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#Akutagawa Ryūnosuke
bsd-bibliophile · 5 days ago
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I don’t have the strength to keep writing this. To go on living with these feelings is painful beyond description. Isn’t there someone kind enough to strangle me in my sleep?
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “Spinning Gears” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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bsd-bibliophile · 6 days ago
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      To me he said, ‘You can be strangely detached from all things human one minute and the next thing I know you have these incredibly intense human desires, and …’       'Well sure, I can be good and the next thing you know I’m bad.’       ‘No, it’s not so much good and bad as that you’ve got these opposites in you that are … I can’t put it very well, but … maybe it’s like the two poles of electricity. Sort of like having the two opposites in one.’
- Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “Spinning Gears” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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bsd-bibliophile · 7 days ago
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‘The complete works of Dostoevsky. Have you read ‘Crime and Punishment’?’ I had of course become familiar with four or five Dostoevsky novels some ten years earlier. But I found myself moved by the title ‘Crime and Punishment’ which he had just happened (?) to mention, and so I asked him to lend it to me as I was leaving for my hotel… Thinking of Raskolnikov, I felt the desire to confess everything I had done…
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “Spinning Gears” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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bsd-bibliophile · 9 days ago
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Whenever the work tired me, I would open Taine’s ‘History of English Literature’ and peruse the lives of the poets. Every one of them was unhappy. Even the giants of the Elizabethan age - Ben Jonson, the greatest scholar of his day, had succumbed to such a case of nervous exhaustion that he saw the armies of Rome and Carthage launching a battle on his big toe. I couldn’t suppress my wicked glee at their misfortune.
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “Spinning Gears” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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bsd-bibliophile · 9 days ago
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I wandered among the bookcases under the electric light, coming to a halt before a case labeled ‘Religion.’ There I looked through a volume with a green cover. The Table of Contents listed one chapter as ‘The Four Fearsome Enemies - Doubt, Fear, Arrogance, Sensual Desire.’ When I saw this, I felt still more defiant: these so-called ‘enemies’ were, at least to my mind, simply different names for sensitivity and intellect.
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “Spinning Gears” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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bsd-bibliophile · 10 days ago
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     He was a young man in his early twenties wearing a uniform with gold buttons. I stared at him in silence and noted a mole on the left side of his nose. He had removed his hat and he spoke nervously.      “You are Mr. A, are you not?”      “I am.”      “I thought so.”      “Is there something I can do for you?”      “Oh, no, I just wanted to meet you, Sensei. I’m a devoted reader of your works, and…”      I was already walking on before he could finish; I gave him a quick tip of my hat and left him behind. “Sensei,” “A-Sensei”: such titles of respect were the worst thing that anyone could use for me these days. I believed that I had committed every sin known to man, but they went on calling me “Sensei” whenever they had the chance, as if I were some sort of guru. I couldn’t help but feel in this the presence of something mocking me. “The presence of something”? But my materialism could only reject such mysticism. Just a few months earlier, I had written in a small coterie magazine: “I have no conscience at all - least of all an artistic conscience. All I have is nerves.”
- Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “Spinning Gears” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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bsd-bibliophile · 11 days ago
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Thinking how Gogol, too, had gone mad, he could not help feeling that there was a force governing all of them.
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “The Life of a Stupid Man” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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bsd-bibliophile · 12 days ago
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      She had a radiant face, like the morning sun on a thin sheet of ice. He was fond of her, but he did not lover her, nor had he even laid a finger on her.      “I’ve heard you want to die,” she said.      “Yes - or rather, it’s not so much that I want to die as that I’m tired of living.”      This dialogue led to a vow to die together.      “It would be a Platonic suicide, I suppose,” she said.      “A Platonic double suicide.”      He was amazed at his own sangfroid.
- Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “The Life of a Stupid Man” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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Donald Keene wrote this about Akutagawa in Dawn to the West: “The suicide memorandum passed next to the debates he had with himself over the manner and place of suicide, ending with his decision on aesthetic grounds not to hang himself, though he believed it was the least painful way out. He revealed also that a certain woman wished to join him in suicide, but he had decided against this, both out of consideration for his wife and because dying alone would be easier to arrange.”
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cottonwoolwounds · 14 days ago
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bsd + dog breeds
note: based on both looks and temperament
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atsushi: samoyed • akutagawa: akita • chuuya: basenji • fyodor: saluki • dazai: irish setter • ranpo: papillon
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bsd-bibliophile · 14 days ago
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He suffered an onslaught of insomnia. His physical strength began to fade as well. The doctors gave him various diagnoses - gastric hyperacidity, gastric atony, dry pleurisy, neurasthenia, chronic conjunctivitis, brain fatigue … But he knew well enough what was wrong with him: he was ashamed of himself and afraid of them - afraid of the society he so despised.
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “The Life of a Stupid Man” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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cottonwoolwounds · 16 days ago
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bsd college hcs - ft. the port mafia
notes: oda and ango are included. mentions of drinking
chuuya
fancy man is a fashion major stop trying to make your walter white hat trendy, chuuya
unfortunately he is a crusher of dreams because he never asks anyone to model for him. no wattpad y/n moments to be found. he will, however, begrudgingly fix any tears or loose buttons in your clothes if you ask
he almost changed his major because he sucks at using technology and he had to learn how to make patterns digitally. rip chuuya's smashed keyboard, gone but not forgotten 🕊
akutagawa
he wanted to become a mortician because he "wouldn't have to work with living people" but then he found out he'd still have to deal with the deceased's crying family members and dropped it
failing all of his classes because he's too stubborn (and awkward) to ask for help
he looks laser-focused during lectures and exams but he's actually spacing out with the mii plaza theme playing in his head. the lights are on but nobody's home
higuchi
business major #girlboss 😩
wears pantsuits to her 8 AM classes which is both amazing and terrifying. everyone else is shuffling along in their pajamas but she's ready
a total suck up when it comes to professors and TAs but it comes it handy because she graduates with tons of connections and internship options
gin
undecided- she saw how her brother dropped his major and now she overthinks and nitpicks all of her major options until she discards them as possibilities :/
her and ryūnosuke go to the same school but they both agreed to pretend that the other doesn't exist. they give each other a little head nod in passing though
she's quiet but she actually has a pretty active social life. she's just got a friend group that likes to go to walmart at 2 am and then play drunk mario kart in the common room instead of going clubbing
tachihara
mechanical engineering & you can tell because he's always covered in grease
he just wants to party with his friends but he always has so much math hw and unlike kajii, he actually does his assignments. r.i.p.
he just likes fixing cars. why does he have to take chemistry? please let him change your tire or something, he has untreated adhd and sitting in a classroom with no hands-on activity is torture
kajii
very stereotypical comp-sci major minus the intelligence
he's in a frat but even his fraternity brothers don't like him so his hazing ritual was excessively harsh
he has 0 brain cells left by the time he graduates because he spent all his time partying. at least he got really good at making cocktails
oda
he's an elementary education major because he wants to teach children but the thought of working with middle/high schoolers made him physically recoil
an amazing roommate. he orders your favorite food on doordash during finals week while you pull all-nighters together
speaking of all-nighters, his sleep schedule is horrible. you have to sleep facing the wall or else the glow of his phone screen is going to keep you up while he reads ebooks at 2 am. why doesn't he turn down the brightness? why must you both suffer?
ango
law. he hates his classmates for being stereotypical law students but he's just as bad
he's an RA and a hardass, so you better have a really good hiding place for that bottle of svedka you smuggled in if he's assigned to your dorm
knows all of the coolest spots around campus. he finds freshman you lost and crying and gives you the best tour you've ever had; you appreciated it, but you really just needed to get to your history lecture
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bsd-bibliophile · 16 days ago
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      He walked through a field of plume grass with a university student. “You fellows still have a strong will to live, I suppose?”       “Yes, of course, but you, too…”       “Not any more,” he said. He was telling the truth. At some point he had lost interest in life. “I do have the will to create though.”       “But surely the will to create is a form of the will to live…?”       To this he did not reply. Above the field’s red plumes rose the sharp outline of an active volcano. He viewed the peak with something close to envy, though he had no idea why this was so… .
- Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “The Life of a Stupid Man” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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bsd-bibliophile · 17 days ago
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He wanted to live life so intensely that he could die at any moment without regrets. But still, out of deference to his adoptive parents and his aunt, he kept himself in check. This created both light and dark sides of his life. Seeing a comic puppet in a Western tailor’s shop made him wonder how close he himself was to such a figure.
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “The Life of a Stupid Man” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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bsd-bibliophile · 18 days ago
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He lit a cigarette and ambled into the market. Just then a lean black dog started barking at him, but he was not afraid. Indeed, even loved this dog.
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “The Life of a Stupid Man” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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bsd-bibliophile · 19 days ago
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The odor was something close to overripe apricots. Catching a hint of it as he walked through the charred ruins, he found himself thinking such thoughts as these: The smell of corpses rotting in the sun is not as bad as I would have expected. When he stood before a pond where bodies were piled upon bodies, however, he discovered that the old Chinese expression, ‘burning the nose,’ was no mere sensory exaggeration of grief and horror. What especially moved him was the corpse of a child of twelve or thirteen. He felt something like envy as he looked at it, recalling such expressions as ‘Those whom the gods love die young.’ Both his sister and his half-brother had lost their houses to fire. His sister’s husband, though, was on a suspended sentence for perjury. Too bad we didn’t all die. Standing in the charred ruins, he could hardly keep from feeling this way.
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “The Life of a Stupid Man” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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Bsd Chapter 87-88 spoilers!
Yk the fact that Akutagawa is dead hasn't really sinked in my head yet... And we are already on chapter 93. Idk if its bc im in huge denial about it or because I just can't really see him die this early on in the story. I think that Akutagawa isn't going to really die, a part of me is hopeful. Since he turned into a vampire and all, theres still a small chance he can survive this one. I mean what was the point of molding Aku and Atsushi into the new Soukoku for one of them to die this easily?
A part of me doesn't want him dead because im biased and I love him so much but another part of me still doesn't accept Aku's death and tbh I think most of the fandom hasn't really accepted it yet and I think its because his death is written in a way that makes us doubt his passing.
I really hope that Akutagawa's character won't die here, he has so much potential for more character growth and development.
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bsd-bibliophile · 20 days ago
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Why did this one have to be born - to come into the world like all the others, this world so full of suffering? Why did this one have to bear the destiny of having a father like me?
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, “The Life of a Stupid Man” from Rasōmon and Seventeen Other Stories
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