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#....lets see how this post ages KEKW
demonboyhalo · 3 years
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BTW you can stop seeing my ABSURD amount of reblogs on your feed by filtering out #long post !!!!
so, bc i keep seeing hilarious tags/reblogs like these, here is my Official List of Bad Hot Takes on how "problematic" the DSMP is inspired by @/wooteena. I'm using this post to reblog in a future case where Twitter impossibly decides to have genuine discourse about any of these topics (lets hope i don't have to use my Prophet tag on this one gamers 🤞)
i custom made you for a very specific meme weeks ago but call upon you time and time again apollo DNI banner <3 hopefully you do your job
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enderspawn · 3 years
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dream smp asagao au, aka the very specific high school au
also aka the post thats very self indulgent for me and maybe 3 other people.
in short: its a dsmp high school au based on the game asagao academy, where everyone is part of a gaming club and compete against one another in tournaments. more in depth info about the AU/Asagao itself, as well as more info about the plot and roles of the AU itself.
Asagao Academy Basics
So to start, let’s cover the basics: what is Asagao Academy. ….well, an old Youtuber dating sim game (which, despite unfortunately including some fairly questionable CCs, IS still really good and well written and I recommend it) But what is it for AU purposes?
Asagao Academy is a highly elite world-wide boarding school set in Japan for those who are either rich enough to afford it, or those skilled enough to get scholarships. Within the game, there are two main clubs: Normal Boots and Hidden Block. They’re both gaming clubs, and joining is seen as super exclusive since they’re ALSO the most popular people in the school.
The two clubs compete with each other in various tournament events with specific categories. For example: Satch (from NB) and Jimmy (from HB) both compete in the “Tech and Invention” category, where they have to create/invent something related to gaming and have it judged at the event like a science fair. Meanwhile, Jared (from NB) and Wallid (from HB) both compete in “Dance” aka DDR and the person with the highest score wins.
The other categories featured in game include: Puzzle games (like Bejeweled or Tetris), Video Game Trivia, Pinball, Retro Platformers, a three-person fighting game, and 100% completion speedruns. So tldr; the categories can be kind of fiddled with and be whatever you want them to be, because even the original ones are pretty wack.
Also, there’s no rules against competing in multiple categories— in fact, most of the HB members in game do! It’s more about balancing time and practicing for them alongside school and other activities.
The winner of the competition is the team/competitor(s) with the most total wins.
Another thing to note: despite competing as clubs, they’re all actually pretty good friends. It’s all lighthearted and fun in the end, hell the leader of the opposing club even helps the main character join the main club just because he wants a decent challenge.
Speaking of… the main character! Hana Mizuno! I don’t have any current plans to include her in this AU (a la new dating routes), but I wanted to mention her for a few reasons.
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For the main reason: her hair. Even as soon as she shows up, Mai (her best friend and roommate, who can break the 4th wall) immediately calls her out for her hair for looking like a main character which as we learn… isn’t an exaggeration. She’s literally a born protagonist, thus being born with naturally pink hair and a tragic backstory. Not only that, but other people are also born protagonists with pink hair as well— she isn’t an exception.
About the AU -- Revolution Era
A few things to note: in this au, when I first drafted it I… wasn’t looking to include 20+ people. I cut a lot of characters, but instead working with the idea that they’re still THERE, they just… don’t compete? Either they aren’t in the club and are just friends with the members, or they’re members who just don’t compete professionally. It’s nothing personal against those CCs and tbh as times goes they may get added more, but for now they’re just in the BG vibin.
It covers a really basic retelling of s1 for most of the planned au. It starts with One Club: the Dream Team. Members include: Dream (sophomore), Sapnap (sophomore), George (junior), Wilbur (junior), Eret (junior), and Fundy (freshman).
For reasons, possibly just as a goof or spite towards their American counterparts, Wilbur declares independence from the Dream Team and makes his OWN gaming club: L’Manberg. He takes Eret (a close friend from his grade) and Fundy (the freshman he immediately adopted) with him, causing the two teams to be 3v3.
But Wilbur’s got a dastardly surprise up his sleeve: TOMMY, HIS YOUNGER BROTHER (bc I am nothing if not a dedicated crimebros stan), AND TUBBO. They’re both too young to actually attend Asagao yet, but theres no age rules in the actual competitions so its fair play. They’re Wilbur’s secret weapon. After all, a 5v3 where the team with the most wins wins the competition? That’s a massive advantage.
… we all know how this goes though don’t we. Wilbur’s day be so fine, then BOOM, Eret betrayal 😔
In this case Eret feels it’s a LITTLE unfair to blindside them like that, plus Dream promised to make him the Leader of the Dream Team and, yknow, that kind of stuff DOES look good on resumes, so…
TLDR; Eret rejoins the Dream Team crew, as well as informing them of Wilbur’s plan with including Tommy and Tubbo and becomes leader. They’re still letting Dream and Co. basically actually do the leading, they don’t care that much, the title is just nice. L’Manberg cusses her out and promises to hold a grudge, but it’s all in good fun. After all, they’re just teens goofing around and playing. The clubs are again 4v4.
Dream tells the L’Manberg club that they can separate, sure… under one condition. They have to win the competition. If they lose, they have to rejoin the Dream Team club.
L’Manberg accepts, but come competition day… they lose. Tommy outright challenges Dream post awards to a speedrun competition for L’Manberg instead. …which Dream professionally competes in, and Tommy DOESN’T.
He loses, but he puts up a good fight despite having little to no actual practice put in, so Dream “grants” L’Manberg their “Independence”. (In this au, instead of being like… weirdly obsessive over Tommy, it’s a lot more “he sees himself in Tommy and wants to support/mentor him” and a “friendly rivalry” kind of deal bc its a damn HIGH SCHOOL AU)
So L’Manberg can be it’s own club! …Next year, when Tommy and Tubbo actually attend, since Wilbur and Fundy aren’t allowed a two person club.
About the AU -- Election Era
SO time skip! Congrats, everything up to now has been BACKSTORY. It’s now the next school year, with two main clubs (I’ve tried to keep them fairly balanced, which is why not all CCs are featured, sorry!)
Dream Team club:
Dream - junior
George - senior
Sapnap - junior
Eret - senior
Punz - junior
BBH - senior
Awesamdude - junior
Ponk - junior
L’Manberg club:
Wilbur - senior
Tommy - freshman
Tubbo - freshman
Fundy - sophomore
Schlatt - senior
Quackity - junior
Niki - sophomore
Jack - sophomore
(Also fun fact! Their grades are loosely based on the CCs actual ages! …Except Fundy, who got Baby-fied to fit the “Wilbur’s Kid” joke, and Eret bc it fit better to be the same age as Wilbur I thought. Oops HEKANDNSN)
So, for whatever Reason (listen this was an au I made in like one night when plagued with brainrot, it’s not all figured out), L’Manberg holds an election. Maybe it’s related to Wilbur wanting L’Manberg to be meaningfully different from Dream Team, maybe it’s a joke, idk!
…. SOMEHOW, Schlatt wins. Which ticks off Wilbur a lot. It’s his damn club, and the whole point was to avoid Americans, tf?? The two start to feud a lot and it threatens to split the club entirely via ppl taking sides. Worse, it means people aren’t practicing for the competition.
All while this is happening, there’s a new intrigue building. Dream catches word of an infamous player in the area, someone known to win entire competitions against teams of people all by HIMSELF. A man with bright bubblegum pink hair called Technoblade. That’s right, literal universe-assigned protagonist Techno. If Dream could enlist him, there’s no doubt in hell they’d be able to beat L’Manberg.
L’Manberg hears of him too and works to try and enlist him as well, so he basically gets courted by both clubs trying to get him to play for them to mixed results. He’s pretty chill vibin by himself, so what’s in it for him? (….I don’t know, remember how this is a WIP au I worked on once?)
Eventually, a teacher named Phil (who’s been the honorary sponsor of the L’Manberg club) gets pissed at Schlatt and Wilbur’s fighting and bans both from competing (aka this AUs version of them dying). Which fucking SUCKS for L’Manberg. They’re now going 6v8 with a wildcard player who’s undeclared on which side he’ll join, if at all.
… honestly, that’s as far as I got. Theoretically, Techno joins L’Manberg to reflect Pogtopia and they win. I never had plans to go into s2 due to its darker theme, but there are definitely changes that could (and might?) be made for the s1 plot just so it flows better.
I already had to shift Wil and Schkatt’s “deaths” to fit, unless I were to have them LITERALLY make a new club. Maybe Schlatt uses his power as Club President to make them work with Dream Team (to the point it basically merges the clubs). Sure, they might be guaranteed to win now but it removes the competition and fun as well as the spirit of OG L’Manberg. So then Wilbur rebels and makes his own club AGAIN, calling it Pogtopia with the intent to get L’Manberg back. Then Techno, intrigued with this group of like 2-3 ppl going against a team of like 13ish people, decides to join them. Idk! Alternative possible plot based more closely on s1 I guess!
I’m gonna add a list of characters in full with their age, their club, and what they compete in (if it’s already brainstormed, most ppl are unknown) below
Character List
dream (DT) - junior - speedrunning
george (DT) - senior - coding/tech and invention
sapnap (DT)- junior -
eret (DT) - senior -
wilbur (LM) - senior - rhythm game/guitar hero-esque
tommy (LM) - freshman - (possibly pick up speed running during election arc?)
tubbo (LM) - freshman - chess
fundy (LM) - sophomore - coding/tech and invention
schlatt (LM) - senior - he never actually declares what he plans to play and then gets banned anyway, aka no game kekw
quackity (LM)- junior - dance
niki (LM) - sophomore -
jack (LM) - sophomore-
punz (DT) - junior -
bbh (DT) - senior -
awesamdude (DT) - junior -
ponk (DT) - junior
technoblade (SOLO) - junior - multiple categories
FINAL BIT
here’s some scraps for ppl who know Asagao already as well as small bits I didn’t bother to write up any further
- Karl, much like Mai, is ALSO aware of the 4th wall and has time travel powers because of it.
- Purpled (undecided if he’s a solo player like Techno or has his own team he competes with that’s not a formal club) plays Literally Bedwars in competitions
- Callahan is the Dream Team club sponsor, Phil is L’Manberg’s club sponsor
- Karlnapity is real and canon bc I say so
- both for balance/laziness, every person only competes in one category. also bc it makes Techno that much more Protagonist-y that he does
- I made this AU in like February man idk I’m just vibin
- Fuck I never even included Ranboo huh
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amintyworld · 3 years
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fuck i didn't think this through i gotta get a new ao3 account for it before i can post it uh uh uh i am copy pasting the doc and praying
Ranboo Beloved was going to pass out.
It had been a VERY long evening at the gas station he worked at, and there were still another two hours left until he could go home. Groan. Taking the night shift truly was hell. He mumbled something about minimum wage groggily and grabbed a couple sodas to stuff in the fridge. As he stepped towards the back, he heard a sound from one of the aisles.
‘BANG!’
Ranboo jolted, then flipped around and ducked behind the aisle, dropping the sodas in his panic.
‘It's okay. I’m fine. I probably won’t die. Oh no what if I die. God, if I die, please look after Enderch-‘
“OI! BITCH! LITTLE HELP, HERE?”
He turned slowly into the area, making sure to grab a broom in case he needed self defense, only to see a boy, around his age, blond and covered head to toe in dirt, clutching an alarming amount of chips. “Grab a couple of these, would you.. What’s your name?”
“Oh! It’s.. um.. Ranboo!”
“Cool, now Ranboob, help me out with these crisps, would you?”
“That’s uh, not my name. Do you just want a cart?”
“NO! CARTS ARE FOR THE WEAK !! AND I AM A BIG MAN, I AM SIMPLY TOO POWERFUL FOR WEAK SHIT.”
“I- uh- yeah. Alright. Lemme just grab these and take em to the register..”
“No, Ranboob, you’re a fool. A fool and a coward and morally wrong. See, why would I buy them when I could do this magical little thing called stealing?”
“WHAT?? YOU CAN'T DO THAT,”
The kid (damn, Ranboo still needed to ask for his name) narrowed his eyes. “What, are you a pussy?”
“N- I’m not.. that, but I work here, so I can’t really let you steal.”
Realizing what this meant, the boy dropped the chips, but seemed to be sizing Ranboo up. He paused, then let out a sigh, reluctantly putting a few more back.
Ranboo took a look at the blonde. A real look, not just to be polite. He realized that his shirt was practically swallowing him whole, and his frame was alarmingly bony. Even his raggedy beanie looked too big on him. His blue eyes looked tired, like he hadn't slept in a week. Hmm. Ranboo relinquished the broom and stood up.
“What’s your name?” He asked, grabbing one of the chip packs back from the shelf.
“Tommy Careful Danger Kraken Detective Innit. But you can call me sir.
“What if I called you Tommy?”
“Hmm, tolerable.." the boy said with a half smile. He hopped off the ground where he was. "Alright, see you later, Boob Boy.”
“Boob- I. Okay. Alright-“
As he stuttered, the blonde (Tommy!) started to head out the front. As he passed the cash register, Ranboo hesitated.
“Wait!”
Tommy turned around to face him.
“Whatdayaneed?”
“Do you.. do you want a slushie? On the house?”
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Ranboo Beloved wasn't doing too bad.
It had been a few weeks since that night. He had gotten a raise for ‘preventing’ a shoplifting (little did his manager know), and he’d found a friend in Tommy. He supposed it was his first real one, since toddlers who were related to him didn’t really count. Sorry, Micheal. Speaking of said friend, he was due for a visit. It was about the time of night that he normally dropped by for a free slushie and a fun conversation.
The bell rang from the door across from him. Right on time.
“Tommy! Hey! The usual?”
Tommy entered with grandeur, but seemed to be holding the soor for someone.
"Not yet, big man. I’ve got someone I want you to meet! Tubbo, c’mon, would you? We don’t have all night here,” he yelled, seemingly giving up on holding the door and walking to the register. He grabbed a bar stool to sit on.
As he said it, Ranboo saw someone poke their head out from the door. It seemed to be a kid a bit shorter than Tommy, with choppy bangs that covered his eyes and ears. He slid around the entrance and perched on the stool right before Tommy could sit down.
“You son of a bitch!” Tubbo gave him a shit eating grin in response. “Ranboo, the complete ass right here is Tubbo, he wouldn’t know good manners if they hit him in the face,”
“Says the one who tried to rob my store the first time we met,” Ranboo quipped, quirking an eyebrow up at the blonde.
Tommy shot him a glare, but he was holding back a smile as he replied, “Listen, you bastard, it’s not my fault you have a very robbable store,”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Exactly what I said, your store is simply weak and easily robbed by big strong men such as myself,”
“Right, which is why I caught you and you immediately gave up,”
“I… you know, you haven’t introduced yourself to Tubbo-“
Ranboo smirked, knowing that he had won. “Hi Tubbo, I’m Ranboo,” he greeted, holding out a hand for the kid to shake.
Tubbo tilted his head at the hand being held up, and promptly chomped down with surprisingly sharp teeth.
“HOLY SH- SHOOT, OW?! DUDE!” Ranboo exclaimed, jerking his now bleeding hand back behind the counter.
“Tubbo, c’mon man, I thought we went over this..” Tommy sighed, glancing at the unhinged boy in question with exasperation. He shrugged in response, seeming to be guilty, but made no move to apologize or help Ranboo grab bandages.
Tommy scratched the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “Soooo, uh, how’s about those slushies, Big R?”
Ranboo sighed. Maybe he should’ve just let Tommy shoplift.
After wrapping his hand up, he grabbed two cups and filled one with Tommy’s usual: half cherry, half coke. When he got to the second, he spun around. “Hey Tubbo, what flavor do you want?’’
Tubbo looked caught off guard at being addressed. “..Surprise me.”
Ranboo grinned. He grabbed the cup, and filled it with his personal favorite: alternating layers of strawberry and lemon-lime. Then he bent over the counter and grabbed the secret ingredient in any good slushie, the tiny umbrella. He gingerly placed it, then popped straws in both of the drinks.
When he slid them to the boys, Tommy squinted at Tubbo’s. “How come Tubbo gets an umbrella? You never gave me one..”
"You never asked!" Ranboo teased, but he still grabbed another and plopped it in the icy mixture, much to the blonde's delight.
They chatted about whatever came to mind, with Tubbo occasionally adding a few words. (He seemed especially interested in hacking and explosions. Concerning, but Ranboo wasn't about to question it.)
After about an hour of goofing off, Tommy and Tubbo decided to say their goodbyes. Ranboo threw their now empty cups into the trash behind him, and they stood up, tidying the area and fixing the barstools. Tommy was the first to speak.
"See you later, Boob Boy! I'd thank you for the slushies, but it's you who should be grateful that you've gotten to spend the evening in my presence,"
Ranboo rolled his eyes, glad that he could tell when Tommy was just being dramatic. He really was grateful under all the fanfare. Probably.
"Yeah yeah, sure. Now get out of here before I have to report a slushie theft. It was nice meeting you, Tubbo."
Tubbo smiled at him, a real smile that didn't make Ranboo scared he was about to be bitten again, and headed out the door with Tommy following behind.
As they left, Ranboo realized that he still had another hour of his shift, and he hadn't even started with the sweeping. Crap.
—————————
"Tubbo, seriously! You could have blown our whole cover!"
Tommy was practically running to keep up with the smaller boy. After an excessively boring bus ride and a mile long hike, they had finally entered the forest. Now, they could talk about things that actually mattered without being seen.
"C'mon bossman, it was funny. Plus, what's the Ranboo guy gonna do? If he's really like you said, then we'll be fine,"
"I know, but STILL! You can't just go around biting people. What if someone else had come in?"
"Alright, alright, I hear you. I'll be more careful next time. How much longer do you wanna keep up the act?"
Tommy let out a sigh. "Not much longer. I think this is it, I really do. Ranboo's a good person, he can help us,"
"If you're sure."
Tommy simply smiled, ever so slightly. He was sure. He hadn't been sure about a human in a very long time, not since.. him. Hopefully Ranboo would be better. No, he would definitely be better. Yeah. For sure.
He didn't have any longer to ponder, though, since they had arrived.
Tubbo glanced back at him. "You ready?"
"Yeah."
With that, the two of them launched off the mossy ground and into the air, with shimmery wings sprouting from their backs. Finally. It was time to go home.
"I do have to admit, though, he makes a pretty good slushie. I liked the lemon lime."
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it's not the best but like i tried and ill probably do more for it, im excited for when wilbur shows up
AWWWE I love it!!!!
Poor Ranboo has no idea what’s coming kekw-
Also the lil Failed affectionate nip I-
🥺
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