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kichoukotori · 2 years

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Several years ago I briefly worked in the warehouse of a nondescript extremely large e-commerce company. I had no other options for employment but desperately needed money. Turnover was like 150%. I worked from something like 7pm to 5am, my commute was 50 minutes each way and before I got paid I didn't even have the cash for enough gas to get home one night and had to bum $10 off of my kid sibling (this is all to give you an idea of my abysmal mental state while employed here.) You're not allowed to do anything besides your job, no music or anything and they track your movement on cameras so you can't even take a breather. The job is real monotonous, you get sent boxes of items of random sizes and you have to put the items into shelves of varying sizes and the shelves come to you, you don't walk to them. Because the company tracks the rate at which you put items on these shelves, many small items are desirable because you can put a lot of them in quickly. Everything about the place seems almost designed intentionally to break you mentally and turn you into a robot. So I'm about 6 or 7 hours into my shift, feeling on the verge of a mental collapse, and up comes a container with a bunch of small white boxes, bout half the size of a deck of cards. No labels. Great, I'm already happy about whatever these things are. So I go to scan them in, and it gives you the name of the item and a little picture. Sasuke Penis Costume. What? Sasuke Penis Costume. A picture of that red cloud robe from Naruto and one of the headbands with the metal plate on it. I'm thinking, there's no way. What is a penis costume? Am I hallucinating this? And there's so many of them, literally about a hundred, and I know I'm going to be spending at least an hour with Sasuke Penis Costume, there's so many and they're so small, I'm already excited about the potential efficiency of these, and then I see it's Sasuke Penis Costume? So the entire shift I'm like, trying to not put these things away too quick, because honestly I'm starting to build a kind of kinship with them. This is quite literally the most exciting thing to happen to me during my whole 2 week employment at the warehouse. I started to see Sasuke Penis Costume as a friend, some reminder of the outside world, a reminder of the humanity I was becoming so unfamiliar with, a reminder the world contained comedy, art, anime, and penis. I really couldn't tell you if I ended up putting all of them away, the last thing I remember is my desperate need to look these items up when I got home. I needed a link to send to my friends for when I told them this riveting story. I learned that the costume is called the Akatsuki cloak in my fervent search for the item, and wouldn't you know it, absolutely zero trace of these things exists online. Not on the e-commerce website, not on any specialized penis-costume websites (whose existence I was not privvy to prior to this incident) and no third-party retailer has these. Not even Google images will show me the hypothetical existence of Sasuke Penis Costume. Every few months I look it up, trying to find evidence that it can be bought, that any of this was ever real. My bond, my friendship, and dare I say even love for Sasuke Penis Costume feels as tangible as the boxes they came in, and yet the universe will give me no closure of their fate. Less and less frequently I search for them, each time becoming more and more discouraged that I will ever find them, but unlike their substance on this earth, one thing is inarguably certain. Sasuke Penis Costume exists to me, and it will live on firmly and resolutely within my memory and within my heart.

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yesitsmewhataboutit · 1 year

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SHOW US WHAT U BOUGHT AT YOMACON

Sneak peek of my room ig hahah (it’s a video)

#fun fact tho #where the dr stone poster is #i had my Akatsuki cloak there #but it was so big so I moved the cloak back to my door #and put it there #yeah #hehe

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kiayaaccessories2 · 2 years

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Welcome to India's largest online store. Shop Akatsuki Cloak in India at best prices. Just go the website and purchase the best.

#Akatsuki Cloak India

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hinakazino · 10 months

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Tobi’s Sister? || Akatsuki w/ child!reader

Summary: You’re tobi’s sister, that’s it. You may also be the one the Akatsuki love most.

Warnings: Fluff, tiny bit of angst.

Inspired by this piece: uchihas w/ sister!reader.

You were the last Uchiha ever born, as in you were born a little over a year before the Uchiha Clan Massacre. Obito had known about your presence as it was no secret when a new member was arriving.

Although it was traditional to keep quiet about it until around the 2nd semester out of worry for stressing out the mother. He still found out anyway, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it.

Your arrival was a heartwarming moment. Your mother was very happy for you filled up her heart. Her heart which was dull, was now filled with hope, from the previous loss of her son, him.

It was unfortunate then, that not long after having you that she had gone. That the whole clan had gone, except for you and Sasuke. Obito had debated on your worth but ultimately he chose to keep you and Madara didn't seem to be against it.

Madara himself hearing that he had a little sister had simply said that "we should at least leave out some hope for our clan". So, on the night of the Uchiha massacre you were taken to a secret location, death faked.

From that point on, Obito had raised you on his own and he soon found that you were his love. You were so sweet and adorable, he didn't want anything happening to you. When you came he swore no feelings towards you, yet now you are his weakness.

It wasn't like Obito hid his face from you either, but he knew that he had to keep his plan foolproof so he never told you his real name, sticking to Tobi/big brother. He'd save that revelation for when you were much older.

By the age of 3, you were a healthy toddler who was energetic and intelligent. You picked up things quicker than others, such as walking and talking. Although you weren't a professional you could communicate what you wanted. It was at this age that Obito introduced you to the Akatsuki. Most of the members were surprised by this. Not really by the point that Tobi had this child with him who he had a brotherly relationship with, but more so the point that Pain actually allowed you into the organization.

By the age of 4 you had gotten used to your environment, you were an energetic child. Tobi was personally worried about how the Akatsuki would treat you but nothing bad came out of it. You were given all you needed and treated with the utmost respect.

It was honestly laughable, how the akatsuki. The most powerful criminal organization, dawned in their signature black, red cloud cloaks had this small child. In her small puffy dress running around.

The truth was that not all of the akatsuki knew you personally, they knew you exist but not all have met you. It was decided that you'd be with the main group.

Pain was at a loss of words, truly, when you were introduced into the equation. He knew right away that you were definitely an uchiha and that you had quite a strong bond with Tobi (for him, "Madara").

But it seemed that out of all things Tobi sincerely meant everything he said about you. He had even cited how Pain and Konan wanted to create a place where children could be happy, "a place I hope she'll be," he said while cradling your sleeping form.

So, Pain ultimately did let you in but not without stating his own terms. Handling a child was not at all easy and if you were to stay with them. You should at least be trained to an extent where you were useful.

After all, the organization doesn’t want any people who’d slow them down. At least, that was the original reason, deep down Pain did feel the need to protect you.

Ultimately a plan was devised, they’d take care of you, teach you, and train you. The more difficult things could be dealt with later on. So, a teaching plan was developed for you when you became apart of the Akatsuki.

Kakuzu had known of your arrival long before any of the other members. As previously Pain had consulted him on this as part of the budget would be put towards taking care of you. This, greatly annoyed Kakuzu.

Kakuzu didn't understand why Pain even cared about you to this extent. He saw this as wasted money, baby formula and diapers weren't cheap. But thankfully, he didn't have to worry about that because by the time you were established as a member you didn't need that anymore.

He eventually didn't mind you at all as you weren't that big of an annoyance. You weren't that interested in him at first. Eventually though due to Pains plan Kakuzu would have to teach you mathematics.

A class, which, to your dismay and Kakuzu's you disliked. Nonetheless he was at least grateful you absorbed knowledge and was quite shocked whenever you'd join into his money-speaking conversations with Hidan.

Hidan was one of the most shocked members, "oh I wonder how strong she is!" he had said. Then when your small form peaked out from behind Tobi, Konan had to reminded him that you were just a child.

Hidan got along with you easily though, and it was no secret the rest of the members enjoyed the "tea parties" you'd host with him and Deidara. Hidan greatly enjoyed your innocence to the world.

Especially your reaction to new things. He remembers laughing so hard when he had you try french fries for the first time, or when you'd seen a shooting star for the first time. He made sure of course, to tell you to make a wish. He really enjoyed your company.

Despite this, Hidan wasn't given an educational role but more so a babysitter rule. It wasn't ideal but he was like a guard for you, since he enjoyed your company he was tasked with keeping an eye on you most of the time.

Deidara reacted exactly like Hidan had, he didn't expect you to be a kid though honestly! When he first saw you he honestly thought you were quite cute. You were so chubby and soft, he loved whenever he'd come back from a long mission. You'd run and hug him!

It was even better when Hidan and him would compete for who you'd hug first. However most of the time you wouldn't choose or just run to Konan instead.

Deidara, unlike Hidan, although being assigned to watch over you partly also was your art teacher. Deidara was not allowed to use explosions at all with you, this was strictly forbidden by Pain and more so by Tobi. Not like he would though after seeing how easily you could get injured. You had merely fell but it'd left you with two bleeding knees that healed fast thankfully since you were still young, but had scared you for awhile. It hurt Deidara to witness that, who would enjoy that anyway?

He mainly just has you make sculptures with him, and it isn't like he hates doing other things besides sculptures. So besides his tendency to destroy things in "the name of art" he really doesn't do that with you also because you had cried once. That was when he realized you were more of a collection person.

Sasori hadn’t given any reaction at all when you’d arrived. He saw it like this, as long as you didn’t disturb him he wouldn’t you. However, it seems like Pain had other plans.

As you technically had to be taught besides being taken care of. It turns out that Sasori had been chosen to be your science teacher. He wasn’t particularly fond of this idea as a child such as you seemed quite dumb, no?

Well he was wrong about you being dumb because you were quite intelligent for your age, but not obedient. Sasori was a man who’d get the job done though so he found a way around your constant moving. It didn't take a genius to figure out kids were active.

He was actually starting to enjoy teaching you then, as you were always excited when he said he had something new for you. You absorbed knowledge from him and always praised him. This stroked his ego a lot.

He was especially impressed at your reaction to his puppets. You’d let out the loudest squeal he’d ever heard and hadn’t even realized it was a puppet. You reminded him of when he was young, and it made him get closer to you.

Itachi had just accepted your presence, although your age shocked him a bit. He was technically considered young himself when he had joined the Akatsuki, and besides he'd seen much worse.

At first, he didn't know how to interact with you but introductions were said and done with Pain's assignment for him. Itachi was to be your actual babysitter, he got you ready for meals, helped dress you, and more.

Pain knew out of everyone here Itachi was kind with kids and knew how to be responsible. Which is why Itachi is your Nanny, always reminding you of naps, rest, and shower time.

It was a bit debated whether it would be Konan or Itachi but Konan was normally rather busy and Itachi had swore to Tobi no harm would come to you. He wasn't one to break promises either. Itachi tried to not become attached to you emotionally but clearly failed. He didn't want to lose another person, or worst comes to worst, be the one to take out that said person. He wasn't an idiot, he knew you were an Uchiha from the moment he laid eyes on you. It was the most shocking of all in your first meeting. He couldn't help feeling grateful in the end however, to know that at least one person was spared from the massacre. This was soon combined with a feeling of guilt though as he knew you were entangled in much more now, he vowed he'd protect you if he could, just like Sasuke.

Eventually, you had come to love Itachi just like a brother, he gave you a sense of familiarity and was super gentle. The same could be said for Itachi, who now saw Sasuke in you.

Kisame was quite amused when you'd joined the Akatsuki. Wouldn't it be rather fun for people to hear of this? Well, either way he thought you'd be scared of him on your first meeting.

Turns out you weren't in the least, you were really curious about him too. When you'd first met your hands had touched his face all over, but what made you love him the most was how high he could lift you.

This was when Kisame first learned just how much kids loved to be tossed around (gently) and he always made sure to lower his strength around you. He actually was quite entertained with you, not as bored as he’d thought.

He was assigned to be your swim teacher, expected really. He began teaching you right away and quickly caught onto your fear of the deep water. Not to fear though because Tobi was there watching your first couple lessons and Kisame controlled the waters to prevent any harm.

He did his best to make the waters seem calm and fun. Whenever he could he’d take you to the beach or a lake. Sometimes Itachi would even tag along with you two as he watched Kisame swim out with you.

Kisame felt proud knowing you were learning quickly. He had bragged about it once to Hidan and Deidara too. They had called him soft towards you but it wasn’t necessarily a lie.

Konan lastly, was your Language/Biology teacher, she came around more often after you came into the equation. You were so adorable in her eyes and she loved whenever you’d run into her arms.

Konan loved your squishy chubby cheeks, most of all your cute voice when you called her name. She was assigned as your biology teacher for obvious reasons. Although this is a more later role she would help you through puberty and such.

She was also your language teacher, helping you learn the characters and to read. Enjoying the fun moment she’d have with you on her lap reading along. You were a kind presence in her world, a reminder of what she hopes to work towards.

Konan is happy to take care of you and you view her much like an older sister. She teaches you so much, and is a very encouraging person. Helping you gain new experiences and also protecting you as much as she can.

#naruto #anime #Itachi x reader #Akatsuki #Akatsuki x reader #Pain x reader #Konan x reader #Kisame x reader #Kakuzu x reader #Deidara x reader #Hidan x reader #Tobi/Obito x reader #Naruto x reader #Child!Reader

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vulpisnocturna · 9 months

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There was only one bed - Horny Akatsuki Edition

request by @takhidk 🤍

SOFT NSFW

Deidara:

-is completely speechless when he finds out there is only one bed at the inn during your mission together

-acts cocky though, telling you not to make a move on him

-he’s the first one to make a move, saying the bed is too small (he is literally 5’5” lmao) as he scoots closer to you

-you tease him about it and he tells you to shut up, his cheeks red

-he’s never had sex before but what he lacks in experience he makes up for with his enthusiasm

-you have to tell him that his hands are a gift, and how to use them, but he’s very happy to comply

-‘wouldn’t it be better to make the bed explode when I make you cum, hm?’ he asks, and you look at him, eyes wide

-‘no, Deidara. Unless you want this to never happen again’

-‘fine’

Obito:

-can’t believe himself. He hasn’t slept in the same bed with anyone ever

-decides to play dumb with his Tobi persona, hugging you like a pillow

-in reality, bro is dying to have you close to him

-after a while, though, he gets quite worked up, and decides he’ll have his fun with you. He can tell you want him by the way you casually move your ass against him, as if he couldn’t notice

-he blindfolds you and takes off his mask, starting to kiss your neck, letting his voice drop to his normal tone

-‘you know what happens to little things like you who poke the rattlesnake, right?’

Hidan:

-As soon as he sees there’s only one bed, he’s all for it

-‘I bet you asked for one bed, huh? Guess I’m just irresistible’ he grins cockily

-‘Yeah, right’ you say, rolling your eyes, though you have to admit he is hot.

-‘Let’s fuck’ he says, as forward as always. You stare at him, swallowing painfully

-When you hesitate, Hidan practically throws you on the bed, ripping the cloak off of you and licking your exposed chest

-‘Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have some fun, you and I’ he says, pulling your shirt up and starting to suck on your nipples, a bit too rough, but the pain soon mixes with the pleasure

Itachi:

-blinks and stands in the doorway, looking at the double bed. ‘There must have been a misunderstanding. I will solve it, don’t worry’ he says, disappearing towards the reception. You kind of hope they won’t have any other rooms, although the idea of sleeping with Itachi is both hot and terrifying

-when he comes back, he does not look too happy

-‘I am deeply sorry about this. They do not have any other rooms. I will sleep on the chair’ he says, removing his cloak as he goes in. You do the same, and you don’t fail to catch his eyes on you for a split second. As you get into bed, you stare at him, sucking in your lips

-‘Sleep on the bed, Itachi’ you say after a while. He looks at you, his throat bobbing before he slowly gets up and crawls under the blanket, staring at you. He wants to touch you, but it would be inappropriate. He can’t get himself to move. And yet, when you move closer to him and push your ass against him, he can’t contain himself and wraps a hand around your waist, pulling you closer

-‘Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing. Let me indulge you, then’ he says, his hand slipping under your shorts as he starts to kiss your neck languidly

Pain:

-Is quite pissed off that he was not given two rooms, but when he looks at you, he can’t help but think this must have been fate

-and after all, he hasn’t had that chance in so long

-he saw the way you looked at him, with a blush on your cheeks and suggestive eyes

-‘lie down’ he says, tone authoritative, ‘and take off your clothes’

-you can’t believe your ears. Though when Pain gives you a meaningful look, you quickly do as he says, though you’re blushing and trembling with anticipation

-‘let’s make the most of this unfortunate situation, shall we?’ he says, running his hands on your thighs, splaying them open for him and staring at you with those hypnotic eyes

Kakuzu:

-is fuming at first. No one can mock him like this

-after that, though, he’s quite pleased with himself

-‘Less money to pay like this. We will do this from now on’

-‘Uhm… Kakuzu? Where are you going to sleep?’

-‘On the bed. I am going to get my money’s worth, brat’ he says, removing his headband and mask. You look at him, suddenly hyperaware. He’s… good-looking. For a 90-year old guy, he’s handsome

-when you shift slightly to find a comfortable position on the mattress, black tendrils catch your wrists and you find yourself tied up

-‘You’re a handful. Do not move’ he says, hovering above you. You think he’s going to knock you out cold, but instead, he positions himself between your legs

-‘I don’t want to hear a sound. Or else’

Kisame:

-laughs it off when you’re embarrassed that there’s only one bed

-‘I suppose there’s nothing to be done. Might as well get comfortable’ he says, taking off his cloak and his shirt. You stare at him, your lips parting at the muscles on his body

-‘It’s not a shop window. You can look and touch, if you want’ he says with a sharp grin

-You blush, nevertheless getting closer to him, until your hand is resting on his chest

-His large hands easily lift you up from your waist as he holds you against him until you have to wrap your legs around his hips

-‘I didn’t even need the bed, but since we’re here…’ he says, lowering you on the mattress and grinning as he unfastens your cloak

Sasori:

-‘I don’t need to sleep anyway’ he says, sitting at the desk and turning the lamp on as he starts tinkering with one of his puppets

-You frown, lying down on the bed. The noise of screwdrivers and nails clattering on the desk is pissing you off, and you decide to see if he really is a puppet who doesn’t feel anything at all

-you move your hand between your legs, underneath your underwear

-‘what are you doing?’ he asks, voice smooth, but he doesn’t turn around

-‘nothing’ you say, smirking slightly and gasping softly as you start to touch yourself on the bed.

-‘rude’ he says, and when you try to move, your hands are frozen. When you look at him, there are chakra strings connecting his hands to yours

-‘I suppose I can play with you instead of my puppets tonight’

Konan:

-Blushes when she sees that there’s only one bed and asks you if you want her to look for a different inn

-you tentatively tell her it’s okay

-when you two get into bed, you keep glancing at each other, and you keep looking at that piercing underneath her lip, wondering what it would be like to kiss her and feel it against your lips

-when she moves, you’re frozen in place

-her lips are soft and you do feel the coldness of the metal on your bottom lip, but it’s quite a nice feeling

-Konan gets on top of you, continuing to make out with you, neither of you saying anything as you start to undress each other

-literally the most normal experience you’re gonna get in the Akatsuki, and she’s stunning too! Go you

Zetsu:

-watches you sleep like a creep

-sorry, I got nothing on this “guy”

#writing #naruto #akatsuki imagines #akatsuki #akatsuki smut #akatsuki headcanons #itachi uchiha #itachi smut #uchiha obito #obito smut #pain naruto #nagato #hidan smut #kakuzu #zetsu #kisame hoshigaki #sasori #deidara #konan naruto

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