#ADDENDUM FOR CLARITY

[frogsinajar]

Hello, I read one of your comics recently and was wondering if you’d be okay with me dubbing it. I would make sure to credit you in the description and at the end of the video. This is the comic in question: https://www.tumblr.com/frogsinajar/703675307713085440

Sure thing, sounds rad, go ahead! though if you end up linking back to the comic in the description, id like to ask you to put the link with the addendum (this one) instead of the original one. Mostly because i think its funny but also because it adds a little context on the fate of rasputins cock and balls Im glad you enjoyed the comic!

#for the sake of clarity #im not asking you to dub the addendum #just to link that version on the description instead of the original post #ppwomyanmar #asks #the fate of rasputins cock and balls #the name of my short story collection

[injuries-in-dust]

Captain’s log, number 197.

Well, it finally happened. They warned me it would when I took humans aboard, but I didn’t believe them.

The humans have threatened mutiny over an object they have pack-bonded with.

A few cycles ago, one of the humans placed ... decorative items ... what are they called? “googling eyes?” upon one of the maintanence drones. While against procedure, this seemed to be amusing to the humans and I let them have this bit of enrichment to their environment.

Last cycle another human, or perhaps the same one, I haven’t been able to get a clear answer on who did it, decided to expand upon this decoration with the addition of black bonding tape, cut into shapes the humans find very amusing.

See attached picture for clarity:

In another cycle we will be docking at space-station 114-Hartnell for our annual maintanence and reguation-compliance inspection. I need not say how we must be reguation compliant in order to maintain our trade lisence with the alliance.

This would, of course, include that all maintanence drones are kept up to code. So I ordered the humans to remove the decorations.

... I ...

...I have no words ...

Their reaction.

They named him.

It! I meant to say, they named it.

They stated, and I quote, “You will not touch one hair of Robert Floor-Buffington the third, captain, or there’ll be a problem!” 

They’ve made up stories! Robert Floor-Buffington, he’s a humble, but hard working space bot, who just wants to do right for his a robot wife, and robot children!

It’s a maintanence drone! Identical to the hundred other maintanence drones we have on board.

But the humans they’re insane!

They just will not be moved on this issue.

... Maybe I can pursuade them to just ensure this Robert Floor-Buffington is kept out of the inspectors way. We have a hundred identical models, surely they won’t notice that one is missing?

***Log paused for incoming message***

Captains log addendum.

Perhaps the inspectors will not notice four maintanence drones are missing.

The humans have decided to decorate three other drones and have taken to referring to them as the “wife and two children of Robert-Floor Buffington the third.”

At this time, there is a heated debate occuring in storage bay three over what the names of this robot family will be.

...

...

...

Additional. I have over two-hundred days of shore-leave accrued. I think I’ll be making good use of that in the near future.

#humans are weird #humans are strange #humans will pack bond with anything #humans are space australians #humans are space orcs #humans will pet anything #humans will befriend anything #short story

[fatehbaz]

Whither the man-eater? This entity was once the prime interest of an entire league of famous sportsmen in colonial India, the engrossing content of many books [...]. [T]he man-eater was first constructed, and then dismantled [...]. This erratic rise and fall of the man-eater is descriptive of changing power relations, the ephemeral yet pervasive axis between the colonial and the post-colonial [...].

---

Jim Corbett was a case in point. [Around the time of independence, Corbett authored popular stories of his adventures in colonial India in the preceding decades, including Man-Eaters of Kumaon and The Man-Eating Leopard of Rudraprayag]. [...]

The man-eater was destined [...] to shine in all its ferocity at a certain moment in time and not any other.

Thus, [there is special] context within which specific 'meanings' get associated with animals, at certain times, and at the the hands of select actors [...].

[T]he engulfing realm of the printed word, especially the English book, gave astounding shape and clarity to the idea of a man-eater. [...] The man-eater was never thought of as a sub-species of Panthera tigris in the tables of natural history; rather the man-eater [...] was ‘out of nature’, and thus some kind of an addendum to naturalist understandings. [...] The making of the man-eater into a coherent animal category follows an arduous path. [...] [M]otor cars and other gadgets such as hunting lights had arrived on the scene. [...] [A British officer] who had served in the Central Provinces for quite a while after [1909] [...], commented [..] ‘With modern inventions it would be quite easy to be playing cards in the tent [,] and when the tiger turns up, kill him by pressing a button on a tent wall.’ [His] exasperation was evident [among] [...] [s]portsmen in the 1920s and 1930s [...]. [A] single species splits into undefeatable man-eaters and gentlemanly tigers worthy of observation alone. [...] Amid such lesser sportsmen the man-eater thus became a tactic of power which elevated its [colonial] victor over both the hunters of the past and contemporaries of the present. [...] But it is truly a question if this muzzle-loading gun in the hands of the native [...]. The implication was that sportsmen had a fairer sense of restrictions than the non-sporting classes. With the latter classes gaining political mobility, fears of an 1857-like massacre were also in the air. [...] [B]y the 1930s [...] a host of sportsmen [...] might have preferred to see natives handling a rickety muzzle-loader than an elegant express rifle; the man-eater was intended to remain at large for those ["superior" colonial sportsmen] in possession of the latter. [...]

---

This development of a sportsman into an author can be located within a history of the book. [...] The English novel as a genre [...] began to acquire greater circulation after [...] 1870. [...] [A] book on which the sportsman laboured was like a trophy [...]. For all such ongoing fuss about size [records], a man-eater was more about qualities: cunning, finesse, stealth [...]. If the difficulty of hunting a man-eater was what gave the sportsman a chance to prove the superiority of his skill [...], then this difficulty was the stuff of a story, not a [size] measurement or a mounted trophy. And [...] an aspect of photography. [...] It authenticated the effort of a sportsman and could not be bought of the market [taxidermy trophies available to simply purchase at local shops] except through a book that bore the author’s name. [...]

---

There were dimensions of imagination and power that accompanied this. The idea of a man-eater was such that it helped advance the long held belief that the natives were a hapless lot. [...] Pandian [...] shares how the man-eaters of the colonial period were equated with the ‘arbitrary monarchs’ of a pre-colonial era, which also the British sportsman as a symbol of ‘sovereign might’, would meet on its own grounds. [...] [Consider also] the manner in which the simultaneous depiction of the remaining tigers as ‘large hearted gentlem[e]n’ of the forests (a thing Corbett professed) went to convey the contrary image of a docile, tame and innocent nature that could come to be harmed by natives at the slightest instance.

Protecting the people gave the colonisers power over animals, and protecting animals gave it a power over people.

Notions of animality and criminality intersected at the site of the man-eater.

The entire continuum of man-animal relations was thus canvassed through this tactic, which also the medium of the book in the later colonial periods broadcasted to distant corners of the colony. [...] What perhaps distinguished the man-eater from any ordinary form of game hunting was that it was additionally a form of ‘language-game’. [...] [T]he man-eater was an account in which the ephemeral idea of an ‘India’ glimmered constantly in the background. But it did so largely in English. The man-eater was an English diatribe [...]. The side by side portrayal of the victims of the man-eater as ‘superstitious’, ‘rural’ and ‘ignorant’, only went to establish before the (civilised) readers the proof of an (uncivilised) mass waiting to be salvaged, assimilated or disciplined. [...] [A] mild perusal of Corbett’s My India, published about five years after India’s gaining of Independence, provides ample evidence of the above dynamic. The eventual autonomy of the British administration besides a celebration of the decision making capacities of rural masses (described as ‘real’ Indians) is legend in the pages of this book. The political reality of colonial rule is conflated with a nationalistic pride, which also the sportsman allocates to himself in the describing of his (my?) India. One is left to understand that the man-eater thrived at its best in a colonised India as much as an Indianised colony. As the tension between an emerging nation and an erstwhile colony acquired sharpness in the later colonial periods and a decade thereafter, the narrative of the man-eater came into its own.

The man-eater is thus a veritable creature of timing that shone at its brightest in the 1940s, even if it had been shot down 30 years ago by the likes of Corbett. [...] [Later in the twentieth century, there was a] transformation of the landscape from a designated ‘wasteland’ under colonial administration to a ‘World Heritage Site’ in Independent India. At the peak of such transitions in the 1970s [...], the tiger itself was assuming cosmopolitan proportions and being regarded as a ‘citizen’ by the state. [...] [This was an] emergence of [...] a 'cosmopolitan tiger' [...].

---

All text above by: Varun Sharma. "Rise and Fall of the 'Man-eater': The Changing Science and Technology of a Species (1860-present)". History and Sociology of South Asia Volume 10, Issue 1. First published online 8 December 2015. [Bold emphasis and some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me. Text in the first paragraph of this post is from the article's abstract.]

#edited for clarity like sixty seconds after initial posting #fixed to add the direct thesis like lines about animal meaning in first paragraphs and short bracket info to explain who corbett was #abolition #ecology

[redstringraven]

an excruciatingly long ramble about the ‘03 turtles and the enneagram 🐢🧡 pt5 (end)

[ intro + disclaimers post ] [ pt 2 - raph ] [ pt 3 - leo ] [ pt 4 - don ]

mikey, 7 with a 6 wing

intro

we've reached the final entry, lads, but we've still got a lot to talk about. there's also, of course, the chance i might have future things to observe and build on and, if i do, they will be posted and linked as addendums. for now, however? let's blow this popsicle stand.

you might remember way back in the intro post that i said i was excited to talk about mikey because he’s a complicated combination of a lot of moving parts and almost stupidly self-aware. i had a reason i wanted to start this project off with raph and, similarly, i have a reason i wanted to end it with mikey. there’s a chance that some of you might have noticed or caught on, and i’ll give you a moment to think about it.

done? okay cool.

mikey’s 7 is linked to each of his brothers. all three of them have a 7 somewhere in their enneagram web:

raph has a 7 wing. leo’s security number is 7. don’s stress number is 7.

mikey and raph share a lot in common, which is why they both get along so well and also butt heads frequently. i think a detail that may contribute to the latter is that their 7 link is in a wing on raph's end. mikey can see and understand where the 7-wing is influencing and coloring raph's core number, but he himself doesn't share an 8 as a wing. so, when it comes to getting what makes raph tick as an 8, mikey may fall a little short. but if mikey allows himself to chill out enough to access his 5, he might even be able to help raph understand his own temper and process his thoughts objectively.

as for the other two, mikey knows how to coax out leo’s playful side and get him to be kinder with himself and relax, shut his inner critic the hell up. mikey can empathize with don when he’s struggling in silence, bring him out of isolation and back to the present. stress and security numbers are stronger ties than a wing (they will always be attached to that core type, whereas the wing may differ), so mikey can see his strengths reflected in leo when leo's healthy and empathize with don's weaknesses when he's going through a dark spot. mikey would also have a taste of what it's like to live with an inner critic (leo's 1), and be capable of stepping back, slowing down, and being more open to clarity, innovation and insight (don's 5).

bare basics of the 7

7s are one of three assertive types (the others being 3s and 8s), and they’re members of the head triad (made of 5s, 6s, and 7s).

to reiterate: members of the head triad are concerned with anxiety; they carry a great deal of fear and are driven by it. they feel they experience a lack of support and guidance, and because of this they often engage in behaviors they believe will enhance their safety and security. they take in and relate to the world through the mind, and they tend to think and plan carefully before they act.

i’ll also mention again what i said about assertive types in raph’s post: assertives can be described as moving 'against people’. they respond to stress or difficulty by building up, reinforcing, or inflating their ego; they will expand rather than back down or seek protection. assertive types will often have issues processing their feelings.

unlike the previous posts, i think we need to pause here in the basics section for a second. because this is where mikey is different than his brothers.

if you look back to mikey's brothers, each of them have their core number in one triad but their wing in another: raph is in the gut triad, but has a head wing; leo is in the gut triad but has a heart wing; don is in the head triad, but has a heart wing. mikey, however, is fully in the head triad. but wait!: there’s more.

his brother’s core numbers and wings are all the same ‘type’: raph being an 8w7 means he’s fully an assertive type; don being a 5w4 makes him fully a withdrawn type; leo being a 1w2 makes him fully a compliant type. mikey, however, is a 7w6, which makes his core type assertive, but his wing compliant. so while his core number might cause him to inflate his ego, expand rather than back down, his wing’s influence could soften that or even nullify it. remember that compliant types like to be in service of the people around them and move toward others, and they have internalized principles and other dictates they've learned from childhood.

something else i’ve noticed while working on this project is that every triad has one type that seems like they don’t belong in their triad by surface-level observation. 9s are in the anger and gut triad, yet they’re peacemakers, think before they act, and are 'fine' with discomfort so long as everyone around them is happy. 3s don’t appear to be engaged with their feelings despite being in the heart and feeling triad, and they often struggle to connect with those emotions as well as their own identity. 7s are in the thinking and head triad, seeming to be carefree, joyful, and spontaneous in a triad so concerned with fear and anxiety. but where 5s externalize that fear and 6s internalize it... 7s forget it. or, they sure do try to.

a 7’s basic fear is being deprived or trapped in pain

their basic desire is to be happy, satisfied, and to find fulfillment

they believe they’ll be okay so long as they get what they need

childhood take-aways

y’all know the drill. let’s visit that quote from master splinter one final time.

“your path in life will not be an easy one. the outside world will not be a friendly place for you. you four are different in ways the surface dwellers would never understand. to survive, you must master these skills i teach you: the powers of stealth and secrecy. you must become kage, shadow warriors, and you must never be discovered by the outside world.”

it’s not uncommon for a 7’s childhood to be colored by an unconscious feeling of disconnection from their protective and/or nurturing figures, and in response to this 7s choose to nurture themselves. there’s a wide variety of reasons for this perception: another sibling came along and required attention, or there was illness in the family, or the family is living paycheck to paycheck and the protective figures are stressed. but, one way or another, the young 7 unconsciously decides they’re not going to sit around feeling sorry for themselves; if no one will take care of them, they’ll take care of them. this is NOT to say that 7s weren’t close to their protective/nurturing figures, just that on some emotional level they unconsciously decided they had to take care of their own needs.

young 7s will quickly seek out what psychologists call ‘transitional objects’: toys, games, and sometimes playmates. so long as they can find and move toward interesting ideas, experiences, and people, they can repress their underlying feelings of frustration, fear and hurt. where 5s reduce their need to depend on anyone and 6s try to anticipate every possible disaster, 7s create a pain-free world in their mind where they can hang out and think happy thoughts.

like i said back in leo’s post their lives had to’ve been some level of chaos since the word go. master splinter had a LOT to manage and balance and pay attention to, whether it was his own grief/newfound intelligence and change, finding them all a safe environment, or the four boys themselves. we have young leo earnestly doing his best to meet and surpass expectations--going to splinter for advice and approval and more lessons. we have young raph questioning splinter’s authority and glimpses of his temper starting to surface more often. and we have young don choosing to tinker instead of play with his brothers or fully engage in training, and maybe needing a bit more attention during said training because this isn’t the area he’s chosen for his expertise. that’s a lot of attention spread real, real thin. this poor rat is doing his best, man.

while i wouldn’t say this strained or damaged mikey’s relationship with splinter, it wouldn’t surprise me if mikey unconsciously realized he’d need to find the nurturing he wanted elsewhere. much like leo’s 1 would have recognized his protective figure’s responsibilities and expectations, and received them in earnest, mikey’s 7 pulled him toward distractions to better tolerate his own anxiety: toys, trinkets, music, games, comic books, artistic expression. in mikey’s story during tales of leo (s1ep19) we see him wander-dancing around the lair with his headphones on, (allegedly) looking for his gameguy. he pauses to talk to leo, but leo is concentrating and won't engage with him. this leads to mikey deciding to break young leo’s concentration because he, quote: “hates to be ignored”.

mikey as a 7

7s are sometimes nicknamed: ‘the enthusiast’, ‘the generalist’, ‘the multi-tasker’, ‘the wunderkind’, ‘the dilettante’, ‘the connoisseur’, or ‘the energizer’.

7s are masters when it comes to the art of reframing; they can take a bad situation and turn it into a positive light in a blink. it’s a defense mechanism that’s instantaneous, unconscious, and impressive. in his official profile, mikey states that “the other guys seem so down sometimes, they need me around just to lighten things up! life’s a beach!”. heck, there’s a ton of this, here. that happiness is a way of life, life is what you make it, and that "knowing how to take care of yourself in times of trouble is neat... it's like being in a movie”.

if you continue to doubt mikey's place in the thinking/head triad, then you've yet to watch a 7 start to rationalize. should you call them out for acting selfishly or attempt to caution them on making a dumb decision, they’ll defend to the death the reasonableness of their position or provide a million good reasons for doing whatever it is they want to do.

a small example can be found in trouble with triceratons (s2ep2) while the turtles are trying to retrieve honeycutt from the triceratons, resulting in don piloting an alien vehicle while mikey rides sidecar. mikey begins pressing all the buttons--just all of them--and don says “leave the shiny buttons alone, mikey!”. to which mikey responds “but it might be something really good!” (and then he is promptly jettisoned from the car. rest in pieces, king).

a better example could be found in a wing and a prayer (s4ep7). while don, leo and raph are training, mikey's standing by reading a newspaper. leo breaks away from the others to cut through the newspaper in order to get mikey's attention, and he tells mikey. they’re supposed to be training. mikey's quick to say that he is training! he’s doing mental exercises… reading! leo presses “didn’t you learn anything from your battle nexus rematch?”. and mikey has an answer for this, too, in the form of a quote from master splinter about worry, fear and anger... and pin that up on the board--pin it--because we're gonna circle back to that.

much like 8s, 7s don’t like being told what to do. but where an 8 might outright pick a fight with an authority figure, opponent, or leader, a 7 will attempt to manipulate them with charm and charisma. while it wasn't OUR mikey who sweet-talked his way out of sliver's containment in reality check (s3ep19), it was still a version of mikey who pulled it off, and it was our mikey's plan.

7s are crafty lil stinkers. much in the same way they can quickly think to rationalize their wants and behaviors, they will be quick to notice and remember how those around them respond to things, what buttons to press they might need to press to garner the results they want. a prime example of this is his match against raph in the battle nexus.

raph goes into this match confident and eager. he thinks that he’s going to give mikey a life time's worth of get-backs, but… never considers that no one in this tournament knows how to work him like mikey does. ... ... *leans in and lifts microphone closer to my mouth* and we're gonna circle back to that, too.

7s are (for better or worse for those around them) exceptionally bright and quick learners. their minds move fast from one idea to the next, making them fantastic brainstormers and great at synthesizing information; they tend to have excellent mind-body coordination and dexterity. all this can cause them to develop an inflated sense of their own 'giftedness' and cause them to come off as or actually be: arrogant.

i think it’s safe to say that mikey is the most ‘’’naturally gifted’’’ out of the four when it comes to ninjitsu. master splinter draws attention to this in touch and go (s3ep8) when he says mikey has an affinity for the martial arts. but one of the best ‘show-don’t-tell’ examples, in my opinion, can be found in what a croc (s2ep12) where mikey’s the one who holds his ground the longest against stockman’s turtle-bot. and afterward, when they swap weapons, he’s the only one of the four who uses an improvised weapon (two pipes).

it cannot be stated enough times that 7s don’t want to experience unpleasant emotions. sure, no one enjoys feeling frightened, bored, disappointed, sad, frustrated or angry, but emotions like this are downright intolerable for 7s. they want to avoid pain, and they believe they can think their way out of it. things like worry or stress are easier for them to deal with because they can mentally work with them and rationalize a way out, but things like sadness, grief or disappointment are harder. those emotions actually have to be felt to be dealt with. whenever 7s sense they’re getting too close to a painful topic, they might crack a joke or tell a funny story--they're the types who will sneak a wince-worthy pun into a eulogy--anything goofy or distracting to redirect the topic and skirt around those negative emotions. this avoidance can cause them to appear callous or lacking in empathy. mikey? cracking jokes when he “shouldn’t”? maybe coming off as insensitive to the situation around him? more likely than you think.

7s with a 6 wing are sometimes nicknamed ‘the entertainer’. they’re fast-talking, witty, and they're excited by new ideas and highly engaging people with a lot of energy and high spirits. they’re productive, but they can easily lose focus and become scattered. these 7s are sensitive and a bit more anxious than 7w8s, but they’re experts in using charm to disarm. they’re dutiful and loyal to their family and friends, and they’re often funny, entertaining, and highly accepting of others. in healthier states, they’re curious and creative with an excellent sense of humor and a more positive outlook on life than a 7w8. they’re quick-thinking, have cooperative spirits, and organizational abilities that enable them to accomplish a great deal with little effort.

stress & security numbers

mikey’s stress number is a 1, so in times of high stress and downed spirits he’ll begin exhibiting the negative traits associated to 1s. stressed 7s become pessimistic, argumentative, and judgmental. more and more, they’ll begin blaming others around them for their problems, and their thinking will become more black-and-white. they’ll begin to feel the need to restrain themselves but then become frustrated with the structures and limits, and their usual vivaciousness may give way to a grim seriousness.

what enthusiasm they had for their own ideas and opinions will quickly shift into a tendency to critique the views of others; they might become short, impersonal, and impatient--with both themselves and others--attempting to 'teach' those around them why their ideas and opinions are better or correct. and under high stress, their underlying resentment will begin to show. they might begin scolding, nitpicking, and cutting down those around them with withering, sarcastic comments, and they'll adopt a 'hit-and-run' approach to conflict.

the examples of mikey’s 1 could include:

in tales of leo (s1ep19) after mikey finishes telling his story and raph says “if you ask me, leo’s not coming back because he’s afraid”, mikey--quite literally--180s on him and retorts “no one asked you!”

in return to the underground (s2ep13) mikey says don's plan to get the crystal moon back up came from "whackos-r-us", and toward the end when they’re all webbed up and surrounded by monsters, he mocks don and “his big ideas” and does a nasally impression of him

his behavior in most (if not all) of same as it never was (s3ep21); the way he snaps at don right out the gate is radiating with a 1’s anger and, more notably, resentment

in grudge match (s4ep6), he makes a very pointed dig at raph when challenged about his status as the battle nexus champion; i’ll touch on this a bit more later

mikey’s security number is a 5, so when mentally and spiritually healthy he’ll begin to show the positive traits associated with 5s. these 7s grow more comfortable with silence and solitude and are willing to be more serious; they begin to think about the meaning and purpose of their lives. an 'average' health 7 might be creative, but a secure 7 no longer wants to just consume, they want to contribute. 7s on the positive side of a 5 can finally experience satisfaction in the truest sense of the word.

they learn to slow down and quiet the activity in their minds so impressions affect them more deeply, and they become able to stay with their observations and experiences long enough to realize all the amazing things about themselves and the world around them. they can recognize which experiences have real value to them. rather than worry about making the wrong choices or missing out on the best--most exciting--course of action, 7s will simply know what to do. it doesn’t cause 7s to lose their spontaneity or enthusiasm, they just become more free to savor the moment. as 7s learn to quiet their minds and tolerate anxiety that arises, they can access the clarity, innovation, insight, and knowing qualities of a healthy 5.

examples of mikey’s 5 surfacing could include

in the unconvincing turtle titan (s1ep12) after watching the silver sentry interview at the end, while his brothers are asking questions, you can see him just kind of quietly basking in the moment instead of hyping himself or the moment up

in contrast to dipping into his 1 throughout return to the underground, while they’re on their way back home mikey pauses to take a moment to let don know “he may be a pain in the shell, but i’m proud that you’re my bro”. (this back and forth reaction to don's decisions/plans could also be his assertive type expanding in defense early on only for his compliant type to fall back to childhood lessons in doing the right thing, recognizing and appreciating that they've done that here)

in christmas aliens (s3ep1) it’s his idea to go to the children’s home, granting others an exciting and warm holiday experience rather than being concerned with his own. contributing, not consuming.

in grudge match (s4ep6) he takes the time to seek leo out at the end of the episode and thank him

there is an aspect of his 5 surfacing in what he says about leo in samurai tourist (s4ep13) but i hesitate to say that his 5 is fully in the driver’s seat; i’ll get to it when we get there

cardinal sins - 7 and gluttony

once again, as with raph and with don, mikey’s cardinal sin is more than its surface-level explanation. yeah, he eats a lot and enjoys food, but… who doesn’t? i, also, would like pie.

7s embody sunshine and joy and a boundless love for life, always curious, always excited about the next thing to come. but if you scratch those surface appearances off, you’ll find an almost desperate need to avoid pain. the cardinal sin of gluttony isn’t so much about mikey’s passion for pizza as much as it is a need to devour positive experiences, stimulating ideas and fine material things in order to avoid suffering, hurtful memories, or feelings of deprivation. 7s cope by gorging themselves. they jam their calendars with activities and adventures to look forward to, absorb interesting ideas and stories, collect material possession--all in an attempt to fill up an inner emptiness with items and experiences. we all have our ways of defending against pain, and for 7s it’s keeping things lively and positive. they must have more, so they never run out.

one of my books state that 7s are often caught in a cycle of anticipation known as 'the chocolate syndrome'. one of the most exciting things about a box of chocolates is the anticipation of the first bite (you never know what you're gonna get inside, after all). it's often less the experience itself that excites 7s, it's the anticipation OF that experience. a small example of this could be found in the lesson (s3ep13) when young mikey is teaching casey about the importance of having a battle-cry. he hypes up how having a good battle-cry will get foes to flee like cowards, and before casey even has a chance to respond, mikey exclaims "oooOOH, i really wanna see that!! come on, let's try it!". the payoff of this is, obviously, not great. but it didn't lessen the thrill of getting there.

unfortunately, due to their cardinal sin, 7s have a tendency to be the most vulnerable to some form of addiction, both due to their love for anticipation and need of escaping negative feelings. i see a lot of people going to raph when it comes to this topic (especially in terms of substance abuse), i guess because he’s the “problem child”? and his 7 wing might open a vulnerability to that but for the most part… eh. mn.

i bring this subject up in regards to mikey, however, because we actually have a brief example of it in-series.

in the big brawl - part three (s2ep25), raph and mikey pass gennosuke while wandering the battle nexus market. gen is a gambler (it thus needs be remarked that gambling can be as much an addiction as a substance), and he asks them if they want to place a bet on him winning the tournament. raph immediately turns him down and tells him to “find some other sucker” while walking away… but mikey hangs back and asks what the odds on himself are. once he gets those odds he says “i gotta get in on that action!” and asks raph to help him out. raph proceeds to grab mikey by the arm, tell gen to fuck off a second time, and physically removes mikey from the interaction. you might remember me saying back in raph’s post that raph, being an 8, might be the most ‘world-wise’ out of the four. he sees this for what it is, what it could be, and he’s gently peeling mikey away from it.

and as before, let’s look at the other sins in the circle. mikey’s 6 wing, 1 stress and 5 security would give him: fear*, anger, and greed respectively.

*i mentioned in raph's post that seven of the enneagram’s cardinal sins are in line with the traditional ‘deadly sins’; 3s and 6s are the exceptions, with 3’s cardinal sin being deceit and 6’s being fear.

same as it never was with a touch of darkness within

before we dive in, let’s pause to examine 7s at their healthiest and unhealthiest. at their healthiest, 7s can be described as: joyful and satisfied, anticipating and enthusiastic, realistic and productive. at their unhealthiest, 7s can be described as: insatiable and escaping, manic (depressive) and reckless, overwhelmed and paralyzed.

mikey is kind of unique throughout the series in that we don’t really get a lot of heavy episodes with him that would latch onto his more stressed state of mind and drag it out. at least, not in the way that we do with his brothers. sainw, unsurprisingly, is when we get to see a version of mikey in his worst state, and i think there’s a lot of interesting things to examine here with his enneagram type in mind, one of which will carry into the next section.

right off the bat, something to notice about sainw!mikey: he is the ONLY person who doesn’t greet our don warmly. april hugs don. raph also hugs him (that 2 shooting to the surface for a split second). leo’s smiling widely, and he sounds relieved. but mikey? it’s "where the shell have you been?? how could you just abandon us like that?!". it's instantaneous, and he doesn't hesitate to take it a step further, because the first thing he decides to do after is take don to master splinter. that's exactly how he words it, too: "i'm taking you to master splinter". ...--like, i need you to realize how cold of a move this is in hindsight. because script-wise, it's obviously there to do an emotional reveal not just to don but also the audience. but in character context?

this master splinter died after don disappeared. which could mean that his death is information sainw!don doesn't have. but whether it’s our don or sainw!don it doesn’t matter, because mikey presents this information to don much like you drop a bucket of ice water on someone. he takes him to splinter’s grave. it’s not gentle, it's not kind, it’s harsh. as though to say: you left, the team didn’t work, and look what happened. i want you to look at it.

as i said in the stress section--as well as back in don’s post--mikey is leaning hard into his 1. the gang's all here: we got cutting remarks, we got 1’s cardinal sin in anger (resentment), we got blame, we got grim seriousness. i think we can go a bit deeper into the fact that don ‘abandoned’ them, too. for that, we need to look to the darkness within (s3ep14).

jenn (@/plantdonut) brought this to my attention a while ago; i don’t remember the context of the conversation, and i’ve searched our discord chats to no avail--i can only assume she mentioned it during a call. but her point stuck with me, and it will be heavily pulled from in the next paragraph.

mikey’s nightmare in the darkness within features leo joining the lovecraftian entity and attacking him. looking at the themes of each of their nightmares: don’s centers on loss and helplessness, leo’s was about failure, and raph’s was giving into his worst self. mikey’s seems to be about betrayal. it’s an interesting one, because i don’t think the boys have really experienced real betrayal up to this point. their companions have always been their companions, and the people who have 'turned on them' to some degree never fully gained their trust in the first place. but what’s one of the things mikey seeks out when he needs distractions? comic books. superhero comic books. a genre where betrayal is almost laughably frequent and expected to the point of parody. the concept of being betrayed by someone you trust or love is no doubt hovering around in mikey’s subconscious. he already thinks of himself and his brothers as superheroes--he IS a superhero. so, here in this nightmare, he’s experiencing his first "real" betrayal.

and it's not lost on me that... out of the four of them who almost joined the foot? leo. leo’s the one mikey’s having the nightmare about.

take this knowledge and move back to sainw. don disappearing on his family, in a time when mikey needs him most? …that’s a betrayal. sainw!mikey’s world is not only crumbling around him, but if we were to assume that his deepest fear is the same as our mikey’s, then his worst fear has also come true: someone close to him who he loves has betrayed him. don left. the team didn't work anymore. splinter died. raph and leo separated, they "aren't with anyone" anymore.

i think the only smile we get out of sainw!mikey is after don pleads to leo and raph to help him, and leo and raph shake hands. just this... brief blink-and-you-miss-it smile. it's so fleeting.

sainw is probably the most blatant example of mikey’s 1 being active, but there is one specific example we get with our mikey.

mikey beat raph that one time aaaaand uuuh--

originally this was going to be a part of the season four discussion, but it became its own thing. i don’t think i’ve ever seen anyone really take note of this, let alone acknowledge it, either. but me sitting here and putting everything through an enneagram filter while rewatching episodes made a light go off.

for starters, i need to reiterate what i said back in raph's post in the season four section: i don't agree with master splinter when he says that all of the boys except leo have healed from their wounds after defeating the shredder. i know what was more a script-thing to emphasize the journey leo's going on, but i really need to restate that i think all of the boys are on the unhealthy end of their enneagram spectrums. their stress numbers are present and active, and this is going to be one time, i think, we see our mikey lean into his. with intent.

grudge match (s4ep6) feels like the episode where the change in leo’s demeanor is beginning to have an actual effect on the family unit. the first three episodes of the season were more an adjustment and ‘’’healing’’’ period in their post-shredder lives, the fourth was leo and casey, and the fifth episode we can see leo's change isn't going away but the 'ripple effect' hasn't quite kicked in yet. it's grudge match when raph begins confronting leo on his shift in attitude and don remarks on the increased intensity of the training.

between the end of the battle nexus arc (s2ep23-26) and grudge match, mikey will sometimes boast about being the battle nexus champion (as is his god given right), and i think it's fair based on dialogue and his family's reactions that he does it off-screen, too. but.

the only time (i'm pretty frickin sure) he brings up that he beat raph is at the very, very end of the last battle nexus episode (s2ep26) and right here in grudge match. it’s no secret that mikey enjoys playfully antagonizing his brothers from time to time, and that he has a tendency to target raph with shenanigans and teasing. but the exchange in grudge match, both due to context and the energy feels… different.

at the end of the big brawl - part four, raph says mikey won on a technicality. to which mikey responds "um. TECHNICALLY, i kicked your sorry butt in one of the bouts. remember?". the energy and body language behind it is much more passive, playful and, overall, good-natured. raph doesn’t respond to it well and tackles mikey to the ground (this would be the first time leo and don are learning this specific information as well), but i think it’s safe to say the remark from mikey was meant to be more competitive ribbing than it was anything else. in grudge match, though?

before this exchange even happens, raph’s temper is already set off--he’s not starting from a more neutral, calm state like he did at the end of the big brawl. leo's insistence on more intense training has him heightened, angry, and wound up. mikey uses his win as a reason to blow off training, and this just fans the flame. raph challenges mikey's status as the battle nexus champion and states he won on sheer, dumb luck. and when mikey says “well, if i remember correctly, i beat YOU fair and square”, he doesn’t just physically lean in once, he leans in twice and that second lean is to emphasize the 'you'. we don’t get to see how raph responds because master splinter interjects, but given that immediately following mikey’s remark don visibly winces, states “ooh i don’t wanna see this”, and removes himself from the space? i think it's fair to say the result would have been... explosive.

8s are competitive. and when it comes to their competitive nature, it’s important to remember they hate losing more than they love winning. winning is good because it cements their capability, but losing is awful because it risks affirming their basic fear. 8s believe they'll be okay so long as they are strong and in control of their situation. i think raph’s feelings toward his loss go beyond just the fact that he lost to mikey. it’s less that he lost to mikey… and more how he lost to mikey. because mikey beat him not by out-fighting him, but by drawing out raph's temper and letting it get the better of him, wear him out, and ultimately be his own undoing. in a way, raph didn't lose to mikey, he lost to himself. and he did that publicly. this wasn't in the privacy of his own home during a training session, or a one-off with some purple dragons in a dark alley-way. this was public. with thousands of eyes watching. when he realizes he lost in that episode, raph says the line "i'll never be able to live with myself!" and while it's most likely dramatics, i feel like there's just the smallest sliver of truth to it. the fact it was mikey, at the end of the day, doesn't really matter. he lost agency to his temper again.

i’m bringing all of this up to say that: given the atmosphere of ‘the room’, raph’s already heightened state… this was a very bad time to dig the knife in, and mikey did it anyway. much like sainw!mikey chose to break the news of splinter's death to don in a harsh way, mikey’s choosing to defend his status in a harsh way. this could easily be an example of that 'hit-and-run' tactic i mentioned in the stress section; mikey's hitting raph with something he knows will further set him off, possibly as a way to redirect his family's frustration with him onto someone else. but, master splinter sees through it. he interjects and keeps attention focused on mikey before raph has the chance to explode.

now. i think it’s more than fair to say that mikey would know raph hates losing and that his temper is a strategic weakness, considering their fight in the battle nexus showcased he knew exactly how to work raph into being his own worst opponent, defeating him without even touching him. but remember at the beginning of the post where i said there's a bit of a disconnect between them, as their only link in the 7 is through a wing rather than a core number?

mikey may know that this is a dig at raph, but it is possible he doesn't know how deep it runs or that raph losing his temper isn't JUST a strategic weakness, it's directly tied to an 8's fear of being controlled/losing control. mikey may not know it was a bit more targeted than he intended it to be, but he doesn't pause or slow down to consider this. the 5's not here right now, the 1 is.

the first half of season four, for the last time

i’m certain there’s already been some observation about mikey and leo’s relationship throughout the first half of season four, and how--out of the brothers--mikey is the most attentive toward leo’s shift in attitude. it’s also interesting to see mikey’s assertive core and compliant wing sort of swing back and forth. i’m both going to talk about mikey’s interactions with leo, here, but toward the end, also his interactions with raph.

as discussed in raph’s post, in cousin sid (s4ep1) raph at first responds positively to leo’s shift in attitude and goes as far as to make a joke he probably shouldn’t have (ye ol' 7 wing). leo turns on him, but mikey gets between them and shuts the interaction down before it can become anything bigger. and, be it for leo’s benefit or his own, he takes charge of getting raph somewhere he won’t be a danger to himself.

in the people’s choice (s4ep2), mikey’s the one who pauses when he notices leo’s not following them to the mill and asks if he’s coming or not. it's a small moment, but he wanted leo to be included in their fun adventure.

as i said in leo’s post, we get a great exchange between leo and mikey in grudge match. to reiterate the exchange:

leo: …no. like pushing yourself beyond your limits. to a place where there are no limits. to be so focused, so ready that nothing and no one will ever catch you off guard again! mikey: um. …we still talking about me, here?

7s will do almost anything to avoid engaging in painful emotions, so when mikey picks up on the fact that leo’s projecting he points it out indirectly. leo doesn’t engage with this observation… so, mikey defaults to making a joke that he could still forfeit. but, as with this episode feeling like the first time leo's shift is shown to have a ripple effect on the family, i think this is the episode where mikey starts to engage with this shift. both in regards to leo and to his brothers.

in wing and a prayer, as i said earlier, leo tries to tell mikey that they need to train so that they’re ready for anything. mikey retorts by quoting master splinter... kind of:

“worry leads to fear. fear leads to anger. anger leads to worry. …--no, hold on. fear leads to anger. anger leads to hate. hates leads tooooo… a dark and moody leo”.

that pesky 7 of his is once again preventing him from communicating directly, but i do think mikey is trying to communicate here. and not JUST to leo. don and raph are also present, and raph even steps into frame as mikey finishes talking. they are, unfortunately, interrupted. and i hope all those pigeons are okay.

in dragons rising (s4ep10) while leo’s training at the beginning of the episode, he has a brief interaction with mikey (and klunk). mikey tries to ask him “how's it going?” but leo doesn’t respond and carries on. mikey then turns to klunk and states that “leo’s mister personality these days” and that “he’s getting tired of it, himself”. this could be his core's assertive type at play. it's expanding a bit, pushing what leo's going through away for mikey's own protection. but toward the end of the episode, after leo chews them all out and storms off, we see raph, casey and mikey in the back of the battleshell. raph verbally expresses agreement with leo, and mikey… kind of nods. i think he not only listened to leo, but also took raph’s acknowledgement/agreement into consideration. i think raph and mikey value each other's opinions a lot more than they let on. we have direct evidence of mikey looking up to raph (he asks himself "what would raph do?" in christmas aliens), and i'll get to raph in a second. back to mikey's handling of leo.

in all hallows thieves (s4ep12), mikey makes a leo-o-lantern. he could be trying to make leo laugh or smile or just… tap into the nostalgia that comes with halloween for them, but he doesn’t get much of a response.

when we finally reach samurai tourist (s4ep13), we have a small collection of things that have happened: mikey has acknowledged leo was projecting onto him in grudge match, mikey has potentially tried to communicate leo’s position and mental state to the other three in wing and a prayer, and mikey has now heard leo express his frustration that they keep losing and that he feels like the rest of them are treating it like it’s all a game. meanwhile, raph is still keeping leo at an arm’s length and is fighting with him and don still seems to be choosing not to engage with leo if he can avoid it.

at the start of the episode, raph and casey discuss leo's behavior. raph's irritated, and casey's treating the whole thing quite flippantly. likely getting antsy about the direction the conversation's heading, mikey makes an attempt to derail it: he jokes that he COULD be training, but it's free comic book day. ...it doesn't work, though. and the conversation continues. as the camera jumps around, mikey starts to look a little irritated, and this time he speaks up for real:

i think all of you should just lay off the poor guy. i mean, it can’t be fun. always being the responsible one? and we’re the ones who really benefit! raph’s free not to think because leo does all the thinking for him. don’s free to dream. and i’m free to take it easy! all because leonardo is busy being responsible enough for all of us!

i hesitate to say that mikey's 5 is doing the driving because he’s not slowing down to engage with his OWN negative and painful emotions. this is much more his 1 at play, taking the moment to 'teach' the others (and even if it is being triggered from an unhealthy state, he's right). it could also be a bit of that 6 wing, that compliant type, trying to be more directly 'in service' to leo rather than tap-dancing around the problem in wing and a prayer.

he acknowledges that the position leo’s in “is not fun”, which is a simple but important line coming from him because 7s will FLOCK toward anything 'fun' in order to avoid pain. this is a way of saying he knows leo’s in a lot of pain, and he then points out how each of them are benefiting from leo’s responsibility (including himself is some of his 5 engaging, as he’s at least embracing some of this guilt rather than denying it by virtue of expressing it).

unfortunately, we don't get to see the other two engage with this because leo pierces raph’s punching bag with his sword and raph starts to have an outburst. but this moment is also kinda interesting.

mikey shouts “easy, raph!” and helps casey hold him back, but don... doesn't do anything. i know he wasn’t standing close to raph, but we've seen him cross spaces in order to help hold raph back in the past. him choosing to remain where he is (and it's not that he's not animated, he puts his bo staff back in his belt) could be that continued choice to remain distanced and disengaged from this entire ~thing~. i think it’s also worth noting that raph’s 5 is active and, in piercing the sandbag, leo just broke one of raph’s resources. might help explain his aggressive reaction.

moving forward from samurai tourist, i mentioned back in raph’s post that there's a shift after mikey shuts their conversation down with how raph responds to leo’s behavior. i think, given that he values mikey's perspective and opinion, he took what mikey said to heart even if it is kind of too-little-too-late.

mikey calls leo’s outburst in the ancient one (s4ep14) before it happens, stating that he thinks “the cork’s about to pop on that unopened bottle”. this is followed by raph calling leo 'a hot-head' and stating that he hates it when leo reminds him of himself (a much gentler observation and description than saying "leo's gone mental"). …and right after this, we get a parallel to meet casey jones (s1ep4), with leo striking master splinter in place of raph attacking mikey. ( idk where else to put this, but while mikey, raph and don are outside splinter’s room listening to splinter and leo talk, and they turn to look at each other uncertainly? mikey looks to raph.)

after the efforts in samurai tourist, it’s kind of sad to see how mikey refers to leo in scion of the shredder (s4ep15). it would seem that compliant type has stepped back, and the assertive type is at the front of things again. where raph refers to leo as “a bum” (again, much gentler terms than we were getting before), mikey’s the one who asks if leo’s going to come back “normal… or, like… MORE normal. because before he left, he was acting kinda… y’know” and he draws a coo-coo next to his temple. raph promptly smacks him for this. leo attacking master splinter may have not only driven up mikey’s 1 (scathing remarks and judgemental views are active) but also woke up that fear of betrayal.

i dunno. it’s just interesting to see that AFTER mikey brought attention to where leo’s head is at, raph started to back off. and after leo took a step too close to something mikey’s afraid of, mikey’s quick to retreat back into old habits and--for the first time since this arc started--starting to throw insults in leo’s direction (and insults in the same line raph was taking from, no less). that compliant type might have been willing to step forward before and do a service to leo by bringing awareness to his condition… but now the assertive core has moved back into place, expanding to keep danger and pain away.

conclusion

as mentioned in part 1, the two books i referenced and heavily pulled from in the more enneagram-focused sections of this project (the parts where the enneagram itself is explained rather than how it applies to the turtles) were:

the wisdom of the enneagram by don richard riso & russ hudson

the road back to you by ian morgan cron & suzanne stabile

bro i straight up do not know how to top this off. i can’t believe i’m finally done with this after over a year and a half of working on it. <xD absolutely wild. and i just wanna thank anyone who took the time to read all of this, who left me something nice to say, and/or who shared it around. i really, really appreciate it. it’s obviously been a lot of work.

as i’ve said throughout the other posts, should i return with more things to say i’ll make addendums and link them along as i go. but for now: it’s been fun! time to return to art and fic writing. but later. because i'm braindead as all hell right now.

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt mikey #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt #;hannah's meta #;tmnt #;michelangelo #;tmnt enneagram #[ I DID IT.... I FINISHED THE THING I DID IT IA MFDSDGHSGH ]

[levmada]

Hello and congratulations for 2000 followers! I love your writing style. Can I request 22. carrying the other one in their arms for Levi please? Carrying him of course 😬😬 I wish you a good day/night

yes! and thank you very much<3

//gn!reader, grief, explicit depression, survivor’s guilt

Levi thinks, with an exhausted resignation, about getting out of bed for the millionth time since he woke up to you (his unofficial nurse, since otherwise he would’ve accepted none) setting a tray of breakfast on his bedside, and for the hundredth time since supper, now that you're running a bath in the attached bathroom.

His lack of will isn't about his ankle, though every time you or whoever that comes around asks, he bitches that he's getting rest like everyone wants, isn't he? Lay off.

It doesn’t matter. If instead of some tendons being strained, his ankle got shattered or twisted, he'd be up and dealing with it. But today... he just can't seem to stay out of bed.

This morning, he caught himself betting like he usually did who out of his squad would be awake first (always was a tie between Eld and Petra). He forgot they're dead. You suggested that that could be what’s making him like this.

They've been dead for a week. Even while he wrote every personal letter to their families, which took multiple nights as an addendum to the standard death certificates, it hadn't hit him like it did this morning.

It would’ve been more convenient if it hit him sooner. But really, he doesn't have the right to feel this way at all. They're dead, and he's alive. He owes them to at least stand up, especially now that they stand beside the other lives lost because of what Levi did or didn't do in his life.

He should be much more intent on feeling thankful that you and your squad was at the rendezvous point where the Female was trapped instead of anywhere else, and avoid all this angst. At least, lean over and sip some of the tea you made for him. He's so ungrateful. He's being lazy. He has revenge to take.

The water continues pouring out of the spout in the background, through the wall. It serves as a background melody to his inner train of thought. He remembers in great clarity the way his stomach sank in a twist when Petra's body was flung from the wagon. He feels sick about discarding their corpses. They deserved better.

How could they have died in sheer minutes? Why couldn’t Erwin have risked Levi for once, and not give him the order to refuel, keeping him away from them? Why does this always happen?

Isn’t he the one that said 'dead is dead'? Hypocrite.

He doesn't know if he was himself, if he's ever himself outside the Walls, or if he’s the caricature of his popular image—the strongest soldier in all of humanity.

He felt grief, but his first solution to the Titans that gave chase was to shed the corpses of his friends. He wishes he could reduce them to comrades-in-arms or subordinates, but he can’t. You, for example, are the love of his life.

It would be easier if he didn't feel.

What he now feels cuts deeper than grief. Pain is a sheer laceration across his heart. Blood pouring out splits his ribcage apart. Centering his attention on this wound brings a stinging sensation to his closed eyes.

He inhales in surprise as the mattress sags by his side, and fingers rake through his bangs, pushing them off his eyes.

His heavy eyes flutter open, and see you, the look on your face. It's more than enough that you're by his side still, but he sees love there. He couldn't stand it if you pitied him, but you never do.

His grey eyes look dim, and yet glittering as he watches you. He blinks several times, then turns his head away.

"Sorry," he mutters, not knowing exactly what for.

"It's alright, sweetheart," you say softly back, still stroking his hair, and his eyes squeeze shut. Something about that simple phrase tears something apart deep inside. "You're alright. It's okay."

He locks his throat. “…I'm sorry.”

You kiss his temple. "Want you to help me with the bath. I'd appreciate it, you know?"

It's a roundabout way of saying it's time to take a bath. Making it sound like it’s something he can do for you makes him feel much more convicted about getting out of this fucking bed for once today.

He nods a little, but then tenses as you lean forward, and scoop up the backs of his knees, and his back. Instinctively he clutches for your shoulders, and leans into your frame as he's lifted up and into your arms.

Some kind of bitter retort stirs in his mind, but then dissolves as you near the bathroom. He doesn’t have the energy.

His arms lock around your neck as he sighs, and lets control go for once. Lets himself be carried.

Allows you to support him.

🏷:  @ms-longbeach | @sparkywrites25 | @notgoodforlife | @ackermendick | @mrsackermannx | @youre-ackermine | @lovolee3 | @spouse-of-the-rulers-of-hell | @yoongiluuvr | @the-milk-anon | @belovedackerman | @imkumichan | @sckerman | @nao-vel | @happybird16 | @promethiumcloud | @dstrong-18 | @levisgreyeyes | @lovolee3 | @son-of-a-banchi | @halloweenmedic | @svftackerman | @leviismybby | @brujaovermoxy | @dearhyacinths | +link to sign up

#2k event #levi x mc #levi x reader #levi fluff #levi drabble #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman fluff #levi x gender neutral reader #levi x you #captain levi x you #hurt/comfort

[iamaknight]

Hello From the Past

Fellow human. I must share with you my amazing knowledge. I might not sound like one, but I am/was/will be a knight. I was ordained in the Great Order of Solitude 1000 years ago.

How can you tell I am a Knight

I always tell the truth. Not one lie has crossed my lips. As I am very truthful I demand that you to believe my claims. That is all.

"The best knight ever, watching disapprovingly at you" - DALL-E generated

Some of my wisdom today

You must understand, I can't share with you all of my wisdom. I am very knowledgeable. To impart all my wisdom onto you would be like making a new born baby talk just by staring at it. You are not prepared. You might never be prepared. And so we must embark on a journey of self fulfillness and gratification. We will do this together. And you will improve. You will learn. And one day, I might be proud of you.

That that is not now. I am not proud of you. I'm highlighting this for clarity's sake 😄

Here is your wisdom

I grew up in a small village. Back then most people did. My father was a tanner, so we had an ok life. Compared to others. My mother wasn't particularly affectionate, as she had to take care of all the children. But she always let me know that I should put effort in what I was doing. After a couple of beatings I got the point. And so, I always put all of my effort in every single thing I did in life. This single core trait is more responsible, than anything else, for me becoming a proper Knight. And this is, your new nugget of wisdom for the day.

Don't misunderstand me. I am not saying this was the only thing I did. But it was a thing.

As another addendum, don't push yourself too much. Put the effort in but know your boundaries. Many a Knight have died because they put a lot of effort in what they do.

#i am a knight #wisdom #wise #knight #best #amazing #knowledge

[ltwilliammowett]

I don't care if you wrote it or not. As a pirate I take what I like and if it's really good you can feel honoured that I put my name under it because then it was good

So you little brainless jellyfish, now you've managed to get me to tell you that again in all clarity. Since you continue to help yourself to my and other people's texts, I have reported you to everything you have appeared in, so say goodbye to your channels. Even though I think you're a troll, that's for others to decide and now fuck off.

Quick addendum, I love it when sites work and ban someone for shit like this. The brainless jellyfish no longer exists, it has been banned.

[osakanone]

How to Domesticate Your Pilot

tw: emotional abuse, abusive relationship, slavery, drug use, nonconsensual

Chapter 3: Do not abuse your wolves

Part 1: Action patterning: Initial Phases

On patterning, and its consequences.

Music: Five Sharps - Meditation for a Lost Pup

A lot of outsiders assume this one is going to be perverted in some way, like pet-play and stuff like that and really its more like being a parent until they mentally mature and come out of the adjustment period. In the beginning, a pilot's mind is regressed to a more platonic, more child-like state where their neuroplasticity is incredible compared to how it is normally, their capacity for learning is incredible: Its not unlike lysergic acid derived innocence, or things like that. Violence will genuinely traumatize them while they're in this state, so you must protect them. Even violent media will make them uncomfortable, you know? Be gentle. And be patient. Please. This is a fleeting time, and although it'll seem like it lasts forever, its over so quickly. You'll miss it, wondering where it all went. I still miss those days sometimes. You have to be a carer of sorts, as they re-learn to walk, and how to move and even speak. The result is someone who loves with the poise of a ballet trainer, the conserved motion of a boxer. Nearly inhuman levels of precision and grace. But until then, they're dependant on you. Its very short, but this is the period where they bond with you -- like a child might a mother, or as a dog might an owner -- and that bond is what makes this whole thing work. It is complete and utter selfless devotion on a level no human of sound mind is capable of comprehending: It simply isn't biologically possible for us to imagine what they're feeling, what they're going through. We just can't. The closest I've heard is its like falling in love for the first time, when love is new and beautiful and strange and pure, and you don't understand it or try to navigate it or circumvent or control it because you don't even realize it consciously. Only, its like that every day. For them, it never goes away. For the rest of their lives. -- RN, handler of Juno

Account: Sensory Sensitivity

Soundscape: The Hearts of Wolves

I cannot see, yet my ears are so young, Like when the world was new This strange clarity: I hear all; Thunder bakes the sky distantly A leaking window, through which cold wind whistles along, along Candles, whispering Slow tinkling bells along, along And the ship's engine room, four decks below along, along All separate All together: I hear all. -- Juno, pilot of RN, transcribed record taken during the adjustment period of action patterning

Addendum 2:

Q: "Is it ethical?"

Many self-elect, thinking it would fix them, that they want to be fixed… But they really don't understand what they're getting into. The worst is that after its done, even if they wouldn't have wanted it before, they would have no idea of that possibility now. It would be completely alien to them. We have absolutely no way of ever knowing if any of these are truly consensual, or have ever been consensual. -- LR

#Mechposting #How To Domesticate Your Pilot

[katzenklavierr]

The thing about tone indicators is that there’s a few of them (/j and /s, for example), that have been around a long time, are well established, and can generally be easily sussed out from frequency and repeated context. Most others are new inventions created in an attempt to overcome some of the limitations of text communication, specifically to clear up speaker intent and usually framed as helping autistic people in particular.

There’s a couple of problems with this. This is a relatively new concept to be used with such frequency, and while new doesn’t mean bad, do you really think people in decades prior have done absolutely nothing to “indicate tone” before the introduction of these little acronyms? Casual text-based communication is littered with subtle tone indication the same way that spoken speech is, and if tone is unclear from context or has been misunderstood, people tend to just, well, clarify what they mean.

Expecting autistic people (or anyone) to memorize a list of acronyms that is inconsistent in both number and meaning doesn’t really help us. You’re just creating a new form of inaccessibility and social codes we have to memorize when you could, instead, just explain what you mean clearly. E.g. saying “I’m not mad” instead of using “/nm”, which I just learned what ppl meant by today, as I’ve been reading it as “nevermind”.

You can’t say “just google it” when different sources say different things, and some of these are obscure enough that you might not be able to find it. You could save us both the trouble by speaking clearly to begin with.

Additionally, the nature of human communication means that people, yes even autistic people, will use these new lexical items in creative and unintended ways. For example, using the /srs (serious) tag to emphasize that they are joking, therefore negating any clarity that tag was intended to serve. You can’t really stop people from doing this and it’s foolish to try; most people are never going to stick to straightforward language usage even when it excludes people who “don’t get the joke.” Any term coined to circumvent sarcasm will ironically lend itself perfectly to sarcasm.

Point being, you can’t expect that everyone using a tone indicator is using it sincerely. If someone sends me an invasive or seemingly bad-faith question and tacks /gen (general genuine *) to the end of it, it doesn’t change the fact that the question itself is the problem regardless of declared intent (keyword: declared). In other words: people can still lie or be misleading, and intent isn’t everything when it comes to communicating. Therefore, this addendum to communication seems to cause more problems than it supposedly solves.

* another example of lack of clarity; I was corrected on what this tag stood for

Lastly, assuming that every autistic person you meet needs to have things spelled out for them comes across as condescending and infantilizing. The way some of you talk about us like we’re stupid toddlers who are completely helpless in any social situation is, honestly, pretty insulting, even to those of us who do struggle with communication. Each of us is different, so meet our needs as we request them of you rather than assuming.

If tone indicators help you, that’s great, but in my opinion (and that of many other autistics), it’s a much better strategy to explain yourself clearly with words and to ask for direct clarification when necessary if you’re worried about miscommunication.

#this was originally a tag ramble but I decided to just make my own post #Salem shouts into the void #long post #actually autistic #for those who are curious /s started off as a programming joke #originally people would write out &lt;/sarcasm&gt;

[lowhowl]

Hey, so I'm kinda starting to put a lot more focus into personal projects (currently writing the script for my next video) and as much as I was hoping to avoid this, I'm going to have to place this blog on hiatus until I start to get muse again, even if 'hiatus' is just tumblrspeak for 'So long, losers.'

I'm not going to definitively say I'm going away, or that I'll come back, but a lot of my inspiration for writing has gone elsewhere and I'd much rather pursue that than risk burning myself out.

I can be reached at my twitter @/WebbedSpiders (slight nsfw warning, account is minors dni) where I'm a lot more candid, mostly tweet at other creators, post my own stuff, and complain; or my Discord, for close mutuals.

also, a bit of an addendum below the cut- it's under a cut specifically bc it waxes negative but I feel like it's important to say because it is cutting into my ability to write here.

fair warning, I'm going to be very blunt and kind of serious with my words here. this also isn't an invitation to discussion, I am plainly stating my thoughts and I will not be swayed.

disclaimer: this is not directed at anyone. please, for the love of the gods, do not take any of this as 'oh did I do something?' you didn't. This is more about how the roleplay community as a whole operates, and no single person can be blamed for any of this.

There's always an air of pressure about Tumblr communities. In the time where I've just been here talking to people, interacting, not really causing problems as far as I know, I've still managed to get softblocked by people just because of association or because I don't mention something at all.

And while it's well within the right of these people to do this- these systems exist so you can curate a safe corner for yourself- it has still created a lot of stress for me and it has lead to me overly moderating and overanalyzing a lot of my own posts, and worrying about what exactly I'd done to push these people away. To be brutally honest, that's not fun and is not conducive to a creative platform. Logging on to realize that threads you were very much looking forward to have effectively been dropped forever is disheartening.

and I think the argument of "well you should think about why you got (soft)blocked" in regards to if I'd done anything wrong is bullshit, because in every case that someone has broken mutuals with me after there's been an amount of IC interaction, there's been no discussion. There's been no clarity. Which means that there's no direct path to improvement or closure unless I go around asking other people why I was blocked, softblocked, whatever, and I'm simply not going to do that because that feels like a breach of privacy. At the very least, it comes off as an indication that the other person simply does not want to interact with you and does not want to even talk to you.

Should note, this doesn't really bother me if it happens with people I haven't really spoken to. This is more of a 'I thought we established we were cool' thing. I know I'm also guilty of this in some cases, but at the same time- I do regret doing it. I hate that it's just accepted as a product of the systems this community has set up, and I feel like everyone- no matter how severe their actions- deserves to at least know what everyone at least thinks or knows they did.

I'm also not stupid, I know that this is just the community that Tumblr has curated over the years and I understand that this is just how it operates, but I'm starting to realize that maybe this space just isn't for me. Creating for myself without the necessity of leaning on others for continuous threads has really broadened my horizons and made me feel like I can do a lot more. I still love Whisper. I still love writing. but if I'm going to continue with this blog down the line when I have muse again, I'm going to be very selective and it's going to be very sparingly. I've found a passion I care about- something that I can actually put all of my creative skills towards that can reach an audience- and I'd much rather focus on that.

If you read all this, thank you, but also. I'm sorry? This probably reads as aggressive and upset- but I've been holding on to a lot of these complaints for upwards of years from how long I've been on this platform, floating between roleplay communities, but I can't hold it in anymore. I hate to say it, but in the time I've spent away from Tumblr, I've just felt better.

#🐺 ✧ 🗲 𝗲𝘆𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘀 ▬ OOC #tw negative

[eievuimultimuse]

VERSE 004. BALAENOPTERA MUSCA.

Balaenoptera: 'winged whale' ; Musca: genus for flies, including the housefly (Musca domestica) ; additionally, a play-on words of 'Balaenoptera musculus,' a.k.a. the blue whale and also the largest known animal to have ever lived.

post-cure addendum.

➤ AU inspired by the ending of the Mut.ant May.hem junior novelization

➤ After Superfly fell in the ocean along with his machine, he just…vanished. Despite the spoken concerns about the effects of allowing a machine full of MUTAGEN sink into the ocean, it…seemingly sank with little fanfare. Superfly never resurfaced. For all intents and purposes, it seemed like it was over. They stopped his apocalyptic plan, and the world was saved. If anything else popped up, they’d be ready, but for now…THIS WAS IT.

➤ Of course, that wasn’t actually it. The TRANSFORMATION that Superfly underwent as a result of exposure to the ooze and other creatures still very much took place. Instead of resurfacing and attacking New York, a disoriented and dazed Superfly wound up retreating further into the ocean. When he did eventually snap back to reality ( and also comprehended just what was happening to him ), he'd already become a fusion of various other creatures. Recognizing the circumstances he was left with, he opted to take advantage, using both his newfound strength and size as well as his current M.I.A. ( or worse ) status to continue carrying out his plan. Although he could no longer cause an apocalypse as originally planned, he figured becoming the ULTIMATE MUTANT would be a decent back-up.

➤ This plan was, admittedly, a little...SHORT-SIGHTED, particularly to the mental effects that fusing with so many other creatures would have ( granted, he was already not the most sound of mind when he thought up the plan in the first place because of aforementioned effects ). In this state, Superfly experiences episodes of brain fog, where his ability to think, concentrate and even remember things are impaired. In the early stages of his transformation, this was no more than having a lack of mental clarity than usual, with the rare bout of confusion. Now at the size he is at, he regularly experiences an inability to focus and multiple episodes of memory lapses. It is not uncommon for him to pursue a line of thinking only to shortly forget it within minutes. ( Occasionally, he even forgets why he's even doing any of this or how he wound up here. ) Ultimately, while his personality has remained unchanged and, while lucid, he still has sharp wits, he is not as quick as he once was.

➤ Due to spending longer in the ocean ( and thus assimilated far more animals ), Superfly is larger than his canon kaiju form was. While difficult to really gauge, if his canon form was just shorter than an apartment building in New York ( minimum 115ft, but could even be taller than that ), then he is at least double that, if not pushing triple. Having the mutagen-filled machine attached to his back basically meant that he just...kept absorbing animals as he travelled — something that he couldn't really control. Thankfully, the mutagen eventually dissipated and ran out after some time, so he's pretty much capped out at the size he is.

➤ Word of his existence is slowly spreading, particularly among sea vessels. This is following a series of random boat capsizes and at least one incident of an entire cruiseship going missing. When initial reports of the cause being a 'SEA MONSTER' came in, it was dismissed as hysteria. A few mishaps later, however, even skeptics are none too sure if there isn't something malicious lurking in the depths. ( Though some of these incidents have occurred a fair ways from North America, one can expect that he never strays far from home for long. Sooner or later, he winds up back near New York again. )

➤ Questionable if the anti-mutagen would work as intended at this current stage; the significant difference in size might not be as large a factor as one might anticipate, but the duration of him being in this state might. There is a possibility that he's built up a tolerance; while he can still be picked apart, injecting it straight into his bloodstream might not completely dismantle him as it would have had he resurfaced sooner.

#SUPERFLY. / VERSE INFO. #body horror // #ask to tag // #( VERSE DROP JUMPSCARE OOGA BOOGA /silly #anyway hiiiii [twirling my hair] kaiju SF horrors real <3 #fyi: the symptoms he experiences are also based off of those tht '87 baxter experiences as a fly ) #SUPERFLY. / VERSE 004. BALAENOPTERA MUSCA.

[froggynelson]

i was looking for a pic of nmcu/mcu foggy to show someone in a poll submission form (too late, got closed, doubt he would have gotten in anyway), and suddenly, in a moment of clarity amid my Finally Getting Better From Covid lucidity, i was hit with a wistful feeling: just looking at him, without any attachment to quotes or posting or fic or anything transformative or tiktok comments, just my eyes of someone who woke up from tiredness and sickness, i just saw some guy. that's literally just some guy.

with this feeling i was hit with just how much he could have just been yet another mid live action mcu adaptation of a comic character, which happens all the fucking time, but fandom failed him, fanon failed him, we all failed mcu foggy. he could have been the just some guy that he is... i still dislike mcu/nmcu foggy but i feel like this gave me more perspective and clarity

just my two honest cents from a moment of clarity and sympathy from a (hopefully nuanced) unrepentant hater

two addendums to the post though:

ADDENDUM 1: all i say here is just about characters. i bear no ill will to actors. actors are just people with a job paid to play some fake people, i have no reason to be mad abt any actor who isn't an irl piece of shit, and this isn't the case here

ADDENDUM 2: when i say mid i mean that in the most neutral way, literally middle of the road. you can dislike things that are mid and you can like them. i think all live action adaptations of foggy are mid but i like only the 2003 one bc i have a soft spot for the movie. said middle of the road judgement also means i don't hold any grudge for nmcu/mcu foggy likers, as long as you're not up your neck in fanon, as that is what i dislike most

#i would say more on tags but i dont want this to show up on the search bc thats not fair. his tag is already clogged with overtagged posts #and i dont wanna add to it #maybe ill reblog with more later and tag this for organization in a way just so i can find it in my blog

[bludleads]

Leander's Multiverse is heavily connected to and based upon the lore of @deathleads and @hmrtia, thus the abilities work the same within the multiverse. To give a spark notes version ― Leander was a budding knight and alchemist of a now long-gone kingdom in Germany, learning from a witch-like alchemist before her flight to the unknown hundreds of years ago. He drank from her elixir of life, and is thus immortal as she. So for clarity, I'm going to include her main-verses information on their alchemy here. To be added to his carrd in his verses.

Philosopher’s Stone & Alchemy. Origin & Creation.

A first Note:  As this muse was born in the FMA canon, pieces of her story  are  inspired  by the means and methods of alchemy in that universe. Most are of my own thoughts. If you want to know  which  was taken as inspiration from  FMA,  just ask!  (  though I may make addendums when applicable. )

I.   ―   For a start, let’s go over some important definitions within Alchemy.

Qistina’s repeated mantra of  ‘ Equivalent Exchange ’  is pivotal to the understanding and transmutations of alchemy.

The Law of Conservation of Mass, which states that energy and matter can neither be created from nothing nor destroyed to the point of elemental nonexistence. In other words, to create an object with the mass of one kilogram, at least one kilogram of material is necessary; destroying an object with the mass of one kilogram would reduce it to a set of parts, the sum of which would have the mass of one kilogram.*

The Law of Natural Providence, which states that an object or material made of a particular substance or element can only be transmuted into another object with the same basic makeup and properties of that initial material. In other words, an object or material made mostly of water can only be transmuted into another object with the attributes of water.*

II.   ―   ‘ To obtain, something of equal value must be lost ’.   Attempting to bypass this Law of Equivalent Exchange will result in a  REBOUND.  Too much attempted out of too little, when alchemical forces are thrown out of balance on either side of the equation will fluctuate wildly of their own accord in order to stabilize themselves  -  taking or giving more than what was intended is often unpredictable and catastrophic in ways such as accidental mutation, serious injury, or death.  This is why false philosopher’s stone are incredibly dangerous to use.

Alchemy itself is learned by the understanding of constructing and deconstructing matter, channeling that power through the matrix of a circle - an array. ( or the pressing of array against array ) However, simply knowing  Alchemy  is not enough. One must use a transmutation circle with the appropriate runes in order to transmute, unless the person is a matrix. For example, you can know how to boil water, but you need a fire and a pot to do so.

III.   ―   Each person contains a Gate of god   -  Of Infinity  -  The Ein Sof. The Gate is inscribed with the Tree of Life / the Sefirot, and within that gate is the Truth to all. The TRUTH is the world. it is ALL. it is ONE. it is You. 

IV.   ―   Through the ten emanations on the sefirot, the Ein Sof  ( The Infinite )  reveals itself and continuously creates both the physical realm and the chain of higher  metaphysical  realms.   The Ein Sof represents the formless state of the universe before the self-materialization of god. In other words, the Ein Sof is god before he decided to become god as we now know  him. Through this connection to god and infinity, one is able to perform alchemy. 

The sefirot etched upon the gate is a complex array of the soul that houses ten emanations. To go within that gate is to have pure knowledge about the world, the universe, alchemy, and everything be forced into the alchemist's mind as the Truth, as god, breaks them down both physically and mentally, to become a part of the flow of the universe. However, through a proper toll is the Alchemist able to escape unharmed with their learned knowledge intact. Closer to godhood, still alive. A painful toll always taken as a meaningful lesson. Never to kill the alchemist, but to make them learn. They have no say in the matter. 

When the alchemist returns from the gate, they have seen the Eye of God. Gazed into Infinity. Therefore, they do not need a matrix made of blood, ink, or otherwise. They become that matrix, and do not need an array to transmute  -  they need only press their hands together.

V.   ―   The words inscribed around her array directly from the sefirot  /  not the symbols themselves ( see the Alchemy tab on my carrd for a further explanation of her array ) : 

Yesod  -  It is seen as a vehicle allowing movement from one thing or condition to another ( the power of connection ) Da'at  -  In Daʻat, all sefirot exist in their perfected state of infinite sharing. Gevurah  -  " the essence of judgment (DIN) and limitation ", and corresponds to awe and the element of fire Chokmah  - Wisdom.  " the potential of what is ", or, " the potential to be. "

All in One. The Truth is within gods realm. Within that realm is the Ein Sof/Gate. Within that gate is god before it was god. Anywhere, everywhere.

VI.   ―   The earth itself in her universe is a massive organism, and therefore, has a gate of its own. The truth behind that  Ein Sof  is, in simple terms, the god of all. Therefore is indeed possibility to create a true Philosopher’s Stone. By entering the gate of the earth, an Alchemist can essentially obtain any amount of information for however long they wish without physical consequence. However, once an Alchemist has made this choice, their soul will not return to the gods domain to experience everlasting eternity until reincarnation. Their soul will remain within the realms of both their own Gate and the gate of Earth in a state of existence and non-existence.

VII.    ―   The Philosopher’s Stone she transmuted was created by method of accessing Earth’s Gate. Through that endless knowledge. It is made of everything and nothing all at once. You could say it is a concentrated stone with god as its only and every ingredient. Boundless power, eternal life, one’s soul that is transfixed with the Truth’s. Calling upon  ALL  to transmute, ignoring the laws of Equivalent Exchange.

VIII.   ―   The stone is not a ‘stone’. It is only labeled as a stone. It is closer to mercury or mercury sulfide. 

ex. explanation of mercury. its appearance, etc. ( hint. it’s one of the reasons I refer to her eyes as Vermillion, as the pigment was historically made of mercury sulfide, and why I’ve included it as a symbol on her array )

IX.   ―   Qistina first drew upon the gate of Earth, using the little bit of knowledge learned to transmute, she could look at it without consequence, though still following equivalent exchange  ( even her transmutation of Basker/ a chimera ) ,  she continued to learn from it up until her flight from her village in the mid 1500′s. When placed upon the pyre in town, to be burned alive as a  ‘ witch ’  ,  she entered a state of both life and death. Because of this, she could enter  within  the gate this time, rather than simply gazing upon it. Taking the power of the earth and her own learned knowledge, she destroyed the town and its people and gave herself her freedom. Through no physical consequence, but, her soul would be married to the soul of that entity. A fact she would not learn until she created the stone itself, and met once more with  ‘god’.

X.   ―   Even in this method, it could be said that her slaughter of the village was indeed a toll paid to create the stone. To live with the guilt. To kill the ones whom she desired acceptance from the most. Sometime after this incident, after being captured by the King of that country for several years, she created a true Philosopher’s Stone. Drank from it. And made her escape once again, killing any and all who happened to be in her way.

XI.   ―  So long as the stone exists, she exists. So long as the earth exists, she exists. Her only respite from life is self destruction. No matter the eradication of her physical form, her soul will be forever tied to the earth itself, thus she will always come back.  

#🜃 | piercing through the bloodied muck. searching. searching. | multi. #🜃 | warmed by the soul within | mage's magic. #and lowkey thinking of just implementing this into his main magic as well HMM #ah yes. i knew one day my info and muse from 2016-2023 would come in handy

[risu5waffles]

So just as an addendum on this post

i took a screenshot from the video when i was editing other stuff today, so here's that.

Which kind of brings up something that came up when i was talking about the whole thing on stream, which was (paraphrased) "is that a generally ok word to use, or is that just a word for queer folx to use?" For clarity, the person asking was someone who i know and trust, and was good faith asking, not, like, as some roundabout "gotcha! look at the hypocrite!" kinda of deal. And i have to admit, i did, and do need to have a little ponder over that. 'cause, like, sure you can go to uni and take courses in Queer Studies, and Queer Theory is a whole branch of media analysis, but it would still feel a little weird if i heard someone cishet saying they had a queer friend at work? Should it? It feels like the answer ought to be no, but it still kind of does? This is my level, and i'm talking about my own experience as a queer person, and i would like to say to any younger queer kids who come across it that they can take pride in being queer. Their experience should be something they celebrate. But, like, it will also be a level that will be publicly open to anyone who stumbles across it; the majority of whom, statistically speaking, will be neither queer, nor wiv the life experience of someone wiv 45 years under her belt, or any of the nuance or background of where i'm coming from. And do i want to give them the impression the word is something to just toss around? Maybe i do? Maybe that's all part of taking a word back? i don't really have any good answer to the question, and i won't need one until i get to the text input stage of things which might be a while yet (provided the whole project doesn't collapse into the singularity of "bitch, you went and tried to cram too much in, and now nothing will load wivout something breaking." Again). But it's still a question i really ought to have a good sitdown wiv, it feels like.

#littlebigplanet #little big planet #lbp #lbp3 #queer

[redstringraven]

an excruciatingly long ramble about the ‘03 turtles and the enneagram 🐢💜 pt4

[ intro + disclaimers post ] [ pt 2 - raph ] [ pt 3 - leo ] [ pt 5 - mikey ]

don, 5 with a 4 wing

addendums: [ 1 ]

intro

alright, donnie-bear, it’s your turn in the spotlight. which i know you hate, so i’ll try not to keep you too long.

don doesn’t really get to have like… a season-wide growth or 'arc' of sorts (leo’s is a main focus of season four and raph’s is more of a subtle thing you can notice as the series progresses). what’s interesting is, in some ways, being a 5 could explain that. IF we wanted to be charitable and say never addressing the wild shit don goes through was intentional. but i know that’s more self-indulgence or wanting to gently take the writers by their shoulders and shake them on my end.

please, flying spaghetti monster, get these boys some goddamn therapy.

let’s begin.

bare basics of the 5

5s are one of the three withdrawn types (along with 4s and 9s), and they’re members of the head triad (made of 5s, 6s and 7s).

the withdrawn types lack differentiation between their conscious self and their unconscious, unprocessed thoughts, impulses and feelings. their unconsciousness constantly wells up into consciousness through daydreams and fantasies. all three of the withdrawn types respond to stress by moving away from engagement with the world around them and into an “inner safe haven” in their imagination. in other words, they have a habit of “zoning out”.

the head triad may also be referred to as the ‘thinking’, ‘reason’ or ‘fear’ triad. members of this triad are concerned with anxiety; they carry a great deal of fear and are driven by it. they feel they experience a lack of support and guidance, and because of this they often engage in behaviors they believe will enhance their safety and security. they take in and relate to the world through the mind, and they tend to think and plan carefully before they act. 5s externalize it, 6s internalize it, and 7s forget it.

a 5’s basic fear is that of being helpless, useless, overwhelmed or incapable

their basic desire is to be capable and competent

they believe they’ll be okay so long as they have mastered something

childhood take-aways

as you likely expect, we return to the quote from master splinter in things change (s1ep1):

“your path in life will not be an easy one. the outside world will not be a friendly place for you. you four are different in ways the surface dwellers would never understand. to survive, you must master these skills i teach you: the powers of stealth and secrecy. you must become kage, shadow warriors, and you must never be discovered by the outside world.”

young 5s tend to be quiet children who occupy their time with books, collecting insects or plants, learning a musical instrument, using a computer, or playing board games or with chemistry sets rather than participate in play with their peers. anxious parents might find themselves coaxing their young 5 into basic activities--joining a sports team or going to a playground--in an effort for their child to be more ‘normal’; these efforts are often met with intense resistance from the 5. the 5 will sometimes feel overwhelmed by their protective figures, and they'll seek out other ways to feel secure and confident.

as children, 5s see the world around them with startling clarity. they elaborate on it in their minds, which will have repercussions later on for better or for worse. these types value independence--or, more accurately: non-intrusion. early on, 5s learn to believe that by not asking much from you, you won't ask much of them; through that, 5s attain safety and a feeling of control. as a way of defending themselves, they learn to cut themselves off from nurturance--any painful feelings of need and longing--by staying in their minds.

something i find interesting about the lesson (s3ep13) in retrospect of the enneagram is what don and leo choose to focus on when teaching a young casey. now, i know in some way the choices were kind of narrative jokes (as well as poking fun at the fact they’re like eight-years-old and trying to teach something complex like martial arts) but i think, in don’s case, there’s a bit more going on.

leo, who in his older years more focuses on strategy, went for meditation as his starting point (likely remembering where his own ninjitsu training might have begun and wanting to do it 'right') whereas don went for strategy as HIS starting point.

one could argue that out of the four brothers, don is the ‘weakest’ fighter (in terms of technique and natural skill, NOT physical strength; i will get to that). rather than focus on where his ninjitsu training began and giving casey the chance to see if his own physical abilities can develop, don goes right into where he knows HE’S capable: the thinking aspect. planning.

splinter says “to survive, you must master these skills”, and here is a young don already recognizing that out of the four of them, he needs to rely on something more than just ninjitsu skills alone.

don’s best tool in an actual confrontation at this point--what would keep him capable and ‘not useless’--would be navigating a battlefield strategically and keeping himself one step ahead of his opponent.

in flashbacks from tales of leo (s1ep19), we can see don’s built himself a little robot car. this, obviously, will serve no form of protection or security in an actual fight or time of emergency; it’s a toy. he’s a child with a still-developing brain and knowledge of the craft. there's no context to if this story takes place before or after the events of the lesson, but it's evident he's already pursuing other areas to (hopefully!) master outside of ninjitsu that could aid him later.

don as a 5

5s can sometimes be nicknamed: ‘the thinker’, ‘the innovator’, ‘the observer’, ‘the sage’, ‘the specialist’, ‘the radical’, or ‘the expert’.

more than any type, 5s want to find out why things are the way they are. behind their relentless pursuit of knowledge is a deep insecurity about their ability to function successfully. 5s feel that they do not have an ability to do things as well as others. they believe in the safety and security of their own minds.

5s are highly motivated by a desire to understand. to them, gathering knowledge and mastering information are keys to survival. 5s collect and horde information like dragons to gold; they want to know at least a little bit about every obscure topic. they don’t want to appear foolish or uninformed, or be humiliated by not having the correct answer. while don’s physically present at the hockey game in the golden puck (s2ep18), he’s got his nose in a book about the sport's history. this could not only be his 5’s desire to collect information, but also an attempt to understand something casey (and maybe by proxy, raph) is interested in.

5s have a presentational or lecture-like “talking style”; if you ask them what they feel, they’re more likely to tell you what they think. due to this, they tend to respond to problems rather than react to them. it’s this ability that helps don stay as the level-head out of the four brothers. like 9s, 5s are able to remain neutral and see both sides of a conflict. but where a 9 might be worried about hurt feelings, a 5 will look at the situation objectively and shoot straight with you (a contributing reason to why raph might respond better to don calling him out than leo or mikey; don is always going to be straight-forward with him, something 8s, as we covered, value). raph and leo, being on the gut-triad, have a tendency to react to their instinct, and mikey doesn’t always slow down enough to exercise his 5 (it’s his security number, and we’ll get to that).

from a narrative/’tope’ standpoint, you could look at don having 'random' knowledge outside of his usual science and engineering expertise as him filling his narrative role as “the smart one”, but his 5 could also serve as an explanation for why he just… can either read or recognize an italian phrase in the darkness within (s3ep14) or why he has a pigeon puppet in search for splinter (s1ep25) that my bird-loving ass continues to be DELIGHTED over to this day. a 5 never wants to be put in a position where they have to depend on others to take care of them. the idea of losing their independence and self-reliance terrifies them. so, they gather all sorts of information and ideas and resources they deem potentially useful later.

and semi-due to this, the average 5 has a bit of a scarcity mentality. they’re careful to measure how much time they’re spending with others in comparison to time they spend honing their abilities to master something or expand their knowledge. this might lead to them hoarding their space, time, and even affection. it’s common for a 5 to have a space that is THEIR space. this could be as small as a specific chair they always retreat to for reading (that they get a little territorial about should you find yourself sitting in it one day), a corner of the garage, or a larger space such as a study or work-room. don, of course, has his lab which seems to be a (questionably) repurposed subway car for the majority of the series. i don’t know how he got it in the lair… that’s a question for another day. and given a 5’s secrecy and independence it, frankly, wouldn’t surprise me if no one knows how he got it in there. we'll touch on that more in a bit.

don’s wing was probably the hardest for me to pin down out of the brothers. i remember on the same site i saw raph being labeled as an 8w9, don was a 5w6. it took a lot of thinking, a lot of reviewing, but i’ve decided i disagree.

it’s possible he might reach for the 6’s influence from time to time, but i decided on 4 for two key reasons:

5s with a 6 wing tend to be more argumentative and will even actively antagonize people who disagree with them and their views (gives me more stockman energy than it does don; not saying stockman is a 5, tho), and

when mikey’s talking about the different freedoms they all have due to leo shouldering most of the responsibility in samurai tourist (s4ep13), he says don’s free to ‘dream’.

mikey’s insight and that word choice are important. again, i can’t help but wonder if the site’s decision to give don a 6 for a wing was to fully put him on the thinking triad rather than give him a foot in the feeling triad.

the 4’s influence brings with it the more surreal and fantastical; 5w4s are more creative and often seek niches unexplored by others, able to tap into the imaginative side of their brain rather than only the analytic. i think it goes without saying that several of don’s inventions are outside the norm and incredibly creative and innovative. the tunneler, whose existence would even be the undoing of the shredder in another world, is a fantastic example of this. additionally, don's limited access to resources forces him to think and problem-solve more even creatively, and i wouldn't be surprised if that fueled and developed his 4 more than his 6.

5s with a 4 wing are sometimes nicknamed ‘the iconoclast’. they’re creative, sensitive, and empathetic. they’re not always sure what to do with their feelings and prefer to process them in solitude. these 5s are more prone to experiencing melancholy, but they’re less emotionally guarded around others and tend to be better at being kind to themselves. they tend to be more creative than the other sub-type; their tinkering with familiar forms, ideas and concepts can lead to startling innovations. they’re often drawn to the arts, and their curiosity and perceptiveness combine with the desire to express their unique and personal visions.

stress & security numbers

don’s stress number is a 7, so in times of high stress and low spirits he’ll begin to express the negative traits associated to 7s. stressed 5s hoard and cling more tightly to things, make their world smaller and smaller, and will turn their attention away from the needs of others. in worst-case scenarios, they might refuse to help at all or even become hostile to the suggestion, as it would require them to use their valuable time, energy and resources that keep THEM safe. they might become frivolous, disorganized and distracted to the point of not being able to complete tasks and stop thinking about the consequences of their behavior. they’ll begin feeling even more inadequate, feel sorry for themselves, and do whatever they can to avoid pain.

these 5s become more impulsive, their minds speed up--restless and agitated--and they feel more compelled to distract themselves. under extreme stress, they might even become aggressive and insensitive in their pursuit of… whatever it is they want at the time.

examples of don’s 7 showing up could include:

his outburst at his brothers at the start of return to the underground (s2ep13), his frustration with himself for not being able to find a cure for their friends below, and remaining confined/isolated to his lab while his brothers continue to go about their lives and other activities

straight up ripping professor honeycutt’s head off in worlds collide pt1 (s3ep5) because he panicked. funny as it was, mikey’s right… that was kind of extreme. aggressive, impulsive, and insensitive, one might even say

we get a glimpse of one of don’s workstations in bad day (s4ep8) and it's a complete mess. it’s possible that leo’s shift in attitude is wearing don down internally. he’s not taking care of his spaces, and he might not be taking care of himself much, either.

in dragons rising (s4ep10), when leo’s hanging off the back of a truck and mikey’s sliding on the hood of the battleshell, there's a pair of dragons in a truck behind them. those dragons rear-end the battleshell, and don doesn’t hesitate to shoot a fucking missile right into the driver’s seat. had those dragons not thought fast enough to bail, they'd be off the census.

also in this episode, after don tries to look on the bright side (saying they stopped half the convoy) and leo snaps at him, he’s turned away from leo for the rest of the scene--he’s even cut out of the frame in one shot. boy has: completely withdrawn from the ‘conversation’ while the others remain engaged and listening.

don’s security number is an 8, so when mentally and spiritually healthy he’ll begin to adopt the positive traits associated with 8s. with the influence of their 8, 5s become more spontaneous, outspoken and physically present. they get energetic, confident, and much more talkative. the difference can be quite striking to people, leading to playful questions like “what’s gotten into don today?”.

secure 5s become more willing to participate rather than just observe. they feel empowered to take on major challenges, and some will even pursue or assume leadership roles. rather than fear the loss of the abilities or expertise that they’ve been careful to cultivate in isolation, they harness those skills strategically and constructively. they come out of their own heads and embrace a deeper contact with their vitality and physicality. they can take on a whimsical or dark sense of humor, and take delight in puns and wordplay. a more mischievous, lively and elfin side of them begins to show through. a 5 who wants to experience the abundance of life without worrying about what they can afford to lose is one on the high side of an 8.

examples of don’s 8 surfacing could include:

whenever we see him engaging in play with his brothers; he’s not only choosing to be present and share his time with them, but he also seems to--pardon the pun--come out of his shell a bit more. examples could include darkness at the edge of town (s1ep6), reflections (s2ep9), space invaders pt 1 (s3ep2), nobody’s fool (s3ep11), and time travails (s3ep17)

in the king (s1ep16) when the champions all battle cry and rush into the fight, he joins them. battle cry and all. fucking dweeb.

suggesting they all go get ice cream in the ultimate ninja (s2ep10); it’s small, but don’s choosing to not only remain present but to leave the lair and do an unplanned activity with the others

any time he exercises that gentleman’s snark of his, but i’m going to choose a class favorite: “nighty night, dragon-boy” from cousin sid (s4ep1)

how giddy and talkative he is at the start of return of savanti (s4ep20).

don’s 8 is subtle, but it breaks his habitual patterns. people who aren’t that familiar with him might think this is just him behaving ‘normally’, but those who do know him understand that he prefers being left to his projects, studies, and ideas. when he chooses to not only be present in the moment and spend his valuable time with his loved ones, it’s him leaving his safe spaces, risking to use up those resources he so carefully maintains and allowing himself to feel good and be confident in areas he’s normally not. his 8’s a little difficult to spot, but it’s there if you know how to spot a 5 dipping their toe into gremlin-mode. and it is highly endearing.

just don’t tell sam regiel that, he lives 24/7 in gremlin-mode, sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally, none of us are safe--

cardinal sins - 5 and greed

much in the way that raph’s cardinal sin wasn’t a surface-level explanation, neither is don’s. because i can already hear some folks protesting in regard to how generous and selfless he is. i hear you, and you’re correct. materialistically, 5s can be extremely generous. … however, as the greediest greed to ever greed once said:

“you humans think greed is only about money and power. but everybody wants something they don't have.”

remember that the thinking and head triad can also be called the ‘fear’ triad, and that types in this triad struggle with and are driven by fear. fear makes 5s shrink inward, and avarice makes them hoard whatever minimal resources they have around them. their greed, their avarice, focuses on their inner resources, their energy, and their time. they’re greedy for knowledge and improving their expertise, and they can easily feel intruded upon and learn to protect themselves by emotionally withdrawing from people.

5s want to conserve their energy and resources in order to avoid needing others too much, trying to take as little from the environment and those around them as possible. they feel as though there is not much of them to go around, and the needs of others can deplete or exhaust them. don even laments in his official profile that he longs for the day he can be left alone to explore his interests, and that maybe someday "he'll have the time he needs".

in new blood (s3ep12) don 'cheats' at their game of ninja hide-and-seek by using nightvision goggles to quickly find his brothers. he's both making up for, in his mind, his natural skill at the game, and he's possibly looking to speed things up a bit so he can return to what HE wants to use his time doing. i think it's also worth noting that in city at war pt3 (s2ep16), don’s the one who asks karai what’s in it for them should they agree to help her. in exchange for the valuable resources the turtles will give to help karai (their time, their energy, their literal safety), what do they get in return?

it’s also important to recognize that 5s consider information a resource. due to this, 5s are extremely private and secretive people. it’s rare for any one person to know everything about a 5; each colleague or friend might have a part of a 5’s story, but no one person or even group of people will have the whole story. 5s might even go out of their way to not introduce certain circles of friends to each other due to an underlying fear that they all might talk to each other and be able to piece together what information about the 5 they have. that information--their lives and experiences--is THEIRS. keeping that hidden away, not sharing that resource, is a method of security.

i think we get a fair amount of glimpses into this aspect of don throughout the series, and the first is quite earliy on, but small. when they meet april (s1ep3), don’s not the one who introduces himself as the tech-wiz in the group. mikey’s the one who talks him up, and don even tells him to ‘cut it out’ (even if he says this playfully or humbly, this is not technically mikey's information to share).

the way mikey reacts to don's pigeon puppet suggests this is the first time any of them have seen the silly thing. as far as we know, he never tells his brothers about the events of the king (s1ep16) or that he got tortured by triceratons (s3ep3)--FOR information, at that!--or about where he went in same as it never was (s3ep21). and the whole time he’s sick in the latter half of season 4, he keeps brushing it off as just a bug bite and then a cold. he’s probably in a lot more discomfort than he ever lets on, but… eh, no one needs to know that. it’s probably nothing. this is both HIS information… and, also, leans into the 5’s negative trait of neglecting their own health in stressed states and minimizing their own comfort. they don’t want to have to rely on anyone for anything.

as with raph and leo, let’s also peek at the other cardinal sins associated with don: with his 4 wing, 7 stress and 8 security, the others in his circle would be envy, gluttony, and lust respectively.

SaiNW and don straight up disappearing

a gentle content warning for mention of death in the last paragraph of this section. i know it’s kind of a ‘dead dove, do not eat’ situation with this being sainw and all, but just so you know it’s coming.

as i mentioned in an earlier section, don’s 5 aids him in being the level-head in the family. sainw!mikey even remarks on this in the episode (that "they really needed that level-head of his"). i mentioned in that same section that mikey does have access to the 5, with it being his security number, but… given the environment of sainw, i think it’s fair to say that all of the turtles would have been in the most unhealthy state of their core number. this would mean mikey’s 5 is closed off, and he’d be leaning more into his 1. they, as a team, had lost their links to any of the positive influence that could have come from the 5’s respond over react nature.

don’s disappearance is left vague, not only to us as the viewers but also to his family. he just disappeared. and when his brothers finally see him again thirty years later, it’s not even their don. they're just as in the dark as we are, meaning there was no big fight or blow up or otherwise ‘obvious explanation’ as to why don would have left without a word.

i discussed leo and raph's types at their highest and lowest points, so let's pause to take a look at don's real quick. at their healthiest, 5s can be described as: participating and visionary, observant and perceptive, focused and innovative. at their unhealthiest, they become: nihilistic and eccentric, horrified and delirious, oblivion seeking and self-annhilating.

the series itself is officially twenty years old, and sainw is one of the most utilized episodes when it comes to the creation of fanworks, so i’m sure just about every reason under the sun has been either touched upon or hinted at or explored to explain why don vanished the way he did. and, sadly, thanks to don’s 5, they could all work in my opinion. it’s painfully simple.

5s, due to their need for independence as well as their reluctance to talk about themselves, are the types of people who will leave the house without a word. if they realize the house coffee supply is running low, they’ll grab their keys and head out to the store. they have a library book that's due soon, so rather than go directly home after work like they usually do they'll detour to drop it off. maybe they just feel like taking a walk; out the door they go. no “hey, i’m heading out, be back in ten!”, no text, no post-it note, nothing. it’s not a reflection on how they feel about you or anyone else, it’s just how they are.

it wouldn’t surprise me at all if don was guilty of this. maybe in the middle of a project he realizes he needs something from the junkyard, flings his duffel over his shoulder and just heads out to go grab it real quick. if no one happens to cross his path between his lab and the garage door, he won’t go out of his way to tell anyone where he's off to or that he's leaving at all. they probably won’t know unless one of them text or call him (rip leo and raph’s stress-o-meters). there’s, of course, a chance his family has caught onto this habit and requested he let SOMEONE know, but… that also means don would have to comply to that. be it intentionally ignoring this request or maybe just being too wrapped up in his work or creative excitement to get what he needs and continue making progress that he just plain forgets to say something, who knows.

sainw!don likely did the same thing, and his exit would have likely been paired with a more unhealthy and stressed state of being. for some reason, a reason we’ll never have, he left their hideout and all dialogue/evidence points to no one happening to cross his path on his way out to learn where he was going.

maybe he just needed air. maybe he was trying to get supplies. maybe he got captured and/or killed while he was out there. maybe there are details surrounding casey and/or splinter’s death that we don’t have that caused him to actually want to break off from the others and go on his own (the 7 in him stopping him from being attentive to the needs of others and withdrawing in full, hostile to helping). maybe he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and a genuine, unrelated accident cost him his life and no one knew where he was or even to go looking for him when he never came back. we don’t know and we never will. it's another layer to the tragedy of the episode.

[ryan bergara voice] what happened to sainw!donatello will always remain… unsolved.

i’m sorry, if i don’t meme at least once in this section i will be depressed for the rest of the day, let’s move on.

brains and brawn? you mean don.

this has been commented on in the fandom a handful of times over the years: don’s probably the strongest, physically, out of the brothers. yeah, stronger than raph. there’s evidence not only in-series, but if you consider the enneagram aspect of don and his 5, it opens another perspective into some of the things we might not get to see on screen.

take don’s independence for example. the fact he doesn’t ever want to have to rely on anyone else. sure, yeah, being in danger out on the field--he’s aware of when he needs help and will ask for it in that aspect, as he has recognized that ninjitsu is not the ‘skill’ he has mastered or has aimed TO master… but he’s not going to ask his brothers for help moving things around in his lab (especially given that his lab is one of HIS spaces). he’s going to do it himself, even if he has to spend two days building a one-use pulley system to make it happen. this is the enneagram type who just flat out leaves the house without telling anyone anything. you think he’s gonna wander out of his lab and ask someone to help him move a giant tire if he can figure out a way to do it himself? hell no. god forbid.

think about all the shit don has to move on a day to day basis to build and fix and modify the stuff he does. the average weight of an eight-cylinder car engine is between 400 to 700 pounds (that’s 181kg to 317kg). and the original battleshell wasn’t just a van, either, it was an armored car they ‘borrowed’ from the purple dragons (s1ep1). we see that he has a car engine removed and suspended while he fixes it in lone raph and cub (s1ep24) and it's fucking huge. it’s so funny to think that raph is over here like “i’m gonna be so strong [works out in his free time]” and meanwhile don’s out beside some abandoned car somewhere with the hood propped open like “hmm… i COULD call one of my brothers and ask them to help me strip this engine out and get it home… but i could also not do that [proceeds to not do that and gets it home himself]”.

i acknowledge that some of these can be dismissed as "cartoon physics", but humor me for a paragraph.

given that everyone else was busy fighting, don had to've dragged stockman's robotic arm--which is bigger than him--from inside the building to the outer edge all on his own in return to new york pt3 (s1ep23) so he can cover raph from the roof. we’ve seen don single-handedly lift a metal beam off his person (s2ep20), we’ve seen him stop an underwater fan with his staff and force it to stay still (s3ep9), we’ve seen him jam his staff into solid fucking cement cement (s2ep14), when everyone was getting sucked into the portal at the end of the battle nexus it was traximus--the eight foot triceraton--THEN don keeping the chain anchored to the ground (s2ep26), he’s thrown triceratons around with his own two hands--lifted one out of a vehicle even (s2ep4), he dragged two of his unconscious brothers toward the pedestal in april’s artifact (s2ep21), he and raph are both bearing the brunt of the weight of a slab of roof after the foot’s training building collapses in city at war (s2ep15), he’s been at the top of the turtle chain at least twice in the series when they’re hanging off of something (s1ep2 & s3ep26) which means he’s holding up roughly 720 pounds with just his own damn hands and arms.

in his pursuit to master mechanics while being fully independent in doing so, not needing to rely on his brothers to help him move things from the junkyard to his lab to the final piece, he’s unknowingly made himself the team muscle, too. my brother in bushido, do you even lift? yes.

anyway the entire point of this section is to say that whenever i see 03 don written as the physically weak one because he’s the nerd and not the most skilled fighter, i’m immediately yeeting myself out of the conversation. he’ll scrap with you in the vacant lot behind the arby’s and win.

yet another section about the first half of season 4

since we talked about raph and leo’s perspectives in this area of the show--and since i plan on dedicating a section for mikey in his post--don deserves a lookover as well.

if you were to ask me who was probably coping the worst with the outcome of exodus, it’d obviously be leo. duh. but if you were to ask me who was coping the worst aside from leo, i would place my money on don. the series doesn’t allow him to process like it did with leo, and if you zoom out a bit and look at season 3… there’s not a lot of time, we can assume, between sainw and exodus. narratively, there are three episodes, but two of them (the real world parts 1 and 2) take place on the same day as sainw. in both sainw and exodus, don is the last man standing at the end of the fight. in sainw he defeats the shredder after his brothers have perished. in exodus, master splinter and his brothers are all downed. leo and raph are even lying beside each other again. the whole thing had to’ve been too close for comfort on a variety of levels. a slap of deja-vu he didn’t ask for and that no one else in the room is going to understand.

we don’t get to see a lot of don directly engaging with leo’s shift in attitude throughout the earlier half of season four and, maybe while not purposeful by the writers, i think at least some of that could be contributed to his 5 dipping into his 7. where raph is challenging leo’s attitude shift and starting to push him away by becoming hostile (as a way of protecting himself), don is just straight up not engaging with leo at all if he can help it. in his head, he doesn’t have the energy or capacity to deal with this right now. his own inner resources are low, he’s still healing from sainw and exodus on his own, and not only does he not want anyone to know about that, he just can’t deal with leo’s needs at the moment.

his shared glee with raph over mikey having to do a rematch with kluh (s4ep6) could even be attributed to his 7’s desperate and scattered need for a distraction--a change of pace--oh, thank god, not only will this keep leo’s attention off ME and he’ll stop dragging me into training, but maybe it’ll humble mikey enough to get him to stop antagonizing raph for a day because the air around here is already too tense.

when we get to the opening of samurai tourist (s4ep13), don points out that raph’s right in recognizing leo’s shift in behavior is getting worse, but he does so in a way that's uncharacteristically removed for him.

“leo’s gotten really intense. ever since our final showdown with the shredder, he just seems so… angry."

like... this is an extremely surface level observation for the same guy who noticed that they very well could have been in nano’s position had master splinter not been a good person (s2ep11), or who pointed out to mikey that he shouldn’t call the undergrounders ‘monsters’ when to most people they are ALSO monsters (s1ep14), or who connected the dots that if it hadn’t been for the shredder they never would have become mutants (s2ep9), or who didn’t hesitate to give zog a breathing aid because he knew oxygen was poisonous to him (s2ep19)--just to name a few instances.

don has consistently throughout the series been empathetic and aware of the experiences and emotions and needs of the people they encounter. now, one of the people he knows better than anyone else on the planet has drastically changed, but all he can say is that he seems angry. don isn’t in a healthy enough place to feel secure in using his inner resources to spend on leo. they’ve all likely been focused inward and on keeping himself afloat, keeping his own struggles invisible and minimized, keeping his head down while tensions rise between raph and leo.

again, i wish so badly that the series had taken the time to explore the ripple effect of leo’s damage as well as any healing that the other brothers needed to do rather than simply saying “they’ve all healed, but you, leo, have not”. because i just don’t believe that. i do like that the brothers seem to be responding in their own ways to leo’s shift, with don and raph being on the unhealthier end of that and mikey being on the healthy side, but… yeah. wish we had a half season to explore all of them. guess that’s what fanfiction’s for.

conclusion

as mentioned in part 1, the two books i referenced and heavily pulled from in the more enneagram-focused sections of this project (the parts where the enneagram itself is explained rather than how it applies to the turtles) were:

the wisdom of the enneagram by don richard riso & russ hudson

the road back to you by ian morgan cron & suzanne stabile

oh my god, i can’t believe i only have one post left in this series to do. after over a year of working on this thing to finally see it come to a close is kind of wild. honestly, it was getting to the point i was wondering if i’d do it at all (which is why i just FORCED myself to post the disclaimer post as a way of holding myself accountable jfdkls).

anyway, i’m very excited. mikey’s the last one to go, and--as i had a reason i chose to cover raph first--i have a reason i chose to cover mikey last. the reason might be evident if you’ve been paying attention, too. but i’ll elaborate on that a bit more once we get into the post itself. u-u/!

thank you so, so much for reading yet again, and i hope you enjoy the warm drinks and snacks i set out for you. see you in the next one!

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt don #tmnt donatello #;tmnt #;hannah's meta #;tmnt enneagram #;donatello #[ LET'S GO LADS. ONE MORE TO WRITE. ]

[cosmicmote]

Gaslighting and the Roots of Censorship

and this is all putting it all too mildly, innocuous

for we live in another world

of an other people's purported supremacy

of an other people's purported victimhood

there is clarity and

making confusion is war

and might makes right is for the defects of the species.

what else is there to say

there is a long history of it

to be put to past ..

but wait the puppeteer prepares to speak

through Commander Brandon

if he can make it up the plagiarised stairs

to where, oh where

to stand, and swallow

in a pile of currency, not just coins

but a lot of paper, it's smoothed

so it doesn't cut

but it's ok to bleed

a little while

we shall be free

we shall all be free

but you see freedom gets oddly defined,

neigh, maldefined

there are too many mal-'s

and yesterday I finished Jacqueline Harpman's

I Who Have Never Known Men

a short read without being brief

and it was a good reminder of this;

we live and love with so much unnecessary

and irrelevant manipulations thrown in we

still love and live in lough of it all

though it is piggybacking, a lot of it is para

an ever present energy, for getting

from who knows where, someone

must run it all, forsaken

leaving so many questions,

they aren't really questions

just uncertainties

in a certain world

and death

in attempts to void

there are things to take with us

and we do

perhaps a painting later today

too, will come

graphic and words ©spacetree 2023

addendum: I am glad to see CUNY in the fray today, it's not just Harvard. someone in power shows up brandishing a weapon and we all know where it comes from

This is not the only time that the Chancellor and other CUNY administrators have scapegoated Palestine solidarity activism. Last week, Brooklyn College president Michelle Anderson capitulated to Councilwoman Inna Vernikov’s demand to ban a Students for Justice in Palestine rally from campus. She informed the community that she had “increase[d] campus security,” and encouraged students “not to come to campus.” When the rally went ahead off campus, Vernikov attended it with a gun clearly visible. These actions make a mockery of the free speech and academic freedom commitments these university leaders claim to uphold.

further on ethnic supremacy:

https://www.btselem.org/publications/fulltext/202101_this_is_apartheid

#spilled thoughts #spilled ink #my writing #poetry #spilled poetry #poem #poems on tumblr #every river #every sea #free