#*me freaking out over my apparently intense abandonment issues*

[beelspillowpet]

A Lesson in Love - A “Character Analysis” on Asmodeus

I had to come for the tracks, wigs, and weaves of bitches when Pomade dropped because I saw people talking shit about my boy. This was a milestone “project” or “reward” I guess?

I hit 400 followers today while I was out running errands!!! Thank you guys SO SO MUCH for the love and support! I can’t WAIT to produce more content for everyone!!!

Below the cut there WILL BE talk of season 3, as well as some talk of chapter 16. There’s a healthy amount of theorizing on his personality as well, I hope you don’t mind! This came out more like a plea to get people to change their minds about how Asmo really is, rather than a comprehensive essay of sorts. So here we go!

There’s something we apparently still need to talk about in this fanbase. The unrealistic idea of Asmodeus being a sex freak, and an unreliable person in general despite there being little proof of it. We need to set a few things straight about Asmo moving forward.

December 25th rolled around and Asmo’s audio drama and song were released. I take it everyone enjoyed both parts, as well as I did. My timeline both on twitter and tumblr were filled with Asmodeus content, as well as the other brothers and such. But I mostly got Asmo content. However, in peeks and cracks, if I looked hard enough, I still saw people who absolutely loathed Asmo or who were indifferent to him. Keep in mind; I think it’s okay. You don’t have to like everyone.

I’ve only joined the fanbase in September, but even I could tell some of these takes were old fashioned. I downloaded the game on October 17th, a very important anniversary for me, while I 

was still in bed in the morning. I blazed through the entire story of season 1 and now I am stuck in season 2, specifically in Chapter 24. I obviously don’t have every card of Asmodeus with his Devilgrams, but I have been analyzing his character over the past few days for this.

So needless to say, I have a considerable amount of information on him, as well as personal thoughts that may help some learn to love him. Or at the very least, from spreading a negative idea of him around as if it were true. Enough that should help clear his name, so to speak.

Let’s look at his title; Avatar of Lust. Now naturally the thoughts that come to your head are sex and other sexual bits. So I can understand how some people would come to the conclusion that he’s just a sex freak. But if you look under the surface of his title, like I’m sure you’ve had to for your own personal favorites (*cough* Lucifer, Belphie, and Satan ESPECIALLY) you would discover that Asmodeus is more than just about sex. In fact, sex takes up very little of his pass time, if you were to believe it!

In recent chapters, as I’ve been told, Asmodeus doesn’t really get around much anyways:

Granted, this was said while in Celestia, but I imagine not much has changed for him since his fall, as well as his brothers.

Not really comfortable being with just anyone, huh…? Sounds like someone who doesn’t have sex so warily often as you’d think!

Being lustful can come in many shapes and forms. It can be merely in appearance, which Asmo is not afraid of doing. He’s very comfortable about skinship and it’s very apparent in how he dresses and acts that he wants you to adore his body. To worship it! Maybe not sexually, but aesthetically! Being lustful can mean just thinking about sex or sexual scenarios often, which if you take a peek at Asmo’s chat’s either with you or his brothers, is very apparent too.

Personally, I believe that people would assume he is not good in a relationship because he would have a “cheating problem”. I don’t think Asmo is a monster, just like I don’t think any of the brothers are monsters. They may be demons (technically fallen angels) now but they used to be angels too. Their falling out with their Father doesn’t mean they’ve completely abandoned morality, it was a rebellion for Lilith’s right to live. Not for them to sin as they pleased. For all we know they might have been fine in Heaven otherwise! (with the exception of Lucifer.)

A monster knows right from wrong and chooses evil anyways. An ignorant person doesn’t know right from wrong. Asmodeus is not a monster, nor is he ignorant.

When Asmo genuinely loves you, I think he would take steps to calm down that side of him, if it were to exist. Lust is fairly limited, but it is a part of love to some extent. LOVE is vastly different. Love has many languages, and they aren’t all spoken either. For me, personally, I found that Lucifer’s love language can be either very direct, or roundabout so as to not let it go to your head, for an example. Asmo is just far more direct about his care for you.

I feel as though Asmo gets a lot of crap constantly for his presumed nature and because we don’t get to see much else of him at first, especially in season 1, his impression on us sort of stays. With most of the fanbase either somewhat new to the game or somewhere lost in the sea of the difficulty curve that is season 2, we can only assume based on what we’ve seen, and what others have headcanoned about him.

Let’s break and talk about Satan for a moment; this is going somewhere.

I’m led to believe that Satan can control his sin fairly well. He’s easy to get irritated, sure, but he isn’t as much of a walking ball of rage as I suspected. I would argue that, aside from Leviathan, Satan can handle his sin the best out of the brothers. But again, we’re forgetting about Asmo. The Avatar of “Lust”. Like I’ve shown before, he doesn’t really sleep around a lot, according to anon.

At worst, Asmo being flirty is through text and he’s not actively trying to sleep with you. It can be interpreted that way, but for me personally, it comes down to having a friend that is very up close and in your personal space.

(I myself am one of these types of people. Having ADHD, my social cues are always sort of off, and I’ve struggled with coping with it for years. With my best friend, we have seen each other naked countless times and have slept in the same bed as well. We were never romantic with each other. We were just very comfortable being close and personal with each other.)

I’d like to point out also that Asmo isn’t even there for most of season 1 too. Which can give you the idea that maybe he just was out sleeping around a lot, but to me he probably just went out partying a lot. You don’t get known that fast for sleeping around. Maybe in 5,000 years, sure, but I’d imagine being a party boy, as his Devilgram “Guided by Desire” suggests.

So the idea that Asmo isn’t in the house a lot because he’s out having sex all the time isn’t true is it? He’s probably just out partying, which can LEAD to sex with someone sure, but again, Asmo doesn’t feel comfortable doing that, now does he?

I feel like of all the boys, Asmo is the one who radiates with everyone else the most. Most people will never realize how surreal it is that Asmo is faking it until he makes it. He doesn’t always think he’s beautiful, or that he’s worth all the love he’s striving and straining to get. Something that is extremely relatable for a lot of people with self-worth issues. Asmo is just like that, but instead being sarcastic and self-deprecating, he simply works to make himself look as beautiful as possible, so that in his eyes, his beauty matches the affection he gets.

Which is why, when he falls in love with you, it’s strange. You are constantly telling him he’s nice and pretty, but you aren’t lusting after him. You’re just being nice. It may just be me, but when people are overly nice just for the sake of being nice, I’m very attracted to that. That is Asmo, to some extent. The fact that he reflects the insecurities and habits of others so clearly may make others uncomfortable, but that brutal honesty veiled behind insecurity is what a lot of people with self-image issues deal with.

Now for me to share my favorite personal idea for Asmo that completely changed how I saw him in season 1 onwards; Asmodeus is an empath. Now let me explain:

First, what is an Empath?

The term empath comes from empathy, which is the ability to understand the experiences and feelings of others outside of your own perspective. Seems simple, right? Everyone can do this to some extent. However, what makes you an empath is the fact that empaths genuinely feel the same pain as you do. So much so your experience becomes a very personal part of their own. They are capable of being able to feel other people’s emotions without them speaking, or even showing signs of it through their body language.

This would explain, for me personally, why there’s so little of him in season 1. The intensity of what goes on in the house, his sensitive soft-spoken mannerisms, the only time he truly gets mad is when he’s childishly arguing with Mammon? Asmo is afraid of true conflict, he’s afraid of violence and negative emotions. Let’s face it; everyone is indifferent or hates you at the start of the game.

While this changes fairly quickly, all the intense feelings come to a head in chapter 16. All those negative emotions swirling around, of course Asmo isn’t going to want to be in the house when it’s that intense. The attic didn’t just disappear completely, too. Belphie was still in the attic hating humans. That negative emotion could be affecting Asmo and he didn’t know why, so he could have been out of the house more.

Where Asmo can feel the emotions of others, it may mostly be the negative ones because they fill him with anxiety and panic if it persists. Which can be helpful in making him so urgent to want to make others smile and feel better, right?

Imagine being intimate with Asmodeus, and suddenly you aren’t in the mood for it anymore but don’t want to make things awkward. He could pick up on it in an instant and wouldn’t get mad because he understands how you feel completely.

Now to close this out about something that genuinely hurts me; Asmodeus is a narcissist.

I mean, the wiki says that he is, but personally? No, no he isn’t. Since when is loving yourself a bad thing? Sure he may go a bit far sometimes, but people with self-image issues need to go a little harder than the rest to make sure they're getting the love they need.

(Talking about myself AGAIN, but I do this a lot. At random, I will look up in my own mirror in front of my desk that I sit in front of all day and tell myself I am a cute bitch. I am VERY VERY cute and anyone would be lucky to have someone as drop dead gorgeous as myself. I say that a few times a day. In reality, I am very insecure about my looks. I do believe I’m cute, but sometimes it’s hard to say it. Which is why I force myself. Why wouldn’t Asmo do the same?)

Talking yourself up to be as beautiful as a sex god is no easy task, but Asmo isn’t the Avatar of “Lust” for no reason. When an insecure girl talks up her beauty, it’s her being strong and independent. When Asmo does it, its narcissism… it doesn’t really seem fair, now does it? Maybe he’s just an insecure person who needs to tell himself ALL THE TIME that he’s beautiful. That if he stares at his reflection long enough, he may see it too.

(Also, Simeon literally calls him out on being insecure. Insecure people tend to try and overcompensate where they feel they’re lacking.)

”Asmodeus is hinted to be insecure and seeking for love and attention. When Simeon was asked about what he thought of Asmodeus, he says that Asmodeus is still trying to fulfill the role of the angel he used to be; an angel that was adored and loved by many. Asmodeus laughs at Simeon's remark and brushes it off by saying that he is only jealous.” - A section from said Asmodeus Wiki.

People can choose to love or hate Asmo, obviously. Making things up about his character without having anything but speculation and having that dictate how he acts is plain silly. This entire “essay” if you can call it that, comes from the heart. I love Asmo as a character, and in the beginning he did make me uncomfortable, I didn’t like him that much. But I learned to look past that and figure out why he acts the way he does. Something didn’t sit right with me about him for a while, and it was that air of insecurity that I didn’t see at first.

All I can really ask for, is giving Asmo another chance as a character. He’s not as wild and wacky as Mammon, or as cool and sexy as Lucifer, or as edgy and precious as Belphie, but he matters in this story too. He fell from grace with his brothers for Lilith. Give him another chance, and let him show you that he is the Avatar of Love.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #om! #om! swd #om! asmo #om! asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #Thanks for 400 followers!

[carriagelamp]

April l was apparently the month for me to revisit some children’s authors who are steeped in controversy at the moment. So here’s my hot (well, lukewarm) takes on issues that absolutely do not need a single other person talking about them. Also some actual good books that I read this month!

Badger in the Basement

The Animal Ark books are a childhood classic — though I recently found out that apparently there’s a difference between American and British publications, and the American versions didn’t include a lot of actual COOL animals which is… bizarre. As a Canadian stuck in the middle of this, this nonsense drives me nuts. This one was about the main character, the daughter of pair of vets, trying to protect a local badger sett from men wanting to participate in badger digging and baiting. These books are always feel-good, and it was a nice single-day-read while I waited for a library book to come in.

Chi’s Sweet Home

The cutest manga series about the misadventures of a little kitten, Chi, who has been adopted by a loving family. I’ve never bothered to read them in order, but apparently this time I stumbled across the last in the series -- whoops! Still, stood on it’s own pretty easily, and it was a fun read! Things get tense when the family realize that they may have found Chi’s original home… and may have to give up Chi forever.

Earth Before Us: Dinosaur Empire!

This was an odd graphic novel, I feel like I’m not sure who the target audience was exactly. It was a nonfiction comic done in a Magic School Bus style, with the purpose of teaching current, up-to-date facts about the animals that lived in the Mesozoic Era. If you’re into dinosaurs, you’ll probably enjoy this! The art is absolutely adorable, I love the dinosaur illustrations, and I learnt some really neat facts. That being said, the pages are really dense, and there’s a lot of info crammed in… some of it will probably go way over a child’s head without specific additional teaching or a very strong personal interest. But that being said, a dinosaur obsessed kid is still probably going to really dig this… as would a dinosaur obsessed adult. It wasn’t my cup of tea exactly but I’m sure it is someone’s.

assorted Dr Seuss Books

I love these types of controversies because it means getting to listen to every moron who has never had an opinion on Dr Seuss ever start generating a mile of them out of the aether. So many people are so mad about the six books that are getting retired and I bet most of them haven’t even read them. These are not the friggin Cat In The Hat or The Lorax or even the likes of Yertle The Turtle. I was raised by a grade one teacher, was a voracious reader who loved Dr Seuss, and wrote my university thesis on children’s literature, and I still only knew two of the six books on that list. So by all means, if you want to write an essay explaining why those specific books are worth clinging to, feel free, but if you haven’t even heard of them maybe it’s not a big deal. *grumble*

Anyway, my grousing aside, it gave me the urge to reread a bunch of Seuss books, including the two retiring books I personally knew: McElligot’s Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street. I do still enjoy both, especially McElligot’s Pool which always sparked my imagination, but it’s obvious why they’re being retired and I personally think it’s the right choice. There’s so much good kidlit out there, we can survive without these.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden

A f/f romance manga, fairly standard fair though cute if you’re looking for some historical angst, pretty dresses, and mutual pining. A young Japanese woman moves to England in the hopes of meeting a writer (Mr Frank) who she has long admired. Along the way she is employed by an enigmatic woman with plenty of money, rumours, and melancholy following her. I’ll be honest, uncut romance isn’t really my genre, but I’ll probably still try to the second book to see if the story picks up.

From The Holocaust to Hogan’s Heroes: The Autobiography of Robert Clary

It’s no secret that I’ve been on a Hogan’s Heroes kick. This is the autobiography of Roberty Clary, who plays my favourite character in the show, Louis Lebeau. And holy shit what a life this man has had. He was a Jew growing up in France before the start of the war, and who was one of many children taken away from his family and sent off to the concentration camps in Germany. This was an amazing, intense, inspiring, and heartbreaking read… it has Clary’s voice all over it, and it tells everything from the charming childhood he had, to the horrors of the concentration camps, the brutality of survival, and then about his exciting journey into the entertainment industry afterwards. It’s an experience, would recommend if you’re a fan of the show.

The Ickabog

The second controversial author I read this month. Originally I was going to give Rowling’s new book a miss, given everything that’s been going on over the past few years, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me. Politics aside, it was a fun read! Not groundbreaking, but enjoyable enough and written in an interesting style. It didn’t read the same as a lot of modern kidlit, it felt more like a cross between a classic fairytale and a Dahl book. Perhaps a bit like Despereaux. It tells the tale of how an idyllic country gradually falls into ruin through the ignorance, inaction, and greed, and how a supposedly fictional monster hides the very real, human monsters at the heart of the country. It was cute and pleasant and I’m glad I decided to get it from the library, though for anyone who is choosing not to engage for political reasons: you aren’t missing anything major.

Franklin In The Dark

A Canadian classic. I don’t think there’s a single person my age who hasn’t read or been read a pile of these books, and the nostalgia is so comforting. I found this on Youtube and listened to someone read it to me, and honestly 10/10 would recommend for a calm evening.

The big reason I decided to seek this one out though, was because I finally got to the M*A*S*H episode that inspired this entire series! In the episode C*A*V*E, in which Hawkeye is freaking out over his claustrophia while the camp is forced to take shelter in a nearby cave during some intense shelling, he mentions that if he had been born a turtle he would have been afraid of his own shell, and that the other turtles would make fun of him cause he’d be forced to walk around in his underwear. And so this first story about a young turtle who’s afraid to sleep in his own shell and drags it around behind him. So if you were ever curious, Franklin the Turtle is in fact named after Dr Benjamin Franklin Pierce. (this is also why the French version is named Benjamin!)

Wolves of the Beyond: Lone Wolf

I loved the Guardians of Ga’Hoole books as a kid but I never read the Wolves of the Beyond series. This first book was an interesting read, Lasky does a great job creating worlds and societies for the animals that inhabit them. Lone Wolf is about a deformed wolf cub who was abandoned in the wilderness to die. And he would have, if a desperate mother bear, who had recently had her only cub killed, hadn’t stumbled across him and saved him, vowing to raise him as her own...

Petals

A “silent” graphic novel. It has beautiful artwork and is told entirely through pictures, no text at all. It’s loves and heart-wrenching, though it left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied… I felt like there should have been more. Still, a neat story.

The Southern Book Club‘s Guide To Slaying Vampires

What a banger of a novel!! I can’t recommend this one enough. It’s about a group of suburban mothers in the ‘80s who form a book club out of a shared need for community and a love of grisly true crime novels. But when a strange drifter appears in town and starts setting down roots… and when children begin disappearing… these women need to band together to confront the horrors that have invaded their neighbourhood, and face down not only a terrifying monster among them but the patriarchal system that allows it to flourish. To quote the preface:

“Because vampires are the original serial killers, stripped of everything that makes us human — they have no friends, no family, no roots, no children. All they have is hunger. They eat and eat but they’re never full. With this book, I wanted to pit a man freed from all responsibilities but his appetites against women whose lives are shaped by their endless responsibilities. I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom.    As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.“

The Weirn Books: Be Wary of the Silent Woods

I love Chmakova’s graphic novels, though I’ve only ever read her slice-of-life middle grade series before. This one is pure fantasy and very fun. It’s about two cousin “weirns” — witches with demon familiars — who attend the local night school. Things get strange though when an ominous figure appears outside the old, abandoned school house deep in the Silent Woods, and begins tempting children down its path…

I’m very much looking forward to word of a second book and was honestly kind of surprised that I haven’t heard more about this book given how popular her other series is. This has all the same charm and quirks but for those of us who prefer stories based in fantasy rather than reality.

And A Bonus...

For some masochistic reason I got a Garfield book out of the library. Jeez, if I didn’t love these as a kid, I found them absolutely laugh out loud hilarious, and now I just don’t see it anymore. But here I will share the one strip in the book that actually made me laugh

#book review #book reviews #chatter #dr seuss #hogan's heroes #robert clary #the southern book club's guide to slaying vampires #animal ark #dinosaur empire #the weirn books #svetlana chmakova #canadian literature #canlit #kidlit #children's literature #wolves of the beyond #mash #franklin the turtle #chi's sweet home #manga #goodbye my rose garden #kathryn lasky #the ickabog #jk rowling

[the-velveteen-victorian]

Hi Elle! I used to follow you on your old mega-popular tumblr. I really love your new one. :) I know that you've lived in a "super spiritual" community for several years now (not sure if you want me to publicly say the place). What is the community like? Is it more bad than good? What are some strengths and weaknesses of the place/people? Thank you! I've heard mixed things and really respect your insights.

Haha I knew I would get this question one day! If I could title my response, it would be, "Why I've Chosen to Keep My Distance from the New Age Community in the American Southwest." I info-dump and write novels, so get ready! =)

I think there is something to be said for defining things neutrally for yourself overall. Fortunately, I've been able to easily do that in this instance due to: 1. Being introverted and not "needing" a big community experience and 2. Having wonderful friends all over the globe that I am able to interact with all throughout my year. With that being said, if I am being 100% honest and real with you, I truly believe that the new age community where I am is more toxic than good. Here is why. I will have a positive note at the end.

A quick preface: I am not calling out any particular individual(s) and will not be naming names.... quite frankly, there are just too many and I'm not here to humiliate people. Secondly, these traits can take place in ANY community, spiritual or otherwise. But these are things that I feel a spiritual community should be more self-aware of... and sadly right now, they are not.

********ATTENTION: There is a big content and trigger warning here: There will be mentions of sui****, sexual *******, and gaslighting/narcissism, terfs, eating disorders, and other things that could be very upsetting. Proceed with caution and stop reading if you find yourself getting stressed, triggered, or deeply upset.*********

1. Malignant narcissism and community insulation from constructive criticism. I have never seen such a ubiquitous display of malignant narcissism in all my life in a collective, save for some conservative Christian environments in my growing up years. Go onto almost any youtube channel for the Sedona community and you will see very few negative comments… why? (And I have watched this for a long time) Almost ANY criticism of anyone’s channel or blog is instantly removed. There was a time when people who simply noted that some of these small “influencers” were saying toxic things were sent cease and desist letters. The community is very tight knit and displays many marks of a cult. One of these indicators is that they all protect each other and hype each other up on their channels and blogs, while labeling ANY criticism (healthy or not) as someone who is being “triggered.” The younger part of the community cares about looking perfect and having everyone worship them, but has very little spiritual substance. It’s always about who did the alien thing “before it was cool” or “who can do a backflip off of a steep cliff without breaking their neck because their synchronicity is on point.” One youtuber said once that she only wanted to hang out with “pretty” people because they were purer expressions of the divine. The older generation expresses narcissism by assuming they know more than everyone else. Good luck having a conversation on controversial topics with any of them. They are right, you are wrong. If you argue, you are “triggered” and “seeking for truth.” If you don't believe that there are reptilians on the moon with a secret base, you've drunk the kool-aid. Not a good environment to foster open sharing and knowledge. The men have a particular problem with this when it comes to topics of sex and intimacy. If you are a woman and don’t want to “surrender” to your partner (in a lot of vague and unclear ways), you are out of alignment with the divine feminine. Most of the men believe that they should be allowed to "hunt" (look for sexual partners/spiritual twin flames) and that women should do everything in their power to be softly feminine so that they can sync up and recognize each other's souls.

2. A full denial of science and medicine. Look, I get it. We all want to solve our own medical dilemmas and use herbs to cure all ills. I try to solve any (non life threatening) health issues I have the “natural” way first too… often, I have great success! The problem comes when the community rejects all western medicine, most science (that doesn’t affirm their beliefs) and any medical opinion that has… actually been to a real medical school. There is a strong anti-vaccination movement coupled with the belief in using yoni eggs religiously and doing colonics every week (though science tells us this isn’t a great idea overall). I used a different type of yoni egg for awhile to see what would happen, but trust me, your pelvic health is going to be better without them. You will be judged harshly for going to a “mainstream” doctor to get antibiotics for a serious infection and will most likely be gaslit into oblivion regarding “what you did to attract” your infection etc.

I have midwifed for many years now and have extensive “mainstream” training to be able to do this legally. Once, I was working with another midwife on a mother who was having her first baby. The laboring woman had an ideal birth in mind like most people do. Long story short, I discerned while she was laboring that the baby was in intense distress and that the mother was displaying very concerning signs of a life-threatening condition. When I insisted on calling an ambulance and getting the woman to the hospital, the other midwife said that I was interfering with nature. I explained simply that if we didn’t get said woman to a hospital, the baby would most certainly die and the mother’s life would hang in the balance. Her response was that: “Some babies don’t deserve to live and I shouldn’t invite karma by interfering with nature’s course.” I called an ambulance anyway and the mother was taken for an emergency c-section. The mother was very disappointed about not being able to follow her birth plan. However, after the birth (she and baby ended up being okay thank goodness) she sat down with me personally and thanked me for making the decision I did. She said that one of the doctors explained that if I had waited another hour, both she and the baby would be dead. Apparently, this other “midwife” had also had her license revoked a year before for endangering a different laboring person and child. This sounds like a stand-alone freak incident, but I can cite 15-20 other situations just like this one where life-threatening emergencies were viewed as opportunities for good karma and growth… and that western medical intervention would invite bad karma.

Regarding science, if you point to the fact that jade yoni eggs are likely to cause an infection, most of the new age community will scoff and say that they don’t trust science (the logic being that science once explained volcanos as angry gods or something and now cannot be trusted overall). If you don't wear blue-blocking glasses anytime you look at a screen, apparently you've already succumbed to mind control. You get my point… It’s so bad that the new age community is willing to endanger people’s lives and place the blame on the victims for being out of alignment with synchronicity. This one bullet point could be talked about for hours.

3. A lack of discernment and victim blaming. Many have heard about Bentinho Massaro and his crew from that time when they swept through Sedona a couple years ago. The core of the Sedona community started blindly following him… some of them wanted to boost their online platforms by being associated with a well-known figure. Others wanted a guru… and others were just curious and got sucked in by his charisma. All one had to do was google him. He has allegations of physically beating his followers, gaslighting people, torturing animals in his childhood, and ignoring the fact that an alarming number of his followers commit suicide. With all of this knowledge at our fingertips, the popular new age “influencers” went so far as to get in polyamorous relationships with him, validate his platform, and gaslight people who, sadly, committed sui**** because of certain things he said in his teachings. It was insane. Now, many of the people who followed him try to pretend it never happened or that they had no part in it. Many of them claim to have “gifts of the spirit” and to have stellar discernment.

One of the people who got into a polyamorous relationship with this person did an Instagram post where she basically said that if someone is being r*ped they should show their attacker love and surrender to what is happening so that they could experience unconditional love and come back to the "light." I honestly couldn’t believe what I was reading at first when I saw it. The part that was heartbreaking was when I read the comments and watched people (not just women and men) berate themselves for “fighting” while something terrible happened to them in the past. A few of them were teenagers. I made it a point to personally message the ones I was able to, and thankfully, a good number did respond positively. This exact issue has occurred on youtube channels, blogs, and in-person encounters. I’m just citing ONE online instance of this horrible, misaligned belief. Keep in mind that the person who did this post abandoned her disabled child with a family she barely knew to pursue a sexual relationship with Bentinho.

4. TERFS/anti-LGBTQ/anti-feminism. This falls under the categories of relationships, sex, autonomy, and social issues, but expands into much more overall.

A chain of videos came out a couple years ago where about 5 women in the new age community each did a presentation on what was wrong with the “divine feminine” these days. They were saying that women had been erased because they were not conforming to gender roles or seeking out conscious relationships. They all referenced that “women are angry” and basically said it was wrong for women to feel this way and that angry female energy was throwing our whole environment out of balance and even contributing to global warming somehow. They empathized with toxic people/men/known violent incels and said that women needed to get over their traumas and be more available for the divine masculine to show up. They dehumanized women by saying they shouldn’t be expressing anger, glossed over sexual a******, and blocked everyone in the comments who took a stand against what they were saying. The general consensus is that feminists are just angry women who need to get over their trauma.

Many people in the new age community also believe that if you incarnate in a particular body with certain biological parts, you incarnated that way for a reason. Changing it extensively is to erase “the spiritual lessons you were supposed to learn.” Basically, they stand against trans people, nonbinary people, gender nonconforming people… etc. I can go deeper with this if you want, but that is the gist of it without writing a novel within a novel.

Most of them take an active stance against intersectional feminism and use exclusive language to shut out anyone who doesn’t conform to the binary. A few of them are more passive-aggressive about how they do this: refusing to show any support for the LGBTQUIA+ community or mention social issues at all, even when someone is pointing out that they did something hurtful or offensive.

5. Appropriating Indigenous cultures and using past lives as an excuse. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard a white new age person say that something is their “spirit animal” or seen one wear Native American/indigenous headdresses to tight-knit community events, citing that they were “Native American” in their past life and that they are entitled to use these symbols, items, and cultural lexicons because of it. (Not that this is the main point… but they tell trans people that they shouldn’t be trans or insinuate that people should conform to the gender binary because they incarnated in a body type for a reason… but make an exception for themselves culturally? Super hypocritical.)

A couple of “woke” guys from the new age community walked around for awhile saying that the Hopi had adopted them into their “tribe” and that the were given Hopi names. I spoke to a few Hopi people about what was happening and they were shell-shocked. That is not something that they do for one thing, and for another, they had never even heard of these people! Thankfully, the behavior stopped after the two men were confronted about it, but this kind of thing happens all the time in various ways. There is a new age store here with a racial slur in the title… bring it up to the owner and she’ll kick you out and launch a smear campaign. Tell one of the white new age women that just because she studies “different traditions” doesn’t mean it’s okay to do rain dances or perform indigenous rituals (Native American, Australian, and others) without permission and they’ll blacklist you. I think many of the new agers operate within this Trojan horse of “I want to accept and validate all cultures”, but do not actually care at all about indigenous voices, feelings, or opinions. Many of them talked a lot about collective trauma in our nation during Black Lives Matter, but wouldn’t actively support it in any way themselves.

6. Let’s talk about mental health. This could go under the science and medicine label, but I think it deserves its own paragraph. Boy is mental health stigmatized in the new age Sedona community…. Real mental health professionals are painted as people who just want to “drug” you and keep you controlled. People with mental health struggles are instantly blamed. “Hell is just a state of mind, you need to change your mind,” is a phrase I have heard more often than not. Ancestral healing, umbilical healing, and random reiki sessions are somehow supposed to take the place of a licensed counselor.

A huge chunk of the “spiritual” community supported a pseudo-therapist who (without any scientific basis) was preaching that any woman who wasn’t sure if she wanted to have children or not by the age of 25 was toxic and needed to be ostracized because “something is wrong there.” A bunch of people believed it and re-posted/shared the teaching.

Another instance occurred where an unlicensed “hypnotherapist” without so much as a bachelor’s degree in anything was using questionable methods to hypnotize clients. During one session a person experienced a severe PTSD flashback and panic attack. She was not brought out of the hypnotherapy session properly or cared for. She ended up having a mental breakdown and having to spend time in the hospital. The charlatan who was treating her said that the client was willfully unresponsive to treatment and refused to confront her demons…

Anyone who is on anxiety medication, anti-depressants or anything else to support their well-being and mental health will be judged aggressively and most likely verbally confronted at some point if they are open about being on medication. The charlatans will throw essential oils into your space saying that they can cure anything. Others will try to get someone to talk to a new age leader in the “inner circle” and attempt to persuade the client that western therapists/psychologists just want to drug people and ignore the spiritual cause of unrest. They’ll cite earthing, crystals, vaginal wands, special teas, dietary habits, and color therapy as causes and answers to everything…. All while regarding victims of sui**** as unfortunate souls and lost causes etc.

7. A summary. I need to sum up other issues here quite quickly or I’ll be typing all day. XD Many of the women here are terrified of gaining weight or looking older. They hide behind the thinning veil of “health and veganism” to justify their worrisome habits to feel sexually appealing to supposedly “woke” men. Disordered eating and terror of eating one granule of processed sugar permeates the consciousness. You can be judged for anything from buying pokemon cards to eating legumes…. of all things. Most of the men are sexual predators who prey on younger women, rely on narcissism as a personality type, and don’t let anyone get a word in edgewise when their opinions are challenged. Many of the women validate these behaviors and blame themselves when they get hurt citing “spiritual growth” as a silver lining to cure all traumas. I would say that 95%+ of the people in the community present a perfect picture of themselves online while having crumbling relationships and failing inner lives. You might see a post or video about “conscious uncoupling” of a spiritual "power couple" and then find out later that someone was in a relationship with a narcissistic predator or was experiencing physical abuse. Sadly, many of the victims gaslight themselves in the uncoupling announcement. Many people here are predators in other ways… they might launch a health business that uses essential oils to replace therapy. There are con artists all over the place who can range from simply overpricing their wares in alarming ways to trying to entrap people in “business contracts” that devastate their lives. I have had personal UFO experiences here and do personally think that extraterrestrial life exists, but I would NEVER try to manufacture a fake experience… One of the UFO tour guides was having people hide out in the desert and flash lights into the sky while people on the tour wore special glasses. Then she was charging an arm and a leg to channel “spiritual messages” from the e.t.s for her clients and saying that if they didn’t receive the message, something bad would happen to them. This is the fluffiest and lightest post I could possibly do to communicate how bad it is in the “spiritual community” here. This is only the tip of the iceberg.

The good news? Sedona is so much more than a toxic new age community. It is GORGEOUS and it does have many good, healthy/normal people here. =) I have had such a beautiful experience in this place and can’t say enough good things about it. I have easy access to healthy foods, endless nature to explore and bask in, and a growing community of people who call the new age community out on its toxicity. I read what I want, play Animal Crossing without blue-blocker glasses, regularly enjoy going to listen to goth music at my preferred venue (I’ve been demonized for this lol), and eat what makes me feel good. My partner and I have had a beautiful and successful relationship for nearly a decade now and create amazing memories every day. We have good friends all around the world… and I have a solid, BIG group of academic colleagues/friends locally who DO ethically cite their sources and contribute positively to science and higher learning. If you’re into paleontology like me, you are in fossil heaven! =D If you love astronomy or astrophysics, we’re in a dark sky city! There are so many cool things to do from playing in LOTR-worthy waterfalls, to sampling delicious vegan creations, to playing DnD on red rocks with your friends while a *real* UFO passes by overhead. Get yourself a smoothie and organic wrap from one of our incredible food trucks and drive out into the desert while listening to Nightvale with your love or your friends. =)

If you ever want a list of must-do’s while visiting, let me know. I’ve got your back! The point is that I just harped on the negative above, but the good news is that you can completely avoid all of the junk. Keep it or scrap it when it comes to the Sedona new age community? I say scrap it. But you can still pursue your spiritual interests in healthy ways here while enjoying all the yummy creature comforts that the Verde Valley has to offer. I hope this helps and if just one person comes here and has a safe experience because of my thoughts, then every moment I’ve spent writing this was worth it. =) <3

#new age #toxic community #sedona #cults cw #trigger warning #red rocks #narcissismawareness #mental health #cult leader

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back Part 14

Montgomery and I were curled up in my bed one Friday night watching The Mortal Instruments. We paid attention to most of it but there were definitely some parts we missed. Damn is he a good kisser. We missed the credits starting. “That was good.” Monty muttered as he pulled away from me.

“Very.” I agreed, though I don’t know if we meant the movie or the rather intense make out session. “I think the book is still better though.”

“I think they could have slowed down the pace some. It seemed a little rushed.”

“Okay fair, but I don’t see how that would make a difference. The book is still better than the movie. They cut out so much stuff.”

“How much could they have cut Addison?” I raised my brow and got up from my bed. I grabbed the book from my shelf and tossed it at him.

“Ow. That hurt you know.”

“No wonder we lose so much. None of you know how to catch things.” I joked.

“Is that a dig Doll?” he smirked and stood.

“Maybe. What are you going to do about it, Casanova?”

“I can think of a thing or two.” He shook his head and leaned down to kiss me. Pulling me closer, we fell back onto my bed and rolled around. His kisses quieted my giggles in case my parents heard us and came to check on me.

“Addy?” a voice called. We froze. My eyes went to my door on instinct. “Addy.” Not the door. Too quiet to be the door. “Are you awake?” The whisper call came once again. Monty and I immediately turned to the window, alarmed. Justin. I climbed off my bed and pulled my shirt off. Sneaking towards my window, I opened it and stuck my head out a bit. Not enough for Justin to see anything, but enough for him to hear me.

“Just a minute, I’m getting dressed.” I shut it again and turned back to Monty. “Hide! You need to hide.” Monty spread his arms wide, motioning around the room. He was clearly freaking out.

“No shit. Where?”

I motioned to my closet. “In there. Quickly. And stay quiet.” I messed up my hair some more as he dove for my closet and shut the door. One look in the mirror showed me how red I was. Oh well. Hopefully he’s not in the mood to chat. Opening the window, I waved him up. He tossed his bag on my previously occupied bed.

“Thanks. Mom is on another bender.” I squeezed him tightly and stepped back.

“Sorry, I was watching a movie and I must have fallen asleep.” Justin sat on my bed and I tried to keep my eyes from widening. Lying is so much easier when he’s not hiding in my closet. “So you can stay here tonight, but you have to stay in the guest room.”

My best friend rose his brow at me, suspiciously. “Uh. Okay, why? I’ve never had to before.”

“Because my dad has decided to give a shit this week?” I shrugged. “He thinks you could get me pregnant or something. You know, with all the sex we don’t have.” Justin shrugged understandingly. Thank God.

I took him to the guest room and get him all tucked into bed. I climbed onto the bed beside him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what? The fact that my mother is an addict? Or the fact that I have to come hide out at my best friend’s house every other week?”

“Any of it, Justin. You don’t deserve to deal with all of this.”

“I know that Addy. I don’t have much choice though. She’s my mom.” The crack in his voice and his eyes filled with tears, broke my heart.

I nodded and pulled the broken boy in front of me into my lap. “You know I’m always here for you. No matter what. We don’t have to talk anymore, okay?” He nodded against my lap. I pet his hair in a sad attempt to soothe him. We sat like that for a while until I knew he was asleep. The quiet snoring told me everything I needed to know about his evening. I kissed his forehead and went back to my room. Leaning against the door and sighing deeply, I was startled to find Monty lounging on my bed.

“You came back.”

“Yeah.”

“Gone a while.”

“Yeah.” It’s my house. I can be gone as long as I want.

“Everything good?”

“I guess.” I shrugged. “Just Amber being Amber. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

“He really does stay here then?”

“Yeah. Was it not clear before?”

“It was. I just didn’t realize you would let him in if you had company.” I blinked at him. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the book that was still sitting on my bed, along with my laptop. Once they were on my desk I climbed into bed beside him.

“I’m not doing this at this hour. And we need to be quiet. So good night Monty.”

He scoffed. “Night Addison.” Monty was gone when I woke up.

We didn’t text the rest of the weekend and things were still tense between us at school on Monday. We basically ignored each other in the halls. Usually. we at least nodded to each other discreetly or I acknowledged his existence when I was roped into a conversation with Justin’s friends. In the middle of chemistry, he sent me a text. Are your parents going to be home after school?

Not for a while. Why?

Talk?

Fine. I rolled my eyes and slid my phone back in my bag. I furrowed my brow at the problem on the board and its ‘solved’ counterpart. I rose my hand. “Miss uh… Hawthorne?”

“The equation actually balances to 1H10Si10O15+30HCl, not 2H10Si10O15+30HCl2.” Our substitute looked frazzled at my correction. She turned around and went over the equation again.

“Yes, it seems you are correct. Thank you.” I smiled and nodded awkwardly. A few kids chuckled.

I beat my boyfriend to my house and made a coffee. The jiggle of the doorknob brought me out of my stewing. Monty walked in and watched me expectantly. “What.”

“You know what.”

“Justin? Really?”

“Yes Justin.”

“You’re mad that Justin came over on Friday night?”

“We were hanging out. I assumed that meant you wouldn’t just invite him in.”

I scoffed. “And what would you have had me do instead? Tell him to spend the night on the street or with Bryce?”

“I don’t see why he couldn’t stay at Bryce’s.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“You think I haven’t figured out that you crash here when you fight with your dad?” His eyes darkened a shade, but he didn’t respond.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Right. Sure. We can talk about that later.”

“Or we can not.”

“It wasn’t a suggestion. Since apparently you have an issue with Justin now, we have to deal with it because he isn’t going anywhere.” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t. Don’t roll your eyes at me.”

“K.” He scoffed.

“Amber is an addict. She’s not picky. When her boyfriend is in town, its meth. Other times its whatever she can scrape the money up for. So, he comes here when he doesn’t want to deal with it. Or when she’s too far gone to recognize him. Because he knows he’s safe here. How safe is he at Bryce’s place Monty?”

“Safe enough.”

“That’s crap and you can’t deny it.”

“Whatever Addy. I was under the impression that us time was us time but if Justin needs to be involved, you think we have a very different relationship than we do.”

“He’s not involved. And he will never be involved in the way you’re implying. He is my best friend Monty.”

“Sure. Friends.”

“Seriously? I’ve already told you that we are and have only ever been friends.”

“You were gone over an hour. A lot can happen in an hour.” Barf.

“If I was going to cheat on you with anyone, do you really think I would be stupid enough to do it while you are in my bedroom waiting for me? Also, as I’ve said many, many times, Justin and I are nothing more than friends.”

“Then what were you doing Addison?”

“We were talking. I was waiting for him to fall asleep. I always wait for him to fall asleep.”

“Still doesn’t explain why he couldn’t go spend the night at Bryce’s.”

“He’s done it before. And Bryce’s solution is to get him drunk or high so that he doesn’t have to deal with his problems.”

“Doesn’t sound like that bad of a way to deal with it.”

“You’re kidding, right? Justin dealing with his mom who’s high out of her mind by getting high is… not bad?” I blinked at him.

“On occasion no.”

“You… no. I’ve had to go pick him up from Bryce’s place. Trust me when I tell you it’s not pretty. So, to avoid that, he comes here.”

“Is this how it’s going to be?”

His question caught me off guard. “What do you mean?”

“Am I going to come second to Justin?”

“You… you don’t come second to him Monty. He’s been my best friend since I was a little kid. We need each other. And yes, sometimes that means he will need me while you and I are together. But I can’t just abandon him. You’ve been my boyfriend for all of three months. I’m not going to be that girl that just forgets about all the other relationships in my life because I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend I can’t tell anyone about, might I add. Which I’m completely okay with for now by the way. And as much as I don’t like him, Bryce and I are the only real constants in his life. He’s family.”

“Fine. I just didn’t realize how close you two are. It’s not exactly the easiest thing to deal with when your girlfriend basically has a second boyfriend.”

“You knew we were close going into this.”

“Yeah, I know. But that isn’t the point. I don’t want to be second to Justin Foley.”

“You aren’t. Justin is my best friend. He is the closest thing I have to a brother. He is going to be around. You are just going to have to deal with that. I’m not going to fight you on him.”

“Fine. I’ll try.”

“Thank you.”

“Bryce’s place is still an option though.”

“It is for you too.”

“I’m not doing this now Addison.”

“You want to sit here and complain about Justin showing up in the middle of the night like you haven’t been doing it since we started dating.”

“That’s low Addy.”

“Am I wrong Montgomery?”

“No but that’s low.”

“You think I haven’t noticed the bruises?”

“I’m not doing this Addison. Not now.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to. I’m not in the mood to discuss this.”

“But discussing Justin was fine. Whatever. And don’t try to say its two different things because it’s not.”

“Okay. I won’t.”

“I get that you’re upset and stuff and that’s fine. But you don’t get to sit here and act like you don’t do the same thing. That’s not fair.”

“Okay.” I realized he wasn’t going to budge on the topic.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

#cant go back #monty de la Cruz fanfic #monty imagine #monty x reader #monty de la cruz #montgomery de la cruz #montgomery de la cruz x oc #montgomery de la cruz imagine #montgomery de la cruz x reader #Justin Foley #ending fell a bit flat #I didn't know how else to end the fight #I know I didnt have the emotional maturity to end a fight better at 16 #Sorry it's so short

[alison-anonymous]

your blazing hair ♡ hades

Your Blazing Hair ♡ Hades Imagine

Requested: yes!! Thank you @anycsirp for requesting this! I adore soulmate AUs so this was an amazing idea in my opinion ;) 

Warnings: nope, unless you’re allergic to fluff or soulmate AUs :)

Summary: Soulmate AU in which you have a mark on your arm that is the color of your soulmate’s hair. 

♡♡♡

       You lived in a very... interesting world, to say the least.

       You lived in a world where soulmates existed. Not only that, but you were born with a marking on your arm that is the color of your soulmate’s hair, as if that would tell you everything you needed to know about this anonymous person. There had been many stories told about people finding out who their soulmate is almost instantly once they got the mark, living happy lives after marrying instantly and having five or more kids to sing cheesy duets into the sunset with... but there were also stories that didn’t quite have the same ending. You had heard stories about people never figuring out who their soulmate was due to the marking being so vague. There was also the occasional story in which they did find out who their soulmate was, but things didn’t end as well as they could have...

       Needless to say, you were a bit ambivalent when it came to figuring out who your soulmate was. You didn’t get your mark until you were sixteen. It was an extravagant blue flame that started at the green vein in your wrist and ended just above your elbow. You adored the shade of blue, and the spark of inspiration to find out just who your soulmate was (I mean, come on, how many people have naturally blue hair?) grew. But as time went on, you got more busy with your own story of working at Auradon Prep as one of the juvenile delinquent/retired Isler counselors (if you don’t want to be a counselor, you can change it to another worker at the school). Before you knew it, you were already well into adulthood and hadn’t even had a spare second to even look at the marking on your arm.

      It didn’t go unnoticed by the people surrounding you. Once the VKs showed up on the Isle and switched to good, Mal attached to your side like she was your long-lost daughter. You had helped her and the other VKs through their issues while they were still adjusting to life in Auradon, but Mal had always secretly been your favorite. She was the one who questioned you about the mark while the two of you were out on a bonding session. You knew she had a knack for spray painting, but obviously vandalism was prohibited within the school. So, you decided to take her to the outskirts of Auradon to the abandoned section of the city, sitting back on a broken lounge chair while she giddily covered the empty brick walls with her creations. 

       At one point while she was sitting next to you, inspecting her artwork, she glanced down at your exposed arm and raised her eyebrows. “Hey,” she gently nudged you. “How long have you had that tattoo for?”

      You looked down at the blue flame on your arm and pressed your lips together. “Since I was sixteen. It’s actually not a tattoo, it’s a mark you get to help you figure out who your soulmate is. Apparently, it’s supposed to be the color of your soulmate’s hair.” You chuckled softly to yourself at the unorthodoxy of it. Mal nervously laughed along with you, as a certain man popped up into the back of her mind. 

      “Have you figured out who that is yet?” She asked, green eyes shimmering with emotions. You shrugged.

      “I never had the time to even look for them,” you sighed, not being able to help the heavy feeling that pressed against your chest. You gently traced the marking softly, trailing from your wrist to your elbow. “But I don’t know, maybe it’s not really meant to be. I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about soulmates...” 

      Mal bit her lip and stared at you long and hard. She already had a pretty good idea about just who your soulmate might be, but she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Although... now that she was thinking about it... you might make a pretty cool step-mom. A smirk grew on her lips as she began to form a plan in her mind. 

      Your furrowed your brows at her mischievous expression. “Whatcha plotting?”

      She giggled wickedly, leaning back on her hands. “Oh, nothing.”

♡♡♡

      About three weeks later, Mal arranged a meeting with you and her father, Hades. He had been allowed to live at Auradon Prep since he was technically royalty, and she had thought it was about time you meet the notorious God of the Underworld. 

      You stood calmly next to Mal and Ben in the throne room as you waited for the soul stealer to arrive. For some reason, Mal and Ben kept exchanging knowing glances, but every time you questioned them about it, they simply just brushed it off as you being paranoid. It felt like hours as you stood there, waiting for this guy to walk through the huge double doors. You had no idea why you were so nervous, but something inside your stomach was flipping over and over. 

      Finally, the doors opened, revealing a very tall, very handsome man. He had slight, scruffy stubble, piercing blue eyes accented by thick eyeliner, a permanent evil smirk plastered onto his lips, and... electric blue hair that was eternally blazing. The second you laid your eyes on him, you felt... something. Something strong. It coursed through your veins and crowded your mind, sending shivers up your spine. That was when the realization finally clicked in your mind. You glanced down at the mark on your arm, and back up at the man who was approaching you.

      Oh my god. Hades was your soulmate.

      THE Hades.

      As in God of the Underworld, father of Mal Hades.

      OH MY FUCKING GOD. How was that even possible? Your mind began racing at a thousand miles per hour as he finally came to a stop right in front of you. His gaze lifted off from the ground, traveled up your body and finally rested on your face. His mouth fell open and his eyes widened to the size of saucers. 

      “H-Holy shit,” he stuttered out. If you didn't know any better, you could have sworn you saw little hearts swimming around in his irises. You felt a blush creep up your cheeks as you stared at him. He... wasn’t that bad looking. Not that bad looking at all. You barely knew him past the fact that he was the father of Mal, but already you felt such a strong pull to him it was almost enough to send you toppling down the small staircase leading up to thrones you stood in front of. But you held your ground. 

      Neither of you even noticed it when Mal and Ben giggled softly as you and Hades continued your intense staring contest. Finally, Ben cleared his throat and sliced through the silence. “Y/n, meet Hades. Hades, this is Y/n. She’s the retired Isler counselor here at Auradon Prep.”

      His voice was what finally broke you and Hades out of your shared trance, but the electricity in the air ceased to dwindle. Hades continued to stare intently at you as you awkwardly sent him a wave.

      “Hey,” he greeted verbally, but he didn’t seem entirely concentrated with his attention still fixed on... well, you. “So you’re the one who’s been helping my daughter out, right?”

      “That is correct,” you smiled, glancing to your side at Mal. “You have a lovely daughter.” Mal blushed slightly at your comment, but grinned at you nonetheless.

      “You’re pretty lovely too, darling,” Hades murmured. Your eyes widened in shock at what he just said. His eyes widened too at your surprise, and he looked as if though he were about to take it back until he chuckled lightly. “You know, I was gonna take that back, but it’s my honest opinion so I stand by it.”

      “You’re pretty bold, aren’t you?” You couldn’t help but giggle at this little banter you were engaging in. He seemed... different compared to everyone else. But his difference made him especially appealing to you, you realized. He sent you his signature smirk.

      “I steal souls for a living, love, I kind of have to be.” He winked at you, causing you to bite down hard on your lip to prevent from squealing. You bashfully looked down at the ground as Mal decided that would be a good time to wrap things up.

      “Well, I’m glad that you two finally got to meet each other but I’m afraid Y/n promised me another bonding session here soon, but maybe the two of you could go out to dinner sometime?” She sent a wink in Ben’s direction. 

      “Oh yeah, yeah,” Ben quickly caught on, plastering on a wide grin. “You know, it might be beneficial if the two of you got to know each other a little better. For Mal’s sake.”

      You already knew that they weren’t setting this up for Mal, but honestly? You didn’t really care. You had finally found your soulmate. A smile made its way across your lips as you looked down at him.

      “I’d like that a lot,” you giggled.

      “It’s a date then,” he nodded casually, but you were pretty sure he was freaking out on the inside too from the way he couldn't take his eyes off of you. “It was a pleasure meeting you, love.”

      “Pleasure to meet you too.” You smiled warmly as he hesitantly turned around and began to leave the room. As you watched his retreating form, you felt your insides melt with relief and happiness and love and such an intense joy you felt like you were going to explode! 

      Hades was your soulmate! But... wait a minute...

      OH SHIT

       You finally realized just as he had left the room that he still didn’t know that yet... 

       But, he still liked you anyway, so I guess it’s okay.

       For now ;) 

♡ a.a.

#Hades #hades x reader #descendants hades #descendants 3 hades x reader #descendants #descendants x reader #descendants imagine #soulmateau

[humanoidmindbox]

Us Vs. Them

Abstract

In this essay, I will be assessing my personal feelings and attitudes toward different and defined groups. During this analysis, I will be breaking up the population into four groups: Us, Them, Allies, and Enemies. These groups have been formulated by and based on the workings and fields of psychology, psychiatry, individuals with mental illnesses (including me) and how societal norms fit into issues raised in this paper. I hope you find this to be worthwhile and I hope this sparks the fire of your intellectual flame.

-‐----------------------------------------

The American population, in the terms of mental illness, psychology, and sociology, fall into one of four categories which are detailed below:

US

This group of people are those who suffer from profound mental illness. The affliction must be (Your illness doesn't have to be all of these things, but it must be most of them):

Chronic; recurring; cause suffering; affect your relationships with others; make it so you cannot keep a job; make it so you cannot function in society; possibly get government compensation for your illness; *been hospitalized in the psych ward; been arrested when your symptoms were active; reckless and/or impulsive behaviors; suicide attempt(s); and became violent when your symptoms were active. 

Them

These people are the majority of the population. They blindly follow pop culture and buy into what the masses are doing, believing, and saying. They do not have severe mental illness although they may be diagnosed with the garden-variety depression and anxiety. They have never been to inpatient for mental disorders, except maybe once, a long time ago. They will try to relate to you when it comes to mental health but they are just regurgitating what the trendy treatments and hardships are (the commonplace “social anxiety” is on the rage right now). In the inpatient hospital, the Them are the hospital staff. Especially the ones who give you the shot and put you in isolation. They are the ones who pink slip you and call the police. They think drugs are bad. You can’t truly trust Them. They don’t understand you and they probably never will. Most of Them are not hateful or mean. They are just ignorant, inexperienced, and constantly lecturing you or preaching to you. Most of Them view you as less-than, whether it is intended or not. 

Allies

Imagine a straight line down the middle of a square. This divides the “Us” and “Them” that we already went over. But directly on that line, not leaning to one side or the other, sits the “Allies.” The Us’s allies have most likely not gone to the mental hospital except maybe once, long ago. But they have a mental illness that brings them suffering. They may be in mental health treatment. They struggle almost every day and their behaviors reflect that. They are a part of society and will never and have never been deemed unfit to be a working part of society. They get along with others although they feel like no one completely understands them. They do not blindly follow all of pop culture’s rules and trends. They support the Us. We can trust them somewhat. They are our allies. 

Enemies 

The Enemies only exist within the “Them” group. They are the ones we must watch the most carefully and never trust. Most of “Us'' do not have many Enemies on the outside but we have plenty of Enemies on the inside (inpatient). The Enemies at the hospital are those who give you the shot after they have to hold you down when you’re screaming and thrashing around because you’re so fucking freaked out. They are the ones who put you in four point restraints and let you “tire yourself out.” On the outside, the police are the Enemy for apprehending you while they get a pink slip. They are anyone who pink slips you. The Enemy tells you that you’re crazy when you know you are doing well. They threaten the hospital and hang it over your head. The Enemy treats you unfairly because something that you cannot control or help is wrong with you. The reason why Them can never be fully trusted is because any one of Them could become the Enemy at any time.

-------------------------------------------------------

I first felt the “Us Vs. Them” divide when I started frequenting mental hospitals. And when I started showing signs of severe  symptoms of mental illness. In the hospital, you are a “rat in a cage” (Smashing Pumpkins song) with the staff holding the only key to get out. A drastic power imbalance exists between the staff and the patient: we are the prisoners and they are the guards. All we want to do is get out. All we want to do is go home. And if not home, then at least to a different, free place. 

When I had my major mental breakdown/manic episode of winter 2019, I had been taking my medications- they were just the wrong ones. In the cage, you must take your medications, whether you want to or not. Whether you trust Them or not. If you refuse medication, They take you to court and get a court order forcing you to take your medication while you are inpatient. 

There are some key ways that the “Us” and the “Them” are different in the mental hospital dynamic. They own your body: you are forced to take medications, you are locked in a box (hopefully not isolation). You can’t hurt yourself and if you do, you will stay longer (same goes for violence against others). They control your behaviors: They deem what is “appropriate” and “inappropriate” behaviors. If you break the rules surrounding these behaviors, you will get the shot, isolation, moved to a worse ward (for the more violent and disruptive patients), restraint holds, staying longer, or any combination of these events. The worst one I can think of is moving wards up a number. They try to brain-wash you: They say: “There is only one way to live life and we know the correct way to live it.” “The correct way to live is only what we arbitrarily and subjectively call “healthy coping mechanisms” and you must abandon all “unhealthy” ones in order to live life correctly and avoid being society’s pariah.” “Your only hope to be a functioning person is to abide by the teachings of CBT and DBT. All other methods will not work.” They have the opinion that their methods of recovery always  work and if you are not having positive effects from their treatments, you must be doing it wrong- they deny that their treatments do not work for everybody and fail to recognize that the “bad” coping mechanisms are the only way that certain people can get by.

When you are mandated as an inpatient in the hospital, you have no rights. They take away your rights as a person. They tell you where to go, what to eat, and they control how long you are in there, what medication you take, and worst of all- when you get put down like a dog with a shot or when you switch to a more severe level. You are treated like an animal in a cage, and there is nothing that you can do about it. Losing control of your own body to this degree leads to something inside of you breaking  and you turning into a feral animal (hospital song). After that happens (especially if it happens multiple times), you are never the same. 

There are laws to keep other people from harming you or your property. I believe that it is a good thing that these laws are in place and that they should be upheld. But there are also laws that are made to prevent you from harming yourself and I don’t think such laws should exist. Once again, I question what the authorities, our working society (Them) and the masses (Them) deem “harmful” and ultimately illegal.

Most people in society simply follow popular culture. They just look to what the majority of others do and follow suit. But they have blinders on: they don’t see that they come up with justifications and sorry attempts at reasons to back-up their choice to blindly follow the majority.

The authorities and society says:

Drugs = Bad→ Laws against it.

Self-harm = Bad→ No laws against it but there is intense societal disapproval and shaming connected to it.

*It is the least harmful on this list because it does not alter your mood or drastically change your brain chemistry for prolonged periods of time. But, apparently, it is the most shocking and the most taboo. 

Medication = Good→ Sometimes there are laws enforcing it.  

I believe all of these things can be good or bad depending on the specific person that it affects. Everyone is different and if you simply follow what pop culture’s opinion is on these issues without looking into them further, it shows ignorance, a lack of curiosity and exploration, rigidity, and a propensity towards the judgement of others. It often signifies that the “Them” in question is too weak to think for themselves and to withstand society’s brainwashing. 

I will never think of cutting or drugs as “bad coping skills.” “Good coping skills” consist of talking about your issues and crying according to the “Them.” And according to the hospitals, CBT, and DBT, good coping skills include activities like aroma therapy and drawing. But what do these things do? Nothing. You need a release or a change in the state of mind. Talking about what upsets you is just reliving it all over again. Plus, what if you do not trust anyone enough to tell them what's on your mind? Crying is bullshit. I feel that it is pathetic for me to cry. That’s just how I feel. I have trained myself not to. So why should I do something detrimental to myself when I am already in distress? “Good” coping skills don’t really work and only the simple-minded buy into them. “Bad” coping skills shouldn’t be judged as bad or taboo just because others have all-or-none thinking about them when it's the only thing that helps some people.

Medication: Taking medication should be the mentally ill’s choice. Medication is not right for everybody; it is not always the best thing to do. Not everyone likes themselves on medication. Who are we to judge if a person is the “correct” version of themselves or not? Forcing someone to take psychiatric medications is rooted in a power and control structure that overshadows others. I believe that we should leave others alone when it comes to this and let them live how they want to live. Just because we’re mentally ill, doesn't mean we have to do what you want with our bodies anymore.

In conclusion, I believe individuals and society as a whole should look beyond the systems of the law, procedures in mental health facilities, standard practices of therapies, pop culture trends/rules , and societal norms to find each of our unique spots in this society. We need to rethink what is considered “unhealthy” and what is “healthy” and why we put actions into those categories. We need to be more open and steer clear of letting others dictate what we believe. I’m tired of being lectured and shamed. Let's move on together. 

#mental hospital #mental illness #mental health #mental disorder #essay #prose #prose essay #sociology #abnormal psychology #psych #psychology #psychology student

[demonqueenbeee]

Slighly NSFW but really only slightly.

Scars

Raven only had three scars on her entire body.

It was actually very little when you considered her day job. He knew that her lack of scars was due to her ability to heal herself and others. So two is all that had managed to stick to her almost flawless skin.

Three very different scars that made him feel two very different ways.

He traced his fingers over the first one. It started right at the top of her sternum and trailed about 4 inches down between the valley of her breasts. The second scar was parallel to the first but on her back. About four inches right between her shoulder blades.

He hated those scars. They reminded him of the day he nearly lost her because of his own stupidity.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” she said grabbing onto his hands. “Dick let me help you with this.”

He shook his head.

“He said to go alone,” he replied. “This is the only chance to save those kids. It's my fault they were captured in the first place! God fucking knows what that madman has done to them...god knows if they’re even...”

He didn’t even want to think of that.

If all those kids were dead, it would be his fault. With that in mind, he pushed her hands away and angrily began to suit up.

“Richard,” she said using his full name and running after him. “Please look at me, please! It isn’t your fault that those teenagers decided to play vigilante and got caught by the Joker! That being said, you are not okay right now. You aren’t level headed, you’re going to overthink things and get distracted!”

“They followed me ,RAVEN!” He yelled. “They followed me into trouble and I wasn't able to stop or save them! I have to at least try now! I cant sit here and wait for Batman or Superman to pick up the fucking phone! And I sure as hell am not putting you in danger! The Joker is next level evil, Raven. Not something a teenager should handle!”

She glared at him for using the teenager card.

“I may be a teenager,” she said. “But I am no child. You were barely a teenager one year ago! Less even! And do not get me started on next level evil!”

He hit the nearest wall, his fist leaving a large indent in the wall. It caused Raven to jump back in shock.

“The difference between me and you is that I have fought him!” He yelled, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. “I am not letting you near him and if I have to lock you up in the Trigon room, I will.”

Raven was shocked beyond words at his behavior but he had no time for apologies.

“Stay here,” he commanded.

She shook her head and turned away.

......

He traced the darkened edge that made the scar a scar. The skin was slightly raised. A slightly darker color than her natural pale skin.

If he had listened to her that day, she might have never gotten the nearly fatal wound that left her permanently scarred.

....

When he made it to the rendezvous point, it had been too late. Three of the four boys were dead, the joker long gone.

One of the boys was still breathing but needed medical help. He quickly got the boy out of the abandoned building and into the streets where he promptly called for an ambulance.

The kid started to wake up as they waited.

“Nightwing?” He coughed out.

He was hacking up his lungs and Nightwing was worried he wouldn’t make it.

“Its okay, kid,” he said, trying to keep him calm. “Just stay calm. Help is on its way!”

“No,” the boy coughed. “No you don't understand. It's a plot!”

Nightwing nodded. He figured as much. He bet the Joker expected him to go back in for the other boys and then attack. But he had seen enough dead bodies to know it was futile. He would get the other kid back to safety and then try to get Batman or Red Robin or even freaking Red Hood down to help him.

“Just keep calm,” he told the boy again. “An ambulance is on its way. Your friends didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

“I know,” he replied back, his voice still breaking. “I know! He made me watch and he told me he was only luring you to get to your friend! He said you were the Robin that fought with the Titans and that you brought that goth hero with you! That you two were close! He’s going after her!”

Nightwing felt his blood rush away from his face and he knew he had paled. He stayed calm, however, knowing that Raven was in his apartment probably meditating her anger away.

A siren and the sight of blaring ambulance lights were on the horizon. He would check on Raven immediately after.

“You have to find her!” The boy said. “He said he’d hurt her. He said he’d do such nasty things.”

“It’s gonna be okay,” he told the young boy. “She’s going to be okay, right now we need to focus on you.”

The boy shook his head. He was only about thirteen , maybe even twelve. He should have been going through this.

How Nightwing hated the Joker. The madman.

He spoke to the emts and gave them instructions to get away fast.

It was almost midnight and Nightwing needed to check on Raven.

“Nightwing,” a dark voice said, jumping down next to him. “Status report.”

He looked up to see Batman and Robin landing next to him.

“Trap,” he said to him. “This kid was the only survivor. The other boys are still in there but it's a trap. Joker is apparently out looking for Raven so I need to go check on her.”

Robin looked to Batman with worry on her face.

“Check on her now,” Batman said with his most serious of voices. “Red Robin and Red Hood were both responding to trouble. Oracle had to call both Batgirl and Raven to two more separate issues. Go now, I'll send you the coordinates, me and Robin will take over this.”

Nightwing shook his head in fear and took off immediately.

.............

He laid his head between her breasts and kissed the scar. If he had never asked her to stay alone, she would have never been alone.

Hell..if he had just trusted her.....

If he had stayed calm..

There were so many ifs.

.....

He got to where she was and she was alive. He breathed a sigh of relief. She was holding her head in what seemed like intense pain

“Raven!” he yelled.

She turned to look at him but her face was horrified.

“No,” she yelled.

But it was too late.

He heard something fire and turned to see a harpoon. A literal harpoon made its way towards him.

Towards him and not her. It had been more than just a trap to get Raven. It had been a trap to get him too. It had been aimed for him mostly.

He had no time to move as the harpoon flew at him. He knew he was going to die.

He heard as the harpoon made contact with skin and clothing and felt a small pain in his chest area and blood splatter onto him.

But it wasn't enough pain and he was definitely still alive.

He opened his eyes and he knew the sight before him would haunt him for the rest of his life.

....

He was doing the scar thing again. She shook her head at his actions. Every so often when he was able to get her naked, he would go into a dark and regretful mood.

It drove her nuts. It had been almost 5 years and tt was the past . Yes 3 innocent thirteen year old boys had died and one was almost fatally injured, but it had not been his fault.

Her getting harpooned in the chest had not been his fault either but he refused to believe it. She jumped in front of him to save him knowing full well the consequences. In the end she had survived. She got two nasty scars out of it but she had survived.

He had more death defying scars then she did , anyways. Like the ones on his own back from a fight gone wrong with Dr. Light.

She shrugged her shoulders and decided she would join in on the fun. She traced the raised skin with her nimble fingers. The muscles on his back were taught and slightly moist from the sweat that had gathered. She loved the way the muscles on his back felt.

The scars added to it, in her opinion. It made them feel almost jagged, textured was a better way to explain it.

She traced her hands down his strong arms, grasping the biceps. He had scars there too and she traced them with her thumbs.

A kiss near her nipple made her gasp.

“Dick,” she said. “Stop playing, you’ve been focused on those scars for 5 minutes now.”

He raised himself to look at her face.

“Your right,” he said. “I should pay attention to the other scar.”

She flushed as he lowered himself right down to the lowest part of her belly.

“I like this one,” he said, suddenly kissing the scar. “I really do.”

She smiled at the love he was radiating.

That scar had been caused by something that had almost ended her life as well but it had definitely been worth it.

If she was being honest she missed the little trouble maker but it was their first night alone and Alfred had been so happy to take the baby.

Their baby.

Their son who had also almost ended both their lives when his power developed in utero. He had inherited his mother's dark telekinetic powers and three months before he should have been born, he tore through her uterus and her skin. It was a horrifically bloody sight.

She required an emergency cesarean and Dick had gotten so stressed out, he had a panic attack and fainted. They had thought he had a heart attack but his heart had no signs of ischemia (which she would have healed anyways).

But the best news was that the baby had survived. He was premature and very tiny but he would be okay. And he was okay.

He was perfect in fact. Even with his powers.

Raven had the ability to counteract them so as long as he was with her, he was fine. And with Alfred too. He had taken a liking to Alfred and his powers would sooner protect them then hurt him. So he was the perfect babysitter for their first night alone in almost 6 months.

Raven focused her attention back to her husband of 3 years.

He was more than just kissing the scar now, he was trailing down and Raven knew it was going to be a good night.

A good night indeed.

End

#raven #nightwing #robrae #robraeweek2020 #nightrae #scars

[imagine-loki]

You were saying, little mortal?

TITLE: You were saying, little mortal?

CHAPTER NO.: 1/?

AUTHOR: Solaramoonset

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine being a passive superhero fan. You’ve read a few comics, you’ve seen most of Marvel’s movies. One day on your way to work, you get pulled over and arrested. The police don’t explain why, only demanding you keep quiet. You’re taken to an abandon looking warehouse. Roughly you’re tossed into a makeshift cell. Really its just an office someone empty and replaced the normal door with a metal one. You don’t expect the voice behind you.

“So kid what are you in for?”

Its Robert Downey jr, sort of. Something is off and he seems confused to be called by that name. You hear a scuffle outside your shared cell. The door bursts open and in walks Tom Hiddleston as Loki. Although something is off about him too. You soon find all the “Avengers” actors there. You don’t know whats going on but the longer you are around them the more crazy you feel. They don’t seem to know their actor names, and you can’t find any cameras around. Its like for them this is real.

They decide to take you back with them (clearly thinking something is wrong with you). You find yourself sitting next to Loki. Having enough of this craziness you go on a rant, expecting you are ranting to Tom Hiddleston. Loki lets you say your bit, seemingly amused by you, before holding up his hand and bringing forth just enough seidr to glow and flow around his hand. “You were saying, little mortal?”

RATING: Teen

NOTES: Also on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18953773/chapters/45003085

Chapter 1

“Wake up

Grab a brush and put a little (makeup)

Grab a brush and put a little

Hide the scars to fade away the (shakeup)

Hide the scars to fade away the

Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?

Here you go create another fable

You wanted to”

Enid groaned as she blindly reached over for her phone. Who’d call this early? A quick glance showed it was her boss. “Enid Rose here.” She mumbled into the phone.

“Good morning. How is my favorite secretary slash unofficial office manager?” A far too cheerful voice answered her.

“Duncan, its three in the morning. Please get to the point.” Enid rolled over to stare at her ceiling.

“Gregory needs a ride to work. If I remember correctly you pass his place on the way in. Care to give him a ride?”

“Gregory who?” Enid knew who Gregory was. She actually got along pretty well with the head of maintenance and IT support, even though most thought he was a little weird. He was a brilliant engineer, but for some reason, chose to work in a small office setting.

“Gregory Stark, naturally. His hover car broke down again. Go figure, man makes the first hover car but can’t keep the damn thing running. So about that ride?”

“Yeah Duncan, I’ll pick him up. I’ll text him when I’m on my way. Now if there’s nothing else I think I’ll get back to sleep.”

“Don’t forget it’s your turn to bring breakfast. Please make sure its something unhealthy, totally bad for you and full of sugar this time.” Duncan hung up before Enid could protest.

“I bring pumpkin-carrot muffins one time.” Enid threw off the covers. There was no way she’d be getting back to sleep. Might as well go for a morning jog.

XOXOXOX

Enid pulled up outside a group of apartmentsshooting off a quick text. ‘ERose Taxi service. Searching for brilliant engineer, who killed a hover car. Again.’ Almost immediately she received a response.

'Good morning my beautiful, intelligent, wonderful, sarcastic savior! I’ll be right down to your death trap masquerading as an SUV’ a few minuets later Gregory hopped in.

“If you don’t like my baby, you can always walk to work.” Enid pulled out of the apartment complex and back on the road.

“My lovely queen of the office file system, I shall endeavor to keep my mouth shut. I think we both know how monumental a task that will be.” Enid began laughing, Gregory joining a moment later.

“Did you see Venom yet?”

“Enid, the only reason you went to see that movie was to watch Tom Hardy. Besides I have issues with villains getting their own movies.” Gregory grumbled.

“Tom Hardy is nice to look at. I wasn’t expecting the twist they put to Venom though. In the Tobey Maguire spider-man, Venom was a villain. In this new story there’s no way anyone will call him a hero but he is a very interesting anti-hero.”

“What about that new avenger’s trailer? Have you seen that?”

“It had me in tears Gregory, tears. It looks like they’re going to kill off Tony! They already killed Bucky and Loki! … Dammit. We might have to test you keeping your mouth shut sooner than expect. It looks like we’re getting pulled over.” Enid frowned looking in the rear-view mirror. Gregory tensed up.

“Call me Duncan around the cops. Lets just say I’m not exactly here legally; I’ll explain later.” Enid gave a quick nod grabbing her wallet and putting both hands on the wheel. She lowered the window as an office approached.

“Step out of the vehicle please.”

“Sure office. Can I ask what this is about?” Enid gulped. What was going on?

“Both of you need to get out of the vehicle, hands in the air.” Both Enid and Gregory stepped out of the SUV hands raised. Rough hands grabbed Enid, slapping cuffs on her wrists.

“What the hell?” Enid tried to look at the officer. A heavy hit to her temple had her stumbling.

“Enid!”

“Shut up! You’re both coming with us!” The world faded in and out as Enid was shoved in the back of a cop car. She shook her head to clear it.

“Keep quiet, they’re after me. I’m sure when they figure out you aren’t part of anything they’ll let you go.”Gregory leaned in and whispered into Enid’s ear. She knew he was probably trying to be reassuring but it was freaking her out more. What could her friend be involved with? The patrol car slowed down outside an abandoned looking warehouse Enid’s stomach dropped. She was pulled from the car one way, Gregory the other.

“Move it.” Enid was half dragged through the warehouse into what could have been an office once. As the door was slammed in her face, Enid made a quick look around for anything useful, but it appeared someone had removed everything already. Enid tried not to hyperventilate as she looked at the closed door. It was metal, and looked heavy. Probably not the original door. She tried to wiggle her wrists, the cuffs were digging into her skin.

“So kid, what you in for?” Enid jumped at the voice and spun around. Sitting in a dark corner was none other than Robert Downey Jr. As impossible as it seemed, the man she was starring down was a dead ringer for the actor.

“Robert Downey Jr.? How? Why? What is Gregory mixed up in?” Enid stammered. The man gave her a confused look.

“Whoa there Kid, my name’s Tony. Did you say Gregory? Cause I have this brother named Gregory and those thugs were looking for him. Was your Gregory with you when you got caught?” the more she looked at him, the more something seemed off about him. She just couldn’t figure out what.

“Yeah, I was giving him a ride to work. But you don’t look anything like him.”

“That’s not good news to me kid, my brother looks nothing like me.”

“Please don’t call me kid.”

“Okay short stack. Just sit tight, my friends are coming to bust me… I guess us now, out.” Enid rolled her eyes at Tony. At least he’d apparently stopped calling her a kid. Enid heard a shout and a thud from outside the door She step closer to listen better but Tony pulled her back. “If my friends are here, it won’t be a good idea to stand by the door.” The door groaned and burst open. A tall figure stood in the smoke. Enid gaped.

“Oh my god! Its Tom Hiddleston!” Enid was stunned. The man in the doorway seemed confused.

“I am Loki, of Asgard. Come Stark, I was sent to free you.” Enid was practically vibrating in her excitement. She bounced over to Loki with stars in her eyes. A thought struck her and her excitement disappeared. She rounded on Tony.

“Wait Stark? Your name is Tony Stark? Were your parent’s Marvel fans or something? No this is too much, its gotta be some sort of prank.”

“I’m getting out of here short stack, you coming or what?” he followed Loki, Enid trailed behind the two. There was no way she was staying. As they reached the main floor of the warehouse, a huge fight was going on. Enid could see Scarlett Johansson in a black skin tight suit. Jeremy Renner was in the rafters shooting arrows! There was even someone dressed as Captain America. The fight was intense, the hits looked and sounded very real. The one thing Enid couldn’t seem to find, were any cameras.

“Head down!” Enid didn’t know who shouted that or who pushed her down but her instincts were screaming at her this fight wasn’t staged. What the hell was going on? Enid stayed down, shaking as the fight continued around her. She had no way to judge how long the fight lasted, time had no meaning for her. It was Gregory’s soft voice which finally had her looking up.

“Hey E, it’s okay. Its over now.” She shook her head at him and held up her wrists which were still cuffed. Scarlett knelt beside her and picked the lock, freeing Enid’s wrists.

“How’d you do that? I mean your charcater Natasha is a complete badass but I wouldn’t think you’d have to learn something like this to play her.” Enid whispered in awe. Scarlettt gave her an odd look.

“So how are you?” Gregory winced at his own question. Enid blinked. She wasn’t sure where the laughter or tears came from but she couldn’t seem to stop either. “Tony, we can’t leave her like this, they’re bound to come back.” Gregory called over his should.

“Greg, why doesn’t she know us? She didn’t even know Loki, called him Tom Hiddleston.”

“It’s a long story-” Gregory started.

“It always is with you. But your right, we can’t leave her. Something is wr… isn’t right. Did she get hit in the head?” Gentle hands help Enid stand, she looked up into bright blue eyes. It slowed the tears. By the time she had been led onto a weird plane, quinjet her mind supplied, she was reduced to soft hiccups. Gregory sat on one side of her, oddly enough Loki sat on her other side.

“You’ve had an interesting day, would you like to talk about it?” Loki gave Enid a gentle smile.

“What are you up to brother?” Enid turned her head to look at Chris Hemsworth. Something in her snapped. She turned back to Loki.

“Interesting isn’t the right word. Impossible is so much better! This entire day should be impossible! I’m surrounded by the actors from the Avengers movies only they don’t seem to know it! Tony Stark or Robert Downey Jr? Tom Hiddleston or Loki? Cause I swear I’m talking to the actor, not the character. And you just had to go and say the line, why did you have to say the line? Haven’t you seen other fans swoon from it?!? Don’t get me wrong, all of you are brlliants actors but superheros aren’t real! The Avengers aren’t real! It’s just a movie! The costumes, the fight, and no cameras! ANYWHER! None of this can be real! What the fuck is going on?!? I have to be losing my fucking mind or sometihng. Greg if this is one of your pranks I will stab you.” Enid ranted. There was a twinkle in Loki’s eyes.

“Wow two 'fucks’ and a death threat all in one day, today has been rough hasn’t it?” Gregory muttered. If looks would kill, Enid would have murdered him.

“Language!” Steve called from somewhere up front.

“Dude so help me, this is a FUCK, FUCK, FUCKITY, FUCK kinda of day!.” Enid snapped. The plane was deadly quiet. Enid looked back at Loki. He was wearing a smirk and his eyes were practicly glowing. Slowly he held his hand up, his seidr flowed around his hand like a green mist. Enid looked from his hand into his eyes, her mouth gaping, her eyes wide.

“You were saying, little mortal?”

“No fucking way…” Enid’s eyes rolled back into her head and her body slumped. Loki caught her before she could fall out of her seat.

“So Greg, we’ve got a long flight ahead of us, I think it’s time for that story.”

#Loki #God of Mischief #Submitted fic #submission #chapter 1 #solaramoonset #you were saying little mortal

[morningsound15]

Stacie x Beca + “things you said under the stars and in the grass”

got this prompt in a direct message! hope you enjoy @bechloetitanium

It takes a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dark. The glow from her uncle’s farmhouse is casting weird, distorted shadows for twenty feet in every direction, stretching all the way around the house and into the surrounding yard. Not that the light helps her see very far – his property is huge, and his land extends much farther than the glow from the house’s windows can reach. There’s a pool some fifty feet to the left, the tip of the inlet where the house has been built can be found maybe 70 yards ahead, and there’s a dock with a sailboat tied to one of the pylons, tapping lightly against the wood of the dock with each swell of the water, that’s just outside the light’s perimeter. There are crop fields around the front of the house, wheat and soy and corn, and a gravel driveway that stretches out a full mile before it hits the tiny side road that leads down to this part of the Bay. The only sounds that aren’t emanating from the house behind her are the crickets, which are releasing a low hum that dips and swells with the wind, a wall of buzzing that serves to both annoy and relax in equal measure.

She sees a shadow towards the left, at the farthest edge of the light, something large and dark that seems to be holding itself very still. Beca picks her way across the grass slowly, allowing her steps to fall steadily so as not to surprise the figure in front of her. The last thing she wants to do is sneak up on her unexpectedly.

“There you are.”

Stacie, where she lays on the ground, doesn’t turn her head. “I’m sorry,” she says right away, not taking her eyes off the constellations above her. “I didn’t mean to abandon you. I just had to get out of there.”

Beca is silent as she sits down next to her. She crosses her legs, and her splayed knee presses against Stacie’s shoulder. The grass is cool beneath them, a little damp on their skin. The night is relatively cool as well, unusual for this part of Maryland this late in the summer, but that’s probably down to their close proximity to the water. Stacie’s knees dangle off the pool deck, her legs submerged in the water up to her shins. The lights inside the pool are on, casting a faint, eerie, golden-blueish-green gleam over everything in the vicinity. Stacie’s skin glows with it.

“I’m sorry,” Beca says. Apparently it’s her turn to apologize, now.

“It’s okay, Becs,” Stacie assures. “Really. I’m fine, it was just… starting to get kind of intense.”

“When I told them I was bringing my girlfriend as my plus one they said they were fine with it. Really, they promised to be chill.   Even my aunt Barb, and she’s notoriously the craziest one in the family.” Beca shakes her head, her chin hanging low to her chest. “God, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe they—”

But Stacie just shrugs it off. “Trust me, Beca: I’ve heard worse.”

Beca sighs again. She shifts on the ground, lowers her body so she’s laying perpendicular to Stacie. She rests her had against Stacie’s shoulder and joins her in looking up at the night sky. “We don’t have to stay,” Beca says quietly. “We can leave whenever we want. I don’t even like my cousins that much, and Ryan in particular sucks. Skipping his wedding is—”

But Stacie shakes her head. “They’re your family. And we’re only here for another two days.” Stacie turns her head and smiles down at Beca, her chin brushing the crown of Beca’s head. Beca twists her own neck so that they can make eye contact. Stacie’s eyes seem to shine under the light of the moon (or maybe thanks to the light emanating from the pool. Beca is enraptured either way).

“I’m sorry,” Beca says, because she feels the need to say it again. This really hadn’t gone the way she’d planned. She figured her family would be a little weird about meeting Stacie for the first time — despite the fact that they’ve been together more than two years, Beca has been reluctant to introduce her to the wider Holloway clan (Beca’s extended family on her mom’s side). Who knew her weirdly-estranged cousins who live in the boondocks of the Eastern Shore of Maryland would be pretty openly homophobic?

Well, Beca definitely knew. And she probably could have guessed this would be their reaction. Still, they didn’t have to bring Stacie’s personal life into it. Beca would have been fine politely ignoring all the sly, subtle digs about her ‘alternative lifestyle’ and ‘rebellious phase’ that her overly-involved relatives seem determined to get in before the rehearsal dinner has ended. But dragging Stacie into their weird issues was entirely uncalled for.

“You’ve already apologized,” Stacie reminds her, which doesn’t exactly make the sick feeling in Beca’s gut go away, but it does make her believe that Stacie isn’t about to break up with her over this.

Still.

“Still,” she says, turning her attention skyward again. “I know my family can be kind of crazy. My mom… she can be pretty out of it. And my brother is such an ass—”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing.” Stacie drops her hand to rest on Beca’s shoulder, and she squeezes tightly. “I understand; family sucks.”

“I never wanted them to make you uncomfortable.”

“Eh,” Stacie sounds a little unconvinced, “I don’t know if I was really uncomfortable. I just… that kind of stuff doesn’t really bother me, y’know? People have been making snide comments about me since middle school. Your grandma insinuating I’m a slut who’s only using you for your money — hilarious, by the way, you’re poorer than me right now — doesn’t exactly wound my ego.”

“It isn’t fair. She doesn’t even know you.”

“Everyone’s got weird conservative relatives,” Stacie says, unbothered. “Homophobic grandparents are kind of a norm, y’know. You’ve met my granddad.”

“Yeah, he called me your ‘queer roommate’ for all of Thanksgiving dinner.”

Stacie laughs. “Isn’t this better than that?”

Beca reaches up and takes Stacie’s hand. She threads their fingers together, her thumb brushing lightly against the palm of Stacie’s hand, tickling the smooth, soft skin there. “Not if it makes you uncomfortable,” she says quietly, seriously. And she means it. She’d go through a thousand weird Thanksgiving dinners with Stacie as long as it stopped her from getting insulted by Beca’s unfortunate extended family.

Stacie shakes her head. “I’m not uncomfortable. I promise. It doesn’t faze me anymore. I’m hot, I like my body, and I like having sex. Yeah, your brother’s an ass, and yeah, your cousin’s family is a little rude, but it’s nothing I haven’t heard before.”

Beca quirks her head up. She ends up looking mostly at Stacie’s chin, and her cheek. Stacie’s eyes are a bright point in the otherwise dark surroundings. “So then why’d you leave?”

She gets a shrug in response. “Family stuff weirds me out. My family doesn’t really… talk to each other. Seeing other families fight has always made me feel weird. Plus, y’know… tensions are high. What with the wedding tomorrow.” She shrugs again. “I would just rather ignore the messiness inside and sit out here instead.”

“And look at the stars?”

“Yeah. I like the stars.”

Beca turns her attention skyward again. After a few moments, she hums. “It is pretty peaceful.”

“No fights, no drunk uncles, no smells of burning appetizers.”

Beca has to laugh at that. “God, Barb really can’t cook for shit.”

“I also have an aunt who thinks she can cook but definitely can’t, so I feel your pain.” Stacie turns her head and presses a light kiss to Beca’s temple. “We’re definitely going smaller for our wedding, though.”

“Oh yeah?” Beca teases. “We’re getting married, now?”

“Oh please.” Beca can’t see it, but she can just picture Stacie rolling her eyes. “I’m not the one who insisted on leaving our engagement rings at home in case my crazy cousin Janine ‘gets super jealous and tries to cut our hair off in our sleep.’”

“Hey, that’s happened in this family before before, and Freddie’s engagement broke up the next week. So really I’m protecting us, babe.”

“Oh sure, make it seem like it’s about my safety.”

Beca flexes her fingers a little. She pulls their hands apart slightly, far enough so she can press their fingertips together. She opens and closes her hand, stretching their fingers but always making sure to keep all five touching, always connected, before she slips them together again, running her thumb over Stacie’s knuckles. “Does that bother you? That I… didn’t want to tell people, yet?”

“No,” Stacie says, and she sounds truthful. At least to Beca’s ears. “I like keeping it to ourselves; at least for now.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. I like that we still have some time to enjoy it. As soon as we tell your mom she’s gonna start planning the wedding like we’re getting married that week.”

“And you know Chloe’s gonna freak we didn’t tell her first thing.”

“Oh, obviously.” Beca can hear the smile in Stacie’s voice. “Are you sure you’re alright with having a wife who’s so much taller than you, though?”

“I think so,” Beca says, playing along. “I mean, basketball players’ wives deal with it fine I think.” Stacie reaches over and swats her on the shoulder. Beca laughs, and continues: “And you might not be as rich, but you’re much hotter than LeBron James, so I’m sure I won’t suffer too much.”

“You’re an ass.”

“Speaking of asses, you know if things don’t work out with us you could always go date my brother.”

“Beca—”

“What?” She asks innocently. “He’s been staring at your ass all night.”

Stacie rolls her eyes as she flips over. She shifts just enough so that her torso hovers above Beca’s, her hips pressing Beca’s into the grass. She quirks an eyebrow down at her as Beca tries to look innocent. “You’re really jealous about that? I told you he’s an ass.”

“I’m not jealous,” Beca says, with an impossibly serious face. “I just want what’s best for you, baby. He’s closer to your height, and looks a lot like me, too. Some might even call him an upgrade.”

Stacie leans down and presses a deep, nearly bruising kiss to Beca’s lips. It quite effectively shuts her up.

There are no sounds around them except the summer air, the rustling of the breeze off the Bay filtering through the thickly-leaved trees, the sound of chlorinated water lapping against the sides of the pool. When Stacie pulls away a moment later her hands come up to Beca’s temples, tenderly pushing her hair back. Her fingernails scratch lightly at Beca’s scalp, and Beca closers her eyes and leans into the sensation.

“I’m crazy about you,” Stacie murmurs.

Beca smiles lazily, suddenly more than a little sleepy. “Oh, good. I was worried we were in trouble.”

“I really don’t like your family, though. Is that a deal breaker?”

Beca opens her eyes and grins. “Nah, just something else we have in common.”

Stacie glances towards the main house. Beca can hear voices rising, slowly seeping out of the kitchen. Something crashes — a pan falling to the ground? — and Beca can hear the faint sounds of her uncle’s irate and drunken cursing over the ensuing din. A dog barks, somewhere upstairs, and Beca can already feel a headache coming on.

Stacie pulls a face. “Think we should go back in and make sure everyone’s alright?”

Beca laces her fingers together over Stacie’s shoulders, cupping the back of her neck. She pulls her slightly down, forcing Stacie’s attention back to her. “I think we can wait a little longer, don’t you?”

Stacie’s eyes flit down to Beca’s mouth. She bites her lower lip, clearly torn. “Maybe you’re right,” she says slowly. “I mean, we don’t want there to be too many cooks in the kitchen. We’ll just contribute to the confusion”

“Freddie and Janine are set to blow up at each other any minute now.”

“And the stars are lovely tonight…”

They grin at each other, and Stacie dips her head again, claiming Beca’s lips softly with her own. The sounds from inside the house fall away, and for a few minutes they can pretend that they’re the only two people on earth, wrapped up in each other so closely that nothing else matters.

#stacie x beca #steca #i know their ship name now! #Pitch Perfect #pitch perfect fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #bechloetitanium #prompts #prompt fill #long post #mine

[per-ineptia-ad-astra]

Star Trek Gold Key #25: Dwarf Planet

Happy New Year everyone! 

Next episode still isn’t coming until the seventh, but while I was re-organizing my excessive amount of books I came across something and thought, hey, this might make for a fun holiday treat. Besides, I felt bad leaving you guys on a cliffhanger for so long. 

So this...

[ID: A photograph of a copy of Star Trek The Key Collection: Volume 4, with a cover showing Kirk, Spock and McCoy against a background of stars, with Sulu and Scotty in insets.] 

...this is one of my Gold Key comic collections. 

The Gold Key comics were the first Star Trek comics ever made, running for sixty-one issues from 1969-1979. What I have here are volumes three and four of a five-book collection of the comics put out back in 2004-2006, which actually only goes up to #43—the last two books were planned but never published.

Myself, I first found volume four here at a used bookstore not too long after I had first gotten into Star Trek. (I found volume three at another store quite awhile later. I apologize for not starting at the beginning here, but this is what I have. There’s no continuity anyway so don’t worry about that.) I was very much not prepared for what I was about to find inside.

For the thing about these comics is that they are incredibly and hilariously bad. The plots themselves wouldn’t always be out of place for Trek, but the combo of dodgy art, weird dialogue, and overall off-ness that gives the sense that the writers were working off a Wikipedia article about Star Trek instead of ever actually having seen the show, all adds up to a final product that doesn’t resemble Star Trek so much as a weird fever-dream version of Star Trek from an alternate dimension.

Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look.

[Image Description: A comic splash page titled STAR TREK: DWARF PLANET Part 1 showing Scotty, wearing a blue and white polka-dot loincloth, throwing rocks at a slimy green thing while saying, “What kind o’way is this for a lad like me to be dyin’--trampled by a hairy-legged—MICROBE!” The narration box at the top of the page says “Come along with the crew of the starship Enterprise as they race to solve the mystery of a world in which all life is rapidly shrinking to—oblivion!”]

Our issue for today, Dwarf Planet, opens with a splash page of Scotty in a spotted loincloth throwing rocks at a microbe, which I think gives you a pretty good idea of what we’re in for here.

[ID: A dark green Enterprise shuttle, landing on an empty airfield with a green field in the distance. The narration box reads, “Captain’s Log, Star Date 19:24:8—Lt. Uhura, Chief Comm-officer, has detected intelligent radio signals from the little explored area of space, sector 199-D!” Inside the ship Kirk is saying, “You were right, Lt. Uhura! There is advanced life on this planet! Mr. Spock and I will investigate!” while Uhura says, “With the captain’s permission, I’d like to accompany you!”]

The story itself, however, begins with an Enterprise shuttle—newly painted green, apparently—landing on this planet to investigate some intelligent radio signals. I don’t know why Uhura waited until they actually got down to the planet surface before asking if she could come with.

Anyway, they find a fully-built city, but it’s completely deserted, no one around. The only living thing are some bushes that turn out, upon closer examination, to actually be miniature trees. Kirk thinks this is weird, which is a bit judgmental of him. Maybe people on this planet just like their bonsai.

The mystery deepens when they find another city within a mile of the first—also abandoned, and much smaller than the first one. And I don’t mean smaller in terms of zoning. I mean the buildings are about two or three feet tall. Uhura speculates that there may have been multiple intelligent species of different sizes living on the planet, but there’s no sign of any of them now.

Kirk then recommends they split up, gang. He heads off into the countryside, where he finds a tiny rocketship that he assumes is a toy belonging to a child. Except it promptly flies off and returns with a bunch more ships, which trap Kirk with a net. He helpfully narrates all this as it’s happening.

[ID: A page of four panels showing Kirk being surrounded by small rockets which are firing weighted ropes at him, slowly driving him to the ground. First panel: “They’ve opened fire! Shooting heavy stranded wire!” Second panel: “They’re forming a net over me! I’m being captured by a pack of toy rockets!” Third panel: “Can’t break these things! And they’re pulling me down! ARRRRGGGGH!” Fourth panel: “One of them is landing! If I could only get my hands on the child who’s controlling these fantastic toys!”]

Thanks Kirk.

It’s not until the rockets land and open that Kirk finally realizes they’re not toys being operated by a child, but real miniature rockets being flown by tiny people, who shoot Kirk in the face with some paralyzing gas before he can get a message out over the communicator. One of the tiny people—speaking through an unexplained device on his forehead—introduces himself as General Kwy. I have no idea how to pronounce that.

[ID: Two panels showing Kirk laying on the ground while a small bald man in a red tunic and black pants stands on his chest. In the first panel he is saying, “You would like to say ‘I come to planet Kujal in peace! Why do you treat me so?’ Because you are a giant! And where one has come, others will follow!” In the second panel he says, “My people will become slaves to yours! Household pets or worse—sideshow freaks! Not while I live, giant! Never!”]

General Kwy has some weirdly detailed predictions about what’s going to happen if his people are discovered by ‘giants’ and he’s not having it. So he brings out a couple cranes to load Kirk onto a board, Gulliver’s Travels style,  and has him wheeled off to a third, even smaller, city.

[ID: Kirk laying on a wooden wheeled board in front of a dais covered cloth, where a woman sits on a gold chair next to General Kwy. The general is saying, “Madame President, I’ve brought the giant prisoner mentioned in my report!” Kirk is thinking, “A woman leader! A more advanced world than many!”]

Kirk is brought in front of Madame President, which Kirk reminds us is So Advanced. Madame President is a little nicer than General Kwy and orders Kirk to be de-paralyzed, but then reveals that Spock and Uhura have been captured also. And stowed under the bunting on the dais. No, I don’t know why.

Madame President lays down some backstory: there was only ever one species of people on the planet, which was once human-sized. They “were a happy world until sudden explosions rocked [their] sun with fantastic intensity.” Don’t you hate it when that happens?

[ID: A panel with a narration box saying, “But, in time, these ceased and life resumed as before! Until, one day...” Below, someone in a gray robe is approaching a woman sitting at an oversized table, talking into a large rotary phone. The person in the robe is saying, “We are growing smaller with every passing day!” The woman is saying, “Yes! It’s true! Others report the same! But why?”]

Yes! It’s true! Others are reporting the same, right now, on my giant rotary phone.

The shrinking kept happening, causing the next generation to have to build an entirely new city, and the next generation to do the same. Eventually they figured out that because of the sun explosions “some new radio waves have caused all living cells to shrink.” Sure. Anyway, looks like now their civilization is doomed because eventually they’re going to shrink out of existence. Bummer.

Uhura points out that the Enterprise could very easily move them all to another planet, but Madame President gives the standard answer for why we can never just use the easy solution, which is “no we love our planet so much we’re all gonna stay here even if it kills us.”

General Kwy wants to have the three of them executed straight away, but Madame President belays that and lets them all go sit and eat tiny food and talk while she figures out what to do with them.

[ID: Spock, Kirk and Uhura sitting among the small buildings eating and talking. Narration: “Later, as crowds watch from a distance...” Uhura: “How could they think of altering their sun even if they had the ships to reach it?” Spock: “Quite impossible! All the harnessed power of the inhabited worlds of the universe could not destroy—or even alter—a star!”]

All that harnessed power of the inhabited worlds couldn’t alter a star! It takes inexplicable space explosions to do that.

Since altering the star is out of the question, Kirk proposes making some kind of antidote or shielding to deal with the shrink rays. But to do that, they’d have to fly close to the sun to gather samples of the rays. I don’t know how you capture samples of radio waves but he seems confident. Little does he know, however, that the general has an “audio-magnifier” trained on the trio to eavesdrop on their plans, because just listening would be too easy.

Madame President is okay with this plan. Suspiciously, so is General Kwy, though he proposes that they leave a hostage to guarantee they don’t just escape. Which doesn’t work super well when the people in question have remote teleportation technology, but he doesn’t know that.

[ID: A very pale-looking Uhura leaning over Madame President and saying, “In that case, Madame President, I volunteer to be the hostage!” Madame President is saying, “I was hoping the woman among you would show that courage! Congratulations, Lieutenant!”]

As a woman, I was hoping the woman among you would show courage! Here on my advanced world, we like it when women show courage. Have I mentioned I’m a woman recently?

Uhura is often—though not always—quite distressingly pale in these comics. With the way it varies I’m not sure whether it was intentional whitewashing or just bad coloring. Or some awful combination of both, maybe.

With Uhura staying behind, Kirk and Spock prepare to leave, although not before General Kwy stops them to give them a container of fruit as a gift. Absolutely no one bothers to check that the box does indeed contain fruit. Surprise! It doesn’t. It contains a couple of stowaway soldiers assigned to sabotage the mission. Because Kwy still thinks the humans want to make slaves of them all. Or something.

Part Two begins with the Enterprise approaching the sun, as Kirk says that they have no way of knowing whether the ship’s anti-radio shielding will stop them all from getting shrunk. That seems like something they should really have made sure of before doing this. Oh well, too late now.

As they get close to the sun, Sulu tries to raise the radio energy analyzer dish—it’s a thing, apparently—but it won’t go up. Apparently there’s a mechanical problem that necessitates someone go outside and unjam the thing. Even in the future, someone still has to occasionally go personally hit things until they work again.

Luckily, Scotty’s on the case, showing up all dressed in special anti-radio foil before Kirk even has a chance to give any orders. Kirk is a little miffed about this since he’s supposed to be the captain and all but Scotty doesn’t have any time for that.

Scotty struggles with the radar dish while everyone stands around watching and making helpful comments.

[ID: Four panels showing Scotty struggling to lift a radar dish on the top of the ship while Kirk, Spock and McCoy watch on a viewscreen. In the first panel, Scotty is thinking, “But it must be doin’ the job—or those rays would be shrinkin’ me already! Now to get the dish up into position! UGGGGGH!” Second panel, Kirk: “It’s jammed all right! Look at him struggling! I wish we could communicate with him!” Spock: “Our radio signals can’t get through that foil, either, of course!” Third panel, narration, as Scotty raises the dish with a ‘whooosh!’ and ‘klang!’: “Finally, with one mighty effort...” Kirk, from offscreen: “He made it! Nice work! Even you have to admit it, Bones!” McCoy, from offscreen: “Why, Captain? He’ll be telling us all about it for months! Ha-ha-ha!” Fourth panel, showing Scotty collapsed on the top of the ship, McCoy: “Hold it! Something’s wrong! He’s collapsed!” Kirk: “Emergency! Break out another foil outergear! I’m going after him!”]

I wasn’t aware that Scotty and Bones had any particular rivalry, but this writer seems to think otherwise. 

Anyway, as you can see, Scotty promptly collapses, and since as we know there are only about ten people on the whole Enterprise Kirk has to personally go out after him. Instead of Scotty, though, he finds an empty suit.

[ID: Kirk, wearing a foil spacesuit and holding up another spacesuit, seemingly empty, while McCoy looks on and Spock leans over the suit with his hand to his ear. Kirk: “This is exactly what I found! But how could--” Spock: “Shhhhhh! Listen! Do you hear it?”]

I don’t know why, but that picture of Spock with his hand to his ear is cracking me up.

As you can probably guess if you’ve been paying any amount of attention to anything, Scotty done got shrunk. Apparently the radar dish tore a hole in the protective foil. Don’t design your radar dishes with sharp edges, folks. Since Scotty was so close to the sun at the time, he got a heckton of radiation (that’s a scientific term), so he’s still shrinking. In fact, Spock speculates that Scotty might quickly be reduced to microscopic size, meaning that “the very bacteria in the air will menace him as much as a prehistoric mammoth would us!”

An odd choice of metaphor, but we can’t have Scotty be menaced by mammoth bacteria, so they rig up a sterilized environment for him.

[ID: First panel, Spock and Kirk are looking at a glass dome with a tube going into it. Narration: “Full technical facilities of the starship are put to work on the problem and shortly...” Spock: “Under that dome is a complete antiseptic atmosphere! The ‘breather’ tube circulates sterilized air!” Kirk: “A microbless world! That should do it!” Second panel, McCoy is holding up a miniature Scotty wearing a blue handkerchief around his waist. McCoy: “I’ll say one thing, Scotty—that kerchief looks better wrapped around you than it ever did in my pocket!” Scotty: “And what’ll I be wearin’ next—a speck o’ dust for a fur coat?”]

This one’s for you, Scones shippers. I...guess. (???)

Luckily for Scotty it doesn’t take long to identify the mysterious radio energy, as someone helpfully announces over the intercom.

[ID: First panel, McCoy is standing next to the dome and looking off to side, listening to an announcement from the intercom. Narration: “Painful minutes tick away as Scotty continues shrinking..” Intercom: “Attention! We have identified the mystery radio energy!” McCoy: “Did you hear, Scotty? We’re half-way home!” Second panel, McCoy is looking into the dome, now empty with the handkerchief huddled at the bottom. Narration: “And then the dread moment...” McCoy: “He’s gone! Yet I know he’s still in there—too small for the eye to see!”]

Unluckily for Scotty, the two little soldiers have arrived on the scene, and take the opportunity to fire on the breather tube. McCoy quickly captures them and puts them away in convenient storage box, which is just an empty box with ‘storage’ written on it.

[ID: McCoy putting two miniature soldiers into a box labeled ‘Storage.’ McCoy: “We’ll settle with you later!”]

He seals the tube with a bandage, but it’s too late—down in the land of microbes, a germ has gotten in.

[ID: First panel, Scotty is facing off against a large green eyeless worm-like thing. Scotty: “Glory be! A microscopic monster! Some germ that broke through the sealed system!” Monster: “EEEYAWWWRRRR!” Second panel, the monster lashes out its tongue at Scotty, who narrowly dodges under it. Scotty: “Missed me! But how long can I keep this little dance goin’?” Monster: “UNNGAWWRRR!”]

Sure, that’s what germs look like. Why not.

As promised by the splash page, Scotty has to engage in some germ warfare, using some microscopic dirt boulders that also got in as ammunition. It’s thrilling. Truly.

With the germ monster defeated, Scotty gets retrieved by McCoy, who’s wearing some sweet micro-specs.

[ID: First panel, Scotty is being lifted by a thin pointed silver rod. Scotty: “I’m caught! Feel like a whale being harpooned! No—more like a sardine! But what’s doin’ it?” Second panel, Spock looks on as McCoy, wearing goggles with a giant scope in one eye, lifts the rod. Narration: “And, in the world of ‘giants’...” Spock: “Are you sure you’ve got him, doctor?” McCoy: “Yes! I can see him clearly through these micro-specs! He’s struggling like a demon!”]

They stick him under the newly invented anti-shrink ray, which hasn’t been tested because there’s NO TIME, but it works because of course it does. Everyone’s very happy about this.

[ID: The Enterprise flying away from the sun with a ‘fwooosh!’ while people onboard exclaim “Hurrah!” “Yahoooo!” and “Eeeyowwww!”]

Eeyowwww, indeed.

[ID: First panel, Spock and Kirk watching a small Scotty gesturing. Spock: “Listen! He’s trying to tell us something!” Kirk: “The first report by a human returned from the land of microbes!” Second panel, Scotty: “--I said, ‘Get me some clothes, mon! I’m poppin’ out of this silly thing!” Spock: “Ha-ha-ha!” Kirk: “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”]

Ha-ha-ha-ha. Yes, that’s Spock laughing. I guess “Spock doesn’t laugh” wasn’t covered in the, I’m guessing, three sentence summary of Star Trek that the writers of this had to go on.

Anyway, they go back to the planet and tell Madame President that they’re going to deliver the anti-shrink rays so the population can be restored to proper size, although ‘proper size’ is not the size they’ve been used to being all their lives so one wonders if they really want that, but, eh, who cares. With General Kwy’s treachery exposed, Madame President has concocted a special punishment for him: he’ll be the last one on the whole world returned to full size. That’ll show him.

A happy ending (?), but of course we have to wrap up with something pithy.

[ID: Kirk sitting in the captain’s chair while Scotty and Spock stand nearby. Scotty: “--And I’ll tell you one thing, I’ll never make fun of another man’s size again!” Spock: “Experience is a great teacher!” Kirk: “Teacher? This kind of experience is a full professor!”]

Well, they tried.

#star trek #star trek Gold Key #recap tag #star trek Gold Key recaps #GK 25 Dwarf Planet #GK 25 Dwarf Planet recap

[peachywise]

Falling With You

steve harrington x reader

– one-shot

– synopsis: You were the best babysitter ever. Who else would take the kids to an abandoned hospital? It’s just too bad Steve Harrington doesn’t think the same. (age; 17-18) (au where you’re will and jonathan’s sibling) 

– notes: so this is pure fluff and i don’t think i edited it that well, but I HOPE YOU ENJOY, as always theres a slight swear warning, and i guess an accident tw?? the reader hurts their leg a bit. let a gal know if you want to be added to the tag list!! 

You were the best god damn baby sitter ever.

For about two weeks, your little brother Will has been talking about an abandoned old hospital about an hour out of town. It was small, not a massive structure, and you knew it wasn’t unheard of for some people to go out there at night and explore. Will and his friends had wanted to go so bad, but the only possible way they could get there by themselves was with their bikes which would take a while. Since Jonathan was the only one with a car, they had asked him to take them, but he quickly rejected that idea. Apparently, it was too dangerous. What an uptight loser.

But of course, being the better sibling, you had no reservations about taking them. You just needed the right opportunity. And finally, it had come.

Today was the day you got to babysit the gang. Jonathan had gotten news the day before that he had to take an emergency shift when Joyce was also working. You were quick to offer your very free baby sitting services to make sure they wouldn’t call Steve Harrington to take over. There wasn’t any need for that Farrah Fawcett hair wannabe. He’d spoil the fun.

Just last night you had borrowed Jonathan’s car to scope out the hospital. You had said you were just going over to Nancy’s house to study, but that was a blatant lie. Really, you just wanted to make sure there weren’t any weird things lying about the old place, and to get a lay of the land so you wouldn’t get lost leading them around. You weren’t as uptight as your brother or Steve, but you still gave a damn about their safety.

But now? Now it was time to let them know the good news. Making your way into the dining room area, where Mike, Max, Dustin, Lucas, El, and Will were all crowded around talking over one another in a flurry of words you couldn’t understand, you unceremoniously smashed the car keys you had hidden from Jonathan this morning (making him walk to work), and yelled out, “who’s ready to go to the doctors?”

All you got in return was a collective stare of confusion from the kids. Maybe that wasn’t as clever as you thought.

Clearing your throat slightly, you tried to nonchalantly twirl the key ring around your finger as you stated, “we’re going to go to that abandoned hospital while it’s still light out, get your butts in the car.” You had never heard such a chorused reaction. Will smiled brightly as he raised his fist in the air excitedly, looking towards Dustin and Lucas who both chattered excitedly. Max seemed indifferent, but you easily knew she was just as excited as they were. El just looked at Mike, who stared at you and said the obvious, “all of us aren’t going to fit in the car.” Dustin let out a long groan of, “come on, Mike.”

“You guys are small, and it’s only a short ride. Two of you can sit in the front, and four of you can squish in the back. As long as you don’t tell your parents,” you said pointedly, glaring your eyes playfully at your little brother, “then I don’t see much of an issue.” As reserved as Mike still seemed, everyone was already up and moving out the door so he really couldn’t argue. Patting his back gently, you muttered, “don’t worry so much, El will protect you from any big bad we may find,” before skipping out the door with the rest of them, just as excited.

As soon as you stepped outside, Dustin, Lucas, and Will were all fighting for shot gun on the front porch. “Why don’t you guys just rock, paper, scissors for it?” you offered, as you popped open the driver’s side of Jonathan’s beat up car. As the boys proceeded to just that, you gave a knowing nod at Max who quickly scurried into the middle passengers seat and shut the door. You heard Dustin exclaim, “that’s not fair,” as you gave a conspiring grin to the red-headed girl.

As the rest of the kids climbed in the car, Lucas seemingly winning the coveted final shot-gun spot, you double checked to see that everyone was safe and secure before pulling out of the gravel lot and driving off.

The trip ended up being a bit shorter than an hour, thank God for that. Being in a cramped car with a bunch of noisy preteens turned out to be not the most enjoyable experience. Especially since you had to pull over the car twice for Dustin who had to go to the bathroom. What kind of mutant bladder did that kid even have?

By the time you had pulled the car into a small dirt lot walking distance the hospital, you were so close to ripping Jonathan’s steering wheel out and hurdling it into the back seat at them. Instead, you went the moral route. “Hey!” you shouted, clapping your hands for added dramatic effect. They all quickly quieted down and stared at you with wide eyes. “Be careful while we’re in they’re alright? Don’t separate from the group, and we have to be out before it get’s dark. Got it?”

Lucas was the first to speak up, adding “but what if—”

You raised your hand up to cut him off. “Nope. Those are the rules.” The group collectively muttered various agreements, as everyone scrambled out of the car. Stretching your limbs out, you turned to glance down at your little brother who’s eyes were glued to the street. “Will, what’s up?”

Turning his attention towards you, his eyebrows were slightly creased. “Uh, no, it’s nothing. I just thought I saw Steve’s car behind us for a while there.” Oh no. Oh shit. “You thought you saw Steve’s car?” you questioned carefully, gripping both of his shoulders and holding on for dear life. “Yeah! But no one’s here, someone must have had a similar car…” he trailed off, his eyes wandering to look over your shoulder again. His face dropped a bit.

Turning to look over your own shoulder with a slowness and anticipation only seen in horror movies, you let out a long breath as you noticed a very familiar car pull into the lot. “Here comes dad, everyone” you muttered out loud. Dustin stifled back a snorted laugh.

Letting go of Will, you moved him a little behind you as if to block him from view of the fight that was inevitable about to happen. Such innocent eyes shouldn’t have to bear witness to something that was going to be so utterly disappointing.

“What do you guys think you’re doing here,” Steve’s demanding voice rung out as he opened his car door, swinging it shut behind him in an almost theatrical motion. He planted his hands on his hips. Here we go.

“Have you taken up stalking now, Harrington?” you questioned with a quirked smirk, stepping up to the boy who was dressed in some sort of gym uniform. Must have had basketball practice or something. Not that you noticed what he did in his spare time. Nope.

“Stalking?” He sputtered out in a bit of shock, before trying to cover it up with a laugh of disbelief. “No. I went to your house to give Dustin the hat he forgot in my car since I knew he was there, but instead I saw someone cramming six kids into one small car,” he accused pointedly. Fair.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you inquired defensively, “so what? You just decided to follow us? Steve, you really should get a hobby.”

It seemed that pinched a nerve. Good.

Making a scoffing noise, Steve stepped closer to you as if to intimidate you. It didn’t work. “I was going to offer to drive some of them to wherever the hell you were going if I caught up to you, but I didn’t think you were going to this freaking death trap!” You gave a small fake yawn, as Max mumbled behind you, “this is getting boring.” You agreed.

“Seriously, we’re going back, get in” Steve continued, as he marched his way over to his car and opened up the back seat door, pointing inside like some lame ass admiral. No one made any effort to move as he just gave a stern look back. After about a half a minute long stare down, all he did was breathe out a frustrated, “really?”

Rolling your eyes, you walked up to his car and slammed his door shut. “You can leave if you want, Steve. It’s alright. We know you don’t like fun,” you smiled as you brushed past him, Lucas giving a small ‘ooo’ sound as you did. “Come on guys, let’s go ghost hunting,” you cheerfully stated, wrapping your arm around Will’s shoulder as the small group began to make their way down the trail. You heard gravel moving behind you as if Steve was pacing, but after about a minute, his steps caught up to you.

Dropping your arm away from your brother, Steve was quick to grip it and stop you in your tracks. “What now?” you bit out, turning to face his hard look. Dang. Intense looked kind of good on him.

“Come on, are we going or not?” Mike pressed as he turned to look at you two from the head of the trail. Sighing, you shrugged your arm from Steve and ordered, “just follow the trail and we’ll catch up. Don’t go in without us.” Will was the only one who seemed slightly hesitant, but a tiny smile at your brother seemed to reassure him enough as he moved along with the rest of his friends.

“Do you even know what could be in there? Squatters. Dangerous medical equipment. Murderers!” Steve exclaimed, as he actually threw his hands up into the air. Wow. You’d never seen anyone actually do that before. “You really think that lowly of me? Steve, I was here last night. Other than a few old structures, it’s safe. It’s pretty much gutted,” you commented honestly. You were more hurt than anything at his lack of trust in you. You were only a year younger than him, and had taken care of the kids countless times. “We’re only going to be here for an hour or two, tops. Besides, I have my pocket knife on me,” you added with a shrug of your shoulders.

“You have a what?!” He hollered out. Mmm. Maybe you shouldn’t have mentioned that.

Poking his chest, he stumbled back a bit as you glared up at the taller boy. “Oh don’t you judge me, Steve Harrington. Are you telling me that if I go look in the trunk of your car right now, I won’t find that nail bat in there?” you gritted out, as his eyes seemed genuinely a little stunned. He sat there stuttering for a second, as if unsure what to say, but still wanting to prove he was right. In the end he gave up. Sweet victory.

“Okay. Fine,” he sighed.

For a beat, you two just stood their eyeing each other down, but it was broken all too soon when he hesitantly asked, “do you mind if we go back so I can grab it?” You didn’t even try to stop the laughter that busted out of you. He just gave you a dirty look as you tried to calm yourself down enough to smile and say, “yeah we can go get it.” 

By the time you two had finally made it to the front entrance of the small, three story hospital, the kids were no where in sight. Oops. 

“Perfect. This is great!” Steve chastised, turning to give you a disapproving look. Oh no. He wasn’t pinning this on you. 

“This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t shown up and needed to get that stupid bat of yours!” you shot back, stomping up the steps of the hospital and swinging open the rickety, pale green door. Shit. They weren’t even inside the entrance. Where the hell could they have gone? 

“This bat isn’t stupid, and it’s sure as hell better than whatever crappy little switch blade you have with you.” You gasped in fake melodramatic shock, whirling to look back at him. “Well,” you breathed, trying to come up with another comeback. You came up flat as you weakly retorted, “I have better hair than you.” Steve just chuckled, bumping his shoulder into yours as he passed by with a bored, “we both know that isn’t true.” Yeah. He was right, But you wouldn’t admit it. 

Dragging your hands down your face, you span around the dirty area in frustration. “Maybe we should just split up and look for them? You take one side, I’ll take the other?” Steve quickly shot that idea down as he said, “Uh, no. Splitting up is the worst thing we can do. We should wait here until they get back.” 

“Well that’s a stupid idea too,” you mumbled, as you began to walk up the eastern corridor, not even waiting for Steve. They weren’t some lost kids in a grocery store. He just let out an aggravated groan before catching up to you.

You began to search rooms in a somewhat comfortable silence, making a passing comment here or there about how weird the place was or pointing out any sign that one of the kids had passed by. You half suspected them of playing some twisted game of hide and seek being how quiet they all were, but before you had time to propose such a theory, Steve spoke first. 

“So why did you take them here?” Turning to give him a look that you hope read ‘don’t argue with me again or I’ll use your own bat against you’, he lifted his one free hand in feigned innocence. “Just curious.” 

Studying him for a moment, you let your guard down a tiny bit as you began poking around in a large room you once suspected was an emergency ward. “Will had mentioned it a few times. I knew that if I didn’t take them, they’d end up just finding a way to get here themselves,” you stated truthfully, as you moved a squeaky curtain from side to side. Steve stepped behind it, and as you moved it away to reveal his face, he contorted his features into a goofy look. With a grin, you laughed and gave him a playful push away. Stepping back out of the room to continue the search, you continued, “anyways, I thought it’d be kind of fun. They seemed really excited about it.” 

He nodded along, glancing down at you as you walked side by side. “Makes sense. Those weirdos would have ridden their bikes down here,” he offered, as you both laughed at the image. Yeah, that would have been pretty bad. 

Moving into the next space, you noted how the wooden floor creaked under you. Too bad you needed to cross it to get the next corridor. Turning to warn Steve to walk across it one at a time, unsure it would support both of your weight, your hypothesis was unfortunately proved correct as he stepped on the floor after you and it cracked and began to cave in. Letting out a small yelp of surprise as you started to fall through, you shut your eyes tightly, bracing for impact. You barely registered the deep shout of your name as hands wrapped around you, pressing your body hard against theirs, head nestled to their chest.

Blinking open your eyes as a severe pain radiated through your leg, you winced under the uncomfortable feeling of whatever you landed on. It looked to be a bunch of boxes. Thank fuck they weren’t filled with used needles or something.

Feeling one of the hands around your waist clutch tighter, you tried to wriggle your way out of Steve’s death grip. “Y/N, are you okay?” he moaned, as he rolled over to flop off the cushion of boxes, and on to the cement floor. Could have been worse. He could have still been holding his nail bat. 

Trying to move yourself to the ground to join him, you had to stop as any sort of shift in your leg caused a sharp shooting pain that almost made you bite the inside of your cheek off. Not good. Not good at all.

“My leg kind of hurts,” you underplayed with a wince, as Steve struggled to get himself off the ground to stand up. You felt a small blush rise to your cheeks as the bottom half of his shirt lifted when he stretched up, revealing a bit of his abs. Man, did he have those all along? 

“Bend down, let me see if you have any cuts or anything,” you motioned, just about ready to make this bed of boxes your new home. Not like you were moving anytime soon. 

“Bend down?” He asked a little confused, as he did just that. But instead of showing you his face, he simply moved to inspect your leg. What a little asshole. “How much does your leg hurt, Y/N?” He questioned, as he moved your pant leg up a bit. To try and stop yourself from yelling out in pain at the sudden motion, you slammed your hand down on the box and squeaked out a totally normal sounding, “not that bad.” Super subtle. 

“Sounds like it,” he muttered, as he moved one of his hands to your back and the other arm under your legs. This time you didn’t hold back the painful cry you let out, as he picked you up princess style. You didn’t know what was more painful, your leg, or your embarrassment. 

“Put me down!” you complained, as Steve tried to shift you into a more comfortable position as he carried you gently across the room. “Calm down,” he gritted out, as he tried his best to sit on the floor cross-legged, setting you on his lap while still cradling you. Oh God, you were going to die down here. You were going to die cradled in Steve’s arms, smelling like old dried up hospital and residual Farrah Fawcett hairspray. 

“Steve, please, I’m begging you put me on the ground,” you complained, tensing up at how weird the situation was. Even he was avoiding eye contact. “Look, I don’t know what’s wrong with your leg, but this way it won’t shift,” he stated, his hands slightly moving down your back.

Slumping a bit in his arms, you turned your head to look down at your folded hands, fighting the rising heat spreading to your cheeks. You couldn’t come up with an argument to fight his reason.

After about five minutes of absolute silence, Steve whistled under his breath. Yeah, no, you couldn’t just sit around and wait like this. “Uhm, should we yell out or something? I’m sure one of them is bound to hear,” you mumbled, clearing your throat as you glanced up at his face. He looked down, and it was like you finally just noticed how close you two really were. Oh no. 

“Uh, yep. Probably a good idea,” he agreed a little softly, as neither of you made any motion to open your mouths and actually yell anything out. 

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Steve quickly asked, as you cocked your head to the side a bit. You had no idea where this was headed. “Yeah, sure,” you replied, studying his features as he seemed to be struggling with his words. Smiling a little, you teasingly said, “not like I’m going anywhere anyways.” He visibly relaxed.

“You said something before about how I think lowly of you,” he started, as he looked up at the gaping hole in the ceiling where you guys fell, breaking eye contact. You weren’t sure you were going to like this conversation. “Is that really what you think?” 

“Yes,” you replied, before quickly changing the answer to, “no. I’m not really sure. You just seem to treat me like one of the kids a lot, like I’m irresponsible. I don’t think you trust me, is all.” 

Immediately, his eyes found yours again, shock written all over his face. “No, no you have that all wrong!” He countered, with just a touch of panic in his voice. Giving him a slightly curious gaze, he seemed to be searching your face for something as he continued, “it’s not that at all.” You weren’t particularly sure what to reply to that, but as his wandering eyes settled to look at your lips, you weren’t sure you’d have to. 

Lowering his head, Steve hesitantly pressed his lips against yours in the most soft, tentative kiss. It lasted only a moment before he pulled back, but you instinctively moved your head forward, already missing it. 

His hand tightened a little on your back, as he waited for your reaction with an anxious look. You said the first thing that came to your still hazy mind. 

“So you don’t think I’m a bad babysitter?” 

A beat passed as you both stared at one another in silence, but as a snort escaped you, you both bursted into loud laughter. Covering your face with your hands, you bent down to nestle your head under the crook of his neck, slightly embarrassed. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he continued to laugh, with a little bit of smugness laced in his tone. Shifting to look back at him, you shook your head in disbelief as you stated, “then we have to do a better job than that.” Wrapping your arms around his neck, and kissing him back fervently. This one was a bit more deep and intense, and holy hell, you would curl your toes if it didn’t hurt so god damn much. 

As you tangled your fingers through his silky hair, you nearly melted when a soft moan escaped him, and suddenly, the whole falling through the floor situation didn’t seem as bad. 

“Eww, I don’t want to see that!” 

Yeah, suddenly it was much, much worse. 

Breaking apart, you turned to look up to where your brother Will was poking his head through the giant hole, the rest of the kids soon following suite. Steve in a jerk reaction let go on his hold on you, and you tumbled on to the floor in an aching heap as a result.

Ignoring the rebirth of pain in your leg, you and Steve both shouted out, “don’t tell your parents what happened!” at the same time. 

– General Tags (sorry this isn’t IT y’all, let me know if you want to be just tagged in IT/ST general tags or both): @multi-parker @stan-the-losers-club-man @ubertrashmouth @this-cute-shit-xo @breederofguilt @babylovereddie @derrydenbrough 

#stranger things #stranger things imagine #st #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve x reader #st fandom #stranger things fandom #st imagine #joe keery #joe keery x reader #finn wolfhard x reader #mike x reader #mike wheeler x reader #eleven #jane hopper #millie bobby brown #max mayfeild #sadie sink #lucas sinclair #caleb mclaughlin #dustin henderson #gaten matarazzo #jonathan byers #jonathan byers x reader #will byers x reader #will x reader #byler #steve harrington fic

[izzy-b-hands]

In the weirdest fucking headspace today over two very intense dreams I had (that utterly fucked up my sleep last night, hence why I'm waking up at 12 in the fucking afternoon when I had an alarm set for ten lmao.)

Warning in advance that I'm on mobile and this post will be long, my apologies but I need to get this out now or I'm not even gonna be able to roll out of bed. TW for parts of the dreams which feature: a funeral, a funeral procession, issues with family, drowning/death via being swept out to sea, and also some odd romance/implied sex because sure why not apparently.

The first woke me up at like five, and was v weird but distinct:

Mum and I were getting to her car, that for unexplained reasons was parked at a local funeral home, which for some reason was on a hill (we don't have many hills here, v flat place, but in the dream it was all hills, almost mountains.) The implication I got in the dream was that it was the only parking spot left which is weird but sure I guess.

We didn't actually attend the funeral going on inside, but it finished up as we were trying to leave, discussing usual stuff we do before we go home like do we have the cash/feel lazy enough to get fast food on the way home instead of cook. And before mum could back out of the spot they started loading the hearse and ppl were all over the lot which pissed mum off, so she drove OVER THE FUCKING SIDEWALK AROUND PLANTS IN CEMENT PLANTERS ON THE SIDEWALK to get past them!

Which was half pointless anyway, because my grandparents were in their car right by the entrance/exit and made fun of her for doing that and for not wanting to be in the procession to the cemetery. Grandpa specifically told her 'theres a word for ppl who do what you do, we have a saying about you' and laughed at her, but wouldn't explain that further.

This next bit had me legit looking up funeral procession laws when I woke up. Because mum did get caught somehow behind the hearse even tho we'd left the lot well before it did? And was somewhat understandably flipping out because we weren't actually meant to be a part of the procession, we'd only parked there because there was nowhere else to. And if we looked back you could see my grandparents laughing at us for panicking, so finally mum broke the procession and headed up this v hilly road, winding, again almost mountainous. The last thing we saw was my grandparents looking at us and glaring. Mum kept freaking out abt how it wasn't her fault she'd had to break the law and break the procession, but she wasn't going to lose her job over all this (no idea what in the fuck that has to do with it all frankly, but she said it in the dream.)

I kept trying to calm her and said we could turn around, or pause in someone's driveway (the roads were all lined with familiar houses we've driven past irl) but she wouldn't calm, and the last thing I remember before I woke up was her turning the wheel harshly and hearing the tires skid on the edge of the very high up mountain road.

So needless to say that fucked me up and I didn't sleep again until abt eight, because I went to shower and try and chill out before crawling into my bed in my room, before I'd been passed out on the couch.

Only to then have this dream before I woke up just recently:

No family in this one, only band members from bands I like and their family (which is just my brain making a good casting decision I suppose lol.) Specifically, Queen and Avatar.

The issue was...odd. We were stuck very near the seaside, near a boardwalk that looked alarmingly similar to the one in GTA/that tbh you would see in any game modelled after the West coast. In a building that Brian (though in the dream, it was hard to know it was him?? Like him and Bri and Freddie and John kept switching ages, one minute it was 70s Bri, then suddenly Bri now, and it was hard to follow for some reason) knew and explained to us was an old boarding school building, often used for safety for folks during times of flooding.

And in the dream I just went sure yeah okay because I had no reason to believe otherwise, and also a storm was raging outside and had been for the entire dream. Like we could hear waves hitting the building constantly.

Which was extra dangerous, because the Avatar lads and their family members (I was told all their families were there, like Henrik's wife and kids plus Paky and Jacob with Johannes, Tim's pup was there, but I only saw them randomly for the rest of the dream after being told by John (Avatar John, to clarify lol) that they had brought everyone with them) were up on this balcony that we had been instructed (by who, no fucking clue, but we trusted them implicitly apparently) was the safest place in the building and measuring from it and the iron rod fencing around it that matched the same on the building across from us would ensure our safety more (if the waves hit with a certain strength on buildings too far apart, the buildings would both be washed out to sea. Does that make logical sense? Probably not anywhere irl, but it did in the dream.)

So the entirety of Avatar are up there trying to make these measurements, arguing with Bri and Rog especially over this even being helpful to do when

And you can laugh at this, because I did too when I woke up.

There were canoes we could rent (RENT. As if we would be able to bring them back lmao) downstairs instead!! In like a surf shack thing that was in the fucking school building apparently? And bless them for a bit they really thought we could ride out the storm in them (Tim offered to share one with me and his dog. It was v sweet lol.)

Unfortunately, we then immediately (all of us now somehow crowded on the balcony which was way too big for a balcony tbh) watched a bunch of ppl outside the building try to do just that. And they failed. Miserably.

We didn't see bodies, but you just knew they were dead. Paky was crying, John (Queen, since we had two Johns to deal with in this lol) was v upset and kept talking abt how that wasn't a baptism that would get them into Heaven.

So the canoe idea was abandoned even tho the salesdude kept calling up to us and offering what he had left. Nice dude, immediately got swept out to sea by the end of the dream.

Cut back to us on the balcony, panicking. Tim keeps thanking me for holding his dog so she doesn't jump into the sea (she had no intention, and spent the entire dream in his arms, mine, or Jonas's, snuggling and whimpering and it was Honestly Heart Wrenching.) I remind him we're in this together and it's no problem. He pulls me aside for what I'm going to politely censor and just call a v weird and frankly ill-timed makeout session (then again, maybe being about to be swept out to sea is the best time for that?? Idk, but I digress except to say he was a wonderful kisser, but also we both kept crying abt realising we were going to drown, so it was A Lot for both of us I think.)

When we return, Brian has let everyone know that the final calculations are that we will certainly be swept out to sea, but so long as the building stays upright?? We won't drown and die. How does he know this? No explanation was given.

I end up hunkered down with Freddie and Jim and Tim and his pup (the cats for Freddie and Jim I never saw, but heard yowling in their crates so. As safe as can reasonably be???) My Nisha apparently didn't get to go with me for this dream, because I did look for her at points, but couldn't find her (Tim cried with me over that too and helped, v supportive, and now outside of the dream may I say v kind of dream him to do that for me.)

And we just...waited. Knew death was coming, and could do nothing abt it. The only comfort we could reach was that it would be like a museum at the bottom of the sea. Freddie and Tim reasoned that the Titantic, if you could walk in the ruins, might be like that. All old clothes and bones and ppls stuff. And so the school building we were in would be like that too, and we all agreed we liked museums, so maybe it wasn't the worst way to go.

Then the wave actually hit though, and it was just fkn chaos. Tim hanging onto his dog and my waist, myself hanging onto Freddie and Jim by the loops on their jeans (how tf that didn't just rip my fingers off, no idea. *Dream Magic*)

I realized horrifically that as we went down, the building was literally falling apart, bricks and iron work bars flying around us. And all I could see were bones when I looked down into the water, bones from every era but particularly Victorian by the clothes on them for some reason.

What was particularly cruel in this dream was that it ended with a false awakening. I 'woke up' to Tim's arm around my waist, and his nose nuzzling at my neck, asking me wtf I was dreaming abt because I was kicking him and could I pls stop? (Fair request, that's honestly an irl problem that my legs apparently have always tried to fight off bad dreams on their own, much to the bruises and regret of anyone who shares my bed.) And just as I turned around to answer him and tell him how fkn scared I was and how grateful I was he was there and ya know, not dead and drowned,

I woke up for real, alone, in my actual bed.

So now I'm feeling extra lonely, fucked up, and honestly peeved that the dream interpretation dictionary I usually use isn't helping much to make sense of any of this.

#text post #tw death #tw drowning #tw dream interpretation #i guess??? kind of lol #tw funerals #not sure of any other tws to add rn #but if y'all want something added lemme know!!! #and here we see how even when i sleep deeply enough to dream i often wake up and feel weird and exhausted lmao #i really could go off more abt the bits with Tim in this too but i dont wanna be like inappropriate or anything #i know it wasn't real of course it just felt so dang real

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

I need more batman media but I don't know what to watch or where to watch it and Netflix took off Young Justice and Justice League :(:( do you have any fic recs or fun facts

A.  Blogsto follow if you haven’t already followed them, the first three write FREAKINGAMAZING fanfic and the fourth creates THE BEST fanart I have literally sat and scrolled through these blogs for hours

@camsthisky (good GOSH I love her she writes so much about Dick Grayson)

@audreycritter

@preciousthingsareprecious

@laquilasse

B.  RandomFics to Read (and honestly there are so many more, I just can’t think of themat the moment):

1. TheAcrobat Series 

by fishfingersandjellybabies http://archiveofourown.org/works/4079917

Look anytime anyone talks about how much Dick loveshis family they’ve won my heart and soul. I especially like the Kori section.

2.  Mori Shej 

bydickiegayson  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12298375/1/Mori-Shej

OH MY GOSH.  Ilove this story so freaking much.  Ok,imagine if Jason Todd, after coming back from the dead and going through allthat stuff with the Lazarus Pit and training, goes after Dick Grayson to gethis revenge on Bruce.  Except when heshows up at Dick’s apartment, ready to kill the Golden Son, he finds somethingcompletely unexpected.  Jason has a lotof issues, Dick has a lot of issues (courtesy of the Blockbuster incident).  I have read and reread this story countlesstimes, and I can never not cry because I love my broken sons so much.  There is a lot of anger, some cursing, muchregret, and brothers being brothers.  And Dick is the sweetest most protective [redacted because spoiler] and Jason has a mushy heart after all.  Itcan stand as complete but I think the author is writing more?  Also, either before or after, or both, go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqeNxdyp5CEand listen to the song.  It is my newfavorite song and CAN YOU IMAGINE DICK SINGING IT OH MY GOSH

3.  the roadwill only be wide (the rain will never stop falling) 

by weird_bird (2weird4) http://archiveofourown.org/works/8610391/chapters/19743343

A collection of Dick and Damian moments.  So very beautiful.

4.  The RobinsUnited Series, first story is Bird by Bird 

by laceymcbain  http://archiveofourown.org/works/2656487/chapters/5936243

…some hurt/comfort, Jason doesn’t know what the hellto do with his family, and they all insist on calling him brother.  *shrugs* family feels are my drug of choice

5.  Penny Lane 

by @jerseydevious  http://archiveofourown.org/works/11757690

Damian wants a horse, and drat I’m crying?  (tbh I cry very easily over my sons…but still)

6.  Sun Spot 

byDawn’sEternalLight (@preciousthingsareprecious) http://archiveofourown.org/works/11748606

This fic is a quiet moment of beauty and rest for Dickand Damian.  Damian draws, and Dickwatches his talented little bro.  Thereis sunlight.  You skin will clear andyour crops will grow and any heartache you have ever had will be healed likemagic!

C.  Abunch of fics by Kieron_O’Duibhir

1.  TheTill-Then From the Ever-Since http://archiveofourown.org/works/3506603/chapters/7707866  

There is a problem in the Batcave, as in, youngerversions of the Batfam keep turning up. It’s absolutely fantastic, and one of my favorite things is youngerJason being SO done with his older self and calling him out on stuff and being all protective of his brothers.  It gets better and better with every chapter.

2.  But a Walking Shadow http://archiveofourown.org/works/4259511/chapters/9641367

 Sothis story is not finished yet and the author takes waaay long to post updateson it but she has promised not to abandon it soo…It is Nightwing-centric, witha whole mess of comic Teen Titans making appearances.  The author has written a lot of stories abouta world where Dick became a Talon, and in this tale Talon-on-the-run winds upon Earth-1 and Nightwing is trying to figure out who this apparent clone of hisis.  Talon Dick has always intrigued me,and it is interesting seeing him and Nightwing face off.

3.  All the Roofs of Uncertainty http://archiveofourown.org/works/2273208/chapters/4994631

HOLY HECK this is one of my favorite Jason Todd fanfics EVER.  I love the description by the author “The onewhere Dick bleeds a lot and Jason argues with everybody.”  Jason is in the wrong spot at the wrong time,ie. He finds Dick bleeding to death and is forced to save him.  Tim and Damian make appearances.  Jason has anger issues.  That doesn’t stop him from caring.  Bruce and Jason hash things out in the mostbeautiful (painful) way.

4.  Wheel and Blade 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2492957

 Inwhich Dick confronts Damian about his practice of taking weapons to school, andalso gets slightly distracted by the idea of living in a vardo.  I love this story because it shows the bestway to parent Damian—not by telling him no “because I said so” but byexplaining and debating things like he is smart and capable.  

5.  I Pass the Night Watchman on His Beat http://archiveofourown.org/works/2326226

Thisis a cool one-shot of Dick and Amy, his partner on the Bludhaven police force.  I freaking love Dick being a cop.

D.  Okay now if you want something towatch:

 1.     Nightwing—TheSeries 

by ismahawk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o297A1wmys0

This is THE BEST Nightwing fan film I haveever seen.  I love the Dick Grayson in it—he’sgot acrobatics, sounds like Jesse McCartney (Robin/Nightwing’s VA in YJ), and is quite handsome.  He fights, gets the stuffing beat out of himand keeps getting back up, has a bit of a temper, loves Barbara—perfection.  Watch it, you won’t regret it.  (Also Jason is there yay!  I will take him in any capacity I can get. And I kinda really like the actor for Bruce?)

2.     RedHood: The Series—Episode One “Homecoming” 

by tenshunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BdVSgshgFA&t=136s

My favorite Jason Toddfanfilm!!!  Heavily featuring TimDrake!  Look this adaption is fab, I lovethe actors and the dialogue and the fight between Jason and Tim (spoiler?)  As far as I know they are trying to puttogether a second episode.  Watch thevideo where Jason Todd tries to get people to donate money for it, itsHILARIOUS

3.      Batman The Animated Series is on Netflix tillSeptember 1st.  I’m in thesecond season and love it a lot…Alfred is so freaking sassy!  

4.     DamianWayne: Robins Fly at Night

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tS30bYjVmL4

 It’s just five minutesand doesn’t have any dialogue, and it doesn’t come close to deserving an Oscar, but dang it it’s hard to find Damian stuff…and also seeing a littlekid running around in the Robin costume made me realize that there is nothing Iwant more than to see Damian Wayne on the big screen, being all angry assassinkid, and Dick Grayson capturing him in a hug…

5. Gotham on Netflix

I am pretty sure you already watch this? But if not, DO!  It is AMAZING.  I love it so much, especially Bruce and Alfred and Selina Kyle

E.  Some things from Batman: Dark Victory

Okay I know he is a talented young acrobat and all but how the FUDGE did Dick get up on that chandelier?!  the kid can truly fly (yeah yeah, the stairs probably lead up to a hallway floor/balcony that Dick leapt off of but still) I wonder how many grey hairs the kid gave Alfred in those first weeks alone

On dark days I like to remember the time bby birb Dick Grayson caved in the Joker’s cheek with a well-placed kick.  My nine or ten year old son then proceeded to smash in the Joker’s teeth with a stick a few minutes later and it was amazing

You think I lied??  Nah my son Dick Grayson was cracking teeth and bones and witty puns from Day 1.  Go Robin!!!

Okay so just look at this picture.  Bby Dick is SO FREAKING TINY!!!  also very intense. OMG Batman’s fists are as big as his first son’s head!  *cue a very many feels in my heart*

F.  Random things I am including because I feel like it, and they all revolve around Dick Grayson mostly because he is my fave so…

1. Apparently some official websites say that Nightwing’s martial arts specialty is Aikido.  I do not think that word means what they think it means

2. “I close my eyes now for a few moments and I can see my parents riding the air current with me. Forever young. Forever strong. Their faces wide with excitement, big smiles on their faces, enjoying the adrenaline surge even more than I do. And there is one thing I am sure of … my parents would be proud of my life.” (Nightwing, Nightwing #141, 2008)  

3.  [Talking about Blüdhaven] “It’s a hopeless case. A lost cause. A town so mired in corruption and sin that it’s drowning … When Batman sent me here, I thought I’d solve one case and book. But then I realized … if I could make a difference here – well, that’d be something. This filthy old town needs me…. Surrounded by a dozen of my worst enemies. No way out. Nowhere to hide. The little brat was right. I do love it. (Nightwing, Nightwing Secret Files #1, 1999)

4.  There once was a dumb writer who thought killing Nightwing for real would be a good idea, and he tried writing toward that end, but everybody else was like hahahaha NO

5.  I used to hate when fic writers would shorten Damian’s name to Dami (kind of like how I majorly dislike when people shorten Sirius Black’s name to Siri, he is not an iPhone gosh).  But then I read a post on tumblr that said something about Dami actually meaning something in Arabic, something like blood or life-blood or heart blood…I can’t exactly remember what and maybe it isn’t even true but I choose to believe it is and that Dick knows exactly what it means and he calls Damian Dami as a way to show how special he is, how much Dick loves him.  Because Damian is his little brother/son and means the absolute world to Dick.  And Damian, though he pretends to despise all nicknames, absolutely LOVES that Dick calls him this

#ummm I hope you haven't read all these fics yet #there are so many good ones out there #there is a tim drake one i can't remember the name of but if I find it I will add it #also I didn't really say anything about the girls #i love them a lot but somehow its the guys who i always talk about more? #sorry #also I talk about nightwing a lot #that I am not sorry about he is the love of my life #gosh def watch the nightwing and red hood films #so good #i need my dc streaming service like NOW #i kept getting distracted while writing this because I kept reading fanfic #batfam

[nayeon-sadly-owns-me]

So I read chapter two of Gold Dust By Stormymomo  and came to an understanding that I have too many thoughts about this fic to let it go to waste. Warning, this will be longer than your average “review” more like analysis and recap split into 3 parts following something about theories if I’m up for it. As someone who will probably be on her way to a master’s degree in Psychology by the time Gold Dust is finished (exaggeration, I fucking hope I swear to-) it’s in my blood to analyze this fic to its core.

I can promise 4 things:

1) There is a 100% chance that my perception of its characters and story will not be accurate due to missing details we won’t know until the future part(s). I say 100% because it will need to be updated. In fact, I could have completely come up reasonings that are completely false all together.

2) There is a 110% chance that I am looking into this story Way Too Deep and someone will have to tell me to stop taking it so seriously. (I already have one person)

3) No really its super long. If no one reads this to completion I will understand 1000%. I wrote this for me and who ever is willing to read it. I tried not to include every scene despite the fact that nearly every scene is important and Stormy just writes so fucking much.

4) There will be grammar mistakes. Im the amateur of all amateurs.

Spoilers beyond here

Chapter 1-

Story

We get the first glimpse at our main protagonist who is more like an Anti-hero through the eyes of Jeongyeon and Jackson. Nayeon is an absolute wreck. She is a train bound for riding off its tracks and off a bridge and she could care less. She rejects all forms of help and shows off how spiteful she is towards the world and I don’t think an introduction could have been written better than this.

Right off the bat we get a clear understanding of how mentally unstable she is. Between her fiery comments towards anyone who comes near her to her fucked up smirk when she lets out a comment meant to tear down Jeongyeon’s soul.

Within the first part, we already come to our first major question- what happened that made Jeongyeon so angry? We know it has to do with Nayeon’s manipulative comment “Maybe it was you” and “what they were- almost were- “but we are left with only our imagination. This ties into why I don’t think a better introduction could have been written. Not only was there physical evidence to Nayeon’s fucked up state with her being high, but also mental/emotional evidence in the form of Jeongyeon and Nayeon’s conversation. It draws you in because it gives you no answers.

Another establishment? She will do anything to escape her own personal hell that she only has herself to blame for. Especially if it means killing her from the inside out, alone.

We begin to see that tiny speck of light in explaining Nayeon’s extremely problematic traits with her conversation with JYP. Nayeon restrains herself when her father is mentioned but loses her composure when her mother is mentioned. A rooted issue that will be brought up later, but was a decent way of slyly introducing a storyline that still has yet to be fleshed out.

If there is one thing about being a good author, it’s that you have to be able to create questions that cannot be answered with a simple sentence. If you can create questions that have no immediate answers then it will leave the reader coming back for more. Stormy nails this aspect whether it was intentional or not (probs was knowing her).

Although its brief, we get a glance that Nayeon feels as broken as she keeps wanting the world to see and feel. Her conversation about how things aren’t getting better and how she had set herself up for disappointment begins a foundation for wanting to understand her more. After an engaging first scene, we are now forced to come to terms with the fact that she is not 100% the spiteful fucked up mess we were initially led to believe.

So begins Nayeon’s therapy trips at the strong encouragement from JYP that Nayeon is too smart (or too prideful) to decline.

I have to applaud Stormy on being able to capture what being a Therapist is all about. It’s not about quick fixes but playing the long game. Each patient requires a different technique that works for them. I found it intriguing to read how small talk is the tactic that is most effective on her, although it is very time consuming in the long run. Both JYP and Seungyeon used it on her with positive results as time passed. It says a lot for a girl who prides herself on being alone and how she doesn’t care about anyone around her. More on this later.

The group therapy sessions are where we meet two subtle characters, Tzuyu and Chaeyoung although its not much.

Then of course we meet Momo and things begin to spiral from there. Nayeon’s established vibe of non-caring is forcefully thrown out the window because now there is someone there who is aware of who she is. This entire section was dedicated to her thinking about how Momo could ruin her reputation. Yet, Nayeon has made every attempt to appear uncaring of those around her and what they think. The first major contradiction of her thought process, and the first real moment you can see how her insecurities make her react.

We are quickly told that Momo is basically a loner with no friends by choice. Interesting how Nayeon, acknowledges this but choices to pry over Momo’s social status instead. It’s a good indication of where her interest lie.

Momo and Nayeons first encounter is intense to say the least. Nayeon expresses her insecurity for Momo to see, the way Momo expresses her “abandonment issues and inferiority complex” by displaying it on her hand for Nayeon to read. When Momo says that Nayeon isn’t there out of insecurity it feels like she’s half right/half wrong. Nayeon isn’t there because she wants help with her insecurities, she’s there BECAUSE of how her insecurities and demons have shaped her.

They described the bare bones of each others demons with ease, and I think that was the spark that grew into the wildfire that is their relationship. You live your life not having anyone care, and then suddenly someone is there to describe you in 5-10 seconds. It no doubt created a shift in both their lives.

Nayeon’s initial physical attraction to Momo could be seen a mile away. Leave it to Sana to be a form of catalyst to bring that aspect to light. Nayeon goes from thinking she has a pretty smirk to thinking she was attractive in .02 seconds. The first signs that she has claimed Momo starts and relatively speaking ends with Sana being involved.

If there is one thing I want, Momo storytelling wise, it’s to find out her relationship with Chaeyoung/Tzuyu. She is on good enough terms to even have a nickname with Chaeyoung and even communicate with Tzuyu in a way she will understand. For any other character, this would be silly to think about. They go to group therapy together, maybe for months/years? Of course they would find something to bond over. But this is Momo. The girl who is doesn’t want friends because they always leave. Here is Chaeyoung in a sense, leaving, even if she is coming back for sessions. Momo comforts Tzuyu on the matter pretty well despite having abandonment issues that plague her.

It’s hard to come up with the right words to explain why this scene bothered me. Momo has her own habits to combat her demons, but she isn’t good about explaining it. We don’t learn much about her reasoning behind them or even what they’re from. All we know is that she has embraced the fact that she is unable to be loved, cared for, and worthy of peoples time. These are irrational thoughts that have made it hard to swallow her relationship with these two. 2 things are established: Momo always leaves first from the meetings, and Momo doesn’t allow people to get too close to her. So, when did she get time to establish such a relationship and what made her want to?

You know you’re a good author when THIS is my only nitpick. It’s question that I’ve seen barely any indication of an answer and it is by far my most anxious one. I have full faith that Stormy can answer it to satisfaction though.

Moving on. Still with me?

Momo is a tricky character to understand without context. First she avoids everyone for years and then suddenly she’s fixated on Im Nayeon. It’s too the point that she casually strolls up to her because she wants to walk with her to their group session. Momo is seeking out her company. Recall back to the scene when they were playing the ‘Guess my baggage in 5 seconds’ game. Nayeon actually took her seriously, she gave her a straight answer. Maybe the first genuine interaction Momo has had outside of the Therapist office/Group Session area in years. Momo stayed behind because she was curious about what Nayeon’s deal was, but Nayeon’s answer was what really brought out this stubborn need to know more.

Nayeon could have laughed in her face and called her a freak (She has the attitude to say worst honestly). She didn’t. In that moment, I think Momo saw Nayeon in a different light, even if for a moment.

So the school scene makes sense. Nayeon’s reaction makes sense. Because Momo was in fact half-wrong about her previous statement. Nayeon does have insecurities. She just hides them by creating dominance and showing “strength” by belittling others. It doesn’t work on Momo though. She pushes her up against the vending machine 3 times, and doesn’t get the response she wants each time. For someone who is a manipulative bitch, this eats away at her. It is easy to understand why she becomes so fixated on Momo. What works on everyone else, is apparently ineffective with her. In other words, she has lost control between them and the Im Nayeon in this fic can’t emotionally handle that.

Im appalled at myself for not being able to come up with a decent idea as to why Nayeon follows her home. She just does. Maybe she wants to grasp onto some sort of advantage that can be used later on? I thought that my first read through, I was surprised that it never came. In fact, Nayeon pretends all together that this event didn’t happen when she takes Momo home. Just goes to show that Nayeon is unpredictable.

The fact that Momo doesn’t acknowledge her really hits home that Nayeon has lost control over the situation. It’s an oddly pleasant moment to watch her struggle against not being acknowledged by Momo. Remember when she boasted to herself about not needing anyone nor caring about anyone? And then took it back by caring about her reputation, then taking that back and caring about whether or not she cares more about Momo annoying her or avoiding her? Yeah same. Nayeon’s got issues that are unfolding one after another because her sense of balance has been shifted.

We get a nice reminder that Momo is just as deep as Nayeon though when she gives her her jacket of course. Can’t have Nayeon getting sick of course.

Nayeon goes out of her way to find her. To question her on her kindness because to Im Nayeon there has to be a reason. She has (rightfully) forgotten what it feels like to have someone be kind to her. Stormy has made it very clear that Momo does in fact care if she leaves. Recalling the vending machine scene, Nayeon makes a comment about throwing her off a roof. While Momo doesn’t see it as an actual threat, she does see it as a way of Nayeon saying she doesn’t care about her. This leads to Momo trying to convince herself that she means nothing to her, leading to avoiding and yada yada.

It's so fascinating to realize that almost everything makes perfect sense when you piece it all together.

Momo’s resolve quickly dies when Nayeon needs help no matter the circumstance.

Nayeon’s calm collected appearance is shattered when she isn’t able to know for sure the person she cares about is okay. (This is something I didn’t realize would become just so important for next chapter)

We know that Nayeon has self-destructing habits, adding self-inflecting injuries becomes oddly the biggest alarm to me. Theres a real sense of panic when you realize that Nayeon will settle for inflicting pain on herself and destruction on anything she sees in order to get die down her overwhelming emotions. I felt that panic and it made me realized that somewhere along the way I started to truly care about her well-being. She’s so deeply flawed and we haven’t even gotten to her good traits yet.

If Momo’s way of showing that she doesn’t care by helping her get her phone back and saying “I’ll do anything” she has a funny way of showing it. First the jacket, then Momo coming to her rescue with her phone. Keep all this in mind.

Now we get to one of the, if not, THE biggest mystery of the story. Nayeon’s flashback/involuntary recurrent memory of drowning in water. Because of the severity of it, it is amazing that she is able to remind herself that it is not real. People who suffers from this form of trauma are often not able to focus on anything else because of survival instincts. I rationalized it as something that has occurred enough times that Nayeon has been able to adapt. It wasn’t a cheap way of creating drama down the road, and that’s why this is another part of the story that im so keen on learning about. It was excellently done.

It’s nice to get backstory before Nayeon became who she is, to remember that she wasn’t always so cold and off-putting. We are now starting to see that earlier sign of her when she offers Momo food. It’s such a simple request and yet, its monumental for her to do.

It wasn’t the greatest feeling in the world to know that Momo eats fast because she doesn’t get the privilege of eating fries very often. Hit home with me in a way that I don’t think I could speak bad about Momo even if I wanted to.

Remember when Nayeon showed Momo a bit of kindness (subtle kindness. Extremely) and then Momo wanted to walk her to the group session? Now it has become a reoccurrence. Exchanging kindness for wanting more of her company. Why? Because she just doesn’t know. It is a plausible answer. Except it does become obvious when Momo asks the golden question on if they should go back to how it use to be. Maybe her walking her home was her way of extending spending time with her one last time (for the moment).

When Nayeon says that’s what she wants, Momo accepts it for all its worth and walks away. Because Momo only wants what Nayeon wants at this point. She casted her feelings aside a long time ago.

If it isn’t clear by now, Nayeon does not have a strong grip on what she really believes and what she says. Especially when she stares at Momo nonstop and neglects her cheerleading duties only to be called out by Sana. Oh Sana. The gift that keeps on giving in this fic. By that I mean, the real reason jealous Nayeon is such a Thing.

We get to watch Momo dive into her bad habit as she runs herself exhausted because of a missed goal. Irrational thinking that leads to her thinking she messed up and needed to punish herself in some way. It’s not any better when Nayeon comes in to confuse her. An important piece of dialogue Nayeon says “In case you weren’t aware by now, I scarcely mean the things I say.” I didn’t take note of this until several read throughs later when I realized that this line is the reason Momo can’t trust anything that Nayeon says. Because Momo takes words at face value and not what they might be actually be intended as.

We now get to see Nayeon start to leave her friends in favor of Momo. Not only that, but Nayeon rids herself of her cigarette despite the fact that she was previously trying to light it as quickly as she could. It’s not just because of Momo’s off handed comment about how it doesn’t suit her (or that it makes her look like a tool) but because her alternative coping mechanism is her. Kind of a bad way to put it, but it’s the truth at least to Nayeon. From being scared of her ruining her fragile reputation to her needing Momo just to feel calm. Character development-ish.

I say ish because it goes out the window the next scene. Oh Nayeon, so careless with your words.

And then it comes back the next.

If there is something to point out about Stormy’s writing style- it’s that they thrive on repetition specifically what is important and why, so that you never forget it. Not only that, but also the push and pull game. It’s a tricky thing to write because it can become predictable and tiresome. However, if it is written correctly, it can be the most rewarding style of writing because it makes you understand the story and its characters so much more. So, this is another praise because here I am, still burning with questions on how it will end and how much I still have to look forward to.

I would also like to point out the similarities between Nayeon’s underwater flashbacks and Momo’s dream about Nayeon with everything in flames. I don’t know enough concrete evidence to back it up, just food for thought for the moment.

Nayeon has always been determined to ruin good things in her life. Taking pills just helps her do that job a little easier. Of course now, it just leads her to Momo and passing out when she gets to her. It’s hard to tell if it was for the best that Nayeon can’t recall Momo’s comment about how she isn’t waiting for anyone anymore and their discussion on how they aren’t normal.

Without a doubt the most impactful lines of this chapter are “Because she’s not you” “None of them are you.” Because it shows just how deeply Momo has fallen for Nayeon. There was enough build up for these words to hold impact and that’s what made them stand out.

I think all I can say about Jeongyeon is that there is something going on. Without context from chapter 2, it looks like Jeongyeon is just trying to look out for Momo. Granted it might just be because she thinks Momo will be magically back to normal with Nayeon gone. Putting a championship ahead of Momo’s feelings is another way of putting it. (Or maybe she doesn’t want to watch the same thing happen to her as it did Jeongyeon. Although we as the reader know that’s not the case, she doesn’t.)

Despite the repetition of: Nayeon overreacts, Momo defends, Nayeon says/does something stupid, Momo walks away- This scene of their last confrontation of the chapter still holds one of the most powerful moments of the chapter. This is the turning point of Nayeon discovering that Momo isn’t fine. That she is as messed up as she is because she doesn’t have the ability to consider herself worthy of Nayeon. A dangerous flaw because of the ticking time bomb that is Nayeon herself.

With Momo, words hold the highest power over physical touch. It’s easy to understand why Nayeon immediately turns to initiating physical proof of what can be viewed as real. However, Momo wants to hear Nayeon say what she is thinking. So when she breaks away, it makes complete sense. Because Nayeon wants to prove herself physically while Momo doesn’t view it as a good enough answer. Because physical affection can last a moment, but words stay forever when it comes to Momo. She isn’t stupid though. She realizes that Nayeon was trying to say that she wanted her. Of course she has trained herself to believe she was unlovable so well that she truly believes it now.

It’s this scene that both the main characters finally see the people that the readers have gotten to see. It is both heartbreaking and exciting. Nayeon finally realizes why Momo is who she is and its gut-wrenching to watch her come to terms with what that means.

If anything brought out Nayeon’s humane side, its her scene with her dad. It’s lighthearted, a word that hasn’t come to describe this fic yet because of the heavy tones. To watch Nayeon simply let go of her anger and spite and just talk with her dad was a moment that made the journey worth it. A writer can create a hero with flaws, a great writer can bring out the good in their character while not ignoring the bad.

The Im Nayeon that is running towards Momo in the freezing rain, is not the same Im Nayeon that got shit faced at a party. This is now a character that will do whatever is necessary to make sure her idiot is safe. The best part about this, is that it didn’t feel rushed. It all happened naturally and step-by-step.

I could write more on the shower and car scene, but that is for next part.

#namo #im serious you don't have to read this

[yuna-dan]

Ghost AU (or HautedSanders)

Ghosts AU because 

Im tagging @obviouslyelementary because she’s my Prince <3

I just, I have been thinking about this too much but I don’t know how to write it, so I’ll rather share it. (And also, because I don’t know how to draw xD)

Okay, so I have the idea that somehow all of them die and in different times, also even though they share the sanders surname, they are not related.

Prince Roman Sander, was an actual Prince and just a few weeks before his coronation one of his closest friends (Probably a duke or something) killed him, because he wanted the power. The duke managed to get to the power and pretend that Prince Roman actually run away with a young man (because you know, homosexuality back then was forbidden) instead of him being murder. He abandoned the body of the Prince in a far far place from the kingdom. (He was poisoned) (This happened around 1600)

Dr. Logan Sander, was a scientist. He worked near the outskirts of the city in supposed haunted house. He was investigating the existence of beings besides humans (aka ghosts, aliens, fairies). He worked with a close friend, who he was secretly in love but never say anything. Once the investigation attracted a lot of important people his named was suddenly really known. He was about to published the investigation when all of a sudden he disappeared, rumor has it he ran away because he wanted the knowledge for himself. (What really happened: His friend found out of him being gay and freak out so much, he pushed him of the stairs, and Logan broke his neck. He hid the body in the basement of the house) (This happened 1890 or something)

Mario Sanders, was a dedicated father (I’m going to make him with Latino roots because Im trash and because I wanted to do something with it). He married really young to a 19 girl because he got her pregnant. He loved his kids with all his heart. However, he was in an abusive relationship with his wife. She was really abusive and aggressive towards him until one day his friends and kids convinced him to divorce her and he did. He had been living happily in a house near the outskirts of the city, he worked really hard on the garden. He loved that house even if it had the rumors of being haunted. Just a few months after he won the custody of his kids, he was shot by his ex-wife inside his house. The kids started living with their aunt because obviously, they hated their mom. He was buried in the garden of the house. Every November 2, the kids go to that house and make him a little altar for the day of death (See, that’s why I make him Latino). (This happened around 1990 or something)

Alexander Sanders, was a bullied kid, because he was gay. He had depression issues and anxiety. He told his parents a lot of times he was bullied but because he was a gay they didn’t do anything (pretty much his parents were assholes and also abusive). One day the bullying got too much, like really intense, so he ran away to the outskirts of the city and found a house. He got in there and that became suddenly his safe place. He went there almost every day, because school was horrible and house was worse. One day, when his dad decided to beat him up and it school he found that his locker, once again, had the word “FAG” written again, he was fed up. He went directly to that house and killed himself. (He hung). He was found two weeks later by policemen and he was buried in the house. (This happened in 2010-15)

Thomas Sanders, is just a youtuber and medium. Once he decided to made a special video for Halloween and noticed the four ghosts living there, and they became friends. He goes there and share music with Alexander and show him gay parades and how his school was shut down or stuff. He shows Logan new technology and bonds also over pride parades, he keeps him up with aware of news. He showed Mario photos of his kids and cooked together. He shows Roman just how beautiful his kingdom turned out and how he’s I some history books. They just bond a lot.

Random stuff.

• Roman knows now how to speak normal English, but until Mario appears he spoke in ancient English. • Logan loves to read, but now he can hold books so Mario told him stories. (Thomas read to all of them). • All of the Day of Dead, they cuddle with Mario because he just missed his kids so much and wished he could hug them again. (I broke my own heart) • Alex is the only one who likes being dead, he used to fight a lot with Roman for that until one day Mario, as a good dad, make them talk. • There’s a legend in Mexico that said that the first of November, ghosts can materialize. Roman loves videogames, so Thomas go that day and let him played in his PSP and he gives Alex his phone. He brings books for Logan and flowers and photos to Mario. • They all can play instruments, and apparently, they can touch them. • Roman loves to watched TV and things that were created all the time. • Never called Alex Alexander, unless you want the rage of a teen ghost towards you. (Alexander is the name of his father, and as you can imagine, he hates his father) • Alex was 18 when he killed himself. Mario and Logan were 25 and Roman 20. • I can picture Mario and Logan developing feelings for each other and that would be amazing! A ghost discovering his own sexuality after years of being dead. • When Alex first notice he’s a ghost he was so freaked out, that he almost destroyed the house. • In the anniversary of Roman’s dead, Logan help him. He tells Roman historical facts and about how horrible was the dead of the Duke that ended up as a king. • In the anniversary of Logan’s dead, Alex help him. He talks about how better is for the LGBTQI+ community lately and how he’s actually a well-known scientist. • In the anniversary of Mario’s dead, all of the help him. They all agree he’s the one that probably suffered the most, so they spend all they cuddle in the floor and let him talks about his kids and they even watched TV together. • In the anniversary of Alex’s dead, Mario helps him. He just assured him no one else would be bullied and that, even if he had to killed himself, he’s love in that house. • No, but imagine one day while watching tv (because they can’t do a lot) a Disney movie popped out and Roman is so so so in love. • Alex telling Roman about Disney movies.

So, yeah that’s my AU. *runs away because im shy* 

If you want to do something about this, that i doubt it but whatever, go ahead! But tag me pls!! 

#yuna writes #headcanon #GhostAU #Sander sides #thomas sanders #Logic sanders #logan sanders #anxiety sanders #Morality sanders #Prince Sanders #roman sanders #Suicide #dead #Abusive #Bullying #Haunted house #homophobia #logicality #pta sanders #pta dads #prinxiety #probably #i'm not sure yet #haunted sanders

[sporadicwerewolffart-blog]

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