a poem about stillness.
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Will I ever possess the softness I pretend to have?
— Fray Narte
Gif from: Stealing Beauty (1996) // Dir. Bernardo Bertolucci
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Respect = Love
"You were right. I'm not strong, neither am i brave. But I'm braver than you right now, because I'm ready for this to be finally over. Please stop toying with my feelings. Either kiss me, or break my hea-"
"Can you hear yourself right now?" He simply said. I was flabbergasted! How could he!
Before I could react, he strode towards me until we're inches apart and he smiled at me before he kissed my forehead.
"You never told me where so I kissed your forehead instead. I respect you, Cassandra, I really do. Respect is greater than love and before you ask, respect can come before love."
"So there's a chance?"
He didn't reply, instead, he kissed me on my forehead again, this time it's longer than the first then he left me standing there, speechless.
11.6.2023 | G.C.
Italized prompt by @urfriendlywriter
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Winter-Long
Winter's cold is curled
like a lick beneath
underneath the beating heart.
Like a hand of a stranger on my shoulder.
Your name is the white breath
I realease
from trembling lips. It escapes
from me and into the dense air
that carries cold with a purpose.
Loss is a constant companion,
it doesn't fade with time.
I watch it shiver outside
under the burden
of heavy snow.
What does it know of warmth?
I let it slip inside,
and sit by the fire.
but little by little it
takes over. It creeps below,
leaves my body damp and aching,
swamped by run-away thoughts
of you. And cold settles
like a tickle in the lungs.
© SoulReserve 2023
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midwinter acacias drown inside
me you say please bury yourself
in the snow
as poets salivate after [your] beauty
on a leash with lines from gimmicky
postcolonial love poems
oblivious
to their firmaments
within:
delete my words all you [want] but
you won't be able to decimate that
stinging temptation
that makes you pull
the strings of your dreamhouse abyss:
you recoil because you crave control
absolute control
if someone comes
close
you retreat to your lavish hut: in your
abode aching to be held by someone
telling yourself:
we all hide behind screens and touch
ourselves when [we] push others away
lonely mirrors
after all
like stale gunpowder
passion is dour when you can't fathom
your inside: rattles like the last sip from
salt water yearning:
i finish pages
but no one
bothers to read them: least of all you
why do i recall your [gaze] at midnight
when the ceiling pastes
your voice onto
everything literally
everything
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I remember being told I must arrive at my sacred space. Only I will know when and where I am supposed to be. That those I meet along my journey there will teach me great things. That my only mission is to become who I'm supposed to be. I was born for this mission. With love, I was nurtured on this path. I've had many firsts here. I've taken many wins and losses. Ten years ago, I learned how to walk into rooms confidently. Smile on my face, head up, shoulder back, walking confidently in my stride. Twenty years ago, I learned how to capture the hearts of those I encountered. Allowing honesty to set my pace, having a mix of kindness escape my lips, and open intellect to express my thoughts while positive vibrations set my vibe. Thirty years ago, I learned how to embrace and release all that I experienced. Operating in divine feminine nature, intuned with my emotions, led by a God's spirit, and blessed with ancient wisdom and intuition - I became human. And I'm beyond delighted to continue learning in this place...This beautiful place.
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Sad is my favorite color
If it's you,
Your eyes
Ugly like mine.
Alex Delorme
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Farewell
Untie your hands, love, use your feet
Let go of my waist, dance to your own beat
It will be clear, if only you'd wipe away your tears
For your happiness, I'd go and face my fears
The wind in my sails, we're at your stop
Promise me I'll at least be in your map.
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Maybe I should have gone to you
In January, when the cold
Rang in the earth’s bones-
Shaking,
Shaking
Shaking you unsteady
Your heart heavy
Your mind ready
To unravel.
Yes, maybe I should have gone to you-
Even if you would have gone away,
Anyway.
J. K. L
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Your first love breaks your heart.
Your first situationship breaks your brain.
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for @nosebleedclub's april prompts.
1. as good as you'll get
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my heart flutters like moth wings, once caught flightless on ice cold fire
it’s forever looking for the kiss of the flames,
the softest, kindest, slowest way of dying
so that i may rest in a chest that’s not my own — yours,
would you leave flowers on my tomb, once more?
virginal white jasmines, if you remember —
the color and predisposition of a ghost.
would you kiss my resting ground, softening under torrential poems?
would you say a made-up prayer?
(my lover, who art in heaven)
would you love me again if death is my rebirth, my second coming,
how angels weep right next to me, how they break over my sorrows — pathetic bodies made of light,
but they never burn, they never crash like fading embers.
my heart’s still caught on ice cold fire, it flutters, wingless
i arch in my quiet aching, godless, limbless — i’m sorry i’m made this way.
in heaven, god fucked up for the first time twenty five years ago,
he can take me back tomorrow for all i care
but would you pick me, take me back and kiss me, bathe me in biblical oil
(even if it kills me once more?) if i promise not to die once more?
— fray narte, "going insane in october" | written november 1, 2023, 5:11 PM
photo screencapped from: saltburn (2023) // dir. emerald fennell
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Useless.
She danced privately to
the moon in her room,
hoping she'll do it
to some man one day.
He talked to the sun
in his room, hoping
he'll do it to some
woman one day.
Two persons, longing
for the same thing, yet
too shy to even find for
that special connection.
All because of doubts and
useless fears.
10.29.2023 | G.C.
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Perfume
You become a sound
that slowly leaches from my body
into air
with the softness of breath,
a quiet keening,
an undertone of heartache
I've always felt.
You release from wrinkles,
from birthmarks I have known and carried.
From freckles that darken in the sun.
You unsettle from the folds of my clothes
my hair my eyes
like a memory—washed dried and fading
fluttering outside on clothes lines.
You aren't gone
although you are dissipating leaving
in more ways than one.
The perfume of you
is still damp on poems
I write with tears.
© SoulReserve 2023
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it's your [space] you keep me out
how could you not: you want the
world
to matter to you you want life and
also don't want it: you want it and
don't want it
when you know
everything you say
you don't
know yourself: juggling house of cards:
often i find myself writing the [same]
things over and over
when other poets run thin
with nausea and give up i scribble till
i reach the bones: with all the laughs
and phone glares
you wouldn't understand when you're
sick of being you [you] leap into the
abyss: that prefect
dreamhouse abyss
with scales like our dragon: something
is burning no one comes to douse the
flames
with someone else you verify yourself:
god! i can't think of something flowery
allegorical
when i write like this: whatever this
crude asinine fuming something is:
or
nothing
it's going nowhere i think everyone has
everything figured out: [how to] breathe
and taste and
with whom to
share their beds
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Poisoning the Well
anger
suppressed
misdirected
out of proportion
I can't help
but feel
every minor
irritation
is a plot
against me
struggling
with
unrealistic
self-expectations
I often wonder
if this is what
is poisoning
the well
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