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chirpsythismorning · 8 months

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Mike's character regression can be explained in large part by one emotion in particular: guilt

Just want to preface this by saying that, this is not Mike slander. I love this dude. In fact, I think what makes Mike such an interesting character is that a lot of his behavior throughout the series can be explained in part by previous moments, and after really looking at all these moments together, what you end up with is a pretty fucked up story.

So while some might want to take this as Mike slander, these points I'm making are a part of Mike and things he has done and said and whether they were intentionally harmful or not, it's Mike. It's all shaped him and his role in the story. The fact that we're seeing a visible shift in his behavior at all, with plenty of moments from the show to back up what brought us here, makes it compelling enough to talk about.

So, without further ado, back to our roots:

Ah yes, the infamous canon proof disputing Mike's I think my life started that day we found you in the woods, claim during his monologue. Not only that, but in this original scene from 1x02, it turns out Mike actually intended to send her away the next day (all of which El could hear Mike saying from the open bathroom door).

Mike outright calling El a weapon, again telling the others they need her because they stand no chance at getting Will back otherwise.

I wont elaborate on this now, because there is way too much to unpack that'll honestly be more worthwhile discussing further on.

For now, this is a secret tool that will help us later.

These next couple scenes right here though, are pretty painful if I'm being completely honest. The way its shot, specifically El's very visible exhaustion, accompanied by the varying priorities of others around her, leaves me feeling pretty unsettled upon rewatches.

I obviously can't remember how I felt when I watched these scenes for the first time, but I imagine I viewed them as this huge romantic moment for Mike and El (I was tricked by heteronormativity, okay?). But, again, upon rewatching them since then, I've realized I get this sort of sad feeling by the end. You'll see what I mean.

El obviously just went through something extremely traumatic. She tried to go find Will and Barb in the void, only to find Barb dead and Will presumably alive, but then slipping through her fingers at the last second (no, literally).

We then got a moment where Joyce held El while the others sat by quietly because she clearly needed a moment of comfort given what she just endured.

Then in this scene shortly after, everyone is leaving to get ready for their final attempt at saving Will.

Now, notice how not only Lucas, but also Dustin make the effort to reach out to El to comfort her affectionately after that traumatic event, with those twos' actions specifically being showcased in sequence?

Lucas, who spent the better part of the season being critical of El, is now ending the season rubbing El's shoulder to warm her up, literally soothing her to make her feel better.

Then there's Dustin, who right after Lucas' gesture makes a gesture of his own, putting his hand on her knee reassuringly, to show her he's there and he's happy she's okay.

And lastly there's Mike, who is so kindly allowing El to rest her head on his shoulder. This placement of Mike and El here is definitely a testament to the fact that Mike has vouched for El this whole time in contrast to the others and so, understandably, she put her head on his shoulder for reassurance, because out of the three of them, he's the one whose been looking out for her the most. (Right?)

Now you might be thinking that this sequence's only purpose was to show Lucas and Dustin's development with El, and that it wasn't intentional that they focused on Lucas and Dustins' priorities in this moment in contrast to Mikes'. And I raise you, this next scene.

Here we have a focus on Mike looking on to where everyone left, while the others beside him are presumably just processing what went down and taking a rest (and boy oh boy do they (El) need one).

Mike on the other-hand decides to take this moment of rest to display the most cliche and universal forms of distracted unrest known to man: he checks his watch.

Mike then stands up abruptly, causing El to fall without his shoulder there for her to rest on anymore, all while her and Dustin are looking on after him, sort of like... Okay?

It's small. It might seem insignificant. But if you actually pay attention to what this scene is trying to make you feel, after really looking at it for what it is, it's kind of sad.

In a moment that chooses to highlight the other boys' acknowledgment of El after what just happened, and not only that, but at the tale end of their final battle of the season, Mike is... distracted?

Mike, who has been presumably looking out for El more than the others in the party this whole time, is conveniently out of commission? And right now when El is looking for his reassurance the most? Mike doesn't even have a moment to say, 'Hey I'll be right back, I just want to check something. Can one of you?--', asking Lucas or Dustin to sit next to her in his place. No. Dude just stands up without even acknowledging her.

If it was any other moment in the show, under less post-traumatic circumstances for El, then I wouldn't even think much of it. But it's at this point in the story when El is essentially at her most exhausted and quite literally seeking out support from others, specifically Mike, that makes his distractedness so eery.

Again, you might still be thinking that this isn't that deep. However, I think based on the events leading up to this, and what follows right here, could quite literally hold the answer to the guilt Mike is still keeping to himself to this day.

So... How are we feeling?

Are we feeling like Mike None of you are thinking about El's wellbeing right now! She could get brain damage from using her powers too much! She's not a weapon!* Wheeler is a little bit of a hypocrite? (I told you that tool would come in handy!)

It's actually quite terrifying how similar this scene is framed to the scene in Hopper's cabin in s3, where Mike pretty much says the exact opposite. In s1 Mike goes from being one of the first people to refer to El as a weapon within the context of them using her powers to find Will, with him being completely un-attuned to the fact that she is exhausted in this moment while the others are saying El's rest and safety is the most important, to then in s3 completely flipping script and saying El was using her powers for nothing, blaming the others for treating her like a weapon and not taking her wellbeing into consideration.

It would be one thing if Mike had a little arc where he acknowledged this script flip. Because that's what it is. It is them having Mike use a word in s1 to describe El, that being weapon, only to say the others are treating her like that with that same word being used. It is them having Mike not agknowledge El's well being after overusing her powers, only to say the others aren't taking her wellbeing into consideration for overusing her powers.

And it would be one thing if Mike had spoke to El or literally anyone about how he felt like he wronged El for planning on sending her away the next day after they found her so that they could go back to looking for Will, or how he said she was a weapon that they needed in order to find Will, essentially being no better than the people she just escaped from, who also used her for her powers. But we don't get that (actually we do.. but it's not acknowledged for what it is aka survivor's guilt. It's instead seen as romantic... another tool for later...)

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think any of Mike's behavior takes away from what Mike did do for El, because yes he was kind and accepting when the others weren't. But even despite all of that, at the end of the day, he was often at the forefront of expecting El to risk her life for them, even if he wasn't outright asking that of her.

Before you freak out, No. I don't think Mike, a literal child, was capable of fathoming that El was going into these situations risking her life. She's a superhero. El's alternative was literally going back to the lab, running, or staying with Mike. This was her safest option.

After a bunch of rewatches and putting together a lot of these moments as a whole, I've come to a point where I believe that Mike's behavior throughout s1 was him thinking that because of who El was, she's already in danger at all times. That is a constant reality for her. And so why not have her help them find Will, because she is able to, all while he can also help her. And El clearly wanted to help them, because she wanted to help good people and finally do something meaningful with her powers for a change. Unfortunately, she also had to endure PTSD flashbacks almost every single time Mike and the boys had her use her powers to help find Will.

Speaking of Will, he is currently missing and possibly dead. Will also, in contrast to El (for now...), does not have any sort of superpowers.

Mike's concern over the threat of Will's livelihood is much greater than Mike's acknowledgement to the true risks El is exposing herself to each time she uses her powers to help them. That is s1 canon.

Is there times when Mike is focused on El and her well being. Absolutely! But is there also times when Mike is not showing any display of concern to El's well being in the moment, in complete contrast to the other characters around him... Also yes.

And so the events happening the way they did, with Mike himself not fully comprehending the severity of what's been going on during these high stake situations going on around him, makes sense.

And that's what makes it all the more sad that when Mike finally does realize what he's truly been asking of El this whole time, which is to risk her life for them, it's too late.

This whole scene is obviously very emotional. All of the boys are crying, but the focus on Mike calling out for El painfully is heartbreaking.

But what's even more sad to me, is that El has been sort of used to mistreatment her whole life. She's used to having to find any comfort she could get from people in her life, all the while they were using her for her powers. I mean even despite Brenner being who he was and doing what he did, she still showed these signs of wanting to love him despite it. Which is very very fucked up. But knowing what she's gone through, makes sense.

Mike on the other-hand does greatly contrast Brenner because he was one of the first people to actually treat her with genuine kindness right from the start (before he even knew she had powers), making it a lot easier for her to care for him even despite that pesky trait of using her for her powers being almost synonymous with Brenner's very similar trait.

So when she looks back at Mike, and points him out specifically before sacrificing herself, it feels like a few things at once.

It feels like her acknowledging the fact that she appreciated him specifically for taking her in and supporting her more genuinely than anyone has in her entire life.

And yet it also feels like her, either intentionally or unintentionally, acknowledging the unfortunate side affect caused by days of Mike leading the efforts to find Will, with the expectation of her to do things to achieve that, which could have all lead to her demise technically. And so now when it all comes down to it and the stakes are at their highest yet, same as the risk, she's got to a point where she believes there is no other choice but to do just that, risk her life, especially if it means saving them.

While this is happening, Mike is backtracking in real time. He is trying to get El to stop and it's because he doesn't want her to die. Obviously.

But that's the fucked up part isn't it? When he finally realized what he's been asking of her this whole time, it's too late.

Which takes us to S2 Mike Wheeler, known by many for being a boy whose been calling his true love everyday for almost a year now because he's just so in love, but is actually in fact a boy suffering the most intense form of survivors guilt, one that involves a person who genuinely feels responsible for the persons death...

But that will probably take at least another 2,000 words so I'm thinking maybe I better split this into multiple parts.

I will tease that the next part involves one specific detail in particular that I never see anyone talk about, a detail that I think, in combination with what's discussed in this post, is so important to understanding Mike's breakdown for what it truly was at the end of season 2. I will also probably do more posts beyond that for s3-4, to delve into the impacts these moments from the first two seasons have basically put in place a perfect recipe for what is currently going down.

So feel free to stay tuned for those nonsense updates.

Continued

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maxislvt · 10 months

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pls tell us more about omega!wanda x beta!nat x alpha!reader 👁👁

warnings: amab!reader (no gendered terms), smut, omegaverse, sub!reader, dom! WandaNat, pegging, voyeurism, collaring, mating claims, breeding kinks, spanking, threesomes

i said I was gonna sleep but that's nawt happening so uhhh here!

okay so similar dynamic to my usual omega!wanda fics. You're rather soft and sappy for an alpha. since you face a lot of bullying for it, you hide your identity at work and don't really pursue a relationship because you've always been told that no omega would want an alpha like you.

for this I'd like to think Wanda and Natasha are a match made in hell. they're not dating each other yet. they have feelings for each other but both of them are really dominant and lack interest in being submissive so they're hesitant to commit

They both have their eyes on you before they even figure out you're an alpha. at first it's like a game for them. the first one to take you out on a date gets to do all the nasty and inappropriate things they want to you and tease the other for not getting you first!!

however that goes out the window really fast because they realize you're really bashful and it's just too cute to keep from the other. also you tend to turn and run the second you think you'll be alone with one of them for even a second.

Wanda is subtle. the way she touches you seems so innocent and kind that you almost ignore how close she is to your crotch. You usually don't catch on to her innuendos until much later into the conversation. She never forces you to stay but something is always compelling you to stay put and listen

Natasha on the other hand is very bold and doesn't hold back. sometimes you're literally pinned down and forced to deal with all her perverted comments. you couldn't run away even if you wanted to. her intentions are very explicit and there's little room for what she wants to do with you

it only gets worse when they find out you are an alpha. mainly because their nasty little fantasies can get really explicit now but also because they know exactly how to tease you. they never push too hard, but just enough to get you worked up

you don't know that they know but after falling victim to their coordinated attempts at courting, you assumed that they guessed incorrectly about what rank you are. in an attempt to have some peace, you make this grand reveal to them and they're so unphased. in fact, they're more focused on how good your scent is more than anything.

one thing leads to another and suddenly you're sandwiched between the two of them and fucked out of your mind. they don't even let you put up another act about how alphas should behave and keep you spoiled in bed all day until you stop pouting and promise to give them a fair chance

they do make an effort to take you on nice dates and buy you actual courting gifts. they're really expensive and have a lot of thought put into them. some of them are literally just sex toys they wanna use on you at a later date. like the first thing they buy you is a vibrator and lube. the hope was that you'd be curious but too inexperienced to do it on your own and come running to them

they're very horny romantics. so their claim bites on are either layered on top of each other to make a heart or symmetrical somewhere on your body. the choice is yours but I think it'd be the same way on all three of you.

anyways, you guys are a very practical pack I feel. the three of you would love to have everything be matching and constantly do cuddle piles but it doesn't always get to happen. sometimes it's as simple as one of you is on a mission and can't do the cuddle pile. other times it's the simple fact that Wanda likes to wear pajama pants, you only sleep in shorts, and nat typically goes without pants when sleeping.

and I think that practically carries over into sex as well. in my mind Wanda and Nat are a complementary pair. Wanda is soft and Natasha is strict. That isn't to say they can't come together and spoil or tease you though.

if it's just you and nat or you and Wanda, the whole scene was likely recorded and there's a million photos of how you looked.

Wanda prefers to get you really deep into subspace and wait until you're practically leaking through your underwear before stripping you naked and filling your ass to the brim. she'll let you cum as much as you want so long as you're good and let her have fun too

Natasha likes to tease. She'll edge you for hours before she even thinks about pegging you. Nat is not above spanking you just for fun! After she's marked up your skin and left you a sticky mess, she'll spank your ass bright red until you have a hand print

80% of the time they top you together is to spoil you. it doesn't have to be a special event, but they like making you feel good together and watching you make a mess of yourself. they'll stretch your ass out with both of their straps and go for as long as they can.

The other 20% is always a punishment and not even Wanda's pampering nature can save you. If you break their rules, then you have to suffer the consequences. Since Natasha is a sadist and spanks you all the time, they get a little more creative. They fuck each other right in front of you and make you edge yourself with a simple fleshlight.

The only time they let your top is if you're in a rut and that doesn't mean you're not subbing. most of the time, you're breeding Wanda while Natasha is controlling your hips and keeping you in check via a collar.

Natasha likes to watch while you and Wanda fuck out your cycles. Maybe she'll ride you during rut if she's really horny and wants to be knotted but she prefers to watch you try and act all dominant and tough sometimes.

also their straps are enchanted and they love fucking your face. Natasha likes actually fucking your throat but Wanda just thinks you look absolutely adorable on your knees and desperate to please her.

the aftercare is always wonderful. they follow a similar routine even if they're not fucking you together because it's tailored to what they think you need most after sex. cuddles and a bath are mandatory, even if Wanda has to drag you to the bathroom with her magic. if they've tipped you together, they prefer you just go right into taking a nap but they will let you watch TV or play a videogame if they weren't too rough.

honestly they seem like the type to not even consider sex if they know you haven't eaten anything, but they still keep a few in the mini fridge just in case you need something.

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missdrake · 2 years

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Yandere Aegon II Targaryen (Romantic) would include:

Warnings: Forced relationship, toxic and abusive behavior, NONCON also spoilers

Note: While I use the gif for the younger version, this is supposed to be for the older!Aegon, but I can’t find any gifs of him

If Aegon were ever to be defined by his sins, there would be three. His first sin was wrath; described as a man who’s quick to anger and slow to forgive. His second sin was gluttony, always overindulging himself. And his third most prominent sin was his lust. He kept an eye on every pretty lady and servant, and they were frequently found in his bed. In the end, Aegon always walks away with pride while they walk away with shame.

He has always been drawn to lovely things. It should not have come as a surprise when you got his attention. You are beautiful, young, and pure—all the qualities he liked in a woman. Aegon is shameless; regardless of whether you were engaged or already married, he would still pursue you. Sadly, Aegon won't accept "no," and soon enough, his interest develops into infatuation, which then develops into obsession.

The blood of the dragon is coursing through Aegon. It's in his nature to be possessive and protective, but as a yandere, he becomes suffocating. He is without a doubt among the worst yanderes in his family. While the others also exhibit his possessiveness, Aegon is more on the extreme side, in that he views you more as a trophy for him to win rather than as a person with feelings and aspirations.

Another thing that makes Aegon different from the others is that they know their darling is only with them because of coercion. But Aegon doesn’t see it this. He becomes a semi-delusional yandere as a result. Hence why he is so agitated when you keep turning him down—it forces him to deal with reality.

Aegon will marry you one way or another. Despite his mother's and grandfather's advice to the contrary. Aegon doesn't handle rejection well, as was already mentioned, and he'll react violently if his engagement to you is rejected. Aegon might even go so far as to deflower you—either voluntarily or against your will—so that you would be compelled to wed him in order to maintain your honor.

Aegon will continue to have an affair with you regardless of whether he marries Helaena. The problem arises when he refuses to keep it secret. There will be a lot of gossip around the court regarding the whole arrangement, and it will be extremely scandalous. And obviously, your family will be humiliated as a result. Still, it doesn’t bother Aegon. If anything, he sees it as their payback for refusing to accept your engagement to him.

Deep-seated jealousy consumes Aegon. Even the slightest interactions you have with the opposite sex make him paranoid. Playing on Aegon's jealousy is the riskiest thing you can do because it will likely result in someone dying-possibly getting eaten by his dragon. His brothers are not exempt from this either, and as a result, they tend to avoid you. Everyone in the court—the lord, the ladies, and the servants—knows to keep their distance if they want to stay out of Aegon's crosshairs.

Whatever you may think of Aemond and Daemon, there is at least a sense that they care about their kids, even if they are merely a tool for subjugation. On the other hand, Aegon doesn't really care about your kids, and if he had to choose between you and them, he would pick you without giving it a second thought.

He’s hungry for you and Aegon takes what he wants. He loves seeing you squirm, the tears you shed, the sounds you let out; in particular when you moan his name. If you reject him, he'll gladly force himself on you. And all the guards who were meant to protect you will simply stand there as they listen to their prince king forces himself on you. Aegon deludes himself into thinking you want this, but you're just being coy.

Aegon is desperate for your touch even outside of the bedroom. Holding your hands wherever you go. His lips are always finding yours; his kisses are passionate and deeply left. In spite of his lack of enthusiasm for dancing, he will dance with you on any given occasion. His mother has to caution him against making physical displays of affection because other people perceive his clinginess as a weakness.

As the future king, he demands respect. He demands others to give you the same respect. Regardless of whether you are his mistress or his wife, Aegon won't tolerate any disrespect or insults directed at you. The subsequent time they do so will be the final occasion when their tongue is intact.

If you play your cards well, Aegon will be in your good graces. You've discovered how simple it is to seduce Aegon. How eagerly he awaits your admiration. Aegon also enjoys treating you to many luxuries. Even if you ask for something odd, like a pony, he'll bring it to you.

As time goes on, you will slowly be able to get him to do your bedding, but you must make him feel that you are happy with him, that you have accepted his place in your life, and that you love him completely. You must be careful though, despite Aegon's love for you. If your plans are discovered, you’re not exempt from his wrath.

#aegon ii targaryen x reader #hotd x reader #yandere hotd #house of the dragon x reader #yandere house of the dragon #yandere x reader #asoiaf x reader #yandere asoiaf #aegon targaryen x reader #x reader #reader insert #hotd #yandere #yandere headcanons #headcanons #house of the dragon #asoiaf #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen

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hyperfixation-symposium · 11 months

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I don't feel like q!bad gets enough praise for being such a good dad.

Like, he's encouraging of Dapper's special interests even if they're dangerous and often end up with him at least slightly hurt. He's incredibly respectful of Dapper's independence while also being a caring and attentive father. If they're going to be out and about together, he almost always takes Dapper's input on where they go and what they do.

He knows Dapper is talented player, who knows more than he does sometimes, while still recognizing when Dapper forgets his own limits. He's still a kid, and a fragile one. But that doesn't mean putting him away in a box, like Phil has done with Chayanne. That means finding ways to be safe, having extra backup plans, extra people you trust by your side. They're on together almost every night, even past or before streaming times.

Bad is the egg babysitter, he goes out of his way to do things for them because he genuinely is such a compassionate person. He's also dedicated to solving the lore, to pranking his friends, to building Skeppy statues, and everything else.

Dapper is the mechanic, a collector who isn't ashamed to help others and leave them a gift or a silly prank along the way. He's a kid, who fights with his dad and keeps a journal of how all his machines work, just in case.

A lot of times, when people want to thank Bad for his help, they wonder, "what do you give someone who has everything?" And truth be told I have no idea what I'd do. It never feels like Bad has everything, but rather, it feels like he has everything he really wants. Bad has Dapper, and together, they're able to accomplish almost anything. That's what I think makes them so compelling.

I occasionally scroll through Twitter and see people talking about how they want the egg event to end. I can respect that to a degree, I think it's ended up with some streamers quite stressed, tired, or receiving harassment. However, I feel like Bad and Dapper are the perfect example of why you can't just tear the eggs from their parents - Dapper is as much a character as Bad is. They're a duo, they compliment one another in their skills, their personalities, ect.

It's Bad and Dapper against the world.

And I really hope they find a way to allow them to stay that way.

#qsmp #qsmp dapper #qsmp badboyhalo #q!bad #qsmp eggs #god I love them so much okay #I was so tempted to be sad in post but Ill do it in the tags #When Bad was showing Forever his farm #he asked if Bad lived out here all alone #to which Bad responded it was him and Dapper.#If Dapper truly does go away #Can you imaine Bad being out there. so far from everyone else so disconnected #all alone? without his link to the world. without his pranking partner and the one who understands how all the machines work #Most of the server doesn't have his waypoint saved!#Who's going to support him through the fall? Who's going to be there to pick him up in the way that the rest have each other?#Gosh man. these eggs.

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starry-teacup · 7 days

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(about your thing with relating to shifty)

im more upset that she uses the vessels against LQ while also dismissing them as important viewpoints and perspectives. in my eyes she is just cherrypicking the parts of those lives that she finds meaningful while ignoring how they were real people that had fears and lives.

and yeah a little bit of taking them from their happy endings to be combined into something they never asked for.. she says they are gifts from lq but its not like he ever chose to give them to her.

(i know you said youre okay to debate but im honestly Terrible at it and i just wanted to share my view because i do have my reasons for preferring the princess(es) over shifty)

Ok. Sorry it took me a day to respond. I’ve been putting my thoughts together on this before i write back

a) not gonna argue there. shifty is manipulative and uses the experiences that she's had with us to try to convince, guiltrip, strong-arm, or really use any form of persuasion to get us to leave with her.

HOWEVER. I do not think that she as a whole ignores that they were real people that had fears and lives. Vessels, hearts, eulogies- shifty speaks to us of the identity of each and every princess as she cradles them in her embrace. She is not ignoring 'their' experiences because they are hers as well, because each and every one of those princesses is her, even if they functioned independently for a time. She does ask the Long Quiet to ignore these, but I don't view this as casting aside the aspects of herself less interesting or useful to her, but trying to convince the Long Quiet to look away from these contradictions, and to stay focused on the more compelling cases for escaping together.

So yes. she's a bit of a sophist. but she doesn't ignore the princesses, just ask the long quiet to

b) i mean… i have a lot of thoughts on this. They were always a part of her, they always were her, they just didn’t know it yet. I think all of them were searching for her, they just didn’t know that’s what it was they were searching for. The most aware of this is the spectre- she senses the longing within her, and realizes that she can’t quite explain what it is or why, just that she needs to be somewhere, rather than try to label it as something else, like the other princesses do. At their core, though, all of the princesses know that they need something, and that the slayer is the gateway to it.

Also…happy ending??? I know the game implies that they might have almost gotten this before being taken away, but let’s think about this for a second. There is no way out of that construct. There are only a hundred feet or so of woods and the cabin. What happy ending awaited them? The player and the princess don’t realize it at the time, but they’re not actually in the real world. They can’t reach the real world. They are trapped there until either a reset happens or they starve or kill each other or something along those lines. None of the princesses can actually escape without reuniting with shifty and rejoining the world. They’re just as trapped in the woods as they are in the cabin. If anything, shifty was actually rescuing them.

#If this seemed mean or angry or discounting your opinion I’m sorry #I didn’t mean it that way #I am enjoying this #En garde and all that #Verbal sparring is how i show affection #Stp #slay the princess #the shifting mound

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littlemonday · 16 days

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The Emperor, The Ending, and that IGN Article

Note: This analysis was originally written and posted on the Larian forums for Baldur's Gate 3. You can find the original forum post here. This analysis includes a number of outside links to other posts I made on the Larian forums as well as the IGN article I'm referencing through out. If you choose to read the original forum post, I have a number of responses through out the thread. You'll recognize which responses are mine because I use the same name on the forums as I do here - LittleMonday.

This analysis first looks at the ending choices in the game, then transitions into a character analysis of The Emperor. Approximately 3,800 words. Lots of spoilers.

Let me first start out by saying that I love this game. It would be entirely unfair to say that this game is anything less than a triumph. The level of skill that goes into a collaborative process such as the making of a video game with a rich story, compelling characters, complex morality, beautiful animation, and an immersive environment is something that should not be hand-waved away. I’ve enjoyed hundreds of hours playing this game. Having said all of that, here’s (yet another) post of “we need to talk about the ending.”

If you’re unfamiliar with the recent-ish IGN interview with game director Swen Vincke and lead writers Adam Smith and Chrystal Ding, you can find it here. I’ll be focusing on their section of the interview concerning The Emperor and the end game choices.

LOTS AND LOTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD.

Let’s talk about the critical decision of siding with Orpheus or The Emperor.

I know a lot of people have pointed out that The Emperor joining the Netherbrain in the end if you side with Orpheus makes no sense, and I think it both does and doesn’t. He has always wanted freedom, and it’s almost certain that the moment he leaves the astral prism without Orpheus’ protection, he’ll be enthralled whether he’s willing or not. The explanation given in the article by Swen and Adam, as well as The Emperor in game, as “survival” feels like a 180 when his ultimate goal has been freedom. Why they chose not to focus on the fact that it’s game over for him as far as his autonomy under this circumstance is puzzling. Which brings me to my next point.

One of my biggest problems with the ending is how contrived the choices are. Along with The Emperor’s 180 mentioned above, Swen and Adam (Chrystal doesn’t say much) seem to have rigidly held on to this plot contrivance of choosing to become a monster, and in doing so, forces a binary ending whether it works within the narrative and gameplay or not.

Swen - “One of the basic questions of the game was whether you would become a monster if it would save the world. So that’s where you get that in that moment. And then the interesting bit was, well, if you’re not going to do it, are you going to ask someone else to do it, or [are] you just going to say, ‘F*ck everybody?’ That’s essentially what that moment was.”

Adam - “There was no way to save the city, save the world without giving up your own identity.”

The thing about a binary choice is that it only works if there truly are no other options available, however, the player has a lot more power and leverage in this situation than the game is willing to let them have. The Emperor wants his freedom and will be enthralled voluntarily or otherwise if he leaves the astral prism and cedes power to Orpheus. It’s also worth mentioning that when you help him defeat the Honour Guard, there’s an option to ask him about assimilating Orpheus, to which he answers that it may not work. So, assimilating is a big risk, and should it fail, he’s back to being a thrall.

Then there’s Orpheus. He cannot leave the astral prism without the players freeing him with the Orphic Hammer and cannot take on the Netherbrain unless he or someone else turns into an illithid. The player has leverage against The Emperor to persuade and/or intimidate him to join with Orpheus, and they also have leverage against Orpheus for the same thing. The whole speech Orpheus gives about how the player should have let his Honour Guard kill them and they would have taken on the Elder Brain before it evolved and became a Netherbrain is either a lie or delusion. You don’t even need to metagame to know this, yet the player has zero dialogue available to call Orpheus on this claim. He and his Honour Guard have been imprisoned in the astral prism for millennia with no means of escape, and no way of impacting the outside world. They weren’t going to stop anything, and yet, through the dialogue choices, the game treats this as though it were a given and that The Emperor held all the cards and kept this from you. He didn’t. He truly is the reason you’re alive to face the Netherbrain. Given the gravity of being on the cusp of The Grand Design, calling Orpheus on the impotence of him and his Honour Guard, and also potentially being under threat of having his brain consumed if he does not cooperate, there is plenty to leverage against Orpheus to get him to at least temporarily ally with the player and The Emperor. If you’ve struck a deal with Voss, you have even more leverage.

Beyond the other options that I believe should be available, I don’t think becoming a monster or “f*ck everybody” comes through in the ending at all. It seems like they expect players to side with Orpheus when there are plenty of role play reasons to side with The Emperor, and then no one has to become a monster, and you still save the city. The Githyanki aren’t even doomed under this ending just like they’re not doomed if Orpheus transforms and dies in the end so he doesn’t live as a mind flayer. If anything, the theme of freedom, autonomy, and alliances, I thought, came through more strongly, both with defeating the Netherbrain and with the companion quests. Under this theme, an option to persuade/intimidate Orpheus and The Emperor to work together actually makes more sense because they have to put aside their hatred for one another to accomplish the same goal of defeating the Netherbrain and obtaining their freedom. The intention seems to have been for the player to make a significant personal sacrifice to save the world, but I just don’t think that it was executed particularly well.

I think this is a good time to say that authorial intent should never be the end of one’s analysis of a text. If an author/director/writer/artist/creator tells you what their intention was, it doesn’t mean the text supports that. We don’t always execute something we create the way we intended to.

And that brings me to the next thing I want to discuss.

Let’s talk about The Emperor as a character.

I want to start out by saying that The Emperor is my favorite character. I enjoy a compelling and nuanced monster that subverts our expectations, and I think The Emperor provides a lot of that while also not living up to his full potential. I’ve already written a post on this forum regarding why I think we need to have a fully fleshed-out romance for The Emperor that you can read here. I’ll be focusing on his writing for this. I wrote at length about what I enjoy about the character in another thread on this forum, that you can find here, but I’ll include a quote:

“What’s unique about The Emperor is how he subverts our expectations. Yes, he’s manipulative, but he never mind controls you. He’s this supposedly asexual creature, yet he’s sexually interested in the player character and is heavily coded as a romantic male lead. He’s also supposed to be this heartless and soulless creature, but expresses care for the player character, and if you romance him, he’s sweet, vulnerable, and sincere. He’s supposed to be part of this hive mind, yet he wants his freedom and actively encourages the player character to form alliances to defeat the Netherbrain. He needs to feed off the brains of others, but avoids the innocent. He may want the player character to change into an illithid, but he leaves that choice entirely to you. He’s alien, yet very human and desires allies and companionship.”

I was under the impression from this interview that Swen largely sees The Emperor as a plot device, while the writers saw him as a character, even if he has a specific purpose in the narrative. There’s even a very awkward part of the interview in which Adam refers to The Emperor as “he,” quickly corrects himself to refer to him as “they,” only for Swen to insist that The Emperor is an “it,” even saying that “we often had this fight” when referring to his pronouns. I personally think that’s a bit revealing, though you may disagree.

For additional context, Swen, Adam, and Chrystal all agree that The Emperor is manipulative and self-serving, but that he never lies to you. Swen will later reiterate this very point when talking about Raphael:

Swen - “Raphael… a lot of what he says you can’t trust, but he is honest. And at one point, if you push him on it, he says, ‘All you are to The Emperor is a pack animal that’s carrying him to where he needs to be.’”

There’s another awkward exchange in which Adam speaks to The Emperor being terrified of going back to the Elder Brain. Swen then remarks:

Swen - “he’s not really terrified he doesn’t have that level of emotion.”

Adam - “Well, yeah, but I think that there’s a level of horror in being… Going back to what he escaped from.”

Now with all of that context laid out, I think his manipulative nature is pretty uncontroversial in the game’s text. He is self-serving - he doesn’t really hide that from you - he speaks in partial truths, and you are a means to an end. At least at first. And, this is where I think he becomes a more complex character whether Swen realizes it or not.

As a side note on how he manipulates the player: there’s this strange bit of dialogue with The Emperor in which you can call him on the fact that he’s hidden information from you throughout your entire alliance, and he responds by acknowledging that, saying that he purposefully lead you to believe that the githyanki Honour Guard were evil beings. I don’t recall this at all. He tells you that they would have killed you because to them you are already illithid, which is all true. It’s a strange bit of dialogue in the end that doesn’t follow what’s been established in the game.

That aside, I’ve heard many people hand-wave away all of his behavior as insincere and solely for the purpose of manipulating the player, however, I think that’s, at best, a shallow reading of the text. He may be manipulating the player character, but that’s hardly the only thing going on, where a character like Raphael is truly only manipulating the player character. In the interview, Swen, Chrystal, and Adam all say that he doesn’t lie, however, I think a more precise way of saying that based on what we see in the game, is that he doesn’t fabricate lies. He doesn’t make up a lie out of whole cloth, but rather omits information that he doesn’t think is relevant, or that doesn’t serve his purpose. Perhaps the most infamous example of this is his relationship with Belynne. As long as you remain on good terms with The Emperor, he frames their relationship as two allies working towards a common goal in The Knights of The Shield. However, if you become hostile, provoke, and dehumanize him, he reveals that Belynne was his unwilling thrall.

I’m hardly the first to point out that this cutscene is a bit suspicious. The timing of such a reveal and The Emperor framing it as “why hide” or “will this make you feel better” is an obvious threat to someone who seems likely to betray you the moment they can. The cutscene also has The Emperor casually revealing his identity to someone other than Belynne, much to this unnamed person’s horror. That is already out of line with how he conducts himself. After her death, we can have this interesting conversation with The Emperor in which he further discusses his relationship with her. With hindsight, it’s obvious that when he says their relationship “was not love” it was “deeper,” and that it was “unique,” he is referring to when she was his thrall. But, he also reveals in some dialogue options that she understood his needs, his desire for freedom, and that she didn’t trust a mind flayer at first, suggesting that she wasn’t initially his thrall. He even describes himself as being “haunted” by memories of her. We don’t know exactly what memories are haunting him, but we do know that the dialogue option with the thrall cutscene, he says to the pc “aren’t you glad I finessed my methods?” Even when he calls you his puppet, at no point in the game will he enthrall you or your party members.

It’s worth mentioning that it is well within DnD lore that mind flayers grow attached to their thralls and mourn their passing, but we later find documents in the game, one from a physician, that when The Emperor came to visit Belynne as her condition progressed, that it eased her “body and mind.” We also find a document suggesting that he was impersonating her through magic as one eye witness account described a floating blue figure, but that it turned out to just be Belynne smiling. I bring all this up because what I believe we’re seeing here is an incomplete portrait of their relationship. I think it suggests that they were once genuine allies before he enthralled her, and that he’s mourning more than just her passing, but also the deterioration of their relationship. I think this also helps to explain why he never enthralls the pc, even if it would mean preventing them from taking some very dangerous paths that jeopardize their mission. The Emperor is an unreliable narrator who speaks in partial truths, so I don’t believe that either version of their relationship you get from him is the whole truth, but is not entirely false either. This game very often takes a more-than-meets-the-eye approach to characters and storylines, so this is well within what we have come to expect from this game. She may have been a means to an end on some level, but she was hardly only a means to an end.

As far as that strange comment from Swen that The Emperor “does not have that level of emotion,” we actually feel his fear regarding the Elder Brain as it’s breaking free from the crown’s control. If the pc romances him, we literally feel that he cares for the pc, and in some interactions of this scene he’ll tell the pc that he enjoys their mind, and refers to their relationship as a bond of love. Before the final battle, one of the NPCs invokes Balduran’s name right before battle, and if you’ve allied with The Emperor, you feel his amusement that they have no idea who he once was. There’s even that scene with the Guardian at the beginning of Act 2 in which a successful insight check reveals that he is hiding the depth of his pain. I know there’s that note that The Emperor left for Ansur about no longer feeling his feelings, but he clearly does feel. He even describes the grief he feels over Belynne as “not entirely unwelcome.” The Emperor is an arrogant and prideful character, and he doesn’t seem to be entirely self aware as to his own humanity because he sees himself, as a mind flayer, to be superior.

For most endings, The Emperor will just depart after defeating the Netherbrain, much like the other companions who also go their separate ways. So, I don’t think this is necessarily an indication that the pc was merely a means to an end. However, (big spoilers here) there are two endings in which he does reveal his feelings for the pc. In a solo ending in which the pc doesn’t transform, he’ll tell them “you have become… important to me. And should our paths cross again, I will be glad to see you.” There’s also an ending where, if the pc transforms into an illithid, he will ask to stay together to rebuild the Knights of the Shield. There’s an option to tell him to think bigger, at which point he’ll say to them “Have I ever told you how much I enjoy you? Lead the way…”

I also want to note that right before the above mentioned exchange with The Emperor, the Narrator has a line that in being a mind flayer, all your companions become tools or food, but then contrasts that with:

“Perhaps you are unique among illithid-kind. Perhaps you will retain enough of who you are to resist your nature. A rogue mind flayer. Like The Emperor.”

This is a pretty straightforward acknowledgement that The Emperor does have the capacity for relationships beyond mere tools for his use.

All this is to say that there seems to be some genuine relationship building with The Emperor, which makes it, in some ways, more strange that he’s so quick to abandon the player and join the Netherbrain should you choose to free Orpheus. Many players have noted that trust is one way with The Emperor, and if that’s the angle Swen and the writers were going with him, then why have The Emperor demonstrate trust in the pc’s leadership? Yes, there are moments in the game in which he admonishes the pc, disagrees with them, attempts to persuade them away from a decision, hell even probes their mind if they lie to him about the meeting with Raphael, but he’s actually very reasonable when it comes to the pc’s autonomy and decision making. If you save the Grove, he’ll even compliment you on your leadership. He’s so hands off in so many ways, but when he does interject about certain quests like the Crèche, Ansur, or The House of Hope, those are extraordinarily dangerous quests that risk everything. They risk you, him, and anyone left behind to be subjected to the Grand Design, but he never stops you. He actually does demonstrate a lot of trust in the pc even if they’re not the most reliable at times.

I said earlier that I think the intended ending was to have the player join with Orpheus, then the pc, or one of the companions turns into an illithid. This requires a sacrifice and sets up this dramatic encounter with The Emperor in which he rides in on a red dragon and summons your dream guardians to fight you. This could have been a powerful moment, however, I think it largely falls flat when you have this forced binary decision with a character, who may be unlikable, but is actually pretty reasonable throughout. If you’ve romanced The Emperor, or are at least on friendly terms, this binary ignores the prior relationship development of the pc being more than a means to an end by not at least allowing for some kind of exchange and option for striking an alliance.

But, let’s just say you have romanced The Emperor, but the twist is that you are merely a means to an end. Well, that’s not clearly laid out either. There’s no moment to confront him, and the only acknowledgment of an intimate relationship comes when he castigates the pc and reminds them that they didn’t “reject” him, but “enjoyed” him. (If anything, that implies you used him). He just leaves and that's that. Along with everything I laid out earlier, it’s not so much a twist, as it’s incomplete writing. This isn’t even the only example of incomplete writing. Remember how your companions were able to witness your night with The Emperor but no one said anything the next morning? The so-called fix was to have The Emperor wipe their memories without any regard for the implications. The pc doesn’t have a dialogue option regarding such an action, and the only vague textual clue that this is something he does is that he may have done some memory manipulation with Belynne’s doctor. However, the doctor can still recall a lot of details of The Emperor’s visits, she just has trouble recalling his appearance. He either doesn’t or can’t completely erase her memory of his visits, even though she finds him suspicious and erasing her memory entirely might be safer for him to do. Other than that, it’s just the one line he speaks that was thrown into the game a couple of patches in. Even then the companions still don’t react to the “enjoyed me” line, or the “fornicated with a mind flayer” line if you side with Orpheus. We love hearing our companions react, so why not have that in there? It would certainly be more entertaining at the very least.

Whether these inconsistencies come down to creative differences between Swen and the two lead writers is speculation. No one was in the writing room with any of them, but this interview was, nonetheless, enlightening in some respects. I do hope that at some point The Emperor can be a fully realized character, and one that’s in line with the depth he is given in the game. And I would hope that would go along with additional ending choices that better reflect the narrative that comes before that crucial decision. A binary choice like the one we currently have doesn’t work for many playthroughs, even if it may work for some. I would like to see that someday reflected in our final choices.

Lastly, while I’ve laid out a fair amount of criticism in this post, my intention was not to cynically nitpick every inconsistency. I even deleted some things I originally planned on including here, because I realized that not all plot contrivances actually weaken the story. I want to repeat that I still love this game, and when I say it’s a triumph, I do sincerely mean that. I know all too often fans may request changes to the game or characters as a sort of wish fulfillment, but those changes would ultimately end up undermining the narrative or themes. I’ve tried my best to avoid that here, and I hope I have.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #the emperor #the emperor bg3 #media criticism #media analysis #spoilers #baldurs gate 3

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thearcanawearcrocs · 5 months

Text

As a poly person myself I find the potential dynamics of an mc who is dating two or more of the main 6 fascinating so I’ve decided to rank them. For simplicity’s sake I’ve decided to only do the dynamic of an mc dating two of the main 6 for now but I’m happy to make more later if people are interested

Asra and Nadia

Interesting but I see them more as friends

I think they would both be eager to provide mc with anything they could possibly want

Nadia clearly values Asra’s opinion and they have a mutual respect and friendship

I think they could pretty easily share mc

4/10

Asra and Julian

These two have a lot of history together

I think it would be fascinating to watch them rekindle their old relationship but this time with more healthy and open communication and under better circumstances

Julian and Asra bonding as two people who have given everything to keep you alive/bring you back

Overall I really enjoy this one

Lots of potential for angst

9/10

Asra and Muriel

Childhood besties who only have each other for so long and now they are both dating the same person? Absolutely

I love the idea of mc dating both of them

It makes a lot of sense for them to become a triad

I think it would be a very positive experience for everyone involved

10/10

Asra and Portia

This would be fun but I personally don’t see a lot of romance coming with it

Asra and Portia would be adventure buddies and drag mc across the earth to show them the world

I think Faust and Pepi would get along

3/10

Asra and Lucio

Now this is fascinating to me

These two do not like each other at all in canon and have had almost no positive interactions

However I find the idea of them strangely compelling

I think it a world where mc chose Lucio it would be neat to watch Asra struggle to put aside his own feelings about Lucio to keep his apprentice close

It would get messy but honestly that’s part of what makes it interesting

7/10

Nadia and Julian

Another one that I think would come fairly easily

Nadia and Julian have chemistry in canon and I don’t think either one of them would object to mc also being in the mix

As countess Nadia can afford to take care of two partners

5/10

Nadia and Muriel

This one’s cute

Nadia who lives to shower her loved ones in gifts and luxury vs Muriel who struggles to believe he deserves basic comfort

You can’t tell me Nadia wouldn’t love to slip away into the woods from time to time to get away from the stress of her work

Also Nadia proving herself to be nothing like Lucio as a leader and taking steps to correct the issues in the city that hurt Muriel most

9/10

Nadia and Portia

I mean yeah absolutely

The two of them already fall in love in routes where mc doesn’t choose either of them so why wouldn’t they also fall in love in a route where mc did?

The trust and affection they already have for one another would be a pretty solid foundation to add mc to

10/10

Nadia and Lucio

I mean they were once married

Nadia would hold Lucio to his word and encourage his efforts to make amends for what he’s done wrong

I think she is one of the main 6 who would be able to forgive him fully with enough time and if she saw him putting in real effort

I also love the idea of her knowing Lucio the way he was before dying and being able to truly see and appreciate the difference

Lucio seems to harbor no real ill will towards Nadia either and I think they could make peace with one another

7/10

Julian and Muriel

The loudest most dramatic man you know breaks down the door of the most introverted quiet guy in existence

This can only end well

I think that they honestly would end up getting along but it would take a while

They would balance each other out in some respects

I think they would also eventually bond over trauma. They both lost their families at a young age, were both hurt by Lucio and have permanent physical marks of that trauma, and both struggle to see themselves as worthy of good things

If they don’t kill each other in the first month I think they could be great together

8/10

Julian and Portia

I mean they’re siblings so

I guess mc could just be dating both separately but that still feels weird to me

0/10

Julian and Lucio

I love these two together a lot

Julian “I only consider others and never myself” devorak meets Lucio “I only consider myself and not others” morgasson

It would be so incredibly messy

They will absolutely hurt one another but I think they may also help one another grow a great deal

They are both very dramatic and passionate and would play off one another well

10/10

Muriel and Portia

This is cute

I think Portia would be incredibly understanding

Her constant optimism and belief in those around her would be very good for Muriel I think

Also they are both animal lovers which is important

7/10

Muriel and Lucio

Oh god no

I don’t think Muriel ever could (or really ever should) forgive Lucio for what he’s done to him

I love Lucio but what he did to Muriel is beyond fucked and I truly could not see the two of them ever being able to be so much a friends

Could be an interesting dynamic to play with in a dark fic though

1/10

Portia and Lucio

Lucio would be like her silly little guy

I think Portia would be fine with having him around

Lucio would think she was a lot of fun

Portia is the character who was hurt by lucio the least and so I believe she would be one of the first to be able to forgive him

6/10

#the arcana #arcana #lucio #count lucio #the arcana lucio #muriel #the arcana muriel #julian #julian devorak #the arcana julian #the arcana nadia #nadia satrinava #portia devorak #muriel arcana #asra arcana

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aroanthy · 4 months

Text

thinking about nanami and touga both telling utena not to trust anthy at the end of the series. whilst nanami and anthy being friends is something that makes me bawl like a little baby and overjoys me immensely, ive never bought a reading of nanami post-32 that is anthy positive. like idk how you could get that impression when all she does is talk about how anthy is a terrible and dangerous person. she’s scared of her. and you know she shouldn’t be, but it’s understandable why a 13 year old living in ohtori academy might be scared of someone she already didn’t like after finding out something deeply traumatic regarding them and not having the tools to make sense of it in a compassionate way. and it makes me want to eat drywall

what’s really interesting about all this to me tho is how both kiryuus tell utena not to trust ‘the chairman/end of the world or himemiya anthy/the rose bride’. anthy and akio are a package deal of toxicity and harm to both of them and if that isn’t just the most fascinating thing ever. also the difference between nanami’s ‘chairman/himemiya’ and touga’s ‘end of the world/rose bride’ (nanami giving her warning during the badminton scene, touga giving his at the end of his duel. so much going on here wrt roles and settings and rituals and reality). but getting back to my real point isn’t it so cool (agonising) how nanami and touga are incapable of extending compassion or understanding to anthy despite the fact that they’re the two people who know the most about her other than utena and akio. and like. they don’t know a Lot, but theyve both had a smidge of insight into an abusive relationship that mirrors aspects of their own lives in myriad ways

idk something about the rose bride as a symbol who bears all of humanity’s hatred. and in the end all girls are like the rose bride yes, but key word here is like. an approximation; all trapped, all agonised, yes, but not all literally fucking crucified for eternity by a million swords that shine with human hatred. not abstracted in such a particular and insidious way. i always find anthy/kiryuu parallels compelling wrt issues of race and class and mannnnnn. nanami takes a step away from the duelling game. she’s not out, but she’s not actively partaking, not actively being exploited. touga, whilst a little more overtly involved in stuco business and still meeting with akio, does also take a step away. like, they’re both able to do that. it’s a bit of an artifice, sure, they’re still here, but oh my god oh my god oh my god. theyre not anthy. am i making sense can anyone hear me holy shit

i think what im trying to say is that for everything that both nanami and touga learn about ohtori academy and the people living in it, for everything that forces them to self-reflect and question the ground that they stand upon, they fail to break the chain with it. like, they too contribute to anthy’s abstraction. she’s an idea that they secretly embody/emulate (not sure which word works better for what im trying to say just yet), and not a person who shares experiences with them but is still wholly separate from them. this kind of compassion is like. it’s too hard, when you’re in the situations that all three of them are in. anthy too perceives both of them as nonhuman, but there is a crucial power dynamic at play here. how can you stomach such a kindness to someone you can only see as a poor imitation of the worst parts of yourself, whom you loathe??

^ THIS GUY loves it when characters commit acts of extreme violence against one another that they themselves have experienced. the nanamianthytouga brand

#big ramble tldr i am compelled by stabbing. lots of it. of the self and others (which are muddled by your misperceptions)#yum yum yum #dais.txt #obfuscation abventures

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silverwhittlingknife · 1 year

Note

How do you feel about Jack Drake?? What are your thoughts on him and Tim’s relationship?

Anon, I hope you were interested in a novel, because look, I am fascinated by Jack Drake. He’s key to a whole lot of what I find compelling about Tim as a character, and if I were in charge of DC, I’d bring him back to life. This would make Tim unhappy but would IMO make for good plotlines.

Jack and Tim’s relationship is Complicated (TM)...

Jack and Tim hug in Nightwing 20 / Jack impulsively yanks a TV out of the wall in Robin 45 / Tim grieves in Identity Crisis

“I could tell the truth. But I don’t.” - Robin 66

...and it involves a whole lot of Tim lying, and feeling guilty about lying, and thinking about telling the truth, and choosing again and again to keep lying.

And I think that’s great.

Below the cut:

Shorter version - key points about Jack

Really long version - my gentler take (vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports) vs. my harsher take (Jack has some major flaws)

Final thoughts

Shorter version - key points about Jack:

He’s a bad parent. He’s self-centered, he consistently prioritizes his own comfort and interests over his son’s, and when upset, he does things like order Tim off to boarding school.

But he’s never a bad parent in an actionable way. He’s not like David Cain or Arthur Brown, who are abusive monsters. Jack’s not a monster! He just...kinda sucks.

He genuinely loves Tim. If Jack’s aware that Tim’s disappeared or is in trouble, he’s always worried and upset. He periodically resolves to be a better dad, and IMO he’s always sincere.

And Tim loves him, a lot. Tim’s protective of him and worries about him when he’s kidnapped or in danger, and when they’re reunited, Tim’s really relieved and usually hugs him (and Jack hugs back!).

...But they have very little in common, and that’s a problem. Jack doesn’t value the things that Tim values, or respect the people that Tim admires, or care about the things that Tim’s interested in. Tim lies to him a lot, but that’s partly because he correctly guesses Jack wouldn’t respond well if he knew the truth of what Tim’s up to.

The Batfamily is a surrogate family that Tim’s drawn to because of the ways his real family doesn’t meet his emotional needs…but also he feels guilty about that and disloyal. (And to the extent that his dad recognizes what’s going on, he's jealous and resentful!)

Very long version:

(LISTEN I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS)

Okay! So first: Jack’s a character who IMO is pretty up for interpretation. You can interpret him very charitably, and make excuses for the bad behavior, and fill in the blanks sympathetically when situations are ambiguous; or you can interpret him uncharitably, and emphasize the bad behavior. I don’t think either approach is invalid - it depends on what kind of story you’re interested in! I have enjoyed Bad Dad stories and also stories that redeem Jack.

My personal take on canon is that Jack and Tim’s relationship is in a gray area. Jack's definitely neglectful, and he does prioritize other things over Tim, but he’s never so bad that Tim can easily reject him, and he's never so bad that Bruce could justify taking Tim away. He's just...not great. Tim loves him, and feels loyal to him, but it’s a very mixed-up complicated love.

I have a gentler take and a harsher one which I switch between as the spirit moves me. xD

My Gentler Take (tl;dr: vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports)

Here’s the core conflict: Jack and Tim are very different people with different values. Tim idolizes Bruce and Dick and vigilantism, and secretly gets involved, knowing his dad will hate it. He gets increasingly wrapped up in his secret world and lies to his dad...because if his dad finds out, he’ll make Tim quit.

This is a great setup for an ongoing comic. It’s practical, because it provides endless potential for plotlines, and it’s nicely thematic, because it maps closely onto relatable real-life situations with extracurricular activities:

Tim the drama nerd whose dad thinks he’s playing football and not in the school play;

Tim the closeted-queer kid secretly getting involved in his school’s politically-active Gay-Straight Alliance;

Tim the choir kid whose dad only values making money and wants him to go into the family business (and Tim keeps promising himself he'll give up choir soon, definitely soon, but maybe he'll stay in just a liiiittle longer, because they need him, you see, the last tenor left town, so...);

Tim the computer geek with the sports-obsessed dad (this one’s just canon);

etc. etc.

The extracurricular metaphor works pretty well for Tim’s relationship to vigilantism. Tim's involved in his "extracurricular" because he genuinely thinks it's important and fulfilling, and he values it and wants to be good at it. He idolizes Bruce and Dick because they're good at it. He's been collecting information about it since he was a little kid, and hiding it from his parents because he knows they wouldn't approve. And mayyyybe there's also an element of low-key rebellion against his dad, and maybe that's secretly part of the appeal. And yet also as Tim gets more and more invested, he starts to daydream: maybe I could tell my dad and he'd be proud of me and supportive. But he doesn't, because actually he knows his dad would be upset and angry and make him quit.

And - again, just like with lonely kids and extracurricular hobbies - one of the things that happens is that Tim starts getting his unfilled emotional needs met ... by people he knows through this secret hobby. And people like Bruce and Dick start turning into a surrogate family. Which Tim feels guilty about. And also as Tim gets more and more wrapped up in their world, he has to lie to his dad even more, which means the distance between Tim and his dad gets bigger and bigger and more and more unfixable.

I love this dilemma. It's simple, it's recognizable, it provides endless sources for conflict, and there's no obvious solution! Tim can't tell Jack: he'll make Tim quit! And Tim doesn't want to quit, because he loves choir / art / theater / whatever. Yeah, it’s difficult, and there are challenges, and sometimes he has doubts...but at the end of the day, he cares about it a lot. And everything he values is there, and all the people he admires and cares about are there, and all he wants in the world is to feel like he's one of them and belongs there. So he has to lie, even though he doesn't want to lie, and he feels guilty about it...

...but also he ends up lying more and more.

(Sidenote: I think it's important that Tim chooses to keep lying - Tim's narration often glosses this as "I have to lie to my dad," and that's certainly how it feels to Tim, but this... isn't quite true. He has to lie to his dad, because if he doesn't, his dad will get mad at him and try to stop him, not because he literally has no choice about it.)

Other Reasons Why I Like The "Secret Extracurricular" Interpretation

(tl;dr it complicates not just Tim's relationship with his dad, but also all his other relationships)

Tim's problems have some obvious parallels to Steph and Cass, who both become vigilantes while rejecting their evil supervillain dads. But Jack isn't evil. And that means the Tim-and-Jack relationship is ambiguous and complicated in ways that I like. Steph and Cass can just leave their Bad Dads in prison, and say good riddance, and feel very righteous and triumphant about it! Tim’s more complicated. Tim gets into vigilantism ostensibly out of duty and altruism, but secretly, he's also involved for straight-up selfish self-fulfillment reasons. He's lonely, and bored, and his life feels pointless, but he thinks that Bruce and Dick are cool and amazing and he wants to be a part of the things that they do. When his dad gets jealous of Tim’s relationship to Bruce, and feels like Tim’s looking for a surrogate family, he’s... not wrong.

And the ways in which Jack is not Actionably Bad complicate things from Bruce's POV. If Jack was a straight-up villain, it’d be an easy call to keep in touch when Jack finds out and makes Tim quit...but he’s not a villain, not really. So what do you do? Do you try to surreptitiously stay in touch with Tim even though you’re ignoring his dad’s express wishes and thus forcing Tim to sneak around? Do you respect his dad’s wishes and stay away from Tim even though you have a years-long relationship at this point?

Again: a bit similar to the extracurricular analogy. Say you’re the choir director and you’ve built this whole relationship with a kid in the choir, and you’re an important mentor to him and you care about him etc. etc. etc.... and then right before a big performance, his dad finds out he’s been secretly involved, and yanks him out. How would you react? Well, maybe kind of in some of the ways Bruce reacts. You replace him. You’re annoyed with him. You miss him. You want him to come back. You’re also worried about him. You’re upset with his dad. But also... what should you do, exactly?

Bruce and Alfred and Dick care about Tim as if he were part of their family, but he’s not part of their family, and there’s a lot of interesting tension there.

My Harsher Take

Jack never hits his son. But his temper is a big deal.

In his worst moments, he takes out his anger on Tim’s stuff - wrecking his room, or ripping his TV out of the wall and confiscating it. When he’s worried about Tim, he usually expresses that fear by yelling at him / punishing him / sending him away - threatening to send him to boarding school in Metropolis in Robin III, or threatening to send him to military school abroad in Robin 92, or actually forcing him to go to an all-boys' boarding school post-NML.

This is bad behavior! It is Not Good!

And you can easily connect the dots to a bunch of Tim’s terrible coping mechanisms, like the constant lying and or the fact that Tim’s go-to methods for dealing with interpersonal conflict are 1) repress it and pretend it never happened (most of his fights with Bruce), 2) withdraw from the relationship until he can pretend the conflict doesn’t exist (when his friends get mad at him in YJ, he quits the team for a while), or 3) literally run away from home.

Also, Jack is a Manly Man with firm opinions about how men behave vs. how women behave, and he thinks boys shouldn’t be scared and thinks Tim should date hot girls and pushes Tim to work out and wants him to play football and expresses period-typical sexism, etc. etc. etc. ... and though obviously this wasn’t what the writers had in mind at the time, all of that is certainly interesting to read backwards in the light of Tim as a queer character.

More Disorganized Thoughts on Jack Drake

Tim’s our hero, so we’re naturally more sympathetic to him, but it’s also true that relationships are a two-way street, and Tim doesn’t value any of the things his dad values, either. Jack at various points is shown to care about grades, business, money, boarding schools, archeology, football, a kind of macho bragging-about-dating-hot-women ethos, and a very public and performative kind of caring. Tim tends to respond with discomfort or disinterest or even disgust. When Jack gets on TV to try to rally the government to save his son from No Man’s Land, Tim isn’t touched—he’s mortified. When Jack makes some bad investments and loses money, Jack’s deeply upset and his self-image is majorly impacted, and far from being sympathetic, Tim’s annoyed and kind of contemptuous of the idea that this is a problem. Jack thinks fishing in the early morning and going to tennis matches is a fun father-son activity; Tim finds it exhausting and tedious. And so on.

This means that Tim often longs to be closer to his dad in theory, but this longing is more tied to fantasy than to reality. He rarely seems to enjoy spending time with His-Dad-The-Actual-Person. So for example, when Tim’s deadly ill with the Clench, he has an extremely poignant fever dream about telling his dad the truth and getting hugged…even as he insists in real-life to Alfred and Dick that he does not want them to tell his dad what’s going on.

The same is true of Jack, who IMO genuinely wants to be closer to his son and is continually declaring that he’s going to turn over a new leaf and get closer to his son…and just as continually backs out of activities or loses his temper when faced with spending time with his actual son.

Tim and his dad sadly get along best—by far—in Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder situations. When Jack gets kidnapped or is in danger, Tim worries for him (and Tim grieves him deeply when he dies). When Tim disappears or runs away, Jack’s genuinely worried about him. So e.g. they have a really moving emotional reunion and hug when the earthquake hits Gotham, and Tim panics about his dad’s safety and comes running home (and meanwhile Jack’s been panicked about Tim’s safety!). It’s the day-to-day, regular life stuff where they don’t connect.

Jack's written quite differently by different writers. Mostly, Tim's parents are at their least likable in his early appearances and early miniseries (this is where you get, for example, Jack and Janet being nasty at each other while a pained employee looks on, and Tim disappointed to once again get news of where his parents are via postcard - "I guess that sums them up! Never know where they’re going to be–or when–or even how long!” - and Tim alone on school break, and Bruce and Alfred thinking there's something weird going on with Tim's parents, etc. etc.). Jack's more sympathetic but still often unlikable in most of Tim's Robin solo, and he's almost invisible (but positively treated if he does show up) in Tim's team books.

For obvious reasons, Jack's remembered way more sympathetically after his death. Tim's completely devastated by Jack's murder, which he arrives moments too late to prevent, and he basically never gets over it. We see him grieving Jack again and again in Robin, and also in Teen Titans, and also in Resurrection, and again in the Halloween Special, and again in Batman: Blackest Night, and all the way up to the end of Red Robin. Tim also grieves for an extended time over Janet - he hallucinates a happy reunion with her when he's feverish in Contagion, and hallucinates her in the final issue of Robin, and the reveal-your-buried-emotions song in Robin 102 brings up his grief for her too (meanwhile, other characters dance or laugh or otherwise get giddy). Tim’s grief over his parents’ deaths is intense and long-lasting.

I'm not going to clip comic panels because this is long enough, but if you're curious, here's a nice and fairly lengthy compilation of comic panels with Tim and Jack.

If you're interested in a Jack-centric story with a softer-but-still-recognizably-canon take on Jack, I really like the way Jack’s narration is written in the one-shots Heart Humble (set shortly before Jack dies) and Never a Hero (Ra's resurrects him during Brucequest, and Jack's archeology skills turn out to be unexpectedly useful).

#tim drake #jack drake #ask tag #i wrote this ages ago and now i can't remember what i was going to add to it so oh well draft amnesty? sorry for the long wait anon!! <333 #anyway i kept this carefully on topic and virtuously did not derail into talking about the other blorbo but tags are for disorganization SO #for me this kinda half-in half-out place where tim is with the batfamily is SUCH an interesting part of his relationship with dick #and i never stop turning it over in my head #he's kiiiinda replaced dick in that he's robin - but in a very real way he *hasn't* - he's NOT bruce's new son the way jason was #and early!tim makes a BIG POINT of how bruce is not his dad #and i think this relative distance from bruce is a huge factor in why dick is able to build a close relationship with tim at all #(because dick's still pretty estranged from bruce!)#and there's such interesting tension there when dick starts jokingly calling tim ''little brother'' or when villains call them brothers #because they're NOT. increasingly they would both LIKE to be brothers! but dick has zero official standing in tim's life #if tim got hit by a car in his civilian identity bruce and dick wouldn't even be able to visit him without his dad's permission #which jack would be pretty unlikely to give! jack doesn't like or trust bruce!#or like. this is morbid. but if tim died. dick wouldn't even be invited to the funeral you know?#and there's such interesting tension there for me in the contrast between this vigilante relationship that's very very close #but in their civilian lives no one would assume they're anything in particular to each other #anyway the 1st half of tim's robin solo has this thread of tension between tim's family life vs. his vigilante life (plus his mom's death)#and then the second half + red robin has the thread of struggling with grief in a world that's not fair + feeling lost/alone #and these two threads are a big part of my interest in tim as a character! jack's the backdrop that makes a lot of stories possible

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antianakin · 2 months

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So I was recommended Out With Lanterns by SkyBean in this post about other potential masters for Ahsoka back in October, and I've finally gotten around to finishing it (as well as most of the other fics in the series) and I HAVE to say something about it because I feel like this fic has changed my brain chemistry just a little.

For reference, Out With Lanterns is a fic where Ahsoka is chosen by Mace to be his Padawan about a year or so prior to AOTC and follows her life and training with him through the clone wars.

Since this is a fic rec, I'm going to put a few warnings out front. There's absolutely going to be spoilers for this fic because I have a lot to say about it, so if you are interested in the basic premise and don't want to know any of the details so you can experience it for yourself, please don't read past this paragraph. This fic is NOT Anakin friendly, in any way shape or form. It isn't what I would consider a character bashing and he only shows up like 3-4 times total in a fic that's 300k words long, but it doesn't try to be particularly kind to Anakin when he is there. It's also not super kind to Padme or Anidala, unsurprisingly. The fic is completed, but the series is still ongoing. This fic takes the war a LOT more seriously than the show did and it doesn't shy away from some of the darker things that can happen in a war or the violence that the characters might have to go through as a result of fighting in it. Some of the other fics in the series continue past Order 66 and look more in detail at what life might be like for Jedi who have to go on the run and constantly fear persecution. It's dark, it's painful, it's harrowing, but it's VERY very good. This fic is also INCREDIBLY pro Jedi and Jedi friendly.

On to the spoilery bits.

I've been sort-of on the fence about Ahsoka since her show came out last year and it's embittered me towards her character quite a bit, which is sort-of sad because I HAVE really enjoyed her in the past, but nothing about her current trajectory is anything I like or find interesting and in fact it feels like it's leading that branch of Star Wars in a direction I find actively distasteful. And it's hard to look at her character and not REMEMBER where she's ended up, it's hard to look at her in TCW and Rebels and not see all the things that were signs of where she was heading.

But this fic has done a lot to make me like her again. This fic is written by someone who so clearly understands what made Ahsoka a really compelling character initially and focuses in on that in such a way that it makes me remember what I HAVE liked about Ahsoka. It allows Ahsoka to be incredibly flawed, even as she grows and develops and matures, she still makes mistakes and struggles and needs guidance from her master. But those flaws don't make her incompetent or a bad person, quite the opposite. Ahsoka, by virtue of having a real Jedi Master instead of Anakin, ends up capable of acknowledging her own flaws and learning from them. She knows where her strengths and weaknesses are and is able to make decisions with that in mind, and when she makes mistakes she doesn't sit there and dwell on them, but she DOES let herself learn from them. Ahsoka in this fic does not feel like a mouthpiece, she feels like a real distinct character and I LOVE THAT about her.

I love the ways we see her become the Jedi she can't be in canon due to Anakin's influence, the ways she retains so much more of her Jedi heritage as a result of not learning from him, and how that helps her SO MUCH MORE than anything Anakin's training does for her in canon. I also love seeing how much of MACE gets reflected in Ahsoka, the things she specifically picks up from him, both good and bad.

I love the complexities of Ahsoka's relationship with the clones and how it develops from the first initial overtures to the deep friendships she has with them by the end to the complicated feelings she has after Order 66 and after discovering the chips. Her relationships with the various clone characters she interacts with don't feel like they're all the same, they're distinct from each other the way they should be because the CLONES are distinct from each other. I like the balance she has to manage between being their commanding officer and their friend. I like that she can love them and recognize that there are things about the clones that she doesn't want to replicate in herself because it would make her a worse Jedi. In particular, she understands that there's a REASON the war feels very "normal" for the clones and so their reaction to the horrors of it are very different than hers, but she doesn't want to end up becoming numb to the horrors to the point that war starts feeling normal to her because she feels like it would end up making her a worse Jedi down the line. I love the complexity of that, the lack of judgment towards the clones but the recognition that their experiences are very different from hers and she cannot and does not want to be like them in this.

I also love that there's equal attention paid to Ahsoka's relationships with other Jedi and how distinct THOSE feel from each other because the Jedi are also individual people and not a monolith. Her relationship with Adi Gallia is very different from her relationship with Obi-Wan or Agen Kolar or Kit Fisto and Nahdar Vebb. She learns different things from each of them, intentionally or not, and she likes some of them better than others. I love how much Ahsoka loves her own culture and the different ways we see that expressed, from needing to meditate every day to the many times we hear about her interacting with younglings when she's at the Temple. Ahsoka finally FEELS like a Jedi again here and that identity actually means something to her in a way I think canon has sort-of forgotten or intentionally dismissed.

One of the things I think this fic REALLY does well is taking Ahsoka's general irrelevance to the Skywalker Saga and making that a GOOD THING. Ahsoka being Mace's padawan changes nothing. The people who die in canon still die. The war still happens. In general, the missions we know about from TCW still happen and happen almost exactly the same way. Anakin still marries Padme and still joins Palpatine to save her and murders the Jedi. Ahsoka's addition to Anakin's story changes exactly nothing about it because it CAN'T. She isn't the reason he falls, she doesn't save him and never could have, everything he does happens with or without her. So removing her from his story changes exactly nothing about it. But the change in her position within the narrative does change HER. SHE'S impacted by the narrative far more than it can ever be impacted by her. And her irrelevance to the Skywalker Saga doesn't mean she isn't a compelling character anymore, she's almost MORE compelling now than she's ever been before specifically because she's more outside of it and can see it from that perspective. Ahsoka is compelling because she's AHSOKA, not because she's Anakin's padawan the way Felony seems to think. She can be compelling WITHOUT HIM if they would just believe in her ability to tell her own story. And she doesn't need to be relevant to the Skywalker Saga in order for her story to be important simply for being HERS. She has a story to tell and it's a good one, even if nothing major changes because of it.

I love the way that that is woven into the fic because I kept EXPECTING things to change due to Ahsoka not being Mace's padawan. I kept expecting her presence to save some of the people who die during TCW, I kept expecting endings to change somehow, and they just... don't. And even when it DOES, right at the end, when she escapes with some younglings and an injured Mace, and they apparently go on to create an underground Jedi Order, it doesn't change the end of the story in the OT. Luke and Leia still go to Tatooine and Alderaan, they still end up fighting on and over Endor as the final battle, Luke still goes off alone to face Anakin and Palpatine and that confrontation goes exactly the way it did in canon. Ahsoka's presence and the things her new backstory have changed in the background of the narrative have no actual bearing on the major Skywalker Saga. But there are more Jedi survivors in this AU than there are in canon, an entire Order that has been slowly piecing itself together in secrecy for the last 20 years, and even though that doesn't change the actual story, it's not nothing. It's not insignificant that they survived and they're there.

And I think the last thing I will discuss that I absolutely adore about this fic is Anakin's padawan. This character is an OC created seemingly to be a foil for Ahsoka, a mirror into the person she could've been had she ended up with Anakin instead of Mace, a reflection of her canon self even though neither Ahsoka nor this new padawan would ever be able to know that. I love the way that this allows the author to make that comparison for the readers without it being super in your face about it. Ahsoka isn't facing a literal reflection of herself and the new padawan IS her own person with her own personality and struggles, but she still definitely feels like "who Ahsoka would've become if she hadn't been saved by Mace."

The new padawan isn't supported by Anakin, but she's really close with Rex. She ends up feeling almost DEFINED by her years with Anakin and can't really connect to her Jedi upbringing anymore after Order 66 even though she spent far longer without Anakin than she did with him. She's young enough that she can't see the truth about his darkness and defends him to others no matter what, even though she admits after Order 66 that there were signs she can see now and blames herself for not being able to see the truth of them then. She succumbs to her own darkness because it's the path Anakin guided her down and she can't quite figure out how to get back onto the path of a Jedi, no matter how much Ahsoka and Mace try to help her. She's lost, floundering in her own darkness because the person who was supposed to guide her towards balance ended up isolating her from the rest of the Jedi and making her feel dependent on him and then he discarded her like she never mattered to him at all.

And I LOVE how broken and shattered she is, I love how consumed she is by her pain and grief and anger because she's known little else for like two years, I love the way she lashes out because she doesn't know how to control it, I love how difficult she finds it to act like a Jedi anymore, I love how much she feels like she doesn't know who she is anymore. THIS is what I wanted to see Ahsoka struggling with in the aftermath of her revelation about Anakin. THIS is the kind of person I wanted Ahsoka to be in the Ahsoka show. THIS is why I can't agree with anybody saying that she came across as particularly unkind or prickly or broken at the beginning of that show because she really isn't. She's BARELY upset every so often, she's SO calm and in control at all times. I wanted to see her ANGRY, I wanted to see her LOSE CONTROL, I wanted to see her lashing out at people who are just trying to help her because she's lost all sense of who she is in the wake of realizing the person who had guided her on her current path became a monster and she has no idea how much of that has impacted the person she's become and how much it will CONTINUE to impact her going forward. I wanted to see Ahsoka GENUINELY STRUGGLE with the things that have happened to her and see her REALLY changed by it all before being able to come back to herself in the end. And that's not what I was given. Not until this series entered my life, anyway, and it's not even technically happening to Ahsoka herself.

(I'll also point out here that at no point does the padawan ever say anything Jedi critical. Even as an Ahsoka foil who is partially representative of canon Ahsoka, she never falls so far that she blames the Jedi for their own genocide. So despite how much more she's struggling than canon Ahsoka does, she's still a better person than canon Ahsoka has become.)

So if you hated the Ahsoka show, loved the Kenobi show, and want something that's immensely Jedi friendly and Anakin critical that takes things like the war and Order 66 and the ensuing Purge VERY seriously, give this series a whirl. It's definitely an epic (and it's not done yet) and I had to take breaks every so often by reading something a little more light-hearted, but it's SO worth it.

#star wars #ahsoka tano #mace windu #the clone wars #fic #fic rec #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #i'll leave this in the tags but the fact that ahsoka HATES anakin immediately and never changes that opinion gives me LIFE #it gave me like five years of my life back - the fives years stolen by the ahsoka show probably #ahsoka telling anakin's padawan that he was a piece of sith spit from the moment she met him sent me

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fancifulplaguerat · 10 months

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I have a light rant/appreciation post for Eva Yan because I have been thinking about her a lot recently. I find her character concept compelling, being a utopian in love with utopia itself; with miracles, love, and dreams. All the utopians (excluding perhaps Vlad and Mark) desire miracles, and seemingly resolve that desire through an obsession and commitment to their respective utopias, i.e. the Polyhedron or defeating death. It’s interesting how Eva fits in here, as a utopian utterly “in love with her own dream,” as Clara describes her. I don’t think her aspirations are completely directionless, though—they’re centered on the Cathedral, and I have thoughts (derogatory) about how the game handles this.

I will say that I actually like Daniil and Eva’s similarities, and what their dynamic communicates about the two of them. I particularly want to dissect this conversation Eva has with Clara:

Eva Yan: Is [the chasm between us] that great? Not really. He longs for miracles; he needs living evidence of the impossible... Yet was this not what I used to brood on daily and nightly? Was this not the reason I shed so many tears over our useless Cathedral?

> Look at me, Eva. I can work miracles. I can sense their nature. Mark my words: neither you nor he will get any miracles for as long as you're expecting them with such greed and entitlement!

[...]

Eva Yan: Those who watched Scarlet Nina build the town, who watched Simon play with our children, would never say it's futile to demand a miracle... One can, and in a way, one must!

It strikes me how Eva claims that she and Daniil need ‘living evidence of the impossible,’ like it’s not enough for them to merely dream about utopia—they want proof that it’s achievable, and to enact miracles themselves. Eva’s rebuttal to Clara also shows a similar adherence to hope that Daniil expresses, and in my opinion runs through all the utopians. After all, they are described as “those who believe in the power of the human spirit and the infinite scope of creativity.” The utopians are ultimately about humanity, even if they are often careless towards others; it’s all in service to an idealistic greater good. Daniil and the Kains likewise claim to be motivated by love, which is central to Eva’s character; this is why I don’t inherently hate Eva becoming infatuated with Daniil. It makes sense in that she is a Romantic and Daniil embodies many of her ideals, but at the same time, I hate how her obsession with Daniil is treated, especially how it comes into play on Day 7.

Eva says that she didn’t sacrifice for Daniil: “Don’t torture yourself... Do not assume I’ve done it for you. Not at all. I just wanted to inhabit this place. To bring the Cathedral to life a bit... so that there were at least something miraculous here.” And likewise Daniil writes that, “All she wanted was to put a miracle into practice and become the living soul of the lifeless Cathedral.” With this context, I was willing to put my side-eye away and entertain that her choice was the consequence of her being so eager for a miracle.

But then the game makes it explicit that she did in fact do this for Daniil. It’s especially damning in Clara’s Route, where Eva asks her, “Will you take care of him when I die? Maria let slip that he has three days left to win; it's a commitment he is bound by. I will have to give my own life so he may survive...” which contextualizes the murmurs about Maria somehow convincing Eva to do it. Clara alludes to this in the Bachelor Route, writing, “I know why Eva did what she did. Would you like me to tell you? [...] The true blasphemy is your negligence. You were meant to achieve victory yesterday. You did not.” And there’s more: Eva tells Daniil, “You know... I’m almost happy now, my dear Daniil... I’ve found a way to help you! But hush... for now it’s a secret!” and tells Clara “I’m sure that the Cathedral will spring back to life very soon—for his sake. And I will help...” And besides all this, Eva makes constant comments about how she wants to help Daniil, how she would turn herself inside out for him, and there’s this fucking line, which makes me bite and scratch: “The moment his boots stepped on the dusty soil of our roads, the moment he took a deep breath of our air, the moment his shadow fell on the cobbles of our town, I knew that my life had changed, and that it was approaching its acme. He has come, and now I live for his sake...” like good god I’m sorry I hate it.

To offer a tepid defense, I do think this fits into a larger pattern in Patho about one person giving their life for another, which is particularly prevalent with the Utopians/Humbles. But I still really dislike Eva making this choice for Daniil’s sake, it takes away from it being her personal, if tragic, way to resolve her utopian desire for the miraculous, and does a disservice to her characterization—instead of her motivation resting in her inner conflict, it again becomes “she’s obsessed with Daniil.” And obviously this is complicated, but the entire thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I just think they did her dirty and I hate it because I really enjoy her dialogues, like I love her perspective about the disease and the events of the game. I’m so sorry for what they did to you ms yan

#pathologic #eva yan #daniil dankovsky #patho.txt

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butterflydm · 7 months

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wot rewatch (book spoilers edition): 2x4

Not only is this one going to have spoilers for all the aired episodes plus any teasers, it will also have book spoilers through book 14: a memory of light (haha let's pretend I didn't accidentally call it book 13 in my previous rewatch book spoilers posts). I am also going to talk about the trailer for ep5.

I love this change to the seals being what's holding the Forsaken -- and Lanfear's side-step of death at the end of the episode shows us why such a choice was required on LTT's part (I am currently assuming it was LTT who was the driving force behind this because of the memory echo that Rand had at the 'Eye of the World' where he was confronting Ishamael). He had to seal them up because they couldn't be killed conventionally, because the Dark One could just bring them back (Lord of the Grave). This is a great change for a visual medium because it means they can keep the same actors instead of needing to swap them out for a new body. It also adds a great new threat level to the Forsaken right off the bat and it gives viewers another reason to understand why joining the Shadow might be compelling. They don't want the wheel and reincarnation -- they want to live on as the person that they are now.

It's also interesting because it means that the Forsaken are potentially widely dispersed and it may mean that Ishy has to actively seek for where they've been sealed up (maybe asking his Darkfriends to try to find more seals like this) -- which may mean that the Forsaken are loosed more slowly than in the books, as Ishamael discovers where Lews Therin hid them. (or they were all released here and we were only shown Lanfear because she's the most relevant one)

3. The reveal that Lady Anveare is Moiraine's younger sister! This episode gives us a lot of information about Moiraine -- one of the big things that we learn is that she's much older than she was in the books. Which is a change I like; so many of the AS that we meet in the books are still within a 'natural' lifespan and it was kinda weird tbh. I think that she (and Siuan) took longer to make Accepted and Sister in this version (hence the note we get about how Cadsuane is the person to compare Nynaeve's rocketing through the ranks to and not the two of them) and that they were already full Sisters when they heard the prophecy from Gitara. This does track with them wearing blue in that scene from the trailer, which is potentially going to be a flashback to the prophecy (fingers crossed! would love to hear it!).

I am curious about how this may affect all the various familial relations in the show! But they were basically ignored completely in the books anyway, lol.

4. "My family have a cabin up near Kinslayer's Dagger". Wanting to take Rand up to the place that was named after how LTT killed his wife and all of the people that he loved -- I mean, yeah. That's Lanfear for you. So... has Lanfear used Compulsion on Rand at all or is it all pure manipulation? I am torn, tbh. She's manipulating him hard, both in the waking world and in the world of dreams. I'm not sure if she needed Compulsion to push him over the edge -- and I feel like her reaction to him implying that he loves her feels very genuine and I don't know if she would be quite that blown away by him saying that if she's been Compelling him to go along with her part of the way. They also might not want to lean too much on Compulsion for subtle things like this and save it for bigger influences. But we may find out more next episode, so I will be patient. He does abruptly change his mind in her favor a couple of times, so that may speak to a hint of Compulsion. If she is using it, she's picking and choosing her moments. (I don't think Compulsion has been mentioned at all on the show yet?)

5. An interesting thought to me about how Alanna approaches being an Aes Sedai with her family: this is potentially similar to how we're going to be seeing how the Wise Ones are integrated with Aiel society. They keep their families and are a vital part of their community.

6. Timing-wise, they do make it clear that Moiraine bonded Lan after her abrupt personality change -- so Lan is probably the same age that he was in the books, with only Moiraine (and some other Aes Sedai) being older. It's also interesting that Moiraine didn't feel any need to have a Warder before she heard the prophecy.

7. I will note again that Egwene does NOT tell Elayne the name of the person that she lost, which I am going to cross my fingers has pay-off later on in the season, with Elayne meeting Rand without knowing that he's the person that Egwene is talking about here. I really do want them to meet without the context of "this is my friend's ex-boyfriend who faked his own death" hanging over their heads. Right now, Elayne has zero facts or knowledge about Rand as a person -- doesn't know his name, his looks, or that he's a man who can channel (she does not even know that Egwene is talking about a man! Egwene says "someone I love more than anything").

8. We get some more foreshadowing of the coup in this conversation with Liandrin and Leane. "If she falls, you'll fall with her." I really am wondering when exactly Elaida will be introduced. I feel like it would likely be before the coup itself happens.

Liandrin, I suspect, will not be going back to the Tower (or, if she does, it will only be briefly, to collect a handful of other Black Ajah members and then head out to whenever it is that the Black Ajah Hunters plotline will take Elayne and Nynaeve next season -- whether that be Tanchico like in the books or Tear as @markantonys has speculated, also, to briefly go back to the previous scene, I am sorry that you did not get your boy! Hopefully we will hear something about him soon). Liandrin torched her bridges with the Wondergirls in this episode, so even if she does go back to the Tower, as soon as she learns that the Seanchan were pushed out of Falme, she would know that her cover in the Tower is blown and that she needs to leave before anyone can learn about what she did.

9. I think the placement of Perrin learning about wolfbrothers is so much better here than jammed into right after Shadar Logoth, lol. Elyas really just rolled up, infodumped, and then rolled away in the books, lol.

10. We still don't know that LTT was Lanfear's ex, which is fantastic and I love it, lol. Show-onlys guessing that Ishamael is the ex that Lanfear keeps talking about is the most hilarious thing in the world and I'm in love with it. I've seen it at least twice now in the non-reader reactions that I've watched.

Haha, Lanfear's reaction when Rand reminds her that he wasn't a virgin when they slept together. Her face is just priceless. She is stabbing Egwene in her mind right now. (does she know it was Egwene? I mean, Egwene being one of the ta'veren actually gives her a shield against Lanfear killing her that she didn't have in the books, since Fain established that TDO sees all five of the ta'veren as important)

11. The show has been establishing so strongly that Rand dreams of having a home, raising his kids, and doesn't want to be... idk a lone wanderer in the wilderness, and it does make me wonder/hope that they'll adjust his ending epilogue and have him going to his loved ones in the end instead of wandering off on his own and wondering which of the women he loves is going to be the first to abandon her responsibilities to join in him wandering around aimlessly.

(it's probably obvious from my description there that I am in favor of a bit of tweaking of Rand's ending!)

12. Learning that the person telling him to 'take' what he wants was, in fact, one of the Forsaken, might be something that leads into Rand pushing away the idea of being allowed to ever indulge in the things that he wants, which would match a lot of his behavior in the books.

13. So, in the books, Barthanes is a Darkfriend. I'm assuming that's the son that Anvaere is talking about, the one that she is marrying to the nameless queen who might be a Galldrian expy. Is Anvaere a Darkfriend? Lanfear didn't seem to like her in 2x3 but, well, she was A Woman who was talking to Lanfear's Man and that might matter more to her than any Shadow affliations.

...still, I'm going to guess 'no', because I don't think the Shadow would want Moiraine to get literally any information on Rand and Anveare's information is a straight line that leads to Lanfear's throat getting cut. But Anvaere's son being a DF while she is not is also very tragic to think about! While Anveare was trying to restore their house the honorable way, Barthanes may have taken a shortcut. Another possibility would be that Barthanes is not yet a Darkfriend but will become so because of the events of this season.

14. I think "Elayne is following them because she's suspicious of why they're sneaking out of the Tower" is a good way to get around the fact that Elayne doesn't know any of the people that they're going to rescue and she ends up getting caught up in it by accident, little knowing how the course of her life is going to change. It really feels like it needed to be something like this because of us losing Caemlyn from s1.

15. I am so glad that Min has a storyline that isn't about following Rand around like a puppy. She has a painful backstory! She has goals and desires that don't revolve around Rand! She has to experience moral quandaries and goes through trauma that actually focuses on her as a person, instead of her being Rand's post-trauma cuddle toy.

16. Okay, so now that we know that Ishamael specifically wants Mat in Cairhien, I feel like that gives us a bunch of information:

a. It implies to me that Lanfear is still working under Ishamael's direction for the most part and that she's essentially "the agent assigned to Rand's corruption".

b. We know that they want to corrupt as many of the ta'veren as possible (from what Fain said in the s1 finale). Rand is the Big Prize but if any of them turned that's a bird in the hand. So, Ishamael is approaching this in a few different ways.

c. It seems like he wasn't certain exactly what was going on with Perrin until 2x3 but as soon as he has realized more about the wolf connection, he worked to try to get Perrin to view it as something evil and dark.

d. Lanfear got put in charge (volunteered, I'm sure) to do Rand. In every possible way.

e. Liandrin got basically "everyone in the Tower" but chose to focus her efforts on Nynaeve and Mat. It sounds like that may be because they were the two that stood out to her more -- she had the (hilarious) impression that Egwene was the one who would 'know her place' when the time came. So she worked on Nynaeve by trying to mentor her openly (while doing some more subtle manipulation). And she worked on Mat by destroying him psychologically.

f. Once the Seanchan are settled in the far west (maybe once Suroth's soldiers are close enough to a Waygate), Ishamael lets Liandrin know that time is up to corrupt Nynaeve and we're moving to Plan B. We've gonna do this the 'easy' way by throwing her at Suroth and let the sul'dam break Nynaeve and Egwene to be obedient.

g. But BEFORE that happened, Liandrin released Mat (with Min tugging him along) out into the world, and we find out this week that Ishamael wants Mat to be brought to Cairhien. Why?

h. Theory: Mat is the back-up plan if Lanfear fails with Rand (which she did). One of the theories that I posted about Mat's viewing from Min (Theory #4) is that he is Compelled to stab Rand. We know from 2x3 that Liandrin could sneak into his cell without waking him. Easy enough for Ishy to do the same with some Traveling. Maybe Mat is already under Compulsion by one of them, with a trigger-event waiting to happen.

Which would be completely devastating for Mat (and Rand) and also (along with Liandrin's torment of Mat in general) lead to a very compelling (ha!) reason for him to seek out a way to prevent channelers from using weaves on him. It would essentially give him the same kind of emotional reaction that we saw from the flicker-flicker scenes in the book (where he was talking about how he's not going to betray Rand) without us actually needing the Portal Stones. Mat will be: a. absolutely traumatized by Aes Sedai in general; b. terrified about weaves being used on him; c. have viscerally been forced to betray Rand against his will.

There is also... hmm, to this point. The first shot of Ishamael in the trailer for ep5 might be a match for the 'Mat is tempted by the dagger' scene that we've seen in some of the other trailers. And Ishamael and Mat getting a scene together would complete the circle of him having an intimate little talks with all the ta'veren boys. Not certain if it's the same place, but it feels like the lighting is the same. Not the later shot of him walking with Suroth but the earlier one of him in a room that looks like it's got some fireplaces going on. I will brace myself for potentially not getting Mat next episode though.

(again, if this doesn't happen in the show, I might be forced to write it. We will see!)

Plus!

i. It could provide a real-time example of Min accidentally creating a viewing while trying to prevent it! She doesn't want to hurt Mat but she also would not want him to stab Rand. But since she is the one who would likely be bringing Mat into Rand's orbit (as she has no idea that Rand is in Cairhien, I don't think), it would show the viewers that Min's viewings are inevitable instead of it just being her telling us that.

I've seen speculation that Min is going to do a U-turn and take Mat anywhere else but Cairhien (presumably accidentally going to Falme) after learning that one of the Forsaken wants Mat there but... but I really really want Rand and Mat to get a reunion lol. Rand was THE most affected by Mat staying behind last season and it would be good to build them up again in anticipation of them spending s3 together, so I'd love if they got a reunion BEFORE Falme. Like, I was so excited to hear Min is meant to take him to Cairhien!

17. I do feel like something changes for Lanfear when Rand implies that he loves her. She stops for a moment and reacts to that, and the vibe of the scene shifts afterwards too. Great meta on the subject here: https://moghedien.tumblr.com/post/727929706072227841/1-it-immediately-sets-up-the-threat-of-going-up and I pretty much agree completely. This is where her true obsession with RAND as LTT was born. She just got everything that she wanted and then it was stolen from her.

Episode 5 next week! So excited!

Looking forward to seeing Lanfear unleashed in the next episode! The saa in her eyes was just... yes. Such a good decision for them to treat TDO's resurrection of his Chosen this way, I think, so that we can keep these spectacular actors. We're gonna get info from Moiraine about the Forsaken next episode, it sounds like, which is exciting.

We also are going to get AVIENDHA! So excited about this. She looks amazing in the trailer. She sounds amazing. She is amazing.

This is also when we're going to get some more insight into the Seanchan as a whole (Loial is with Ishamael and Suroth in the trailer), I suspect.

The other probable important event about next episode is, uh, gonna be more trauma for one of our characters, though. Lots more trauma. So far, most (definitely not all!) of Egwene's trauma has been "horrible things keep happening to the people I care about" (Nynaeve's assumed death; Perrin being tortured in front of her; Rand's assumed death; Nynaeve's assumed death again this season) but now her trauma will include "a horrible thing is happening to me". It might be the 'cliffhanger' of the episode; Egwene getting taken as damane. Since it looks like we're spending some time in the Ways with Liandrin & the Wondergirls first. Or it might happen earlier. I will brace myself!

#butterfly watches wot #wot #wheel of time #wot on prime #wot show spoilers #wot prime spoilers #wot 2x4 spoilers #wot s2 spoilers #wheel of time s2 spoilers #wot book spoilers #a memory of light

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astrangergivingthestrangewelcome · 2 years

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It Should Have Been Jonathan: Why Swapping Jonathan and Mina's Roles for the Blood Ceremony Makes Dracula a Better Story Both Thematically and Plotwise

Bram Stoker did not write it this way, so swapping Jonathan in is not a headcanon, but rather an adaptational choice that adaptations like Murray Mysteries or fic writers (like me!) choose to make over and over again. Here's why you should engage with this premise.

(No spoilers for those caught up to October 3rd of Dracula Daily)

(non-graphic mention of rape, sexual assault, etc)

The Story As It Is: The Good Points

Jonathan um. Goes Through it this novel. If you hadn't noticed. Mina takes care of him a lot, and after the blood ceremony, Jonathan gets to take care of her. This is very sweet, and I do enjoy that both Mina and Jonathan take turns rather than Jonathan always needing help.

It's not like it's unrealistic. Dracula would totally retaliate against the men fighting against him by targeting Mina. He super would see this as very apt revenge, and he's definitely that brand of sexist that sees women as a prize.

This plot point goes out of its way to frame the actions of the men in excluding Mina as utterly disastrous, which is cool.

Mina as the Victim: What is it Accomplishing + How Did She Get There

Mina spends most of the novel taking care of the people Dracula's victimized. She is a force to be reckoned with, but as Stoker wrote her she is a very good sort of English woman, pious, obedient to the men, respectable, etc. etc. Although she and Lucy have very different characters, when Dracula targets them they serve the same role as good English women who are coming under attack by Dracula, an evil Eastern European man. In Lucy's case he literally kills her and in her place is a hot sexually impure corruption of the original person. Victorian nightmare fuel. In addition, there are all kinds of sexual non-con rape vibes to what he does to both Lucy and Mina. Hot forceful foreign men are invading England and targeting good women. That's the whole fear that Dracula represents.

This manifestation of xenophobia doesn't hold up at all. For me, it's always been the worst element of the novel. I don't find it compelling.

Something else you might have picked up from this update: martyr talk martyr talk martyr talk. While (trust me) Mina is still smart and still given a lot of agency by Stoker to break her own curse, after the blood ceremony, she suffers Very Piously. Like a hair's breadth away from publishing a video entitled "How To Suffer A Tormentor From Hell in A God Honoring Way" on her Youtube Channel.

I personally don't find this interesting. I don't think it holds up. I don't want to see Mina suffer like a Perfect Little Christian. I want to see her kick ass and take names.

In conclusion: the driving forces behind Mina's attack and trauma are at best uninspired and outdated, and there is a very nasty undercurrent of xenophobia and sexism there as well.

I don't love it. I'm either bored or actively turned off by what Stoker is trying to say.

Jonathan as the Victim: What Could It Accomplish?

Dracula choosing to attack Jonathan again would shift the narrative so that it becomes a story about an abuser who will Not Let Go. An abuser who follows across a continent. An abuser who waits until you've just started to recover from the first round of trauma and started to feel safe again to start an onslaught even more vicious and concerted than the last.

I think Stoker laid the groundwork for this twist to be more terrifying and compelling than for Mina to be targeted 2/3rds of the way through. Obviously Dracula is an abuser no matter what, but it so much more terrifying to me to think of him playing a long-term game of cat and mouse over like 6 months with one man, than it is to see him target Mina over the span of three days.

This is also in character for Dracula. I agree with the common interpretation that Dracula continued to target Lucy even when it got ridiculously difficult and dangerous to continue because he can't stand to lose a test of dominance.

If we carry that over to Jonathan there is absolutely no way that Dracula would be ok with learning Jonathan escaped and is recovering. He would Hate that. He would absolutely want to target Jonathan again.

So you remember "I too can love" "tonight is mine" the gaps in the journal? All that abuse that is hinted at and never explored? The same sort of sexual assault motifs that are so present in Lucy and Mina's attacks? The implication that Jonathan was fed on by Dracula? All these hints that Stoker doesn't do anything with or develop further? Well Making Jonathan the one who undergoes the blood ceremony gives us a very natural chance to discuss them again.

In conclusion: Jonathan's history with the Count makes him being the victim (again) a more compelling story. We've watched the Count slowly escalate aggression with him over the course of a novel, and this final attempt to literally claim Jonathan's soul and make him a thrall is the natural conclusion of that. To me those are some compelling stakes

Jonathan being Targeting Makes for Less Plotholes (and less Infuriatingly Sexist Plotpoints)

Not that Mina being excluded is unrealistic or unworthy of engaging with in the original novel but I find it to be such a drag

And actually to a certain point it is unrealistic to me because I think the decision to completely cut her off and stop talking to her about anything comes completely out of left field. Everyone was acting like she'd work with them in some capacity right up until Van Helsing says differently. I find that jarring.

Switching the target to Jonathan eliminates that plotpoint entirely, which I think is cool. Maybe Stoker never would have written Mina as one of the boys, but it's not the 19th century anymore and we can write Mina however we want. I think having a Mina that sticks up for herself and refuses to be excluded is neat.

But on what grounds would they choose to exclude Jonathan? Well I actually think that some obvious solutions present themselves.

Murray Mysteries goes the "Jonathan you have PTSD you shouldn't retraumatize yourself route" which works for them, since it's a 21st century retelling

But I actually think it could potentially make sense for Van Helsing to want to exclude Jonathan, and to need to be secretive about it.

So you know how in the canon Dracula gives Mina his blood partially because his intention was to make himself a spy? The plan was to use an unwitting Mina to his advantage but the polycule bursting in killed that idea.

Well if I were Van Helsing, I would immediately suspect that the Count had fucked with Jonathan at the castle. I mean it would make so much sense wouldn't it? Jonathan was there for two months, he could be compromised in so many different ways.

If Van Helsing had these suspicions, then it would be the natural next step to try and exclude Jonathan from the business as completely and utterly as possible under whatever flimsy excuses he can make up (and this man has been making up flimsy excuses for the whole novel so it's in character).

This adaptational change would lead into Jonathan getting attacked again very smoothly, except in this version, Van Helsing's reasoning has more grounds to it than just Sexism, so he would be not only a smarter character, but also one I'd want to punch less.

I think that makes for a stronger plot

Also it seems very natural to me that Jonathan wouldn't realize he'd been attacked again by Dracula. More natural than Mina not realizing. This man has been having PTSD nightmares and flashbacks about Count Dracula attacking him for the entire summer and early fall. Canonically his trauma made it difficult for him to separate dreams from reality in the past. He would just assume they were particularly nasty dreams.

This would also apply to Mina not noticing Jonathan was being fed on as well. She's used to him not looking well and having bad nights. It would not immediately be apparent to her that this was different that the usual.

In conclusion: Jonathan being the one who is attacked opens the door to other obvious plot changes that create a better story structurally.

Okay You've Convinced Me, I Want to Explore This

Listen to Murray Mysteries! Listen to Murray Mysteries if I haven't convinced you, it's really good and it's the only adaptation I know of that actually adapts the Polycule in a good way.

Read my series! I don't mean to self-promote but if you couldn't tell I feel incredibly strongly about this premise and I don't see people tapping into the potential so I've had to do it myself. Strange Wonders is a series of short stories that explore the plot of Dracula if this change had happened. The goal was to create something that mimicked Bram Stoker's tone and style as much as possible, while being the story I liked better in my head. The first in the series, Uncommon Horrors and Unnatural Hurts is Dracula Daily friendly, and the next in the series The Resilience of the Dawn will be Dracula Daily friendly by October 4th. I'm still updating as well although the story is technically complete and has a climax.

here some would stand between you and death by princ3ssf33t is a great little one-shot fic I've found that deals with the role reversal and features some stellar Jonmina

There is a Pleasure in the Pathless Woods by calliopes_pen is another epic reimagining where both the Harkers are targeted by Dracula

Your fic/art/content here!! Endless potential.

TL;DR

Having Jonathan undergo the blood ceremony instead of Mina makes for richer horror, stronger character arcs, less teethgrinding sexism, and less plotholes. The Dracula fandom should be exploring it more.

#dracula #dracula daily #meta #dracula meta #jonathan harker #mina harker #rape tw #rape cw

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kbrick · 1 year

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Peak Drarry: Celebrating Incredible Writers - aibidil

Peak Drarry is a series of posts celebrating the absolute treasure trove of talented writers in this fandom, and a reminder of how lucky we are to have them here with us. I’m kicking it off with one of my all-time faves, @aibidil.

✨AIBIDIL✨

I’m guessing there are very few people involved in the Drarry fandom who haven’t heard of aibidil. Aibidil has been showering us with quality fic since 2017 and has over sixty offerings on AO3. Her works were some of the first I consumed when I fell headfirst into Drarry during covid, and had a lot to do with my desire to write my own. I still distinctly remember being blown away by A Hag, a Hex, a Tale of Redemption, by how aibidil had managed to create such a compelling, funny, and heartfelt fuck-or-die fic, one that stood out from the rest. So, why should you read aibidil’s fic? Here are a few reasons:

They are creative and get you thinking

Sometimes there’s a trope or two thrown into the mix, but even then, the trope is merely a jump-off point into something much bigger. Trope: Ginny and Harry break up and Harry finds solace in and then love with Draco. Aibidil comes along and says, okay, fine, but make the problem Ginny’s unwanted pregnancy, have Harry experience emotional turmoil over that fact (not that Harry-Abandonment-Issues-Should-Be-My-Middle-Name-Potter identifies with an unwanted fetus, no, of course not), have him spend the rest of the story sorting through his complicated feelings, and make the whole thing a testament to reproductive choice (this fic is called (Un)wanted, by the way. It’s incredible). Trope: Malfoy wears a skirt and Harry goes feral. Aibidil’s take? Malfoy wears the skirt because he and Hermione are leading a protest against the gendered, outdated Ministry dress codes (Beards, Booty Shorts, and Binaries).

Abidil’s stories don’t always skew political (although I love when they do), but they always have something to say. In A Hag, a Hex, a Tale of Redemption, Draco must come to terms with what it means to love someone, and how consent plays into that (does a lie negate consent?). Truth and love also play a role in When Times Are Dire, when Harry and Draco must pretend to marry to save the world. But is it pretend when they really are joining their lives and families together?

Beyond the deeper moral and ethical questions present in these stories, aibidil’s fic always manages to be creative and interesting. Abidil comes up with some of the most inventive sorts of magic (you really have to read her latest, Always Already, for one of the most thoughtful depictions of magical time travel I’ve ever read). Her premises can be angsty, like what if Astoria tells Scorpius—on her death bed no less—that he is actually Draco’s child with Harry (when by now and tree by leaf)? They can also be downright silly, like what if Draco can’t stop hiccoughing for days (Upside Down, Holding One’s Breath)? But one thing of which you can be certain: they’re never, ever boring.

They’re a master class in characterization

So, aibidil can dream up interesting, different, thought-provoking storylines, yes. But she also gets it right when it comes to characterization. Her Harry and Draco are always recognizable to me, no matter how evolved and changed they’ve become. There is something essential there, something true to the characters we know and love, that is ever present. And I think that’s because aibidil truly empathizes with and cares about her characters. This knack for getting in a character’s headspace means that aibidil is able to create some of the most fully formed, well rounded and realistically portrayed versions of Harry and Draco I’ve read. Whether it’s Harry in When Times are Dire enjoying the way his children sort of take his love for granted (because Harry wants that for them so badly, wants to be a constant, unquestioned source of support in their lives) or Draco in Always Already shoving down his snark in order to be as inoffensive as possible as a sort of penance for the war, you both recognize and feel for these characters. They’re flawed and imperfect, but they’re trying, and you love them for it.

There are moments in aibidil’s fic that leave me breathless because of how well they nail down the essence of a character in just a few words, or a single exchange or situation. For instance, in When Times Are Dire, Draco and Harry take a trip to the zoo and Draco buys Harry an absurdly enormous ice cream sundae after Harry recalls a time his aunt and uncle bought one for Dudley but not him. “Harry found himself at a loss for words,” aibidil writes. “He thought he’d worked through his childhood zoo issues. He’d been here so many times as an adult, without the abuse of the Dursleys. He had so many wonderful memories here, so many trips with his kids. But no one had ever bought Harry an ice cream before [emphasis mine].” The way Draco understands Harry, and the way he helps Harry to understand something about himself in such an everyday sort of scene is beautiful.

In Pure Imagination, Harry and Draco, experiencing depression after the war, are given a potion that allows them to tap into their imaginations completely, the way a child would. They have an excellent time on the potion together, imagining all sorts of things, including taking a trip to a Muggle skate park (together), which they agree to do at a later date. But afterward, Harry retreats and doesn’t go to the skate park (a decision that gives us incredible insight into the Harry of this story, come to think of it). In their joint trip to the counselor’s office later, Draco tells the counselor that imagination is dangerous because it opens people up to disappointment. “It’s smart that I don’t allow myself delusions like thinking I can somehow have a fulfilling career, even given my past,” he says. “It’s smart that I don’t allow myself the delusion of thinking Potter might want to spend time with me when he’s not high on a fucking imagination potion.”

And doesn’t this cut right to the heart of Draco? Whether he’s being cruel the way he was in canon, or being cool and indifferent, the way he is at the beginning of Pure Imagination, he is someone who struggles to believe in his own self-worth, and has found an entire arsenal’s worth of methods to hide this fact, even, sometimes, from himself.

They’re just so damn funny

And finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention one of the absolute best things about aibidil’s stories. Because on top of incredible storylines and beautiful character work, aibidil is fucking hilarious. I don’t think I’ve ever read through anything of hers without laughing out loud. Oftentimes, the humor is situational, like in When Times Are Dire when Harry and Draco tell their children that they’re in a relationship (when they’re actually not) and proceed to have one of the most awkward exchanges of all time with them, which leads to Harry clarifying that they are together ‘sexually’ (He says that. To his children.). Or in Auld Acquaintance, when Harry comes through the floo looking like a teenager and Draco finds himself torn between the ghost of attraction his own teenaged self had for this version of Harry and the fact that to his mature, grandfatherly eye, Harry looks “doughy…like an underbaked infant.” Or in Starve Your Distractions, Feed Your Focus, when a coupled-up Harry and Draco have to work out with a very sexy Neville, who is wearing joggers that leave little to the imagination.

Sometimes, though, the hilarity is in the form of amazing dialogue (her Harry and Draco banter is always top-tier) or of others’ observations of the Drarry dynamic, like when Neville says (in Always Already) this about Harry and Draco’s teasing of one another: “Don't mind them. It's like their little traumatised child-warrior foreplay or something.” Aibidil is always aware of the story she’s telling, and of the Drarry-ness of it all. These are not simple men, and theirs is never a typical, simple relationship, and you know what? That can be funny. As Harry says in When Times are Dire: "Ah yes. I'm a cheap date. All it takes to get me in bed is to almost kill each other, survive a war together, work together over decades, have children who fall in love and get married, get married for political reasons, pretend to be in love for two years to all friends and relatives, become grandparents together, and take a controlled substance to open up enough to tell each other the truth. That's all."

See? Easy.

Finally, I shouldn’t leave out the fact that aibidil’s acronyms are the best of all time (her most recent fic’s C.O.C.K. is my new favorite, but there are oodles of excellent ones).

Recommended For…

Everyone. Listen, if you enjoy laughing, or exciting and original storylines, or fic that makes you think, or fic that reveals the beating hearts of our favorite characters, aibidil’s catalog of work is for you. There is angst in places, there is smut in places, but that’s not really the point of her fic. The point is the journey, the character development, and the ridiculous amount of joy and energy contained in all of these stories. Here are a few you might want to check out, but honestly, you can’t go wrong with anything she’s written.

Top 3 Fics Over 25,000 Words (by kudos)

Dating for Dads in Denial (25k) - In which one wizard designs and another reluctantly patronises a magical matchmaking service, amidst the chaos of children and parenting.

when by now and tree by leaf (46k) - When Scorpius Malfoy is saying goodbye to his dying mother, he doesn't expect to hear her confess, "Your father slept with another man and became pregnant with you."

Moldova’s Magical Tea (32k) - Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and—to everyone’s surprise—Draco Malfoy are opening a magical tea shop to revive wizarding tea culture. Harry, who is unemployed and trying to find his way in post-war society, wants to help his friends with their new business—but that means spending a lot of time around Malfoy.

Top 3 Fics Under 25,000 Words (by kudos)

Back to You (8k) - The eighth years make Harry and Malfoy go head to head and back to back in a question-and-answer drinking game. The worst that can happen is they end up drunk, right?

The Usual (9k) - Harry finally tries the new magical coffee shop on Diagon Alley. A story in which Draco is Up To Something™ and Harry is going to get to the bottom of it, and to the bottom of that sixteen ounce to-go cup.

Beards, Booty Shorts, and Binaries (9k) - Harry was hoping for a quiet day at the office, but Hermione and Draco are waging a war on discrimination with beards and skirts.

Kbrick’s Picks (in order of obsession)

When Times Are Dire (130k) - Magical Britain is screwed, and it's once again up to Harry to save it. This time, by marrying Draco Malfoy.

Always Already (170k) - It's 2004: Harry teaches primary school and loves his job and friends; It's 1980: Harry has to fight Voldemort, again; It's 2004: Draco is a trainee Healer and reformed member of society; It's 1980: Draco has to face his father's cruelty; It's 2004: Harry and Draco definitely aren't lonely or depressed or traumatised; It's 1980: Harry and Draco listen to Kate Bush and watch Dallas and drive a 1979 Ford Cortina; It's 2004, it's 1980, it's...

Pure Imagination (15k) - An eighth-year tale of depressed happiness, reluctant imagination, and conflicted hope. And skateboarding.

#drarry #peak drarry #fic recs #writer rec #amazing writers #drarry fic rec

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