#Aka I’m feeling emotional and soft because my parents deserve everything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

katsukari · 3 years

Note

Can I have fluff father headcanons with the trios or other characters in MHA?

Of course you can! Sorry this took so long to get out there work and school have been taking up all of my time. Also not quite sure who is in the second trio, so I’m just gonna do the main three and a few others! With that being said, obviously they are adults in this one, so let’s go!

What would Midoriya, Todoroki, Bakugou, Mirio and Tamaki be like as fathers?

Midoriya Izuku

He’d be the sweetest dad, I’m not even gonna pretend otherwise. Like I think he’s gonna be so amazed by his kid and so awestruck. Doesn’t matter if its his biologically or adopted, he will love them just the same.

He will definitely cry the first time he holds them. And the first time they say dad. And he’s gonna cry about a lot of things to be completely honest. He’s so soft.

Get’s so nervous about doing things wrong. He’s probably gonna call and talk to his mom so much about being a dad. How do you change a diaper? What do you do when they won’t take the bottle or pacifier and won’t stop crying? Help mom!

Would support and encourage his child through anything. The first thing that his child decided was going to be their dream job he would hype them up like no other.

No doubt would struggle not to give his kid everything they asked for. The puppy-dog eyes would be the worst for him and he would feel like a monster for saying no, but there are certain things and times he has to.

Not gonna lie, I think he would love to wear clothes that match his kids. Or just have a day where the whole family matches.

He is all about taking pictures and videos of his kid, you sometimes will have to remind him to put the phone or camera down so he can just experience the moment.

Overall I think he’s going to be the cutest dad ever. Loves to hold and carry his child around. If they want a piggyback ride he’s all about it, same goes for naps. Just any time his kid wants to be close to him makes his heart swell.

Todoroki Shouto

I think he would be so nervous to have a kid. He would do his best to hide it, but just give him a lot of reassurance and when he needs it time to think. But he is just so determined to be a better dad than his was and he is.

He is so hesitant to hold his newborn or hug his child if they are adopted. It a common thing, for Todoroki to be incredibly nervous regarding anything to do with his child.

He about melts the first time he hears them laugh. Just like with his significant other, he wants to record it and keep it with him so that whenever life gets hard or work is too stressful he has a pick me up in his pocket.

Once he gets used to having a small human in his life he loves to take a nap on the couch with them laying on his chest. He finds it massively comforting and if you join in it just makes it all the better.

He relies a lot on his mom and siblings to give him advice.

I can see him doing a lot of reading on parenting and getting so caught up in trying to do the right thing he forgets to live life in the moment. After talking to his significant other he relaxes and puts the parenting books back on the shelf.

He gets really emotional as they grow up, and he tries to keep himself from embarrassing them, but sometimes it just comes out. Will apologize if ever he upsets them or he makes a mistake. He knows how important it is that his child trusts him.

He’s a very thoughtful parent and wants to be there for his kid no matter what.

Bakugou Katsuki

He puts on a tough face, but inside I think he’s completely terrified to have a kid. I think since his character growth is so big, he winds up very concerned that he won’t be a good dad. But he is.

All that fear goes away the first time he sees and gets to hold his kid. He completely falls in love and can’t hide it. AKA we get to see soft Bakugou.

His kid has him completely wrapped around their finger. He would do anything for his kid, and surprisingly he has a hard time telling his kid now. If it was anyone else’s kid he would have no problem, but his own child gets whatever they want (within reason).

Always makes sure that he has contact with his kid when they go out to do something like grocery shopping. Lord help anyone who tries to touch or take his child. Protective dad 100%.

He adores it when his kid wants to be near him, though that tough side sometimes shows itself. But more often than not he give in and hold them, puts them on his shoulder or lets them take a nap with him.

Supports his child like no other, and wants to make sure that they are prepared for whatever life throws their way and he hates to see them hurt or sad.

Not going to lie, he probably gets really sad as they grow up and grow away from him. He hates that his job gets in the way of being there for them all the time.

So he cherishes every second he gets with them and tries to make it special.

Will play along with whatever his kid wants him to do, he just can’t say no sometimes. So this does mean that there are time where he find himself at a play tea party or playing out in the rain getting covered in mud.

He’s a good dad, and tries his best to prepare his children for what lies outside their door.

Mirio Togata

Sunshine man. He has more excitement than nerves when it comes to having a child. He is so ready to have a little one running around the house creating a mess wherever they go.

He loves that he can see parts of himself and you in the child, by their looks, their personality, how they speak. All of it, and it goes for if you two adopt a child as well.

He sees the best in them and lifts them up. He loves to make them laugh and smile and he has this incredible skill to calm them down in the middle of crying.

Once they are old enough he loves taking them to the park so they can run around and be active together. Also the fresh air is nice.

Will pick up and hold his child whenever they way. There is something special about having a child want to be near you, and that they trust you to take care of them.

He’s very much an “everything in moderation” kind of parent. He tries not to spoil his kids too much, but he wants to make sure they are happy and safe and that everything is good.

Totally loves playing with his kids, be it tea parties or catch. He’s all about it, especially if it makes them happy.

He tries his best to always be there for his kids and to make time for important occasions.

Will totally wear matching clothes with his kid. If they’re too embarrassed by it he won’t wear it out of the house.

A very energetic parent overall. He loves to be up and moving with his kid and will do anything for them.

Amajiki Tamaki

This precious man is such a nervous wreck, it’s not even funny. He almost says no to holding the child because he’s so anxious that he’ll do something wrong.

Once you’ve convinced him that he won’t drop the child he finally takes them in his arms and he fall completely in love and he vows to be a the best dad.

Loves to hold them. He finds a sense of peace in it and he’s so full of wonder at how something so small and so precious came to be and what he did to deserve it.

You know how I said he loves to slow dance with his s/o? He totally loves to dance with his kids. He may even try some more high energy dances and he loves to get you in the mix as well.

He loves being able to sit around the table with his little family. For some reason he finds comfort in the idea that something depends on him, even though at first it terrified him.

He loves to help them eat and rock them to sleep. Often the warmth and repetitive motions almost puts him to sleep as well. He loves taking naps with his kid.

Has a hard time saying no, how could he when his kid looks at him in that way? With the big puppy dog eyes and the pouty lips, he would hate himself if he said no. He’s whipped.

He is the sweetest most caring father there is. He is such a good listener and he has this ability to make everything feel like it’s going to be alright.

#katsukari #katsukari writes #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #bnha #mha #midoriya izuku #midoriya headcanons #todoroki shouto #todoroki headcanons #bakugou katsuki #bakugou headcanons #mirio togata #mirio headcanons #amajiki tamaki #amajiki headcanons #fluff #bnha fluff #mha fluff

159 notes · View notes

hufflautia · 3 years

Text

Believe me darling, the stars were made for falling

Hello! I didn’t expect to post this “fanfic” because I didn’t write it specifically for fanfiction, if that makes sense. Today, (well it is technically tomorrow for you or perhaps you’re not viewing this on the day that I posted it. today is 12/11 (technically its 12/12 because its 1:39 AM rn lmao i did my makeup and it took longer than expected)) my creative writing teacher told us to write a short piece for a character that I created for the class. I wrote it and I thought about posting it because I liked the idea of it, and I felt as though the main character had slytherin vibes. I also really like the ending, and I wanted to share it with others.

This is not a typical slytherpuff story. It has no magic involved. Slytherin and Hufflepuff are normal people like you and me, aka muggles (or maybe you’re not a muggle( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) who knows?). The story has nothing to do with Harry Potter. Thus, I am creating another section for my masterlist and it will be labeled “somefink special” because its not technically harry potter related. However, it will always have Hufflepuff and Slytherin in it, because I made sure to change the names from the original character. Stories like this is just a work of art that I would like to share with others, so I think of it as somefink special (and somefink is not an actual word, its supposed to be “something” but i just think the spelling is funny). I’m not sure if I will post more stuff like this, as in stuff that doesn’t relate to harry potter but still has my usual characters. Heck, perhaps I’ll write fanfics like this but for other character ships like Slytherin x Ravenclaw or the other ones. We shall see.

Anyways, this “quick” author’s note is running a little long, so I will end it here. I hope you guys enjoy reading this! TOODELOO

FYI, this is not my “monthly” fanfic. In other words, this isn’t the only fanfic that I will be posting for december. I will still be posting The Queen and the Dragon soon (around Christmas). I am almost done with the college process, I need to revise some of my essays and I will finally submit it. After that, I will continue writing the long story. I am currently stuck at a difficult scene that will require a lot of thinking, hence the delay. OK BYE NOW, THIS IS THE FOR-REALSIES TOODELOO :D!

***WARNINGS: Drug abuse, addiction, and suicidal thoughts

Summary: Slytherin is hanging out with her favorite person in the entire world: Hufflepuff, her darling little sister. They lay beneath the stars, comfortable silence drifting upon them like a soft blanket that wraps around them, keeping them safe from outside forces that threaten their moment of contentment. This small pocket of tranquility is rare—and Slytherin knows this. She knows it all too well. As if on cue, it breaks into shattered pieces when she overhears their parents arguing. Again. Dread stealing her breath, a familiar urge rises once more, an urge that is more destructive than she realizes. She wishes the overwhelming feeling of anxiety would go away. And it could—with the help of a couple of pills.

Slytherin smiled, a feeling of mirth warming her heart when she saw the smile plastered on her sister’s face as they laid on their backs against the porch floor, staring up at the stars. She took a hold of Hufflepuff’s hand, her touch slightly sweaty but cold at the same time. She didn’t mind and merely gave it a light squeeze. A cool night breeze blew past them, the wind’s touch like gentle kisses against their skin.

This was nice. This was really nice. Slytherin hardly had any time for herself this week, because she was busy with exam after exam, stress piling on top of her before she could even take a breath of air. To her relief, the burdens finally lifted because it was Saturday, and she didn’t have to worry about school. She was with her sister, and that was all she needed. In fact, she was so comfortable and content that she didn’t even think about the drugs. A pestilent part of her, the part that was created the moment she swallowed the white pill down her throat, urged her to go inside. To walk nonchalantly towards the bathroom with a pace that was fast enough so that she would get to where she wanted to go quickly but slow enough to not attract any attention. To snatch her mom’s bottle of Xanax and hurry to her own room, making sure to lock the door before sitting on her bed. To pop the drug into her mouth and allow the artificial feeling of euphoria to overtake her.

But that destructive part of her settled down, for she was with the person she loved most. Their surroundings dark enough to see the hazy glow of the stars above, they laid there, gazing upon the night sky. Aside from the soft rustling of the trees nearby and the occasional giggles that spilled from her sister’s mouth because that’s just how 10-year-olds were, it was quiet and peaceful.

But like most things, it didn’t last for long.

“You fucking asshole!”

Through the walls, Slytherin could hear her mother’s muffled words, her tone hot and angry. Whenever her parents argued, they would spit curse words out like poison, the dreadful toxin targeted at each other with the intent to kill and destroy.

She sighed. For once, just for once, why couldn’t things be normal? She desperately wished that the comfortable silence that drifted upon them could come back, and she would gladly welcome it with open arms.

However, she felt Hufflepuff squeeze her hand, and she knew that the peace that she had known a few minutes ago would not return. Not for a while. Squeezing her hand was a nervous habit of Hufflepuff’s—a habit that Slytherin was well aware of. Even if she tried her very best to shield her darling sibling from the atrociousness of their home-life, it was essentially impossible.

Her sister was young and so terribly innocent. If she could, she would take all the pain that Hufflepuff endured from living in a dysfunctional household and pour it into herself. That way, she wouldn’t have to suffer.

But this wasn’t a fairy tale. Slytherin didn’t have magical powers to take their suffering away. She couldn’t give her sister the happy ending that she deserved. This was reality, and they would just have to endure this for a while.

“I’ll be right back,” she whispered before opening the porch door and stepping into the dungeon that she called home. Dread seemed to choke her as she neared her parents’ room, inhaling sharply at the sound of shouts that seemed to boom from the walls.

Gingerly turning the knob of their door, she peeked inside. Tears trickled down her mother’s face, her slightly red eyes ablaze with anger. “I can’t believe you would cheat on me again!”

Her dad started to mutter something lowly but she cut him off. “Do you have any idea how much this affects me,” she said in disbelief. “How much this affects your children?”

She suddenly caught sight of Slytherin, who immediately felt a sinking feeling in her chest when she was caught lurking. The feeling intensified when her mom walked towards her.

Slytherin immediately withdrew and tried to close the door but her mom opened it enough to fixate the full force of her anger onto her daughter. “Why can’t you mind other people’s business,” she hissed before slamming the door shut, leaving her in complete darkness.

There it was. The breaking point. Her face contorted into a grimace as she tried to will the tears away. Her sadness quickly morphed into annoyance. “I hate her,” she thought angrily as she walked to her room. “She’s gonna wish she didn’t say that when she finds me dead on the fucking floor.” Her chest heaved with sorrow and a torrent of emotions clashed within her. A million thoughts zoomed through her head. Fucking bitch, I fucking hate you. I hate everything. I wish I was never born into this family. I hate my parents, I hate my mom, I hate my dad. Why the fuck did he have to cheat? Were we not enough?

She was frustrated and resentful, but most of all, she was broken inside. She needed to calm the raging storm of anxiety within her—and she knew exactly what to do.

Hiding the bottle of Xanax in her pocket, she walked towards her room. Just as she was opening her door, she felt someone close their hand over her wrist. She looked back and saw Hufflepuff, who looked at her with furrowed brows.

“Are you coming back,” she asked in a small voice.

Slytherin swallowed with difficulty. If things had gone differently, she would have gone back to the porch with her sister and continued their night of stargazing. If her parents weren’t completely psychos whose hate for each other shook the household, she wouldn’t be addicted to the drugs that controlled her life.

“I have homework to do,” she responded. “Ask Gryffindor to go outside with you, okay?”

Her sister nodded and started her way to their other sister who decided not to join them on the porch because she had cooler 13-year old things to do.

Slytherin watched her retreating figure before closing the door and twisting the lock in a flash. She exhaled slowly as she took a seat on the edge of her bed.

“Finally,” she breathed out in a whisper as she uncapped the bottle, gently shaking it so that a couple of tablets spilled out onto her hand. She had never taken so much, and she knew that as she poked the contents with a finger. But she needed this. Her family—more specifically, her parents—were fucked up, and there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t fix her father’s constant infidelity. She couldn’t control her mother’s temper. Hell, she couldn’t even take hold of her own life, for the white rectangular capsules held the reins, the power. And she would gladly let it take control. Just for a little while longer.

Slytherin tossed the pills into her mouth and took a sip of water to ease them down her throat. She fell back onto her bed with her arms spread out on either side of her, forming a crooked ‘T’ shape. As she stared up at the ceiling, a blissful smile slid onto her face.

She could see the stars again.

Comments and reblogs are a writer’s gold!

MASTERLIST ; sometimes links don’t appear on posts. if you can’t see the link linked to “MASTERLIST”, the masterlist itself is pinned to the top of my blog. check it out if you haven’t already :D

Author’s note: HELLO AGAIN! I hope you enjoyed reading that. The story is dark and sad, so I will include some wholesome pictures to rid you of the lingering sadness that you might be feeling right now.

you can probably tell that i’m a dog person lmao :’) I hope you are feeling better! I am not sure if I will turn this into a series; there is a chance I will because I will have to continue writing stories in english class for this character. i actually have another story for the character (her name is Faye) and idk if I should post it. Let me know if you want me to release it!

Did anyone else feel slytherin vibes from... well, slytherin? Technically it’s Faye, but I changed the name for the purpose of posting. In my opinion, the slytherin in her is presented in the fact that she cares a lot about her sister, aka Hufflepuff, and slytherins typically care a lot about those close to them. it was also shown in the sense that she isolates herself, but then again, anyone can isolate themself, regardless of their hogwarts house. maybe im just overthinking this. After all, if I had changed the name from Faye to Hufflepuff, that could still work as well.

In fact, I might even change the names sometimes, depending on what is happening in that moment. Faye is pansexual, and I was talking to my friend about the story, and she said maybe she’ll get a gf, so maybe ill keep Faye’s name as Slytherin and have Hufflepuff (DIFFERENT HUFFLEPUFF FROM THE LITTLE SISTER OF COURSE) be the girlfriend?? idk, we’ll see.

Anyways, let me know what you thought of this fanfic. Should I do more like this, as in post my future works that arent actually related to harry potter but is set in the real world?

OH GOSH BEFORE I FORGET, THANK YOU FOR 700!! I guess this will be my thank you present, because I like to write fanfics as a present whenever I hit a follower mark. I intended The Queen and The Dragon to be the thank-you present for 600, but we are well past that, and the fanfic is long overdue. I had planned to change the fanfic to “thank you for 700” but i plan on posting it near christmas, so i will consider it as a “MERRY CHRISTMAS, HERES A FANFIC:D”.

As always, I appreciate you very very much. Thank you for reading this and being caring enough to do so. I appreciate that very very very much, and I am sending you some gucci vibes! It is currently 2:34 am and i should get some sleep. goodnight! love you all! BYE

TAGS:

@slytherpuff-shenanigans @lokijiro @xxkitsurikaxx @sara-is-boredd @skylee-skz @determinedpines @draco22malfoy @pancakes-and-sugar @casteel08 @indigosimon1998 @tell-that-to-my-feather @the-ugly-duck0 @prettyblueskylark @okiguessimawitchnow @daisyinmyheart @peachyblue @korra4321 @shoyoockbby @ravenflowersposts @walkinganomaly @parkerthemarker02 @hummingbird-hufflepuff @bumbblebeeeeee @luciferswife16 @iknow-im-cute @maisen98 @shadowsinger11 @tuonglam03 @fanfic-reblogger @mygc0re @rellasworld @sha3thehunter @croctusjuice @jadefox05 @d0uxs @charleii @kaylenthegreat @nekuneku13 @hufflepufflepukwudgie3897 @insertlongnamehere @trashpannda @ihate-myname @nowheredreamer @history-geek101 @strawberrypanda99 @nikkijovanic @hannanshi @sirenofthe7seas @johannamariemst @badass-like-damon @mybreadstickbabe @willow-salix @remmyswritings @x-whatsupdoc-x @dracosvftie @hitchhiker-of-the-galaxy @akerlizzie @thatfann @justanxiousme @another-witch @bucinjisung @elegantcroissantplaidpony @treefroggo @narritydream @hufflpuffles @adreameratdawn @leftpeanutturtleegg @turbulentbluebird5 @geekgirl69 @praiseourlordduck @quakemebacktothe50s @nomad-of-the-realms @stardustzainy @theblackwolf21 @crakencc @introvertedrae @cryinbisexual @bojelina @cocoqueenstheword @manicpixiedreamtarot @velvetstrawberry @jxmpsuitx @simpering-simpleton @urfaveslytherin @asterinatlas @simpforkpop @pufflehuff929 @morallyambiguoussimp @applekenm @chunwest @oncergleekpotterhead @no1-importan @qiaopao @dulduldoldul @schlongbottom @vickeyunicorn @peanut-in-the-goal @hufflepuffgirly @flvrqnce @nothingtoseehere812 @maxwellsgang @1d-killed-me @betacaroteno-lanudo @dragon-slayer-fairy1 @thatonebislytherin @dragonsandbread @justanotherperson @sophiexteresa @hmilkwhoney @writertwiddle @questionsbecameourocean @anomiatartle @coldsweetharmony @dont-hyuck @fixstationed @kindawannadietbh @trippy-morgan @xo-angel-ox @fangirlgeekandfreak @evolnura @mossy-axolotl @verylovelystars @boilyourteeth @megand2017 @malfoys-demigod @booksntings @joshirlangford @staymoarmyzen @poojxshxh @hedgepuffgirl @alverniaphi @verifiefangirl-mainblog @purpleskymalfoy @roxy3457 @rayanicaraynbow @jess-harrywars @starrysonic @tonksichu @lauxtbs @tumlbr-trasher @chelseasosa @thebiggestnaturaldisaster @swagangelhorsepickle @princessstoopid @pymmoon @emilyaneliperry @pond-waterr @pandapillow @saraleo95 @astrartss @trentalexanders @theoriginaljohnwatsonsblog @nevilletheplantboi @just--another--hufflepuff @yoongifiess @ajdqueen @annie-mcl @coloring-bud @majorfangirl37 @eatacrackerandstop @weasleytwinswheezes @imscaredofhorses @dontmindmeimjustabox @glitterykidlightmug @multi-fandom-nutjob @littleemotionalpanda @thewitcheswords @blueberry-9-pancakes @worldsbestdilfbecky @qixnsriess @inexperiencedpotathoe @notsowiseravenclaw @captiniminnie @ruinyourface @da-fox-rangerrr @inkedintothepaper @happy-puff @grandcyclecreation @dawinehouse @catiwisspuff @aasa2102 @mae-25 @sydthekidd98 @kokichismango @xxavaloraxx @iamahufflepuff @adoregin @sunnniiee @lewispoolerpayton @dumbbitch85 @bumblebirbs @diggorycullen @protectorofsk8topia @silverhetdanes @zuko-28 @beardedhumanoid @arianatorpotterhead @shipping-book-keeper @marvelenthusiast10 @i-cannot-do-aesthetics @a-huffleing-lesbean @kaslec @hufflepuffwritess @mouthfacereborn @kodeinekissss @ihavenocontrolofmylifeeither @pinqgchuu @im-a-solanum-lycopersicum @clementines-x @stressy-depressy @sweetinvisiblewriter @absentmindeduniverse @asnowpuff @theofficialgaybestfriend @incorrect-spooktubers @violayaxley @sunshinyyb @colettedelaurel @theoriginalsherlockholmesblog @i-have-a-bad-feeling @jpow345 @haechanstwin @gay-disaster826 @bloodyxheaven @autumnpleaves @froggy-failure @toomanybandstocare @pink1babez @untitled-2424 @sleepdeprivedgurl @chaseanders @wolfpack-arts-industries99 @nugnugchick @queenofwordsandnerds @ganjeolhiddaeng @wordy-escapades @writtenfoxscreams @w0odr0ses @coolpetsmcubandit @crypticcandi @widowsgranger @fantasyprincess101 @wiiltedflowers @aestheticworldd @miniaturefunnytraveldonkey @bucketofdeadroses @uwuplsh @softedits-exe @cel3stialone @sofiapeachyy @wanderaven92 @eunnieah @marsupialsgotbloodyears @eurydicedior @neonuzumaki @uhhhem

121 notes · View notes

seijorhi · 3 years

Text

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

#ask #anon #rhi answers #ohh so many asks #i love you guys <33 #fic q's

31 notes · View notes

sxvxrxssnape · 3 years

Text

minerva mcgonagall’s personal mission to make severus love christmas part 5

aka snolidays/snapemas day 11 and 12 (hot chocolate, baking) // pre-PS/the years between. minerva and severus friendship // content warning: panic attack and mentions of lily potter. i feel like this should be considered a snapetober entry oops. word count: 4287 @blog4snape

The night ended with more hot chocolate as the five stood together and watched a choreography of lights move above the pond, creating elves loading a sack full of gifts onto the outline of a waiting sleigh, watched it become glowing reindeer pulling it off the ground, rising in height and getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared and the light show began again.

It felt like magic and he refused to believe none was involved.

He fell asleep fully clothed that night, contentment and milk chocolate running through his veins as he begrudgingly made another mark on the imaginary scorecard.

Minerva was definitely winning.

Saturday was spent finishing the potions for the infirmary, bottling and stoppering the dozens of phials, and methodically scrubbing the cauldrons clean as he read from a book hovering above the wash basin, the pages turning with a flick of his head.

He dropped the potions off at the hospital wing, secretly pleased that Poppy was far too busy with a floo call to a student’s parents to bother giving him more than a thankful nod and a wave of her hand. He didn’t mind their conversations, but when three students were laid up sick on starched cots, Severus preferred to be as far away from the infestation as possible.

He spent the night reading, a cup of tea in hand, the soft glow of candlelight nearby to illuminate the words of one of the books he had picked up from Diagon Alley.

Sunday morning found him sprawled out on the couch in his living quarters, fully dressed once again, with the candles snuffed and the book astray, the teacup still nestled between a cushion and his thigh.

He spent the day holed up in his office with a correcting quill, the stack of essays he kept putting off, and no less than four packets of crisps. It was dinnertime by the time he finished reading all the scrolls of parchment, his fingers cramping and eyes bleary. He had the beginning of a headache forming, but the grading was nearly caught up on.

The remainder were short-answer questions, at least.

He wasn’t sure he could sit through another stack of eighteen inch essays for at least another month.

Perhaps two.

The crisps had made him nauseous, so rather than attending dinner in the Great Hall, he flooed into the staff lounge and helped himself to his precious french press that had been left behind. As the coffee grounds soaked, he glanced around the room and took in the stockings.

There were some new additions.

There were his and Minerva’s - white, cable-knitted with fur trim, bearing their names embroidered in black thread - but also a bright blue with Filius’ initials, a pastel-pink made from crushed velvet with Pomona’s name spelled out in tiny yellow flowers, a black with silver snowflakes bearing Aurora’s family crest, and a neon orange war crime that could only belong to the headmaster.

All of them had candy canes peeking out.

There was a tree in the corner now - a tall, proud-looking noble fir - looking like an oversized houseplant when it was devoid of lights and decorations. He finished making his coffee and sat down at the round table, eyeing it carefully.

The rest of the castle was still surprisingly devoid of holiday decorations, but if this tree had already arrived, it was only a matter of time before the rest of it started creeping in. Soon enough, the place would look like a tinsel factory had exploded inside of it and the number of trees within the castle walls would put the Forbidden Forest to shame.

He scowled at the thought.

Later, he realized he had spoken too soon.

Monday morning brought a fresh shower of snowflakes, a drop in temperature, and about thirty-six douglas firs into the Great Hall. These were already decked out with lights, ribbon, and colorful baubles. Some of the trees had clearly chosen sides, cheerily standing tall with the weight of red and gold ornaments, while others were laden with green and silver, blue and bronze, or gold and black.

Garland clung to the old brick, neatly tied with red ribbon and perfect pinecones, spaced out above the portraits and high, arched windows.

He didn’t want to think about the rest of the castle.

There was white chocolate peppermint tea waiting for him at the staff table, so he conceded that not everything that morning was absolutely terrible.

Tuesday was a bad potions day.

Not for him as a brewer, of course, but as a professor.

By the time both his classes ended, eight different cauldrons had either melted, exploded, or absolutely disintegrated without a trace. He lost a full jar of moonstones because one student had decided to bring the entire fucking container to her table rather than count them out beforehand like he had advised, and it had taken all his self-control to stop himself from breaking down right in front of the class of sixth years.

He had collected those moonstones himself, wandering the Forbidden Forest all fucking night, with only a lantern to light the way. They were supposed to last him at least another two months before he would need to venture out again - and the last time he had gone out, he’d nearly sprained his ankle on an upturned root and gotten a tree branch to the fucking face.

Tuesday evening found him four drinks in, asking the house elves to please bring him some hot, salty chips from a local shop, and when the darling little elf returned with the newspaper cone, he babbled stupidly for two solid minutes from gratitude alone.

Wednesday was a headache, a blur of back-to-back classes, a lot of frustrated yelling at completely inept students, a full pot of that wonderful white chocolate peppermint tea, and a sudden decision to not assign any more homework for the rest of the year.

Not because the awful little slimeballs deserved a break, but because he did.

The elves made mushroom and wild rice soup for dinner, alongside everything else they always made, and Severus took more comfort than usual in the hot meal.

Wednesday night was his turn to patrol the castle, so he stayed up half the night wandering the empty corridors. He pulled his cloak tighter around himself as he entered the Astronomy Tower, groaning as he realized Aurora was still there, carefully packing away her supplies post-lesson.

“Oh, don’t act like you aren’t glad to see me.”

“Believe me when I say I’m not.” Severus returned, stepping to the edge and looking over the grounds. Most of it was cloaked by shadows, but the silver light from the moon was still enough to softly make out the silhouettes of the greenhouses and Hagrid’s little hut. “What, no comment on how I’m out past my bedtime?”

Aurora laughed, putting a bronze telescope back into its case and fiddling with the straps. “Not this time, no.” She glanced up at him and warned: “But don’t you ever make me miss out on family dinner again or you will regret it.”

Thursday morning he slept in.

He barely had enough time to pull on his teaching robes and run fingers through his hair before he had to hightail it to his classroom, frazzled and out of breath. He hadn’t had time to prepare the chalkboard the day before, and was quickly writing out the recipe in his messy scrawl, when the seventh years started filtering in.

“Alright, you’re going to need number three pewter cauldrons today,” he called out over his shoulder, finishing the last line of script. “Fill them with two liters of room temperature water and put your burners on low. Today we’re going to be brewing a more complex -”

“Professor?”

He scowled at the interruption. “What is it, Mr. Greenwood.”

“I think your robe might be inside out.”

He blinked and tried not to let his face flush with embarrassment. “Thank you, now as I was saying -” he continued awkwardly, shrugging out of his robe and flipping the sleeves inside out.

“Your shirt buttons are fucked up too.”

“Language!” he scolded, swallowing down the sharp coil of emotion building at the back of his throat. “And do not speak to me like that.”

“Hey, you’re the one walking in here, unprepared, with your clothes all fucked.” Greenwood muttered. “Just what were you up to before class, sir?” he grinned, his comment eliciting a few chuckles.

“Detention, Greenwood.”

“Now, wait a second!” the boy faltered.

“Do you wish to make it two?” he asked, his voice dropping an octave as he raised an eyebrow in questioning contempt. “Because we can surely arrange that.”

“No, sir.”

“Good.”

He finished the lesson on autopilot, quickly fixing the buttons on his shirt in the supply closet, fingers shaking nervously as he muttered angrily to himself. He shrugged back into his robes, double-checking they weren’t inside out again, and downed a calming draught on a whim - the shiny light blue bottle catching his eye from its place on the shelf - before returning to his desk.

He made sure to scowl at each of them in turn and surprisingly enough, not another student made an unwarranted comment about his appearance, his teaching, or even each other. It kept him from reaching for another calming draught when he felt its effects lifting.

Friday found him having a panic attack.

Then again, if no one opened the door to the broom closet he had squandered in, if no one came face-to-face with his crouched down, fingers tangled in his hair, not-quite-yet-out-of-breath, full body trembling self, could anyone really prove he was having an anxiety attack?

He’d barely made it through his second class and had dismissed the second years twenty minutes early, sans homework - and oh, Merlin, they were going to think he'd gone soft - before attempting to return to his personal quarters.

It didn’t quite work out as planned.

His knees had felt shaky and he’d felt as if something were gripping at his throat, pressing down on his lungs, and he had to sit down and ground himself before he had a full-on breakdown in the middle of the corridor. He’d found himself stumbling, as he hid behind the closest doorway, the tidal wave of unchecked emotions too much.

His resolve was breaking.

He tried to focus on his Occlumency shields, tried to push back the unfiltered pain and fear he refused to think about - could not think about - because if he did, he was afraid he would never be able to function again. He was afraid he would break.

The dam was already broken though and now, now the rest of it felt inevitable.

Now he was simply gasping for breath, tears welling in his eyes that he refused to let fall, sitting on the floor of a dusty broom closet, bathed in the dull yellow light that flared whenever it sensed movement, like some sort of spotlight - a beacon honing in on him, existing solely to put his downfall on display.

Far too many thoughts were flitting around his head, crashing into each other and making it difficult to tell them apart, to pinpoint just what had been the trigger, the reason behind his weakness - because surely, that’s what this was right now: weakness.

Footsteps sounded in the corridor and he tried his best to muffle his ragged gasps, hand curled into a fist and pressed into his mouth, teeth sinking into the pale flesh, threatening to break through from the force he was using, so desperate he was to not make a sound.

It didn’t work.

The footsteps paused, their owner faltering.

Voices were speaking from the other side, hushed and mumbled, and with another stroke of panic, Severus realized they belonged to more than one. Students, most likely, and he curled tighter into himself, vehemently wishing for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

“Are you okay?” a hesitant voice traveled through the aged wood.

He didn’t answer, but he figured his breaths were answer enough.

“Are you having a panic attack?” a different voice called out, sounding just as unsure as the first. “It sounds like you’re really struggling.”

“Do you need help?”

“They probably can’t answer, dummy.” a third voice spoke up, but this one wasn’t addressing him. They were all familiar, but his brain wasn’t letting him process anything to fruition. “Hey, if you can hear us knock on the door.”

He considered ignoring them, but in the end he knocked.

“Good!” the first voice praised. “Alright, knock if we were right about the panic attack.”

Again, he knocked.

“Do you want help?” the second student asked. “I’ve helped my share of students through these.” He suddenly recognized Casper Jenkin’s voice, one of his seventh year Slytherin prefects.

He groaned; as if this situation could get any worse.

“I’m gonna take that as a no.” Oliver Greenwood’s voice muttered, so apparently yes, it could get worse. He was stumbled upon by his own snakes - and his disrespecting seventh years, at that.

“Do you want us to get someone?” Allison Bone, the original speaker, questioned. “Madam Pomfrey or your Head of House? If you’re all the way down here, you’re probably a Slytherin, huh?”

He choked out a laugh at that.

“Laughing!” Bone approved. “Laughing is good! That means you’re getting control of your breathing. The worst part of it is over now.”

“I’m going to open the door, okay?” Jenkin told him, and the doorknob started turning. “It’s probably pretty cramped in there - definitely won’t help.”

“Don’t!” he let out, just as the door opened and he found himself blinking up at his snakes, the three of them blinking down at him, equally dumbfounded, and he wanted to scream at whatever joke of a higher being had shifted the cards enough to lead him here.

“Oh!”

“Professor Snape?!”

He lifted a shaky hand to his face, brushing back disheveled locks of hair. “Get out.” he whispered, low and angry, not caring about the semantics that it technically didn’t apply.

“Are you sure you don’t need -” Bone started, then faltered at the growing expression on his face. “Right, we’re leaving.”

Greenwood eyed him a second longer than his companions, but rather than the teasing glint he usually held whenever addressing him in class, he wore something softer. “Sorry.” he mouthed, genuine concern flickering for a brief moment before he also left.

He put his head in his hands and started laughing, softly at first, but when it became an ugly sob, he fought to regain his composure, nails digging into his scalp.

He managed a deep breath, wiped his face on the sleeve of his robe, and hurried to his personal quarters. He was moving on autopilot now, slipping out of his teaching robes and into a jumper, grabbing a bit of floo powder and calling out a quiet, “may I come through?” when the flames turned a brilliant green.

He stepped into Minerva’s quarters, bypassing her concerned look and collapsed onto the old couch, pointedly ignoring her as he stared at the vaulted ceiling.

“Severus?”

“Panic attack.” he mumbled.

He remained silent after that, listening to the rustling of parchment and paper, the soft scribbling of a quill nib making its way across the page. For a few minutes, that was the only sound, until suddenly Minerva stood up and opened up the floo. Hushed voices followed, then silence, and he finally sat up when he heard the distinct pop of a house elf apparating into the room.

Dorset, one of the school elves most identifiable by his height, was balancing a tray on one hand and a heavy-looking box on the other. He placed both on the kitchen table, nodded at the two, and apparated away.

“What’s this?” Severus asked, his voice gravelly and tired, as he stood up and approached the table.

The box was filled with an assortment of items - butter, eggs, icing sugar, flour, and the like. He could see a bag full of dirigible plums sitting right on top and he smiled despite himself. The tray was holding two ceramic mugs, their contents hidden by the mountain of whipped cream and cinnamon they were topped with.

“Sit down with me.” Minerva said simply, picking up the tray and bringing it to the couch. She sat down at one end, placing the cups on the coffee table, and waited. When he sat down, facing her, she handed him a warm mug. “I asked for hot chocolate.” she told him, eyeing him carefully. “Specifically the gingerbread one we had last week.”

“I liked that one.” Severus mumbled, staring down at his cup.

“I know.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, sipping on their hot chocolate, and Severus could feel his anxiety slowly ebb away as it was replaced by warm comfort.

“You look awful.” she finally spoke up.

He smiled ruefully, but it felt more like a grimace. “I appreciate the honesty.”

“Have you noticed, how every time you experience feelings of distress, someone always tends to interrupt before we can talk?” she asked, watching him. “I think we’ve been putting it off long enough, don’t you think?”

“No.”

“We never got to talk about Yaxley.”

“We didn’t need to.”

“We also never finished our conversation about how you ask for my company whenever you venture out of the castle.”

Severus gripped his mug tightly. “You said enough.”

“You still flinch when people touch you.”

“Can you blame me?”

Minerva paused, studying him in a way that left him feeling exposed. “They’re all connected.”

He kept silent.

Her next words were unexpected. “What about Lily?”

“What about her?” he growled out, anger taking hold and manifesting into shaking hands. He swallowed down the bile he could feel rising, the taste of milk and chocolate suddenly acrid on his tongue.

“You never talk about her.”

“That’s because I don’t have anything to say about her!” Severus finally yelled, nearly dropping his mug. He set it on the coffee table and balled his hands into fists, refusing to break eye contact with the professor before him. “Lily died four years ago, but she stopped being my friend long before that! Do you want to talk about the guilt I carry, knowing it was my fault she died? Because no amount of talking, nothing I do will ever be enough to make up for the fact that I killed my best friend! And I hate myself for that, but Merlin, do I hate her too.”

“Do you?”

“Yes!” he burst out, the words he could never dare himself to say aloud now slipping off his tongue without trouble. “She was my best friend and then she sided with them, with him, after what he did to me! And that’s when I knew she was never really my friend! She saw what he - what he did,” he was starting to gasp for air again, “and she still, she - he -”

He focused on steadying his breathing, arms wrapped around his torso.

“I don’t.” Severus finally amended, in such a soft voice he wasn’t sure it even carried. “I want to hate her so much - and I am so angry at her, angrier than I’ve ever been at anyone - but I don’t hate her. I can’t. Maybe I wasn’t her friend, in the end, but I know she was mine. I lost so many people in the war, but she’s the one who hurts the most, so no, I don’t want to talk about Lily.”

Minerva hummed. “You sort of already did.”

He scowled.

“Drink your hot chocolate before it gets cold.”

Some of his anger fizzled out as he finished the drink. When they were done, Minerva stood up and started pulling out the contents of the box, lining them up on the counter. He joined her, watching as she leafed through a cookbook he hadn’t noticed.

“We’re going to do some holiday baking now.”

“Are we?”

“If you’re not going to talk to me about what led to all this,” she gestured in his general direction, “then we’re going to bake some things for the staff party tomorrow.”

He nodded, sighing. “Where do you want me?”

They spent a few minutes in stilted silence, as he washed the bag of dirigible plums and cooked them down into a sauce, stirring in ground cardamom and honey. Meanwhile, Minerva whisked double cream and cornstarch with vanilla sugar and salt, the pot resting over low flames. He added the plum sauce and smiled as it came together and turned into the warm orange color he remembered.

“What next?” he inquired, after the thickened mix had been poured into a mold and tucked away in the cold cupboard.

“Biscuits?”

The sugar dough came together easily enough, pale yellow and perfectly smooth, and as they sprinkled flour over the table to roll it out, Severus started fiddling with the holiday cutters.

“I can hear you thinking.” Minerva spoke up a few minutes later, dusting her hands off on a clean towel. She reached for a tree-shaped cutter and started pressing it into the dough. “Are you ready to talk now?”

“I have nothing to say.”

“Sure you don’t.”

They finished cutting out all their shapes, moved their biscuits into the oven, and cleaned off the kitchen table. Minerva was opening small jars of sprinkles while Severus whisked together icing sugar and egg whites. He focused on dividing the royal icing into small bowls, adding droplets of colored dye and stirring carefully as if they were a temperamental potion, when he finally broached the earlier subject: “They are all connected.”

“Pardon?”

He didn’t look up, merely repeated himself. “They’re all connected.”

Minerva pulled the baking tray out of the oven and cast a cooling charm before bringing the perfectly baked biscuits to the table. Severus picked one up and absentmindedly broke it into pieces. He shared it with Min and picked up another biscuit, carefully dipping this one into the bowl of red icing and shaking off the excess.

He reached for the star sprinkles. “I try not to think about any of it.”

“You’ll have to, eventually.”

He thought about the broom closet. “I know.”

Minerva dipped a star biscuit into the bowl of yellow icing and handed it over to Severus, who immediately covered it with three different colors of sprinkles. They worked in tandem for a few minutes, dipping and sprinkling all their biscuits, and eventually a spoon was introduced to their project and Severus found himself drizzling thin stripes across some of them.

“I’m giving this one a Dreadful.” Minerva decided, picking up what was supposed to be an ornament, originally dipped in white icing, but then covered with uneven globs of blue.

“Fair enough.” Severus shrugged, levitating the dirty dishes and moving them to the wash basin, spelling the water on. He picked up a candy cane-shape that had been rolled in yellow and violet sprinkles and then drizzled with green. “This one, however, is deserving of a Troll.”

Minerva spelled the dishes to wash themselves and then raised an eyebrow at him. “Severus, you decorated that one.”

“I’m aware.”

The yule log cake was a little more time consuming to make. He sat down at the table and watched Minerva separate eggs and whisk the whites with sugar until it foamed.

“It would be faster if you spelled the whisk.” Severus offered.

“We tried that once.” Minerva laughed, not slowing down. “It worked great at first, but all of a sudden, the whisk was flinging meringue all over the room.”

“How delightful.”

Meringue was light and shiny and the brightest white he could imagine. Min filled a piping bag with the foam and showed him how to pipe little mushroom tops on the baking paper. When he took the bag from her, he was surprised to find it bore no weight.

“Do you not know how to hold a piping bag?”

“Evidently not.” he grumbled, looking at his hand and the fluff of meringue that had spilled out of the bag and over his hand.

“You’re supposed to hold the end closed, you numpty.”

“Numpty?” Severus muttered under his breath.

“Elphinstone always did the same thing.” Minerva shook her head, fixing the bag and finishing the job. “No matter how many times I corrected him, that man couldn’t hold it right. Always went off about how he’s the ministry liaison for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Min, I don’t need piping meringue mushrooms in my skill set.” She took in a shaky breath and set down the bag. “See? Perfect.”

“Min-”

“Don’t just stand there, Severus.” she scolded, thrusting the cookbook in his hands. “Get to work measuring the dry ingredients. You can make the cake while I make the frostings.”

He started sifting flour and cocoa powder. “It’s okay to miss him, you know.”

“Of course I know that.” she humphed, putting the tray in the oven and spelling the dishes clean. She unwrapped a stick of butter and stared at him. “Do you know that?”

“Minerva, I only met your husband twice.” he deadpanned.

She flicked a bit of icing sugar at him. “Don’t be smart with me. I’m not the one repressing all my emotions and pretending they don’t exist until I can’t stave off the impending panic attack and end up crashing in my colleague's quarters because of it.”

“Fine, you win this one.” he muttered. “You are the pinnacle of mental health, professor.”

“Excellent.” Minerva grinned, but her smile seemed a little bitter. “Does this mean you’re going to talk to me now?”

“No.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Numpty.” she repeated.

---- a/n: i was in the mood for angst tm also the ending feels a little rushed but it is 3am rip. im not gonna finish this series by christmas but my goal is new years. time exists in a vacuum anyway and is not real. ps. let me know what you think pls!! it gives me all the seratonin

#snapedom #pro snape #snapemas #snoliday2020 #severus snape #professor snape #snapecember #holiday writing challenge

43 notes · View notes

astudyinfreewill · 3 years

Text

look what you made me do || 1/?

aka: me making taylor swift songs about dean winchester and/or deancas bc it’s what dean himself would want

(i will be keeping track of these with a masterpost, just in case i need to find them again or someone enjoys seeing me go hogwild on lyric analysis, lol. also, there’s a wee treat at the end of the post!)

and without further ado, our first tswift x dean song is...

the archer

combat, i'm ready for combat i say i don't want that, but what if i do?

we start off with an extremely obvious line: dean winchester is always ready for combat - he’s been trained all his life to essentially be a soldier/vigilante figure, an ultimate warrior of sorts. the thing is... he doesn’t want to. when dean is left to his own devices, without his father to order him around or a Big Bad to spur him on, what he chooses to do is is cook for his loved ones, have movie nights with them, play music, tinker with parts to build something new. at his core dean is kind, and full of care for others, and his deepest fear is that he truly IS nothing more than just a killer or a weapon - hence the ‘but what if i do’.

'cause cruelty wins in the movies i've got a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you

‘the movies’ here is just shorthand for everything he’s witnessed happening around him in real life. as far as dean’s experience goes, cruelty does win. why believe in softness and kindness when your father has taught you that either of those things is a weakness, and the world simply doesn’t care?

as for the second line, well. you can guess what THAT’s about. dean feels so deeply, but really struggles to verbalise his feelings, often brushing them off until he explodes. we usually see him at his most vulnerable while praying to cas, but even then, you get the sense that he’s holding back on so much. (“cas, i need to say something--” “you don’t need to say it, dean.” so it goes, so it goes.)

easy they come, easy they go i jump from the train, i ride off alone i never grew up, it's getting so old help me hold onto you

a few points here: “i jump from the train” could easily be a callback to dean’s impulsive self-sacrificing ways, and “i never grew up” underlines how he never got the chance to evolve and grow into himself because he got essentially stuck in the “child parenting another child” role. sure, he had to be a mother and a father to sam, so in some ways he grew up really fast; in others, he was stuck as an insecure teenager, because he never got the opportunity for healthy emotional growth himself.

and of course, “easy they come, easy they go” is a tragically accurate representation of dean’s most devastating insecurity: that everyone he loves eventually leaves him. mary died, john was constantly absent, cassie broke up with him when he tried to tell her the truth, sam left him behind for college, and then, of course, there’s cas... who just. keeps. leaving, one way or another, and dean just desperately wants him to stay - which also ties into “help me hold on to you”. the irony of it all, of course, is that dean wants castiel to choose not to leave, whereas castiel desperately wants to be asked to stay; and ain’t that just a fucking tragedy.

i've been the archer, i've been the prey who could ever leave me, darling? (but who could stay?)

the first line is pretty self-explanatory: dean has been both aggressor and victim, both literally and emotionally. he’s a fearsome hunter who gets hunted down by monsters in turn; and he’s lashed out and pushed people away, while getting his heart broken in return too.

but it’s the second part that really strikes me as a dean line, because the first half - “who could ever leave me, darling?” - is the bravado that dean wears like a mask. charming smile, a flirty wink, swagger in like you own the place, “i think i’m adorable”, “i’m a joy to be around”, etc. but the second part... that’s the whisper of truth behind it. for all that dean can turn the charm on and put on a brave face, he’s thoroughly convinced that he’s not worth sticking around for.

dark side, i search for your dark side but what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?

so, can you say trust issues? remember how long it took for dean to believe an angel could be on his side, and then how deeply he came to trust cas? and remember how heartbroken he was when castiel betrayed them in s6, and how that heartbreak was covered up with anger when cas came back? yet, no matter how many twists and turns they go through, inevitably, dean ends up trusting cas with his life - he’s not only the definition of a ride-or-die, but he also trusts him in smaller, more intimate ways, such as letting down his guard and allowing himself to be vulnerable only around him, or praying to him for comfort as much as guidance.

and i cut off my nose just to spite my face then hate my reflection for years and years

...but because of those trust issues, and because of dean’s deeply entrenched abandonment issues as mentioned above, often dean ends up reacting to things more harshly than is needed, by lashing out in anger and pushing people away (or, in more than one occasion, through the infamous silent treatment). but we also know he immediately regrets it, because it ends up hurting him just as much, if not more. basically this correlates to his speech from 15x09 about his anger issues.

i wake in the night, i pace like a ghost the room is on fire, invisible smoke and all of my heroes died all alone help me hold onto you

there’s also the fact that having attachments as a hunter isn’t exactly safe, and comes with a shitton of fear of losing people - or remorse and regret when you do lose them. “the room is on fire, invisible smoke” - i can only imagine dean would still have nightmares of that fateful night when he was 4 years old and his mother burned alive on a ceiling (and so: “i wake in the night, i pace like a ghost). as for his heroes dying alone... mary. john. ellen. jo. ash. kevin. charlie. the list stretches way too long. it’s only natural he’d be afraid of losing cas too... especially since he’s already died multiple times, and dean has mourned him more and more devastatingly each time.

i've been the archer, i've been the prey screaming “who could ever leave me, darling”-- but who could stay?

the same concept as the previous chorus, except that here the façade of confidence and swagger comes off almost as desperate (screaming “who could ever leave me”). but then we know overcompensating is kinda dean’s thing.

'cause they see right through me, they see right through me they see right through me -- can you see right through me? they see right through me, they see right through me i see right through me, i see right through me

and we circle back to dean’s constant fear of being found worthless, damaged, and unlovable. no matter how much bravado he puts on, his actual self-worth is close to non-existent, so of course he’d feel like a fraud, and it makes sense he’d fear other people seeing through his act, or wonder if they do - can cas see right through him? because dean himself certainly isn’t buying his own lies.

all the king's horses, all the king's men couldn't put me together again 'cause all of my enemies started out friends help me hold onto you

the first line just... hurts me a lot. i guess it’s the nursery rhyme sound of it, almost trying to take the bite of a statement which is, essentially: i’m broken beyond repair. as i said above, dean’s not buying his own lies, he knows exactly how much baggage and trauma he carries. and not to go back to the trust issues again, but it is hard to believe someone could see past that when there’s so much betrayal in your history (which, yes, has included cas at one point too, as well as sam, or, say, fucking chuck).

i've been the archer, i've been the prey who could ever leave me, darling? (but who could stay?) who could stay? who could stay? you could stay, you could stay...

and then... we have the third repeat of the chorus, which echoes the first, softer version of it, but with a fundamental difference. this time, the rhetorical question “who could stay?” finds a pointed answer in “you could stay”. because yes, maybe cas leaves a lot, but he always, always comes back. so i’d imagine dean harbours hope that one day, maybe, cas will want to actually... stay for good.

combat, i'm ready for combat

and that hope kinda gives this final line a whole new lovely layer of meaning: dean’s no longer ready for combat just because he’s been trained for combat all his life; rather, he’s ready for combat because for once in his life, he has something to look forward to; something to fight for: the happy ending he deserves, where someone - perhaps someone in a dirty trenchcoat and tired blue eyes - will finally stay.

---

BONUS: literally the day after i started obsessing over this song as a dean song, i found a fanvid of it! if that’s not serendipitous, i don’t know what is <3

#spn #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #taylor swift #meta #mp #long post for ts #uuh how else to tag this #tswift x dean winchester #??? that sounds like a ship #anyway. i know there's been some interest in this so hopefully it doesn't disappoint #and if you wanna be tagged in these/suggest songs lmk!!!#lwymmd

35 notes · View notes

lollybliz · 4 years

Text

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights. Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm. “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

#fic rec #bnha #mha #tododeku #todobakudeku #kiribaku #shinkami #shindeku #erasermic #To Be Continued

304 notes · View notes

smallest-turtle · 3 years

Note

For the soft ask-meme, 🍁 🌺 🌼 🌠 for Deidre?

Thank you so much!!! I'm doin this off of mobile rather than waiting until I'm on my computer tomorrow afternoon so if there's any weird mistakes my auto-correct is wack on this old thing u.u.

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

Deidre kind of has two places, depending on where in the story we are. She has an apartment in the Lavender Beds that she got before the end of 2.0, where she goes initially to avoid the Scions, but later it's also an alternative plan when she doesn't want to encounter anyone; she and Alisaie go there rather than Fortemps Manor after they find out Caelen got called like the other scions. Her other place is her room at Fortemps Manor, which she frequents more often. Even after the scions began to focus on the Ala Mhigan resistance, the household never really. Turned it back into a guest room, they just stopped thinking of it as one. And then she's adopted so it Stays her room. As for an outdoor place she has a greenhouse on the manor grounds where she's trying to breed hardier decorative plants for Ishgard's new climate. A certain someone deserves to rest in a garden.

🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

Deidre is unfortunately skilled at pushing down and ignoring her emotions, especially 'negative' ones like fear. Being afraid isn't productive for her, being scared won't make them stop calling her the warrior of light, feeling it doesn't change anything so she doesn't take the time to. Once they are further along in their relationship and share a bed regularly, Alisaie will hold and reassure her if she wakes up, and try to get her to face her emotions instead. She does also have a comfort item. She has a stuffed Chocobo that Sid and Rielle got her while she was recovering from the final steps of faith. She's yellow and her name is Tulip.

🌼 Who are this characters friends and found family? How did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? What do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?

Found family: the Fortemps, Sid and Rielle, E-Sumi-Yan and Sylphie, Alphinaud (slowburn, ends in siblings-in-law^2), Estinien, the Chais, Feo Ul, X'rhun and Arya, Ryne [fucked up and cursed edition: emet selch, lahabrea]

Friends: Arenvald (met when he began assisting her in primal fights during the 2.x patches), Aymeric, Yugiri, Lyse, Ysayle, all 5.0 role quest npcs, Ardbert, MCH crew, Francel, Lucia, A-Towa-Cant, Esteem [fucked up and evil edition: Zenos after 4th LW, and to a lesser degree from 4.1 on, Fordola]

Everyone but Arenvald follows canon meeting conditions. There are several characters who would consider her a friend that by her own standards she does not consider herself close to, and also some characters who see her as a younger sister figure that are similarly missing. Alisaie is a different tier because they are dating.

She tends to be friends with the people who fight by her side, rather than assuming she can handle everything for them herself due to her title and achievements. Those who call her her name, people who discuss things other than primals and politics with her. Most other people are more. Work associates. Than friends.

She was never really Looking for a romantic partner, but she has had several crushes and is ultimately in a relationship with Alisaie after Esteem makes her bite the bullet in Doma and get her feelings out there. Specific traits all her interests tend to have in common are dependability, an energetic nature, and no-nonsense ways of dealings with things. She likes that Alisaie is hard working and sticks to her guns, even if their respective stubbornness clashes horribly when they're of different minds about something important (stubborn hope vs. preparing for the light to turn her). Alisaie is also very expressive of her emotions, which is something Deidre needs help with.

🌠 On a scale of 1 - 10 how Baby is your OC?

Asdfghkjkl parentalized eldest daughter doesn't get to be baby DX. Over all she's about a 2. Haurchefant and Thancred, who have seen and helped to some degrees her recover from various illness/injury, would put her at like a 5. Lahabrea puts her at a 7 (derogatory) she's so fucking stupid.

Tangerine, aka Deidre but an orange cat (courtesy of Feo Ul's shape shifting gift) is full 10/10 baby time.

#anon #deidre hunt #ffxiv #wolxalisaie #prompts #ask #my post #alisaie leveilleur #ffxiv oc #oc asks #text

9 notes · View notes

filmmakerdreamst · 4 years

Text

‘Boy Meets World’ Re-watch (as an Adult)

‘Girl Meets World’ doesn’t count as a sequel. Not because of the writing/tonal choices but because in the original show - despite continuity issues - the characters felt like real people e.g. the way they spoke/acted/dressed was the way people behaved in the 90s where as in the spin off, they were Disney characters e.g. hyper versions of themselves especially Cory and Eric. And the transition between both shows didn’t come naturally. It’s not an objectivity badly written show but it was pretty much a re-do of the old show with the same storylines/tropes without continuing the story. (I say the same thing about ‘The Incredibles’. vs ‘Incredibles 2’.) Also there were too many cooks in the kitchen pushing one way or another. You could see Micheal Jacobs style, all the aspects were there, but he was also creating a ‘DISNEY’ show at the same time. I don’t know about you but the one message I took from the original show was ‘finding out that life cannot be packenged into a lovely little present ’ which kind of contradicts everything that the new show is. If anything GMW is an AU universe (and it really felt like that, rewatching it right after BMW e.g. it felt flipped) almost like Disney’s version of ‘what happened next?’ The primal difference between both shows is BMW is portraying what is real and GMW is based on what is real.

Going off my point, I will however be always thankful that it exists because I probably wouldn’t of found out about ‘Boy Meets World’ otherwise. Although saying that, I never thought that the original show needed a continuation of any kind (a lot of things make sense about the spin off if you acknowledge that Disney requested it - I think it would of been much better off on its original platform) ‘Boy Meets World’ was very much a product of its time i.e. when tv shows were still relevetivley new and had no rules - like there is stuff in there that not even adult shows today have. Plus there was something about it that felt very personal (such as the characters and setting) as if the creator based it on his own childhood growing up and I think that was part of its charm and why it had such a big effect on pop culture - I’m not so sure you can repeat that.

BMW is big on meta I’ll tell you that. I love how it’s so aware of itself. The amount of depth that it has never ceases to amaze me. It’s whole universe is so dense and huge. Every quote/storyline is so unique it sticks in your brain forever. (I swear the humour got more and more deranged every season). The show was also incredibly queer and progressive. It didn’t give a crap about sexuality. Much more than I remember. Proof to never use ‘but it was made in the 90s’ excuse.

I loved how the show kept reinventing itself every season as Cory grew up so you really felt you were growing up with him and all the characters. The Character Development on this show was so natural/authentic. Every single character got a chance to shine. No one changed their look in one episode and no one had an intervention every time someone had an identity crisis (GMW) My favourite development was Shawn Hunter. He went from a cool kid to a ladies man to a poetic soul. It was so satisfying to watch.

I realised that Cory Matthews is actually my favourite character (before it was Eric or Shawn) I already have a special soft spot for ‘annoying’ characters because they tend to be the most memorable/real. For example, Karma Ashcroft from ‘Faking it’ was my babe while everyone was hating on her. I really related to his anxiety/self hatred about being average and I loved that he constantly made mistakes. It was very refreshing. He’s also incredibly queer-coded. I found that alot of his mannerisms make sense if you see him with extreme compulsory heterosexuality (because identity’s such as bisexual or gay couldn’t exist normally in the 90s) There are moments in the show where he literally mimics his best friend’s behaviour around girls e.g. when the class pretty much gets brainwashed by the sex ed video in ‘Boy Meets Girl’ Shawn gets asked out by a girl, making Cory jealous - which pushes him to ask out Topanga.

It’s funny how a few years of life experience can change perspectives completely because when I was sixteen (aka the same age as Cory and Topanga) watching BMW for the first time, I was mad at Amy for ‘not understanding that they were in love’ (in ‘A Walk to Pittsburg’) but now that I’m older I’m actually agreeing with her. Yeah, what do they know about love? Because all season long they were acting quite superficially.

Cory and Topanga became somewhat of a toxic couple in seasons 5 -7. Reminded me of my parents relationship because my mum gave up her chosen university to be closer to my dad and they aren’t together any more. Topanga’s love for Cory was very conditional and Cory cheated on her multiple times/openly begged for sex (Again like my parents) And you should never be in a relationship with someone who makes you say “You make me think not so very much of myself” There are arguably much more signs of emotional abuse than love in their relationship especially from Topanga’s side. Plus their story was altered so many times to give it more basis (they retconned Shawn and Cory’s friendship to do this) I could write an essay on how Kevin and Winnie’s love story on ‘The Wonder Years’ is much more believable because it actually addresses how toxic it was and they grow apart in the end. If GMW was a realistic continuation, they would be divorced with a little girl - leave them in the 90s where they belong.

Alan and Amy were couple goals! Cory and Topanga wish that they could have what they have. Literally the definition of ‘a healthy relationship on tv that keeps thriving and over coming obstacles without big drama’. Best TV parents ever.

I loved the Matthews family; how they all had individual arcs and developments of their own. One of my favourite arcs was in season 5, when Eric and Cory were both jealous of what they ‘didn’t have’ with their dad, so Alan made an effort to give them both that they needed. Honestly, I had never seen so much healthy communication on TV before. Alan is the best father around. His whole personal arc of giving up managing a supermarket because he wasn’t passsionate about it anymore and buying a mountain store was so inspired. I found it funny that the family had more of a relationship with Shawn than Topanga.

Shawn Hunter never caught a break. It got a bit tiring. He was never allowed to be happy for five minutes. Every time he laughed or smiled, 5 years were added onto my lifespan. Why didn’t Johnathan Turner adopt him? I loved their dynamic. Why did he let him go back to his abusive father who just dumped him anyway?

Jack and Shawn’s complicated dynamic was possibly the most unique/interesting arc of the entire show and no one talks about it. I don’t care what y’all say - despite them being very different, Jack was the only one who fully took care of Shawn without second thoughts (Turner and the Matthews family had doubts)

I liked Shawn and Angela. I thought they were much better suited than Cory and Topanga. I honestly wouldn’t of minded if they ended up together even though I always had a feeling they wouldn’t. (Like I’m glad she went with her dad in the end) And considering how important they were as a interracial couple in the 90s, GMW handled that very poorly.

Shawn and Cory should of ended up together. And before you come at me with ‘it’s important to have m/m friendships without toxic masculinity’ (which is an important arguement to have) - yeah no shit there’s an entire Industry based around that/pitting women against each other. While it is important to have those friendships between men that are close and even intimate (take Chandler and Joey, Schmidt and Nick, Isak and Jonas and Jake and Charles for example) there was also another layer to their relationship which the narrative played off sometimes as them “going out” or “in love”. I actually recently found out that a writer - who came into the show in season 3 - confirmed that she wrote gay undertones into their relationship on purpose ‘In my opinion as a writer, they thought they were “straight”, they both didn’t realise or understand their feelings for eachother’ but couldn’t deliever because the producers wanted to keep the show “kid friendly”. Kind of like Xena and Gabby. I know people prefer Jack & Eric (I love them as well) but everything got ruined for me as soon as they introduced the ‘love triangle’ and I always tend to prefer emotional tension over sexual. They were just so unconditional with each other/ their friendship was so good and healthy and now I’m so bitter that it never happened.

I never understood why Shawn and Cory had to stop being best friends after he got married. He’s not Topanga’s property. I always hated how Topanga tried to interrupt/interfere with their dynamic — although now I realise it was because the two of them purposely left her out. Looking back at it, If it really was just a intimate friendship then why would she get so easily jealous if she didn’t sense there was something else deeper going on? You should never marry someone who puts you second.

I didn’t like Topanga when she was with Cory (or vice versa) Especially after they got married. She was a great character on her own. Feminist before her time. Hermione Granger before her time. I always felt she deserved a lot better than him in a way e.g. if someone I considered a friend speard a rumour around high school that we slept together - I would never speak to that person again. SHE SHOULD OF GONE TO YALE GOD DAMN IT. And as someone pointed out the other day, if the roles were reversed some of the stuff she does or says to Cory would be considered domestic violence. ‘She’s always blaming Cory on shit that isn't even his fault or makes him feel bad or shuts down his emotions and turns it around so he's comforting her instead.’ There was even a moment in GMW (not that I consider that show a continuation) where she locks him out the house for a few days after he insulted her chicken, and his son Auggie had to bring him spaghetti. If Cory was a woman, that would not be played off as a joke - that would be considered abuse. They were however a better couple in GMW ironically.

Angela Moore is now one of my favourite characters on BMW. She was beautiful. Her friendship with Rachel (and Topanga) was the best. And I frickin’ loved her and Cory’s friendship development - when they could of easily not played into that. I hate that she got villiaized in GMW.

My favourite seasons are 4, 5 & 1. My least favourites are 3 & 2 & 7. And even then the show was still pretty darn good.

The back and fourth clash between Turner and Mr Feeny in season 2 was very entertaining.

Mr Feeny and Eric are my favourite relationship on ‘Boy Meets World’. I love how Eric was the only person that Feeny directly told that he loved him. Also, why didn’t Eric become the new Mr Feeny? He showed more traits of becoming a teacher in the show than Cory did.

Eric and Tommy was probably the most heartbreaking plot line in season 6. (That season was an emotional train wreck) I cried for a fourth time. The world doesn’t deserve him.

I loved the development of Shawn and Topanga’s friendship. Even though there was a silent competition over Cory, they eventually became good friends. I found out that the song ‘She will be loved’ was inspired by them which is awesome but it’s also proof that people ship for less if it’s an m/f dynamic - just sayin’. I however see a more convincing potiental romance with the two of them than Cory and Topanga sometimes.

On Cory and Topanga again - they weren’t a bad couple overall. I liked them in s1 - 3. They had some great moments. But upon my rewatch (getting out of that 90s idealised headspace) I found them to be too similar at times - chafing as another person put it - to the point where they cancel each other out. A lot of people pointed out that Riley and Maya paralleled them and I was thinking “That’s not nesserily a good thing.”

‘Dream. Try. Do good.’ is on my mantelpiece.

202 notes · View notes

cartoonfangirl1218 · 3 years

Text

Happy Birthday @missnnobodius!

Happy Birthday @missnnobodius aka Georgia aka the Warrior Princess aka Art Queen of my heart! Just like your drawings, you get better and better every year. It's been a wild ride and your este rants and headcanons always brighten my day as well as your artwork which simultaneously hurts me and melts my heart. Your reverse AU is genius and I can't wait to see whatever else comes from you. Like new story perhaps 😁😁 Anyway, I'm so blessed to have gotten to meet you and fangirl and speculate on esteparents and quote musicals with you, and I only hope that this upcoming year is filled with sucess, prosperity and happiness as you deserve.

So something that I don't think I've done before, but I humbly hope you will enjoy. Estenaomi ship meme hcs!

Who steals the other’s food? Esteban does because he sometimes has an insatiable sweet tooth. Naomi usually lets him because it allows her ample reason to retaliate by stealing his food too.

Who shamelessly cheats at games? Neither. They take it much too seriously to cheat. Though occasionally Naomi screws with Esteban if she thinks he needs to be taken down a peg.

Who accidentally pulls the door instead of pushing? Esteban, like the flustered dork he is when he gets distracted by Naomi.

Who starts the tickle fights? Naomi mainly because she adores the unmanly giggle which she finds adorable despite his best efforts not to.

Who starts the pillow fights? Esteban does. In the rare reversal when Naomi is in mega-workaholic work mode and needs to be distracted for the sake of her sanity.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines? Esteban does. He has the Flores family pun gene after all. His are usually more sea-related for his favorite sea captain. Naomi can’t help but find it endearing.

Who plays with the other’s hair? Naomi does.Especially with his floppy upswoop before it returns to normal.

Who arranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order? Esteban does. Everything has its proper place. Naomi eventually picks up his habit.

Who licks the spoon when they are baking? Esteban, again, he has the sweet tooth.

Who massages the other? They take turns. Like if Naomi has a particularly hard knot in her back, which Esteban obliges because he is a gentleman and softie who always jumps on the chance to make her feel better. She usually falls asleep after his massages. Naomi does the same though hers is a bit less skilled and Esteban often forgoes continuing it to more amorous activities.

Who buys candles for dinner even if there isn’t a special occasion? Esteban does because everything in their relationship is like a milestone to him.

Who is the most affectionate? Both in their own way. Naomi is mre like high fives and nose boops and pulling him onto the dance floor. More enthusiastic, can come across as platonic. But it is special between them. Just like how their banter doesn't really contain vitriol. Esteban is more traditional with hand holding and cuddling since he missed physical affection so much.

Who is most likely to carry the other? Esteban carries Naomi usually bridal style even though she can do things herself thank you very much. But she likes the attention.

Favorite physical feature of their partner? Naomi loves Esteban’s eyes. She loves how expressive he is. His fierceness, his strength, his softness, his playful eye roll etc. They’re all there. And the special tender look he has just for her. She melts. Esteban likes Naomi’s arms. Like her they are strong, safe, protecting, can handle anything. Not to mention her hands are good at massages.

Who initiates kisses? Naomi.

Who kisses harder? Naomi, she really puts a lot of pent up emotion into her kiss, it takes Esteban's breath away.

Who worries the most? Esteban worries about things like his own guilt that he is not good enough, that he doesn't deserve it etc. As confident as he is, he fears he will sabotage it somehow.

Who reaches for the other’s hand first? Esteban

Who starts food fights? Naomi. Sometimes the urge to throw food at Esteban when he is being arrogant and condescending is too much.

Who wakes up first? Naomi does since she is used to waking up early to start loading up the docks.

Who wants to stay in bed? Esteban. He needs his beauty sleep. And his siesta sleep.

Who gets the other to dance? Both do. Esteban loves having her in his arms as they waltz in the ballroom. And Naomi also likes to dip him to the ground which never fails to awe him.

Who cooks more? Naomi. She's used to sharing cooking duties with her parents while at sea. While Esteban is sort of used to waking up and the food is prepared. Who whispers inappropriate things at inappropriate times? Esteban. The flores genes strike again. Once he feels more comfortable in their relationship and that he is not going to lose her love for whatever reason, he relishes the chance to make Naomi blush with either a thinly-veiled innuendo or an intense wicked gaze from across the room.

Big spoon/little spoon? Naomi is the big and Esteban is the little because of the aforementioned missing physical affection. But the switch whenever Naomi needs the cuddles.

#estenaomi #esteban flores #naomi turner #my hcs #hcs #my headcanons #headcanons #ship meme #elena of avalor #happy birthday #missnnobodius

8 notes · View notes

winryofresembool · 4 years

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 8

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Calypso makes another new friend.

A/N: Time to introduce Hazel! Since some of you may be interested in my ToA read, I'm currently reading TTT and it’s reminding me how great Frank and Hazel are. In my fic Hazel is 18 and Frank 20, just for future reference.

Thanks to Cris for helping me out and listening to my rants again, and thanks to the people who commented the previous chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this one too and don't forget that even a short comment like "nice" can make my day!

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Hazel, Leo

Words: 1900+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

...

As the fall progressed, Calypso, who had brought a couple of her favorite paintings with her to her new flat, decided to show some of her art to Annabeth. The architect student complimented them and encouraged her to continue creating art, but Calypso admitted that sometimes it was hard to find the motivation to do it on her own. She preferred making things that she could actually use, such as clothes, but she wasn’t opposed to continuing the art hobby if she found a motivator. Annabeth suggested she join the university art club that had classes for various skill levels and where she’d get feedback to help her get even better. The blonde girl wished she had more time to draw just for fun because her university assignments took a lot of her time, but in Calypso’s case her studies had quite little to do with art so maybe the club would offer her a nice break from history.

And so, only a week later Calypso was participating in her first art class at the university club house. She looked curiously around her to see if she might know someone there from her history lectures, but it turned out that wasn’t the case. However, her attention focused on a girl with curly brown hair, dark skin and eyes so unusually colored that they stood out even from afar. Something about her fascinated Calypso and she decided to approach her.

“Hi!” she greeted.

“Hello. Is this your first time here as well?” the other girl asked.

“Yes! An architect student recommended this club for me so I decided to give it a shot,” Calypso explained.

“Mmmh. I’m not a college student – yet because I’m graduating from high school a bit late – but they graciously let me join when I showed them my art portfolio. I just felt like the high school art classes don’t have much to give me anymore so I wanted to try something different.”

“I see. So, is art something you’d like to do for living? Or just a hobby?” Calypso asked.

“To be honest? I’m not entirely sure yet,” the girl admitted. “Something happened that I was kind of out of it for a few months and that’s why it was hard to think about my future for a while. But one way or another I’ll probably still keep doing art no matter what.”

“Oh. I’m sorry about that…” Calypso said sympathetically.

“It’s in the past now, I’m fine!” the girl reassured. “Uh, I already told you that but I didn’t even ask you your name yet… What is it?”

“Calypso Astal. Yes, I know, like that music style… or that Greek sorceress…”

“I was not going to say that.” the girl shook her head, smiling politely. “I was simply going to say it’s nice to meet you, Calypso! My name is Hazel, Hazel Levesque.”

“Well, nice to meet you too, Hazel,” Calypso said, shaking her hand. “Sorry, I hope I didn’t sound rude… I’m just used to people making weird comments about my name.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it! I can understand that very well. I’m a little too used to people’s comments about anything related to my life at this point…” she said sadly. Now Calypso knew what had drawn her to Hazel in the first place: somehow she had sensed that the girl was an outsider, just like she was.

“So, how long have you been drawing, Hazel?” Calypso decided to change the topic.

“Since I was small. It’s always felt like a good way to express my thoughts and also distract myself when things weren’t that great. What about you, though?”

“I think I’ve always been more or less interested in it, but I didn’t start drawing and painting more seriously until I was in high school. I had a lot of time in my hands then…” Calypso said vaguely.

“That’s cool! What else do you do in your free time?” Hazel asked when she realized Calypso wouldn’t elaborate more.

“I like all kinds of handicrafts – you know, from sewing to building small objects and tending flowers – and I also enjoy singing… although usually I do that just on my own…” Calypso admitted, sounding a little bit embarrassed.

“Wow, sounds like you’re such a multitalent!” the younger girl exclaimed. “I help take care of a horse – his name is Arion and a friend who is good with horses claims that he’s loud mouthed even though I have no idea how he can say that. Arion is just vocal, that’s all.”

Calypso snorted at that.

“Yeah, I believe you. My flatmate would probably claim that he’s entirely capable of understanding everything his dog says, though.”

“Aw, your flatmate has a dog?” Hazel asked.

“Yep, he does, but he is not allowed to have it in our flat. Though he still did, when I arrived, and the dog broke my desk. I wasn’t too happy with my flatmate after that but he hasn’t brought the dog in since then,” Calypso said, now able to smile at the memory.

“I’d love to have one too but for some reason a lot of the dogs seem a little afraid of me. I don’t know why.” Hazel shrugged. “But my, uh, friend studies to become a vet and he’s around animals a lot.”

“That sounds like a cool career. I never really got to be around animals a lot in my childhood… But I do remember enjoying watching birds from the window.” Calypso also remembered wishing she could fly freely like them but she decided to not say that out loud, wanting to focus on more positive things.

The conversation died off because the teacher started explaining the participants the schedule of their meetings and what kind of projects they would make. The first assignment sounded like a fun one in Calypso’s opinion: it was called “If I could be any other living creature”. That meant the students were allowed to draw or paint themselves as any animal or plant they could imagine themselves being. At first Calypso thought about drawing one of her favorite flowers but then she remembered her and Hazel’s discussion only from a moment ago and how she had wished she could be a bird. And that gave her an idea.

The bird she chose was called the Golden Oriole. She had only seen one in her childhood on a trip to northern Greece but she still remembered the yellow feathers and the dark wings very well. Her own hair had been lighter back then as well, more of golden blonde than the caramel brown it was naturally now (before the dyeing) which had really stood out with her dark eyes. That’s why her mother had teased her about looking like Golden Oriole. Thinking about those times made Calypso feel a bit homesick but she decided to channel her emotions into the painting instead of wallowing in them. Once she had gotten started, she took a peek at what Hazel was making. Hazel herself had depicted herself as a horse but somehow she had also time to sketch a bear next to it. That confused Calypso. “What does the bear represent?” she asked Hazel.

“It’s gonna be a panda,” Hazel clarified, “and it’s supposed to depict my best friend. I felt he deserved to be drawn too. He is big and strong like a panda but surprisingly soft inside… I want to show how these two animals, though very different, can get along really well.”

“That’s a great topic. And he sounds like a good guy,” Calypso said approvingly.

“He is,” Hazel nodded and took a look at Calypso’s work. “That looks pretty! So, you consider yourself a bird?”

“Well, at least I’d like to be.” She shrugged. “Maybe one day.”

“I sense something is restricting you,” Hazel commented. “But don’t worry, you don’t have to tell me more.”

“Thanks,” Calypso said with relief, and after that the girls focused on their drawings again.

…

Once the class was over, the girls continued talking on their way to the bus stop.

“I’m sorry, this might be a strange thing to say but… I got a bit different vibe from you than from most people in the class. Do you know why?” Hazel inquired.

“Could be because I’m technically a foreigner,” Calypso replied. “I was also homeschooled so… I haven’t really been in touch with people of my age a lot.”

“Really?” Hazel raised her eyebrows. “Where are you from?”

“Greece. But we moved from there when I was 10.”

“Your English is so good that I wouldn’t have been able to tell you’re not from here. I’ve lived in many places too. I was born in New Orleans but I’ve also lived in Alaska and San Francisco…”

“What brought you here, then?” Calypso asked.

Hazel seemed to hesitate a bit. “Uh, it’s a very long story. One I’d rather not talk about right now. But after I recovered from an accident I’ve been trying to find my place. My best friend moved to study here and he’s the closest family I have so I decided I’m gonna follow him.”

Calypso noticed that Hazel blushed a bit when she was talking about her friend.

“And your parents were OK with you moving?” she asked, having too much experience with overprotective parents.

“Uh…” Hazel started awkwardly. “I don’t really have any. Mom is dead and my dad only shows up when it’s convenient to him. I lived with a relative for a few months before I turned 18 but once I was that old, she told me that I was free to make my own decisions.”

“I’m so sorry. About your parents.” Calypso said sympathetically. For some reason she seemed to be pulling a lot of people with tragic backgrounds towards her.

“It might be awful to say this but I think my mom is in a better place now. She suffered a lot in her life,” Hazel said as an afterthought.

Calypso only nodded, because really, what could you say to that? The other girl seemed to sense her hesitance because she continued:

“But don’t worry about me. Frank is the best and most protective friend I could have. And here I have found some new ones as well!”

“That is good!” Calypso said genuinely. She already felt like she could relate to this girl and wished a brighter future for her. “Um, I have some things I need to do at home but I’ll see you next week, right? And if you ever want to hang out outside the class, just message me.”

“I will!” Hazel promised and waved to her as goodbye.

…

Leo was making something to eat in the kitchen when Calypso arrived and he looked at the package in Calypso’s arms curiously.

“Hiya Sunshine, what you got there?” he asked.

“I was at the art club and did this,” Calypso said, taking the drawing from the bag and showing it to Leo.

“That’s a cool bird,” Leo mumbled while trying to swallow his sandwich. “Is there some deeper meaning to it?”

“Yes, it’s supposed to depict me,” Calypso answered, emphasizing the last word.

Leo looked back and forth between the drawing and the artist.

“I’m not really seeing the connection there.” He narrowed his eyes as if trying to see the drawing clearer. “You look nothing like that bird.”

“Leo Valdez!” Calypso yelled and marched angrily into her room, leaving poor Leo wonder what he did wrong.

“I just meant that you’re way prettier than any drawing of a bird could ever be,” he mumbled to himself before sighing and focusing on his meal again.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

10 notes · View notes

cuttoothed · 5 years

Text

What’s going to happen in the Lonely? No idea. But I know there’d better be a heck of a lot of softness afterwards.

(AKA I write hand holding and snuggling for 1500 words; Jon, Martin, and JonMartin, featuring Elias “Smug Bastard” Bouchard.)

When there is nothing for so long, everything is overwhelming. Martin feels the whoosh of his breath in his lungs, the rough stone of the old prison gritting under his hands. It feels real, in a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel again.

Jon, he thinks.

Jon was with him, at the end. They had stood together, and Jon’s hand had curled shyly around his. It helps, if we’re touching, he explained, and Martin’s face heats with the remembered warmth of his voice.

I love you, Jon had told him, his words trembling but clear, That’s why this works. I can pull myself out, and I think I can pull you out too.

I love you, Martin had blurted in reply, and Jon had looked so wonderfully startled that Martin wanted to kiss him. He hadn’t, of course, there was no time, there was never any time, but Jon’s hand had squeezed his tighter, and he smiled.

Then we can pull each other out.

Martin shuts his eyes, a lump rising in his throat, staggered by the wave of emotion that sweeps over him. When there is nothing for so long, everything is overwhelming. He shakes himself out of it and looks anxiously around.

Jon is lying several yards away, a small, crumpled figure on the floor. Elias - Jonah Magnus, god, this just keeps getting weirder - is crouched beside him on one knee. Martin’s heart leaps in his chest and he scrambles over there, barely getting off his hands and knees before he’s down at Jon’s side again.

“...was it like?” he hears Elias say, soft and intent, and Jon is blinking up at him, eyes unfocused, and his voice is scarcely more than a hoarse whisper when he says:

“It was...desolate, and magnificent.”

Jon’s eyes lock with Elias’ and for an instant, Martin feels like he’s interrupting something private, some transcendent connection he can’t even see. But then Jon’s eyes flicker across to his, and Jon gives a smile that’s only for him, Elias forgotten.

“Martin…” he rasps, and Martin’s heart lurches again at the softness in his voice.

“I’m here,” he says, “Jon, I’m here.”

He helps Jon to sit up, carefully, conscious of Jon’s thinness, the fragility of his body. Martin chews his lip with worry, and Jon smiles at him again, tired and worn. His hand reaches for Martin’s, just like it did in the Lonely, and Jon pulls his hand up to press a careful kiss to his knuckles.

“I never doubted you for a second,” Jon tells him, and Martin feels a surge of warmth, love and pride and relief. They’re here, they’re both here, and it’s more than he could possibly have hoped.

“This is all very sweet,” Elias drawls, and Martin jumps. He’d almost forgotten about the man “But perhaps we should leave here, hmm?”

“You want us to go with you?” Martin stares disbelievingly. “Why on earth would we do that? In fact, now that Peter’s gone, why shouldn’t I stab your body, Jonah? Put an end to all this?”

“Please, Martin,” he says with a wince, “Call me Elias. I’ve rather got used to the name. As to why you shouldn’t kill my...body, well, there’s still the fact that you don’t know what will happen to everyone at the Institute. And the fact that you won’t be able to find your way back without me. Jon is in no condition for navigating the tunnels at present.”

Martin opens his mouth to argue, but Jon’s hand presses gently to his cheek.

“He’s right, Martin,” he says wearily. “Let’s get back to the Archives first. Then we can worry about him.”

The journey back through the tunnels is slow and arduous. Martin doesn’t remember it taking so long on the way there, but he hadn’t been cold and drained from the Lonely then. And he’d spent most of the walk with his mind racing, flitting between fear and longing and frantic calculations of what Peter might be up to. All of it wrong, of course. But it had passed the time quickly. On the return, Martin is aware only of Jon’s slight weight pressed against his side, trembling. The memory of Jon’s voice that keeps replaying in his head, I love you, that’s why this works. I love you. I love you. Time drags by as he thinks about how desperately he wants the two of them to be somewhere alone, and safe, so they can talk.

That isn’t possible with Jonah “Call-Me-Elias” Magnus strolling just ahead of them. He’s mercifully quiet for the most part, at least, though every so often he does point out some feature of architecture or geography that makes Martin want to strangle him. Jon must feel him tense, because at a few particularly irritating moments, he gently squeezes Martin’s arm with his fingers.

“It’s all right,” he murmurs, and Martin feels himself relax minutely. At last the tunnels begin to look familiar, and then they are climbing through the trapdoor into the Archives, a scene of scattered papers and overturned furniture, blood spatters on the walls.

“The...not Sasha…” Jon rasps, slumping into a chair, and Martin feels a stab of grief in his chest. He hates Peter for that, if nothing else.

“And hunters as well, if I’m not mistaken,” Elias notes, glancing around.

“Well there’s nobody here now,” says Martin. “And we’re out of the tunnels, so talk.”

Elias opens his mouth, and three uniformed police officers burst through the door.

As it turns out, the Institute has been fully evacuated and cordoned off. The police had become rather alarmed at the sound of footsteps in the Archives, not expecting anyone to be walking around down here. Elias explains glibly that they had hidden in the tunnels at the sounds of gunfire, and had become lost for a time. Martin spends the whole exchange wondering why they haven’t arrested the bastard yet, but they seem to pay him no mind whatsoever.

“You know he escaped from prison today, right?” he tells one of the officers. She frowns with concern and steps away to talk into her radio for a few moments, then shrugs.

“HQ says he was released. All charges dropped.”

Martin gives up, and turns back to Jon, who’s waving off the medic trying to insert an IV into his arm.

“I’m fine,” he grumbles, “No, these are old scars - Martin, tell him.”

“They are,” Martin confirms. “And he won’t go to the hospital, no point trying. I’ll take care of him.”

The medic gives up and leaves them alone, and Jon goes back to texting Basira. She’s okay, he tells Martin, relieved, but she’s gone to stay with her parents for a few days. There’s been no sign of Daisy since the attack, and Martin hears the worry in his voice as he says it. Martin doesn’t really know Daisy, has barely spoken to her since she came back from the Buried, but he already knows he’ll do anything he can to help someone that Jon cares for so much.

After a little more prevarication from Elias, they’re given permission to leave. Jon seems a little less weak now, though Martin is glad to see him grab a stack of statement files off Basira’s desk as they pass. He could use them.

They pass the police cordon, and Elias turns to the two of them, hands tucked into the pockets of his expensive coat.

“Well,” he says, “This has been an interesting day. Well done to you both.”

“That’s it?” Martin demands. “After all that, just...well done?”

“I don’t know that there’s much more to say at this juncture, Martin. I imagine it will be a week or two before the Institute is re-opened, so consider this a paid holiday.”

“I won’t do it, you know,” Jon says, frowning. “I know you think you’re close, and I don’t know precisely what the Watcher’s Crown is, yet, but you can’t do it without me. And I won’t.”

“How unfortunate for me, then,” Elias says cheerfully. “I’ll expect to see you both back at work in a couple of weeks.”

He turns on his heel and is gone without another word. Martin lets out an explosive breath.

“Bloody hell.”

“Yes,” says Jon, “I think that about sums it up.”

Martin sighs and scrubs his hands over his face. There’s so much they need to figure out, to plan and research and do and -

He stops himself short. He’s standing on the street with Jon, after all this time apart, after Jon said that he loved him. Frankly, Jonah Magnus and the Watcher’s Crown and the rest of the world can go to hell for a little while.

“So, do you...want to get something to eat, or…”

Jon gives him a smile that’s painfully shy this time, and Martin’s heart beats hard in his chest.

“That would be nice,” he says. “Could we get takeaway, though? I uh, I need to - ” He gestures with the stack of folders in his arms.

“Oh, right! Of course, absolutely. Do you...want to come to mine, then? There’s a great Thai place just down the street from me?”

“Yeah - that sounds great!” Jon’s face lights up, and Martin could cry at the simple joy of being here, now, with him. Daring, he slips an arm around Jon’s shoulders, half to support him, and half just to pull him close. Jon comes willingly, presses warm against him, his bundle of folders still clutched in his arms.

Martin guides them down the street to the Tube station, and they wait on the platform with the earth thrumming under their shoes, evening commuters coming and going around them. It’s all very ordinary, and Martin thinks about how he must look to the people around them: a tall, unwieldy man with his tired looking boyfriend nestled against him, half dozing on his feet as they wait to go home. He likes that thought.

“Jon,” he says after a few minutes.

“Hmm?”

“What you said earlier, that you never doubted me - did you mean that?”

Jon looks up at him, surprised.

“Of course.”

“Why not?” Martin asks, and he doesn’t understand why the answer is so desperately important to him now, except that he’s not sure anyone’s ever trusted him so entirely in his life. And he’s not sure he deserves it. He was so close to being gone, at the end.

Jon’s expression is solemn when he reaches his hand around the back of Martin’s neck and pulls him down. Their lips brush, very gently, and then Jon’s eyes are intent on his, his fingers still curled into the hair at the base of Martin’s skull.

“Because you’re Martin Blackwood,” he says. “And I trust in that.”

#the magnus archives #tma #my fic #jonmartin #tma spoilers #tma 158

268 notes · View notes

fromsolowithlove · 4 years

Text

Rey is tired AF.

So is my brain from all the tangents it keeps running off on.

AKA whoops I wrote a fluffy one shot instead of updating my WIP.

In Need of Convincing ~3000 words. Rating: Teen & up? I mean...it’s fluff.

Rey loves her job as a kindergarten teacher but also loves being able to be an adult. Her nights and weekends are hers and Ben's, and she wants to keep it that way. After visiting her classroom, Ben has to disagree. He's got a case of baby fever and will do anything it takes to convince Rey to change her mind.

Read on AO3 or just expand here 👇🏽

Monday

Rey stumbled into her classroom and threw her bags onto the floor. She picked up a stray crayon that she had nearly tripped over. Suddenly, her phone buzzed.

Grrr. Who’s bothering me right now? She looked down to see a new text message.

Sweetheart...did you need this bag full of beads, clay, and kindling that says “IMPORTANT! DO NOT FORGET”?

“SHIT,” she exclaimed. She knew she had forgotten something.

Sorry. Yes… she responds.

Rey sighed with relief when she read her husband’s response.

When do you need it by? I have a meeting this morning but can be there right after lunch. Is that alright?

Thank you so much! LOVE YOU. DON’T FORGET IT.

The morning went by in a blur as it always did. Rey never got used to the feeling of being hit by the natural disaster that was five-year-olds. Now that they were back in from lunch, she could start her internal countdown for the day. She slumped herself into the corner of the room. It was the safest place to watch as the students argued over whose blue crayon was bluer.

Suddenly, the door squeaked open. A tall man with hair like onyx walked in. In comparison with the kiddy-sized tables and chairs, he looked even more out of place than usual.

“Mrs. Solo? Who’s that?” a student shouted.

“My helper!” she said as her face lit up.

Ben stood there awkwardly as a crowd began to form around him.

"He’s really tall,” said a small girl with black pigtails. She turned to Ben. “Are you a tree? Or like...a basketball player?”

“Definitely not,” Ben snorted.

“What do we call you Mr. tall guy?”

“Uhh...Mr. Ben will be fine,” Rey answered.

“Mr. Ben! MR. BEN! MR. BEN!” The students started chanting his name and Ben blushed. He hadn’t even done anything. He could get used to this.

“Mr. Ben. Why are you here?” asked Grayson.

“Uhh...to make a special delivery to Mrs. Solo.”

“Oooooh. What kind of stuff did you bring her?”

“Is it a puppy?!” another student added.

“It’s a puppy!” someone else copied.

“No! It’s the guinea pig we asked for!” cried the one with pigtails.

“Noooooo,” Rey dragged out. “You’ll see in just a bit. But we ARE very happy that Mr. Ben was able to stop by, aren’t we class?”

“Yeah!”

“Can you stay with us?” Dax asked.

“Umm. I don’t think so. Mr. Ben actually has another job, which is VERY important. So he can’t -”

Ben cut her off. “Yeah, I can stay,” he said.

She raised her eyebrows. “Are you sure Mr. Ben? We’ve still got TWO hours of school left,” she warned.

“I’m sure. That is if you don’t mind the help, Mrs. Solo?”

“Oh. Trust me. We never turn down help in kindergarten.”

The next two hours went by, and Ben had been relegated to helping distribute the beads and clay. By the end of the day, his fingers were tacky and half his head was braided, thanks to all the girls. Rey quickly snapped a photo to ensure she’d never forget how ridiculous he looked.

Ben began cleaning the floor of stray materials. He watched his wife lovingly as she dismissed the students to their families.

“Well. That was certainly quite the day,” she said.

“It was. I don’t know how you do it.”

“I don’t know. The same way you do your job. It’s teaching. I mean, it wipes me out and they’re absolutely crazy, but it’s what I love to do.”

Ben smiled and walked over to kiss her forehead. “Let me cook dinner for you tonight. You deserve it.”

They enjoyed a night together over their favorite combo of dill carrots & salmon. Most nights, Rey was home earlier and prepared their dinners by default. Ben, however, was definitely the better cook between the two. They sat on the couch as Rey kept scrolling through the TV menu for something to watch.

“Please don’t hate me, but can we watch The Real Housewives of Galactic City? I can’t do anything cerebral right now. I need something mindless, something terribly overacted.”

“Anything you want,” Ben said.

They sat on the couch, with Rey amused by the mess of a show she had chosen, and Ben amused by his happy-go-lucky wife. Rey reached for her wine glass and frowned when she was met by emptiness.

She moved to get up, but Ben took it from her hands. He got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen. Upon returning, he dropped the biggest bomb in the most nonchalant manner. “ I think we should start trying for kids.”

“WHAT?” Rey whipped her head toward her husband, shock frozen on her face. “What made you think about THAT?”

“Being in your classroom today. I think it’s time.” he shrugged.

“Are you kidding?! Were we even in the same classroom?! They’re monsters, Ben!”

“You once called me that, too” he smirked.

“It’s different! I don’t have to remind you not to put everything in your mouth!”

“No, you don’t. I think you quite like it when I put everything in my mouth.”

“Ben. This isn’t funny. I’m serious! I spend time with kids all day. I don’t think I could spend all night with a kid, too.”

“It would be different.”

“How, Ben?”

“It would be ours.”

“It would be a living, breathing child. Not an ‘it’. SEE! We’re definitely not ready.”

“Will you at least think about it?”

“Sure”, she resigned. “But, I”m not budging.”

Tuesday

The next day, Rey woke up and stumbled over to the kitchen island. Ben was there poring over his emails. He had already gone on his run, showered, and eaten. She hated him.

He pushed a coffee and note in her direction without lifting his eyes from his laptop. She eyed it suspiciously.

Reason #1 why Rey & Ben should have a baby:

Because they love each other.

“Wow, Ben. As sweet as this is - I haven't even had my coffee yet. Slow it down, big guy. Also, this is doing absolutely nothing to convince me. I know that you’ll love me no matter what.”

“That’s true.”

“Even if we don’t have a child.”

“Also true.”

“Case closed.”

Wednesday

The following morning, Ben left for his office early. Rey walked into the empty kitchen and yawned. A coffee tumbler with a bright orange sticky-note caught her eye.

Reason #2 why Rey & Ben should have a baby:

You have really good genes. And the world deserves to have them preserved.

She pulled out her phone to text her husband. Flattery will get you nowhere, Ben.

Reason #3 came later that night in the form of an email.

Hello sweetheart,

I’m stuck waiting for this conference call to end, but just thought you should know:

Reason #3 why Rey & Ben should have a baby:

Because you wouldn’t let us get a puppy.

Rey pulled up their chat and considered whether he would get in trouble for being on his laptop while on a call. She figured he had emailed her first and took the risk.

R: We do have a puppy, his name is Chewie.

B: He’s a dog. Not a puppy.

R: And why would you want two of them?

B: I don’t. I want Chewie and a baby.

R: Your logic is lacking. Should I keep a plate warm for you?

B: Yes, please.

R: See you when you get home.

Friday Morning

Thursday had gone by without Ben trying to convince Rey of their need to start a family. This was why Rey was shocked when he dropped an employee handbook on the bed before heading into the shower. It was flipped open to a highlighted section, clearly meant for her attention. In the margins, he had scrawled a note. Reason #4 why Rey & Ben should have a baby: Ben would have to take paternity leave, which would mean more time at home together. Which Rey always complains about.

She opened their bathroom door and peeked her head in. “Alright, Solo. You’re getting warmer. But I’m still a LONG way from saying yes.”

Friday Night

That night, Rey put down her book and turned out her bedside light. She felt Ben snake his arms around her middle. He rubbed small circles against her stomach with his thumbs as she let out a soft moan. He leaned over and whispered into her ear.

“Reason #5 why Rey and Ben should have a baby. The process of trying would be really fun.”

She turned to face him, barely able to make out his features in the dark. She slid her hands past his neck and into his dark locks. She pulled on his hair lightly, happy when he groaned in response. “What a cheap shot, Ben. You know my physical attraction to you is my weakness. But I do like where this is going. May I get a preview?”

He didn’t need to be asked twice.

Sunday Night

Much of Saturday had gone by as an extended preview of just how fun trying to make a baby could be. Ironically, that had left little time for Ben to convince Rey with more ideas. But after getting off the phone with Leia following their weekly call, he had a great idea.

“Rey. Mom says hi. Also, I have one more reason to add to our list of why you should have a baby with me.”

“Do your worst.”

“My parents aren’t getting any younger. Don’t you want them to meet their grandchildren?”

Rey punched him in his bicep. “OW!” he cried.

“You really think guilt is really the best way to convince me?”

“Well, the other ways weren’t working. And nothing I said was a lie…”

“No. But now I’m just sad, Ben! And sad isn’t the proper emotional state for conceiving a child. TRY HARDER.”

Monday

Rey sat in her classroom during lunch gnawing on a baby carrot. She had left her lunch at home and was forced to eat the cafeteria meal offered to the students. Still, food was food. Choosing to avoid the laughs, she brought the meal back to her classroom instead of eating in the lounge.

Her phone buzzed. A photo loaded and she nearly dropped her phone from laughing so obnoxiously.

There was her husband with a goofy smile across his face. She loved Ben's smile - she really did. But seeing it here when he tried so hard to hide it from others made the photo seem doctored. His expression simply didn’t match his crisp business wear or stark office. Also, a selfie was so not his style. Did he even know the term “selfie”? She read the text below the suspect photo.

Reason #7 why Rey & Ben should have a baby:

Because it would make Ben very very happy.

She shoved another baby carrot in her mouth and began to type a response furiously.

I told you to try harder, but instead, you’ve gone back to square one. The photo is lovely, but come on. Put that sharp Chief of Operations Officer mind to use. Make me a proposal I can’t refuse.

Tuesday

Rey sprayed whipped cream into a mug for her nightly dessert. She raised a spoonful into her mouth as she watched Ben empty his pockets onto his nightstand. He pulled out a note and studied it until recognition washed over his face.

The note was soon placed in front of Rey. Mouth still full of whipped cream, she opened it up. This wasn’t Ben’s handwriting, but it reeked of his intentions.

Reason #8 why Rey & Ben should have a baby:

Ben is dying.

“WHAT IS THIS? BEN. YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS.”

“If I were...would you want to have a baby with me?”

“BEN.” She growled at him. If she weren’t so angry, he might’ve dared to laugh.

“Ok, fine. You’re right. I’m not dying. I mean...in a way, we all are...but, not in the foreseeable future. But Poe and Hux said it was a good idea!”

“AHA! THAT explains the handwriting. I’M GONNA KILL THEM BOTH! And then, I’m gonna come back and kill YOU.”

He raised his hands in surrender and approached her like he would a rabid animal.

“Truce?” he offered.

“Pfft. You better sleep with one eye open, you snake.”

She turned on her heel and placed her mug in the dishwasher before heading into their bedroom. When he didn’t follow her, she sent him a stare over her shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“Getting ready to take the couch?”

She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t give you permission to do that. I’m angry and I don’t like you right now, but I still love you. Now, come cuddle with me before I change my mind."

Wednesday

By the time Rey returned home from school, Ben was already on the couch curled up with a book.

“You’re home early…” she started.

“I had an afternoon meeting close to home so I just didn’t go back to the office," he offered with a shrug.

“Oh. That’s nice.”

“It was.”

Suspicious as it was, she had no energy left to try and further interrogate him. She walked over to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea and noticed a gift box on the table.

“Is this for me?” she hesitated. It wasn’t her birthday, Valentine’s, or their anniversary. She began to panic that she had forgotten to get him something.

“Yes and no.”

“Should I open it?”

“Your choice.”

“Obviously I’m going to, then.” After a childhood like hers, Rey had a primal reaction when it came to opening gifts. Truth be told, there could be nothing inside of the gift and she would still enjoy the act of opening it up.

This box wasn't empty, though. She softly touched the leather of a baby-sized pilot jacket.

“Oh,” she let out. Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

“See. Not a gift for you, per se. But I do remember how much you wanted to be a pilot as a child. I was walking back to my car when I saw it and just couldn’t seem to walk away. I’m not saying we need it now. I learned my lesson last night. But maybe we can just stuff it in the back of the closet for someday?”

Rey’s eyes welled up and she bit down on her lip to avoid saying something she’d regret.

Thursday

The next day, Rey sat at home groaning at her laptop.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“I'm fine. It’s just that Maverick's dad emailed to pull out of chaperoning. Mav has a ‘doctor’s appointment’,” she emphasized with air quotes. “So, now I’ve got no male chaperones for our field trip tomorrow. It’s doable with the moms and grandmas coming. But now I’m down one adult and there’s no one to supervise the boys on bathroom trips.”

“I can go.”

“No. You have work.”

“I’ll call out sick.”

“Don’t do that. I’ll be fine.”

“I never take sick days, Rey. I can afford to miss tomorrow.”

“Why would you even want to come?”

“Can’t a man just want to spend time with his wife?”

“Sure, Ben. But I'm warning you, field-trip-Mrs.-Solo is NOT a pretty sight,” she grumbled.

Friday Afternoon

After counting off the students for the fifth time, Rey was certain they hadn't left anyone behind. She led the students and chaperones out from the aquarium and towards the park for lunch. The field trip went surprisingly well, so she made a deal with the class. They could play on the playground afterward if they ate their lunch quietly and kept the area clean.

“Five more minutes til we start packing up!” she called out. When no one responded, she repeated herself in a shout. “FIVE MORE MINUTES UNTIL WE PACK UP! ANYONE WHO DOESN’T STOP PLAYING IN FIVE MINUTES WILL HAVE TO MISS THE NEXT FIELD TRIP!”

“OKAY MRS. SOLO!” the kids cried in unison.

Pleased with herself, Rey turned to watch Ben play with the kids on the playground. It was quite a sight. She hadn’t known Ben in his youth, but she knew he had spent a lot of it alone. And of course, the Kylo Ren she first met would’ve never been caught traipsing through a park. Cries of laughter fill the air as he spun a group of students on the merry-go-round disk. He was stronger than they were, which sent them round at a speed that was probably unsafe. The students giggled and held on for dear life.

Rey noticed that Dax hadn't gotten off for the past several turns. She warned Ben to let him have a break. “Mr. Ben. You need to let Dax off. You’re gonna make him sick!”

He looked back at her and shook his head. “Nah. He’s strong! Aren’t you, buddy?”

“Yeah! Mr. Ben, you’re the best!” The boy began jumping up and down in excitement when his face suddenly paled.

Dax lurched forward and covered Ben with the remains of his lunch.

The playground went silent in horror. Rey ran over, ready to do damage control when she considered her husband’s former reputation as a hothead. To her surprise, Ben laughed. “Aren’t we a pair of messes?” she heard him say. Hand in hand, Ben took Dax to wash off at the water fountain. Rey stood there frozen.

Once they got back to school, Rey handed her favorite chaperone a small hoodie. He looked down and saw, “Coruscant Cougars”.

“Sorry, it’s all I’ve got. Might be a tight squeeze, but it has to be better than smelling like vomit?”

He had to agree and said goodbye to the class as he left for the bathroom to change.

Rey sighed as she waved goodbye to the last student. She let out a small shriek when she saw Ben on the floor, slightly hidden beneath a desk in her tiny hoodie.

“What are you doing? And how did you get in here?”

“I walked? You were talking with the after-school program teacher. Must have missed me.” He was distracted and she noticed he had something in his hand.

“Again. What are you doing down there?”

“I noticed that the kids kept knocking their knees on the desks so I’m going to raise these up real quick.”

Her heart began to race and she felt her cheeks twitch as a small smile threatened to sneak out.

“I’m ready, Ben.”

“Yeah, okay. We can go home as soon as I tighten this last screw. I can’t have any of them getting crushed by my bad handiwork.”

“No, Ben." Rey walked over and lowered herself to meet him on the floor. She leaned in to kiss him softly. "I’m. Ready. Let's have a baby.”

#reylo #reylo fluff #reylo fic #modern au reylo #rey gets that fertility necklace in tros and smiles and i go tip tap type #ben wants to be a dad #but rey just wants to keep him as zaddy #bahaha im so sorry yall

35 notes · View notes

staycatcher · 5 years

Text

Anguish 001- Anguish

“Out of genuine free will, I, Lee Minho, exercise the divine right to reject my sacredly designed soulmate.”

Member: Lee Minho / Lee Know x Femme Reader (she / her)

Au: Frat Boi! Minho + Rejected Soulmate AU

Genre: Angst (some comedy?,, this series is gonna be angsty because of the whole ‘rejected soulmate’ thing)

Rated T for a whole lotta swearing, a frat party, crowds, usage of alcohol and mentions of drugs, intensity, reader is a bit socially anxious (please lmk if any other warnings are needed!💞🥺)

Word Count: 4k & manually double spaced between words & paragraphs for ease of reading!!!!🥵🤠🥰

Note: this is dedicated to @trixareforlix, they’re the first-ever friend I made on here and they’re the one who sparked this frat au idea!! Ilysm always angel!!<33

Edited: 201015 (Original: 190813 )

Anguish series 1/?- ~001~, 002

The anticipated day where you’d become magnetized, the world around you becoming a blur, your heart falling into perfect sync with the one destined for you truly… was not like that at all, actually! No, the stars were cruel to you, perhaps you did something awful in your past life to deserve this, but maybe what is more likely is that your soulmate’s just an asshole. After all, one’s soulmate was the complete opposite of one’s self. Soulmates were the yin to one’s yang and vice versa and all that. To keep one balanced, or whatever.

Now, you aren’t the angel everyone may claim you to be. You weren’t angelic, not at all. Eating ice cream for breakfast was not above you. Your nail polish was perpetually chipped. You couldn’t stand to keep your hair in the same style for too long; chopping it all off or seeing how long it could grow, dying it as bright as you could, and everything in between. You adorned yourself with two or three more piercings than your parents could get behind, bless them, you’re beginning to have trouble hiding your new tattoo. Habitually, you were sensitive, soft, a bit emotional, and tended to be a bit of a smartass. You weren’t blessed with physical grace, ceaselessly tripping over yourself, spilling and knocking over anything in your path, and dancing out of beat to blasted songs.

More often than not, you would go to bed later than planned. Tonight was one of those nights, but it was not because of your natural preference. You were not too figuratively dragged into this by someone who held the title of your best friend, someone whom you were currently thinking of ways of revoking that title from.

“C’mon, dummy! We’re almost there!” Jamie elbowed you, her eyes crinkled in laughter, whacking you on the back a bit too hard.

“Jamie, I must’ve forgotten, but why’re you even dragging me to this frat party again? Why not just go to your sorority instead?” You groaned, your two left feet were dragging behind you on the aged sidewalk, your fake Doc Martens feeling like cinder blocks.

“‘Cause Chris invited me and he’s being a little bitch about it because I keep canceling on ‘im! He keeps saying that my soulmate might be there!” She reminded you for the umpteenth time, rolling her head and eyes back in frustration, sighing before continuing. “And now it’s like- I might as well try and see! I mean, come on!~ I’m starting to think he’s right!” And for the umpteenth time today, you question why she’s falling for this. She’s sharper than this. But for some reason, just this once, she found a way to shoehorn Chris’s dumbassery to logic.

In reality, you could meet your soulmate at any time or place, so to say that one's soulmate might be there is like saying it might rain. Sure, it might. But it also can rain in any season so you can’t be wrong with saying that it might. It doesn’t always rain every day, all the time, so it also isn’t that likely. Rain depends on a lot more factors. But right now, you’re a little buzzed, so it sounded pretty sound.

“So he knows your soulmate?”

“I’d hope so! If not, I’d rip his bleached hay-hair right out of his thick skull!” Now, this is the Jamie you knew and loved, you couldn't help the endeared smile on your face. “When we could’ve been eating takeout and watching a musical-“

“So which frat are we going to again?” You had to interrupt her for her sake. Takeout and a movie would always remain superior to parties in your mind and you already didn’t want to be accompanying her to a frat house.

“Hmm… It’s like- uh... Signal kite zing- wait no- hold on-“

You guys must be tipsier from the pregaming than you thought. “Sigma? ‘Signal’ isn’t greek, I think you mean sigma! And ‘kite’ isn-”

“Right, whatever! Anyways, the abbreviation is SKZ-“

“Ohhh! We’re friends with some of them- We’re like best friends with Chris!! Why didn’t you say it was Chris’s frat in the first place?” Your laugh projecting out of you unattractively with claps and swings of limbs which led to slapping a little too hard at Jamie's shoulder. This clarification did make you feel a bit better. This wasn’t a shitty fraternity you didn’t know, this was a shitty fraternity you inevitably tolerated since you knew and even approved of some of its members!

SKZ was home to a hodgepodge of eight brothers who were pretty individual as far as frat dudes go. Some of which you were genuinely fond of, like Chris, or simply acquainted with, like Jisung, whom you shared a major and program with. Others, you couldn’t even remember the names of or who they are in general. It’s also the smallest frat on campus, so they try to get as many people to come to events as possible, which is honestly exhausting as a concept to your introverted self. Thus, you’ve never actually attended one of theirs until now, now that Jamie is dragging you along with her.

“Ow! I don’t know!~ I thought you were smart enough to figure it out when I mentioned Chris!” She teased, making the two of you laugh harder, you couldn’t defend yourself on that one. The two of you just continued your idiotic banter the rest of the way to the Sigma Kappa Zeta house aka the SKZ frat.

The walk to SKZ’s lair was a bit much, more than you and Jamie bargained for. You were so kindly carrying her platforms for her until she’ll put them back on again, only for you to probably end up kindly carrying them again later tonight. The cool breeze of the September night helped with the humidity and sweat, and the sun beautifully set, leaving a delicate lilac color in its wake which was becoming darker and darker the further you walked. The hazy streetlights added to the whimsy atmosphere, yet to be ruined with the sound of an intolerable amount of bass and the overbearing smell of beer and weed when the two of you arrived on site.

“Okay, I’m pretty sure it’s this house!” Jamie halted her steps, turning towards you, her hair swaying along with the belled sleeves of her mesh turtleneck she had under her dress. The two of you really dolled yourselves up for the night, her hair was perfect, your hair was perfect, outside was perfect, and it brought you sobering back to the not-so-perfect earth. The idea of going inside a suffocating, putrid house majorly crowded with drunk and hormonal peers... was not appealing to you in the least.

“Yup, and now it’s time to turn back around!” You quipped, ensnaring her arm with your empty one, about to steer the two of you in a three-point-turn. This was your final chance at getting out of your predicament, and now that you’re here you regret playing along. Sadly, Jamie was just as stubborn as you, and your turn around was met with a roadblock.

“Oh my god, Y/n, you’re joking! We walked the whole ass way here!” She got out in between puffs of airy frustration, her socked heels digging into the ground as you attempted, gracelessly, to steer the two of you around.

“Okay, okay, fine. We did come all this way and now our drinks’ve worn off.” You acknowledged with an irritated huff. “Okay- how about we go in and get some drinks, and then we’ll leave?!” Your pitch going up with each word of your attempt to negotiate before forcing out a chuckle, your laugh did its best to hide the fact that your body was beginning to stick with sweat and anxiety.

“No, ‘and then’ we’ll find Chris to hook me up!” She playfully fought back but it was hard to take her seriously, or yourself, with how the two of you were laughing, hers genuine, yours not so much.

“Jesus Christ, you really are set on this ‘finding your soulmate’ thing.” You breathed. As much as you hated social gatherings, you loved your best friend much, much more, therefore you were willing to be won over in the name of friendship. Though, she would owe you for this! Fortunately for her, food and drink is fair trade in you and your wallet’s eyes.

“I’m lonely, okay! I’d prefer winning the lottery but this is the next best thing!” Jamie, as per usual, brought the two you back right to laughter instantly. She had her mind made up. Plus, with you giggling it made it all the easier for her to haul the both of you right up the steps of the SKZ Frat House stairs.

Once in, Jamie stuck close to your side, literally, but not that she had the natural choice or much of an alternative; this place was packed to the gills! Jumping up on her now platform clad feet, looking for anyone she recognized or any signs of Chris, while you led the two of you, hopefully, to a kitchen. You were practically kicking yourself each step of the way as you shoved your way through the crowd. The air was stuffy and possibly even toxic, to say the least. The scent is much more foul than last you remember, pungent with alcohol, sweat, cigarettes, weed, hints of puke, and dashes of all sorts of pheromones. Despite the few times you’ve smelled this scent, it never failed to make you wish you didn’t leave your safe, sanitary bed.

There’s jabbing elbows and flailing parts of strangers everywhere that had to be watched out and dodged for, sloshing cups, sometimes drunken flirtatious hands grabbing at you, not at all fazed by the pretty companion you had your elbow linked with. The sway of the hoards of people was beginning to get you motion sick, but you were determined to keep wading through, trying to hike through this high tide, but you couldn’t help but feel vulnerable. You were cursed with a soft, approachable face that just begged to be messed with. Even in times like these, where your thoughts are nothing short of bitchy, the message would never get across with a resting bitch face. Your love for dark attire didn’t matter. Your baby face and aura won every match. Not even the eyeliner and dark lipstick you preferred could save you. All you could do is hope that your best friend’s intimidation and delightfully loud presence was enough for the two of you as you keep planting one foot after the other.

“Fucking hell!” You barely gasped out, finally freed out of the main room, and now into the hallway. The seasick claustrophobia no longer had its poisonous grips on your soft, easy to bruise skin, though, you did need to catch your breath.

“Finally!” Jamie sighed loudly and melodically, patting you on the back and easily recovering. Before she headed straight into the kitchen to scope out the place, possibly for anyone she knew and, perhaps, her Special Someone.

“So did ya see anyone you knew, Jame?” You called after her upon entering what appeared to be a stereotypical scene of the kitchen during a college party. Cliche red solo cups scattered everywhere, filled at varying degrees. A beer keg or two, some cheap bottles of vodka splayed about, remnants of ash from blunts, a couple or two aggressively making out against the wall, and four or five random stragglers fidgeting with their phone or talking overly loudly to each other. You know, the usual.

“Ughh, no” She answered reluctantly. “They have to be somewhere else, maybe, like upstairs or downstairs, right?!”

Before you could reply, behind you, you heard an enthusiastic “Jamie!!” then a muffled, “you finally made it!!” The familiar voice had you jerking your head to see if your ears were failing you, evidently, they weren’t. Right away you see Chris tackling Jamie in a hug before he met your eyes with his comically wide ones.

“Aaaahhh!! Y/n’s here too?!”

“Yeah! Don’t we look cute?” Jamie fluffed up her cropped, newly dyed hair you helped her do, yours also in a similar state.

“Yeah, but Y/n looks better.” He teased, giggling and slapping her in the arm; unsurprising, as it’s their usual fashion.

“Oh my god! Why did I come here?! Okay, we’ll leave then, Chris.” Jamie joked right back at him, snatching at your hand like it was a prize to be won and taking you away with her. Unfortunately for you, this was just a well-meaning joke, you weren’t going to be set free from a party anytime soon.

“Nooo! Don’t go!!” He dramatized, grabbing onto at Jamie, halting her from leaving with you in tow. Giggling so hard, he had to throw his head back to project it all. You snorted a “thank you” a bit late, too busy laughing. He just gave you a brotherly slap on the arm, on his way to leave before Jamie stopped him.

“Wait! What about my soulmate? You said they'd be here, remember!”

“Oh?” Chris’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion, Jamie nodded with stern wide eyes which seemed to spark back his doubtful memory, “Ahhh… downstairs… maybe… I think- hangin’ out! There’s a game about to start- Oh, yeah! That’s why I’m here-” he giggled to himself, “to get this!” He then snatched a full bottle of vodka from a sneaky cabinet you didn’t know about before ushering you guys along to follow him. Honestly, Chris didn’t make it sound too promising that Jamie’s soulmate could be down there, but it’s the best lead you got.

Shyly, you followed behind the two as he led the way to the basement. With Chris as your guide, it was relatively smooth sailing, the crowd parting minimally to make way for the president of the frat. Before you know it, you’re walking down some nasty ass carpeted stairs, forcing your eyes from questionable stains to look for a rail instead to hold onto. Strangely enough, walking down the steps was comforting somehow, the feeling as if it were inviting you in. Like it assigned you a duty instead of the alienating fish out of water experience you had earlier on the main floor.

“I picked up some stragglers!” Chris cheered as he turned into the room.

“Yeah, but did you bring the alcohol?” A brazen voice you’ve never heard before shot straight through you. You could feel it run through you with tingles down your spine and goosebumps up your arms.

“Hell yeah I did, ya jackass!”

When the two of you turned the corner, the world slowed down and your muscles instantly seized up, halting you into place without consent. Your insides clench tight, wrapping itself into a knot. Suddenly you were sweating, but in contrast, your vision looked as though you were looking through a nice refreshing glass of pink lemonade. Normally steady hands were now shaky, your ears and cheeks beginning to glow beet red. You could feel yourself beginning to sweat at the nape of your neck and underarms; all this from the sudden voice of the stranger! -What? What’s going on?!-

Immediately, your gaze pans around the room before they landed on the source, long-lashed eyes holding a dark chocolate glaze and shivering you to the bone. Like a hooked fish, you couldn’t look away. The initial astonishment of just the sensations couldn‘t compare to exploring the face in front of you.

Chiseled cheeks, and angular brows. Pouty naturally downturned lips were discovered underneath an impossibly perfect, pointy nose. Everything about him was like the artwork, his slightly covered forehead was somehow artistic as if even the space between the brow and the hairline was something new that your narrow mind could never possibly understand. His hairline soon revealed a head of luscious black hair, unrealistically voluminous, shiny and soft. Honestly, his hair was screaming at you to test out if it could be possible, that someone who looked like this was real. His entire face and head on his shoulders didn’t make conceivable sense. Maybe it’s just you, but a person this perfect couldn’t exist and you have yet to venture south to see how perfect the rest of him could possibly be.

“Y/n? Are- are you okay?”

You vaguely felt or heard your best friend at your side, but it wasn’t decipherable. Everything but this guy in front of you was fuzzy, blurry to you. All the energy in your being focused on this human in front of you. His silky, messily parted locks, begging for you to test if it was as soft as it looked. His sharp features. His lips a natural coral-y color that began to shine and glimmer with saliva as his glossy tongue began to trail along those chapped lips. You shot your eyes back to his, reeling you back in like the prey you began to feel. Oh, sweet, sweet baby Jesus, is this really happening?!

“I-“ both of you started at the same time. Embarrassingly enough, it seems as though the blurry figures of everyone else in the corner of your eyes caught on to something the two of you were oblivious to. Everyone started jumping and screaming, whooping chaotically, and taking over your vision. The slow world disappeared in a blink, launching you right back to its now rapid, woozy speed. With everyone pushing and shoving around you in excitement it was not at all helping with your wibbly-wobbly state.

Suddenly, you felt many different arms coming at you, wrapping around you, constricting you, and jumping around with you in their arms in excitement. There was a deafening amount of rambunctious hooting and hollering it was almost as if the team they were rooting for won the SuperBowl.

“And here I thought Y/n was Jamie’s soulmate!” Chris guffawed and they all joined in, all besides you and this guy- WAIT- did Chris say- say ‘soulmate’?? No, he couldn’t have!

“Soulmate?” Equally, as soon as you internally questioned the word choice, you heard his earth-shattering voice speak again, despite the fact he merely whispered, softly wondering aloud. He spoke aloud what you were thinking, right when you thought it!

You couldn’t get enough of his voice, especially now when you can’t see him in the crowd. His voice was light, honey-colored, dreamy, just the perfect amount of deep, it made you want to taste his lips to see if he’s as sweet as he sounded. You, yourself, were still in the locked-in-place state, still too shell shocked to even make a step forward, your poor brain overworking itself to make sense of any of this.

“Really?” In elated shock you chirped, slowly giving in to the hugs and excited jumping with wide and confused eyes. Is this for real? This is really happening?!

“Holy fuck, Y/n!” Jamie managed to get you, pulling you a bit too crushingly in a hug. “I can’t believe it! You found your soulmate in this shitty basement and not me!” She playfully teased, there was no ill will behind it.

By now the situation was beginning to sink in a teeny bit and you were shocked, to say the least. Frankly, you were starting to think that this day would never come. You had a soulmate and your soulmate looked like that! You were over the moon, even if you felt a bit guilty that you found your soulmate at this party instead of Jamie. It was the plan of this whole night, after all. Now that it was you, you didn’t know how to react. You were completely and utterly unprepared.

“I’m so sorry, Jamie.” You pulled her back in closer, crushing her back into you, eyes watering, lip trembling. “Oh my god, I think I might- I think I might cry.” You hiccupped into her chic mesh turtleneck and dress combo. This is too much. Too too much.

“Heyy!~ Don’t feel bad for me! It’s okay!” Jamie simply chortled, patting your head deeper into her chest, her usual protocol if you were about to seriously cry.

Humiliatingly enough, you heard a few guys begin to chant “don’t cry!” in the background. Your small moment of sincerity and calm was soon interrupted by Chris.

“Well isn’t this fun! You know what this means!”~

“Minho’s soulmate’s a lil’ bitch?” You heard Jisung, the kid whom you shared your major and many classes with, taunt. His words forcing you forward, ready to fight the kid. He’s a child, literally a child! Why do I associate myself with him?! I swear to god-

“Hey, hey, hey! It was a joke!” He squeaked away from you. He was too speedy, no chance for you and your heavy ass boots stomping after him. Safely, he skidded behind the couch, behind whom you’re assuming is “Minho”, which had your boots screeching to a halt.

Though you were scrambling after Jisung, your eyes naturally met Minho’s as you halted. Once again, your body is preparing to either fight or flight. His face was glowing like he was some sort of ethereal being, wracked up in deep, attractive concentration. In contrast, your face was beginning to burn up an embarrassing amount, your body already turning into inoperable mush. You couldn’t say anything if you tried. Any sentence structure your brain tried to form didn’t make any grammatical or logical sense, your mind racing like a hamster on a wheel. Your neural pathways were glowing, steaming with this sudden overstimulation, leading you to the same frazzling answer each and every time:

This person right in front of you? Yeah, that’s your soulmate.

A hush was spread throughout the previously hype basement, all eyes immersed in the two of you speechlessly enraptured in each other. The longer you stood there, the more you could take him in and get used to him and the idea of him. You were warming up to him, he became more and more real with each millisecond. You've studied his eyes so passionately now that could see his dark chocolatey pupils when you closed your eyes. You were no longer overwhelmed but now enchanted by his features and general presence. His cheekbones are no longer an unfamiliar art piece. His aura was still intimidating as before, but now it appeared to the cheeky kind of way like you wanted to see what amount of scary he was capable of. It was a long, jittery, drawn-out pause before anything happened, not that you noticed.

“Out of genuine free will,” You just smiled, staring at his naturally downturned lips. Only by reading his lips did you pay attention to what he was saying- Wait, what?

“I, Lee-” Hold on a second.

“Minho-” No.

“Exercise the divine right to” This isn’t happening to me. This isn’t-

“Reject my sacredly designed-” happening. No. No. It can’t be. It’s not p-

“Soulmate.” -ossible.

The electric, exciting, high energy pause between us fell and wilted. Died just like that. The connected red strings that tied Minho and yourself were chopped off on his own accord, bringing icy cold into the room in its wake. A harsh blizzard overwhelming the space. Gasps of shocked air were being taken in from everyone in this basement, everyone, including Lee Minho.

You got a gasp of bitter cold in through your lungs before you were struck like lightning. Lightning of feverish torture took over your body, struck you directly in the heart and brain before it flashed through your veins carrying the harsh poison of rejection.

You heard a pathetic squawk tear its way out of your chapped lips, the anguish forcing you down to your knees as if you were directly stabbed in the heart. The electric, immediate painful reaction faded, bringing boiling throbs through all your cells, not leaving one out. It was unlike anything you could describe, no, imagine. It was as if the blood in your veins was replaced with boiling water and your heart was simultaneously squeezed and electrocuted in the grasps of electric hands. Maybe it was the hands of Satan dragging you down with him.

Blurrily, through fresh, hot tears, you swear you could see Minho physically flinch in response, immediately, sprinting out of the room as if he was escaping from a house on fire.

That was the last you saw before it all faded to black.

166 notes · View notes

ladyherenya · 4 years

Photo

Books read in July

With one or two exceptions, these were books were sources of FEELINGS.

Favourite cover: The Enigma Game, nut most of these covers are a good fit for the stories they represent.

Reread: “The Marriage of Mary Russell” by Laurie R. King, “Something Worth Doing” by Elizabeth and I also listened to quite a bit of Code Name Verity (by the same).

Also read: “Monster” by Naomi Kritzer.

Still reading: A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher.

Next up: Stars Above by Marissa Meyer.

(Longer reviews on LibraryThing and Dreamwidth.)

Descendant of the Crane by Joan He (narrated by Nancy Wu): Princess Hesina of Yan, believing her father to be murdered, opens an investigation into his death. She’s driven by her aching grief and by her fierce desire for truth and justice -- for all her people, as well as in this matter of her father’s death. But the truth is much harder than she expects. I thought this was incredible, but sometimes stressful! Compelling characters, complex family dynamics (I especially liked the sibling relationships), intricate prose and worldbuilding, and startling twists that turned out to slot neatly in with the other puzzle pieces.

Riviera Gold by Laurie R. King: This takes place in July 1925, immediately after Island of the Mad. Mary Russell leaves Venice for Monaco, hoping to see her former housekeeper -- and discovers that Mrs Hudson has been accused of murder. As always, I love Russell's first person narration and her observations of the world around her. The historical scenery is particularly vivid: cliffs and ocean views, the Monte Carlo casino, expats with questionable pasts and connections, smugglers, Jazz Age artists, bronze casting. Moreover, it’s all relevant to the mystery Russell is unravelling. I also liked the indications that Russell and Holmes’ unconventional marriage works for them.

Fireweed by Jill Paton Walsh: A short bittersweet novel from 1969 about two runaway evacuees living on the streets of London during the Blitz. It’s very vivid, particularly the details about wartime London -- but there’s also a thread of ambiguity, because the narrator is looking back on a time he doesn’t fully remember and didn’t always understand. In the end, that becomes a bit unsatisfying, yet I like how the story allows one to fill in some of the gaps for oneself. I wish I had discovered this at thirteen -- I’d have appreciated it even more and been fascinated by the experience of fending for oneself.

Aurora Burning by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff: After everything that happened in Aurora Rising, Squad 312 have been labelled traitors but they are not going to let that stop them from saving the world. This is fast-paced, with some excellent twists and frustrating developments. Sometimes the action was engaging; other times my eyes glazed over. Sometimes the multiple POV was a strength; other times I felt it hindered me from becoming really attached to anyone. Sometimes I was amused by the characters, and other times the qualities which make them amusing became irritating. I think the things I liked outweighed the things I didn’t care for?

The A.I. Who Loved Me by Alyssa Cole: Trinity is working from home after a traumatic accident when she meets her neighbour’s strange nephew, Li Wei. This science-fiction romance has mystery, humour and moments of very pointed commentary. I enjoyed Li Wei working out how to act like a human again, and the interactions with Penny, the Home AI assistant. There is more going on here than either Trinity or Li Wei initially realises, which is great --- but that reveal indicates that some important, interesting parts of this story have been glossed over. I might have liked this more if the flashbacks had been expanded.

“Monster” by Naomi Kritzer (from Clarkesworld Magazine, issue 160): This alternates between Cecily’s time in China, looking for an old school friend, and the history of that particular friendship. I don’t regret reading (well, listening to) this, but I don’t know if I liked it. It is tense and uneasy, and left me wishing I had someone with whom I could discuss interpretations of the ending’s implications.

Gravity is the Thing by Jaclyn Moriarty (narrated by Aimee Horne): This grew on me. In the end, I loved it. For twenty years, Abigail’s been sent chapters of a mysterious self-help book. The story alternates between the present, as Abigail learns more about The Guidebook, and her reflections about her past -- particularly her brother, her marriage, being a single mother. At times this story is uncomfortable but the way everything is drawn together -- and seeing Abigail make sense of her life -- was unexpectedly satisfying. Compelling. I also liked the Australian setting, the Aussie audiobook narrator, some of the whimsical parts and how Maybe The Real Treasure Was the Friends We Made Along the Way.

The Enigma Game by Elizabeth Wein: Like The Pearl Thief, this is a prequel/companion novel to Code Name Verity. In late 1940, nineteen year old Jamie is an RAF pilot in northern Scotland. His friend Ellen, a driver for the aerodrome, is staying at the same pub as Louisa (newly-orphaned, half-Jamaican), who is caring for an elderly German woman. Together they discover a way to keep Jamie’s squadron ahead of the Germans. I loved this. A powerful exploration of identity, secrets and the problems of prejudice. I was delighted (and also devastated) by how this story fits in with Code Name Verity. The bits about flying are lovely.

Hamster Princess: Giant Trouble by Ursula Vernon (aka T. Kingfisher): After Ratpunzel, Harriet’s next adventure involves magic beans, a giant bunny and a hamster who wants to form a band. There is something very soothing about making tea. You have to concentrate on the whole process, and then you have tea. Even someone as decisive as Harriet had to make tea sometimes and think things through.

Kind of Cursed by Stephanie Fournet: Millie has been dealing with a lot -- losing her parents, gaining guardianship of her younger siblings, a miscarriage and a relationship break-up. She’s decided to avoid men for the next decade. But it’s hard to avoid Luc, who is overseeing the renovation of Millie’s kitchen. Watching Millie find the support, comfort and happiness she so desperately needs gave me warm fuzzy feelings. This has the right I-need-a-hug-vibe, the right ratio of emotional hurt/comfort, for me. In another story, I might have had issues with how quickly the romance becomes a serious relationship, but the characters’ choices made sense in context.

Fall Semester by Stephanie Fournet: This romance between a depressed literature professor and a graduate student with a terminally-ill father was an interesting experience because I was aware of its weaknesses and yet it was such a compelling dose of FEELINGS that I really enjoyed reading it. I also have something of a soft spot for stories about universities -- and perhaps was feeling tolerant, knowing it was the author’s first novel. (Weaknesses included: the prose style is serviceable but bland, an odd fit for protagonists with backgrounds in literature/poetry; their serious issues deserved more focus; and some of Malcolm’s reactions have uncomfortable overtones of entitlement.)

You First by Stephanie Fournet: More compelling feelings, which kept me reading, but in hindsight, didn’t completely sell me on the age-gap or the short time-frame. If only it hadn’t largely skipped over showing the characters navigating an interesting challenge introduced in the final act in favour of an epilogue which picks up some time later! Seriously, if you’re going to throw in that particular complication, then I at least want to watch them deal with it. I’m not grumbling too much. I cared enough about seeing the characters’ situations improve, which counts for something. And what did I expect, reading three romance novels in a row?

Like No Other by Una LaMarche: Two teenagers meet in a New York hospital elevator during a blackout. Devorah is a Hasidic Jew, Jaxon is black. Devorah is not allowed to socialise with boys outside of her family, let alone anyone outside her community, but she and Jaxon keep finding ways to see each other. This was fascinating, but also frustrating -- I was frustrated with Devorah’s culture for making her feel like she would be disowned if she put a foot wrong, and also frustrated, perhaps unfairly, with Jaxon for not fully appreciating the risks Devorah faces. However I liked the ending a lot.

#Herenya reviews books #Joan He #Laurie R. King #Jill Paton Walsh #Amie Kaufman #Jaclyn Moriarty #Elizabeth Wein #Ursula Vernon #Stephanie Fournet #Una LaMarche

1 note · View note

tartareus · 4 years

Text

the way fiona is painfully touch starved and it not only shows but also affects her dynamics with the people in her life is just </3 i’m cry, here’s a little something that has been on my mind for a while....

for starters, in all her independence and selfishness, fiona is - deep ( and when i say deep i’m talking about centre of the earth kind of deep here folks), deep down - lonely and scared. now, different people react in different ways when in fear - some cower, others run; fiona is like a wounded beast, baring her teeth to anyone who gets too close when she’s licking her wounds.

her fear ( of aging, of dying, of losing cordelia, of losing her title, of never being respected nor loved again, it’s a long list even though she will never admit it ) does not incapacitate her, quite the opposite really. fiona's fear propels her to do something, forces to move forward even when against the tide.

i have yet to finish off my hcs about her parents but one thing i can point out now is that fiona did not get enough love growing up, much less displays of affection from her parents. while her mother was never an ounce as horrible as fiona herself was to cordelia, she certainly lacked at comforting fiona and making her feel safe. as to her father, always too busy at the hawthorne school to spare much of his attention on her, spoiled her rotten with gifts.

the family’s calico cat was probably the only companion for a long while - that is, in her early childhood before joining the academy - it’s not surprising that she grew up to be an individual who has one hell of a hard time showing affections; after her death of her mother, when she was taken to the academy to start her training and pretty much ever since that the only one she could truly trust and count on was herself and in her growing powers.

this is one of the many reasons why she does not like to be seen or touched ( no matter how kindly ) as if she were weak. it’s a big deal of pride mixed with uncertainty - of not being able to put her own safety at the hands of another, even if the other ( and, in this case, marie - who is pretty much the only one who even offers her any form of comfort/steady safe embrace even if only to keep her from collapsing ) is trying to help her.

she grew so used to using her looks, and touches as a way to seduce people to get what she wants that, when it comes to something honest fiona finds herself at loss of how to go from there. take for instance the touches she exchanges with the axeman. they are sexual because obviously she is in a sexual relationship with him for a time.

while it is nothing rooted in love or genuinely romantic ( she fell in love with the idea of being in love and being, truly, loved in return; she likes the axeman, but she loves how he makes her feel more than she could ever care for him. it’s the adoration he gave her when she was at her lowest, the distraction from all the troubles and fears and, of course, the orgasms, she loved those too but we’re not going to hold that against her - considering she might have had those with only few of her partners in life, specially when one notes that she has majoritarily been with men. ) she still clinges to him,

as she clinges to all others she tries to connect with - regardless the way she wants to do it, if it’s friendly, familial or romantic - in a way betraying her own mask of indiference to the ones around her for she doesn’t want them to leave her, dreads at the thought of being alone, even when she treats them badly - and she does, awfully a lot.

the fact that she constantly has a secret agenda alligned to touching is also something to note, it blurs even more the lines and ends up making whatever attempt to do so honestly fall flat. amongst other things, frustration comes to her often and then, of course, there’s aggresion ( not only in her own self destructive path of booze and drugs, even when she’s ill and fragile) also turned to others.

worst of all when it’s turned to her daughter, who shares a complicated bond with her. she loves her child, truly does so, but hates being a mother - always has. it never sat right with her and it never felt like these shoes belonged to her, like she deserved this. not to mention that, after delia’s birth it felt as if a part of fiona had just died, which pushed her even closed to the postpartum depression phase she went through, perhaps there was a plausible reason to why supremes usually never had kids, or perhaps it’s fiona’s fucked up ways that drove her to be such awful mother, whatever it is has left a mark not only on cordelia but on herself too.

when cordelia comes back from the hospital - after she and fiona had been trying to reconnect over drinks - fiona is seen clutching one of cordelia’s clothes, visibly anguished and, to her own surprise, in pain. it’s a similar pain she felt in the hospital, hours after hours in that uncomfortable chair waiting for delia return. it’s not just the physical pain of her disease eating her away that drives her to steal some painkillers, it’s the emotional pain of almost losing a child, part of herself in a way, that she never thought she loved that much - her mental state is alluded by the erratic flickering lights and her encounter with the young mother whose baby died shortly after the birth.

the pain she feels for her daughter is something secretive and reserved to moments of weakness where nobody is around to witness and she can convince herself that they were nothing but her illness making her soft. a passing thing. still, she tries approaching her daughter - even more so after the truth about hank’s cheating is revealed - only to find out that by doing so she just might get her ass on the line. she recoils slightly, frowning and instantly regretting her moment of weakness and decides to avoid touching cordelia for her own self preservation within the coven.

fiona eventually leaves her, gingerly saying she’ll get delphine to help her daughter. her own words about cordelia ring on her ears: delia is a survivor. we later see that fiona does not seem to be able to detach herself from the situation as much as she wanted to - if anything, the way she brought back that baby to life in the hospital and how she aids marie to keep the baby that was meant to papa ( of course with her own hidden agenda of wanting to offer a soul to him to get on his good side ), fiona’s own lack of touch when it comes to maternal matters does not stop her from wanting to avoid other kids from being abandoned. in both cases, by giving the change to keep the kids, fiona is giving another shot a motherhood - not directly, obviously, but it’s as close as it will ever get.

we eventually see that fiona begins to wear gloves to avoid unnecessary drama ( aka delia finding out even more of the dark shit she's been up to both lately and in the past ) and is visibly relieved once she finds cordelia’s sight restored - even if it had been myrtle, back from the stake no less, who had done it. in that fickle moment we can see the softness in her eyes and demeanour, as if she can breath again.

obviously, realising that she truly does care for her own child is nothing that redeems fiona, but it’s an interesting layer to her character - how conflicted she is with her own feelings. we get a slight glimpse that perhaps things were not so different with fiona and her own mother. later, when fiona finds out in horror what cordelia has done to herself to get her second sight back, the two share another heart to heart moment, but that obviously ends up going downhill (and fiona does note how odd her daughter acts at the time) when the sight is not only restored but shows glimpses of a possible future, one where fiona has killed them all.

including cordelia.

now, i do think part of the vision was reflecting cordelia’s own fear of her mother manifesting itself - zoe did end up dying in the very same way she did in the vision, but fiona had little to do with it. queenie herself, after fiona had just killed madison and beheaded the bastien/the minotaur, had her life saved by fiona.

even though fiona was under the impression that the next supreme was gone, using the vitalum vitalis to get queenie's soul back before it went to the afterlife was a risky move, considering that this wonder, unlike resurgence, uses the witch's very own life force. normally a supreme would not faint afterwards, but being with her own health and powers beginning wane, fiona feels the harsh effect of it a couple of minutes later, when she’s in her room and sends delphine away. she held herself against the wall to get there when she could have asked cordelia to help her or even delphine, and the way i see it that she didn’t ask for help for the very same reason why she declined marie’s steady embrace at first some time later: fiona hates to be weak, to feel useless and powerless and, worst of all, to be seen in a weakened, fragile state. she wants to keep the image she has painted of herself ever since she rose to the throne: of being invincible and in control of everything and everyone.

by being the biggest source of danger they have to worry about, she finds a way to protect them, or at least distract them, from the real danger that lies just outside their doors, a danger that only few of them would be able to handle: witch hunters. because, let’s be honest even though fiona was a hazard in high heels to the coven, they were slightly safer with her on their side than against her.

while i honestly don’t think fiona was really up to kill all of them witches when she sent the axeman there to be killed there, i cannot claim she did it with pure intentions. sure, she did it to find the next supreme while she gathered strength to face her, whoever she might have been, but having a secret agenda doesn’t exclude the real thing here. she wanted out. out of the coven’s responsability of finding her replacement ( to her, it felt as if they were burying her before she had even died ) and out of the potentially dangerous relationship she had with the man.

which eventually proved to be a smart move (well, not for long though lmao) considering how the touches they exchanged were either sexual or violent, even though the little spit trick she did on him was nothing but false memories, there’s no denying that she knew his violent nature could get to her one day. she knew he was just as awful as she was.

perhaps worse than fiona, if that little hint of her knotty pine hell was anything to go by, she was going to spend the rest of eternity not in hellfire and damnation but with a former lover’s hands on her as she’s at the mercy of all his violence and lechery. while there’s something incredibly ironic about this awful situation. her hell seems, at first, his paradise but, the longer they stay like this, with her forgetting the previous days and only having him and dull aches on her body to warn her of whatever the hell has happened in the previous day, the faster he will realise she never loved him, and never will. he will be stuck with someone he loves but that could not love him back for the life of her.

before all that happens though, we get to see fiona and cordelia meet one last time. even though it would never explain how awful she was, we get to see that to a big extent what fiona had wanted was to protect cordelia, keep her safe but, above anything else she wanted cordelia to be strong enough to stand on her own, to survive and bite back. which cordelia did, on her own and beautifully so. when she does grow a backbone, as she ascends as supreme that is, is when fiona feels at ease, as if her job ( the most important one, and the one she has forsaken for years ) is complete. cordelia no longer needs her, or myrtle or whatever maternal figure she can find. this time she hugs cordelia, clutches to her not as if her lie depended on it, but as if cordelia’s did. with her out of the picture, her daughter’s powers would fully bloom into what they should be once for all && fiona’s sorry for whoever dares to touch this coven again.

she’s not longer the scared little girl fiona dropped off at the academy decades ago, she’s the fucking supreme now.

she can handle it.

#hey look at what i did instead of writing :D #this got longer than i expected but oh well #m; f. goode \ hcs #m; f. goode \ relationships: cordelia #m; f. goode \ relationships: the coven #m; f. goode \ relationships: axeman #m; f. goode \ relationships: marie #tw; death #tw; violence #tw; abuse #tw; terminal illness mention #tldr; fiona is messed up and touch starved; she loves her family more than she lets it show

2 notes · View notes