I have a thing to get to but had to get this out real quick
EDIT:
okay back from the thing
-it doesn't actually have to be a negative emotion, I have trouble-causing maladaptive responses to positive ones too
-maladaptive responses usually served the purpose of keeping you safe in a tough situation, or were the only response modeled for you, or both, so they're not Inherently Bad they're just not useful in the context of a healthy relationship
-this is a useful thing to keep in mind if you have a bad track record with relationships and therefore come up against a lot of thoughts like "no one likes the real me/my real feelings" and "I am unloveable". it's not your self or your natural feelings that are the issue, it's the way you've learned to behave in response to them (again, because you had to or you don't know any other way!). which sucks, but the good news is you can unlearn those things and practice new behaviors.
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when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance
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I think we need to get more comfortable with the idea that sometimes shitty, racist, homophobic, bigoted people are still incredibly talented.
I feel like every time I see a post addressing someone’s shitty behavior the post also takes the time to mention that they’re not even good at [x] anyway. And that’s just not always true? Equating being good at a skill as being morally good is just not necessary. Someone can be a fantastic writer, can have a beautiful singing voice, can create breathtaking artwork, and still be a horrible person.
I know part of this is probably just the instinct to dislike everything about a person when you dislike them, but I also think this mindset leads to people defending creatives way past where they should, because if bad people create bad art, then if this person creates art that I like and resonates with me, then they can’t be a bad person!
And you know. That’s just not true. Those two things are simply completely unconnected and I think it’d be healthier if we all started disconnecting them in our heads.
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Studying linguistics is actually so wonderful because when you explain youth slang to older professors, instead of complaining about how "your generation can't speak right/ you're butchering the language" they light up and go “really? That’s so wonderful! What an innovative construction! Isn't language wonderful?"
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