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#1940 bucky barnes and reader
buck-buck-boose · a day ago
I’ll Love You ‘Til I Die
A Mini-Series
Summary: In which Lottie Green makes a vow to James Buchanan Barnes in her childhood. Against all odds, she kept that vow.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC
Warnings: none
Word count: 1.5k
Author’s Note: This fic concept has been brewing in my mind ever since I heard the song “He Stopped Loving Her Today.” This is my first one on here so lmk what you think!
Chapter One: The Vow
“James Buchanan Barnes, I’ll love you ‘til I die.”
It was a vow of Lottie’s girlhood, often punctuated by giggles and flushed cheeks. Even as her mind betrayed her and her memories faded into jumbled whispers of the past, she could clearly recall the first time she made that vow- as reverent as a sinner before God.
In the summer of 1930, Lottie was a waif-like girl of 9, often found outside washing and mending clothes with her mother.
“Lottie-love, would you please bring this bag of mended trousers and dresses to the Barnes’ apartment? With how much trouble that boy gets into, that boy will end up with trousers that are more thread than fabric.” Her mother shook her head fondly- although there was a new tear to mend every week, it meant she could still put food on the table.
“I’ll be back soon, Ma,” Lottie called over her shoulder as she hoisted the bag into her arms.
Lottie quite enjoyed the walk to the Barnes’ apartment; she was usually accompanied by her mother when walking the four blocks, but walking all by herself gave her a sense of pride and maturity. Plus, it gave her the opportunity to scan the sidewalks for any lone pennies to use in the corner store on the way home.
As she crossed the street and stepped onto the sidewalk in front of the tenement, her right foot- squeezed into a tattered Mary Jane -caught on the curb and sent her tumbling onto the sidewalk, earning her a rather unpleasant scrape on her knee. Lottie was tempted to cry out at the stinging pain, but she decided that crying wouldn’t be mature of her.
She stood up resolutely and picked up the bag of clothes that had toppled over with her, straightening her skirt with a free hand. Her lower lip trembled ever so slightly, but she simply straightened her back and stride towards the door of the tenement.
When she entered the building, Lottie was faced with three flights of stairs’ worth of climbing to do. By the time she reached the Barnes’ apartment, she was huffing and puffing from the weight of the bag and the steepness of the stairs. With a pang of annoyance, Lottie noticed a feeling of wetness quickly traveling down her shin and soaking into her sock; her mother would be furious that she’d ruined yet another pair of socks.
She chose to ignore this predicament for the time being and knocked on the apartment door, “Mrs. Barnes, it’s Lottie Green! I’ve got this week’s mending and washing for you!” The door abruptly swung open, and she was met with a gangly 13 year-old boy, rather than the willowy Mrs. Barnes.
“Ah, my ma said you’d be ‘round sometime soon. I’m James Buchanan Barnes, but my friends call me Bucky,” with that introduction he stuck his hand out, causing Lottie to fumble around with the bag so she could shake it.
“Well I’m Lottie Joan Green, and my friends call me Lottie,” she replied, sidling into the kitchen of the apartment as Bucky held the door open. She dropped the bag onto the kitchen table, then Bucky let out a low whistle, “Geez Little Lottie, you’re bleeding somethin’ terrible, Ma’d kill me if I let you leave without fixing that up.”
Bucky walked across the room, pulling a chair out for her, though she protested, “I really shouldn’t stick around, I told my Ma I’d be right back.” Bucky shook his head at that and argued, “If I let you leave with a scrape like that, you’ll start trailing blood all over the rest of the tenement and the landlady’ll go bananas! She’s already 100 percent certifiable as is. Now you sit down while I get a Band-Aid.”
With a huff, Lottie dropped into the seat and scuffed her shoes along the floorboards, taking the time to examine Bucky as he gathered up a fresh rag and a tin of Band-Aids from his kitchen cabinets. A few curls of dark hair fell over his forehead, escaping from the slicked-back style his mother had attempted on him earlier that morning. She saw traces of his mother in his features; his shockingly blue eyes had the same mirthful shine as Mrs. Barnes, and they shared the same smile lines. His cheeks were slightly pockmarked and his fingernails terribly crusted with dirt, but nonetheless, she was beginning to understand why the name of this Barnes boy was whispered so frequently by the girls on the schoolyard.
“Alright Little Lottie, this antiseptic is gonna sting, but it’ll only last a few seconds. You can cry if you wanna, I do this all the time for Becca- my kid sister -and she wails like a newborn.” Bucky returned to where she was seated, crouching in front of her to press the rag, damp with antiseptic, to her leg. When the scrape stung this time around, Lottie forwent her sense of 9-year-old maturity and wept.
“It’s alright, I’m almost done,” Bucky murmured, placing a Band-Aid over her scrape. He glanced up from his ministrations, her dull brown eyes meeting his, “There ya go, right as rain. And here,” he added, pulling a tattered handkerchief from his pocket, “you probably need this more than me right now.”
Lottie gingerly took the handkerchief from his hand, and his face broke out into a smile- a smile that stirred something within her very being. It wasn’t that schoolboy grin that he would shoot at the tittering middle school girls, nor was it a condescending smile that most boys his age would cast at girls her age. It was a secret smile, shared between just the two of them in the middle of his cramped tenement; it was one of warmth, causing the corners of his eyes to crinkle, highlighting the mirth that lived inside of them.
“Thank you, Bucky,” Lottie responded quietly, returning the smile in kind. “It’s always a pleasure, Little Lottie. Now here’s the payment for your Ma,” he straightened from his crouch and fished a few coins from his pocket, “Those nickels are for her, but the penny’s for you.” He dropped the coins into her outstretched palm.
Lottie protested, staring at the penny winking up at her from her palm, “Oh Bucky, my Ma’ll have a fit if she finds out your Ma’s been overpaying. We don’t need the money anymore than you do.” She nudged him to hand the penny back to him, but Bucky shook his head and laughed, guiding her to the door, “The penny’s not from my Ma, Little Lottie, it’s from me. Now get on out of here before your Ma comes banging down our door.”
With that, he ruffled her hair and sent her on her way out the door, closing it after she’d exited. Lottie was left standing dazedly outside the Barnes’ apartment, clutching Bucky’s handkerchief in one hand, and the nickels- and his penny -in the other.
Her journey back home was uneventful, walking the four blocks back quite quickly. She stopped in front of the corner store briefly, eyeing the penny candy displayed in the window. She ran her thumb over the penny resting in her fist, considering her options, but something stopped her. No, candy was not worthy of being purchased with her special penny. She would have to wait until she found something extraordinary to spend it on. So she carried on, mulling over what sort of item would be extraordinary enough for her special penny.
That night, as she lay in bed after finishing her prayers, she couldn’t help but picture those blue eyes and messy dark curls. She thought over and over of how kind he was with her. Suddenly, her nightly prayers felt unfinished; half-done. So, she ended with her most solemn one yet: “James Buchanan Barnes, I’ll love you ‘til I die.”
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ev-pierce-writes · 6 days ago
Pairing: Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier) x F!Reader
Words: 7.7K
Rating: Very much 18+
Warnings: P in V, oral (fem receiving), light (consensual) choking, praise, James Buchanan Barnes is a sad boy and only you can make him happy, mutual therapy over past trauma, a couple light spanks, and some sexy sparring
Note: Reader had a run-in with Hydra that gave you invisibility powers. Bucky is tasked with training you. Totally not canon, I just kept the parts I liked. Got the idea from a tiktok but I can't find it anymore oops. I'm thinking of turning it into a series of all the places you can fuck Bucky Barnes at Avengers HQ. Enjoyyyyyy....
"Alright, so I'm thinking absolutely the first thing you need is a suit. Because we can't have you sneaking around in clothes that give you away."
Tony Stark and Peter Parker stand before you at Avengers HQ, furiously tossing ideas back and forth, trying to come up with ways to build you the best possible suit. Last night had been...interesting, to say the least.
"Who's that?" Stark had said when you appeared all of a sudden from your room. "Come on Agent Hill, don't tell me you're taking in lost kids nowadays."
Your mother had only laughed, slightly inebriated and feeling loose because of all the drinking that was going on in your penthouse apartment. She was hosting one of those parties where too many superpowers drank too much alcohol and got a little too rowdy. "That's my daughter."
Usually, you stay away from such events, go out with friends, and avoid the house until it's all over. For the past four years, you hadn't even been in the house to need to avoid it. But now you're 22 and a recent college graduate and something about the party was drawing you in so you had emerged from your hideaway to join in the fun.
"Alright, Maria, how'd you manage to keep that one a secret?" Romanov spoke up.
Until this point, you'd remained silent, in shock at the sudden attention a group of superheroes had focused onto you. But you couldn't help yourself from responding now. You'd managed to hide away long enough. It was time to come into the open.
"I'm a ghost," you said jokingly, approaching the couch and stealing the drink your mother had been drinking to take a sip. It was strong and burned on the way down. The group laughed at your words, unaware of how true they really were.
It was then that you'd performed your little trick, the one that only a few of your closest friends had ever seen. You became invisible.
The laughter had immediately stopped. The girl who suddenly appeared out of thin air had disappeared right back into it. They could still tell where you were of course. The glass in your hand remained visible, floating in mid-air, giving away your position. And your clothes were still perceptible, not being able to change with you. But your features were otherwise undetectable, not even a shimmer revealing your face. You took another sip of the drink, liquid disappearing into an invisible mouth.
"I want her. On the team," Stark had said.
And that was it. The start of your superhero career.
"Explain again exactly how this works?" Parker asks.
You sigh and start from the beginning, again. "I can distort the absorption wavelengths of my cells so that the reflected light is in the invisible range, usually infrared."
"And how long can you hold it for?"
"About seven minutes now," you explain. "It's sort of like holding your breath. You can go underwater for a while, and you can practice holding your breath longer and longer, but eventually, you need to come up for air. Eventually, I have to 'recharge.' But I've been working on extending it."
Stark turns to one of the many holograms of his supercomputer, working with Friday to design a brand new suit to accommodate your skills. You're so engrossed in watching his process you don't even notice the shadowy figure appear in the doorway that leads to the training facilities.
"How'd you get these powers? Agent Hill isn't lacking in skill but it certainly isn't supernatural."
You knew Stark's question would come up eventually. It always did. Over time, it became easier to tell the story, but now you really don't feel like explaining fully, so you tell the short version.
"Hydra. When I was seventeen. They used me as a bargaining chip against my mom in a mission gone wrong and decided to experiment on me in the process. Left me with a lot of scars and a lot of therapy. Almost dropped out of school."
You don't remember much from the experience. But enough for it to leave lasting damage.
"Hydra?" a familiar voice asks behind you. Only now do you notice that Barnes is behind you. How long has he been watching?
You remain silent, just like you did the night before when he'd arrived late to the party, unable to speak under his gaze.
You had planned to leave not long after you joined the festivities. But when the elevator doors opened, a pair of blue eyes halted you in your path. James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier. You'd recognize those eyes anywhere. Crystal clear and icy, freezing you under their gaze. He wore a leather jacket and leather gloves, concealing his metal arm, but you knew it was there, hiding behind the layers.
Barnes had always been the one that caught your eye during your mother's briefings. His transition from the greatest warrior Hydra had to offer, and thus S.H.I.E.L.D.'s greatest enemy, to the trusted companion of Captain America and official Avengers member intrigued you. At first, he had been more of a schoolgirl crush, the little girl grappling with her new powers seeking guidance in someone who didn't even know she existed. But age had not reduced your admiration of him. Barnes' face was hard set in serious determination and his glance barely grazed over you before turning to the rest of the group. He paid you not a single ounce of attention, yet you felt dumbstruck in his presence.
But Bucky had noticed you that night. Noticed you in a way he wanted desperately to hide, so he disallowed his eyes from lingering on you. Who were you and why were you wearing pajamas at a party and how did you make them actually look good?
And not only did he notice you, but he recognized you. He wasn't sure how, but something at the back of his head buried beneath decades of blurred half-memories told him he knew you. It was a stupid thought, though. How could he know you?
From the doorway, his eyes narrow in concern, making you feel smaller than ever beneath him. How is that 5 o'clock shadow so enticing? You just want to run your fingers across--
Stark gestures at Barnes, completely ignoring his comment. "Good, you're here. Our young Agent Hill needs to get started with her training immediately. I want her in the field but she can't be going in inexperienced. Teach her the works."
It's rather bold of Stark to assume you have no combat skills. And to assume you even want to go into the field. But you follow behind Barnes in silence anyway toward the training facilities. It doesn't matter what you know and don't know. He's going to kick your ass anyway.
"Feet wider," he says, coaching you on your swing. His blue eyes have somehow darkened, and along with the faint beard, he looks positively dangerous. "Not too wide."
"I know how to punch, Barnes," you whisper under your breath. He's not meant to hear your words, but he does anyway.
"Oh yeah? Punch me then. Go for it." His voice is challenging in the way that reveals he knows he could block any swing that comes at him. But he wants to see what will happen. Your mention of Hydra loosened a memory in his brain somewhere, and though he can't quite place his finger on it, the memory told him you're anything but the kid he's treating you like. He wants to know what you really have inside you.
Your annoyance gets the best of you. You aim for his face, the way your mother taught you. And she taught you well, teaching you all the self-defense skills you might need moving through the world as a woman. But she did not teach you how to fight super soldiers. That's an entirely different world.
Unsurprisingly, Barnes predicts your move and his metal arm comes up to meet your human one, halting your punch mid-swing. His palm fully engulfs your fist, your knuckles slamming into the metal with a ringing sound.
"Fuck, that hurt," you seethe through your teeth, gripping your hand in pain. And yet, you still smile. You mean for your words to sound irritated, but they betray how much you enjoy getting a swing in. "Didn't have to do me like that, Barnes."
He ignores your pain, though secretly it pleases him to find how much force is truly behind your punch. Nothing, of course, his metal arm can't take, but strong enough. "Language, kid. Go again. And this time, try not to be so obvious."
Despite his advice, it's impossible. He predicts every one of your strikes and counters them with four times as much strength as you possess. You give him everything you have, and nothing lands.
"This would be a lot easier if you let me use my powers."
So far, Barnes has refused to let you fight invisible, not that it would have done you much good without a proper suit. But you're tired and sweaty, your hair falling from its ponytail and sticking to your face, your muscles aching and your heart beating fast. Barnes hasn't even broken a sweat.
"Unless you learn to fight without your powers, they'll do nothing more than level the playing field. You need to be at an advantage if you're going to survive."
Survive. You've done plenty of that already. You want better than survival. Barnes recognizes the look on your face, the one that expresses the desire plainly. He knows the feeling, drifting from one day to the next and wanting more than that.
His voice softens a bit. "We can call it quits for the day. Get some rest. We'll go again tomorrow."
He didn't intend to be so kind. It just sort of happened, drawn out of him by the not-so-innocent girl who still has a lot to learn but can hold her own better than most.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow's8 like the day before, 9 am at HQ, wait for Parker to get his ass up the elevator so Stark can begin, get sidetracked by coffee, and then finally return to the task at hand.
"Give this a shot," Stark says, handing you what looks like nothing more than a vaguely human-shaped paper suit. "Not exactly protective, but it's a new technology. Should conform to your abilities."
"You did this overnight?"
"Of course. Get changed."
The suit has little support and definitely no protection. You feel like a fingernail could rip a hole through it if you pull on it wrong, let alone a knife coming at you from an angry enemy. But it's a start. An impressive start. You stare at yourself in the mirror of the bathroom as you shift, the suit shifting along with you.
Back in the training facilities, where you know Stark and Parker will be waiting, you remain in your shifted form. They don't look up as you enter, somehow having not heard you, and instead are engaged in a heated discussion with Barnes about something you don't understand. So you creep up behind Parker, lean in, and whisper into his ear.
"I think it works."
You feel a little bad, but only for a moment. Parker jumps straight out of his skin, screaming a scream you didn't know was possible from the kid. Stark lets out a laugh as you rematerialize, and Barnes even cracks a smile at your prank.
"Yeah, yeah, I'd say so." Parker's voice quivers.
"Well, what do you think?" Stark asks.
"Very thin," you say, aware that much more is visible than you really want. "I feel like it's going to rip at any moment. And there's not a whole lot of support in this area."
You gesture vaguely at your chest, not knowing how best to explain to a group of men that a sports bra is a necessity for fighting, but knowing you have to make them aware all the same. You can feel Barnes' eyes on you, a little less polite than the others, and you find you like the way he eyes you up, a bit like a puzzle to be solved or a strategy to be devised.
"Right, right, I'll get on that. Only a prototype anyway," Stark responds nervously. "Back to work, Parker. Hill, Barnes, back to training."
Bucky tries his best not to picture what you might look like without that suit, but it leaves little to the imagination as you saunter away to change again.
And so the days move forward. You've never before been so busy or exhausted in your life. You just graduated college, which is a feat in itself, but all the training, all the work, keeps you on your toes so that by the end of the day, both your brain and your body are tired.
Still, you improve and get better at sparring Barnes, even taking him down a couple of times on your own, though you suspect he's going easy on you.
"Again." Barnes is already on his feet and helping you to yours. Today the sparring room is particularly warm, and you've long forgone your sweats for shorts and a sports bra. Barnes has lost the shirt as well, and his chest glistens with sweat beneath the fluorescent lights. Maybe it's the heat or maybe it's him, but the whole thing feels a bit dreamlike. Here you are, sparring with a man who could take you to the ground with one arm alone, and he's letting you kick his ass every once in a while.
But there's no way you can do it again. You feel destroyed by all the slamming onto the mat.
Barnes is doing his best not to be distracted as well, but those tight shorts and the top that reveals your midriff have to be on purpose. It's easy to admit to himself that he likes you, might even be attracted to you. You fight hard and relentlessly, rising to every one of his challenges and not backing down even when you're tired. You've already come a long way since that first encounter, and Barnes has come to look forward to the two hours a day you spend together in the gym. He had tried to tell himself it was the fun of having a new sparring partner, but in truth, he knows it's the determined glint in your eyes, the way you bounce on your feet in excited anticipation of the fight, the way you collapse on the mat after a hard session, chest heaving deep breaths in and out. But what he likes most is your heated gaze when he pins you to the ground, or even better, you pin him.
"Knock me down one more time and you can be done," he challenges. The familiar determination returns, though a flicker of doubt remains behind your eyes. He can tell you need encouragement. "Remember to use your size to your advantage. Don't let me get ahead of you. Keep me guessing."
You do your best. You really do. You hold your own for almost two minutes, but it's obvious you're only barely staying ahead of him. As soon as you falter, Barnes has you flat on your back on the mat without much resistance, immobilized by a knee on your thighs and his metal arm trapping your hands over your head. His free hand plants by your head and holds him up to prevent him from actually hurting you.
You gasp underneath him, trying to disguise the weird flicker of desire with breathlessness. He looks good from down here, all sweaty and dark and serious. But you're also a bit too tired to care. "I'm out, Barnes. Let me go."
Let me go. Please.
And that's when the memory returns. The full, real memory, the one that has been tickling the edges of his brain since he first saw you. You, a kid, his mission. Kidnap, don't kill. A small voice, your voice, begging. Please, let me go. What has he done?
"Fuck," he curses under his breath, standing up quickly.
"Language, Barnes," you say teasingly. But he doesn't laugh, simply exits the sparring room, abruptly leaving you, speechless and alone on the floor. What just happened?
After a moment of confused silence on the mat, you brush it off and stand, heading to your room for a shower. Stark offered you a place to stay at HQ, and you happily agreed. Though you loved being back with your mother after four years away at college, you cherish your independence. A room at HQ offered you just that.
A nice shower would certainly make you feel better after that confusing interaction. You pull on your robe and shower shoes, leaving your clothes behind so as to carry one less thing. But as you pass down the hall toward the showers, you can hear Barnes' voice drift through the slightly open door to his room.
"I remembered," he says. "It was her. I'm the reason she's--" He cuts off, appearing to be interrupted by whoever he's talking to on the phone. You pause by the open door.
"I know that's not me anymore but I'm still responsible," he continues. "I have to tell her."
Again a pause. By now it's apparent he's talking about you.
"No, Steve, we aren't a team. We aren't partners. I'm helping Tony out. I don't care if she doesn't want to work with me anymore, this is part of my redemption. I have to tell her."
The conversation seems over. You rush to the showers, not wanting Barnes to realize you were listening the whole time. Apologize, he said. Apologize for what? You've known him for a whole of four days and he's been nothing but polite to you. Cold, at first, but he warms upon acquaintance. And then he's downright sweet.
So sweet, you realize, for someone so damaged. He has every right to hate the world, and though he walks through it with a healthy dose of cynicism, he never lets that cynicism touch you. If anything, he's outright positive around you, an undeserving brat. A kid, really, though you don't like when he calls you that. You know you can be naive, positive on the verge of artificiality, and yet he never tries to burst your bubble. In fact, he seems to relish it.
The shower feels nice, but it does nothing to assuage your fears. Maybe it's you who has done something wrong? Now you're spiraling. You have to find out what's going on or it's going to drive you crazy.
You know what you have to do. You have just about seven minutes of invisibility before your shifting gives out. In those seven minutes, you can duck from the showers, sneak into Barnes' room, snoop around, and make it back to the showers unseen. Plenty of time. But you have to go nude. Now would be a great time for the suit, but no such luck. Naked it is.
Out in the hallway, all is quiet. Barnes' door is still ajar, but when you peek your head in, the room is empty.
Where to start? His phone is a dead end, being one of those ancient flipping kinds rather than a new, high-tech smartphone. He has few personal belongings, the bed is made perfectly, and his closet contains only clothes.
The drawers of the nightstand are empty. Or nearly empty. At the back of the top drawer is unceremoniously shoved a small booklet with a pen stuck between the pages. It's worn and supple, as though held a thousand times and read a thousand more. You flip through, finding a list of names, some crossed out, others not. Your name does not appear, but something about the list tells you these are not ordinary names. These are the names of his victims, people Barnes hurt as the Winter Soldier. Your heart aches and your stomach clenches, the reminder of his past jarring against the kind demeanor you've come to know. But deep down, you know this isn't him, know he's a good man, despite it all.
You know better than most the first-hand horrors of Hydra's super-soldier experiments. Of anyone, you can relate best to the experience Barnes has been through. Your memories of that long week are blurry, but the pain remains, forever seared into your mind. You can only imagine a lifetime of that pain.
The sound of the door opening jolts you from your reverie and you close the drawer quickly. But you soon realize your mistake. Barnes would know he left the door open, would know exactly how he placed his book in the drawer, would recognize something was off. Unfortunately, you're right.
"Hello?" he calls into the darkening room. The evening is coming on fast and the sun dims to barely glimmer, casting the space in shadow despite the large windows on the south wall.
Bucky knows something is off the moment he finds your room unoccupied, having gone there with the express purpose of confronting you about his actions earlier in the afternoon. And though he has no way of truly knowing, he suspects you are now here, in this room with him, invisible to his gaze. Bucky shuts the door behind him and waits.
You're trapped. You don't have long before your powers give out; already the suffocating feeling that begs you to take a breath is coming on. And Barnes has closed the door, effectively sealing you in, as you can't open it without him knowing for sure that you're here. On top of that, you're clothingless. You've run out of options and Barnes seems to sense this. So, he waits, drawing out the moment of tension, building the suspense.
"I know you're here," he says finally, his voice soft and barely audible. "You can't hide that well. Next time, dry your feet off before you go leaving wet footprints all over the place."
"I--" you begin, and immediately Barnes' eyes snap to where your voice originates from. "I'm sorry. I overheard your conversation with Rogers. I shouldn't have but I know it was about me."
Barnes sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, you're right. I have some things to explain. Though I'd much prefer talking to you if I could see you."
You hesitate. "Only a slight problem there. I'm not wearing any clothes."
If it had been any lighter in the room you would have seen Barnes blush. Instead, you watch him pull his shirt over his head. He hands it to you blindly, the shirt off his own back, soft with wear and long enough to cover the tops of your thighs. It smells of him, salty with sweat and sweet with the scent you've come to recognize only as him. You shrug it on and shift back.
"I'm sorry," you say again, having trouble concentrating with Barnes' bare chest at your eye level. Is that an old bullet wound on his shoulder? The reminder of a knife across his stomach? You can't look away, even at the seam where man meets metal.
Barnes shakes his head. "No, I should be the one apologizing."
He pauses for a moment and tries to begin several times before finally forming a complete sentence.
"It's my fault you're like this, that Hydra tested on you. It was me who kidnapped you, it was me who followed orders, it was me who completed the mission and got you hurt. And I'm so sorry."
You're so frozen in shock that the absurdity of the situation doesn't even register. There's nothing under this shirt, no underwear, no pants, no bra. And here you are standing in the bedroom of your greatest inspiration, listening to him apologize for being the one that facilitated your kidnapping, for being responsible for all the injury, the pain, the nightmares, the isolation, the...
It all comes flooding back, the things you had forgotten, or simply chose to not remember, and one of those things is his face.
You thought you'd dealt with impact. So many hours with a therapist, and you realize all you did was suppress the feelings, not confront them. And then you break, all the anger and sadness and frustration flowing from you at once.
"You piece of shit." Your voice begins as a whisper but soon amplifies nearly to a shout. "You monster, you bastard, how could you? How could you?"
All this time you forgave him for the damage he'd done, excused it as brainwashing and manipulation from Hydra. But now that it's you he's involved, you have somewhere to direct your anger, and you take it out as a shove straight to his chest.
He didn't expect that one. The words he understood. He accepted those, accepted that you would hate him forever. But then you're pushing and hitting him with all your force. Barnes could fight back, could hold his ground. But you need this, so he lets you shove him into the wall with a newfound strength. Finally against the wall, with nowhere left to go, you turn to pummelling his chest with your fists, repeating the words over and over, how could you, how could you, how could you.
For a moment, he lets it happen. But eventually, Barnes reacts, grabbing your wrists and holding them to his chest in an attempt to calm the fury that rages inside you. Surprisingly, at his touch, you still, slumping against him once the anger is replaced with nothing but sadness. That anger, one you never truly realized you'd harbored since your capture, bled from you all at once, leaving you exhausted.
You don't notice you're crying until a soft thumb wipes a tear from your cheek. Barnes releases your hands and wraps his arms around your sobbing body, pulling you close. "I'm so sorry," he repeats in your ear, his words a whisper against the rage inside your head.
Is it hours, or only minutes, standing like that, wrapped up in him, his skin so soft against your cheek? Time has ceased to exist, melting into the nighttime that encompasses the room in near pitch-black darkness. Your breath calms, your heart rate slows, the tears dry. He's only a man, a broken, misplaced, lost man. But he's also impossibly kind to you, caring enough to train you day after day, to pick you up when you fall down, to ensure you're happy here at all times. That's the man you know and rest your cheek against and seek out for comfort in this moment, despite him being the reason for your anger. But he's not truly the reason for your anger, only an easy outlet standing right before you.
This is not how Bucky had expected this to go. Perhaps to never see you again, yes. But to hold you in his arms, certainly not. And not just hold you, but comfort you. It surprises him how much he finds he likes it. And he can't ignore the fact that you're here in his room, wearing his shirt and only his shirt. He doesn't try anything improprietous, just wraps his arms around your waist, but it's not lost on him that your supple chest is pressed against him and the delicious scent from your still wet hair is filling his brain with a flowery cloud. His stomach clenches at the thought of burying his face in that smell for the rest of the night but he pushes it aside. That's not why you're here. That's not what you want.
But your next words surprise him. You pull slightly away, tilting your splotchy face upward towards his to look him in the eye. You take a ragged breath and speak.
"I forgive you."
Bucky is taken aback. That's not why he made this confession, not to seek your forgiveness. "You don't have to do that."
"I know. But I do. And I know you think I'm just a kid--"
Barnes lets out a short laugh, cutting you off immediately. "Jesus Christ, that's not true. You're not a kid. You're smart and strong and capable. And you've seen the ugly world for its true self and choose to remain good and happy all the same. I'm not like that and that makes you wiser than I'll ever be."
He takes a deep breath, unsure if he should admit to the feelings he desperately wants to express to you. The way you're looking at him, with a mixture of hesitation and admiration, makes the words tumble from his mouth without a second thought.
"But somehow being around you makes me want to be good again. Not for my sake, but for yours."
"James, I--" You've never used his first name before, but it falls deliciously from your lips, the sound of it nearly distracting him from the finger you run across the stubble on the cleft of his chin. Nearly. He captures that hand in his own, holding it there against his face.
"You don't have to forgive me. I don't deserve it," he repeats, eyes falling shut to the feeling of your thumb pressed to the corner of his lips. He still holds you close, the other arm wrapping tight around you, and though verbally he rejected the comfort your warmth offered, his body says otherwise, desperate for the acceptance his brain refuses to give into.
"Stop punishing yourself," you whisper. For a moment, he almost feels that he could.
And when your lips find his, soft and delicate, he forgets why you're even here in the first place, forgets his guilt and your anger, forgets even to react.
His lack of response has you pulling away, worried you've done something wrong, but then he's chasing your lips with his own, leaning forward to meet you halfway, gathering you impossibly tighter to his chest. He pauses, mouth mere centimeters from yours, eyes still shut, a deep breath heaving from his chest. He wants more, wants to kiss you again in all the places that count, but he can't quite yet.
"What was that for?" The question's not an accusatory one but simply curious. Have you always looked at him in this light since day one? Has he just not noticed?
"Are you blind, Barnes?"
He laughs and shakes his head. "None of that last name shit, doll, we've moved on to a first-name basis."
But your words are enough to surge him forward, this time capturing your lips in a dominating kiss that leaves you gasping for air. He takes advantage of your open mouth and presses his tongue to yours, seeking to fill his soul with your all-consuming warmth, to wrap it around him like a cocoon of your scent. His fingers slide down your back and slip under the shirt you wear, his shirt, grasping at the bare skin of your ass, filling his hands with your supple flesh.
You moan softly under his touch, relishing in the feeling of being encompassed by someone so large and so strong. The vibranium arm, which you expected to be harshly indelicate against your relative fragility, caresses you with the same gentility of the other. The intense contact sends your heart racing like it did all the times you were pinned below him on the sparring mat. Will he pin you like that in bed? Hold you down while he fucks you within an inch of your life?
The thought rouses a heat between your legs and stirs butterflies in your tummy. You don't even know if that's where this is going, but it invades your brain anyways. You're sure Barnes can feel your racing pulse beneath his lips when he kisses your neck, sending your nerves haywire as he creeps toward the neckline of your shirt. He inhales your scent, the hot air of his breath fanning your cool skin.
Everything about this is sloppy, the wet kisses dragged across your skin, his tongue tangled with yours, your fingers tugging at the hair that brushes the nape of his neck. Even his hips against yours are messy and rough, the heat of him leaving your core feeling slick, the wetness of it rubbing between your naked thighs. And then Barnes is sliding his hands back up your body, this time under your shirt, and tugging it over your head, his lips leaving your skin just long enough to toss the item to the ground.
You expect him to keep surging forward, to lift you in his arms and take you to bed like you want him to. But he pauses instead, hands cradling the back of your head, his eyes staring intensely into yours. Or you think he's staring into your eyes.
"Are you okay? Is this okay?" His voice is full of concern but raspy with arousal all the same.
"Yes, James, yes, I need more."
"Well, I would, it's just that you've disappeared on me again." One look at your hands and you know he was looking right through you, not at you. The swirl of emotions--pleasure, arousal, timidity even--sent you shifting without your knowledge. You can't help but laugh.
"Let me see you, doll," he groans, sounding exasperated that he can't rake his gaze across your naked flesh or find all the places he wants to touch you because they're invisible.
"You first."
A heated understanding lights up his eyes, still vibrant in the darkness of the room. Slowly, he releases his grip on you, relenting to not knowing where you are in space. You take an invisible step back to get a better view of the specimen before you. With one hand, he unbuckles his belt, sliding the leather from his pants and dropping it to the floor with a thunk. And then his pants are gone and he's left in his boxers, tight against the bulging muscles of his thighs.
And other bulging things. He doesn't hide his attraction to you. But still, you do not reappear.
Bucky begins to worry you're never going to, that maybe he's taken things too for. But then, a soft finger trails across his neck and he jerks in surprise. You're tracing the plain of his chest with a feather-light touch, dipping into the indent between his collarbones, feeling along the puckered scar of a bullet wound and the long slice of a knife. He feels healed beneath your touch, but it's not enough to satisfy the insatiable hunger building in the tightness of his groin. This entire evening has been a long, drawn-out, build-up of tension, and if he doesn't release it soon, it will snap like an overstretched rubber band.
He makes his move.
Apparently, Bucky's senses are just as perceptive here as they are on the sparring mat. His metal hand shoots up and wraps around the wrist of the hand on his chest, despite being unable to see it. The other reaches out and grapples at your invisible body in the dark, somehow finding your waist. He doesn't need to see you to manage to flip you around and press your back against his chest. In your surprise, your invisibility falters, and you flicker out of your shifted form with a flustered squeak, one hand suddenly pinned between your back and Bucky's rock-hard chest.
He holds on with an iron grip and walks you toward the bed, holding you up to prevent you from tripping in your ruffled state.
"You're taking too long, doll," he mumbles into your ear, and you feel his chest rumble with the vibrations. Your free hand flies to the one around your waist, which is slowly creeping upward toward your breast to twist at the sensitive nipple. "I know you like it when I pin you on the sparring floor. I can see it in your eyes. I'll take you like that right now if you give me the word."
Fuck, you want nothing more but you can't breathe enough to get the words out, opting for nodding vigorously instead. But Bucky wants words, gently prodding you forward to get a verbal commitment out of you. He will never take you against your will again. So you manage a long, drawn-out please and suddenly you're face-first in the sheets, bent halfway at the waist, your ass grinding against the delicious bulge pressed against your aching cunt. It pleases you that he has been thinking the same wicked thoughts as you when he slams you to the mat over and over again in training.
Bucky pulls your arm out from underneath you, joining it with the other and holding them together with his metal fist at your lower back, forcing your chest further into the mattress and your ass higher in the air. There's no way for you to move, no matter how hard you try. But you don't try, won't try. Bucky has you right where you want to be.
"Tell me if it's too much," he murmurs in your ear and you breathe an affirmation. His teeth nibble suddenly at your ear lobe and you squirm, the sensation of his breath fanning your skin sending goosebumps along the trail of kisses he leaves down your spine. Somehow, you know this is only the calm before the storm, the gentle caresses of a man who's about to rearrange every organ in your body, all the way up to your heart if you aren't careful.
It doesn't matter to you that it's pitch black in the room; you wouldn't have been able to see anything with your face shoved into the comforter, even if the lights were on. But Bucky's starting to regret having left the lights off, wishing he could better see the curve of your hips, the swell of your thighs, or the bloom of his handprint on your ass when his hand comes down with a smack. He resigns to being satisfied by the mewling gasp that escapes your lips and your soft pleas to Do it again, harder.
So he does. Smack.
And then he's sinking to his knees and you can tell because he leaves a wet stripe of skin with his tongue over the globe of your ass and blows a shock of cool air across the rawness of your skin.  He replaces the sting of his hand with the bite of his teeth and then a kiss to soothe you again. The rollercoaster of sensations has you moaning against the mattress and rocking your hips toward his face and Barnes chuckles at your movement, your actions giving away the desperation you feel to have his tongue move to more sensitive places.
He is happy to oblige. You hadn't even noticed you'd been squeezing your thighs together until he slid a hand up between them, forcing them apart. It's a blessing your legs aren't doing any work to keep you up anymore because they feel like jelly under his touch. The hand between your thighs moves higher still until you feel his thumb pressed to your sensitive clit, warm and twitching with anticipation, desire coursing through your veins and dripping from your wet cunt. Your ears barely register that he's speaking, the blood is pumping so hard in your ears, but his words are exalting.
"Look at you, so wet for me." The hand around your wrists tightens just slightly. You are surprised by the extreme control he has over the cool metal fingers, and you almost wish he'd use those on you instead. And then he says, "you like it, don't you, doll, being at my mercy," and you forget all about the arm and decide it doesn't matter what hand presses down with a gentle strength on your clit as long as he doesn't stop. And he doesn't. Doesn't move, doesn't flinch or twitch or falter, just holds steady until your gasping mewls die down just enough for you to say, "yes, all for you, all for you, all..."
With those words, his thumb slips, between your slick folds into your pussy, finding the soft spongy flesh and pressing down again and you cry out with a careening moan that tapers off into a silent sob. He's taking his time, picking you apart, pulling at the laces that bind you together, and undoing them to release the tension he knows you harbor. But what about him? Is it not torture for him?
You breathe in a rough gasp, enough to squeak out a few more words. "I thought we were going too slow for you."
He laughs, he actually laughs, at your words, but relents.
"I hear you, doll."
I hear you. Oh wow. His tongue replaces his finger and you lose all coherence, able only to blubber some iteration of his name as the smooth muscle traces circles around your clit, finally allowing your orgasm to build with a steady contraction in your pelvis. Barnes moans between your legs like he's never tasted chocolate or buttercream or any of those other wondrous flavors and there's only you. And that moan sends you overboard, the vibrations diffusing down your legs and you tremble into your first orgasm. Your first orgasm.
He keeps going, riding out the waves of your high until you're crying that it's too much, James, too much and he pulls his tongue away from your oversensitized clit only to move down your legs. He's working you up again, teasing the smooth skin of your inner thigh with gentle nips and kisses until your body is craving release again, your cunt clenching around nothing but the memory of his mouth. He is deliberate in his ministrations, methodical in the way he must be with his missions. The flood of your first orgasm has dripped steadily down your thigh and he cleans you with his tongue, dragging upward along the sticky trail of your musky release until his tongue makes contact again and he pulls an orgasm from your desperate body once more.
He still hasn't released your arms.
"You know how long I've wanted to do this?" he groans, as you shudder again into the pleasure of his touch. He kisses back up the length of your spine while you twitch under him, his free hand dragging shock wave after shock wave from your cunt. It strikes you that this man is truly 106, not 26 like his body suggests, and you absentmindedly wonder if that's why he's so good at it, that he's had years to practice. And then his cock is pressing against your folds and you forget the notion halfway through thinking it. "You're so good to me doll, so good for opening up for me. Wanna feel your tight pussy around me."
You push backward, or do your best to without the employment of your arms, wanting desperately to feel him inside you. He is warm and all-encompassing and part of you thinks his cock spilling his seed inside of you would complete you like nothing else. But you know that's a bad idea and you can hear him already unwrapping a condom (where did he get that from?) and your body trembles with the anticipation. You haven't even seen him yet but you know he must be big, the way he grunts when the tip of his erection teases your entrance.
When he enters you it isn't gentle like the stroke of his tongue. It splits you open with a rough thrust, the laces of your heart fully undone and releasing you from their confinement. You choke on your own air.
And then he's releasing your arms, and before you can react, Barnes has you lifted, your back to his chest, your knees shoved roughly into the mattress so he can stand and fuck you from behind. The metal arm finds your neck and forces your head back, his lips dragging hot against your soft skin and muttering filthy praise into your ear, his hand gently on your throat to hold you there. Your hands fly to his, not to pull him away, but to convince him to squeeze, just a little bit harder. The pressure is grounding, and then the hand around your waist is trailing toward the bud of your clit and rubbing in urgent circles and you let out a silent gasp as he thrusts into you at a pace astounding for the position you're in.
You come hard, over his hand, around his cock, and for the first time Barnes falters, stunned by the intensity with which you clamp around him and if he hadn't made you come two times already he might have held out a bit longer to pull another one of those stunning orgasms from your slick cunt. But you're sagging, using him to hold you up against the exhaustion of repeated abuse so he releases, riding the wave of pleasure you started. Bucky groans out your name, surprising you with the gentleness of it on his tongue despite the rough hand around your neck.
When he releases you softly back onto the bed, you sink heavily into the mattress, feeling high on pleasure and drunk on his hands. He pulls away and shuffles around the room, and if you had had any energy left you might have complained at the loss of him but as it sits nothing will rouse you from the intense desire to simply fall asleep.
He continues to move about and then... the lights go on? You groan at the harsh treatment of your eyes as they adjust. But Barnes returns and pulls you against him and apologizes for the rude awakening.
"Sorry, doll," he mutters. "Wanted to get a better look at you." His fingers glide along your back and his face nuzzles into the top of your head, breathing into your hair as you press your forehead into his chest. Despite being exhausted himself he trails his hands all over your body, exploring the side of you that has been shoved into the sheets for the better part of the evening. You let him, although your nerves feel fried and oversensitive to touch.
"Watch what you do with those hands," you giggle as his fingertips brush over a nipple, "unless you're ready to go again."
"Already looking forward to next time?"
"You wish," you tease, but already you know for certain that there will be a next time.
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nano--raptor · 8 days ago
A Love Like Daisies
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Pairing: 1940′s Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Words: 2470
Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Smut, sex, first times, soft sex, sex with feelings, Bucky being sweet and soft, but also damn sexy, kissing, brief handjob, protected sex
A/N: Written for @redhead-wine-and-literature-club​, a very late one for Love in Bloom. I’ve had writer’s block lately I guess, and I wrote this a little while ago, but am only posting it now. This is for Day 19: Daisy - Innocence and Purity. I thought 40′s Bucky would be perfect for this day, and I don’t think I’ve actually written him before? Anyways, thank you so much for reading!🥰
Divider by @firefly-graphics​​
My work is NOT to be copied, translated or reposted in ANY way.
18+ ONLY. This post contains mature subject matter. By clicking ‘keep reading’ you agree that you are 18+. Do not interact if you are under the age of 18.
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Bucky cupped your jaw, gently brushing his lips over yours, and your mouth parted for him automatically. Every movement with him felt so natural, he captivated you, and you couldn’t help but melt into him, falling apart in his hands with seemingly no work required on his part. His kisses were gentle at first, chaste even, until his tongue swiped over your lower lip and he tilted his head, slotting his mouth against yours. His thumb stroked over your cheek and he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth and swallowing your quiet moans.
Bucky smiled against your lips, his fingers trailing down your body to tease around the waistband of your skirt. With a hand on your waist, he urged you backwards until you felt yourself pressed against the wall, his fingers gently pulling your blouse loose from your skirt. His fingertips danced over your skin, your breath hitching from his feather-light touch. Reaching up to his shoulders, you fiddled with the collar of his shirt, his jacket already removed once you’d entered his apartment.
“You’re beautiful,” Bucky murmured against your lips, stealing more kisses, his hands gripping your waist beneath your blouse now. He hummed, pulling you against his body, then backing you against the wall again, his kisses becoming more passionate. Your body was humming from his touch and his praise, you knew where this was all headed and you were burning up from the thought of it.
“Bucky,” you gasped, pulling back for a breath and catching his gaze. The bright blue of his eyes was swallowed up by desire, now dark and wanting as he gazed at you, giving you a charming sideways grin that made your knees weak. Your hands shook slightly as you gripped his tie, slowly loosening it and watching as Bucky’s tongue flicked out to lick his bottom lip before pulling it between his teeth. Moving from the tie to his shirt, you slowly opened the buttons, untucking it from his pants as well, your fingers lingering at his waistband, nerves suddenly creeping in.
“You alright doll? We don’t have to do nothin’ you don’t wanna do.” His hand was on your cheek, gentle and comforting, and you leaned into it, bringing your arms up around his neck. Playing with the hair at the back of his neck, you pulled him close to kiss him again. 
“I’m okay, just a little nervous.” 
“I’ll take care of you sweetheart,” Bucky soothed. “But it’s okay to be nervous. Let’s go lie down where it’s more comfortable, that might help.” He spoke the invitation against your ear, the low tone of his voice making you shiver. Your stomach flipped in anticipation as he took your hand and led you to the bedroom, and as soon as you entered the room, Bucky pulled you close again, surging in to capture your lips in a deep, passionate kiss.
The kiss stole your breath, made your knees weak, and sent a spark down your spine right to your core. Your body tingled, it felt good, so good, yet unbearable at the same time. You needed something more, some relief. When you moaned, Bucky hummed in response, pulling you tighter against his body. A gasp caught in your throat when you felt him, his hardness pressing against you, and suddenly you ached for him.
Bucky pulled away and closed the door, smirking as he turned back and shrugged his shirt off, then stripped off his undershirt. You couldn’t help yourself as you gazed at his body, his toned chest and abs, dog tags resting over the hair on his chest, and you reached out to touch him, trailing your fingers over his torso and down to his belt. His eyes sparkled with desire, hooded and wanting, and you nibbled your lip now, a small smile pulling your lips as you shyly removed your own shirt. Then you reached back to his belt, unbuckling it as Bucky kissed you again. Finding the zipper on your skirt, he quickly unzipped it, letting it pool at your feet and urging you back onto the bed. He quickly rid himself of his slacks, joining you on the bed in his boxers, you in your bra and panties. You giggled shyly as you lay back, Bucky laying beside you and propping his head on his hand.
“You doin’ okay?” You nodded, and he traced a finger along your jaw. “Okay good. I’m gonna make you feel even better, if tha’s alright.” You nodded again, nibbling your lip as Bucky’s eyes flashed and he lowered his lips to your throat. 
He kissed along the column of your neck, over your shoulders and collar bones, his lips soft and gentle against your skin. His fingers danced over your body, making you shiver, before smoothly reaching to unclasp your bra without any trouble.
“You seem pretty practiced, Sarge,” you giggled, and Bucky smirked, a devilish grin, as he peeled your bra away, your nipples already pebbling under his gaze.
“I mighta’ done this once or twice before.” He winked and you giggled again, then he attacked your chest with kisses, making you squeal. The two of you had fooled around a lot already, but hadn’t gone all the way yet, and despite your nerves at undressing in front of him, so far he had made you feel very comfortable. If he was half as good at sex as he was at everything else, you knew you had nothing to worry about.
You gasped when his tongue laved over your nipple, sucking it gently into his mouth, his thumb swiping over the other as he massaged your breasts. It felt good, sending more shocks to your core, and you whined, your hands coming up to card through his hair.
Bucky hummed, his hand trailing all over your body, coming to rest at your waist as he kissed his way back up to your mouth. His fingers dipped into your panties, gently sliding the thin fabric down over your hips as his mouth was on yours again. You hardly noticed, until his warm hand was on your hip, pulling you against him the material of his boxers rubbing against your mound. His kisses were making you hot, your body instinctively rolling against his, and you trailed your hands over his skin, down his side until you met his waistband and slipped your fingers beneath. Bucky hummed into your mouth as you slowly pushed the material down, and he shifted to help you tug them off, kicking them onto the floor. He pulled away and met your gaze, heavy breathing matching yours, and you trailed your fingers back up over his hip, brushing over his hard length. When his eyes fluttered closed at your touch, you smiled, brushing over him again before wrapping your hand around him and squeezing gently. Bucky groaned, and his hips bucked into your hand. You leaned in close to press kisses to his throat, inhaling his scent as you slowly stroked him. He shivered, his hand coming down to grip your wrist.
“Mmm, feels s’good doll, but not yet. Wanna make you feel good an’ if you keep going I’m gonna blow before I get to ya.” He chuckled and you slowed your strokes but kept him in your hand. He felt good, he felt big, and solid, and your core was aching to feel him. Scooting closer you pressed your hips against his, wrapping your arm around his back and he did the same, finding your lips again as he urged you onto your back. 
His hand smoothed down over your hip to stroke gently along your thigh, slipping between your legs to gently ease them apart. His hand ran along your inner thigh until his fingers brushed against you and your breath caught sharply. Bucky hummed against your mouth, circling his fingers through your folds, through your arousal, until he was teasing your entrance, slipping just the tip of his finger inside. You whimpered, gripping his arm tightly, and he slid his finger in further, gently sliding it out again.
“That feel good?” His voice was a low rumble and you gave him a breathless yes in response, your body already unable to focus on anything aside from him.
“Yes Bucky, it’s good, it’s so good.” When he pushed a second finger into you, you whimpered again, your legs spreading further, wanting more. He chuckled, dropping his head to kiss your neck, gently opening you up with his hand.  It felt so much better than your own fingers, but you’d never really had them inside; allowing Bucky to be the first to explore your body was making your heart jump right into your throat, making you feel closer to him than ever.
After a few more strokes and kisses, Bucky slid his fingers out of you, meeting your eyes again. Your body was on fire, prickling with need, and you rolled your hips, whining at the loss of him from inside you. 
“I want it, baby, please,” you begged, cupping his face and looking into his eyes so he knew you meant it. 
“You sure doll?” You nodded, and he quickly pecked your lips again before rolling away to grab a condom from his bedside table. As he put it on, you smoothed your hand over his skin, your voice quiet now.
“Thank you.” Bucky looked up at you, his eyes soft, that crooked, boyish grin back.
“‘Course, I’ll use ‘em ‘till you tell me not to.” He winked, and you swatted his arm, giggling as he maneuvered over you until he was kneeling between your legs. 
“Here,” he urged, smoothing his hands over your skin again. “Bend your legs a bit, like this.” As he got you both into position, you couldn’t help but take him in again. Bucky Barnes was absolutely gorgeous. You felt lucky to date him, he was so popular with the ladies that you’d been shocked when he suddenly only had eyes for you. He took you on dates, took you for dinner, held your hand, kissed you, and you had been falling hopelessly in love with him. Looking over his lean, muscular body, his eyes bright and excited to share this moment with you, you felt a rush of love and desire, your hands reaching out for him, needing him close, now.
Bucky folded over you, bracing himself on one arm and finding your lips again, lining himself up until the tip of his cock pressed against you. It already felt so good that you couldn’t help but moan, and as he slowly pushed into you, the world seemed to stop turning.
It stretched, it burned, and it hurt, but at the same time, it felt so good that your mouth fell open and your eyes fell closed, focused on nothing else but the feel of him. Slowly, Bucky kept going, cupping your face, watching your features for any sign to stop, until he was finally fully seated within you. He sat for a moment, your eyes fluttering open to meet his. He looked absolutely sinful, hair mussed, eyes dark, flushed cheeks and pink lips. He looked like you felt, consumed with lust and want, wrecked already, and needing more.
“So good,” you assured him, and Bucky grinned, gently pulling back and pushing forward again. He began a slow, gradual rhythm, pumping in and out, cock sliding deliciously over your walls, dog tags clinking against his chest, and it felt so much better than you’d ever imagined. Your hips started rocking up to meet his, the pleasure blooming through your body, every part of you feeling like it was on fire. 
“Ah, baby you feel s’damn good, so tight, shit…” Bucky dropped his head to your shoulder, mouthing at your skin, and you wrapped your arms around his back, clinging to his shoulders as he thrust into you. When you raised your legs to a more comfortable position, he was suddenly able to thrust in deeper, and you squealed as it sent jolts of pleasure through you. Bucky grunted in your ear, and soon whines were falling from your mouth as you clung to him, locking your ankles around his waist as he pushed you closer to climax.
“Bucky! Oh god, oh god, oh, oh, ohhh.” His pace increased, and it felt so good, and then his fingers were back between your legs and - oh. When they circled over your sensitive bud, your body jerked against him, and he chuckled in your ear.
“Yeah you like that? I feel you squeezin’ me doll, it’s so good, you feel amazing.” He rubbed you faster, playing with your clit as he kept pumping into you, and soon you felt like you were going to absolutely explode. All you could do was hang on and moan his name, squeezing your eyes shut as the pressure began to build.
“Yeah baby, c’mon now, let go for me, c’mon doll, wan’chu to feel good baby…” A few more hard thrusts and just the right pressure from his fingers and the dam burst, white hot pleasure scorching through you. You cried out, trembling and tightening around him, and he hissed in your ear, his pace faltering before he groaned loudly, pulsing inside you as he filled the condom. 
He collapsed against you, crushing his mouth to yours and you tangled your hand into his hair, gripping tightly as you kissed him back roughly. Euphoria coursed through your veins, your hips still rolling with aftershocks. Bucky slowly pulled out of you with another groan, breaking the kiss to flop onto his back beside you. You couldn’t help but roll over into his arms, snuggling against his side and trying to catch your breath.
Bucky curled his arm around you, holding you close while you pressed kisses to his chest, his heart thundering inside and your pulse raging in your ears. After a few moments he looked down at you, tilting your chin up to kiss you gently, deeply, and you savoured the taste of him, letting yourself melt into the warmth of his body.
“Bucky, that was incredible.”
“I’m glad baby.” He pecked your lips before getting up to take off the condom and grab a cloth for you, before coming back to lay down and pull you into his arms. “So good sweetheart.” You melted into him, kissing him languidly as his hands smoothed over your body. He hooked your leg over his hip and grinned, and you squeaked when you felt him growing hard again. 
“Bucky!” He winked, grinning wickedly and rolling his hips against yours.
“I've got more rubbers if you wanna go again darlin’, just say the word.” You felt your face flush, but you couldn’t deny that in Bucky’s arms was where you wanted to stay.
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jodfics · 17 days ago
Dirty Brooklyn
Female USO Reader x Bucky Barnes
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Timeline: 1940s
Rating: NSFW
Prompt: Inspired by this post Created by @actuallyasgardian​​
A/N: I would pay to have him talk to me like that....
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"Come for me, darlin'. Come on. Don't be shy, now...all of it."
She loved when his Brooklyn accent came out. When it was thick and prominent with lust. She had never been to New York. And now, in the middle of Europe, a USO dancing girl in 'Captain America's' soon to be cancelled tour. She didn't think she would ever see the place her blue-eyed lover was born.
She also loved how Bucky was a master of her body. His fingers curled inside her, massaging something inside that was making her body spasm and thrash. His fingers worked in and out of her at a maddening speed, and the soldier kept goading her. He wanted her to come, wanted her to scream his name for the whole barracks to hear, and the lewd sound of his digits pumping in and out of her soaking hole as she clenched was her undoing.
"Good girl...Mmm, fuck, so good," Y/N let out a helpless whine when she caught him sucking on his fingers as if she tasted like the sweetest honey.
"You're gonna be the death'a me, doll. You're a dirty little dame, aren't ya? Do that thing with your tongue again. Ah…shit…"
Y/N's tongue gave a broad lick along the vein of his cock from root to tip, circling the head in a fancy swirl before using the end of her tongue to tease his slit.
She was supposed to be practising a new routine to entertain the troops. Her friends were already on the makeshift stage going through the routine whilst she was tucked away, in a concealed corner, with Bucky. Worshipping his erection with her tongue and lips, getting off on his muffled moans and his hands fisting into her hair.
"I'm not tellin' you again, darlin'. You keep bitin' on that lip, and I'll be puttin' that pretty little mouth'a yours to good use."
She hadn't meant to catch his attention; honestly, she had just been sat at the bar, swinging her legs playfully as she sucked on the straw of her drink. It was a dance night, but Bucky was busy talking strategy with Steve. The blonde man threw apologetic glances her way - he was fond of the USO girls, and they adored him back. As far as they were concerned, Steve was one of the girls.
Y/N had been chewing on her bottom lip distractedly, staring off into space when Bucky's broad body pressed against her back, and he made the playful threat, "Sorry, Sarge." She batted her eyelashes at him and giggled happily when he took her hand and pulled her into the dance hall.
"Is there somethin' you're wantin', doll? You're gonna have to use some words. Throw in a, 'Please, Sarge,' and I'll be real good to ya."
He was a real tease.
Eyes full of mischief and desire as he breathed against her upper thigh, kissing the delicate skin and grinning at her desperate little mewls, "I want your mouth on me! I wanna fuck your face, Sarge! Please, Sarge!" There was no room to be ashamed, to feel the sting of humiliation at begging so filthily just for his perfect mouth to ruin her.
"Gonna be so, so good to ya…." There wasn't a single person in the building that didn't hear her delight when Sargent Barnes' head dived between her thighs. He always seemed like a starving man, sucking and licking and nibbling at her until there wasn't a single drop left.
"You can take all of it, doll. Good girl. Goddamn, honey, you feel so good. You know how good you feel, darlin'?"
He was generously endowed, and he made sure she knew it.
Making her lungs empty of all air as he held her hips still and pushed himself into her. Watching as her quivering hole stretched around him and slowly swallowed his length – he knew she was too full but would keep going. Forcing her to take all of him whilst telling her how good she was.
And when he was balls deep. When she couldn't take even a millimetre more. Bucky would pause just to feel her hot, wet walls hugging him tightly, throbbing and clenching so deliciously that she would come just from being full.
When Y/N's trembling spasms calmed, and when he could feel her juices leaking out around him, creating a damp patch on the bed, he would fuck her – hard and fast. Ploughing into her as her thighs spread further, and his name was the only thing she could utter.
"Shit...ah hell, honey. I'm gonna- shit. Shit, come here, take it. Take it, fuckin' hell, doll, yeah. Just like that, darlin'. My god, you beautiful girl."
Y/N always forgave him when he fisted her hair and pushed himself a little further into her mouth than she was comfortable with. She would leave angry scratches down his thighs and try to swallow around his length. Try to take his load as gracefully as she could, and she would forgive that his body would lock, and he'd just bury himself until she almost choked.
As long as she was the cause of his lack of control, she would forgive him.
She made him whimper and moan, made him lose his wits until that primal, urgent need to take what he needed and wanted took over. Bucky's body sagged against the wall, knees unable to keep him up as he slid to the floor with her, and he would lick his lips and give her a lopsided grin.
His thumb caught the string of seed that had escaped and dribbled down her chin, caressing her lips until she opened up and sucked the remainder from the digit. "You're my best know that, right?" Y/N felt her cheeks burn and nodded as she watched him pant, admiring the glow of his skin as he came down from orgasm, "Such a good girl for me."
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heyquxxns · 18 days ago
Say You’ll Remember Me - Chapter Eleven
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Summary: The storm is coming 
Words: 4K
TW:  New characters alert played by Ben Barnes!!!
A/N: This is a shorter chapter since it took me forever to update >_<. I started working and my hours are going to get longer. So updates will become slower if I want to make long chapters. But in the meantime please please please continue to comment and reblog. It’ll help me figure out what else you guys want to see while also exposing this series to others!
Edit: My dumbass forgot to edit the summary >_<
Queens New York, 1945
Family Dinner with The Barnes and The Y/L/N
In just two months, it would have been an entire year since Bucky had died. A whole year since her heart had ripped out of her chest and thrown into The Austria Alps. To distract herself from it all, Y/N picked up more shifts at the diner. It kept her busy for the most part, allowing a few hours of peace even if it meant dealing with a few unruly customers. It beat working at a hospital where the constant reminder of those she couldn’t save was. Days she didn’t work were spent in the kitchen, cooking meals and baking goods. Her mother couldn’t argue with her, knowing it kept her daughter distracted. She kept her daughter from falling into a hole deep enough that no one would be able to get her out. 
It also kept her mind off the interviews. How press would try and contact her to learn more about Steve or more about her late boyfriend. 
The only time she didn’t cook was on the Friday nights when the Y/L/N and the Barnes would have family dinner. Sometimes Bucky’s family would come over, or it was the other way around. Either way, both families agreed that the Nurse would not step foot into the kitchen and instead enjoy herself surrounded by her loved ones. This Friday, her family was hosting. Alexander had told them all he would be late, saying he was bringing a guest over for dinner.  His statement resulted in both Mrs. Barnes and Mrs. Y/L/N panicking, wanting to make dinner special for whoever this guest was. 
The kids thought nothing much of it—just the oldest of them all bringing over a friend. 
Alexander arrived just as dinner was placed on the table with the guest of honor.
The Corporal had always been quite popular, even before the war. If Bucky was known as the ladies’ man of Brooklyn, then Alexander was Queen’s. Not only was he incredibly handsome, but he was pretty brilliant, graduating from Princeton University with a Bachelors in Mechanical Engineering while minoring in Electrical Engineering before the war started. When Alexander joined the army, he was pretty popular there as well. However, it wasn’t until he told everyone that his sister was the Y/N Y/L/N of the Howling Commandos that people seem to befriend him for an alternative motive. 
The information would be released to the public afterward due to countless interviews and such. Because of this and the idea of being associated with Captain Steven Rogers, men had asked Alexander to introduce them when the war ended. Of course, when the news broke out that she had been engaged to marry The Sergeant before his death, a few decided they didn’t want to deal with her baggage. 
What assholes. 
There was only one man Alexander believed genuinely was good enough for his sister: a medic named Russell Knoeringer, born and raised in Philadelphia. His hair was dark, almost as dark as his eyes. He wasn’t scrawny, but he was muscular either, ideally in the middle between both. And when he greeted each and every person at the table, he gave them a smile that could’ve ended the war. When it came time to introduce himself to the Nurse, though, that smile soften just a little along with the look in his eyes. 
“It’s nice to see you again, Y/N.” 
“Likewise. Glad you made it out of there in one peace.”
They both ignore as eyes look between the two, even more so as the two men take a seat. Alexander purposely makes The Medic sit between him and his sister. “The two of you know each other.”. It wasn’t a question. 
“We met briefly.”. 
The questions start after they all say grace, the two medical personnel suddenly being bombarded though it was primarily questions targeted at Russell. 
What his parents did for a living
What he did before the war
Level of education and what college he attended if he went
If he had any siblings
What he intended to do now the war was over
“How did you two meet?” The dying question came from sweet Bradford, looking at the soldier with bright eyes. He was only met with dark eyes that seem to become even darker, almost at the same time as his sister’s. His gaze doesn’t leave the Medic even as an awkward silence fills the room or when the man looks down at his plate. 
“We uh...we meet at the Battle of The Bulge.” Y/N answers for Russell, staring down at her own plate. “We worked together a few times.”. Andrew and Russell switched places, the older man taking the kid’s place in the field while Andrew took the hospital. The Medic beside her had witnessed many of her panic attacks and vice versa. When the Howlies left, Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if she would ever see him again. And if she did, would she see him all in one piece and mentally stable. Russell also worried about her when she left, even more so when the news about The Sergeant came out. He had been stationed in France still when he heard from someone, thoughts immediately going onto her. The Medic had pretty much figured out they were together each time she dragged him back to their foxhole. And then when the news about The Captain came out, he tried everything to find her location in order to write to her. Unfortunately, the location of the Howling Commandos was top secret for some reason. 
One could only imagine his joy upon finding out he was friends with her brother. Even more so when he found out she had return home okay. 
The rest of the dinner was awkward, even as Russell and Alexander insist on helping clean up. The tension only grows as The Nurse and The Medic wash dishes together in silence. Dark brown eyes glance at her a few times before he finally speaks. 
“You think Alexander brought me here in hopes to make you forget about Bucky.”. 
“What else do you expect me to think? Alexander never brings friends over for dinner. When he does, it happens to be a man I worked with.”. 
A heartbeat. And then. 
“I’m not here to steal your heart, Y/N. I’m here to be a friend, someone you can talk to that has some idea of what you’ve seen out there. Sure, there are thousands of nurses and medics, but...only so many of us were there at the Bulge. And only so many people know what you’re going through.”.
Another moment of silence. 
“You were engaged to get married as well, were you not? Said you had a girl back in Philly waiting for you.”. 
Russell just shrugs, taking a plate from her to dry.
“Death took your fiancé. Infidelity took advantage of my fiancée. Her excuse was she got tired of waiting, so she sold the ring I bought her, met some man from California and they ran away together. She didn’t bother with a letter. Her mother had to tell me when I got back, had to apologize for her daughter’s actions.”. 
A frown forms on her lips, recalling how much he talked about the woman—a school teacher with pretty red hair and freckles. She clearly didn’t deserve someone like Russell anyway. 
“I work down at Ma’s Dinner every day. Feel free to come in if you’d like. You can finally get that Vanilla milkshake you’ve been craving.”. For the first time in a while, both of them managed to form small, genuine smiles on their lips. 
“Sound’s good.”. 
And ever since then, The Medic would visit The Nurse at Ma’s Dinner almost every day. He’d sit at the bar table and order a french vanilla milkshake with caramel drizzle, sometimes even bringing her a gift. Upon finding out that one of her favorite authors was Agatha Christie, he stopped at the closest book shop to pick up her latest books that The Nurse had missed due to the war.  Sometimes, he’d even buy himself a copy to talk to her about it. Another time, he had stopped and gotten her the yellow roses with the red tips. 
The two would grow closer as the weeks passed, digging each other out of holes too deep for anyone else. Although Alexander would bring other guests to family dinner, everyone eventually catching on that he was bringing home potential suitors for his sister; the Nurse always asked if the Medic would be joining them. Eventually, she would bring her own guest, and to no one’s surprise, it would always be Russell. It was not long before Russell was no longer a guest but part of the family. 
Russell Knoeringer couldn’t replace Bucky Barnes; they all knew that. And Alexander would eventually accept that his sister wasn’t interested in any of the men he brought home for her to meet. But had the car accident never happened? Had she never been cursed with immortality and was able to grow old, to live a normal life?
Y/N Y/L/N could have seen herself falling madly in love with the Medic. 
Unknown, 1999
A week after The Soldat killed Nikolai Sergeev
Instead of a cell, Hydra had given her a much nicer room to waste away in. This time, there was an actual bed with thicker blankets and softer pillows, her own bathroom with her own shower. However, everything was built in a way that she couldn’t escape or kill herself. If she was needed to take care of their asset, the medical supplies would be brought to her instead of stored in the room. Before she could enter the room each time, an agent would pat her down to make sure she hadn’t snuck anything in. Most days were spent alone in that room, sometimes being provided a book or two to read. Many of the agents here were new and younger-looking than the agents she had met before. Y/N wondered whatever happened to Galina though, she wouldn’t be surprised if the woman was long gone now. Maybe at a different base. 
It was the end of the first week when she was dragged out of her room by two of these Hydra agents, following them down similar concrete hallways only to be brought to a lab. The same torture device used for the Soldat sits in the middle of it all, only it looked as if it had gotten a few upgrades over the years. It clearly wasn’t meant for her as they urged her to climb the stairs to an office.
 Alexander’s Pierce’s office. 
The Nurse notices the look of amazement in his eyes when she enters the room, probably still taken by surprise at her condition. He obviously looked a lot older, wrinkles formed into his face more than ever now, and his hair was mostly grey. Though she could tell that man had tried to hide that fact. He was due for a new dye session. 
“I always thought you just aged slower than the average person,’s clear you just don’t age at all.”These are the man’s words as he eyes her up and down, Y/N shifting uncomfortably at the action. She never liked being glossed over like a piece of meat. The Nurse got enough of that whenever she walked out on the street during her everyday life. 
“Why was I brought up here?”She questions him, avoiding looking him directly in the eye. Y/N hated how much he scared her, not because she couldn’t fight him but because of how much power he had. It wasn’t like she could kill him and bring down Hydra on her own. Not only does she not have the resources, but The Nurse was alone. There was clearly a bug in the United States Government that allowed the organization to grow so large in such a short amount of time. And, despite his precious asset’s love for her, there was nothing stopping Pierce from getting the Winter Soldier to kill her.
“We took a deeper look into your past while you were gone, Miss. Y/L/N. Tried to understand just how your condition came to be and if it was possible to recreate your accident. Unfortunately, it was ultimately decided to try to replicate this would be near impossible hence experiments coming to an end.”. 
“Still doesn’t explain why I was brought to your office.”.
“You’re not just a nurse, correct? Spent a few years as a Shield agent, working closely with Agent Peggy Carter.” The Nurse isn’t given any time to answer as the man pulls out a file from his desk with her name on it, opening it up. “It says here you were trained in martial arts and yet….on every mission you’ve been on, you were only credited as a medic.”. 
Y/N can only shrug. “I’m better at healing and taking care of others than I am at fighting. I’m sure you know how people compared Sergeant Barnes and me to Ares and Aphrodite. Love and war.”. 
Blue eyes land on her as he nods, deep in thought. It makes her shift on her other foot again. 
“Because we can no longer undergo any sort of experiments, we want to take advantage of your gift. The asset is already interested in you and clearly won’t kill you like he has others so training should go smoothly. In the meantime, however, you’ll continue to be his medic. Perhaps take care of other agents as well.”.
“Training for what, exactly?”. 
The old man gives her a small smile as she sits back down at her desk, motioning for two agents to come to take her away. 
“For you becoming an agent, of course. Like you said, you and The Asset were compared to Ares and Aphrodite. The fist of Hydra clearly has feelings for you as well as a bit...protective. I’m sure I wouldn’t be too far off to say you’re just as protective. With you under the training of The Winter Soldier and under Hydra’s supervision, we hope to make you the other first of Hydra. What we will call you will come later depending on if you are to cooperate.”.
Silence. And then…
“And if I don’t? If I decide to fight back against you all?”.
The older man motioned his head out the window to his office, the Winter Soldier walking in and sitting down in the electric chair. A quick wiping before sending him on his mission. Her gaze follows, heart sinking into her stomach. The room must have been sound proof because even though his mouth was moving, Y/N couldn’t hear the screams coming from him.
“We’ll have him programmed to kill you. And I sure you know how much damage that will do to Sergeant Barnes.”. 
Queens New York, 2023
Returning home from their road trip, still no information on Karli.
Sergeant happily rushes into the apartment the second his owner unlocks the door, more than happy to back home with all his toys. Y/N and Bucky follow after him, exhausted from their small adventure and back. They had both forgotten how bad the traffic coming into the city was, the two deciding that stopping to pick something up for dinner wasn’t all that worth it. Neither was delivery. 
“I should get going, Doll.”.
She stops in her track, turning around as she sees Bucky was still standing by the door. “You just got here, Hon. And plus, you’ve been driving for the majority of the day. Aren’t you tired?”.
“I know, I know. But it’s late, and the train to Brooklyn only runs between certain times.”.
They stare back at each other for a moment, the Sergeant watching as she gently bites her lower lip before speaking. 
“Stay the night? And..and if you want, you could always just move in with us. O-or if you really want, we could find a place together in Brooklyn; my lease is almost up for this place. I know it’s r-really early, and everything is kinda crazy right now, b-but I think it would be nice, right? Even it’s just temporary. Would make searching for comet much easier wouldn’t have to track me down at the diner.”She says it all in one breath.
Perhaps it was too early for all this.
“I know it’s a lot right now, didn’t mean to overwhelm you.”.
“I...I’m not overwhelmed.”He managed to say. 
“You’re looking at me like a deer in headlights, Bucky.”. 
“I’m just...I’m just shocked that you want this with me, that’s all.” The super soldier kicks off his shoes, making his way over to her. Taking her hand into his, Bucky presses a kiss to the back of it. “I’m surprised you still want a future with me in, that you could possibly imagine one with me in it.”. 
“Why wouldn’t I want I?”.
“Because I killed your brother.”. That is what Bucky wanted to say, what he knew he should have said. Now would be a perfect moment to tell her before it was too late, especially since he liked the idea of moving into a place with her. The thought of waking up every morning to see her and the newfoundland made a warm fuzzy feeling form in his chest. It would be a step towards a life he had once promised her, a step towards living a peaceful life. 
Telling her the truth may bring her some sort of closure about Bradford’s death, but it would cause The Nurse to look at him differently. To look at him like she should have looked at the Winter Soldier the entire time: A monster. 
Had The Asset been here, standing in his position right now, would he also feel guilty about killing his lover’s brother? Would he find it hard to tell her in fear she wouldn’t love him anymore? The one person who truly ever saw him as a human, to treat him so kindly suddenly seeing him as the monster he was. Did the Winter Soldier even remember who Bradford Y/L/N before he killed him, able to recognize the family name?
“Because of everything we’ve been through these past few days. It may have seemed forever ago, but it’s only been a week since this all started. Us being reunited, you telling me about the wasn’t that long ago.”. 
The Nurse gently squeezes his hand.” You’re more than welcome to spend the night, Bucky. I meant it when I said I’m ready to try again, whether we pick up where we left off, or we start from scratch.”. Her attention goes from the super soldier to Sergeant, who brings over his food bowl. Y/N goes to feed the newfoundland, not noticing as steel blue eyes watch her every move. 
He wanted this. 
Wanted this peaceful life.
Wanted her. 
In the book Great Gatsby, Daisy’s family had a green light at the end of their dick in which Gatsby could see from his house. It’s this very green light in which Nick first sees Gatsby stretching his arms towards a green light, the symbol of hope as well as longing. 
Bucky was longing for this perfect life with Y/N, reaching out for it.
“I saw a lot of dead bodies, and I know how that can shut you down. And if you are alone? That is the quietest, most personal hell. And James, it is very hard to escape.”
A pair of strong arms wrap around her waist as she takes taco shells from the cabinet above her head, a soft smile forming on her lips as The Sergeant buries his face into the crook of her neck. Staying with her would be better than going home to a nearly empty apartment, better than sleeping on a cold hard floor. She wasn’t working at the diner tonight, so he wouldn’t be able to see her after his nightmares. Sleeping in bed came much easier when The Nurse was by his side anyways, making the softness of the mattresses a little more bearable. And yet, even with Y/N snuggled into him that night, fear kept him awake for most of the night. When he did sleep, he would only be awakened by his nightmares. Only his fear feeds into them, making him relive the moment he, The Winter Soldier, ended Bradford Y/L/N life. 
This would continue for the next few days.
As Sam Willson worked tirelessly to become the best Captain America he could be, Bucy and Y/N began their search for the next appearance of the comet, all while living that apple pie life they both dreamed of.  He had eventually found himself spending more time at The Nurse’s apartment, enough times that Sergeant starting to meet him at the door. By the fifth night, the super-soldier had gotten her coffee order down during a trip to Starbucks: An iced Caramel Macchiato with extra caramel drizzle and five hots of vanilla syrup.  It obviously took him a few tries to make it perfect for her in the morning, but Bucky eventually got there. Whenever his shirts at gone missing, Y/N was the prime suspect. Eventually, he had started to purposely leave his shirts at her place. 
So many opportunities to tell her about what he’d done, to sit her down and bring her that closure she had been looking for. But instead, he wanted to enjoy the peaceful moments they shared for as long as he could. To have her look at him with nothing but love and pure joy, look at him like she did before everything had gone wrong. 
The Nurse was, of course, a hot topic at his last meeting with Doctor Raynor. 
“Well, I’m glad you’re starting to maintain healthy relationships. Even if it’s with your lover from the war, we can still consider this some sort of progress.” The doctor doesn’t write any of this down, however, getting the filing that The Nurse wouldn’t want the government to know she was alive. That would be a whole ‘nother set of issues. Raynor does notices how the man before her stares off into the distance, twiddling his thumbs. 
“You didn’t tell her yet.” Not a question, he realizes quickly. It was a statement. 
“Ah yes, I’m definitely going to tell my lover of seventy-eight years that I killed her baby brother in cold blood.”. He decides to ignore the frown that forms on the woman’s face, suddenly finding his metal hand much more interesting.  
“The more you wait, the worse her reaction may be.”.
“I know, Doc. It's just hard, okay? I-”.
“It doesn’t matter how hard it is, James. You’re scared that she’ll look at you like a monster, I get it. Hydra made you do horrible things for the last few decades, moving from one fight to another non-stop. I understand that you’re trying to milk out this...this honeymoon phase for as long as possible in hopes to live that peaceful life you’ve been longing for, that life you promised her.” Raynor lets out a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. She honestly felt like she was stuck in a romantic novel or film, forced to spectate as the drama unfolded. 
“Y/N loves you. She knows better than anyone what you’ve been through and she loves you regardless of your past. However, she’s not going to be upset that you killed her brother. Everyone knows you have no choice. Y/N’s going to be upset not only because she wasn’t the first person you told but because you’re pretending everything is fine. You’re pretending that you’re not feeling that overwhelming guilt every time you look at her or whenever she mentions him. Good relationships are built on trust, James. Keeping this secret from her...keeping his secret from here might ruin what you’ve worked so hard for.”. 
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the-fallen-nightmare · 21 days ago
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Summary: 1940'S Bucky Barnes x Reader/ Present Bucky Barnes x Reader.
Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, some smut at some point.
Summary: Before the war, Bucky and Reader had the picture perfect life together. When she lost him, she thought that she would never find that kind of love again. However, someone from a different time returns to give her that love once more. Will she follow them through the unknown or come to terms that her once in a lifetime love is truly gone?
A/N: sorry for the long awaited update. This chapter isn’t very good, tbh. But the bigger part of the story is coming! 
TAGS: @overthinkinggotmedrinking @igothroughphasesalot @veralyonn @shannonleanna182 @white-wolf-buckaroo @whatawildone @jessyballet @sebby-staan @multiyfandomgirl40 @andeys-obsessions @spid3rgwen @slut-for-buck @spideyyypeter @voguekristen @justmeandmyfuckeduplife @kenziekugler22 @hoodedbirdie​
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January 12, 1942
“James Buchanan Barnes!” 
Laughter bounced off the walls of the small apartment as I ran around the couch, trying to escape Bucky’s wrath. With a quick jump over the couch, Bucky had tackled me to the floor, all but gently, and his fingers attacked my sides. A horrendous laugh escaped my throat while Bucky non stop tickled me. 
“Say it!” He yelled. 
“Never!” I breathed during giggles. 
Bucky lifted me from the ground onto the couch, pinning our hips together and locking my hands above my head. 
“Say it,” he repeated. 
My chest rose and fell as I tried to catch my breath but still wouldn’t say the words. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. 
“You’ll never hear me utter those words,” I sliced my eyes into his. 
Bucky smirked. “I know what will make you talk.” 
His fingers gripped my thigh and I tensed under his touch, knowing exactly what he was talking about. 
“Don’t you do it,” I threatened. 
Suddenly, his fingers squeezed my thigh over and over again causing me to yelp out in laughter. I felt my tough exterior fall away as Bucky continued to tickle my thigh. 
“OKAY! FINE YOU WIN!” I bellowed, giving up. 
“SAY. IT!” Bucky said. 
Silence fell around us and while Bucky smirked down at me in victory, I pushed my bottom lip out in a giant pout. 
“I hate you.” 
He leaned down and kissed my pouted lip. “Love you too, doll.” 
We kissed once more, this time longer and more passionate than the last one. Bucky let my hands go and I ran them through his hair and down his back, nails digging into his skin through his shirt. 
“Aw, come on guys. Really? I’m still here!” 
Bucky rolled off my hips while helping me to a sitting position and I gave an apologetic smile to Steve. He was walking back into the living room, bowl full of chips in one hand and beers in the other. 
“Sorry, Stevie.” 
It was Saturday night and we all met at Steve’s apartment for our usual movie night. Except we hadn't seen Steve in almost two weeks because Bucky and I had been so busy with each other that we didn’t stop to think of our other best friend that we almost ditched completely. 
Steve said he didn’t mind, liking the time alone, but we both knew that he was hurt that we hadn’t made the time for him. 
There was also a massive thing that we had to talk to Steve about; something we weren’t happy about. 
“So, do you want to tell us where you were this morning?” I asked with a raised brow. 
Steve gave me a confused look so I continued. “Bucky said he saw you coming out of the enlisting office again.” 
He sighed while giving us an apologetic look. I would have believed it if he actually was sorry. This wasn’t the first time we caught him trying to enlist for the war. They denied him so many times now he started to lie on the forms, saying he’s from somewhere else; a different city and even sometimes a different state. 
“They’re going to accept me soon.” 
“Are you asking for a death wish?” Bucky semi-snapped. 
“I can’t sit by and watch other men lay down their lives. I have to do something,” Steve stated. 
A soft sigh fell from my lips and with a sad stare, I placed my hand on his knee so Steve could look into my eyes. 
“We’re worried about you, Steve. That’s all.” 
He nodded and placed his hand over my own. “I know but you have to understand that I’m not going to stop until they take me.” 
I hesitated to speak but Bucky’s voice stopped me. 
“Doll, come here.” 
He nodded towards the spot next to him and without a second thought, I snuggled closer into his chest, breathing in his scent. No matter how bad I was feeling or sour in a mood I was, Bucky’s scent always relaxed me instantly. 
“It’s not worth it, sweetheart. You can’t change his mind,” Bucky muttered into the mess of my hair. 
I nodded while my arms snaked around his body, letting the warmth spread from his body to my own. 
The three of us sat quietly, letting the noise from the television be the only thing we bothered to listen to. My mind wandered to the smaller man sitting next to us, wondering what was going through his own mind. 
I knew he wanted nothing more than to enlist in the current war because he wanted to stand up to the bad guys. That’s what we loved about Steve, always willing to stand up against the bully’s, not letting any of them knock him down. 
Truthfully, I knew that they wouldn’t take him because of his list of medical issues but I couldn't help the lingering fear that I would be left all alone sooner than I thought.
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vanillabqrnes · 24 days ago
Jealousy ➪ Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
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Summary- Watching your crush dancing with someone else is never easy, is it?
Warnings- Swearing
539 Words
I know I haven't updated in a while but I am trying to upload more
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"Doll if you continue gripping that glass like that there won't be a glass anymore." Bucky reminded you, trying to pry the glass of whiskey out of your hands.
"I think it'll survive." You spat, sneering at Steve and Peggy on the dance floor, dancing like it was only them in the room.
"Uhm no Doll, it probably won't." Bucky countered now successfully prying out of your hands which had an intense death grip on it as if you let it go the whole world would deteriorate, something Y/N wouldn't mind happening at the moment.
"Y/N. What's going on?" Bucky inquired placing the half-full glass of whiskey on the oak, weathered and wobbly table.
You could tell Bucky was being serious, he only addressed you by your actual name if he was concerned. Tears welling up in your eyes, you murmur, "Steve."
"Steve? What about Steve?" Bucky asked surprisingly still oblivious of what you were referring to.
"Steve and Peggy!" You huffed, "Steve and Perfect Peggy." You now grimaced like the thought of the notion was a crime.
"Oh Doll," Bucky started to coo but was cut off by you suddenly declaring: "You know what, fuck it. Fuck him. Fuck Precious Peggy. Fuck it all." Then hastily chucking down the auburn alcohol down your throat, not wincing at the burning sensation running travelling down. Then wobbling off your bar stool to order another.
"Jesus Y/N, slow down. I'm sorry Doll, but you're a major lightweight so sit down." Bucky advised anxiously, reaching for your arm to guide you back onto the barstool.
"I-I'm fine." You burped with a faint smile but it didn't convince Bucky.
"If you carry on drinking like that, you won't be in the morning, Doll."
Bucky then realised, "Doll how much have you had to drink?".
Bashfully smirking, you answered, "In my lifetime at least-".
Rolling his eyes, slightly annoyed he said matter-of-factually, "I think it may be someone's home time." whilst trying to make you stand up again.
Noticing you both standing up, Steve comes out of his trance when dancing with Peggy and they both jog over to you two, Steve delirious with glee.
"Hey Buck, Y/N. Where are you two going?" Steve quizzed, face slightly dropping as he realises you two may be leaving, together.
"I'm just gonna take Y/N home she's-"
"Oh, will you just piss off?" Y/N rolled her eyes and spat at Steve.
"Y/N?" Peggy asked, beyond shocked you would say anything to Steve or in general like that.
"Oh, you can piss off as well you prick." You slurred now almost losing your balanced but Bucky caught you just in time.
"I'm sorry?" Peggy asked even more shocked and now offended than before.
"You heard me you cun-" You threatened but was stopped by Bucky interjecting with a big false smile, "Wow I think someone has had far too much to drink, so I think we should leave. Now."
“No I'm not done-" You argued but were dragged outside by Bucky.
"Bye!" Bucky called, letting the door slam loudly behind you too. "You are a massive moron," Bucky muttered.
"I don't think I fucked up too bad, right?" You convinced yourself, nodding affirmingly.
"Whatever you say Doll, whatever you say."
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jodfics · 24 days ago
My Girl
Female Reader x Bucky Barnes
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Timeline: 1940′s Rating: NSFW Prompt: Shipped off to England awaiting his orders, Bucky meets a girl. A/N: I’m really proud of this one too. There’s some angst in here so make sure you have some tissues.
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Y/N gave a sigh as more of the noisy American boys flooded into the dance hall; they had just arrived and were eager to enjoy their downtime while it lasted. They were being stationed in the barracks of the English countryside but it was only a matter of time before they were shipped out to Europe. She didn't mind them too much; it was just they were rowdy and she had enough to deal with as a military nurse without brawls breaking out every night. The English lads didn't like how flirty their new allies were, and a lot of the girls didn't know what to make of it. She, personally, found some of the new arrivals awful.
The nurse had come with her friends to enjoy a few dances before returning to their barracks and getting much-needed rest, but she had a problem.
A very loud and very handsy problem.
The Soldier targeted her as soon as he stepped through the door, and several times she had politely declined his offer of a drink. "Come on! Just one dance, just wanna see your pretty skirt twirl a little!" His hand was wrapped around her wrist again, and with an annoyed huff, she pulled herself free. He was more persistent than the last time with more drink in him; he grabbed her upper arm and yanked hard enough that the seam along her sleeve split.
Y/N let out a sharp gasp in both surprise and pain. Before she could yell at him and shove the heel of her hand against his chin, another man seemed to materialise by her side and pulled him away. "Didn't bring your manners, pal?" She stared at the broad back in front of her; the newcomer seemed to be blocking her from the drunk's view on purpose, it was a very protective stance, and Y/N felt a little more at ease. "I think you need to head back to barracks. Better yet – Go back to Jersey."
"Why don't you butt out!" The drunk exclaimed and swayed toward the man with a beefy fist raised. A protective arm shot out toward Y/N and gently swept the nurse to the side with him as he dodged the sloppy punch; the drunk fell against the table and cursed loudly. He made another swing, and this time, the Soldier landed a solid, right hook to the drunk's jaw and knocked him out cold.
A cheer rose up, some of the other soldiers clapping and raising their glasses, "You show 'im, Sarge!"
"Alright, Bucky! You show 'em how Brooklyn boys do it!"
Y/N sighed at the rowdy men and turned to leave, this was enough for one night and she really was tired. "Hey, wait!" The tall man fell into step beside her, and Y/N froze when she saw his face for the first time; he smiled at her with a somewhat lopsided grin. "He's one of mine, sorry he caused trouble for you… I know he's been hounding you all night already, but…" he gave a shrug, "Can I buy you a drink?"
There was no possible way she couldn't stare at him. He was so attractive that she was captivated simply by his steel-blue eyes and his perfectly chiselled features. He wore his hat slightly to the side, brunette hair styled neatly beneath it. His entire appearance was impeccable, and she didn't think she'd seen a uniform look so well on anyone else. But his mouth… Those perfectly shaped, plump lips, pink and moist as his tongue peeked out to lick his bottom lip in what she assumed was out of habit. The corners curled up just right and Y/N couldn't have refused if she'd wanted to. "Sergeant James B Barnes of the one o seventh."
She blinked rapidly, her brain trying to process the information and get away from how beautiful he was, "Y/N, Queen Alexandra's Imperial Military Nursing Service." It was a mouthful to say; however, she was incredibly proud of the service. She pointedly ignored his bemused expression – he was likely trying to turn it into an acronym but no one had managed it yet. "And I'd like a G and T, please, Sergeant."
"Bucky." He said with another charming smile and pulled a chair out for her at the first free table he found.
"Sorry?" The nurse tucked her skirt underneath her as she sat, looking up at him, slightly confused by the single word he had uttered.
"Call me Bucky." Another flash of teeth and he was striding toward the bar, parting a few soldiers confidently and getting the barman's attention. She watched him curiously, admiring his confidence and poise – he had a funny accent. Still, he behaved better than most of his fellows had been so far. Soon he was back, setting their drinks down and sitting across from her before taking his hat off and carefully running his hand over his hair to keep it neat. Not that there had been anything wrong with it. Y/N wasn't really sure what to say to him and sipped quietly at her drink before asking him where the name 'Bucky' came from and he leaned forward to speak to her. Bucky seemed to be naturally friendly, and his every gesture showed it. "Buchanan is my middle name, my pal, Steve, came up with calling me Bucky, and it kinda stuck. James is what my Ma calls me; usually when I'm in trouble!"
He was so boyishly charming that Y/N began to relax and fell into easy conversation with him, which was only the beginning of her trouble. The way he unconsciously swayed to the music was a massive indicator that he liked to dance, and she really wasn't very keen on the activity. "How old's your sister?" The nurse had to smile when he sat up straight and furrowed his brows, lips pursed slightly as he so obviously wondered how she knew he had a sister. Y/N rested her chin on the palm of her hand and continued, "When you got between that guy and me earlier. You blocked me from his view and kept me behind you the entire time; that's something I've only ever seen fathers, brothers or lovers do." Her eyes flicked to his large hands, there was no ring and she didn't think he looked old enough for children.
"You one of those head nurses?" Bucky laughed and licked his lips before answering, "Yeah, I got little sisters back home. The older one, she's real pretty, and the fellas keep trying their luck… I hope she doesn't get in too much trouble while I'm here." There was such a fond look in his eyes that Y/N couldn't help but sigh whimsically, "And no wife." A flash of his left ring finger brought her attention back to him fully, what she knew already confirmed. He chose that moment to offer his hand, "I'm dying to dance with you, doll."
Her head was already shaking left and right, her eyes widened in a sort of alarm that made him grin further, "I… really am a terrible dancer. I'll step on your toes and lose all of my mystique." As an afterthought, she quickly tacked on, "I'm not your 'doll' either."
"Lucky for you, I'm a great dancer. And my boots can handle your dainty, little feet… ma'am." He was a devil in disguise, she was sure of it, and somehow that made taking his hand impossible to resist.
"That's worse," he knew that too by the way he smirked, "I'm not a 'ma'am' or a 'doll', I have a name, and maybe you could use it?" Bucky didn't reply as he tugged her gently toward him. The music wasn't too quick and there was a good beat; his hand rested on the small of her back as his other hand cradled hers, easing her into a few simple steps. "Not bad, Sergeant."
Bucky chuckled at her compliment, "You're not so bad yourself, d- Y/N." He turned them smoothly, and he wisely kept quiet when she tripped over her own feet; he thought the way she hid her face was sweet, "You're thinking too hard." He told her and she shrugged slightly rather than admit he was right. It was then that Bucky noticed the rip in her sleeve and a frown tugged on his perfect lips. It would need sewing up, and he felt terrible that she'd have to mend such a pretty dress because one of his men couldn't hold their drink, "If anyone gives you trouble again, you let me know and I'll take care of it. I'm gonna twirl you – there we go!" Bucky watched Y/N's skirt flare out as he turned her and he caught her smiling as she started to enjoy herself. "That's a good look on you, doll."
They met twice a week at the dance hall, Bucky was the only man she would dance with, and though he flitted from girl to girl like a bee to flowers, he always ended up with her. They didn't have much in common but they always found easy conversation. It wasn't long before some of the soldiers started referring to her as 'Bucky's girl'; she denied it when her friends asked her, and of course, the nurses all laughed at her dismissals. The barracks were always noisy on dance nights. Curlers, hair spray, dresses and excited yells made it busier than any dance hall. Y/N would hide her smile when they started talking about her 'American Sweetheart', and she would very quickly change the subject. Thankfully, her friend and a soldier she had been caught kissing in the hall the night before.
It became a thing that the one o seventh would make a loud fuss when Y/N and Bucky would greet each other; bets were already made on how long it would be until they were official. He'd tell them to knock it off and roll his eyes, nodding his head toward the bar so she would follow him without question. They would flirt. Everyone could see it, but no one ever noticed how they looked at each other or the subtle touches when they danced. Neither one of them were strangers to the opposite sex. After two months of hints and silent suggestion, Y/N took his hand and guided him out of the dance hall toward the barn doors of the neighbouring farm. She leaned up and was finally able to press her lips to his – she hadn't been able to stop her fascination with his mouth since the day she met him.
Bucky pulled her close, sealing his mouth over hers, devouring her moan as he deepened the kiss, tilting his head and dominating the kiss like it was his sole purpose in life. She didn't simply let him take over, giving as good as she got and moving his hands from her waist to her hips as an invitation. His warm hands slipped under Y/N's uniform blouse, marvelling at the bare skin beneath his fingers. Bucky's thumbs caressed along her ribs and traced the edge of her bra before he pulled away, a smile playing on his lips when hers tried to follow - not wanting to stop kissing him. "Not out here, doll."
He took her hand, and together, they snuck into the barn. The Soldier helped her onto the ladder that led to the upper floor, bundles of fresh hay providing a safe hiding place for them to explore one another. Y/N's nimble fingers unbuttoned his shirt with practised ease, sliding it down his shoulders as she straddled him. Her palms pressed to his naked chest with splayed fingers as she stroked down his body teasingly. Then she was undoing his belt, whining a little when he captured her mouth and blocked her view of his body. Bucky undressed her whilst he busied his lips and tongue with hers, fingers stumbling at the fastening of her bra. Still, persevering, he managed to remove the garment, manoeuvring them so that she was laid out atop his jacket, protected from the prickly hay. Once more, she fought him to keep the kiss going rather than take a breath. Bucky wanted to admire her though. His breath hitched at the sight of her; it was one of those clichéd nights where the sky was clear and the moon bright enough to cast its light in through the windows and gaps in the barn's old roof.
Every curve, and dip, and groove of her body was bared to his hungry blue eyes. Bucky dropped his head down to slowly worship her body with his mouth, groaning into her skin when her hands wound into his hair. Suspenders were unsnapped from her stockings, and Bucky slid her underwear down over her hips. His hands left a hot trail down along her thighs and further down her calves as he pulled them free of her, catching her foot in his right hand; the Soldier pressed a kiss to the inside of her ankle. He felt her tug her foot a little in his grip and looked up in time to see her cover her face, "Hey, you don't gotta hide, pretty girl." His smile was reassuring when she braved a glimpse in his direction. "We can stop anytime you want. I'm not gonna get mad, I swear."
"It's not that." She wanted this so much, almost too much. "I'm not used to a guy taking his time like this. Or paying so much attention to me. It's embarrassing." Y/N had never been looked at like this, never had a partner who seemed to cherish her as much as Bucky was right at that moment, and she couldn't think of a time she ever felt so exposed.
Bucky placed her knees on either side of his hips and leaned over her. Keeping his weight on his forearms so that he could nuzzle into her neck, sighing softly into her perfumed skin. "You got nothing to be embarrassed about - not a damn thing. If we had more time, I'd show you what I can do with my mouth." He felt her shiver and brought his head up so that he could look her in the eye, a slow grin spreading on his face and his eyes darkened with mischievous lust. "Yeah, I caught you staring. I bet you know every little detail of my lips, and I bet you thought about more than me kissing you with them." Bucky could practically see the heat rising out of her, and it was all because of the sinful words he breathed into her flesh. He had no problem with gazing into her eyes, boring into her very being with his mesmerising blues. "You wanna be my girl until this stupid war is over?"
Her hands cupped his face, tracing his cheekbones and nodding slightly, "I think I'd like that..." His boyish grin was the last thing she saw before he was kissing her breathless with an addictive passion that she was determined to match. Bucky's hand found its way to the base of Y/N's spine and lifted her hips just so, and with a deep groan, he sheathed himself inside. She was ready for him and Bucky nearly choked as her thighs squeezed against his hips. He didn't need to murmur sweet encouragement to her; he didn't need to praise how tight her heat was as her body hugged him so perfectly, and it was one of the few times he was utterly tongue-tied.
Bucky rolled his hips, and Y/N mewled into his mouth; she moved with him as if they'd done this a thousand times before. They found an easy rhythm; hands grabbed and stroked and caressed wherever they could, again and again. Her hands carded through his hair, tugging at the brunette locks as if it were the only thing keeping her grounded. Whenever she pulled a little too hard, his thrusts would become a little harder, a little deeper. "God, doll," Bucky groaned. "So wet, so fucking wet for me - can't wait to get my tongue inside you. Gonna eat you up until you got nothing left for me." Bucky had slowed, grinding against her just right to make her whole body arch and tense, her mouth forming a sweet little 'o' as all sound became trapped in her chest. He grinned breathlessly, huffing out a small laugh before pressing his forehead to hers. "Lemme hear you, Y/N. Wanna hear my name outta your mouth so bad." Bucky hissed as her nails bit into his back, the fine sheen of sweat burning the marks and making his growl. He yanked her closer, driving into her slick heat desperately, her name becoming a mantra on his tongue – neither of them caring who heard it.
Y/N moaned, her body trembling so much that his grip became bruising - marks she would cherish in the morning. "B-Buc - Oh! Please... please, I'm... Bucky, I -!"
"Look at me." Obediently she found his eyes, her walls clenching around his cock as she did. "You're so fucking pretty. You feel amazing, doll." His tongue slid over his bottom before his teeth caught it; his gaze was so feral and raw that Y/N's felt her body clench. Her head fell back against the hay as she came undone for him - because of him. The brunette held her tight to himself. Smothering her yell with a hard kiss, he began to fuck her almost too harshly; his vision began to blur, and Bucky tore his mouth from hers in favour of crying out her name. Bucky caught himself before he could crush the nurse under him, falling to her right with a satisfied grin, both of them panting as if they had run a marathon.
They dressed quietly once they had cooled down, smiling at each other every time their eyes met and then helping the other neaten up their uniforms. Bucky held her hand all the way back to the dance hall, stealing kisses along the way and making sure she would get safely back to her barracks before heading to his own.
They were both deployed a week later. Bucky heading to the front lines whilst Y/N went to the field hospital.
Every time a soldier was brought in injured, Y/N silently prayed it wasn't him. The boys she took care of – and some of them were just boys, barely grown men – broke her heart. She watched them break both physically and mentally, missing limbs, and memories of their friends dying in front of them made for haunting nightmares. Screams and groans filled her ears day and nights.  
Y/N lost count of the dog tags she had had to collect from those that didn't make it.
By the time they were called back to England, the nurses felt as raw and as tired as the Soldiers; the glamour of helping their boys was sullied by blood, and no one wanted to go dancing at first. When Y/N finally plucked up the will to leave the dreary dorm she shared with her friends, she was surprised to find a familiar face. A brunette soldier halfway up the chainlink fence into the nurses' barracks. "…Bucky?"
His head jerked toward her, alarmed that he might have been caught trying to sneak in, but then he smiled big and bright. His eyes weren't as bright; no doubt he had seen the same horrors she had, but his smile was still boyish and his enthusiasm no less than before. Y/N watched him climb the rest of the way, wincing and looking around each time the fence let out a loud clatter, "Bucky, stop! You'll be arrested!" He jumped down from the fence and caught her in his arms, hugging her close and burying his nose into her hair – he'd missed her so much. "You're an idiot..." she admonished him fondly, her arms just as tight around him.
"You and your friends haven't left here in days. Me and the fellas were worried." He held her at arm's length, checking her over for any injuries; though nurses weren't in the fighting, they were still at risk. Every time he saw planes overhead or heard shelling in the distance - his heart throbbed painfully. He prayed she was safe, that she wasn't in danger. Bucky had worried that she might get hurt by a patient who had gone mad in all the violence. Seeing that she was okay, he pulled her to his chest again and let out a deep breath he hadn't known he was holding. "You gotta get out of here, doll. Thinking about what's happened won't help anyone... Hey?" Bucky looked down as Y/N hid her face into his shirt; she wound her arms around his middle and began to cry for the first time since she'd been deployed. "I'm here... I got you, Y/N, I'm not leaving you." Bucky held her tight and let her cry it all out.
It took a while for everything to fall back into place like it had been before. The American soldiers and the English soldiers still had disagreements; there were still fights, but there was a camaraderie there hadn't existed before deployments. The briefly, quiet and dreary nurses barracks came alive again as they would get ready and tease one another. "Y/N, do you think you and Bucky will go steady soon?"
"He broke into the barracks for her; they must already be steady - I wanna know when Susie is going to kiss that cute private!" Laughter lit up the room, and Y/N grinned as they made plans to set their friend up.
Bucky wasted no time grabbing his girl and pulling her in to dance, incredulous as Y/N tripped over her own feet and stepped on his toes. They snuck away from the crowded dancehall, like naughty children, to the barn – finding it padlocked. Y/N smacked his arm as he guffawed at the sight of it; the mystery of whether the farmer knew or not solved. Bucky picked Y/N up and carried her over a stone wall. His eyes searching for a suitable place to ravish her, both of them giggling when he got his boot stuck in a hole. They ended up in the middle of the field, laughing and checking they weren't going to be caught before Bucky made love to her in the tall grass.
The stroll back to her barracks was interrupted by his kisses, his body pressing hers against walls or trees. "This is me..."
"I guess it is." Bucky pilled Y/N into the shadows of the trees, the guarded gate within sight, "Y/N?"
His voice was quiet, still deep and pleasant to her ears, but it sounded so much softer than she could remember. "What is it?"
Bucky's fingers brushed along her cheeks, his lips pressing featherlight to hers before pulling back and licking his lips nervously. "I was just thinking... I was thinking that maybe you'd wanna marry me?"  
"I think I'd like that."
He kissed her until their lips were almost sore, and the light of a torch hit them. The guard grumbling at them and telling Y/N it was nearly curfew. She giggled at Bucky's lazy salute and blew him a kiss; he caught it and pressed it to his heart.
The warning sirens had been too late sounding when planes flew overhead, dropping shells from the sky with little accuracy – the explosions were scattered over the countryside. Flashing like lightning and making the ground tremble as they hit indiscriminately.
The nurses' barracks just collateral damage.
The only consolation was that they had been sleeping when the bombs hit, and Bucky hoped - he prayed - that they hadn't known. That they hadn't been frightened or suffered. Stretchers with bodies covered up in white linen were lined up along the road. He'd found Y/N and knelt beside her quietly, holding her cold hand that had slipped from the stretcher and rubbing the dirt from the gold band around her finger.
Tears fell silently down his cheeks, and guilt gnawed at his already aching chest, angry at himself that he hadn't been there to protect her and sad that he hadn't had longer to spend with her. Bucky pressed a lingering kiss to the back of Y/N's hand before tenderly placing it under the white sheet and standing up. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve, and stiffly, he began to walk away, his jaw clenched as frustrated anger began to fester inside his chest to dull the hurt. A fire was growing inside him that he hadn't had before, and he silently swore that if he had to walk to Germany to end this damn war, he'd do it.
Bucky stopped. He turned on his heel and stood at attention, saluting his girl with the silent promise to win this war for her.
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stargirl25 · 24 days ago
It was raining outside. You both were inside, in the little apartment you both owned off of first street. A siren sounds outside, but you and Bucky ignore it.
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On the vinyl, a soft song plays. He holds you close, lips brushing against your hair and temple as he mumbles the words and sways you gently.
"I'll come back" he says. "You'll see me soon doll"
Two months later you lie on the floor of your apartment. The moon, stars and streetlights outside are the only light your apartment gets.
It filters in gently, almost as if sensing your mood. The apartment was cold, almost empty with out him. His smile. His laughter.
You reach a hand up towards the ceiling. He would be back soon. He always kept his word.
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Your ears rang. Steve was still talking but you couldn't hear. You didn't want to.
Outside, a siren rings again. "Too late!" you think, "the damage is done!"
Bucky had fallen. He was lost! You'd never see his smile or feel his warm hand on yours again. You should never have let him go to the war. You should've held him tighter, never let him go.
In his pocket, Steve pulls out a little black box. Your throat tightens as he hands it to you with whispered apologies.
Your heart breaks for a life you will never get to have. In your hand, a black box with a ring stands proudly as if taunting you.
A familiar song is heard on the radio from the kitchen. You drop to your knees as you grieve for a person you will never see again.
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Its been sixty years...
You lie in bed, your old bones achey from a life well lived. The door opens, and you glance expecting to see another nurse. Instead, those gorgeous eyes you never thought you'd see again enter.
Your breath hitches. Was this a terrible hallucination? Was the end that close for you?
He takes your hand. He hadn't aged a single day. That smile is in his eyes.
"Is it really you?" You ask.
His fingers strokes the ring he never got to place onto your correct finger as a small smile graces his lips.
"Yes" he says. "I came back for you"
"Oh" you smile, squeezing his hand as tightly as you can. "I think I'm ready to go now. Thank you, Bucky"
"No problem, Doll" he says, brushing your hair back and kissing your temple. "I'll see you when you wake up"
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This one shot was written for me by a friend. It was so sweet that I wanted to share it here for you. She based it after I mentioned this song gave me 40s Bucky Barnes vibes:
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wnterwidows · 28 days ago
Outlaws — Masterlist
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Summary: When Bucky returns from the war in 1945, he expects to finally give you the life he had always wanted to. Instead, the government doesn’t give any soldiers like Bucky the financial support they needed when they returned home. Disenchanted by his country and determined to give you the life you deserve Bucky makes a decision — if the government wasn’t going to give him the money he deserved, he’d take it from the banks himself.
Note: this is a Bonnie and Clyde AU, inspired by the historical events that occurred.
Disclaimer: This is by no means a romanticization of the historical events nor is this series historically accurate. I was inspired by the story of Bonnie and Clyde but don’t romanticize their actions whatsoever. Also, this won’t follow canon seeing as it’s an AU!
Warnings: angst themes, mentions of war, crime, violence, bank robberies, etc.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Series Taglist Form
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mads-weasley · a month ago
Love & War
Pt. 3: Moonlight
40s!Bucky Barnes x Medic!Reader
Series Masterlist
A/N: These are so much fun to write! I’m such a sucker for 40s Bucky so I love this as much as y’all do! Sadly, I do not own any of these amazing characters other than (y/n). Enjoy!
Summary: The day after (y/n) joins the team, they are given a mission integral to the Allied victory, giving her the opportunity to become closer to the other Commandos.
Warnings: mentions of blood, angst, war, typical cannon violence, some fluff
A/N #2: When Bucky says “Cher,” it’s pronounced like the beginning of Cherry!!
(y/n) - your name
(y/l/n) - your last name
(y/n/n) - your nickname
(y/h /c) - your hair color
(y/e/c) - your eye color
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“Everyone wake up, we’ve got a mission.”
Steve’s deep voice wakes (y/n) up almost instantly. Slowly rising, she yawns and starts to quickly get ready for the day. The other Commandos are starting to do so as well. It’s 6:30 in the morning and they went to sleep well past 12 the night before.
“We leave at 0800.” Colones Phillips struts in the room, while everyone else drop what they’re doing and salutes. “At ease, soldiers.”
“Colonel, I thought this was just a routine mission, so with all due respect, sir, why are you here?” Philips ushered Steve into a neighboring room to get some privacy. Soon, everyone else went back to packing.
(Y/n) could easily tell Rogers was the leader of the squad. His natural courage and good heart made him perfect for the role of Captain America. (Y/n) thought that he was the type of man her friend, Allie, would like; tall, blond, strong, polite. Normally, she would think the same thing about herself, but it was a certain brunet who couldn’t evade their thoughts, no matter how hard she tried.
She didn’t know this, but Bucky kept stealing glances of (y/n) when she was gathering her things. Most of the girls he had went out with in the past would just melt right into his hands. (Y/n), though, is different. She’s independent and wasn’t going to give in as easily as the other girls, and he liked that.
As he was looking at her, he couldn’t help but admire her natural beauty; her wavy (y/h/c) hair, delicate skin, and her eyes......whew, they sure had him entranced from the first moment he looked at em’. Her (y/e/c) irises were like stars he wanted to explore and oceans he would love to drown in. She began putting on some bright red lipstick and Bucky found himself biting his lip unconsciously.
Laughing, Dum Dum caught him staring with a small smile, “I thought you had renounced your old ways, Bucky? She hasn’t even been here a day and you’re already in trouble.”
The younger man just laughs and nods slightly, still looking at (y/n). “Yeah, I’m in trouble.”
*at mission briefing: 7:30 am”
“This is a highly classified mission. It can’t leave this room.” Everyone nods in agreement before Cap continues. “Were going to have to make our way through enemy lines to Trouy, a small town outside of Bourges, which we are having trouble reaching. Colonel Philips believes that if we take the town quietly, we can make the way to Bourges easier for the rest of the Allied troops. Stealth is key on this one, guys. Also, it’s going to take a few hours to walk there through the wilderness, so Dugan, you might want to bring a snack.” Cap chuckles before continuing, “We leave in 20 minutes. Dismissed.”
(Y/n) was excited and nervous to go on her first mission. She’d heard stories of the dangerous missions the Commandos took part in, but instead of scaring her, it thrilled her. Thankfully, she had attended basic training, so she knew how to use a gun and defend herself. She didn’t realize everyone else was up and about until a voice broke her from her thoughts.
“Nervous, Cherry?”
Her eyes snap to his; those baby browns she’d been lost in the night before. “Cherry? Where’d you get that from?”
Licking his lips, a smirk appeared on his face.“Well, your lipstick is bright red, like a cherry.”
“How observant you are, James.” The comment dripped in sarcasm as she looked up at him.
“Just doing what I do best, doll.” His brows furrow slightly. “Really though, are you nervous?”
“I’m nervous and excited if that makes sense. I’m not excited for people to die or anything like that, I’m just excited to feel important; like I’m a first pick for once.”
The slightly hurt look behind her eyes tells him there’s a story behind the comment, but he doesn’t push it. Nodding his head, he agrees. “I actually know exactly what you mean. You’re gonna do great, (y/n). Dugan told us how good you are in the field.....repeatedly.”
Finishing his sentence, he ran his hand through his hair before smiling and walking away. This made (y/n) heart start racing and she shifted her weight from foot to foot with a grin plastered on her face. After a few moments, Steve approaches her with some clothes in his hands.
“Here. Since you’re a part of the squad, you have to have a uniform that looks somewhat like ours. The only major difference is that you have the medic patch on your arm.”
With a nod from her, he hands (y/n) the clothes. (Peggy’s uniform, and sorry it’s the only full body pic I could find!) Once she gets changed into her new outfit, the group meets at the camp’s makeshift garage. They load a truck to try and get as close as they could to the line of demarcation that separates Nazi occupied France and liberated France.
The ride to the line wasn’t long, but it was bumpy. When they arrived, it was nightfall, so they could sneak in under the cover of darkness. The young North Carolinian had her medic bag on her back along with a Colt 1911 in her thigh holster as a last resort. Rogers had told them earlier that the truck wasn’t going to stop because it might raise suspicion. Due to this, they had to jump from the moving truck and make their way through the woods to the town.
Steve motioned it was time to jump and one by one, each of them bounded out the back and ran into the woods. Once everyone was there, they started quietly making their way to Trouy. Although she told Bucky that she wasn’t really nervous, her hands were slightly shaking in result of being in German territory in almost complete darkness. Looking ahead of her, she saw something that instantly calmed her down; James. He was looking up at the moon through a break in the foliage above them. A single ray of moonlight illuminated his face, showing off his razor sharp jawline and the awestruck smile that painted his face.
(Y/n) couldn’t help but smile and stare at the sweet, boy-like action. To her dismay, this didn’t go unnoticed by Dum Dum.
“Like what you see?” He asks quietly, walking beside her.
Gasping softly, she quickly averts her gaze. “ I wasn’t...uh...looking at him. There was something....something behind him I was looking at.”
He chuckles at her embarrassed stutter. “Sure, sweetheart.”
Dugan could already see what was happening. Bucky and (y/n) were looking at each other the same way, but he promised himself he wouldn’t intervene. For once, he was gonna let it play out naturally. Steve had Peggy, unofficially of course, so it was only right for Bucky to have someone too. Dum Dum’s only fear was that they would soon become each other’s weakness; and weakness can be catastrophic during wartime.
Once the squad had been walking for about 3 hours, they heard the rumble of an engine and voices from the road merely feet from the tree-line. After a few seconds, (y/n)’s eyes widened when she realized who the voices belonged to; the Nazis. She knew when she enlisted that she’d come in contact with them, but seeing them up close was different; it was terrifying.
The Commandos quickly ducked and drew their weapons, and (y/n) soon followed suit. Everyone froze in place as the fear of being discovered increased by the second. From her crouched position, she could see the men on the road picking up crates and placing them on the truck. Once the pile of boxes dwindled to nothing, they got in the truck and drove away. The group started to slowly move again.
Sighing, (y/n) looks over to Bucky with raised eyebrows. The young man mirrors her actions and walks over to her. “Was that your first time seeing a Nazi?”
“What makes you say that?” Her shoulders lift into a small shrug.
“Oh, I don’t know, Cherry. Maybe it’s the way you look like someone just killed your cat.”
She scoffs, walking away from the soldier. Naturally, he follows after her, walking to her right. “Listen, doll, that wasn’t me trying to be insensitive or pigheaded. I just...I’m nervous, and when I’m nervous, I say dumb stuff like that.”
“Why are you nervous, Barnes? Haven’t you done this a million times?”
His smile fades as he looks in the direction they are walking. “I uh.. I was ca-“
Bucky was cut off by Cap’s hushed, deep voice. “We’re here. Okay, Gabe, Jacques, and Jim; you go to the communications building and disable their transponders. Falsworth, Dugan, (y/l/n), and I, will be taking the town one building at a time. Hopefully, at least. Buck, you know what to do. All right, let’s move out.”
The first thing that (y/n) thought was ‘What does he mean James knows what to do?’ While the men were doing one last checklist of what they needed, she walks over to Bucky. “Hey. What did Steve mean when he said ‘You know what to do’?”
“Don’t worry, Cher. I’m a sniper.”
She lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Oh. Okay. careful, James.”
“Yes ma’am. You too.”
Turning to walk away, she smirks, “I will be, and if I’m not, you’ve got me right?”
With that, he was off to find a good vantage point in the hills of the small town, leaving (y/n) with her thoughts about the upcoming battle.
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bitchin-beskar · a month ago
I Don’t Think This is Kansas
Captain America: The First Avenger, The P.O.W., and The Time Traveler - Chapter I
Fic Rating: M
Chapter Rating: M (just to be safe)
Warnings: Light mentions of torture (non-graphic)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (no use of y/n)
Word Count: 2k
A/N: And here we gooooooo! The first chapter of what is going to be a long, multi-fic series, featuring Bucky Barnes x Reader! This chapter isn’t super long, it’s mostly just setting the scene, but I still hope y’all enjoy it! Quite side note, I realize the dates/timeline that I use may not be exactly canon, but I’m gonna stick as close as possible. I may have to tweak certain things for plot reasons, but for the most part I’ll be sticking to the same timeline as the canon franchise, although obviously the story is going to be very AU. Please let me know what y’all think, I’m really nervous about this fic, but I’m also extremely excited!!
Please consider reblogging and leaving a comment! I’d love to know what you think!
Date: February 9th, 2008 Location: Malibu, California
The sound of Back In Black by ACDC playing from your cell for the fourth time in the last half hour finally made you put your pen down, and pick up the call. 
“This better be good, Tony.”
An affronted gasp came from the other end of the line, although you could barely hear it over the extremely loud rock music playing in the background. 
“I am... offended that you think I’d call you with anything other than life or death matters.”
“Right, so that time that you called me at three in the morning to ask where you’d left your socket wrench was a matter of life or death?”
“Details, details. Why didn’t you answer me the first three times I called you?”
Rolling your eyes at the petulant tone in his voice, you switched the phone to your non-dominant hand and picked up your pen again. “Because, Anthony, some of us actually have jobs to do and bills to pay.” 
“I told you, bunny rabbit, your life would be so much easier if you just moved into my place and let my millions take care of any expenses. Don’t you miss seeing me all the time?”
“Don’t whine, Tony,” you muttered fondly. It was an argument the two of you’d been having since your days in MIT together. “Maybe I like a little independence every now and then. And I certainly don’t miss the ragers you threw every other day back in college, I don’t need that kind of excitement now that I’m an adult. Unlike you.”
Tony sputtered on the other end, and you smirked in satisfaction. He was so easy to rile up, and you took great pleasure in pushing his buttons. The two of you had met at MIT, and your relationship had quickly transitioned from classmates to friends to something akin to siblings. You were one of the few women on campus–maybe the only woman on campus–who wasn’t interested in sleeping with him, and once Tony got over the blow to his ego, he’d become your best friend.
“Seriously though, Tony. Is there a reason you’re bugging me at,” you glance at your watch. “Three-thirty on a friday afternoon?”
“Yes, actually,” he says, and you can finally hear his voice properly without it being drowned out by Led Zeppelin as he turns down his music. “I want you to come over this weekend. We’ve got a cake to bake and alcohol to drink.” 
Your brow furrowed as you tried to figure out what the hell he was talking about. “Tony, why on Earth do we have to bake a cake this weekend? I’ve got about twenty different deadlines this next week, I don’t really have the time–”
“Ah-ah-ah!” Tony waited for you to stop talking before he continued. “We do this little dance every year, bunny. No matter how much you protest, I refuse to let you ignore the passage of time. We are celebrating your birthday this weekend, and that’s final.”
Eyes widening, you drop your pen, swiveling in your chair to glance at your calendar. “Wait, that’s this weekend?” You see the date marked with a little red X on your calendar and you frown. “Hold up, no, my birthday’s on a Tuesday this year, what–”
“Yes yes, I am aware, however I will be in Afghanistan doing a demo of the Jericho missile on your actual birthday, so we’re celebrating early. So, get your cute little butt over to my house after work today. Pepper’s getting the stuff from the store, so we can go wild.” 
You were silent for a moment. “I really don’t like that missile, Tones.” The clanking of metal suddenly ceased in the background of the call, and you knew Tony had put down his tools. “I- I know that SI develops weapons, and I know you’re upholding your dad’s legacy, but Tony? There’s so much you could be doing with your life, is making weapons really what you want?”
This wasn’t a new conversation for either of you, but you really didn’t want to let it go. “I know that’s what Obadiah wants, but what do you want? What does Tony Stark want? You’re a good man, Tony, with or without your dad’s legacy.”
“As you constantly remind me.” As he spoke, you could hear the smile in his voice.
You couldn’t help but smile too. “I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise, you know that.”
The two of you sat in silence for a moment, before Tony groaned loudly. “Mushy stuff aside, you are coming over tonight, right?”
You sighed, leaning back in your chair. “I’m not getting out of this, am I?” 
“Alright, fine. But only if you tell Pepper and Happy to come too. Lord knows they have the patience of saints if they put up with you on a daily basis. They could probably use the break.”
You could practically picture Tony’s cheerful expression. “Sure! See you later, bunny!”
Rolling your eyes, you hung up the phone and turned back to your work. You’d be a bit behind if you went to Tony’s tonight, but as long as you saved Sunday for work, you’d get everything done in time. Truly, you did miss your best friend, and it’d be nice to get to see him just being himself, if only for a couple hours. You’d made it no secret you hated the “Tony Stark” persona he put on for the world, it was always nice when he shed that part of himself and just became Tony, your best friend from college.
Glancing at the clock, you figured you’d be able to get in a few more hours of work before heading over to Tony’s place. Then, you’d be able to let loose and relax for the weekend, something you sorely needed.
Pulling into the drive, you looked up at the insane mansion that Tony called home. It was the very definition of opulence, custom-built to Tony’s exact specifications. A far cry from your little studio apartment, but honestly, you preferred your tiny little one-room place. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t appreciate the absolute marvel of architecture that was Tony’s mansion.
Walking up to the front door, you turned the handle, grinning when it turned in your grasp. As you entered the foyer, a soothing, British voice came from hidden speakers in the ceiling. “Welcome back, Miss.”
A fond smile spread across your lips. “Hello to you too, Jarvis. Is it too much to ask for you to call me by my name? How many times do I have to tell you, you don’t need to be so formal?” 
“Well, if you’d prefer, I have an acceptable list of nicknames programmed into my database from Mr. Stark that I could use, starting with–”
“No! No, that’s fine, Jarvis. I’d rather formality over any odd nicknames Tony’s come up with over the years.”
“A wise choice, Miss.”
Setting your coat and purse down on the couch, you looked around the seemingly empty house. “Speaking of, where is Tony?”
“Sir is currently in the garage, working on the ‘67 Shelby Cobra. Shall I alert him of your arrival?”
“Nah, don’t bother, I’ll just head down. Thanks, J!”
“A pleasure, Miss.”
Heading for the stairs, you began to descend the multiple levels, towards the basement where Tony kept his cars, along with all of the tools and scrap he used for tinkering. Suddenly, a sharp pain lanced through your stomach, causing you to stumble, catching yourself on the wall.
“What the–” you muttered, panting as you tried to catch your breath. As the pain ebbed, you started to straighten back up, only to double over again as an even stronger wave crashed over you, causing you to cry out.
It felt like someone was trying to claw you open from the inside, and you fell to your knees, nails scratching uselessly at the marble floor as you tried to ground yourself through the pain. Faintly, you could hear Jarvis calling you, asking if he should alert Tony, or call 911, but you couldn’t get your voice to work, other than weak whimpers and cries.
As you tried to reach up to grab the handrail, you cried out in shock as your hand passed right through the wood of the railing, causing you to collapse back onto the ground. “H-Help–” you gasped, staring in horror at your limbs as they became more and more see-through. “Tony, help m–”
Your voice cut off as you faded out, your figure disappearing mere seconds before Tony dashed up the stairs, frantically calling your name. But there was no use. You were gone.
Date: Unknown Location: Unknown
The first sense to return to you was smell. All of a sudden, you were assaulted by a damp, musty scent, not unlike that of a cellar, or one of the old English castles you and Tony had visited on the spring break vacation you’d taken to Europe. The next sense was hearing, as the steady drip drip drip of water assaulted your ears, the droplets sounding as though they were landing on stone, or concrete. 
With a herculean effort, you opened your eyes, wincing at the bright light that shone directly in your face. It took you a few moments to orient yourself, but as you did, you came to a horrifying realization. You were lying on a table, your arms and legs strapped down, and what felt like a leather band laid across your forehead, keeping your head in place. 
You began to slowly tug on your restraints, your efforts to escape growing more frantic as you heard slow footsteps begin to approach your side, the tap tap tapping of soles on concrete sending sharp spikes of fear coursing through your body. 
Gradually, a face swam into view above you, a face that looked vaguely familiar. The man had a small, rounded face, with receding reddish-blond hair neatly combed over his scalp. He had round glasses on, and wore a deep red bowtie. He didn’t look scary, but something in his eyes made you freeze in terror, even as he smiled down at you.
“Ah, you are awake! Excellent.”
You tried to speak, but your tongue felt heavy in your mouth, and you couldn’t get your vocal cords to work. The man seemed to pay this no mind, however. 
“Now that you are awake, I am afraid I have a few questions for you, my dear,” the man simpered, reaching out one pudgy hand to brush some hair out of your face, even as you tried–and failed–to flinch away. “Answer them honestly, and perhaps we will let you go.” 
He took your silence as acceptance. 
“Now. How did you find our base?”
He waited patiently as you swallowed roughly, trying desperately to lubricate your throat, even though your mouth was painfully dry. “P–Please,” you begged, unable to speak louder than a whisper. “I–I don’t know where I am. P–Please let me go.”
Tutting disappointedly, the man turned away for a moment. When he came back into your field of vision, to your horror, he was holding what looked to be some kind of torture instrument, with electricity arcing off the end. 
“I was afraid of that,” he muttered, looking down at you with a mixture of pity and disgust. “Well, if you will not answer my questions willingly, perhaps a little persuasion will do.” He lowered the device, pressing it lightly against your bare side.
A scream tore from your throat as your back arched, trying to get away from the electricity. The man held the device there for a few seconds, before pulling it away. 
You gasped for air, whole body shuddering from the volts of electricity that had danced across your skin. “I–I don’t know where I am!” You sobbed, pulling in vain on the leather bindings that held you in place. “Please, I don’t kno–AHHHHHH!” Another touch from the device had you screaming once again. 
“Well, if you truly do not know where you are, allow me to enlighten you. My name is Doctor Zola. Welcome, my dear, to Hydra.”
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Story Tags: @razor-crest-toothpaste, @ladylothlorien, @dinohaze, @xxlovingfandomsxx, @bendro-pascarnes 
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heyquxxns · a month ago
Say You’ll Remember Me - Chapter Nine
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Summary: They were like Ares and Aphrodite, love and war.
Words: 5.9K
TW:  Cute moments and smut towards the bottom ( Minors I will mark the start of it  with ** so you can skip )
A/N: Once I finish the TFAWS part of this series, I will be moving onto the comet section! So please tell me what soft, sweet moments you will like to see! Also, I’ll be taking questions for a Q&A so please send all question to my ask box! I also have a taglist  this series so if you want to be added, DM or send me an ask!
Neither the Nurse nor the Sergeant slept for long, perhaps five hours tops. A few hours short of the recommended amount needed for adults their biological age. His nightmares prevented him from getting a long night’s sleep while she was so used to waking up at odd hours for work. But Bucky had woken up before her, silently making his way to the kitchen, and he was thankful for the vintage radio she had. Although it was also Bluetooth, the super-soldier could quickly figure out how to connect with the radio. And at this hour, most of the stations were playing songs from back in their day. Tangerine by Jimmy Dorsey and His Orchestra softly plays as he begins to cook, just like how his mother taught him.
It’s only when he looks through her refrigerator that he realizes that it had only been a few days since everything had happened. That it had only been a week since Y/N had told him about the comet, telling him about its everlasting effect on her. John Walker had only been Captain America for a few days before publicly executing someone, tarnishing Steve’s legacy. A sigh escapes his lips as he takes out the ingredients for pancakes, the first part of the breakfast plan. However, he pauses to feed the newfoundland as the giant dog walks over with his bowl in his mouth.
HE CAN SEE WHY Y/N NAMED THE DOG AFTER HIM Both had steel-blue eyes, and the K9’s fur matched his hair color. All the dog needed was Bucky’s hold hat, and he would be transformed into a furry version of the Sergeant.
The Nurse strolls into the kitchen almost thirty minutes later, Bucky softly pushing a hot mug of coffee into her hands. He only hopes it tastes as good as hers but wouldn’t be surprised if it tasted like absolute shit.
Bucky took his black.
Y/N liked to add a shit ton of things depending on her mood. He doesn’t bat an eye as she goes for the coffee creamer after one sit, chuckling softly at the disgusted look on her face. The Sergeant makes a mental note: She hated black coffee. But neither of them says anything, even as he places a large stack of pancakes in front of her. He didn’t stop there, though. A plate full of hash browns and bacon is also placed in front of her.  Her stomach growls, the body just now realizing how starving it is.
The super soldier watches her eat, leaning against the kitchen counter as she shoves a stack of pancakes into her mouth. The more silence falls between them, the more worried Bucky becomes. Perhaps he was wrong to think that all she needed was a good night’s rest and a big breakfast. Obviously, it wasn’t going to take a day for her to realize that she wasn’t alone; going to take a lot more time and effort for her to be comfortable with someone always being there for her without expecting anything in return.
So, Bucky takes the seat across from her with his own fork and digs in. “What are you thinking, Doll?”.
Y/N shoves a mouthful of hashbrowns into her mouth, swallowing before finally speaking up. “Depends on how philosophical you want to get.”. The statement only makes him lean on the table a little more, eyes falling on her.  He didn’t need to say anything for her to know that he was all ears.
“Just thinking about the meaning of a legacy and how Walker’s actions tampered with Steve’s. How much the legacy of the shield would have changed had Sam accepted it; if he still accepts it after everything. How everyone who had known Steve has a different connection to it.”. Pancake is shoved into her mouth. “I know you probably have never seen the musical Hamilton, but there’s this line that always stuck with me. Well, a few lines. It’s a scene during the duel where time slows down right before Hamilton is shot by Burr, giving him enough time to think back on his ideals, beliefs, and most importantly, his life. Throughout the musical, he’s constantly questioning his legacy, questioning what makes a legacy. It’s only in his final moments he realizes that a legacy is, and I quote, It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.”.
A brow is raised in her direction. “What does a musical about Alexander Hamilton have to do-.”
“Steve’s legacy is more than just the shield, Bucky. It’s you, me,’s everyone Steve’s life has impacted personally. At least, that’s my theory. That legacy of the shield is complicated to those who didn’t know the great Captain American personally. And we’re the only people left alive to have known Steve Rogers before the idea of Captain American came to be. Our friend was inherently good, never looking for any sort of power over anyone. He...he just wanted to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. He wanted to protect those he cared about. Especially you.”.
“Yeah, I get the whole wanting to help me adjust with everything Hydra has-.”
“No. No, Hon, I mean before you were assumed dead. Before the Howling Commandos. Steve picked up the shield for you. His first heroic act, saving the POWs being held in the Hydra base...that was for you. Steve become Captain America after that, receiving the vibranium shield we know because he went across enemy lines to save you, Bucky. I thought...I thought you knew that?”.
HE DIDN’T Bucky knew Steve wanted to save everyone being held there, not leaving a single man behind. However, he didn’t realize that the main reason his late friend did it in the first place was to save him.
He gulps, looking at the Nurse now as he had been staring at the plate for a while. “What about you? You said you had a connection to the shield.”.
The woman shrugs, poking at the food. “Sam told me to visit the Smithsonian when I got the chance. Not sure why though, I haven’t been in years. Also kind of fell out of love with science after the comet, years of not figuring out a scientific answer. Sure, I get excited over a few new discoveries from here and there.  ”. And then it clicked, and he can’t help but take her hands into his. Y/N raises a brow at him, obviously confused. “What?”.
“Y/N….Steve got you a place in the Smithsonian. He even got you your own section. They repainted the mural to include you and everything. In a few years, you’re supposed to be included in the textbooks. The punk told me all about it, how he made so many angry calls to multiple museums and scholars. Somehow found the time to do despite searching for me and the Avengers splitting up.”. Bucky watches as Y/E/C eyes slowly start to fill up with tears, moving so he was kneeling in front of her, and he could cup her face. “I gotta head to Louisiana, dropping off something to Sam. Come with me so I can show you, so you can see that you’re back in the narrative. That Steve made sure you were put back, just like how Eliza Hamilton told Alexander’s story. Fuck, we can turn this into a road trip and bring Sergeant. Just...just let me show you.”.
He managed to get a low chuckle from the Nurse as she nods her head. “O-okay, sure. We can take my car. And we c-could stop at the store and get snacks a-” Y/N voice trails off, seeing how Bucky was looking at her. She knows the look well as it makes her heart flutter. The Sergeant looked at her just as he did when they were young, just how the Winter Soldier used to look at her.
“Still doll dizzy after all these years?”.
“No. Just for you.”.
AND HE MEANT IT When the news broke out that Bucky Barnes had his eyes set out for Y/N Y/L/N longer than expected, some girls tried to sway his attention out of jealousy. They’d go to the diner and try to distract him from his mission often, batting their eyes and wearing their most amazing dresses. Some went as far as to sabotage the Nurse, only to fail as Bucky would see this as a chance to woo Y/N.  Some of the nurses out in the field hospitals or Allied camps would often flirt with him just for the Sergeant to turn around and ask if they knew his beloved.
In the end, though, after the war had ended, many of these same women left flowers on her doorstep. Surprisingly, Y/N even became friends with a few of them. Connie, the woman who Bucky had his eyes set on before meeting the Nurse, somehow became her best friend. She held her hand at Bucky’s funeral, watching as an empty coffin was buried six feet into the ground.
Years from now, the two friends will reunite, and Connie would tell her how proud she was. But until then, Y/N would miss the woman she called a friend.
The drive down to Washington was quite fun, the two making sure to stop to grab enough snacks for the four-to-sex hour drive. Sergeant had his head out the window of the jeep for the majority of the ride, ignoring as his owner belted out the lyrics to songs in hopes of getting the super soldier to enjoy them. Of course, she played a few songs from the 40s to make him happy, but otherwise, the playlist was all over the place.
Dog Days Are Over - Florence + Machine
Rasputin - Boney M ( He wasn’t going to admit it to her, though. But it was catchy)
No body, no crime - Taylor Swift
Anything by Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox
Livin’ On A Prayer - Bon Jovi
She had caught him bobbing his head to Postmodern Jukebox’s version of Love Yourself, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. A small smile forms on her lips, going to make a playlist for him to listen to later.
“After this all over, you should show me how good of a dancer you were.”.
“Depends: Are we talking actual dancing or that shit you made me do in Madripoor.” the corners of his lips tilt up as she giggles, stealing a quick glance at her before looking back at the road. “Call me an old geezer all you want, but the dances kids these days are coming up with are ridiculous.”.
“You sound like the guy from dirty dancing.”.
“....What?”He pulls up to the Smithsonian parking lot. Y/N mutters a “never mind” before hopping out of the car, going to let Sergeant out and put his vest on. Bucky mentally adds it to the list of things he needed to get into, hopping out as well.
AN UPDATE ON SERGEANT’S JOB DESCRIPTION Unlike the Nurse’s many dogs before, Sergeant was her first actual service dog as the paperwork had finally come in. Although she had always had PTSD and her emotional support animals did help with anxiety, her mental health had only worsened during the snap and the blip. The Nurse had been part of the population to have survived.
The day Sergeant got his certificate and all the paperwork had been signed, she had thrown him a small graduation ceremony. Bucky had seen the photos around the apartment. It was adorable. Today would be his first day since graduating.
The super soldier held her hand as they walked in, silently leading her to the Captain American exhibit. Standing outside the entrance to it, steel blue eyes land on her, and he soft squeezes her hand. “Are you ready?”.
He watches as she takes a deep breath, grip on Sergeant’s leash tightening just a little. “I’m ready.”. And with that, Y/N allows him to lead her inside. Immediately, the first thing she sees in the mural that they had repainted. It was quite an odd placement as there were eight members to fit onto the mural as they wanted the Captain to still be front and center. But after many awful drafts, they had decided that both Steve and Bucky would be in the center together. The order went as such:
Right Side, going back to front: Jacques Dernier, Jim Morita, Y/N Y/L/N, Bucky Barnes
Left Side, going front to back: Steve Rogers, Dum Dum Dugan, Gabe Jones, Montgomery Falsworth
Y/E/C colored eyes widen with shock seeing it, almost forgetting what she had looked like in the white ward dress and the dark blue cape. The same dress uniform that had on display with the others. It was obviously a decoy as Y/N still had it kept away neatly in a box. It sat with the letters from the men she had called her family brothers. They had stayed in touch for years until she faked her death. It isn’t until she sees the old photos of the Howling Commandos that tears threaten to spill down her cheeks, watching old black and white films of them altogether. There’s a short clip of Bucky hugging her from behind during an interview they all had to do, the young couple falling into a fit of giggles. She remembers that day well as it was a few days after he had proposed to her, the two still in the honeymoon phase or whatever it was called.  The Howlies had started to call her Mrs.Barnes by then. Had they known what was coming, they wouldn’t have.
Bucky’s eyes are on her the entire time they’re at the exhibit, watching as she takes in everything before they have to hit the road again. She only allowed herself an hour, more than enough time in her eyes. As the Sergeant and the Nurse make their way back to the car, she fills his hand shift a little. Then, fingers intertwined with hers as the hand is brought up for his lips to press against the back.
Y/N falls asleep for the next few hours until they reach their hotel.
WHEN ARE WE Los Angeles, 1999 Six years since the Nurse was last taken by Hydra
It had been all over the news that day, that the beloved and wealthy businessman under the name of Nikolai Sergeev had been found dead in his pool early that morning. The man had ties back to the Russian Mafia, using his booming business as a front for his real occupation: producing and distributing drugs. Although Nikolai had been accused of the crime before, he had been released from those various charges. No one really did anything until he started making friends with government officials, using this friendship to get the information he could use for his own gain somehow. That night, a few members of his crew were also found dead at a scene of a car accident. Because they had found drugs in the car, the police did not bother investigating further into it and assumed the driver was under the influence.
Y/N had known something was off earlier that day when it seemed a few cars had been following her to and from work. At the time, she had thought it was a coincidence as those said cars eventually made different turns, never to be seen for the rest of the day. However, her alarm doesn’t go off when she opens the door to her house, silently slipping off her shoes and setting her backpack down on the ground. However, she is not as terrified as she once was upon noticing the pair of boots on the shoe rack—black tactical boots. A sigh escapes her as she enters her kitchen, turning the overhead light above the stove on.
“It was nice of you to take off your shoes, Hon.”.
The Winter Soldier sits at the table, not saying a word. It was the first time Y/N saw him in all his gear, the mask reminding her too much of muzzle. He left his gun on the table, far away from him as if this was his way of assuring her that he wasn’t here to kill her. Though he did do a bad job at it, the Nurse could see all the throwing knives on him. His metal arm was a weapon in itself as well.  But she knew he wasn’t going to hurt her as she turned her back to him, taking out the food she had brought home from her job at the local bakery.
More silence...and then.
“You really should invest in a better security system. It was also a little too easy for Hydra to track you down.”. Steel-blue eyes are still on her as she walks over to the table with her dinner, a whole cinnamon apple pie in her hands. However, in her other hand are two forks. Y/N offers one to him.
“After the murder of that Nikolai guy, I figured it wouldn’t be long until I was dragged back to being Hydra’s nurse and possible lab rat. Also had a feeling they were going to send you as the car accident isn’t far from here. Drove past the scene on my way here. Glad my gut feeling was right, I wouldn't want to have to eat this entire pie by myself.”.  The asset hesitates for a moment before reaching up to slip the mask off, flesh hand reaching out for the fork. He wasn’t going to deny a baked good. And he had a feeling Y/N would have insisted until he agreed. Y/N did go through the trouble of bringing it back from him.
“Most people would have thought he messed with the Russia Mafia for too long, not thinking much of it afterwards.”. He shoves a forkful of the pie in his mouth and he can’t help but let out a moan, shoulders falling back as his eyes close.
“I wouldn’t have thought much of it if you hadn't killed him Great Gatsby style.”.
The Winter Soldier raises a brow at her and Y/N can’t help but frown. They probably wiped his mind clean again, meaning she would have to remind him again of who he once was.
“One of the books we used to talk about often was The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. One of the main characters, Jay Gatsby….he was shot and killed by the name Wilson due to him believing Jay Gatsby killed his wife. Gatsby was lying on an air mattress in the pool when he was shot. Wilson killed himself seconds after.”.
He stays silent for a moment before looking back down at the pie. “....Wasn’t it some lady named Daisy that killed his wife? And Gatsby took the blame.”. he did remember reading it.
“Well, he did it because he was in love with her. You do stupid things when you’re in love.”.
Steel-blue eyes land back on her and the asset can’t help but chuckle. “How was your day, Doll?”. Y/N knows he’s purposely trying to change the topic, but she doesn’t care all that much. He probably couldn’t tell her much about his mission anyway.
“A few guys started hitting on me today. A group of college students who think they can get whatever they want.”.  The asset’s jaw tightens a little, a wave of slight jealousy and protectiveness washing over him.
“They didn’t do anything...did they?”.
“No, thankfully. But if they did, what were you going to do? Kill them?”.
Although it was a joke, Y/N could see the Winter Soldier was considering it.
“Winter, please don’t go hunting down a group of kids.”.
“I wasn’t going to do it, Doll. I was just thinking about it, maybe just beat them up. And it’s like you said.”. He stands up from his seat, placing the gun back on his person. It was time to go.
“You do stupid things when you’re in love.” The mask goes back on.
WHEN ARE WE Atlanta Georgia, 2023 They arrived at their hotel for the night
The newfoundland had made himself comfortable in the corner of the room, deciding to take a long nap against the heater in the room. It's late, almost one in the morning. And they both would need to get up early in the morning to hit the road again if they wanted to make it to Sam’s by the afternoon.
Stepping into the bathtub, Y/N sinks deeper into it and lets out a sigh of content. Something about taking a bubble bath in a luxury bathroom always made her feel nice seeing as she never pampered herself. The fact that the hotel also allowed guests to keep the ropes made it ten times better. And she always found hotel beds to feel softer and more relaxing than her bed at home. The Nurse swore it was some sort of magic. And the bathroom had amazing acoustics, the girl playing music from her phone.
She hears the door creak open just a little followed by heavy footsteps. Bucky must have been grabbing something, hearing him muttering about needing a towel as he looks in the other part of the bathroom. However, the muttering stops as he listens to the song being played.
“What’s the name of this song?”He asks after a while.
“Jackie Onassis by Sammy Rae and The Friends. Why? You like it?”. A moment of silence before he answers.
“Yeah. I...I do actually.”.
“You’re more than welcome to sit in here and listen to it. Could even join me in the bath if you want, the water is still hot”.
Bucky doesn’t say anything as he’s a bit hesitant. But he soon finds himself stripping out of his clothes and rounding the corner to where the tub was located. The music sounded better in here though, the nurse bobbing her head to it. He can definitely tell she took advantage of all the free stuff already as there’s a bubble grown on her head.
It starts off as a snicker.
And then he’s full-on laughing.
The Nurse pouts at him, crossing her arms. “What?”.
“Nothing, nothing. You’re just — god — you’re just adorable.”He says, climbing in and taking a spot across from her.
“You say that until you realize you need to make yourself a bubble outfit now. My bath, my rules.”.
Bucky playfully rolls his eyes before taking a stack of the bubbles and forming a beard on his face as well as a mustache. It results in Y/N falling into a fit of giggles, reaching for her phone to take a photo of the scene before her.  The super-soldier doesn’t try to stop her, in fact, he humors her and makes the silliest face he could think of.
THIS WAS THE LIFE THEY BOTH WANTED WITH THE OTHER A married life with peaceful moments like these. No super-soldiers, no vibranium arms. Sergeant wouldn’t be a working dog rather just a family dog. Maybe this would have been their honeymoon, only they would be in another country. Perhaps a trip to France so she could eat as many sweets as she wanted. Maybe he would be a teacher by then and her a full-on nurse. Or whatever they had planned on doing after the war.
There’s always that moment in the clique moment when time slows down, and one character is staring at their love interest as if they’re the one for them. Well, that was how Y/N was looking at Bucky now, even more so as Sergeant makes his way in to join the two. The super soldier only looks in her direction again when he feels her eyes on him, giving her a small smile.
“What are you thinking, Doll?”.
“You...and how much better you would look if you had a matching hat.”Y/N lies though it’s only partially. She really was thinking about him. Thinking about how in love with him she was and how much the Sergeant meant to her. Even if the last few days hadn’t been the best, questioning where they stood in this relationship. Whether they could go back to being the couple they once were or if they were truly better off as friends. Questioning if there was a possibility that they could live somewhat normal lives, even with this curse of hers.
It takes a bad liar to spot one, Bucky wiping off the beard before speaking. “You sure that’s what you were thinking about, Doll?”.
James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes was and still is, the love of Y/N’s life. In the short time that the two had together during the war, he had quickly become the person she trusted the most. And he had meant the world to her. And so, when the Sergeant was assumed KIA? It felt like her world had started to cave in.  Of course, throughout her years alive, there had been others who wanted her love and affection. Men would come along to try and sweep her off her feet. But none of them were her Bucky. None of them could fill her gap. And so, of course, it pained her that he didn’t realize how much he meant to her. Their argument on the way to Latvia probably made it harder for her to prove it to him.
“I was thinking about you. Thinking about how in love with you I am and that, if you’re still willing...I’m ready to try again. Thinking about how I’m truly sorry for what I said on the flight to Latvia, knowing damn well none of it was your fault. And I know it’s not your fault that you don’t know how much you mean to me. That’s something I need to work on, showing you how much I love you.”.
Her voice eventually trails off the longer the Sergeant stares back at her, long enough that she starts to feel self-conscious about the words that just left her mouth. Perhaps it was just bad timing or he had finally realized that she wasn’t worth it anymore. Maybe the Nurse missed her chance or that her own insecurities and issues drove him away, that he had found the ridiculousness of why she was pushing him away. Or maybe it wasn’t that, maybe she had read all the signs wrong. That he didn’t come to check on her last night because he loved her. That he checked on her because Y/N was just a friend. Maybe their road trip, joking like they used to, and singing horribly to songs meant nothing more than just being friends. That taking her to see what Steve had done for her was just his way of being a good friend to her.
That when he said he loved her the night prior, he meant it as a friend.
Y/N MADE BUCKY PROMISE TO REMEMBER HER But she never made him promise to love her forever.  He had met women like Natasha Romanoff and other agents like Sharon Carter.  She couldn’t compare to that. Sure, she had also been an agent of Shield and she had done one heroic act during the second world war. But what was a shiny metal to saving the world multiple times? What was being a Nurse to a deadly assassin or whatever Sharon was now.
Y/N Y/L/N wasn’t anything special and she definitely wasn’t anything special now.
Whatever the cause for Bucky’s silence may be, Y/N just knew she didn’t want him to see her cry. If she stayed in that tub any longer, staring back at an emotionless face, the tears would start to fall. The Nurse is quick to climb out of the bathtub, leaving the bathroom quickly as she wraps a towel around her. Y/N grabs the first change of clothes she sees, not realizing it’s one of his shirts as she’s suddenly glad that the hotel only had a luxury two-room suite available for the two of them. It was a little expensive but the Nurse had more than enough to pay for it. The room had more than enough beds. And a room where she could hide from him for the night.
The Sergeant is on the other side of the door, missing her by a second due to his delayed reaction. He didn’t bother getting dressed, only had a towel wrapped around him. His fist bangs against the door to the other bedroom, heart hammering in his chest. “Doll, open the door please. I….you just caught me off guard, that’s all. Just talk to me, please.”.
He can hear her crying softly on the other side, not needing the enhanced hearing for that. And it just makes him feel worse. Today had gone so well, he thought he was doing well. Buying all the snacks they could possibly carry. A bit of karaoke to songs he didn’t know the lyrics to. Trying to get truckers to blow their horns and cheering like little kids when they did. Stopping to get ridiculously expensive milkshakes at ShakeShack.
Bucky told her he wasn’t going to give up on her. And he wasn’t going to start now. And it’s in the determination that he finds the Nurse forgot to lock the door in her rush to get away from him.
HE STILL NEEDED TO TELL HER ABOUT HER BROTHER Part of the reason he was so hesitant. Because we wanted this, wanted her. And even if Y/N tries convincing him everything he’s done as the Winter Soldier wasn’t his fault….will she still think that when he revealed how Bradford died? Her beloved baby brother?
The door swings open and for a moment, Bucky just stands in the doorway taking in the scene before him. Y/N just changed into his shirt, just long enough to cover her ass. The Sergeant is quick to notice the tear stains on her cheeks as they’re still fresh as well as the sniffles from her. She looked a mess.  But, nonetheless, he stared at her as if she was as beautiful as she ever was. Looking at her like she was somehow above him or too good to be true. That regardless of how broken and scared this woman before him was, regardless of everything, the Nurse was the only person he could ever want. Even more so as steel blue eyes seem to be undressing her, seeing her in his shirt just reminding him of how in love with her he was.  
Bucky doesn’t bother to shut the door behind him, slowly making his way over to Y/N. Gently, he grabs her face and wipes away the few tears rolling down her cheek.
Then he kissed her. And that’s when everything stopped. The whole room, the ceiling, the sky outside the window, the floor underneath them, the air. Everything. Everything stopped but time, the only one that frantic enough to keep going, perhaps even move faster. And soon enough, that soft kiss turned into something more. Bucky was kissing her as if he was running out of time.
No more time to be wasted.
Not another second as they had a lot to catch up on.
Bucky had 80 years’ worth of things he wanted to tell her, to do with her.
The Nurse didn’t need to tell him how much he meant to her as he could tell in the way she immediately melts into the kiss, arms snaking around his neck and playing with his hair like she always did. Everything she ever had to say to him, everything she didn’t get a chance to tell him, those words flew past her lips. How much she missed him after all these years, refusing to love another. How much she longed for him even when he was in the same room as her. In the way the Nurse was kissing him, the Sergeant knew how in love she was with him regardless of the mess of a human he was or the horrible things he was forced to do, loving his flaws whether they were visible or not. All this from how hard she pressed her soft lips against his.
** The Sergeant pushes her against the wall, falling in love with the sinful sounds that came from those very lips. It was in this moment that he knew that all he wanted was to love her. To make her feel loved after decades of loneliness and self-isolation. Whether it took all night or another hundred years, he was going to make her feel worthy of his affection even though Y/N was more than worthy of it. He was going to prove to her that his feelings about her never changed, that nothing had altered his love for her since 1943 when they first met or since in 1993 when he was more than to kill anyone that put her in harm's way.
HE LIKED TO THINK THAT HE AND THE WINTER SOLDIER HAD DIFFERENT MEMORIES. But Bucky Barnes and The Winter Soldier had the same memory of her. Both had loved her furiously. Enough that it made even the head of Hydra was concerned that they would lose all control over the asset due to an emotion they thought they had gotten rid of. They both remembered how kind she was despite being experimented on, how the Nurse was the only one to remind them that they were still human. That there were good people outside the concrete walls of Hydra.
Neither of them cared that it was nearly two in the morning and that they needed to get up early, that one of them would need to drive. Bucky doesn’t care as he gently pulls away, just to look his lover in the eye. Doesn’t care as he pushes himself into her, Y/N’s breathing turning into soft moans. And by the time the Sergeant finishes having her against that wall, bringing her over to the bed, he still doesn’t give a damn as teeth sink into the Nurse's Neck, biting down just to hold himself up from his own thrusts. And as he hoists her up so the sweetest part of her body is just hovering over his mouth, with a flesh hand and one metal gripping her thighs, Y/N learns she also doesn’t care.
IF BUCKY BARNES WAS ARES, GOD OF WAR, Y/N Y/L/N WAS APHRODITE, GODDESS OF LOVE You may argue that Y/N was more like Hygieia, the goddess of good health, cleanliness, and sanitation. However, to fit their love story better, historians sometimes compared them to the god of war and the goddess of love. It made even more sense when it was revealed that Bucky Barnes was the Winter Soldier.
And as sex and ecstasy filled the room, fingernails digging into his back and hips rolling together, and once it dies down with two being intoxicated off each other, stealing kisses when they could and smiling like idiots at one another, they fit comparison well.
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mads-weasley · a month ago
Love & War
Pt. 2: Introductions
40s!Bucky Barnes x Medic!Reader
Series Masterlist
A/N: Wow! I’ve gotten such an overwhelming positive review on the first chapter so I’m so excited! Thank you to everyone who read it! Sadly, I do not own any of these wonderful characters except (y/n). This chapter is super short because I wanted to establish their relationship before we got into anything else! As always, hope you enjoy!
Summary: When she volunteered as a combat nurse in the war, (y/n) (y/l/n) did not think that she’d end up working alongside the Howling Commandos. Most of all, she definitely didn’t think she would fall as hard as she did for a sweet brunette from Brooklyn.
Warnings: extreme fluff! <3
(y/n) - your name
(y/l/n) - your last name
(y/n/n) - your nickname
(y/h/c) - your hair color
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The young nurse couldn’t believe she was being recruited to be a part of the Howling Commandos!
“So, are you interested?”
“Yes, sir! Thank you so much.”
Wiping her tear stained face, she gets up with the help of Dugan. He leads her through the school to a room with a makeshift bar. Immediately, a young brunette catches her eye.
Dum Dum clears his throat to get their attention. “Men, this is (y/n) (y/l/n). She’s going to be our new, much needed, medic.”
Standing at the front of the room, she can feel their eyes on her. Glancing to the boy, more like man, who caught her eye, she sees his mouth slightly agape.
She awkwardly waves and says, “Hi, y’all. Thanks for thinking of me,” with a thick southern accent. They all start to smile and snicker at her drawl. A young blonde, who she recognizes as Steve Rogers: AKA Captain America, is the first to break the silence.
“Welcome to the Howling Commandos, (y/n). We’re glad to have you.” The other men join in and welcome her into the squad. She was introduced to Jim Morita, Monty, Gabe, and Jacques. The only person that didn’t introduce himself was the handsome soldier who was still sitting on a bench, cleaning his sniper rifle.
Fighting her insecurities, she walks up to him, reaching out her hand. “Hi, I’m (y/n).”
He looks up and shakes her hand, his mouth quirked up in a tiny smirk. “Sergeant James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky, doll. Love the accent. Where ya from?”
The nickname rolling off his tongue sends goosebumps across her skin and she tries to hide the blush that follows.
“I like James, actually.”
“You do, huh? My mom does too. She’s the only one who called me that, but I like it when you say it.” He smiles, biting his lip slightly.
“Alright, James. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You never told me where your from.” He states doe eyed.
“Try and figure it out, Sarge.”
The pair hadn’t broken eye contact the whole duration of their conversation. They both realize this and that their hands were still in the other’s, so they awkwardly pull them away. At this, each of the young Americans chuckled. She smiles sweetly before walking towards the door.
Steve calls out to her. “(Y/n)? Where ya going?”
“Don’t worry, y’all didn’t scare me away. I need to get my stuff and tell my friends bye.”
With that, she went off and gathered the small amount of personal items she had. It consisted of a Bible, jewelry, and some pictures of her family and friends back home. Finding Betty, she tells the older girl about her new squad and that she’d have to leave. With a hug and encouraging words, the friends part and (y/n) returns to the Howling Commandos’ room.
The rest of the group had already fallen asleep in the small amount of time she was gone, so she took the opportunity to get ready for bed. Finding a corner, she laid out her sleeping bag. Sighing, she took down her (y/h/c) hair from the tight bun it had been in all day and wiped off the little makeup she hadn’t cried off earlier.
As she did every night before bed, she prayed, looked through her photos, and thought of her family and Allie. This time though, there was someone else on her mind. It was none other than James “Bucky” Barnes she had met merely hours ago. Something about his kind smile and flirtatious personality drew her to him. Laying down on her sleeping bag, she had no idea that less than 10 feet away, he was having the same problem.
Back in Brooklyn, Bucky was what you call a ladies man. He always had a date or a girl on his arm, but the war had changed him into a more respectful and mature man. Even though he had only met her for a few minutes, he realized there was something very special about (y/n), other than her beauty. They both finally drifted to sleep thinking of the other.
Tag List:
@confusednerd09 @ahahafudge @bluemoon-icecream @lunamadhatter99 @thatfangirl42 @fionanovasleftnut @friendly-letters @youcanstandundermyamberella @caritobbg @marvel-ous-miss-maisie @fitzfiles @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @jo-ha-nna @pastel-boy-sungjae
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the-fallen-nightmare · a month ago
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Summary: 1940'S Bucky Barnes x Reader/ Present Bucky Barnes x Reader.
Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, some smut at some point.
Summary: Before the war, Bucky and Reader had the picture perfect life together. When she lost him, she thought that she would never find that kind of love again. However, someone from a different time returns to give her that love once more. Will she follow them through the unknown or come to terms that her once in a lifetime love is truly gone?
A/N: I hope everyone is liking it so far!
TAGS: @overthinkinggotmedrinking @igothroughphasesalot @veralyonn @shannonleanna182 @white-wolf-buckaroo @whatawildone @jessyballet @sebby-staan @multiyfandomgirl40 @andeys-obsessions @spid3rgwen @slut-for-buck @spideyyypeter @voguekristen @justmeandmyfuckeduplife @kenziekugler22 @hoodedbirdie​​
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December 25, 1941
Snow fell around the two of us, bringing a smile to my face, and I linked fingers with Bucky as we continued our walk towards his house. 
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I questioned. 
Bucky grazed a kiss over my knuckles. “My ma is going to love you, doll. You have nothing to worry about.” 
His words did nothing to ease the dreaded fear of meeting his mom and sister. Bucky thought it would be a great idea to invite me over for Christmas and for his family to finally meet me. I, however, couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a bad idea. 
We had been dating exclusively the last couple of months, seeing each other almost every other day. After Bucky talked to his mom about me countless times, she wanted to meet me. From what I heard, she is the biggest sweetheart and would do anything for her kids, but that still did nothing to stop my hammering heart. 
A sudden cold breeze blew past us causing Bucky to pull me closer to his warm chest, his typical scent weighing heavily on his suit. 
“Are you going to tell me what my present is?” I asked, looking up to Bucky. 
He shook his head. “Not yet. 
I gave him my best pouty lip which did nothing to phase him. He merely gripped onto my shoulder and turned our bodies down a corner, a lone house coming into view. It wasn’t one of the bigger ones I’ve seen but it also wasn’t small by any means. 
“I don’t know, Bucky,” I said coming to a stop. 
“Doll,” Bucky started. 
“What if she finds something she doesn’t like about me? What if she thinks I’m not good enough for you?” 
Words kept rambling from my mouth so Bucky pressed his lips to mine, hushing my doubts immediately. 
“She is going to love you, Y/N. Please stop worrying about nothing.” 
His blue eyes pleaded for me to trust his words so with a soft sigh, I nodded and allowed him to link our fingers together, leading me inside. The house was filled with loud voices, laughing and yelling, and my nerves relaxed only briefly. 
“Ma? Rebecca?” 
Bucky walked with me into the kitchen where two women were standing in front of the stove, working hard on dinner. Hearing Bucky's voice, their actions halted and once they saw me holding onto his arm, they broke out in huge smiles. 
His sister, Rebecca, darted around the counter and over towards me, pulling me away from Bucky and into her arms, a bone crushing hug followed. 
“Oh, hi,” I giggled, my own arms wrapping around her. 
“You are way too beautiful to be with my brother,” Rebecca joked with a smirk towards her brother. 
I raised my brow to him. “Hear that, Buck?” 
“Alright, that’s enough,” Bucky gently pulled me away from his sister and led me towards his mom. “Ma, this is Y/N. Doll, this is my mom Winnifred.” 
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Barnes,” I extended my hand towards her. 
She eyed it with an unreadable expression and the nerves wrecked my body once more the longer I stood in front of her, with my hand extended. 
A smile broke out on her tired face before pushing my hand away and pulling me into yet another bone crushing hug. 
“It’s so nice to finally meet you, sweetheart. James has talked about you so much, I was starting to think he was making you up.” 
“I can assure you, Mrs. Barnes I’m real,” I laughed. 
She waved me off. “Please call me Winnie.” 
I handed my jacket and purse to Bucky before nodding towards the multiple pots and pans that cluttered around the kitchen. 
“Would you like any help?” 
Winnie nodded with a smile. “That would be lovely dear, thank you.” 
For the next while, I helped Winnie and Rebecca prepare Christmas dinner while Bucky sat at the table in the middle of the kitchen, a warm smile spread wide across his face. I would catch his eye every so often and felt the butterflies spring to life when I noticed how lovingly he was watching me. 
The table was filled with a large spread of food and as I was about to mention how much food there was, a knock sounded at the front door. Bucky excused himself for a moment before returning to the kitchen, Steve following in toe. 
“Merry Christmas, Stevie,” I smiled while giving him a hug. 
“Merry Christmas, Y/N. I hope you guys don’t mind me crashing,” Steve said. 
Winnie shook her head. “You know you’re always welcome here, Steve.” 
Dinner was an absolute dream, all of us talking and joking about God knows what. It had been so long since I sat down in a family dinner and I hadn’t realized how bad I had missed it. My parents died right after I turned eighteen so I had been on my own the last handful of years. That’s what made Steve and I so close and Bucky could also relate, losing his father at a young age. 
Bucky’s hand gently rested on my thigh under the table and with the warmth that spread from the tip of my toes to the cheeks of my face, I tried to remain calm as the thought of the present I was giving him tonight came to mind. 
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“Oh goodness, who let me wear heels and walk two blocks home?” I groaned as I stepped through the threshold of my apartment. 
Bucky chuckled before picking me up bridal style and carrying me into my room. He gently laid me on my bed and slowly worked at taking off my shoes. 
“Thank you, Bucky.” 
“Anything for you, doll.” 
With a quick toss of my shoes into my closet, Bucky sat on the bed next to me and traced shapes on my exposed thigh. 
After dinner, we walked Steve home and it took a little convincing of my lips on his to convince Bucky to spend the night. 
“Oh, before I forget,” Bucky leaned his body over mine as he reached for something in his jacket pocket that laid in a mess on the floor. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.” 
With a giddy smile, I propped myself up on my knees and slowly unwrapped the small present. The velvet of the black box tickled my fingers and I took off the tip, a gasp falling from my lips. 
“Bucky,” I breathed. “This is-.” 
Inside the box was a gorgeous gold necklace with a shiny black pendant in the middle. It was a large oval shape and when I flipped it over, the inscription on the back brought tears to my eyes. 
All the time in the world isn’t enough with you, doll. I love you. J.B.B.
I had to read the words a few more times for the words to really sink into my brain. 
I love you. 
My eyes snapped from the necklace to Bucky, who was watching me with an intense gaze.
“You love me?” The words came out quiet 
He nodded. “I knew the moment you spilled my coffee on me that I was in love with you.” 
Cupping his cheek with one hand and the other clutching tightly to the necklace, I gave Bucky a quick but firm kiss. 
“I love you too,” I mumbled against them. 
His eyes shone with the love he had just professed while he moved a strand of hair out of my face. 
“With this war going on, I don’t know what the future holds so I didn’t want another day to go by without telling you how I feel,” Bucky professed while helping me put on the necklace. 
The war overseas had been a looming fear in the back of our minds, wondering how it would affect our relationship. Men were either enlisting or getting drafted. The last thing on Bucky’s mind was enlisting, not wanting to leave me behind alone. 
I shook the thoughts of war out of my mind, not wanting to ruin the rest of Christmas with those sad thoughts. Straddling Bucky’s hips, I ran my hands through his hair causing his eyes to flutter shut. 
“Ready for your present now?” I questioned, leaving small love marks over his neck. 
Bucky’s hands gripped my hips tightly as he let out a low hiss. Our hips started to slowly move in sync, grinding over the fabric of our clothes. His hands moved from my hips to my thighs, slowly lifting the bottom of my dress up over my ass. 
“Are you sure about this, doll?” Bucky asked after pulling away from a heated kiss we shared. “I don’t want to pressure you into anything.” 
I lifted his chin with my finger. “I’ve thought about nothing but this for awhile now. I want you, Bucky.” 
With my final words, Bucky turned me onto my back causing a playful giggle to fall from my lips. We spent that night together connected more than ever before and we ignored the worries of the world past the walls of my bedroom; even if it would finally catch up to us.
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wnterwidows · a month ago
Loved You a Long, Long Time
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Pairing: 40s!Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary: You had pinned over Steve Rogers for years as a young girl and despite moving on from a fleeting crush, attending his engagement party makes you wonder if you’ll ever find someone. Lucky for you, the best man to be only has eyes for you. [3.4k]
Warnings: fluff, longing, so much pining, mentions of being at war, mentions of drinking, reader is melancholic, slight!AU — Steve took the super soldier serum but was never frozen.
Request: Kissing away tears from the kissing prompt list requested by anon
A/N: this isn’t canon complaint for the sake of the plot. Steve takes the serum but is never frozen and this takes place after the end of the war when Steggy decides to get married.
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The atmosphere was so similar to that before the war as everyone seemed to wear bright smiles with a captivating glimmer of hope for something better in their eyes. One could naively think that the smiles people wore and the very real happiness they all felt signified that everything was the same, that after the war had been won there was nothing holding anyone back from living as it was before. This was true in a way, you suppose, as the houses were truthfully the very same and the cities didn’t look too different. But besides the surface level appearances, everything had changed after the war the men fought.
It was the war that had turned boys into men - quite literally too as skinny Steve Rogers had turned into the man he was today. He and Bucky had gone off to fight in the war and were lucky to come back in one piece while you had spent years waiting for their return. 
When they came back from fighting you were left behind, praying for their safe return. The world was changing, people kept telling you, but all you knew was that you needed your best friends with you and everything would be fine in comparison.
Growing up with Steve and Bucky had made life in the city of Brooklyn a bit better than it would have been without them. The three of you were always found together on the streets of Brooklyn. 
Bucky was strong and tall, more often than not having the girls swoon. But you knew him before he had them falling at his feet and calling him Sarge — a nickname you only called him in a friendly, mocking matter. 
The girls always seem to fall at his feet and before the war, he hadn’t gone so far to what you could call courting a local girl. Some dates here and there but nothing serious. Maybe you would have noticed how peculiar that was, knowing that any person would want to fall in love and find their special someone, and just how odd it was that Bucky hadn’t. But you didn’t because you had always been so stuck on looking in Steve’s direction. 
You had found him endearing and sweet, looking past his stature just like Bucky had. No girls had ever been interested in Steve, really, not like they were drawn to Bucky, of course. You were drawn to Steve though in the type of schoolgirl crush that didn’t seem to go away and even as you grew to be teenagers it took sometimes to shake it off. 
You loved Steve and Bucky as best friends and this crush you had on Steve was natural but even in your infatuation teenage mind you could tell the love you had for Steve wasn’t real but a mere coming of age. Every girl had to have her first liking to a boy and it wasn’t so surprising that it was one of your best friends for you. 
Maybe it was because even though Steve and Bucky both held the title of your best friends, you seemed to always be at Steve’s side when he needed you. 
When Steve never backed down from a fight you were there to patch up his wounds and you were also there to help him try to get enlisted for the army. He never did, though, and you were there to soothe his worries. 
You acted like any girl would if she was infatuated with her best friend at that tender age where everything seemed real and like it was meant to last. Even so, you still loved both your friends like your own brothers. Regardless of your feelings for Steve, you’d lay your life on the line for both of them and knew they’d do the same for you.
Bucky Barnes and Steve were unequivocally your best friends and you loved them both. But with Steve it had been different, it had always been different. You were always drawn to him and anyone with a pair of eyes could see how you were infatuated with him. Not that he noticed, of course. Ironically, it was quite the same as you didn’t notice Bucky looking at you the same way.
You could sense your feelings beginning to slip away as the time got closer to when Bucky was going to be deployed. Steve was upset he wasn’t able to go and fight — not that it mattered when he eventually was able to go to war. 
Even so, your feelings had changed and it was true it was a mere infatuation that any teenage girl would have. Still, deep down you weren’t aware of this.
Even on the night before Bucky was going to leave for deployment, your mind still believed that Steve was the only one for you. Those feelings s had faded but your mind was intent on sticking to the past.
Perhaps it was when Steve slipped away at the fair you had gone to together along with Bucky and his date for the night that you should have seen the sign that you were really over him. Surely the signs should have been there as you weren’t gutted that Steve had unsurprisingly disappeared but that you felt the familiar uncomfortable tugging at your chest at the sight of Bucky’s date clinging to his arm.
You ignored the obvious signs with ease, both for the absence of your infatuation with Steve and the more serious attraction you had towards Bucky. It was easy to ignore it, especially when Bucky was off to war the next day and Steve not long after.
The days of the war seemed to fade together and the letters were few and far in between but you pulled through. You worked your job, helped your family, and prayed for the safe return of Steve and Bucky.
The sight that greeted you when the war had been won and your friends returned had shocked you. Steve was tall and muscular, just as tall as Bucky now. You had smiled at your friends widely, forgoing the ladylike manners your mother had instilled in you, and ran towards them, being met halfway and practically jumping into their arms.
You were clutching to the thick sleeves of Bucky’s uniform jacket as you hugged him tightly, reminding yourself of how many nights you wondered if you wouldn’t get to see your friends again - this was war, after all. 
But as you pulled back, there he was in the flesh and the very same Bucky you remembered - all smiles and confidence. That confidence that was contagious but he wore that look much better than you ever could. If possible, he looked as if he had grown more into himself than when he left for war. Perhaps, this wasn’t as strong a contrast to how Steve had grown into himself but it was there.
The way he looked at you that day and the way you gazed at him, in the same way, that screamed longing between two people should have been a rather obvious sign of the feelings he had for you, if not the feelings you harbored for him. If not either of these, the way you touch lingered on his as you embraced him, or the way he didn’t want to let go of you either should have told you both what anyone else could see. But once again, you ignored those signs of longing and the hopes for romance like you had before when you felt jealousy at the fair at another girl touching him. 
It was easier to ignore then but much harder now when he was right in front of you. The distraction this time around came in Steve introducing you for the first time to Peggy, a striking brunette who had a strong personality. Nothing surprised you when Steve had looked at her so tenderly and doted on her and you, in turn, couldn’t help but like her. Maybe that should have been another sign that your feelings were reserved for Bucky, not Steve, but once again you ignored it.
Even now, as you stood in Steve’s new home you were ignoring these signs that had been being thrown in your face left and right for far too long. It was all but a year since that day you met Peggy when your friends came back from fighting a war that you were all here with countless other guests - all of you celebrating Steve and Peggy’s engagement.
This was the final sign that you had never been in love with Steve as you could only feel joy for your childhood friend and the woman that had turned out to be a very good friend of yours. You loved Peggy now just as you had Steve and truly couldn’t imagine anyone else by his side. They made sense together, you thought, and you were glad Steve had found his person.
There was a certain melancholy though that came with engagements parties quite like this one. Everyone around you was gleeful with the men in their suits and the women in their elegant dresses as the 40’s music and chatter were being filled throughout the space. You should have been happier, you thought, but found no solace in the champagne in your flute like everyone else seemed to. 
You felt a bit suffocated and no amount of joy at seeing Peggy and Steve intermingling happily as they celebrated their engagement seemed to make you feel better. The thoughts were toxic as they swirled in your mind with no intent on ceasing anytime soon.
Would you end up alone? Would you ever find someone? Would anyone ever look at you the way Steve looked at Peggy?
These thoughts were countless, coming a dime a dozen and made your head feel like it was collapsing on itself. Despite the comfortable temperature inside their home, you felt so uncomfortable and the heat was too much. Huffing to yourself from a type of exhaustion you worked yourself into, you slide your champagne glass on a nearby table intent on leaving.
As you pushed the door open, you felt yourself begin to breathe with ease again but only just. The chill outside was one you welcomed, finding the lack of people around you comfort after spending all night surrounded by people who were so happy unlike yourself. 
“Hey doll,” Bucky said casually, leaning himself against the red brick wall of Steve’s - and now Peggy’s - home. 
You turned your head over your shoulder and flitted your eyes to where Bucky stood. You had worried too much of the evening to notice how handsome he looked in his suit and tie. You had thought he looked mighty handsome in his uniform but you liked the suit much better, it made him look less like Sargeant Barnes and more like Bucky. 
“Hey Bucky,” You said in a quiet voice, strained by the lump in your throat you had been tirelessly trying to push down all night. You turned your body around, leaning against the cold metal railing with your hands still on the railing. You were no stranger to his worried eyes and were quick to dismiss what you knew he would ask. “I’m fine, Bucky.”
He wasn’t convinced and only quirked an eyebrow up. “You are?” He asked, not intending for you to answer. “Is that why you left the party? Why you haven’t said a word to us all night?” 
“Go and enjoy the party.” You urged him half-heartedly, recognizing how much less overwhelmed you felt in his presence. 
He simply shook his head, a teasing expression on his face. “Not much of a party without you.” His facade dropped as he took a step towards you, grasping your arm tenderly. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong or am I going to have to stay out here all night?” 
A beat of silence passed and you were unsure what you could tell him. The truth itself was embarrassing and you knew Bucky wouldn’t judge you but that wasn’t even the point at that moment. You didn’t want to admit it, not to him.
He took your silence as meaning that you wouldn’t tell him what was wrong. “Steve and Peggy were looking for you.” He tried, hoping to gain your attention.
“I doubt that.” You retorted in an almost amused voice. “Too busy celebrating their engagement. They’re too in love to notice my absence, you know that.”
“Alright, you got me.” He put his hands up in mock defense. “I was looking for you. Been trying to catch your attention all night but you didn’t seem to notice. So are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?” Bucky thought about how long he had took picking out this suit, how Steve had teased him. When the hell was it Steve teasing him for being whipped, so desperate to catch a girl’s eye? But you were in your head, that much he was able to tell and it didn’t matter how much he needed you to see him, now he needed to know what was bothering you. 
Meanwhile, you were quiet, feeling trepidation in telling him. But this was Bucky. You had known him since you were kids and if you couldn’t trust him then who could you trust so admitted it as casually as you could. “I need to get used to being alone Bucky, at this point that’s my future.”
Your casual tone threw him off and he laughed, thinking this was some joke. Hell, he had thought you were glum because you were still stuck on Steve like you had been before they had been deployed but this? This had not been expected. 
“C’mon doll, don’t be ridiculous.” He quipped, looking at you with a reaction that showed you just how utterly ridiculous he found your belief that you would have to get used to being alone. “We got back safe from the war and it’ll only be a matter of time before someone strikes your fancy.”
You were frustrated and the scoff that fell from your lips was all but involuntary. “You don’t understand.” The lump in your throat had grown tenfold and you felt like you were at your wit’s end.
“Now hold on-” He tried to soothe you.
“I’m going to end up alone, Buck.” You said miserably, not bothering to lie to him at this point. Bucky had known you forever and you knew there would be no point in trying to lie to him. You gestured to nothing in particular as your arm made a wild motion, showing your distress. “I mean I’m getting older and if I was going to find someone it would have happened by now, right? And I haven’t. It’s hopeless-” The tears were cascading down your cheeks helplessly with no means to stop as you rambled, your mind going into hyperdrive as you became more and more overwhelmed. 
“Hey now,” Bucky said with a sense of urgency to soothe you, stepping forward and comforting you as he pulled your body into his. The rough feeling of his dress coat hit your cheek, the fabric which ought to feel uncomfortable under your sensitive skin was nonexistent as his strong cologne relaxed you. He rubbed soothing circles onto your back and let you get out your long-awaited cries. “Let it out, I got you now, sweetheart.” He comforted you as your choked sobs fell past your lips.
You weren’t able to see the grimace on Bucky’s face as you cried your heart out. How anyone could find themselves so unworthy, let alone so unworthy of love, baffled him. To him, you had always been perfect but he wasn’t foolish enough to tell you that over the years. Bucky was a lot of things and blind wasn’t one of them, so of course, he saw how you looked at Steve when you were young and saved himself from the embarrassment.
The other girls he took out on a date, but never a second date, couldn’t hold a candle to you if they tried, even as you were crying your eyes out. 
Even now, as he pulled back once you stopped crying and got a good look at you. There you were, tears coating your cheeks and Bucky still found you the most beautiful thing - tear-stained cheeks and ruined make-up and all.
You sniffled, rubbing your nose with your arm, and took a glance at Bucky, finding him only looking down at you with a concerned look on his face. “I must look a mess.” You sighed, all too aware of how much you had cried and what your makeup must look like now. Thinking of the party you internally groaned as dread set in you. “I don’t think I can go back in there, not when I look this horrible.”
“You don’t look horrible.” He admonished softly, insistent that you couldn’t go on believing the words that fell from your lips. 
Your eyes flitted up from their gaze on your shoes, finding Bucky’s eyes looking at you with a gaze so honest your breath caught in your chest. He had never looked at you quite like that, you thought. “I don’t?” You queried in a voice just as soft as his had been. It was vulnerable and unsure. You certainly felt horrible so figured your appearance ought to have matched this, although just being near Bucky eased the pain in your chest that had been plaguing you all evening.
“No.” He sighed, taking the time to look at you. “You always look beautiful.” 
Your eyes widen slightly and you tried to ignore the heat creeping up your neck. “Even now?” You asked, remembering the amount you had been crying.
“Especially now.” He answered softer still with a certain firmness to his words, there was no doubting he was speaking the truth. Maybe your eyes were red and make-up ruined from crying but that didn’t mean Bucky didn’t think you looked beautiful.
The way he was looking at you made you stall, your damp cheeks no longer a distraction. It was different than he had used to look at you, you realized. You could ignore this sign too like you had done all the last, prepared to ignore this sign of shared pining between you two. It would have been easy enough after everything you had ignored in past years. 
Just as you went to wipe the tears that had collected on your cheeks Bucky had become overcome by the urge to do something he had been thinking about for years. 
Without thinking, he pressed his lips against your cheek, kissing away your tears. For a split second, he felt some worry but that was soon erased as he felt your hand grasp his bicep, silently begging him to not let go. 
He kissed your other cheek before pulling back, your faces mere inches apart. This was the closest he’s ever been to you and he never wanted to be further apart. “You look plenty beautiful with tears but I always preferred you when you were smiling.” He admitted looking into your eyes searching for some kind of answer, needing to know if you felt the same by some miracle or if he had just ruined a lifelong friendship. 
“Bucky?” You asked him, still holding onto his arm. “Can I ask you a favor?”
“Anything.” He answered breathlessly in an instant.
“Kiss me.” You told him with a spurt of confidence. 
Bucky didn’t need to be told twice before he moved forward, connecting his lips with yours. He felt just as warm as you had always imagined and found yourself getting lost in the feeling of Bucky’s lips on your own. You felt your lungs soon run out of air and knew Bucky must have felt the same, otherwise, he wouldn’t have pulled back, his face still so close to yours.
“I’ve loved you a long, long time doll.” He confessed, blue eyes gazing into your own. Nudging his nose against your own his lips brushed against yours again. “Don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.” His lips came down on yours again as you savored the feeling, easily melting into his body as his hands slid across the fabric of your dress and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into his body closer still.
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Requests for Bucky Barnes are open!
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the-fallen-nightmare · a month ago
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Summary: 1940'S Bucky Barnes x Reader/ Present Bucky Barnes x Reader.
Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, some smut at some point.
Summary: Before the war, Bucky and Reader had the picture perfect life together. When she lost him, she thought that she would never find that kind of love again. However, someone from a different time returns to give her that love once more. Will she follow them through the unknown or come to terms that her once in a lifetime love is truly gone?
A/N: It is so hard to find gifs on 1940′s Bucky that I haven’t used yet. As mentioned in a previous chapter, I’m really not too sure how long this series will be. So it’ll be a “go as we all flow” kind of story. Enjoy! 
TAGS: @overthinkinggotmedrinking @igothroughphasesalot @veralyonn @shannonleanna182 @white-wolf-buckaroo @whatawildone @jessyballet @sebby-staan @multiyfandomgirl40 @andeys-obsessions @spid3rgwen @slut-for-buck @spideyyypeter @voguekristen​ @justmeandmyfuckeduplife @kenziekugler22 
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October 31, 1941
The sound of kids laughing brought a smile to my face as I gave them all a wave goodbye before letting the door shut behind me. I set the bowl of candy down on the end table that stood its place next to the door and with a tired sigh, I allowed my body to mold into the couch. 
Halloween was my favorite holiday, my apartment being decorated from head to toe in a variety of decorations. Tonight, however, I couldn’t find it to be happy. No matter how many smiles I saw on kids' faces when they heard they could take two pieces of candy from my bowl. 
“Everything alright?” 
I looked over to Steve and gave him a sad nod. “I thought Bucky would be back by now.” 
“It’s alright,” Steve patted my knee. “His family goes on these vacations all the time.” 
“I know. I didn’t expect him to be gone all month,” I sighed. 
Bucky and I had gone on a handful of dates but never finished off the date with a kiss. He was always a gentleman, walking me to my door to make sure I made it inside safe. Call it nerves for the both of us or not ready to take the next step, we always found each other giving soft kisses on each other's cheeks. 
We never gave us a label, unsure of what to call us, but we both understood how much we had cared for one another. He was constantly on my mind and I knew I had been on his because he would call me whenever he could; wasn’t that often but when he did, my heart would flutter. 
Bucky had taken over walking me home from my shift from the diner some nights, Steve still doing so every once in a while. He promised Bucky while he was gone that he would look after me, even if some of the men we walked past on our way home were twice his size. 
Even if he was smaller than most men, Steve never let that stop him from standing up to the bullies. 
The T.V in the background played a soft tune of a commercial, showing men everywhere what they could do to help out during the current war that was going on. 
“Steve Rogers. Don’t even think about it,” I warned with a pointed finger. 
“I have to do something, Y/N.” Steve sighed. 
We had this conversation almost daily. He wanted to go fight the war overseas but with his medical history, there was no way they would take him. 
“You can do something. Stay here and stay alive,” I spoke. 
Steve knew when to stop the argument, knowing that he wouldn’t get me to see his side. I understood that he wanted to stand up to the bullies in Germany but I couldn’t bear to see him get hurt because his asthma alone would stop him. 
We sat in silence for a long while, watching the random show on television, and I could tell it was getting late, the sunset had casted the room in a glow a while ago. Now the bright moon light was now brushing across my bare skin of my ankles, my dress pants riding up a tad as I sat cross legged on the couch. 
Hearing a knock on the door, I quickly grabbed the bowl of candy and opened the door with a plastered smile on my face. 
“Trick or treat, doll!” 
Bucky leaned against the wall next to the door with his arms crossed over his chest. He had a playful smirk pulling at his lips. 
“You’re back!” I exclaimed, dropping the bowl of candy to my feet and walking into his now open arms. 
“We got back into town about an hour ago. I had to come see my best girl.” 
Bucky’s arm engulfed around me, his scent pulling me in. Teakwood was never my favorite smell but the way he wore it made my stomach flutter to my heart. It was the mint that made me completely swoon over him. 
We parted slowly, Bucky keeping me in his arms, and with a soft touch he moved a loose strand from my face. 
“You cut your hair,” he noticed. 
I nodded. “Just a few inches.” 
“I like it,” Bucky mused. 
Our gazes locked intensely and I could feel myself being pulled in closer to his plump lips. They were a light pink and looked so soft. This invisible vortex had wrapped around us like a ribbon, tangling us together, and while I stood on the tip of my toes I almost leaned into him. 
“Hey, Buck. Oh fuck, am I interrupting?” 
Bucky and I both pulled away from one another and I shook my head at Steve. 
“Watch your language, Rogers.” I mocked threatened. 
“How’ve you been, punk?” Bucky pulled him into him, squeezing his shoulder. 
They followed me back into my apartment while I tried to calm the heat that was engulfing me from getting caught for almost kissing Bucky. 
“Good, jerk. Y/N has been keeping me on my toes the past month.” 
I scoffed loudly, falling back onto the couch. “I have not! All we’ve done is eat junk food and watch television.” 
Each guy sat on either side of me and I cuddled closer into Bucky’s chest. His arm immediately wrapped around me, fingers drawing circles on my bare shoulders from my tank top. We all sat for a short time, enjoying the time together. These two men had become the most important people in my life in only a few months and I realized that if neither of them was around, it would instantly put a damper on my mood. 
An unattractive yawn fell from my lips and with a shrug from Bucky, he motioned to my bedroom. 
“You should get some sleep, doll.” 
I hugged him tighter. “But you just got back.” 
He chuckled and ran a kiss on the top of my head. “I’m not going anywhere this time, I promise.” 
I looked up into his eyes and weighed the decision in my mind for a quick moment. Steve must have felt the tension between us so he stood from the couch, telling Bucky he would meet him outside. 
“Night Stevie!” I called over my shoulder to him. 
Bucky and I were staring at one another again and he rolled his lip over his bottom lip. Biting my own, I swallowed whatever fears I had and pressed our lips together. They molded together for a moment and I pulled away, looking deep into Bucky’s eyes. He darted from mine to my lips a few times and suddenly attacked my lips once more; this time deeper and more passionate. My hands ran through his hair, messing up his perfectly combed back locks, while his hand perfectly cupped my cheek. 
Our tongues danced with each other for a few more beats before we reluctantly pulled away, Bucky resting our foreheads together. 
“Wow,” I breathed, my voice coming out of the horse. 
“I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile now,” Bucky admitted. 
I giggled and placed another quick kiss on Bucky’s lips. 
“I should go. Steve’s waiting for me,” Bucky noted. 
“Come over tomorrow?” I asked hopefull. 
“Wouldn’t want to waste another minute without you, doll.” 
63 notes · View notes
mads-weasley · a month ago
Love & War Masterlist
40s!Bucky x Medic!Reader
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Love and War Spotify Playlist
Summary: When she volunteered as a combat nurse in the war, (y/n) (y/l/n) did not think that she’d end up working with the Howling Commandos. Most of all, she definitely didn’t expect to fall as hard as she did for a sweet brunette from Brooklyn.
New Beginnings: A young girl travels overseas to help her country during the Second World War.
Introductions: An excited (y/n) meets the Howling Commandos and one particular conversation sparks something within her.
Moonlight: The day after (y/n) joins the team, they are given a mission integral to the Allied victory, giving her the opportunity to become closer to the other Commandos.
Coming Soon!
Tag List:
@confusednerd09 @ahahafudge @bluemoon-icecream @lunamadhatter99 @thatfangirl42 @fionanovasleftnut @friendly-letters @youcanstandundermyamberella @caritobbg @marvel-ous-miss-maisie @fitzfiles @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @jo-ha-nna @pastel-boy-sungjae @ginger-swag-rapunzel @simp-for-bucky @ceo-of-daichi @tylard-blog1 @quinnmaddie @cxddlyash
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mads-weasley · a month ago
Love & War
Pt. 1: New Beginnings
1940s!Bucky x Medic!Reader
Series Masterlist
A/N: This is going to be a series about the Howling Commandos during WWII! It’s going to be slightly anon because we don’t know much about their different missions. I’m such a sucker for 40s Bucky! Sadly, I do not own any of these wonderful characters except (y/n). Bucky isn’t in this chapter btw, but it’s important for the rest of the series. I hope you like it!
Summary: When she volunteered as a combat medic in the war, (y/n) (y/l/n) did not think that she’d end up working with the Howling Commandos. Most of all, she definitely didn’t think she would fall as hard as she did for a sweet brunette from Brooklyn.
Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of blood, gunshots, World War II, mentions of death, descriptions of injuries.
(y/n) - your name
(y/l/n) - your last name
(y/n/n) - your nickname
(y/h/c) - your hair color
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As (y/n) is packing her small bag for overseas, she can’t help but feel excited and terrified at the same time. Since the attack on Pearl Harbor, she wanted to do her part for her country, so when she got the opportunity, she took it.
“Why do you have to go, (y/n)? There are plenty of other girls who are nurses.” Her best friend, Allie, asks.
Taking a deep breath, she speaks passionately. “Well, Alls, if not me, who? I’m sick and tired of sitting on my butt at home knowing I could help so many people over there!”
“You could work in the factories like the other women! They’re doing their part! You could so do that!”
“No! I want to save people, Allie! I can’t do that here.” Her voice softens to just above a whisper, tears welling in her eyes. “Please, I don’t want to fight during my last day here.”
Allie walks up to her and envelopes her into a big bear hug that made both of them start crying. After many, “I’ll miss you’s,” the girls broke apart and went to have dinner. Being from North Carolina, (y/n) wanted to have some bbq as her last meal before she shipped out.
Laughing inside of Gary’s Diner, they drank milkshakes and reminisced from their childhoods. As both of them were about 25, they had a good bit of funny memories to share with each other, many involving the other. After stuffing their faces full of food, they walked arm in arm back to (y/n)’s house.
Looking at her watch, Allie sighs. “Less than 12 hours, (y/n/n). I’m going to miss you so much. Please, please, please be careful. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
Wrapping her arms around her friend, (y/n)’s voice betrays her by cracking before correcting itself. “I’ll miss you too. You know me, if I got hurt, I’d just patch myself up and I’d be fine.”
Seeing Allie’s lower lip tremble, she realized she should not have let that slip out of her mouth. Trying to backtrack, she sputters, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine! I’m not going to be on the front lines anyway. I’ll be far, far, far away from the front.”
The new nurse sends her friend a sweet smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. With one last hug, the duo says goodbye and (y/n) walks into her house. She gathers the last of her things and goes to bed thinking of all the things that could happen in Europe.
6 Months Later
Above the chaos of battle, bullets, and heavy artillery fire, “Medic!” Can be heard around the battlefield. A young woman with a bloodstained uniform runs to the man who called out. When she reaches him, she immediately sees the empty space where his forearm was supposed to be. Biting back the bile that rose in her throat, she shakily tried to sooth the soldier while giving him a shot of morphine.
“Hey, kid. What’s your name?”
“D-Desmond.” He replies with a pained sound.
“Well, hi there, Desmond. I’m (y/n) and you’re going to be just fine.”
She applies a tourniquet to his bicep and places gauze to the bloody stump of what used to be his arm. He cries out at the action, resulting in her apologizing for the pain it caused him. Quickly calling for a stretcher, she reassures him and moves on to the next man who needs her help, crouching to avoid the bullets flying above her head.
By the end of the day, her once spotless uniform was littered with dirt and blood. While in the field, she can’t let her emotions show, but when she is alone, she lets them flow freely. The death that surrounds the young woman is enough to break the strongest men, but she refuses to crack. The last place (y/n) thought she would be was on the front lines in France.
The place her unit, the 107th, is currently residing in is an old abandoned school. The classrooms are still intact, minus a few that were destroyed during different bombings. Normally, (y/n) would stay with her friend Betty, who was also a medic. Tonight was different though. She had lost more men today than she had in quite a while.
The Germans rolled out a new weapon that took out soldier after soldier, leaving them screaming in agony in the mud. Seeing this day in and day out took a toll on her, and she often isolated herself to deal with it. With a soft “Goodnight” to her friends, (y/n) found herself wandering the school to find a empty classroom where she could be alone.
When she finally finds one, she closes the door behind her and sinks to the floor, knees pulled up to her chest. Every time she closes her eyes, she just sees the men she couldn’t save; the ones begging her to save them. It becomes too much and she starts to sob quietly.
Suddenly, the door opens and an middle-aged burly man with a mustache walks in. The man looks familiar, but the absence of light in the room made it hard for her to make out his features. His eyes soften when he sees (y/n) against the wall.
“Hi there.” He says softly, bending down or her level.
Sniffling and looking up at him through her lashes, she replies. “Hi. I’m sorry. I’m such a mess. I’ll be ri-“
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Don’t worry. Everyone does this, even us men...You’re a medic right?”
She nods, her mind thinking back to the day. “I’m sorry if I couldn’t save someone you knew. I-I really tried, and th-there were ju-“
“Hold your horses. I watched you save so many men. Our squad has been needing a medic, and I think you’d be a great fit. What’s your name, kid?”
Head shooting up in confusion, she replies.“(y/n) (y/l/n), sir. What unit are you in?”
“Let me introduce myself. I’m Dum Dum Dugan, and my unit is the Howling Commandos.”
Tag List:
@confusednerd09 @ahahafudge @bluemoon-icecream @lunamadhatter99 @thatfangirl42 @fionanovasleftnut @youcanstandundermyamberella @friendly-letters @caritobbg
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marziwritesfic · a month ago
a pair of fools - b.b.
1940s Bucky Barnes x reader
Request by @canyonmoonnn:
hiii :)
can you please do a drabble where 1940s bucky and the reader have hidden their feelings for each other, but just before he needs to leave, they confess to eachother and he promises to give her the world when he returns.
Note: I started writing this and... oops, the drabble became an one-shot. I hope you still enjoy this, because I certainly loved the idea and writing this <3
WC: 1.6k
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You had met him when you were 16. When your family moved to Brooklyn because of your father’s new job, you never expected to enjoy the neighborhood that much. Right down the street, lived the Barnes family, they were kind and welcoming, and your mother liked them. So did you, and that’s why you always offered to accompany her when she visited them for coffee and cookies in the afternoon.
One day, coming back from the bakery with goods for your father’s birthday, the elder Barnes son - only a year older than you - crossed paths with you. It was the first time you two met alone, without any of your parents. James was just as charming and handsome as you expected - swooning over him in your wildest dreams. He helped you with the bags and walked you home, and the way he smiled at you before waving goodbye would be forever carved in your heart.
When the holiday season came around, your families would celebrate together - and it would be so for years and years - bringing you two even closer. It always made your stomach flutter when you got to see them, especially James. Always the sweet gentleman, complimenting you unexpectedly, offering help, and making small talk feel like the most interesting thing ever.
You got close to the Barnes girl, Rebecca. She was outgoing and friendly, and your parents encouraged the friendship - you needed to be around people of your age more. Visiting her was ever the best excuse to see her brother too, whom you admired in secret. In the rare and lucky encounters you two had in your street, he always made you smile and promised to take you on a walk through the city someday.
You’d always give the excuse that your father would never let you go alone with him, so the promises would never come true. You’d love to spend the day with him, get to know even more about him, but you were happy with the small conversations and little things you two had grown to share over the last years.
Of course, your father would never allow you to date before turning 18, even though your birthday was just a couple of months away. Not that you’d think that James looked at you like that, like the way you looked at him. He was very good-looking and had a natural charm that attracted ladies anywhere he went. He could pick any girl he ever wanted, why would he choose you? You knew he had other friends and that you were just the girl next door.
As the years passed, you two kept getting closer - your parents trusted James enough to let you go out on the weekends with the Barnes siblings and their friends, after promising you’d get home safe and at a respectful hour. Bucky showed you his favorite places in town, took you to where would become your favorite ice cream parlor, and when the circus arrived - just in time for your 19th birthday - he was eager to take you there too.
Your parents trusted him because they saw no threat from the young man, your families were pretty close after these years, they saw a friend in James. You saw more, you wished you could have more, but kept these feelings buried in your heart. If anything other than a friend, he probably saw you as a little sister.
Little did you know that his feelings were the purest, and his fondness for you was sincere. At first, you were the pretty girl that had just moved in, the neighbor who spent the holidays with his family and made it all so much more pleasant. Then, you became his sister’s best friend, and he enjoyed seeing you around his house so often. But when you started hanging out with him, his feelings were too strong to be mistaken for anything else. He adored you.
The first time he lied to your parents was on your 20th birthday, when he had asked them to take you out for lunch to celebrate with Rebecca. To your surprise, he had the whole day planned out - and there was no third wheel from his sister in his plans.
As the sun was setting and you two watched it walking through the park, he seemed nervous about something. With both hands in his pockets, he looked at your face for a while, then dropped his gaze to the ground. When he repeated it for the third time, you stopped walking and touched his arm.
“What’s going on, Bucky?” You had been enjoying the day with him, cherishing every moment and every little thing he did for you. The visit to the bookstore, to the ice cream parlor you adored, everything. But as the day passed and he got awkward about something you couldn’t figure out, you thought it was your fault. “You didn’t have to take me out just for pity.”
His eyes widened, surprised by your words. “What? I didn’t… No, that’s not what this is.” You watched as he sighed and fidgeted with something he had taken out of his pockets. “I just have so much I wish I could tell you, I don’t wanna make a fool of myself.”
You chuckled at his unusual insecurity. “A fool? You don’t need to open your mouth for that.” You playfully teased him and scrunched your nose. He thought it was the most adorable thing in this world. It eased his worries, giving him the courage to open up about whatever troubled him.
“Darling, you’re something else.” He started, making your brows furrow slightly. But before you asked what he meant, he continued. “I’m going to miss you like crazy.” His words only puzzled you even more.
“Miss me? And why’s that?” You put one hand on your hip, leaning your head slightly to the side. Something in the way he looked at you made your heart jump almost painfully in your chest.
“I’m going overseas. The war, you know.” He looked down at his hands, still fumbling with something in his fingers. “In two days. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t have the guts until now.”
Your heart sank. You remembered the day he joined the military, all proud. Everyone in both of your families was proud too, even you, despite the worry that weighted painfully. That feeling had been almost forgotten, until this very moment. “You… you can’t leave.” You mumbled, feeling stupid for it right after the words escaped your mouth.
He gulped, guilty for making you feel that way. He saw in your face the pain he shared in his chest. Bucky parted his lips a few times, before finally saying something. “I can’t leave without telling you the truth.” He stepped closer to you.
Your surprised eyes met his gaze, heavy with anticipation for something you couldn’t put a name on. “The truth about what?” You managed to ask.
“About how I feel. About what I see when I look at you. About how I never thought I’d have to part ways from you, ever since you came into my life.” His hand grazed your face with such delicacy that you felt you would melt under his touch. “I’m only telling you this now because I might never get the chance again. And I would never forgive myself if I’d never let you know that I love you.”
His words stole the breath from your lungs. Tears prickled in your eyes against your will, your lips parting to let out a whispered “wow”. He didn’t make a fool of himself, you thought, not for a second. But still, you were the one who felt like one.
“And you’re telling me this before you leave for the war. God, this is cruel.” You chuckled, a single tear rolling down your cheek. “I love you too, silly. I’ve been in love with you all this time.”
He took in your confession and opened a gorgeous grin. “Guess that makes us a pair of fools, doesn’t it?” You nodded, and he licked his lips before leaning in to give you a chaste kiss. It was filled with passion, nonetheless.
His hands grabbed your own, and he put something between them. As he pulled away just slightly, you looked down to check what it could be. A golden delicate chain with a heart locket for a pendant. You opened it to find a photo of him inside. A low gasp escaped your lips, and he caught you for another kiss - a deeper one this time.
Before pulling away, Bucky made sure to leave many kisses all over your face. On your cheeks, over your eyes, on your nose, on your chin. He showered you with love. For a moment, everything was alright. Everything was perfect and you wanted that moment to last forever. Then you turned around for him to put the necklace on you, and he placed another kiss on your neck, sending shivers all over your body.
“Darling, I’ll come back for you. I promise. And to make up for the lost time, I’ll give you the world.” He whispered in your ear, clear enough for you to remember every word, as he wrapped both arms around your waist, hugging you from behind.
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