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#And encouraging because it's true even when the culture acts like it's not
sweaterkittensahoy · 6 months
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Stop misappropriating the abuse and trauma cults use through purity culture for your stupid fucking shipping discourse? Holy fuck no wonder everyone hates this whole discourse.
Since when is "priests getting shuffled around after raping kids and kids being told they're sinful because they had bodily reactions to being SAd" comparable to "Bobo the clown said my ship was cringe"
I'm not gonna answer this with The Aristocrats, as a I threatened, because I want to make a very serious point to this anon:
Purity culture isn't just religious abuse. It is most widely connected to religious abuse. Including actions in the Catholic Church and all fundamentalist Christianity. It's entire existence is about terrifying and indoctrinating people into being fearful of their own actions and bodies so that they feel certain that moving out from the "umbrella of safety" (to use a fundamentalist term) will result in them being harmed in ways they can't imagine. This is generally happening at the same time as they are being harmed by those who are supposed to be keeping them safe from all those terrible, worldly evils. Like speaking up when you're being abused. Believing you are not responsible for the actions of a rapist, and many, many other things that any person with an ounce of self-worth and good sense (two things not allowed in fundamentalist circles) knows are true in abuse situations.
But the point of the purity culture as identity in the above-mentioned circles is to teach people from birth that they aren't to have their own feelings, ideas, or instincts. They are only to follow the feelings, ideas, and instincts on the approved list in order to stay within the structures they know and feel safe in even as they feel very unsafe.
That being said:
Purity culture can also exist WITHOUT a religious structure while still being about controlling the thoughts, feelings, and actions of everyone within it. In terms of fandom, purity culture is groups of people stating that if you write something uncomfortable or gross or immoral, then YOU must be uncomfortable or gross or immoral and therefore, not worthy of the safety and moral superiority of the group.
Purity culture without religion teaches black and white thinking, encourages thought policing, and shames anyone who steps outside of a very narrow definition of good and bad by turning an entire group of people against them for being "bad".
Just like in religious circles.
Just like in the cult of fundamentalism.
Purity culture is a term taken by fundamentalists and turned into a whole way of life because the goal of fundamentalism is to make people too scared to leave. Purity culture in fandom does the same thing. It uses fear and threats of abandonment/harassment to control the way people act because a group of people decided they didn't like something, so they must try and wipe it out rather than simply ignore it.
I am not mis-using the term because "Bobo the clown said my ship was cringe." My use of the term is intentional and precise because what is happening in fandom spaces now is non-religious purity culture cult thinking. My use of the term does not invalidate or water down the use of it in conversations about religious abuse and trauma. With or without religion, purity culture is a dangerous cult of "us vs them" that is built to demoralize and eradicate those deemed unworthy.
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dev-solovey · 6 months
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Reading up on the history of American Idiot (album) and realizing exactly how revolutionary it was and I just have to yell about it for a hot second
So, before they started working on American Idiot, the band was having problems and they were thinking they were going to break up. But for a couple of reasons, they switched directions, most notably because they all felt strongly about the Iraq War and how it was manufactured by greed and warmongering from the Bush administration, which was amplified by the news media. I read a quote from Billie Joe Armstrong where he talked about how the news media was becoming "more of a reality show" than it was news, and he couldn't have been more right. In fact, that problem got worse, and now we're living in an era of rampant misinformation where everything is politicized to a point where just supporting human rights for marginalized people is considered controversial. The song American Idiot came out in 2004, and when Donald Trump first visited the UK at the beginning of his presidency, it was the top played song on every UK radio station, 12 years after it was released. Most things would be culturally irrelevant at that point.
When creating the album American Idiot, a lot of thought went into it - they had a very specific message in mind, and their goal was to send that message to youth. This is because they realized at some point that their fanbase was a bunch of teenagers, and even though they hadn't necessarily intended it that way, they suddenly had a platform with the youth of America and they decided they ought to do something good with it. The drummer, Tré Cool, said something along the lines of "I've never really liked the idea of preaching to kids, but I realized we don't really have a choice at this point." And I love that so much because like, so many people who get rich and famous just become completely out of touch, and when they get a platform, it's very easy to exploit that platform, influence them with terrible ideas, or encourage them to act in terrible ways for self-serving reasons (ex: JK Rowling, Andrew Tate, Dream, Logan Paul, Onision, etc etc). Green Day refused to allow themselves to get to that point. They know the platform they had gave them power and they made an active choice early on to be responsible with it. And a lot of that moral code comes from the fact that they came up in the DIY punk scene in Oakland, which held its members to a very high standard of ethics, a code that they still follow even after they were disowned by that scene when they signed on with a major record label in 1994.
The song American Idiot has a message of "this mass media hysteria is manufactured bullshit, don't fall for it," and it is not subtle about that message. It punches you right in the face. I remember being 12 years old and listening to it and thinking, "yeah, I don't want to be an American idiot." And now, at the age of 28, I am a staunch leftist who is firmly against the atrocities the US government commits, and I feel strongly about stopping misinformation. So I can say with absolute certainty that they succeeded.
I also get like, really upset when people say that American Idiot is the album where they sold out, because that's objectively not true, both for the reasons I've provided above, and also because of the song Wake Me Up When September Ends. Not a lot of people know the story behind this song, but it's actually a song that Billie Joe wrote about the experience of his dad dying of cancer when he was 10 years old. The story, as he tells it, is that when he came home from school, his mom gave him the news, and being (understandably!) upset, started crying, ran to his room and slammed the door. When she knocked on the door to try and talk to him, he shouted "wake me up when September ends!!" in response. It took him decades to be able to write this song, and it shows because it's the perfect grief song, having been played at benefits for 9/11, hurricane Katrina, and so on. The first time I heard that song it reduced me to tears, because you can hear the intense sadness in it. A "sellout" would never write a song like that!! (Side note: maybe stop tweeting at Green Day to wake up every October 1st, it's super tone deaf given the subject matter,,,)
Anyway, I think I'm done being autistic about Green Day (that's a lie, they'll forever be my special interest), so TL;DR:
Thank you, Green Day, for creating a generation of leftists who aren't about the bullshit
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togglesbloggle · 2 months
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Just Between Us
If we're being honest, I'm really fascinated by secret societies.
This is in part an artifact of my Southern-ish upbringing, maybe? Like, the cultural tradition of (mostly male) secret societies isn't discussed much except as a joke or in the past tense, but they held on much longer in some places than one might naively think, the American South included. I was kinda-sorta invited to join the Masons once (there’s no such thing as an actual invitation; you have to ask.  But if somebody tells you this fact in confidence, they’re kinda asking you), and there are some groups associated with the Boy Scouts that they ran us through as a sort of 'trainer' secret organization. If you hang out in the right places, you'll eventually notice recruitment efforts for less benign versions- typically, right-wing militia groups work this way. And there's the Klan, of course, at the most evil end of the spectrum.
People tend to mark the heyday of the American social conspiracy as being in the first half of the 20th century, but as far as I know the pattern of highly gendered secret societies goes back basically all the way as far as we can track such things.  Much older than any of the societies themselves, anyway. The pattern is surprisingly robust across different cultures, and it’s also a clear precursor to ‘modern’ stuff like the Delta Force in the US military.  Even the famous white hoods adopted by the KKK (the second KKK that is, the resurgence from after Birth of a Nation was filmed) predate that organization by several centuries, and were a common motif in European secret orders going back at least to the late medieval period.
This is probably an under-examined part of why the Red Tribe’s got the weird narrative vulnerabilities that it does; why the odd beliefs so often take the form of conspiracies and ‘inner circles’ where the true evils are unmasked and the true righteous fight takes place.  A lot of them- particularly the older set, who came of age before the web- have direct experience with the world working this way!
I’ve been ruminating on this, lately.  Less because of the societies themselves, and more because of their second-order effects, the kind of unacknowledged changes that the presence and absence of really prominent secret organizations can make in the social fabric.  Think about it- if you know, if you really actually know with confidence, that there are networks of people (in practice, men) out there scouting for potential members, and that these groups have real and undeniable power over your world, then that immediately changes your landscape.  
For one, it passively encourages you to demonstrate the virtues of prominent societies in the hopes of being invited to join them, and you’ll be very self-policing in order to achieve this, because you never know who’s watching.  If those secret societies have a reputation for honesty, fortitude, and generosity, you’ll try to be honest, and enduring, and generous.  If they’re terrorists waging a campaign of racialized violence across America, you’ll be not just emboldened but incentivized to act in more racist ways at all times, for the promise of power and belonging as much as for any deeply felt racism you may feel.
And for another, it has a way of surrounding you with an intensely magical world.  You see your fellow-members in public, and wink, and know; you see others winking, and sharing an understanding, and wonder.  By their very nature, it’s ambiguous what, exactly, a secret society is capable of, how large it is, and so on.  The episode of The Simpsons making fun of the Masons plays on this to great effect, bouncing back and forth between (on the one hand) this huge ancient and wealthy organization controlling the fate of the world, and (on the other hand) the more grounded reality that a secret society in practice is an excuse to have fun hanging out with your friends and drinking a few beers.  But when the ‘secret society density’ hits a certain threshold, the banal realities of any given organization give way to the possibility that you just haven’t found the right secret society yet, the one where all the decisions are really made and all the power is really held.  You start asking a lot more who?-type questions, instead of how?-type questions.
Third, and I think this is probably a lot more important than people give it credit for, secret societies were one of the unacknowledged pillars of male homosocial intimacy, and their gradual disappearance from the landscape over the last seventy or so years has created a much more emotionally barren and hostile world for gender-conforming men.  It’s not unusual for someone to note that men seem really starved for intimacy; articles about men relying entirely on girlfriends and wives for their emotional support and comfort are a dime a dozen.  But consider that participating in a standing conspiracy of fellow-travelers is also an opportunity to practice emotional intimacy with other men, and that these are the perfect conditions in which to share feelings and offer mutual emotional support without contravening masculine norms.  And when participating in one or more such groups is the norm, they can become a load-bearing part of the culture of gender itself; traditional masculinity in the absence of secret societies may simply be less viable, but because nobody can talk about secret societies, it’s equally challenging to diagnose the problem.
I’ve been dancing lightly around one of the more important manifestations of the secret society in the modern era, which is of course being a sex pervert; it’s not the first conspiracy you think of, but it’s one of the forms that survived the internet boom, so it’s a good example.  The Friends of Dorothy were a secret society in every way that mattered, back in the day, and many of their modern successors still are.  As with the Masons, one pretty much has to invite oneself, but they’re usually quite welcoming to new members that show an interest.  Consider the ways that these groups reward and cultivate certain virtues, even outside their perimeter; consider how they re-enchant the world; consider how they open the door to close friendships and emotional intimacy with others.
It’s the social power that fascinates me as much as anything, I think.  As with everything this powerful, it’s often quite evil; actually it’s far from obvious that secret societies in toto have been a force for good in the world.  But is there some way to cultivate that social potency in a way that’s ordered to the good?  Some lurking alternative to the brute power of statecraft and economics and social norms?  So very enticing…
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olderthannetfic · 7 months
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/724781513472868352 I resonate with this on a deep level. I get told at college all the time that I don't look LGBT+ (they refuse to say queer, respectability politics is a helleva drug), I don't act it, no queer person is into my major or my hobbies, and it's weird that I'm queer but not into astrology or dressing more aesthetically ("are you a cottagecore or a dark academia gay?" I'm neither I'm a me) or playing Pokemon because outgrowing Pokemon is for cishets. People talk about gays/LGBT+ not being able to drive or do math or sit normally and then act like I'm some kind of ridiculous weirdo for not laughing at what they assure me is a true statement that does not apply to them or to me. People encourage me to experiment with my style or hair and "come out of your shell". I am informed I need to listen to certain musicians because all LGBT+ people are into them. It's weird that I'm not. It's even weirder I don't like The Owl House or hate Steven Universe or keep up with Heartstopper like the good queers do.
Basically it all boils down to, "Why can't you be more normal? Why can't you be like us?"
Because I'm not. My dad is a Pashtun Muslim and my mother is a Bukharan Jew. I have lived in the Deep South half my life and Wyoming the other half. My media interests are unrelated to queer rep and wholly based on liking the plots of things. I grew up on oldies and TV shows like Starsky and Hutch that my parents loved, pirated and played on repeat. I don't believe in astrology, I'm not a witch and I'm not an atheist with a Christocentric worldview who assumes all religions are Christianity Lite. I don't listen to the correct musicians mostly because I discover music entirely by accident and have a mishmash of genres and bands in rotation. Pokemon fell off and I'm not into it. I would sooner die than dye my Pashtun red hair that people made fun of me for as a kid. I like wearing button downs, clean shirts, nice jeans and my Magen David. None of this is incompatible with being queer. No one is going to kick me out of a gay club for not having played Pokemon Violet or listening to Tracy Chapman or trusting in science over crystals for healing.
And I really hate that after years of being avoided and pitied in high school by jackass backwards rednecks for being weird, I got to my dream university, the university in the most liberal city in Montana, and get the same fucking treatment.
Commenters like the one anon mentioned remind me of all the people who act like I'm doing it wrong. What is 'it', in that sentence? Living my life. Being queer. And when it crops in fandom - and I've gotten it sometimes for writing queer characters who are like me, Southern and into uncool shit and not sharp dressers and religious - it just makes me want to start screaming.
I am queer. I am not incorrectly queer. I am who I am and therefore, because I am queer, that is a correct way to do queerness.
Some gripes about Gen Z are overblown but this weirdly narrow view of what queerness is allowed to look like or be is 100% as awful as other generations say it is and it's fucking exhausting to live through. I don't have to sit differently in order to be doing queerness right or be unable to drive. I exist and I am queer and that is all I need to do and be.
I wish fandom was different from real life. I wish it was more open to the reality that queer people have a multitude of backgrounds and lived experiences. We're facing enough shit IRL, can't we just have one place where we're NICE to each other?
--
As a 40+ queer, I'm laughing myself sick at the current crop of "required" queer interests.
In my day, it was oldschool cis gay male culture for the men (think being obsessed with Bette Davis) and But I'm a Cheerleader and Dykes to Watch Out For for the women or something.
Not that you have to like any of those things either. It's just hilarious how clueless people are about what's a temporary trend that will probably be different in 5 years.
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genderkoolaid · 1 year
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abstract thoughts about how men are also viewed as sexual objects by the kyriarchy both in a like. [to a toddler] "is this your girlfriend?" and in a "men are just such sexual beings they cant help themselves". it removes agency both from women ("you are helpless to refuse men") /and/ men ("you are helpless to refuse yourself")
and thus both straight women & straight men are denied legitimate relationships w/ each other, even in a friendship; the first point removes agency from men to decide what sort of relationship they have and simply states that any relationship with the "opposite" gender must be romantic because they are both helpless
Very true! This gets brought up in The Will to Change, specifically thinking of this paragraph:
Little boys learn early in life that sexuality is the ultimate proving ground where their patriarchal masculinity will be tested. They learn early that sexual desire should not be freely expressed and that females will try to control male sexuality. For boys this issue of control begins with the mother’s response to his penis; usually she does not like it and she does not know what to do with it. Her discomfort with his penis communicates that there is something inherently wrong with it. She does not communicate to the boy child that his penis is wonderful, special, marvelous. This same fear of the boy’s penis is commonly expressed by fathers who simply do not concern themselves with educating boys about their bodies. Sadly, unenlightened approaches to child abuse lead many parents to fear celebration of their child’s body, especially the boy body, which may respond to playful physical closeness with an erection. In patriarchal culture everyone is encouraged to see the penis, even the penis of a small boy, as a potential weapon. This is the psychology of a rape culture. Boys learn that they should identify with the penis and the potential pleasure erections will bring, while simultaneously learning to fear the penis as though it were a weapon that could backfire, rendering them powerless, destroying them. Hence the underlying message boys receive about sexual acts is that they will be destroyed if they are not in control, exercising power.
Being taught that your sexual desires are inherently gross, creepy, violent, etc. makes it hard to have a normal, healthy relationship with your sexuality, or to have healthy sexual relationships. Women are sexual objects, in the sense that they are viewed as having no autonomy or personhood, only existing for sexual gratification. But men are obliged to be sexual actors, while our culture also treats sex in a fucked-up way that does not equip them with the understanding they need to have a healthy relationship with sex. Sex can't just be something they enjoy, it is forced to be this power dynamic thing where their desires are at once mandatory and restricted.
I know there a lot of men who have been pressured into sex they didn't actually want to have, because "men always want sex", so not having sex would make them a pansy, or would be taken as an insult, or a sign of cheating. Men get pressured to perform straight sexuality (esp. when it comes to gay and asexual men) because not being sexual is taken as a sign of failed masculinity. & when it comes to marginalized men, they are stereotyped as overly sexual and sexually dangerous- its assumed that they must be aggressive and dominating, oftentimes creepy and disgusting in their sexuality as well.
The thing about domination is that it can feel great to dominate, but you constantly have to fear what happens if you aren't always doing that. It keeps you in a constant state of chasing dominance, because if you stop, you'll be dominated and a failure. Being an object is fucking awful, but there's another, special kind of pain when your body and being is made into a weapon. On one hand, you have a weapon, and you can attack. On the other hand, you are always a potential threat, and violence is made into a permanent part of your being. Its hard to be normal about relationships when you are viewing yourself as a loaded gun waiting to go off.
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mingiswow · 3 months
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Chapter 01
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CW: hate speech; hate comments; mentions of sexual assault; mentions of homelessness; mentions of drugs; mentions of eating disorders and diet culture, commentary on the industry, YN is introduced as mixed-race, half being Korean, and the other part is never mentioned.
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YN's POV
“Soloist yn yln was recently seen at a restaurant in Hongdae with k-hiphop rising star Lee Ryuk” “The love is in the air: yn yln was spotted in Hongdae with Lee Ryuk” “More than just a song, yn yln and Lee Ryuk were seen together in Hongdae this weekend” 1. [+568, -0] Wow I can’t believe they are together. She's so much better alone. He’s just not worthy of her. 2. [+499, -5] yn and Ryuk are great singing together but I don’t want them to be dating.  3. [+486, -0] I just can’t accept that she did that to us! Ryuk is not good for her! 4. [+320, -67] You are all complaining about Ryuk but he’s the best thing yn could get. She’s just famous because she’s the niece of a Chaebol.  5. [+309, -0] Ryuk is not a good man. He smokes and drinks like an old man, yn deserves someone much better and that will treat her right. I bet it is fake. 6. [+225, -6] yn is a grown woman and she can do what she wants but that doesn’t mean I agree with her choices, she deserves so much more than a man-child like him. He mocked a lot of people before and was not held accountable. I don’t believe yn would date him. 7. [+175, -0] I won’t be a yn fan anymore if she confirms to be dating Lee Ryuk. I don’t want to be connected to these types of people.
My manager sighed by my side, her nails insistently tapping on her phone screen, probably dealing with my problems.
“Can you stop reading those stupid comments?” she spoke, her eyes still glued to her phone. The woman didn't even have to turn to you to know what you were doing. 
“I’m being massacred by a relationship that is already over” I turned my head to the window, watching as the quiet morning started to slowly awake. The buzzing started to slowly increase as people started to leave their houses for work. Seoul waking up.
Then there was silence, a quiet agreement between us both that I needed my space and peace before having to deal with the storm of fans outside the music show studio.
My mind was racing with thoughts. I felt guilty, ashamed, embarrassed. All my company’s staff worked hard for me to be where I was in my career; all for me to ruin it because of a shitty fuckboy, because I was dumb enough to fall for his words and charm. 
My management company was nicer than most of the ones in the business, allowing me to be - somewhat - free since I was their biggest name. My albums, shows and merch being their biggest source of income. 
I met Ryuk when we collaborated on one of his songs. He was the rapper, and I was the soothing voice on the chorus and bridge. He was a very talented man, one or two years younger than me, and having debuted a few months more than a year ago. He was nothing but nice, sweet and kind to me, saying romantic and flirty stuff all the time, treating me like a princess. So, me, being the hopeless romantic that I am, fell for him, blinded by all his red flags. 
Ryuk liked to play it cool to the public eye, saying stuff just for the clout, and acting like someone he did not seem to be. Not that I didn’t do that, it was part of our job after all, playing an act for the people who watched us. But his problem was that he was getting more and more problematic with his words. And the worst part was that his company was encouraging him.
Then he started to act like that with me after a few months of dating, showing his true self, ditching our dates - that it took us weeks of preparing since our schedules were always so full - to go out for smoking and drinking with his friends, coming back to my apartment completely drunk and high, asking for things I wasn’t comfortable to give him yet. Not that I was a virgin, it was that I wasn’t comfortable enough with him to do it.
The final drop was when one night he appeared in my apartment out of his mind trying to force me to sleep with him and when I refused he started yelling, spitting at me that I was a prude, then I was a whore, the throwing a bunch of gifts I had just received from my fans on the ground and walls, breaking and destroying them.
Last night we finally met at the same restaurant where he asked me to be his official girlfriend almost a year ago. I forgot to make a reservation so our table was a little visible from the windows, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to end all of this. So I did. I broke up with him and I was really glad I did in a public setting, otherwise, he would probably throw a tantrum. He just resumed his madness sending me a fudging paragraph of a text message, and proceeding to wait for my reaction. The text was far from nice, saying all the worst things and calling me all the worst names someone I thought once loved me could say. But I guess it’s better being written than screamed at my face in front of a bunch of unknown people.
I was so out of my mind, and, not gonna lie, relieved, that I failed to notice the crowd of fansites and paparazzi waiting for us outside the restaurant when we left. I just wanted to leave that place, to go back to my apartment and cry like a little kid in the arms of my manager. No. To cry like a grown woman who had her heart and trust broken.
“The director said we can have a meeting after the recording, is that okay?” I hummed confirming, still not looking at the woman by my side. “YN, sweetie, I know it’s a hard thing for you but soon a new scandal will appear and everyone will forget it” her soft hand caressed the top of my head and down my arms, squeezing my hand warmly.
“I know. I just feel so… disappointed in myself” I turned my attention finally back to her and met her motherly expression looking at me. “All the signs were there and I still chose to ignore it. I’m sorry”.
“Don’t be” Jiah shook her head, her smile never disappearing. “If the director says anything to you, I’m here to defend you, ‘kay? You’re my little girl and I’ll fight for you with my life” I chuckled and nodded, laying my head on her shoulder and letting a few teardrops fall.
Being a soloist was hard, especially after leaving my previous small company when the failed group I debuted in disbanded for an even smaller one. And even more, being a mixed-race idol. But I didn’t give up. I couldn’t give up. Not after so much work put on it. It was my biggest dream, even if that meant I’d have to go under extreme diets, plastic surgery, and training sessions that would last longer than my body could stand.
But I was lucky enough to be found and signed by my current company, they were far from my previous one. And the other ones around. They didn’t pressure me both physically and mentally, they wanted me to be true to myself and my art, wanted me to make good music, with soul, purpose. In the beginning, I didn’t debut per se, I was launched as a regular Korean singer,  outside the k-pop industry. The company, and myself included, didn’t mind if I stayed in the indie valley of Korean music, being known only inside the country, but after my first EP and music video as a solo artist was released, I regained a lot of my fans back, as well as new ones that truly enjoyed my music. I was praised by netizens and music websites articles for my raw and emotional music, which I always proudly said I was the one writing and even helping produce. 
After a few more releases, I was finally invited to participate in my first music show stage.  The rest was just a huge domino effect. Music shows, comebacks, officially being part of the K-Pop Industry™, participating in variety shows, and even having my own vlog series on my YouTube channel.
Me, my company, and all the staff were really happy with my success because they didn’t know if I was going to make it further than a few music shows appearances due to the way I was free to be the most of myself. Truth be told, the industry is merciless, those who don’t look the same, act the same, and even sound the same are ostracized, judged, bullied. I saw some of the prettiest people in the country being bullied online for such stupid things, things that did not make sense anywhere else but this industry. But I made it, I was the point outside the curve, the spark of hope for a change in the business, a role model for girls and boys who looked just like me.
The buzz of the city started to fade in the background as the loud screams of fans outside the studio started to increase closer and closer I got from it. I felt my hands clammy with anxiety, the rate of my heart increased absurdly fast and my breath become quick, short and shallow.
JIah was the first to leave the car, the square sunglasses framing her face perfectly as she walked with her perfect posture, making her look even more professional, and dare me say, scary. She was respected and loved among my fans, everyone knew how hard she worked for me and I always made sure to thank her every time I had the opportunity.
I took a few deep breaths before leaving the black car, shaking my head trying to make the bad thoughts go away and just focus on my fans and performance. As soon I left the car, I was flooded with even louder screams and flashing lights everywhere I looked. If there I was something I would never get used was the camera flashes going off all at the same time. They blinded me and made my head hurt, it even became a joke among my fans that from ten pictures taken of me, nine I would have my face scrunched or my eyes closed.
I bowed and waved to my fans, loads of them holding signs and gifts. I looked over at my manager who bowed her head and I went to talk to the people gathered in the cold air to get a chance to see me. Even after all these years, I still don’t get used to the fact that these people came to see me, to support me and my art. I smiled happily as I signed their albums, pictures, and notebooks, took some selfies with them, recorded special videos for their friends who couldn’t be there. 
I was really glad none of them brought the Ryuk issue up, only asking questions about my music, my comeback, if I had eaten or drunk coffee already, or even saying loving words about my work.
I made a few more poses for the ridiculous amount of cameras before bowing and sending flying kisses to the people and entered the studio, the warmth of the place’s heating system embracing me like a plush comforter was wrapped around my shoulders.
My lungs took the deepest breath I could, the anxiety slowly fading and taking place by another type of anxiety, this one more manageable and already known to my body.
“YN~ssi, please follow me” a girl a few years older than me, and a face of a few friends, called for me and my team. I followed her suit as I bowed and smiled at the other staff and a few other idols I met on the way, making sure everyone was treated equally. “Your performance is in a bit more than an hour, I’ll be calling you fifteen minutes before you go up on stage, make sure to be ready on time” I nodded and she left the room.
“She could at least pretend” Jiah spoke as the door closed in front of us, going straight to the table of goods. I always wondered if the other groups had the same table as me, and if they had, if they were allowed to eat. “Ugh! I love mubank so much, they have the best coffee” the woman grabbed two of the paper cups, giving one of them to me, which I gladly accepted.
After a few sips of coffee, my team finally started to work their magic on me as one of them recorded me for my vlog. 
My concept for this comeback was easily on the list of my favorite ones, it was very colorful, almost decora-like, inspired by the aesthetic of the early 2000’s. My hair was painted in a beautiful pastel shade of pink with half of my bangs and a single thick strand of hair in the front dyed blue. My hairstylist put it up in two high pigtails braided with extensions to make them look fuller and longer. I loved this look so much, It made me feel like a teenager again, being a little rebellious and experimental with my fashion and hair.
When I first debuted I was only sixteen, practically a child, with a mind even younger and immature due to years of training and lack of social interactions outside the company and the girls who would later debut with me. I wasn’t fully aware of the implications of our concept back then, I was just happy that I managed to debut. Being the maknae, I was constantly babied by the girls, the company, and our fans. But some of the fans - especially older men - were very… creepy, to say the least, with me. Both in person and online. I remember being scared of going to fan signs and fan meetings. And reading the things they’d say about me and my body online always made me sick, I hated it. But the company used me and my popularity among those men to the group’s advantage. As the comebacks passed, my clothes started to get smaller and smaller, to the point where my safety shorts were appearing. The choreographies became more explicit and sexual, and I felt like my parts, the ones where I was the the center, were even nastier. 
But, to my company's dismay, that didn’t stop your group from flopping. Two of the girls left due to unfair treatment and payment. They tried to replace them by putting three new members but only a few months after that one of the new girls got involved in a drug and cheating scandal and was kicked out of the group. The company started to treat us badly, not promoting us properly, and abusing us both mentally and physically, until the only two other original members besides me placed a lawsuit against our manager, an old disgusting man, who assaulted us. I didn’t have the money to pay a lawyer to sue them, but I got happy like I did when they won the case. The group was then disbanded and the company shut down.
After that, I felt lost, terrible, useless. I lost all my sense of self. That group was everything I had, everything I was. Without them, who was I? What I was going to do from then on?
For months, I used the little money left to stay at cheap hotels and look for places to work as I also looked for open auditions for other companies. I got severe allergies and rashes from bed bugs and other microscopic beings living in those old beds. I tried to reach what was left of my family but nobody answered, not that I expected them to, but it never hurts to try. 
After all my money was gone, I spent a few weeks going from house to house of my former members, who I still kept and keep contact with, but they also had their issues and I didn’t want to bother them any further. 
Then an angel appeared in my life. Jiah. She met me at my most vulnerable moment. I was sick, anemic, starving. I was living on the streets when she found me and recognized me. Jiah then took me to her house and gave me a warm shower, warmer food, and even warmer clothes. At the time she had a boring office job and was struggling with her at-the-time fiancé. She asked for a sign, something that showed her she needed to change, to leave everything behind and start all over. She considered me her sign. So, after that, she left her fiancé, and figured out she was lesbian, and all that pent-up anger inside her was her internalized homophobia crushing her. She left her job and started to work freelance for some of her previous clients. The real change came when I asked her to become my manager after I signed my new contract. 
Since then, she’s been by my side, being the manager I always needed and the mother I always wanted. 
“Fifteen” I heard the staff’s voice from before sound from the door, awakening me from my trip to memory lane. I was so lost, so disassociated from reality that I even realized I had my hair and makeup done, as well as dressed up.
“How long was I out for?” I asked Jiah, her eyes never leaving her tablet, already used to my moments of introspection. 
“Almost an entire hour” she answered and turned to look at me. “Try not to disassociate when doing other stuff, doll” she winked and nudged my side with a smirk, my cheeks heating at her comment. “Let’s go before I have to deal with that girl again”. 
We both left the dressing room and were met with another group in front of your door coming back from their performance. Their hairs were sweaty, falling to their faces and some of them had even taken part of their outfit off. I saw a camera behind them before bowing politely since they were my sunbaes, well, at least from my solo debut perspective. I excused myself before leaving for my performance but not without noticing a few murmurs and noises from the boys getting behind.
“I think you have famous fans” I jokingly slapped Jiah, giggling as I felt my cheeks heat a little.
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Taglist: @venusmoonxnight @hanstarrs @mrskill2 @cupidcures @yoontaethings
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thisisasideblog1 · 1 year
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i actually believe that doing extremely patriarchal things but with males instead is the only way to solve male violence. use all the cultural weapons available to kill their biological drives:
- abort most male foetuses: less criminals in the world
- teach men that they are naturally incompetent and too emotional to function and should only care about shallow stuff like their appearance: less men in positions of power and consequently less systematic rape, pedophilia etc
- have a matriarchal religion that doesn't actually worship goddesses, but instead a male deity that is held to impossible moral standards (like a male Virgin Mary) and shame men for not being like Him, until they start to compulsively police their own behavior and become very strict with themselves. if worshipping goddesses at all, make them be just regular women with very human flaws who can, idk, control thunders and be really scary. make them old grannies to avoid sexualization or make it forbidden to depict them. male deities on the other hand should be very young and beautiful but also virginal. you can also add oversexed male demons to your religion so male sexuality can finally be demonized and rightfully so
- remind them of how we used to live in a perfect world until a frivolous male did a stupid male thing and Scary Goddesses/Pretty God had to exile our entire species
- make them feel guilty for being born. tell them how you would rather have daughters because they're so much easier to raise. buying cute outfits is the only good thing about mothering a boy
- and if men complain about all of the above tell them that suffering is good and they'll be rewarded in heaven. actually men are really good at this suffering thing and they should be proud of how they never complain when treated like shit. it's one of the few things they're good at. women could never. <3 suffering in silence is so sexy guys!!!
- repeat this bullshit over and over until it becomes true
- teach them that being pleasant, inoffensive, and subservient to women should be their life goal. they should act in a way that's pleasant to women even when there's no woman around
- and if they don't like it, tell them that they're not in touch with their natural masculine instincts and should be very ashamed of it. because nature or whatever
- reprimand them harshly at the first signs of self confidence
- make them feel insecure about EVERYTHING from head to toes to their way of walking to their speaking voices. constantly compare them to other men
- but give them lots of praise and extra cookies if they act shitty to other men and defend women even if they're wrong. be careful not to overdo it though. make it clear that your love is conditional :)
- discourage them from exercising, learning self defense or doing anything that could make them stronger. that's a woman's thing and not acting your gender is the quintessential crime
- also keep them on a diet that would make them more peaceful and emotionally bland. in other words keep them malnourished, and encourage eating disorders
- men are the inferior gender btw. ever seen a horse? yes they're big. but they're so dumb! ever seen a horse do math? they're only good at breeding! actually they're also good at being trained by females! men should be proud of being like horses 🐎🐎🐎🐎 because 💕💕🌼🌼🥰🤗
and that, folks, is how you actually empower women! because doing that shit to us is how men empowered themselves in first place 😊
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lobotomyladylives · 2 months
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Your rape comparison is dumb because it gets exactly to the point that you're missing. I come from a place in Nigeria with a history of arranged between young women and older men. A long time ago this practice was not only common, but largely an expected process when it came to joining two people. Today most people in Nigeria acknowledge this to be immoral and some even consider it to be sexual trafficking. I would be inclined to agree. Yet only a few hundred years ago it was not questioned. Not because rape wasn't looked down upon back then, it simply wasn't considered rape. I have a traceable family history to men I would consider to be rapists by today's standards. Do I consider them heinous men? No. It was simply the expectation and the culture of the time. Marriage was considered a unification of families rather than individuals. The opinion of the girl being married off was seldom considered. I don't think every slaver was a heinous human being either. For a large amount of time in many cultures having slaves was simply how large amounts of work got done. Yes, it required the belief that humans could be relegated to property. But that wasn't an idea they culminated on their own. Just like most of the belief systems they held. The same is true for us. Everyday I go to work for someone else to provide for myself and my family. In modern society, if I don't work, I don't eat and I die. I believe in the future we will have considered it a barbaric slavery to hold a man's basic needs hostage behind working for someone else. Maybe it will be "UBI" or something else, but I do believe that in the future most people's basic needs can and will be met without the systems of work we have now. And I don't think we'll consider every person who ever owned a business and made people work for a living, a heinous person. If you judged every person from 1000 years ago on their actions and dispositions most of them would probably be "bad men". At that point calling someone bad in that context becomes largely meaningless and renders the exercise a complete waste of time. Even a peasant from the late middle ages would likely be a terrible misogynist with them engaging in catholic traditions that gave them complete control over their wives, which I think we would agree is bad regardless if they treated their wife well or not. What people like you are too stupid and self-centered to understand is that, 200 years from now, people who look back at certain practices you supported as barbaric. No matter how convinced you are of the morality of certain practices, now, in the present, a different society in a future era, might consider them destructive. Something like lobotomies were viewed as compassionate and medically supported in the 1950s.  What are society's views on lobotomies now? Does that make these people bad if future generations do something different?
first of all I have literally no idea what post you're talking about, second of all this is fucking unhinged lol!! I hate you cultural relativism freaks so much why are you so obsessed with defending rape and pedophilia?! just because it wasn't punished in the past doesn't mean the men committing those acts weren't still bad people. a person should know intuitively that holding down a screaming crying woman or child and painfully forcing yourself on them is wrong. would you argue that the Nazis weren't bad just because slaughtering jews in the place and time they lived in was a totally normalized & encouraged practice? you can try to excuse the most heinous acts with cultural relativism but that doesn't make them less heinous. this is such a fucking pointless discussion to have
also I'm literally a commie so I do in fact believe the robber barons holding basic necessities like food water shelter & healthcare behind a paywall are fucking evil
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theoraclesystem · 17 days
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I'm sick with COVID, but there's been some stuff brought to my attention about a tiktoker by the name of AspenFrost-EN who is in the DID/OSDD community. (They also have a tumblr, @aspenfrosten )
Since the post we made about pinksugarfairies went pretty well, I thought I'd talk about this too. I'm feeling a bit better right now and have some spoons for this.
Aspen is a 20 year old in the DID/OSDD community on tiktok and also has their own server on discord that they claimed wasn't a syscord server, but then it became a server with primarily systems, making it a syscord server. The thing about their server is that it's 13+ and Aspen themself has stated that their server is NOT a safe space for anyone.
If you have a server that is for systems, it needs to be a safe space or you should not have a server dedicated to systems. Systems are inherently traumatized individuals and there are plenty of minors in this server as well, a server that is dubbed as "not a safe space", where people bully others for speaking out, there's NSFW topics, there's "schizoposting" ("I'm in your walls, there's bugs in your skin!!" type shit), even encouraging self harm to minors and other severely traumatized individuals.
Aspen has allegedly had minors draw NSFW art of them and even knows their actions are wrong and harassment/bullying, but they have admitted that they do not care because "I'm literally immature lol!" or "I'm a treachery demon!!"
As I've stated in the callout about JudasFlower, it doesn't matter what you are in a system, you are still human when you front. And if this person wants to be a "content creator" for DID/OSDD, they cannot act like this.
Aspen has also mentioned that DID/OSDD is a "uniquely autistic trauma response" - which is not true - and then goes on to say that it's often comorbid with autism, and when asked where they got their sources for this, they only responded with "therapy lmao". This is not how DID/OSDD works. Anyone that goes through repetitive childhood trauma can develop DID/OSDD, regardless of whether or not you're autistic.
There are a few tiktokers making callout docs about this person and I'll link one of them to this. They've been called out for being a "centrist", being a TERF, being anti-boycott and calling it "liberal bullshit", saying that alter names being culturall appropriation if you're not part of that culture is "liberal bullshit", called the abuse from Wilbur Soot "drama" and was more empathetic for Wilbur fictives/introjects than the actual survivor of the abuse, etc etc.
Here's the doc for it, please be wary of this person. I did not write this doc, by the way, I am simply sharing it for awareness.
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hypergamiss · 5 months
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What do you think is the reason that these celebrity 10/10 girls are getting cheated on? Do you think that is just the culture at that level? The place they live (hollywood) just has more promiscious men? Maybe they have bad self-esteem? What are your thoughts on why this keeps happening to them?
I think it is a horrible combination of things. The culture is definitely one of them. Hollywood breeds men who grow up thinking that women are dispensable and the double standards are also ridiculous. Even if they have good intentions and plan to be faithful, they don’t face any consequences or humiliation when they cheat so it’s almost as if they’re encouraged to do it at that point. Bad self-esteem could also be a part of it, sometimes you can tell the cheating had nothing to do with the woman they’re with and they have internal issues that they never addressed. The reason for me pointing out that 10/10 celebrities get cheated on is because if loyalty depending on looks alone, they would be bulletproof but that’s just not true. You have to choose a husband wisely and be able to offer more than your looks alone as a woman. When you compare Hollywood to the east coast or the south in the U.S. (for example), you have individuals who earn much more than the male celebrities and they do not cheat despite them having access to beautiful women. Mostly because their communities are in favor of loyalty and would refuse to do business with them or associate with them if they were to cheat on their wives. Marriages need this type of structure around them to thrive because it gives them more reasons to be faithful than to cheat, like can you imagine a man cheating and losing his family and he loses all his network to make money and his friends shun him out completely. Then he has to watch another much respectable man raise his children for him. In Hollywood people act upset at first but then practically praise them for being players and some how create a narrative to sympathize with them like “they were lonely” or “going through a hard time.” News flash, we all get lonely and face hard times but that isn’t an excuse to be a shitty human, especially if children are involved. Look at what happened with Jay-Z he was solid for a minute with Beyoncé but he screwed it up and even though they are well off financially, they want to earn more money the easy way but the wealthy men don’t trust him anymore so he’s doing suspicious businesses that may not be ethical (he might be trafficking surrogates in India). And why is Beyonce trying to act relatable on TikTok???
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omgitsburning · 23 days
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Please tell me why you are such a hateful human being? Why do you spend so much of your time being transphobic online?
Literally your top 3 posts are all transphobic bullshit of saying transwomen are men by reducing women to their vaginas etc.
Do you not realize that this sentiment hurts cis women as well?
Don't you realize the progress that had been made of making women more than their reproductive organs? Why are you going this backwards just to bully another (smaller) marginalized group that wants the same goals as you?
Are you that desperate to be able to be an oppressor?
I cannot wrap my head around that.
Hi there, I appreciate you reaching out and sharing your perspective. In turn I’d like to share where I’m coming from, and hopefully we can find some common ground.
My gender-critical beliefs stem from the root of why women are oppressed. We know that sex and gender are two separate ideas, so the question becomes “is it sex or gender that oppresses women?” It’s an interesting question, and I’d love your thoughts on it. My thoughts are that biological sex is the root of women’s oppression. Here’s a quick summary of why:
In pre-history, it is theorized that women and men were much more equal. But when humans discovered why and how children are made, men wanted more control over reproduction. They used force to oppress us in order to control that. So womens’ oppression began from controlling our fertility, which of course is rooted in sex and not gender.
In the modern world, gender expectations differ across cultures. But universally, it is still biological women who are affected by this oppression. If gender were the cause of oppression, because of the variability of gender roles we would statistically see some cultures where biological men are oppressed. That is not the case.
Across the world, the most glaring and harmful examples of women’s oppression are sex-based, not gender-based. For example, biological women living in Iran can’t stop wearing Hijab because they identify as men. Their sex subjects them to compulsory Hijab, not their gender. Similarly, biological women in Sudan have a 67% chance (if not higher) of being victims of FGM. This is another example of sex-based oppression. A third example is how access to reproductive healthcare is threatened for biological women (I’m thinking specifically of the overturn of Roe vs Wade in the US, where I’m from). If gender were the root of oppression instead of sex, biological women would be able to identify differently and gain more rights. But that’s not the case because of their biology.
For these reasons and more, I’ve concluded that women’s oppression is based on sex.
This is of course a quick summary of my thoughts and might not fully explain everything. For example, it’s also true that women and men who do not conform to gender stereotypes are oppressed. This can be seen as transphobia, since these individuals are not dressing/behaving like their “gender assigned at birth.” Or it can be seen as a side effect of sex-based oppression, because the patriarchy uses gender as a tool of enforcing the aforementioned sex-based oppression, and women who “act like men” and men who “act like women” are threatening. I am coming from the perspective of the latter.
Now that I’ve given that context, it’s easier to address some of the other points in your ask:
I do not view myself as being transphobic. In contrast, I encourage gender nonconformity and bodily autonomy. What I do advocate for, however, is to remember that biological sex is the root of women’s oppression. So I do not like how the trans perspective prioritizes gender and is changing our language habits to make it harder to talk about sex-based issues.
In a similar vein, I also advocate for telling the truth and combating the spread of misinformation. Trans women are biological men, which means they benefit from the patriarchy even if they are also punished in other ways for being gender nonconforming. Pretending that they don’t is harmful to feminism and women’s liberation.
You didn’t explicitly accuse me of this but it’s related so I still want to address it: I do not exclude trans people in my feminism. I exclude biological males. There are biological females who identify as trans, so I include them because they experience the sex-based oppression that feminism addresses. And while biological males who identify as trans also have issues that need to be addressed, I don’t oppress them by excluding them from feminism. That would be like saying “white people are oppressed because they’re excluded from the Black Lives Matter movement,” which I’m sure you would agree is a ridiculous and horrifically misguided opinion to have. Similarly, biological men are excluded from feminism because they are my oppressors in the patriarchy, not the other way around.
This is where I’m coming from, of course, and I know you’re approaching the conversation from a different perspective. So feel free to ask questions and share your thoughts in response! One thing I’m still not sure about though are my top posts? What posts are you referring to and why have you labeled them as being anti-trans?
Thanks for your time!
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cc-for-cy · 6 months
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The Ricky Montgomery Legacy Challenge
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Inspired by @dizzywhims' Sour Legacy, I decided I wanted to make a legacy based on my favorite album, Montgomery Ricky by Ricky Montgomery!
The rules on this challenge are pretty lax, as I built it more for myself, however, the more I sat on it the more I wanted to actually put it out for everyone! So, here's all the rules! Make sure to tag either @cc-for-cy or @heretoreadmyfics and use the tag #montgomeryrickylegacy if you do this challenge, I would love to see it!
Rules written out are under the cut and make sure to STREAM RICK (OUT NOW)
| 0 - Rules
This challenge is NOT base game friendly, and uses almost all the packs. Feel free to alter this challenge if you do not have a pack used. 
Mods are encouraged! Try not to use many cheaty mods however. Basemental Mods is encouraged for two generations but you may not use them if you feel uncomfortable with it. 
Unless specified, drama, how many kids you have, etc are totally up to you!
This challenge is very storyline based! Feel free to go insane with the storyline, and use my descriptions as a baseline. Requirements are, of course, required to happen. You may also edit or add challenge rules depending on how hard you want the challenge to be, as this challenge is written for beginner storytelling.
Heirs can be any gender, HOWEVER the challenge is written for a patriarchy, and patriarchy is preferred.
If you play this challenge, please tag me, @heretoreadmyfics or @cc-for-cy and tag it #montgomeryrickylegacy
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| 1 - California
“I am just a boy, but with a little bit of a culture, I'll go far
I want the world to know that I'm not just a photograph!”
Having just moved back to Del Sol Valley, you’re ready to get started on your big break! You swear you’re not going to fall into the pitfalls of stardom, saying “I love all my fans” when you don’t, becoming someone you never saw yourself as, but… Will that sentiment ring true when you finally get all you want?
Aspiration: World Famous Celebrity
Traits: Self-Absorbed, Creative, Ambitious
Career: Actor or Entertainer (Musician Branch)
Requirements:
Max the Acting and/or an Instrument (guitar, piano, violin, etc) skill
Date a celebrity and have at least 1 child with them
Become a 5 Star celebrity
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| 2 - Get Used To It
“You want a garden, but you got a balcony
And you’re always looking for some company”
Growing up being a top celebrities kid, your life was luxurious, filled with parties, and general monkeying around- even some trying to make it on your own, but it wasn’t that important to you… Until it was. You used to be crazy with creativity but now.. you don’t feel as important as you once did. And you’re gonna have to Get Used to It. 
Aspiration: Live Fast (Teen), Party Animal
Traits: Non-Committal, High-Maintenance, Childish
Career: The OPPOSITE of whatever you majored in (EX. Drama Degree -> Go into Business)
Requirements:
Max out the Gardening skill
Go to University
Have an eventful teenage/YA life that settles down halfway through, to your dismay
Have at least 2 different partners before meeting the one you marry
DON’T complete your aspiration
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| 3 - Cabo
“Ashes, ashes, dust to dust
I think I found a place for us”
Once your parents finally settle down, they never really let you have creativity. They never let you have anything, really, saying that the real world would end all your hopes and dreams, and for a while you believed that, until you met them and suddenly your life felt colorful and loved. But.. You had to keep it secret. Because your parents would just tear that down like all your other dreams. 
Aspiration: Soulmate
Traits: Romantic, Gloomy, Clumsy
Career: Painter (Either branch)
Requirements:
Max the Painting skill
Take a vacation and meet your partner there. 
Partner must have blonde/white hair. 
Keep your relationship secret from your family your entire life
Eventually live in the place you met your partner in (if available)
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| 4 - My Heart Is Buried In Venice
“My heart is buried in Venice
Waiting for someone to take it home”
After seeing what love your parents showed, you thought romance would be easy. You had no idea what they went through, and when you finally found a partner you knew you were going to be everything to them. But maybe the issues your family had plagued you, because suddenly you were worried that nobody would ever love you the way you did to others. And the life you had with your partner crumbled, and over a small argument, they left, seeing your flaws. And now you’re alone, waiting for someone to take your heart home.
Aspiration: Serial Romantic
Traits: Paranoid, Romantic, Overachiever
Career: Civil Planner (Either branch)
Requirements:
Max a vacation based skill (ex. skiing, snowboarding, rock climbing, selvadordian culture, herbalism, etc)
Have a relationship break off after an argument (can be autonomous or not)
Have at least 1 kid with the partner that breaks up with you, and that has child has to be heir (may have more afterwards)
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| 5 - Dont Know How
“I wanna do it but I don’t know
I don’t know how”
Seeing your parents relationship crumble over something so small never really gave you the confidence to ever even approach someone- so for most of your life you were alone and unloved, and kinda a nerd.. Until you see her and goddammit she is so out of your league! But even looking at her makes your knees buckle and your heart beat so hard- so you’re gonna try dammit, for the first time ever, to win someone out of your league! But.. Do you know how?
Aspiration: Nerd Brain, Villainous Valentine
Traits: Socially-Awkward, Self-Assured, Nerd
Career: Scientist
Requirements:
Have the Nerd Brain aspiration, but change it after competing the first two parts, and switch to Villainous Valentine
Meet someone who changes your life by being really hot and proceed with a romantic endeavor that gets your confidence up! Then cheat on them.
Every woohoo has to be a try for baby. You’re confident like that. 
Max out the rocket science and/or programming skill(s)
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| 6 - Line Without A Hook
“She’s a, she’s a lady
and I am just a line without a–”
Insecure and bad. That’s what most of your relationships have felt like. It didn’t help that your parent had a sexual promiscuity problem, which probably didn’t really help your endeavors. But once you get someone, you are determined to never let them go- no matter what!… But. Your relationship becomes codependent. It becomes a problem- you can’t stop being around them. And your problems are cropping up again— so what do you do? You’re a line without a hook. You leave. 
Aspiration: Angeling Ace
Traits: Erratic, Perfectionist, Jealous
Career: Conservationist
Requirements:
Be best friends with your spouse, but eventually leave and abandon your family 
(abandoning family is considered the end of this generation)
Max out the fishing skill
Finish the frog collection
Never live alone
---
| 7 - Last Night
“Last night
I was fine!”
You weren’t super young when your parent abandoned you, but definitely old enough to destroy your teenage/YA life. It seemed like they always had something else better to do than love you, like for example loving your other parent way more. Were you really wanted? You spend your days forever at the bar, drinking and trying to forget. Eventually you’re dragged away, every time. By someone who allegedly loves you. 
Aspiration: Master Mixologist
Traits: Loner, Snob, Dance Machine
Career: Culinary (Mixology Branch)
Requirements:
Go to nightclubs/bars at least once a week
Be close/best friends with the parent who didn’t leave you. 
Have a partner, but cheat on them with a one night stand, that results in the heir. 
Master the mixology skill
---
| 8 - Mr Loverman
“I’m Mr. Loverman, 
and I miss my lover..”
Your life was always a little bit of a mess, but you keep going. Eventually you meet the love of your life, and you love and live with them as hard as you can. For so many years… But eventually… you lose them. And you mourn that love for the rest of your life, falling deep into problems that are generational. 
Aspiration: Soulmate
Traits: Cheerful -> Gloomy, Music Lover, Slob
Career: Freelancer (Writing Branch)
Requirements:
Lose your spouse, never remarry
Have a nuclear family (at least 3 kids + a pet)
Fall into old habits, start sabotaging relationships + going to bars.
Max the Cross-Stitch skill
---
| 9 - Snow
“Bury me six feet in snow”
Once one of your parents dies, your other parent becomes very vindictive towards the rest of your family. You took the heat of it, and quickly your life fell apart. You get into a toxic relationship, and lose who you were slightly in the process. When everything seems calm, you jump ship. You aspire for your kid to have a better life, and bury your skeletons to make sure they will. 
Aspiration: Extreme Sports Enthusiast and/or Super Parent
Traits: Adventurous, Self-Absorbed, Family-Oriented
Career: Law (Either Branch)
Requirements:
Have a toxic relationship with your partner, break it off when it starts to get better
Have one kid, and max out all their skills as a toddler/infant
Max the Archeology skill
---
| 10 - This December
“This December
I’ll remember”
Your parent always wanted better for you. But you can’t help but think about the generations before you, how all their problems ruined their life, and how it seemed like every generation passed it down to their children. But you decide no more, this isn’t going to happen to you. Instead of fall into the pitfalls of your parents, you break the generational trauma, and decide to live a life free of the problems you know your family has been through. Don’t forget to look back, and see how far you’ve come. This December, you’ll remember everything. 
Aspiration: Successful Lineage
Traits: Family-Oriented, Loyal, Insider
Career: Education (Either Branch)
Requirements:
Fall in love healthily, get married, and adopt.
Celebrate the winter holidays the hardest. Go all out!
Master the Wellness skill
Reminisce on family often.
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sophieinwonderland · 1 year
Note
Where the actual fuck is your source for claiming anti-endos are pro-genocide? That's a HUGE fucking claim to make a biiiiiig stretch. Like you are actively dismissing people who are Tibetan who have said there's an issue with the usage of the term already- and now you're claiming a HUGE demographic is pro-genocide?
Who? I'm genuinely curious. I don't see many anti-tulpas who actually identify as Tibetan Buddhists. A lot are really vague about the type of Buddhism they practice or don't even seem to know where the tulpa even comes from.
Before going any further, it's important to understand the relationship between China and Tibet. I covered this in another post:
The above post was in response to an anti-endo who repeatedly echoed CCP talking points that "Tibet is a part of China," which while true from a certain point of view, is a little disturbing in a conversation about the cultural identity of the Tibetan people. This culminated in them describing the Dalai Lama as an "80-year-old Chinese Man," which is incredibly invalidating to the Tibetan people who have been struggling to maintain their freedom for reasons so obvious that I shouldn't have to spell out.
And the anti-endo community... doesn't care.
I wouldn't say they're pro-genocide. They're just... genocide-neutral when it comes to Tibet. By erasing the unique cultural identity of the Tibetan people, they can pretend that all Asians are a monoculture and anyone of any Asian descent have just as much right to declare Tibetan Buddhism as a closed practice and anything borrowed from it appropriation.
Even if that ancestry may be from the same people who invaded and are oppressing Tibet, it doesn't matter to them, because anti-endos don't care about Tibetan culture, history or autonomy any further than using them as talking point to silence one of the largest communities of created systems
They're okay with repeating CCP propaganda that erases Tibetan identity as long as that propaganda suits their own interests.
Anti-endos, at every opportunity, erase the history of Tibet and Tibetan religious leaders.
They claim that Tibetan Buddhism is a closed religion, something that practically every Tibetan Buddhist will tell you is wrong in a heartbeat, and erases the countless monasteries across the globe that are welcome to everyone.
When that doesn't work, they will claim that Tibetan Buddhist practices cannot be used by people who aren't Tibetan Buddhists, contradicting the Dalai Lama himself encouraging other religions to use Tibetan Buddhist meditations.
They will try to paint the story of how the tulpa arrived in the West as one of white people stealing Tibetan culture, erasing the involvement of translator Lama Kazi Dawa Samdup in bringing Tibetan culture to the West, tulpa included, helping to spread knowledge of their religion around the world in a way that would appeal to Western audiences.
And as we see above, many anti-endos will go so far as to actively support CCP propaganda that brands Tibet as nothing more than just another part of China or the Dalai Lama a "Chinese man," literally supporting the CCP in its aim of erasing Tibet's identity.
Make no mistake, the anti-endos who pretend to be so angry over people identifying as tulpas don't actually care about Tibetan culture. They don't care about the secular CCP trying to take control of the religion. They don't care about teachers being imprisoned for teaching the Tibetan language.
When the current Dalai Lama passes, the CCP will try to choose their own illegitimate reincarnation as they did the Panchen Lama. Anti-endos and you won't hear a peep out of anti-tulpas who will continue to act as if the greatest atrocity to befall Tibetan culture is created systems borrowing a word with a Tibetan etymology.
The whole thing is just performative.
Anti-endos try to speak for Tibetan Buddhists, rewrite Tibetan history, and erase the autonomy of Tibetan Buddhist spiritual leaders to determine who can and cannot use their spiritual practices. Then they turn a blind eye when their own echo CCP rhetoric that has been used to justify the cultural genocide of Tibet.
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sweet-sunshine99 · 2 years
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Astro notes 🌻✨🌙
Disclaimer: Nothing said below is fact, these are simply observations I've made over time. You're not guaranteed to resonate with every observation in this post.
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🌛 Aquarius men want whatever they can't have.
Yes this applies to capricorn placements as well you're all so unlucky :(
🌛 Capricorn and aquarius culture is either having to grow up way too fast, never growing up, or both.
These placements are often forced to start acting like adults from a young age so when they finally mature they're prone to acting childish and immature because they're trying to re-live their childhood, they're trying to live out what they could never have.
🌛 Leo placements bring light to situations just like the sun. Wherever you have leo in your chart can tell you in what situation you bring knowledge, love, passion, motivation, or light.
For example:
Leo 1H: you carry this passionate energy with you. You easily lift the mood of those around you just by being.
Leo 2H: you can help others to see their true values with motivating words, sometimes you can even help your enemies by being that person that completely crosses them. Someone may not realize they have an issue with something until you do that thing to them. In the same way, someone may not be aware of their passion for something until you instill it in them.
Leo 3H: you can help others to socialize more, to get out of the house. You may motivate your siblings, cousins, and teachers. You can make them feel rejuvenated and you help to instill faith in others. You bring inspiration, clarity, and passion to people you meet during short distance travels or at school. It may be that you find knowledge and light at these places.
Leo 4H: you make others feel seen. People probably vent and overshare to you, this is because you have a calm and stable energy. You may encourage your mother or your family, maybe you have a motivational childhood story. You might be able to help others realize they're in a toxic household or struggling with their mental health. You might make a good therapist/psychiatrist.
🌛 When a capricorn moon is upset they're always very dramatic and expressive but they refuse to ask for help. The type to stomp around and sigh just to say "i'm fine." They want validation so bad they want you to tell them that their situation is the absolute worst and that no one has it as bad as them. Toxic cap moons also use their anger to justify abusive behavior the most. They're not just going to own up to making a mistake, it has to benefit them in some way for that to even be a consideration.
🌛 Cap moons and never expressing their true feelings because they think it makes them look weak, vulnerable, or easy to manipulate... but what they don't know yet is that they're pushing away those they love because they no longer feel appreciated 🌚
🌛 Adding onto that a really developed capricorn moon can be so honest about their faults and why they are the way they are. When they're committed, they're committed.
🌛 Leo placements are not dramatic, they are passionate. Sometimes their passion can be so intense that others think they're seeking attention, lying, or self-centered but in reality they're just proud of themselves and how far they've come. Leo is a fixed sign, they're the type to spend a lot of time persisting until they get what they truly want. They're not just going to give up because they failed once and they're sure as hell going to be proud of themselves and how hard they had to work after they've finally gotten what they deserve.
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🌛 People with more cancer and lunar influence in a chart seem more likely to be cat people while people with more leo and solar influence are more likely to be dog people strangely enough.
🌛 Fixed signs tend to overestimate their romantic and sexual abilities. They like to think that they're flirty, good in bed but usually they're just average. I've noticed the more they try to rub it in your face, the worse they are.
🌛 This kind of contradicts my last observation but a scorpio man will stare into your soulllll. It's not that they're inherently better at flirting but it's their magnetism. They can be absolutely horrible and flirting, bonding, building a relationship but you'll still find yourself making excuses for them.
I wouldn't be surprised if this applies to scorpio women and nonbinary people as well but idkkk
🌛 Venus personal placements (taurus & libra) as well as 1H venus can be so judgmental for no reason. When a venus placement has a superiority complex they become the most insufferable people NO you're not better than them you're just insecure.
🌛 One stereotype I think is kind of true is that scorpios look emo.
Sometimes it's not even intentional they just look dark. I've noticed that their natural appearance can look like a dark makeup look, they can look like they're wearing eyeliner or eyeshadow on their bare face and sometimes they even have dramatic eyebags or a natural contour.
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🌛 One of my astrology pet peeves is when people attribute their placements to the cause of their behavior.
For example "I'm blunt because I'm an aries" "I am intimidating because I have a scorpio rising" no, you're just blunt and the aries in your chart shows that. You're not intimidating BECAUSE you're a scorpio, your scorpio rising is what shows us that you're an intimidating person.
🌛 Name asteroids in your 6th house can definitely indicate the names of pets you might have throughout life.
🌛 Aquarius placements probably like computer science.
🌛 F*ck scorpio, marry cancer, kill sagittarius.
🌛 Libras suck at keeping long term friendships and when they finally succeed the connection doesn't tend to be very genuine.
🌛 People love to associate indulgence and especially indulgence of substances with pisces which can definitely be a good indicator, but let's not forget about taurus. Where do you think the stereotype of taurus being a foodie came from? Venus rules taurus, they're known for being indulgent and that doesn't stop at food. It can be anything that pleasures them.
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🌛 If venus in a chart can show indulgence, this means libra can also be super indulgent. One thing i've noticed is that taurus tends to be selfish with what they indulge in, they want enough for themselves and they aren't afraid of being seen as stingy if it means they're satisfied. Libra tends to desire pleasure for everyone. Not only do they want enough for themselves, they want enough for everybody else. They know how good the material aspects of life can feel so they wonder why anyone WOULDN'T want to indulge in these things.
🌛 In regard to life path you envy the sun sign ahead of yours.
If you're an aries sun you envy what taurus suns have
If you're a taurus sun you envy what gemini suns have
Gemini envies what cancer has
Cancer envies what leo has
I think you get the point...
🌛 Libra placements and staying in relationships that do not serve them for way too long. Like fine do your thing be with who you want but there's no need to replace life-long friends with someone that doesn't care in the slightest.
Maybe tw?? cw?? I don't sugarcoat so if you're sensitive to dark topics you probably shouldn't read this observation.
🌛 7H ruler in the 8H might crush/fall in love with the wrong people often. Definitely has the wrong type. This placement is the type to date within their family, this placement is the type to marry someone that is plotting to murder them, this placement is the type to develop stockholm syndrome. Maybe this placement secretly likes when people are toxic and sometimes toxic behaviors can make this person feel loved, for example this placement might feel loved when someone expresses jealousy or possessiveness.
🌛 "I don't relate to my birth chart so that means astrology is a scam" you're not supposed to relate to every aspect of your birth chart all the time, your birth chart is a chart of your entire life. During some years some placements in your chart are more active than others. some placements have better indications for life events than they do personality traits. If you really want to check for your personality, in my opinion you should check your solar return rising as well as the sign and house placement of your solar return chart ruler. This gives you a more accurate idea of who you are RIGHT NOW rather than who you'll be your entire lifetime.
🌛 Aquarius placements are very logical. Because of this they may actually act pretty illogically if undeveloped. This is because if they think hard enough on something, they can find a reason for anything. They can understand any logical part of an argument because they make sure to consider all sides, the issue is when they put too much focus on the highly unlikely.
🌛 Personally I've observed that the 4th house tells us much more about our inner, deepest selves and sensitivity more than it does our general home life. I think the 4th house has such a big impact on our inner selves because our home environment growing up can often shape a huge majority of our perceptions in life.
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🔥🔥
Fandom and fanfiction get a lot of credit for "subversive" approaches to gender and sexuality when I'm not sure a lot of it is that subversive -- or at least, it could be more subversive. A lot of Omegaverse, for instance, is just traditional gender roles but with a gay couple instead, where alphas are treated like men are in patriarchal societies and omegas like women. What's really all that new or subversive about that? It's no wonder a lot of people just use it to put their same-gender OTP in Regency England or whatever. What about stuff that rethinks those gendered roles entirely? Or a society where sex, gender and/or sexuality just are not ways that people (or whatever group we're talking about here) have categorized themselves at all -- which doesn't mean other stuff, other hierarchies, don't exist!
This is also a problem with a lot of original sci-fi and fantasy. And this is a thing I'm trying to explore in the original novel I've told you about: where a group of, especially, LGBTQ people and POC and women living in 1960s America and Britain get access to an alien world where none of that shit matters and envision it as a progressive utopia, get so invested in that that they're blind to the ways that it actually is very oppressive in completely different ways, along axes that don't exist in human cultures. And like, it's hard! It's really fucking hard to write that! It's like how fish can't imagine a world without water; we are the fish and patriarchy, colonialism, etc. are the water that surround us. It's really hard to see beyond that water, but a lot of the subversive power of fiction and particularly speculative fiction is the potential to do that. So I get why people don't do that, but I do wish they'd stop patting themselves on the back like they did it anyway (and I wish we'd give more credit to the writers who are trying or have tried their best to genuinely break new ground there, like Octavia Butler as @larkandkatydid has pointed out before)
Star Trek fandom has been really eye-opening about that. Because with some exceptions (like the Ferengi), there's nothing in "alpha canon" (as in, the official shows and movies, not apocrypha like books -- sidenote, the fact that Star Trek and Star Wars have "official texts" and "apocrypha" like the fucking Bible is a fascinating topic for another day) that requires you to assume that most of those alien cultures follow traditional human (and particularly Western) patriarchal gender roles. From what we see of Cardassia, for instance, there's no reason to assume they would have any compunctions about abortion or birth control and a lot of reasons to think that they wouldn't: the planet has long-standing problems with resource scarcity, women are in charge of the medical field and scientific research, and actual filicide is permitted and even encouraged as a way to cover up shameful sexual affairs. And yet people just see "authoritarian culture with big emphasis on family" and assume it has to be like Nazi Germany or modern American Christian nationalists... but why does it? Why does "focusing on the family" need to mean the same thing in an alien culture that it does in patriarchal Earth cultures? I think it's important to ask these questions, because otherwise we risk suggesting that stuff like misogyny and homophobia -- or even specific manifestations of them -- are "natural" and destined to rise up in any culture, but that's not true and it's very important for feminists and other progressive moments to insist that that is not true (and that we can and shall overcome this shit in our own societies).
I fully see the appeal of working out your issues with growing up female/gay/trans/etc. in our shitty patriarchal society by having your alien blorbo deal with that in fanfiction. I just wish people would not pretend it's something other than it is, and I wish we wouldn't act like this is the limit of what it means to "be subversive about" or "deal with" gender and sexuality in speculative fiction when there are a lot of other approaches we could take that are, ultimately, a lot more liberatory. Also, people do the same fucking thing with other hierarchies -- class in particular, but that's a whole 'nother rant lol
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dysphoria-things · 8 months
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well first i am a trans woman and know plenty of other trans femmes who WERE clocked before they came out by other trans woman and guess what! it helped them come out of the closet and grow into happier versions of themselves sooner!
because someone saying hey you might be trans to someone's face is not invasive or rude or rushing their personal discovery journey. and i don't see how you could think that unless you're buying into some social contagion oh no what if someone transitions because of peer pressure bullshit.
anyway do you think gaydar is homophobic? recognizing similarities in our experiences - even with people who may or may not have realized they are part of the community is very common and encouraged by every other letter in the damn LGBT alphabet. flannel shirt lesbians anyone?
and btw saying pre-coming out trans girls "acted like every other cis boy her age" is often! not fucking true! and many trans woman talk about this all the time! sounds weirdly like male socialization dialogue
you don't get to decide something that is PRIMARILY DONE BY TRANS WOMEN TO OTHER TRANS WOMEN is transmisogyny. really frustrating with how trans men and masculine folks have hijacked this conversation
hey! i don’t like the concept of gaydar either! because i was outed this way!
basically. when i was in sixth grade. i was goin on my gender and sexuality journey. and i did it entirely in private. it was very hard. and one of my friends said, while we were hanging out with our friend group, “are you a lesbian or a trans man? you’re something but i can’t tell what.” and i was caught in a tight spot between coming out or lying. i’m autistic. i can’t lie well and it makes me uncomfortable. so i was forced to come out to a group of cis girls when i wasn’t even fully aware of what i was yet. this has happened to other friends- we were approached by a presumably gay couple who asked my friend if she was a lesbian, cuz she looks like one, and she panicked. what are you supposed to say to that? she’s out to our friends but at the time lived in a homophobic household. naturally she had to lie because that’s… weird. so yes i think publicly speculating on someone’s sexuality or gender identity is weird. there’s a difference between “hey, i think you’re gay/trans, i’m seeking you out because this environment seems hostile but i think you might be like me and therefor safe” and “i spotted a gay in the wild. i’m gonna force them to come out to me for my own purposes without any considerations on how this other person might feel about it”. that’s what i see with egg culture.
also like. first of all. if you think you can spot a closeted trans woman because it’s obvious to you and it’s fine to say something to this person because it’s not invasive at all, you’re helping, that’s. terrifying. my friend was from florida. so my friend group created an environment where she could understand herself and come out to us in her own time, when SHE wanted to. none of us made that decision for her.
also. i don’t think you’re “pressuring someone into being trans” by calling them an egg. i think you’re creating a culture where it’s normal to feel scrutinized, like everything you do or every action you take ‘marks’ you as a trans person. if someone doesn’t tell me who they are, i’m not going to make any assumptions. because that just enforces new binaries of “ok if you act this way there’s no way you’re cis” so closeted people who don’t want their behavior to out them will try to suppress those behaviors. i think this forces trans women who aren’t ready to be out yet deeper into the closet and creates expectations for how they’re supposed to act if they do want to come out.
i’m not denying it can be useful for certain people. if you know this person well and you think what they want is for you to approach them and bring it up, then yeah. that’s what you should do.
and btw saying pre-coming out trans girls "acted like every other cis boy her age" is often! not fucking true! and many trans woman talk about this all the time! sounds weirdly like male socialization dialogue
so i was talking about my specific friend in this scenario. it was not at all a generalizing statement. and her behavior and style hasn’t changed since coming out? she’s been more comfortable and happier, but she’s still pretty butch, she dresses the same just shops from the women’s section, the only physical change was her hair length. i didn’t suspect she was trans because i wasn’t looking for trans behavior i was just hanging out with my friend. i’ve talked a lot abt ‘male and female socialization” as bullshit, but whatever. i forgot trans women can’t possibly be masculine at all.
you don't get to decide something that is PRIMARILY DONE BY TRANS WOMEN TO OTHER TRANS WOMEN is transmisogyny. really frustrating with how trans men and masculine folks have hijacked this conversation
a) i have never seen someone be more hyperfocused on cracking ppls eggs than mostly cis women trying to be allies and failing b) i think if someone’s doing something potentially harmful to trans people you’re allowed to call it out c) don’t try to minimize intra-comunity transphobia, internalized or otherwise and d) do not bring fucking identity politics onto my blog. if we can trust anyone’s opinion based on identity and not their actual claims, then you can’t criticize buck angel and blaire white either. but you can, because even though they’re trans they’re just wrong and creating harm. so we call it out. because identity isn’t what makes your opinion ok, the logic, reasoning, and real-world consequences of a belief is what makes something ok or not ok.
so assuming you know someone better than they know themself, possibly outing them or forcing them to have a conversation before they’re ready, and claiming you can spot trans women because of their behavior is. fucked up no matter who you’re doing it to. if someone wants to come out to you, they will do it when they’re comfortable and ready. you can create an environment where it is safe to come out full of trans positivity and such. there’s no progressive way to stick someone who might be a closeted trans woman in a situation where their choices are coming out or lying(unless they want you to bring it up and it’s obvious).
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