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#:: some people are really excited and seeing the negativity brings some down !! :(
headkiss · 1 year
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not just on christmas
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pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
summary: steve’s parents are coming home for the holidays and he’s in need of a fake date. who better than you, his best friend?
word count: 8.2k
warnings: steve’s parents (derogatory), negative comments about his job, fake dating, friends to lovers, christmas themes, fluff, first kiss!
a/n: i had lots of fun with this one and i hope u guys like it!!! merry christmas and happy holidays i hope they treat u all well <33 consider this my gift to you :D
The phone ringing forces Steve out of bed. Floors cool on his feet, the air a chill on his bare chest, he rubs his eyes lazily and picks it up.
“Hello?” He clears his throat to get rid of the sleep in his voice.
“Steve, why do you sound tired, it’s nearly noon!”
It’s no surprise that the first words aren’t asking him how he is. He’s shocked she cared enough to pick up on the tone of his voice at all. “Hi, mom.”
He doesn’t even know where she’s calling from, doesn’t know what business trip they're on. He can’t remember the last time he got a phone call that wasn’t you, or Robin, or Dustin, or anyone else other than his parents.
Steve’s not even excited to be hearing from them, because it’s a reminder that they’re not around, that they haven’t forgotten about him, they just don’t care.
He wishes you were the one that called.
“Listen, sweetie, your dad and I are coming home for Christmas this year, isn’t that great?”
He deflates, “yeah. Super.”
“There’s a business event he wants to take you to. And we’ll find you a date,” there’s the catch. There’s always a catch. “You can make some connections, maybe get out of your job at that video store soon.”
The thing is, he actually likes working at Family Video, but he knows that doesn’t matter. Then there’s the topic of the girlfriend, or lack thereof. His parents are always nagging him about when he’ll settle down, grow roots, or something.
Maybe that’s why he says, “I can get my own date. I have a girlfriend.”
“Oh! That’s fantastic! She’ll have dinner with us, won’t she? What’s her name?”
Like an idiot, he says your name. The first one that came to his mind.
You’re his best friend, and it’s easy to let his thoughts drift to you. The problem is, he has no idea how he’s going to explain this to you, how he can ask you to fake date him just to satisfy his parents for once.
If he wasn’t still on the phone, Steve would be groaning into a pillow right now.
“Okay, sweetie, your dad has a brunch we have to get to. We’ll see you soon!”
“Bye, mom. See you.”
He hangs up and sighs in relief. That feeling is quick to fade when he remembers that he had just named you his girlfriend in the midst of his phone call. He drops his face into his hands, runs them through his hair, and tries to figure out how the hell to bring up the subject with you.
To go along with that, he has to worry about his parents coming home. Though, can they really call it ‘home’ when they’ve been gone for so long? When they’ll leave again after a few days, a week at most?
Most people would be happy, excited, about their parents being around for the holidays. Steve’s not. He’d rather spend it how he has since the two of you became friends. Breakfast at your house with your family—who have become family for Steve, too—presents opened with scented candles burning and Christmas albums spun on the record player.
You went out of your way to include him, and he’s never felt so welcome in his life as he does when he’s with you.
At least, if you agree, you’ll be with him this year, too.
-
It’s the next day when Steve decides to bring it up. You’re at his house for movie night, which has become a weekly ritual for the two of you. He’s been trying to figure out what exactly to say since he hung up the damn phone. He’s given up and instead hopes it’ll come to him in the moment.
Today, Steve’s quiet, which is unlike him. You know something’s on his mind and you try to avoid asking him about it, trying to let him talk about it on his own time. It’s about halfway through the movie that you change your mind.
He didn’t complain when you showed up with your cheesy Christmas movie choice, he didn’t light-heartedly tease you about your outfit of choice (some festive patterned pajama pants and a sweater that’s so worn there are holes in the neckline), and the most unusual, he didn’t make a single joke or comment as the movie played.
He’s really, really quiet.
You pick up the remote and pause it, “what’s going on with you, Steve?”
He looks at you, catches your eye and sees nothing but genuine concern. Sometimes he hates the way you know him so well. He can never hide anything from you.
“What? Nothing.”
You blink at him, “come on.”
“Fine, okay. Just, don’t say anything until I’m done, please.”
“Okay,” you pretend to zip your mouth shut, ready to listen.
“My mom called yesterday and told me they’re coming home for Christmas, and that there’s this business thing they want me to go to, and that I need a date for it,” he scrubs a hand down his face, trying to hide his embarrassment. “And you know how they’re always on my ass about me being single and stuff so I kind of told her I already had a girlfriend, and maybe I told her that girlfriend is you.”
What?
There’s a lot to process there. Mostly the fact that out of all of the names he could have chosen, he said yours. You wait for him to explain some more, but he’s looking at you like he’s waiting for a reply, so, your mouth is now unzipped.
“So, what exactly does that mean?”
He mutters a curse under his breath. “Um, so, I need you to pretend to be my actual girlfriend while they’re here.”
His use of the word ‘need’ is telling. Steve’s not one to ask for help, not even when he needs it the most but here he is, nervous and a little pink-cheeked, asking for your help.
You let the thought sit in your head for a bit. It’s not hard for you to want to agree. Steve’s your best friend, and you’d do pretty much anything for him. Though, that might also have to do with the fact that you’ve been in love with him for years.
You know more about his relationship with his parents then most do, so if you can make their visit more bearable for him in any way, why wouldn’t you?
“Okay,” you say.
“Okay? Like, you’ll do it?”
“Yeah, sure. I’m happy to help.”
That was a lot easier than Steve thought it’d be. You barely even questioned him before agreeing, and that’s not lost on him.
“Thank you so much, seriously,” he throws his arm over your shoulders, squeezes you to him in a side hug. “It’s only a few days, then we can go back to normal.”
“Easy peasy,” you say, reaching for the remote and hitting play.
Aside from your wanting to help him, to be there for him like you know he would for you, you’re also curious to see what it’s like to be with Steve that way, even if it’s fake. It’s hopeless, the way you love him, like the moon orbiting the earth around and around. Constant.
Sure, those feelings will probably only swell because of the fake relationship, but you’ve been housing them for long enough anyway.
What could go wrong?
-
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Robin says from the other side of a clothing rack, sifting through the pieces.
She’s the first, and only, person you told about the fake dating thing. Naturally, she decided she’d help you shop for a dress to wear to this business thing and talk about it at the same time.
The mall is decorated, garlands and lights strung, a big Christmas tree lit up in the middle of it all.
“It’s only a couple of days. It’ll be fine.”
“I’m talking about you being in love with him,” she deadpans.
“Robin, not so loud.”
“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
You know she’s being honest, and though the thought has been at the back of your mind, a whisper, you’d like to believe that you can handle a fake relationship without ruining things because of your big, big feelings.
“I spend time with him alone a bunch. It’s not that much different, okay?”
“Besides the fact that you’ll be calling him boyfriend and acting like it, too, you mean.”
Actually, you’ve been trying not to think about what exactly pretending to be his girlfriend entails. You don’t know if he’ll hold your hand, if he’ll hold you closer than he has before, if he’ll kiss you. You think it might be better to wait and see, to not let the possibilities eat at you.
“I know it sounds bad, but it’s Steve. Nothing major will happen. We’re friends and I’m helping him out.”
Robin’s in a tricky spot. She knows how you feel about Steve, obviously, and though he doesn’t see it yet himself, she knows that Steve feels the same, too. It’s taken a lot to hold herself back from speeding things along, and as much as she wishes this fake relationship plan might be a good push, things usually aren’t so easy.
She can also tell that there’s a lot you’re thinking but not saying, but instead of pushing it, she returns to looking at the dresses. It’s not long before she gasps, pulling one of the rack to show you.
“This one,” she says.
“I don’t know. That won’t look good on me.”
It’s pretty, though. You’ll give her that.
“Shut up, everything looks good on you. Will you at least try it on?” She wiggles the hanger in her hand, “for me?”
“Fine.”
You take it from her, walking back towards the fitting rooms with a grinning Robin in tow. She waits outside the door while you change into the dress.
Once it’s on, looking in the mirror, you don’t even know what to think. You’re not one to feel all that confident in what you wear, or in how you look, but this dress makes you feel pretty. Maybe you should make Robin pick out all of your clothes.
“Let me see!” Robin calls.
You step out of the changeroom, doing a shy little spin when she asks. She’s smiling proudly, like she knows she chose well (which she did). She can’t help but think of how Steve will react, because she knows he feels something for you, she can see it on his face everytime he talks about you. He’s just a dork and he doesn’t realize it. Not yet, at least.
“What do you think?” You ask.
“If Steve’s not already in love with you…”
“Don’t finish that sentence.”
If she does, your brain will conjure up way too many ideas of what could possibly happen. If Steve could really feel the same. If maybe he’ll feel those same butterflies in his stomach that you do, if his heart feels bigger when you’re around. In your dreams, he does.
“I’m trying to tell you you look hot!”
-
December twenty-third is the day that Steve’s parents come home as well as the night of the business event. You and Steve have tried to figure out how to act like a couple, quizzing each other on things you already know, setting loose boundaries, but you figure after knowing each other for so long, being so close, it won’t feel much different than now. Besides the extra touching, the possibility of kissing.
You’re already at his house when his parents get home, your makeup and outfit for tonight sitting in Steve’s room. The two of you linger near the front door waiting for their arrival, a nervous and jittery welcoming committee.
The sound of a car pulling into the driveway grabs your attention. It’s a clapperboard snapping shut, marking the scene. Action.
“You ready, babe?” He holds out his arm for you to grab, and you do.
“Time to be the best couple ever,” you reply.
Steve grins at you. He has no idea how to thank you for agreeing to do this, how to even explain to you the relief you’re sure to bring. It’s one less thing for his parents to pick and pry at.
The door opens, and you can already feel a change in Steve’s demeanor. He’s standing straighter, stiffer. You squeeze his arm, a reminder that you’re there.
“Steve, sweetie!” His mother barely greets him before moving onto you, “and this is your girlfriend?”
“Hi, Mrs. Harrington.”
If it were someone else’s mother, you’d be hit with the usual ‘oh please, call me (insert name here).’ However, where the Harringtons are concerned, formality is a must. Besides Steve, of course. From what you know, the apple had fallen very, very far from the tree and you mean that as a compliment.
Even after being friends for so many years, this is the first time you’re actually meeting Steve’s parents. It’s clear that he’s never jumped at the opportunity to have his friends around when they’re home. He’s told you about them, and that’s enough for you.
“Steve! Come help me with the bags, would you?” His dad calls from outside, though he says it as a demand rather than a question.
“Yep, coming,” he replies. He kisses the side of your head before going outside, quick and sure, like he’s done it hundreds of times.
“How was your trip, Mrs. Harrington?” You fill the silence.
“Oh, just lovely, thank you,” she moves to the kitchen, expecting you to follow. “The house looks clean. Do you have something to do with that?”
Despite her trying to sound like she’s joking, you know that she truly doesn’t believe that Steve could be the one keeping the place going. As if he hasn’t been doing just that for ages.
“No, no. It’s really Steve.”
Her eyebrows raise, surprised.
Steve and his father walk in before anything else is said—thank God. You shake hands with Mr. Harrington, saying hello and wearing a tight smile. Steve’s quick to come to your side, an arm over your shoulders like a shield. Your hand moves to hold the one resting on your shoulder.
He’s even more tense when his father’s in the room, you’ve noticed. You hold his hand a bit tighter. You wish you could do something to make him feel better, and you hope that this fake relationship will do that at least a little bit.
Meanwhile Steve’s wondering how your presence could make him feel much better than he usually does with his parents around. You’re a comfort beside him, and when he gets the chance, he kisses your head again, whispering a ‘thank you’ into your hair.
-
The first few hours with Steve’s parents go by dreadfully slow, even with his touch on you most of the time. You’re quickly learning that as a boyfriend—even fake—Steve’s love language is easily physical touch. He has an arm around you, a hand in yours, on your leg, anything.
You’re also learning just how strained his relationship with his parents is. He’d trusted you enough to tell you most of it, but seeing them interact in front of you was different. The backhanded comments, the faces whenever he mentions his job, it makes your heart ache for him.
It’s bad enough that his parents are hardly ever around, but having them act like this when they are? You’re amazed at how good Steve has remained through it all.
When it’s time to get ready for the business party, you’re thankful for the reprieve.
“Think we’re doing a good job?” You ask Steve as he shuts the door to his room.
“They seem to be buying it. Thanks again for doing this.”
“You’ve thanked me like a hundred times, Steve. It’s okay, really.”
You want to tell him that you’re sorry these are the people he has to call family. That he shouldn’t listen to any of the shit they give him about his job or his lack of post-secondary education. That he’s the best boy you’ve ever known.
The problem is, you don’t know how to say all of that without making your feelings for him painfully obvious.
“Just gotta keep it up ‘til Christmas. That’s when they leave.”
“They’re only here for two days?” You knew the trip was going to be short, but forty-eight hours?
“Yeah, something about getting a deal on a cruise. I don’t know.”
He says it so casually, like it’s normal. You guess that for him, it is, but it doesn’t make it any less upsetting.
“Does that mean you’ll come to mine for Christmas day? Like usual?” You ask, hopefully lightening the mood.
“If you’ll have me.”
“Shut up, you’re always welcome. Think my mom likes you more than me anyway,” you nudge his shoulder with yours, then move to bring your stuff into his bathroom to start getting ready.
He leans on the doorframe, watching you set your makeup out on the counter, “she does not.”
“Steve, you have your own stocking hanging on our fireplace. And it’s bigger than mine.”
He smiles genuinely then, the first one since his parents have arrived.
He leaves you to get ready, shutting the bathroom door for when you change. You can still hear him through the door. The opening and closing of his drawers, a curse when he stubs his toe.
So far, pretending to be with Steve has been easy. You’ve acted the same save for the touches or small pecks he’s decided to keep placing on your head or your cheeks. The story you settled on was simple: you met him picking up a movie at Family Video, he asked if you needed company to watch it, the rest is history, blah blah blah.
Steve knocks on the bathroom door when you’re pretty much ready, you glance at yourself one more time in the mirror before opening it.
He stands with his tie in hand, wearing a button up and dress pants. You assume there’s a suit jacket to go along with it, and you think it might kill you. He’s so pretty, and he looks it all of the time but seeing him dressed up is really something.
“You look good, Steve,” you say. Good doesn’t even begin to cover it.
“Thanks. You look- you too.”
Steve’s stunned. He realizes he’s never seen you in anything formal and it’s making him feel all fluttery in his stomach and he doesn’t know what to think of it. He’s always known you’re gorgeous, in an obvious way like how the sky is blue. Now, though, it’s like he can feel it.
He clears his throat quietly and remembers the reason he knocked in the first place, “you don’t happen to know how to tie a tie, do you?”
You’re thankful for the time you decided to learn how when you were bored one day. You take the fabric from his hands, “it’s your lucky day, Steve.”
“Thank you. Didn’t wanna have to go ask my dad.”
He’s almost shy about wanting your help over something so small, his cheeks a little pink, his head bent. You give him a reassuring smile—or what you hope is one—and place the tie around his neck.
His eyes are on you as your hands fiddle with the fabric, doing it up for him. Your eyebrows are slightly scrunched, and he wants to reach out and smooth it out with his thumb. He’s not used to having that urge.
You finish up successfully after having fumbled a little bit, adjusting the tie so it isn’t crooked.
“There you go,” you pat his chest and he hopes you can’t feel his heartbeat, the way it’s quicker than normal.
He has no idea what that’s about.
“Thanks.”
“‘Course.”
He’s still standing close to you, enough that he has to keep his head tilted downwards just a little to be able to look at your face. Your eyes lock onto his, and time seems to slow. You’re so gone for him and you know it, but it almost seems like maybe he’s feeling something too. Just for a moment.
His father calling out that it’s time to go snaps you out of it.
Steve grabs his jacket, shrugging it on then offering you his hand to hold, “let’s do this, girlfriend.”
-
The hall is oozing Christmas when you walk in, Steve’s hand in yours. Ornaments hang down from the ceiling, warm white string lights line the top of the walls, Christmas music hums through the speakers, and an extravagant Christmas tree sits in the middle of the room.
You’ve never been to an event like it, and you have a hard time keeping your nerves at bay.
Pretending in front of Steve’s parents alone was one thing. Now, the stakes are higher. You have to be convincing and though it’s not difficult for you to pretend to be in love with Steve (you don’t have to fake that at all), you worry that you’ll slip up somehow and give yourself away. Both in the sense that the relationship is fake, and that your feelings are anything but.
It’s not long before Steve’s father gets pulled into a conversation, and his mother goes along with him. You’re left standing near the doorway with Steve, biting at the inside of your cheek.
“Relax,” he leans his head close to yours and whispers.
“Sorry. I’m just nervous.”
“We’re fine. You’re fine,” he squeezes your hand, something that’s quickly become a wordless reassurance between you. “We’ve done good so far, right?”
“I guess so.”
“Okay, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
Except for the fact that I love you and that you being a really good fake boyfriend isn’t helping.
“Okay.”
He smiles and leads you further into the room. The smile he gives you is different from the one he gives the people that say hi to him, the people that stop him for a chat. For you, it’s honest. For them, it doesn’t reach his eyes, it doesn’t mean anything.
“About time you tied someone down, Steve,” a man says to him. A coworker of his father’s, just like most men in the room.
“Think she’s the one who got me, but yeah.”
“That’s sweet. Next step is to get you a stable job, huh?”
It seems like all anyone here is concerned about is what people do, who they know. It’s no fun for you and they aren’t even speaking to you directly most of the time.
“Sure. Good to see you,” Steve excuses the both of you from the conversation.
“These people suck,” you say to him, leading him to the bar set up in a corner.
“Tell me about it.”
You order water for the both of you, something to get rid of the dryness in your throat and occupy you for a bit. You drink quietly before Steve speaks up.
“You look beautiful, by the way.”
He doesn’t know why it slips out now, but it does. The thought has been on his mind since he saw you standing there in his bathroom, and it’s getting harder and harder to ignore.
“You don’t have to say that, Steve. Nobody’s listening.”
“I mean it, seriously.”
“Oh,” you look down at your glass, at the condensation running down the side. The corners of your mouth lift, “thank you.”
“I know this isn’t the most fun, but I’m glad you’re here with me,” he admits. He’s always been sweet to you, but this feels different. You don’t know how or why, but it does.
“I am too.”
Steve’s dad interrupts your moment, pulling Steve off to meet some people. Already, there’s a guard being put up by him, a shield he saves for his father.
For those few minutes, where it was just you and Steve, you realized that he’s probably the best date you’ve ever had. He pays attention to you, he’s comforting without even trying, and he compliments you with so much honesty you could melt.
He’s the best date you’ve ever had and it’s fake. It’s becoming a mantra repeated in your head; it’s not real, it’s not real.
Lost in thought, you don’t notice the boy who’s sat next to you now.
“I’ve never seen you before,” he says.
“I’m not usually at these things. I came with my boyfriend,” you tell him, unsettled by his stare.
“And where is this boyfriend now?”
“He’s out there. I just needed some water but he’ll come back soon.”
You’re trying to get him to go away, to take the hint. He won’t.
“Why don’t I keep you company in the meantime?”
You’re about to reply when someone else does it for you, “not necessary. She’s my girl.”
My girl. Steve. He stands behind you, wraps his arms around your waist. It’s like he knew you needed him then, showing up as soon as you felt like you wanted to search for him. He runs his hands over your sides, a possessive touch that has your skin tingling.
“My bad, man. Thought she was lying about the boyfriend,” the guy says.
“She wasn’t. Even if she was, maybe you should learn to tell when someone isn’t interested, yeah?”
The stranger nods and walks off.
You spin in Steve’s hold, facing him. “My hero.”
“You know me,” he shrugs.
What he doesn’t say is that seeing another guy talk to you made his gut churn, bringing something that he didn’t want to admit was jealousy. He also saw the look on your face, the discomfort, and felt his feet carry him over before his mind could think it first.
His hands are still on your waist, even with the stranger gone.
-
It’s not until Steve’s parents are ready that you leave. They’ve taken advantage of the champagne that sat on trays, free for the taking, as well as the opportunity to talk up their son to many, many people. It seems they’re only proud of him when there’s other people around, and even then, the praise doesn’t hold much weight.
He’s trying his best. At least he’s working. He’s got a girlfriend now. No, he doesn’t host backyard parties while we’re gone anymore.
You wish you could speak up, but you know, with this many people around, it’d cause more harm than good. It’s hard to listen to the people that raised Steve talk about him the way they do. You want so badly to shout in their faces how brilliant he is, no thanks to them. How he has the kindest soul and a sort of midas touch that makes everything shine.
At least, you think he does. You promise yourself to love him better than they ever did, even if it’s in secret.
One memory from the night overpowers the rest, luckily. ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ played, a slower rendition, and a slow dance ensued. You watched couples split off, and when you looked at Steve, he was already looking at you, a question on his face and a hand outstretched.
You fell into step with him quickly. It wasn’t awkward for a second. One of your hands in his, the other on his shoulder, his on your waist. You swayed together, unknowingly moving closer until you were close enough to rest your head on his chest. And you did.
He rested his head atop of yours and hummed the song softly. You’ll dream about that dance, probably.
Now, you sit in the car with Steve, who’s become the driver. He drops his parents off at his house first, leaving the two of you alone for the drive to yours. He sneaks glances at you at stop signs and red lights, turning back to the road when he thinks he’s been caught.
His mind is full because he’s looking at you in a way he hasn’t before. He sees parts of you that he was blind to before. The shape of your lips, for example. The dip of your spine and the way it feels to hold you. It’s dizzying and warm, confusing and sparkling all at once.
Once he’s pulled up to your house, he offers to walk you to the door. Ever the gentleman. A romantic no matter how much he denies it, you think. He gets misty-eyed when you watch rom-coms, opens doors for you, has bought flowers for nearly all of his dates, as far as you know.
What must it be like to receive flowers from Steve Harrington?
He faces you on your front porch, hands in his pockets, “thank you again for doing this.”
“How many times do I have to tell you it’s okay. I’m happy to help you, Steve. You’re my best friend.” Who I love more than anyone.
“You’re mine, too, honey.”
It’s not the first time he’s called you that. Turns out, it was his default to use in your fake relationship. It is, however, the first time he’s said it when it’s just the two of you. It sounds sweet coming from his lips, sticky. Just like honey itself.
“What time should I be over for dinner tomorrow?” You ask. It’s the last hurdle of the fake dating.
“How ‘bout I come pick you up after I finish work?”
“Yeah, okay, that’d be great, thanks.”
You wrap your arms around yourself, the cold of December biting your skin.
“Here,” Steve notices, of course he does, and he reaches out with his hands, rubbing them up and down your arms to warm you.
“How’re your hands still warm?” You ask.
“I'm magic.”
You smile at that. He has no idea.
He reaches up with one hand to cup your cool cheek, and you nudge your face into his touch. For the warmth, you tell yourself. That’s it. His thumb runs over your skin, once, twice.
“Did I ever tell you that you have a pretty smile?” He says it so quietly you almost miss it. You don’t, though, and there’s a swarm of butterflies in your gut because of it.
“Shut up,” you try to mask your bashfulness.
Then, just like that, his face is close to yours. So close that it looks like he might kiss you. His eyes flick from your mouth up to yours, like he’s unsure of what’s happening while he’s doing it.
You can feel his breath tickling your lips, the ghost of his mouth on yours. Before that can happen, he’s swerving away quickly, planting a kiss on your cheek instead. The one he isn’t holding. His mouth lingers for a second.
“Goodnight,” he whispers against your skin.
“Night,” you say, dazed. And he’s walking away.
Steve’s not at all sure what’s come over him. He wanted to kiss you just then, to tangle his fingers in your hair and kiss you stupid. What the fuck was happening to him?
When you let your eyes flutter shut, your mouth parted slightly, like you’d let him kiss you, like you wanted it, too, he panicked. Couldn't do it.
No, he doesn’t know what just happened, why it did, or why he’s resisting the urge to go back and knock on your door and actually kiss you when you open it. What he does know is that his heart seems to be doing something funny when you’re around, and that your fake relationship has been better than any of his real ones.
He knows he needs to talk to Robin about this.
-
Steve had to work the next morning—Christmas Eve—which he was actually thankful for. Thankful to get away from his parents, though the comments about his job followed him out the door this morning. Especially thankful because he needs to talk to Robin and sort out the mess of his feelings that has occurred in the last twenty four hours.
He couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to kiss you. About how his stomach was all twisty when you slow danced with him. There are so many moments playing over in his memory. Not just from yesterday, either.
He remembers the way his stomach would sink when you’d tell him about a date you had or how he’d often reach out a hand to tuck your hair behind your ear, or to wipe something away from the corner of your mouth.
So many things over your friendship that he never thought about are coming back to him and he’s realized he doesn’t act that way with any of his other friends. Only you.
He also realizes that he hasn’t really been pretending with you at all.
“I think I love her,” Steve blurts out while he and Robin are organizing returns, the store luckily empty.
Robin reaches into her pocket, barely fazed, and tosses a handful of confetti at Steve. Some pieces stick to his hair, some to his clothes, most of it at his feet.
“What the hell?” He shakes the flecks out of his hair, “we have to clean that now.”
“I’ve been carrying around confetti for like a year waiting for this to happen!”
“Wait, what?”
“Steve, you’ve been loving her for a long time, hate to break it to you.”
“And you didn’t tell me?” He’s no longer preoccupied with the confetti.
“I was letting you do it on your own time. You’re welcome.”
Steve had only just deduced that he’s in love with you and yet, when he thinks about you, he feels the same way he has for years. He finds it hard to believe that he’s been blind to it for that long, but he has been called an idiot enough in his lifetime for it to make sense.
Then, there’s the fact that you’re not done fake dating yet, that there’s still dinner today to get through and he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to keep himself together.
“What am I gonna do, Robin?”
“You’re gonna tell her how you feel and I will finally know peace.”
“What if she doesn’t feel the same? What if I freak her out?”
“Steve, she looks at you like sun shines from your pores,” she places a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be fine.”
-
He picks you up after work as promised, his hands holding the wheel a little tighter, his greeting a little louder than normal. You figure he’s just nervous about dinner.
Nobody brings up the almost kiss, and you don’t plan to. Maybe you read things wrong. Maybe he was aiming for your cheek all along. Maybe he’s been thinking about it as much as you have.
It seems that your feelings for Steve are present now more than ever. Impossible to ignore. It might have something to do with the Christmas spirit floating around, the lightness of the holidays. It definitely has something to do with you being Steve’s fake girlfriend.
Because it turns out, he’s an excellent boyfriend, real or not.
He opens doors for you, even if he has to jog ahead of you to do it. He’s always got at least one hand on you, warm and sure. He looks at you with so much care, his brown eyes stuck on you.
It’s all adding up and you feel like your love for him is overflowing, pouring out of you before you can reel it in. You just hope he doesn’t notice that you’re not acting, that you never were.
Walking into Steve’s kitchen, you pause in the doorway, him behind you, “this smells great, Mrs. Harrington.”
Though Steve knows she probably bought most of the stuff and then put it in pots and pans to make it look like she cooked, he agrees, “so great, mom.”
She turns to look at you both from her spot by the stove, “thank you. Oh!” She cuts herself off with a gasp, her gaze drifting above your heads.
Oh no.
“Mistletoe,” she says, pointing.
“Look at that,” you laugh, short and awkward.
“Steve, sweetie, kiss your girlfriend for tradition's sake, won’t you.”
He kisses you on the cheek.
“A real one, son,” his father pipes up from his seat at the table.
Steve finds your gaze, his eyes wide and questioning. Are you okay with this? He’s asking without saying it. You nod, barely there, but you nod and he sees it.
He cups your cheek in his hand, flashes of last night on your porch come to you. He leans in slowly, like he’s waiting for you to stop him. Instead of doing that, you hold his wrist in your hand, squeeze it. Your silent communication.
In a blink, his lips are on yours. Pillowy and almost shy, but he’s kissing you and you feel like you’re floating, your feet off the ground and everything. He pulls away before you can even register the fact that it happened.
Your heartbeat is loud in your ears, your lips still burning with the memory of his.
Steve can't believe he hasn’t kissed you before. You’re soft and you fit together so well, like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle clicking into place. He’s kicking himself for not doing it last night, when you were alone, when it was real. Next time he kisses you, he thinks, it will be real.
He clears his throat, tearing his eyes away from you, “so, let’s eat.”
Just like that, he’s moving to the table, pulling out a chair for you and kissing the top of your head once you’ve sat down. Already, the extra affection he’s been giving you has been dizzying. Now, it’s dialed way up.
He helps his mom serve the food before he sits down, though all he gets as a thank you is a pat on the cheek. Next to you, you can see Steve’s leg bouncing up and down. You reach out and place a hand above his knee, stilling him and drawing his gaze to yours.
You smile, and you hope it’s enough to say it’s okay, it’s all gonna be fine. He rests his hand on top of yours, fingers laced together.
“So, Steve, have you been looking for jobs?” His father speaks up. The never-ending topic.
“No, dad. I have a job,” Steve doesn’t look up from his plate, pushing mashed potatoes around with his fork.
“Well, a real job, I mean.”
At Steve’s silence, his mom adds, “we just think, especially now that you have a girlfriend to support, you should look for something… better.”
You look up when she says it, eyes wide and hand tensing on Steve’s leg. You don’t understand how they care so much about what he does and so little about how he feels. He likes his job, you know that, and he’s tried to tell them multiple times over the past couple of days.
And still.
It’s impossible for you to sit by and listen to them talk to him the way they do, like he isn’t good enough. Like the only defining thing is his job, which isn’t even a bad one. What defines him is who he is as a person and he’s the best one in your life.
“Why does it matter so much?” You ask.
His parents look at you, surprised to be questioned, it seems. Steve looks at you, too, with something more like astonishment, appreciation.
“I’m sorry,” you continue, “it’s just, you haven’t seen your son in how long? And all you guys keep bringing up is his job, which he’s told you he actually enjoys. Shouldn’t that be enough for you?”
Steve’s world is tinting pink, heart-shaped lenses over his eyes hearing you defend him. Nobody’s ever tried to go against his parents for him, and here you are. Fuck, he loves you.
They’re quiet, and you’re not finished. “Steve is the greatest person I’ve ever met, and that’s no thanks to you. I’ve known him for a long time and not once have I seen you guys around. How can you judge him so much when you don’t even take the time to know him anymore?”
The room is dead quiet. Nothing but the clinking of forks against plates for the rest of the meal. You feel lighter, after saying what you did. Though you’re also terrified that you’ve overstepped, that Steve will be upset with you for causing a scene.
As if sensing your worry, he holds your hand just a bit tighter.
It’s not until after dinner, hidden away in his room, that you talk about what happened. Not the kiss; your outburst.
He shuts his door and you’re already apologizing, “listen, Steve. I'm so sorry if I made things worse, but I couldn’t just let them shit on your job anymore. I couldn’t. You’re my best friend, you know that, and-”
His arms are around you in a blink.
“Thank you,” he breathes into your hair. “Nobody’s ever done anything like that for me. Thank you, honey.”
“Oh,” you blink away your surprise and wrap your arms around his shoulders. “Anytime.”
“You’re really special.”
Your smile spreads, spilling before you can do anything about it. You hide your face in his neck and stay that way until he lets go, a flush in his cheeks and stars in his eyes.
Steve wanted to tell you he loves you right then, but the words seem stuck in his throat. They won’t come up. He wants to be with you for real, and though it happened in a rush, it also didn’t. His brain just needed to catch up to his heart.
He doesn’t say it, but he will. As soon as he can.
“Wanna go watch a movie?” You ask.
“Yeah, okay.”
Movie night. You and him. That’s real.
-
Steve’s parents seem to have gone out somewhere, the car missing from the driveway. They haven’t left, though. You and Steve checked for the suitcases (they’re sitting, already packed, in their room).
Playing the movie, yet another Christmas pick that Steve couldn’t say no to, you share a blanket. There’s plenty of room on the couch, you’re the only people there, and yet, Steve still tosses an arm over your shoulders and pulls you to lean against his side.
Maybe he’s just doing it in case his parents come home while you’re downstairs. That’s gotta be it.
“Is it bad that I’m sort of relieved they aren’t here right now?” Steve says to you, quiet.
“Not at all. You deserve better than what they give you, Steve.”
“You think so?”
“Are you kidding? I know so.”
He lets his head lean atop of yours, and that’s that.
You want to bring up the kiss, but then again, why would you? It’s not real. It’s not real no matter how much you wish it was, no matter how much it feels that way. You knew going into this that you might end up kissing Steve, you just didn’t know it’d fuck you up so much.
Part of you hopes that mistletoe will appear above your heads yet again, just to be able to feel the way you did when he kissed you. Heart fluttering, stomach twisting, warm all over.
Though Steve’s head feels relaxed, resting on yours, it’s overflowing with thoughts. You, his parents, the way you defended him, how it felt to kiss you, how much he wants to do it again. You. The entire length of the movie, he’s trying to think of a way to tell you he loves you. The best he comes up with is to wing it.
When the screen fades, and the film ends, you remember the gift you’d left in Steve’s room, buried at the bottom of your overnight bag (you decided to sleep over, something you’ve done too many times to count, and head to your place in the morning with Steve). You sit up, only to face him.
“I have something for you. C’mon,” you tug on his hand, leading him all the way to his own bedroom.
“What?”
“Just,” you make him sit down on his bed when you’re in the room, digging through your bag and finding the present you’d wrapped last night. “Here.”
He takes it from your hand slowly, like it’s the most precious thing in the world. He doesn’t open it right away, staring at the red and green patterned wrapping paper and the gold stick-on bow sitting in the middle of it.
“Open it,” you urge, shuffling nervously on your feet.
He shoots you a shy smile before tearing at the paper, revealing a scrapbook of sorts. Flipping through the pages, he finds memories upon memories. Pictures of you and him, of him and Robin, all three of you. Some with the kids or with Eddie. Most of them he doesn’t even remember taking.
And it’s more than just pictures. There’s movie tickets and receipts from random fast food dinners, confetti from a surprise party for Dustin and a piece of a plate Steve broke once.
It’s the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever given him. It reminds him that he does have a family, no blood relation needed.
“Honey,” he says it quietly, his eyes watering ever so slightly. “This is- I don’t even know what to say.”
“I know it’s not much, but I thought you’d like it.”
“No. I love it. It’s perfect, seriously,” he runs his finger over a picture of the two of you, your faces squished together and your smiles absolutely ridiculous. “Best gift ever.”
He means it.
“I had some help with the pictures. Everyone in that book loves you, Steve.”
Everyone in that book. That means you love him, too. He knows that you could mean it platonically, but something about the way you look at him when you say it makes him think that he has to tell you. He has to try.
He’s suddenly very glad he bought you a locket for Christmas, and that he left it unwrapped because of his lack of skills in that department.
“Close your eyes,” he says.
“Steve-”
“Please,” he trades spots with you, sitting you on the edge of his bed, “close your eyes for a minute, ‘kay?”
“Okay,” you shut them tight, placing a hand over them as well, “double closed.”
He rushes to grab the locket from the bottom of one of his drawers, then grabs the tiniest bit of paper and manages to write as small as he can on it, placing the message in the necklace and closing it with a small click.
Steve reaches for the hand that isn’t covering your eyes, opening it up and placing the delicate piece of jewelry in it. “Okay, open.”
You do, glancing down to what rests in your palm. It’s gorgeous, dainty, and the corners of your mouth lift at the sight of it.
“It’s beautiful, Steve. You didn’t have to.”
“It’s a locket,” he says. His head is bent, shy and visibly nervous. “Open it, too.”
Your heartbeat picks up, like you know, subconsciously, that something big is hiding inside despite the small size of the necklace itself. You wedge your fingernail into the gap, pushing the locket open. The note inside makes your stomach drop.
In his messy, rushed writing, the words ‘I love you.’
You look at him, mouth agape and hopes way up. “Steve?”
“I mean it.”
“How-”
“I mean I’m in love with you, and I think I have been for a really, really long time. I guess it took you being my fake girlfriend for me to realize it.”
“You’re not pranking me, are you?”
You’ve spent so long loving him, and convincing yourself that he could never love you the same, that it feels unreal. Hazy, like a dream.
He sits beside you, cupping your face in his hands softly to make you look at him, “I’m not pranking you. I love you.”
“Holy shit. I love you, too. For so long. I never thought I had a chance with you.”
“I think you’re the only person who’s had a real chance with me since I met you, honey.”
Right there, discarded wrapping paper on the floor, the glow of Christmas lights shining through the window, you doubt you’ll ever take that locket off once it’s on.
You can’t stop yourself from rushing forward and kissing him. A small press of your mouth against his at first, then, it’s more. It’s slow and every single thing you’ve ever wanted. His lips move with yours like they’re the only ones that know you.
This time, when you kiss, there’s no question. It’s real and it’s thawing every single worry you ever had about this. This is real, you get to think now.
Steve pulls away only when your breathing gets heavier, only when he absolutely has to. His thumb trails over your cheek, a lover’s touch. He takes the necklace from your hand, puts it on for you and kisses you again when he’s done.
“Do you think this was a Christmas miracle?” You say, teasing.
“I think this was just me being too stupid to notice how I feel about you. I know now, though.”
“Because you needed a fake girlfriend.”
“Because I needed a fake girlfriend,” he confirms. “But, I’d like a real one now.”
“I think I can manage that,” you nod, a lovesick smile on your face.
For once, Steve’s glad his parents came home. He never would have asked you to fake date him if they hadn’t, and he wouldn’t have realized his very real feelings for you, either. So, maybe it is a Christmas miracle, after all.
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melzula · 19 days
Text
North and South
part one
pairing: zuko x princess!reader
notes: i’m so excited to finally be at the last comic storyline of the series. i do admit there are a lot of noticeable changes from the comic, but i still hope you guys enjoy. also i did make a series playlist if you guys want to give it a listen, it’s included on the masterlist!
summary: while doing her best to rebuild the tribe, the Chief struggles to determine what is really best for her people. however, she hopes that the return of her friends will allow her to see things in a clearer view
~ part of the fire lilies series ~
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After a long day of teaching, you find yourself locked away in your office looking over proposals for the Reconstruction Project. Your head aches from the hours you’ve spent assessing paperwork and writing notes of your own about Hakoda’s new proposal. Things seem to be going well for the most part, your tribe is growing stronger with every passing day, but there’s still much to be done.
It’s been three months since you last visited the Fire Nation and helped Zuko find the missing children, and since returning home all of your attention has been focused on the needs of your people. You’re doing all you can to be the leader your father would want you to be and your tribe needs you to be, but the reconstruction process has made this a much more difficult task.
A gentle knock on your office door breaks you from your thoughts and brings you back to the present, refocusing your attention on the papers sprawled out before you. “Come in.”
“Chief y/n,” Hakoda greets you cordially before gently shutting the door behind him. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“No, of course not, I was just reviewing the proposal you and Malina submitted.”
“And?” He asks with a hopeful glint in his eye. You simply sigh, carefully rubbing your temple in thought before grabbing the papers from your desk and handing them back to him.
“I don’t think I can approve the construction of these plans,” you admit guiltily. “I know there’s an oil deposit here that could be beneficial to the growth of our tribe if used correctly, but can you assure me that will be the case once it’s built? Can you assure me it won’t have any negative impact on our wildlife or our people or our way of life? Can you assure me that it won’t cause tension between us and our sister tribe?”
“I… I can’t promise you any of that,” Hakoda admits with a sigh. “But isn’t taking chances part of making change? This oil could help build machines and make our way of life easier.”
“I’ve heard how some of the Notherners speak of us. I gave Maliq an earful the last time I caught him talking down to my men, and I don’t believe his intentions with this project consider the South’s best interests. Our people don’t deserve just fancy machinery and modern technology, they deserve dignity and respect. At this moment in time I’m not comfortable moving forward with the oil rigs. My answer is no.”
“I understand,” your advisor relents with a disappointed sigh. “I’ll inform Malina and Maliq of your response, and I’ll work hard to make sure we can show you that this project will be worthwhile.”
“Thank you, Hakoda. Now, onto less serious matters,” you note with a faint smile. “Based on the letter I received Katara and Sokka should be arriving tomorrow, and in two days I’ll be hosting a celebration in honor of their return. I can count on you to be there?”
“Of course, but… you won’t mention anything of Malina will you?” He asks hesitantly. “I should be the one to tell them.”
“I don’t like keeping secrets from friends, but I also know that this is a family matter, so you have my word,” you assure him. He thanks you and bids you goodnight before departing from your office, and once again you are all alone.
“What am I going to do?” You sigh, eyes straining as you try looking over the plans again. Change has been necessary to keep your tribe growing and your people strong, but you worry that perhaps there’s been too much change. The only thing that’s really stayed the same is the palace, but even now it feels out of place amongst all the modern buildings and structures. The Southern Water Tribe feels too Northern, and you worry your people are beginning to lose their identity.
Nothing makes sense anymore, but you hope that with the arrival of your friends will come a clearer view on the future ahead.
You can only hope for the best.
~~~
The South is bustling with activity as you usher in your students for the day’s lesson. Your class is reasonably small, made up of only about ten attendees and only two of them being originally from the South. Those two were the most resistant to your lessons, but you did your best to be as understanding of their hesitancy as possible. You too understood the trauma and fear that came with being forced to hide your bending once the war broke out in the South, and some people were still getting used to the fact that there was no longer any danger to run from.
“Good morning my little koala otters,” you greet cheerfully. “I hope you all are well rested and ready for today’s lesson.”
“Excuse me,” a voice calls, bringing your attention to the doorway, “do you have room for another student?”
You nearly collapse from the excitement that fills you at the sight of your two friends standing in the doorway with Master Pakku in tow ready to take over classes for you. You almost trip over your own feet as you rush towards the siblings and throw your arms around them in the tightest hug imaginable.
“Sokka, Katara! I’m so happy to see you guys,” you exclaim with a tearful smile before pulling away. “I can’t believe you’re back already.”
“It’s great to see you again, y/n,” Katara agrees, a content look on her face, “and it’s good to be home, even though it does look… different.”
“I know, it is a bit much,” you admit with an uncomfortable laugh, “but the people seem to like it, and your father thinks a modern look is just what our tribe needs.“
“Is our dad a great advisor or what?” Sokka asks Katara, a prideful smile on his face.
“He certainly has been a great help. Thanks to him and the construction crew from the North I’ve been able to focus on my bending school and more of the social affairs around the South. Having more time to connect with my people helps me be the best Chief I can and make sure I’m making the right choices for them.”
“Speaking of the construction crew,” Katara interrupts with a sour look on her face. “I caught them trying to attack little kids who were playing near a construction site.”
“It was just a misunderstanding, Katara,” Sokka reasons with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Besides, you kicked their butts anyway!”
“That’s terrible,” you express with a worried frown. “I’ll have to have a word with Malina about her crew; they won’t be welcomed here any longer if they keep this sort of behavior up. I won’t have outsiders tormenting my people.”
“This Malina… do you trust her?”
“Why do you ask?” You say, trying to feign obliviousness. You certainly don’t want to get in the middle of anything, but it’s hard having to lie to someone who’s been there for you through thick and thin.
“Well, we’re supposed to have dinner tonight with my dad, and her and her brother Maliq will be joining us. But I’m not really sure if I trust her,” Katara admits sullenly. “Something doesn’t feel right about them.”
“You just have to give her a chance. Anyone who can come up with cool designs like that can’t be all that bad,” her brother argues much to her annoyance.
“You only like her because she’s feeding you,” she grumbles indignantly.
“Look, I think you should speak to your father. He spends more time with her than I do, and he’ll be able to explain things much better than I probably could. The only thing I can tell you both is to keep your schedules open because tomorrow night I’ll be hosting a celebration in your honor!”
“What? You don’t have to do that!” Katara exclaims in surprise.
“Of course I do. You’re Southern heroes, you saved the world by helping the Avatar and you saved our tribe when you helped me defeat Koa,” you explain adamantly. “We’re having the party, and as Chief I demand your presence.”
“You’ve let the power go to your head, haven’t you?” Sokka accuses jokingly. “Don’t worry, y/n, we’ll be there.”
“Good,” you smile, pleased at getting your way. “We’re all going to have a wonderful time and everything is going to work itself out. These things just take time.”
“I guess you’re right,” Katara murmurs, but you can still detect the uncertainty in her features.
“Listen, why don’t you both come by tomorrow after my lessons are over? I can give you a grand tour of the new and improved Southern Water Tribe!” You suggest eagerly. “Your opinions matter too, and I want as much input as possible about how to improve our home for everyone.”
“That sounds nice,” she admits with a meek smile. “Maybe that’s what we need, a chance to settle into life back home.”
“Perfect! I’m excited to show you our procgress!”
While Katara appreciates your enthusiasm, she still doesn’t feel right about Malina or the changes made in the South. It doesn’t really feel like home anymore; it’s so different from how life once was. For your sake she’ll try to give it a chance, but as of now it seems it’ll take a lot more than her father’s reassurance to convince her that these changes are for the best.
But she hopes that maybe you’re right, maybe these things just take time, and maybe once time has passed it’ll feel like normal again.
She can only hope.
~~~
“After we finished rebuilding the outer tribes, we began our work on the royal plaza. It’s now become the main center for commerce, diplomacy, and unity. The local businesses that have opened here have been massively successful, and the square is constantly bustling with activity.”
Katara feels overwhelmed by the whirlwind of information you throw at her as you guide her and Sokka through the brand new royal village. You’re right about it always being busy- people rush by your trio to start their work for the day or bargain for the latest deals at the merchant stands. They look happy, content, and out of place. The people don’t match the towering buildings around them, and they surely don’t look like the same people she’d left behind a few years ago.
“And everyone is happy with the changes?” She asks curiously.
“Well, some were resistant to the change, so I tried to be as accommodating as possible. Those who didn’t want new homes were allowed to keep their original huts, and I didn’t force the outer tribes to merge with the royal village. I gave them the autonomy to govern their own affairs so long as it doesn’t interfere with the overall success of the tribe, but they’re still required to report to me at least once a month about their progress and request aid if needed.”
“So it’s kind of like the Earth Kingdom in a way?” Sokka points out indeterminately. “You‘ve established cities while still keeping the palace as the center point of the tribe.”
“I guess that’s true,” you note thoughtfully at his observation. “Father said I’d gain the knowledge needed to lead by traveling the world, so I’m using the knowledge I’ve gained for the benefit of my people.”
“I hate to burst your burble, Princess, but I don’t think everything’s as perfect as you say it is,” the boy says with a frown. Faltering, you slow yourself to a stop and turn to face the siblings. Their features are riddled with apprehension, and you’re not sure what to make of it.
“What do you mean, Sokka? Is there something you don’t like about the changes? Is there something I should be doing better?” You ask, fretful over the idea of not living up to the expectations placed upon you as leader.
“No, no, I think you’re doing a great job, honest. It’s just… well, some people aren’t happy about the Northerners being here.”
“Last night Malina was attacked at dinner, and we were forced to chase after these kids that stole Maliq’s briefcase,” Katara begins to explain, lowering her voice to ensure no one can overhear your conversation. “We followed them to the abandoned Fire Nation shipwreck and discovered a series of tunnels underneath.”
“There was an entire group of Southerners down there led by Gilak, a warrior who fought alongside our fathers against the Fire Nation,” Sokka continues, and you can only hang on to every word. You feel ashamed to know that this has been going on without your knowledge, and it’s almost as if you’ve failed in a sense. You’re Chief, it’s your job to know of things like this, and yet you’re having to find out about it through your friends. “They’re not happy about our sister tribe’s presence here in the South.”
“I understand some of the Northerners can be a bit blunt and unpleasant at times, but I didn’t think it was this bad,” you admit with a disappointed frown. “What did they tell you?”
“He said he understood that at first it was necessary for you to bring in people from the North to help restore bending to our tribe because it would make us stronger,” Sokka explains as he recalls the awkward encounter. “But now he thinks my dad is going overboard with all the people he’s brought in to help us rebuild.”
“He says we’re becoming a cheap imitation of the North,” Katara murmurs thoughtfully, and by the look on her face it seems as if she agrees with the sentiment.
“What else did Galik say?”
“They want to eradicate the presence of foreigners and are prepared to go to war to do so,” Sokka says sullenly, not exactly enjoying having to break this news to you. “He says we have to get rid of the Northerners before they take advantage of you.”
“Of me?” You retort in bewilderment. You definitely didn’t expect that to come out Sokka’s mouth. Katara then places a comforting hand on your shoulder.
“Galik and his followers believe that your relationship with Zuko- an outsider- has made you too trusting of foreigners. He thinks the Northerners are taking advantage of this trust to worm their way into the affairs of the South.”
“He compared our father to Koa,” Sokka spits irately, still fuming at the memory. “He thinks he’s abusing his position as advisor to go behind your back and make all these changes.”
“That’s not true at all!” You exclaim in disbelief. “Spirits, this has all gotten so out of hand. What am I to do?”
“Hey, don’t worry, we’re going to figure it out. Our dad is already investigating the matter as we speak,” your friend assures you, doing his best to alleviate your worry. “You’re doing great, Chief.”
You give him a meek smile at his encouragement, but his words do little to quell your anxieties. The last thing you want is a civil war to break out between your tribes, but at this point it’s starting to feel inevitable. You just hope Hakoda can put a stop to this before it gets too out of hand.
“Y/n, could I speak to you alone?” Katara asks suddenly much to the surprise of her brother.
“Of course. We’ll have to finish our tour another time, Sokka,” you tell the water tribe boy with an apologetic smile. Turning to his sister, you gesture for her to follow. “There’s something I want to show you.”
You weave your way through the village and back towards the palace square. The towering buildings slowly fade away the further you go, and the air here is more peaceful and serene with the absence of all the merchants and people. After a while you finally reach your stop, allowing Katara a moment to take in the building before her.
“What is this place?” She asks in awe, admiring the pristine marble work of the pillars lining the structure.
“Let’s go inside,” you suggest with a careful smile before ushering her toward. Immediately she’s greeted with a vast expanse of artifacts, artwork, literature, and more. Each section has its own label and scroll of information detailing the importance of the different exhibits, and Katara figures it would probably take hours to look through everything.
“This is incredible. Did you do all of this?”
“This was one of the first buildings I commissioned as Chief,” you recount with a proud smile. “The South lost so much because of the war, and I didn’t want anyone to forget all that we’d been through and all we’d done to survive. This museum holds every piece of history of the Southern Water Tribe, and I hope it can be used to educate others about our strength and resilience.”
“I want the South to grow, Katara. I want us to connect with others, to live in harmony with the other Nations. I want people from all over the world to visit the South and learn about our culture. Is it really so naive of me to have such hope?”
“No, I guess not,” Katara admits guiltily. “Y/n, the reason I wanted to speak to you alone was because I- well, because Malina and my father are together, and I’m not sure how to feel. She’s nothing like my mother, and I don’t think she’s good enough for my dad.”
“I know what it’s like to lose a parent,” you note faintly, absently brushing your fingers against your tiger shark tooth necklace. “I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if my mother began to see someone else. But if it were to happen, I’d know that I’d just have to trust my mother’s judgement. Just like you have to trust your father’s.”
“It’s easier said than done,” Katara says with a huff. You merely give her a comforting smile and pull her figure into a hug.
“Just give it a chance. She doesn’t have to replace your mother, she never will, but it doesn’t hurt to get to know her. I think tonight’s festival would be the perfect opportunity, don’t you think?”
“Maybe you’re right,” she says with sigh, appreciating your comfort and wisdom. She’s glad to have you, and she knows you feel the same.
You part from your hug and give her a reassuring smile. “I have to head back to the palace now for a meeting with your father and the Northern siblings, but please feel free to stay in here as long as you’d like.”
She watches you depart from the room before turning her attention to the portrait before her. The image depicts a family from before the war, the mother and daughter brushing the animal pelts while the father and son cook freshly caught fish over the fire. They look happy, and Katara begins to feel her chest ache.
~~~
It’s a peaceful day in the Fire Nation as Zuko sits in the gardens and enjoys a cup of tea with his Uncle. It’s certainly been a stressful past few years, so he’s learned to enjoy calm and quiet moments like these where he can finally stop to catch his breath.
A servant approaches the table and bows in respect before offering the Fire Lord a scroll. “This just arrived from the South, sir.”
“Thank you,” he says, taking the scroll before dismissing the servant.
“A letter from the Princess?” Iroh asks with a curious smile, and based on the longing look that plays upon Zuko’s features as he reads the letter, the general confirms his guess to be correct.
“My love, I hope things in the Fire Nation are running smoothly. As you know, Hakoda has invited you for a conference that is to occur in just a few days. However, I’m hosting a celebration tomorrow for Katara and Sokka’s return home, and I would love for you to arrive early and attend! I hope to see you soon, Zuko. Yours truly, y/n.”
Smiling faintly, Zuko tucks the scroll away before looking to his Uncle. “Would you be able to look after things for a few extra days while I’m gone? It appears I’ll be taking my leave to the South earlier than expected.”
“Of course, nephew,” Iroh smiles cordially. “I would like nothing more than to allow you the chance to relax and enjoy some time with your beloved. Please do give the Princess my best.”
“Thank you, Uncle,” the Fire Lord says before excusing himself from the table and heading inside to prepare for his departure.
After months of waiting, Zuko is finally going to be reunited with the one he loves most.
| atla tags: @sirkekselord @niktwazny303
| zuko tags: @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @taeeemin @lora21 @livelaughlovekuni @lovialy
| fire lilies tags: @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch @docackerman @rinalsword
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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 2 months
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01/15/2024 Crew Recap
Hey all, today has been a very very very long day. I’m typing this with my eyeballs glazed over and half open. However, so much has happened in such a little amount of time I wanted share a few things before I pass out I know a lot of you are in different timezones, are busy with life, and taking a break, so maybe this will help with parsing through some of the crazy stuff the crew has been up to.
The petition hit 50K, and is at 52.5K at the moment
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Fundraisers: I didn’t even realize there were two different fundraisers for Palestine/Gaza going on but we blew both out of the water. (Note: the second picture is from a November campaign but I think its just as important to highlight— ty for the correction anon!)
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The Emmys hashtag turn out was great tonight. There was some pretty amazing and creative stuff going on across all the platforms. Some can be seen on IG, but if you wanna see the majority of it, check out twitter #SaveOFMD #75thEmmys
---We have new ways of protesting and advocating for our show, see here for the thread on tumblr (from twitter):---
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And to support that @saltpepperbeard was kind enough to put together a wonderful guide on how to Call It Through as a Crew: Alleviating Some Phone Anxiety which as someone who is socially anxious and sometimes verbally vomits on people when on the phone, is AMAZING and thank you so much for doing that to help.
-- > There is also this new thread on some new places to call into. Don't quote me on that being an official thing we should do, I'm sure @renewasacrew and others will have more in the AM, I just wanted to share it so people could follow if they wanted to.
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New Articles!
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Our Flag Means Death: Here’s why season three deserves to be aired
Petition to save BBC show with rare Rotten Tomatoes score gets 50,000 signatures
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There's so much more that's happened today-- but I can't write it all down because my brain is couscous.
<---So instead, I'm going to use this last part to gush over you all and your amazing contributions in all your unique ways. The community support the last few days has been SO INCREDIBLY UPLIFTING.-->
I saw (and experienced) people reblogging asks where random followers, anons, and mutuals just reached out and sent love because they could tell people were struggling.
I've seen comments all over the place on Tumblr, IG, Twitter, and Facebook where each and every person is encouraging each other to speak their mind, or complimenting their artwork, encouraging them if they were feeling uncomfortable with things outside their comfort zones, coming up with new and exciting ways to fight back, people reaching out to the cast/crew just to say hi and remind them we love them.
I've seen Self-Care checkpoints all over, reminding people to drink water, take a break, block your notifications for a while, not engaging in negative behavior.
I've seen people being so nice on instagram posts that the people who were being dicks about all our comments turned around and decided to watch OFMD!
I saw so many people doing new analysis of scenes and characters, and having really deep and friendly discussions that make everyone think in new ways.
I saw people digging through old tumblrs to bring life back to old posts and artwork.
I saw so much NEW artwork, new FICS! New GIFS! So much new art and love!
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I could literally go on and on, but I've just...I had to dump this out of my brain otherwise I'd explode. I've just seen so much today that continues to make me so proud of our little safe space ship and so happy to be apart of this community.
You all continue to be the best of the best of humans, and I am so very grateful to get to witness and be apart of it. Rest up lovelies and have a good day / night, wherever you may be. May you dream of sexy middle-aged gay men kissing, or hugging, or whatever else you want them to be getting into.
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piracytheorist · 6 months
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FINALLY
Thoughts on episode 2x01!
I'm so making a crack recap out of this. Idk if it's going to be this week, but I may have to skip all the other episodes up to this point XD
Ok for those of you who don't know, the bullet-in-butt date (which I can finally mention openly as it's not manga spoiler anymore!) was the only manga chapter that hadn't been adapted that I read from very early on, way before I decided to stay anime-only so I knew everything about it. So I expected the beginning. I actually like that we don't see Yor do her slaughter at that place. She's like a ghost, or a legend, as the short-lived survivor calls her.
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Look at her! So cute, covered in the blood of her victims 😌
I do have to say, I was surprised by the amount of blood they showed. I think they actually put the violence up a notch in comparison to the previous season, bringing it much closer to the manga levels of violence.
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It's also a bold choice to like, actually open the season with this. It's serious business and I appreciate that. I'm not too big on violence but I also don't like it when it's "purified" or whatever. We're watching a show where two of the main characters kill people left and right. Blood is a prerequisite at this point.
Anyway! GRANDE upgrade on the animation, oh my god! It's all in the little movements and additional "swerves" of the characters' forms. I don't have the time to make a gif now showing that but it's obvious they took the money they made the previous year and put a lot of it on animation budget! Love it!
Aaaaaaaand new music! Most of the new stuff is quirky and funny, perfect for Anya and Franky's shenanigans :D Looking forward to see what new pieces we'll get with this season!
I had some frail hope they would have titled the episode "Date with a Bullet in the Butt". Can you imagine. We were robbed. Robbed!
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Ever since I read that chapter I went like, Yor says she treated the wound... does that mean she got the bullet out? Or is she actually walking with the bullet in her buttcheek all this time? I mean... it is called the "bullet-in-butt date" after all...
The way all of this could have been solved by Yor going like "I tripped down the stairs and fell on my butt and now it hurts to walk and sit". But then we wouldn't have this! It's the funny miscommunication that makes them, really <3
The way Anya worries about her! I felt a little sad for her because this is the first time she sees her mama so beaten down by a job, I think?
One of the ways you see the upgraded animation: the way Yor trembles as she straightens up after reassuring Anya, and then the dizzy walk to her room as she goes to rest. Awesome.
Yor just walks it off and Anya is like "Mama is actually immortal, wow" meanwhile Loid is losing his absolute shit
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"WIFE IS SAD. THE WORLD IS ENDING. I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED HER TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING. I AM A HORRIBLE HUSBAND."
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Oh, I adore the different colouring on the memory scene. I also love how the gossip trio just falls on Yor the moment she slips out that oh no they don't do all the conventional couple things!!
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Dude is genuinely confused. BestTM SpyTM of WestalisTM, flabbergasted by a woman with social skills in the negatives.
It was eight in the morning. On a weekend. Yor was way too excited for the date she ran to get ready and they were out all day. My god. When am I gonna get my learning date with my emotionally constipated fake husbando
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Twilight has a smug grin on his face as Franky accepts the cheque as payment to do chores. I love that addition!
As I love this
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Franky grabbing Anya's hand and waving to them for her. They really knew how to handle an already funny chapter and use animation to add more humor to it!
Look at him, starting off so smug but then
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He's truly an intelligence agent, trying to work with the information he has on hand. Since he doesn't have the information that Yor is injured, his plans are doomed to fail.
The way Franky is down with everything crazy Anya proposes. I love that duo.
I also liked the way they allowed Bond to sit this episode out, since that manga chapter takes place before the Doggy Crisis arc and Bond is not yet part of the family. I do have some thoughts about the timing of this episode but I'll get to that later.
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And here we have the angst punch in the gut, as others talked about it, it's a point in Twilight's character to not see anything fun about the spy work that it's not even fun to play spy. Since one of the moments adding to that is an anime only scene (from the part where Anya makes secret codes) and the dialogue here is just slightly different from the same scene in the manga, it looks like it's a deliberate choice to make anime Loid more sensitive about this specific thing. Interesting!
I gotta say, it would be so easy to objectify Yor and her body with where her wound was. But even though they showed her in a pants-tight-enough-to-hurt-your-butt-wound situation, it was still pretty clear what the focus was. I really appreciate that.
Yor says no to the tight pants and Loid apologizes??? Why wasn't that in the translated version of the manga??
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Like here especially, with the face they gave him and the way Eguchi delivered that line it was pretty clear that Yor's reaction made Loid feel like he crossed a line with what he told her. What happened in the manga translation???
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VERY interesting picture choice for the movie poster! Ostania gots propaganda to do, after all!
I love how Anya fell asleep during the film while Franky cried his eyes out. Poor sap XD
And LMAO Anya seeing her parents leaving from the spa and trying to get Franky to move but he's too busy getting a massage! And then some added wackiness with Yor being so tense from her wound that she made a murder glare enough to scare a bear!
And Loid is still like DAFUQ AM I DOING WRONG
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I like though, that he is not blaming Yor at all. He doesn't consider her irrational or ungrateful for the date, he just sees it as him not having done enough research... and in actual reality, he doesn't have all the data needed, specifically the whole "bullet-in-butt" thing. I'm sure he would have planned differently had he known that XD
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Poor Franky XD at least he's finding ways to vent XD
The way they animated Yor's reluctance to sit was great, lol. I'm not sure it was clear she was "hover-sitting" but it was funny in any case.
I loved the tension when we saw the surviving Red Circus member! It was handled so well dropped right in the middle of a funny episode.
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This had no right being this funny. But also. Anya is imagining a "default" kind of guy because even though she's reading the guy's mind she doesn't know how he looks like, so she's just making up a face to play out her imagination. Great detail from the manga already.
Anya imagines Loid saying he'll abandon her if he finds out about Yor being an assassin. That's another angsty punch in the gut but also for another post probably XD
The timing here feels a little weird. This chapter was supposedly long ago, when the family was still getting used to living together. Franky sees Anya worried and goes like "Even though they're a fake family, she worries so much?" and seeing that in the anime, practically two episodes before this one he went like "Hey do you love your dad and mom" and she said she does... idk maybe in the adaptation process some things could be left out so that they can make more sense.
How did neither Yor nor Loid suspect something wrong with the suddenly very thick and muddy cocktail she was offered?
Once again, upgraded animation as Yor drinks the pufferfish poison! I love it! Hopefully it'll keep being that good for the rest of the season :D
I remember the tension I felt when I first read the manga in that moment. I was like oh no! And then I was Anya
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Gremlin Anya is back and I love it
Anya goes ahead and Home-Alones too close to the sun and fucking makes a bomb. That's a whole other level. You really don't want this girl turning evil, she'll take over the world XD
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She should have seen her entrance as Thorn Princess' ally! She was epic!
There was some violence censorship there, as the bad guy in the manga is shown a little burned and bleeding after the explosion, but in the anime he's just... ruffled or whatever.
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Idk they probably decided it would be too much to show that a child caused such violence XD
So does Loid go on thinking that Yor was in a super bad mood and then everything went away as soon as she downed a glass of cocktail? I also just realized she just went bottoms up on it, lol.
The episode was great and the date was funny and cute at the end. But.
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GIVE ME BLUSHING LOID YOU COWARDS. SHOW ME THAT BLUSH. YOU GAVE US "HIS SMILE HIDES A HINT OF REAL EMOTION" YOU CAN AFFORD GIVING US A BLUSH. *screams* *eats drywall*
The date ends well and with fun! Then the monster wakes up again the next day.
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Loid's got a lot to learn. Who knew humans can be complicated!
Overall, a great introduction to the second season! I'm happy we got the bullet-in-butt date and I'm so excited to venture into new stuff that I know next to nothing about :D
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god-islovee · 23 days
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What Are You Manifesting?
The Piles:
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𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘈 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘦
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Pile One:
Song: Love On The Brain -Rihanna; I Gotta Find Peace Of Mind (Live) -Ms. Lauryn Hill; Let Me Go -Daniel Caesar
Side Note: Man, this pile is heavy on the emotions. I almost cried channeling these songs for you. I hope you manifest all the love and healing you need, take care my love <3.
Angel Number: 7, 77, 777
Channeled Words: Critical, horoscope, behead, flourish, hip, ghostwriter, attract, pipe, replace, difficulty.
Channeled Names: Naila, Yeseniya, Fadhili, Korneli, Göstav, Klara, Hyeon-Ju, Irene, Feidhelm, Kazuhiko, Domingo, Viola, Violetta, Olivia.
So, what I'm getting from your energy is that you're manifesting openness, vulnerability, and honesty. Of course that isn't the only thing you're manifesting, there is a very exciting, passionate, and confident energy you're going to be embracing. I feel like for some of you, you could be manifesting a union with someone you feel very strongly about. They may not come off as socially appropriate or acceptable. I feel like they have a bit of a bad reputation and people have judged them harshly because of it. I feel like this is someone you know from your past and maybe you guys used to link up and casually have sex or don't necessarily intend to have sex, but it happens. I feel like you have a lot of self-control and know when to limit yourself. Sexually, financially, lustfully, even when it comes to fun, drinking, smoking, anything that could potentially turn into a bad habit or addiction. You also know when to limit distractions and set boundaries and I feel like the person who could be from your past, doesn't know how to balance out their time and energy with their responsibilities. They may let their fears, addictions, bad habits, and desires control them more than their heart and mind. I feel like you're manifesting something long term and serious. You aren't playing games and I'm hearing you can "get it" anytime you want it, but you don't care to accept the bare minimum. You've had your fun and fair share of escapism and I feel like now you're ready to build abundance in all aspects. That goes for financial stability, success, a happy family, and wealth. I feel like you're someone who will hold it down for a person you really love and value. This could be how you feel towards someone you may or may not be talking to right now. I feel like loving them brought you happiness and pulled you out of a dark place. I feel like you loved this person a lot and wanted to build a home with them. It pushed you to mature and heal because you knew you had to be a better you in order to be focused and determined on the goals you have. I feel like this person feels like they lose their self-control around you. They're very attracted to you, and they fear how they feel for you because they know if they let you too close to them, you have the ability to hurt them, reject them, or make them feel less of themselves, but you wouldn't do that. They're just afraid of intimacy. Loving them has been a challenge for you, but you said, "challenge accepted". I feel like you didn't take no for an answer, you're persistent, confident, patient, & I'm seeing you've put in hard work and effort into this situation. But not only in this situation, you've worked on yourself, your family, and your priorities. You aren't chasing them or even focused on the negatives. I'm seeing you've manifested so much that you don't even realize. You've manifested clarity, peace, stability, strength, wisdom, & even a new mentality. That's not all spirit is saying, you also manifested a very big opportunity that will bring balance to every part of your life. You may not see this now, but you will very soon. You're in this period of realizing who you are, what you believe in, what you want out of life, & more. It's like things have been moving slow and at a very steady pace for you. It's like this saying, "It's slow to get rich, and fast to go broke". I feel like that applies in many ways. Good things take time. You can't rush success or progress; you build it and watch it grow. This person can have extremely high standards and boundaries. I feel like it's been so hard for you to get close to their heart and get them to open up to you. One of the most important things you are manifesting is freedom and release from this relationship that's held you back emotionally. You've been holding on emotionally and maybe even mentally and physically for others, but spirit is saying to let go. Let the inevitable happen. When a situation is falling apart over and over and just not working, that is a big sign you're resisting change.
It's important to control what you can control and that's you. You have power over yourself and nothing else. You create the life you want by treating yourself the way you want to be treated and not allowing others to dismiss you and influence you negatively. You do not have to tolerate people who do not want to love you the way you deserve to be loved. You are manifesting so much love in your life and I feel like even if this situation didn't work out as planned, you are manifesting a long term relationship with someone who really compliments you and helps bring in balance just as you do for them. I see you pushing each other to be your best selves, supporting each other, nurturing, providing, teaching, healing, all that good stuff. This is someone you can create a family with.
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Pile Two:
Song: One More Night -Maroon 5; Higher -Tems; A Change Is Gonna Come -Sam Cooke
Angel Number: 6, 66, 666
Channeled Words: Crack, disco, microphone, tissue, latest, ally, influence, chauvinist, kidnap, slot.
Channeled Names: Parris, Svetlana, Carlotta, Marcus, Ayan, Samyukatha, Miklo, Fernando, Jason, Olivia, Nazar, Dema, Ahriman, Alijah.
You're manifesting growth, possibilities, answers, awareness, love, & so much more. Right now, things aren't as tangible as you would like them to be. Your manifestations may not be appearing on the surface or showing up right on your door step, but the energy is there. I feel like you're learning very important lessons. There is something you are being called to do and I feel like you've been hesitant about making a decision or a choice. Your emotions were clouding your perception in the recent past and I feel like it's made you feel very confused and indecisive. There's been a lot of temporary situations and I feel like you've made the choice of investing your time and love into the wrong things. I'm seeing you learning from this and managing your ego in a much healthier way. You may have made choices impulsively without thinking of the consequences and this is because you acted on a feeling. You're learning that not every feeling needs to be acted upon. We must know what is right for us and what isn't. Sometimes are own feelings can deceive us, which is why we must learn to be more mindful and trust our intuition when we're feeling a certain way about something. I feel like there was a situation you had a hard time trying to understand, and you may have continuously questioned yourself trying to figure out the truth about why it is you feel the way you do about something or someone. For some of you, you kept going back to a person you had an unstable relationship with even though you felt in your body you shouldn't have. You may have ignored your intuition and allowed this person to come in and be emotionally deceptive and manipulative to you. For others of you, I feel like you just had a hard time making the smartest decisions because of your emotions. You haven't had a peace of mind for a while, but I see you manifesting this energy within yourself. It's like a whole new you. This phase of your life is coming to an end and you're changing in ways you probably didn't think you would. I feel like for the most part, you knew change was inevitable and nothing stays the same forever. I see you getting a wish fulfillment and feeling really inspired by these new lessons you're learning. When I say inspired by them, I mean you're ready to use the knowledge you've gained and apply it to your life. This is a powerful change even if it may seem small to you. I see you releasing your fears of the past and embracing the good times you had. You may be fearful of intimacy and opening up to people because you've been betrayed, deceived, and hurt. It's hard sometimes to learn how to trust in love again. I feel like you will be overcoming the things that hold you back from being your best self and stepping into a more disciplined, stable, hardworking, and passionate energy. You know when to use your logic and when to set boundaries. It took you some time to gain the self-control you have now, but you manifested this for yourself and because of that you will be able to create long term success, relationships, and build a home for you and your family. People from your past will try and pop back up into your life but use your discernment. For those of you with someone you are struggling with romantically, I feel like this person tries to be very kind, lighthearted, and maybe even flirts with you. I feel like they really like you they just have a hard time being confident, secure, and in their best energy. They've been feeling really insecure and doubtful about themselves because they've hurt you and disappointed you because of their ego. I know you might be upset with them, but spirit is saying to have compassion and understanding. We all make mistakes as humans and we shouldn't change ourselves because someone else hurt us. Even though pain can change us, it doesn't have to be negatively. I feel like this person was very depressed and pessimistic about love. They had a bad attitude when it came to seeing the bigger picture.
They may have lied to you, didn't express how they felt emotionally, played games with you, and maybe even rude towards you when you didn't do anything. I feel like you've been doing your best to understand them, have compassion, patience, and be supportive but they still weren't satisfied. Conversations with this person may have turned into disagreements, conflict, arguments, and them just wanting to be right. They didn't even understand how they felt and why they acted the way they did because I feel like they were acting from a place of insecurity and fear. They let their ego get the best of them and I feel like they're realizing it within themselves, but this isn't something they talk to you about often. I do see you that you guys have discussed it before, but not in a healthy way. They may have come off very rude about it and hurt your feelings without any consideration of how they made you feel. It's like they use honesty to be malicious. They act like if they are honest with you, then it's okay for them to be prideful and arrogant. Anyways, they know your worth. They know the type of person you are and they see you in a positive light, they just don't feel like way about themselves. They could be jealous. Jealous because they don't feel as good about themselves as you do. You're loving, compassionate, nurturing, healing, smart, patient, abundant, self-reliant, and to them you have it all together. Even though they have all of these qualities, they compare themselves to you. I'm seeing that right now you're feeling this energy of very deep emotion and love. You could feeling particularly empathetic and intuitive. It's a heightened sense of spiritual awareness. Spirit is saying that mentally you haven't come to this awareness of how you feel. It's like you don't understand the lesson or message you're supposed to be receiving through your mind. It could be that all the hard work and effort you've been putting into your manifestations are coming to fruition and it has to do with love as well. You're healing and overcoming hard times you thought you'd never get over. I see someone from your past that took advantage of your time and energy wanting to communicate with you about how they've been feeling. I see them bringing up old memories and past moments you've shared when times were good between you and wanting to move forward with you in some way. I see you feeling stuck in your head about this person and not really knowing why you feel the way you do and it's because there is an opportunity you manifested with this person to be able to start something long term together. You're having a difficult time letting go of the past memories and experiences that hurt you and that's why you aren't seeing this opportunity, but you will. I see them speaking their mind to you and helping you get clarity over how you feel. Right now, is a good time to listen to how you feel and trust your intuition. Don't listen to your fear. Open yourself up to love and opportunities coming your way.
Pile Three:
Song: November Rain -Guns N' Roses; Here Comes The Sun -The Beatles
Angel Number: 4, 44, 444
Channeled Words: Soft, sofa, flexible, X-ray, single, spit, flush, condition, flood, extort, pain, carnival, octopus, sing, candy, tattoos.
Channeled Names: Polya, Simon, Raheim, Bhaskar, Achaikos, Krastyu, Gabriella, Alicia, Nathan, Eva, Gabriele, Alejandro.
I see you coming out of a period of solitude. You've been spending time alone trying to calm your mind and connect with yourself. I feel like you've also been using this time alone to heal and overcome this heartache you felt. It made you feel insecure and unworthy of happiness, and I feel like you're manifesting many opportunities to create abundance and happiness for your life. You've grown self-reliant and emotionally content with yourself and where you are in life. If you don't feel this way, I see this coming in for you. You're going to be starting something new and venturing off into new horizons, seeking adventure and fun. I feel like your life has been a bit mundane and routine and you're wanting to do things differently and open yourself up to joy and feeling more of a free-spirited energy. Something very unexpected is going to happen very quickly is what I'm hearing, and I feel like intuitively you may have felt it coming or just had this inner knowing, but whatever it is it's going to be an outcome that you are happy with. It is divine intervention and I feel like God is doing things behind the scenes to help a situation come into fruition for you. For some of you, it is a long-term relationship with someone you know or been with and have shared very deep sentimental experiences together. For others of you, you're deepening your spiritual beliefs and your faith. I'm seeing that God is going to do something that will help strengthen your faith even more. Continue being generous and giving to those in need. Whether it be words of wisdom, love, time, money, whatever it is you're doing to help someone else. In terms of love, I see you or someone else making a decision to communicate. There has been distance emotionally, physically, maybe even all together and I see that for some of you, you're going to see this person face to face, for others maybe over text or the phone, it could even be at a social event. Some type of apology will be made, and I feel like it'll have something to do with how you guys' left things or treated each other in the past. I see there is a very good chance you two can end up together for a long time. Don't rush anything or be impulsive. Take your time and be patient with the way things progress. In general, I see you've manifested this whole entire spiritual rebirth and a lot of things in your life are going to be changing. I see that when you get to this place in your life when you're financially and/or materially abundant, spirit is saying to be wise on how you spend your blessings. This goes for your time, energy, money, love, all that stuff. Don't be impulsive and let bad habits put you in a place where you may lose your abundance or take it for granted. I feel like it could go good or it could go bad. It'll be different for everyone, but the chances of things going well are really high as long as you allow them to be. Take care of yourself. Manage your time, energy, and resources in a practical and diligent way.
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hum-suffer · 14 days
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I wish to share this on my own blog but I know I will get a ton of hate from people I call 'friends'. You can ignore this rant and all, I am just leaving this in your inbox because one of your post was so crucial in my disillusion process. It was that one post about how many people lost their lives for chanting "Jai Siya Ram" The whole RJB thing, I was always on the fence about it. Leaning slightly towards the "Why cant we build schools and hospitals there instead!" team. While even with my biased views I still accepted that the Hindu side had a right to grieve over the temple that was razed all those years back- despite acknowledging that it was an injustice, I still felt they shouldnt raze down mosques and that the whole RJB grandeur should have been muted etc. My own parents constantly fed me one sided views. That it was all a Brahmin supremacist movement. That it was a movement to oppress the minorities. That it was never even a real issue but instead artificially manufactured for political reasons. Like any other kid I felt my parents can never be wrong. Unfortunately, in that perception I was the one in wrong. Sorry this is turning lengthy but it is weighing heavy on me. The whole excitement that was built around 22nd Jan- it appeared to be an overhyped media gimmick to me. However as the date neared, I saw the saffron flags adorning every street, almost every flat in my society and every shop in my area. The strangest part of all this, I live in a non Hindi state. We were always told this whole RJB movement was a movement of 'illiterate Northies'- that was the language I had grown up hearing. However what I saw was the opposite. Every street temple was adorned. I had never seen this level of festivities even in peak festivals like Diwali. Forget that, even the street hawkers had decorated their cart thingies. Poorest of the poor slums had saffron flags. How could it be if the whole thing was artificially created? Our house maid asked for a day off for that day so that she can watch pran pratishtha event. These arent 'illiterate northies' The highest residential towers here had diwali lightings. Fanciest of the malls in my city, Brand shops, cars- everything your eye could see had some symbolism of RJB festivities. Almost like everyone was under Ram's spell. On tumblr, while scrolling I then came across that post of your which I mentioned earlier. And I couldnt scroll past it. I decided to read on it. Why were people killed for chanting that one name? Was it really that deep? Are Hindus still carrying scars of that event that many have said didnt even happen? Is Ram really that relevant? Is he even real? So many temples for him and yet why are they fighting for that one? Cant they just pray in the other temples? And when I digged, the amount of skeletons that jumped out were the worst reality check I have had so far in life. I was a mess, I still am. It is atrociously horrific. The more I read the truth of all the events, of our past, of our present struggles- it is so unbearable.
Its been two months since the event and I could only bring myself to send this to you today. I am beyond horrified with the reality. I went to the temple near my society on the 22nd. The crowd there was spellbound. When Ram Lalla's face was shown on the projector, I expected everyone to raise Jai Shree Ram slogans but everyone was so quiet. Crying. Sobbing. It was bizarre to witness it in real time. I teared up watching all of the people sob around me. I didnt even care for him then, in fact Shri Ram's character as I had known of him until then was one of "that misogynist king who wronged his wife". I was fairly negative to him and yet I too couldn't help but sob on that day while looking at him. He appeared so real, so adorable-so alive! I had always seen the gods as just stone but on that day his eyes- I swear they looked alive. I tried hard to see the stone but i couldnt overlook the god. The smile, the eyes, the cheeks- so sober, so lovable.
That was the day I witnessed in real time who he really is. He is the king that united everyone across the country behind one cause. Poorest of the poor and Richest of the rich- they all stood side by side that day. Everyone celebrated, everyone cried. Thats who Ram is to the people of this country. Ayodhya is hundreds of miles away from where I live and yet on that day it felt like we were all standing right there in this court. I couldnt even decide what i felt about it for many days after that but on the 22nd I found myself healing from some wound that I didnt even know I needed to heal from. Hearing about that one scrap-collector lady that donated a measly 20 rupees for the Ram temple; about that one gold merchant who spent a fortune on the golden gates of the temple- it was extremely eye opening. People of this country are so mad in love with him. Rightly so. He accepts them all. As the story goes, he doesnt differentiate between a little squirrel or the mighty vaanars. Two months later, I am now desperately seeking his refuge too. I dont know if I would ever be able to live the euphoria of that again however the very fact that I could feel his presence despite all of my reservations against him for all of my life means that he doesnt hold a grudge against me. He included me in the celebrations and now I wish someday I can feel attached to him the way all those people who laid their lives for his cause did. Jai Siya Ram
First of all, my dear, never be sorry to contact me in any way. I encourage it, i promise, and you will never find judgement with me for any reason, provided that you are respectable, which, you are. And as someone who has also been through some serious disillusionment, I would never ignore this.
I absolutely understand the apprehension in sharing your new views in your blog due to the response from others and i would not pressure you at all to do that. You can take your time and until then, my ask box and dms are always open for you.
As far as Ram Janmbhoomi goes, I was unaware of it as well, for almost all my life. I was raised to turn my head the other way, should I notice things that might be controversial. My father was the first one in my family to break out of the mold and search up the atrocities that have happened in our country, especially against Hindus, as those are the ones that the general media seems eager to push under the rug. From him, i started learning more and later it became my own idea to never be unaware of what has been and is being inflicted on Hindus.
Personally, when I was younger, I felt similar about Shri Ram. Why did he abandon his wife? If he abandoned her on the word of a washerman, what does it mean for us, mere humans?
It is only when I got older that i understood that this part was not in the original Ramayan, at all. This is from Tulsidas Ji's Ramcharitmanas. And it has been popularised extremely to the stretch that it lost the meaning. Tulsidas Ji's narration of Shri Ram abandoning his wife is, in a way, to show that Shri Ram was the epitome of control and law and abided by the law as well as the wishes of his citizens even when it was not beneficial to him. Agnipariksha, in the Ramayan, was to exchange a illusion of Mata Sita with the real Mata Sita. This, in my idea, is because Mata Sita is Lakshmi herself. She would not stay in a place where women are not respected.
What I mean is, our texts are large and elaborated with metaphors. Sometimes, interpolation as well as local folk tales also become a part of our interpretation of such texts. I am not giving you excuses, but reasons for your misinterpretation of Shri Ram.
I'm so very proud of you for taking initiative for yourself and trying to see the situation happening around yourself without bias. It is extremely amazing that you took up a search of your own in answers and decided to find the truth, despite any previous reservations you had.
Shri Ram protects and nurtures us, my dear. He will not hold a grudge against you, ever. Trust your instincts and give into him, connect with him in any way that you feel is best. For example, visit a temple some day. Read up about him sometimes. Talk with him, like you would with an elder brother. Understanding Ram, in a way, means understanding yourself.
I'm honoured that a post of mine could help you question the bias views you previously held. Thank you so much for coming to me, my dear. And my ask box as well as my DMs are always open, you ever want to talk.
Jai Siya Ram.
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Heyy if you haven't been asked this could you do prompt #194 where the reader (gender neutral if you want) is getting flirted at in a saloon, and then a slightly jealous Arthur helps the reader out 🥰 kind of a silly fluff idea <3
Sure!💖 Hope you enjoy!
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Green Isn't His Color
The saloon doesn't just fill Arthur with alcohol. It also fills him with a negative emotion when he sees a man flirting with you.
#194 “Is that guy bothering you?”
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"Look at my horse, Arthur! Look at him!" You said in excitement as you nudged the man to look back out the saloon window again to view your Dutch warmblood that you bought moments before you guys arrived here. The stallion was tied right next to Arthur's horse.
You were really excited for this purchase after losing your last horse to some thugs.
"I see him, Y/N. He's gorgeous. Now, can we just enjoy our time here together and talk about other things?" Arthur asked, exasperated by your constant nagging of your horse. Yes, he was happy for you. Yes, he did help you pick out that horse. And yes, you guys were here to celebrate for that.
However, he wished you guys would talk about something else. Something more important.
"Fine. I'll get us some more drinks." You said while patting his shoulder and getting up from your table beside the window. Arthur listened as your steps walked away, but he couldn't tear his gaze away from the window.
He was too deep in thought.
His eyes lazily watched as people, horses, and wagons made their way down the muddy road. Arthur thought of you and your smile, how it warmed his heart. He didn't want to take advantage, but when your old horse passed, he jumped on the opportunity to help you get a new one. Arthur had hoped that it would pass you some hints, but you were too excited to notice how happy he was to help you. The outlaw sighed through his nose, resting his head on his to keep watching out the window while waiting for you.
But when the clock kept ticking, he began to wonder where you went.
Arthur turned over his shoulder to look up at the bar. You were there, still getting drinks from the barkeep, but there was another man with you.
Too close to you.
Arthur squinted his eyes and tightened his jaw as he watched this guy talk to you. Whatever he was saying was causing you to go red in the face as you clutched two glasses of something to bring over to you guys. Now, Arthur isn't the king of reading social cues, but from your white knuckles and averted eye contact, he was beginning to see that you were uncomfortable.
At that point, an ugly feeling began to blossom in his chest. Arthur didn't know really what compelled it, but he couldn't stop himself from getting up and coming over to intervene.
"C'mon, just one night-"
"Hello Y/N." Arthur's deep voice interrupted the man as the taller man came by your side.
“Is that guy bothering you?” He asked, an irritated tone in his voice despite the smile he forced on his face. The slightly drunken man looked between you and Arthur, a bit unerved. You avoided eye contact before nodding a bit, a slight smile on your face.
"I get it. I get it. I'll leave 'em alone." He said before walking away. Arthur rolled his shoulders in a tough manner before turning to you, nodding his thanks after you handed him his drink.
"Thanks, but I must say Arthur...green isn't your color." You said with a bit of a laugh. Confused, Arthur looked down at himself.
"I ain't wearing no...oh...I wasn't jealous or anythin' like that, so don't even start." Arthur directed his words with a point of his finger at you, his cheeks burning with the realization that you were right.
But he would never tell you that.
"Sure...that was just a completely normal reaction." You said while nodding and he turned his head quick to look at you.
"I was lookin' out for you." He defended himself and you smirked.
"Mhm." You hummed and he just went to walk back to the table you guys were at, face burning. You followed him, smiling to yourself knowing that he was a bit jealous.
"Let's just talk about your horse." He mumbled while looking outside. You casually folded your arms while sitting on the other side, occasionally sipping your drink here and there.
"I thought you wanted to talk about something else." You teased him and Arthur huffed, taking an aggressive swig of his drink.
"Not anymore..." He mumbled and you laughed despite the upset look on his face. Seeing how miserable he started to look at this, you did oblige his request and start talking about your beloved stallion.
But it fell on deaf ears.
Arthur was still mortified over the situation that just happened. He's never been jealous over anyone before, but to be caught is even worse. That said, your laughter (even at his expense) was something he enjoyed to hear. And your voice...he began to smile in spite of himself.
Perhaps one day he'll speak his mind.
"My horse needs a name Arthur...want to help me think of one?"
But not today.
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fallingintolife · 1 year
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Mother Knows Best
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Request: hi, i'm the anon that requested the sam winchester shopping fic ft dean! i hope you don't mind me requesting another sam one lol ( i don't see a lot of sam ones tbh so when i saw that you write for sam too i got excited :'D ) could the reader be a hunter that ran away from home because they have a narcissistic / manipulative mother ( kind of like mother gothel from tangled ) and started traveling with sam and dean because they felt safe with them , as well as dating sam ? one day while being out it turns out the reader's mother was in the same town , looking for them to try and bring them back home , and reader gets all scared because they don't want to go back which sam and dean notice just some good old fashion angst and hurt / comfort :)
Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader
Warnings: Abusive mother, panic attack description
Summary: Dean said it best, "Monsters I get. People are crazy!"
Word Count: 1,875
A/N: Let me start off by saying I am so so so so so sorry this took as long as it did for me to post! I really have enjoyed writing on this prompt unfortunately life just got in the way but I hope that you do end up seeing this and reading it. I do hope that it was worth the wait...
Sending love 💕, hugs 🥰, and positive vibes ✨
When it came to being a hunter, there were a few unspoken rules. One of them being that no one asked anyone about their past; such as: how they got into hunting or any personal questions period. So when Sam met you while doing research in a public library for a hunt, which you helped solve, none of those questions were asked. Of course they made sure to test you to make sure you weren't a werewolf or demon or any other monster but after all the tests were negative you came along with them on hunts. At first you stayed in the motel room next door, but after a couple months you stayed with the boys in their room.
You'd been with the boys for eight months now, dating Sam for four of them. Even though Sam and Dean didn't ask you about your past they both had noticed different little habits that you did that showed them that your life wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. Sam noticed that you hated giving your opinion or making any decisions. Dean noticed that any time he would yell or even just raise his voice in the slightest you would go into a complete panic. Noises in general seemed to send you into high alert. You were also very timid, not just in public but even still with them to an extent. And touching. You didn't like to be touched. Dean had gone to ruffle your hair once but after he saw you flinch and even braced for, what he assumed was for him to hit you…they avoided touching you. After that Sam let you initiate any kind of touch or affection that you wanted. He had gathered that you must have been in an abusive relationship at some point in your life and that maybe you were running away from them when they found you.
You were starting to open up some though. Sam was really happy to see you for you. He got to see what movies you liked and what kind of books you liked to read, and also just hear you talk about anything and everything.
You loved being with the boys. Even though the hunting itself was scary, living the hunter lifestyle was somehow better than your life before. You didn't remember a lot from when you were young growing up. (probably because your mind thought it was too much and too traumatic…) It had always just been you and your mom. She always hated you. You didn't know why, she simply just did. That was how it had always been. She knew how to cut you down in a second, how to quickly make you doubt yourself, and shit was she a master at guilting you! She knew you; all of your weaknesses and she used them against you anyway and any time she wanted.
The day you had run away was when you realized she had taken all the money you had hidden away and she had found it and spent it; all of it. She has ransacked your room looking for money and when you confronted her about it she didn't apologize, (which part of you knew she wouldn't, she never had before) she actually turned the tables on you, gaslighting you up, and playing the victim. For whatever reason that was when you had clarity: she was a narcissist and no matter what you did it would never be enough. So you ran. Now, eight months later you were traveling with the Winchester's helping on hunts.
You hadn't even been hunting, or rather researching, for long but when they saw you as an asset they let you come along with them. (After some begging and pleading and then the promise of taking them to the best diner in the city…) Sam intimidated you at first but then you realize that he was just a sweet/awkward/loveable goofball. Dean was also very caring towards you. They both made you feel safe, but Sam was your safe place.
Sam had always been so patient and understanding since you both had first met. Sam didn't ask questions or say that you were overreacting or being a drama queen when you would start to panic about something, he would just calmly apologize (which in itself was always quite startling since your mom had never done that once in her life…) and help you calm down. Sam never made you feel like you were a burden or too much, he and Dean on many occasions, would remind you that you were none of those things and they were happy that you decided to travel with them.
You and the boys were on your way back to Bobby's after a hunt when Dean stopped at a diner for lunch.
"Dean, you realize every diner is going to advertise they have the best pie." Sam stated as he rolled his eyes. You tried to hide your laughter, as you hid your face in his jacket.
"Yes and as a pie expert Sammy it's my job to find the best one." Grinning back at Sam, Dean went to the hostess so they could be seated. Just as you were about to joke with Sam was when you saw her. You froze. How did she know you were here? Had she been following you? No no no. This couldn't be happening…
Sam immediately felt you tense. He looked down at you puzzled, when he saw the look in your eyes. Terror and fear. Was there a monster in here? Or…was the person that caused you so much trauma here?
"Y/N?" He felt you tremble against him when you spoke his name but your eyes remained locked on whatever was the cause of your current state. "It's okay baby I've got you. I'm right here. You're safe." Speaking softly to you, he gently wrapped his arms around your back hugging you to him. Your entire body was quaking underneath him. He needed to get you out of here; now.
"Hey love birds, come on table's re-" Dean stopped sentence when he saw you both. His hunter instincts kicked in immediately. He followed your locked gaze to see a woman staring back at you. Dean walked back over to the two of you while looking at Sam.
"I don't know, I just want to get her back to the car." Dean nodded as they all got back in the Impala, this time Sam with you in the backseat.
You knew the boys were talking about you, about wherever had just happened and what to do next but it sounded like they were underwater. Your chest felt like it was being crushed by an anvil and your vision was really fuzzy…
"Y/N!" You tried to focus as you looked up at Sam. He was talking to you, or at least you thought he was because you could see his lips moving. You squinted trying to read his lips, "Breathe. I need you to breathe baby." Oh. You were having a panic attack. You put your head against his chest as you tried to breathe in sync with him. After what felt like hours you began to crash from your adrenaline rush wearing off.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry Sammy. I don't- I don't know how she found me. My fault…it's my fault." You mumbled, eyes closing before you could hear Sam ask what you were talking about.
Sam had just gotten you into the motel room that Dean had found just two minutes down the road. You had been in a full panic in the car, having one of the worst panic attacks he had seen you have in a long time. When Sam noticed you were about to pass out was when Dean made the decision to drive to the motel. Just as Sam tucked you in was when Dean walked in.
"She okay?" Shaking his head as he recklessly ran his fingers through his hair, Sam began to pace.
"I don't know. I've never seen her react like that Dean, never. And she, she was apologizing about someone finding her?" Dean walked over and led Sam back to the bed.
"We'll figure this out, okay? She's gonna be okay Sammy." Sam nodded, laying down next to you and hoping Dean was right.
After a couple hours you woke up with a start, sitting straight up.
"Whoa, whoa! It's just me Y/N! It's Sammy." When you heard Sam's voice you immediately leaned into him for comfort as you took in your surroundings. "We're at a motel." You nodded, relaxing a bit. Dean was sitting on the bed watching a western, after twenty minutes went by when you finally spoke.
"My mom. My mom was who…who I saw in the diner." You admitted quietly, playing with your fingers you were more starting down at. Dean raised an eyebrow.
"Your mom was who scared you?" You nodded, still staring at your fingers. Sam gently rubbed circles on your back as he softly whispered, "It's okay. You're safe. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." A few minutes of silence went by when you gathered up the courage to speak.
"When I met Sam in the library, I was doing research about demons. Not because I was a hunter but because I thought, well…kind of…God this sounds awful." A bitter laugh left your lips as you shook your head, tears steadily fell down your cheeks. "I had run into hunters before, heard my share of stories about demons and so I was hoping there was something I missed, something that I didn't test on her right because there was no way she wasn't a demon. I mean who could just treat their child so, so awful unless they were a demon?"
Shit. Sam and Dean had both had it all wrong. You weren't running from an abusive boyfriend. You were running from your abusive mom. Sam pulled you into his chest holding you tightly against him as he tried to calm you.
"I'm so sorry Y/N. I'm so sorry." He whispered.
Dean just shook his head in disgust.
"I've said it once and I'll say it again: demons, hell even monsters I get! But people," He shook his head as he laughed bitterly. "People are crazy."
An hour went by before everyone seemed to settle when you sat up and began to speak.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys from the beginning about what was going on…"
"Hey, there is nothing to apologize for. You didn't have to tell us anything." Shushing you, Sam pulled you back into his lap, gently placing your hair behind your ear.
"Sam's right. Look, whatever happened is in the past. You've got us now." You looked from Dean to Sam confused.
"You mean…you want me to stay?" Sam looked at you befuddled before his face softened.
"Of course, but only if you want to." A smile slowly grew on your face.
"Yes. I most definitely want to." You wrapped your arms around him. Like Bobby had always said, "Family don't end in blood." And these boys, they were your family.
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sakuralovespossums · 1 month
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Nikolai Gogol x Autistic Reader
(Because I haven’t been able to find any goddammit)
(Also I’ll be going off of my own autistic traits/experiences)
Warning: this is Nikolai, so expect gore, violence, and morbid thoughts
I feel like Nikolai wouldn’t really know much about autism or being neurodivergent. He’ll prbly go to Fyodor to learn more.
But he does know that you have certain interests, traits, dislikes, and ways of seeing things and thinking that differs from the most other people.
He loves that about you!
He likes to watch you stim and finds it funny and cute.
He’ll then join in cause it looks like fun!
Considering he already moves around a lot whenever he’s excited, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out he’s also on the spectrum.
Nikolai values freedom from physical/human constraints. So I feel like he might pity you for your aversions to certain textures, smells, foods, etc.
He can’t imagine how hellish it must be to imprisoned by all these overbearing stimulations.
If only he could shed you of your human body so that you can finally be free from all it all!
He’ll be more upset when he hears about any past negative experiences you may have had with ableist people and societal expectations.
Nikolai HATES being forced to conform!!! How dare they try to snap your wings!!
He’ll prbly teleport off somewhere to go torture/kill some random unlucky person to let out his anger.
Will casually describe his recent killings and tortures of his targets in the DOA to you with his upbeat demeanor. He might even show you pictures!
“This one’s one of my favorites!!! It almost looks like spaghetti noodles, doesn’t it?!”
It’s a picture of a government official having his brain pulled out through his nose.
If it makes you uncomfortable, he’d prbly find your discomfort odd but stop.
Since you tell him a lot about your hyperfixations and special interests, he likes to describe his disturbing knowledge on the human body and all the creative ways to kill and harm them.
Man will randomly bite you like a dog. Have you seen those teeth?
Nikolai would definitely pick you up and toss you around in and out of his cape portal like a toy, if you happen to be short.
Hell, he’ll do it regardless of your height. He’s already taller than everyone.
Sure, you can touch his hair! Just don’t pull or he’ll bite your fingers off, hehehe!!
………………….
When your having a sensory overload/panic attack, he’ll immediately notice and teleport you both out of there to a much quieter place.
Nikolai means well and does like you, but he’s also a rather twisted clown who likes engaging in dangerous “games”
“Hey y/n!!! Wanna play this quiz where every time you lose, you have to stick a needle under a toenail?!”
“What?! You don’t?! That’s too bad! Aw well, maybe next time!”
Nikolai holds a deep resentment towards you for tying him down with human emotions and desires (love, patience, etc) and wants to kill you so that he can free himself.
There have been numerous times where he almost goes through with killing you in some brutal way. Yet he always stops at the very last moment since he can’t bring himself to do it.
Random headcanon: Nikolai would be a huge fan of the Saw and Terrifier movies
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bisexual-horror-fan · 9 months
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Ugh it’s really late at night where I am and I can’t sleep and it just popped into my mind that I’m low-key terrified and excited to see what you’re gonna do with the third part of your Mickey-Randy fic. Is Mickey gonna go through with killing him? How will reader react if he does? Will she find out it’s Mickey? WILL MICKEY GET WHAT HE WANTS?
You best believe the moment you post it I’m locking myself in a dark ass room and telling my boyfriend to leave me tf alone for 3-5 business days
Well! I had the past two days off and I finished up this! For those who haven’t read part one or two of this trilogy I would recc that you do! Seriously, I never thought I would love doing this so much but I did! Massive shout out to @applesontheground for going over this and betaing pre-posting! Now then, I don’t wanna waste much time, I just wanna dive in and get deep! The long awaited conclusion of this trilogy is here! Let’s get deep in the paint!
Rating. Explicit. Length. 6.5K. Mickey Altieri And Randy Meeks X FEM! AFAB! Reader. She/Her Pronouns. Warnings: So Much Context Needed. Threesomes. Sloppy Seconds. Cuckholding. Semi-Public Sex. Blow Job. Throat Fucking. Gagging. Stalking. Murder Plot. Murder. Blood. Gore. Angst. Hurt. Comfort. Death. Grief. Vaginal Sex. Kissing. Confessions Of Feelings. Manipulation. 
You Need Me Like I Need You.
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When did shit, namely, his life, get this fucking complicated? 
He used to think that sex was pretty straight forward, that he had a good handle on himself, his interests and personal sexuality, even before he brought anyone else into the equation but now all the lines are blurred and muddy. He never knew that it could all be so varied, which seems fucking stupid now. The human experience has untold and truly vast depth, of course sex, something that has existed as long as people themselves have existed, has a million different ways to explore, play with and partake in and Randy had been confronted with all that, thrown headfirst into it with almost no preparation. 
Randy has experienced impossibly high highs and some true lows, the emotional roller coaster of it all was a lot to handle but also, shamefully, addicting as hell. 
He didn’t know that there could be so much sexual enjoyment derived from such typically and previously negatively associated feeling, particularly, humiliation. He had experienced plenty of humiliation over the years and it always, well, fucking sucked but for some reason, when it cropped up again from that tape and subsequent threesomes with Mickey, it made his heart race in a different way, a much better, albeit, confusing way. 
When he first was confronted with that tape he was a mess, when you eventually pulled out what was wrong he was still a total mess, and during that first threesome, he was even more of one. Mickey was an almost intolerable asshole but he had to admit, the things he did to you, the view and picture you both provided him, undeniably hot, much better than any bargain basement dumpster porn tape he ever watched by far. He hated that every boundary he tried to lay down, like Mickey wearing a condom, was ignored. Even further, the disrespecting of said boundaries were usually encouraged by you, as you seemingly craved it too. The shared wants between you and Mickey took precedence over his comfort and boundaries, he certainly didn’t do much to dissuade you both when he let it keep happening, especially when the evidence of how hard it made him was clear as day.
And the rules Mickey did agree to? It turns out he was lying, placating Randy to gain consent and access to you to then do what he wanted in the end. The worst of the worst is that when Randy had you afterwards, totally messy and stuffed with cum, literally subjected to Mickey’s sloppy seconds. It felt so fucking good that he couldn’t bring himself to have a single negative thing to say, any complaints die on his tongue as he buries his face into your neck and himself inside you to the hilt. 
Mickey said he would pull out, Mickey was apparently a fucking liar and when Randy was on his back afterwards, sweat slick and panting, still dizzy and high off the hardest orgasm he had in recent memory, he wanted to fucking thank the guy for making him do this and see how good it was. He would never actually thank him, Mickey’s ego was already approaching the size of a supernova from this situation as it was, he is sure if he thanked him for cumming in you when he asked him not to? He cannot imagine how much worse he would become. It doesn’t matter that true the experience was fucking great, the ignoring of his consent was screwed up, thanking him further sends the wrong message. 
So Randy put up with Mickey’s comments and overall attitude, he says he puts up with, but really he enjoys it, mostly secretly, he downplays his enjoyment but that damn knowing smirk of Mickey’s makes him think he isn’t as good an actor as he wants to be. 
This has been going on for a month. 
A glorious, confusion littered, fuck centered, sweat soaked and embarrassment filled month. In the moment and with his dick in his hand it is easier to take, he gets swept up in how filthy it is, finds himself consumed with your new relationship dynamic constantly. In the quiet moments between doing other things his mind wanders to either your last hookup or what might potentially happen in the next one. 
The last one he keeps on thinking about is a rather risky semi-public hookup, it was late, rushed, in the stairwell leading up to Randy’s apartment. The sight is burned into his mind, Mickey leaning against the wall, his fingers in your hair as he leads you while you are on your knees, blowing him, right in front of Randy. It is all so striking, so clear, as if it is still happening right in front of Randy when he thinks of it, the low light, the way Mickey’s head tips back and rests against the concrete wall. A bead of sweat rolls down the column of his throat, along with the bob of his Adam's apple from a heavy swallow he took after a harsh inhale of air. He hears the quiet moan, the curse that spills out as he rocks his hips to force himself deeper into your mouth, you gag, Mickey laughs breathlessly with that half sideways smirk and then, he looks at him. Mickey’s head no longer rests and instead brown eyes meet blue and that smile grows into an outright sadistic grin as he drives forward harder, more purposefully and the moan you let around the shaft invading your mouth makes Randy ache in his jeans.
Someone speaks to him, asks him a question and it pulls him out of his head, Christ, he wasn’t listening and he is far too hard over his walk down memory lane while stuck in class still. He needs to stop, he fucking hates himself for thinking and feeling like this so often. He especially hates himself for how he couldn’t wait and ended up cumming in that same stairwell a week previous during that hookup he was just pouring over, he has to fight back the urge to cringe thinking about whatever poor sap had to clean that up.  
True, while he is caught up in his head and consumed with all of this often, filled to the brim with negativity more than he’d like to be, things with you had gotten infinitely better. Your sex life together had gotten downright incredible in his opinion, he relishes the time he can be alone just you and himself without Mickey around. It isn’t as dirty as the threesomes you have, it’s softer, sweeter, more intimate and not as intense but he thinks you both need that. He has taken Mickey’s advice to heart and his fingering and oral skills have improved leaps and bounds, he loves when he is able to pull a sound out of you that reminds him of one Mickey has made you gasp out previously.  
He wasn’t sure how long this could or would go on for, it couldn’t last forever but this didn’t have to stop anytime soon, there wasn’t any reason to rush, right? Not when it felt so good and it seemed to be actively bettering and strengthening your relationship as opposed to harming it. So the worries are shoved aside, pushed to the back of his mind, a problem for future him.
Mickey is positively elated over how this has all panned out so far. He knew this stage would be fun, he just didn’t count on how much fun it could be. He got to not only fuck you, he got to humiliate Randy while he did it, being balls deep in you while you were moaning like a total whore and your pathetic cuck of a boyfriend was jerking off to it, making eye contact with the sad little redhead in that moment? Making him truly be confronted with the sight of what he could do to you? My lord, he is sure he will never need viagra when he is fifty plus, he can just recall that memory and be good to go. 
You were just so intoxicating, he thought he had it bad for you before he got to fuck you that first night Randy pissed you off but he was so wrong, it only got worse when he got to know you in the biblical sense. Now that he knows how you sound when he has two fingers angled just right inside of you, or how you feel when you are cumming on him, his interest grew into a full on crush and became infinitely worse. He couldn’t get you out of his head, how could he push it out of his mind or forget such an experience?
You were a delight, a joy to be around, so funny, so filthy and ready, willing and open. You got him, understood him, the sexual compatibility was a massive plus of course but it was more than that. It was the hushed whispers during class of dumb jokes that make you stifle laughter, it was shared lunches, and those times where you and he would end up crashing together post threesome and wake up side by side before Randy did. He knew you felt more for him than you were saying, the moments you would hold his hand when Randy wasn’t around told him that, the way you looked at him, would brighten when seeing him, it all tattled on your true feelings. He was sure of how you felt. 
Christ, he couldn’t wait until he could have you all to himself as opposed to having to carve out these small moments whenever Randy wasn’t hanging off you like he was doing his best impression of a koala bear. 
It was so soon. Mickey could hardly contain himself. The last thing standing between you and him being together is your boyfriend that you were still holding onto for some reason. Clearly it was out of some sense of loyalty, he liked that quality about you. So it means that he has to get rid of him and then you will be able to get with him guilt free, it’s the only thing that makes sense. The single option. 
You are more than worth him doing this, uprooting and changing his whole plan, Nancy had to go. She just did, no way would she understand or be on board, she was just a means to an end really, she bankrolled him sure but it isn’t like he was attached to her. He believed in his motive, in what he wanted but now that he had you, the idea of risking going to jail wasn’t high on his list of to-do’s. Maybe he could keep a low profile, maybe he would be satisfied being with you, having you and quietly killing people to satisfy those parts of himself from time to time. If he did go through with the original plan there is still a chance it might fail. Was he willing to risk even a slight chance of being separated from you? 
He is sure that the high he would get if he could pull it off, kill and spill his guts, blame the violence of movies and not go to jail would be immense, but then that part of his life would be over, that chapter closed. No way he could keep killing. Or, maybe he could, if he could keep getting away with it after that it would be amazing, however if caught that same plea wouldn’t work twice.
Perhaps the real high could be in never, ever getting caught. 
Between that and you, he might be just fine. 
He should feel worse, shouldn’t he? The thought was on his mind as he was cleaning his knife in the sink after putting an end to Nancy, he should feel something, but he just didn’t. Honestly seeing the look of betrayal on her face was priceless, she never would have thought Mickey would do this to her. She sobbed and begged, going on about how could Mickey do this to her, she needed to avenge her “sweet baby boy-” and yeah, he wasn’t going to listen to her go on about that. He didn’t waste much time on her, didn’t linger or monologue or go on and on, he made it relatively painless and pretty quick. 
The important thing is she was gone and now he could focus on killing Randy. 
Unlike his previous and now dead partner, he wanted to make it hurt, he wanted to destroy Randy, make him unrecognisable, but he knew that might not be best. Logical thought doesn't usually win out in these situations however. He hated how Randy took you for granted, he hated how you looked at him, that you insisted on staying together, hated every time he watched you kiss or anything else, he wanted to stab the knife into his chest, pierce his heart and twist. Wanted to watch him gasp, struggle, and bleed. 
He had a good handle on Randy’s schedule because of your arrangement, he is coming back from a late class, going back to his apartment while Mickey follows far enough behind to not alert him, yet. 
Ol’ Randy was so oblivious, he was going to make this way too easy. Mickey felt his anticipation grow with every single step, every heavy footfall makes his mind run with possibility and pure excitement.
He wanted to rush him, tackle him to the ground, end it right here out in the open but that is stupid and way too risky, it still doesn’t stop how his hands itch, he craved to have his knife in his grip, to bury it in something. The urge to penetrate in a violent sense and in a sexual sense are not that different and Mickey finds it so hard to ignore either of those urges. Soon it is just right, soon Randy is unlocking the door to his apartment building and Mickey picks up the pace, he runs forward, he timed it just right, the door opens and he knocks into Randy, causing him to stumble into the building with a shocked, “Woah!” 
With him totally off balance Mickey takes the opportunity, hand gripping the collar of his shirt behind his neck, he moves him, comes forward, hauling Randy along, he bursts into the stairwell door in the lobby, that same one that you all hooked up in. He is quickly throwing him with all of his strength against the stairs. It hurts his spine, knocks the wind out of him, he groans feeling slightly dazed and when his eyes open he sees the figure clad in that all too familiar black robe and white mask and his heart drops. Eyes widen and he curses, trying to scramble back on the stairs, “Shit, fuck-”
God he loved that look. Pure and unadulterated terror, totally horrified, there was only one way to make it better, Mickey pulled the knife out, the glint of the blade in the low light flashes over his face, it made Randy’s breath catch. He tried to bolt, tried to turn to launch himself up the stairs, towards the safety of his apartment, away from his would-be attacker and that wasn’t going to happen. Mickey was on him too fast, one hand threads in short red hair and he jerks his head back, making it slam on the concrete, the sound was sickening and it made his struggle so much weaker immediately. Mickey sat on his stomach, knees on either side of him, he took in the view below him. Randy was already bleeding from his head wound, scarlet starting to stain the concrete, holding his own head up weakly, his other hand reaching out, trying to push on Mickey’s torso feebly. 
He enjoyed this immensely. He watches him for a moment before it starts, it’s like the calm before a storm, like in the summer when you can feel a thunderstorm brewing, something in the air telling you what is to come, as if you can feel the electricity threatening to crackle and break though. 
He lingers for only a moment more, he knows he is pushing it, but fuck, he has wanted this for so long and when he started he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop. 
Finally the moment is just right, he raises the knife and there is zero hesitation, it comes down and comes down hard. It embeds into his shoulder first, the air is practically sucked out of Randy, eyes wide, his hand comes up to clutch near the blade but Mickey didn’t take too kindly to that. He twists it and a choked off whimper left Randy and then he yanks the knife up, pulling the blade out, the body below him moving with the force of it, back arching as the struggle to remove steel is won quickly. 
Randy is still trying to hold the wound at his shoulder but the angle is awkward and the pain is blinding, he doesn’t think anything could snap him out of the agony, his mind is running a million miles a second, synapses are firing but not connecting to anything. The urge to flee is strong but how? How can he get out, how can he get away, he is stuck, he hurts so much, what is he going to do? He thought he left all this behind in Woodsboro, he should have been more careful, he knew the threat, the risks, he should have taken that tape more seriously and realised he was being watched probably this entire time since he got said tape. 
It turns out there is one thing that can pull him out of his head and free him enough from the pain to speak, eyes come into focus as the hurt is numbed with what he is seeing. Ghostface is still seated on top of him and the fingers leave his hair, hand comes up and the mask is tugged off to reveal is pseudo sort of fuck buddy or more accurately, YOUR fuck buddy and the cucker to Randy’s cuckee’, Mickey fucking Altieri. 
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Randy wheezed out, a cough that sounded too wet coming out after the words left him, “Mickey?”
“Heya Randy.” He dropped the mask, gloved fingers ran through his own hair as he stared down at the body starting to struggle under him once more. It all comes to Randy at once, the cheating, the tape, the “coincidences”, the dark edges to him, the knowing looks, he is the killer, he is Ghostface. Of course he is. 
“What the fuck? Why-AHH!” Randy yelped as the knife came back down, settling in the other shoulder, he left it there, holding the handle as he said, “Oh why? Meeks wants to know why-” 
Mickey hums and grips the handle harder before starting to twist it slightly, back and forth, digging deeper. Randy is crying now, tears falling down and struggling for breath, “-lots and lots of reasons. I had this whole big motive, this crazy plan, Billy’s mom, you remember Billy’s mom, Nancy Loomis, had found me and brought me here, bankrolled my education while I was meant to do the dirty work-”
Randy could hardly believe what he was hearing over the burning and pulsing pain, Mickey kept talking, “-but thennn, you-” 
Mickey pointed down at Randy with his free hand, “-fucked up. You took your girl for granted and I got to swoop in at that party and our whole whatever the fuck you want to call it started and I realized, I don’t want to share her. I don’t want to follow through on that original plan. I just want her. But she’s-”
He ripped the knife out and Randy half screamed, blood splatters over his robe and the wall and when Randy’s scream subsided he was still holding the knife while he made air quotes as he said “-all “in love with you” for some fucking reason.” 
Mickey shakes his head, “She’s amazing, but man that shit I just do not understand. I mean look at you! No fight at all! Fuck, you are so pathetic. You find out I fucked your girlfriend and you come to my apartment begging me to do it again while you watch?! Who does that?”
He laughs with a shake of his head, “I know as long as you are around she wouldn’t dump you and I couldn’t ask her to, I would come off like a total dick and then she might push me away and end our fun. That can’t happen!”
The exclamation is loud, angry, and violent. The knife comes back down again, in the ribs and Randy’s body jerks, he coughs, blood paints his chin, he wheezes, he thinks his lung might be punctured. Mickey barks out, “Look at me, Meeks.”
Randy’s eyes open half way, he feels woozy, Mickey looks positively manic, he has leaned down closer, still holding that knife handle so tightly, “I’m doing this because it’s the only way I see that she can be all mine. I’m killing you to fix this little problem. I’m going to be there while she grieves, I’m going to be the one to help her pick up the pieces, she’s gonna cling to me and then I’m gonna have her all to myself.” 
Mickey was grinning, “Our little thing was a good time I’ll admit that but I’m ready to move up to the next level, I don’t want to be her classmate, or her friend, I don’t want to be her fuck buddy, I want to be her boyfriend. Not you.” 
Randy is shaking his head, his face is so wet, blood, sweat, drool, tears, he is mouthing something, too weak to talk, Mickey thinks it’s “No” but who cares really. 
“Yeah. It’s gonna happen and there is nothing you can do to stop it.” Mickey said in a condensing tone as he nodded, “You’re going to die, and soon it seems like!” 
Mickey rips the knife out again and Randy jerks once more, nowhere near as strong, “I cannot wait. Not anymore. You should see her when we are alone, the way she looks at me, talks to me, she isn’t yours and hasn’t been for a while. I’m just helping her see it, speeding along the inevitable. She’s mine.”
The silver blade stained red cuts through the air and hits home again, lower this time and a similar reaction is drawn, weaker still, before being pulled out and then it happens again and again. Chest, ribs once more, stomach, stab, cut, rip, tear while repeating that one word over and over again. A quiet chant breathed through gritted teeth on harsh exhales from the sheer amount of exertion and effort, “Mine. Mine. Mine.” 
Randy is dead.
He didn’t get proper last words but Mickey thinks he didn’t deserve them the same way that he didn’t deserve you. Mickey is sure it happened sometime between the seventh and the seventeenth stab but it doesn’t really matter. He stays there for a moment looking down at Randy, body slowly turning cold, bloodstained and eyes lifeless. 
He sits until he is sick of looking at him and then he gets up, the robe and mask are rolled up and put into his bag. He leaves out the back way, the camera is broken on that side of the building so no one can possibly tie him to this. He left with a spring in his step and the bag under his arm and excited for the news to reach him naturally. 
The phone ringing is what wakes him up, he is wiping sleep out of his eyes as he makes his way to the kitchen, he snatches it up off of the bar and brings it up to his ear, “Lo’?” 
It’s you, the voice sounding wrecked, you barely get the words, “Randy’s dead-” before you are sobbing, he lets himself smile. You start trying to talk a mile a minute through your sobs and he listens to you go on for a minute before he cuts in asking you to take a breath before he is apologising, tell you how awful that sounds and as you are sniffing you ask quietly, “Ca-can you come over? I-I don’t wan-want to be alone.” 
 “I’ll be right there.” He assures and you tell him, “Hurry, please-”
He tells you he will be right there. He hangs up, he throws on clothes and finds himself humming on the way to your place. He shows up with coffee and breakfast, it’s stupid early and he isn’t sure when you last ate, he knocks and calls out, before he can get your name out the door is open and you are throwing your arms around his neck. He almost drops the coffee tray in one hand and the take out bag in the other but he keeps a grip on them. Your face is wet and buried in his shirt, body shaking and he says softly, “Oh hey, hey, I’m here.” 
You stand in your doorway for minutes and he doesn’t rush you, he lets you cling to him and God this is already working out so well. 
Once he manages to get you inside he sits with you, he makes sure you eat, he listens, holds the box of tissues while you lament, “I wasn’t allowed to see him but they say it was a massacre, they are talking murder Mickey-”
“Murder? Oh my God!” 
If only you knew. But you never would. 
He barely left your side. You kept asking him to stay, begging him to be close, you told him that he made you feel safe, made this easier to handle, you feared you’d fall apart without him and it made him feel so important. Your grief is intense but he loves how you are like this, how you rely on him even when things are difficult and hard to manage, he loves the desperation. He pokes, he has a small pattern, you are so raw that a small nudge makes your emotions go screwy and when you are in a deep spiral then he helps soothe you, pulls you out of it again and makes sure any positive emotion you feel during this time, no matter how small, is tied to him. 
You are so needy, but he has never felt this needed and my God is it nice to feel needed. 
No serious suspicion is thrown his way. He doesn’t kill anyone else, lets everything calm and die down and a funeral is planned and hosted for Randy over a month after he died. Everyone was just so scared that whoever it was might strike again beforehand. The fear it was Ghostface was present, kept Sidney and everyone else permanently on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop but it seemingly never does and they all have to start moving on sometime. Mickey had to fight hard to keep the act up, but inside there was such power and joy in doing the receiving line of Randy’s family, shaking hands and giving condolences, everyone unaware that he is the reason and cause of his death. He made the right call, abandoning the other plan for this was amazing. He listens as you cry your way through your turn speaking, he knows he is going to be comforting you hard after this and true, right after you finished you come over and he held your hand, giving you the pack of tissues he had in his pocket.
The casket buried, the wake over, he is with you back at his place. You’d been wanting to spend more and more time here, you hadn’t cleared out all the little pieces of Randy from your space yet and you felt like you couldn’t face them today. Your eyes are red from the crying, your nose raw from the tissues used, sitting on his couch, heels kicked off and in your funeral dress still. You aren’t quite as sombre now, he had seen to that, he got your favourite take out just before the place closed, it was near midnight and you actually ate, half empty boxes on the coffee table along with a few empty drink cans. 
You were cradling your current drink in your hand, looking across the couch to him, you were both sitting on the same ends of the couch as before, a mirror of that night months previous that started all this. He was in the middle of telling some story that was making you laugh, the smile on your face was small but steadily growing. “She ended up not even having her wallet after all that.” 
“Holy shit, no way! So then what?” 
“What do you mean what? I sure as shit didn’t pay for her.” He laughed and you said around an amused exhale of your own, “Alright fair, especially after how she treated the cashier yeah fuck her.” 
He takes another pull from his can and you did the same before setting aside with a sigh. You rested your head on the back of the couch as you said, “Thanks for this Mick.”
A questioning hum left him paired with raised eyebrows and you elaborate, “For being here for me. I know I’ve been like a mess, understandably so but a mess all the same. I know dealing with me hasn’t been easy but just…Without your support I dunno how I would have gotten through this.” 
“Oh hey, no need to thank me. That is what a good guy does.” He said easily and you nod, “You really are, you’re so great.”
You reach out, a grabby hand gesture and he fills your need, taking your hand and you sigh. “I feel bad.” 
“For a different reason other than the funeral?” He asked and you laughed a little, “Yeah. I just…I’ve been having these thoughts that make ME feel like I’m a horrible person.”
“What thoughts could you possibly be having to make you feel like that?”  
“I dunno if I should say.” You grumbled and he said, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to but you know you can trust me. I won’t judge you and I sure as shit won’t tell anyone else.” 
You are quiet for a moment before deciding that yes, he is right, you can trust him. You might even feel better getting it out, “I loved Randy. I mean I still love Randy but…All this time I have been spending with you and everything from before, how great you are I’ve been thinking about you more than I should. In ways I probably shouldn’t.” 
He ignores the first half of your sentence, he is sure that would fade in time, he focuses on the second half, “Like how?” 
You give a half shrug and look away, gaze averted and he says your name, stretching it out, he is leaning closer and you steal a glance back at him and say, “Like…” 
The tension is thick, you’ve moved closer throughout the conversation yourself, not so much on the opposite ends of the couch now, almost on the same cushion in the middle of the couch you take a deep breath to steady yourself and you open up. You are already raw and vulnerable, why not go all in? 
“I’ll be in a class I don’t have with you and I feel this huge hole where you should be. I don’t feel like I can do anything properly while away from you, I can’t eat or focus, the weight of everything else crushes me but when you are around I have, fuck, I have hope. I think I can do this, I feel stronger and better, you do that for me!”
He keeps doing what he has for more than a month, he listens, he squeezes your hand harder and he listens to you. 
“I’ll be in bed alone and wish you were with me. My sleep schedule is wrecked but I think I could finally get some good rest with you because I swear to God, if there is one, I only feel safe around you lately.” 
You are speaking so fast now, as if you can’t communicate your intense emotion fast enough until the words stop because your other hand that isn’t in his is on his face, tugging him close to you and kissing him. It starts off hot, deep, needy and he is stunned, it takes a moment to match the energy but he lets you lead it. Fuck he has missed this, missed feeling you against him, you start to slow, he keeps pace, from all consuming open mouthed to soft brushes with laboured breathing and you pull back, “That. I have been thinking the most about doing that.” 
“And that…Makes you feel bad? Cuz it felt pretty good to me.” You laugh from the tone and his expression, the big smile that is so him, you admit, “No that did feel good but I feel bad because my boyfriend has been in the ground for less than twelve hours and I’m on your couch, kissing you and I’ve been thinking about doing it for weeks.” 
You inhale in a way he has come to know far too intimately, that hitch that tattles on you that you are going to cry, you choke out, “How shitty of a person does that make me?” 
He lets go of your hand, his hands are on your cheeks and then tracing down to your neck, thumbs stroke over the line of your jaw and he says, “It doesn’t, hey,  you aren’t a shitty person. You’re my favourite person.” 
Your hands are on his wrists and you shake your head, “I’m pretty sure I am, I-I don’t deserve you, I didn’t deserve Randy either-”
A sniff and he assures further, “No, stop that, you deserve so much. I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t be doing this if you didn’t.”
It is quiet for a moment, you are trying to breathe through it and stop yourself from seriously crying, he knows just the right thing to say, “I know I’m really stupid but I have good taste.” 
You laugh. A nod as you admit, “Okay, you’re right, you do have good taste.” 
“We’re gonna ignore you not disagreeing with me calling myself stupid-” You laugh again harder, “But see! So if I have good taste that means that everything I do for you isn't a mistake, it’s not wasted, you deserve this.”
You look into his eyes and ask a bit more seriously, one of the main worries weighing on you, “Isn’t it too soon?”
It’s his turn to laugh, “What? Do you seriously think Meeks would want you to recognize Victorian mourning customs and mope around in all black for a year?” Another laugh spills out of you at the image, “Why does the timing matter on this? If you want it now, then why not now? What is waiting a few more weeks or months going to do?”
He is right. Why does it matter?
The next thing you ask is, “Am I really your favourite person?” 
“Easily. No contest.” You are still so close to each other, and you decided fuck it, why does it matter? You’ve been through so much, you are desperate and you deserve to feel good and so you give into what you have been craving. 
You kiss him again on the couch. 
Neither of you stay on the couch for very long. 
It comes out while you are in his bed, your dress on the floor and you are under him, arms wrapped around his neck, you feel like you could cry but not for any of the feelings or reasons that you had previously over this past month. You don’t want to sob because you are sad or missing Randy or anything else, you cry because fucking hell you missed this, you needed this, it feels incredible but it’s more than that. You finally realised it a while ago, but now? You are unable to ignore it, can’t hold it inside, the admission is on your tongue and has been threatening to come out between moans for minutes. Rocking with him, feverish kisses placed over the side of his face as you gasp, Mickey’s hands are all over, like he cannot get enough of you, he is buried deep and he hits that spot that makes your whole body want to shudder and at long last it comes out in a rush, overwhelmed and feeling overflows you tell him-
“I love you.”
That makes him slow, not stop, but slow, rolls of his hips are purposeful, the change in angle is fantastic, the pressure and grinding on your clit makes you want to cry all over again. He has one arm under your neck, the other one runs up your side, there is this expression on his face that can only be described as a cross between joyful disbelief and pure affection, brown eyes are warm as he asks, “What did you just say?”
You repeat it, louder, voice more sure, “I said I love you.” A harder thrust, a shared and hushed moan, your nails biting into the skin on the back of his neck, you make yourself maintain eye contact, it’s difficult  but it’s important so you manage, “I am tired of-of feeling it, fuck, and not saying it, I fucking love you.” 
He couldn’t be happier, this was better than he ever could have planned or hoped, better than any dream possible, he leans down, kisses you deeply and you return it. Eyes closed you are close in sensation and the moment, in him. He pulls back, close enough his forehead is touching yours as he breathes back the same sentiment, “I love you too, so fucking much.” 
A broken moan that could be read as the word “really” but he is picking up the pace, quicker, rougher and your hand falls back, a desperate plea of, “Mickey, fuck, don’t stop-”
As if he would ever. 
He did manage to get away with it.
It’s been over a year since Randy’s murder, you are none the wiser and you barely mention Randy anymore. Sure his birthday, his death day and your old anniversary with Meeks was hard but that was understandable and tolerable. 
The main and most important thing is that he had you, after the funeral you and he became official, you kept it on the down low, he insisted he wanted you to be spared the judgement, you were already going through so much and any added stress needed to be stomped out. You and he talked regularly about living together and man was he ever excited for when that could happen. Sure it would make his “hobby”, whenever he picked it back up again, more difficult but fuck it, he loved a good challenge. The itch for murder hasn’t been on his mind in so long, much too happy and concerned with you, wrapped up in your relationship but he was feeling that need wriggling in the back of his brain, he can ignore it for the time being. He got away with it and he has you, life is good.
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mintmatcha · 1 year
Note
baby daddy touya is such a hypocrite omg ?
“strange men around my daughter” U DO STRANGE JOBS FOR MONEY SIR. i’ll want to slap him so hard
"You're really going out with him again?"
Touya stands in the doorway to your bedroom, hands on his hips.
"We aren't doing this again," you say as you fasten your earring unto place, completely your date night attire. Touya is man enough to admit that he's jealous to see you like this, dolled up for someone that isn't him, excited for a night without him or your daughter. "He's a good guy and he's taking me to a nice place, so I don't see a reason not to go. You are not going to stop me."
Touya wants to launch into his usual speech about how you don't care about him or the family, but he knows it's a lost cause at this point. You're going on that goddamn date, hell or high water.
But hopefully, he can stop any after date shenanigans.
"He better not be staying the night."
"Touya! I-I am an adult woman," you stammer over yourself, "It's not any of your business if I decide to have a guest sleep on the couch-"
"Oh, fuck off," Touya groans, "Sleep on the couch, my ass."
"I'm being serious!"
"I slept on the couch last month, remember?" he says, "And then I bought you a pregnancy test two weeks later."
"Todoroki Touya!"
You slept his arm as hard as you can and he recoils with a sharp intake, air hissing through his teeth. "Motherfucker, don't get mad at me- it was negative! If you could just take birth control correctly, we-"
The doorbell rings. You take a step back, flustered, and grab for you coat. Touya is still blocking the doorway with his body, that gleam in his eye melting into something more genuine and sad.
"He's here, I gotta go," you slip your arms through the sleeves of your jacket, "I'll be back before the last train."
"Without the guy, right?"
You sigh, slipping under his arm into the hall. "Touya, can you just let him in for me while I say goodbye to Rei?"
You both begrudgingly part, you towards the back of the apartment, Touya towards the front. There's feelings there, Touya knows that. This is just some feeble attempt to distance yourself from him.
It's hard to be in love with him-- he knows that. He knows it's hard to trust him when there's been so many failures in the past, to hold someone who's so focused on self destruction that they might bring you down with them one day.
But, fuck, it stings to see the consequences of his mistakes.
"You know, I don't like the idea of some stranger in my mama's house-" Touya shouts over his shoulder back to you as he flings open the door, not even giving the man in question the dignity of looking him in the eyes.
"Aw, don't be like that," a eerily familiar voice says. Touya slowly turns back around to face him, eyes narrowed in disgusted recognition. The blonde has his hands tucked into the pockets of his signature bomber jacket with a smug little smirk. "I'm not really a stranger, am I, Dabi?"
Keigo Takami, a ghost from a life he tried to leave behind, stands at your door with an awfully placid expression.
"What the fuck are you doing here, Hawks?" Touya steps into him, chest to chest, face to face, voice too low to carry into the home, "I should fucking kill you for even-"
"Calm down, calm down!" Keigo -Hawks to people in the know- laughs, patting Touya's chest with a saccharine affection, "I'm just here to give you a friendly reminder."
"Really? A reminder?" he scoffs, "Like I could forget your ugly ass."
Keigo sobers immediately, eyes flat and affectation-less. Touya can hear your heels against the hardwood as you approach, clearly unaware for the scene awaiting you. "A reminder that we know what's important to you and where they live.
Three dates. You went on three dates with this 'good guy'-
-completely unaware he's the danger you've been trying to avoid.
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novankenn · 1 month
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Unbreakable Machine Arcs (1)
(This is a rewrite of a story I posted on FF.net)
Nora lay upon her bedroll the night before initiation. Beside her, Ren lay, already deep asleep. Sleep evaded her at that moment. She was excited to finally be at Beacon with her best of buds. Of course, she was also excited about what adventure initiation would bring, but there was something else. The memory of a kind family that had taken them in this past year. She could almost smell the pancakes Jasmine made each morning. She could hear the hearty laughter of Nathaniel as he sat there surrounded by his family.
It would be true to say she missed them, and she figured Ren did too. They had done so much for the pair, it was almost unfathomable. She reached over her head and into the outside pocket of her pack sack. After a couple of minutes of fumbling, she found it and pulled it free of the other odds and ends that filled the pocket. Opening her hand, she placed the small articulated figurine upon her stomach. It had been a gift, a special present from Nathaniel to her. Taking a chance to raise her head up, she glanced about to make sure no one was watching. Satisfied, she lay back down and focused her full attention on the figurine. Cupping her hands around the present, she took a deep and slow breath. Holding it for a few seconds before letting it free, just as slowly as she had taken it.
“Right arm.” she whispered. The figurine responded and slowly raised its right arm above its head.
“Left arm.” she whispered again, achieving the same result. She smiled, happy with the small success.
“Spin.” she whispered through her grin, and before her eyes the delicate figure twirled like a ballerina upon its stand. Hearing a noise to her left she cupped her hands over the spinning toy ceasing its motion. She remembered his words of warning, people could and would often take this ability of hers in a negative light.
“Gone are the days of the puppeteer.” he had said, “we've been replaced by the hunter and huntress.”
Remembering his soft voice returned the smile to her lips, and brought back another memory, another memory; one of the two who wanted to be with her. Two who wanted to see the world, and be at her side. Those thoughts caused her smile to wane and then end.
“I hope they’re okay.” Nora whispered to herself, and was a little startled when Ren answered her.
“I’m sure they’re fine, Nora.” Ren whispered to her, as he turned his head to face her. “They’re probably arguing with each other about something trivial, like they always did.”
“Probably.” Nora responded, “But they looked so… so sad when we told them we would be leaving, and coming to Beacon.”
“I know, bur as much as they wanted to come with us… as much as I would have enjoyed them being at our side… you know why they couldn’t.”
“I know.” Nora mumbled. “I just wish…”
“I know you do. But we will see them again.”
“We will?”
“There are holidays and term breaks. We’ll make sure to go back to Ansel on every one of them.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.” Ren replied, as he reached over and gave Nora’s wrist a friendly squeeze. “We have a long day tomorrow. Try and get some sleep.”
Nora just nodded, and watched as Ren rolled away from her. She sighed as she closed her eyes. Her final waking thoughts of them.
/==/
In the darkness and mists of the Emerald forest, a pair of blond haired figures drudge through the foliage and undergrowth. Behind them, the disintegrating form of an Ursa.
“How much longer?”
“A few hours, I think.”
“You said that a few hours ago. So what makes you correct this time?”
“Because we can see the tower!”
“And how do you know that is the right tower? That could be a completely different tower.”
“Really? Really? How can that be anything but Beacon?”
“It could be Shade’s tower, or Atlas’s”
“We didn’t get that lost, to have had to cross an ocean or the desert.”
“So you ADMIT IT! We were lost!”
“Of course we were! You dropped the map in a RIVER!”
“No I didn’t.”
“Yes you did!”
“No I didn’t!”
The pair of blonds continued to argue, totally clueless to the closing of an Ursa. It was drawn in by their annoyance, and anger, in addition to the loud voices they were arguing in.
/== Table of Contents ==/
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charmedreincarnation · 11 months
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The painter and their dream
Life is a canvas, and we are the artist. With each passing day, we choose what colors to use, what shapes to create - ultimately, each one of us has the power to paint our own reality.
Meet Georgina. Georgina is a dreamer. She never stops visualizing her future; the colors she wants to use are not just a figment of her imagination, but an intentional design she puts into practice every single day.
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Georgina knows what she needs to manifest her ideal future: perseverance, creativity, and sheer willpower. She uses each one of those elements to build the life she desires, turning the abstracts into concrete results.
Whether she’s pursuing her dreams of being a fashion designer or planning an exciting holiday, Georgina applies all of her skills and resources to make it happen. She sees her actions as brush strokes in a painting that she hopes to be proud of in due course.
Being a dreamer isn’t easy. People don’t often understand why Georgina is putting in the effort when the outcome isn't always guaranteed; however, she refuses to give up on what matters to her. She holds onto the moments when her vision becomes tangible; these moments give her the strength to keep going.
Rather than giving into the fear of failure and disappointment, Georgina boldly focuses on the beauty of the present, and continues creating her masterpiece. Her journey is something to be admired, and we are all witnesses of her creative endeavors.
At the end of the day, we are all dreamers who paint our reality as we go. Life is our canvas, and we have the power to bring our dreams to life if we believe in them enough.
As the iconic American painter Edward Hopper once said, “If you could say it in words, there would be no need for the painting.” This quote gives us an insight into why painting is so powerful—it is a way of conveying what cannot be said in words.
This analogy can be applied to reality itself—the canvas of our lives is blank and ready to be painted each day, with our beliefs and choices about how we live making up our reality. The issue with that is that many of us remain unaware that we have power to create our own reality.
Instead of painting our reality by creating positive beliefs, and taking conscious ownership of what we create, we often succumb to negative thought patterns that paint a reality full of stress and anxiety. On the contrary, when we take ownership of our reality, we become aware of the paintbrush that we have always had in our hands. We can choose to paint a beautiful life—one full of love, wealth,beauty, and joy—if we develop an understanding of how our thoughts and choices manifest in our outer world.
Ultimately, it is our responsibility to take ownership of our reality and to realize that we can paint whatever picture we choose with our thoughts and actions. And although our painting may have blips and blotches along the way, we must always remember that we have the power to choose how our lives look. By letting go of limiting beliefs, and learning how to utilize the power of positive thought, we can ultimately choose to paint a reality filled with optimism, openness and opportunity.
What we think, we become'? Well, I believe it to be true. It's like what Edward Art said, “You are the painter of your own reality. You choose the colors and you decide where each one will go.”
Our reality is like an empty canvas. It's up to you to put down the paint and decide what you want it to look like. Just like a painter takes time creating a beautiful piece of art, we too can take the time to create what we want our lives to look like. It's about becoming aware of what you're creating and acknowledging that you have the power to do so.
So, take a step back. Find some peace and quiet and ask yourself what your reality looks like. Really take a look around and observe your environment. Is it how you want it to manifest in your life? If it's not, take the necessary steps to make changes. Focus on the future that you can create.
Think of it as a puzzle that you have all the pieces to. You have full control over your energy and the thoughts and beliefs that you carry with you. Visualize how the pieces will fit together to create the life that you want. Who knows, you might even surprise yourself with what you can create.
Once you become comfortable in taking charge of your life and shaping it into what you desire, it can become quite enjoyable. Enjoy every step of the process. Take small strides and be patient. Feel mindful energy and set intentions for how your life should unfold.
When self-awareness kicks in, you'll realize that you're in control of creating your life, just like a painter creates his art with a brush and canvas.You will rightly embody your thoughts, but choose them wisely because you have full power and control over your life." This is your own special work of art called life, so live it vibrantly. You deserve to create the beautiful art of what we call this life so why not paint.
I will leave you with one last quote from Edward Hopper: “Someday everything will be beautiful.” He believed in the beauty of possibility—that with the right mindset, anything is possible. So let’s take ownership of our reality and use our paint brushes to create our beautiful painting.
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inkrabbit · 1 year
Note
Idk If I'am too late but could i request a angst/fluff where sodo comes back fron tour and the reader is insecure about herself and what sodo did while he was away. With a good fluffy ending pls :)
Love your writing ♥️
It’s times like these when you truly hated being alone. Where every single thought would rush through your mind, the voices inside your head saying all of these awful things that made you question your entire life. Every decision you’ve made and everything you’ve ever said.
Sodo would normally come up behind you whenever you got like this. He’d take you into his arms, softly shush you as he would kiss your face. He would sit down with you in his lap and he would tell you everything he loved about you while softly caressing your face.
You try to think back to those times. What he would say to make you feel better. But those voices start to attack your treasured memories.
Do you think he still feels that way when he’s on tour?
He never seems that upset about leaving you. There’s probably a reason why.
He’s always so tired when he gets back. It’s probably more than just touring.
There are so many fans that would happily spend a night with him. Do you really think he would be happy with only you?
So when the day came that the group was coming home, you couldn’t bring yourself to be excited. You didn’t spend your time in his room like you normally did whenever he left. Instead, you hid in your own room, trying to drown out the negative voices in your head. You hid away under the covers, even when you knew the bus would be arriving at any moment.
You think back to all the times Sodo’s come home before. How he would be one of the first ones off the bus so he could pick you up and give you that hungry kiss. He would tell you how much he missed you, and you remembered the one time Copia had come to split you two up, only to have the fire ghoul growl at him.
But as you lay in your bed, you wondered if that was all just an act. If he just kept up that excited front so you weren’t suspicious of him. You weren’t stupid. You had seen the videos of how sexual he acted on stage. You wondered if it extended beyond that. You wondered if he brought fans back to his dressing room. If he would pick people up after the shows. He always did say how stressful some of the rituals could be. Would he have people go back with him to relieve that stress?
Your bury yourself deeper within your blankets, hoping that if you get far enough inside that your thoughts will leave. But they don’t. All you can think about is Sodo in the arms of someone other than you. And really, it’s enough to make the tears finally run down your face.
When your door opens, the smell of campfire hits you and you hear boots thump across the floor. You know who it is and you don’t want to see him.
“Where’s my baby, huh?” Sodo calls out, like this is all a game. Like you’re enjoying hiding from him. You hear him unlace his boots as he continues, “I’ve been away all this time and I don’t get a hello hug or kiss from my girl?” You hear him get closer as he slips out of his boots, your bed dipping down as he crawls on top. “I’ve been so lonely while on tour, and my room was all empty when I got in there. Where is my girl hiding?”
“Go away.” Your voice cracks that little bit as you sniffle, burying your face in the comforter. He stops for a second.
“Hey, hey. What’s going on?” His tone changes to a more concerned one and you feel him try to peel back the covers. “Baby girl, look at me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Just go away, Sodo.” When he can’t take the covers from you, he simply reaches out and moves you so that you’re on your back and looking at him. The comforter makes you turn at an odd angle, but your tear-stained face is still facing him. You see how soft his features look, a gentle hand coming up to wipe your tears away.
“What’s got you upset?” You pull away from his touch, moving yourself up and putting more space between you two. “Babe?”
You don’t want to respond, the knot in your throat keeping you silent. You know you’ll start crying again if you open your mouth. You suppose he notices it too, reaching out to wrap his arms around you and pulling you to his chest. Your attempt to get away only lasts for so long before you break down, burying your face in his neck.
“It’s okay. I got you,” he coos softly, rubbing your back. He lets you have a moment to try against him before he tries again. “Talk to me, won’t you? What’s got you upset?”
“You!” It’s such a vague response, one that takes your fire ghoul by surprise.
“Me?” he parrots back with his brows furrowed. “What did I do?! I just got home from tour and I managed to do something?” It takes him that beat of silence to realize as you hiccup another sob. The bewildered expression melts away, being replaced with a more somber look. “What do you think, huh? What’s that mind of yours been tellin’ you?”
“That you don’t care about me.” Still, it’s not the real truth, but it’s all you can get out before another hiccup escapes you. Sodo gently cups your face, wiping away your tears again as he softly shushes you.
“Of course I care about you.” He takes a second, inhaling softly and letting out a small hum. “You’re worried about my loyalty to you?” You nod. “Sweetheart, you know that’s something you don’t have to worry about.”
“But I do!” you fire back. “Look at me and then look at you! You really think I wouldn’t be worried? Everyone loves you!”
He lets out a soft, amused huff. “Sweetheart, I have been lookin’ at you. And I wish you could see just exactly what I see.” He leans forward, hesitating just a bit. When you don’t move back, he presses a soft kiss to your lips. “If anything, I should be the one worried you’ll find someone while I’m on tour. Have you seen how the siblings look at you?” You feel the tip of his tail start to tap on your bed, a harsh thumping that’s a stark contrast to the smile on his face. You assume the thought of it is upsetting him.
“I just get worried,” you tell him softly, your crying having finally subsided.
“I know, baby. I do, too.” He presses another kiss to your lips. “How about I go take a quick shower, and when I come back, you can tell me all the nasty things your mind has been lying about?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”
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warsplosion · 7 months
Text
remaking my other army of the doomstar review post now that im home, just a warning this is gonna be a lot more in depth then my last one was.
if it wasnt obvious, AOTD spoilers ahead
I just finished my 3rd rewatch of AOTD, and i have a lot of thoughts. overall, yes, this is my new favorite movie, but no, i dont think it lived up to my expectations. this isnt anything against brendon, as its HIS STORY, yes HIS. it wasnt made for me and never will be! i have no say in what he decides to write, but i can criticize it. and i wanna make it clear, i love brendon small, his work is amazing and i do still love AOTD, it just didnt feel like the story was actually over from the movie alone.
also, i am grateful we got this movie at all!!! please dont think im not! im really, REALLY thankful!!!
but before i go into negatives, i wanna talk about what i did like, as while i do have a lot of negative things to say, my negatives are merely crumbs compared to to my positives.
What i did like about AOTD
THE ANIMATION!!! it was so memorizing. it was so so so so SO beautifully done. i cant express how pretty it is, it keeps drawing me back.
the ending was also fantastic. while there are things that i dont totally agree with, god was it amazing. i loved how it went down. i loved how the sea prophet came out of the water to take down salacia, that was probably my favorite moment of it. this part of the movie felt like it had the most dedication and time put into it and i really love it for that.
edgar and crozier's brief friendship. i would have never expected them ever teaming up and i love their dynamic.
setting design!!! i love how all the buildings and places they go look. the church, the song guru's place, the landscapes, etc, it was all so beautiful!
the "toki, be a good boy and bring mommy his scotch" line. no further explanation needed.
age regression toki! while i wasnt completely happy with how it was shown, i still love it very much. i think we all really needed some toki cuteness to get ourselves through the movie :)
THE RETURN OF OLD CHARACTERS WHEN THE FANS COME TO SAVE DETHKLOK! i loved it so much, it really made it go out with a bang. i wish we saw more of them though.
toki's deadybear making more appearances!
im not really a skwistok shipper so i know i didnt and still probably wont appreciate this as much as other people will, but i liked that we got more toki and skwisgaar moments. they didnt bond, no, but it was nice to see the characters be closer then they were previously...okay, toki was really the only one initiating it and skwisgaar quickly brushed him off and was clearly annoyed, but i love it anyway!
SKWISGAAR SPELLING OUT DEADFACE WHILE UNCONSCIOUS!!! it was so sick.
fandom jokes! they added in the mom and dad joke and kept it a consistent joke, i thought that was really funny, even if i personally dont like calling pickles a mom lol.
GENERAL CROZIER!!! <333333
edgar was written amazingly here, i loved him so much <3 how he threw his sandwhich at crozier and crozier just accepted it <3 god i love them so much. can you tell i ship them.
VATER ORLAAG IS SO COOL. my first 2 watches, i didnt really care for him, as we never really grew a connection with any tribunal member during the show, but the more i watch the movie the cooler he becomes.
theres probably more i could add to this list, but those are my main points.
Now to the stuff I didn't like....
What I didn't like about AOTD buckle up, i have a lot to say.
my biggest complaint is that everyone but nathan forgot everything that happened. it made me really upset and still does. i dont get why they couldnt have just made them remember. the thing i was excited about most was seeing them deal with these darker topics and watch them heal together. i think it was an extreme cop out to just make them forget everything, and even with nathan, who remembered, i dont think his PTSD that they mentioned was done well at all. we've seen in the past that they can be good with trauma and mental disorders/illnesses, like toki's very well done panic attack, and how toki came to be more childish to cope with his past, like how he regressed in doomstar requiem to help and escape what was going on around him, so it almost feels weird that all of a sudden it was done poorly, or at least thats how i personally feel.
Abigail. I don't feel like i have to say more but im going to anyway. I really expected this movie to be Abigail's big moment. not main character worthy, not at all, but she was so under developed and felt forced into the plot just as some sort of love interest that i was hoping brendon would use this final chance to help fix that earlier mistake. but we didnt get that, and i feel like thats a really big missed opportunity.
i really really reallyyyy wanted abigail and toki's relationship to actually be explained to us. in doomstar, abigail protected toki. not fully, of course, but she helped him to mentally go somewhere else, taking on a clear motherly figure as her lullaby was a direct reference to the part of mary singing to jesus in jesus christ superstar. i wanted this to be explained to us. i wanted brendon to go deeper into this relationship, i wanted this story to be told so badly, yet sadly we didnt get that, and without it, it just leaves me confused. why would a mother ever leave her child? of course she wasn't toki's actual mom, but she took up that role, like in a serious way, a way pickles could never compare, though its important to note ive never even see their relationship as father and son to begin with personally, but i know others do.
still talking about abigail, but i didnt like how she just left. i personally would have been okay with either nathan and abigail staying together or them breaking up, really, but how it played out was so sudden that it just felt like she was purposefully being written out just so she didnt have to be dealt with. she is brought up a few times later in the movie, but personally, it doesnt feel like enough to justify how sudden it was. im not saying this was brendon's intention, but it seriously felt that way, and every time i watch the abigail scene i get really mad and upset😭
the movie's pacing was a problem for me. they tried to tell so much yet in so little time. yeah, 1 hour 40 minutes (not the exact run time, just a rough number for simplicity) is a pretty decently sized movie, but when your trying to tell so much it isnt. nothing felt genuine because of this. theres so many scenes i cant fully enjoy for how unique of a story its trying to tell because they skim over it and finish the scene within a matter of minutes. YES! I AM SO VERY THANKFUL THAT WE GOT A MOVIE AT ALL! THIS IS JUST A CRITICISM!!!
this ties in with the pacing issue, but the relationships between the characters. i felt like no one bonded at all. nathan was front and center and that left everyone else kinda in the dust. like. no one talked to eachother, they all did just barley. the characters that interacted the most were toki and skwisgaar and pickles and toki, and you would think that knowing that, toki played some major role, and he didnt at all. it was kinda weird they had this entire scene talking about how important each band member in when, whenever i watch the movie, it feels like no one is important other then nathan.
i also feel like they backtracked on things from doomstar. i was kinda expecting this, just a little, because brendon has had 10 years to think about this story and make changes, but i felt like what was changed about doomstar...wasnt good? i thought the whole point of doomstar was the band learning to love the fans (as they did quite literally build a home for wayward musicians on top of the old depths of humanity bar) but most importantly, each other, yet that seems to have been forgotten almost. they dont tease and ignore each other as much as they used too, but i guess its more like i was expecting them to be closer then they really were.
murderface realizing what salacia had made him do, and him blaming himself, was completely underwhelming to me.
the words "falconback project" werent even mentioned once.
i didnt like any of the scenes where murderface goes under salacia's control, which made me sad, i was really excited for it. i think the animation for a lot of those scenes were AMAZING!!!! so dont get me wrong with that, because thats not the problem. i was just....i dont know. i was expecting something....is cooler the right word? maybe. i was expecting murderface to be fully under salacia's control and that we'd have scenes of him being by salacia's side and stuff like that. and also, in doomstar, that purple stuff he was injected (?) with clearly went all the way to his heart and the rest of his body, while in the move it was only in his arm, which kinda made me feel like they planned for something like i previously described but softened it down by making him only a little under his control.
also salacia. i didnt like him at all in the movie. he used to be one of my favorite characters, even though all of mtl the tribunal felt sidelined. i was excited to learn more about him, but his character felt so flat and boring in the movie that it made me kindaaa stop liking him😭
charles was done so dirty. i felt like he should have had way more screen time and involvement in the movie. i also dont like that charles is no longer made to be "one of the boys" anymore. he used to call them his bread and butter, but the movie ended by him calling them his "spiritual saviors". which yeah, that sounds hella cool, but i dont like that separation between him and dethklok. to me, he is forever apart of their family.
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not just that, but i feel like he should have had a bigger say on what was going on and how things were going. i know he said he was resigning as their manager and wouldnt be there to protect them anymore in doomstar requiem, but it still feels wrong to me that he didnt let himself have any say in it whatsoever.
magnus. love him or hate him i still feel like he should have played some sort of bigger role in the movie. i dont think we exactly needed to see him on screen for a long amount of time, if at all, but its so weird how slipped under the rug he and the assassin felt. they have times where they bring up magnus like hes relevant but it doesnt feel like there was a lot of thought put into executing that.
i really wanted to see the darker side of toki's regression. i wanted to see him deal with his trauma with it and for the viewer to see it as not just something cutesy. i will always love cute toki scenes, but i wanted us to see the less cute side of it.
theres probably a lot more i could say, but thats just what i can say off the top of my head for now. remember, these are my own opinions, you dont have to agree at all. these are just my own thoughts.
on a closing note....what happened to the 2nd album that was gonna come out...? theres been no word of it from what i've seen. we were told about 2 albums; dethalbum iv and the movie soundtrack, yet its like magazines like revolver and other articles have been avoiding talking about it, including brendon, or maybe thats just me. i have screenshot proof that this was a thing too because i have heard no one else talking about this???? but if it was cancelled i'll be a little sad, i really wanted to buy it. i also really hope we get music videos for dethalbum iv, id really love that.
i hope everyone has a wonderful time watching it if they are just seeing it now, and to all those reading who have already watched it, i hope you had as much fun watching it as i did. while i do think theres a lot in it i dont agree with, its still a beautiful movie, and i am proud of what we got.
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jojo-schmo · 6 months
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I wanna say your doodles and drawings are SO ADORABLE. that being said, whenever you do stuff like ship art, normally, I don't really care or like ships, BUT YOU MAKE IT SO ADORABLE AND I LOVE IT. HOW???!?
That’s so kind of you to say, thank you so much!!! I work hard to make pleasant things :)
Oh gosh I wish I could pinpoint my exact thought process behind character interactions- romantic or otherwise. I find a lot of solace and comfort in drawing positive or fun or silly interactions!
Which isn’t to say I avoid all negative interactions- Every story has its ups and downs. I don’t try to outright ignore the complexities of life and the different feelings it brings.
But when it comes to the bits of free time I have, it genuinely makes me happy to make other characters happy with my own pencil- even if they are fictional. I smile when I draw fluffy things. I let myself enjoy it for the first time in my life not long ago.
One thing that really helped me is realizing the limits I placed on myself. If I got an idea to draw and considered it “cringe” or whatever, I’d shut it down. Wouldn’t even consider it. Like a year and a half ago, I NEVER would’ve imagined I’d produce ship art of any kind!! I was mostly just a lurker with little to no audience! I tried dipping my toe into sharing things I never shared before- like ship art or AU concepts- and now I’m here! I had to leave my comfort zone, but since then I’ve had some really lovely interactions with people here and I’m working on a big roleswap comic project that I’m really excited about!!
Removing those self-inflicted limitations on myself and simply allowing myself to enjoy the most saccharine, goofy, fluffy concepts has been great fun!!!
I guess my secret just boils down to genuinely enjoying myself when I create. I just like seeing characters loved the way I might like to be loved. Familial or romantically or platonically. It took me a while to learn that but I’m here now!
It brings me so much joy to think others can enjoy something I make too. More than I can convey. <3
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