#-> you just feel tired and broken and yucky. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-am-hoo-iyam · 1 year

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@restinsodaroni Yn got mot a flat tire and then their spare was flat and then they had a spare in their garage or workroom and then a front tire got stuck in a pothole and they spent ten minutes getting it out. They came in late and hurried to the daycare.

Sun was sitting in the middle of the floor wrapped in blankets with a bowl at his feet. “Yn! Wook at sunnyyyyy he sickkkkk!” The kids were concerned. “Oh gosh are you ok?” “I-I’m fine sunshine!” Sun did not look ok. He was shaking and curled in a little ball. The kids were being ing him blankets and Andy had left his computer unattended for 5 minutes to grab a coffee and use the bathroom ( he was not dead just minority concussed. Yn ( who’s supposed to represent the reader or asker right?)didn’t want to get fired). One of the kids was trying to play cartoons and had started a YouTube tutorial for how to repair a broken hammer on the big screen.

Yn shoed the kid out of the staff desk and grabbed a little plug chip. Sun saw it and started crawling away in fear. “Look do you wanna get better?” Sun stopped crawling away. Yn got sun leaned over the bowl and plugged the chip in and I’ll spare tue details util a now slightly green yn pulled the chip back out. “How can one robot eat so much non food items when I’m not looking? There you got the yucky stuff cleared out that YOU ATE!” “Well when a kid hands me a plastic cookie I have to eat it”. “Sigh. Now that your empty do you feel any better?” Sun was still shaking and his eyes seemed unfocused and far away. “Hmm?” “Aight. Parts and service time. Illl be the one doing the malware scan so you don’t have to worry about getting scrapped cuz I’d never ever do that”.

Yn picked up sun and lugged him parts and services while he whined and said “nooooo”. Yn set him down in the chair and put th e restraints on to help him stay jn the chair better. They plugged the computer into his head and did a scan. “Hot girls in YOUR area!” “Used vacuum only 30 dollars”. “Install our ad blocker now to only see add about upgrading our adblocker”. “Hot singles near you!” “Sun. What did you do this time?”

“I got an ad for a Tetris game and wanted to play it while streaming on the big screen so the kids could watch” “no that’s not it the systems say the Tetris game is safe”. “I also saw a funny cat video download link and wanted to show it to the kids. I never got the funny cat video tho it just said kit compatible.” “You couldn’t get a virus from that I scanned it and it’s clean plus it’s not a compatible file type for your systems. But please stop downloading random stuff off the internet”. “Ok…” “anything else”. “I saw this cute lady in a kitty costume and I thought I could hire her to entertain the kids in her cat costume!” Sun was completely oblivious. Yn facepalmed. “And there’s where it started. DONT hire a neko for the daycare, sun”. Yn cleared and restarted suns systems. If thhis didn’t work they have to factory reset and sun would forget them…

“Hi sunshine! Ho Ho Ho! Are you ready to have some fun?” “Heya sunny! How are you feeling?” “Oh hi! You must be a staff! You have a staff badge!” “No. No please. I didn’t reset everything. Just your downloads. Please remember. It’s me yn”. “Who? Oh I remember a yn! Their my best ever friend forever and ever. I wonder how they are doing!” “Sun, I’m yn! Do you recognize me?” “No I don’t but be patient. I take a minute to come online remember”. Yn fidgeted nervously. They waited. “Oh hi yn there you are I was wondering about you!” Sun and yn shared a hug. Gn was relived and thtey thought it was interesting seeing the process of suns systems slowly booting up again and their level of consciousness increasing from robotic to almost human.

Sun was all better. They headed back to the daycare. A cute little older lady with a cat ear hoodie and her grandkid in her lap was reading “101 astounding facts and tidbits about your furry kitty friends!” Andy wandered over. “She said sun hired her and the security staff said she paid to come and everything so I just let her in as she’s a paying guest”. Yn just stared at the ‘cat lady’ reading to the kids as a cat snoozed on her shoulder. “Hey look the cat lady arrived! “

#fnaf moon #fnaf superstar daycare #fnaf sun #sun x you

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prettysymbiosis · 9 months

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risk e. rat’s pizza and amusement center

the awkwardly long name (read: it’s always sunny in philadelphia) - both character and show meta incoming and I feel like that’s the first hint of the latter

am I the only one who keeps thinking risk e. rat’s pizza is the pizza for you and me…

“they make kids feel like they’re the ones in charge” - so interesting coming from mac mcdonald. soon followed up by “they were the first set of boobs I ever saw since my mom’s” which ties right into the burgeoning mommy issue thread

at the end of the day it’s all part of the fun!

just the gang singin’ in the car :)

dennis “that’s not my name” reynolds

how have I just NEVER noticed that dee is left-handed???

the broken water fountain - does it mean anything? I’m too tired to figure it out I need my tumblr brain trust

maybe mac being clean-shaven this season is to make him seem more boyish? I have a new theory for this every episode

I think I saw someone else say this but I do think it’s fitting that charlie and dennis are together on the titties storyline because of their shared baggage around childhood sexuality, like no one else in the gang would really be able to relate to dennis here and if charlie is figuring his shit out with that then he'll definitely serve as a parallel for dennis having to figure it out too

I like how they represent three different eras of risk e.’s (frank, gang, present day) to really explore changing values and how things getting softer can be bad in some ways but good in others. this episode definitely feels in keeping with lethal weapon 7 as a very sunny way of critiquing sunny that feels satisfyingly self-aware but also fairly true to form which is a pretty fine line to walk, to give credit to rcg and the rest of the creators

also if you haven’t seen the john oliver piece on chuck e. cheese go watch it because it provides so much context and crazy true history of these types of places that was definitely in my mind while watching this episode

dee and frank paired up again, and in a childhood place, probably ties into the dee parent-issues thing I hope they’re building up to

each character really tells on themself about what fucked up stuff they’ve come to believe is acceptable or even enjoyable but should be questioned:

frank - violence and verbal abuse toward children and everyone; sexually harassing women with impunity; calling people the r-slur

dee - ethnic humor, not racist humor; making her explain how it’s funny and realizing it’s not; ecologically irresponsible plastic cheese that gets immediately thrown away; dimwit duck or whatever his name was; not understanding what satire really is!!! ← they really took one of their biggest critiques head on

here’s a question I have about dee’s character - she tries to justify her problematic sense of humor and every time frank points out the truth behind it, illustrating what’s really awful about it without really meaning to, and dee seems to genuinely recoil like she doesn’t like that. does she feel bad and react that way because she doesn’t want to do harmful things, or just because she doesn’t want to be perceived as being un-pc because that’s what’s uncool now? like remember when charlie said “I think I might’ve called an old lady a cunt this morning” and looked kind of aghast at himself? could dee be developing more of a conscience too and if so, what does that say about her? or is she just a vehicle for rcg to navel-gaze about the show? also remember in lw7 how mac was like “if you don’t praise me for being a good person then why am I doing it?” I lie awake at night wondering how much rcg want to be better people vs. how much they don’t want to be kicked even further down the hollywood totem pole for being yucky. please share thoughts if you have any

mac - simulating real-world violence to get it out of his system; shame - “if you got no shame, you’re never gonna hate yourself enough to stop being bad”

dennis and charlie - being unprotected growing up; that’s what the bone’s for! (there’s nothing like a glenn and charlie riff btw); is it wrong because she’s underage?

sunny is really amping up the inner child work for the gang, I mean arguably the gang have always been childish but this season I feel like they’re exploring it in a more comprehensive way like via the setting of this episode. and it ALSO works as a perfect commentary on the show and we love the layers

there’s no adults around…

“cause we need monster representation” we need some representation for those who are freaky and fucked up okay??

I wish I could remember who said it but someone suggested that the de-breastifying of justine has to do with dennis’ heteroness disappearing and that is a very fun take - I do think it says something that they’re fixated on a very abstracted version of sexuality via these almost disembodied tits that aren’t even human… like are we overcompensating for something gentlemen? can the characters and the show itself have any relationship to women that doesn’t objectify or otherwise dehumanize them?

I for one think sam is supposed to look like a young mac, I saw some people questioning why they cast that kid and this is my theory. this is important for both the inner child and possible child-rearing stuff they’re bringing in

“hey man, I’m a licensed psychotherapist–” “you’re a talking dog”

“guys I hate to admit it but this place sucks now”; “that’s crazy, this was like one of the best bars in town, man”; “they could redeem themselves in the show” all very meta

“you cannot call a place a website” hahaha

“so that these kids can have the same experience that we had when we were younger” fucked up childhoods, the cycle of trauma, but also the show being how it used to be

and of course, an attempted revival of all that leading to immediate disaster. let’s move forward, not backward :)

#man I've had a hell of a week. really not feeling emotionally ready for the finale lol #sunny #always sunny #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #risk e. rat's pizza and amusement center #s16 #s16e6 #sunny meta #I didn't really like this one at first I felt like it didn't flow and was too self-conscious but it grew on me in the rewatch #still not a fave but it's both fun and has stuff to say so that's cool #I haven’t even watched bowling yet 😭 gonna go do that now god bless

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theforgottendaydreamer · 3 years

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going to bed with a headache and waking up with the same headache should be illegal.

#i had two headaches of the ''ice pick'' kind yesterday. one at dinner (scared the shit out of everyone bc my eyes just started closing on->#-> their own and my head hurt like a bitch) and one a couple of hours later. the shitty thing is that they last like two minutes and then->#-> you just feel tired and broken and yucky.#and now after 7h i still feel like that

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boydiisaster · 3 years

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Ok.. Here me out.. Imagine the Obey Me brothers in gym class.. 👉👈😔

the brothers in gym class

reader: gender neutral, no pronouns used

tw/cw: broken bones, cussing, killing and vomiting mentions

author's note: i had no idea if you were actually requesting or not but i got inspiration for some funny headcanons after reading this so i hope you enjoy!

lucifer

❥ ... What?

❥ When you ran up to him one day and asked if he'd join you in gym class, the look of confusion was priceless on his face. He looked at you like you just grew another head.

❥ "Please, Lucifer?" you begged, hands clasped together. "I know you don't have to take it but it's mandatory for the human exchange students and Solomon's not here today so I'm all alone with no friends."

❥ "Make some," he deadpanned and began to walk away.

❥ "What if some scary demon eats me?! I'll be all sweaty and tired and they'd just be able to feast on my gross, yucky flesh!"

❥ "Can't you do magic?" he looked back at you. "Just blast them with a spell Satan taught you."

❥ "What if it doesn't work?" you wail. "Lucifer, please?!"

❥ "Fine! Alright, I'll do it. But you have to clean the dirty laundry that comes out of this for both of us."

❥ "Deal!"

❥ Halfway through though Lucifer ended up having to take you to the hospital because you somehow ended up breaking your ankle trying to kick a ball, which was fine by you. You got out of school early, and it didn't matter much to you how.

❥ "That's it, I'm taking you out of gym class."

mammon

❥ Mammon likes running, so the man already takes gym class even though he doesn't have to and definitely probably can't afford to due to his deteriorating grades. However despite genuinely enjoying gym, he only comes when he feels like it. Lucky for him, you were here today; no Solomon in sight.

❥ You swear you see him drool while watching you out the corner of your eye when he walks in during the beginning run around the stadium.

❥ After you're done, you walk up to the demon, gasping for air while sweat trickles down your neck. "Mammon!" you breathe. "I didn't expect to see you here today! Perfect timing."

❥ Mammon really should have left when you said that, but he was too giddy because "Hehe MC sounds so happy to see me."

❥ Cut to the two of you doing one of the hardest work-out routines the coach has ever assigned you. Even Mammon was left panting and hunched over afterwards. You felt disgusting as sweat dripped from your forehead to the floor. You were burning up. You felt like you could cook an egg on your arm if you wanted.

❥ "Mammon," you gasp, barely standing up from how sore your legs currently were. "I'm skipping the rest of school."

❥ "Thank Diavolo," he sighs. "I was just about to ask you if you wanted to."

❥ "I get first shower."

❥ "That's not fair!"

leviathan

❥ He's literally only here because Lucifer's punishing him. That's the only reason. He resembles that purple-haired boy from that anime he showed you the other day by the way he's always hiding in the corner while everyone else does jumping jacks or push-ups. He wishes this class would end already so he could go home. He keeps watching the clock, waiting for it to turn 3. Sometimes though he turns around to check if you're still there before going back to sulking.

❥ Don't stare, don't stare don't stare, don't stare.

❥ He repeats that over and over again inside his head like a mantra, trying not to make it increasingly obvious how whipped he is for you in your work-out attire. It's just a little skin, it's fine! Bodies are natural. Stop being so weird, Leviathan, it's not like you consider your love interest showing a bit of skin as some sort of trust-filled bond and oh my god he just called you his love interest please someone kill him.

❥ The bell finally rings and the 3rd born sighs. "Finally...."

❥ The universe had other plans for him, however.

❥ "Levi! I'm gonna hit up the pool so I won't be home until later, you wanna come?" You smile as you dried yourself off with a towel.

❥ Absolutely not. "Of course!"

❥ This is the worst mistake of my entire pathetic life. "It'll be fun!"

❥ I want to die. "I can't wait!"

satan

❥ Despite the rumors circling around school that Satan is the embodiment of those stereotypical nerds in human realm movies, Satan actually likes gym class. Does he attend it like a regular, mandatory class? No, not on his life. Will he attend it specifically for you though and show off how athletic he is? Yes, of course he will. How dare you assume he wouldn't.

❥ Cue him talking about some nerdy physics shit while the two of you are currently being bombarded by rubber balls in a game of dodge ball.

❥ "For the love of everything holy Satan please pick up a ball!" You frantically shriek as one of those terrifying spheres of death comes whirling at your head, nearly missing you and slamming against the concrete wall behind you.

❥ ... Are those cracks in the wall where it hit?

❥ "Don't rush me, MC! I'm trying to think of a surefire way to win this," he hums and catches a ball aimed for his head with one hand. "We're outnumbered by," he counts the demons currently in front of him. "6, and we're at even more of a disadvantage because you're a human."

❥ "Gee, thanks." You duck as another ball comes at you. Where are they getting these things? Are they just pulling them out of thin air? That wouldn't be the weirdest thing you've seen a demon do.

❥ Ignoring you, Satan hurls the ball in his hand in a very specific way. You watch as it thwacks the nearest demon in the head, then continues to hit the rest of the demon's teammates until only one remains. By then the poor sucker is too confused as to what just happened to dodge the ball you throw at them. It hits them straight in the face and they fall back.

❥ "Oops," you cringe as you hear their head hit the floor. "Was I too rough...?"

❥ "I wish you'd hit me like that."

❥ "Excuse me?"

❥ "Nothing-"

asmodeus

❥ Him? Go to gym class? Sweetheart, did you fall and hit your head this morning?

❥ "Do I look like I'd be up to running around with a bunch of random strangers and sweating all over the place for an hour?"

❥ "No, but-"

❥ "That should explain my answer."

❥ "But my gym class is just swimming." You smile awkwardly. "I guess I should've told you that. Swimming isn't technically gym class...."

❥ Asmo stops filing his nails and looks up at you. His expression is hard to read, but you instantly know he's going to be joining you when he says "What time are you going?"

❥ "I was uncomfortable working out around demons I didn't know," you explain to your swimming partner as you dip your foot into the pool. The water is warm. You slowly lower yourself inside and sigh. "So I talked it up with Prince Diavolo and he said that I could workout outside of school and still get credits for it."

❥ "You should've asked if you could just not do gym," Asmodeus giggled as he dove in after you. "That's what I would've done."

❥ "I'm also a good student, Asmo," you tease the 5th born.

❥ "I'm a good student, too!" he huffs.

❥ "Aren't you the one who skipped school yesterday to go to the mall with Levi?" You smile and begin to swim to the other side of the pool.

❥ "They were opening a new coffee shop, MC, and I wanted to get something cute to post on Devilgram!" Asmo whines as he watches you get farther and farther away from him. "MC! Come back!"

beelzebub

❥ Beel takes gym regularly, just not RAD's gym. It's not equipped enough to handle Beel, and he really doesn't want to accidentally break what little equipment they already have, so it takes a lot of convincing from you to have him actually attend.

❥ By "a lot" I mean literally just promising to buy him food.

❥ "Can we get ice cream afterwards?"

❥ "Sure!"

❥ "I'm in."

❥ Do you know that Belphegor card where the story is just Beel making Belphie work out, and by the end Belphie is just a wreck and ends up hiding from Beel with you? Yeah, that's exactly what happens with you this time around, minus his twin.

❥ "MC?" Beel looks around, trying to find you behind all of the work out equipment in the RAD gymnasium. You're gasping for breath, you're surprised the 6th born can't just hear you.

❥ You try crawling towards the door like you're the victim in some suspenseful horror movie, but Beel easily catches you by the back of your shirt and picks you up like a little kitten.

❥ "MC."

❥ "Beel."

❥ "We need to finish this."

❥ You whine as he sits you down. "But I don't wanna. I'm tired and I probably stink and I need a long, hot shower."

❥ "I think you smell just fine."

❥ You plop down on the ground and groan loudly while looking up at the ceiling. "Sleepy. Too tired to walk. I'm gonna die here and become food for the mice."

❥ "Devildom mice need a much bigger food source than you to survive, MC."

❥ "I'm sorry, what?"

belphegor

❥ "No."

❥ "But-"

❥ "MC I'll kill you again if you finish that sentence."

❥ You pout and nudge the sleeping demon with your finger. All you wanted him to do was go to one gym class with you while Solomon wasn't there. "Belphie," you whine, "please? You still owe me a favor for taking the blame for you and Satan's prank last month."

❥ "The one where you had to restack every book on the bookcase we knocked over?" He opens one of his eyes and chuckles, remembering Lucifer's furious expression.

❥ "Yes. I still think that was less of a prank and more attempted murder." You cross your arms over your chest and raise an eyebrow at him.

❥ The Sloth Avatar just yawns and curls up again. "Whatever. Just don't go. Skip that class."

❥ "I would but I literally need to attend that class to graduate RAD," you frown. "Belphie come on!"

❥ "No. Sleepy. Come sleep with me."

❥ "You're always sle-"

❥ Belphegor quickly grabs your wrist and yanks you down beside him. He wraps his arms around you and entangled his legs with your own. His face finds your neck and he nuzzles into it before falling back asleep, entrapping you like a spider in its web. You'd struggle but you know Belphegor won't wake up anytime soon, so it was pointless.

❥ "Fine," you say, more to yourself than the sleeping demon beside (on top?) of you. "I'll skip that class. Only for you, though.

#please send in more potentially silly headcanon ideas i literally love writing the brothers getting into stupid shenanigans w/ mc #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me x gn!reader #obey me x gn reader #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me mammon #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me leviathan #bee's beehive #worker!bee

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amor-immortalem · 3 years

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An Alternate Path

Genre: Angst

A/N: Originally this was supposed to be a two-part mini fic but people asked about a part three. I wasn’t sure where else to exactly go from there since the end of the second part felt so final for me. But then, inspired by a comment on the 2nd part, I began to think about how it would have gone if Arella hadn’t been revived with Mammon’s blood. Think of this as the bad end to the AU. This is the final part.

obviously spoilers for the lesson 16 incident and for lesson 50 (i think… correct me if Im wrong)

Replaced part 1

The Good/True End

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He sits in his room starting at the dried blood on his hands, heart aching from the loss of his mate. It had only been mere hours since Barbatos had taken her body to prepare for funeral rites but to the Avatar of Greed, it had felt like centuries. Why? He’s asked himself this question over and over. Why didn’t you check on her sooner? Why didn’t you call or text? Why didn’t you notice? Why didn’t you feel something was wrong through your pact?

As much as he wants to, Mammon has no more tears left to cry. His human is gone, never to return and it was the fault of him and his brother. He should have been there sooner. Should have reminded her how much he cared. Should have done a lot of things. He had every opportunity to, but he squandered all of it.

He rakes his hands through his hair as they whys replay in his head. The demon doesn’t have an answer for them- none that would satisfy them, at least. He lets out a yell as grief turns to rage and nothing of value is spared from his violence. Items and trinkets knock from their shelves, furniture overturned, by time the second-born was done, his room looked like a war zone.

It’s only then that Mammon collapses to his knees and lets out a broken wail as he can hear the restless cawing of his crows outside.

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Levi is alone in his room, having shut himself away hours ago. Laying in his bathtub bed, the Avatar of Envy loses himself to his thoughts and the view of the water above him. He can’t help but think about what would have happened if he had put his foot down when Asmo approached him to recruit him in helping his little matchmaking plan for Melissa and Satan.

And then his thoughts focus in on the other human. If she had never come, if they had never welcomed her into their lives through the exchange programme... Arella would still be alive. She’d still be sitting here, playing video games and helping him decide which anime he should choose to watch when there was a conflict of time slots. They’d still be talking about their Husbandos and Waifus just as they always had. But she’s not here. She never will be anymore. All because he didn’t have the spine to act like the older brother and tell Asmo no. Because he allowed his younger brother to monopolize his time.

His best friend is gone and he was part of the problem that led up to that. Levi has never felt so much self-hatred before and, just like with Lilith, he doesn’t know how to come to terms with the loss of another person so dear to him. For now, he’ll just lay here and waste away like the filthy, yucky otaku he is, wishing there was a way he could go back and undo it all or hoping that this was all just some horrible nightmare that his brain has conjured up.

“She’ll be back in the morning... right? She’s just sleeping over at the castle, right?!”

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Beel just eats. He eats and eats and eats to make the pain go away but just like his endless hunger, the pain never stops. He feels so empty inside that the only other option is to gorge himself until he physically can’t hold it anymore and vomits before he goes back for more until the cycle repeats and he runs out of food. The loss of their favorite human is killing him now- the grief of it squeezing his heart like an anaconda.

If he would have just gone to invite her to that new café she had wanted to visit with him only an hour sooner, this could have been stopped. But he didn’t. He didn’t and that’s what cuts deepest. He should have noticed when she stopped coming to dinner, or skipping breakfast, or not joining the student council for lunch day after day. He should have realized something was wrong then. But he chose to ignore it, thinking it was just one of those ‘moods’ Arella had told him about human women experiencing at certain times of the month. He thought he was helping by giving her space these last few weeks but Beel knows now that he was dead wrong.

Who would be his food buddy now? Who would let him drag them all over town in order to try out restaurant after restaurant, café and café? Sure, he had Belphie to take with him but his younger twin never really showed the same excitement when it came to trying out all the different food and drink options on the menu. The demon doesn’t realize he’s crying until the tear drops hit his hands. She only needed one of them to take a moment to see her and none of them could be bothered do just that.

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Belphegor only wants to sleep. He wants to sleep and never wake up again. In his dreams is where Arella is, happy, smiling, laughing. That laugh will haunt his waking moments forever as he realizes that for the second time, the Avatar of Sloth has caused her death. Belphie was only one of two brothers who rejected Asmo when they asked him to help with that damn plan of his. It had been too long since he and Arella had napped together after school or plotted something with Satan as part of the Anti-Lucifer league. How he missed those days.

He can feel the tears pool in his eyes as he curls up into a ball on the bed in the attic. He wonders if he had just stayed up here forever instead of trying to trick Arella into setting him free, would this hole in his chest disappear? As he buries his face into the body pillow Arella had gifted him for his birthday this year, he cries himself to sleep- indulges himself in all the good memories they had made together after she had forgiven him for everything he had done to her.

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Asmodeus is lost. They stare and stare at their skincare products trying to will themself to start their nightly skincare routine. How could they have been so foolish? The passage of time is so different to humans than it is to demons. They had only meant to take a month to match Satan and Melissa up so how had it turned to eleven already?! The Avatar of Lust wants to scream. Both at themself and no one at all. Hot tears still sting their eyes as they shapeshift. They change and they change and they change forms- any number of features forming and then shifting away as they try to find a look that they won’t recognize themself in but it doesn’t work. Asmo’s not able to look themself in the mirror for the rest of the night as they just crash down on their bed. They want to mark up their beautiful body into some hideous to match the feelings crushing their heart. Asmo wants to do something- anything- to themself to experience even a fraction of the pain Arella must have felt but all the demon feels now is just hollowness.

Their phone is vibrating on the bed next to them- a call from Solomon. No doubt he could feel Asmo’s distress through the pact they share but the Avatar of Lust is too tired from hours of ugly crying and most certainly not in the mood to speak to anyone- pact master or otherwise. The phone goes unanswered.

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Satan has his head buried in the books. He’s been at this for hours- there must be a way to bring her back to them! Melissa is with him, bringing whatever books he asks for in his search as she too is eager to bring the lost human back to this plane of existence. There was so much they wanted to do with her. From watching cheesy mystery dramas together to forming a small book club consisting of just the three of them, none of that would come to pass now.

As book after book turns up dead ends, the demon just buries his head in his hands. It feels pointless now. Who was he to play God with life and death? The thought of never seeing his friend alive once more is enough to break the Avatar of Wrath as his shoulders shake with violent sobs. He wants to go on a rampage- destroy the whole city but what would that fix? It certainly wouldn’t bring her back.

As the demon continues to cry, Melissa only wraps her arms around him and he returns the gesture. She runs her fingers through his blonde hair in an effort to calm him and it seems to work, if only for a little while. She pulls a chair up to sit next to him as she holds his hand in hers.

“Tell me about your favorite memories with her,” They girl begins, “We can’t undo what was done, but we can keep her memory alive by sharing the good times.”

And so, they talk late into the night, Satan smiling at all the memories of Arella that he holds close to his heart.

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“Hi this is Arella! I’m sorry I can’t get to the phone right now but leave a message after the beep.... Beeeeeeeeeep”

The sound of his brother’s laughter followed by Mammon calling Arella a dork in the background can be heard at the end of the greeting on her D.D.D.’s voicemail. The Avatar of Pride can only smile with tear-stained cheeks. He was beyond intoxicated, having just finished his fourth bottle of demonus for the night. He can feel the anguish his brothers have been going through all night and it only makes his sorrow deeper.

When Arella first arrived, all Lucifer cared about was keeping her alive long enough to make it through the year. She was unimportant to him outside of the viability of the exchange programme. Back then, he would have laughed at himself for the state he was in currently. She was just a human. Why did it matter if she lived or died if it didn’t affect the exchange programme?

But she wasn’t just a human. She was their human. She was special to him. And now she was gone. There was no second chance. There would be no merging of timelines to keep her alive. Fate was cruel, but sometimes Diavolo could be crueler.

Lucifer knew his longtime friend had a reason for this. He was teaching the brothers a lesson with her death. As much as it hurt now to lose another part of this family, things would get easier as the years went on regardless of how horribly they all would miss her. This was a lesson he and his brothers would not soon forget.

Cracking open his fifth bottle of demonus, the first-born scrolls through devilgram, saving pictures on her profile to be used in the memorial service. One of Arella with each of his brothers and himself and multiple pictures she’d taken with all eight of them from their adventures throughout the years that they’d all been together.

He lets his mind wander back over the last eleven months. All the red flags he had missed with his rose-colored glasses. They all made sense to him now. All the time she spent isolating herself from them, skipping meals, leaving either incredibly early for school or incredibly late for school. She was trying to get them to notice her over Melissa. He regrets their last interaction from a few months back. The way there had clearly been something wrong, yet he chose to lecture her about attending RAD on time as to not disgrace Diavolo. How he wishes he could take it back.

As the only brother save for Belphegor not conscripted to help Asmo in his ridiculous plan, Lucifer should have been the first to reach out to her. He may have been buried under paperwork, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t just sit and talk while he worked. He regrets not calling or checking up on her.

A video plays on her devilgram. It was from one of the nights they had spent up in the human world last summer.

“Awww, come one, Lucifer. It won’t be that bad. We’ll have those flowers from the fairy rings and make it back in one piece. I promise to keep Mammon under control so we won’t cause any trouble.”

The Avatar of Pride clicks out of the app as he feels more tears gather in his eyes. He can’t do this right now. Not tonight.

------------------------------------------------------

Her service was beautiful- Or at least that’s what Lucifer tells Mammon as he and the rest of their brothers return home. Mammon wanted to go, he really did, but with it only being a few days removed from her death, the second-born couldn’t bring himself to go. It wasn’t because he didn’t love her or didn’t want to celebrate his mate’s life but it was still far too painful for him.

Part of him was still in denial over it too. Somehow, he’d managed to convince himself that she wasn’t gone. She was just stuck up in the human world and had forgotten her D.D.D here so he couldn’t call her. The logical side of him knew it wasn’t the case and every time he was reminded of it, it threw the Avatar of Greed into a deeper pit of despair. He’d spent some nights since she’d passed alone, crying himself to sleep begging for his human to come back to him others he would just lie awake, tracing over where her mark from their pact had been etched into his chest, set right over his heart.

Suddenly years have gone by now. His brothers have made peace with her passing but Mammon cannot. Visiting her grave never helps to ease the pain either, but still he goes. If Arella’s spirit still lingers, no doubt she would be upset if he didn’t go. It would only serve to prove her dying thoughts true when they couldn’t have been further from the truth.

“Hey, Treasure... Miss me?” There’s no one here but Mammon and a tombstone. “I miss you... everyday... So much changes every year... Both Asmo, Levi, ‘n Satan got kids now... little girls for them and Levi has a boy...” He pauses to take a shuddering breath as the cold wind blows. “Can ya believe it? The first kids born ta this family and their both girls and then we got a boy... sweet little things too- alla ‘em. I wish ya coulda been there ta meet them... Actually, looking at my brothers with their kids, it makes me wonder what ours woulda been like, ya know? And I wish none of this woulda happened... you deserved so much better than me ‘n I knew that. We all knew that. But ya chose me anyway and look where it got ya... Six feet under... If I could go back and do it all over again I would. I woulda told ya what was goin’ on. I woulda spent more time with ya. I woulda... woulda proposed... made sure you knew how much I loved ya everyday... I know ya probably can’t hear me, but I’m so sorry... for everything! I love you so much that I can’t move on and I won’t. If I die single then that’s fine by me.”

As he cries, thinking he’s alone, Arella watches from her seat on her tombstone. None of the brothers knew it but she’d been watching all this time. It wasn’t until she passed that she realized how deep their feelings ran and part of her wishes she would have waited just a bit longer before leaving for the human world that night.

She tries her best to let them know she’s there- that she loves them and is watching over them with Lilith, but she’s not strong enough to do more than move small objects around. She hopes that they’d notice but they never do.

As she hops off of her tombstone, Arella crouches down next to her mate. The best she can do for him is conjure a warm breeze as her spirit leans over to press a kiss that he’ll never feel to his cheek. Upon the breeze, he can hear a soft whisper of a reply.

“I love you too.”

And it's that reply that reassures him she’s there and she always will be. He hopes maybe in another life they’ll meet again and get to have the happy ending they never got to have in this one.

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taglist: @gayassfuckinghomosexual @joyvlee

find more on my masterlist

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demonsandco · 3 years

Note

Oooh for the NSFW one, 1 and 8 with Levi or "let me hear you"

Prompts : 1. for one muse to give the other oral and 8. to undress my muse

Pairing : Levi/GN reader (no mention of sex for reader)

Warnings : Top reader. monster dick Levi

Word count : 1.2k

Leviathan wasn’t sure how he got into this situation, pinned down in his tub with you on top of him, your knee pressed between his legs and your mouth on his neck, but he knew that there was nowhere else he’d rather be at the moment.

“This is getting in my way. Why don’t we take it off?” You whisper into his ear and nip at his lobe, as you slide your hands across his sides under his shirt. The shirt’s collar is much too high for your liking, blocking his torso from view. What better way to fix the issue than simply pull it off? Levi nods eagerly in response and arches his back to let you reach behind him and pull his shirt up. You make sure to slide your hands over every new inch of skin that you expose until you can take it off all together.

The moment he’s shirtless, you take him in, admiring how far down his chest his blush reaches. Your view is abruptly taken away by Levi bringing his arms up, as though trying to hide his face and chest from your view.

“D-don’t just stare at me!” Levi pouts while peaking out at you through his fingers, trying to gauge what you’re thinking.

You grab his arms with a tsk. “None of this now, Levi. I just wanted to admire you. Now be a good boy and keep your hands up above your head,” you intend for your last statement to be an order, but with how quickly his arms shoot up you doubt the pact even had a chance to take effect.

With his arms pinned and torso bared, it was clear for you to see how excited Levi already was from the way he squirmed, desperately trying to grind against your leg. You choose to ignore his movements for now in favor of teasing him further. Soft gasps and high pitched whines grace your ears, as you return to assaulting his neck and heading down to his chest with kisses and nips, leaving behind a trail in your wake.

It isn’t until Levi’s whimpers turn into shy pleading that you finally pull back and look at him. You had barely done anything to him so far, yet he already looked like a mess with his eyes glazed over and drool dripping down his chin. The weak wiggle of his hips as he searches for any sort of touch brings your focus back to your original goal: make Levi feel good.

You place your hands on his pecs and start sliding them down with your nails against his skin to draw more breathy noises from him. Stopping at the hem of his sweatpants, right above his very prominent bulge, you glance back up at his face.

“Help me get these off for you?” Before the words even finish leaving your mouth, Levi is already raising his hips, letting you pull his pants down past his hips.

You don’t waste time in getting them all the way off and toss the pants to the side where they join his earlier discarded shirt on the floor of his room. Now left in just his boxers Levi pleads at you with his eyes. His mouth hangs open as he sucks in a breath in anticipation for your touch. With how patient he’s been, you decide it’s about time to reward him and slide your hands up his thighs to cup his bulge. You can’t help but smirk at the large wet spot on his boxers before you lean down to press your tongue flat against his erect cock through the fabric and slip your fingers under the band, preparing to pull them down.

“W-Wait!” Levi looks like he suddenly remembered something important, “You can’t! I- it’s not- I’m not, you know… normal.. down there. You’ll think it’s weird!”

Curious, you continue pulling down his boxers and break eye contact with him to see what he meant by ‘not normal’, only to gasp in surprise. Instead of one cock, Levi has two. Both of them look painfully erect and shine wetly from the copious amount of precum leaking from them.

“See! I told you! It’s weird and gross! You probably think I’m nothing but a y-yucky pervert now-” Levi’s rambles are cut off by a sharp keen. While he was busy worrying, you’d taken the initiative to wrap your lips around the tip of one of his dicks and started sucking. Not wanting to leave the other one out, you wrap your hand around it and start stroking. He’s already dripping so much that your hand has no problem sliding over his skin. You take your mouth off of him briefly and blow on the tip to get his attention, causing a shiver to shoot up his spine.

“Levi, look at me. Let me hear you. Show me how good I’m making you feel.”

An embarrassed whine leaves his mouth, but he does as he’s told. Pathetic little noises leave his mouth and they get louder as you start working both his cocks. You slide your thumb over the tip of the one in your hand, earning yourself a squeal, as you work on taking the one in your mouth deeper. While working your tongue against the underside of it, you start humming softly while bobbing your head up and down. The mixed sensations from both his cocks bring Levi close to the edge alarmingly fast.

“S-so good… mn… I’m gonna- can I... ah… please let me-”

His words are slurred and interrupted by gasps and moans, but you understand what he needs. You pull off of his cock and start jerking them both off with your hands instead.

“Go for it, baby boy. Cum for me”

Now that he has permission to cum, Levi’s hips seem to gain a mind of their own. He thrusts up against your hands with increasing desperation. It only takes him a few thrusts to reach his peak, his hips stuttering and freezing in the air, as broken moans leave him before he cries out your name. His thighs quiver and twitch, as you stroke him through his orgasm. His cum spurts across his stomach and chest while you keep touching him, not stopping until he tries to twist his hips away with a pathetic whine.

Levi’s chest shudders as he pants for breath, but he looks just about ready to fall asleep, despite still the sweat sticking to his skin and the cum painted across his abdomen.

“I know you’re tired, but we need to get you cleaned up, Levi,” you prod at his sides gently, encouraging to sit up and lean against you.

“Could we… take a bath? Together, I mean…” He asks hesitantly while refusing to meet your gaze. You make sure to quickly agree before he can take your silence as a rejection.

“Perhaps then you can return the favor?” You offer teasingly.

Levi seems very keen to take you up on that offer, and it doesn’t take long for you to realise just how much stamina a demon can have.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me leviathan #smut prompts #lime time #its been years since i wrote an actual story hnn #ive never written smut before so i hope its ok!!#obey me smut

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persepholline · 3 years

Text

I've read that article about the romanticization of the Darkling and while I absolutely understand people who are pissed off/sad and I agree that it's shitty, I find LB's attitude towards Darkles stans very funny in a "girl what are you doing" sort of way because it's so petty like I've never heard of a bestselling author writing a portion of their fans into their books as a crazy cult before, it clearly hit a nerve

I'm new to the fandom but the feeling I get is she wrote something problematic ten years ago and became very embarrassed about it afterwards so she turned on the fans that liked it as a way to absolve herself. Especially since fandoms in general have become a lot more focused on discussion of what constitutes healthy/acceptable relationships to write about. And in a way I get it I had a huge Twilight phase in high school and afterwards I was super embarassed about it because of how problematic and cringe it was. But now with distance and more maturity I'm able to both still see why it was problematic and also why I was drawn to it (mostly the very unhinged representation of female desire) and like...it's really not the end of the world and no it never made me believe that breaking into somebody's room at night to watch them sleep was actually ok in real life lmao. This feels so obvious to me but apparently it needs to be said.

(More under the break this is turning into an essay, I've been thinking of this a lot recently)

And of course it's good to have these discussions about how historically romance tropes have echoed social dynamics of men's shitty behavior being romanticized and excused. But these days they often are so simplistic and focused on chasing clout that they become this weird new puritanism and moral panic about oh now women are reading novels it's going to make them hysterical or something

So you have these weird assumptions that you can't like a character and also be critical of their actions, or enjoy certain parts of a character and not others, or wish they were written differently and like them more for their potential (which I'm sure stings a bit for an author lol) - it assumes that if you like a character it means you would approve of their actions in real life, or that people just stupidly reproduce whatever they see on TV. That tendency to treat fictional characters like real people is the thing that actually worries me, to be honest, because it indicates a lack of distance and critical capacities regarding how stories are used and received. But people - fans and authors - are so scared of being called out as problematic and harassed for it that they're going to shy away from any nuance.

And yeah I think that it's good that standards of what constitutes an ideal relationship are evolving and becoming more feminist and communicative and all that and we definitely need more of that. But not all fiction has to be aspirational! Sometimes you just want to read about fucked up shit, because it's cathartic or fascinating, even healing at times because with fiction you are absolutely in control and can choose when to close the book. Toxic relationships in fiction can have an appeal specifically because they go to extremes of feeling that we don't want to go to in reality, in exactly the same way as horror movies or very violent action movies - which I don't see a lot of people besides fundamentalist Christians argue that they turn you into violent psychopaths (and that feels very obviously sexist). And for women, who are often taught growing up that love is the purpose of life, the "saving someone with your ability to love" can be a power fantasy in the same way that being a buff superhero who saves the day with their capacity for incredible violence can be a power fantasy for men. Still doesn't mean those women are going to fall in love with actual murderers or that those men are going to start beating up people at night. And love is scary, and weird, and weirdly close to horror at times, with all the potential for loss of self and being vulnerable and overwhelming feelings and potential for being horribly hurt and it should be possible for stories to explore that without anybody screaming about how this is going to Corrupt the Youth or something

And I mean I get it LB wanted to write a cautionary tale for teenagers, but it just did not work for reasons a lot of people have already written about - the fact that the Darkling is the leader of an oppressed minority and is the only one with a real political agenda to end that oppression in the first trilogy, the fact that he helps Alina come into her own power while her endgame LI is someone she keeps herself small for, that she's shamed for wanting power after growing up without any, a generally very wonky conception of privilege, and a lot of other stuff with yucky regressive implications to the point where stanning the villain actually feels liberating and empowering which is a surefire sign that the narrative is broken (unless it's a villain focused story lmao). But of course that Fanside article makes almost no mention of the political dynamics, it's all about interpersonal stuff which is an annoying trend in YA, there are those massive events happening in the background but it's made all about the feelings of the hero(ine) ; war as a self-development quest (which is kind of gross). Helnik is kind of an example of this too - I like them, I think they're fun ! But Matthias spends a big part of the story wanting to brutally murder Nina and her kind, and he mostly changes his mind because he finds her hot. Like you don't feel there is some sort of big revelation that his entire moral system and political framework is completely rotten ; it's all better because of feelings now.

As a teenager that kind of sanctimonious bullshit would have annoyed the hell out of me ; I read those books in my early twenties and I found the ending so stupid I wouldn't have trusted any message or life lessons coming from them. And I liked reading/watching dark stuff as a teenager, as a way to deal with the very intense inner turmoil I was dealing with - and I turned out fine ! Meanwhile I've seen several times women in very shitty relationships being obsessed with positive energies and stories ; they were so terrified of their life not being perfectly wholesome they ended up being delusional about their own situations.

Like personally I think the Darkling is a compelling, interesting, alluring character and also a manipulative, murderous piece of shit and that Alina should get to punish him (like in a sexy way) - but he's also the end result of centuries of war, oppression and trauma and reducing that to "toxic wounded boy" feels kind of offensive ngl ESPECIALLY since the books don't offer any kind of systemic analysis or response to oppression beyond "the bad guy should die" and "now the king/queen is a good guy our problems are solved!!!!"

In Lives of the Saints, we see how Yuri is abused extremely badly and almost killed by his father, and so when his father dies when the Fold swallows Novokribirsk, he thinks the Starless Saint has saved him. Later in KoS/RoW he's turned into this fanatic who explains away all the Darkling's crimes. The other followers talk about how the Starless Saint will bring equality for all men. Then the Darkling comes back and actually thinks his followers are pathetic, which feels again like a very pointed message to his IRL stans. Which is absolutely hilarious to me. Like oh no, if he was real he would not like you and think you're pathetic ! Yeah ...but he's not. Real. Damn right he would not like the fics where Alina puts him on a leash. I'm still going to read them. What is he going to do about it, jump out of the page ? Jfjfjjdhfgfjfj

Anyway I think the intended message is "assholes will use noble political causes for their own gain and to manipulate people" and "being abused/oppressed is not an excuse to behave badly." Which. Sure. But that's kind of like...a tired take, honestly ? A big number of villains nowadays are like this ; either they've been bullied as kids, or they're part of an oppressed group, or they have "good ideals but too extreme". This is not surprising because a lot of mainstream heroic narratives present clinging to the status quo as Good and change as chaotic and dangerous. And like sure in real life people often do bad shit because they're wounded and in danger. But if you want to do a story like that, you have to do it with nuance, talk about cycles of violence, about how society creates vulnerable people to be exploited, about how privilege gives you more choices and the luxury of morals, etc. The Grishaverse does not have this level of nuance (maybe in SoC a little bit but definitely not in TGT). So it kind of comes off as "trauma makes you evil" and "egalitarianism is dangerous" and "if you're abused/oppressed you're not allowed to fight back". And ignores the fact that historically, evil generally comes from unchecked privilege.

I guess my point is that there are many things I like about LB's writing, she knows how to create these really exciting character dynamics, and the world she has created is fascinating. But these stories are not a great starting point for imparting moral lessons. And her best characters tend to be, at least in canon, the morally grey ones. I hope one day she'll be at peace with the fact that she wrote the Darkling the way she did and leave his fans alone but in the meantime I'm just not going to take this whole thing seriously I'm sorry

#darklina #the darkling #alina starkov #aleksander morozova

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diplexchimera · 3 years

Text

Hey people considering college-

I have some tips for you. Now, take into consideration that I am technically a college drop-out (didn't have enough money for a second semester).

- my college required Freshman to be in a campus dorm. We got to select whether we preferred someone quiet, someone loud, or someone in between. In my experience, someone loud = an extrovert who will have many people visit them, someone quiet = a person who prefers to keep their room more private, and someone in between = a person who wants their roommate to be okay with a noisy room & people over, but also wants to be able to say they need quiet time (or they aren't sure what they want, but want neither a silent room or a busy room).

- if you have to eat from the cafeteria, that's okay. They tend to have a wider selection anyway but! I would suggest memorizing the breakfast/lunch/dinner availability hours. Some schools are very strict, and will lock the doors which = a skipped meal for you.

-I would also suggest getting the app 'MyPlate Calorie Tracker'. College meals will most likely be different than what you've eaten at home and school. The MyPlate app is pretty simple, and can help you make sure you're getting the right amount of food into yourself, as opposed to too much or too little. If I remember correctly, it also keeps track of how much protein and stuff your food is supplying you.

- sugars, fats, calories, and carbs are not bad for you. Your body requires them. Your brain literally will not function if you cut out any one of those items. Remember, you don't need to avoid being fat, you need work today being healthy. Your body will sort itself out (over time dude, give it time) if you supply it with the necessary nutrients and such.

- dude, vitamins. They can be expensive, but if you have insurance, ask your doctor how much of every vitamin you should be having. They can tell you, give you a list, and they can ask your insurance if vitamins are covered. If you can't get to a doctor, try to do research. Here is one from Harvard that I think is good, but you should always cross check things. Getting all the vitamins and minerals you need is exceedingly important. They help you go to sleep, stay asleep, and wake up, help your brain and body to function and adjust, help keep you feeling healthy and happy. If you feel tired and depressed, it can be really difficult to accomplish tasks and enjoy/ appreciate being alive.

- I would not suggest starting your year by completing assignments before the start date of said assignments. For one, doing assignments as they come helps you get a feel for a natural schedule. Another reason is because it helps to be in the moment, instead of too far ahead to be able to keep track of what's going on and when. Wait until you have a hang of how and where to research, and a firm idea of how much you can hold onto mentally, so you don't fail tests. You'll also likely feel guilty later on when you begin to struggle to stay ahead as assignments get longer and more difficult.

- yo if you can get a used textbook that comes as a three ring binder instead of a hard or soft back, do it. It's cheaper, and so much easier to handle and copy. Heck, you can even take the pages out of the section you're using and put them in a folder -- boom, no more 40lb back pack. Also makes more room in any bag you use for the essentials, which I'll list next.

- here are some backpack essentials:

• earbuds, Bluetooth if possible. It's okay to have more than one type of listening device. "I prefer headphones!" You say. You can't hide over-the-ear headphones if you end up in a classroom which doesn't allow something like that. Sometimes you're just having a sucky day, sometimes you need extra stimulation to concentrate, sometimes you want to spend your time listening to a podcast that explains the current subject better than your teacher does. Sometimes you want to watch a movie casually. Earbuds also take up MUCH less space.

• an extra charging cable for every portable device you use. Roll them up, and secure each one individually with cable ties or bread bag twist ties. I say extra, as in, keep your original cords in your dorm room and Don't Take Them out. Get a secondary cable and charger for each device, and let them live in your backpack.

• 3 or 4 different colors of pen. Multiple colors, for whatever reason you want-- easily scanned notes, for different subjects, etc. These can serve a variety of purposes, and you never know when you need them.

• 3 regular pencils, and a good hand sharpener or silent mechanical sharpener. 3 in case the other two get broken lead or happen to suck. Regular pencils can be finicky.

• 2 mechanical pencils. 2 in case one of them fails, runs out of lead, or the lead breaks up.

• decoy pens and pencils! Get as cheap or expensive as you want. At some point, someone is likely to ask for one, and you don't want someone else using your favorites. You also may not get them back, or they get broken. I would suggest a couple of each, as it may happen in more than one class. You don't have to have decoys, but that way, at least you don't have to choose between either feeling guilty for not loaning out the items you like, or being uncomfortable that you did have to loan one. If you loan the decoys out, and don't get any back, and someone asks you for a utensil later that day, you have both a convenient reason you don't have an extra you're willing to share, and you already put the minimum effort towards being prepared.

• Water! You're going to get so dang dehydrated! You're going to have full days, much of the time, from trekking across campus, to class time, to meal times, to study time, to hang out time -- you need to have water with you, as opposed to having to track it down, and possibly have to pay for a bottle of water. Hydration is a main component in bodily functionality and brain processes. I would suggest a minimum of a 30-ish ounce container of any sort. A plastic water bottle you refill, a thermos, a sippy cup, a hydro flask, a camp flask, whatever works for you.

• I would say snacks. If you're eating meals throughout the day, I guess they aren't "technically" essential, but can confidently say, they are useful. Snacks can be an energy boost, a brain function boost, a hunger soother, a friend-maker, or just plain stimulation. Cut up some apple slices, maybe grab some peanut butter, or a portion of nuts, or a tangerine, crackers, pretzels, chips, the choice is yours. It helps if you can get ahold of some of those cheap reusable silicone ziplock baggies. You can wash them to be used again, and you don't have to deal with carrying plastic trash around with you.

• a pair of socks. I know that sounds weird, but it doesn't take up much space, and weird stuff happens. They get wet, or it's hot and your feet get sweaty and yucky, or food get spilled on your feet. Stuff happens.

• b12 tablets. They work with your system in a healthy way, as opposed to caffeine, and does the same trick. Just follow the directions on the bottle, and may I suggest, start with half the recommended dose. It affects different people more or less. My husband takes the recommended two, while I only need a half. We both have adhd, and are closely similar in body weight. If you need a wake up boost, don't slam your system with caffeine.

• baby wipes. You can get a small pack, and they can help clean up almost anything. Someone spill sticky tea? Got it. Fell and scraped a knee, and it has dirt all over it? Baby wipes and a little water. Need to blow your nose, and there are no tissues, or just feel like you need to rinse your face off in class? You're covered.

• chapstick is a very small item, but Lordy Lord if those classrooms aren't parched of all moisture in the air. You gone get cracked, chapped lips.

That's kinda it for now on backpack essentials. There is definitely more you could have, so supplement whatever helps you. You could add a hairbrush or comb, a hat and rain jacket for cold weather times, sunscreen during the hot times, hair ties and bobby pins, etc. It's all for you pal.

- keep in touch with your professors. Make yourself known to them. An occasional casual compliment is often helpful, and a good way to connect (you explained stuff really well today/your teaching style is helpful/I appreciated you taking time to answer my questions). They are people after all.

- if you have stuff going on, let your professors know. If your pet is sick at home and you're worried about them, give your professors a heads-up that you may seem less attentive that week, but that it isn't disinterest. If you figure out you have depression, and you're struggling to complete assignments/sleep/wake-up, tell them. Let them know you don't expect special treatment, you just wanted them to know that it isn't due to immaturity or lack of interest.

- always do studying and homework first. If you're able to accomplish these things while with friends, that's great, but if you can tell you're struggling, prioritize schoolwork. You'll have time for fun stuff later, usually later that evening.

- it's okay to drop a class. In fact, if you severely dislike a class, don't understand the coursework, or you realize you've taken on too much at once, it's better for your overall wellness and your grades if you drop it. If you have a professor suggest you drop a class in mean way, don't feel like you have to prove them wrong. This is your experience, and they can stuff it for being a rude brat. You don't need to prove yourself to them, and you cannot control their thoughts or actions.

- try to take classes that happen twice a week, which start later in the day than 8 am, at least for your first semester. There is a lot going on in college. A lot of changes to acclimate to. Take it a little easier at first, to give yourself time to work out what all is where, and how everything works.

Well, that's the end of 'dip's (college) tips' for now.

#dip shares stuff #stuff to know #dip's tips #college

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leviathans-normie · 4 years

Note

My heart is shattered after reading mc sacrificing themselves poor them I wanted I continuation of mc who soul was sent to celestial and they become a seraph and married to Micheal then there a was second exchange program and they see mc but they dont recognises them anymore since they lost their memory of their past life

So you have chosen to rub salt in the wound, huh? I salute your strength.

YEARS AFTER MC SACRIFICED THEMSELVES FOR LILITH

LUCIFER

→When he heard about another exchange programme, he groaned.

→"Not again, Lord Diavolo."

→He might have seemed tired, but in reality, he was remembering how the last one went and how MC left.

→His head couldn't help but play that scene in his mind.

→When he saw them coming, he was shocked, yet ecstatic.

→Yet, he knew something was different. They were weirded out when the others hugged them, or when Lord Diavolo told them "you know the drill."

→And, of course, Asmodeus, the biggest gossiper noticed the ring.

→"Oh, yeah, I'm Michael's wife."

→You could actually pin-point the moment Lucifer's heart broke.

→He tried to play it cool, do things as he was supposed to, but everyone could tell he was different.

→He avoided MC like the plague, and his anger, hatred and resentment towards Michael and God peaked.

→He was mad; at himself, mostly.

→He should have, could have, prevented it.

→But he didn't.

→And now, the only thing he could do was to pretend he was fine.

MAMMON

→He was so excited when he saw them going through the gates of Devildom.

→Of course he went to hug them! He's their first! He deserves to be hugged first!

→What do you mean they don't remember him?

→"MC what are you talki- is that a ring?!"

→Devastated when he heard about them and Michael.

→He was their first.

→He was supposed to marry them, not Michael.

→Why did they have to do this?

→It's the only time anyone had seen him lose his cool and go full-on demon form.

→He was mad, ready to go up to the Celestial Realm and kill Michael with his own two hands.

→When he calmed down, he refused to look them in the eye.

→They had forgotten him, and much worse, they disliked him due to his outburst.

→The only person who didn't think he was a scum had abandoned him.

→So, what was the point of trying not to be scummy anymore?

LEVIATHAN

→Another boyo that ran and hugged the life out of MC when she passed the gates.

→Woahhhhhhh.png

→But when MC didn't hug back, something seemed off.

→"Is this one of your normie tactics?"

→But by the look on their face — and the tons of anime he's consumed — he could already assume what was up.

→No, it can't be like that.

→Not right when he had fixed his life again.

→He refused to believe it and spoke to them as if they still remembered.

→Which made him come off as weird.

→But the final blow was when he learnt about Michael.

→Of course. Why would MC remember a yucky otaku like him? They'd obviously want to be with someone perfect and angelic like Michael.

→Don't expect him to get out of the room soon.

SATAN

→He was still a bit salty about the Lilith thing.

→He refused to partake in anything Lucifer or his brothers took part in.

→But when MC knocked on his door to introduce themselves out of politeness.

→His breath hitched.

→"M-MC, you're..."

→But he knew something had changed. He could see it in their eyes.

→They introduced themselves and accidentally slipped a piece of info or two about them and Michael.

→He wished he could have held his anger back then.

→Yet, he was unable to.

→If when they died was a huge tragedy for him, now it was even worse.

→Better dead than so close yet so away from him.

→He moved out, destroyed some of Devildom on his way and went straight up to Michael to give him a piece of his mind.

→After all, with no previous connection, he couldn't give two shits about him.

→Rip anyone who gets in his way.

ASMODEUS

→”Oh, honey, you’re back!”

→Shoved everyone out of the way to hug MC.

→Sooo pouty when they don’t hug back.

→”Darling, what’s wro-...”

→Could see it in their face that there was something wrong.

→”Honey...?”

→”Please, don’t call me that. I’m a married person and I don’t want people to get the wrong idea.”

→eh.png

→When they explained about Michael, his heart sank deeper than it already was.

→He had promised himself that he wouldn’t let go of his routines, so he didn’t.

→But he just couldn’t find any joy in them.

→He wasn’t happy doing facemasks, relaxing baths. Not even going home with strangers to fulfill his desires wasn’t enough.

→It all felt pointless. And he hated it.

→He hated how, despite always promising he’d love himself above all, another person came into his life and then left like that, only to come back and give him another finishing blow.

→But he wasn’t planning on having hard feelings.

→He would spend time with MC. It wasn’t time for regrets nor for crying.

→If they can’t be lovers, friends they would be.

→After all, who knew how much time he had left with them?

BEELZEBUB

→Was really happy when he heard the news.

→Finally, he could stop feeling guilty! He’d have MC back on his family! Lilith and Belphie too! It was great!

→Or so he thought.

→At first he didn’t realise that MC didn’t remember him. He actually thought it was quite natural.

→But then, he noticed their finger and asked about the ring.

→It was as though the sky fell on his head.

→”Why would you marry Michael if we were together?”

→MC was really confused. “When were we together?”

→And then, it suddenly clicked.

→This is why MC hadn’t hugged him much, why they hadn’t cuddled him nor kissed him. Not because of awkwardness, but because, in their mind, they hadn’t met before.

→But... he understood he couldn’t do anything about it.

→In his mind, he was just glad they were alive, glad that he wouldn’t live with that guilt.

→So, he pushed his feelings to the side and spent time with them like normal.

→It still hurt him to see them be with Michael during his rare visits to the Devildom, but... if MC was happy, he was too.

BELPHEGOR

→He pretended not to care.

→But he cared.

→He cared a lot.

→So, of course, he approached MC at some point.

→They chatted a bit, but from that he could already understand something was different.

→Honestly, he was heart broken.

→But he also couldn’t care less.

→I mean, what did he expect?

→He shouldn’t have expected anything good to happen to him.

→So, he just, moved on with his life.

→He was heart broken and angry, but at least a small bit of guilt had been lifted.

→He even attempted to have a better start than the one he had the previous time.

→Yes, he was hurt, but at least he wasn’t guilty.

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus

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enchantedlokii · 3 years

Text

It’s Okay

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: language

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark

Mentioned: Richard Parker, Mary Parker, Ben Parker, May Parker, Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, Howard Stark, Maria Stark, Edwin Jarvis

@whumptober2020 Day Eleven: Crying

Peter was used to having bad days. They came often, if he were being completely honest. But he was lucky. Most kids his age who had been through what he had been through would be a lot worse of than he was. After losing his parents and then his uncle. . . He knew that people worried about him. May worried about him. Ned worried about him. Michelle worried about him. Even his teachers seemed to always have an extra eye out for him. Because he was seen as troubled. He was one of the kids they wouldn’t be surprised if he did something horrible to himself or to someone else. Because it would make sense.

The only person who didn’t seem to be so worrisome about him was Mr. Stark. He imagined it was because the man understood. Peter knew about the car accident; that his parents had been killed when he was young. Sure he was older than Peter when it happened, but he still understood in a way that others didn’t.

What Peter didn’t realize was the fact that this meant Tony was able to see right through his facade that he had started to adopt whenever he was upset.

“Hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter greeted as he stepped into the workshop. He was quick as he went to his desk, putting his backpack down beside him. Normally, the two would work on separate projects unless they needed an extra set of hands. “What are we working on today?”

“Hey, Kid,” Tony replied, glancing up over his shoulder. “I left you some papers over there. Was hoping you could take a look at them. Something isn’t coming out quite right and I can’t find it.”

Peter nodded and picked up the stack of papers, taking out a different colored pen and starting to work through them. He huffed as he got stuck, struggling to remember how the particular equation worked. He scribbled out a piece of his work and tried again, hoping it would work out this time and he could move on. He wasn’t really up for complex calculus today. Or anything, really, but he knew that he couldn’t just ditch on Tony. Especially not now.

“You alright, Pete?” Tony asked, causing Peter to freeze. He put his pen down and turned around with a small smile he hoped was convincing.

“I’m alright,” he told him. “Just having a bit of trouble figuring this out.”

Tony raised an eyebrow and Peter knew immediately that the man didn’t believe him. “What’s up, Underoos? I know that look.” His voice was gentle, more so than normal, and his tone made Peter want to tell him the truth, but he knew he couldn’t. Because this was the last person who saw past everything that happened to Peter and just saw him for himself.

“I’m fine, Mr. Stark,” he pressed, forcing his voice to stay even. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re a terrible liar, you know,” Tony pointed out, standing up and moving his seat to be next to Peter. “I won’t force you to talk about it, but I can tell something’s bothering you. It would make me feel better, and would make you feel better whether you believe it or not, if you didn’t keep whatever it is inside.”

“What makes you think that?” Peter asked. He wasn’t sure exactly if he meant the fact that the man knew something was bothering him or that he would feel better opening up, but he was up for an answer to either.

“Because I used to be the same way,” he said with a small shrug. “Still can be, honestly, but I’m working on that. My dad always said that men aren’t supposed to show emotion and I believed him because everyone loved him. I thought that it would make me weak to tell anyone that I was upset, and it. . .” He trailed off, seeming uncertain whether he should continue or not. He cleared his throat and put a hand on Peter’s knee. “Let’s just say it almost didn’t end well, alright? I don’t want you to have to go through the same sh*t I did because you think you can’t talk to someone.”

Peter felt his breath catch in his chest as he guessed at what the implication might mean. He didn’t dare ask, but he had a good idea. “I don’t want to bother you,” he replied finally. “I’ll be fine, really.”

“You could never bother me, Kid.”

Peter shrugged, uncertain. He could feel tears threaten to spill and didn’t dare try to speak in fear his voice might crack. He felt a hand rest on his back and his lip quivered a bit. “Peter, have I ever told you about Jarvis? The real Jarvis?”

Peter glanced up at the question, a bit confused. He shook his head, still not opening his mouth to form a real answer. He could tell from the look in Tony’s eyes that he knew why, but the man didn’t mention it. Instead, he continued speaking.

“When I was growing up, he was around more than my parents were. He was more like a dad to me than my real dad was, really,” he told him. “Still, I was afraid to talk to him about the things that most kids would talk to their dads about. The yucky stuff. Because I thought that all men must think that made us weak. So, when I was upset about something that had happened at school and Jarvis picked me up, I acted like everything was fine. He saw right through it.”

Peter smiled a bit at that. Because it sounded a lot like the situation he was in right now.

“He asked me what was wrong,” Tony continued. “And at first I wouldn’t tell him, but then he told me something that I have never forgotten. Do you want to know what that was?”

Peter nodded slowly. He had a feeling that whatever it was would be enough to send him over the edge. He knew that’s what Tony wanted, too. He wanted him to break, and not with foul intentions. He wanted to help. Peter knew that. He just wasn’t willing to accept help from him.

“He told me that when people care for you, they’re there for you for the good and the bad,” Tony explained. He moved his hand to Peter’s shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. “I’m not going to make you tell me what’s going on. It’s okay if we’re not there yet, but I hope that you’ll tell someone what’s wrong. And I hope you know that you can always talk to me, okay? I care, Peter.”

Peter took a shaky breath and nodded, unable to keep the tears at bay any longer. He let out a small sob and bent over, his body shaking as he started to cry. He was surprised, even after the conversation, when Tony pulled him close, pressing his head against his own chest and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “Just let it out, Buddy.”

Peter wrapped around him and buried his face into the man’s chest, just above where he knew the arc reactor once was. He found hismelf clinging to his shirt as if he would disappear if he were to let go. “Please don’t leave me,” he whimpered. “Please don’t leave.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Tony promised. “I’m not going anywhere.”

And he didn’t. He stayed there until Peter’s sobs died down and he loosened his vice grip on the man’s shirt. “Feel better now?” he asked, one hand still rested at the base of Peter’s neck.

Peter nodded against his chest. “A-a little,” he admitted. “This probably sounds really dumb, but I-I think maybe I just. . . I let it all build too long.”

“It’s not dumb,” Tony assured him. “It happens sometimes, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s perfectly normal. It’s okay to get worked up and need to let it out. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s not.”

Peter sighed and slowly pulled away, glancing down at his feet as he clasped his hands together. “You’re going to worry about me all the time now,” he murmured, bringing a hand up to wipe his tears on his sleeve. “Aren’t you?”

“I’ve always worried about you, Pete,” Tony told him. He must have noticed the way Peter deflated, because he moved a hand to the boy’s chin and lifted it until he looked him in the eyes. Peter would have hated it if it weren’t for the soft expression he gave. “People worry about you because they care about you. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“But—”

“No, there’s no buts to it,” Tony interrupted him sternly. “Do you not worry about the people you care about? About May? Your friends?”

“Yeah,” Peter replied quickly. “Of course I do.”

“How is it any different that we worry about you?” he asked gently. When Peter didn’t replied right away, he continued. “I’m going to take a wild guess and say you’re tired of sympathy.”

Peter blinked in surprise. “How do you know that?”

“Because I get it,” Tony shrugged. “You think that people only worry about you because you’re an orphan. Because you’ve lost people you love. Because you’re different than they are. You’ve had it happen so much that it’s hard to know who really cares and who’s just acting. Trust me, Peter. I understand how that feels. I know it sucks. I know you’re worried that people are going to turn their backs on you when you need them most. And I promise you— I swear on my life that I will never do that to you.”

“This isn’t going to change anything?” Peter asked quietly.

“It’s not going to change anything,” Tony confirmed with a reassuring smile. “Except that now you know that you can come to me for anything. I don’t care if it’s something as trivial as a girl not liking you back, I’ll be here to listen. I’m here for the good and the bad, Pete. If you want me to be that person.”

Peter smiled at the implication of his words. He was willing to be the figure in his life that Jarvis had been to him. He told him that Jarvis was like a father to him more than his own father, and he had just openly admitted that he would be that for Peter. He cared for Peter in the way Jarvis had cared for him. He had even, for the first time, given Peter a real hug. He had broken the invisible barrier that they had been playing jump rope with for months.

Carefully, and a bit uncertain still, Peter leaned forward to wrap Tony in another hug. This time, the few tears that escaped him were happy tears. “Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

“Anytime, Kiddo,” Tony replied, hugging him back. “Anytime.”

#whumptober2020 #no.11 #fandom #writing #marvel #mcu #avengers #irondad #spiderson #peter parker #tony stark #spider man #iron man

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yikesharringrove · 4 years

Note

the fic you wrote for my last prompt was amazing, ty 😭 can you do 50 + 56 this time please? and if you want to work in dyslexic!steve too that would be awesome! 🥰

You are speaking my fuckin’ language, dyslexic Steve is my ABSOLUTE jam. Honestly, whenever I write Steve, he’s dyslexic, although sometimes it’s not mentioned because it’s not important to Harry’s journey @ jk rowling

Thank you for your request! I’m really glad you liked the other one I wrote! You’re anonymous so I don’t know which one that is but I really enjoyed writing them all! Sorry for my manic energy rn.

Something a little different, it’s modern au! This is probably nothing like what you were thinking so I’m sorry, but I kinda love it ngl.

50: Secret Admirer

56: “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

Prompt list!

Billy spent three and a half hours reading through every single tweet on the account.

There were so fucking many of them. The earliest one was timestamped from four days ago, so obviously, this person had no life outside of tweeting.

Tweeting about Billy.

He had a few personal favorites. He had retweeted them to his account, figuring may as well play it up, make a joke outta everything.

@ImHardForHargrove: sorry WHOMST gave you the RIGHT to have eyes that fuckin blue im YELLING

@ImHardForHargrove: watchin u play basketball is a religious experience y are ur arms so BIG hhnnnng

And Billy’s absolute favorite, which he pinned right at the top of his account

@ImHardForHargrove: ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass

Billy knew he looked good. Knew he turned heads wherever he went. He did that on purpose. But realizing someone at Hawkins High had set up a thirst account for him, well.

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” Billy had explained the situation to Robin, letting her go through the account on his phone. “Like, It’s kinda nice, whoever this guy is, he’s got a crush. But also like, It’s kinda creepy. Plus he’s objectifying me,” Billy was talking through his sandwich.

Robin made a face of disgust. “Why do you keep saying ‘he’? All of the girls in this fucking school are practically drooling for you.”

“Hard for Hargrove, Robin. I know you’re like, revolted by the peen and whatever but that does not excuse a lack of basic sexual education and anatomy.” She gagged at him. Honest to God, gagged. He thought she was gonna spew all over the table.

“If I ever hear you call it a peen ever again, it’s on sight Hargrove.” Heather plopped herself down next to Robin, kissing her cheek before zeroing in on Billy’s phone, still in Robin’s hand.

“Have you guys worked out who it could be yet?” Her eyes were wide at Billy.

“Billy says he thinks its a guy even though people with penises aren’t necessarily men.” Robin gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah Robin, I know that, but, I don’t know I just think it’s a guy penis-having person.”

Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you actually think that, or are you just hoping in that goblin little brain of yours that this account is Steve Harrington’s.” Billy could feel the heat spread down his neck.

“Billy, I know Steve is like, the only out guy in this whole fucking town, but you can do way better than him. PLUS, I feel like it makes more sense if the person running this account wasn’t out and had to channel their gay yearning through social media.”

“First of all Robin, you have this vendetta against Steve that I don’t get. He’s a nice guy. He’s kinda dopey, kinda dumb, but he’s like, sweet and shit. Second, I’m not out, so it still could be him because he doesn’t think I would, like, accept his advances or whatever. Hence, gay internet yearning.” The chime of the bell sent them packing their lunches, Billy’s phone vibrated in Robin’s hand. She rolled her eyes when he realized he turned on notifications for the account

“Get a fucking life you loser.” She slapped the phone into his hand. He opened the new tweet with embarrassing zeal.

@ImHardForHargrove: i saw u talking with ur mouth full and it was yucky but i was still 🥺🥺

His head shot up, trying to see who would have been facing him during lunch, but the cafeteria was almost empty.

The rest of the week Billy took deliberate care of every interaction he had with anyone. Observing who was in his surroundings, and making note of everything he did and said. He took extra caution around Steve, wanting to spot any minute detail that could give away who ran the account.

The account started blowing up. People were retweeting like fucking crazy. Everywhere he went, he was being asked if he’s seen it, like he doesn’t regularly retweet the good ones. The search for the owner of the account had spread throughout the whole school. A few girls even tried to claim the account was theirs, but every time that happened the account would tweet out something to discredit whoever made the claim, proving them a liar.

Billy was starting to lose hope it was Harrington. The tweets were coming at all different times, posted whenever the person thought about it, so Billy was losing track of who was near when he said or did something. And the tweets were always about stupid stuff Billy didn’t register doing. On Wednesday night the account said

@ImHardForHargrove: hi when you chew on your pencil and it makes me 🥴 that is all thx for comin to my ted talk

Friday afternoon gave them all:

@ImHardForHargrove: walked past ur classroom and u were asleep ive never wanted to CUDDLE someone so bad in my LIFE

But Saturday, Saturday renewed all hope for Harrington Billy could possibly have. Lauren Kranz was throwing a party. It was the first real rager in a while, so everyone was there, and everyone was sloshed. Everyone but Billy, who’d agreed to be designated driver for Robin and Heather like some kinda idiot.

He was brooding on the back porch when his phone went off. The account was active, and the owner was drunk.

@ImHardForHargrove: I can seeeeee u oyt the windw I wan u 2 FUC ME. RAW DOG.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry ur so beauitiful nd THICCC

@ImHardForHargrove: I wana shoot my shot but idk if u lik bois

@ImHardForHargrove: (ys i am boi)

@ImHardForHargrove: nd i dont wana get my heart broken agin 😥

He was right about it being a guy. He was right about him being too nervous to approach him outright. His brain was screaming stevestevesteve at him. Hawkins was shook when Steve came out as bisexual in his sophomore year. He was the golden boy, a real jock. He was NOT the kind of guy people would assume queer in a small midwestern town.

He was kind of a douchebag, dumping one girl for another, sleeping with her and never calling again. But then he settled down with this guy from the University of Indianapolis for a few months until Steve caught him cheating. Apparently, he had slashed the guy’s tires. Billy was impressed.

The next year came Wheeler, who only stuck around long enough to make sure Steve was nice and whipped before she fucked off on him too. So Steve retreated. Spent more time with middle schoolers than anybody else. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line anymore until he knew it wouldn’t be stomped on. Billy could respect that.

Billy couldn’t risk being out in a town like Hawkins. Word always had a way of getting right back to his dad, and in a tiny hick town with nothing better to do than gossip, it was usually only a matter of hours before Neil heard something he didn’t like.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry 4 bad typing rn. drunk nd dysl exic ren’t a happy combo

Billy’s heart stopped. The drunken idiot was giving himself away. Maybe if he sat here staring at the account long enough, enough would be revealed he could figure it all out like a shitty drunk episode of Blue’s Clues.

He was so focused on Twitter, refreshing his feed, again and again, he didn’t notice a very drunk, and very unsteady Steve Harrington stumbling out the back door towards him. Until he crashed into his back.

“Sorry, Bill!” Billy had Steve by the shoulders trying to keep him upright. “Heyy I have a question for you.” Steve grabbed one of Billy’s hands and veered over to the table and chairs arranged neatly on the small patio. When they were sitting, Steve kept ahold of Billy’s hand.

“Hi.” Steve was smiling like a little kid. Billy was in fucking love.

“hey, Harrington. What was your question.”

“So-oo. I have this friend. A very good friend. Super close. And he has a big ol’ crush on you but he’s too scared to ask you himself because he keeps getting his heart fuckin’ broken so he wanted me to ask. Are you into guys?” It’s a miracle Billy understood any of that, every word blending into the next.

“That depends.” Billy leaned in, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He saw Steve take in a sharp breath, following the movement with his glazed eyes. He knew Steve was talking about himself, he just wanted to rile him up a little. Make him blush first. “This friend you’re talkin’ about. He’s our age? Like you’re not trying to set me up with one a’ your kids, right?” Steve physically recoiled.

“NO, you fuckin’ pedo. I’m NOT trying to set you up with a fuckin’, fuckin’ middle schooler. My friend is, uh eighteen. He’s a senior.” Unless Tommy fuckin’ H. suddenly had a penchant for dick Billy didn’t know about, Steve was 100% talking about himself.

“Well, if he’s as pretty as you are, I’d love to go out with him sometime.” Billy winked. Steve went red.

“Okay, but like, does that mean you’d go out with me? Like I’m as pretty as me, right? Because I was talking about me. Not ‘a friend’ I was talking about me. Steve.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. You know, I was hoping it was you running that Twitter. Any time you’d tweet out something you wanted to do with me, I was always picturin’ doing it with you, Baby.” Billy was practically purring. “Especially all the shit you wanted me to do TO you.” Steve gave something between a whine and a groan and flopped himself onto Billy’s lap, straddling him with very little grace.

“Thank God. ‘Cause you’re so fucking hot I’d let you do anything to me. Anything, Bill.” Billy smiled softly at him.

“Then let me take you home. Let me put you in bed to sleep off all this. And let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. Something nice and greasy for your hangover tummy.” Steve was a puddle in Billy’s lap. “C’mon, Drunky, git your ass up.” Steve just giggled and muttered Drunky Skunky under his breath.

Billy sighed and stood up, hefting Steve up with him.

“Bil-ly,” Steve whined. “You’re so strong, this is so fucking hot. I gotta tweet about this.”

“Tweet it later, Sweet Thing.”

It took Billy for-fucking-ever to find Robin and Heather (they were making out in the basement with the stoners). But Steve chirped and cooed into his ear, so happy Billy could lift him and hold him like it was nothing.

The last tweet from the account was timestamped from Sunday evening.

@ImHardForHargrove: Hi this is Steve. Billy’s my boyfriend now 🥰#ThirstWorks

#I'm gonna reblog this in the morning too #Im v proud of it I want people to SEE IT #harringrove #steve harrington #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #billy hargorve #modern au #modern harringrove #yikes writes #harringrove prompts #Harringrove Prompts list #harringrove prompt fill #prompt fill #prompt fic

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prrplwtch · 4 years

Note

Angst hc request??? How would the brothers react to MC (gender neutral pls) breaking up with them for different reasons?? 😭😭😭😭 (Like, for lucifer it could be feeling like diavolo comes first, asmo bcos u think he might cheat, satan for anger issues, etc, etc??

Hi :) Thanks for the ask 💜

Lucifer:

Lucifer does not see the breakup coming. To him everything is normal and he does not even suspect that his s/o might be unhappy.

Though if he was completely honest with himself, there probably were signs. But our boy is too proud to acknowledge that something is wrong.

When MC asks to have a talk Lucifer cannot even imagine that it would be the break up convo.

When MC informs him that they are breaking up with him, he feels like the ground is gone from under his feet.

He does not show his distress of course - and tries to not show his anger as much as he can. He tries to act as “icy” towards MC as possible

When he hears that it is because of Diablo, he wants to scream - his devotion, the deal he made so many years ago literally took everything from him.

He’ll never show it of course.

After the break up conversation, he does not talk to MC, unless absolutely necessary, and even then acts “icy”.

On the inside, Lucifer is not sure if he wants the exchange program to end immediately so that he never has to see MC again, or if he wants it to last as long as possible - because he is still hoping against hope that MC will return to him.

Internally very sad and though he tries not to show it his brothers know. His temper becomes worse, his punishments harsher.

Lucifer finds himself losing all hope of ever having another meaningful romantic relationship - because he is still deeply in love with MC and because he thinks that whoever else he meets would probably also not deal to well with his devotion to Diablo.

Mammon:

Mammon had been sensing that something was off for a while, but whenever he asked, MC would simply brush it off.

Then one day when MC tells Mammon that they want to talk, Mammon acts all confident, but on the inside he is super anxious. Cue a lot of “The Great Mammon” mentions leading up to the fateful break up conversation.

Even though he was worried for a while that MC wants to break up, when MC actually says it, it hurts. And hurts a lot.

He tries not to show it of course, but, unlike Lucifer, he does not have the best poker face, so he is pretty sure MC can see that he is about to cry.

When he hears that the reason for the break up is that MC finds him unreliable, his heart completely shatters.

Mammon does not even finish the conversation - he runs out of the room, out of the House of Lamentation and is not seen for at least a week. His brothers are worried, but he does not respond to texts or calls - he simply cannot be in the same house as MC or around them at all.

Eventually, Mammon has to return to the house. It hurts a lot to be back, and he tries his best to avoid MC. The best way he can think of is to either be locked in his room or to go out.

Trying to distract himself from the pain of the heartbreak, Mammon gambles and goes out a lot. He does not even care what others think - if even MC called him unreliable, there is no hope for him now.

Mammon cannot wait until the exchange program is over - every time he sees MC, it hurts so much, that he can hardly bear it.

Becomes more depressed as time passes, since MC was an important source of emotional support for him and one of the few people who treated him well.

Leviathan

Levi still could not believe that someone like him could have landed a s/o like MC, so when they initiate a break up conversation he reacts surprisingly calmly.

During the break up conversation, a lot of self deprecating comments like “of course I knew you didn’t actually like a yucky otaku like me”.

While he is putting up a brave face, on the inside he is hurting. And it hurts even more when he learns that the reason for the break up are his interests - such is anime and video games.

Levi feels kind of betrayed - he shared everything that he loved with MC and he thought that they genuinely shared his passions, but as it turns out they did not.

Wants the break up conversation to be over as soon as possible.

Gets really sad and sulky after it is over and does not leave his room for a very long while, spending all his time on his anime and video games, feeling that they are a source of stability in his life, as they would not leave him.

During a particularly bad evening thinks about getting rid of his games and anime, since they seem to be the reason that MC left, but does not because then he thinks he would be left with nothing.

Misses so much school and so many family gatherings, that his brothers are legitimately worried.

Refuses to leave his room or go to class until the exchange program is over and he does not have to see MC everywhere ever again.

Still keeps the picture he took with MC where they are both in cosplay and happy. Often finds himself holding it and crying.

Does not really get over the break up, even after MC has long left the Devildom.

Satan

Satan was surprised that he had met such a lovely person who was able to handle his temper. However, in the last few weeks he definitely noticed MC pulling away, especially after he lets his temper get the better of him.

So when MC asks to have a conversation, Satan knows that it is probably about his anger issues.

What Satan does not expect, however, is that instead of trying to work something out, MC chooses to leave him. Although, if he was being honest, he does not exactly blame MC, as he knows his temper can be difficult.

Still, the break up stings, and Satan would try and avoid MC for a while. Luckily it is easy - Satan likes spending time in his room reading, and MC now has no reason to come by.

Though Satan acts unaffected, on the inside he is hurting and feels angry with himself. He should have been better at containing his temper, he should not have allowed his rage to overcome him.

Strong feelings of self-loathing, since he knows that being angry is part of his nature and there is nothing he can do with himself.

Still, he knows that he cannot hide out in his room for all eternity, so eventually he goes back to spending time in common areas of the house.

Whenever he interacts with MC he is always pointedly polite, but it still really hurts him on the inside to see MC.

Feels that despite his best efforts, his temper is getting worse. Things that used to not provoke much reaction out of him now cause huge rage storms. The more he rages the more he hates himself.

After MC leaves the Devildom, he is equally sad and relieved. He does not think he will ever meet anyone again, but he also does not think that he deserves to be loved because of his temper.

Asmodeus

Asmo has a vast experience of being in different relationships, so he can sense early when something is off, even despite MC telling him that everything is fine.

Still, when the break up conversation happens, Asmo is really hurt - MC is the first person he really opened up to, the first person with whom he felt truly intimate on more than just physical level, and having that taken away is quite hard.

When he hears that the reason MC is breaking up with his is because they fear that he may cheat on them, his heart completely shatters.

Asmo is naturally flirty, as makes sense for the avatar of lust, but he had never cheated on MC and was never planning to do.

Asmo tries to act light hearted about the break up, but on the inside he is really hurting from MC’s accusations.

So once he is a free man once again, he does the only thing that makes sense - goes to the club to try and get with as many people as possible. The pain doesn’t go away, of course, but that does not mean that Asmo would stop trying to figure out just how many one-night stands it takes to heal a broken heart.

Even his brothers are worried for him - though it is common for Asmo to sleep with many different demons, he had never slept with just SO MANY demons in such a short period of time.

The more time Asmo spends in the arms of his temporary lovers, the less time he has to run into MC.

Asmo realizes that after having true emotional intimacy with someone - the relationships build on purely physical intimacy are not fulfilling anymore. But he does not get emotionally intimate with anyone - in part, because he does not feel like anyone can give him the love MC did and in part because he does not feel like he deserves it due to his nature.

When MC leaves, Asmo takes it really hard because there is still a huge empty space in his heart and no amount of temporary lovers was able to fill that.

Beelzebub

Beel does not even suspect that MC is unhappy. To him everything is fine, because MC acts like everything is fine.

So he ends up completely blind-sided by MC’s request to have a serious conversation about their relationship.

Beel’s heart shatters, when MC tells him they are leaving him - and shatters again when MC says that his eating is the problem. Beel had no idea, but as it turns out, MC is tired of their entire dating and daily life revolving around food, so they don’t want to be with him anymore.

Beel is very sad, and he shows it. After MC leaves Beel does what he usually does when he is feeling upset - goes to the kitchen and eats. The more he eats, the more self resentment he starts feeling.

He saw MC as this amazing person in his life, who loved and cared for him, and now he lost them simply because he could not control his appetite. Beel feels pathetic.

Thus starts the vicious cycle where the sadder he gets, the more he eats and the more he hates himself. It does not take long until Beel feels completely depressed.

He tries to avoid MC, but he still wants to see them because a part of him still cares for them. Luckily avoiding MC does not seem that hard, since they never venture into the kitchens anymore.

Beel really wants to get back with MC, but he understands that they will not take him back because his eating is out of control, and that makes him really sad.

When MC leaves Devildom, Beel finds himself falling into despair, and even Belphie cannot quite help him get out of it.

Belphegor

Belphie, just like his twin, also did not realize that MC was unhappy with their relationship because to him everything seemed fine - they spent plenty time together in the attic room, napped together and talked.

However, he feels suspicious when MC asks to have a conversation with him - he can feel that something is off.

When MC says that they want to break up, he is sad, but definitely tries to hide it. He becomes especially sad when he learns that MC wants to break up because they feel like he is not putting enough effort into their relationship.

A part of him is angry - he thought that MC enjoyed things they did together, such as their naps and conversations, and he lets MC know that he is upset. It is not a pretty break up.

After that, he makes it his mission to avoid MC. It is very easy, since the break up made him so sad that the only thing he seems to want to do is stay in his attic room and sleep.

His brothers get worried when he does not show up for meals for a few days, but when they go to check on him, the door is locked.

Belphie is feeling mostly two emotions - sadness and anger. Inside him, resentment towards MC starts to brew. Nonetheless, he knows that he would not act on that resentment because a part of him still cares for her.

Belphie does not really see MC after they broke up, maybe only on a couple of occasions. Because he mostly spends his days sleeping he does poorly at school and gets in trouble with Lucifer because he has to repeat a year.

Belphie once again finds himself feeling hatred towards humans.

When the MC leaves Devildom it’s a relief, but Belphie still continues with his self-destructive habits.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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mallorytaylorblog · 4 years

Text

Suffering.

25th October 2020.

What does the word suffering mean? When I looked it up in the dictionary, I got a few different definitions.

“The condition of one who suffers.”

“An instance of pain and distress.”

“The bearing of pain, inconvenience, or loss.”

Based on those definitions alone I think it’s safe to say we’ve all experienced suffering at one point in our lives. We could even be suffering now - I know for me, living in Melbourne, suffering is a much talked about topic and everyone has a totally different and individual experience to convey.

In the context of mental wellness, I think suffering is a really interesting topic to ponder.

There are two truths that I believe are guaranteed about suffering.

1) suffering is inevitable, and 2) suffering is a choice.

If feels contradictory but I think these two truths are actually complimentary in nature.

One thing I find interesting about suffering is that it often manifests itself as a mental and emotional affliction - sure we can be physically in pain, but when I think of suffering I think less of things like injuries, which can be acute and are fairly simple to overcome. I think of suffering in the 21st century as things like ruminating over a situation or interaction over and over again, replaying the same scene thinking about all the things you can have said or done differently in the moment. It’s things like mulling over a heart break, it’s the embarrassing moments that get seared into your brain, ready for reliving every night just as your about to fall asleep. In my opinion, it’s human nature to wonder, “What if?” because as a species we’re wired to hope for better. We’re driven by love, acceptance and belonging so when things don’t go to plan we can get stuck in a trap of letting the wheel spin over and over in the same spot. It doesn’t get us anywhere and only serves to hurt us further, keeping us trapped in a moment in time reliving something that we cannot change.

It’s the meaning we assign to things that causes us to mentally and emotionally suffer. Nothing is permanent yet we suffer when we are afflicted with things like loss and heartbreak. They may not cause us physical pain, but the mental and emotional effects of such events can last well after the event has occurred.

I suffered a lot as a child. I was bullied a lot, I felt neglected at home, I struggled to communicate my emotions and felt rejected and unloved. I had this yucky story about having to earn love, like I wasn’t worthy of it just for being me. So I suffered with having to feel like I needed to put on a facade or change who I was in order to be accepted. I was diagnosed with depression at age 12 and took anti-depressants for years, so I suffered with that. I had eating disorders for nearly two decades, so my relationship with my body and with food and exercise suffered a lot. I felt forgotten in my family, I punished myself for things that weren’t my fault, and I felt a lot of pain and anxiety as a kid that translated to my story as an adult. None of my physical injuries as a kid affected me long term growing up, but the meaning I assigned to the events that hurt me mentally and emotionally created the beliefs and stories I subscribed to as a kid and as an adult.

One thing I think is important to remember when talking about suffering is that pain is relative. No one has authority to tell someone that what they’re enduring is worthy of suffering, only the individual gets to decide that. I grew up an angry, sad, confused and heart broken kid, but in the eyes of another person, I had a family of four older siblings and two parents who loved me, I had a roof over my head, I went to a nice school. I had a hot meal to eat every night and I had a comfy bed to sleep in. If suffering is a mostly mental and emotional affliction, it’s handy to remember that regardless of outward appearances everyone has endured different degrees of suffering. We have all been through something that has changed us.

Which brings me to the first truth.

Suffering is inevitable.

We’re always going to find situations, events, people, things that make us hurt. To me, it’s human nature to be kind and loving. If we’re open to love, and it is our human nature to love and be loved, then it’s also in our nature to be hurt and to suffer. We’re compassionate and kind by nature and we hope for the best for each other and ourselves. Of course we’re going to suffer, we’re constantly aiming high when it comes to our experience of life, and as we know life doesn’t always deliver exactly what we expect.

I believe only those who are hurting hurt other people. It doesn’t feel good to hurt another person, unless we’re already suffering in some way. To me, the term “hurt people hurt people” tells us we need to be more compassionate and less judgemental. If we knew the pain others were suffering we may not be so quick to persecute or condemn. Perhaps we’d be more inclined to understand. We all live such unique and different experiences, but our nature is to love and be loved. That however opens us up to the vulnerability of heart break and rejection. It’s the duality of life - where there is pleasure, there is pain. Where the is a win, there is a lesson. Where there is rain there is a rainbow. We’re a pleasure seeking species so, as the balance of life dictates, as above so below, where we seek pleasure we also seek suffering. It’s a part of the human condition.

I mentioned before that the meaning that we assign to things is what ends up causing us mental and emotional suffering. We experience something, we decide what that experience means for us, and then we continue living our lives with another lens through which to view our world. A lot of the time it’s the stories we write for ourselves that determine how much or how long we suffer.

So if the first truth is “suffering is inevitable” and the second is “suffering is a choice’, how is it that they’re complimentary?

Well yes, we all experience mental and emotional anguish at some point of our lives, it’s absolutely unavoidable. That anguish however can either be used to write an empowering story, or a disempowering one. This is the meaning that we assign to events and, even though it may not seem like it at the time, we always have a choice in how we suffer. We get to choose the meaning we assign.

I was diagnosed with depression when I twelve years of age. That’s a young age to be battling a mental illness. That diagnosis changed the way I viewed myself, it added another lens to the way in which I processed and viewed my world. My story for a long time was that I was broken and unworthy of love. My mental illness diagnosis was the foundation to that story, it was the proof that supported that belief. There was nothing physically wrong about me, I was just a little kid who wanted more than my parents could give me. But the fact that my mother took me to the doctor, who then told us that I had ABC diagnosis and that these pills were the “fix”. told me that Mallory = Broken. My belief that I was unlovable just the way I was, was emboldened by that event. And I suffered for decades after that because the meaning I assigned to that event was that I was a burden to my mother. That’s heavy for any kid to suffer. As an adult, this belief manifested itself in many ways. I suffered relationships that didn’t work out due to my lack of self worth, I suffered estrangement from my mother and siblings, I suffered despair and loneliness like you wouldn’t believe, and I suffered a relationship with myself that was without love and acceptance (all the things I outwardly craved the most). The meaning I assigned to the doctor’s visit that day built a wall around my heart that prevented anything that didn’t support the “Broken Mallory” narrative from coming in.

That started at age 12. I’m 31 now. And every now and then you just get tired of your own shit. Can anyone relate to this?

I got tired of suffering that belief.

I got tired of seeing others out there living their lives to the max while I felt weighed down by this bullshit story that kept me suffering and in pain for so long.

I couldn't choose my parents. I couldn’t choose the way they decided to love me. The one thing I could choose, however, was the story. I could choose to assign a different meaning to the things that hurt me as a kid. I could choose to look at the belief that I’m broken and unlovable, and say “This isn’t working for you any more, Mallory. Time to switch it up”.

Perspective is helpful when it comes to choosing what you suffer. Delicately balancing the validation and acknowledgement of your pain, and looking outside of your bubble for examples where there is hope to be gained is a necessary life skill I believe. It takes a lot of practice, especially if you’re like me and never felt like your pain was valid or worthy of acknowledgement. It helps to know that yes you’ve got it bad, but you’ve also got it pretty good, to shift the way you view things.

For me, that looked like deciding that my mum was taking me to the doctor because she loved and cared about me, and wanted the best for me. She did the best with what she knew. Viewing the event through that lens changed everything about the meaning I had assigned to that day. I wasn’t a burden she didn’t know how to deal with, she was caring for me the best way she knew how.

So yes, in the context of mental wellness suffering is inevitable, but it’s also most definitely a choice. It’s choosing to enjoy all the fruits whilst being okay with some weeds, and not letting the weeds overcome our gardens.

We can choose to see things through a different lens.

For me, the broken and unlovable story become a story about the power of emotional vulnerability, and how opening yourself up to the world only encourages the world to meet you half way. You only get out what you put in, and if choosing to stay stuck in your pain only encourages more pain, then it’s up to us to choose a different meaning for ourselves.

So how do you do that? How do you choose another meaning? When I’m experiencing some sort of mental or emotional pain, I ask myself “What do you need right now in this moment?” and give myself permission to do what’s most soothing and enjoyable in order for me to lift my spirits. So the first step is acknowledging the pain, giving yourself permission to feel it without judgement, then getting back to equilibrium. Then when I’m feeling more grounded, I can examine my emotions to look for the story underneath it, to find the meaning I have assigned to the event that created the belief.

Once you get to the root of the belief, you can explore other ways of viewing the event. Remember compassion and kindness is our human nature, so where can we bring this lens into view?

This is the sort of stuff that working with a coach can be greatly assisted by. It takes practice to dive into our pain and reinterpret what it means for us, and having someone to guide you through the work to begin with, before it becomes habitual, can get you off on the right foot.

Viktor Frankl, the holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search For Meaning, says, “This is the core of the human spirit. If we can find something to live for - if we can find some meaning to put at the centre of our lives - even the worse kind of suffering becomes bearable”.

So with that in mind, I have three questions for you to ponder. Preferably while you’re journaling on the scenarios or people you’re suffering over.

So what meaning are you choosing? What stories are you writing for yourself? Which lens do you choose to view the world through?

#mental health #suffering #mental wellbeing #mindset #mindset coach #spirituality #spiritual awakening #spirit guides #the m word blog #positive affirmations #inner child healing #deep dive #shadow work #depression #confidence

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sometimesiwriteangst · 4 years

Text

Soul Mates Are Forever - Prologue

(Shortened to SMAF in the tags.)

Written with @scenecipriano!

Overall story contains: torture, kidnapping, violence, abuse, r*pe, u!Remus, u!Remy, u!Virgil, u!Patton. ...two of these get better. Eventually.

Summary: Everyone wants to find their soulmate. Some people put more effort into it.

TW for chapter: Kidnapping, torture, burns, forced marriage, mystery u!character, forced kissing. General yuckiness...

(This is in first person, rest of story is in third.)

It didn’t matter now. Nothing mattered. There’s no way around this. I’m stuck, hopelessly, despairingly stuck. I can barely bring myself to lift my head as my captor enters the room. I don’t want to do this. I can’t do this.

“So, dear, are you ready for today? I thought we’d start with something nice and hot, just for you! I have matches, and some irons, and-”

“Please,” I whispers, straining my throat to speak, “please, no...I can’t…”

He sighs deeply, bouncing on the balls of his feet and drumming his fingers against his leg in irritation. My own feet hurt, still sore from the day before, and two of my fingers are broken, bent at unnatural angles.

“Now, sweetheart we’ve been over this! There’s only one way I’ll stop and you begging isn’t one of them. You know what I want to hear my precious star.”

How could I not know? The words were seared into my brain, but before this I couldn’t, no, I wouldn’t say them, but now… Now I have no reason to fight. Nobody was looking for me, not anymore. My heart drops when my captor sighs in boredom striking a match as he does.

“I-I love you! I-I l-love you and I n-need you m-my saviour!”

He stops, I hold my breath in anticipation. A yelp tumbles from my chapped lips as he jerks my head back by my matted dark hair. Manic green eyes bore into my own hollowed dark ones.

“Care to repeat that my dear?” He asks.

“I-I love you… I-I need y-you my saviour.”

Part of me screams that I’m making a mistake, that I need to stop, but I’m tired. So tired of fighting, I just want this hell to be over. A wide grin breaks out against my captor’s face, making him seem even more demented than he actually was.

I close my eyes tight when he crashes his mouth against mine, trying hard to reciprocate the kiss. It only lasts a couple seconds but it still leaves me winded.

“I love you too, my precious star! But my dear that still isn’t enough… We’ll give it another week, now! What would you like me to use first? The matches or the irons?”

Tears slip down my bruised face, I take a shuddering breath, “T-The matches… my saviour.”

I let my head slump as my captor - no, saviour - strikes a new match. Breathing is hard. I want this to be over.

“Are you going to ask nicely?” my saviour asks me.

“...Please, the...the matches, please, my saviour...please…”

I’m pathetic. I know I’m pathetic. I want this to be over. I don’t care what I have to do. I’ll do whatever he says, say whatever he wants. I need this to be over with, and that’s all I care about anymore.

He kisses the burns after it’s over, murmurs that I look beautiful, and that I’ll look even more so on our wedding day.

“Wed...ding…?” I echo softly, my voice seeming louder than it truly is in the otherwise empty room.

“Well of course! I’ll ask you properly in a week's time, but we both know you’ll say yes!”

Part of me wants to argue, to tell him that it would never happen, but I know better. I force a smile, wincing as a cut on my bottom lip splits open from the movement.

“O-Of course… I wouldn’t dream of telling you no my saviour…”

I’m startled awake when the door to the room I’m in swings open, I squint my eyes when a ray of light shines over my face. ‘What’s happening?’ My thoughts were interrupted when a deep and unfamiliar voice spoke from the doorway.

“My God, the kid was right. Get the EMT’s in here! Mr. Sanders, can you hear me?”

My heart leaps into my throat as I shield my eyes from the light, a man in a dark blue police uniform walks over to me. When the officer gets close enough I immediately reach my hand out to touch his chest, a cry of relief leaves my chapped lips when I touch a solid body. ‘Not a hallucination this time.’

I throw myself at the officer and cling to him desperately, my knuckles turning white due to how tight I held onto his uniform shirt. My body trembles from the sobs that leave me, everything was finally over after all this time.

The officer places a comforting hand on my back, softly telling me that it was okay now, that I was safe and that an upstanding citizen led them to me.

My crying left me tired once more, I struggled to keep my eyes open.

“Go on and rest, you’re safe now.”

I feel myself relax and sigh, unconsciously snuggling into the officer’s chest. I close my eyes and allow a genuine smile to come to my face.

‘It’s finally over…’

“Look at how pretty you are… My precious star sleeping so peacefully!”

My eyes snap open and I’m staring face to face with my saviour, his manic green eyes opened wide and rung in purple eyeshadow, something I hadn’t noticed before until now. I open my mouth to scream only for him to place his hand over my mouth, he gives me a knowing smirk and clicks his tongue.

“Now, star, it’s not nice to scream in a hospital, trust me I know I did it once before and got kicked out!”

I glanced around the room, it was much brighter than the room in the abandoned building. A heart monitor and IV stand was to my left, the heart monitor going off erratically due to my fast heartbeat.

“Do you promise not to scream if I move my hand? Because this kind of gagging is not sexy at all!” My saviour exclaims.

I flick my eyes back to him and slowly nod, he removes his hand. We stare at each other in complete silence for several seconds.

“W-Why?..”

“Why are you here? Simple! I couldn’t just waltz into a courthouse with a known kidnapped victim and get married! No, far too suspicious my dear. That’s why I had to save you first. The town sees me as a hero because I saved you!”

I stare at my saviour, waiting for him to say that this was a joke, but it never came.

“Y-You…”

He cut me off by grabbing my left hand, his touch was gentle and foreign.

“Look, star, I know these past two years have been difficult for the both of us, but I was serious about marrying you. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I had to make you love me. And now you do! So… Would you do me the honour of making me the happiest man alive and becoming my husband?”

My stomach drops, he did say he was going to ask me to marry him properly within a week, had it really been a week? And had it really been two years since I was taken? Every part of me screams to say no, to scream for help and tell whoever would listen that this man was the person who took me, but the tight squeeze told me that that would be a bad idea. I swallow thickly and close my eyes tight to stop the tears from falling.

“Y-Yes… I-I’ll marry you, m-my saviour.”

I stand rigid in a judge's chambers, wearing a plain white dress and a bouquet of white lilies clenched tightly in my hands. I zone out most of the ceremony as the officiator went over sacred passages and then my saviours vows. I come to when my name is said.

“Do you Logan Sanders take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?”

‘Say no! Tell them the truth, don’t do this! Protect yourself!!’

“I do…”

Tag List: @samuel-the-gay @alik-gl

#smaf #tw abuse #tw kidnapping #tw torture #tw burns #um #tw forced marriage #tw noncon kiss

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feisty-fae · 4 years

Note

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

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