#*proceeds to freak out*

[clowfish]

kyle sends chain mail I know this for a fact actually

#he falls for the ones that are like send this to 20 people before midnight or you will die in your sleep in 7 days #then proceeds to freak out when stan won’t send them to other people #kyle: stan 🥺🥺 you didnt send it back to me….does that mean we aren’t actually friends??? #stan: goddamnit #South Park #sp #South Park fanart #kyle brovlofski #stan marsh #sp style #fish art

[triflesandparsnips]

Accidentally started rereading Northanger Abbey, and was sudden reminded all over again that Jane Austen is, in fact, fucking hilarious.

NA is her parody/satire of Gothic novels at the time, and she starts the book by choosing violence-- she describes the "tragedy" of the main character, Catherine Morland, a girl Determined to be a Heroine even though ALL ODDS are against her: she has a sane father who doesn't lock up his daughters, a healthy mother who didn't die in childbirth, no preternatural talent for music or drawing through which to reveal her Deepest Soul, and-- most shockingly of all-- absolutely zero love interests for whom she can wander the hills mourning their starcrossed fates until she wastes away from the sheer Sentimentality of it all.

But don't worry! She's got this FIGURED OUT. She KNOWS why she has not yet found her TRUE LOVE:

There was not one lord in the neighbourhood; no—not even a baronet. There was not one family among their acquaintance who had reared and supported a boy accidentally found at their door—not one young man whose origin was unknown. Her father had no ward, and the squire of the parish no children.

But when a young lady is to be a heroine, the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her. Something must and will happen to throw a hero in her way.

(SPOILER: She is introduced to a mysterious young man who lives in an ABBEY, which everyone knows means he has a DEEPLY MYSTERIOUS SECRET PAST and is maybe a TRAGIC HERO or even a ROMANTIC MONSTER and either way this is IT this is Catherine's TIME TO SHINE she is going to get a good grade in DOOMED LOVE, a thing that is normal to want and--)

(...meanwhile Henry Tilney-- an ordinary guy who never expected "get cast as the Hero in some Grand Gothic Romance" to show up on his bingo card-- starts wondering when exactly he started finding Catherine's attempts to locate bloody daggers in his linen closet charming.)

#Catherine: *literally breaks into a foreboding cabinet in the middle of the night - finds illegible papers no doubt related to murder* #Catherine: *accidentally blows her own candle out while trying to just lower the flame for Effect - proceeds to freak out* #Catherine: *woken up next day by a maid - the cabinet was a linen closet - the papers were inventory of sheets n shit* #Henry Tilney: “Why are you like this? And WHY am I apparently into it?? #Catherine: *too busy trying to stare through the keyhole of the abbey's Forbidden Rooms #totally doesn't hear him* #jane austen #northanger abbey #austen: both a diamond thief AND a talented humorist #give me a time machine and a dinner invite and I would 100% try and flirt with her #GIVE THIS TO ME SCIENCE

[tangledinink]

I’m a bit of a nerd about biology so I do have some potential ideas about how Donnie would know about the kiddos. While regular turtles will nest for all their eggs, fertile or not, donnie doesn’t seem to have that instinct. The unfertilized eggs to him seem to be similar to a human on their period. So when the eggs are fertilized, maybe he does have that nesting instinct. Like he subconsciously knows and gets a severe bout of anxiety about making sure to have a good safe nest for these eggs. There could also be some kind of mystic thing that can be done to confirm his suspicions.

waves arms. biology!

i think both leo and donnie do have some degree of a 'nesting instinct' when they're on their cycle even now, they just don't currently have the chance to answer it. but i guess when they're typically on their cycle it's akin to their instincts gently being like, 'hey, uhm, a little burrow might be nice...' but when there's actually a baby on board, it's more like 'DIG A FUCKING HOLE IN THE GROUND AND GET IN IT, N O W MOTHERFUCKER. WE NEED SOFT BLANKETS AND DARKNESS RIGHT THIS INS T AN T.'

which does probably come with a great deal of anxiety, restlessness, etc. there would also probably be more human-ish symptoms, such as not bleeding (or producing any unfertilized eggs) as expected, morning sickness, and other general hormone fuckiness. and i'm sure that between the forces of science and mystics combined, they could figure out some sort of ninja turtle pregnancy test.

#donnie lowkey assumed that he (a fucking turtle) and his partner (a goddamn cat) wouldn't be biologically compatiable #and doesnt consider Baby to be a potential answer/outcome to these symptoms #(they are also perhaps not as careful as they could have been for this reason) #tw pregnancy #tw menstruation #asks #anon #my legacy of being The Egg Person continues ig #i did this to myself #i must accept it #gemini au asks #gemini asks #donnie is mad af because his body is screaming at him to NEST MF and then he doesnt even lay any eggs like he was EXPECTING #(coz theres babies in there and they gotta cook longer) #and hes like ?!?! WTF ARE YOU SCREAMING AT ME FOR THEN MY GOD. FUCKING WASTING MY TIME-- #(hes not leaving the nest tho.) #actually lowkey i thought abt it a little more and as soon as he. like. proceeds to Not Lay Eggs he probably Panics #because the last time he Did Not Lay Eggs when he was Pretty Fucking Sure He Was Supposed To he almost died and it was horrendous #he probably freaks the fuck out and eventually goes to sorrel/leo and they gently coax him into getting checked out #coz theyre all convinced hes eggbound again #but nope! surprise mf <3 CHILDREN

[fear-ze-queer]

eclipse tells sun and moon that naughty animatronics get taken to the scooper in an attempt to get them to behave. it works on sun (though he would've behaved regardless) but moons calls bullshit and continues to be the little gremlin child he is

#moon finds out the scooper is real and proceeds to freak tf out bc he thinks eclipse really was going to send him there #boy does NOT understand empty threats #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf security breach #fnaf ruin #security breach ruin #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fnaf eclipse #security breach eclipse

[leclercsbf]

Ollie Bearman drives the SF-21 around Fiorano

#f2 #ollie bearman #i can’t be normal about this. i refuse to be normal about this #bitches say fuck ferrari and proceed to freak out once they see ollie in a ferrari. i’m bitches

[wanyinchen]

We all know that S3 is gonna be about the Second Coming-slash-Final Judgement blah blah blah blah blah but what i NEED is for Jesus to radiate so much little sibling energy™. I need them and Crowley to be a chaotic-sibling-bestie duo ok??? It's one of the only ways i can heal

#good omens #crowley #i need jesus to be a very chill dude (gn. they could be a little girl for we know) who pops out of the silver plane and surrounded by CIA #angel bodyguards and then they see Crowley and just fucking runs up to him to choke-bear hug hybrid him the way only little clingy sibs do #and then the angel operatives freak out #jesus: GASPS!!! HI BESTIEE🥰🥰🥰!!! how are ya doin? #crowley: what #angel mafia: !!!! AKDSKSDHASDJKL #and then crowley proceeds to kidnap him and then babysit him. they go to the barbie premier and the Eras tour and the bahamas and just went #around the world. leaving chaos in their wake. we're talking about confusion bafflement and maybe a whole ton of buffets being suddenly #replaced with fish and bread that could feed 6000 people. and then they fuck over governments without even trying and giving the poor the #queers the conspiracy theorists and all of the marginalized peeps everything they WANT #and where was aziraphale in all of this? stuck on heaven's top floor just seething that he can't go out cause the metatron locked him in. #the metatron angel-proofed the whole building just so aziraphale cannot leave. they're in lockdown and everyone is panicking. Aziraphale #the pedantic loophole-obsessed bastard that he is. was like "If they fucking angel-proofed superheaven then I'm gonna escape the good old- #fashioned human way. He then demolishes the glass with his bare fists. everyone screams and he walks out of heaven wearing #his tartan and shades because cool bamf angels don't look at the chaos they unleashed.

[notsoevilmagistrate]

I love psychotic pathetic men

#they’re my favorite ones to write #maybe because I am one idk #ocs #oc making #it’s all funny #I wrote a guy having a mental break and running away to vomit in a bathroom #he had five mints in his pocket so he just put them all in his mouth at once #and when another guy makes fun of him for freaking out #he says ‘kill yourself’ with the mints still in his mouth #proceeds to then eat them and swallow them #and then go on another detailed rant of how the other guy should suffer #it’s great #they’re the funniest types of characters #oh and I should mention my oc had that mental break because someone was flirting with his fuck buddy #well ‘fuck buddy’ if you get what I mean #it’s so hilarious #I can make them as crazy and irrational as I want #he’s really just a wet cat

[rowavolo]

showing diavolo old school creepypastas (particularly the really 'bad' ones) and he gets so scared that he asks to share a bed with me every night for like a week. he wont go anywhere on his own hes like a pathetic doggy.

#hey blondie do you mind standing outside diavolos window and staring creepily #in at him at 3:33am on a friday please #THEN i proceed to show him how the internet blorbo-ified them all and hes like “oh” and then is normal again #he LOVES making jeff the killer jokes. #but he doesnt like talking about killing so he just. #“im going to jeff the shaker you”. “im going to jeff the tickle you.” #I SHOW HIM THOSE CHAIN MAIL ONES ABOUT SATAN COMING TO GET YOU AND HE STARTS GETTING GENUINELY FREAKED OUT BY SATAN #“why would he do that? he wouldnt really hurt anyone would he? thats so mean” #im sorry i would absolutely get satan in on it. #“oh yeah okay.” (he sees it as a roundabout way of getting revenge on lucifer (idk how)) #general barks #rowavolo #lore #scenarios

[tvckington]

really thinking about agent washington being so terribly awkward when traversing his relationship with tucker and tucker finds it so cute and endearing

#rvb #tuckington #lavernius tucker #agent washington #the man hasnt been in a relationship in several years and he doesn’t know how to proceed in many situations #but he’s also like #the most caring guy #he’s always checking in with tucker and it makes me 🥺 #also really thinking about how they confessed to each other and wash was like excited but also freaking out internally #pfl did not prepare him for emotions

[yakool-foolio]

I am actually having more monster hunter x rain code brainrot now, what monsters do you think the NDA people prefer to hunt like do they have a favourite monster? Or alternatively, if you were to assign the detectives monsters from MH, which would they be? I think you might have mentioned something about Vivia being a bit like Malzeno but what about the others?

That makes two of us with the Monster Hunter Rain Code brainrot combo! For whatever monsters they prefer to hunt and associate them with, I picked from the Rise Sunbreak pool since that's the game I'm placing them in for the crossover AU. Though it's very possible I could cheat and pick a monster that's in World if I feel like it heh. Enough dilly-dallying, time for the list!

Yuma - I feel like he'd favor hunting Rathalos, a good challenge while also not too overly demanding like an elder dragon. It's a good show of strength without putting himself in too much danger. The posterboys are fighting! As for what monster I associate him with, I'd say Chameleos suits him pretty well. An elder dragon with the ability to blend in with its surroundings and create mist, while also acting very jittery and unpredictably. Yep, that sounds like our lad.

Halara - They enjoy hunting down Goss Harag since they treat it like a sparring session. Two powerful blade wielders battling to the death, just the average hunt for Halara. This is where I start to cheat by saying that Halara's associated monster is Glavenus. Another sword-like monster, Glavenus is known for being one of the strongest brute wyverns while also being the most intelligent, fitting for Halara's excellence in brains and brawn.

Desuhiko - Taking the surname Thunderbolt to the extreme, he absolutely loves to hunt Zinogre. I associate Desuhiko with electric guitar motifs, so for Zinogre to also have electric guitar in its theme makes it all the better. I associate him most with Tobi-Kadachi though, the electric flying snake-squirrel simply fits him to a T. He managed to get the highest honor one can receive since Tobi is my favorite monster.

Fubuki - Her favorite monster is Velkhana! She likes to think of the icy elder dragon as royalty, so she treats the monster with utmost respect in battle, even if it means she often finds herself incased in ice for her chivalry. I feel like she reminds me of Mizutsune the most, since this monster appears harmless at first, but its bubbles are surprisingly deadly in unconventional ways by tripping up hunters.

Vivia - He's definitely the type of person who prefers not to hunt unless absolutely necessary, but when he does, he gravitates toward hunting Gore Magala. That is, until he tries to snuggle under one while using its fluffy wings as a blanket. And of course I associate the anemic vampire with the vampiric dragon Malzeno! Once a peaceful monster living in harmony with humans, its tranquility was destroyed while fighting for dominance against a powerful, demonic elder dragon. This battle forced Malzeno to form a symbiotic bond with parasitic leeches that infected it, something that Vivia would most likely sympathize with (and is definitely a plot point in the crossover AU).

Yakou - The chief achieves the greatest thrill when hunting Crimson Glow Valstrax. It's basically like fighting fire with fire with these two rocketeers. Maybe this monster even reminds Yakou of Yomi due to its title as the 'star of despair,' much like what the leader of Amaterasu has become over the years. It's certainly one way to take out his pent-up guilt and rage. I'm gonna cheat again by associating Yakou with Namielle. The sea dragon propaganda prevails!

#vivia would definitely try to nap alongside a gore magala and his teammates proceed to wordlessly freak tf out #he'd also get along well with espinas in that regard #sleepover with two highly dangerous dragons #boys night out #nocturnal hunters guild au #rain code #yuma kokohead #halara nightmare #desuhiko thunderbolt #fubuki clockford #vivia twilight #yakou furio

[rowanoftheunknown]

I fucking hated the proposal actually

#its just... like why would you do that. to like the only good poly representation we have #ah yes the symbol of being trapped in heteronormative hell and societal expectation #a theme that comes up constantly to show that our protagonist is uncomfortable and unhappy #lets make our gay poly couple get married im sure that wont come off as fucking out of left field #as a poly person it felt pretty shit ngl #like they gave lucius and pete too many fuckable traits lets trap them in respectable matrimony so we dont freak out the normies #okay. cool. whatever #i loved their relationship so much #“we don't own each other” PROCEEDS TO GET MARRIED. OUR OLDEST SOCIETAL CONSTRUCT BASED AROUND OWNERSHIP OF SOMEONE #fuck off for actual #ofmd #idk why im main tagging it i just want like one person to agree with me

[freakbullet]

you are the only persom who understands how incredibly fuckable n'zoth is

dont get me wrong im not an old god simp but like. theyre so simpable. how do they not SEE. their eyes are not OPENED

their eyes remain closed to the true path 😔 "...not like you, my devoted chosen."

actual N'Zoth voice lines:

"You have always been mine"

"I claim this flesh"

"Such magnificent flesh"

"We are bound together... forever"

"Shun all who do not share our bond of flesh"

"My gift offers countless delights"

you CANNOT tell me he isn't dtf. just listen to that purr. just look at those bedroom eyes also... tentacles. got me like

need i say more

#using this hearthstone art because it charms me #genuinely crazy about him its very annoying #like i cant get over him. this ancient powerful eldritch god who seeks you out specifically #because he knows everything about you past present and future #and proceeds to just romance you to his side #giving you a special gift. telling you special secrets. giving you special quests. only you. because you're special to him 🥹 #lemme tell you. #i am not immune to old god dating sim #sorry for being thirsty on main. it will happen again #anyway thank you for this ask i think you sent it a very long time ago and i am so sorry #my inbox has no object permanence to me #but i appreciate it very much #freak speak #n'zoth my beloved #nsft txt

[caemthe]

the only CORRECT way to treat your Cú Chulainn ft the forehead kiss

#oc art.º #cu. ° ( lancer. ) #/ MUAH MUAH! 💋 #/ they kept appearing on my tl and it's so freaking adorable that i had no option but to hop on and make one for cú too #/ -proceeds to disappear for 3 days because i love how chibi cú turned out and now i can't take my eyes away from my art-

[weeping-parasite]

Yeah it’s all fun and games now but imagine the roars of hell that are gonna come out of your talking Spamton/Jevil plush when the batteries start dying

#i think at least a few of us have had a talking toy when we were younger #we find the damn thing several years later #and the voice/song/whatever is so slowed and pitched down and distorted that it’s unrecognizable and kinda scary #imagine that but with these fucklenuts #i was watching one of Matt rose’s videos on furbies #and it mentioned the voices becoming slowed and creepy when the batteries started dying #and then I realized ‘OH SHIT THAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO MY JEVIL ONE DAY’ #i just got the image in my head now of a little kid going into the attic and finding their great aunt’s old belongings #at the bottom of a box buried under clothes and other personal items is a little plush of a black and purple jester #the kid picks it up and messes around with it a little bit when they feel something hard in it’s hand #the kid presses on it and a low pitched demonic laugh comes out of the plush and echoes off the walls of the attic #kid freaks out and proceeds to have nightmares for weeks afterwards #that’s a core memory right there #I’ve gotten too deep into this shit #lmao #parasite babbles #spamton #jevil #deltarune

[plasky]

Smth I find really funny between my Lycan and Cuda in my JSaB AU (JSaB!Twins) is that if Lycan ever found out Cuda actually had a boss above him (Blixer) he would feel absolutely betrayed

like absolutely flabbergasted at the mere concept of a bigger boss than his boss!!!

#jsab #just shapes and beats #jsab lycanthropy #jsab lycan #lycan #its because in the files Blix is labeled as Boss¹ #and Barracuda is labeled as Boss² #Lycan would then proceed to like pack up his stuff and leave and then immediately return because he's a little stupid #Barracuda would probably freak out and search for Lycan immediately several minutes after him leaving #Blixer doesn't care #tbh Blixer didn't even really know these two existed apart from like their goons being like- #“yo boss man what new job do you want to give to the other two” #also Barracuda is the only hired one #Lycan just tagged along with Barracuda and has been there ever since

[teabutmakeitazure]

When you don't want to go to a hangout with your half snake friends so you're continuously making up excuses because your sibling is visiting after years and he just landed today but apparently now they're all mocking you for always being so busy and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#why. cant. people. just. take. a. freaking. hint. #i know u guys r trying to be nice and all but if im continuously making up excuses then u should understand that i dont want to come #cant someone just spend some time with family and try to work out their problems? #I'm sorry if i wasnt blessed with such understanding and lovely parents as u all #i have to literally fight for some stuff so stop being to stuck up #i kid u not theyre always going somewhere #and theyre always like omg ure so busy and whatnot #and after results were out they never even bothered to reply to my question of how result day went #and then they proceed to alienate me and make a different WhatsApp group without me just because i got good grades and dont go out as muc #much as them #it feels like im in a friend group of sassy 3rd graders #except its more drama and politics than sass #sorry that y'all had to read this lmao #hope it was somewhat interesting tho #zuri rambles