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#5 weeks sober & clean
alcohol-eyes · 6 months
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#2 whole weeks sobeR let’s talk abt it#this the longest I’ve gone without a crumb of weed in my system in 5 yrs and the second longest in 8 yrs#For a long long time I thought I was self medicating the adhd but turns out I was making it Significantly worse#I have an attention span now I can watch tv without scrolling on my phone or playing w fidget toys#My apartment has stayed perfectly clean for the past 2 wks#haven’t rly struggled with eating or sleeping routines are v important wit it tho#been relying heavily on safe foods I’ve eaten the same exact thing every day for 2 weeks but it’s fine#ashwagandha helps me not wanna peel my skin off in rage#time moves INSANELY slower when ur not h*gh every waking second of the day these have been the Longest 2 wks of my life#but also I have So Much more time to do things and SO much more energy to do the things#I thought being anxious and exhausted was just my constant state of being but turns out that was Also just the weed#The insane nightmares have been The hardest part but most of the time my dreams are just weird#Feeling emotions is weird I’ve cried more in the last 2 weeks than I have in the last 2 years#I cry about good things I cry about beautiful things art as a whole is just so moving#self regulating after stressful things like work or staying with my parents is definitely New as w as decompressing after socializing w ppl#I do things like paint and journal and make silly little bracelets now#Idk man it just hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be#A few months ago me and ******** were talking about how we’d actually k word ourselves without it#turns out the jazz cabb was making my depression and anxiety so much worse than it actually is#shits literally fine#Anyways don’t let ppl tell u u can’t develop an unhealthy relationship w weed I was h*gh every waking second of my day for 5 yrs#Last time I tried this I immediately became an alcoholic instead this time I don’t even feel the desire to have a single little drink#Overall I have A Lot more self control in every single area of my life#I don’t waste my money on dumb shit I can eat normal amount of food like a normal person#The thought of buying my favorite cookies and only having like Two of them used to be such an unreasonable concept to my little brain#I don’t know if this is gonna be a permanent thing I definitely know I can’t do it habitually#just like I learned I can be normal about alcohol if I don’t keep it in my house and only do it when socializing for special occasions#anyways if ur thinking about taking a break from ur favorite substance maybe give it a try#thx for coming 2 my ted talk if u read the whole thing I luv u take care of urself
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dead-g0rl-walk1ng · 2 years
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Tw: Self Harm
:))
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nityarawal · 1 year
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3/23/23
Dear Courts-
This is my testimony for myself & Carol Lund with her husband Keith.
I was slumlorded out of Joan Grandizio's home at the "Freedom Farm," at 
59605 Grandon Road in Turweleger community of Anza, CA in January.
I started working with Joan on a referral from our handyman Ryan Wickoff. 
He said she fired him for no good reason. He was going to move in. 
So we hired Eddy Lyons - another kind handyman to investigate the trailer I was buying to tow to her farm in Sep. 
Eddy also still needs to be paid for that service! We both did this in good faith and spent a day in Pine Cove with the owner Oceana Cotton.
Eddy also witnessed this kind of abuse at Barbara Bradford's farm after her maintenance guy raped me! She stole most if my furniture and storage!
I was living at Kosh's airbnb in Pinyon at 69907 Averill Drive, Mountain Center, CA 92561 at the time. 
We found out Kosh's well water was polluted (and spreading giardia!)
I passed a parasite worm there for 1st time in life after 1000's of cleanses because of dozens of foul rentals & dirty hospitals/court violence!
Then I moved next door to Mary Schmitz's animal rescue Farm at:
62950 Pinyon Dr
Mountain Center CA 92561 
Moonrise Ranch ✨🐎🏕😊
To a dirty teepee she said was cleaned and 2 geckos crawled under stomach 1st night!
I cleaned her farm for months 24/7 (and it appeared deeply neglected for months.)
I told Mary we needed someone to tow trailer in October and she said her ex boyfriend Sean was going to steal it for himself! ): 
I asked her to advise him not to since she's a realtor and this was my verbal disclosure of my plan to buy it- because she said we could move it to her farm- and I only needed someone to tow it. 
I said it was mean and she drunkenly laughed it off. 
All her instruments were stolen too! (I have pictures of them so we can return them to rightful owners!)
She must be looting all her clients because she stole 3 guitars and all my roomful of assets since I took this job with Joan in January and won't let me go home! 
They also blocked me from water and home many times while I was at Elliots- locking me out late at night and in bad weather!
Oceana Cotton had promised to sell trailer to me or give it to Stevie and Joleen. 
Stevie now has cancer of dick & needs his home returned! (It was indeed stolen!)
Joan liked my handyman Eddy Lyons but fired him too for being friends with her "hated" tenants Carol & Keith and not obeying her "silencing" orders.
Finally, in January things were unbearable tending to Mary's 6 sick dogs while she battled alcoholism- she'd moved me to one of her 5 boyfriend's fathers home: Dan Elliot senior at:
61283 Chalet DR.
MOUNTAIN CENTER, CA
92561.
She promised he was sober- yet I had to ask him and friends not to do crystal meth in house because I'm really allergic and its illegal- cleaned needles up from whole property! I told him this condemned his house as a realtor, I'm allergic to Nazi drugs and don't want to ever see or smell it in a house! 
He was living in his Inherited Probate getting slumlorded by siblings in court stressed out of his head ill. Feds were terrorizing him too and Kosh on late payments with drone trespassing.
So I cooked, cleaned, provided food- gave him all my money and was his slave for months after being enslaved to Mary at her farm- and now Joan doxed my location to cops on brobes for months at her home & camping in snow.
I stayed one week at Dennis Sketchleys- a handyman that gave me a tick in my bed- when he slumlorded me from 54399 valleyview and tollgate/country club homes and beat me. I promised never to go on his property again but was desperate in snow! 
Then Dennis kicked me out after Mary's client Jessie was murdered at her airbnb tree house listing with Mike in Pine Cove. 
(I really need assets from Divorce Dissolution so I don't have to rent from ex-cons and field their abuse!)
Joan hired me to move to her Landers rescue with Glen; he's her 400 pound laborer that is ill from inhumane conditions- he can no longer walk- and rides machines around property hobbling to tend to animals.
There was no hot water or kitchen.
Joan offered me her "clean" Dome house. I got there after dark and took her word that it'd been cleaned for me. 
The bed was filthy and floors covered in dirt I saw in morning. 
Joan wanted me to take over Glen's job at her Lander's farm.
She said Glen was making: $400/mo at
$15/hour and she covered Phone payments, 2 days off, 25 hours a week for Morning feedings with Blankets on horses,
Checking on all cat & pippy Litters.
Puppies- are in-door & out-door with Double gates. Glen used Tractor to take
Manure to dumpster with Wheelbarrow.
She was marketing Earthen domes on camp websites. She said there was no
Kitchen which doesn't seem legal. 
I could see Glen wouldn't live long when I got there with such I'll health abd depression in substandard room even though he's my age! 
I worked for several days alongside them all training with him and encouraged Joan to keep him too. 
(He doesn't have anywhere to go and depends on his job and is very subservient and hard working despite Joan's demands. He nods as told to colleagues/tenants like obedient slave despite physical handicaps from her grossly neglected abd functionally obsolete animal shelters!)
Glen promised to put in hot water and a shower in a bathroom within a week since there was nowhere to clean up properly and it was very cold and windy. I was freaking out with no shower after 2 days of cleaning pig & horse / puppy/cat shit.
Joan asked me to come back to her Anz farm to work on contracts. 
She said I'd be doing the work exchange like Glen taking over his job. 
Joan gave me very detailed directions to her property. 
She said:
"10:30 a.m.
Come down mtn to Rancho Mirage
74 straight
10 west
Hwy 62
29 palms
Windmills
Yucca valley (call Joanne) 
Old women springs rd -Hwy 247- left (north)
20 miles to
Reche Rd. 
Curves to right - turn right
Pass
Landers post office - GPS
5-10 min away 
Left see Moose Lodge
Next White Building
Says Billfs Hall
Left on Gibraltar (if get to end of Gibralter - Gone too far- see back of property.)
1 block f/ end
About mile
Knox- ni-man - (right)
(Applegate way should say)
Pass abandoned house
Next property 
Will see 1 8th 1
(JOANS)
TELEPHONE POLE
58562
METAL EAGLE DANCER
CHURCH- JESUS SAVES
STORAGE"
So I think it's supposed to be:
58562 Applegate Way? 
Or Knox-ni-man? 
(Note: She failed to mention if it was Gibralter Ave or Dr. And they're side by side. How many have they tricked & trashed cars on tow? 
Please present my full letter!)
But the 2nd day I was there I came home one night from getting groceries and Must've passed Gibralter and took a second Gibralter on Left! 
Joan failed to mention there were two Gintralter roads parallel next to each other in my notes as you can see. 
So I end up at the end of this road with a deserted house in the sand. 
I looped around to see where I went wrong on directions and came back to dead end with abandoned house confused. 
I tried to circle out and got stuck in a sand driveway.
 I called Glen to get me and he said put car in reverse or neutral and slammed my car right into the back side of his truck! 
He promised his friend would fix it next day but failed to follow up. I've written them both many times!
I sent Joan the bill for over $3000 and she's shirking her responsibility to all employees that have worked for her.
She invited me back to Freedom Farm in Anza to shower and use her kitchen. 
She said everything was hers in refrigerator and insisted I help myself. 
She wanted to do the contract with me so I paid $40 to download a work exchange rental but she wouldnt sit down and focus on it for several days. She has added from parasites!
Her agenda was to wrongfully evict her tenants!
I told Joan I don't go to court or talk to police due to PTSD. 
She wanted me to go to the Courthouse with her to smear the tenants and I said I can't go to court. 
I asked her to drop me at a park or mall while I wait for her. 
She refused to drop me off and finally I had to get out at curb of Murietta Courthouse and wait for hours in the landfill across street. 
She had no sympathy for PTSD I have from domestic in-house terrorism of courts! 
Then she grilled me about my divorce and lack of settlements all day.
Since then I found out psychiatrist courts kidnapped me to Dr. Singh Was advertising my head for a Probate murder at Moreno Valley Hospital for Riverside Health. 
We feel Joan took bribes on all employee heads for court and is contentious.
Joan failed to sit and focus on contract all weekend because she was obsessed with wrongfully Evicting her tenants! 
I told her I can't Get involved- as my custody battle is priority of my life- and I don't have energy to deal with inhumane actions to people. 
For an animal rescue- we could all see she was being careless and cruel to all of us employees.
Joan told me her lawyer got ill visiting her and had to have his leg amputated when he was recently there and put me on a couch on the enclosed porch waiting room. She said Glen had slept there before me and didn't want me to open it into a bed. 
We feel Joan was intentionally spreading germ warfare. 
All the employees were traumatized by her lawyers diseased fate serving her and she never cleaned out his room. 
When I went into it I vomited and disease is rampant in her homes.
Joan instructed me to never speak to tenants Carol & Keith. 
She said she'd trained Glen just to nod at them. This is not my way but I was trying to be a loyal servant so followed orders. Carol & Keith were confused by my silence and scared having a stranger on property they weren't introduced to, so it put me in a uncomfortable, and compromised position.
One night I was in kitchen making tea and Joan called on speaker phone. 
Carol & Keith heard and were also in kitchen. 
Joan kept calling Carol "fatty" loudly on my phone and screaming other nasty names goading her on my speaker phone from Landers, meanwhile putting me in harms way with her upset and bullied tenants in THEIR kitchen! 
I also ate some potato salad and salami- because Joan said everything was hers- when in fact it was the tenants! That caused alot if drama! I paid Carol back $5 and decided to testify for her rather than Joan!
On Saturday- which was supposed to be my day off- Joan called and texted over a dozen times from morning to night about her tenant dispute harassing us. 
I told her I needed some rest from her drama. 
She wanted to call cops on tenants. 
I said if she needs to do that let me know- so I could leave.
 I have an extremely clean and prudent history despite many court contentious people like Joan trying to take bribes on head in ponzi scam against moms and lying in smear campaigns.
Joan knew I was just diagnosed with PTSD from officer rapes and foul play in September and I couldn't talk to them. 
She lied and said tenant called cops! 
Officer King came and tried to interrogate me and drag me in. 
I said I was just a guest- sat in my car- and refused his interrogation. 
Joan called and he wanted my phone to talk to her. 
I said "no" so he was pissed he had to use own phone and was rude to me rest of night. 
It was upsetting that Joan dragged me in anyways- and kept saying my name "Nitya" - which is very unusual and private. I texted her to never dox my location to a cop or my name again! 
I asked officer King for his card before he left and he was rude not to give it to me. 
I have sent videos of all the sarcastic, rude and nasty things he said to me to both Carol & Joan. 
It was extremely racist.
I told Joan I would leave if cops Terrorized us again and she led me to believe tenants had called- when it was her! She left a voice-mail confessing and then after lying about it.
Monday she wanted me to go to court with her again; I said "no" so she wanted me back in Landers and arranged for another laborer to come up. 
Monday morning I broke her rules -she said -by asking Carol for cops business card before I left. 
I also found out my x's atty died in a scuba diving accident last summer. 
It seemed preminiscious since I'd written a song about her called Barracuda Mamma. Sharkbait song unfolded that weekend and I was pleased with sequel I'd written and good news for my children's freedom from one atty in their pedophile sting.
I sent my new song to Joan and Carol as I was getting ready to drive to her Landers farm hours away.
Joan texted me to leave. 
It was very cold considering I'd worked 24/7 in slumming conditions for a week! She asked about my records and was looking to see if she could get me in trouble for court. 
I confessed dmv.org consulted with my ex husband and was withholding my registration even though IRS stole thousands of dollars of tax returns from 2016 divorce and also hired gay officer Enoch and Daniel Crabtree to steal my Lexus rental car on rape bribes from attys. I'd been caged by Dr. Singh 18 months of covid in shit filled rooms slumlorded out of over a dozen homes, all my assets stolen, and dmv refused to honor years where I couldn't even use Lexus Lemon while it was being serviced! Santa Monica Lexus dealership tried to steal my car while I was raped at hospitals and dmv.org refused to register it. I paid several hundred and they said that would suffice! 
They got several thousand from IRS yet they still fail to send registration sticker! Joan knew I was working for her to clean up that one thing from previous courts abuse!
I left within an hour when she said "bye," only to be greeted by officers Schmitt coming out of bushes hiding at gate. 
He cordially told me to have a good day.
 A block later Sheriff Curtis was coming down her dirt road and pulled me over. 
He said he was arresting me on registration and Cuffed and beat me into back of his car.
Carol said she was talking to officer Schmitt and he realized I lived and worked for Joan so came out and had Curtis release me. 
Curtis threatened to steal my car if he ever sees me again. 
Sargeant Protero raided my home and stole my phone & dog Blu I share with our handyman Eddy Lyons- in covid of 2020. 
Mountain Liquor say our Nazi Sheriff Brags about violence they've inflicted on me and say they wished they'd stolen my Lexus as well as my rental car when they had me raped with broken ribs in covid for 18 months of shit filled hospitals.
Mary Schmitz stole all my belongings from her boyfriend's dad's house where I was renting. 
We all feel both her and Joan doxed my location to have me murdered.
Joan wrote to say she was surprised I didn't go to jail! 
She asked me to wait all day while she sorted everything out. 
I sat in rain for 8+ hours- then she called to say she didn't want me back and laid her silencing trip on me.
I've been homeless since camping in snow. 
Mary Schmitz refuses to return assets and Joan just sends "cease & desist" messages to any reasonable communication.
We feel these animal rescues are a farce and they're actually abusing humans and animals.
I've seen 7 Dr's since with over 20 variants of parasites and bugs. 
Carol says Joan had covid and was taking parasite medication- but she failed to disclose Germ warfare! 
I need reimbursement on car damages, gas, health repercussions and a home for that week of hard work we all did. 
I need $50k in damages to cover unemployment for next year and would like to have my home back with tenants. 
We will bug bomb and disinfect it. Otherwise both her properties should be closed down and are condemned. 
We feel Joan has abused over 6 employees just since September spreading parasitic disease, gaslighting & abusive tactics; and she's not in her right mind to practice business. 
She never had a reasonable reason to fire all of us and it appears she's working for courts full time as a nazi soldier weaponizing motherhood. 
We feel 50k is a fair sum if she settles today so that we can heal at home in peace for remainder of year with kids & new puppies. 
Thankyou!
Blessings,
Nitya Rawal
Encinitasbeachhome.com
National Association of REALTORS 
Journalist @nityalakshmi108 - all docs and Grievances posted since September.
PS
More notes from Joan on Landers Job:
Ac
Porta potty
Joan Grandizio
Facebook 
3 or 4 hours a day
Dome house: 
Bigger Fridge
Table
Toaster oven ( which I bought at Anza Hardware & just returned- because I've been terrified Curtis & Nazi cops would steal my car & kill me with their hospital & court contentious bribed colleagues of atty Sharkbait circle!)
No water
Park in front of Dome
Walk
5 acres
2nd half sold
"Guanacasa" - Costarica
Transfer benefits to Costa
Start business 2-3 years
Buy a property that has a business
150k Ranchette 
Left on Gibraltar (if get to end of Gibralter - Gone too far- see back of property.)
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moonsgemini · 9 months
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good for you - rafe cameron
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summary: Rafe just wanted to be good. He wanted to be good for her, but somehow he always found a way to mess things up. And of course she’s there to help him clean up the mess.
warnings: angst, fluff, rafe gets arrested, insecurities from rafe
wc: 1.9k
an: hope you all enjoy!! I kinda lost inspo towards the end but regardless I still kinda like it. um also I’m 5 days sober so love that for me, I’m taking a tolerance break to clear my mind & it's helped so much so far.
masterlist
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She was laying on her bed reading Pride & Prejudice, trying to stay away from her phone. She was trying to build better habits like not going on her phone before she went to sleep. It was a cool summer night, her balcony doors open letting the smell of the beach enter her room. Her eyes were starting to involuntarily shut as sleep started to overtake her, but she was jolted awake as her phone started vibrating on her night stand.
It was almost 12am who would be calling her at this hour. She peeked over and the name on the screen made a pit in her stomach form. Kildare Sheriff’s Department. She didn’t have a single clue as to why she was getting a call from the police at this hour. Her stomach turned as her mind raced jumping to conclusions like someone she knew being in an accident.
Hesitantly picking up she muttered, “Hello?”
“Hey uh it’s me.”
Her mouth went dry, “Rafe? Are you okay? What’s going on?”
Y/n had only moved to outer banks a few months ago. She had met Sarah one day when she was shopping at a boutique in the figure eight. Being the bubbly outgoing person that Sarah was she invited her to a party going on that night. Usually y/n wouldn’t go to a random party alone but it was summer and how else was she going to make friends. She had promised herself that in the Outer Banks she was going to be different. She wasn’t going to bury herself in her books and be secluded missing out on all the things a teenager should be doing like she had been in her old hometown.
When she arrived at the party she was received with weird looks and she had immediately regretted her decision. She wandered around hoping someone would come up and talk to her or she’d bump into Sarah. Luckily she did bump into her, the girl immediately took her under her wing and introduced her to some people. Y/n even had a few drinks as she talked with the girls she met. She was actually enjoying herself. After a while she went off to find the bathroom, that’s when she bumped into a 6’2 dirty blonde.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” She mumbled stumbling back a bit, her balance a little off after a few seltzers.
Rafe looked down at the girl not recognizing her as a regular at these parties, “No worries.” He smirked, he definitely would have remembered her.
She looked around not really knowing where she was going, “um do you know where the bathroom is?”
Rafe thought she was extremely cute. She was like a lost puppy and he would do anything to help her find her way, “It’s the last door on the right, have we met before?” He asked knowing they definitely haven’t.
“Probably not, I just moved here a couple weeks ago. I’m y/n.” She smiled as she felt her face heating up. She thought he was extremely handsome, he had a slightly cocky demeanor but she couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t into it. The way he looked at her like she was his prey made her feel something warm in her stomach. In her old town no boy had bothered to give her the time of day so having the attention of someone as handsome as him was overwhelming.
Rafe’s smirk grew, “That makes sense I think I’d remember if we met, I’m Rafe.”
He knew he was a goner when she looked up at him with those big eyes and that smile. Everything about her was captivating to him. He liked looking at her smooth exposed legs in the small skirt she was wearing and her collarbones that were begging to be kissed by him. He also liked the fact that she didn’t know who he was. She had no idea he was a bad person the way everyone said he was.
Ever since that night Rafe and y/n had been practically inseparable. They spent their days together whether it was at the beach while she read her books on the sand in that small bikini while Rafe surfed. Or they’d go to parties together, Rafe’s arm around her the whole night. Not letting her out of his sight and making sure everyone knew she was Rafe’s girl even though they weren’t dating. Rafe hadn’t asked her out yet, he wanted to be better before he made anything official.
Rafe had become better. He wasn’t doing coke anymore and he stopped drinking so much, limiting himself so only a few drinks. He even started doing everything his dad asked him to instead of doing whatever was in his best interest. But Rafe was nowhere near perfect. It’s why he was calling her from the sheriff’s department at midnight. He felt like he had just fucked up all the effort he had made to be better with one stupid night.
He had gone out to a bar with a few friends and he had maybe had a bit too much to drink. Maybe he had a lot to drink and he might of started a fight with some guys. Which resulted in him being taken to the police station to sit in the drunk tank or be picked up by someone. He had one phone call and he couldn’t call his dad, he’d just yell at him and let him stay there over night. His friends weren’t the most reliable people and Sarah wasn’t exactly going to jump at the opportunity to help him. He only knew one person who would help him, but he felt embarrassed by his actions. This isn’t the Rafe he wanted her to know, but he was desperate.
“I’m o-okay. Can you come pick me up?” He hiccuped, “I fucked up y/n. Please can you come.”
She was already steps ahead of him. She had began putting on an oversized sweatshirt and her sneakers. Rafe meant a lot to her, he was one of the only people that actually listened to her. He saw her in ways that no one ever tried to. She would do anything for him. She had heard a few rumors about him but she didn’t pay any attention to them because it seemed like that Rafe was gone. Her Rafe was gentle, kind, smart, and protective.
“Of course Rafe. I’ll be there soon okay?” She said hoping to calm him, she could hear him sniffle lightly.
“I’m so sorry y/n,” He said in an almost whimper.
She shook her head even though he couldn’t see her, “There’s nothing you need to apologize for. I’ll be there soon okay?”
“Okay. Thankyou y/n.”
“Anything for you Rafey.” She smiled just thinking about him. His heart clenched at the nick name, how could she be so perfect. How could she not be angry with him for being so stupid.
When she arrived at the police station she went up to the front desk and nervously looked around. Waiting for someone to come up and help her.
“Hi, what can I do for you?” Shoupe asked as he appeared from around the corner.
“Hi um I’m here to pick up Rafe Cameron,” She said almost uncertain.
He nodded his head, “I’ll go get him, if you can just fill out these papers for me.”
“Mhmm thankyou,” she smiled sweetly.
Shoupe walked back around the corner and down the hall to the holding cell. Rafe sat there his head in his hands.
“Cameron, let’s god.” He started unlocking the door to let the young man out.
Rafe stood up quickly, because she actually came. A part of him worried that you wouldn’t show up. She’d see what a mess he was calling her at midnight and just leave him there. He couldn’t wait to see his girl. Shoupe walked him out to the front and there she stood in his sweatshirt and some sleep shorts. He felt a pang of guilt go through him knowing he disturbed her.
“Rafe,” She said letting out a relieved sigh. He had a cut lip and bruised cheek. His knuckles were cut up and bruised.
He practically ran towards her to hug her. He burried his head in the crook of her neck, taking in the scent of vanilla and shea butter. All of his worries disappeared as he held her.
“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled wishing he could just stay this way forever.
“It’s okay, let’s go home.” She pulled away from him holding his face in her hands to examine him better. Her eyes watered slightly as she took in his hurt perfect face.
They walked to her car in silence, she had a million questions but she waited to ask. Once in her car she looked over at him. He looked so broken, so upset at himself.
“What happened Rafe?” She asked.
He looked over at him with watery eyes, “I-I don’t know. One minute I’m having a drink and then another. Then another and another. Then this guy shoulder checked me on his way to the restroom and I-I just lost it. I don’t know why.” He shook his head thinking about how stupid his reason for starting the fight was.
“Rafe, people make mistakes.”
“I’ve made so many mistakes. I just want to be good. I want to be good enough for you, but I’m so stupid, I’m a loser and an idiot. I-I don’t deserve you.”
She leaned across the console and held his face in her hands rubbing her thumbs gently across his cheek bones, “Don’t say that. Rafe I would come get you from here every day if you needed me to. You can’t be so hard on yourself, it matters to me that you’re trying to be good. You are good. I’ve never once thought that you weren’t.” She cared for him more than he would ever know.
He couldn’t find any words to say because none existed that would describe how much love he had for her. No one believed in him the way that she did. He reached over mimicking her and placing his hands on her cheeks pulling her into him. His lips meeting hers, his lip hurt as he kissed her. Her hands dropped from his face and moved to his shirt, desperate hands gripping at it trying to pull him closer.
Rafe hummed in satisfaction at the feeling of her mouth on his, something he had been dreaming about for months now. The way their lips moved against each other seemed like they had been doing this forever. She let out a small whimper and it made his head spin. His hand ran down her face to hold the side of her neck, finger entangling in her hair. His other hand moved to her waist. He really wished they were in his bed right now so he could really show her how much she means to him. But he wanted to take things slow with her.
They pulled away, foreheads pressed together as they caught their breath. She felt so dizzy, all her senses were overloaded on Rafe Cameron.
“Did you know that you’re perfect?” He said quietly.
She laughed softly, “You’re perfect. Come stay with me tonight.
“Anything you want,” He pecked her lips. For the first time in his whole life he didn’t feel less than.
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viawritesstuff · 5 months
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i miss you, i'm sorry. - rafe cameron
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guys we're not gonna talk about how insanely delayed this is... i never claimed to be consistent!
OBX WEEK DAY 4 PROMPT: second chance
WORD COUNT: 0.8k (868)
WARNINGS: mentions of drug use, toxic???????ish??? relationship idk but that shit is MENDED don't u worry, cursing?, angst to fluff, reader forgives rafe unrealistically fast (but he's hot so would I)
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that day the ocean was saltier and the air seemed heavier. you hadn’t been to this part of the beach for a while. it was filled with memories of you and him. the first time you kissed, the first time he cried in front of you, and the last time you saw him.
“no, i can’t do this anymore rafe!” you shout, quickly filling up your bag with your belongings. “i asked for one day! one day, rafe!” you finish yelling, standing up.
“i don’t understand why you’re so upset right now!” he says while mirroring your movements, brushing away the sand that clung to his skin.
you scoff at his statement, slinging your bag around your shoulder. “you don’t understand why i don’t want you coked out all the time? seriously rafe?”
“you’re making this such a big deal!”
“i’m making this a big deal?” you say walking towards him. “i don’t even recognize you, rafe. i look at you and i don’t even know the person looking back at me.” you didn't realize you were crying until you felt the first drop hit, the others quickly following after.
“y/n-“
“all i wanted was one date!” your voice cracks, causing it to fall to a whisper. “one date where you weren’t high.”
“i’m not even high right now, you’re crazy.” he sighs, running a hand through his already messy hair.
“it’s me or the drugs, rafe.” you say, blankly.
he laughs in disbelief, truly thinking he didn’t hear you properly. “uh, what?”
“me, or the drugs.”
his silence told you your answer. you took one last look at him. eyes blown and hair disheveled. a hollow, broken man looks back at you. you squeeze your eyes shut and turn away. “you’ve made your choice. i’m done, i can’t do this anymore.”
your gaze hadn’t left the ocean, replaying that same hurtful moment over and over again. you squeeze your eyes shut, blinking away the tears.
“why am i here, rafe?” you ask bitterly. he flinches at your tone, debating on if it was truly worth it. of course, it was.
“i heard you were in town, wanted to talk to you.”
“talk about what, rafe?” you ask, turning to face him. he looked good, healthy, sober. his hair was buzzed now, and his eyes had life to them. they seemed bluer, shinier.
“i-, well i-“, you caught him off guard, you look different too. happier for sure, new haircut, but he also doesn't fail to notice the new rings you've collected.
“well?” you sigh, slightly anxious for him to continue.
“listen, i know i treated you like shit.” you nod, raising your eyebrows as if to say ‘that’s an understatement’
“i was an asshole and i mistreated you. i took advantage of your kindness and your loyalty and for that, from the bottom of my heart, i’m sorry. i’m sorry for how i treated you, i’m sorry for choosing drugs over you, and i’m beyond sorry for hurting you.” his eyes gloss over, tears threatening to spill.
“i understand if you can’t accept my apology, or if you don’t want to-“, you cut him off with a simple call of his name.
“i appreciate your apology rafe, i’m not sure if i can accept it yet.” he nods at your words. you sit in the sand, resting your chin on your knee. it’s funny how right now, you’re in the same spot that your world shifted 5 years ago. he follows your lead and sits next to you.
the two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, adjusting to being next to each other again. “how long have you been clean?” you ask, eyes trained on the ocean. mentally counting how many times the water hit against the rocks.
“4 1/2 years,” he answers, his eyes wandering across your face. you nod your head against your knee, pleased with his answer. “definitely hasn’t been easy, but i’ve managed.”
“i’m proud of you,” you say honestly, turning your head to look at him. “i hope you’re proud of yourself.”
“i am, i’ve really changed.” you can tell he had. his whole demeanor is different. he seems calmer, relaxed, and happier.
“i’ve noticed.”
he smiles at that, a real genuine smile. “really?”
his smile is infectious, almost immediately making it’s way onto your lips. “yeah, your whole like,” you wave your hands around him, causing him to laugh. “vibe is different. feels lighter.”
“that means the world to me.” you nod at his words, reaching out to place your hand on top of his. rafe can feel his body instantly melting at your touch.
you squeeze his hand, and for a split second it’s like nothing ever changed. “rafe, i care about you. a lot.”
“i care about you too, y/n. if you'd let me, i'd love to show you how much i've changed.”
"i'd love that," you say as you lean closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder. his arm immediately wraps around your side, effectively pulling you in closer.
he leans down to kiss your forehead muttering a quick, "i love you so much, never stopped" before kissing you again.
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okay the ending is a little rushed BUT I FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS BASICALLY ALL THE WAY FINISHED?? AND I FORGOT ABOUT IT?? I'm soooo annoyed.
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eddies-house · 7 months
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Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 |
Smoke Signals
Chapter Four - Boiling Point
W/C: 7.4K
Eddie x Fem reader - Grumpy!Bartender!Eddie x Shy!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of vomiting, slight SA (groping), drinking (if I missed anything please let me know)
A messy night and several unfortunate events.
A/N: This one got a little long but it was so fun to write, chaos is really fun to coordinate but my poor babies are taking the brunt of it all woops
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Working nights had flipped your entire sleeping schedule upside down.  Two weeks had passed since that first evening where you worked an entire shit show and you still weren’t accustomed to resting in the afternoon in preparation for the night shift.  It didn’t seem like such a big deal seeing as the bar thrived around three nights a week and remained quiet to steady the rest of the time but with a staff of only four, the workload piles up.  Tossing and turning on the couch, you groan, longing for a peaceful sleep that would energize you.  The bed wasn’t doing you any justice which is why the couch sounded that much more appealing but as it turns out they both had the same effect.  
Keeping you awake.
Now, there wasn’t anything remotely wrong with either one however, you just couldn’t seem to get comfortable enough to find that blissful sleep you were yearning for.  
You were restless.
What didn’t help was the incessant shredding of an electric guitar next door.  The high pitch clawed at your ears and echoed throughout the canyon your house was settled in.  You could either suck it up and muffle the sound as best as you could with a pillow, or you could confront your noisy neighbor and politely let him know you were trying to sleep in order to fuel yourself to run his bar.  Confrontation was not your specialty and you would avoid it by any means necessary.  But it couldn’t hurt to just ask him to stop.  The worst he could do is laugh in your face and slam the door.
And that would be enough to turn your blood hot, not in rage, but in shame and embarrassment.  Maybe it was best to tuck your sweaty and fidgety body back into the couch for long enough that the imprints of the rough fabric would show up as indentations on your skin.  Hopefully the shrieking of the guitar would eventually fade away and become background noise in your dreams.  
It never did stop.
“Jett, could you please toss me that rag?  Major spill at table four.”
It was 6:00 PM, Friday night.  Just about every table and every stool was occupied, a competitive game of pool provoking many men to yell at the top of their lungs, causing your ear drums even more grief than the endless guitar solos you had to endure earlier.  On top of it all, drunk people on a Friday night were not easy to clean up after, several spills inevitably happening on your watch, with more than enough evidence to back your claim up.
“I’ll get it, you go on your break.”  Jett advises.
The Bourbon was nearly at capacity, a majority of the town’s regulars seated along the bar and even more of its residents engaging in their pre-weekend activities.  The people of Knife’s Edge were rambunctious or at least, that’s the only side of them you’d seen so far.  Most likely because they were all getting hammered.  Maybe you should get out more?  Then you could see their personalities sober and not glazed over with the confidence of alcohol.
“You sure?”  You ask sincerely.
Jett didn’t even have a second to glance up at you from the beers he was collecting, a whole round of them for a table of five men roaring with laughter.
“Yeah, if you don’t take it now it’s only going to get busier and you never will.”  He yells over the booming music.
“Okay.”
You’re reluctant to leave him alone but you trust his judgment, seeing as he has no issue making that call.  And customers seemed to love him, joking back and forth until he practically dragged himself back behind the bar.  They hadn’t seemed to take that kind of liking toward you quite yet and the only compliments you received were gross comments from older men that slurred their words, you respectfully dismissing yourself to tend to other customers just to escape.
Quickly, you make your way toward the back through the narrow hallway that leads out to the alley.  The bar had become stuffy, too many humans populating the small space, prompting a much needed break for a breath of fresh air.  Almost reaching the door, a haven that would relieve your sweat coated skin with a crisp breeze, you collide into something firm, a deep grunt coming from the source.
“Watch it, Bambi.”  Eddie barks, glaring down at you.  He holds an unopened bottle of tequila, knuckles white as he tightens his grasp.
“I-I’m sorry.”  You stutter, taken back by his stern voice.  It was for the most part, always stern but this time it was especially disapproving.
“Where are you going?”  He asks, brows furrowed.
“My break.  Jett just–”
“Your break?  Now?  I need all hands on deck right now, take your break in like thirty when it calms down.”  
A vein in his neck looks as if it’s about to pop, stress evident in his entire demeanor.  Even his lips are bitten and red from what seemed to be constant tugging from his teeth.  Maybe he needed a toothpick to chew on instead?  Maybe that’s why he chewed on them in the first place?
“Well I–Jett just sent me on break.”  You reason.
“Jett?”
“Yeah.”
He breathes in deep, head tilting toward the ceiling as he exhales through his mouth, clearly trying to maintain his calmness.  Although it always seemed like he was going to blow up and cause a scene when he got like this, he never did.  
“Jesus Christ, kid’s gonna give me an aneurysm.”
Walking down the hall toward the commotion of the bar, he shakes his head, curls bouncing and that famous frizz framing his head like a halo.  You keep your movements halted, feet glued to the floor in confusion as to whether you’re meant to follow him or actually go on your break.
“So do I–do you want me to take my break or–”
“Just go.”  He calls back, this time a calmer tone detected in his voice.
If you were meant to do the opposite in some sort of reverse psychology moment, you didn’t.  The cool air called to you and you were going to use all ten minutes to bathe in it, and reset your nervous system.  Eddie could sweat in your place for the time being.  
Things had been easier since that first shift; the cook, Randy, had returned and said that he left in the heat of the moment, explaining the following day that he lost his cool and was so certain he was going to quit.  Then he came back to his senses and realized how unrealistic that was and that he was in no position to be searching for a new job right now.  He was on the verge of begging for his job back but what you’d heard from the back office was Eddie telling him not to ‘pull that shit again’ and to ‘get back to work’.  No further discussions or arguments on the topic ensued since that day.
The chilly Autumn air brushed against your cheeks upon stepping out the door, not too much of a bite to it yet but enough to warrant a slight shiver.  The sun had already set just over an hour ago, darkness already enclosing the surrounding world.  It felt empty and devoid of life, but not in an apocalyptic way, but rather in a serene kind of way.  It was quiet except for the whisper of leaves of the birch trees in the wind.
This place still felt so far from home and your loneliness was still as prominent as ever.  You worked, went home, slept, woke up at around 10:00 AM, fixed breakfast, attempted to go back to sleep, failed and sometimes visited Donnie at the supermarket, and repeated.  The routine was sad and you might as well have been a grouchy old woman that no one spoke to or went near, not a twenty something year old who should be making the most out of her life.  The locals weren’t unfriendly, you just couldn’t seem to fit in.  Jett was the closest thing you had to a ‘friend’, although he was your coworker and some may see it as mandatory that he remains friendly with you.  Outside of work you had little to no interaction with others, usually opting to stay in and clean or watch reruns of some shows you had pre-recorded on a collection of VHS tapes.  It’s not to say you didn’t enjoy your nights in, you just wished you had the option to call someone up to hang out or make plans every now and then.
Ten minutes flew by like it was seconds, the door leading inside swinging open unexpectedly and smacking against the concrete wall, Eddie’s head poking out in search of you.  
“Excuse me, do you work here?”  He asks sarcastically.
You control the urge to roll your eyes, having a better sense of his antics in the past two weeks and knowing that no real consequences would apply to you under these circumstances.  You still maintain the need to react to his dramatics and remind him that you were helping him out just as much as he was helping you.  But you push it down and straighten your posture.
“Yes.”  You reply, eyes staring up at him with a hint of resistance.
“Could’ve had me fooled.”  He snaps, ducking back inside.
Following him, you finally give into the urge to roll your eyes behind his back.
“I timed my break just right.”  You notify him, glancing at your watch.  “I was about to come back.”
“You’re a minute late.”
Instead of allowing you a chance to argue with him, he jumps right back into action and starts clearing off a vacant table.  The rush hadn’t stopped all night, table after table being cleared only to immediately seat a new party.
After he strides off with a pile of glasses and a few plates, you get to work on wiping everything clean.  It was a newfound system, a plan that hadn’t been agreed on by either of you but was understood regardless.  With how understaffed the bar was, it worked like a charm.  
Jett’s main role was behind the bar but every now and then he would catch onto whenever you and Eddie were running behind and he would swoop in to take care of a table or two.  Recently, you learned that the other bartender, Pete, had quit and skipped town about a week before your arrival, making it that much harder to keep up with the demand of the customers who regularly chose The Bourbon to decompress at.  So now it was only you, Eddie, Jett, and Randy running the whole place.  It turned out not to be too bad of a gig, weeknights were slow enough and Sundays the bar was closed, leaving Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays as the busiest nights of the week.  The tips were decent enough as well.
Especially from those creepy old men which was an unfortunate situation you could do without but hey, it helped pay the bills.  If you ignored their advances and didn’t completely reject them, they’d leave behind a nice tip.  It felt icky, pocketing the money but the more you thought about it, the more compelled you felt to take their money.  If they were going to waste your time, you might as well be compensated for it.
One man in particular had been lurking at one of the corner tables, purposely opting out of the bar seating to instead have a higher chance of you waiting on him.  He must have been in his sixties and had an unnerving stare that just made you want to hide back in the kitchen.  You failed to inform Eddie, simply because he didn’t need further reason to see you as dainty or incapable of holding your own.  
So you gulped down your fear and put the blinders on as best you could.  
Just take his order and get it over with.  Then you can move on with your night and hopefully he’ll be out of here soon.
And right off the bat, his disgusting mouth started running.  Something about ‘can a pretty little thing like you get me a drink?’.  Then a few more unsolicited nicknames with a smirk and some remark about how good your body looked.  Something you didn’t care to hold onto in your mind, you only felt the need to take a shower.
As you rounded the corner of the bar and got to work making the pervert’s drink, you found yourself lost in thought.  Thoughts about if he found out where you lived, you may be done for.  It was a small town after all and it wouldn’t be difficult.  
“Hey, you good?”  Jett asks, shaker in hand, concern obvious in his knit eyebrows.
“What?”  You’re pulled out of your mind, shaking your head as if to lure yourself back to reality.  “Yeah, I’m fine.”  You assure him.
He nods but his expression shows that he’s not very convinced.  You finish off the drink you’d been absentmindedly making, a scotch on the rocks while offering Jett one more reassuring smile before making your way out from behind the bar.
Like you were throwing yourself back into the lion’s den, you approach the man’s table, hoping to quickly drop off his drink and be on your way.  If only life were ever so kind to you.    
“Thank you, sweetheart.”  A disgusting grin paints his face and just before you can mumble an ‘mhm’ and rush off, an unwelcome hand gropes your ass, sliding down, down, down.  You can’t see his face but you know he displays the most revolting smirk following his actions.
With a yelp followed by a gasp, you freeze.  Paralyzed, you aren’t sure how to move forward, how do you recover from being reduced to a piece of meat?  Flesh to be gawked at and held onto without permission.  An object to be handled.
“I-I’m sorry but—“  You begin to stumble over your words but never get the chance to say much more when the sound of a chair screeching against the wood floors, arguably worse than nails on a chalkboard, is heard behind you.
Upon turning around, you’re met with the sight of your boss shoving the repulsive man toward the door by the collar of his mustard stained shirt.  Eddie's strength shows despite his lean figure, appearing to have no trouble in maneuvering the man where he wants him against the door.
“What the fuck was that?”  Eddie bites, nostrils flaring as his cheeks seem to heat with a hue of red.
“Listen—“
The man’s hands are thrown up in surrender but it’s apparent that wasn’t the true intent behind his actions.  An excuse was on the tip of his tongue before Eddie cut him off, not an ounce of patience left.
“What.  The.  Fuck.  Was that?”  He repeats, grip tightening on the shirt collar, face inching closer to the man as a means of intimidation.
“Just a little flirting, she was into it.”
You can’t help but grimace at the pathetic attempt to cover up what had actually happened.  And it seemed that Eddie didn’t take too well to that answer either, further pushing the man into the door if even possible.  The scene had drawn the attention of almost the whole bar, a sea of eyeballs glued to the altercation about to happen, your very being flushed from embarrassment from the mere idea of being the source of all of it.  Had you walked away quicker, it would’ve gone unnoticed and you could’ve gone on with your night, leaving everyone else undisturbed.
“Yeah?”  Eddie cocks his head to the side, his chest heaving.  “Didn’t seem like she was into it to me.”  
“She was—“
“I wasn’t fuckin’ asking.  She wasn’t into it.”  
If looks could kill, the guy would be erased from existence with no trace of life left behind on Eddie’s account.  His big brown eyes showcased pure rage, a distinct difference from the annoyance and the fiery glare he’d cast on you every so often, especially when you would forget to pile up the dishes his way.  No, this was far more devastating and should you one day be the recipient of his aggressive stare, you’d be reduced to tears on the spot.
“Now you’re gonna get the hell out of my bar.  I never wanna see you again—“
“Listen man, I’m not—“
“I’m fucking talking.”  Eddie growls.  “You get the hell out of here and never come back, you hear me?  And you better fucking hope I don’t catch you pulling some shit like that again, I will kick your goddamn teeth in.”  He promises.
Confrontations like this were not something you were familiar with, always running off before things got too far.  You suppose that’s why people feel it was okay to use you as a doormat.  It always feels easier to drop it and walk away, ‘be the bigger person’ or whatever they say.  Even if it actually meant making you feel like the smallest person on earth.
All the back and forth and frequent swears with intention of aggravation had labored your breathing, your chest struggling to allow movement, feeling like a straw was delivering air to your lungs.  Just when you’d attempt to swallow a big enough breath of air, it would all go to waste and only provide just enough oxygen to get by.  A cold sweat threatened to spill from your hairline, your palms clammy to match.  The murmurs and whispers of witnesses had your eyes darting from person to person, suddenly all too aware of the life you were living.
Too human.  
You don’t remember another word exchanged between the two men and you certainly don’t remember how you managed to claw your way to the bathroom amidst the turmoil.  But here you were, staring into the dingy mirror with no purpose other than to escape.  And it wasn’t working.  Suddenly the lights were too bright and the room was too small, but it was secluded and that's what mattered.  Having some kind of an episode in front of the entire bar would be far worse, having an episode alone where prying eyes cannot dissect your every movement and reason for being is the better option.  It wasn’t often that your mind went to this extent when being faced with a challenging situation but when it did, you didn’t find it easy to come out of.
You heard your name floating somewhere in the bleach scented air but couldn’t quite bring yourself back enough to recognize who required your attention.  There was a head peeking in at the door after some frequent knocking and though you kept insisting you were okay and just to give you a few minutes, the individual seemed to have reason not to believe you.  
“Hey, Ed!”  He called behind him.  It was Jett.  A sweet and scared out of his mind Jett from what you could decipher through squinted eyes and blurred vision.  He was obviously being faced with unfamiliar territory, I mean who is ever prepared to talk someone down from an anxiety attack in the middle of a shift?  Panic was evident in his voice just as much as it was evident in your whole body.
“Eddie, I need some help!”  He yells again.  “Hey, you okay?  What happened?  Do you need–”
“Move over.”  You hear Eddie mumble before the door swings open, the hinges squeaking painfully.  “You’re asking too many questions.”  
With a swift shut of the door, Jett hurries back to attend to the several customers awaiting service.
“Listen to me, Bambi.  You gotta breathe.”  His voice is smooth, a huge contrast to what you’d just heard moments ago. 
When your legs begin to feel wobbly, as if you were a calf taking its first steps, you slowly lower yourself to the ground, a sturdy hand wrapping around your upper arm to support you.  
“In.”  Eddie inhales, though you can only hear him since your eyes are shut so tightly, your eyelids might rip.  “Out.”  He exhales.  “C’mon, breathe in–”
“Is she oka—”
“Jett, fuck off for a minute.  Please.”  Eddie begs, clearly fed up before returning to his newfound gentle tone.  “Can you look at me?”  He diverts his attention back to you, Jett taking the hint and shutting the door, leaving you and Eddie alone.
Eyes squeezed shut, you shake your head.  Your body shakes involuntarily, the anxiety becoming even worse when you try to contain it, like it wants to jump out and strangle you.
“Okay, okay.”  He attempts to soothe.  “You wanna get some air?”  He asks just above a whisper.
“I-I dunno.  ‘M sorry.”  You manage to choke out, sniffling.
“Okay, no big deal.”  He sighs, running a hand down his face, not out of irritation but more so exhaustion.  “Let’s get you outside, it’s too hot in here.”  
Before you can protest, he’s wrapping an arm around your shoulders and supporting the majority of your weight against him, walking you out of the bathroom and out the door into the alley.  The chilly air bites at your skin and thankfully, reality slowly starts to return again.  
“Try breathing again, in and out.”  Eddie encourages.  
You nod, jaw locked tightly both from the cold and from the paralyzing anxiety coursing through your veins.  Your teeth feel as if they could crack at any second, the pressure from you biting down too immense but you can’t bring yourself to unhinge your jaw.
“In.”  Eddie coaches, exaggerating a large breath, his chest rising with the motion.  “Out.”  He exhales through his mouth, his breath visible in the air.
He continues the breathing exercise a few more times, you following carefully as things become clear again.  And from all that had just happened, all you could gather was that you were a huge baby who couldn’t handle a rogue customer.  You weren’t capable of holding things down when it got rough.  
Pathetic.
“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know–I don’t know what happened–”  You try to make sense of it all, failing miserably.
“What happened was some pervert copped a feel and we don’t play around with that shit here.”  
Anger is obvious within his expression, even more so when he pulls out his pack of cigarettes and lights one hastily.
“Did you…”  
The question is on the tip of your tongue however, you won’t let yourself say it at the risk of sounding even more like an injured bird.  
“What?”  He asks, kicking around a few pebbles, the cigarette hanging from his lip before he brings his fingers up to grab it and inhale.  His brows are knit together, still beyond bothered by the dispute that just occurred.  
“Nevermind.”  You mumble.
His gaze meets yours, lashes casting perfect shadows just over his cheek bones in the warm lighting of the street lamp and once again, among all the darkness that pools in those chocolatey irises, there is a twinkle.  Barely noticeable but still there.  
“What?”  He urges again, voice monotone.
“Did you…did he…?”
“Did I fuck him up?”  He asks, brows raised.
You nod bashfully, a hint of fear flashing in your eyes.
“No.”  Eddie scoffs.  “I should’ve though.”  He flicks the ash from his cigarette toward the ground.  “Motherfucker.”  He mumbles.  
“Why didn’t you then?”
It was too forward and you had no business asking.  Really, it just tumbled out, off of your tongue, barely a thought behind it before it was too late.  Now you were just asking for a reaction, not a good one at that.
“It was either that or let Bambi suffocate in the bathroom.  Gotta pick your battles.”  He gestures toward you, shrugging.  
It wasn’t the reaction you were expecting, you were bracing for a bigger explosion.  Waiting for him to tell you to get back to work and to stop asking questions.  But he didn’t.  He just continued to kick little pebbles around on the pavement, his boot scuffing along the surface as he smoked.  He looked relaxed for once.
“Oh.”  You reply, staring down at your own shoes.  “I-I’m sorry.” 
“Is apologizing like…your hobby?”  He questions, shoving his other hand into his pocket.
“Well–uh no, no–”
“I love that you’re out here having bonding time but I’m a one man show in there and I need some supporting acts.”  Jett interrupts, the door creating a gust of wind and then flooding you with temporary warmth from the air inside.  “I at least need Eddie.”  He pleads.
Nodding frantically, you begin to make your way back inside, Jett already speeding off to resume his duties.
“Hey, you okay to go back in there?”  Eddie asks, dropping his cigarette and stomping it out.  “You can take another minute–”
“I’m fine.”  You insist.  He didn’t need further evidence that you were frail and incapable.  Whether it was intentional or not, he had bruised your sliver of self-confidence.
The rush was finally over, the last of it being a party of ten which left a table full of dishes to be delivered to the kitchen for washing.  Each plate was stacked in your palms, piled high as you worked one hand out from underneath to add on a few cups, cutting down on the amount of trips you would need to make.  You’d blocked out the vile events that occurred earlier in the night, at least until you had time to cry about it to yourself which when working at The Bourbon, there was never time for that.  So it would have to wait until the drive home.  Maybe you’d even save it for the shower where you could truly release all of your emotions in peace, no judging eyes or risk of a car accident.
Successfully stacking a few cups among the tower of plates, you spin on your heel, making your way toward the kitchen as the others cleaned up, Jett wiping down the bar and kicking out the lingering drunks, and Eddie cleaning up the mess that the pool table had become.  It was 1:00 AM and if everyone did their part, you’d be out of here by at least 1:30.  Tensions had been high all night, one inconvenience after another occurring, only adding onto everyone’s stress and only giving more incentive to clean quicker and go home.  A broken glass here, a messed up order there.
The kitchen door is just in reach and when you push into it with your shoulder, all of your calculations fail, the pile of plates collapsing as they hit the door frame rather than dodging it like you intended.  Each plate crashes against the floor, shattering into pieces, a few of the cups also breaking on impact.  It was the icing on the cake of a bad night, the final straw and your reason to burst into tears and yet you don’t.  
Not yet.
Not here.
A total of four eyeballs watch in shock, two more joining in as Randy, the cook peeks out from the kitchen door.  Though the tears didn’t burst from your eyes quite yet, they did sting, they stung horribly.  You could feel them brimming at your waterline, just a centimeter away from trickling down your cheek and exposing you as the biggest crybaby in the world.  If it wasn’t already apparent.
Do not cry.
And if it wasn’t already bad enough, Eddie seemed to completely reverse his gentle attitude you’d become suddenly accustomed to earlier.
“What the hell.”  He glares, slowly approaching as he sets a few glasses back down on the pool table.  “Do you watch where you’re going?  Do you have eyes?”  He asks.
You don’t dare answer, frozen in place as your nerves tingle in panic once again.  You don’t feel real.  You feel as if your spirit has risen from your body and is watching over the conversation playing out.
“Now I’m out what–ten or so plates?  Do you know what it costs–”
“Eddie.”  Jett tries to take control of the situation, taking notice of your watering eyes.  And unfortunately so does Eddie.
“What–oh, you’re gonna cry?  What did I tell you?  I told you this job wasn’t for someone like you.”  Eddie snaps.
He was bitter, unpleasantly bitter like a shitty cup of coffee.
“Eddie, stop it.”  Jett tries to defend you, though you wish you could defend yourself so you didn’t seem so pathetic.
“I told you I can’t babysit you–”
“I know.”  You manage to quietly sob, bending down to start collecting the broken pieces.  There’s an awkward moment of silence, the air thick with tension and anticipation of more insults.  All you can do is wait.
“Just leave it, just–leave it.”  Eddie sighs, running a hand through his bangs.  “Just go home.”
The demand isn’t necessarily an insult like you’d imagined but it still feels backhanded.  Like he was telling you ‘I told you so’ and rubbing it in your face.  As if he gave you a chance with the means of preparing for this moment, the moment you fucked up even slightly.
“I’m gonna get the broom.”  Jett says, eyes wide as he scampers to the back.
Staring up at Eddie, large pieces of plate collected in your hand, all you can make out in his eyes is outrage.  Downplayed outrage that hadn’t fully escaped yet and you didn’t want to hang around long enough to witness it.  He was capable of much more than he was letting on.
“If you can’t handle–”
“You know Eddie, you’re just mean.  You’re being mean.”  You declare through a frown, internally screaming at yourself to keep it together, to not let a tear spill over.  He didn’t deserve the satisfaction of watching you cry.
“Did you know you never even asked for my name?”  You swipe underneath your eyes, catching any tears that longed to trail down your cheeks, displaying your distress, instead wiping them on your apron.
His unkind stare lets up, eyes softening ever so slightly.  
Too late.
“I’m not a person to you.”  You drop the shards from your hands, standing up to head toward the back for your things.
“Wait–”
If he kept talking, you didn’t stick around to hear it.  You scooped up your bag from the rusting lockers toward the back of the kitchen, tucked away in a corner before striding to the front, toward the bar.  If he thought you were some kind of an entitled brat that needed babysitting then you were going to give him more than he bargained for.  Granted, you weren’t thinking straight either, the stress of the night only adding up and creating an outburst you would otherwise bottle up.
Grabbing a shot glass from under the bar, you reach for one of the nicer tequilas, something smoother that wouldn’t burn as much.  Tequila always put you in a good mood and never gave you a hangover.  Filling the shot glass, you don’t even bother looking over at Eddie or Jett, who was now sweeping broken plates into a dustpan.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”  Eddie hurries over, staring you down.  All you offer him in response is a shrug before tossing the liquor back.
Refilling the glass, you sneak a glance over at him from across the counter, his jaw dropped in shock and his face red and flushed with anger.  Steam was nearly shooting out of his ears.  The second shot is thrown back and your muscles begin to relax, anxieties melting away even at the basis of creating more problems.
If that wasn’t enough for him, you finished it off with a third shot, hoping it wouldn’t be too much all at once.  You were brave enough to look right into his eyes, daring him to say the wrong thing.  
“What are you doing?”  He asks again, calmer but still heated.
“I’m just acting how you think I should.”  You answer, a fake smile painted across your lips.
“I’m not comping those.”
His focus burns into you, lips in a tight line as he watches.  If looks could kill.  For the second time that night.  Except this time, you were on the receiving end and had you not been three shots in, it would’ve terrified you and had you apologizing profusely.
“Well, I’m not paying for them.”  You say, pouring yourself one more for good measure, swallowing it like it was water.
As you go to make your big exit, you’re faced with a harsh reality.  You’re definitely drunk, or at least very close to being drunk as the alcohol consumes your body, and you’re definitely not driving home like this.  You did not think this through.  But you kept walking anyway through the kitchen and out to the back just to lean against the concrete wall pathetically.  You were starting to wish that you’d gulped down some water before leaving to aid in sobering up.
If the sight of you leaning against the wall behind a bar at 1:12 AM wasn’t sad enough, tack on the fact that you had finally let the waterworks flow, your drunk self especially susceptible to your muddled emotions.  
“Bambi, what the fuck.  You gonna drive?”  Eddie emerges from the kitchen door leading outside, seemingly cooled down but you still don’t trust it.
“Don’t call ‘m Bambi.”  You slur. 
“What are you doing out here?”  He ignores your protest.
“‘Jus gimme a few minutes.”  You whine, eyes shut as if it would make him disappear.
“No, not a few minutes.  You’re not driving.”
You never intended on driving but you were finding it difficult to fight him off in your discombobulated state, willing to say anything to get him to leave.  Obviously he had the upper hand at this moment, clearly able to outsmart you.
“I know.”  You wail, tears on full display for him.
“I’ll drive you, let me get my keys.”  
“Nooo, wha ‘bout Jett?”  You ask, wiping away your tears, mascara coating your fingertips.
“Jett doesn't live right next door to you, you’d just be making him go out of his way for no reason.”
Snot dripping from your nose, you glare up at him, earning an expectant stare from him.  All you can do is roll your eyes, too drunk to care anymore.  You still preferred having Jett go out of his way, at least he respected you as a person.  But the argument was lost among gargled thoughts and a short term memory.
“Still mean.”  You insult, finger poking at his chest harshly.  It doesn’t do much.
It feels like hours that you two are staring at each other, likely due to the alcohol running through your system.  He hesitates in running back inside, even if just for a few seconds to grab his keys, his eyes looking you over in concern.  A muttered ‘be right back’ is heard and then he’s gone.
The stars catch your attention, drastically brighter than they would be back home, many more of them too.  A few stand out, gleaming in the sky and making them that much more admirable.  Your mind drifts off to thoughts of the Milky Way, swirling around the universe and ultimately making you feel infinitely smaller and more insignificant.  
What was your place?
Eddie steps back out, keys twirling around his fingers, straight-faced, not an ounce of amusement in his handsome features.  Glancing at him briefly, you then tilt your head back up toward the sky, dazed and almost in a trance.  If you weren’t careful, you could’ve been staring at him like that.  But you weren’t that drunk.  
Or so you thought.
Thinking about it, you must have been the spitting image of insane; mascara smeared across your face, tears glimmering in the moonlight, and your bottom lip set in a perfect pout like a child waiting to get their way.  Your bag was twisted around your body in the most uncomfortable way but you couldn’t find it in you to untwist it and realistically, you should be wearing your jacket but instead its clutched in your fist, the cold pricking at your skin and eliciting goosebumps up and down your arms.  The chattering of your teeth interrupted the silence and played as the soundtrack of your hazy daydreaming.  
It also let Eddie know that he needed to either force you to put your jacket on, or get you in the car.  And he knew he wouldn’t win that first battle so ushering you to the passenger seat it was.  
“C’mon.”  Is all he says, huffing out a breath.
You vaguely recall being helped into the passenger’s side but you don’t remember walking a few yards to actually reach the car or if you were even able to do so on your own.  From what you could tell in your state, his car was a beaten up thing, kinda old but it smelled like those little pine tree air fresheners.  
Once the scenery outside started to move, all thoughts subsided, the only one left was solely to keep yourself from vomiting all over your boss’s car.  You would stoop as low as to drink his most expensive tequila but vomiting all over his carpeted floor was another low you wouldn’t dream of wishing upon anybody.  
Trees zoomed by and you were sure you were going cross eyed from trying to keep up with each and every one.  Some metal song plays through the speakers but in your own little world, you hardly hear it, still subconsciously bobbing your head to the fading beat.
One minute you were sitting content in your dream land, the next Eddie was shoving something into your hands while urgently pulling over.  Your mind hadn’t caught up to what was happening yet however, you could vaguely make out Eddie yelling at you to aim for the bag while you stared directly into said bag.  When you glanced over at him, everything felt as if it were in slow motion and again, he was panicking while yelling at you to ‘puke in the bag!’.
The perfect cocktail of a situation for an individual so reserved and so inexperienced with this much attention.  At least most of it would be a blur by morning.
“There you go, just grab my–shoulder!  Ow!”  Eddie complains, your fingers a bit too comfortable with digging into his skin through his cotton shirt as you attempt to hoist yourself up into a standing position from the passenger seat.  
Home was only steps away and then you could collapse wherever you pleased.  Forget about this stupid night.  At least until you awakened as your regularly anxious self.  You’d have a few hours of drunken bliss to forget about life but that’s all you were allowed.  Then you would need to face your consequences, whatever they may be.  Come the morning, you most likely wouldn’t have a job anymore, Eddie would probably come knocking at your door and let you know that you blew it.  And he’d probably laugh in your face at the fact that you proved yourself to be too weak, too dainty, as he so adamantly proclaimed before.
“Oh no.”  You mumble, feeling yourself wobbling, knees giving out underneath you.
“Whoa, whoa, okay!  You’re fine, you’re fine.”  Eddie stabilizes you, arms around your waist.
Your limbs might as well be Jello at this point, rendering you a useless human unable to even stumble to your destination.  It dawns on you that you can’t remember if you even actually puked in the car or not.  Was it coating his interior or had you shoved your head in the bag just in time to spew your guts?  Or did you bravely swallow it down?  Whatever the case, Eddie doesn’t seem to currently have any grievances or any trouble touching you so you must have been somewhat responsible about it.
Your weight depends on him, leaning into his chest as he practically carries you toward the house.  Your eyes flutter repeatedly and—your question of whether you had already puked or not is quickly answered as the contents of your stomach spill out and onto his shirt before you’re able to aim for the ground.  Humiliation was starting to look like your middle name.
As you dry heave and allow a long string of saliva to drip from your mouth while hunched over in the dirt, you hear Eddie muttering several curses.  You think for sure he’s going to ditch you for creating such a stir up throughout the night until his boots come into view in front of you, his hand pulling the hair away from your face as you finish emptying your stomach.
“Okay.”  He sighs.  “Puke it out.”  A hesitant hand smoothes over your back, the lightest touch.
The smell of putrid vomit invades his nose, nausea threatening to take over him as well if he didn’t hold his breath.  Try as he may to ignore the chunks of god knows what on his shirt, it was still all that was on his mind.  He didn’t even want to chance looking down if there was the slightest possibility that it had also gotten in his hair.  Even being covered in your sick, he knows he should be fuming.  But he’s not and it's all so puzzling.  
You marched your ass behind his bar and consumed more tequila than you could handle which in turn forced him to drive you home and then you vomited all over him.  If that’s not enough reason to be pissed beyond belief then he doesn’t know what is.  Yet he remains calm and collected, running his hand between your shoulder blades as he soothes you throughout your dry heaving and gagging.
“It won’t–oh god–it won’t stop.”  You sob, looking up at him, a mixture of snot, tears, and saliva coating the lower half of your face.
You look repulsive and yet he can’t tear his eyes away from you.  The prettiest definition of repulsive he’d ever seen.
“Don’t hold it back, let it all out.  You’re only gonna feel like shit if you hold any of it in.”  He instructs, kneeling down to meet your eye level.
With a few sniffles and hiccups, you nod.  Only now you’re hyper aware of being watched.  It was a sobering experience, puking right in front of your house, not able to even make it to the nearest toilet while your boss spectates and–oh.  
It hits you that the front of his shirt is caked in your puke, bile soaking the fabric while remnants of your late lunch displays itself on his perfect black shirt.  You would never live this down and you would certainly never work another shift at The Bourbon again.  Even if he did scream at you for no good reason, you took it a few levels too far.
“Y-your shirt, oh no–”
“Relax, okay, Bambi?  I can handle a little puke, now where’s your key?”  He asks.  
It’s not that he could handle a little puke, he had to.  Because what good would it do if the two of you were both throwing up in your front yard?
Attempting to answer him, the rest of your stomach interrupts and unexpectedly spews all over his combat boots.  As if the night couldn’t get any worse.
“Shit.”  He mutters under his breath.
“‘M sorry, ‘m so sorry.”  You whimper, glassy eyes staring up at him with regret.  “I din’t mean it, I swear, m’ just–”
“I know.”  Eddie exhales.  “You done puking, is there anything else left in there?”
Shaking your head in sorrow, a few more hiccups escape your lungs but there are no further signs that you’re going to be sick again.  Even if you were, it didn’t matter anymore, Eddie was already well acquainted with your vomit, what harm would a little more do at this point?
As you start shuffling through your bag and patting at your pockets, panic settles in and you can only recall that the last place you’d seen your keys was at the bar, where you set them down to spitefully gulp down as much tequila as you could.  Now it was biting you in the ass, hard.
“Left my keys at the bar.”  You pout pitifully. 
Eddie glares at you, rightfully so.  The man was covered in foul smelling vomit, kneeling on the ground, taking care of you.
“Fucking christ.”  He mumbles.
~end~
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zoros-sheath · 1 year
Text
Magnets Masterlist
Kid x F!Reader
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• N.SFW • 95.5k Words •
• Modern AU • Ongoing •
Serial Updated Mondays!
• Playlist: YouTube or Spotify
• Read on Ao3 • WattPad •
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• Chapter 1 - "I Wanna Be Yours"
After years apart, Kid is reunited with you, his first love since childhood. You flaunt yourself in front of him, reminding him of why he wanted you for so long. However, the glaring reminder of why he never acted on his feelings walks in the door.
• Chapter 2 - "Brutal Hearts"
Kid wakes up on the couch to you sneaking back in after your dates. Once you steal his shirt and clean up, you both reminisce and catch up, stirring up his feelings as you open up about the painful reason you left your ex-fiance. Can Kid keep his hands to himself, or are you the one who spurs him on?
• Chapter 3 - "Ashes"
You and Kid fuck. That’s it, that’s the chapter.
• Chapter 4 - "Post Break-Up Sex"
Morning afters are totally great when one wakes up alone. In the sobering light of day, you and Kid have to confront what happened, and Killer…
• Chapter 5 - "You Could Be Mine"
You and kid set some ground rules and began a friends with benefits arrangement on the DL. Even still, he seems just about ready to drop anything to come see you, even if his roommates find it suspicious.
• Chapter 6 - "Through the Dark"
It’s Shitty Cinema Sibling Night, and Kid is invited. A night of food and spa treatments, and Kid and Killer wrestling for no real reason. The three of you settle in after Kid wins rights to the recliner. Killer falls asleep, you make a bold move to cozy up to Kid with your brother still in the room.
• Chapter 7 - "My Desire"
When Killer hosts a backyard barbecue for his friends, and yours tag a long, Kid starts to show off his body rather blatantly playing sports with the boys. None of this goes unnoticed, but Killer’s blood starts to boil when someone starts to show more than a friendly interest in you.
• Chapter 8 - "Chronicles of a Fallen Love"
Caught red handed, Bon Clay and Bonney convince Kid to come out with you to the club with the looming threat of exposing your secrets. You do your best to try and get kid to enjoy himself, but can he get over the secret being out?
• Chapter 9 - Candace to Arms/The Scotsman
The day of the Highland Games has arrived, and Kid is in a terrible mood. Between jealousy and awkwardness, he seems to struggle through the day. But it is when a bombshell of information lands in yours and your brother's lap that really sets the day off.
• Chapter 10 - Up The Spout
You and Killer have not talked to anyone in a week since you found out about your Step-Mom's pregnancy. Kid comes over with some beers to find Killer in his feels, and the two get down to business with more drinking. In a drunken state, Kid confronts you in the middle of the night on some fears he has.
• Chapter 11 - Pressure
While telling you about some recent developments with his roommates, Kid notices you are distracted. He is surprised to find someone from your not so distant past is bothering you, and takes it into his own hands to comfort you.
• Chapter 12 - Leave Me Alone
Kid answered your ex's phone call, and after taunting him and sending him into a near blind rage, Kid gets an idea of how to torture your ex further when you get out of the shower.
• Chapter 13 - Paint it Gold
Killer has a big choice to make that he confides in you for. The two of you spend a nice evening together and talk, which makes you start to realize that you have your own elephant in the room to address.
• Chapter 14 - Hero/Heroine
With your brother out of town, Kid wastes no time in being at your side for time alone together. When Bon Clay invites both of you over for a fancy dinner at his place. A handsome stranger makes Kid come to the realization that he needs to tell you how he feels, and asks for advice from an unlikely source.
• Chapter 15 - Follow Me Back
Kid’s time alone with you is like a dream come true. No sneaking, no hiding, no secrets. Planning an elaborate evening, he plans on finally telling you how he feels. However, when face to face with the truth and the reality, he struggles on whether or not he can do it.
• Chapter 16 - Hellfire
Your long romantic weekend with Kid comes to a close when you have to return to work. Nobody likes Mondays, especially when your terrible boss forces a meeting at the end of the day. Thank god you have Kid to distract you from your work.
• Chapter 17 - Fools In Love
With your meeting over, you take a page from Kid's book and decide to take matters into your own hands, doling out a fair and just punishment. In the aftermath of your bliss, the two of you come to the reality that there really could be something more between the two of you.
• Chapter 18 - Unfold
The secret is officially out, and Killer now knows everything. You attempt to talk things out with your brother, but when he points the finger directly at you, things fall apart when Kid hesitates.
• Chapter 19 - Touch
In the fallout of his actions, Kid finds himself in his feels, gaining support and help from the most unexpected places. When given the information he needs to find you, he finds himself face to face with the idea you may have already moved on.
• Chapter 20 - Bad Mood
Kid sees nothing but red with you standing there in Marco's place, surprising no one when he starts swinging.
• Chapter 21 - Holocene
Now at the hospital, Kid remembers a time he and Killer said they would always be there for each other. As Kid beats himself up for letting everyone down, he gets comfort from the most unlikely source.
• Chapter 22 - Peppermint and Glue
When you awake from a dream of Kid, you feel the weight of the world crushing down around you, until Killer finally opens his eyes. Now comes the time for the two of you to talk. Will he be receptive toward your feelings for his best friend?
• Chapter 23 - Maybe (Luck of the Draw)
Kid rushes to the hospital after Killer finally opens the line of communication. Their reunion has its own ups and downs, but when Killer encourages Kid to speak to you, he wastes no time at all in searching for you. Will he finally be able to say the words he had only said in secret to himself?
• Chapter 24 - FCKIN IN LOVE
(Coming Soon 4/1/2024)
• Chapter 25 - Home
(Coming Soon 4/1/2024)
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bunniesghost · 1 year
Text
୨⎯ "Wait, What’s Your Name?”⎯୧
🪞
Simon “Ghost” Riley X Fem!Reader
Warnings: Abusive Parent, mental health issues, physical abuse, manipulation, mention of death of a minor character
Summary: You become the roommate to a soldier who barely is home. Desperate to leave your Abusive Household, you call the number of the flyer that was on the corkboard of the coffee shop. This soldier didn’t even know your name when he left you his keys. When will you see him next?
A/N: Literally my first fanfic but hope y’all like it. Inaccurate army information. ALSO THIS WILL BECOME A PREGNANCY AU SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT TROPE, YOU SHOULD STOP READING
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
Of course you called the phone number posted on the flyer on the cork board of the coffee shop. Going out of your house due to your mother screaming at you as soon as you woke up.
5 AM to get your morning routine done and get ready for school since you decided to take morning classes. Which you don’t regret cause you get to be out of the house.
Away from your mom.
Never having a good relationship with your mom since your father passed away when you were 15.
Always being a Daddy’s girl and her always out of the house, you didn’t think much of it. But once he passed away, she was forced to pay attention to you. Verbally abusing you because she’s a widow and single mother to a teenager who apparently is selfish and hates her mother.
She didn’t drink due to her not liking the taste and she never started after he died, so you knew these were sober thoughts.
Never was there to meet your new relationship. Never was there to see you get your driver's license.
Never was there to see you graduate from High school. Never was there to see you get into your dream school. Never was there for the good things.
Just the bad things
Like when you dropped a plate and it shattered on the floor.
That was the first time she hit you.
A harsh Slap and yelling in your face.
You got into a car accident that left your car ruined. The insurance money given to her due to the car being under your name. Never seeing that money or getting a new car.
You had your high school sweetheart over at her house when she wasn’t home. Seeing the shoes of someone she didn’t recognize. Storming into your bedroom and seeing you making out with someone in your room.
Let’s just say you got dumped by text right after.
Or when she accused you of stealing her boyfriend at the time. Him always greeting you and saying his goodbyes. The relationship only lasted 2 weeks and when he went into your bedroom to see your school project that you were currently working on. Your mother didn’t like that she could hear mumbles of him speaking to someone. Someone as you.
She came into your bedroom immediately accusing him of taking advantage of her little girl, and kicking him out. Right after he left, she slapped you and dragged you to the ground. Screaming at you for apparently stealing her boyfriend.
“YOU FUCKING WHORE!”
You were only 16.
As soon as you turned 18, you got access to your dads Will. He left you most of his money, which your mother was clearly not happy about. You used some of the money to buy yourself a new car and saved the rest to be able to move out of this hell.
Each time you threaten your mom of moving out, she would always beg you to stay and would apologize to you.
The apology ended the next day when you came home late due to your job needing extra help to close and clean up. Opening the door to your mother sitting in on coach and coming towards you with her hand up, ready to slap you.
Now you are 20 and have had enough. Waking up at the time you always do. You decided to wash the dishes your mother left last night, so she wouldn’t yell at you once you got home and ate getting told that you are useless and do nothing for this household.
You didn’t realize she woke up due to the water in the sink being on. She immediately started yelling at you for being so loud in the morning and started to hit you in your rib cage and slap you in your face.
You decided after she was done, to get out of the house and drive to your school. Leaving without your coat or school backpack.
Tears blurring your vision and heavy breathing makes it hard to breathe. You pulled over to a coffee shop because you didn’t want to get or cause an accident.
You steady yourself before you get out of the car. Putting on a smile for the world.
You get out your phone so you can distract yourself. You noticed you got an email from both your professors for today. Both canceled class due to an emergency occurring in their life. They are both married to each other and one of them was pregnant so you can assume she went into labor.
Now you had to figure out what to do for the rest of the day.
As you walked into the coffee shop, you were hit with the smell of richness from the coffee beans. Now you had to figure out what you wanted to order.
After ordering a small drink, due to your lack of appetite, thanks to your mother. You looked over and saw a cork board full of flyers. So you walked over and saw bands, volunteer work and nearby events.
“Y/n”
The barista called your name, indicating that your drink was ready.
But as soon as you were about to walk away from the paper covers wall, you saw a flyer that read
‘Roommate wanted’
You saw phone numbers cut out of the paper so you could take one, and so you did.
Grabbing your drink, you walked out and got into your car. Staring at this phone number in your hand.
Should you call it? I mean do you think it’s time to finally use that Will money? You had all this time to get out of that hell hole but your mom always saying that she needed you. And you not quite ready to let go of the home your father bought after 13 years of paying rent to finally owning the house that you grew up in.
Is it time?
Yes it is
So you start to dial the number.
“Hello?”
Wow that’s a deep voice
“H-Hi..I’m calling cause I saw that you wanted a roommate..” you stuttered.
“Oh right. Are you available right now?”
“Um..yes I am..do you want to meet up right now?”
“Yes, I’m about to leave to work so if you can come right now, you could probably move in today if you want.” The guy spoke
“Oh..just like that? You asked because you were surprised.
“Yeah, I’m not here most of the time so- I’ll tell you once you arrive.”
“Oh o-ok, I’ll be there in like…wait where do you live?” You just realized that you didn’t check the location.
“Did you really not read all of it?..”
“N-no..” you said in a quieter voice
The guy sighed “I’ll text you the address and I’ll wait here. Just tell me if it won’t work before you get here.”
You said your goodbyes and hung up the phone.
He sounded nice.
You check the location he sent and it’s actually much closer to your school. It’s almost an hour away so you decided to start your car immediately and make your way there.
You texted him that you were in the parking lot and he said he’ll meet you in the lobby. Wow this place has a lobby and looks very well kept. Definitely on the expensive side but the Will money and your job can keep you afloat for a while. You wait
You’re waiting in the lobby, when a huge bulky guy in a black military suit comes out of the elevator. You look away but when he comes and stands right in front of you, you look up at him.
“Are you waiting for someone?”
“Oh..it’s you..” you spoke in a surprise voice
“And it’s you, let’s head upstairs so I can show you the apartment.” The guy spoke and started walking to the elevator. You followed along getting on and watched the doors closed.
The 9th floor was the top floor and you were heading up there. Silence filling the small space as the elevator kept going until you heard the ding and the doors opened up. He walked out first and started walking to the only door in the small lobby room for the only apartment. So like a penthouse then?
He opened the door and made it so you walked in first. You were still near the elevator so you had to walk fast to get in. Him going in and closing the door, he started to speak.
“This is my living space that I’m rarely in and really need someone to just take over the space and actually live in it really.” He spoke
“So you’re in the army?” You asked an obvious question.
“Yes, that’s why I’m rarely here. I can show you the two empty bedrooms that I don’t use.”
Did you even use the house? The walls are bare and there’s no decoration at all, just a sofa, coffee table, Big Flat screen, a two seat dinner table, bar stools in the island, and a set of knives. Wow you had a lot of work to do.
“I cleaned up a bit so the floors and walls weren’t dirty, that’s why it smells like lemons.” He explained to you.
Oh wow, lemons
“Well, I’m fine with just one room but don’t you need my information first before I can move in?” You asked him a question that you’ve been thinking about.
“I don’t have time but if you just send me the information, I’ll give it to the army household keepers and they’ll take care of it.” He explained
“Oh, is this provided by the army?” You asked
“No but they just help me out because they know me. So don’t worry about that stuff.”
“So does that mean you’ll move in?”
“Sure.” You told him
“Alright I have to go, I’m an hour late and base is 30 minutes away so, I guess I’ll see you whenever.”
As he was leaving you realized you didn’t know his name. Or he knew yours.
“Wait, what’s your name?” You asked him right as his hand was about to open the door.
“Oh right, it’s Simon.”
Simon
“I-I’m Y/n.”
“I’ll see you soon, Y/n.”
He then closed the door and you were left in this big empty looking house.
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
Reblogs and likes are appreciated! Let me know any feedback!
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WIP Wednesday Thursday
Happy Thursday y'all! It's been a while since I gave an update on the Dancing with the Stars Dieter fic, Closed Position.
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As mentioned before, I do not plan to fully dive into this fic and start posting until Destiny & Deliverance has been completed. However, there is only one chapter and the epilogue left (I'm not ready). Since, it's not that far off...I have started working on my outline for dancing Dieter. More below the cut. 👇
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I have it planned out fairly well, so I am sharing my chapter list with you today. This could change slightly when I start digging in, but this is the format I'm going with:
Prologue
Introductions
Week 1 - Foxtrot
Week 2 - Cha Cha
Week 3 - Jive
Week 4 - Rumba
Week 5 - Argentine Tango
Week 6 - Paso Doble
Week 7 - Jazz
Week 8 - Viennese Waltz
Week 9 - Quickstep
Week 10 - Samba
Week 11 - Finale
Epilogue
I've been doing a ton of homework on the show, so I plan to incorporate a lot of crazy behind the scenes stuff that actually happens and makes for an entertaining plot. Anyone down for a weekly spray tan? No? Dieter isn't a fan either.
This fic will not be anywhere near as angsty as D & D. However, some tough topics are mentioned, mostly relating to Kat's (OFC) asshole ex who will be very present as another professional dancer on the show. Then of course, Dieter's issues with drugs and alcohol are discussed too. He will be sober in this fic, but early on in his journey. Still very much our loveable, hot mess trash panda though.
I would like to do a lot more extras with this fic. I plan to share some inspiration videos for each chapter so you will have a visual of the dances. I think it will help you understand what ultimately causes Dieter and Kat to fall for each other. If nothing else, the visuals are just hot AF.
There will be a lot of Latin dances, just because we have to show off Dieter's loose hips. You know there are going to be jokes about that. I feel like it's a good excuse to take Dieter's button allergy up a few notches too. 😏 Here is a sexy little Rumba video to get us started. This dance may or may not be the one that gets them in trouble...🤐
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Series Summary: Dieter Bravo was looking to change his bad boy image and clean up his act after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble. 
Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dance partner to one of Hollywood’s biggest stars to go the same as it had for the past nine seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo. 
Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.
If you would like to be added to my taglist for this fic, feel free to comment below or shoot me a message and I will get you added.
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Tagging all my usuals. If this isn't a fic you would like to be tagged on, let me know and I will remove you. 😉
@rhoorl @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @wannab-urs @cakipy-blog @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury @missladym1981 @maried01 @alokaerza @samiamproductions @misstokyo7love @themonadiaries-blog @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @avastrasposts @weho2kcmo @harriedandharassed @tkchaos @girlofchaos @yghuibt @musings-of-a-rose @secretelephanttattoo @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @linzels-blog @morallyinept @undercoverpena @sin-djarin @trulybetty @goodwithcheese @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @myloveistoolittle @annieispunk @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat @copperhalfcent
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pynkgothicka · 6 months
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Tear You Apart JHS & MYG
Synopsis - While out clubbing you meet two very friendly strangers. (Part 5 of the Monster Series)
Pairing - Yandere! Dark! Vampire! Min Yoongi & Jung Hoseok x AFAB! Reader
Featuring - Issa Rae and Hunter Schafer
Tags and Warnings - Death, Hypnosis, Vampire stuff, abduction
Authors Note - One more fic in the series!!!
“This club fucking sucks!!” Issa yelled over the sound the loud club music. So far the night was filled with bad shots, creepy men, and all around bad music. And you agreed, this club was literally the last place you wanted to be.
Hunter stood next to you on her phone looking for literally anywhere else to go. She let out a loud gasp and stuffed her phone between both you and Issa. “Guys! There's that new club downtown! It looks like it's gothic themed! Certainly they know how to party.” Issa raised a brow at the suggestion.
“Girl, we aren't goths.” Issa says simply.
“Yeah she's right, literally we'll stick out like a sore thumb.” You added.
“Attention! Duh. Listen we can stay here and get harassed by jocks or we meet some new people at the new vampire goth club. Which will it be?” Hunter said raising both hands. You rolled your eyes and smiled.
“So your saying that instead of bringing home douche bags we bring home goths?” Issac said her eyes seemingly thinking. “Checks out with me, how about you girl?”
You looked at Issa and rolled your eyes jokingly. “Fine, let's go!”
🦇
“Shit this place rocks!” Hunter said. You all went back to your shared apartment to at change into more darker clothes and makeup. Yet you all still stuck out like sore thumbs.
Yet this worked as Issa had already found some guy who interested her and you and Hunter danced with a group of girls. Bauhaus echoed in the background as you moved across the floor practically drifting aimlessly. However you would make eye contact with two men who stood on the wall watching you. Their gazes were sharp, but you brushed it off and kept dancing.
Hunter tapped your shoulder and you turned around. “Hey can you go get us some drinks?” She said dancing with you. Giving her a small smile, you nodded and headed to the red lit bar. You order two Bloody Marys, which you found somewhat hilarious to be served. You stood at the bar waiting patiently but were startled by a hand on your shoulder.
“You've never been to a goth club I bet.” One of them said smirking.
“Jesus! You both scared the shit out of me.” You said trying to catch your breath. The one with darker hair laughed and smiled.
“Sorry! We just got curious, your fashion is just not what you'd see here usually.” He continued. His friend kept looking at you, blinking rarely. You looked back at him but then returned to speaking with the main friend.
“And how do you know that huh? I could frequent these clubs a lot.”
“You don't trust me. You have that lost look in your eyes. Shit I forgot to introduce myself I'm Hoseok. And he's Yoongi.” You took Hoseoks hand, but shuddered at how cold his skin was. You pulled away laughing awkwardly. It almost drained you, touching him.
Then the drinks you were supposed to give Hunter slid in front of you. Taking them you almost nodded them both off but were stopped by Yoongi stepping in front of you.
“Aw you're leaving? Before you got one of our numbers?” Yoongi said snickering, surprising you that he would even speak to you. He took a sharpie from a nearby jar and wrote his number on your arm. “You should invite us over when you're not the ‘sober companion’” He added snickering. You didn't tell him that at all so you just nodded and stepped away.
You were going to clean that sharpie off your arm immediately.
🦇
Turns out that soon would arrive quicker than expected, as not even a week later you walked into your apartment to see Yoongi, Hoseok, Issa, and Hunter hanging out in the living room. The girls seemed intoxicated or in a daze as they were glad naked and dancing in front of them.
You stepped back and turned around walking out of the door and trying to close it quietly. You'd just return tomorrow, it wasn't your place to question the beginning of what was happening. Letting out a sigh you began to almost walk away.
That was until you were yanked into the house the door locking behind you.
“Hey!!” Hunter drunkenly yelled hiccuping as she grabbed both of your arms harshly. Shed never been this strong, in fact she was quiet weak compared to you. “Come on now the party was missing you!” She slurred practically dragging you to the living room. Her eyes had a weird cloudy look to them. You couldn't get a good look as she pushed you onto the couch in between the men.
Almost immediately Yoongis hand went to your thigh. You shivered but didn't move as Hunter and Issa drunkenly collapsed on the love seat. With a snap of Hoseoks fingers, they became sleepier and drowsier. Until they were both asleep. “Let us go!” You yelled struggling against Yoongis harsh grip on your thigh.
“You don't want that do you? You never texted us you know… broke poor Yoongis heart.” Hoseok spoke to you in a babyish voice. Yoongis head fell on your shoulder, him almost purring at your warm skin on his own cold one. “It's almost a rightful punishment, eye for a eye.”
“What even are you guys…?” You questioned but got your answer as you felt two sharp spikes poke at your neck. You tried to push away but Hoseok grabbed your chin forcing you to look at him. Your body fell in a trance as the pain of Yoongis fangs entering your body was dull and almost non existent.
Hoseok connected your lips, passionately kissing you. His fangs grazed your bottom lip, giving quiet moans into your mouth. “We thought you were so beautiful… and the fact that you're also a virgin… that made you even sexier.” Yoongi mumbled against your neck. He sucked at your skin peppering kisses on the bite. He licked it and pulled away. “She's so fucking good. Virgin blood, it's always so good… Come get a taste.”
Hoseok pulled away from your mouth as he went to your chest, taking a bite at your collarbone. Hoseok began to suck, this time the pain hurting. You hissed feeling your life almost drain away. Your eyes stared at your friends, seeing as they've already been drained. Bite marks littered their bodies and yet you couldn't even do anything about it as you're now their victims. Yoongi took Hoseoks arm and pulled at it making Hoseok pull away. “Don't kill her, I want to keep her…” Yoongi mumbled his body now falling on your thighs, kissing at them. The horror of your blood, turning into kiss marks on your body terrified you.
“I wasn't going to I swear. I just got lost in it all… sorry.” Hoseok said quietly. “So we're bringing her back right?” Yoongi nodded eagerly. And Hoseok kissed your lips again, as he snapped your body going limp. Your vision clouded as you laid against Hoseoks body. His hand went to your hair, stroking fondly.
“What about them?” Yoongi says pointing at Hunter and Issa. Hoseok shrugged and kept his focus on comforting you, yet you couldn't even see what was happening. But you began to cry, silently your lips trembling. Hands went to wipe your tears by what you could assume was Hoseok. You didn't even hear nor see your friends fate by you did feel Yoongi come near you again. “It's okay, we got you… we'll take care of you baby… we just have to tear you apart and rebuild you.”
Let me know through a dm or ask to be included in my official Taglist- @darkuni63 @fangirl-death-rose @captainengineer-trixie @chimmisbae @iloverubberduckiez-blog @mageprincess7 @looneybleus @whipwhoops
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urmom2bitch · 1 month
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I love you (C.S)
A/N: This is my first ficccc I honestly don't like it but Yolo. Also this was supposed to be an angst but it kinda changed to a fluff!
Warnings⚠️!!!: Crying, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex, cursing, use of y/n and yeah I think that's!
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It's around 12 am and Chris went to another part without me this week all because according to him I would ruin his chances with the girls.
"Look kid I know the past few party's I've gone to I told you you couldn't come but, I kinda wanna get laid and you'll scare the bitches away"
"Jesus Chris don't get too drunk please"
"you know I will" Chris laughs as he walks out the door
Cute little time skip
After 2 hours of sitting in Chris's room Nick barged in.
"bitch there's no way he went to another party without you to get pussy" He said almost yelling
"it's not a big deal, Nick He has needs"
"I'm not dealing with his drunk ass tonight kid."
After that we hung out and watched a movie till we heard
"Go fuck yourself bitch!" Followed by a car door slamming
All three of us instantly ran outside knowing it was Chris.
"Holy shit Chris what the fuck happened!" Nick yelled at the top of his lungs
"this really big dude got told me he was gonna hurt y/n if I kept talking to her so I hit him and fuck he hit back" he stumbled over his worlds as he talked with tears falling down his face
"baby I'm sorry I didn't let you come with me" Chris said in-between sobs
I couldn't even process what he said before I spoke
"it's okay Hun c'mon let's get you to bed"
After I cleaned Chris up I laid him down so he could go to sleep.
"Y/n I think I love you" he spoke as he opened his eyes slightly
"well we've been best friends since we were 5 I wouldn't expect less" I laughed while playing with his hair
"No Y/n I love you I really do" he said trying not to stutter
"Say that when you're sober hunny" I laughed slightly
"N-no y/n I mean it I really do I really fuckin do" he started crying again and sat up looking me in the eyes
"it's easy for you to say that now but you are also very drunk and you need to sleep hunny. We can talk in the morning" I said wiping his tears
"fine"
A/n- I borderline hate this but oh well 😭😭
@lustfulslxt
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benadryldaydreams · 2 months
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U guys I’m feeling really good, I am almost 5 days sober I’m over 24 hrs nicotine free although I’ve ordered a lot of food the last few days I’m getting a meal kit box delivered I’m gonna have 4 dinners prepped for me to cook I’m gonna get groceries tmrw it was really difficult for me to stay sober last night but I’m almost to a week I’m gonna clean my room and start going through my junk drawer and box tmrw figure out what I don’t need when I move some things I’ve just been bringing along with me for the last 3 years through my moves to all 4 places I’ve lived and I haven’t touched them once lolll everything always works out for me this move will too I’m really nervous but excited and I’m doing rlly well right now!!
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whywhaatt · 9 months
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write some angst. huge sad angst. argument? sure! fucking idk make me cry. any cc, idc, just make me sad.
we got some sad shit baby💪💪💪
"You need to leave." (big t x reader)
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words: 1.368
a/n: ok so basically... i just got drunk, then when i was sober i wrote how i was thinking. sorry if its hard to read but have fun :)
warnings: alcohol mention + use, yelling, and a whole lot of cussing
-
Tanner is getting on my god damn nerves. Last night, I spent the night alone in my apartment and dressed for a date that did not happen. Every text and call I send him I get no answer. I can't tell if I'm supposed to be upset, worried, or pissed off but somehow I'm feeling all three.
For context, we've had this date planned for a couple of weeks. It's already been postponed due to my job or random things Nick asks him to do. And after 3 weeks, we finally both had a free day to have a simple and good date.
15 missed calls, 50+ texts, and 10 hours later I just parked my car in front of Tanner's house. I've gotta calm down. It could've been a mistake, a stupid mistake at that but we all mistakes. No what am I thinking, he deserves to get yelled at. So many thoughts are going through my head. At one point I'm pissed off, but on the other I don't know what happened.
I grab my shit, locking my car behind me, and walk up to the front door. Giggling at the "gay" welcome mat, I ring the door bell... no answer. Okay? I'll just ring it again... no answer again. What is going on? Nick's room is right here, at least he should be able to hear it.
I'm calling Nick.
"Hello?" He picks up the phone.
"Hey Nick, I'm outside. Can you let me in?"
"Yeah sure, one sec" He hangs up. A couple of seconds later, the door opens. A simple "thanks" comes out my mouth all muffled as I shove past Nick to walk towards Tanner's room. Isaac sitting on the couch, looks up and let's me know Tanner's still asleep. Great. Just great... I don't want to wake him up in a bad mood.
Whatever. He deserves it. I need to know what happened. I slam open his door to see him laying in bed sound asleep, with alcohol bottles covering his desk and his sweatpants on the floor next to the bed. His room's a mess, well when isn't it really? The only time its considered to be clean is when you clean it.
He must've heard the door open, cus he slowly wakes up and turns over to see me standing in his room.
"Baby, w-what are you doing here?" he asks so innocently.
"What am I doing here?? I should be asking what you're doing here?" I'm basically yelling.
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean?!? What do I- uh. I can't with you. We had a date planned for last night!"
"Wha- OH!! Baby, baby please come here. Please come here I'm so sorry."
'No- No absolutely not. What did you do last night? Tell me."
"I-I was drinking with Isaac and Yumi. We played that stupid truck sim game and streamed. Then I just drank and watched anime until I passed out I guess." He admits. What. The. Fuck. I must've said that out loud cus Tanner immediately started to apologize again, "I'm so sorry baby, I completely forgot. Please let me make it up to you".
"No, I'm going home. You better find a way to make this better" I say as I walk out his room and closing the door behind me. The guys must've heard it all happen, cus I could feel Isaac and Nick staring at me as I walk out the front door. I didn't say a word, I just kept my head low and kept walking towards my car. Once I got in my car I just needed to scream.
FUCK.
Okay, that's a little bit better.
-
I got home and immediately turned my phone completely off, tossing it on my night stand and not looking back. I just need to do something else, get my mind off of what just happened. I need a drink. I grab some alcohol from the mini fridge I keep next to my desk. It's a vodka kind of day.
5 shots in...
10 shots in...
20 gulps in...
fuuuck. maybe i should've stopped like 20 sips ago. were those even considered sips? they were too big to be sips. my brain is fuzzzzyyy.
i gottta admiT what i said to Tanner was fuckked up, but i don't mean any of it. I should text him. N-NO!! I'm not texting him.
But I miss him, no I dont. fuck im crying now. ok this is happeninggg. I need to lay down. go lay on the bed. okay. im on the bed now.
knock knock knock
what. what the fuck was what.
knock knock knock
there it is again. am i dying? fuck. is that god? it's getting louder
knock knock knock
oh wait. its my frontt dooor. silly me. i'll go open it. come on body get up. one steep at a time.
"Baby. You scared me." oohhhh iits tanner.
"H-H-Heeeeeeeyyyy Taaaannnerrrrr" wait no i'm mad at him. actually, i'm just falling, oh shit.
"Oh my god, let's get you in bed. Come on" heee says while catching me, he's so strongg. i can feel his muscles, oh my god.
im laying down now. in my bed, i don't remember getting here. oh yeah Tanner.
"Y-Youu, youung sir, you neeed to leave" i slur outt, hehe.
"I'm not leaving you like this"
"Buuut. I'm mad at you a-a-and so you need to leave."
"Just go to-"
-
I woke up in pajama's and a massive headache. What the-
"Are you okay?" Oh. I remember now. I shake my head yes and sit up to see Tanner sitting on the foot of my bed. God, I'm regretting a lot of shit now.
"Baby... I'm so sorry. Can we talk about this? I need to apologize a lot." He says, so quiet it's basically a whisper. He looks up at me meeting my eyes. Was he.. crying? His eyes were all puffy and his hair was all messed up.
"Look, I fucked up. I know I did. But, baby, please forgive me for it. This is the first date I've missed in the forever the fuck long we've been dating. You didn't deserve that. You don't deserve that. I tried to think of all the things I could buy you, or do for you, to make up. But truthfully, the best option was being here for you and letting you know I care.
"I know you don't want to hear this right now, but I love you. I love you so fucking much. At the end of the day, I would choose you over anybody. Please, baby, just forgive me so I can forgive myself." Tanner whispers, a few tear leaving his eyes.
"It's sad, the first thought I had is that you were cheating on me. Then I thought you died, or just decided you hated me. I spent all of last night on the couch crying in the outfit I would've worn. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I just let my emotions get the best of me. You just... You really scared me. I thought I lost you." I confess. I can't make eye contact with him. I close my eyes as streams of tears run down my face and onto the pillow I've been holding. I feel the bed shift and I think Tanner got up and walked away, but suddenly I feel a pair of arms wrap around me.
-
For the past 30 minutes Tanner and I have been doing the 3 C's: cuddling, crying, and comforting.
"Relationships are hard" I think aloud.
"Yeah but we make it work." Tanner says, kissing my neck. My head is still pounding from all the alcohol I had, I can imagine Tanner was feeling the same when I yelled at him. To whoever said relationships were supposed to be easy, fuck you. It's hard to put your total 100% trust and love into one person all the time. And on top of that, you get that back. Plus work, or school, and making sure you're still taking care of yourself.
"I'm glad I have you" I confess.
Today was a long ass day.
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a/n: this one is shorter, but i honestly cried while writing it. sorry if the drunk part is too hard to read!! requests are open so do whatever you will with that information. love yall, and thank you so much for all the support
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nityarawal · 1 year
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3/23/23
Dear Courts-
This is my testimony for myself & Carol Lund with her husband Keith.
I was slumlorded out of Joan Grandizio's home at the "Freedom Farm," at 
59605 Grandon Road in Turweleger community of Anza, CA in January.
I started working with Joan on a referral from our handyman Ryan Wickoff. 
He said she fired him for no good reason. He was going to move in. 
So we hired Eddy Lyons - another kind handyman to investigate the trailer I was buying to tow to her farm in Sep. 
Eddy also still needs to be paid for that service! We both did this in good faith and spent a day in Pine Cove with the owner Oceana Cotton.
Eddy also witnessed this kind of abuse at Barbara Bradford's farm after her maintenance guy raped me! She stole most if my furniture and storage!
I was living at Kosh's airbnb in Pinyon at 69907 Averill Drive, Mountain Center, CA 92561 at the time. 
We found out Kosh's well water was polluted (and spreading giardia!)
I passed a parasite worm there for 1st time in life after 1000's of cleanses because of dozens of foul rentals & dirty hospitals/court violence!
Then I moved next door to Mary Schmitz's animal rescue Farm at:
62950 Pinyon Dr
Mountain Center CA 92561 
Moonrise Ranch ✨🐎🏕😊
To a dirty teepee she said was cleaned and 2 geckos crawled under stomach 1st night!
I cleaned her farm for months 24/7 (and it appeared deeply neglected for months.)
I told Mary we needed someone to tow trailer in October and she said her ex boyfriend Sean was going to steal it for himself! ): 
I asked her to advise him not to since she's a realtor and this was my verbal disclosure of my plan to buy it- because she said we could move it to her farm- and I only needed someone to tow it. 
I said it was mean and she drunkenly laughed it off. 
All her instruments were stolen too! (I have pictures of them so we can return them to rightful owners!)
She must be looting all her clients because she stole 3 guitars and all my roomful of assets since I took this job with Joan in January and won't let me go home! 
They also blocked me from water and home many times while I was at Elliots- locking me out late at night and in bad weather!
Oceana Cotton had promised to sell trailer to me or give it to Stevie and Joleen. 
Stevie now has cancer of dick & needs his home returned! (It was indeed stolen!)
Joan liked my handyman Eddy Lyons but fired him too for being friends with her "hated" tenants Carol & Keith and not obeying her "silencing" orders.
Finally, in January things were unbearable tending to Mary's 6 sick dogs while she battled alcoholism- she'd moved me to one of her 5 boyfriend's fathers home: Dan Elliot senior at:
61283 Chalet DR.
MOUNTAIN CENTER, CA
92561.
She promised he was sober- yet I had to ask him and friends not to do crystal meth in house because I'm really allergic and its illegal- cleaned needles up from whole property! I told him this condemned his house as a realtor, I'm allergic to Nazi drugs and don't want to ever see or smell it in a house! 
He was living in his Inherited Probate getting slumlorded by siblings in court stressed out of his head ill. Feds were terrorizing him too and Kosh on late payments with drone trespassing.
So I cooked, cleaned, provided food- gave him all my money and was his slave for months after being enslaved to Mary at her farm- and now Joan doxed my location to cops on brobes for months at her home & camping in snow.
I stayed one week at Dennis Sketchleys- a handyman that gave me a tick in my bed- when he slumlorded me from 54399 valleyview and tollgate/country club homes and beat me. I promised never to go on his property again but was desperate in snow! 
Then Dennis kicked me out after Mary's client Jessie was murdered at her airbnb tree house listing with Mike in Pine Cove. 
(I really need assets from Divorce Dissolution so I don't have to rent from ex-cons and field their abuse!)
Joan hired me to move to her Landers rescue with Glen; he's her 400 pound laborer that is ill from inhumane conditions- he can no longer walk- and rides machines around property hobbling to tend to animals.
There was no hot water or kitchen.
Joan offered me her "clean" Dome house. I got there after dark and took her word that it'd been cleaned for me. 
The bed was filthy and floors covered in dirt I saw in morning. 
Joan wanted me to take over Glen's job at her Lander's farm.
She said Glen was making: $400/mo at
$15/hour and she covered Phone payments, 2 days off, 25 hours a week for Morning feedings with Blankets on horses,
Checking on all cat & pippy Litters.
Puppies- are in-door & out-door with Double gates. Glen used Tractor to take
Manure to dumpster with Wheelbarrow.
She was marketing Earthen domes on camp websites. She said there was no
Kitchen which doesn't seem legal. 
I could see Glen wouldn't live long when I got there with such I'll health abd depression in substandard room even though he's my age! 
I worked for several days alongside them all training with him and encouraged Joan to keep him too. 
(He doesn't have anywhere to go and depends on his job and is very subservient and hard working despite Joan's demands. He nods as told to colleagues/tenants like obedient slave despite physical handicaps from her grossly neglected abd functionally obsolete animal shelters!)
Glen promised to put in hot water and a shower in a bathroom within a week since there was nowhere to clean up properly and it was very cold and windy. I was freaking out with no shower after 2 days of cleaning pig & horse / puppy/cat shit.
Joan asked me to come back to her Anz farm to work on contracts. 
She said I'd be doing the work exchange like Glen taking over his job. 
Joan gave me very detailed directions to her property. 
She said:
"10:30 a.m.
Come down mtn to Rancho Mirage
74 straight
10 west
Hwy 62
29 palms
Windmills
Yucca valley (call Joanne) 
Old women springs rd -Hwy 247- left (north)
20 miles to
Reche Rd. 
Curves to right - turn right
Pass
Landers post office - GPS
5-10 min away 
Left see Moose Lodge
Next White Building
Says Billfs Hall
Left on Gibraltar (if get to end of Gibralter - Gone too far- see back of property.)
1 block f/ end
About mile
Knox- ni-man - (right)
(Applegate way should say)
Pass abandoned house
Next property 
Will see 1 8th 1
(JOANS)
TELEPHONE POLE
58562
METAL EAGLE DANCER
CHURCH- JESUS SAVES
STORAGE"
So I think it's supposed to be:
58562 Applegate Way? 
Or Knox-ni-man? 
(Note: She failed to mention if it was Gibralter Ave or Dr. And they're side by side. How many have they tricked & trashed cars on tow? 
Please present my full letter!)
But the 2nd day I was there I came home one night from getting groceries and Must've passed Gibralter and took a second Gibralter on Left! 
Joan failed to mention there were two Gintralter roads parallel next to each other in my notes as you can see. 
So I end up at the end of this road with a deserted house in the sand. 
I looped around to see where I went wrong on directions and came back to dead end with abandoned house confused. 
I tried to circle out and got stuck in a sand driveway.
 I called Glen to get me and he said put car in reverse or neutral and slammed my car right into the back side of his truck! 
He promised his friend would fix it next day but failed to follow up. I've written them both many times!
I sent Joan the bill for over $3000 and she's shirking her responsibility to all employees that have worked for her.
She invited me back to Freedom Farm in Anza to shower and use her kitchen. 
She said everything was hers in refrigerator and insisted I help myself. 
She wanted to do the contract with me so I paid $40 to download a work exchange rental but she wouldnt sit down and focus on it for several days. She has added from parasites!
Her agenda was to wrongfully evict her tenants!
I told Joan I don't go to court or talk to police due to PTSD. 
She wanted me to go to the Courthouse with her to smear the tenants and I said I can't go to court. 
I asked her to drop me at a park or mall while I wait for her. 
She refused to drop me off and finally I had to get out at curb of Murietta Courthouse and wait for hours in the landfill across street. 
She had no sympathy for PTSD I have from domestic in-house terrorism of courts! 
Then she grilled me about my divorce and lack of settlements all day.
Since then I found out psychiatrist courts kidnapped me to Dr. Singh Was advertising my head for a Probate murder at Moreno Valley Hospital for Riverside Health. 
We feel Joan took bribes on all employee heads for court and is contentious.
Joan failed to sit and focus on contract all weekend because she was obsessed with wrongfully Evicting her tenants! 
I told her I can't Get involved- as my custody battle is priority of my life- and I don't have energy to deal with inhumane actions to people. 
For an animal rescue- we could all see she was being careless and cruel to all of us employees.
Joan told me her lawyer got ill visiting her and had to have his leg amputated when he was recently there and put me on a couch on the enclosed porch waiting room. She said Glen had slept there before me and didn't want me to open it into a bed. 
We feel Joan was intentionally spreading germ warfare. 
All the employees were traumatized by her lawyers diseased fate serving her and she never cleaned out his room. 
When I went into it I vomited and disease is rampant in her homes.
Joan instructed me to never speak to tenants Carol & Keith. 
She said she'd trained Glen just to nod at them. This is not my way but I was trying to be a loyal servant so followed orders. Carol & Keith were confused by my silence and scared having a stranger on property they weren't introduced to, so it put me in a uncomfortable, and compromised position.
One night I was in kitchen making tea and Joan called on speaker phone. 
Carol & Keith heard and were also in kitchen. 
Joan kept calling Carol "fatty" loudly on my phone and screaming other nasty names goading her on my speaker phone from Landers, meanwhile putting me in harms way with her upset and bullied tenants in THEIR kitchen! 
I also ate some potato salad and salami- because Joan said everything was hers- when in fact it was the tenants! That caused alot if drama! I paid Carol back $5 and decided to testify for her rather than Joan!
On Saturday- which was supposed to be my day off- Joan called and texted over a dozen times from morning to night about her tenant dispute harassing us. 
I told her I needed some rest from her drama. 
She wanted to call cops on tenants. 
I said if she needs to do that let me know- so I could leave.
 I have an extremely clean and prudent history despite many court contentious people like Joan trying to take bribes on head in ponzi scam against moms and lying in smear campaigns.
Joan knew I was just diagnosed with PTSD from officer rapes and foul play in September and I couldn't talk to them. 
She lied and said tenant called cops! 
Officer King came and tried to interrogate me and drag me in. 
I said I was just a guest- sat in my car- and refused his interrogation. 
Joan called and he wanted my phone to talk to her. 
I said "no" so he was pissed he had to use own phone and was rude to me rest of night. 
It was upsetting that Joan dragged me in anyways- and kept saying my name "Nitya" - which is very unusual and private. I texted her to never dox my location to a cop or my name again! 
I asked officer King for his card before he left and he was rude not to give it to me. 
I have sent videos of all the sarcastic, rude and nasty things he said to me to both Carol & Joan. 
It was extremely racist.
I told Joan I would leave if cops Terrorized us again and she led me to believe tenants had called- when it was her! She left a voice-mail confessing and then after lying about it.
Monday she wanted me to go to court with her again; I said "no" so she wanted me back in Landers and arranged for another laborer to come up. 
Monday morning I broke her rules -she said -by asking Carol for cops business card before I left. 
I also found out my x's atty died in a scuba diving accident last summer. 
It seemed preminiscious since I'd written a song about her called Barracuda Mamma. Sharkbait song unfolded that weekend and I was pleased with sequel I'd written and good news for my children's freedom from one atty in their pedophile sting.
I sent my new song to Joan and Carol as I was getting ready to drive to her Landers farm hours away.
Joan texted me to leave. 
It was very cold considering I'd worked 24/7 in slumming conditions for a week! She asked about my records and was looking to see if she could get me in trouble for court. 
I confessed dmv.org consulted with my ex husband and was withholding my registration even though IRS stole thousands of dollars of tax returns from 2016 divorce and also hired gay officer Enoch and Daniel Crabtree to steal my Lexus rental car on rape bribes from attys. I'd been caged by Dr. Singh 18 months of covid in shit filled rooms slumlorded out of over a dozen homes, all my assets stolen, and dmv refused to honor years where I couldn't even use Lexus Lemon while it was being serviced! Santa Monica Lexus dealership tried to steal my car while I was raped at hospitals and dmv.org refused to register it. I paid several hundred and they said that would suffice! 
They got several thousand from IRS yet they still fail to send registration sticker! Joan knew I was working for her to clean up that one thing from previous courts abuse!
I left within an hour when she said "bye," only to be greeted by officers Schmitt coming out of bushes hiding at gate. 
He cordially told me to have a good day.
 A block later Sheriff Curtis was coming down her dirt road and pulled me over. 
He said he was arresting me on registration and Cuffed and beat me into back of his car.
Carol said she was talking to officer Schmitt and he realized I lived and worked for Joan so came out and had Curtis release me. 
Curtis threatened to steal my car if he ever sees me again. 
Sargeant Protero raided my home and stole my phone & dog Blu I share with our handyman Eddy Lyons- in covid of 2020. 
Mountain Liquor say our Nazi Sheriff Brags about violence they've inflicted on me and say they wished they'd stolen my Lexus as well as my rental car when they had me raped with broken ribs in covid for 18 months of shit filled hospitals.
Mary Schmitz stole all my belongings from her boyfriend's dad's house where I was renting. 
We all feel both her and Joan doxed my location to have me murdered.
Joan wrote to say she was surprised I didn't go to jail! 
She asked me to wait all day while she sorted everything out. 
I sat in rain for 8+ hours- then she called to say she didn't want me back and laid her silencing trip on me.
I've been homeless since camping in snow. 
Mary Schmitz refuses to return assets and Joan just sends "cease & desist" messages to any reasonable communication.
We feel these animal rescues are a farce and they're actually abusing humans and animals.
I've seen 7 Dr's since with over 20 variants of parasites and bugs. 
Carol says Joan had covid and was taking parasite medication- but she failed to disclose Germ warfare! 
I need reimbursement on car damages, gas, health repercussions and a home for that week of hard work we all did. 
I need $50k in damages to cover unemployment for next year and would like to have my home back with tenants. 
We will bug bomb and disinfect it. Otherwise both her properties should be closed down and are condemned. 
We feel Joan has abused over 6 employees just since September spreading parasitic disease, gaslighting & abusive tactics; and she's not in her right mind to practice business. 
She never had a reasonable reason to fire all of us and it appears she's working for courts full time as a nazi soldier weaponizing motherhood. 
We feel 50k is a fair sum if she settles today so that we can heal at home in peace for remainder of year with kids & new puppies. 
Thankyou!
Blessings,
Nitya Rawal
Encinitasbeachhome.com
National Association of REALTORS 
Journalist @nityalakshmi108 - all docs and Grievances posted since September.
PS
More notes from Joan on Landers Job:
Ac
Porta potty
Joan Grandizio
Facebook 
3 or 4 hours a day
Dome house: 
Bigger Fridge
Table
Toaster oven ( which I bought at Anza Hardware & just returned- because I've been terrified Curtis & Nazi cops would steal my car & kill me with their hospital & court contentious bribed colleagues of atty Sharkbait circle!)
No water
Park in front of Dome
Walk
5 acres
2nd half sold
"Guanacasa" - Costarica
Transfer benefits to Costa
Start business 2-3 years
Buy a property that has a business
150k Ranchette 
Left on Gibraltar (if get to end of Gibralter - Gone too far- see back of property.)
0 notes
withoutyouimsaskia · 1 year
Text
Remember Me, Special Dreams
Part X.
Part I / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9
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GIF: Originally posted by​ @sic-vita​​​
Summary: Self-insert. You're having trouble with recurring night terrors and Morpheus pays you a visit. (Title from the lyrics of Placebo’s Special Needs)
Warnings: language, angst, mentions of night terrors.
Word Count: 1.4k
A/N: Good evening wonderful peeps. Hope you've had a good week. It's just been announced that Tom Sturridge and Mason Alexander Park are going to be at London MCM Comic Con next weekend and the thought of it is too much for me to handle. I think I might be having a day in London... 😉 Anyway, please enjoy this next one. All my love, Saskia xx
---------------
The instant that yours and Morpheus' lips touch, you feel him tense. There’s an acute intake of breath. Then he is a statue. Carved from ice.
You consider pulling back but then the ice begins to melt. 
He’s kissing you back. 
Only very slightly yet it’s all the encouragement you need to keep going.
His lips are just as perfect to kiss as they are to look at.
Soft. And combined with his smooth skin, it is like being caressed by silk.
Within seconds, you are lost in him.
The reaction your body gives is unlike anything you have ever experienced before from a first kiss, or any other kiss for that matter. You are completely overtaken by the oxytocin binding to your neuroreceptors, and there's an additional layer of bliss to cushion your aching heart. It laps over you like a wave soaking the sand at high tide.
An otherworldly sensation. 
You presume it is because he is that entirely. Not of your world.
The thought is sobering. He’s a powerful, ageless, visually stunning being. And you’re a human.
A human going through a crisis. 
You know full well that trying to solve it through intimacy is wrong, regardless of the physical attraction and the burgeoning connection you feel with him on an emotional level.
You pull away.
Out of his personal space and further still. You withdraw into yourself.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
Morpheus speaks your name in a whisper.
It takes a great amount of force for you to feel able to look at him.
His eyes are gleaming with tears. He looks so vulnerable.
Vulnerability caused by your actions.
Shame floods through you.
What must you think of me? You question inside your head.
He had been dutifully trying to help you, attempted to bring you comfort, shared what it meant to be the guardian of dreams and apologised for upsetting you, and the only thing you could think to do in that moment was to take advantage of his kindness by kissing him.
You feel despicable.
You're pushing your hands shakily over your scalp. 
He says your name again. There’s real confusion on his face.
"Please can we forget that happened? I've literally just told you about my break up and kissing you, well, it’s a classic rebound reaction. I should know better.”
"Rebounding is a concept created by humans to bring shame to those who have the fortitude to act on their desires."
His words, though they sound seductively logical, do not sway your resolve. 
“That may be true, but it was still massively impulsive of me.”
You watch as his walls go back up, cleaning his face of all feeling and freezing his eyes to a dark, frosty blue.
"Then I will do as you ask and ignore its occurrence."
You exhale with relief.
"I appreciate that."
Morpheus changes the subject so quickly, not even allowing for a second of unease.
"We should return to the library."
"Okay."
You shift into a better position to be able to stand but then he is in front of you and extending a long-fingered hand for you to take.
You hesitate.
"Please, Y/N."
You slip your hand into his grasp.
The skin on skin contact creates a buzzing sensation in the back of your head. Your body was going to take some convincing to detach. 
You think back to his choice of adjective.
Desire.
That was what had happened. A heady moment of desire. One that you had enjoyed, yes, but nothing that could be pursued.
He helps you up gracefully.
"Thank you."
He simply nods and begins to walk back the way you had both originally come.
You fall into step beside him.
You occupy your thoughts by looking at every detail of the dense, green forest.
The textures of the tree bark, the colours of the leaves, the smell of the air.
It’s easier to distract yourself when you get closer to the palace. In your upset, you had completely missed the details of the gorgeous structure before. The pale stone and gleaming copper of the domes and towers. Statues dotted in amongst the architecture. A dragon and a Pegasus that move with their own autonomy greet you at the entrance doors.
It is fantastical.
Once inside, you re-trace the steps you had taken so hurriedly not an hour ago. Through the corridors with their abundance of arches and pillars and swathes of red carpets trimmed with gold.
Once back in the library, Lucienne greets you with a glowing smile.
You all sit down around the table.
Morpheus nods for Lucienne to present their findings.
“We have found the moment when your night terrors started. You were thirteen years old and you had a hallucination about a spider.”
You nod, remembering that well. You had been so convinced that it was dangling above your face that you had hit out at it with all of your limbs in turn.
“The exact same night, there was a small disturbance recorded here.”
Lucienne takes off her glasses.
“Every parasomnia episode that you have had from that moment on has coincided with some unexplained event in the Dreaming. However, because they were low magnitude and happened so infrequently, there was no cause for concern. Until now, of course.”
You wet your lips nervously. You are fearfully replaying Matthew’s words from earlier in your head about what happens to vortexes.
“What course of action are you going to take to stop it from happening again?”
“Well, it appears that it only happens when you are severely stressed or afraid and then have a nightmare,” Lucienne replies.
You look at Morpheus.
“So you could just stop me from having nightmares?”
“I cannot do that. I do not think it wise. Nightmares serve a purpose. They are a necessary means to help you confront your fears.”
His stance is regal and tone unyielding.
You visibly deflate, there will be no persuading him, you are certain.
“What I will do is grant you a reprieve from them until you are less unsettled in your waking life.”
You blink as you process his words before becoming alarmed.
“And what happens the next time something bad happens? I can’t just stay inside and avoid everything and everyone that could potentially upset me. That’s no way to live.”
“I will step in,” He says this like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Wait, let me get this straight. You are going to stop my nightmares every time I feel emotionally out of control?”
“Yes.”
You stare at him in shock.
“If that is agreeable to you,” He adds.
“It is.”
He stands.
“Then it is decided.”
***
You and Morpheus return to the main doors of the palace and stand on the bridge side by side.
His hands are clasped formally behind his back as he watches you looking out at the gates in the distance that are book-ended by mountains.
Subconscious life bustles in the landscape around you and beyond. Dreamers have been dreaming the entire time you have been here, completely oblivious to the threat you pose to them.
You look up at Morpheus and gesture before you with both hands.
“So you made all of this?”
"Yes.”
“How long did it take you?”
“Eons.”
"I feel privileged to have experienced it in such a lucid way. It's more beautiful than anything I have ever seen.”
“I am pleased you think so.” His voice sounds strained despite his choice of words.
A murmur of Starlings are suddenly dancing in the sky. Clearly someone is dreaming about bird watching.
“You will need to wake up soon,” Morpheus says.
“Oh, okay.” His comment is so abrupt that you can’t help but feel like you are being kicked out.
“I will come and check on you in two weeks.”
He goes to raise his hand and end the dream.
Your heart lurches.
“Morpheus, wait.”
He pauses.
“Thank you. For everything. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve your kindness but I am really grateful for what you’re doing for me.”
His eyes soften to an ocean blue.
“I meant what I said to Lucienne. I will do my utmost to protect you. You have my word."
Taglist: @pinkcyclewitch @layla2-49 @shoidy-cat @silverhart93 @boofy1998 @dotieeee @ponyboys-sunsets @fangirlmary @littledollll @fatimakinney @jamiethenerdymonster @rosaren2498 @mr-sandman-bring-me-a-dream
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viawritesstuff · 7 months
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obx week masterlist
hi babies! here is where i'll be updating my masterlist for obx week!!! absolute huge shout out to @surftrips for organizing this amazing thing! i'm so excited to see what everyone comes up with!
please note that many of these stories have not been edited, please let me know if you find anything! please also let me know if i need to add additional warnings to stories! tried my best but i might’ve missed something!
reblogs appreciated 🫶🏼
navi
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fluff fluff + angst pure angst
sep 4th, day one: welcome to new york - sarah cameron
the one where sarah and y/n move to new york to live out their wildest dreams
sep 5th, day two: call me - rafe cameron
the one where y/n and rafe meet for the first time, and boy do sparks fly.
sep 6th, day three: no worries - rafe cameron
the one where y/n and rafe, who hate each other, get stuck in an elevator at cameron development after hours.
sep 7th, day four: i miss you, i'm sorry. - rafe cameron
the one where y/n and rafe had a rocky relationship, fueled by rafes drug addiction. after he's clean and sober, they meet for the first time in years.
sep 8th, day five: new romantics - rafe cameron
the one where after rafe took care of y/n after she got too drunk one night, they become friends and are practically inseparable. rafe has the biggest crush on y/n, and is shocked to find out y/n likes him too. COMING EVENTUALLY
sep 9th, day six: best thing that's ever been mine - jj maybank
the one where after being friends their whole life, y/n and jj finally confess their love for each other. COMING EVENTUALLY
sep 10th, day seven: better than revenge - rafe cameron
the 5 times rafe cheated on y/n + 1 time y/n cheated on rafe COMING EVENTUALLY
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