#@ mat: my jokes are funny!!! let me make u laugh like that pls.

[hotanddistraught]

hm. i would like to make mat barzal laugh actually i think :/

#what a treat that would be :( #to say smth funny and then see his entire face scrunch up and hear him just. cackle. #im down so bad someone slap me across the face!!!! #like. in that racing video he laughed so much!!! he just. doubles over and laughs with his entire face and body!!! #@ mat: my jokes are funny!!! let me make u laugh like that pls. #mat barzal

[elliotsblunt]

tbh I jst want something rlly angsty, if you could do that pls and thank u

lowkey inspired by miss taylor swift

lol

EMBARASSED

“And then I was like—“

You smiled over at Rue, who was telling a random story about her mom finding a condom in her backpack. It was actually kinda funny, since she ended up having a girlfriend instead. You were extremely nervous, meeting Elliot’s friends for the first time—since you two went to different schools. You had been talking for a few weeks, then he asked you out about two weeks ago. As someone who was diagnosed with anxiety, you constantly needed to be reassured that Elliot really wanted to be with you, due to the fact that he was far too good to be true.

He was kind, you had to admit—but that wasn’t even the half of it. His smile would bright up your day instantly, those soft curls matted on top of his head the best headache reliever to get you through the day. The way his eyes crinkled when his grin would stretch across his face, or the glints of worry that would sparkle in his dark hues whenever you took a hit from his joint, making sure you weren’t dehydrated or dizzy. Elliot had been perfect,

So far.

Laughing at a joke Jules made, you placed your hand on top of Elliots’, fingers running over his knuckles. He retracted his hand from underneath yours, to your surprise, and rubbed the back of his neck. Biting down on your lip, you quickly moved your hand back to your lap, pulling on a fake smile that masked your true feelings. He let go of your hand.

Furrowing your brows, you swallowed thickly, thoughts running to the back of your head.

“Did he actually like you?”

“Was he embarrassed of you?”

“Did his friends even know you were his girlfriend?”

Your chest began to heavily rise then fall, teeth clenching down on the inside of your cheek as you did your best to act cool. Hot flashes of embarrassment kept hitting you, not daring to glance over at your boyfriend, who acted calm and unbothered. He hadn’t known that you were bothered, or he was pretending he didn’t. Soon enough, the four of you bid your goodbyes—and Elliot and you went back to his house to smoke.

Lighting the joint between his lips, you watched with a slightly confused look, as he leaned his back against his window while letting the smoke emit from his lips. Bringing your thumb nail to your mouth, you chewed on it absentmindedly, his eyes flickering over to you, “Why’re you biting your nails, pretty girl?”

You shrugged, smiling tightly—dropping your hand back onto your lap. “Sorry.”

His eyes narrowed, “You okay? You’re quiet—well, more than usual,” he chuckled, offering you the joint, “What’s up?”

You shook your head, “I’m good,” and then you gulped, blinking quickly, “It’s just—back at the diner, you uh,” you laughed nervously, running a hand through your hair, “It’s stupid, but uh, you let go of my hand. I thought I did something wrong.”

His smile slipped, jaw tightening.

“It’s fine, though,” you dismissed.

“I didn’t, though,” his brows furrowed, “I just—I didn’t wanna do that in front of my friends, to be honest.”

Your heart dropped, shoulders slumping.

“Why?”

He shrugged, his body growing stiff as he plucked the joint back into his mouth, looking out the window, “I’m not a relationship type of guy,” he muttered, your eyes beginning to water at his words. It pissed you off. But he didn’t notice, taking another hit, a puff of smoke surrounding you both, “I don’t really do those things.”

“You’re not a relationship kinda guy, but you’re in a relationship?” You croaked, voice slightly wavering. At the sound of your tone, his eyes snapped to yours, his expression softening. He quickly sat up, shaking his head with that same worried glint in his eyes, but you made some space between you, standing up from the bed, “What? Why don’t you wanna show me of—“

His eyes rounded, “I didn’t mean it like that, baby. I would never mean it like that,” he gulped, standing up as well. You stared at him with an empty look while his hands flew to your face, holding it in his palms. His dark eyes bored down into yours, “I just meant I’m not—used to doing that. I’ve never been in a relationship before, you know that. It’s all new to me is all,” he explained more clearly, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear, “Affection was never given to me grown up, so I’m not sure how to handle it when it’s given to me.”

You nodded, smiling as he pecked your lips, “I’m sorry.”

He pulled your head into his chest, arms wrapping around your smaller figure. His scent of marijuana and strong cologne filled up your senses, but you didn’t mind, eyes fluttering shut at the comforting sensation of his warmth.

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