i think teotfw teaches us something special about love.
alyssa and james aren’t meant to be, they aren’t perfect for each other, but they’re also not the antithesis of each other. both two ppl who conditioned themselves to feel either one thing or nothing at all, both ppl who are working through their trauma.
the fact that they aren’t written in a way that paints them as “meant to be” is special. they have to work for it. so much of the show is them asking “shit, what do we do now? how do we fix this?” and that’s important. when james realizes alyssa is scared of him, he acts out of love, and brings her flowers in an attempt to remedy himself. he doesn’t expect forgiveness immediately. he needs to work for it.
when they james kill’s someone and he’s terrified of himself, alyssa thrusts herself to act, taking control of the situation and partially allowing james to process what he’s feeling. in this example, both alyssa and james work for their love. they put in effort.
they don’t expect the result to be perfect, but in their attempts to, in james’s case, apologize to alyssa, and in alyssa’s case, understand james is when we can see the ultimate learning point from love:
you must learn to work together, and that sometimes requires a brief sacrifice of character wherein development can grow.
empathy is the common thread between these two. both need to be empathetic in order to preserve their love.
james, who has not needed to try to force his feelings down utilizes the most human of emotions--love--to make amends with alyssa.
alyssa, who has only felt resentment and rage, forces herself to understand how james must be feeling, thus granting her to act.
the first time we these two act completely out of character is when they demonstrate, in the best way they can, love for each other. the first feeling we get out of james and alyssa besides rage or emptiness is love and empathy.
they try. the effort is what makes them work. not some predestined fate. they end up learning how to love from being with each other, but only because they try to learn.
and that’s what we can learn from them.
love requires work. if you feel that it’s worth the work, then you have to try.
development in lieu of sacrificing old habits and ways of thinking is difficult, but absolutely worth it--if you want it to be.
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