down?

You can find my thoughts on this song here!

4. The Incarnation, Sufjan Stevens

(instrumental)

This song I picture playing under the miracle Kristen performs, releasing the souls of Lucy and Yolanda in the forest. It is truly gorgeous, and I think the reverence and mystery in it is perfect for a miracle of doubt

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #d20 #spotify #fhjy spoilers #fantasy mixtapes #lucy frostblade #d20 lucy #Spotify

[sapphire-weapon]

In your opinion, is the laugh from Leon at the end of the Ada and Leon encounter in the castle one of amusement, or more like frustration? People seem to interpret it as him being charmed by her which has lead to some butting of heads. I'm not really sure how to take it myself, but I feel like there's some lingering attachment there mixed with a lot of frustration... y'know, with her whole elusive, never explaining herself thing. Gets a little old for him, maybe.

I know you personally interpret Leon as being done with her shit, but I still wanted to know what you thought!

I think that "charmed" is a good word, but I don't think that people are using it the way that it should be used in that context. Leon isn't "charmed" by her in the sense that he just fell in love with her all over again; Leon is "charmed" by her in the sense that he found that particular interaction endearing.

I've seen people make the argument that Leon didn't actually know that Ada was alive until that very moment of reuniting in the castle, and he's just become so incredibly good at masking his emotions that it catches her off guard -- but I don't agree with that interpretation. For him to be so shocked at Krauser's introduction kind of disproves that theory, because -- remember, Krauser didn't even fake his death in this version of the story. And Leon is still so surprised to see him.

The way I interpreted their reunion was that Leon has seen unconfirmed reports of someone matching Ada's description running around doing shady shit in bioterror situations -- maybe even on missions he's personally run (RE4 was OG Leon's first federal mission but not Remake Leon's first federal mission; he's been doing this shit for a while already) -- so he's already been through the "what the... Ada???? I thought that bitch was fuckin dead!" (kudos to whoever gets that reference) song and dance in his head. But there was no hard and fast evidence that it actually was her -- until she finally tries to hold him up in the castle, and it all clicks into place as "confirmed" for him.

So, I think the smirk/pseudo-laugh following their reunion is born from a few different places:

Leon is genuinely happy to learn that she is, in fact, still alive. Being able to see her and confirm it with his own eyes was probably such a relief for him.

He's probably feeling at least a little bit smug that he was right about the aforementioned reports. So, not only was it relieving to know she's okay, it feels good to find that he was right.

She's not even trying to put up a front for him this time; he actually got to see and talk to the real Ada for perhaps the very first time ever (at least, in his mind; we as the audience know that Ada was being genuine with him at several different points in RE2, but Leon has no way of knowing that, himself). It's probably endearing for him to actually see her as her true self for a change.

The way that she exits the conversation (through the window after a tongue-in-cheek offering of sex??? LMAO) is so extra and over the top and so very Ada. It was very likely a very endearing "some things never change" moment for him.

I genuinely believe that their reunion was a feel-good moment for Leon for all four of those reasons -- and all of that can be true with it also being true that he's not willing to put up with her bullshit anymore.

The two of them don't speak again until the radio transmission where Ada tells Leon that she saw Verdugo carrying Ashley to the throne room. A lot happens between those two points (including "the fall [in love]" moment between him and Ashley, which, when juxtaposed beside the way that he fell for Ada, is striking in its contrast) and a lot of time passes in which Leon can let the enormity of his actual emotions re: seeing Ada again sink in -- and it also happens right after Ashley is taken from him, so that's why he snaps off with "I guess you're not completely heartless" in that conversation. (He's also probably still butthurt about the "leave the girl" remark, too, which only makes his reaction more volatile.)

And that kind of sets the tone for their interactions/relationship for the entire rest of the game. Leon cares about Ada (because lbr he cares about everyone), he's happy and relieved that she's alive and okay, and he's glad to see her again if only just for closure's sake -- but he's done with her shit, otherwise. He has nothing to prove to her anymore, he doesn't need validation from her anymore, whatever romantic attachments he had to her in RE2 are long-since dead, and he refuses to make the same mistakes twice.

All of these things can be true at the same time. And, in RE4make, they are.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ada wong #meta analysis #i think a lot of people get confused when it comes to my interpretations of things because like #i openly and vocally hate aeon as a ship #but i love leon and i genuinely do really like ada #especially in remake i REALLY like ada #and i don't necessarily want the two of them to be at odds #i just want their relationship to be better written #so i just try to look at their relationship as objectively as possible #like 'what is this actually being represented as in the text' sort of thing #and to be clear #i do that with EVERY relationship in RE #romantic or platonic or familial #what does the text actually say #and in the OG storyline yes it's romantic whether i like it or not #but in remake it's no longer romantic #leon's done with her #but that doesn't mean he hates her or even dislikes her or anything like that #and i'd be kinda sad if he did tbh #because that's not who he is as a character

[kooldewd123]

Lots of interesting things about Lucius from today's episode and the new preview!

First off, we finally know the identities of all six Heroes and it's a bit of an... eclectic mix. When we first learned about Lucius, I expected Rayquaza to be the only legendary on the team since it's the special Pokemon the story is built around, but the presence of Moltres and Entei alongside Arboliva, Lapras, and Kleavor ends up giving the whole group a very weird vibe for an anime team. It kinda feels like a kid just picking their favorites lol. I'm guessing we'll see Lapras, Kleavor, and Entei in that order since that's the order Diana listed them.

We also have this image giving us hints of how our future Hero encounters will go down. Lapras seems to be part of a pack, so I'm guessing we'll get something similar to the Arboliva encounter, where the RVTs earn its trust after helping the pack. I think each Hero will probably be found in its native region, so it could be fun if this whole thing takes place around Roy's island (although it might still be a bit too early to revisit it). Then, judging by the blurry Kleavor image, probably some sort of encounter where they hear about a rampaging monster from the locals and go to investigate. The black and white makes me wonder whether it's been hanging around in this area for a while - maybe something that's has its own little folk legend spring up around. Entei's image is too vague to really make any strong guesses about. Rayquaza, on the other hand, is very interesting, as it appears to be in Motostoke again. Are we going to be returning there at some point or is it just a flashback?

The next interesting tidbit is that the Explorers were apparently connected to Lucius at their inception. This becomes much more suspicious, however, when you realize that aside from Hamber and (presumably) Gibeon, the Explorers don't seem to actually know much about Lucius at all. All the underlings know is "capture the pendant." Neither Amethio nor Spinel actually knew that the pendant was a Pokemon, both of them maintained tunnel vision on the pendant even when directly faced with the Heroes, and neither seemed to have any knowledge of a black Rayquaza, despite it being the only Pokemon explicitly named in Lucius's legend. Gibeon and Hamber are clearly withholding information from the rest of the organization and taking advantage of their peons' loyalty in order to accomplish whatever their true goals are. The question now is whether the two of them are somehow connected to the original Explorers or if they're just using their name.

And finally, we have what appears to be an actual photograph of Lucius, which threw me for a loop. I compared it to the glimpse of him we saw after the Moltres capture, and it definitely seems like same person. I thought he lived several centuries ago, but I went back to Alex's telling of the legend and it's only about a hundred??? That seems way too recent considering how he's been treated in the story but whatever. Anyway, the prior episode already established the high likelihood that Liko's family is somehow associated with Lucius, what with Diana finding the pendant and journal in her attic. Now that we have a full-body shot of Lucius, the design similarities between him and Liko/Diana are very apparent. I've been skeptical of the theories he was related to them before this point, but I can't deny that the evidence is growing rapidly. The curious implication about it is that with the stated hundred-year timeframe (assuming it's not a mistranslation or a misdirect), he's probably no more than two generations removed from Diana herself. I'm not quite sure whether I like the idea of him being her father since she would easily recognize him if she had this picture all along, but a grandfather or older uncle could work. Or maybe this isn't a picture of Lucius after all and everything I just said will crumble to dust in an episode or two. Who knows!

#pokemon horizons #pokemon #anipoke #pokemon lucius #pokemon explorers #kool speaks

[trollcafe]

Yes please, I would love to hear about your descendants!

"Wonderful! Now, mind you, I only have two descendants of my own.

Juleus and Augest. Or as some may know them, Jules and Dr. Auggie. Auggie is the eldest. I've spoken with him several times. He looks more like Necrol than he does me but he wouldn't know- he was hatched blind! He's an astronomer, studies stars and they way he believes they communicate, studies radiowaves and all sorts of fancy science I'm not privy to. Not Fleet sponsored, mind you, he's one of two who has managed to avoid the Fleet. Smart bastard. Considers himself unremarkable because of a lack of a title, but if anything his dedication to keep going despite honor says more than any title can. He's got no descendants of his own.

Juleus, however...he doesn't look a thing like me. Not sure where he sprouted from. He left the hive early to be a pirate, followed by his moirail Brutus. From what I hear, Juleus was quite the first mate! That's where he earned his title, after all. Where Augest has avoided buckets, Juleus...well, there's a handful of crude jokes I'll refrain from making. Juleus was sort of...grandfathered into the Fleet. The story goes that Brutus got their ship captured, and Juleus negotiated trading his freedom for theirs. Using his status as a Monark freed his captain, but ultimately left himself trapped. As such, he developed an obsession with creating the perfect descendant. The perfect Monark to take over his spot. Most did not survive, but I'm more than happy to dig into those who have.

The eldest is Archai. Juleus got close with Chai, but she was hatched with a weak immune system. I believe the way Juleus went about creating his descendants was by mixing castes with himself. He tried fuchsia and fuchsia here. Good in theory, but ultimately produced a sickly grub. Though she tried, she simply couldn't stay healthy. I've had lots of conversations with Chai. She's very sweet, very patient. You'd never guess how far she got. She spends her time studying art history now! A wonderful change of pace for her. On Alternia, she has access to the medications she needs to stay healthy, and hasn't had a flare-up in some time.

Next would be Jawska. Or JK, as he prefers. Juleus tried rust and fuchsia with this one. Jawska is the second Monark who managed to avoid Fleet service, but he isn' without hardships of his own. From what he said, MegaDad kicked him out at a very young age to prevent Juleus from finding him. JK is a scrappy, intelligent, but surprisingly meek fellow. You can really see the lowblood in him when he gets cornered. Quick thinker, very hardy. Juleus would've had a successful heir, even with JK's bad back. If you ask me, it's a good thing he never found him. JK was a tattoo artist, shifted gears to being a seamster, and has started to shift back into art once again. He only came to my attention after a random attack seemingly killed him. My good friend Sinopa took care of it, and now Jawska is right as rain again. He's shown me pictures of his moirails, they make a cute trio.

That leads me to the twins. Now, you may be unaware, but Juleus is incapable of harming children. Maybe it's some old pirate code he follows, but he refuses to harm a child, no matter the cost. He didn't want twins, so he picked the strongest of the two, and told a business partner to get rid of the other. Rather than doing that, Boznik decided to keep Bruuno, and raise her himself. Whether he did a good job or not is besides the point. Bruuno is better known as Bruuno Sinopa, international rockstar and lead of his little band Whysteria. A different last name can't hide just how much of a Monark he is- spitting image of myself, if you ask me. Juleus had the most success with these two, combining fuchsia and purple. As such, Bruuno retained the powers I myself has, though they're more like chucklevoodoos. I'm not even sure she's aware of it!

Then Leonra, is his twin. Where Bruuno got chucklevoodoos, Leonra has the strength of a purple and a fuchsia put together. Leonra was the most successful of Juleus' attempts. But telling Leonra what to do is like telling telling a fire not to burn. Juleus lost any possible chance of Leonra taking his spot the second that kid realized how strong he was. Now, I'm no pushover. I may look like a rusty old man, and sometimes I sure feel like one, but you don't obtain the title Annihilation for nothing. I've been in plenty of fights, I've mediated plenty more. And not even I would want to be on the wrong side of Leonra's anger. I was discussing this with a peer the other day- Leonra has the training of the most elite soldiers the Fleet has ever produced, the logical thinking and problem solving capability to rival a damn computer, and lacks the empathy and bloodlust that is often a General's downfall. And yet, all he wishes to do is build his own things, do his own thing. Truly admirable.

The youngest two Monarks are Shiloh and Rumble. Shiloh is Bruuno's descendant, and Rumble is another of Juleus'. However, last I heard, Rumble is safe and away from the Fleet. And Shiloh is happily cared for by Bruuno. I've yet to meet Rumble! I believe she's the result of Juleus and his current matesprit. I have met Shiloh though. She's a very sweet girl."

#long ish post #beloved speaks #monarks #monark family history #chow.ask

[swordswoman97]

Tears of the Kingdom Theory

So as everyone who's seen the trailer recently knows the trailer shows Link fighting alongside Tulin and Sidon, presumably Riju as well as she also shows up. The trailer also shows Tulin, Riju and Sidon with tears similar to the one we see Zelda holding.

We also see the new champions holding their predecessors weapons, so Riju wielding the Scimitar of the Seven, Tulin wielding the Great Eagle Bow, Sidon seems to wield whether the Lightscale trident or a replica, and in the scene we see Sidon, Riju, and Teba together you can also see what seems to be the end of Boulder Breaker, Daruk's weapon suggesting Yunobu (or another Goron) will similarly pick up Daruk's weapon.

One thing of note though is that Sidon and Tulin don't have the tears in every scene we see them in, only that last one with all of them. And similarly Sidon isn't wearing the crown in the first scene we see him in and Tulin is only wielding a Falcon bow in several other scenes. While we only see Riju with the tear and wielding the Scimitar of the Seven, the other scene her in doesn't look like gameplay, almost like a reveal cutscene.

Now I've believed that we would have to return to the areas we reclaimed the divine beasts in in TOTK to help fix some new issues since we found out Death Mountain was full of malice, and this trailer just confirms it for me more, we see Tulin and Link in a storm fighting some giant ice bug, we see a structure rising out of the Gerudo desert and the desert seemingly sinking in giant sinkholes, and of course there's still Death Mountain full of malice. No idea what's going in Zora's Domain but considering in the scene with all the new champions Sidon is wearing his father's crown I can't imagine it's going well for Dorephan.

I believe that when Link goes to try to save the four races from their current threats, the new champions will accompany him, going on their own arcs eventually culminating in them picking up their predecessors weapons, and possibly gaining their predecessor's powers with the tears, or some new power since of course Yunobu already has Daruk's protection, he can already do that due to being Daruk's descendant (I believe his grandson to be specific) and I'll admit I think Sidon's arc would be better served by him getting a new unique ability that's only his considering a big part of his character in BOTW is the fact that both others around him and Sidon himself seem to regularly compare Sidon to Mipha, with Sidon not quite living up to his sister's role. Sidon isn't his sister, he's himself, and that's enough. Or perhaps it'll be a mix of both, those without the champion's ability will gain that ability and a unique twist on it, to make it uniquely theirs.

#tears of the kingdom #tears of the kingdom spoilers #totk spoilers #totk theory

[transenbyconfessions]

I (she/he/they) have been trying to figure out gender stuff for a long time, and this blog has been really helpful to me.

I know I probably don't have it all figured out now, and honestly I don't know if that's ever going to happen, but I've figured out several things that fit and make me happy. And what I have figured out has helped me feel more settled in what I may never figure out.

I don't have many people irl right now I can talk to about gender stuff, so I just wanted to share the terms and minutia I've found that fit me somewhere.

In broad terms I'm genderqueer, and nonbinary

More specifically I am genderfluid, usually multigender, and often blurgender/genderfuzzed (which is defined as; the feeling of having more than one gender that are somehow blurred together to the point of not being able to distinguish or identify individual genders)

I'm fluid between different nonbinary genders, and I'm also genderflux, as in; the intensity of my gender fades in and out. Though I haven't felt as if I ever really have no gender.

Though I am not always able to distinguish the exact individual gender or mix of genders I am at any given time, Ceterogender is a term I like that usually fits well

Ceterogender is defined as a nonbinary gender with specific masculine, feminine, or neutral feelings

I'm fluid, flux, and/or blur between various combinations of ceteromasculine, ceteroneutral, and ceterofemine on a regular basis, maybe even most of the time.

I actively prefer multiple sets of pronouns to be used and mixed when referring to me. Most often she/he/they, he/she/they, he/they/she, etc ( i do not understand why the same three sets in different orders have different vibes, but they do).

Occasionally I like she/they, or he/they. I like a lot of neopronouns in theory, but don't generally use them as 1, I like to have a balance with masc, fem, and neutral pronouns and most neopronouns skew neutral, and 2 I haven't strongly resonated with any I've yet come across

I expect that I won't often have the chances and/or desire to explain in depth my particular gender(s), and I'll just go for genderqueer or nonbinary plus my pronouns. But it is nice to have things put into words. :)

💜💜💜

Submitted March 7, 2023

#genderqueer #transgender #trans #enby #nb #nonbinary #non-binary #non binary #genderflux #ceterogender #questioning

[crystalelemental]

"books-are-my-life-stuff: That's fair, according to skippingmud he hasn't seen percentages higher than 5% yet, and I don't know if 5% increase is worth trading off the flat stat increase, especially in the case of units with low stats who heavily needs the gear (like Anni Steven). But, who knows? I think I'll just wait it out until someone can make a full list of the passives acquired from the feathers."

That tracks. Having messed with it a little bit since this ask, I found a few things out.

Nothing has gone beyond 5% in terms of skill bonuses.

The bonus to HP/Atk/Sp Atk can go up to like 90, so at least in theory, it is possible to roll higher primary numbers than the 3* gear, but at the cost of added defenses in several situations. Though I did see Sp Def +10 on the scarf one.

The only theme skills I've seen are region or type. I've yet to see anything else.

Feathers reset the entire list. I thought it was rerolling for one skill, but it rerolls everything at once. This is at least better odds for a specific skill you want, but...

This makes pins exceptionally valuable to hold those numbers where you want them.

Right now, pins only seem to be exchangeable in the shop for a whopping 20 goddamn 5* powerups, which is completely inaccessible to F2P, and a terrible deal for whales. Those same powerups give significantly better stat returns just getting a pair to 20/20. You're dealing with +100 HP and +40 in every core stat, compared to holding one (1) trait steady. It's not worth it.

Out of curiosity for the exact question of stats or skills being more significant, I did some testing as seen here:

I opted to use Halloween Roxanne, because she has the Role cake I wanted in Strike. The current gear suggests a possibility of up to +30 more attack over 3* gear, and maybe a 5% bonus to damage. But truthfully? If you're looking for both move and sync damage, I never saw anything above 3%, and when they're red they seem to be the cap, so mixed boosts may be 3%. I decided to look at how much of an increase that actually is. To facilitate this, I'm using Roxanne at base, Roxanne without role but with lucky skill Crit Strike 1 (10% compared to 9%), Roxanne with just Role no lucky skill (+40 Atk to +30 Atk), and Roxanne with both. Damage is calculated on-type, without Ground Zone.

At Base (no lucky skill) Buddy Bulldoze: 11,504-12,782 Sync: 96,657-107,397

Lucky Skill CS1 Buddy Bulldoze: 12,211-13,568 Sync: 100,523-111,693

Strike Role Buddy Bulldoze: 12,382-13,758 Sync: 104,037-115,597

Both Buddy Bulldoze: 13,144-14,604 Sync: 108,198-120,221

Stats have greater weight. The bigger jump is the sync. Because of how damage is calculated, the bigger the base power, the more impactful stats are, and you really feel the difference here. But taken in aggregate, if you acquire a full powered gear with the highest stats and the highest possible blended skills for exactly the right conditions, you are looking at, in grand total...about 12% more damage. And these are higher numbers, so realistically, all of this is about 10%.

So to summarize, for the low, low price of 120 5* powerups for the pins to lock skills in place, and upwards of thousands of stamina to farm out feathers literally one at a time because that's all the training area gives you, you too can get the equivalent of HP Advantage 1 for a selected group of sync pairs.

This is the least worthwhile thing they've ever done. Like, I thought the EX Roles were a waste, but holy shit.

#pokemon masters #skill gear

[beardedmrbean]

So my point was proven, nunya! Might as well go all out.

Savethefox, who hide their abuse and normalise owning exotic wild animals, manage to manipulate people so well that even when shown several compilations proving abuse and neglect of foxes, fans will blindly defend them.

A shelter that has fishers in the same house as cats (fishers eat cats and can and will eat small foxes), a shelter that not only lied about foxes dying due to having no sensible safety to stop them from digging or climbing over only to get hit by cars or just disappear, but never actually makes the changes to keep them safe.

Savethefox claims to "rescue" foxes, when they actually buy foxes from fur farms (going in the thousands of dollars) therefore financing the industry they claim to hate.

Savethefox doesn't buy female foxes. They refuse to take them in. They don't care about them. Which is curious, considering they happen to be a rescue...but only for male foxes.

They keep foxes alive when it would be more humane and ethical to have them put down due to the tremendous amount of pain they're in because of a cranial malformation.

They keep a fennec fox as an indoor pet and admit to not letting them out because fennecs and foxes don't mix. Also they admitted to their main mascot fox, Finnegan, having been STOLEN.

They also continue to buy foxes despite at the same time begging for donations because they don't have enough money to feed the foxes they already have. These foxes are going to starve because of one lady's selfish desire to own exotic pets and rake in the monetary benefit of treating them like nothing but toys for the internet to see.

Do not support Save the Fox.

To that lovely person who came into my DMs to bother me about this: Ignoring this massive amount of proof of neglect and mistreatment of foxes is to condone their abuse.

Animal abuse isn't a joke. It isn't fun or quirky.

I'm tired of being nice to people who condone animal abuse, nunya. Sick of it.

I'm back and forth on Save A Fox, I see stuff like what you've provided then I go and look around and see only good or neutral things like i was saying to you about the fox subreddit not having anything negative about them.

NatGeo article I found on the place was a puff piece, only thing I really got out of that one is she needs a taller fence.

Charity navigator has no review, scam advisor has they at 96/100 very positive but that financial responsibility or something not animal welfare.

Really at this point with the whole thing where I'm running into brick walls, which is utterly bizarre. Which with one more bit of information leads me to a plausible theory

You ain't getting a 4.9 star review with 261 reviews, statistically impossible unless you flushed all the bad ones and left a few 4 star to try and add legitimacy. Kind of how I feel with the 96/100 from scam advisor too.

Not gonna flat out say they're bad every single place that was critical of them that I could find was a tumblr blog.

That rubs me the wrong way, there is nearly always going to be something out there so this feels like someone is manipulating the numbers to squelch the bad reviews. Not saying it's happening, but it doesn't sit right with me.

Between what you've got here and the other links you've sent my way there does absolutely look to be something shady.

Really hope she's cautious about adopting hers out, but even if she is she does make it look easy and fun and there will be plenty of disreputable people that won't give a single shit about the animal.

Personally can't go totally negative on the place, but there's a lot of blank spots in the information I can find, which is weird for me.

This is where I usually tell people to do their own research and come up with their own conclusions, but I've been dancing around for over an hour now there's not much out there, so still do it and draw your own conclusions but good luck finding much info.

#honne-ga-deru

[darkwater-reservoir]

So I was bored and decided the best way to spend my time was to try and figure out what darkwater does to the brain and I think I figured it out! So without further ado I present to you 2 hours worth of looking through my psychology notes and Google searches:

How I think darkwater affects the brain

To sum up what I've found darkwater basically increases the dopamine in the brain significantly and, when enough of it is consumed, kills the cells that produce the hormone, replaces them, and produces its own hormones that are similar to dopamine but different enough to cause problems. Now you might be thinking "but isn't dopamine the hormone that makes you feel good n stuff? Why would too much of it be harmful?" And yeah I thought that too at first until I did some more digging and discovered that too much dopamine is just as bad as having too little!!

Too much dopamine can cause people to become competitive, paranoid, aggressive, emotionally unstable, and impulsive. Every character who has been contaminated has displayed most of these traits.

"Ok cool but that doesn't explain why We The People members had difficulty with their motor skills-"

OH BUT IT DOES

In Parkinson's disease the cells that make dopamine deteriorate which causes problems with movement and motor functions such as difficulty with handwriting, stiff movement, and causing an odd gait. These are all things displayed in members of We The People which further proves that darkwater affects dopamine and kills the cells that create it.

Now let's talk about Tsv's hallucinations because they ALSO have to do with dopamine.

A severe lack in dopamine can cause hallucinations. Darkwater increases the dopamine level in the brain a significant amount so if someone were to suddenly stop drinking it, like Tsv did, the sudden severe lack of dopamine would cause them to hallucinate.

This theory also explains why Liaison!Danyon was so power hungry. His insecurities mixed with the aggression, paranoia, and the competitiveness caused by the high amounts of dopamine caused him to crave power and control.

Now this is just a theory and I am by no means a neurologist or a psychologist but I think this is pretty sound. I'm pretty sure Aidan never really put much thought into darkwater anyways besides like "what if the water was evil would that be fucked up or what" but I really like psychology and over analyzing fictional things so here's this lol

TLDR darkwater increases the dopamine in your brain which is why everyone who drinks it gets so fucked up

#the sun vanished #thesunvanished #tsv #danyon #wtp #liaison!danyon #can you tell i really like psychology? because I really like psychology

[theselfdoubtdiaries]

28th November 2023

Dear Fran,

ergh i know, it's been ages. So I was maybe (definitely) avoiding writing because I was feeling dissatisfied and a bit stuck in the studio. Also it's been busy? I moved house, did a quick trip to CBR, have been making work for a Gaza relief fundraiser, normal teaching AND trying to be in the studio plus gym and life and all the rest. Anyway, I've got a tub of porcelain casting slip now and som tests out of the kiln and now I feel better about life.

It's been gloomy a lot here in Sydney recently. Lots of overcast days and humidity and rough seas. Also lots of pufferfish washing up on Bondi Beach. It was only three, all in one day last week but we almost never get fish on the beach so it was weird. Usually its just seaweed, trash, bits of wood, mangrove seedlings and leaves. Maybe there was a storm out at sea...regardless, when I was walking the beach today I found this beautiful clump of moss washed up on the sand. It had so many different kinds of lichen and moss all mixed together and the little fronds were so pretty, and the colours so bold against the sand and grey skies I had to photograph it. And then process it and turn it into this! Dunno what it is but I alway enjoy making new images out of my photos. Not the best quality though...I wonder how i can improve that?

In other news I'm reading a really good book called In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado. It's really interestingly written, each chapter is written from a different literary lens. But it opens with several interesting quotes and concepts. One from Louise Bourgeois I thought you might like, and seems very apt considering the amount of rubble in the world at the moment, and our recent discussions of ruins, rubble and architecture. "You pile up associations the way you pile up bricks. Memory itself is a form of architecture." and this quote is beautiful to me. I like the parallels its draws between the architecture of the mind, the places and spaces we create there, and the physical memories buildings can hold in the real world. And all the things in between. This quote honestly makes me want to read art theory and critiques more.

Outside of this book, I bought 2 more to read after. I think my eyes have been hankering for something other than a screen and my brain feels not as full as it could. I'm looking forward to having you visit the studio again here in Bondi.

Take care. xxxxxx

Zoe

#selfdoubt #creative process #studiolife #artlife

[technocinema]

Reality Frictions explores the intersection of fact and fiction on screen

I am extremely happy to report that my feature length documentary/video essay, "Reality Frictions," is finally complete! Huge thanks go to sound designer/mixer, Eric Marin, whose 5.1 mix completely transformed the audio experience of the film for theatrical exhibition.

Although I have been researching this topic and gathering materials on and off for several years, the project went into high gear about a year ago when I posted a call to the scholars and makers associated with the Visible Evidence documentary film community, requesting examples of "documentary intrusions" -- roughly defined as moments when elements from the real world (archival images, real people, inimitable performance, irreversible death, etc.) intrude on fictional or quasi-fictional story worlds.

The response was overwhelming -- in just a few days, I received some 85 suggestions and enthusiastic expressions of support. This community immediately recognized the phenomenon and reinforced many of the examples I had already gathered, while also directing me to dozens more, such as the bizarre and troubling inclusion of Bruce Lee's funeral as a plot device in his final film, Game of Death (1978). For practical reasons, I decided to limit the scope of the project to Hollywood films and their immediate siblings in streaming media & television, but the international community of Visible Evidence noted the erosion or complication of fact/fiction binaries in many non-US contexts as well -- definitely enough for a sequel or parallel project in the future.

As the editing progressed, I quickly realized that the real challenge lay in curating and clarifying the throughline of the project without becoming overwhelmed or distracted by the many possible variations on the fact/fiction theme. The conceptual core of the project was always inspired by Vivian Sobchack's concept of "documentary consciousness," described in her book Carnal Thoughts (2000). Sobchack's inspiration, in turn, derived from a scene in Jean Renoir's film The Rules of the Game (1939) depicting the undeniable, physical deaths of more than a dozen animals as part of the film's critique of the elitism and narcissism of France's pre-war bourgeoisie. Sobchack returned to this scene in two separate chapters of the book for meditations on the ethics and impact of these animal deaths for filmmakers and viewers alike, relating them to both semiotic and phenomenological theories of viewership.

On the advice of filmmakers and scholars who viewed early cuts of the film, nearly all academic jargon has been chiseled out of the narration, leaving what I hope is a more watchable and engaging visual essay that embraces the pleasures and paradoxes found at the intersection of reality and fiction. Additional feedback convinced me to stop trying to make my own VO sound like Encke King, my former classmate who supplies the gravelly, world-weary narration for Thom Andersen's Los Angeles Plays Itself (2003). I've done my best to talk more like myself here, but there's no denying Thom's influence on this project -- both as a former mentor at CalArts and for the strategies of counter-viewing modeled in LAPI. Going back even farther, I would note that it was my work as one of the researchers for Thom's earlier film (made with Noel Burch), Red Hollywood (1996), that got me started thinking about the role of copyright in historiography and the ethical imperative for scholars and media makers to assert fair use rights rather than allowing copyright owners to define what histories may be told with images. This singular insight guided much of my work for the past two decades, realized principally in my ongoing administration of the public media archive Critical Commons (which celebrates its 15th anniversary this month!) as an online resource for the transformative sharing of copyrighted media.

This project also bridges the gap between my first two books, Technologies of History: Visual Media and the Eccentricity of the Past (2011) and Technologies of Vision: The War Between Data and Images (2017). The historiographical focus of this project emerged as an unplanned but retrospectively inescapable artifact of engaging questions of authenticity and artifice, and it afforded the pleasures of revisiting some of my favorite examples, such as Cheryl Dunye's Watermelon Woman (1996) and Alex Cox's Walker (1987), both exemplary for their historiographical eccentricity. An additional, important element of context is the recent emergence and proliferation of generative AI for image synthesis. Technologies of Vision addressed some of the precursors to the current generation of synthetic imaging, which has only accelerated the arms-race between data and images, but recent developments in the field have sharpened the need for improved literacy about the way these systems work -- as well as the kind of agency it is reasonable to attribute to them.

Reality Frictions also aims to intervene in the anxious discourse that has emerged in response to image synthesis, especially among documentarians who feel confidence in photographic and videographic representation slipping away, and journalists besieged by knee-jerk charges of fake news. While I totally understand and am sympathetic to these concerns, challenges to truth-telling in journalism and documentary film hardly began with digital imaging, let alone generative AI. It is axiomatic to this project that viewers have long negotiated the boundaries between images and reality. The skills we have developed at recognizing or confirming the truth or artifice found in all kind of media remain useful when considering synthetic images. Admittedly, we are in a moment of transition and rapid emergence in generative AI, but I stand by this project's call to look to the past for patterns of disruption and resolution when it comes to technologies of vision and the always tenuous truth claim of non-fiction media.

Although the format of this project evolved more or less organically, starting with a personal narrative rooted in childhood revelations about the world improbably drawn from TV of the 1970s, the final structure approaches a comprehensive taxonomy of the ways reality manages to intrude on fictional worlds. Of course the volume and diversity of these instances makes it necessary to select and distill exemplary moments and patterns, all of which provides what I regard as this project's main source of pleasure. One unexpected tangent turned out to be the different ways that side-by-side comparisons trigger uncanny fascination at the boundary between the real and the nearly real. Hopefully without belaboring the point, I aim to parse these strategies from the pleasures of uncanny resemblance to what I view as superficial and mendacious attempts to bolster a flimsy truth claim simply by casting (and costuming, etc.) actors to "look like" the people they are supposed to portray.

Other intersections of fact and fiction are less overt, requiring extra-textual knowledge or the decoding of clues that transform the apparent meaning of a scene. Ultimately, I prefer it when filmmakers respect viewers' ability to deploy existing critical faculties and infer their own meanings. Part of the goal of this project is to heighten viewers' attentiveness to the ways reality purports to be represented on screen; to dissolve overly simplistic binaries, and to suggest the need for skepticism, especially when dramatic flourishes or uplifting endings seem designed to trigger readymade responses. While stories of resilient individuals and obstacles that are overcome conform to Hollywood's obsession with emotional closure and narrative resolution, we should be mindful of the events and people who are excluded by the presumptions underlying these structures.

A realization that develops over the course of the video is that the films with the most consistently complex and deliberate structures for engaging the problematics of representing reality on film come from filmmakers who directly engage systems of power and privilege, especially related to race. From Ava DuVernay's re-writing of Martin Luther King's speeches in Selma (2014), to Ryan Coogler and Spike Lee's inclusions of documentary footage in Fruitvale Station (2013), Malcolm X (1992), and BlacKkKlansman (2018), the stakes are raised for history films with direct implications for continuing injustice in the present. For these makers -- as for the cause of racial justice or the critique of structural power writ large -- the significance of recognizing continuities between the real world and the cinematic one is clear. This is not to argue for a straightforward correspondence between cinema and reality; on the contrary, in the examples noted here, we witness the most complex and controlled entanglements of both past and present; reality and fiction.

In the end, I view Reality Frictions as offering a critical lens on a cinematic and televisual phenomenon that is more common and more complex than one might initially expect. Do I wish the final film were less than an hour long? Yes, and I have no doubt this will dissuade some prospective viewers from investing the time, but once you start heading down this path, there's no turning back and my sincere hope is that I will have made it worth your while.

[akiretv]

THE ABSOLUTE ROLLERCOASTER GOMENS 2 HAS BEEN FROM THIS DEMIROMANTIC'S EXPERIENCE (PLUS BLABBERS ABOUT MY LIFE, ADMITTEDLY I DO TAKE A LONG WHILE TO GET TO GOMENS MY BAD)

Shortly after i reentered the good omens fandom, when the date for the second season's release date had been announced, i figured out i was demiromantic, and, that explained a lot-

i sincerely doubt i've ever felt "love" or being "in love" with someone. the only time i ever had an actual relationship was a boyfriend i had for ONE day in fourth grade primary school and, shocker, i'd "confessed to him" out of indirect peer pressure. Aside from demiromantic, i am also pansexual, and there's been times where i slightly confused and mixed up those two seperate attractions. if there was someone i thought was attractive physically, i would ponder in my head--do i see myself holding hands, kissing, going on romantic dinners with them? my heart gave an honest y u c k, so, hard pass. Plus, there also were times where i'd look at my friends, ranging from close and intimate to usual, and ask myself? what if we were together? but i'd always grimace at the thought of going through all of that relationship mumbo jumbo with that person in specific. keyword, in specific.

I do like romance and the hypothetical thought of being in a commited, fullfilling relationship with someone else--it's just that, whether i thought about it towards someone or someone confessed to me, i never felt to be truly close or know that person properly. i can just FEEL it in my bones,, that i'd be head over heels if i only found that one person i truly knew, intimately, for time on end, and that by chance my brain decided that was relationship material. i just know that i am capable of feeling that romantic love, but alas, just haven't yet.

so, arospec kid--surely won't affect how he views romance in media...

NOW, already past the pure, unadulterated self talk, let's get to relationships in media and queerbait, and how sherlock sucked the life out of me istg

i'm amazingly sure that, since little, i got the formula for romance in shows--series--movies pretty quickly:

"main character gets introduced, with his friends, family, motivations.. a pretty girl appears and they lock eyes. those two will be together."

was it a movie, series, i got it from the start. and i'm SURE i'm not the only one, nor that my demiromanticism m a d e me aware of that. what i'm sure of is that it made my viewing experience of all media following those tropes somewhat less interesting. from the endless "will-they-won't-they" to the sudden tension with no build-up,, the usual runtime of half an hour of a movie, or the twenty minute episodic attitude of shows paired alongside tropes like that just could not achieve the intimacy of a friendship before any actual romantic feelings began to sprout, and it made everything more,, bland for me, knowing everything by default.

nonetheless, i surfed the web, i found fandoms, i found SHIPPING and, most importantly, gay people.

nowadays, i still find a similar struggle with canon queer relationships in media, they borrow the same tropes of love at first sight and nearly build up less catching of feelings that only leave you with the pure awkwardness of the rest of the show until an actual confessing. love at first sight, a concept that seemed so alienating to me for SOME REASON that only now i can pick on why...

gay ships were always there but gay ships never happened in the tv. i did know about lgbtq+ people, although just the basics, my parents ARE allies but rarely frequented the subject when i was little, and representation was severely lacking for media a kid like me would watch in the tv, so it was new, exciting--but impossible as it seemed

i then watched sherlock with my parents

the first episode, with the gay jokes sprinkled in--i hesitated, it did get my hopes up, just a bit, but i just knew, watching big bang theory for so long drilled in my brain that gay people are funny for the gayness

nonetheless, i did go into the internet, i did find johnlock, i did find the johnlock conspiracy and tjlc explained.

even though i discovered all that after all four seasons had been released, i never found anything about the johnlock-less ending of it. with enough dignity to avoid spoilers, i never looked for it, but i swear i SAW kissing clips of them two, darned brain of hopeful kid.

after my parents and i ended the series i was silently devastated, and desperately clutched at the theory videos about the whole last season being inside sherlock's mind palace or mary being evil all along

sherlock fucked me up in many ways, queerbait made me hopeless.

fastforward and my dad calls me to watch a show. there's queen music and a funny-walking demon in it who has to look over the antichrist.

for some reason, i dip five minutes after. I DON'T KNOW MAN, prolly my dad just interrupted me playing something but for some reason, destiny didn't want me to be fully aware of good omens then and there.

some time later, i get recommended aretheygay's video on the ineffable husbands--it's funny, interesting and very rewatchable. i recognise the show and watch it on my own. it's great, in general, but the highlight will always be those two, aziraphale and crowley--the ineffable husbands. that six thousand year long slowburn those two had was like THE DREAM for my demiromantic ass, i just didn't know how to put that into words yet, but now i know why i liked them so much.

nonetheless, the show ended with no actual confirmation. of course, those two didn't need to kiss or fucknasty on screen (unlike a couple two i know off from the same show) to CONFIRM they were in love, but it was the adressing of those actual feelings i longed for, even though i already knew the ending of it thanks to the aretheygay video.

for the next years, my only contact with the fandom was rewatching aretheygay's video, seriously I DUNNO i really like it and it's very rewatchable

until i stumbled upon the second season's release date, a relentless countback that filled me with hope for something beyond the stressful end of a school year. with the heart motif in the posters, then in the intro.. the little trinkets of sneak peeks we saw every once in a while from official sources to the loving theories the fandom created, then the box, the playlists...

all throughout that bumpy road i had my heart up in my sleeve, hopeful and optimistic. what i wanted in terms of representation, in CONFIRMATION was for my dad to be aware that these two man-shaped supernatural beings are in love with each other, and for my mom to believe me when i say it'll happen.

but them every happened. two frames of the kiss were leaked and the fandom was split and some had their viewings ruined and other were relieved and...

i was from the side that was even MORE excited than before, assured. of course, it'd been miles better for it to not have happened, but i could just sigh in relief everytime i thought about the bad omens so many past reviews had left about the "bromance". nonetheless, theories started forming. because on the bright side, we had no context to the kiss!! the build up was what mattered after all!! but on the dark side, we had no context for the kiss. it could very well just not be them--paranoia began to set in, thusly.

with relentless confirmations of both my best and worst hypotheticals from the interviews and reviews that came in, i was by the edge of my seat at all times, in anticipation for good omens season 2.

and then it released. and then i watched it with my parents. and then the possibilities for anyone to morph into aziracrow and kiss instead of them became NONE and my belly ached more and more in anticipation of the kiss, plus, the affirmations of explicit non-bromantic feelings from some bits of the episodes was comforting, to say the least

and then metatron appeared. and then everything went romantically downhill. and then every happened. the kiss happened.

it goes without saying that i cried loads and loads.

talks with my mom afterwards revealed me that she and dad had always gotten them gay vibesTM from those two, even with just season 1 to go to which was very funny.

but the thing is, what sprouted all of this train of thought that's doomed to crash in a tragic derailing of my sleep deprived mind is that.. i'd never cried for a couple fall out before. i'd never cheered after a couple had kissed. i'd never been this INVESTED in a relationship.

it was just so beautiful, ineffable husbands, with their six thousand words year plus five minutes long slow burn. i even absolutely loved their kiss, analysis aside, it's odd for me to tolerate a LIVE ACTION smooching--but i was just so YESS GODDAMMIT for this couple exactly. it's a relief, like a long sigh. to see myself enjoy a relationship just as much as the next guy, at last. it gives me hope to see myself enjoy a real life romantic relationship with myself and another person.

i think that what made me so invested in ineffable husbands was the uncertainty of it all. what i'd been basically indoctrinated by queerbait. and that, since i'd known it before for it's unaddressing ending, i already had views that could and WERE subverted. against all odds, they fucking did it.

i don't know what kind of message to get out of this long ass wall of text. you don't have to try either. it's just,, the first time i really talk about my arospec-ism in general, and how i now realise the ways it's affected me since younger.

yep, an arospec good omens fan, i'm the most rare, extraordinary fella out there amirite?

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #queerbait #queerbaiting #demiromantic #arospec #akirestastic

[thedisneychef]