#.・゜✭ . that never ending swaying haze ———— answered

[ghostsrevive]

FROM: @reaperdaughter RE: " let's order in some pizza, huh? " STATUS: accepting

steve was off somewhere with tony taking the time they'd never been able to while the avengers were saving the world. after thanos and after how close they'd come to losing each other ( multiple times, actually ) they'd finally gone on vacation. who would've guessed? not bucky. but, then, he hadn't been around either of them long enough to really produce that answer on his own.

what he did know was stark was more kind than he had any right to be considering what bucky had done to his family and steve? steve always held too tightly to the idea of saving the world. he wanted to show people he could do it. that he wasn't too weak. but, maybe that was the beauty of a relationship like that. his best friend didn't seem to have that same need from his teenage years. or, maybe it was a multitude of near-death experiences. bucky should ask when they came back.

that left sam with the shield and bucky feeling a weird void in his chest.

there was still penance to pay for his tenure as the winter soldier. he had a handler and a number of covert missions that would definitely piss steve off. he'd traded one collar for another. at least this time his mind was still in tact.

being alone with kelly was still a new concept; one he was terrified of without the buffer of tony and steve. the trauma left him with nightmares, cold sweats, and paranoia just for starters. bucky was terrified he'd black out and try to kill her without meaning to. yet, there they were, trying anyway.

" sure. what about... " his eyebrows press together when he remembered something about steve saying they'd torn down a number of old places they used to go. made sense considering how long it'd been. where did he eat pizza now? when he was alone in his apartment bucky, so far, only stuck to a few block radius in case something happened. " nevermind. i don't think that place is there. um, grab me something with pepperoni on it? "

#reaperdaughter #.・゜✭ . that never ending swaying haze ———— answered #.・゜✭ . we never move on ———— endgame #because iiiii don't have a fatws tag

[ghostsrevive]

kelly @reaperdaughter sent, [ HAIR ]:     while in the process of checking Kell for injuries or other signs of harm, Bucky gently brushes several strands of hair from her eyes.

there had been dreams while he was brainwashed. dreams he didn't understand. the only reason bucky knew that was because the longer he spent away from his handler and everything both hydra and the kgb put in his head the more came back to bite him in the ass. all the kills. all the missions. all the faces he used to help train back in the red room. sometimes they layered over one another in a weird kaleidoscope.

but, not steve.

and, not kelly.

although, her name had been much harder to remember than her voice. the soldier admits now, beneath the bright fluorescent lights, that he hadn't remembered her name until he pulled steve from the potomac. yet, he'd remembered the way she spoke her name and he remembered holding her in his arms in a crowded pub full of uniforms. worst of all, he remembered the way his heart skipped not one but two beats whenever that smile shined in his direction.

some deep part of him had always remembered the love.

flesh fingers graze over the high arch of her cheekbone. memories layer over real life with striking clarity. bucky allows himself to be proud for how well he'd held on to her image.

looking down, he notes with a small smirk that the name tag says barnes. had they been married? steve hadn't mentioned it, nor did he rememeber.

" you kept me alive, " bucky's voice is still gruff from lack of use. metal fingers come up, moving stray strands away from her face because he didn't want to lose the feel of her skin by using the other one. " you have no idea what i'm talking about but thank you, anyway. "

#reaperdaughter #.・゜✭ . that never ending swaying haze ———— answered #.・゜✭ . keep believing in heroes ———— main #inspired by 40s verse for this one

[ghostsrevive]

tony @olympianfate asked, " hey, how badly are you hurt? can you move? you think you can walk? “

there was so much going on that bucky was walking a dangerous line with his nightmares. barely been fighting a few minutes ( hours? ) and all the memories of his hydra days had him by the throat. the only thing keeping him together was the fact that most of the things he was facing had six arms. legs? appendages?

they didn't look human.

but, they moved fast as hell. after setting the small raccoon creature down and dodging yet another question about his arm, the soldier had been tackled to the ground. hot breath and dripping teeth has his neck straining for fresh air. as he fought, one of those appendages pinned down his own metal arm. there was a creak and then a crack. bucky wasn't sure if it was metal or bone.

there wasn't enough space for his rifle between them so he twisted his thigh just enough to reach for one of the many knives strapped to his body. the first strike went to the neck, where a human artery would be. no idea if the thing had the same anatomy but all his training was taking over. emotions slowly pushed to the side. he started slipping down into the dark place he went when everything got to be too much.

several more stabs eventually guaranteed his freedom. in it's pain, though, the thing swatted at his body and flung him across the battlefield.

" uh, " there were two suits in front of him. maybe three. hard to tell with them layering on top of one another. yet, the question instantly snaps bucky back to those days with his father. " yeah. " he was always okay. as far as everyone was concerned, especially steve, james barnes was always okay. nothing crossed his face except what was intended to be mild irritation. " thing's breath smells like week old leftovers but i'm fine. go check on steve. "

#olympianfate #.・゜✭ . that never ending swaying haze ———— answered #.・゜✭ . keep believing in heroes ———— main #you can decide which version of canon this lands in