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#10th april
tattoosandswag · 2 years
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I haven’t done an update in weeks and then you’re getting one on two consecutive days - aren’t you guys lucky! (I’m joking; I’m fully aware hardly anyone pays attention to my online rambling about the shenanigans of my life.)
If any of you have been following me for a while, you’ll know that last year I went through a breakup that, to me, came out the blue. It took me a very long while to get over and has left me with some emotional scars that are still affecting me to this day. Now, I’m in a new relationship and I’d say things are somewhat steady - albeit it has been rocky at times.
So anyway, let me get straight to the point.
This evening, thanks to the joyous gift that is social media, I discovered that my ex boyfriend actually broke up with me ‘out the blue’ to start dating a girl he works with. A girl who, on ample occasions, he would moan about and criticise for being poor at her job.
It’s taken me a couple of hours to get my head around and I’m mostly just angry: if he had been honest with me from the start then it would have saved me a lot of sleepless nights wondering what went wrong and why I wasn’t good enough. I genuinely didn’t think he’d do that to me but I guess it just goes to show that you never really know another person.
So, in a nutshell, FU.
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bts-apocalypse-au · 10 months
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Jin's P.O.V 🐻 10th April
It's 9:00. My students file in one by one, each greeting me with big smiles and a "Good morning Mr. Kim!"
I smile at each of them, they really are my family. It's my mission as a teacher to prepare them to succeed in life and I take my mission to my very heart.
Our day goes like this:
Students arrive and put belongings away 10 minutes
Morning meeting where we talk about pretty much anything the children want to and sing educational songs. 15 minutes
Mathematics (addition, subtraction) 20 minutes
Writing where students learn grammar, write, and share stories. 20 minutes
We go on a very short nature walk to the park across the street where we eat lunch and I let the children run around, if it's raining we stay inside and play board, card or clapping games. 45 minutes
Arts and Crafts 30 minutes
Story and Snack time, I read to the children while they eat snack 15 minutes
Transition, if it's nice we can go to the school's play-yard and play, if not, I let the children play inside. When everybody that comes from other places for my after school class arrives we go back inside and begin English and maths lessons.
*** time skip ***
"Alright everyone, thank you for sharing your stories. They were all very good. Now you all know what time it is."
"Time to eat lunch!" My students answer, running to their cubbies.
As I wait for them to return with their lunches my phone buzzes in my pocket, I wouldn't normally check it but it's a breaking news notification.
"Outbreak of a strange disease at the City Zoo, animals gone rabid, vets and scientists stumped!"
I put my phone away sighing, the news is always exaggerating things besides I don't have any zoo trips planned so we'll be fine. The students have all gathered their lunches and we head outside as usual. The sun is bright and the sky is clear, a perfect day.
"What's that tree called?" Soobin asks me, he's tall for his age and barely reaches up to touch a low hanging branch on the tree beside us.
"It's a pine." I tell him, he nods, picking a fallen pine needle off the ground.
"Can I have one too?" Huening Kai asks, he's the youngest in the class but he's still almost as tall as Soobin.
"Sure Ning Ning, just take one off the ground so you don't hurt the tree."
"Okay" he says and bends down to look around for a good pine needle. Dissatisfied, he stands up again.
"Here," Soobin says, "You can have mine, I'll find another one."
"Thank you Binnie hyung!" He says taking the pine needle and carefully tucking it into the pocket of his overalls.
When we get to the park everyone helps spread out the blanket and we sit down under a big shady tree. After they eat their lunch the children go to play. I sigh to myself, I love teaching but I wish I had my own children too. The loud siren of an ambulance jars me from my daydreams. The children are still playing happily. Some game that involves rolling in the grass.
"Careful Beomgyu!" I shout to the boy who's about to be knocked off his feet by a rolling Yeonjun. He turns just in time to jump over the other boy.
Taehyun laughs. "That looks fun!" He waits at the bottom of the hill and just as Yeonjun gets too close, he jumps. Thankfully he makes it, feet landing firmly on the grass behind Yeonjun . . . this time. I picture the numerous ways that could go wrong. Falling, falling on eachother, that was still too close for my liking.
"Boys! Find another game!" I shout so they can hear me.
"Aww, but we won't get hurt." Taehyun says, helping up a dizzy Yeonjun
"No, you can keep rolling down the hill but if I see any of you doing it again you'll be sitting on the blanket with me."
"But-"
"Kang Taehyun."
He recognizes the threat in my voice and stops rolling down the hill. "Okay."
I hear a rustling above me, I look up to see two squirrels. They're wrestling. I've seen squirrels chase each other, but never this. They bite and claw, making horrible noises I didn't think squirrels could make. I watch until one of the squirrels falls dead at my feet, a bloody gash marking its torso. A shiver runs through me. I turn, terrified for some reason that there will be more dead squirrels in place of my class. Instead the boys and girls from my class laugh with each other, picking some weeds that they found. For some reason I have a feeling that something terrible is going to happen and I want them to be as far from it as possible. It's almost time to go back anyway, the children won't notice a difference of a few minutes.
"Children! Come on, it's time to go, get your lunches." I call. They obey, but I spot Lisa trying to shove the weeds she collected into her lunch box, her mother won't be happy about that.
"Remember everyone! Nature stays in nature."
I see out of the corner of my eye Lisa putting down the weeds in defeat.
When we get back inside everything begins again as normal. I don't know why I was so worried before. Before I know it it's time for the after school, and for students who aren't already here to start arriving.
I send the children out to the fenced in play-yard while I clean up the classroom.
*** Time skip ***
Again everything goes as normal. My after school class was a huge success. We made great progress on maths and read a few books like Green Eggs and Ham by: Dr. Seuss in English together. Now it's time for the parents to start arriving, good thing too, because as much as I love my job I'm tired, and that worrying feeling is starting to come back again. Here at school I've been cut off from the news by my no phone rule. Maybe the parents will know something. No, if something big was happening they would've come and gotten their children already. I shouldn't, and won't bother them with this.
"Children, get you school bags . It's time to go home." I say in English, they stay in their seats a few seconds processing but then spring up and run to their cubbies. They still appear at full energy, but it's just the prospect of a warm bed after a long day that excites them. I can tell they're worn. After school is a good way to prepare them for a rigorous academic system but it's still a lot and they're still 7.
When they've got their school bags they come back to the rug, I'm in teacher Jin mode again.
"Alright, you can read, draw or play games until your parents get you."
"Yay! So excited to see appa and eomma!" Huening Kai cheers tiredly
"Yes, you'll see them very soon."
***
15 minutes into dismissal time no parents have arrived. Maybe they're just late, but how could all of the parents be late? Is something blocking the pickup lane? I look out the window, it's empty. The entire street is empty, there are parked cars, yes, but not a single person.
Ah, there must be a huge traffic jam, that must be it. I pull up the news app on my phone. The traffic update is live.
"Breaking news! Due to a rampage of rabid animals escaping the City Zoo all streets south of The Zoo have been closed. We recommend that you stay inside to avoid an encounter with these vicious beasts. They are believed to have a new strain of rabies and a bite would be deadly. They aren't responding to the Zoo keepers at all. Please for your safety stay inside until the matter is resolved. Well let you all know when it is safe again."
I can only stare out the window for a moment. I turn back to my children, their parents will come for them when it is safe but for now, I must keep them safe. I check the time: 7:00 they need dinner.
"Okay everyone, your parents are going to be a bit late today. They said that I can make you dinner."
"Ooh dinner. I'm sooo hungry!" Jisoo cheers
"But when is eomma coming?" Yeonjun asks
"Soon," I say looking into his sad little face, "soon I promise."
"Look, Mr. Kim, I drew a picture of you!" Huening Kai says waving a sheet of copy paper over his head. He holds it more steady and I can see that it's a bear with a pointer that looks like the one on my desk pointing to a chalkboard. It's labelled "The best teacher Mr. Kim" in sloppy crayon. I feel a tear forming in my eye and turn toward the cupboard so he can't see the tears.
"Do you like it." He asks hopefully
"I love it." I say sincerely.
"Now push your desks together, it's time for dinner! Yeonjun get the art mat and put it over the tables when they're together
The children get to work and so do I.
Our dinner is far from gourmet but it's something. Instant ramyeon, with juice boxes and fruit.
As I'm about to click on a traffic update another breaking news announcement takes over my screen.
Aish, I try to find the "x" button to exit but there isn't one.
The newscaster begins talking, it's strange. He looks dishevelled unlike the usual neat appearance of news broadcasters. "This is an emergency news broadcast, please stop what you're doing and pay attention."
I turn back to my children, they aren't paying attention. I fish my ear buds out of my pocket and turn them on.
The newscaster continues. "There has been a sudden surge of animal attacks and it appears that all the city's wild animals have suddenly gone rabid. We suspect that more than 100 casualties have already been sustained. Several power grids and other things like gas and water lines and water filtration systems have gone down as well. Oh and . . ." He turns as a crew member whispers something to him, implying he doesn't have a script. "This is just in, officials are recommending you either get ready to stay put in your homes and or offices for a while or you leave Seoul immediately!"
Suddenly the newscast ends, 3 seconds later the lights cut off plunging us into darkness.
The children start to scream.
"It's alright, we're alright." I try to think of a reason to tell them why the lights are out. "It's because . . . we're going to eat under the stars tonight."
"Ooh."
"Yay"
The news said it isn't safe to go outside so I pull out the bg battery powered constellation projector and turn it on, fishing out the glow-sticks I'd been saving in the closet.
I crack the glow sticks and hand them to the children while I set up the projector. We eat our under the stars as I tell them about the constellations.
"Mr. Kim, where's Eomma? I want Eomma!" Taehyun sobs, soon others join him. The room is filled with cries for parents and grandparents and brothers and sisters.
I can't bear to lie to them when they're looking at me like this. "I don't know . . ."
"But" Soobin says, I can tell he's trying to stay calm for his younger classmates, "Mr. Kim, you're our teacher. How can you not now?"
My heart breaks, I'm the adult here, they look up to me. I have failed them by not knowing anything or being able to tell them anything useful. I must not fail them anymore.
"Something . . . big is happening outside right now, I think." I speak slowly, choosing my words very carefully so as not to frighten the young children. Several of them run to the windows, "Your parents are just as confused as I am. But yes Soobin, I am your teacher and it is my job to keep you safe. For now this classroom is safe so we'll stay here until we know more and your parents come for you."
After that there isn't much left to do so I push the two small reading couches together and gather as many futons as I can, some of them will have to share but they're small so it's alright.
I manage to find some tooth brushes in an emergency kit and I pass them around. Once everyone is done we settle down. Even after 10 minutes I don't hear anybody settling into sleep.
"Mr. Kim" says a quiet voice. Huening Kai.
"Yes, Ning Ning?"
"Mr. Kim, I'm scared, I always have a light at home."
"Oh hmm well that might disturb the other children . . "
"It's okay, I can't sleep either." says Beomgyu
"Well in that case. We can all sleep under the stars." I say turning on the projector again.
"Can you read to us, Mr. Kim?" asks Lisa
"Of course." I open the first book I can find and begin to read, "You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own and you know what you know. You are the person who'll decide where to go . . ."
One by one breaths settle out into the evenness of sleep and soon I'm the only one awake. Then I'm asleep too.
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fuzzysparrow · 2 years
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one-time-i-dreamt · 1 year
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The Tumblr boyfriend was real and was NOT okay. That man had experienced the Horrors.
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I like to imagine Simeon carries a small pair of glasses in his pocket that he wears in Christopher Peugeot mode.
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wow-its-me · 3 months
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Nobody:
Me : cries over platonic soulmates
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jamalambbamm · 11 months
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hey what if tango was the merman
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secundus-cinaedus · 1 year
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working collection of memes that keep me on track
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great-and-small · 1 year
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Please look at this tiny baby gopher tortoise that came in for a shell repair. He got chewed on by a dog but the owner did a great job of getting this little one medical attention asap. He was about the size of a lime.
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useramor · 1 year
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something something buck doesn't like being coddled because he doesn't want to feel like a burden something something he lets eddie take care of him because he trusts that eddie really doesn't mind because buck never minds taking care of him something something it's rotten work something something not to me not if it's you
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Debbie Harry by Allan Tannenbaum, New York, 1978.
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Alice in Chains - Got Me Wrong
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bts-apocalypse-au · 10 months
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Jimin's P.O.V 🐥 10th April
The halls off Asan Medical Centre are just as hot as the wards, the heat engulfs the whole building. It's amazing that a human body can reach such temperatures. That's what's heating the building, the fevered bodies of hundreds of men, women, and children. It started a week ago, people started coming in with cases of the flu, the worst symptoms I've ever seen. It's a good thing we just put all those new HYBE flu vaccines in, but I guess since we haven't managed to vaccinate everybody it wasn't enough. The heat is stifling and my face is sweating under my mask. I have to get out. I don't know where I should go but anywhere is better than here. I turn a corner quickly, then retreat back, it's my boss, talking to the hospital director.
The director places a hand on my boss's shoulder. "Yeah. Listen, you're doing a good job. Just get those vaccines out, we need to curb this before it gets bad."
My boss, Mr. Lee, frowns, "You mean worse."
"Well yes."
"Are you sure the vaccines are safe, I mean, have they even been tested at all? There are plenty of other vaccines that we know for a fact work. Surely that better than using something that's fresh out of the lab, something that hasn't even been test–"
The director shrugs and holds up a hand to stop the younger man's words, "Look, why does this have to be so hard for you? They are paying US!."
"But–" He turns, they must have sensed someone eavesdropping. I run before they can catch me. This doesn't make sense.
I hurry down the stairs until I find the exit and don't stop. Why would HYBE pay hospitals to use their products, that's only going to lose them potential profit, billions.
I stop finally out of breath, and yank off my mask inhaling the cool April air. Sighing I start walking a lap around the park's circular trail. Part of me wants to forget everything I heard, the rest of me knows that I can't. Someone bumps into me.
"Ah, Sorry." He says
"No it's alright" I say to the young man, he looks quite distressed himself. "Are you looking for some peace and quiet as well?"
"Yeah, where are you coming from?" He asks me.
I exhale "Asan Medical Centre. It's cram-fucking-packed with flu patinets today. Fevers so high you can almost feel the heat." He looks at me surprised. "I'm doing my surgical residency." I clarify, "You?"
"I'm an inte- He stops himself. "I work at Seoul News Group. You've probably never heard of it."
He's right but I'm curious. "No I haven't, but I'll check it out. What name should I look for?"
He looks confused again. "What?"
"Your name? You're a writer right?"
"Yes, my name is Kim Taehyung." He sighs.
He looks like he needs a friend right now, "So Tae, what did you come here to get away from?"
He gazes past me, as if trying to decide something. "I have to make a decision," he says carefully. "If I do it will be good for my bank account but it may not be good for me."
I'm so stressed right now that I just say the first thing I can think of. "Well just trust yourself." I try to smile, should I take my own advice?
Suddenly he breaks the silence "Hey, you're a doctor. Do you know anything about HYBE's new flu vaccine?"
Now it's my turn to be surprised. "What! How do you know about that?"
"Well I am a reporter. Have they started distributing the vaccines yet" He asks, he seems like he knows what he's talking about. I probably can't tell him anymore than he knows already. Or can I? I think of what I heard, whatever's going on, if I can't investigate it at least someone should.
"Yes" I say honestly, "and maybe just in time to curb this year's season. They started giving them out just before this whole thing got bad. The crazy thing though is that I heard the hospital director saying that instead of making the hospitals pay for the vaccines they were actually paying all hospitals who used their overs anyone else's billions of won. Buying out the market. Sketchy but I have to say that I've seen worse from big pharma."
He nods, looking grateful. "Thank you, you really have no idea how much you've helped me."
I tell him the truth again "Of course, this should be investigated. Good luck. I should probably be going now. Bye"
******************** TIME SKIP ********************
The cool breeze turned night chill –usually hated but tonight welcomed with open arms– is the greatest relief after a day in the sauna-like climate of the hospital. I'm well aware that I should probably be wearing a coat if I don't want to catch a cold. But right now, I just don't care, maybe I'll call in sick tomorrow anyway. I need a break from everything. I need to decided what to do, if anything, with what I've learned
My apartment is a welcome haven. I wash my hands and take out leftovers from the fridge. I can think about everything tomorrow, but for now, my dramas are waiting for me. Just as I've gotten comfortable a news cycle takes over the screen.
I try to click off but it won't go.
The man on screen starts to speak, he looks out of breath, "This is an emergency news broadcast, please stop what you're doing and pay attention."
I obey and turn up the volume.
"There has been a sudden surge of animal attacks and it appears that all the cities wild animals have suddenly gone rabid. We suspect that more than 100 casualties have already been sustained. Several power grids and other things like gas and water lines and water filtration systems have gone down as well. Oh and" He turns as a crew member whispers something to him, implying he doesn't have a script. "This just in officials are recommending you either get ready to stay put in your homes and or offices for a while or you leave Seoul immediately!"
The screen goes black and the lights follow. Our grid must have just gone down too.
I don't know what to do, I feel faint. Before I can stop it my knees are buckling out from under me. I feel myself hitting the floor but nothing else.
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killachuckychuck · 25 days
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April 10th can’t come soon enough
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one-time-i-dreamt · 1 year
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I went to a deli at a mall but the deli worker would just keep making jokes and not giving me my food, and it culminated in us playing cards over my food. Also, there was a such thing as a 17 dollar bill, and the cards had an extra card called a god.
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reminders of the passage of time moodeboard
#my blog is in his last year of middle school. he'll be off to high school next year (at least I think so..? 13 yrs old is usually 8th grade#at least from my experience. 9th graders are usually 14. 10th are 15. etc. etc. and then you're in 12th grade#and graduate high school usually 17yrs old.) ANYWAY.. wow he is so ancient..#maybe he's still in a preteeny early teen emo phase or something.. I hope he gets some black and white striped armwarmers and black eyeline#r for his birthday. Maybe an MP3 player of course. Though because I don't really like most alternative music and he is my son he's actually#not allowed to listen to metal or pop punk or emo rock whatever stuff. I open the mp3 player and pre-stock it with only#disco and funk and classical music. he can have a little chiptune or techno stuff as a treat (sometimes emo adjacent maybe more#scene. I think a lot of scene kids were into that more.. emo's weird eccentric brother))#Also he starts taking iron pills his 13th birthday because he's probably incredibly anemic just like me#so on and so forth and et cetera (I'm just being silly.. I am not pro-controlling your children down to whatmusic they#listen to or etc.etc. lol)#THOUGH I love that it's in january... january is one of my favorite months if not my favorite. yeeaaay#just such a nice cool month. I like that it's the start of the year mostly and that it's sometimes snowy here. Like where I live nov - dec#isnt really actually snowy?? You always associate those winter Months with snow but I think snow happens later on this coast#so it's more like Jan - March or even april sometimes. Though that may just be climate change lol.. But it's cool that Jan is winter AND#ACTUALLY snowy. plus the Beginning Of Year vibes and energy.. hrm... nice nice.. ANYWAY#AND this is not even my first tumblr blog. I had a different one before it I think..#evviilll to be on one website for so long lol.. Very thankful that most websites I used to use as a 10 year old or whatever#are now defunct. There's something weird about how humans are just creating endless streams of words and pictures and all of this stuff#and it just goes out into the void and stays there long after the person themselves has forgotten it. not even like 'oh no what if i said#something bad!!' but more just the general sense of.. people create so much more ideas than they can actually hold in their heads. nobody#remembers exactly word for word every post they've ever made or etc. It's like parts of yourself that you've externalized and then fade awa#from you but they're still you but they're not so you just have little snapshots of yourself in time floating around entirely unbenknownst#to you. like making clones of yourself and then forgetting you did so but every once in a while going 'shit... there's clones out there..#of me and I don't even have track or awareness of them anymore.. what an odd concept..' etc. not EXACTLY like that ghbj..you know what I me#n.. or maybe you dont.. hrmm... ANYWAY#I am just now slightly recovering from my most recent mysterious illness spell and etc. so I would like to post more again and mAYBE even#do a costume if I'm being ambitious.. but after so many times of being randomly stricken by problems I'm now fearful of ever being too#hopeful lol.. always like 'I would like to go to the grocery store tomorrow! .... MAYBE.. if i CAN.. possibly... NOT getting my hopes up'.#etc. etc. etc. every statement has a caveat and a backup plan and so on and so forth and such is life.. anyway. happy birthday evil tumblr
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