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stllite · 1 year

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3am •°ˎˊ˗

chishiya shuntaro x gn!reader

word count 2.6k

summary 3am brings out the most vulnerable and real version of ourselves. on this particular night, you and chishiya unravel those parts of each other.

warnings mentions of parental issues, angsty, non borderland au

authors note had this idea after listening to my 3am playlist. i cant get chishiya/nijiro out of my mind fr. hope you guys enjoy this fic!

most of the world was asleep. the only light shining outside was from the moon, the stars, and some streets. slight, but there nevertheless.

in your case however, your desk and laptop screen also shining light. an unnatural and annoying light that was beginning to give you a headache.

it was about two-fifty in the morning — close to three. you and chishiya, who you’d consider a good friend in uni, were studying for your upcoming mid-term since the both of you were pre-med students.

it’s safe to say, you were stressed out. the topic you’d been learning looking like a completely different language the more you looked and attempted to learn it.

you huffed frustratingly, beginning to write in your notebook harshly and quickly. chishiya turned his attention from the textbook in front of him to you as you were making a lot of noises suggesting your stress.

“everything alright?”

at this point, chishiya was already prepared and confident for the exam. he stood by you however, because it seemed like you needed the company.

and the help.

you continued your harsh writing. “yeah, I’m fine.”

he shrugged, continuing back to his book and left you to your studying. or stabbing of your poor notebook.

your thoughts were everywhere else except where they really needed to be, going a million hours at once. the stress of this exam, intrusive thoughts of just quitting starting to enter your brain, and a random song in the background, banging in your head at once. you were tired.

maybe this is why i’m not processing all this information, you thought.

at that point, you about had it.

you turned off your desk light while standing up from your chair suddenly and made your way out of your room, chishiya’s eyebrows raising at your actions. he sighed, then followed you out.

when he made it to where you were, he saw you leaning against your kitchen counter with your head down in front of your coffee machine. the sound of it in the midst of pouring your third cup for the night, echoing throughout the silent apartment walls.

he stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do. hell, he didn’t know how to comfort anyone. weirdly, he wanted to comfort you.

you were always so bubbly — shy and introverted but outgoing when he got to know you. you cared a lot. probably too much for chishiya’s liking. you two were polar opposites but he didn’t mind. maybe, the universe put you two together for this sole reason.

“y/n?”

you picked up your head and stood up regularly, turning your body towards him. you didn’t say anything. you just looked at him blankly.

“too much coffee isn’t good for you.” he crossed his arms, leaning against the wall behind him and continued. “you should know that, you’re a med student.”

it sounded much harsher than what he had originally in his mind. but that was chishiya’s way of showing that he…cared?

you huffed. “god, chishiya. i don’t need your input. i just need to pass this goddamn exam and coffee is going to help. you’re already going to pass so i don’t know why you care.”

he just stared at you as you turned back around and poured your coffee into your hello kitty mug, reminding him of the time you FaceTimed him when you got the mug. you were so excited and happy over something that seemed so silly.

but that’s just how you were. though, he always felt like there was a part of you that he had not seen just yet. he read people scarily well and…he would know.

you breezed passed him and back into your room, cranking your music up. the aroma of your scent lingering until he followed you back in.

you were sitting on your window sill filled with all your plushies and other pillows with your textbook on your lap, flipping through the pages and sipping your coffee.

he sat across from you and looked out the view from your window. you didn’t look up from your book once.

one thing he loved about coming over to yours was the view you had. the beautiful sight of the city that the moonlight was shining upon. your music in the background making the view ethereal. it was peaceful. like a pause from the chaotic world.

his thoughts were interrupted by you flipping the page of your textbook harshly. taking yet another sip of your coffee while your eyes scanned the information.

he turned to you and kept his gaze there. despite the frustration written all over your face, you were shining against the moonlight. your soft features illuminating against it, like the moon was focusing on only you in that moment.

examining your face more, he saw tears starting to pool up in your eyes. the facade you were trying so hard to put up, finally fading away.

he paused. his attempt on comforting you earlier had failed miserably. now you were crying?

he shifted in his seat and looked back out the window, pretending not to notice. he felt uncomfortable. he didn’t know what to do. he was used to keeping his emotions inside at all times. he assumed the same for you. but now, it seems those bottled up emotions were pouring out of you and even though you didn’t want it, you let it.

he heard you sniffle, his eyes returning back to your face. you quickly wiped your tears and closed your textbook, throwing it on the ground next to you whilst placing your coffee gently atop of it.

you pulled your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around them, looking out the window to the view. tears were still spilling out and now you weren’t wiping them away. you were letting your tears fall into the night. but despite your built up emotions spilling out, your face remained still and blank. your tears just grazing on top of it.

“i have a feeling this is more then the mid-term that’s on your mind,” chishiya said, breaking the silence.

you didn’t say anything for a moment, your eyes still on the view of the quiet night. you let his words sit with you because he was right. and you hated how well he could read people — especially you.

you let out a breath before speaking. “it’s not like you would care.”

you knew chishiya wasn’t the type of person to express his feelings. so why would he listen to you express yours? regardless, he surprised you with his next choice of words. “try me.”

those words had you finally looking away from the view and to him, his gaze looking at you intently. inviting you, daring you to give him a chance.

“it’s a lot,” you started, gaze looking back out the window. you let out a soft chuckle. “i’m a mess.”

you felt him scoot closer to you, his eyes burning through you to get something, anything out of you. you felt that this was his way of letting you know that he was here to listen — something you weren’t used to.

finally, you let the words fall out of your mouth.

“i don’t want to be a fucking doctor.”

the words that were engraved in your brain since the minute you started uni was finally out into the night. for only you and chishiya to hear. and now, you felt somewhat free.

you looked back at him, his eyebrows having a slight furrow to them, expressing to continue your thought. “this is not my dream. to be honest, i’m really doing this for my mother.” you spoke your next sentence quieter, practically whispering. “because she wasn’t able to because of me.”

“what do you mean?”

you bit the inside of your cheek before continuing. “she was my age when she met my dad, so close to getting into her dream university because she took a gap year.”

he scanned your face, tears still spilling but your face still remaining blank.

“she was in love with him. and well, long story short, she got pregnant with me and couldn’t follow her dreams of becoming a doctor. so that’s why i’m doing what i’m doing. but it’s not what i want.”

he pursed his lips. “you shouldn’t let her be the reason to not enjoy your life.”

“but i love her. she’s been through hell for me. and i feel like it’s my fault she never got to follow her dream.”

“it’s not though.”

“but it’s the least i could do.”

he took his eyes off of you, returning his eyes to the window. he remained quiet for a moment which only built your nerves more. maybe, you shouldn’t have said anything? maybe you should of just kept on pretending. interrupting your thoughts, he spoke. “can i tell you something?”

you hummed in response, starting to feel more at ease.

“i don’t want to be a doctor either.”

chishiya didn’t know why he decided to tell you something that was so vulnerable to him. he spent years trying to dig it so deep in his brain that he would eventually forget it. but after admitting those words aloud, he realized he was simply putting up a facade. just like you.

“for similar reasons as you. except, my father never really was there for me nor showed he cared,” he shrugged.

he guessed that telling you this unexpectedly was because he felt you. and weirdly, he felt bad for you. you cared so much that you’re doing something that doesn’t make you happy. you didn’t deserve that.

“wow,” you replied. “i didn’t know that. i’m sorry.”

he looked at you, seeing your blank expression turn into concern. you really did care a lot about others. he was surprisingly glad he was one of them. at the same time however, he didn’t deserve someone like you to care for someone like him. “don’t be. i’m fine.”

his blunt expression grew more concern for you. you weren’t sure how he would respond if you kept prodding. but you did so nevertheless. “are you sure?”

he sighed. he wasn’t sure how to answer this. no one had ever asked. “i’m doing what i can.”

you gave him a slight smile. “i think we all are. sometimes, that’s the best we could do.”

he smirked back, looking at the view once more causing you to do the same. no matter what, you two always returned your eyes to it. you both never seemed to get tired of the sight.

“what is your dream?” he asked.

you smiled, despite all the emotions you were truly feeling. no one had ever asked you that before. no one ever cared to ask. “i want to be a writer.”

“really?”

“yeah. it’s like my escape,” you leaned a bit closer to the window before continuing. “no one has ever really listened to me or know the real me. they never really cared to. but writing — it’s a way i get to express the real me. and the ideas in my head.”

he looked over at you once more. your eyes were glistening with passion. something he never saw from you. it made him smile a bit. he silently hoped that you would be able to follow your dream. it seemed like something you truly adored.

“what about you?” you asked, meeting his gaze.

he snickered. “never really thought about that.”

you simply nodded.

“maybe travel the world. there’s so many places i haven’t seen yet. i would like to see all of them if i could.”

you gasped suddenly, causing chishiya to jump from your abrupt action. “i have an idea!”

he raised his eyebrows.

“when we graduate, we should take a trip! we could go anywhere you’d like.”

“with what money?”

“we’ll save up. if not, we’ll wing it.”

he chuckled at your comment. smirking, he nodded an agreement. “sounds like a plan.”

you smiled back at him. “any particular place you have in mind?”

he thought for a moment before answering. “Switzerland. i don’t know, that place looks unreal from what i’ve seen in photos. it’s definitely on my bucket list.”

“then Switzerland is where we’ll go.”

he smiled at you. a genuine smile. it was small. so small that any other person wouldn’t have realized it. but you — you noticed.

“you know,” you started, turning your attention back to the night. “nighttime has always been my favorite.”

he tilted his head, urging for you to carry on.

“not only is the world quiet from all the chaos, but you see people’s authentic selves. during the day, you put up this mask so people don’t see the real you. cause you’re scared that if they see the real you, they’ll run off. and the world is so loud that sometimes you wish you could just take a pause from all of it. nighttime, is like that pause. with the world quiet and the moonlight shining on the world lightly, its peaceful and inviting. that’s when people take off that mask of theirs and are comfortable with their vulnerable and real selves. and whoever you’re with in that moment to share your vulnerability with, its true and authentic. not something you put up to protect yourself.”

after a moment, you looked over at him, blood rushing to your cheeks. you said a lot and felt embarrassed. but he just looked at you keenly.

“i can see you as a writer.”

you furrowed your brows, confused at his response.

“your words are beautiful.”

your eyes widened, a slight sparkle to them. his words hit you hard. the kind of hit that felt like every negative emotion in you had disappeared. the kind that made your authentic self comfortable with him. the kind that felt like it was only you two in the world.

he simply just looked away. he honestly didn’t know what to say nor do next. but he was content. cause his words were truthful. you were a beautiful person all around. and he wanted to be sure that you knew that. even though the feelings he was feeling were foreign and uncomfortable, your words were right. the nighttime and you were making the chaos in his mind bearable.

you both sat in comfortable silence with the soft music in the background. the moon seemed like it had shined brighter, now illuminating and focusing on the both of you. making you two feel safe with each other.

after the blissful moment, you glanced at the clock on your nightstand. three-thirty.

chishiya followed your eyes and turned to also see the time.

“shit,” he muttered. “i better get going.”

“yeah,” you replied, a little saddened that he was leaving.

he got up from your window sill and began to gather his things. you just watched, bringing your knees closer to you as you rested your head against them.

once he was done, he threw his backpack over his shoulder and walked towards your door. but before he opened it, he paused and looked at you. really looked at you.

“i know i don’t say this enough or show it but, i really do care for you.”

you lifted your head up, mouth slightly agape at his words. he…cared for you? he cared for you.

you smiled at his words while he slightly grinned back.

“see you tomorrow, y/n/n.”

and then, he walked out the door into the peaceful night. leaving you breathless, filled with old and new emotions but most importantly, leaving you free.

he saw the real you. he listened to you. and he cares about you.

and while you don’t know where this is going or where it will go, you do know you care for him too. more than you ever had for anyone.

#chishiya shuntaro #chishiya fic #chishiya imagine #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya angst #chishiya fluff #aib chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya x y/n #chishiya x reader #chishiya x gn reader #chishiya x you #aib fanfic #aib x you #alice in boderland x reader #aib #nijiro murakami #nijiro days #alice in borderland

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acciopietro · 1 year

Text

doctor pt. 3

pairing: namor x fem! reader

summary: you take an opportunity despite the repercussions. namor’s determination to protect his people blinds him.

part one part two part four

word count: 6,939

tw: lots and lots of death. forced suicide (because of the talokanil sirens). the typically stuff. lots of angsty and sadness

a/n: i was listening to happiness is a butterfly while writing so this took a turn for sure... it took a hot minute but i hope you enjoy nonetheless!! i’m nervous ab this so pls let me know your honest opinions...it kind of took a turn

part one part two

IT REALLY ONLY TOOK ONE email to make your heart drop. It was a phone call and a series of texts, too, but it was the email that did it for you. Arial, Size 12 font, formal greeting, body paragraph, half-hearted thank you, polite goodbye. Signed Doctor Reynolds, Ph.D., with the name of your team and company. Message subject: Wakanda.

You read it with vigilant eyes, still hands resting on the metal of your laptop, blue light from the screen casting a cool glow onto your tired skin. The music in your earbuds continued to play, but the sound of The Weeknd wasn’t helping calm the way your heart’s steady beat began to pick up. The words on the email flashed out at you as if they were bolded: Wakanda, harvesting, vibranium, testing, trip. Trip?

“Hi, Doctor Reynolds,” you spoke casually into your telephone, despite your palms sweating around the handle of it. Twisting the coiled cord of it with your index finger, you said, “Yeah, I just got the email. I just had some questions...”

Long story short, a team of marine scientists had ventured into the pacific, delving into the deep seas in search of the vibranium you had found a little over a year ago. You had abandoned that research per Namor’s (tacit) request (more like demand), however, you had known that it was bound to be looked at at some point. The issue was that ships were now apparently being hijacked, their tracking machines being destroyed under water as well as large groups of scientists somehow falling off ship and into the waters to their tragic death. No one knew why.

Reynolds believed Wakanda had something to do with it. He believed that since they were well known for being the sole producers and protectors of all the Earth’s vibranium, he was under the impression that they were trying to stop the United States scientists from harvesting it. Which, you had thought to yourself, would be plausible considering the United States was notorious for taking things that weren’t necessarily theirs.

“Why are we getting involved?” you asked Reynold, gripping your scalp anxiously as you listened to Reynolds explain the situation. “It’s not like if we take a boat out there, we, somehow, will miraculously end up okay. If boats are being hijacked, then... oh, I don’t know...”

Reynold went on and on.

“Wait... you mean to tell me that you already booked it?” you shrilled. “Please excuse me if I’m stepping out of line here, but it’s very likely that our boat will just get hijacked, too. And besides, why do we care so much about vibranium, again? It doesn’t harm any marine life or ecosystems...”

Reynolds spewed a bunch of nonsensical answers, beating around the bush and never quite landing on the reason you know was true: getting money and getting power. Often the root of many of Reynolds’s aspirations.

“You’re more than welcome to deny the job,” Reynold says. “But I’ve decided that I want you on that boat. You’re a useful member of this team. Whether you like it or not, this could be very big.”

You clenched your jaw. “I’ll think about it.”

“You’ve got a week.”

You had only been home from Yucatán for one month. You had a wonderful four months of being with your sister and her family in the days and sneaking off with your man from the sea at night. You couldn’t have gotten closer to Namor; well, unless he took off his shorts and... well, you wouldn’t let him do it, anyways. He had asked. A few times. More than a few times. But for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. For starters, you weren’t on the pill and you were sure there wasn’t contraception under the sea (you asked if he had a condom one time, and he asked you what language that word was in. For someone who is immortal, he sure didn’t know a lot).

You felt like sleeping with him for real for real would make things realer. It made him more of a commitment, gave him more power. And you told yourself you wouldn’t let it happen unless you were absolutely sure that he deserved it. It was really hard to say no sometimes, though. He sure knew how to persuade you.

Accepting the job and getting on the damn boat would for sure cause an issue if Namor found out. You didn’t want to search for vibranium, especially knowing the damage it would do to Wakanda if the United States got access to such a resource, and to Talokan if the States got knowledge of their existence. But... Reynolds personally invited you, and it could do wonders for your career if it went well.

“I don’t see why not,” your sister said when you told her of your predicament the next day. “I mean, I understand the hesitation, especially if boats are being hijacked. But who knows, maybe they’ll get an Avenger and put them on board with you to keep you safe. Hopefully it’s Captain America.”

“As much as I’d love to have Sam Wilson on a boat with me for two weeks, I’m still not sure,” you groaned, plopping down onto your couch and opening up your laptop, the blue light hitting your face as you held your phone against your ear with your shoulder. Scrolling through the news, you said, “It just feels like a thing just for money. And, like, yeah, it is, but I... wait a second...”

You stopped scrolling, eyes casting across the headline of the latest CNN article, your lips falling apart. Wakanda’s King T’Challah dead at 41.

“Oh my gosh,” you breathed. Your sister asked you what it was on the other side of the phone, and you hastily forwarded the article to hear. She cursed, and both of you fell silent as you read. “Jesus Christ. I can’t go on that boat.”

---

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU won’t get on the boat?” asked Reynolds the followed week when you went into office. You shook your head, clenching your jaw.

“King T’Challah just died,” you told him matter-of-factly. “And if there really is more vibranium out there, and the States gets access to it, that’ll do a lot of damage to Wakanda.”

“We are not giving the States access to it,” Reynolds furrowed his brow, the hair of his grey mustache fluttering as he spoke. “We’re just figuring out how much of its in the water. It’s not our job to start harvesting it, that’s up to Archeology.”

“It doesn’t matter who does what,” you said feverishly. “We’re still helping do something that will eventually lead to bad things for Wakanda. And I don’t feel comfortable doing that, especially after their king just passed away.”

Reynolds narrowed his eyes at you, and said nothing before circling around to his desk and clicking the mouse of his computer. You blinked, watching him search around for something with a stern face. You waited a minute for him to speak, and when he didn’t, you cleared your throat.

“Sir..?”

“Look, L/N,” Reynolds looked at you from over his bifocals. “I understand where you stand on these more... well, political aspects of the job. But this is a big opportunity I’m offering you. If you decline, fine, but I’ll know that you’re not up to the task. I’ll give the job to Quade.”

You clenched your jaw, feeling something bubble in your stomach. Ugh, you thought. Quade. He was the worst. You knew it was wrong to take this job. Morally, it was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

“Okay,” you sighed defeatedly. “I’ll... I’ll do it.”

“Good,” Reynolds gave you a nod and stopped typing. He pressed the delete button and held it down. “I can get rid of this email to Quade then. We leave Friday. Back your bags and tell your family you love ‘em.”

---

UNDER THE THRASHING WAVES OF the Gulf of Mexico sat a king on his throne, his forearms resting on his strong, tensed thighs as he read a piece of torn paper. He had to put the paper under pieces of surface-dweller plastic so the pages didn’t fall apart under the water, but even still, the ink had smeared a bit. Nonetheless, Namor sat, his jaw clenched, and he read.

Namor, the letter read.

Hopefully this letter got to you all right-- my niece isn’t always too reliable. I’m writing to you in an attempt to explain myself so you don’t find out from other sources. Some people from my team will be sailing out into the Gulf with another team that’s mining for vibranium. I wanted to deny the job, but I need to take whatever opportunities they throw my way if I want to keep my head above water. I’m going to do my best to protect you and your people, but there’s only so much I can do. I’m sorry. Really, I am. If there’s anything I can do that you can think of (without totally tarnishing my reputation and/or getting fired), find a way to let me know, and I’ll do it. Again, I’m really sorry. I hope you can forgive me. Hopefully I’ll see you soon.

Sincerely Apologetically Love

From, Y/N

Namor gripped the paper tight between his calloused, jewelry covered hands. Lifting his head, he glanced up at his people, the civilization they had built together, the vibranium everyone wore. He glanced at the chest plate he wore, the cuffs around his arms, at the vibranium he wore. It was everything.

He clenched his jaw, bowing his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. He laid the paper down on his lap, squeezing his eyes shut to think.

“Namora!” he called out hastily, and after a little over a minute, the woman emerged into the space and walked up to him, standing before his throne. She knelt, opening up her palms to him in a greeting before standing up. “K'abéet in actualizaciones yóok'ol le láak' rastreador. Yaan in biin ta wéetel (I need updates on the next tracker. I’ll be going with you).”

---

THE DRIVE TO THE PORT was peaceful, palm trees swaying in the breeze and reminding you that, although it wasn’t Mexico, you were appreciative for the beauty and pleasantries of the place you lived in. Florida, with all of its ups and downs-- and you meant all of them-- was nice. The giant boat was astonishing once your Uber pulled up. People were hustling and bustling about the port, and you simply stared up at the giant ship, clutching the strap of your bag and admiring its beauty.

“Ah, Doctor L/N, good to see you. All packed?” asked Doctor Mishra, one of the men of the group who you actually liked to be around. You were thankful he was on the trip. “Boat’s giant, no?”

“Oh, yeah,” you whistled. “Y’know, I’ve never been on a boat like this.”

“I’ve been on a couple of cruises,” Doctor Mishra told you. “Wonderful vacations. However, we will not be waited on on this boat.”

“Fine with me,” you shrugged. “Do we just... go inside, or what?”

“Not sure,” he said. Smiling, he heaved his duffel bag over his shoulder and said, “Let’s find out!

Everything went smoothly for the first week and three days. All the men had to share rooms with at least one other person, and you were lucky enough that everyone agreed that you should have the single room. Your research seemed to be going fairly, however, you never caught a glimpse of the research of the others aside from Doctor Mishra, who you were doing a lot of your work with these days.

One evening, after a nice warm shower, you ventured out onto the deck of the ship, letting the ocean breeze cool your warm cheeks. You caught a glimpse, however, of Dr. Reynolds and Bernstein exchanging words on the deck, standing quite close and speaking under their breaths. You crept closer around the corner, trying to eavesdrop.

“We found it around thirty-five miles from the west tip of Cuba, so we’re thinking if we move closer towards Cancún and Yucatán and all that, we’ll find more,” Bernstein said quietly but firmly. Reynolds nodded his head in understanding.

“But what of the machines?” he asked. “The last one was destroyed, you said, signal lost?”

“Something’s hungry down there,” Bernstein shrugged. “Or however far down the vibranium is, it’s too deep for our computers. We need higher tech to harvest it.”

Your stomach turned. The team wasn’t supposed to be thinking about harvesting vibranium. Reynolds had told you that was up to Archaeology. You gulped and kept listening, fighting the urge to jump out and ask a million questions.

"I’m in contact with some people up north who’ve got new stuff that could work,” Reynolds scratched his white beard pensively. “They’ve had limited success too, but it could be helpful.”

“Us getting this vibranium could change the game,” Bernstein said emphatically. “I mean, can you imagine if the government realized we had this stuff? They’d pay us a lot of money to take it off our hands.”

“This is more than just money, Bernstein,” Reynolds said lowly. “If Wakanda found out that the States got hold of the one thing they’ve got on us? We’re back on top.”

“Holy shit,” Bernstein ran a hand through his oily blonde hair and grinned. “I went into the right profession, that’s for damn sure!”

“Yes, well, let’s just see what the other men have gathered in the past week and compare,” Reynolds told him. “Maybe there’s something right under our noses that we haven’t noticed.”

You clenched your jaw and stepped out from behind the corner. You squeezed a fist in one hand to prevent yourself from lashing out, and it wasn’t until you cleared your throat that the two men noticed you.

“Oh, L/N!” Reynolds gave a gasp of surprise and then a chuckle. “Wasn’t expecting you to be out so late. Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“I don’t have a bedtime, sir, I’m a grown woman,” you said firmly. “But you’ve got about twenty years on me, so I’m confused as to why you’re not in bed either.”

Bernstein and Reynolds shared a glance.

“I’m also confused about all this I’m hearing about harvesting vibranium,” you said, not saying anything for a heartbeat to give them room to defend themselves. “I didn’t think that was what we were doing here. I also thought that as a team we were supposed to be, I don’t know, working together?”

“Look, L/N, you’ve got your own research, and so do we. We chose not to include you because you, for some reason, seemed very against delving deeper into this vibranium business,” Reynolds explained in a slow and calm voice as if he were speaking to a child. “This could be very lucrative for us and helpful for American forces.”

“You’re hiding shit from everyone,” you spat.

“No, I’m not,” Reynolds sneered. “Just from you.”

As if someone had pressed a button, all of a sudden Reynolds and Bernstein stood upright, their faces blank, eyes fogged over. You furrowed your brow and snapped in front of the former's face. A song began to echo the ship, as if someone was playing it on the loudspeakers, and you glanced around as if to see if someone else noticed it.

You glanced up to the top deck, where a man stood next to a large scope. He was walking very uniformly, his face blank as well, and you watched as he continued to walk and walk and walk until--

You screamed bloody murder. The man walked until he reached the railing, where he hopped over it and simply threw himself off the ledge and into the depths of the ocean below. Breathing heavily, you whipped yourself around and watched as Reynolds, mesmerized by the song, began to walk towards the railing, Bernstein at his heels.

“No!” you cried, grabbing ahold of Reynolds’s arm to hold him back; he thrashed himself out of your grasp and climbed over the railing. You grappled at the back of his shirt, trying to tug him back, but he too, like a rag doll, plummeted into the crashing waves below. Bernstein was looming closer to the railing, and you wrapped your arms around his torso to hold him back.

You kept seeing men out of the corner of your eyes walk over the edge and throw themselves into the sea. You hadn’t realized it, but tears were pricking out of the corners of your eyes as you mustered up all your strength to try and hold Bernstein back from the edge.

“Snap-- out-- of-- it!” you cried, and brought one of your hands to slap him clean across the face. To no avail. Balling up a fist, you let go of him and stood between him and the railing; you wound up your arm and socked him clean across the face, to which he toppled onto his back. Blood was now seeping from his nose, but at least he wasn’t walking to his death.

You squinted out into the sea, to try and figure out the source of the sound, but all you saw was the water and the midnight blue horizon. A groan from behind you alerted your attention; you dropped to your knees, shaking Bernstein awake.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you cried. He wiped his nose, the blood staining the sleeve of his white shirt.

“You fuckin’ punched me!” Bernstein muffled, sitting upright and punching you straight across the face, hard enough for you to topple back onto the deck. He got to his feet, and as if nothing had happened, his face became blank again. You groaned, sitting upright and clutching your bleeding nose as he walked towards the railing again.

“No, no-- stop!” you called out, getting to your feet, but it was too late; Bernstein climbed over the railing and fell face first into the ocean. You saw the tail of a dolphin in the distance as his body disappeared, and you squeezed your eyes shut, covering your face with your hands, blood from your nose seeping through your fingers. “Jesus christ, what the fuck? What the actual fuck? What the fuck is happening?”

SPLASH! You drew your hands away from your face, and to your horror, saw the fins of sharks circling around the boat, the occasional tale of a dolphin, or the splashes of other marine life you couldn’t identify from so far away. The beating of your heart was so fast that at this rate you were sure you could die of a heart attack. Unable to take your eyes away from the sea of troubles below you, you were terrified to see the body of a whale rise close enough to the surface for you to see, and what shocked you the most was the outline of a person riding on its back. Your jaw dropped.

Without a second thought, you sprinted towards the hatch that led to the inside of the ship. You ran at top speed across the creaky wooden floor until you reached your room, grabbing your bag that held your journal, your phone, your laptop, and your camera. A knock at your door made you jump and almost yelp.

“It’s just me,” it was Doctor Mishra, his hair disheveled and his eyes wild. He had on a large pair of earmuffs. “Are you okay? Your nose is bleeding!”

“No!” you practically screeched. “I just fucking watched the entire crew kill themselves!”

“Everyone?”

“Well, I don’t know about everyone,” you stammered, shoving anything and everything important to you into your bag. You grabbed the printed map of the gulf, with annotations and drawings and other kinds of markings, and rolled it quickly before shoving it into your bag. Picking up your taser, you blinked at it before shoving it into your bag, too. “Bernstein and Reynolds are gone, same with the rest of the crew on the deck, and the man from the mast, and the--”

“Slow down,” Mishra said to you, squatting down next to you and handing you his handkerchief for your nose. “There’s almost no signal, and the only ways we can send out an S.O.S. are either from the red flare device on the mast, or by the radio in the control room.”

“Okay,” you breathed, putting the straps of your bag over your shoulders and tightening it so it wouldn’t fall off, wiping your nose despite it continuing to bleed. “But... what if we get all weird too and try and walk off?”

“Here,” Mishra fumbled with something in his pocket: wired earbuds. “Plug them into your phone and blast some music. Should do the trick. My earmuffs worked pretty well.”

You grabbed the earbuds from him, untangling them before plugging them into your ears. Grabbing your phone, you shuffled a playlist and turned up the volume. Mishra beckoned you to follow him out the door, to which you complied, Tyler, the Creator’s “ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?” blaring from the earbuds. Not the time, you thought, but you couldn’t afford to stand there a pick a good song for the occasion.

“I’ll head up to the mast,” you offered. “The control room is safer for you since it’s pretty contained.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “The mast is insanely high, you could get hurt.”

You clenched your jaw. “It’s fine. I’ll send out the flares. Good luck, okay?”

“Take care of yourself,” Mishra told you firmly. “Meet back on the deck in ten minutes or so.”

You nodded and turned, sprinting back up onto the deck and opening the hatch. There were people on the deck, with beautiful feathered headdresses and jaded armor. You stared at them for a moment, but before they could see you, you ran behind one of the poles, trying to focus on getting up to the mast. The ladder was on the other side of the deck, leading you to inch your way around the center portion until you could find the ladder with your eyes.

There were tons of the soldiers across the deck, running around, whispering to one another. They all held massive, sharp spears, the jade and gold glinting under the pale moonlight. It reminded you of Namor, you thought, until you realized it was possible they were his people. As much as you trusted him, you didn’t trust the spears; you weren’t about to risk your life, and even Doctor Mishra’s life, just to reunite with the man from the sea.

You bolted towards the ladder, grabbing the bars and climbing up it with no hesitation. Someone from below shouted something. You didn’t look down, moving at a speed you were sure you had never moved at before, until you reached the top level where the light machine and the red flare device were located. You practically threw yourself onto the bright red button, pressing it over and over again so tens of red flares shot up into the night sky.

Your earbuds were playing Childish Gambino, now, and despite it being one of your favorite songs of all time, you couldn’t find it in you to enjoy it. You kept pressing the button, red flare after red flare firing into the sky. People were shouting from below you, in a language you couldn’t decipher, especially with “Me and Your Mama” blasting into your ears.

You took a brief moment to glance at the deck, peering over the railing. Someone was climbing up the mast, the gold of their armor glinting under the light of the mast. You panicked, unzipped your bag and grabbed your taser. You ran to the other side of the table-like desk in the center of the platform and crouched behind it.

Feet adorned in golden-plated sandals planted onto the platform. You swallowed your breath, holding out your taser for when they rounded the desk. You cursed your earbuds; you were sure they could hear the Childish Gambino blasting from them. When they rounded the corner, you shot up and stuck out the taster onto their stomach, to which they convulsed and stumbled backwards. You pressed the red button a handful more times, but before you could act again, you felt a hand grab you by the neck and heard the cling of a blade being unsheathed.

“Suelta a arma (Drop your weapon),” the person holding you said firmly, to which you shakily dropped your taster. It clattered onto the wooden platform. The soldier let you go, your back towards the ladder, and with the shear pointed right at you, commanded, “Péeksik (Move).”

You couldn’t understand them, but you had enough context clues to understand what the soldier wanted. You caught a long enough glimpse at them to see a strange mask over their mouth and nose, water splashing around inside of it. You wanted to look for longer, but they nudged you with the butt of their spear, so without protest, you climbed down the ladder.

By the time you reached the floor of the deck, you barely had a moment of freedom before the soldier grabbed you again, holding you by the shoulders with their spear at your neck. They spoke to another soldier, the blade of the spear dangerously close to your skin.

One of the soldiers wore a tall, orange-feathered headdress, with the same feathers donned around the necklace she wore that looked like it was made out of something woven. The soldier holding you shoved you forward, hard enough that you stumbled over your feet and almost fell flat on your face. As soon as you were released, the other soldiers circled you, spears pointed.

“Vacíe u póoj (Empty your bag),” she commanded. You blinked, not understand. At your silence, one of the soldiers poked your bag with their spear, nudging it off. You reluctantly shook it off of your shoulders, letting it fall onto the deck. “Je'e le! (Open it!)”

Another soldier poked it with your spear before another nudged you forwards. Lowering to your knees, you grabbed the back and opened the zipper pocket so the contents of your bag was visible. One of the soldiers snatched it from you, turning it upside down and shaking it so everything fell out; your map tumbled to the ground, along with your computer, camera, and journal. Cringing at the sound of your computer and camera dropping onto the deck, you made a move to stand, but the feeling of a spear pressed against the back of your neck kept you down.

The woman in the headdress, who you assumed was in charge, bent down and picked up the map, unrolling it. She ran her finger where you had outlined the hypoxic zone in red pen, the notes near the southern border of the United States, as well as the circle around your sister’s town in Yucatán.

“Talokan ma' u dibujado (Talokan is not drawn),” she said. In broken English, she read the notes and pronounced. “Hi-gh con-cen-tra-ti-on.”

You gulped, watching them interact with one another. The one behind you holding the spear to your neck said, “Ba'ax le kíins wa ma'? (Do we kill her, or not?)”

“Le ajawo' tu ya'alaj ma' u testigos (The king said no witnesses),” another soldier proclaimed. “Kíisa (Kill her).”

“Pa'atik! (Wait!)” one exclaimed, leaning down and grabbing your wrist. “Ilawil u x-oron (Look at her wrist).”

“Lelo' u Talokan (That is from Talokan),” another said, to which gasps and murmurs spun around the circle of soldiers. You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment; the word Talokan was circling your brain. Namor. These were his people. Where was he? Why were they on your ship, killing your team? About to kill you?

“K'aaba' ti' le ajawo' (Call the king),” the woman said, to which one of the soldiers held up a large conch shell. After a beat of silence, the soldier brought it up to their lips and blew through it, a loud clarion call resounding through the air. After the call ended, the woman announced to the soldiers, “Leti' jach le ts'ook viva (She is the last alive).”

“Le ajawo' yéetel complacido (The king will be pleased),” a soldier said.

“Y/N!” came someone's voice from above. Your heart lurched when you saw Doctor Mishra from atop one of the platforms where the radio room was. You internally cursed him for revealing his presence to the soldiers. The soldiers shouted something, and one moved to go after Mishra, but before he could, a figure shot through the air towards where the doctor was.

The figure landed on the platform next to Mishra, who, before he could run away, was struck in the head with the butt of a spear; Mishra fell to the floor, alive, but unconscious. The figure flew up into the air, circled the mast, before soaring towards where you and the soldiers were, landing with a hand on the deck.

The soldiers knelt, joining their hands at the wrists and opening their palms to him. The figure moved, the wings at his angles fluttering as he stood up. Your breath caught in your throat when he set eyes on you, breaking through the circle of soldiers to stand before your kneeling figure.

“You,” was all you could breathe when Namor stared down at you, his spear gripped in his hand. His hair was slicked back with the water of the ocean, his eyes narrowed in one of the deadliest glares you had ever witnessed. A chill went up your spine.

“I gave you that because I trusted you,” Namor poked the bracelet on your wrist with the tip of his spear. Your hands were shaking now, tears pearling at the corners of your eyes. “And here you are... harvesting vibranium. Just as you promised me you would not do.”

“I... you didn’t read my letter?” you stammered out. He was scaring you. There were drops of saltwater on his eyelashes, those ebony eyes of his making you simultaneously melt with adoration and freeze with fear. “I thought... they... they lied to me, they said we were just finding the concentration, I didn’t know they were harvesting it here--”

“You lied to me,” Namor said slowly with composure. His jaw clenched. Something in his eyes changed. “You tricked me.”

“I didn’t,” you were crying now. “I didn’t. I promise, K’uk’ulkan--”

“You do not deserve to call me that,” he gave a dry scoff. He gulped. He wasn’t just angry, you saw; he was upset. Devastated. “You are now an enemy.”

“Look at the map!” you urged him, scrambling to find it. “Look at my notes! I didn’t-- it’s not even near Yucatán, it’s-- it’s just where the concentration was higher, I swear--”

“High Concentration,” the woman from before said, handing the map to Namor. He took it, unrolling it and eyeing the area you had outlined.

“What is this?” Namor asked you, not meeting your eyes. You sniffed, swallowing the frog in your throat.

“It’s-- it’s just where I found the high concentration of vibranium in the first place. I thought we were just supposed to go back to that area, in the northern Gulf, to test the concentration, and that’s what I thought we were researching! That’s what my-- that’s my project. My work.”

“Your project,” Namor repeated.

“Remember?” you practically begged. “Remember how I spent all that time working and you stopped me from getting data? That’s what I was researching! That’s what I’m doing here! I didn’t know that fucking Bernstein and Reynolds were trying to harvest vibranium! I had no idea!”

“How am I supposed to believe you?”

You could barely catch your breath. “I-- I don’t know. My map, my computer, my journal, my goddamn phone, everything’s in there. Take it all, I don’t care. Read everything I’ve ever written, you’ll see!”

Namor bent down and picked up your journal, flipping open to the first page and starting to read. Your knees were starting to hurt from how long you’ve been sitting on them. The silence was deafening, watching him flip through the journal. He read every single word, and you tried to calm your breathing as you watched his face change as he continued to flip.

When he reached the last page, he closed the journal and held it by his side. His glare was gone; he was frowning now, refusing to look at your face. Glancing up at the soldiers, he lifted a hand, to which they lowered their spears away from you and backed up. Namor extended a hand to you as if to help you to your feet. You eyed it hesitantly, but seeing the grimace on his face, you took it and stood.

He didn’t say anything. It was like he couldn’t. He avoided your eyes, and without a word, he turned around towards the railing, resting his forearms on it with a sigh. You were still shaking, but as your fear subsided, you felt the anger bubbling up in your stomach. A drop of blood fell from your nose, touching your top lip.

“You killed everyone,” you muttered, wiping the blood off of your lip. He turned his head and said nothing. “Your people almost killed me.”

“I will do anything for my people,” he told you carefully. His voice was wavering. “If they are threatened, I do not care what it takes. I will protect them.”

You weren’t sure what to say. You walked up beside him, resting your arms on the railing, too. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his chest rising and falling with a quick cadence, and despite not being able to hear his fast breathing, you could see he was becoming flustered.

“I pray you can find it in you to understand my motives,” he continued. You, again, said nothing. You could barely form words, your mouth dry. There was something warm on the back of your neck; you brought your hand up to touch it, only to find fresh blood on the pads of your fingers. The spears had cut you. Namor glanced over at your bloodied hand, brows twitching. He reached towards you, “Allow me to--”

You flinched back. You couldn’t look at him. He dropped his hands and bowed his head, staring at the waters below. They were calm, now, the sharks and dolphins no longer splashing about. That whale you had seen had gone, too. You willed your rapid beating heart to cease, wishing your chest would stop twisting and turning.

“I get it,” you murmured, using the collar of your shirt to wipe the last bit of blood from your nose. Namor’s head twitched up, eyes on you in less than a second. “Gotta protect your people, just like you were when you wouldn’t let me take those samples. But this... this is... what I saw...”

“If I had known you weren’t apart of it, I would never have let--”

“I wish you had trusted me,” you sniffled, finally looking at him. His ebony eyes were wider than you had ever seen them, brown brows tilted upwards in a form of desperation you would have never picture them having. He was beautiful. “My letter, I thought... I thought I explained it.”

“You did,” Now that Namor had caught your eyes, he didn’t dare look away in fear of losing them again. “You did, I... jumped to conclusions.”

“You jumped to conclusions,” you repeated, breaking the eye contact. You clenched your jaw. “So you killed my entire team.”

Namor’s mouth opened and closed like a fish for a second, unable to find proper words. “You have to understand where I’m coming from, here. These ships harvesting our vibranium-- Talokan’s vibranium-- would put us at risk. It could lead to the end of my people.”

“I know,” you sighed, closing your eyes and putting your head on your hands where they rested against the railing. The ocean’s breeze struck at your forehead, cooling your skin and blowing your hair off your face. Namor didn’t say anything, but you could feel him looming closer. You hid your face from him.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice so soft you almost didn’t hear him over the breeze. “Please look at me.”

After a prolonged second, you lifted your head from your arms, the breeze chilling the tears that had rolled down your cheeks. You couldn’t meet his eyes. You couldn’t bear it.

“Take me home,” you said quietly. He blinked. “Please.”

“To... to Yucatán?” he inquired, a layer of hope underneath his words.

“No,” something was twisting in your chest. “To Miami.”

“...right now?”

“Yes.”

Namor didn’t move, just staring at you with those puppy dog eyes that made you want to wrap your arms around him and pull him into you.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “Please, Y/N, we have to--”

“Yes, I am sure,” you said pointedly, despite the wobbling of your voice. “It’s not like there’s anything for me to do here, anyways. Everyone’s dead.”

Namor raised an arm, and the female Talokanil soldier from earlier came to his side. He muttered something to her in his native language; you hadn’t bothered to listen, for one because you didn’t speak a word, but for two because for some reason, hearing his voice was making it difficult to hold your ground.

“Come,” he said to you, holding his hand out. You glanced over at him; he began to rise from the ground, wings on his ankles keeping him suspended in the air. You glanced at his hand. “Do you trust me?”

You felt your lower lip tremble.

“I don’t know,” you said, grabbing his hand anyways. He frowned, his eyes more glassy than ever. You wondered if he would cry. He pulled you up, gently wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you tight on his side, his other arm holding his spear.

In a flash, you were soaring towards the horizon, the cold, salty air whipping you in the face as he flew. His skin was cold against yours, and despite your anger, you pushed yourself against him, wondering when the next time you’d feel him would be.

The gold of his jewelry pressed against your skin, and you stared at the way in glinted under the pale moonlight. You stared at him, the jade in his septum, the point of his ears, the bronze of his skin. There were tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, prevented from rolling down his face and simply flying away from the force of the wind.

You hadn’t realized how quickly you were flying. The shore was near, you could see the lights of the city as you approached it. You slowed, your hair relaxing from the absence of the harsh wind. Scrunching your nose to get some feeling back in it, your feet skimmed the top layer of the ocean as he brought you to the sand and let you go.

You dusted your self off, fixing your head and allowing yourself to adjust to being back on the ground. You had gotten dizzy from the flight, but came to it in less than a minute. You glanced at where his hand still held his spear. When he saw you look at it, he lowered it without hesitation. You finally laid eyes on Namor. The tears from earlier had fallen onto his cheek.

“Do you fear me?” he asked.

“I fear what you’re capable of,” you muttered. “Because I don’t think you’ll ever trust me.”

“I trust you,” he breathed. You frowned. “I trust you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do,” he insisted, falling to his knees in front of you. His ebony hair was partially covering his eyes, but the wind suddenly pushed it back so you could see his face. Your eyes widened, gaze lowering to where he sat. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I trust you. Fully.”

You could barely believe the sight before you; Namor, on his knees. You were cruel, you thought. You were still crying.

“I just need some time,” you said, feeling your heart change at the sight of him. His eyes kept flickered around your face, to one eye, to your nose, to your lips, to the other eye, back to your lips. “Okay?”

“Time?” he repeated, nodding, knees digging into the sand, wings on his ankles fluttering a bit. “Yes, that’s-- as much time as you want.”

“Okay,” you sighed. Namor slowly rose to his feet, reminding you of the way he towered over you. He didn’t let his eyes leave yours, as if he were trying to tell you something tacitly. He looked at your lips.

He lifted his hands towards your face, and when you didn’t flinch away, he cupped both of your cheeks with his palms. You closed your eyes, heart thumping.

“Whenever you are ready,” he began, his thumb rubbing over your cheekbone. “I’ll be here. All right?”

“Mm-hm,” you said, letting yourself look at him. He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Good-bye,” he said. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your hairline so tenderly you thought you might start sobbing right then and there. Before you could say anything more, he soared up into the air, flying away and disappearing into the midnight sky. You wiped at your cheeks, ridding the tears, and with a sigh, you turned around and made for your apartment.

---

taglist:

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a/n: please remember to update your privacy settings so i can tag you!! so many people asked to be on the taglist but then i can’t tag them for some reason... please make sure you update it! thanks everyone <3

#namor #namor fanfic #namor fanfiction #namor x reader #namor mcu #namor x you #namor fic #tenoch huerta #wakanda forever #k'uk'ulkan of talokan #vibranium #namor of talokan #k'uk'ulkan x reader #k'uk'ulkan #mcu #Black Panther 2 #con la brisa #angst #tenoch

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polaroidbills · 9 months

Text

GET'CHA HEAD IN THE GAME

˚✧₊ ( 🏀 📕 ) sim jake - an imagine

genre/cw: jake x fem!reader, angsty, fluffy, basketball player x nerd(?), kissing, forbidden love(ish)

word count: 3052

synopsis: jake sim is the captain of the basketbal team, but he needs some help with his grades. he decides to ask a random girl at a party, who's reading a book, to be his tutor. they start to fall for each other, but what happens when their friends want them to stick to the status quo?

—> mega inspired by high school musical 1 (jake as troy and y/n as gabriella!)

cameos: yeonjun (txt), beomgyu, (txt), and taehyun (txt)

a/n: i thought of this idea at like 1am. and it's a bit rushed but whatever. enjoy!

now playing... start of something new - hsm

i walk into the house party, with the slight smell of alcohol filling my nose. i find the first empty spot on a secluded couch and start reading.

parties were never really my thing. but my mom forced me to go, since i never go out. she thought it would be nice for me to get to know the people in the neighborhood more, since i just moved here.

music blares into my ear drums as i read.

"really? you're reading at a party like this?" i am interrupted.

"well i guess," i say still keeping my eyes on the book.

i feel the couch dip on my rightside and i turn to see a cute guy sitting next to me.

"i'm jake," he puts his hand right in front of the page to shake it.

i sigh and close the book as he leaves me no choice, "y/n."

"i don't think i've seen you around? are you new?"

"yeah i just moved here a week ago."

"ohh cool cool. so you're into that learning and reading stuff right?"

"uh yeah i guess. my grades are good soo."

"great, 'cause i actually need a tutor.. i'm the captain of the basketball team and i won't be able to continue if my grades keep going down. could you help me?"

of course he chooses a party to pick out the one girl who's reading a book to be his tutor.

"um sure? i guess? that would look good on my resumes."

"great! so i'll see you around? what's your num-"

"yo jake!" a shout from across the room is heard, "c'mere!"

"sorry gotta go! i'll see you in school though right?"

"yeah! uh-" and he's gone. just like that.

i guess i tutor now?

well, tomorrow's my first day anyway.

march 27, 2021 was my first day on junior year in a completely different school. everything was different. i was in a different country, city, timezone, and environment.

my first day went by smoothly. i got to know the school a lot and observed the cliques and groups. no one really noticed me, which didn't bother me at all. i liked being invisible sometimes. i have no worries and no drama.

i sit myself down at a table in the cafeteria and start eating, yet again, opening up my book.

i them feel a sort of presence by my side. i look up and low and behold, jake sim.

from what i've heard, jake sim is the captain of the basketball team, and the son of the coach. pretty much the most popular guy in school, and probably the most good-looking. his number is 16.

"hey," he says sitting down, "whatcha reading?"

"normal people by sally rooney. it's my favourite."

"oh cool cool. um so listen, we could have our first tutor session at free period today? in the library?"

i close my book and look at him, finally getting a good look at his face. he's cute.

"uh sure. i wasn't expecting it to be today but yeah, i'll meet you in the library at free period."

"okay great! oh and could i get your number so just in case something happens?"

"sure!" we exchange numbers and he walks away, going back to his friends, and i go back to my book.

my math class was good too. i was busy copying down notes and equations my teacher was writing down. but i noticed a mistake.

"shouldn't it be x=7? and not x=1?" it appears i sid it out loud a little to loudly.

"i'm sorry? did you have something to say y/n?" my teacher asks.

"uh shouldn't it be x=7?" i ask once again.

"that would be quite literally impossible-" she checks on her calculator, "i stand corrected!"

after class, a girl approaches me.

"hey would you like the join the scholastics decathlon? we have a championship coming up and you would be perfect for our team! i'm minji by the way!"

"oh um sure! i've been trying to get involved a little more and doing things out of my box, so why not?"

"great!"

i am now committed to being a tutor and a scholastic decathlon member. i wonder what's next?

the day zooms by and now it's free period.

i grab my books and head off to the library, where i sit and wait for jake to arrive.

i wait and wait for him. where is he? it's been almost half an hour since we were supposed to start and i'm growing impatient.

i start packing up my things, thinking i've been punked and stood up and that he won't show up. but before i can, a boy comes running down the library and in front of me.

"i'm- sorry i'm- late i- had to avoid- sunghoon 'cause he wanted- to play ball," obviously out of breath jake explains himsef as he sits down.

"well let's get started!" i hurriedly get straight into it, not wanting to waste time.

"and don't forget that x is the variable not just a random letter."

"woah it makes soo much more sense now!"

i finish the lesson up smoothly after about an hour.

"thank you so much! i really appreciate this! tomorrow again?"

"yeah sure! and i can check your homework answers then!"

we close our books and grab our things, leaving the library.

its been about two weeks since i've been tutoring jake. and he's made a lot of progress. we've aso been getting a lot closer. we're friends now.

i ended up telling minji about it and she gave me mixed feelings. she told me that the scholastic decathlon is in two weeks and i need to focus on it, and not on jake. i didn't know how to respond, i just nodded and walked away.

(jake's pov)

i have another tutor session today with y/n. and its been heping a lot. i got an a in my math class, and a b in english.

we're also a lot closer than before. we've even hung out outside of school and tutoring. like to a coffee shop or something. i'm starting to really like her i think. i mean she's pretty, smart, kind, and soo helpful. i don't know if she feels the same though.

i leave for the library. and as i open the door, sunghoon steps in front of me.

"so you've been ditching playing ball during free period to go to the library? really? basketball during free period is our thing."

"i'm sorry. it's just if i keep my bad grades, i won't be able to play basketball. so i need to study-"

"jake!" y/n waves to me and sunghoon turns to see who it is. i return the wave and continue the conversation with sunghoon.

"who's that? isn't that the new girl?"

"oh uh yeah. she's been tutoring me- and it's really helping."

"you've been ditching me to study with her?"

"uh yeah i guess. she's really smart and helpful and i think i'm starting to like her."

"look- i gotta go, but all i have to say is to stick to basketball. don't go dating a nerd and start being all book wormy. and don't forget the championship game is in two weeks."

as he walks away, i'm left speechless.

stick to basketball? i'm just trying to get my grades up, right? or is he right? am i just using these sessions to get closer to y/n?

i shake my head, shoo away those thoughts, and make my way to y/n.

(y/n's pov)

i see jake finish his conversation and make his way to me.

"look! i brought snacks this time!"

"oh cool."

"you seem down, is something up?" i notice his slouchy posture and low voice.

"no it's nothing."

"you sure? you know you can tell me anything right?"

"yeah i just really don't wanna talk about it right now."

"oh that's okay. hmm i think i have something that can cheer you up! come with me!" i grab his wrist and run to the school gym.

when i grab his wrist, electricity shoots through me. i really like him. i can't explain it. the way his hair flows, his honey-like smile, and the way he csn make me laugh no matter what. i'm in love.

"the gym?"

"yeah! we're gonna play some basketball!" i grab a ball from the rack.

"really? you know how to play?" he walks to me.

"well- no. not exactly." i shoot the ball, but it completely air balls and misses the basket.

"i'll teach you."

jake walks closer to me and shows how to position myself to shoot.

"bend your knees and elbows and jump. don't forget to follow through with your other hand."

i follow his steps and attempt to shoot, but again it completely misses. laughing it off, i grab the ball to try again.

"here- could i touch you?" he gestures to my elbow and hands.

i keep my eyes on the ball, not daring to look him in the eye. it's too dangerous.

"this like this," he moves my elbow more, so it's bent. "andd your hand over here," he places my hand on the side of the ball.

my heart is racing. he's never been this close.

"and shoot!" i throw the ball and it actually makes it into the net. swish!

"ah! i did it! it went in!" i gasp turning to jake jumping into the air.

the surprised look on his face is so cute.

"look at us! we help each other!" i say and peck him on the cheek.

i turn around to shoot again. but i feel a hand on my wrist.

jake grabs my wrist and turns me back to him. i'm struck and can't move. he comes closer to me. even closer than before. i drop the ball as he closes the space and puts his lips on mine.

we're kissing. i didn't know he felt this way too.

the kiss is slowly and lovely. but he pulls apart to breath.

i stare into his eyes.

"y/n i really like you. like really really like you. you're all i think about."

i'm speechless at the sudden confession. but i'm glad to hear how he feels.

"and you might not-"

"i really like you too!" i interrupt him. his eyes instantly light up. and he starts to smile.

"really?"

"yes. i've been waiting for you to make a move."

"well i'm making it now. will you be my girlfriend?"

"yes."

a week had gone by of me and jake dating. i can't believe it's real. we're together. like for real.

i've never been happier.

(sunghoon's pov)

i walk over to mingi, y/n's best friend to come up with a plan.

"look i have a plan, and i hope it works."

we wait for jake in the locker room before practice. we created a presentation for him.

he walks in and we start.

"choi yeonjun! class of '99 captain, championship mvp, and legend! also known as ace!" i start off.

"choi beomgyu! class of '01 captain and championship mvp! also known as baller beom!" jay continues.

"kang taehyun! class of '02 captain and championship mvp! also known as lightning!" heeseung adds.

"no one of which were involved in books and studying. they won these games because they kept their eyes on the prize and didn't get distracted with books days before the championship game."

"get your head in the game!"

"look guys if you don't think i'll give it my 110% into this game, then you don't know me," we start setting up the camera.

"but we just thought-"

"no here's what i thought. i thought we were a team, i thought we were friends. we lose and win together."

"but then the girl and the studying."

"dude i'm for the team! i've always been for the team!"

(y/n's pov)

i am sat down by minji.

"in a world full of poverty and inequality, a game of basketball plays. though it's entertaining and fun, it provides nothing for this world! thats is the world of jake sim. rather than genorousity and change, he has slam dunks and fouls! unlike oprah winfrey and eleanor roosevelt. that is the inevitable world of jake sim."

"um i have a tutor session soon. i should really go."

"y/n! pay attention."

"dude i'm for the team! i've always been for the team!" the screen plays. i turn to the screen which shows jake.

"and the girl is just someone i met! alright? and the studying is nothing, it means nothing to me! it's probably just a way to ease my nerves and distract me! i don't know. but you're my guys and my team. y/n means nothing to me! i'll forget about her and the studying! are you happy now?"

suddenly it feels as if my heart has been shattered and stomped on like glass.

this is how jake really feels. it all meant nothing.

"this is the real world of jake sim."

tears starts filling up into my eyes. as they flow i realize how jake just used me for grades.

i walk out of the room not wanting to be there any longer.

a few minutes later i reach my locker to grab mu things and leave.

"hey! what's up?" jake comes up beside me but i ignore. "there's something i wanna talk about with you."

"yeah about how i meant nothing to you and that i'm just some girl you met? and how you can just forget about me?"

"y/n-"

"i really liked you jake. how could you?" i walk away as tears form in my eyes once again.

"y/n?"

the doorbell is heard and my mom answers the door. i walk halfway down the stairs.

"hi mrs. y/l/n, i'm jake."

"ohh so you're jake," i gesture to my mom to not let him in or tell him i'm here.

"is y/n here?"

"oh um sorry she isn't here right now."

"oh. that's okay, thanks though," he walks away and i go back upstairs.

the next few days go by and now the scholastic decathlon is in two days.

i've been doing everything in my power to avoid jake. in the cafeteria i sit at a different table. and i turn the other way if i see him, completely disregarding him.

minji could clearly see how hurt i was, i couldn't even focus on studying or reading. i just spaced out, and ignored everyone.

jake has tried to talk to me multiple times, but seeing that i wasn't going to talk to him, he stopped trying.

"y/n! the decathlon is in two days! pay attention!"

"i'm sorry it's just- my mind is in a different place."

"look y/n. i have something to tell you," minji sits.

"we knew sunghoon could make jake say things like that. we planned it all. we thought what jake would say would keep your mind focused on the decathlon. but it seems to have done the opposite."

"you planned it all?"

"yes. sunghoon made jake say those things."

"no one made jake say anything. be said those things himself."

(jake's pov)

what have i done? she completely ignores me and avoids me every chance she gets.

words can't explain how empty and bad i feel.

sunghoon see it too. i keep missing simple lay-ups or space out in the middle of practice. clearly not keeping my head in the game.

i don't know what to do.

"jake! pass the ball!"

"oh sorry-"

"dude the championship game is in two days."

"sorry man. my mind keeps getting distracted. i don't even know what i did."

"i know."

"what?"

"our team and the scholastic decathlon team made a plan to keep your guys' heads focused. but it didn't work. i made you say those things in the locker room and we live streaming it onto minji's computer. y/n was watching and heard what you said. we thought it would help you not get distracted."

"you did what?" i run out of the gym, in a hurry to y/n's house. i wasn't planning on doing this today, but it's now or never.

(y/n's pov)

my phone rings.

jake <3

i decide to pick it up this time.

"hello?"

"y/n. i'm sorry. i know you might not forgive me but please. i could never forget about you. you've been on my mind 24/7. i can't even focus during practice. my life without you is a misery. please come back."

"jake i don't know- you said i meant nothing."

"i know i did. and no excuse could make up for it. but just know that i love you. i love you so much. please."

"jake-"

"i got you something before you say anything else."

"jake what?"

"turn around."

i turn around to the window and there stands jake on my balcony. a surprised smile plays on my face. i walk over to open the door and hang up the phone.

"what're you doing here?"

"i got you this," he hands me a book.

"no way. you did not. A SIGNED COPY?! oh my god! thank you!!" i impulsively pull him into a hug, not thinking. "oh sorry," i awkwardly laugh.

"no no it's okay. i liked it, " he smiles.

"look y/n. i'm so sorry. words couldn't describe it so i thought i could give you this instead. open the pages."

i open the book. "oh. my. god. jake." i'm in awe.

"you annotated it? thats so sweet! thank you! yes i forgive you."

"yes!" he jumps up and down cutely in celebration. "thankyou thankyou thankyou! look i even wrote down a playlist for you in the book, so you can listen while you read or just whenever! anddd just in case you didn't dorgive me now, i wrote down an extra apology on the last page!"

i laugh at his rapid words.

"and i-" i steal his lips for a second to kiss him. and he's left speechless.

"i-" he pulls me in another time to put his lips on mine. and we pull away.

"i love you y/n."

"i love you too jake."

@polaroidbills please DO NOT copy, plagiarize, or repost any of my work.

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targaryenluvs · 1 year

Text

satellite | charles leclerc

<3 briefly based on satellite by hs :)

SUMMARY: the one where charles tries to stay away after your falling out.

WARNING: angsty angst, swearing, drunk stuff, fluff, jealousy, and overprotective-ness (dickhead charles and ASSHOLE LANDO ladies and gents)

PAIRING: charles leclerc x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 3.1k - somewhere in the thousands

A/N: the first part was supposed to be just a one shot but people asked for a p2 so here! and i didn’t proof read lemme know if there are any mistakes

tags: @sheslikeacurse @dan3avacado @miinqrii @honethatty12 @pleasedontfollowimlost

(just the people who asked for p2 i can definitely make a permanent taglist just let me know! enjoy <3)

PART 1

It had been a few months since that night.

Five months to be exact.

Since then you had gotten over it. Over him.

Which is what you told everyone despite the fact that you knew it wasn’t true. He crushed you. Your life came crumbling down on you in that club. And somehow he moved on particularly quickly. By Abu Dhabi his smile was back on his face, and a new girl on his arm.

And she made your blood boil.

With her perfect self. Perfect hair. Perfect everything.

And what sucked even more than Charles moving on with lightning speed?

The fact that she was truly perfect. She was a literal angel. She was an elementary school teacher close to Charles’s Monaco apartment. And their supposed meeting made you want to gouge your own eyes out when thinking about it. They had met whilst Charles was babysitting for a friend of his, the couple being absolutely knackered from taking care of their trio of terror that Charles was kind enough to offer to take their eldest, Brina, to school.

And when he came back to pick her up he was met with a crying Brina sitting in her lap. Her being Elena. Elena Seour. A 23 year old French woman, with brown hair and gorgeous dark brown eyes.

How ironic. She was quite literally Y/n L/n 2.0! But not that the similarities ever resonated with you.

It was hard. Smiling to everyone, nodding,

“Yeah it’s been a while, I’m okay.”

“I’ve been doing great! Focusing more on work, I’m good.”

“It’s been a while since I talked to him but yeah, overall life’s fine, I’m great.”

I’m okay. I’m good. I’m great.

Somehow those words always tasted bitter in your mouth. You always hoped that bitterness would fade away. But it had been so long, and there it was. A reminder, that you were anything but fine.

You were walking through the streets of Monaco.

Everything was calling out to you. The small city was bustling and bubbling on the Friday afternoon. The sun was dipping behind the crystal waters to your right as you continued your brisk walk. The taste was gone, you couldn’t be more happy, a weight of your shoulders.

You had your headphones in and were listening to music. It was calming. For the first time, in a long time, you felt at ease, peaceful. But of course that was disrupted as your best friend Spotify decided to blast ‘Kiwi’ by Harry. Which would’ve been fine despite the fact that you were in a more relaxed mood. Which prompted you to open up your phone and scroll through your thousands of playlists.

Your hand hovered over one playlist.

‘CHAR AND Y/N/N <3′

There it was, that bitter taste.

For some stupid reason you clicked on it. But honestly, you were surprised. Not by the silly music taste comprising of ABBA, Coldplay, Harry Styles, Zayn, Kendrick and Taylor Swift to a bunch of French artists you had no clue about. But by the fact that it did nothing. Your eyes weren’t tearing up, your heartbeat the same, everything the same.

And that comforted you. You were getting better.

But you weren’t so sure if you wanted to listen to the playlist and fall off the idea of getting better and into the dark abyss that was Charles.

Charles Leclerc.

His smile, laugh, hair, horrifying fashion taste-

No! No, no, no. Not happening.

Your stomachs rumbling brought you back to the present day as you got out of the playlist and decided on Zayn’s “Mind of Mine” album. You continued to walk as you searched up near-by restaurants which were still open. And there it was. The echoing laughter of the gods above as the only open restaurant was-

Of course, how surprising! And not only was that annoying but the fact that the two of you had your birthday there not even six months ago felt like a slap in the face.

Toujours. Forever.

It’s just a restaurant. It’s not like you’re going to his apartment and knocking on the door or anything Y/n. Calm the fuck down.

You reassured yourself as you turned around and made your way to the place.

What you hadn’t prepared yourself for was the fact that you had entirely forgotten the fact that not only had Toujours been your favourite restaurant in the city but also a certain Monegasque’s.

So it was entirely shocking when you walked in and spotted the Ferrari driver through the glass sliding doors in the back. He looked gorgeous as always. The golden hour light did nothing to deter you from looking at him, it drew you in. He was wearing a white dress shirt with black pants, his blazer no where to be seen. He was reading a magazine, whilst holding onto a glass of what you assumed was alcohol but from where you were you couldn’t tell.

What did shock you was when Elena returned to the seat in front of him. His jacket draped over her shoulders, with a wide smile on her face.

The warm smile of hers was not reciprocated.

Which piqued your interest.

The hostess returned, “We have a table ready for you Miss! Follow me.” You nodded and smiled before following her along.

You wondered how it would be like to die by glass. Just a shard of glass to eye. Or the neck. Or the head. Each one of those options seems more friendly as you listened to Elena drone on and on and on and-

You get the idea.

Of course the only available table was next to them.

You were sitting with your back to Charles as was he. You thanked god that he was fixing his cuff whilst you were seated. You were nowhere near ready to talk to him. Being so close in proximity to him already had your heart beating out of your chest, ready to leap and run. God you wished you could run.

But your protestant stomach thought the opposite.

Your nose scrunched in disgust as the waitress walked past with white wine. God you hated white wine. So you were even more disgusted when the glass was placed in front of Charles, to which he grabbed it and downed the entire glass. He also hated white wine, whilst Lando loved it. Which always resulted in you and Charles ganging up on him while teasing him.

“I swear to god it’s not even that bad for fucks sake Charles!”

Maybe he had a bad race week? You hadn’t been especially paying attention to Formula One since the split, only every focusing on Lando and Daniel the few times you did pay attention in the week.

Your eyes flicked up as the waitress walked to your table with your order. God had you missed the food here. You were having a cheat day. Which Charles obviously took a bit too literally a few months ago.

So when she placed the Pizza Margherita on your table you had to refrain from kissing her out of gratefulness. The smell was intoxicating. You had also ordered Garlic bread and Mozzarella sticks.

“Miss?”

“Hm?”

“I said there’s an open table inside if you’d like. I can bring this all in.”

You nodded profusely. Anything to get away from Miss Chatty behind you. You took it all back. She wasn’t perfect, she was eager. Way to eager. She hung onto every word of Charles as if he was a god. Which he is but still. She was far to kind, to optimistic all the time. And god was she whiny.

“Charles you’re going to be gone for so long.”

“Charles I’m going to be so lonely.”

“I want you home please.”

She would never shut up. And she also didn’t grasp the concept that Charles was a Formula One driver. Him being busy is the first thing you have to come to terms with in order to be in a relationship with him. And you knew how much Charles hated whining. Well only a certain type of whining. By the way his muscles were tensed which was very appealing to see, you could tell he was at his breaking point. Charles had always hated being away from you, as did you hate being away from him. But you understood. The amount of effort, sacrifice and most of all time that he had put into his career. And you were always supportive, no matter what. However Elena seemed to cling onto him. She quite literally was acting like the children she cared for. Pouting her lips whilst begging him to stay with her.

“It’s just one race, why can’t you stay?”

Is this bitch for real?

The quiet music was soothing as you ate. But you couldn’t help but glance over at the couple outside ever so often. Once you were finished with quite literally all of your food safe to say you were ready to fall into a coma. Food coma that is.

And as you were gathering your belongings to leave, shouting from outside had caught your attention.

“You always put it over me! Everything over me! Your team, career, Carlos, Lando, Arthur everyone!”

“Ma carrière est tout! C'est comme ça que je paie ton appartement. Vos vêtements. Ta voiture. Je te donne tout ce que tu veux ! Tout le temps! Je n'ai même pas fêté la deuxième victoire de Carlos à cause de toi ! Tu m'entraînes loin de ma vie et tu m'enfermes comme si tu me possédais. God I do everything for you. Is it not enough?”

My career is everything! It’s how I pay for your apartment. Your clothes. Your car. I give you everything you want! All the time! I didn’t even celebrate Carlos’s second win because of you! You drag me away from my life and lock me up like you fucking own me.

“I told you to not speak in languages I don’t fucking know! I don’t give a shit about the money okay? I want you! But you don’t want me. I know it. Don’t even try to deny it okay? I see the way you look at her. When she walks by with Lando in the paddock, god you don’t even try to hide it.”

“How the hell is this about Y/n now-”

“It always is! You love her not me. You never have. You liked the idea of being with me, to get over her. It’s all about her!”

“Tu es fou.” You’re fucking crazy.

The unmistakable sound of a hand striking his face.

“I’m not stupid, I know that much French asshole.”

A teary eyed girl ran past you and you thanked god she didn’t look your way.

Charles was sitting down again. His head in his hands. And you found yourself glossy eyed. He looked miserable. He took his head out of his hands and leaned his back, looking up at the sky.

Charles found himself thinking of you. Where were you?

And how the hell did he get here.

The second month he had resorted to a jab or two.

God if he could take it all back he would.

And that’s how he found himself in a bar at 2 am in the morning with Pierre, Lando and Max all around him, drunk too. Him and Lando were still iffy. Lando gave him a piece of his mind almost every day he saw the man on track after the breakup for the first month.

The third was hateful death stares from across the paddock.

The fourth resulted in awkward small take.

The fifth had them in an okay spot. Ever since Lando had learnt of Y/n being better in general seeing her smile return had him over the moon. Even if he was still annoyed at Charles seeing the wreck that he was had him sympathetic.

“I don’t even- I’m not even sad over Elena. I-is that fucked?”

“Slightly mate, but overall even after dating her you saw her about a week each month so it wasn’t t-that big of a relationship so it’s okay. You’ll be over it soon.” Lando consoled the driver.

And that had Lando and Pierre totally sober.

“I just want my Y/n.”

After months of Charles being with Elena and re-assuring his friends and family that he was okay with out her, he was back in square one?

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me man.” Pierre sighed.

“What?” Charles asked as he raised his head from his arms on the table only to be ushered back to his original position.

“Shh Charlie. Ce n'est rien, rendors-toi d'accord?”

Nothing. Go back to sleep ok?

You had been twirling the umbrella in your Virgin Cocktail for the past five minutes. The club wasn’t really your scene, hasn’t been since that night. You were bored out of your mind and had no idea what to do. Seeing Charles so, broken? Exhausted? You had no thoughts to describe it.

After a few drunken protests he was asleep. Lando and Pierre sighed in relief.

It just hurt. You hated seeing him so down, always have.

So when your turned to inspect your surroundings and saw Charles laid across a booth to your right with Pierre and Lando slowly getting out of the booth to go to the bathroom you had to hold your head. How the hell had you run into him twice already?

And all of a sudden you were sitting by his head, and your hand brushing the hair out of his face.

“Y/n?” Pierre questioned.

“Pierre!” You smiled as you got up and wrapped him in a hug, Lando joining shortly afterwards. “What’re you doing next to Charles?” And all of a sudden your shoes became extremely interesting as you gazed at them. “I- I was just- Fuck I have no clue. I just, I miss him.”

“Y/n, as one of Charles’s best mate, I have to say that he misses you. Too much. Honestly? I think he’s still mentally at that club. Replaying it over and over. How he could’ve handled it better. Why he did what he did. He’s beating himself up over everything. Elena was just a distraction and he doesn’t even realize he’s still on you half the time. Elena looks exactly like you, brown hair and eyes, short and so on. He needs closure which I don’t think he ever got, neither did you. I loved the two of you together even if you guys were so sickeningly sweet it made me regret ever being against the two of you. But as your best friend? Since we were kids?”

Whatever he was about to say was going to hurt and you knew it.

“If you take him back I will never forgive you.”

You never thought anything could ever rival how you felt that night but Lando always proved you wrong.

“How could you say that!” You shouted.

“He hurt you! He fucking hurt you bad. I was there for you! I held you when you cried, I dragged you of bed when you threatened to punch me in the face if I even took the covers off of you. When you teared up when finding his sweatshirt I threw it away! I will not let you go back to him if you don’t know for sure how he won’t cheat again. I can not, I will not let it happen again. Y/n you deserve so much more that some cunt who cheats.” Lando rambled on.

“I appreciate you Lando you know that. I love you, you have always been there for me no matter what. But if I want to get back with Charles that would be my choice. I am not a child, you cannot boss me around or make decisions about my life. Yes he hurt and I will forever be grateful to have had you there to get me through everything but Charles is not an idiot. If we did get back together there is no way in hell would he cheat again and I know it. I know Charles in ways that you will never.”

“You obviously didn’t know him well enough since he cheated on you. And you’re fucking going back to him like a fucking idiotic girl.”

Smack.

“How dare you. Fucking using my shit? My past against me? I don’t give a single shit if you don’t want me with Charles I am a grown fucking woman and I will do as I please. When you’ve finally got your head screwed on straight come talk to me like a normal fucking friend would, otherwise?” You looked him in his eyes.

Somehow you again ended up on a balcony for fresh air. “Y/n.” “Fuck off Lando.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me.”

“Y/n.”

Your head shot up as you turned around. Charles was standing there, and you couldn’t stop yourself from hugging him as tight as possible.

“I missed you. I missed you so fucking much it hurt.”

“I missed you too. I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry for everything ma chérie.”

He held your face with his hands on each cheek before resting his forehead with yours. “I missed you. These past few months have been fucking awful. God not even racing made me feel better. You have no clue how much I regret everything that happened that day. I felt so stupid, kissing some random girl when I had the most beautiful girl already. I have no clue why I did it, being drunk is no excuse. You never ever deserved any of the shit I put you through. You were always patient with me and I will be patient with you.”

You looked up into his eyes. God you missed his eyes.

“Je serai patient, je t'attendrai mon cœur.”

I will be patient, I will wait for you my heart.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Did you just quote Harry Styles?”

“Don’t wait. I’m here, right here spinning out waiting for you.”

“Of course. He’s my husband y’know?”

“Oh really? So do I have to fight this guy to get to you ma chérie?”

“Of course! Good luck Char, he’s really hot.”

“Is he now?” He laughed as he tickled your sides whilst you swatted his arms and tried to wriggle away to safety.

“Mon ange please!” You cried.

His heart was intact again.

The nickname had sirens going off in his head, leaving him wondering if this was even real. Did he seriously have you back again? He did.

And he would love you forever, always waiting for you.

Round and round.

Satellite.

#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #lando norris x reader #formula one imagine #formula 1 imagine #f1 fic #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc fluff

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niceminipotato · 9 months

Text

My hopelessly depressed self was listening to music. And you know how it goes? A sad song comes up and you’re singing your heart out and then an image gets conjured up in your head and you have to write it. This song I was listening to was In The Stars by Benson Boone.

Now I will warn you it is sad girl hours and that means angstiness galore. Who knows if the hurt will have comfort by the end of this.

Between the Heavens and the Embers

You had lost them all. One by one they fell. One by one they had been taken. They were gone and you were alone. A single man had done it. All in the span of a mere evening your whole family had crumbled to dust.

******

The day had started as any other. Giggles and cackles echoing through the halls of the castle. The girls, your daughters rather, had been up so early. Winter had been keeping them inside for so long that they were bursting with energy.

You had woken beside her, your lady. The only woman you had ever loved without regard to anyone or anything else. She hardly ever slept but she still enjoyed laying beside you and smiled brightly when your eyes met hers as you woke. The bed you shared was one of the only places where a smile as open as that would make an appearance. She had an image to maintain and you were selfish so you enjoyed that it was only you and your daughters she smiled like that to. While to the outside world she was Countess Dimitrescu a revered Lord of the village to you she was simply Alcina, your love.

The phone had rang that morning and you had whined as she stood to talk to the demanding priestess you so hated. You never understood why your lady revered her as she did but that was a subject you’d learned not to interfere with early on.

You had hoped for a day spent together. You had been talking about it for days. But one look at your lady and you knew plans had gone out the window. She had been up as soon as she hung up hurrying to get ready for the day.

With a sigh you went to help. You weren’t a maid anymore and yet you still loved to help her. A momentary kiss was shared before she gave you an apologetic look. You had shrugged it off, letting her carry on with her duties, but you wished you hadn’t.

******

You wished you had begged her to stay. You wished you hadn’t had to get out of the bed. Wished you could have told your daughters it was a family day. That, as you had planned, you’d spent it together, playing board games, reading, painting, or just talking.

You wished. You wished so much you had done things differently.

You wished you had found him first. Wished you had continued your patrol down in the dungeons. If you had you would’ve prevented your eldest daughter’s death. It would’ve been so simple to lead the man astray. Bela would still be alive had you been there. But no. You had been in the library putting books away. And now all that was left was her sickle laying haphazardly beside a crystallized figure.

You also wished you had insisted on Cassandra teaching you more self defense. Had you done so you and your middle child would have been in opera hall. Training and making an absolute fool of yourself as your other two daughters watched and laughed. But you hadn’t insisted. You had let her go to the armory to sharpen her weapons when everyone knew they had sharpened more than enough. And so another sickle and crystallized figure were all you had left.

And then you wished you had gone to bake cakes with them as Daniela had suggested. But you wanted to do something more strenuous because like them you had so much pent up energy. If you had though, all four of you would’ve been enjoying a cake now all covered in flour while your lady attempted to scold you all for the mess failing miserably and giving into your sheepish grins. But you didn’t do that. Instead you had sunk to your knees and let out a soul rattling sob as you found that your youngest daughter was also gone. Like her sisters leaving only her sickle and a crystallized figure.

Heavens, you wished. You wished you had done so many things differently. How were you going to continue now that they were gone?

You had never felt as broken as you were before. Never felt the air in your lung become painful. Never felt as empty as you did. You wished… but what use was wishing?

******

You didn’t know how long you had been at the library clutching the crystallized figures your daughters left behind. No staff came to you as they had been told to hide. Your lady was no where to be found. That is until the castle shook and a screeching roar rebounded the halls which were usually filled with your daughters’ voices.

You knew who was shaking the castle even if you didn’t know how. You knew it was her the one roaring outside. And in the same line you knew you had to get to her.

Carefully running down the halls with your daughters’ figures you headed for the sound of your lady. You had no idea what to expect at all but what you saw as you made it to one of the large windows wasn’t a dragon.

You knew it was her. Knew the dragon fiercely defending the castle was the woman you loved with your whole being. Any other person might’ve feared her, especially in that state, but not you. No, despite the pain and sorrow you were feeling you couldn’t help but admire her in all her glory. She looked majestic and you couldn’t tear your eyes away.

But then you heard it. You heard the quick succession of gunshots paired up with loud explosions. And your hard sank as the screeches and roars devolved into wails of pain. What you could do to stop it you didn’t know but you ran for her.

Heading for the great tower of the castle you ran as fast as your weak human legs would allow. You ran and ran and ran ignoring the strain in your arms as you carried your daughters’ figures. You ran, your heart clamoring against your ribs, panting like a rabid animal. You ran as more screeching roars mixed in with pained wails. You ran up the steps as fast as you could, the air growing thin. You ran while more shots echoed above you and the tower rattled. You ran while tears streamed down your cheeks. You ran desperate and afraid and then everything stopped.

A loud boom made the ground shudder while the tower shook sending bits of loose rock to the floor. Letting out a shuddering breath you looked out the window and a horrified scream ripped itself free from your throat.

You could see her through the hole over the old chapel’s roof. Could see all of her majestic being laying prone and immobile. A high pitch whistling noise filled your ears and you were off again.

Running desperately you tripped over your feet and landed painfully against the wall with you shoulder to ensure you daughters were ok. You glanced down noting they were and continued on your trek.

It didn’t take long to reach her but it still felt as though hours had gone by. The chill from the outside air bitting at your wet cheeks pulled a shiver from you. You could see Alcina’s huge form crystallizing and ran for her.

Gently placing your daughters down you tried to touch Alcina’s dragon form but it began to crumble away at your touch. You tried hopelessly to put the crumbled bits back but it only made things worse.

You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know how to fix it. You knew you were screaming and yet you could hear nothing. All you could do was watch as the other form of the woman you loved crumbled to dust. The chilled breeze carrying her remnants until the only thing left was her pearl necklace and a crystallized figure.

Shakily you reached for it, for her, and brought her closer. Hugging the hardened crystal you sobbed unable to understand why. You brought your daughters’ figures closer, hugging as much of them as you could while also holding onto your love and sobbed harder.

You couldn’t breathe. There was no air. It felt as though it had been torn away from you. Just like they had taken the best of your heart and left the rest in pieces.

They had been worried about your mortality and yet here you were alone between bleak heavens and the embers your family had left behind. What were you to do now? You were alone so what now?

“… we have to go.” Someone had been shaking you but you had only shrugged them away. “They’re going to kill us if we stay. We have to go, girl.”

It was Maria, the head maid, the one shaking you to try and get you to stand.

“DON’T. TOUCH. ME.” Your voice sounded foreign, garbled, but you didn’t care.

“I won’t let you die too.” Maria pulled you off of them with a force you hadn’t expected from the old woman. “Let’s go.”

“NO!”

“Let go. They are dead, girl. You have to let them go. We need to go.” She pulled you away while you kicked and screamed.

“Let me go!” You yelled. “I want to stay with them. Let me go now! Please! Don’t take me away. Don’t!” You pleaded in between sobs. “You can’t. Please. Please!”

You tried fruitlessly to make her let go but you were growing weaker and weaker. Sobs wracked your whole body as you drew farther away from the crystallized figures your family left behind. You were breaking further with every step.

All you wanted was to go back to the morning. You wanted to go back to when you were in bed waking to your daughters giggles in the halls and Alcina’s smiling face. You didn’t want some figures you wanted them back.

This couldn’t be. This reality couldn’t be. You wanted your family back.

“Alcina! Please, come back. Please!” You begged. “Come on, Bela. Please Cass! Dani, my pretty little bug. Please wake up. Wake. Up!” You tried but there was nothing. No movement but the billowing snow. “Please! Alcina. Please, you can’t leave me behind. You can’t. Alcina please!”

“Girl, hush now. It’s ok.”

Maria’s muffled voice echoed in between your cries but you ignored it. You kept struggling against her and yelling for your family to come back. They just couldn’t leave you like this.

“Please, Alcina. Please.”

“Hush, girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alcina.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Hush draga.”

~~~~~~~

“Alcina, please.” You whimpered.

~~~~

“Please wake up, draga mea. Please.”

That voice. You looked at the crystalized figures still huddled together on the floor. But you could hear a voice. That was her voice. Wasn’t it?

“Alcina.”

“Inimioara mea, please wake up. Wake up!”

You felt as though your feet left the ground, and suddenly your world tilted. The arm around your waist was bigger, stronger. The white light coming in from the hole on the roof became a dancing yellowish one. It was no longer cold but warm. And the crystallized figure that stood taller than the other three was gone replaced by glowing golden eyes under brows scrunched with worry.

You let out a whimper, feeling your raw throat protest. “Alcina?” You called watching her release a breath.

“I’m here, draga.”

“You’re real?”

“I’m real.” She nodded and brushed away some of her tears.

You shuddered at her touch before reaching for her and bringing her closer. Alcina wrapped you in her arms allowing you to soak in her warmth. You let out a soft sob as the images from the nightmare flooded your head.

“Breathe, my little love. I’m here.”

“H-he… he…”

“He is dead. He is gone and we are safe. Remember? It was you who killed him. He is gone.” Alcina rubbed gentle circles on your back as she continued. “Our girls are safe. Miranda and Ethan are dead and we all survived. We are safe.”

“Don-don’t leave me alone. Please. Don’t leave me.”

“I will never leave you. Ever.” Alcina replied assuredly. “You are mine and I am yours.”

“And we’re alright.”

“And we are all right, scumpul meu.”

You let her words wash over you as you clung to her hiccuping your slight whimpers. She continued to whisper comforting words as you calmed, allowing the remnants of the nightmare drift away.

Gradually you calmed the hiccuping sobs and whimpers dissolving into light sniffles. Through it all Alcina held you and whispered her affirming words and sweet little nothings.

“I’m s-sorry.” You whispered.

Alcina pulled away so she could loodk at you. “Never apologize for something like this. You have no control over it and it is not your fault. Do you understand?”

You nodded and your lip quivered but you managed to suppress your sob. She pulled you back to her chest letting you tuck yourself under her chin while you listened to the beat of her steady heart.

“Draga?”

“Hmm?”

“Our girls heard you. May they come in?”

You pulled away from her nodding vigorously. Alcina smiled that lovely smile of hers you loved and hated to share before calling out to the girls.

“Bugs. You may come in.”

In an instant three distinct swarms flitted under the close doors before your daughters stood watching you with worried eyes. You shuddered a breath feeling new tears prickle your eyes and smiled.

Daniela swarmed to you the moment you extended your hand out to her materializing into her human form on the bed beside you. She tucked herself under your chin and held you tightly. Cassandra bit her lip before situating herself on your other side between you and Alcina. Last was Bela who took a spot on Alcina’s other side. All three purred to try and comfort you while also seeking the comfort you and Alcina gave them.

“Momma, are you ok?” Cassandra asked you quietly.

“I’m ok.”

Daniela lifted her head and looked at you with teary eyes while anger swirled in her glowing pools of gold. “I hate that manthing. He makes you cry. He’s hurting you and I can’t cut him. I can’t kill him. I can’t give him what he deserves.”

“He is already gone, sweet bug.” Alcina said reaching out to scratch the shaved side of her head.

“The nightmares will go away, little fly.” You added and kissed her forehead.

“He’s gone. The nightmares will go away. And we’ll be here with Mother and Momma. Everything will be fine Dani.” Bela said from under Alcina’s chin.

“I love all of you. You know that, right?”

The nods and I love yous that followed filled your heart with a warm and soothing feeling. The three settled, the purring making you smile. It didn’t take long for the three girls to fall into a deep slumber while you and Alcina watched them.

“Draga?”

“My lady?”

Alcina smirked at you and shook her head, “are you feeling better?”

“It… it felt so real. But now. This,” you said looking down at your daughters and then back at her, “I know this is the real thing.”

“Good.” Alcina kissed your forehead as best she could with two girls clinging to her. “Oh and before I forget. Scumpul inimioara mea, I love you.”

Leaning as close as you possibly could to her you finally allowed your eyes to flutter close. Daniela and Cassandra laid heavily on you but you didn’t mind. Bela had somehow managed to reach a hand over to you around her mother just because she wanted you to feel her. Alcina herself had rested her cheek above your head too. They were there.

The buzzing forms of your daughters completely relaxed and happily sleeping with you. The woman you loved more than anyone and anything in the world was there. No one was gone. Your family was there. They hadn’t been taken. You needn’t wish because you had saved them back then.

The dormant cadou you’d had, woke the moment you’d heard Bela scream. Your human nature was gone and a new mutated being had been born. You had protected your family. All of them. You were the reason they were still here with you. You didn’t have to hold on to something dead and gone because they weren’t. They weren’t dead they were here with you. You didn’t have to say goodbye because they’d be there forever. It wouldn’t hurt and the best of your heart was still with them but it was fine because so were they.

A.N. Guess no angsty end 🥹 you’re welcome 😇 but then who knows maybe this sucked. Again I apologize for the sad girl hours lol

#alcina x female reader #angst with a happy ending??#maybe???#sad girl hours #idk why i wrote this #but I did so here hehe #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #re8 alcina #daniela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #alcina dimitriscu x reader

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ficthots · 2 years

Text

Polar Opposites

A/N: Angsty with a happy ending (lil bit of asshole Josh). You're welcome 😌. As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Word Count: 11.9k+

There comes a certain bliss that accompanies silence. Allowing one to slow down and take notice of the things around them in a way that they would not be able to do if there was a constant rumble of noise. Silence means being able to listen to the way the wind whistles as it cascades through the trees, rustling the leaves and creating its own music for the world to hear. It means being intune with your surroundings, being able to pay attention to the slightest shift of the room. Silence is a friend.

It has been your friend for a majority of your life, a welcome acquaintance that shields you every day. Growing up mainly alone meant basking in the quiet that would drape across a room. It had been just you and your mother your entire life and when you were deemed old enough to be alone, you were.

She worked as a doctor, leaving you for a majority of the day. She would be gone when you were up in the morning to get ready for school and home at seven thirty each night for dinner before starting it all over again. You admired her and everything she had done for you, ensuring that you would lead a comfortable life.

A comfortable life for you means spending time by yourself. It wasn’t sad in your eyes, actually the complete opposite. It was what you knew and loved. Being able to wind down after a long day of classes, reading silently, writing in peace, and having time with your thoughts.

While you were indeed shy, it wasn’t a large hindrance to you. You knew how to turn on the social battery, but you did admit, it would drain fast. You chose to remain quiet as others spoke to you, carefully deciding how to respond to your chat companion before just blurting out anything that came to mind.

That didn’t change as you went to college. In fact, it allowed you to take stride in that behavior. You had one friend that you would see and have lunch with every week, but most of the free time you had you reserved for yourself.

Until he came into your life.

You were sitting in a large lecture hall for one of the regular, mandatory, core classes. It meant there were hundreds of people attending each session. You sat dead center of the hall, eyes down on your laptop as you began formatting your notes when someone sat loudly next to you.

Paying them no mind, you continued, pulling the syllabus up to have on your screen to follow along as your professor was scheduled to read it this morning.

“Notes already? Isn’t it day one?” You gave a soft smile to the boy next to you. You felt your mouth go dry at how purely handsome he was. His dark brown eyes gleamed playfully at you as you turned your attention back to your screen.

“I just like to be prepared is all,” he leaned towards you, arm brushing yours as he did. “Ah, I see. Better to be over prepared than under, right? I’m Josh,” he stuck his large hand out towards yours. You gingerly placed your hand in his as he enclosed his fingers around your own.

You offered your name back watching as his smile grew. Jeeze, his teeth were basically perfect. “What’re you in for?” Your brow furrowed at his question as he laughed, making your heart skip a beat at the melodic sound. “I mean what’s your major? I’m here for film. Love it, always have, figured I should do something with it, you know?”

You smiled at him, feeling it slowly grow as he kept talking. “Mine is not as interesting. I’m an English major,” his smile remained as he turned to face you in his lecture seat. “I love writing. I thought about being a journalist for a long time. That’s another reason why I want to do film, I can write.” Your pulse was quickening as he spoke, eyes never leaving you as he deemed a real interest in you.

“I do, too, but that’s not what I want to do. I mean, not mainly. I’d love to be an author some day, but I want to be a librarian,” his eyes narrowed slightly at you, head tilting as he took you in, tongue poking out between his pearly white teeth. “I can totally see that. You would be a perfect librarian,” your cheeks were heating at his words, never having someone scrutinize you so obviously before.

The professor entered the room, letting a hush fall over everyone as he started speaking about the course. Your eyes widened as Josh leaned over towards you, whispering over the professor. “You want to get lunch this week? I want to hear you talk about being a librarian some more,” you shushed him as he started typing on his own laptop.

“Look at that, you already have the shushing down pat,” you bit back a laugh at his words, eyeing him from the corner of your vision, seeing him beaming. “So, yes to lunch?” You grew anxious wondering if anyone else in the hall could hear him talking to you. You had never spoken over a teacher before and your paranoia was washing over you.

“If I say yes, will you please be quiet so I can hear the professor?” he winked at you, making the motion of zipping his lips and throwing the key away.

As the lecture came to an end, you quickly placed your belongings into your bag and tried to hurry out of the room before your seat companion could catch up, but to no avail. “Ah, can’t get rid of me that easily!” His voice carried through the air, stopping you dead in your tracks.

You turned to face him and saw that large grin take over his features, gorgeous dimples on display. “Lunch this week, I’m serious. I’ll find you later this week for it,” he shot you a wink as he started walking in the other direction.

His chances of remembering the plans were slim, you convinced yourself and that’s why when you saw him leaning against the stairs railing of one of the buildings your lecture was in, shock took you over.

Josh had his hands stuffed into his pockets, looking around the crowds trying to find you. A large smile took over his face as you came into his view. You couldn’t believe he remembered.

He didn’t even say hello as you cautiously approached him. “What are you feeling today for food? I’m thinking tacos. There’s a really good place downtown if you’re down,” you walked next to him and nodded at his words.

“Sure,” he took your backpack off your shoulder, slinging it over his own, but as you went to take it back, he stopped you. “Pretty girls don’t carry their own bags. How was class? Learn anything good?” you felt like you were going to throw up right then at him calling you pretty.

You two sat on a patio table, laughing as Josh told you stories about his brothers. “I’m dead serious! I wake up and see him peeing in the fireplace, completely shit faced, butt naked from the waist down, leaning against the wall,” you were trying to catch your breath as he shared.

As you both calmed down, catching your breath, he took a chip from your plate. “Alright, what stories do you have? Any crazy siblings?” You shook your head, offering a soft smile. “Nope,” he narrowed his eyes, resting his chin on the back of his hands.

“Cousins?” You shook your head. “Parents?” You nodded and held up a finger. “One, my mom, but I don’t have any crazy stories about her,” you shrugged as you sipped your drink. “Grandparents? Aunts? Uncles?” You giggled as he carried on, growing more shocked as he went through the list.

“It was just me a lot. My mom’s a doctor so she was gone most of the time. Not a lot to share,” you bit into a chip as you finished, but instead of Josh making you feel bad about spending most of your childhood alone like most people did, he smirked at you.

“That’s why you’re so quiet. It’s not a bad thing, I don’t think. I wish I would’ve been alone more growing up. Especially with having a twin, it was a pain in the ass most days. But if it wasn’t for them we wouldn’t have our music,” you eyed him, letting your hands rest against the flat surface of the table.

“You do music?” It was like opening Pandora’s box. He lit up, talking for over an hour and a half about the music they made and how passionate they all were. It was thrilling seeing how much he loved it and you couldn’t help but smile at him as he hardly took any breaks as he spoke.

His voice changed between tones and you were completely enamored with it. It made you want to hear him sing since he claimed he was the lead singer of the band, but for now you could suffice with listening to him talk. You didn’t think you could ever bore of him.

He finally stopped himself, cheeks glowing a bright red as he looked back at you. “I’ve been talking for almost two hours. You have to stop me or I could talk forever! Seriously,” he laughed as he rubbed his face, but you giggled at him.

“I don’t mind. You have a nice voice,” the complement left your mouth before you could think of it and your eyes widened as you stammered after. “Gosh, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that,” he laughed, grabbing your guy's trash as he stood.

“Don’t apologize! That’s practically the best compliment you can give someone who loves the sound of their own voice,” he winked at you as you stood, walking out of the restaurant with him. He looked around at the downtown scene and nudged you.

“You need to get back right away? You want to walk around for a bit?” He was nervous. Listening to him for as long as you did had let you learn his tonal habits quite quickly. His current tone gave him away. You only nodded, letting him take your hand in his as you two strolled the streets, listening to him tell you random thoughts that popped into his head, unable to keep them in, needing to be shared with someone.

Josh slowly picked away at your shell after that. You began opening up for him a little bit at a time. Each time he discovered something new about you it was like he had won the lottery. His eyes would light up, his dimples would show, and he would blush.

It wasn’t too long before you were together more often than not. He would meet you outside of your classes, taking you on a walk or for lunch, planning dates he knew you would enjoy. He felt awful after he took you on a mini golf date and you left with a pounding headache from the screaming kids that littered the area. No matter how much you assured him it was fine, he refused to believe it was.

He had surprised you with a picnic one late afternoon and you sat in between his legs, leaning back against his chest, watching the sun dip below the horizon. You both sat in silence, your eyes shut, savoring the reprieve.

His fingers lightly traced up and down your arm, letting you bask in the quiet evening. A small smile graced your face as you heard a squirrel run through the tree you sat underneath. The grass had a soft wave going through it with every light breeze that would float through the air.

You were startled out of your thoughts when Josh whispered into your ear. “Mouse?” He laughed as you jumped, placing both of his palms flat on your arms, trying to still you. “Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I wanted to ask you something,” you rested back against him, willing your heart rate to go back to normal as he continued rubbing his hands over your arms.

You hummed, the sound almost falling on deaf ears, but he heard. He always did. “Would you want to come home with me this weekend? I want you to meet my family. My moms dying to meet you,” he chuckled at the end.

He was biting his lip, you could hear it in the way he spoke. He was anxious about asking you, but the slight tilt in his tone meant he was excited about you meeting the people he loved most in the world.

You turned your head to peer up at him, seeing his hopeful eyes look over your face in awe. The sun had you gleaming in the golden hour and he had never seen anyone more beautiful in his life. His heart leapt into his throat as he stared at you.

“Course I will. I’d love to meet everyone,” his smile grew as he bent his head down to meet you, lips gently pushing against your own. You hoped that your own nerves weren’t displaying across your face, fear pummeling you at the thought of meeting his family. His people.

What if they didn’t like you? You had been told that your quietness had been taken wrong in the past, coming off as more standoffish than anything. That wasn’t who you were, but they didn’t know that. You were spiraling, feeling the knot grow in your stomach.

Josh drove you both up to his childhood home a few days later. You were breathing quickly and shallowly, fears overtaking you. Josh had been talking almost the entire drive, giving you the rundown on everyone you were supposed to be meeting. There were going to be so many people there.

Your hands had a slight tremble to them that Josh noticed as he looked over at you in the passenger seat. You had pulled up to the house and their driveway was packed with cars, throwing a barbecue for the event of meeting you.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he took your hands in his and saw you gnawing at your lip, unable to tear your eyes away from the house. “What’s going on?” You blew out a shaky breath, knee starting to bounce. “What if they don’t like me? I don’t want them to think I’m rude,” he shook his head, rubbing your hands in his, smiling at you.

“First, they’re gonna love you, I know it. Second, they aren’t going to think you’re rude, mouse. I told them that you’re quiet, so they know that, okay?” You nodded at his words, peeling your eyes away and meeting his own as his fingers pinched your chin. “Third, I am right here and will be by your side all night. If you need to take a break, just let me know and we’ll go to my room,” you gave him a shaky smile as he leaned over the center console, connecting your lips in a reassuring kiss.

“Okay?” You nodded at him, getting out of the car, meeting him at the front of it, letting him take your hand in his. His fingers laced with yours tightly, your other hand toying with the hem of your dress. Before you walked into the backyard where the mess of voices, music, and food cooking was wafting from, he stopped you and gave you a bright smile.

“Deep breath,” you mimicked him as he winked at you. “I love you,” your face warmed at his words. “I love you, too,” he led you both into the backyard and his brother's eyes fell on you two first.

“They’re here!” His hand squeezed yours as one of his brothers jumped off the deck railing, landing in front of you both. He pulled Josh into a hug and then turned his attention to you.

“My brother has not shut up about you since you met. You’re too pretty for him, by the way. If you want a Kiszka worth your time, I am readily available,” your eyes widened at his words, shocked at what he had just said about his own brother.

“This is Jake, my twin. He doesn’t know how to read a room and keep that mouth of his shut,” he and Jake quickly pulled into a tussle and you jumped when another voice appeared from behind you, yelling loudly.

“Boys knock it off!” You turned to see a woman with short blonde hair and a large smile on her face. “Oh my gosh, you are gorgeous. Hi, honey! I’m Karen,” she pulled you into a tight hug as you awkwardly laughed, gently wrapping your arms around the woman before someone else spoke up.

“Come on, let them be stupid. I’m Veronica, but everyone calls me Ronnie. You can help us get the condiments and stuff ready,” her arm linked with yours, pulling you with her towards the house. Your eyes widened, panic coursing through you, but you tamped it down.

You could do this.

It was over an hour later when Josh finally found you. You were sitting on the couch with his mom and sister, watching them flip through his baby album, telling stories behind the images.

“There you are. You were stolen from me and I’ve been looking all over for you,” his face lit up as you came into his sight, you returning the smile as he saw what sat on your lap, his mom on one side of you, his sister on the other. “Oh no, how did you get into the baby books so fast?” He took it off your lap, grabbing your hand in his and pulling you up from the couch.

“I’m stealing her back!” You laughed as he ran you away from them, leading you upstairs to his room. His hands cupped your cheeks once the door shut and he smiled at you. “Hi, I’m sorry you got stolen. You okay?” You put your hands on his forearms and leaned into his touch.

“I’m good,” he brought you forward and let his lips land on your forehead. You turned around from him and took in the room. It was every aspect of his personality in one single spot.

The posters took up every square inch of space they could, every band you could think of represented. His desk was cluttered, knick knacks, old books, journals, papers littered the space. He had a bookshelf that only had a few books actually on it, the shelves filled with old CD’s and records. His bedding was light green with a pattern you couldn’t make out because the bed was unmade. The room smelled of incense. It was Josh.

You slowly walked around the room, taking in every little fact you could, storing it in your brain for use later. He eventually ended up behind you, explaining what things were and why he had them. His fingers danced on your arms as he spoke quietly so only you two could hear, giggles mixing together at some of the tales behind the objects.

When someone clears their throat behind you both, you jump, hand landing on your heart, Josh grabbing you to still you as he laughed. “Honey, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Just wanted to let you two know that the food is ready,” his mom laughed at your surprise.

You smiled at her as Josh said you’d be down in just a minute. When you two ventured back downstairs, everyone had made their way outside, the outdoor dining table packed with people. You sat next to Josh as he made you a plate, handing you all your favorites as he yelled at his brothers from across the table, occasionally throwing food at one another.

You heard your name flow from someone's mouth and as you saw his dad smiling at you, you knew it came from him. “So, remind me again what you’re in school for,” as you went to answer, hands slightly trembling as the attention settled on you, Josh spoke up.

“She’s an English major, but she’s going to be a librarian. My girl is so smart it’s insane,” your cheeks burned as his mom's smile widened at his words. She looked at her husband who returned the look.

“I think it’s quite fitting that Josh is with someone who can professionally shush him for a living. Someone needs to,” you laughed at the joke his younger brother said, but you shrugged as you wiped your mouth with a napkin. “I don’t mind his talking. I actually like it a lot,” he smiled at your words, squeezing your knee.

As the night came to a close and it was time for you to head back to campus, Josh’s mom grabbed you into another bone crushing hug. “Thank you for coming out. I know we can be a lot. Especially him, but I think you’re so good for him,” as you pulled back, her hands cupped your cheeks and patted them.

“Alright, mom give her back,” he gently tugged you away from her as you waved bye, saying how great it was to meet everyone. The drive home was quiet, the windows rolled down, your eyes shut, feeling the breeze skirt across your face.

His hand held yours the entire time, thumb brushing against the back of it. “Everyone loved you, just so you know. Think you’re way too good for me,” his soft smile had your chest growing warm. You didn’t respond with words, only tightening your grip on his hand, saying all you needed to.

Weeks later at dinner with Josh you took a moment in the lull of his constant chatter to interject. “Hey babe. What would you think about meeting my mom this weekend?” It was like you had asked him to marry you. The excitement coursed through him and he started talking incredibly fast.

“Oh my god, yes, absolutely. She wants to meet me? What do you want to do? Why don’t I take us all out to dinner? Obviously we’ll go to her. What good restaurants are there?” He grabbed his phone to start looking as you chuckled at his giddiness, grabbing his hand to still him.

“Josh, take a breath. She wants to cook for us,” he switched gears, asking what he should wear. He was nervous and you thought it was adorable. This was much less intimidating than when you met his family, but he wanted to make the best impression on her.

In his eyes it was more difficult. With his family, if one person didn’t like you that was fine because there were a dozen others that did. With your family it was just your mom. If she didn’t like him, what the hell was he going to do?

When you pulled up to your home, Josh nervously fixed his shirt, having your hand in a death grip as you walked to the door. He was in awe of the mid-century home that sat on the hill away from other houses.

You walked in and the smell of home cooking greeted you both. It was incredibly quiet, the sounds of cooking took up the space as well as some music playing very low in the background, almost on silent.

“Hi, mom,” you spoke out as you entered the kitchen. Her face lit up as she hurried over to you both, taking you in a tight hug. “Hi, baby,” Josh watched as you two stayed locked in the hug for a beat longer than normal. You didn’t get out to see your mom often, her being a few hours drive from you, so you cherished the time you could get.

You looked briefly at the boy whose eyes wandered the rooms he could see and noticed that they all appeared like no one ever lived in them.

As you pulled back, you grabbed Josh’s hand and gently pulled him forward, snapping his attention back to the moment. “Mom, this is Josh,” her smile brightened even more as she took him into a hug. “Josh, welcome to our home. It’s so nice to meet you,” he smiled at her as she ushered you both to sit down.

“Thank you so much for inviting me over,” Josh spoke out as you pointed to the chair he should take. She brought you both a glass of wine, but you didn’t sit with him, going around the island to see what she needed help with.

“Oh, of course, Josh. You-” she pointed at you with a smile, “go sit down. I got this,” you followed her instructions going and sitting while taking your hand in Josh’s, lacing your fingers together and giving him a reassuring smile.

“Josh, what do you do?” She turned leaning on the counter, smiling gently as she sipped from her glass.

You three fell into easy conversation over dinner. Josh told her stories of him and his brothers, their passions for music, his adoration of film, and his love for you. Your mom listened intently to his stories, occasionally adding to the conversation between you two, but she mainly observed.

As the night wound down, you took over the dishes for her, leaving her and Josh to chat in the living room for a bit. You could hear her laugh echo in the house at whatever Josh had said. You wandered into the room and peered around the corner, seeing the two of them chat like old friends.

She loved him. Of course she did. Who didn’t love Josh?

“Babe, we gotta get going. It’s a long drive back,” you sighed reluctantly as he stood at the same time as your mom. “Let me use the restroom real quick, then we’ll go,” he kissed your cheek as he walked by.

Your mom gave you a soft smile, waiting to hear the noise of the door click. “He’s sweet, love. I like him,” she knew you were waiting for her to speak. A breath of relief rushed from your chest, a smile growing at her words, but she turned, grabbing the empty glass as she continued.

“But he’s going to hurt you. Not intentionally I don’t think, but it will happen. You two are so-” she took a breath, walking past you to the kitchen, your stomach flipping as you listened to her talk, smile falling down as she continued, “different. Too different. He’s into that music thing which is great, but that will end up being his personality. It’ll take over his life and that’ll be great for him. Not for you. I’m not saying it can’t work out, but you are my baby and I want you to be okay. I just want what’s best for you and I don’t want you to get hurt. Just be careful, okay?”

You didn’t have time to respond before he reappeared, arm slipping around your waist. “Ready to hit the road, mouse?” You nodded, plastering a smile on your face despite the feeling of dread sitting heavy in your stomach.

“Yeah, let’s go,” you walked to the door, taking your mom in a hug as she rubbed your back, her words sitting heavy on you. “Josh, come back anytime. It was a pleasure having you. I want to hear more stories about those wild brothers of yours,” he chuckled, letting your mom briefly hug him.

“Of course, I have a million more to share. Thank you again for having me,” you two walked to the car and as he drove away, you watched your mom growing smaller and smaller as you drove off.

Her words rattled you for a bit, but as time moved forward, you and Josh stayed strong. You believed he was the love of your life and who you were destined to be with. As his music took off with his brothers and the years rolled on, you continued on your track as he ventured off to focus on the band.

They had become a huge success and you got to watch him blossom into a captivating man. You loved his brothers and they took you in as one of their own without hesitation. It was what you had missed as a child and although it was a lot to deal with, you slowly got more used to it.

You would never be the person to actively seek out activity that would cast you in any sort of social light, but you felt calmer with Josh by your side. He loved introducing you to people and telling them, “The love of my life is a librarian. She runs her own library, like she’s the lady in charge.” It always made your face burn, tucking further into his side as he said the most praising things about you everytime he could.

The two of you had moved in together two years into your relationship and it was the perfect chaos of your combined personalities. When Josh needed to come home and destress after a long day at the studio, you ensured that the house was set for that. He knew when you needed more attention than normal, never going out of your way to ask for it, but he would dote on you. Pulling you from the couch to dance with you, hands always on you in some way, asking you to talk about your day just to hear your voice and knowing when you needed to talk about your problems.

When he was gone on tour, you started missing his constant presence in the house, but you were okay. Everyone swore you had the perfect personality to be matched with someone like Josh, despite being polar opposites you both were exactly what the other needed.

Your mom's words never left your mind though. Keeping a watchful eye on things over the years to be able to tell if something was going to happen, but as time went on, it fell off your radar completely.

That’s why when things did change, you didn’t catch it earlier.

The first time an icky feeling wormed its way into your gut was on a Friday night. You had been reading on the couch, already having washed your face and thrown on your pajamas, when Josh walked out of your room, fully dressed.

Your brows furrowed as you looked at him. “Where you going, bug?” He grabbed his phone from the counter, slipping his shoes on as he walked over to where you sat, quickly kissing your temple. “Going to get a drink with my brothers. I’ll be back later, okay?” You nodded, offering a tired smile as he left.

That hadn’t been the time it had made you feel odd. It was the fifth time it happened.

It was that time where he didn’t walk over to kiss you goodbye, only quickly saying a whispered goodnight over his shoulder as he talked to someone on the phone in an upset tone, leaving the house and you sitting completely alone. You took in a shaky breath, but pushed the feeling down.

He just forgot.

You had asked him a few days later if he wanted to go out for dinner that night and he excitedly agreed. As you two sat at your favorite place, he got your order wrong. You chuckled awkwardly as he ordered before correcting him. He looked shocked that he had gotten it wrong, but you shrugged it off.

“You’ve been tired. How was today by the way?” You sipped your drink as he brushed off the topic. “We finally recorded my song, but it wasn’t anything like I wanted it to be. Nothing new,” your heart sank a tiny bit.

Josh had never passed on the opportunity to talk about his passions, especially the album they had been slaving over for months. You sat quietly, almost unsure what else to talk about, but the waiter brought your appetizer and he started on a story about what Jake had done last week at the bar they had gone to. Without you, again.

Little moments like that came and went, but they hung heavy over you. You felt like you were watching Josh make moves away from you. Was he growing and you weren’t entirely keeping up with that? You had felt content with how your life currently was. How you were together, but doubt settled in you because Josh didn’t appear to be feeling the same way anymore.

You and Jita sat chatting at dinner a few weeks later, but she grabbed her phone and sighed anxiously. “I meant to show you, this is what I’m wearing to the release party next week. What are you wearing? We should match, that would be so cute!”

As she showed you the photos, you shifted in your seat, uncomfortable silence falling on the table as you quietly answered. “Uh-what party?” You tried to laugh through the nausea that sat in your throat. The brothers eyes all darted to Josh, who looked back at you before what had happened dawned on him.

“Shit, I meant to tell you tonight. The album release party is next week,” you stared at him as he refused to look at you, instead making eye contact with Jake. Jita cleared her throat, trying to clear the tension that sat.

“Okay, well we can find you something. We have time!” You forced a smile as your heart sank further into your gut. You felt sick to your stomach and excused yourself from the table, walking quickly to the bathroom as the restaurant was growing too loud for your liking, needing a moment to calm down and breathe.

When you left the table, your hearing tuned in to yourself to calm down, but you heard Sam speak first. “Josh, what the fucks going on, man?” Your eyes welled with tears as you eyed the restroom, opting to step out of the building instead.

The door opened and closed behind you as your shaking hands grabbed the railing in front of you. “Hey mouse. You feeling okay?” You knew that voice anywhere. Turning and smiling at Danny, you nodded your head.

“Just a bit loud is all,” he stood next to you and stared out at the city view in front of you both. You and Danny had grown unbelievably close over the years, finding comfort in each other with how quiet and reserved the two of you could be. He never pried more than necessary and his presence was a comfort on its own.

When your breathing calmed down Danny chuckled. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to wear to that party. Apparently it’s a formal thing, but I mean, do they even know us?” You laughed as he spoke. “Throw on some dress pants and shirt and you’ll be set.”

After a bit of time, you wandered back into the restaurant to see the group getting up from the table. Josh looked at you both and then focused his attention on you. “Ready to go?” You nodded, saying goodnight to everyone and following him out.

It was quiet the entire drive home and when you got home, Josh went straight to bed.

You and Jita went shopping the next day and you found a dress that made you feel beautiful and what you thought would make Josh’s eyes bug out of his head a bit. It was you stepping out of your comfort zone and you knew Josh would be proud of you for doing so.

The day of the event, you spent hours getting ready. You made sure your hair was just right, makeup done tastefully, and the dress was on correctly. He was waiting in the living room for you and when you came out, his eyes were glued to his screen.

You felt silly being so nervous, but this was something you hadn’t done before and you were anxious to see what he would say. Josh heard you enter the room and he quickly looked at you and smiled before going and grabbing his keys.

“You look good, mouse. Ready?” You didn’t know how to react, just grabbing your bag and nodding your head, walking out behind him. Maybe you expected too much. You had put too high of hopes. Maybe you didn’t look as good as you had previously thought.

When you entered the party with him, Josh broke from you almost immediately, saying he was going to talk to some people. When Sam and Jake’s eyes fell on you, their smiles took over their entire face. “Jesus Christ, mouse. You look fantastic. Absolutely breathtaking,” your face burned as Jita came and showed you the table where you were all supposed to sit.

You sat at that table waiting for Josh for almost an hour with Jita before Jake came and took her away. Danny came up behind you, startling you as you jumped with a laugh. “What’s a pretty girl like you sitting here all alone for?” Your eyes fell to Josh and saw him laughing and chatting with a group of people you didn’t know and Danny followed your gaze. “Ah, you know I’m not good at this stuff,” you waved your arm around the space, trying to laugh off the situation, but he wasn’t having it.

“He’s being stupid. C’mon, I’ll take you around then if he won’t,” you took Danny’s arm, letting him lead you around the room, chatting with people you had never met and seeing others you had known for years.

You had never felt so grateful for someone to be your saving grace at that moment than you were for Danny. You two had a blast, laughing together as you leaned against the bar, people watching and snickering into your glasses.

When you two landed back at the table, just the two of you, your eyes instinctively found the boy you had been in love with since you were a teenager.

Your mom was right. The more you thought about it, the more you realized it. Sadness took over your being as you thought to yourself. You two were such extreme opposites that it wasn’t going to work. Especially as he continued to morph into a person that was more outgoing than ever before. He was outgrowing you.

Danny saw you staring off into space and you felt his hand take yours. “Danny?” You asked out, seeing him eye you, waiting for you to continue. “Do you think Josh still loves me?” You whispered it out, only wanting him to hear. He was basically your best friend and someone you knew would give you what you needed to hear not what you wanted to hear.

Your eyes fell to him and a sad smile took over your face as your eyes grew glossy. “It’s okay. Be honest with me,” he shook his head and spoke, pulling your attention solely to him. “Of course he does. He’s been tired from working on this album, we’ve all been fighting more than normal and I know that’s taking it out of everyone right now, and I know things have been weird, but they’ll go back. It’s you,” he said it like it was so obvious, but it only further solidified what you were thinking.

He was right. It was you.

You and Josh drove home together that night and when you tried to make small talk to break the silence that you couldn’t feel comfortable in no matter what peace you tried to find, you instantly regretted it.

“That was fun tonight. It was fun seeing everyone all dressed up. I met a lot of new people and saw people I hadn’t seen in ages,” your fingers linked through themselves as you spoke, but Josh only scoffed at your words. Irritation seeped into every syllable he spoke.

“Yeah, you sat at that table all night. You didn’t talk to anyone except Danny,” you bit back any more words, knowing if you spoke anymore it would only escalate the situation. You weren’t good with confrontation and tried to diffuse situations at any chance you could to make sure you would escape unscathed.

That meant remaining quiet for the rest of the ride home. When you pulled up to the house and went inside, Josh went and sat on the couch as you went to your room and changed. He hadn’t moved as you reappeared, but he spoke as soon as he saw your figure.

“Why couldn’t you try? Just tonight, why not?” Your face contorted in confusion as he spoke. “What do you mean?” He laughed dryly as he continued on. “I needed one night's worth of effort from you. To go around and talk to people. Do you know how embarrassing it was to see you sitting at the table like a scolded child?” Your jaw hung slack at his words, eyes wide in shock as he spoke.

“I did talk to people. I went around with Danny for a bit,” you whispered back, not wanting to speak louder, not sure if you could. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. I didn’t mean to, but I don’t really have anything to apologize for Josh. I hardly knew anyone at the event anyways. I went around the room and spoke to plenty of people all without you,” he shook his head, running his hands through his hair.

“With Danny! Not alone! You didn’t know anyone? Then go talk to people! You hardly left his side all night, it was like he took you, not me,” you crossed your arms and looked at him in disbelief.

“That’s your fault, not mine. The second we walked in the door, you disappeared. Danny didn’t want me sitting by myself,” he cut you off as you tried to keep talking, overpowering you easily in the conversation.

“Of course he didn’t, but I did. Here’s what we’ll do, you just sit here in your silence like you always do and I’ll be in there cooling down so I don’t say anything else stupid, yeah?” Your eyes widened as he spoke, unsure where he had gotten that from. He walked out of the room, closing the bedroom door with a slam behind him.

You didn’t need this. Didn’t deserve this. You quickly grabbed your shoes and car keys, leaving and taking a breather for the night.

When you pulled up to an empty parking lot, you sat in your car and cried. You cried for what you knew you had lost. Your Josh had been gone for a while and someone new stood in his place. Someone that didn’t suit you anymore. Someone that needed something different, someone to better match what his life was like. That wasn’t you.

You were sitting on the empty living room floor, taking in the space around you and smiling to yourself at the memories that were going to happen in this place. The home you now shared with Josh. It was quiet, letting you close your eyes for a second and listen to the house itself.

“Okay, mouse. Movers are gonna be here in like twenty minutes, we need to go to a store of some sort to get some basics. Mom, dad, and brothers are coming up tomorrow. I think we made sure the air mattress was unpacked and in the Jeep so we have somewhere to sleep tonight,” his rambling echoed and bounced off the empty walls and you just smiled, listening to him grow closer to where you sat.

His large hands landed on your knees, creeping up your thighs, forehead pushing against yours. “Sorry, didn’t know you were in quiet time,” you let your hands go behind his ears, tucking the hair back and opening your eyes.

“I was just listening to the house is all. Getting used to its noises,” he hummed, landing his lips against yours before pushing you onto your back and laying on you. His lips moved from yours to your neck and you giggled as his fingers tickled your sides.

“Talk more to me, Josh. What else do we need to do?” He pulled back, dotting the end of each of his sentences with a kiss somewhere new on you. A knock on the door pulled you two from the little world you had fallen in and he stood, taking you with him.

“Ready to build our world together?” You sunk into his side as his arm wrapped around your shoulder, kissing your forehead as you walked to the door. “Can’t wait.”

You hiccuped in the car from crying so hard, hand angrily wiping at your face as the tears continued to fall. The house had seen so many good memories, but lately they had only consisted of you or the two of you on opposite ends of the world you both had constructed for the two of you.

Your phone went off and as you checked it you saw missed calls and messages from Josh, one text from Jake which meant he was calling everyone. You texted Jake back quickly before he talked to anyone else.

Twin #2- Hey Josh called me asking if I’d heard from you. You okay? What’s going on?

You- I’m good. Just taking a breather

Twin #2- I’ll let him know. I’m here if you need me

Your tears fell harder as that message popped up on your screen. Losing Josh didn’t just mean parting from him, but from the family you had become a part of that you absolutely adored.

“Okay, okay! This one is for mouse, from Karen and Kelly,” Ronnie handed you a beautifully wrapped present that had your chin wobbling. “Guys, I told you no gifts please,” his mom waved you off as you leaned against Josh. “Go on and open it!”

He eagerly watched as you opened the wrapping. When you pulled out a photo album that was full of pictures of you and the siblings, extended family, and Josh you bit back tears. “I know how much you love going through those books and I wanted you to have one, too. You’re one of us now and that means you get an album, but it stays here with the rest of them.”

You had never felt more at home with a group of people then you did with them and this made you feel like a part of a family that you had never would have thought you would get to be a part of.

“This is the best gift I’ve ever been given. Thank you,” you choked back tears as you spoke and Josh kissed your head, taking it and going through it. “Actually that would be me, but this is a close second,” you slapped his arm as everyone groaned at him, Sam throwing wrapping paper in your direction. Josh kissed your cheek as he giggled with you.

“Who’s next? I’ve been skipped twice now!” Jake yelled into the room as he moved under the tree to grab another gift.

Staring out onto the horizon, it was still dark, the sun not expected to rise for the next couple of hours. The calls and texts from others stopped, but Josh persisted. You eventually shut your phone off, not wanting to see the panicked questions from him on where you were and why you had left.

Silence was your friend. It had been for the majority of your life, but now as you sat in it, staring into the rolling hills, it ate at you.

Josh brought a chaos of noise with him wherever he went and over time it was what you had come to love in your home, just like how he craved the sanctuary of quiet you brought with you wherever you went.

It was late. Extremely late. Far too late for you to be up and waiting for him to return home, but you hadn’t seen him in weeks and were desperate to just catch sight of him for a second.

What you didn’t expect to happen was to drift off to sleep on the couch waiting for his impending arrival.

As Josh entered into your shared home, the silence greeted him in a welcoming embrace. It stilled his thoughts, dulled the overstimulating tremble in his hands, evened his breathing out, eyes slipping shut to savor the quiet, tuning in his listening to see if he could place you somewhere in the house.

He spotted you from the entryway into the living room, curled up into the corner of the couch, throw blanket haphazardly thrown over your lap, a book you had been reading to keep you awake was about to fall onto the floor.

His heart ached at the sight of you. It was dimly lit in the house, your chest was rising and falling signaling you had been out for a bit. He crept towards you, removing the blanket and brushing his hand over your forehead, fingers rubbing into your scalp to lightly wake you.

As your eyes slowly peeled open and you saw his large doe eyes crinkling as he smiled at you, one hand on your head, the other on your knee, rubbing small circles into the fabric of your pajama pants, you smiled back tiredly and groaned.

Your hand pushed through his messy curls, moving them from his forehead as you spoke. “Hi bug,” he chuckled as your sleep riddled voice broke the silence of the room, the first time he’d heard your sound in person in weeks.

“Hi mouse,” he leaned forward, setting his lips on yours in a kiss that was normally far too gentle for him, but seemed perfect in the moment. Your fingers cradled his jaw as he slowly moved his mouth on yours.

As he pulled back you let your hand rest in its spot and slightly pouted at the boy. “‘M so sorry, bug. I tried to stay up,” he shook his head, lips landing on your forehead. “Don’t apologize, mama. Our flight was delayed getting in. It’s already almost two. C’mon, let’s go to bed, yeah?”

You nodded, getting up from the couch, wrapping your arms around his neck, breathing in deeply as his arms enclosed around your waist, holding you for just a second. “Missed you, mama,” his murmured voice was muffled by his head moving to the nook of your neck.

Your hands traveled from his neck up to his head, tangling your fingers in the locks and sighing at the happiness coursing through you as you held him.

The two of you stayed like that for longer than you thought, just drinking in one another, willing time to stay like it was just you two in the world. In the world you two had created together, it was just you two. It was always just you two.

As you opened the front door to the house, music shook the walls and the sound of pans clattering in the kitchen created a ringing in your ears that had a smile creeping onto your face.

It had been a long day at work and all you wanted to do was get home to your boy since he had been gone for so long. The noise that rattled through the rooms leading you to him was what you had craved since his departure. It meant your other half was there and present with you.

When you turned the corner and saw him in the kitchen, dirty dishes piled high in the sink, but two plates of food sitting at the dining room table, the scene made you laugh. His back was to you, not knowing that you had arrived home because of how loud the music was.

His mop of curls bopped along to the song playing through the speakers and his soft voice whispered under his breath with the lyrics.

“You know you are the only person I know who needs to use every single pan we own to make dinner?” He startled at your presence, almost dropping the bottle of wine he held in his hands, but his rosy cheeks lifted with his smile at you.

“Shit, mama. Don’t scare me like that. C’mon, come sit. I made your favorite dinner. Don’t look at the kitchen, I’ll clean later,” he approached you, arms wrapping around you and pulling you to him. You drank him in as your lips connected, savoring the fleeting moment before he led you to your seat.

You stared at him the entire time through the meal. Candles illuminated the room as he spoke, dancing on the walls and basking his shadow in a fitting glow. It was like watching a show on the far wall as his movements cast onto it.

His hand wrapped around your own and pulled it to his lips after he finished another story from the few weeks they had been gone. “I love you,” you spoke it out as he eyed you, eyes gleaming at your words. He pulled you from your chair and onto his lap, nuzzling his face into your neck, eyes slipping shut and breathing you in.

“I love you more. Tell me about the writing you’ve done while I was gone,” he spoke in a quieter tone, signaling to you that it was your turn to fill the space as he sat back and listened like it was the last story he would ever hear.

Your tears had stopped as the morning sun took over your face, finally peeking from behind the hills. Thinking back on the times you two had shared made you think of the last time you had heard Josh say those three words to you. You couldn’t remember the last time he had.

Cringing at the words he had spoken to you insead last night. Reality felt like it was hurtling towards you at a pace you were not prepared to deal with. It was slapping you across the face and the stinging sensation was what told you that this was real and happening.

Even though you never hoped it would.

Josh moved around the stage like it was where he was meant to be. Fans screamed his name, shouting how much they loved him and you smiled as you heard it. Who couldn’t love Josh?

As the show finished you made your way backstage to meet up with him and his brothers and smiled as you saw him already changed and waiting for you. His adrenaline was always at an extreme high after a show and he used you to ground him, get him back to normal.

His hands found home on your hips as he attacked you with kisses, not bothering to say hi, letting his actions do that for him. Your laughter echoed in the space as he continued kissing you anywhere he could reach.

“God, you guys, knock it off. I’m not drunk enough to deal with this right now,” Sam groaned as he walked past you two, but Josh flipped him off as he went by. “You enjoy the show? You feeling alright?” Josh’s voice was low so only you could hear him, thumbs brushing over your cheeks as you nodded your head, lightly pecking his lips.

“It was great, sweetie. You were great. I’m good,” his lips landed on the tip of your nose as he nuzzled his face into the side of your neck, lips coming to the shell of your ear. “The boys want to go to a bar. You wanna go?” You knew he wanted to, which was why he brought it up and you were still feeling antsy after the energetic show and agreed quickly, seeing his face light up.

You were tucked into Josh’s side in the booth and were two drinks in for the night and about to stop with anymore as the night continued on. Conversation bounced around the space between the group and you sat contently, listening to everyone shout over each other before eyes fell on you.

“What do you do? I don’t think you’ve ever told me.” One of the newer tour members spoke out over everyone and you smiled at his question, clearing your throat to speak up louder than you were used to.

“I’m just a librarian,” his eyes squinted as he smiled at your response, but Josh spoke up quickly. “Just a librarian? Her job is so important for society as a whole. The library she works for relies on her for everything, she runs the entire place,” he leaned forward on the table as he continued speaking, your heart fluttering as he spoke so passionately about your job. “Do you know all the programs that a single library runs? It’s absolutely mind boggling and she does it all.”

Josh continued talking about your position for the rest of the night before it was time to go, enlightening the group to the true meaning of what being a librarian was.

When you two got home that night, he eyed you in bed and sighed. “Baby? I want to talk to you about tonight,” you felt your stomach sink at his words. What happened? Had you done something?

“I don’t like hearing you talk down on yourself or your job the way you do. I know you try to play it off like it’s nothing, but it really is important. It’s a part of you that you love and that I most definitely love and I don’t want to hear you talk down about it, okay? If you’re too nervous or whatever about it, then I will. I don’t want you to think I’m embarrassed about what you do or you because that’s not the case now and it never will be. I love what you do and I love you.”

You were speechless at his words, not having realized before how upset those actions had made him. You were only able to nod in response before he kissed you and had you lying flush with him, head resting on his chest listening to his steady breathing as he quickly fell asleep after the day he had.

You loved him and everything that came with him and he loved the same about you.

Sitting in the driveway you stared at the house, fear pummeling you at having to go inside and face what was about to happen. Your hands shook tremendously and you could feel bile rising in your throat as you opened the door and stepped in.

You took a moment to listen to the house, trying to get your heart rate down, but ultimately failing as you heard movement in the living room. Exhaling a shaky breath you made your way towards him, knowing he would be waiting for you.

When he came into view, his hair was a disheveled mess and his back was facing the entryway. He hadn’t slept, you could easily tell. He heard your footsteps enter the room and he quickly turned to face you, eyes rimmed red and bloodshot, exhaustion clear on his face.

“Jesus, thank god. Where the hell were you? You were gone all night and had me fucking panicking. What is going on? You just left,” he stood up from the couch and tried reaching for your hand, but you took a step back and put your own up to stop him.

His demeanor shifted at your movement and stopped in his spot as he eyed you, confusion evident in his eyes. “I came out to talk to you and you were just gone. Jake said you went to take a breather,” he lowered his voice to a quieter tone to match the level you were giving.

It felt like you were staring at the old Josh again. The one you had fallen madly in love with all those years ago and who you had built the perfect little world with. The one you swore you were going to build a solid life with. The one who made you feel like you were the only person in the world when you were with him. It felt like it was him.

You cleared your throat, voice wavering as you spoke. “Josh, I think we need to take a break,” you attempted to keep your voice still and not break as the words left your mouth. You had thought about it all night and you knew this was the only way to go forward because it wasn’t the same anymore and you weren’t sure it would ever be the same again.

His eyes widened, tears forming as the sentence settled over the room. “What?” His voice was barely a whisper and would have fallen on deaf ears, but you heard. You always heard.

“I think we need to take a break. I don’t think this-” you motioned between the two of you, standing on opposite sides of the room, but might as well have been on opposite sides of the world, “is working anymore, Josh.” You felt your eyes burning, knowing fresh tears were threatening to fall.

He didn’t make a move, didn’t tear his eyes away from your figure, didn’t breathe as he responded. “What?” Was all he could respond with, knowing his brain wouldn’t function with more thoughts other than that.

Your eyes fell downcast to the floor, looking at your sock clad feet and sniffled before continuing.

“I don’t know what changed, but something changed. You don’t treat me the same anymore. Last night you said you were embarrassed of me,” your eyes flashed up to see how he reacted to your words, tears spilling down your face and his as you willed yourself to continue.

“I am so sorry that I am not a social butterfly, honest to god I am so sorry. I want to be that for you, I try, I promise I do, but it’s not me. That’s you. The energy you bring to everything's amazing and I love it so much, but I am not you. I am quiet and reserved and I used to think that was what you loved about me, but damn it I’m watching you start to resent me for it, Josh,” you were talking quickly, words spilling out of your mouth as your thoughts raced.

“I think you need someone better suited for you because I don’t think it’s me anymore. You don’t invite me out with the group anymore, you didn’t want me to go to the event last night and when I was there you didn’t even look my way all night. Do you know the last time you said I love you to me? It was a month and two weeks ago and I don’t think you love me anymore. I don’t want you to feel stuck with me because that’s not fair to either of us.”

As you finished, trying to catch your breath as tears continued their track down your cheeks, you looked at him. He had no expression on his face as he listened intently to you, hanging on every word you said.

“You don’t think I love you anymore?” He spoke out after a beat, voice cracked and broken as he spoke out in disbelief that he was even saying those words to you. In response, you shook your head, looking back down at the floor.

“I think you did. I do, but I think you’ve outgrown me, Josh. I think we are just too different,” he moved quickly around the room, putting his shoes on and grabbing his keys off the counter, and moving towards the door, grabbing your own shoes before coming back to face you.

“You need to come with me,” he crouched in front of you, putting your shoes on and grabbed your hand and pulled you with him out the door. “Josh, I’m not going anywhere with you right now,” you stopped as he got to the car, but he rushed back around and stood in front of you and took in a shaky breath, hands clearly trembling as he spoke.

“I need you to just come with me, baby, please. I have to show you something and I swear after if you think I don’t love you anymore then we can figure out what we need to do, but please, just come with me,” he was begging, his eyes were filled with fear, chin wobbling as he spoke.

You nodded and got in the passenger seat, Josh hurrying to get you to where he needed to take you.

The ride there was silent, he fought the urge to grab your hand in his own, eyes attempting to take in your features and keep watch of the road as he drove. You sighed as you saw the recording studio come into view, this being the last place on earth you wanted to be.

You reluctantly got out and followed him into the empty building, sitting where he told you to sit and eyeing him as he moved to do what he needed to.

He turned and faced you, eyes scanning your face and noticing the irritation and sorrow flashing across your features. “I lied to you,” your eyebrows knit together at his confession.

“I lied to you for months and I am so sorry. We weren’t going out on the nights where I would leave. We were coming here. Every single night for months. I didn’t tell you because I knew you would be worried about the amount of hours I was working. I was here when everyone else wasn’t because I needed everything just right. I needed the most important thing I have ever written to be perfect because it needed to be for you. I obsessed over it and lost sleep over it and fought with my brothers over it because no matter what we did I just couldn’t fucking get it right. I wanted it to be as perfect as you and that just isn’t possible, but damn if this isn’t as close as we could get,” you watched as he spoke so fast he was tripping over his own words, hands going wild as he acted out them out, eyes bouncing around the room as he tried to explain it to you.

His hand hit something on the board in front of you both and when music started playing, your thoughts went quiet. The buzzing of your mind ceased and you were able to solely focus on what was playing through the room.

It was simply the most beautiful thing you had ever heard written from Josh and his thoughts. Pure art that he made into musical formation in a way you would never understand. In a way that he did just for you.

You had never heard anything like it before and as it came to an end and you turned slowly to look at him, he dropped to his knees directly in front of you, hands splaying across your thighs as he started talking again, tone back to quiet to speak in a way that he only ever did for you.

“I fucked up and I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have lied to you and left you like I did. I neglected you for months and I made you think I didn’t love you anymore and I will never be able to apologize enough for that,” his hands moved up to cradle your face, hands still shaking as he did, tears falling down both of your cheeks, “but I do love you. More than you will ever know. I love how quiet you are and how reserved you are, I swear I love that about you. I said things to you last night that I absolutely should have not said, but I am not embarrassed of you.”

His eyes fell down as he shook his head, whispering out as he spoke. “I was jealous of you and Danny. Time got away from me and when I realized that, he had already swooped you up and it pissed me off a lot more than it should have, but I wanted to walk you around. Do you know how breathtaking you looked last night and he got to show you off, not me,” you let a wet laugh bubble from your lips as he chuckled through his own tears and the stupidity of the situation.

“You know that I get caught up in the heat of the moment and that happened last night and I am sorry. I love that you listen to me talk for hours on end about literally nothing, that when I’ve had an overstimulating day which is more often than not, I can come home to the peaceful sanctuary that you crafted for us, and I love that you think before you speak because god knows I don’t,” his thumbs brushed the tears off your face as he kissed the tip of your nose, your hands locking around his wrists, eyes closing as he did.

“I love the look you get on your face when you’re concentrating on something and your tongue pokes out. You know what I love the most about you? That you’re my opposite. I need that, I need you. I love you so much, mouse, more than anything and I am so sorry.” The panic in his tone had him speaking quickly, stumbling over his words, trying to get everything out before you spoke back to him.

His eyes remained shut as he rested his forehead against yours, shaking his head as he held you to him. “I will spend the rest of my life telling you how much I love you because you have to know that I love you.”

Your eyes searched for his as they reopened, taking you in as you nodded your head, hands rubbing his forearms as you finally spoke back.

“Let’s start with today first,” a breath he didn’t know he had been holding exhaled from his lungs, crashing his lips onto yours in a desperate and frightened manner, before pulling back with a small laugh.

“I need to communicate better. You’d think with how much I talk I’d be better at that.” Your laughter mixed with his as it echoed off the walls, head tipped back as he refused to take his hands off of you, not wanting to let you go for a second.

When you two got home, Josh didn’t hesitate to take you to your shared room and climb under the covers together, pure exhaustion pulling you both into sleep after the events of the last day. You laid there, completely still, as you listened to his breathing even out as he held you. His heartbeat was steady, arm heavy around you, nose in your hair as he drifted off to sleep.

Your fingers tangled with his as you let the silence of the space enclose around you. Silence was your friend and had been for most of your life. It was always a welcome presence for you, but not as much as he was.

His energy and noise that traveled with him like a second being was what you craved every single day. He was what you craved. Your polar opposite.

#ficthots #josh kiszka #joshua kiszka #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fan fiction #josh kiszka fanfiction #josh kiszka imagine #josh kiszka fanfic #greta van fleet imagine #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka x you #josh kiszka x y/n #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner

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inlocusmads · 6 months

Text

Art credits: @/annalaura_art on Instagram

choices fandom shoutouts- day one @choicesfandomappreciation

Honestly it's been like.. more than a year since I joined the Tumblr fandom and I had some of the best time with a lot of people and I want to try and bring some of them up here now!

@cassie-thorne Max you're literally one of the first persons I talked to and I think you're super cool (scratch that, you're the coolest). Your art is just one of the best (open up shop, seriously, I'll pay five kidneys) and I just love how we used to geek out every Wednesday. (They aren't Wednesdaying anymore lmao). You're literally one of the nicest people ever and I still read some of your old comments because it's just chaos and just so much love and happiness. Thank you for being an active person in the fandom because I don't know how I'll ever get through the Crimes, Blades brainrot alone.

@jerzwriter Jerz, argh I absolutely love your thoughtful comments and your insight into things! And your writing - damn! You have this beautiful way with words with respect to dialogue and it's so witty and clever and just downright amazing. I've yet to catch up with a lot of your stuff lol, I'll definitely use my upcoming days off to do just that.

And plus - just impeccable music taste lol. I might actually get into Noah Kahan and suspend down forty feet into listening to Stick Season over and over and over again XD! I've always admired your way of handling things - be it with fandom BS or just life in general. It is just so fricking admirable, I'll be taking notes lmaoo thank you for staying in the fandom despite everything and thank you for continuing to maintain this extensive library CFWC of works with @lucy-268 in the fandom. It's tough work! I just heavily heavily appreciate it. (Now go play Blades! Trust me it's worth it!)

@mydemonsdrivealimo MJ! You have literally one of the best art styles - hands down and I just absolutely love the amount of thought you put into Jensen. You actually have inspired me to put out my own HCs out there, get past that reluctance. Jensen being ace might have actually made me feel so much better about writing ace characters too, because apart from a couple of ace MCs who were pretty unknown so to speak, it was kind of lonely. The queer discussions we have within our fandom has honestly inspired me to step out of my "shell" and talk about it more.

I also want to take a moment to shout out @peonyblossom and @gutsfics too because just talking about queerness through mediums such as fics and art and metas helps so much and makes people feel a little less alone. I also want to send another shoutout towards @jaredkau for their Aromantic!Tobias headcanon and Tobias and Ethan in this QPR which makes me just lose my mind in the best way possible. And can I just say I love reading your lil headcanons so freaking much?? Like?? They're just so good - they're silly, they're fluffy, angsty and just downright queer and it's given me a lot of encouragement to write more queer pairings. I've always had this plaguing doubt about depicting LGBTQIA+ because I'd think, "Man even though I'm queer, I don't think I can do a good job of it" and now it's gone with the wind <333 Thank you so much for this!

@lilyoffandoms Such a positive figure in this fandom, I'm so glad you pop up on my dash with your fics, boosts of encouragement and art! I think Lily's works were some of the first things I read on this blog - with the whole Crimes hyperfixation thing and I absolutely fell in love with their writing style and it's like y'know this subtle, clever way that you just catch onto the subtext faster than any of the idiots (affectionate) who are completely oblivious about each other's feelings. Thank you for being here, Lily!

@lovealexhunt Dani, thank you for lighting up my inbox with just the most beautiful positivity messages. They actually do help a lot! It gives me a reason to just take care of myself. Thank you for all your blood, sweat and tears aha on @choicesbookclub because you've just built this beautiful little town square for people to chime in their thoughts. It feels like Old Choices back again when I'd just come on Tumblr and scroll through what people are thinking about the latest chapter. Seriously, you do so much for the fandom, you might as well be its actual engine and it has brought so many people together. I don't think I'd have known some of the people I know here without you bringing the fandom into one collective space. Thank you so much for just about everything, even though thank you is literally the understatement of the century. I'm just eternally grateful to have been accepted and included.

@cariantha Honestly like - the TALENT? Ma'am save some for the rest of us XD! I remember coming across Cari's Pictagram series of her OH MC, Sawyer and my jaw dropped - like the edits were just absolute killer. Banger after banger. And her fics - omg - especially the one where they're stuck in an elevator and Ethan still manages to throw her this Valentine's Day party; argh, it has my heart. Just fluffy goodness. Cari's just too good man, too freaking good. Thank you for encouraging me to come back to OH, even though I'm still a bit iffy on that ground lol - maybe I'll do a replay and start from scratch, who knows?

I want to give a quick shout-out to writers whose works I NEED to get on! @starsarewithinme and @moominofthevalley because y'all are the reason why the Crimes tag isn't just completely dead XD and I'd love to get to your writing as soon as I can. @peonierose because I miss Bryce and Luna and their adorable little family so much. I hope you're doing well Peonie <3 @aallotarenunelma - it has been a long time and I'd love to dive right back into your It Lives works and it's literally some of the best, poetic, most evocative writing I've ever come across, ever. @starlight-starfury I HAVE to get to your Tyril x MC works and they're so freaking good! You just capture the "whipped"-ness of Tyril's character so well. Thank you for that!

Honestly there are a lot of people, I'll admit. I might even have to make a part two for the 'I'll-give-Da-Vinci-a-run-for-his-money' artists and 'baby-girl-i-can-invent-new-angsty-scenarios-you've-never-even-heard-of' writers that I missed out on in this post. But thank you for the wildest, chaotic and the kindest - if I can describe it that way - ride ever. I'm so grateful to be a part of this clan of people and we just gush out over pixellated people and make up our own stories because PB doesn't do that (okay enough PB jibes lol). Thank you so much for being at the very heart of the fandom, keeping this alive. You are all just downright amazing people and amazing is such an understatement. I hope you guys know that.

#choices fandom shoutouts #choices fandom positivity

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unholy-obeyme · 2 years

Note

I have another angsty idea for you.

It’s a replaced!AU. But the twist is that the new exchange student isn’t evil or anything.

It’s just that when they arrived, the brothers drifted towards them, leaving MC behind.

And so, one night MC goes to the black lake to just sit down and think about the past.

I got the idea by listening to Heather by Conan Gray

Why, I was literally just getting over the au-

I shall make it the student x mc just for mine and y’all’s comforts-

HOW BAD WERE WE

HEATHER

Genre: Angst to fluff, Replaced! Mc au

Ships: exchange student x mc, brothers x mc, dateables x mc

Warnings: angst, being left behind, abandonment, being neglected, if I left something let me know please <33

You walked to the little lake that was meant to be your little spot you always walked to when you felt overwhelmed and sad and this? This was one of those moments where you felt drained, emotionally and physically and mentally. You grabbed your phone and selected a song that was your comfort song, plugged in your headphones and put them in your ear and closed your eyes and started singing.

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater

You said it looked better on me than it did you

Only if you knew how much I liked you

But I watch your eyes as she

Walks by

What a sight for sore eyes

Brighter than the blue sky

She's got you mesmerized while I die

It all started three months ago. Diavolo had announced the arrival of a new student whose name was Heather. They had peach skin, mesmerising brown eyes and pink lips and a smile that shone brighter than the sun. They had freckles all over their face and always wore comfortable and cozy clothes. You remembered their smile, that was directed at you, oh how beautiful… I guess the everyone else liked them too….

You slowly felt left out. It was always

“sorry Mc, I have plans with heather”,

“if you have something say it fast Mc, I need to spend time with heather”, or

“Isn’t heather just adorable Mc?”

“They are so much more nice and fun”

“They are so pleasant to read with”

“I’m going to sleep with heather for the night Mc, you don’t mind right? Of course you don’t”

“Actually I’m taking heather to the new restaurant Mc, I’ll take you later”

“Isn’t heather amazing Mc? I wish I summoned them here before!”

“How’s everything heather? Is Mc treating you right?”

“You make just the perfect person for these potions heather”

“You are so nice to talk to heather”

“Let’s go bake some treats heather! Oh, I’ll bake with you later Mc.”

You closed your eyes and let the tears flow through, people were staring, possibly with pity but you didn’t care. You continued letting your feelings out as you sang with the music.

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half as pretty

You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester

But you like her better

Wish I were Heather

Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand

Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder

But how could I hate her? She's such an angel

But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she

Walks by

What a sight for sore eyes

Brighter than the blue sky

She's got you mesmerized while I die

You felt broken, to say the least, it was hard watching your favourite people drift away from you. Did they even love you? Were you nothing but a passing fancy for them? A truck where they could unload all their mistakes on? Maybe you were. You tried to remember all those happy memories but all you remembered were the ones where you suffered for them. Were you even happy at all? You wiped your tears and looked up at the sky. It looked like it was about to rain. It was then a certain person joined you.

“You know it’s about to rain, right?” “Why do you care?” “Cause i care about you? Isn’t that obvious?” “Whatever” you rolled your eyes at them. “Hey, are you crying?” “No.” “Mc, please talk to me…” “can’t you go? Everyone might be worried since their “golden human” is missing” “actually, they were worried about you mc.” “Bullshit.” Heather sat behind you and hugged you. “Let me be won’t you?” “No. Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” You merely sniffed and looked into the river. “I guess you don’t wanna talk…. Here, let me share my coat with you.” “Do as you wish.”

You both just stared into the river as the song played in the background. Heather looked at you every now and then with pure concern in their eyes. They hugged you closer as the rain fell on both of you. “I’m sorry.” “Hmm?” “It’s because of me isn’t it…. All this is happening just because I arrived… you feel left out, you feel used because of me isn’t it?” You stayed quiet. They merely hugged you and tucked your head under their chin. “I just wanted to get to know you Mc. Not them.” “Huh?” “Yea, I liked you and I still do. Infact, I think I like you even more now, will you….” You looked up and pressed a light kiss to their lips. “I like you too. Ever since you came… guess I was mad as I felt left behind I guess.” “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I should’ve talked to you…” “it’s fine. Let’s just forget this. Forget them.” “True. Let’s be with each other instead.” They said and smiled down at you. “By the way, you have a really nice voice” “you heard?” “Of course, everyone did. Even made some people shed a tear or two.” “Wow.” “So… wanna go back home?” “No. I want to be away from them for the moment.” “I understand.” And like that you both stayed in the rain, while the song played in the background.

I wish I were Heather

(Oh, oh)

Wish I were Heather

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half as pretty

You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester

But you like her better

Wish I were...

#obey me x mc #obey me #<33 #answers #asmodeus #barbatos #beezlebub #belphegor #diavolo #Solomon #Simeon #Luke #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #Satan #obey me angst #replaced mc au #obey me replaced mc au

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buckysimp101 · 1 year

Text

Everything the Light Touches (18+) - Chapter Fourteen

Mafia!Bucky x F!Reader

chapter warnings: language, smoking, angst (obvs, and boy is it angsty.)

a/n: in response to last chapter: Bucky Barnes is a dummy. a well and true dummy. now let’s see some of the fallout.

Series Masterlist

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck. You let him kiss you. You let. James Buchanan Barnes. Kiss you. I thought we were mad at him!? What’s going on!? You let him. Kiss you. After he told the whole world you were engaged! After he told you that you would get to choose when and how the announcement took place. That was a public claiming!!! Are you even listening to your internal monologue right now!?!? Hellooooooooo!?!?!?

No. No you were not listening to your internal monologue. You were too busy focusing on two pillow soft lips moving against yours instead of your brain firing all sorts of warning signs to stop. That is until Bucky ended the kiss with a light peck and began to lean back, both your chests heaving as if coming up for air after a deep dive into the ocean. Yeah the ocean that is Bucky Barnes’ eyes, holy fuck they’ve gotten bluer. A small shake of your head brought you back to reality. In fact it brought you back to reality at lightning speed. You broke apart as quickly as you could without looking suspicious but continued to stare at Bucky just a little longer. He looked just as confused as you if not a little…needy? No that can’t be right.

Another beat of silence and Bucky cleared his throat and wrapped his arm around your waist, tugging you into his tight hold his thumb rubbing light circles on your hip, causing you to hold back a full body shiver. People were starting to come up and congratulate the two of you left and right. Your brain was running a mile a minute and cycling through every emotion possible until Natasha came up and spoke.

“Alright alright, let’s give the lovebirds some space. I’m sure you’ll be able to talk to them some other time. Let them enjoy their night, move along folks. Move along,” as she ushered people away from the two of you Bucky moved his hand to gingerly take yours and started walking the two of you towards the VIP section. Two more steps and you would have made it if it wasn’t for the six foot plus golden retriever of a brick wall blocking your path with his arms folded over his chest.

Steve had a look on his face, one that you couldn’t quite read but it was one that brought Bucky to a screeching halt. An almost imperceptible shake of his head had bucky guiding you towards the back entrance of The Underworld instead of the VIP section as he muttered something under his breath that sounded eerily like “crazy fucking person” as he pulled out his phone to send a text.

Within seconds of walking out the back door of The Underworld, Peter was there with the car to take the two of you back to the apartment. When the door shut to the car Bucky dropped your hand, the illusion that you two were a happy and oh-so-in-love couple finally dropping. The two of you rode home in silence with only the light music of Peter’s choosing playing in the background. You could practically hear Bucky’s teeth grinding and you chanced a look up at him once or twice, noticing his focus was solely on the streets of Manhattan slipping by and nowhere else.

So you sat. And you stewed. You stewed in the annoyance and irritation of Bucky going off-script and telling everyone at the club that the two of you were engaged. You stewed in the confusion of your body’s reaction to the kiss. It had been over ten years since Bucky had kissed you last and while you knew you were going to have to kiss him at least once or twice during your marriage you didn’t expect it to come that early. And. You stewed in the sadness of a life that had passed. A life of love and joy that seemed so far fetched in your current reality that you had to brush your hand over your eye to remove an escaped tear. But you sat in the silence. And walked through the threshold of your home with Bucky without saying a word, Alpine being the only one to say anything as she greeted the two of you with a chirping meow.

Bucky shut the door behind the two of you and stood there in uneasy silence. You were certain he was getting ready to dismiss you and head off to his room, when he surprised you. Bucky reached out slowly to take your hand and guided you to the living room to sit on the couch. You thought he was going to take the seat next to you, but he surprised you again. Bucky Barnes knelt to the ground in front of where you sat ever so slowly making sure to look you in the eyes the whole time. Your breathing hitched as you watched him to sink to your eye level but that was nothing compared to what he did next. Bucky cleared his throat, and spoke softly but firmly as he looked you in the eyes.

“Y/N, there are many things that I have needed to do for the last ten years, and especially these last couple weeks, that I have been too weak to do. But that ends tonight because I’ve consistently fucked up in a way that I’m not certain will ever deserve your forgiveness. But I need to do this. And I hope, that when I’ve said what I need to say, that we can at least go through this marriage as friends. That doesn’t have to start right away, but that is my end goal.”

You swallowed hard, taking in Bucky’s words and realizing what he was getting ready to do. He was still kneeling in front of you, waiting you to give him the go ahead to continue, so you nodded slowly and he took a deep breath, eyes closed, before continuing.

“Y/N L/N, I need to apologize first and foremost. For ten years ago, and all the years that have passed without an apology or explanation. I know it’s not enough to say that I was a kid, hardly an adult, but that’s what I was. I was a kid that was scared of the threats your parents made and how it would affect my family. Ivan had just been killed not long before and we were still dealing with the fallout of that. We’d also learned not long before the meeting with your parents that Pierce and his men were behind it,” you inhaled sharply and felt the burn of tears grow in your eyes as you took in what Bucky was saying. The knowledge that your best friend’s father had been murdered by someone your family was connected to burned even more.

Bucky looked to you to make sure you were okay before continuing, “for some reason, I thought that by leaving you and listening to your parents that I would be able to keep all those I loved safe. Natasha, Steve, my ma and dad, and you. I thought that it would keep you safe. There was a part of me that was also angry.” His voice was trembling and his hands shaking by his side, you could see the emotions on his face and hear them bubbling up in his voice, so you reached your hand out slowly to grab his with a reassuring squeeze and he continued.

“But my anger was misplaced. Because a part of me was angry with you. The way your parents spoke about your role in their plan, it made it seem like you were involved. Like you had knowledge of their connections with Pierce, like you knew who had killed Ivan Romanoff and like you knew we were only temporary. And I took it at face value. And for that I am so sorry. I am so sorry for immediately believing your parents. For not going to my own father to try and figure out the truth, hell for not going to YOU. I’m sorry for practically forcing you into exile. If I had spent just a little bit of time and energy finding out the truth I would’ve saved you from years of heartbreak and resentment. I had no right to be angry with you since I never tried to learn the truth from you. I shouldn’t have made Steve, Sam and Natasha leave you in the dust. But at the time it felt like the only way I could save us.” His voice cracked and you swore you saw tears beginning to well up in his eyes as you felt your own beginning to spill over.

Bucky pulled his hand out of your grip for a moment to brush them away with his thumb. The feel of Bucky’s hand on your face sent electricity shooting through your body but you tried not to focus on that sensation as he moved his hand to cup your chin.

“And somewhere in my mind, I thought I was saving you too. Your parents not only threatened me and my family if I didn’t leave you but they threatened you as well. They told me they would make your life hell. And I believed them. I threatened them right back though. I told them if I found out that they’d hurt you in any way I would burn their entire world to the ground. Little did I know, I’d hurt you. Me. All thanks to them. And all thanks to my own stupidity. And I know I can never apologize enough for that. But I need to. I need you to know how much my heart has hurt ever since that day. And it’s mostly my own fault. I know that. But I have not had a moment of peace this past decade because my thoughts were constantly plagued by the fact that I hurt you. And that I would never get to tell you why. Or apologize. So in this moment, Y/N, I want to apologize. But I also want you to know how grateful I am to have this opportunity to apologize. And while it came with a massive ‘but’ I will do the best I can to try and make everything up to you. In some shape or form.”

You waited for Bucky to catch his breath, his own tears starting to spill over slightly and you focused your attention to the tracks they were making down his cheeks. When you spoke you could tell it wasn’t what Bucky was expecting.

“Join me on the balcony for a smoke?”

Bucky looked at you, confusion evident in his eyes as he slowly nodded and moved out of the way to allow you space to get off the couch. You reached into your purse on the side table to grab your cigarettes and lighter and followed Bucky outside.

The night was quiet, well as quiet as night in the city that never sleeps can get. You offered a cigarette to Bucky who accepted it and your light with care before pulling it to his lips as you mirrored his movements. The two of you stood on the porch in silence for a moment, carefully flicking ash off the end of your cigarette before turning to face him once more.

“I’m partially inclined to accept your apology, James. But I have a question of my own. Namely, if you have felt so guilty for so long why did you act like such a complete asshole the few times we’ve interacted with each other when I got back to the city?”

You could see the gears turning in Bucky’s head as he thought about his answer, taking a long drag on his cigarette before answering.

“At the time, I hadn’t received proof that you didn’t know about your parents and their plot. When I saw you at the club that first night I was still under the impression that you were involved. And seeing you and Liam together? It felt like the final piece of the puzzle falling into place. I acted like a child. I acted like a fucking bully. And I can’t take back my actions or my words. They exist and at the time I said them with full conviction. But I can apologize for them. I thought I was justified in saying what I said when I wasn’t. I was still operating off my preconceived notions. And that was fucking stupid of me. I’m sorry for the things I have said and done recently, Y/N. They never should’ve been said, you can feel free to call me a huge fucking idiot.”

You huffed out a chuckle before taking a drag on your own cigarette and responding, “you’re a huge fucking idiot, James,” Bucky chuckled mirthlessly but allowed you to continue, “and I’m going to be an adult here. I’m going to forgive you.” The words you spoke pulled a visceral reaction from both yourself and Bucky. You could practically feel your heart splintering as you allowed your body to feel all the emotions you’d tried to keep locked up over the years. Bucky was staring wide-eyed, you knew he wasn’t expecting to be forgiven that quickly. But you were fucking tired.

“Just because I’m forgiving you doesn’t mean that you get to quit trying to make it up to me. You fucked up, James. You well and truly fucked up and there’s no getting around that. But I’m giving you a chance to make it up to me. A chance to prove yourself. A chance to prove that you truly were just a dumbass of a nineteen year old who thought that ghosting the love of his life was the best decision. Because you lost me in the decision, James. But I lost my best friends. A family that loved me. The man I loved and thought I'd make my own family with one day. And you have to work to reach your end goal of us becoming friends again. Because I’m not going anywhere until Pierce and all his men are gone. We have a lot of work to do. But I’m willing to put in the work. The question is, are you?”

You leveled Bucky with your best. “Stark Industries Lawyer” stare, a stare you’d been told could probably level whole fucking towns if you tried. He gulped, audibly and visibly gulped, before nodding his head in affirmation and responding, “I am. And I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I don’t deserve your willingness to work on this. And I probably never will. But I will do my fucking damndest to change that. I really am so sorry Y/N.” You could tell he was speaking sincerely and you opened your mouth to respond when you were cut off by a banging knock on the front door echoing on the balcony. Your gaze locked with Bucky’s as he hastily put out his cigarette and sprinted into the apartment, you snuffed out yours and did the same. As you approached him you realized that Bucky had scooped up Alpine on his way to the coffee table and thrust the small white cat in your direction as he retrieved a pistol and nodded his head towards the closet, a nonverbal cue for you to take Alpine and hide. You were scurrying towards the closet and he was walking slowly to the front door, gun raised, when the knocking started again, this time accompanied by a loud voice yelling.

“JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES IF YOU DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR I WILL HAVE YOUR FATHER KICK IT DOWN!”

Winnifred Barnes. Winnifred Barnes was threatening to kick down the door to your penthouse apartment. You and Bucky breathed out twin sighs of relief as he went to unchain and open the front door for his parents. Winnie’s eyes widened as she saw Bucky standing before her, laying the gun on the entry table, before she turned around the George and practically screech-whispered, “HE PULLED A GUN ON HIS MOTHER. DID YOU SEE THAT GEORGE!?”

“Ma, come inside. All I heard was a banging on the door, not your voice. I didn’t know who it was. It’s late. Nobody knocks like that late at night,” Bucky started before Winnie was pushing past him into the apartment, George following as he massaged his temples and looked like he’d rather be anywhere else than here.

“Whatever you say James. We need to speak. We heard about your little act at The Underworld,” Winnie began before catching sight of you and Alpine just around the corner. Her features softened slightly before she turned her anger on Bucky again. But George interfered just in time.

“What your mother is trying to say, James. Is that we all know that you had promised Y/N to break the news of the engagement however and whenever she wanted. You forced her hand. You told anyone that would listen tonight that you and her were together without any care of how this might affect her from here on out.”

“I’m sorry, where did you two hear this anyway? Has the news already made it through the rumor mill to your friends orrrrrr-?” Bucky questioned, genuinely trying to understand where and how his parents knew.

“Steven told us. He thought we probably needed to know about this before it ended up on some gossip pages or running through Pierce’s territory,” George spoke somewhat sourly.

You could see Bucky grinding his teeth at the news that Steve had told his parents but a part of you was grateful for Steve watching out for you. You knew that this was Steve’s way of letting George know that something had gotten out of hand and he wanted to make sure you had extra protection if necessary.

“That was practically a PUBLIC CLAIMING JAMES. Your father and I taught you better than that! We taught you to be respectful, caring, and that is the OPPOSITE of what this is!” Winnie was working herself up again, and from where you were standing you were about two seconds from witnessing a Barnes Family Nuclear War. So you made a split-second decision to speak up.

“Jamie didn’t mean it like that!”

The room froze. George and Winnie looking at you curiously. And Bucky looking at you like you’d just proven that unicorns existed. It took you a moment to realize why they were looking at you like that. And then it hit you.

You’d called him Jamie.

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#Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #mafia au #mafia fic #mafia!bucky #mafia!bucky x reader #mafia!bucky x yn #bucky barnes is a dummy #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #everything the light touches #buckysimp101

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cocogrrrl · 10 months

Text

daisies

you find yourself growing close and eventually developing feelings for kenny—a guy you met at a party. you develop hanahaki because of it as well. now, what are you gonna do?

kenny x implied fem!reader but with they/them pronouns (hanahaki au) cw: n/a, just angsty wc: 5064

an: this is part of an sp au where different versions of the reader has hanahaki and is in love with the main three! read the other two parts here!

Hanahaki is a disease something that affects many daily. From a small seed in your lungs, you’ll experience petals and flowers coming out from your mouth. It could take days, weeks, months, or even years to develop. Many hypothesize that it happens because of a love not returned, a love waiting on a bench.

Fortunately, it isn’t something that everyone will experience in their lifetime, although it is common. For those who catch the illness, you only have a few choices to pick from.

First, the sickness doesn’t last because the affection is returned. Many of those who survive this still need to receive medical attention for the healing process, depending on how severe the sickness had become. Many of these people who experience this are bound to live a happy life, though.

Second, you undergo a safe medical procedure that, while cures you, makes you devoid of any sense of love anymore. These operations usually do not pose many health risks, and the survival rate is high.

Lastly, you could just bear the pain, although you will suffocate to death.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You’re in your junior year right now. It’s been a few months since you moved to South Park. You moved over the summer, and now you were a month or two into classes.

The people here were often hit or miss. Rarely some of them hit, like your close friend Wendy, but there were a lot of other people that missed, like a decent population of the town.

You would say that you were adjusting to the place just fine. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t perfect as well. You could handle this place. It felt new and exciting, frankly.

Now, you were preparing for a house party at Tolkien’s. You didn’t know him that well, but you shared some classes with him, and he seemed like a pretty normal guy. Funnily enough, he might be the most normal guy here, even if he was better off financially than most people here.

Wendy was going to pick you up anytime right now, so you sat nearby your door waiting for her. Honestly, you thought she was going to be picked up by her girlfriend, Bebe, but she told you that Bebe had to pick up her friends Red, Lola, and Jenny.

You heard your phone ring as your doorbell did too. It must be Wendy. You opened the door and were greeted by a big hug.

“Hey, YN!” She beamed as she eyed your outfit up and down. “You look amazing! Where’d you get the shoes?”

“Oh, I thrifted it, actually.”

“Woah, we should go do that some time! I’d love to thrift with you.” She said as you walked out the door, double-checking your keys and locking the knob. “It’s great for the environment, plus you might already know some great thrift areas here.”

As you two got in the car, you continued chatting. Be it about music, art, poetry, and of the like, the ride was never quiet. Although you were a relatively approachable person, you didn’t talk a lot. With Wendy, it was the opposite. You found yourself going on long tangents and ranting as she listened happily.

“Really? Edgar Allan Poe?” Wendy mused. She was intrigued by your fascination with the writer during your middle school years. According to her, you didn’t seem like the type of person to enjoy his work.

“Yeah,” you sighed, chuckling at her bewilderment. “I mean, you don’t strike me as an Oscar Wilde enjoyer either.”

“What can I say? I like the simplicity and beauty of his writing.”

“Well, I like Poe’s use of imagery and dark themes.” Like dark and light were you two sometimes. Two sides of the same coin, yet somehow complete opposites.

“We’re here, by the way,” she said as she pulled up by the sidewalk of Tolkien’s house.

“Alright,” you replied, unbuckling your seatbelt as you exited the car.

Though it was just 9 PM, the place was already packed. The place somewhat reeked the smell of weed and alcohol already, and bright, colorful lights swayed and flashed nearly everywhere. Music was blaring, and peoples’ chatters filled the room and blasted your ears. It was an overwhelming atmosphere. You had been there for just 10 minutes, and you already felt like you were about to pass out.

“Hey, Bebe’s already here, so I’m just gonna say hi to then I’ll show you around.” She smiled at you. You answered with a nod, and she headed away in a dash. To keep your head above water, you decided to stand in the middle of a hallway, where it was a lot more quiet—just to ground yourself.

You were leaning back against the wall, minding your own business and calming down from the mess that was earlier. Needless to say, you were overwhelmed.

“Well, I haven’t seen you here,” A voice spoke in front of you. Immediately, you snapped your head up to see who it was. You were confronted with a taller guy sporting a dirty blonde mullet. He didn’t look shabby. No, not at all.

“Are you new here?” He smiled, casually bringing out his hand out for a handshake.

“Well, I’ve been here for a few months already.” You hesitantly shook his hand.

“Then why haven’t I seen a pretty face like yours around here?” You wanted to cringe, but you also wanted to be polite. You were intrigued as well, though. You’ve never been approached like this.

“I, unfortunately, do not go out a lot.” You sighed.

“Hmm… But you seem really familiar.” He paused, deep in thought. “Oh! You’re YN from English class, yeah?”

“You just noticed right now?” You raised a brow, giggling at his slowness.

“Well, sorry, we’ve only had school for a month, and I skip most of my classes. Forgive me if I’m a little slow.” He lightheartedly joked. “Do you know who I am, though?”

“Some guy from my English class, I’d assume.”

“Ouch. A cute person doesn’t know I exist. Ahhh, it hurts.” He placed his hands over his chest, acting as if he was having a heart attack. “The only cure is a kiss on the lips.” He said, fluttering his eyelashes.

“You’re desperate.” You rolled your eyes. “I’m not saving you.”

“On the cheeks?”

“Still no.”

“On the hand?”

“Nope.”

“Anything!” He placed the back of his hand on his forehead. “Woe is me, dearest YN!”

“Do you want my number?” You chuckled, pitying him a little bit. While he does seem a little weird, he was definitely an interesting and fun person to be around. You just have to keep your distance, you figured.

“Why thank you, great YN!” He said, handing you his phone. You chuckled, feeling a little bit embarrassed for him. You put in his number and handed it back to him. He sent a ‘hi’ on his phone, and you heard your phone ring with his number on it. “I’m Kenny if you don’t already know.”

“Huh, nice to meet you then.” You smiled at him—just to be polite, though. “I’m guessing you’ve already had a lot to drink.” You said, smelling the booze and weed off of him. His scent was the entire party.

“You know it, baby.” He winked at you before turning on his heel to head back to the main area of the place. “I’ll see you in English, YN. Byeeeee!” He waved.

You waved back, knowing he wouldn’t turn back to look at you anyways. You didn’t know why, but you seemed to like the guy’s presence. It felt inviting, unlike a lot of the people you’ve met here so far.

“YN!” You hear a voice call you out from the end of the hallway. It was Wendy with Bebe trailing right behind her. “There you are! I’ve been looking around the whole place for you.” She said, grabbing your shoulder.

“Ahh, sorry, Wends.” You apologized, feeling a little guilty for not telling Wendy where you were. “I was overwhelmed by the place, so I needed to find some place a little quieter…”

“That’s alright! You shouldn’t apologize for making yourself comfortable.” She patted your back. “Now let me show you around,” she said, whisking you away from one of the only quiet areas in the mansion.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

That night was a blast. You didn’t drink too much, but you had enough to get you a lot more chattier than usual. Besides Kenny, whom you did not tell Wendy about yet, you met three new people! They were of the names Tweek, Craig, and Jimmy. Tolkien was a part of their friend group, but you couldn’t say hi to him since he was plenty busy getting more ice for everyone.

You also remembered meeting Kenny’s friends last night. Stan, Kyle, and Cartman. You were only really well acquainted with Kyle. You’ve talked to him a few times outside academic matters, so you’ve come to learn that he had a boyfriend, which was the other guy mentioned earlier—Stan, who also happened to be Wendy’s boyfriend for a while.

All this history between a few people interested you, but it also kind of hit you like a truck. This town was built on years of people with deep connections. You had just moved in, and many of these people probably didn’t want you in your group, seeing how they’re comfortable and happy in their cliques. This made you upset at first, but then you realized you were happy to know that there were people who accepted you into their lives wholeheartedly.

You were recalling the events of last night, remembering that Kenny had approached you once more that night.

“So, how are you liking South Park, pretty?” He slid beside you on the couch. Wendy was currently getting drinks for the two of you, so she was currently occupied in the kitchen right now. “Is it good? Bad? I know it's sometimes pretty batshit weird here, but you just gotta trust me when I say-”

“I think I need more time to fully grapple with a single opinion on this place,” you answered, feeling a little dizzy from the alcohol. You didn’t realize it, but you laid your head on his shoulder as you spoke. “There’s a whole lot of niche people in this town. At least that means I can explore it from different angles.”

“Huh…” Kenny didn’t seem to be at all fazed by your touch. In fact, he indulged in it, even going so far as to pat your head. “That’s a very positive outlook—compared to all the other ones I’ve heard from here. I like that.” Really, yours was probably one of the most cheerful views among the town full of negative minds.

“Haha, thanks. You were kinda weird at first, I’ll be honest. Like, earlier in the hallway.” Your bluntness from being tipsy served you an appreciative comment from Kenny, but maybe not anymore. “I think I like you, though, Kenny, or at least I think I will.” You said mindlessly.

“Oh, really? What’ll make you really like me then?” He asked lightheartedly, expecting a dry reply from you.

You leaned back on the couch, removing yourself from the comfort of Kenny’s shoulder, as you looked at Tolkien’s ceiling to think. “Go to class more. If you do, maybe I can get to know you better.”

There was a quiet between you. All Kenny did was nod. While the party was booming and more live than ever, you were up in your little world enjoying the feeling of the alcohol pumping through your body.

That silence was disturbed when Wendy came back and handed your drinks. “Kenny? What are you doing here?” She asked. For a moment, you could tell she seemed slightly annoyed by his presence, but you didn’t ask her about it—not wanting to press on any possible wounds.

“I was just giving them some company.” He said, getting up from the couch. You felt the couch gently rise back to, what you could assume, was its normal state. “I’ll get out of your hair now. See you, YN.” He winked at you as he walked off.

How did you feel about the whole thing? A little weary because of how agitated Wendy seemed when she saw you two beside each other. Of course, it was more logical to trust your close friend over someone you just met. You just wondered why she didn’t like him.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

It was the day after the party. You were in your first subject—English class—and most of the students were absolutely hammered—including you. That didn’t matter, though. You had a blast that night, and you were sure that all the fun you had was worth it.

While waiting for your teacher to come, heard a crash by the front of the classroom. Curious, you looked up, and, to everyone’s surprise, it was Kenny. He scanned the classroom for empty seats and took the one next to you.

“Hey, angel face.” He winked at you. You rolled your eyes and quietly waved at him. Maybe the party brought some bad things as well. It’s not that you hated Kenny, but it’s just that you didn’t want to be flirted with nonstop.

You were currently just doodling in your notebook whatever you thought. Some scribbled-out lyrics and quotes here, some drawings there. “I thought you skipped school often. What happened?”

“I wanted to see you,” he answered, leaning his head on his palm as he watched you write away. He took a glance and saw your notebook. “Hey, is that Bocchi?” He said, pointing to a little sketch you indeed made of the character earlier.

“Yeah,” you said, surprised he knew who it was. Although, you were a little weary of the type of fan he was. “You’ve seen Bocchi the Rock?” You turned your head to him as you dropped your pen, your interest in him being piqued.

Now you’ve certainly got him excited. He lifted his head from his palm and leaned in closer to you. “I recently binged the show with Stan.”

Maybe this was a chance for you to know him outside of the flirty names. You decided to start somewhere simple. “Who’s your favorite character?”

“Hmm…” He sat there, thinking for a split second. “If we’re talking about the people in the band, Ryo, I think. If we’re talking about all of the characters, definitely the drunk bassist girl. She’s cool.”

“Kikuri?” He nodded. “Well, I can’t say I’m too surprised to know that she’s your favorite.” You chuckled.

“Huh? What does that mean?”

You hummed teasingly, continuing to draw in your sketchbook. He kept asking, but you kept prancing over the answer lightheartedly. This wouldn’t go on for long, though, since the class was about to start.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

The whole week was honestly a blast. You and Kenny bonded over your love for animation. You spent time at his place, he spent time at yours, and you two endlessly watched and rewatched a bunch of movies and shows.

He wasn’t much of an artist, but he did have a huge appreciation for animation and art in general. He told you once that it was his little sister who actually sparked his interest in the medium. You found it endearing.

Asides from that, you realized you two were becoming closer. He wasn’t as cheesy as you initially thought, but it was still definitely there nonetheless. Under the surface of pet names and bad pick-up lines was a genuinely positive and charismatic guy underneath all that.

I don’t know, you found him fun to be with, and you were looking to be friends with more people here. Kenny seemed to fill in that role. He seemed like someone you trusted, seeing how you’d already been to each others’ houses. You two grew close, needless to say.

“YN, can I tell you something?” Wendy’s voice snapped you out of thought. You were currently in her room with her and Bebe. She invited you first, and you said no because you thought you’d be intruding on the couples’ time alone, but she insisted for some reason.

“What is it, Wends?”

“Well,” she nervously trailed off. “I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time with Kenny, and while that’s great and all, I need you to know the person he actually is…”

“What do you mean by that?” You replied, a little confused.

“He’s,” she paused, seemingly hesitant to continue. “He’s kinda known to go around flirting with other people.”

“Alright, and?” Now you were confused. Sure, you enjoyed Kenny’s company, but you weren’t entitled to it. “I don’t like like him, Wendy.”

“That may be true, but I’m just looking out for you, okay? Whether you like him or not, I want you to know the type of person he is so you’re aware of the type of people you surround yourself around.”

Wendy made sense, though. Maybe he was a bad person, maybe he wasn’t. Should you start distancing yourself from him? You didn’t want to, definitely, but should you? Could you? You didn’t quite know what to do. You really enjoyed his presence. It felt easy being around him. You felt like you could be yourself around him. Wendy too—no questions asked—but you couldn’t just also rely on her forever. You had to grow at some point.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

That night, you were deep in thought about what Wendy said. Was it even important anyways? Or did you just have nothing to think about? You weren’t sure. You were slumped against the bed, thinking about your choices.

Something caught you off guard, though. You felt something stuck in your throat. You gagged on it, scared of the feeling. Once you got it out, you looked at what it was—a daisy? Why, when, and how on Earth would you have swallowed an entire flower whole?

The next few minutes were wash, rinse, and repeat as more flowers bubbled up your throat and out your mouth. You were terrified, to say the least. Did you eat a daisy seed, and it grew in your stomach? Were you about to turn into one big flower?

There was no way you were telling this to anyone, though, not until you find out what it is. You looked up your symptoms and saw the diagnosis exactly aligned with what was happening to you right now—Hanahaki Disease.

Before you got in bed, though, you continued to look into it a bit more. So, your choices were either to confess, to get surgery, or to let it consume you. Yeah, you wanted to avoid the first two as much as possible.

That all lead up to the question of who was it you had a crush on? You sat there, a little confused. You skimmed through your options until it hit you—it was probably Kenny. Was this what Wendy was warning you about? Chancefully and quite likely as well.

You would just have to wait for tomorrow and see.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Your first subject was English once more. You were currently wearing a mask, just in case you coughed and didn’t catch a petal or flower. You sat in your usual seat, scribbling away in your notebook.

“What’s with the mask, YN? Trying to be edgy or something?” Kenny said from behind you. After that, he took his place beside you.

“I’m actually sick, thank you very much.”

“Oh, well, get soon then.” He casually said, patting your head. “There’s an outdoor cinema showing tonight. I think they’re showing Fantastic Mr. Fox. You wanna go?”

“We just watched that a few days ago.”

“Who says we can’t watch it again?”

You hummed, finding yourself agreeing with him.

You were interrupted by a string of coughs, feeling the many flowers rise. Last night and earlier this morning, they weren’t too bad, yet why now did it seemingly amplify? You excused yourself to the bathroom just to get rid of the flowers, still trying to process the pattern of your flowers’ frequency.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

A little later, it was now lunch. Your mom had packed you some food, so you were by the bleachers of the field watching Wendy and Bebe practice for their upcoming cheer competition.

In your peripherals, you saw Kenny hanging out with a girl. You didn’t pay too much mind to it. I mean, who are you to judge him for having friends? Yet Wendy’s comment from last night seemed to have popped into your head. Should you really be wary of him?

Well, you did have another clue as to what to do as you saw Kenny get closer to the girl. Probably a bit too close for it to be considered friendly. You were confused, though—he never told you about him having a girlfriend. Perhaps Wendy was right.

You felt your throat closing on you again as you started to cough violently. This was the second time today you had flowers sprouting more violently than usual. You sighed, already exhausted from this disease, as you leaned back on the seat behind you.

Seeing how Kenny may or may not have a girlfriend, you began to rethink your choices. You most probably did start to like him, but what are you gonna do about it? Would it be best to confess, or is surgery—and even death—the answer?

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

“Are you ready for our date?” Kenny winked, pulling you out of the door by the arm. You found yourself blushing at his statement.

“Not really, but that is a very bold question to greet me with. I’ll give you that.” You hummed, letting go of his hand that was attached to your arm.

Your night with Kenny was fun. It wasn’t fancy or anything, but it was a very cozy night. You remember it in flashes. From takeout in 7/11 to the actual movie itself, it felt like there was a blurred line between romance and platonic. For you, at least.

You could recall many moments that night where you stared off at Kenny instead, telling yourself ‘You know, I think I’m okay with liking this guy.’ You fully accepted that you liked him.

You remember that, at one point, you were lost in his eyes. Your jaw was slightly agape, your eyes were off in the distance, and you were just focused on him. You hated how smitten he got you in a week or less, yet you also really liked spending time with him. The blame is probably on you.

You could just sit there and stare at him, though. You lost his appearance. The way his hair was always unkempt, the way he was so careless in his outfits yet so stylish, the way freckles littered all over his body, the way you noted the small gap in his front teeth whenever he smiled at you, the way his fingers seem so calloused. You were lost in it all.

“YN?” He called. “YN!” He shooked your body, not with too much force—just enough to snap you back into reality.

“Ah, sorry,” you apologized, shaking your head. “What were you saying?”

“The movie was fun, right?” For a moment, you could’ve sworn that there was a glint of worry in his eyes. Like your opinion actually mattered. You were probably just making things up, though.

“Of course. I mean, it’s not called Fantastic Mr. Fox for nothing, right?” You gave a comforting smile at him, in case by the off-chance what your eyes saw in his was right.

Maybe you were right cause you saw him beam after that. “You’re right. That final fight sequence where there are explosions and stuff will always get me.” He happily taped on the steering wheel of his extremely worn-out car. “You wanna go somewhere else right now, princess?”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Eventually, you knew you had to tell Wendy all about this, though.

“Wendy, I have Hanahaki, and I think it’s because I like—”

“Kenny?” You nodded. “What did I tell you?”

You sighed. It was a few days after your little outing with Kenny. You felt guilty. You should’ve listened to Wendy and gotten away before you had the chance. “Yeah, I’m sorry. You can’t fully blame me, though. I never thought I would like Kenny.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry for being harsh about him.” She pouted, rubbing your back as you buried your face in your hands. “What are you gonna do about it anyway?”

“I wanna try confessing, but I have my doubts. I mean, you’ve seen him with other girls, right?” She nodded. “If ever it doesn’t work, I’m not quite sure what to do…”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure things’ll work out for you.” She smiled hopefully at you. These were not the type of situations it’s easy to maintain hope, but definitely, you knew you could be alright for now as long as you keep your head above water.

“Thanks, Wends.”

“Of course, YN.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

A week went by. You were trying to build up the courage to tell him, but every time you did you were often greeted by someone talking to him first. It was either that or you were too ashamed to show your face to him anymore. You began to keep to yourself instead.

It couldn’t last like this forever, though, at some point, you did have to see some results appear. Kenny was starting to message you more often, and you could feel the worry from his messages. All this for someone you’ve only known for like two weeks?

It was either go all in or go with nothing. Seeing how your life was on the line, you decided it was probably best to confront him. You even asked Wendy about it, to which she was kinda annoyed with how you had even spaced yourself away from him. Thinking about it now, it was kinda stupid.

You called him up on the phone reluctantly. Luckily for you, he answered.

“Hey, Kenny?” You said, your voice much raspier over the week.

“What’s up, YN?” There was a hint of concern in his voice. You had been dodging him a lot recently—it was only right of him to worry.

“Are you busy right now?”

“No, not really. How come?”

“I can’t explain right now.” Your hands were shaking over the phone. Your chest was filling up with nervousness. “Can you meet me behind the school? Like, right now?”

“Alright.”

Minutes later, you found yourself playing with your hands on your lap. With every passing minute, flowers bloomed more and more out of your chest. Before Kenny could arrive, you tried to pull them all out of your mouth.

“What’s the problem, YN?” Kenny suddenly appeared by your side as he slid on the bench you sat on. The distress on his face was greater than you could possibly imagine. To be honest, you felt really guilty for making him feel this way.

“I like you, Kenny.” You said. Straight to the point, easy, quick. Painless, like ripping a bandaid off a wound. The question is if it’ll sting right after.

“I know,” was all he said.

“Huh?” You were confused. How could he possibly have known? Were you just that obvious? “Kenny, I like you a lot. Like, romantically.” You sighed, shaking your head.

Quiet was all you heard. This was new, at least for you. It would always be a little noisy whenever you were with him.

When you looked up at him, you could only see him staring at you, mouth agape like you on that one night. Not in a way that he was astonished by you, no, in a way where he was shocked.

You might as well explain everything while you’re at it. “I developed Hanahaki because of it, and I saw how close you were with others a lot.” You left out the part Wendy told you to stray away intentionally, not wanting him to be offended or anything. “I figured why even try to confess if it seemed like you were going to reject me anyway?”

“What made you confess, then?”

“I knew had to stay alive, and I had to face the fact that you were my only hope.”

He wrapped your arms around you in a comforting hug. You assumed the worst with his silence. You assumed that he didn’t like you. You felt the flowers in your chest push themselves out of you. You hunched over, detaching yourself from his embrace, coughing violently as flowers slipped out of your mouth.

He patted your back, and, before you could realize it, you started to cry. Was this it for you? Your life is at its end because a guy flirted with you at a party? That’s so stupid.

He noticed your tears, though, and he pulled your hair behind your ear. “Why are you crying, princess?”

“Isn’t it obvious? You don’t like me, and now I have to decide what horrible fate I have to put myself through!” You felt guilty for putting the blame on him, but you were scared. What the fuck were you going to do now?

“Woah, there.” He suddenly stopped you, pulling you up from your slumped position. “Who said I didn’t like you?”

You paused right then and there. For that very moment, all flowers growing in your chest and all tears threatening to pour had stopped. “Huh?”

“I like you too, YN. Ever since.” He chuckled at your dumbfoundedness, pulling you into another hug.

“You didn’t say it, though!”

“Were all the pet names and, quote-unquote, ‘dates’ I took you to not obvious enough?”

“I thought you were like that to everyone else…”

“Sure, but that was before.” He sighed, shaking his head as he laughed. “I thought you were a really pretty thing at first when I met you at that party, YN. It was shallow, I know, but our conversation later that night really sparked my interest in you. I’ve liked you ever since.”

“But the girls…”

“I was asking them for advice.” He smacked his lips. “I just never went through with them because I noticed you were distancing yourself away from me. I thought you were, like, trying to subtly say you didn’t like me anymore—or even at all.”

“Kenny,” you hummed against his chest.

“Yeah?”

“I’m so sorry. Thank you very much.” You whispered against his chest.

“Always and forever, pretty.”

#south park fanfiction #south park x reader #kenny x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #kenny mccormick x y/n #kenny mccormick x you #cocogrrrl's writing #cocogrrrl's hanahaki series

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foreverindreamlandd · 2 years

Text

Party Like it's 1984

Pairing: Neighbor!Steve Harrington x Plus Size!Reader

WC: 3.1k

Summary: You and Steve arrived at the Halloween party separately - him with Nancy, you with Robin and Keith. But when shit goes down with the new kid Billy Hargrove, everything gets a bit mixed up.

Warnings: Underage drinking, Billy Hargrove being an absolute asshole, bullying, fat-shaming, name calling, protective Steve.

Note: This is part of the Neighbor!Steve x Plus Size!Reader AU, but you do not need to read the previous parts to read this one! Takes place during the Halloween episode of season 2. This one's a bit angsty....also ignore Nancy in the gif plz it was the best one I could find :,)

Stranger Things Masterlist

~~~~~~

“This is a bad idea,” you mumbled, shifting in your seat until the buttons of your shirt were no longer pulling open.

Robin turned to you from the passenger seat. “Come on, babe. You promised we could go. Besides, we look hot. Right, Keith?”

Keith muttered something incoherent. “How long do we have to be at this thing again?” he asked.

“Until Tammy Thompson flirts with lady Indiana Jones,” you responded, staring at your reflection in the rearview mirror. Maybe if you pulled your own dark brown fedora, no one would be able to recognize you.

Robin started sputtering in an attempt to form a defense, but eventually just crossed her arms and went silent.

You were right, after all.

When you had agreed to let Robin drag you to this Halloween party, you imagined you could just throw on some witch mask and continue being invisible as you strived to be in the halls of Hawkins High. But then, your horrible, mean, psychotic best friend convinced you to wear matching costumes.

“Why do men get to wear the fun, hot, rogue archeologist outfit?” she had argued while the two of you thrifted for your costume pieces at Goodwill. “We could make it look even better. Sexier.” She winked and you groaned.

Sure. She could. With the cinched waist, the dazzling smile, and the stellar leather jacket she managed to find in her size.

They definitely didn’t have one in yours. So you went with the more casual look, a light brown button up that was a little too tight in some places, the top buttons undone to reveal a white tank top, sleeves rolled up your forearm and threatening to cut off circulation.

It would have been easier to find a large blazer to cover up your body, to hide the way these clothes clung to your skin.

But then you would have dealt with an even worse issue, the sweat. It may have been a cool October evening, but you knew that in a house full of horny, drunk teenagers, you would be standing in a gross, smelly sauna. If you had the blazer, you’d probably have put stains and sweat marks traveling down your back (or even worse, your backside).

So even though both costume choices weren’t ideal, you decided to go with the lesser of two evils.

Still, there were moments when you were getting ready, when you applied the red lipstick and adjusted the fake whip to your waist, that you did feel like a badass heroine. Where you felt….pretty.

The sentiment would usually go away when you turned to see yourself at the “bad” angle in the mirror, and then the dread would return.

That feeling of dread returned as you felt your stomach turn to knots as Keith parked the car and you all got out.

You began your approach to the house, music blaring loud enough to be heard from the end of the street. The yard was in shambles, and there were hoards of people trying to get inside.

Your feet began to slow. “You know, maybe you two should go in. I can just hang out in the car-”

Robin whipped her head around, eyes wide and terrifying. “Y/n, listen to me.” She reached out and grabbed your hand. “You look fucking amazing. Please just come inside. If you aren’t having fun in 20 minutes, we can go, okay? Please?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, looking between the front door and your best friend.

Finally, you squeezed her hand and nodded. Robin jumped in excitement and pulled you with her as she scurried to the entrance, Keith following behind in his vampire costume.

It was chaos the moment you walked inside. People everywhere, limbs flying all over the place as they yell-sang to the music and danced along. It smelled like cheap beer and smoke and you instantly felt dizzy from the overstimulation.

Your hand tightened around Robin and she turned back with another reassuring smile. “Let’s get a drink, k?”

You swallowed, forcing a smile and nodding. She pulled you along through the moving bodies, some of them bumping into you and making you that much more aware of how much space you took up.

On your journey, your eyes flashed to the left, somehow able to immediately spot Steve as if being pulled to him.

He looked….amazing. The black shirt and blazer hugging his form in the best ways, his hair waving around as he danced, the sunglasses that made him look cool despite wearing them inside…at night.

His smile, which could have lit up the whole room if needed.

Tom Cruise had nothing on Steve Harrington.

Looking at him, you felt instantly at peace, and you felt your own smile creeping up your face.

A cruel, invasive daydream formed in your mind as you watched him. You imagined him turning over and meeting your eye, and him stopping short, completely entranced by you.

You imagined the way he would take off his sunglasses to get a better look, eyes not leaving you as he practically floated over to where you were…hand moving up to graze his knuckles over your skin..

And then you watched his gaze find the figure in front of him, and the smile instantly dropped.

Nancy looked stunning. Her tiny frame bouncing up and down to the music, perfect brown hair tied back.

Steve’s smile widened as he watched her, as did the crack forming in your heart as you watched him.

You made your way to the backyard where the keg was, grimacing as you watched a couple guys holding someone over it for a keg stand, counting and shouting wildly.

Thankfully, there was another keg a few feet away so you didn’t have to get any nearer to that.

The guy manning the keg looked you and Robin up and down, and you felt his gaze linger at your stomach a few seconds longer than the rest of your body. Your arms instinctively shifted to cover it up.

As soon as the drinks were in your hands, you nudged Robin. “Let’s go back inside.

Just then, the guy doing the keg stand was brought back to the ground, wiping his mouth and roaring into the air.

Billy Hargrove. The new kid and apparently the new reigning king of Hawkins High.

A total fucking asshole. Smug, arrogant, a bully. You caught him in his car a few times screaming at his younger sister, or harassing some of the girls.

Billy was trouble, and you wanted nothing to do with it.

That thought entered your mind as soon as his eyes flashed over to you. He puffed his chest out, looked you up and down, then grimaced as he walked away.

“This was a bad idea,” you tried to yell to Robin over the crowd as you walked back inside. “Can we go ho-”

“Oh, there’s Tammy!” Robin exclaimed, totally oblivious to everything happening. She hooked her arm around yours and pulled. “Come on!”

Of course, Tammy was right fucking next to Steve Harrington, making heart eyes at the back of his head as he danced with Nancy.

He finally noticed you when you were about five feet away, you pulling away from Robin and moving to hug the wall.

“Hey!” he said, surprise in his voice as he rested his sunglasses on the top of his head and looked you up and down.

You braced yourself for the same judgment you received from the other two guys this evening. For any sign of a grimace, any disgust in his expression.

His eyes widened, and his smile grew. “You look fucking awesome!”

Your chest swelled. “Really?” you asked, voice inaudible with the music blasting.

“Hell yeah! I love it. Totally badass.”

He started saying something in a quieter voice and it got jumbled through the noise. “What?” you yelled.

Suddenly, he was leaning in, lips inches away from your ear. “If I ever hear word about an ancient, impossible to find treasure, I’m calling you up.”

A smile crept up your face and you nodded. “You got it, Steve.”

Nancy was still dancing, not noticing you, which was fine because you were too distracted by the way Steve’s body turned to face you completely as he leaned back to engage in any small talk. He rested his hands on his hips.

“So?” he started. “What do you think of my look?”

You rolled your eyes, instantly feeling more at ease than you had five minutes ago. “Tom Cruise ain’t got nothing on you.”

His brows raised, a look of….awe? or something painted across his face for a millisecond before he regained composure. He nodded.

“Someone put that on my tombstone,” he responded.

The two of you laughed, you lightly shoving his arm and he leaned into you.

And just like that, the music and loud noise faded around you, and there weren’t any drunk people in costumes, there was no stale scent of beer and cigarettes and weed.

All you could hear was the pounding of your heart, all you could see was the man before you, and all you could smell was the cologne drifting from his neck into your nostrils.

You had hardly ever drank alcohol in your life, so it might have been the few sips of beer you had consumed, but you could have sworn his eyes flickered to your mouth and that he might have leaned forward-

“I’m getting another drink,” Nancy suddenly slurred. Steve whipped his head toward his girlfriend and you followed suit, watching her tiny body stumble away into the crowd.

He groaned, eyes tracking her movements. “I should go with her.” He turned to you with a smile that looked more like a grimace. “She’s had way too much. Time to cut her off.”

You nodded. “Good luck.”

Steve stared at you a few moments longer. “You really do look great tonight, Y/n. Not that you don’t always. It’s just…” he shook his head. “Nevermind. I’ll see ya around, okay?”

Another nod. “Sounds good,” you said, trying to hide your disappointment.

You watched him walk away before turning around, noticing Robin leaning against the wall, staring at you in disgust.

You mimicked her expression. “What?”

“What the hell was that?” she accused, standing straight.

“What the hell was what?”

She scoffed, waving her hand out in front of you. “That! You and dumb Harrington practically eye-fucking each other.”

You barked out a laugh, shaking your head. “You’re ridiculous.” You took a sip of beer.

“Am not! You’re like, totally in love with him, aren’t you?”

And then you were choking on your sip of beer, coughing and sputtering.

Robin groaned. “Y/n, come on! Him? That dipshit sucks!”

“He does not and you know that! Remember when he forced Tommy to switch lockers with him so that I stopped getting harassed? He also drives me to school everyday!”

She snapped her fingers, eyes widening in an aha! moment. “But Keith has offered to drive you and you keep saying no! Because you want your Harrington time!”

You jumped forward, covering her mouth with your hand. “Robin. Stop.”

Robin licked your hand and you yelped.

“Listen,” she said when you finally pulled your hand away, voice quieter, “I just don’t want you to get hurt, okay? So if your heart wants that clown, then fine. But if he does one thing to upset you, his ass is grass.”

You nodded, expression softening at the sweet yet somewhat terrifying sentiment. “I love you, too.”

She smiled. “Come on, let’s get another drink.”

Instead of going outside, Robin led you to the kitchen where there was a massive punch bowl. The fumes it gave off as you stood over it seemed dangerous.

Hell, maybe this would help you loosen up a bit.

Just as you were about to head back to your spot, Robin froze, eyes following Tammy Thomspon as she approached the punch bowl.

You looked over to her and smiled, squeezing her hand. “Good luck, bud.”

She swallowed and squeezed your hand back before you let go and walked back to your safe space by the wall.

You did your best to try to make your body as small as possible, not wanting people to bump into the fat girl and have yet another excuse to judge you and your larger body.

You did your best, but nothing could have prepared you for the moment that Billy Hargrove barrelled across the room, knocking straight into you and spilling your punch all over your button up.

Billy scrunched his face staring at you. “Watch it, cow.”

You stood there, a mixture of shock and embarrassment making it impossible for you to move. You wished that you could just disintegrate into the floor and never be seen here again-

“The fuck did you just call her, Hargrove?” You turned your head to the right to see Steve storming over, eyes ignited with rage. He stopped once he was between you and Billy.

Billy smirked. “Look, King Steve, it’s not my fault. Some things are just too big to ignore.”

Wow, this kid sure fucking knew how to get you right where it hurt.

Steve took another step forward, and you watched his hands clenched into fists. When he spoke next, his voice was low, threatening. “Don’t you dare talk about her like that or I swear to God-”

Billy let out a low, antagonizing chuckle as he took a swig of beer. “Damn Harrington. I thought you preferred skim milk,” his eyes flickered over to Nancy stumbling out of the house in Jonathan Byers’s arms, then over to meet yours, “not heavy cream.”

Steve lunged at Billy, right arm swinging back to ready a punch.

You grabbed said arm, pulling him back.

“Steve, stop,” you whispered, hand clinging to him. “Ignore him. It’s not worth it.”

He looked at you in horror. “What the hell does that mean?”

You shook your head, forcing the tears back. “Just…please. I don’t want to deal with this.”

Steve stared at you for a long moment, chest heaving up and down. From the corner of your eye, you watched Billy saunter away, smug smile growing.

Finally, he relaxed, and you let go of his arm as he moved to take your hand. “Come on,” he said softly. “I’ll take you home.”

Another shake of your head. “It’s fine. Robin and Keith can take me.”

His jaw clenched, and he looked up to scan the room until he found Robin in the kitchen. He looked at you, eyes wide with concern. “Wait here one moment.”

You watched as he walked over to Robin, whispering something in her ear. Her eyes went to you, and when she looked back at Steve she glared, mumbling something in response.

All Steve did was nod, then walked back to you.

“Let’s go, Y/n.” His hand went back to yours, and you were too tired to keep fighting.

He kept hold of your hand until you got to the maroon BMW. He walked over to the trunk and pulled out an oversized Hawkins High Basketball sweatshirt, handing it to you.

You nodded in thanks, silently praying that it would fit.

“You can change in the car,” he murmured, walking over to the passenger side to open the door for you.

Another nod from you and you stepped in. He waited a few seconds - back turned to you as he blocked your window from any onlookers - and then moved over to the driver’s side.

It was silent the entire ride home, you staring outside the window, Billy’s words playing in an endless loop in your mind.

The car pulled to a stop outside your house, Steve’s movements slow as he turned the ignition off, bringing his hands back to the wheel.

Had they been clenched around it that tightly this whole time?

Silence.

“Is that really how you feel?” he finally asked, looking over to you in such a pained expression that you felt your heart break.

“What?” you whispered.

“That you’re not worth it? That you don’t deserve having someone beat the shit out of some asshole who thinks they can say such awful, fucking untrue things to you?”

Your bottom lip trembled. “Steve..”

“No, Y/n, listen.” His hands somehow clenched the steering wheel even more tightly. “If anyone thinks of being a dick to you ever again, I’m swinging. You can try to act like it doesn’t hurt you or that you don’t care, but I do. And I’m not letting it slide.”

A tear fell down your cheek and you smiled.

“Steve Harrington, my stubborn knight in shining armor.”

Steve laughed, his body relaxing and he shook his head. “What can I say?” His eyes met yours and your breath hitched from the intensity of them. “You’re worth protecting.”

You swallowed, suddenly dizzy from the sincerity in this voice. If only you had managed to drink more of that toxic punch to give yourself more liquid courage to be in this moment.

But alas, you hadn’t so you were too sober to delve any further into this conversation.

“Is Nancy okay?” you asked, changing the subject back to his girlfriend.

The light left Steve’s eyes and he sighed. “I don’t know. She had a lot to drink and sort of freaked out.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shook her head. “She’s…she’s been through a lot lately. I try to help her the best I can, but sometimes I don’t think I’ll ever be enough.”

“Hey,” you said, hand reaching out to take his. “You’re always enough, Steve. More than enough. Nancy seems great, but if she can’t see that, then she honestly doesn’t deserve you.”

Shit….maybe I’ve had more to drink than I thought.

Steve looked down at your hand, his thumb stroking your knuckles once before he looked back at you.

“Nanc….she said something tonight. About you.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you blinked a few times. “What did she say?”

Steve stared at you, and you could almost see a million little gears turning in his head as he thought of the next thing to say.

Finally, he released your hand, eyes leaving yours. “She said you looked really great tonight. Incredible, actually.”

Your shoulders relaxed, though you didn’t realize how tense they had gotten in those few seconds of silence. “Oh…that was really nice of her.”

“She meant it,” he mumbled. His hand went back to the ignition. “I should get going.”

You nodded, reaching for the handle. “Thanks for the ride.”

He nodded. “Anytime.”

You forced yourself not to look back as you approached the front door to your hours, which meant you missed how Steve’s eyes didn’t leave you until you were safely inside, the hand once again tightening around the steering wheel before he drove home.

~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! :)

#Steve Harrington x reader #Steve Harrington x you #Steve Harrington x y/n #neighbor!steve harrington #neighbor!steve harrington x plus size!reader #Steve harrington #Steve Harrington imagine #Steve Harrington fic #Steve harrington angst #protective Steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagine

710 notes · View notes

kitmoas · 1 year

Text

Counterparts and Countermoves

Summary: A dynamic that lies upon a shaky foundation can only crumble, but it's the actions during an earthquake that matter most

Pairing: Wanda x Kate | Natasha x Reader | Wandanat x Reader x Kate

Word Count: 11.6k

Warnings: Angsty angst!, vague mentions/recalling of abuse (physical and sexual), mentions of death, Mommy/Daddy kink, dubious consent (plays with cnc vibes), strap on use (r and kate receiving) , cum filled strap, breeding kink, magic use/play, magical marks

*As usual, if I forgot anything let me know!*

A/N: OKAY so this took a long time, but we have come to probably one of the most important parts of this universe. I know it's been a while but if anyone remembers Comic Non who basically guessed a lot, THIS is the chapter that is going to talk about some of the things we discussed!

I JUST finished this, so if there are a lot of mistakes...im sorry please dont come for me

***MINORS DNI*** ***18+***

Training Grounds Masterlist

It wasn’t often that the sun rose before them, the two women almost always hours into their day by the time the rest of the world even began waking up. Today was different, soft music playing in the background while Wanda reads and Natasha writes in a journal. The warmth of sleep still lingers in the bed sheets that stretch across their legs.

A frustrated grunt breaks the serene atmosphere, shattering the naively happy scene. The ginger’s heavy handed scratches against the paper continued to drill against the witch’s ears, picking at her nerves. “If you no longer want to enjoy the silence, can you just get out?” The brunette’s voice was sharp, annoyance obvious.

The moment Natasha rips paper out of her journal, throwing the now crumbled up ball across the room, Wanda rolls her eyes. “Oh now we’re going to throw a tantrum? What are you? Three years old?” The witch calmly puts her bookmark into place, letting her magic settle the book across the room on the table.

Her eyebrow twitches when she hears her counterpart scoff, tilting her head waiting for her next complaint. “You’re the one who can’t control her damn emotions! I thought we got past the emotionally fragile chaos or do I need to train you again?” The normally calm, level headed demeanor of the widow is gone instead replaced with snark and sarcasm. “I thought you were over the emo teenage phase.”

“Oh please, you couldn’t train me if you even tried. Don’t forget who always ends up begging to be used.” The arrogant look on the brunette’s face ticks at Natasha’s nerves, cutting deeper than it should have. “You may be daddy but we both know Mommy is in control in this house. Isn’t that right, my little Natsy?” Wanda calmly leans back, clasping her hands in her lap as she waits for a response. A small polite smile painted on her face, scrunching her nose as she watches the ginger stumble for a retort.

Natasha’s jaw clenches, her teeth grinding as she just glares at the younger girl. She stands from the bed, crossing to the small dry bar in the corner of the room. Grabbing a bottle of beer the ginger just leans against the counter as she sips, “When everything falls apart, and you’re the cause, don’t expect me to be there. I am telling you, right now for the last time, do not let your emotions win. This has been your issue since you came here, since we met. I have been there for every single time, good or bad, but I will not be able to look past it if you don’t listen to me this time. This isn’t about you anymore Wanda, don’t make it about you.”

The younger Avenger’s face is completely blank as she stares across the room, her eyes unfocused and emotionless. “And when you lose it all, everything, it won’t be me who falls apart. It won’t be the world or the situation, no. Natalia, my love, it’s going to be you. You will fall apart and you won’t have anyone to pick you up, no one to go to. Maybe I’ll be the cause, but you’ll be the only one dealing with a negative effect.” Before the Russian can even react the witch dissipates into scarlet mist, her infamous head tilt sullen void of all viciousness.

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“We shouldn’t have split up! I told you!” The young boy’s voice cracks as he stands behind the couch, flailing his arms around.

Your focus doesn’t waver, even as he screams and panics, eyes stuck on your part of the screen. You knew that at least three of the last players were near you, the others scattered across the rest of the map. “You’re just mad that you died and can’t come back.”

Not a single sound has come from the blonde next to you, eyes focused and breath hitched as she waits. “Peter, how is it that you are an Avenger when you cannot handle a simple video game?” While you play up close, chaotic and all over the map; you know that Yelena has taken out at least one person that was on your tail from where she is hidden on the hillside. “Circle is closing in, three at six only one with a mask.”

It was your normal take down; you were in charge of taking the mask down by a surprise attack while your best friend would be sniping down the last players. Breath was baited across the three of you, knowing this was the end of a tournament and this would win it for you. The focus was so intense that even though none of you were making a single sound, no one noticed the elevator dinging and Natasha walking in swinging her car keys.

The ginger stands back, amusement filling her body as she watches the three of you jump up excitedly when the screen displays your victory. When your eyes catch her shiny leather jacket, your entire demeanor shifts. Jumping over the couch you just barely manage to stay on your feet as you fall into the widow’s arms. “Daddy! You’re here?” She was supposed to be spending the day with Wanda, and you had planned to spend the entire day playing in Call of Duty tournaments.

Yelena is shoving you to the side, shoving her face against her sister’s shoulder and curling into her side. “Please say you are not only here for your toy.” The white widow looks up at her sister, a small pout on her lips. “You’re gonna stay at least for a little, right?”

Peter hangs down from the ceiling, holding out a bowl of chips with a hopeful face. “Yeah Ms. Widow, please hang out with us for a little bit at least. We have an extra controller.” The three of you start tugging on her shirt, trying to get her to sit down on the couch. Pleading and prodding until she finally laughs and gives in.

Yelena and Peter are trying to argue over how to teach the older widow how to play, while she just pulls you closer to her. “Hello my девочка, have you been having a good day?” Before you can even answer, she’s pulling you into a kiss. It’s soft and sweet, but she’s pulling away before you can really enjoy it. A boop to your nose is her attempt to shush you as the youngest spider in the room finally screeches out in his victory.

He tosses your controller in your lap and quickly sets up a web above the three of you so that you and Yelena can cuddle into Nat while you all play. “Okay Ms. Widow, we’re going to be playing on my terms! We all stay together and protect each other.”

For the next few hours the four of them yell and scream, playing round after round of CoD, and letting the ginger’s mind be distracted a little while.

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The stairs up to your apartment are always brutal when the raven haired girl was so exhausted, sore and just entirely over the day. She had spent the entire day before on a mission that Clint gave her, one that was still following him even into his days of retirement. Excited to crawl into your bed, she knew that Lucky would be lounging there as well–warming the blankets for her.

The front door is heavy as the archer puts her entire weight into opening it, a relieved sigh as she finally leans against it as it clicks shut. When the lovable golden doesn’t come running, Kate’s eyes finally open. Flinching in her spot on the ground when she sees Wanda, sitting with her legs crossed staring at her. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know you were going to be here. I was just going to take a bit to relax somewhere that was quiet.”

The archer sees Lucky curled up next to the witch, completely passed out and snoring gently. Watching as the older woman curls in on herself, wrapping her arms around her body like armor, Kate wants to reach out but stops herself in a moment of doubt. “It’s alright I wasn’t really meant to be here either, I just didn’t know where to go.” The two sit there in silence for a while, awkward and heavy as they avoid eye contact as well.

Getting up from her spot on the floor shakes the atmosphere, waking up the retriever as well. Pointedly glaring at the floor as she crosses to the kitchen, Kate takes her time pouring a drink and taking small sips from the glass. Licking at her lips, the young girl tries to figure out what to say to break the tense atmosphere. “I could go for a snack, want to join?”

Wanda’s furrowed brows flinch, almost like she forgot the other girl was there while she got lost in thought. Stuttering, a moment of weakness that she lets slip through her normal stoic shield shocks her counterpart but the Sokovian is nodding and standing quickly. “I need to run a few errands anyways, would you join me?”

It’s obvious that the two don’t know how to spend time alone together, needing some sort of distraction the two quickly jump at the chance to fill their unexpected time together with stores and whatever random food they can find during their trip. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Curled up on the ginger’s lap, snacking on the bowl of popcorn you were incredibly happy to see the opening credits of Wall-E. The others left after being called to training, so you were just getting some lazy attention from your daddy. Groping at your body, it was just enough for you to feel squirmy but not enough to fully take your attention away from one of your favorite movies.

The two of you enjoyed the movie mostly in silence for almost thirty minutes, by that point in the movie Natasha had gotten bored of not having your focus so she seemingly was letting you enjoy the film. Your eyes are scanning the television in front of you, watching as M-O goes rolling by. You can’t help it as a little happy squeal leaves your mouth at seeing the little cleaning bot, your favorite.

You aren’t sure if it was the sound you made or the little wiggle but it breaks whatever self control the ginger had. The bowl of popcorn is set aside, just out of reach of your slightly shiny buttered fingers and a pout makes its way onto your face. You aren’t given any time to truly complain before the widow has her hand wrapped around your throat, the free one shoving its way down your pants. It’s fast and rough, and with all the popcorn and soda you have had you feel gross. This wasn’t what you thought the night would be like, and you weren’t sure that your self esteem was up for it either.

Squirming, you just barely plop off the side of the Russian’s lap and you try to roll away but her calloused hands grip your hips. “Daddy what are you doing, no we were watching the movie!” You try to sound stern but your voice is already too squeaky and whiny. There was a time and a place for this, and you were not in the mood for your movie time to be interrupted.

The loud tearing of your pants makes the tantrum that is brewing begin to rapidly boil over, your feet kicking and your arms flailing as you try to get away from your normally soft daddy. “Daddy no! My pants!” You stretch, a feeble attempt at grasping for the torn pieces of fabric slipping down your legs.

Despite your efforts and your reluctance, none of it matters against the infamous widow’s strength. She easily flips the two of you over, your face smooshing into the couch right next to your bowl of popcorn. You can feel her between your legs, her finger grazing your clit makes your hips jump. Your body is already betraying you as you feel wetness start to grow between your thighs, but you can’t help the anger fueling your actions.

Natasha has you spread out, kneeling between your legs as she forces two fingers into you. She knows it isn’t soft, and though you are wet she knows you aren’t necessarily in the mood. The knowledge that it doesn’t matter, that you are getting something out of this urges her to continue; to get what she needs so that the rest of the day isn’t horrible. Each aggressive shove into the couch makes her flinch, but at the same time the widow can feel her anger from earlier in the day melting away.

The pain of her fingers moving inside you is almost too much, just barely staying on the pleasure side. No matter how wet you are, how your body reacts, you miserably look up at your movie and popcorn. “Daddy please stop. The movie is still going and my snack is gonna spill! Please wait!” Shoving at the hand that’s between your thighs is a lot of work, trying to get her to pull out.

A hand in your hair yanks you up, teeth biting into the side of your neck. “What’s a slut like you caring about a stupid bowl of treats for? You should be grateful I even let you have a handful of it.” Her voice is sharp, anger seeping into your bones as she speaks against your ear. She lets her thumb swipe against your throbbing clit, a dark chuckle at how hard it is. “If you care so much about your beloved popcorn, have some.” Before you can even really react, the ginger is shoving your face into the bowl.

You had to be grateful that this was just a snack and not some sort of liquid, but it didn’t stop you from flailing around as if you were going to drown. The screaming claws at your throat were muffled, despite the rawness they were causing. Even when your fist finally collides with her arm, Natasha doesn’t stop. If anything it makes her slip a third finger inside you, stretching you more and spitting on your red puffy cunt.

The force that the widow is fucking you is brutal, all her strength and training coming in handy as she fucks into you. It’s something that you aren’t prepared for with the ginger, usually she is much softer and loving, but you couldn’t deny that this was a huge turnon even as your body struggled to take what she was giving you. “I don’t care how much you cry and beg me to stop, all you are is a slutty little hole for Daddy to use. Your tears are doing nothing but turning me on more and making your popcorn all soggy.”

Dangling from the edge was normal for you, it was something that each one of your partners always liked to do. They said you looked pretty when you were desperate, but this seemed different. You weren’t sure what it was about but you knew that you weren’t in for an easy time tonight.

Natasha’s hand tangles in your hair and you internally cheer, thinking that you’re going to get reprise from salt and butter filling your senses, but instead she uses her grip on you to shove your face deeper into the bowl. The plastic rim digs into your neck, almost like a mock collar and you wish you could say that it wasn’t helping you drip around the fingers that are forcing their way into you.

“Don’t worry, princess, Daddy won’t ruin you too much. We all know you would whine to your Mommy too much, and I would prefer if she would just keep her mouth shut.” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The young brunette spins around, holding two smoothies, looking around a bit before spotting the witch leaning against a lamppost. She takes the moment to watch her, Wanda’s face morphing into an obfuscated guise as she watches a couple play with their two children. The older woman had been having dreams of two little boys for the past few weeks, her dream of starting a family with someone still very far off.

Silence is heavy between the two, their usual buffers aren’t around. Even as they sip their drinks and walk around the park, the two don’t speak. The birds and distant conversation as they pass others fill the air, but there’s a tenseness that even confuses the witch. The thoughts of everyone around her are strong and loud, making it difficult for her to casually hear whatever the archer is thinking. It isn’t until she catches a glimpse of Kate flinching as they pass a couple joggers that she steps up to take control, directing them down a small path to a more private area. Happy to see a bench in a far corner, shade leaking over it from a few trees.

Wanda pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, playing with the straw, after the two settle on the wooden seat. She knows that she needs to do something, soothe the anxiety that is radiating from the archer’s thoughts. It wasn’t something that she was used to, the two of them only having a few deeper moments but this one felt different—unknown. She can see the younger girl getting stuck in her head, the glossy unfocused look in her eyes is a dead giveaway as she mindlessly watches the clouds roll by.

“You know, the world used to be really small as a kid. School, archery practice, martial arts days, whatever sport I was playing at the time, and friends. My life barely left the city, and even then it only left the state for vacations and tournaments. I know my life has always come with privilege and ease especially when compared to others on the Avengers. I was a rich kid who just so happened to lose their father. I know a lot of the rest of the agents and everyone might look at me and think I’m stupid and reckless. I know you look at me like I’m stupid and reckless. My father was stupid and reckless, and I loved him for that. He was everything my mother couldn’t be throughout the rest of my childhood and teenage years.” It’s a slow story, long pauses at the end of each sentence as Kate gathers her thoughts. This isn’t something that the witch asked for, and it wasn’t anything she had been expecting but she wasn’t going to stop the younger girl if she was ready to open up.

“My father was a good man, he was, but he wanted to keep a lifestyle for me that apparently we couldn’t keep while his company was failing. Bishop Security wasn’t the first company in the family. It was some firm, dealing with technology but it was going under. He almost lost the entire family fortune, but then the battle happened.” Wanda tried her best to not truly focus on the archer as she spoke, only nodding and giving quiet hums as warranted throughout. She knew that the younger girl despised eye contact, and never truly wanted to be the center of attention when her walls were crumbling around her.

“I spent months thinking that there was no way things could get better. How could it? I lost my dad, the man that spent his entire life thinking about me and how to make me happy. How can things get better when your family loses the glue that held it together?” The New Yorker’s voice cracked with each word, emotions building and swirling in her stomach as she tries her best to just get through this part of her life. It wasn’t something that she loved to talk about, and she hates that it is such a big part of who she is. Each word, each thought, was like a small knife slowly digging into each healed scar and reopening them.

“They were his best friends. The closest thing to family that my father actually loved outside mome and me. He would rave about them at all times, and they would spend vacations with us. The two of them were practically my uncles. They would attend family functions with us, and half the time I saw them more than I saw my actual family. Everyone knew that my father would have wanted them to take care of my mother and I. Keeping an eye on us, making sure we got back on our feet.” Risking a moment to look up at the other girl when her voice trails off, Wanda can see the completely empty distant look in her eyes. It’s almost like Kate no longer exists, just a shell of herself, as she stares unblinking at a random building. The witch desperately wants to peek into her mind, fast forward and find a way to comfort her properly with each word she says, but the boundary that is always between the two still exists. Even as every other wall comes tumbling down, and the archer is being so vulnerable, she still keeps up the barrier she built between herself and Wanda.

“It was a beautifully tragic situation really, almost like something in a documentary. They were supposed to protect me, my father trusted them with me. Why would my mother even suspect anything is wrong, especially when I didn’t even realize what was happening at first.” It’s almost like Kate doesn’t believe it still, her own life and past proof of everything. The naivety of a stolen childhood sinking into the situation truly shows how hard the girl’s brain worked to mask the pain she went through.

“It was only one of them for a little bit, they would go back and forth. Their little game and for so long all I craved was love. They told me…. it was love, I believed them.” Kate laughs, it’s dry and pathetic, but she still refuses to meet the older woman’s gaze. Even with the heavy silence hanging between the two, birds chirping and the distant sounds of the city around them, Wanda can’t bring herself to say anything yet.

“When it was both of them, it felt…different. They were angry and less loving, and that’s when I realized I don’t think they knew what love was. If this game, this thing, was love then it scared me. I didn’t want love if that’s what it was. I wanted to tell someone, but I couldn’t. Every single time I opened my mouth I was frozen in fear because I realized if I told someone they would go away.” Wanda watches the longer Kate talks the more she curls in on herself, even lifting her feet from the ground to shield her body with her legs. Sinking into her own body gave a physical barrier, makeshift armor even against the thoughts inside her own head that attacked her daily.

“The two people who reminded me so much of my dad would be gone forever. They were my favorite people in every moment but those. How could it be bad if they were so amazing in every other second of my life? Maybe I was the issue? Maybe I needed to be better or more well behaved during those times? Maybe if I was less scared during our game then it wouldn’t hurt as much and I could keep our little secret?” The witch could feel her anger rising, the chaos shaking under her skin. This wasn’t something she ever wanted to hear, a story that she never wanted to learn. Control she fought to have, over herself and everyone in her life, stripped before she even had the chance to assert it over the archer. Her control was her protection wrapped around the ones she loves, a shield that keeps them from harm even when she cannot be there.

“For years I tried to convince myself that they loved me, I didn’t understand it because I was too young. Each time I felt unsafe, I threw myself farther into sports–martial arts, fencing, boxing, anything that made me feel powerful. I would become stronger physically and one day when they made me feel unsafe, maybe just maybe, I could fight them. I never could. I was too weak, too petrified as soon as they looked at me. It was their eyes, something about them was so cold. They were never like that during the day, gorgeous sparkling eyes that welcomed everyone but they were empty and lifeless when we were alone. They boiled over in almost mindless anger every time we played their game, and it made me feel so small and young.” It’s almost like you can see the way the archer’s twitch, muscles screaming to move. Memories of movements, of self preservation and protection, spreading down her body.

“I hadn’t realized my mother came home early. They had me in the middle of the living room playing that day. I didn’t even hear her walk in or walk out. She didn’t say a word but the next day they were gone. Years of fear and shame, hating myself for letting it happen, seemingly ending overnight. We never spoke of it, not until a year later when I was named the youngest multi-sport Olympian at sixteen. She looked at me as that confetti came down during the celebration with such pride, but something wasn’t right.” Kate pauses, her eyes unfocused as she stares determinedly at the walkway in front of her. Her throat bobs, swallowing down whatever was coming next as she mentally prepares herself for the next apex of her life.

“Did you want it to happen?” The younger brunette scoffs loudly, the first sign of anger since the beginning. “Somewhere in that head of hers she struggled to think that these two guys who were such big parts of our family could hurt me, and instead pushed it onto me. Why would I want that? Why?! Huh!? Tell me why in the hell a little kid would want someone to touch them that way? To even think of them that way?” Wanda flinches at the pure hatred dripping from the archer’s tongue, her emotions and thoughts like flying knives through the air that strike the witch’s heart.

“The start of our strained relationship really, she loved me still but something broke between us that day. I started getting more and more into archery and doing things that I guess she didn’t like, and she was…getting more involved in her things as well. She was never really an affectionate person but I think I was so aggressively growing into my father’s personality, and that scared her. I leaned into the one true love I knew and it ended up with me learning his confident, arrogant ways.” The young girl’s lips quirk up a bit, a sly smirk appearing momentarily on her face. The first flash of the daily shine in her eyes since the beginning of the conversation, and it sinks into Wanda’s mind that it wasn’t who the young girl was. That shine, the rebellious smirk, and playboy stance was all a nod to the father that left her all alone–a last ditch effort at grasping for even a resemblance of identity.

“I didn’t know who I was for so long. I was just hiding that part of me from the world.” Wanda watches as the glazed look in the young girl’s eyes comes back, jaw slack as she tries to find the words she’s looking for. “It felt like…I wasn’t damaged but hollow. In moments of silence I couldn’t stop thinking about them, their words and their hands on me. In moments of nothing, they were all I had and it was haunting. No one noticed, I mean how could they know? I was still doing what I do best, thriving in the public eye. I won competitions, rose in ranks, collected awards and medals. Under the entirely fake mask, I was drowning. I couldn’t understand what to be, who to be, or what the world was.” Her sentence trails off, her eyes fluttering around as they hop from each animal around. The hush settles around the archer’s shoulders, a subtle darkness pushing her into herself. Even though her face stays unreadable, it’s her eyes that give her away. Ocean eyes where the waves crash violently against one another, angry and desperately trying to drown any other emotions; but failing as tranquil tears blurs her vision.

“It….It’s so exhausting being in my mind.” Kate’s voice wavers, breaking under the emotion clawing up her throat. “ I get most people aren’t comfortable in their own skin, nor are they really happy with themselves but I just.. I want to feel content with at least being me. But I hate it. I despise who I am, or at least who I remember being. Imagine that, I hate a rich little kid. A happy go lucky girl that was crazy and ambitious is my worst enemy. Something that most people wish for, I wish she would have just died. I hate her because that’s the last time I remember knowing who I was fully. Now I’m stuck behind a facade because it’s less tiring than being a shattered version of a failed human.” The sounds of children laughing and playing, and dogs barking, interrupt as the CEO takes a shaky breath in–almost a cruel irony.

“The mask became protection, a way to forget all the issues but being me… I didn’t know how to do that easily even by the time I made it to college. I was this shining light in New York, and in the country, but… I don’t even think I.. I couldn’t even feel happiness. Inside I felt so small and I couldn’t stop hearing every single word they ever said to me, and I would get so confused and broken because it still didn’t make sense to me.” Shakily, Wanda reaches out to gently tangle her fingers together with Kate’s. Thumb rubbing against the back of her hand, the witch tries to give any ounce of comfort she can. She watches as a tear rolls down the archer’s cheek, and in that moment she realizes just how gorgeous her eyes are. Foggy ocean blue, filled with viscous waves, red rimmed and unfocused.

“Love still didn’t make sense to me. My mom loves me and maybe a few family members, but was that really love or was that obligation? Were those four years of my life, four years playing a nefarious game, really the type of love that I deserved? Is that the love that I was destined to carry with me for the rest of my life?” Nodding, a wet anger shakes the young CEO’s voice as she holds herself together seemingly by an invisible tattered string. “I let that be true, letting anyone use me. My body became my best friend, something that got me whatever I wanted whenever I slipped off my clothing. An empty shell of who I could’ve been stripped down, exposed, to whoever wanted me that way. It was easier than getting close because how can I get close to someone if I don’t even know the person that they would be getting close to?”

The next pause was long, the older woman wouldn’t even be able to tell you how much time passed as she waited for the younger girl to speak again. Distant traffic sounds the only true thing that she could focus on, the rest of the park mostly cleared out at the moment. Her voice, when it finally does come back, is strong and true. The most confident it has been the entire day, and she could even see the difference in how her body relaxes. “You know…they saved me. I thought I was destined to be just some random guy’s bored housewife that was only around for their body and money. Falling in love with them was the best thing ever, and I work every single day to be a better person so that I never hold them back. I want to make sure that they thrive, and do amazing things, and I just get to be there while it all happens. They are my home, where my heart finds the most comfort.” Wanda’s breath hitches, an ache in her chest as she sits back and listens to the way Kate speaks about you. It wasn’t necessarily the words she spoke, things the witch had heard before, but it was the tone and conviction that the archer had that stopped her heart in her chest.

“I know, Toy is yours. I do, but sometimes I have this horrible wish that I met them first. It isn’t because I don’t want you guys in the picture because I don’t think I can imagine Toy without you guys, or life really without this dynamic now. I just…if i met them first..maybe I would matter more..?” Kate’s voice cracks, trailing off as tears fall. “I know I don’t have many appealing qualities, and that I make life just that much more difficult but maybe if we met earlier…maybe you could have fixed me. I know I’m not enough by myself, but maybe if I had more time with Toy I could have matured enough that you guys would like me more. Maybe..I don’t know.. Maybe the dynamic would be better? Somehow? I’m just…I’m trying my hardest to just be someone…something you want. I want to be perfect or as close I can get to it for you, then maybe you’ll love me and want me even just a fraction of how much you care for Toy.” The insecurities bubbled up, spilling over as the archer rambled on.

Wanda waits, letting those last words hang in the air. The two were never good at the whole relationship side of the dynamic, something that always seemingly was left to their counterparts. It was dawning on the witch that maybe the two of them were more similar than she could have ever realized, the younger girl just a shell of who she could be covered in a well made coat of armor. “You know, Mongrel, maybe you really aren’t that bad. Maybe the dramatics that I’ve been told I’m famous for really shined through with you, and I let it take over too much. I’m pretty happy that Toy brought you home to us.”

Cloudy cobalt eyes snap up, heartbreakingly naive shock spreading across her face as she tries to gauge if Wanda is teasing her. “....I’m home…?”

“Yes..” Wanda hesitates, unsure of what to call the young archer. Her first name is almost foreign along her lips. “...Kate. I know things seem rocky and unnerving but you are more than enough for both Natasha and I. No matter our relationship with Toy, that doesn’t interfere with the foundation that we are trying to build with you. You don’t need fixing, maybe a little bit of training but it’s not because you’re broken or bring the dynamic down. We don’t want to take away who you are, маленький бродяга, because even if you don’t see who you are we can. Natasha and I are just working to help you shine, polish you up a bit, and help you focus so that you can continue to grow and thrive. We want you to be the you that you want in your dreams, but you’re enough now. You’re worth every moment of happiness, irritation, laughter, sorrow. I hear your thoughts, pretty girl, every day and I see the spark inside of you. It’s hidden behind walls and obstacles, and life hasn’t been nice to you, but I see it and at the end of the day I want that small flame to blaze. Set fire to the world because that’s what you remind me of. A strong roaring fire that truly could be an unstoppable force, and to be a part of that journey is an honor. To even be part of your life, even if it ends up being temporary is an honor. For as long as you’ll have us, have me, you are at home with us Kate.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were wiggling in your spot on the counter, watching Natasha cut up different veggies and fruits. Sipping on the juice box she handed you, the little flaps poking out to act as handles, you were excited for Wanda and Kate to get home. The events that caused the day to derail were still unknown to you, but hopefully your idea of a picnic would help everyone come back together and just feel happy. You knew that at the very least Mommy would be happy that you picked out healthy snacks, and at the very least you’ll watch your girlfriend adorably crunch on things.

It’s a quick tickle, fingers digging into your side, that pulls you from your thoughts. She’s handing you a carrot stick, raised eyebrow as she waits for you to complain but you surprise her by happily taking it. The sound of soft crunch accompanies the quiet chopping, your eyes glued to make sure the ginger cuts out all the correct shapes as she finally switches over to the fruit. Smiling you watch her tongue poke out, her forest green eyes focused on the small cuts she has to make. The widow for some reason was against just getting little cookie cutters, but you enjoyed watching her work.

The front door clicking closed catches your attention, and you’re happy that the blanket fort is already set up. As you snack on a heart shaped piece of watermelon you watch as the other half of your dynamic walks into the kitchen, fingers tangled together. Deciding to not mention it, in fear that they would shy away, you instead just wiggle in your spot. “Mommy! Katie!” Jumping off of the counter, you slip slightly on the tile flooring. Your girlfriend’s hand catches you, and you feel magic wrapping around your torso.

“Some things never change, do they little brat?” Flushing with embarrassment at Wanda’s tone you shove yourself into the archer’s side, hiding your face against her shoulder. Kate’s body wiggles as she laughs silently, letting you dig your way deeper into her arms. “It looks like you guys have been busy.” The witch takes note of the light bruises already forming on your arms and around your neck, but points to the living room and the tray of fruit the widow is preparing.

The oldest barely pay attention as they lock eyes, a silent conversation between the two. If you were to stop rambling, excited as you bounce on your toes, the intensity would be obvious but you were too eager to tell your girlfriend all about your day. Twin emerald souls fighting for dominance in a moment that only ends with the ginger rolling her eyes, a testy glare painted across her face as she yields to her more stubborn counterpart. The silent argument comes to an end when you finally catch on, a determined pout stretching across your face.

Reaching out you’re able to hook your fingers into the crook of Wanda’s elbow, pulling her attention to you. An attempt to mask the poked out bottom lip is made but you know by the glare you receive that you failed, but she lets it slide when you start tugging her towards the living room. “Daddy and I set up everything and I even asked for healthy snacks!” You can feel how tense the witch is, the tension in the room is building and even with your back turned it’s like a weight slamming against you.

Looking up at Kate, you can see her eyes are a bit unfocused and distant. Even though the shining glint is there something is dimming the light in her, you can tell a largely dramatic event happened earlier in the day. Completely unsure of what is happening, you can feel the insecurities starting to rise but the pressure to somehow fix it starts clawing at your throat. Swallowing down your own feelings, you let your eyes slam shut as you plop down onto the blankets laid out on the floor. Taking a deep breath in, you try to shake the worries from your body as you can feel the others settle around you.

It’s almost like clock work, barely registering in your mind as you let all your random thoughts that are in your mind drain out through your mouth. Rambling and allowing pent up energy to just mindlessly happen. When Nat finally interrupts you, shoving a fruit kabob into your hand, it shocks you. Hyperfocusing on the different shapes you zone out, even as you are being moved you just nibble at the star shaped apple piece.

Soft kisses along your shoulders, and a gentle hand rubbing up your side, shakes you. “There’s my gorgeous little one, where’d your mind go?” Her voice is gentle, lips moving against your ear. The other half of your group is wrestling over the biggest piece of watermelon, and you can’t help but half-hearted snort. Wrapping your fingers around the older woman’s wrist, you trace along her skin and just lightly shake your head.

Bumping your temple gently against Wanda’s, the two of you settle back as you watch Natasha and Kate roll around. It doesn’t take long for one of them to kiss the other, messy and harsh. It’s almost the exact opposite of the touches that are being left on your body, the witch letting her fingertips do all the work. You can’t quite tell if it’s magical or if it’s actually her, but it’s leaving you panting. “You like watching them, pretty girl?” It’s a question that needs no real answer, she knows the answer. It’s a distraction now, a thing for Wanda to focus on so that she can ignore the gnawing feel in her stomach.

Even as her teasing touch spreads across your body, and you begin wiggling at the sight of the other two, the older woman pushes the forgotten apple star to your mouth. “Don’t go wasting any food, little one.” Mindlessly you nibble on the piece of fruit, obedient even as your mind fixates on the dull throbbing between your thighs. You can see in the corner of your eyes a scarlet mist, floating through the air slowly. It feels warm against your skin and you try your hardest to not make the chaos controller angry, swallowing the last bite down at the first sound of Kate moaning across from you.

Her face is shoved into the pillows on the floor, hands behind her back and Natasha’s favorite strap filling her to the brim. You could see her torn pants thrown, and the bright red nail marks already raising along the porcelain skin. “She’s so pretty isn’t she, detka? All filled with your Daddy’s cock, though I bet your needy little pussy is aching to be full too.” Her thumb makes contact with your clit for the first time, and the chuckle she lets out against your temple makes you clench around nothing. “You’re so wet already, and no one has even touched you babygirl.”

You can already feel your thighs shaking, exerting as much effort as possible to try and keep your legs open without being reprimanded. The feeling of Wanda playing with you is amazing, and it’s pulling you under the thrashing waves in your brain. The space she adores you in, and you know your eyes are glazing over with each word she speaks and each swipe of her thumb. The tingly feeling over your body spreads quickly, and you can feel yourself falling into the trap that she always sets for you. “Not so fast Toy, go over to those two for me. I’ll be there in a minute.”

She’s pushing your body forward, urging the crawling before you can really register what is happening but Kate’s head is yanked up as you get closer. Her moans and whimpers loud now that they aren’t muffled, echoing in the small blanket fort. Oceans blue eyes are glazed over and for the first time there’s a different vibe to this half of the quad. “Look at the pretty Toy, lil mutt. Why don’t you ask if she wants you to play with her?”

The shock is hard to hide when you realize that Nat isn’t being rough with your girlfriend, her tone is light–almost playful as she ruts into her. You had never really seen the two of them be gentle, but you couldn’t help but admire it. You barely remember to answer when Kate finally does ask you, a muttered yes as she pulls you to lay in front of her. Legs falling apart, spread out in front of her face, Kate’s eyes clear momentarily as she wiggles happily.

Her first lick at you is hesitant, unsure without the permission of Natasha, but when no reprimanding comes about her tongue leaves more pressure. You so desperately want to keep your head up, watching as she struggles to focus between your thighs, but when she sucks your clit into her mouth your head slams back against the floor. “That’s such a good little mutt, wind up our precious toy.”

Kate’s moans vibrate through your body, each snap of the ginger’s hips push both of you to the edge. The sloppy tongue lapping at you slips into you, the hand in her hair forcing her forward until the tip of her nose rubs up against your clit. You want to make fun of her, tease her just a little that she’s getting fucked so good that she can’t even focus on you. All thoughts go out the window when you make eye contact with her, the dark cobalt almost black eyes staring you down screaming a silent plea.

The sight Wanda comes back to is something that she always finds magical, even more so than the type she controls. She loves watching her girls all in sync, desperate to get the other ones off. It’s messy and it makes her chuckle, knowing the three of them are always just slightly lost without her there. Slipping behind Natasha, the witch lets her hands smooth up her stomach as it flexes. “Come on Natsy, you’re barely fucking your mutt. Something wrong?”

The older Avenger grunts, trying to shake the hands off of her body to no avail. She knows she won’t be able to shove off the witch when she’s in this mood, so she just huffs and focuses on the way her hips snap into the archer. Watching her strap disappear into her wetness, a shiny gleam left behind. Seeing her cunt stretch around her cock is something that the Russian can never truly get over, a sight that not many get to see. Hearing the muffled whimpers as Kate tries her best to stay coherent enough to get you off is driving the older woman crazy, struggling to keep the atmosphere that is set for the scene.

She knows something happened during her counterparts’ day out, the two came back entirely different, and while she had no idea what occurred she didn’t want to break the light bubble they created. She knew that the other three were having a blast, but she was scared that if she allowed herself to fall into the soft side of the world with the mutt that she wouldn’t be able to climb out of it at the end of the day.

Wanda sighs, watching the ginger’s eyes glaze over as her movements go into autopilot. Knowing that the rest of the night can’t have Natasha in charge, she moves around the group. Pulling Kate’s face from your cunt with her magic, she chuckles when she sees the unfocused eyes and wet chin. “We’re moving this cute little nest upstairs, brace yourselves.” Reaching down to cradle your head, she winks at you before you all are magically transported up stairs. The lights floating above you now, and the blankets acting as curtains hiding you all from the rest of the world.

You’re sitting between the witch’s legs, and if you wiggle just right you can feel your favorite strap rubbing against your ass. Kate is still bouncing with the gentle thrusts, and you can see the widow who is staring down at her. Wanda’s arm wraps around you, pulling you up enough for her to swipe the tip of her strap through your folds. “You’re going to be a good girl and grind on Mommy’s cock, and you’re little stray is going to put her tongue to work on your aching clit. How does that sound? I know you’re just so desperate to get off, little one.” With a curl of her finger, scarlet mist wraps around the archer’s neck pulling her forward until she is just out of reach of your pussy.

Slowly, her hand on your hip guides you down the length of her cock. It’s always a bit of stretch no matter how many times she fucks you with it, and it makes you whine every single time. Pathetic and high pitched, your noises just makes Kate squirm; impatience setting in.

Eyes flutter as you finally bottom out, the feeling of being full settling in your stomach makes you already start to feel all fuzzy. “Mommy…so full” Your voice is already slurred, the arousal that burned in your stomach while your girlfriend ate you out came back with a blazing vengeance quickly. Clenching around her cock made you whimper, pushing yourself closer to the edge accidentally. “Wanna cum please.”

Wanda giggles, an almost too innocent sound right up against your ear. “Oh baby, I love how stupid you get when you’re filled with my cock. Just a mindless little toy anytime I fill you, and you wanna know the best part, my love?” You barely nod, head falling back against her shoulder. She moves your hips so that the head of her strap is rubbing against the soft spot inside of you. “Mommy is going to fill you with her cum, going to claim you and paint your walls with crimson so that no one else can ever touch you without my permission again.”

Wanda wasn’t quite sure where the sudden possessiveness came from, maybe it was the deep fear that someone could lay their hands on you without being allowed to or maybe it was just the need to remind you that she owns you. She lets her nails drag heavily against the glowing mark on your ribs, smiling to herself when she sees her hips jump. Regardless she watches your wetness drip around her cock, leaving Kate to lick her lips as she struggles to not surge forward. Letting her free hand lay along your stomach, pressing gently, she smiles against your neck as you let out a feral moan. “Free, Stray.”

Kate barely waits for the two words to fully leave Wanda’s mouth, rushing forward to lick around the strap. She moans against you, vibrations making your eyes roll back, as she gets another taste of you. Wrapping her lips around your clit, she looks up at your face as she sucks. Seeing you blissed out, eyes completely unfocused as you try to nod along with whatever the witch is whispering into your ear makes her own arousal skyrocket. With each snap of the ginger’s hips, she forces the young girl towards the edge and leaves her hanging. She knows that the witch probably wants the two of them to cum together so Natasha tries her hardest to not mess with the idea.

It’s almost embarrassing how close you are so quickly, but you try to remind yourself that you are still overly sensitive from earlier that day. Your cunt still red, raw, and puffy from the abuse that it withstood from your Daddy. You try to remind yourself of these things when Wanda’s hand wraps around your throat, rings digging into your pulse point. Vision blurring as your moans and whimpers become incoherent, the only you can really focus on is how each mumbled word spoken into your ear is cracking the tense coil in your stomach.

Your thighs are shaking and you can’t even tell if you’re actually moving anymore or if it’s the magic wrapped around you. Opening your mouth you try to beg for something, anything because you don’t want this night to end. Even if there is an underlying tenseness, you feel like something happened that changed the dynamic forever; something so amazing and you want to live in this moment forever. You know you can’t, your self control over your orgasm is long gone and you’re just holding on for dear life. Breathing is entirely too difficult, but that’s okay because you can feel every single thing.

Wanda’s lips, a subtle smile as she talks you through everything. Her strap rubbing against the most sensitive part inside of you, and the coil shattering. Kate’s lips wrapped around your clit, her teeth grazing it every so often making your hips jump. Natasha’s hips brutally rutting into your girlfriend, with each thrust shoving her face up against you. It’s too much and tears quickly spill down your cheeks as you sob. Overwhelmed and stuck on the edge until you’re given permission, your frustration bubbles over and you know that it’s exactly what the witch wanted when she takes over for you. Her hips thrusting up into you, as her magic pushes the archer’s face away from you. “That’s it baby, let it all out. You’re gonna cum for Mommy right after she cums in you. Understand? You don’t have to ask.”

Nodding aggressively, you aren’t even sure if she answers. Holding on for dear life, you can feel the older woman start to lose control and her hips are ramming into you with a force that makes your head flop around. The feeling of her cum shooting into you, flooding you with warmth, almost makes you lose control but it’s Kate reaching up and tangling your fingers together that shatters the coil in your stomach. Waves of blazing arousal searing their way throughout your body, and it’s almost too painful.

The kisses left along the nape of your neck are soothing as you attempt to control your breathing, your heart racing as your body deals with the aftershocks. Entirely too sleepy, and your brain can’t even comprehend the words that Wanda is whispering to you. The only thing that even makes sense is when she says Mommy. When you finally open your eyes, you see Natasha pinning Kate down, licking slowly at her face as it drips with wetness. It makes you whine and even though you’re entirely too overstimulated your hips mindlessly grind down on the strap still firmly inside you.

A tap along your temple, and a gentle kiss to your cheek, is the last thing you remember before your eyes flutter closed. “Playtime is over, detka.” Wanda’s hushed voice echoing through your head as your body relaxes completely into hers.

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The two are leaning against the bed frame, silent as they watch their two younger counterparts sleep. Though they just finished having fun, they know that their issues aren’t fixed. Their days were completely different, both coming out of the experiences with what feels like renewed energy is slightly throwing off their own personal relationship dynamic. The ginger can’t help how her gaze flickers over to her girlfriend, emotions threatening to bubble up her throat. Gnawing on her bottom lip, her eyebrows furrow as she tries to figure out what she wants to say.

“You know, the longer you stare at me the louder the little sighs you let out get.” Wanda’s winks teasingly at the older woman, a small smirk pulling at the corner of her lips.

The Russian pulls a pillow into her lap, careful to not disturb the heavy head leaning on her leg. She lets the silence blanket around the group as she gathers her thoughts. “I’m not proud of it, but I took my anger with you out on the little toy today. I know that they don’t care, and that it’s something that they in theory enjoy but I never wanted to do that. It was something that I told myself I wouldn’t do, no matter how much she likes it.” The widow shushes the young witch when she goes to speak, an attempt to calm her thoughts. “No, you know I wanted a different type of dynamic with them. I didn’t want that kind of roughness, and disconnect. It works for some relationships, and it’s beautiful between you two but it was never what we built ours around. Seeing you and Kate come home, from whatever you guys did, it sort of hit me how unfair it could be perceived. How I let my anger take over the power I have over them, she just wanted to eat popcorn and watch her little movie. Something happened when you two were out, something good, and on the opposite end I feel like I caused issues.” Nails scratching at her shins, a nervous tick that Wanda picks up on immediately and reaches out to lay a gentle hand on her.

It takes a moment but when Wanda finally talks, her voice cracks a few times. “I- this isn’t really the environment to talk about your issues, now is it Natalia?” The ginger’s head shoots up, shock and despair filling her body. Anger wasn’t what she was expecting from the witch right now, if anything she thought that she would be in tune with the emotions that she’s freely showing. Her younger girlfriend is always asking for her to express what she is thinking and feeling without the need for magic, and here she’s doing that but it’s being met with hostility.

Before either could make another snarky comment, Kate’s body jostles as she starts waking up. Rolling over, rubbing at her eyes, she’s surprised to see the older women staring down at her. Awkwardly waving at the two, the archer rolls around in an attempt to sit up without waking you. Even after the three settle comfortably on the bed, your head nestled against the youngest’s thigh, the silence lays heavy over them. Just as the Russian was going to speak up, she is interrupted by a shaky voice. “Wanda you don’t have to treat me like I’m going to break the moment you touch me.”

It’s blunt and even with the waver in her voice it still shocks the older women, neither really hearing her be so confident in a statement towards them before. The moment of conviction, even though brief, is already taking a toll on the youngest. Kate curling in on herself, slow as she still takes your sleeping form into consideration. Almost as if the archer is protecting not only herself but you, the only other person who had ever seen her so vulnerable. Even though you aren’t an active participant of the conversation, you lay there as a barrier between the three.

The relief that floods Kate’s body when Wanda finally picks up on her silent pleas, her quiet voice filling the air as she relays the words that are stuck clinging to the walls of the younger brunette’s throat. Focusing instead on the way you breathe in your sleep, chest rising slowly with each indication that you are safe and alive. Your eyes are moving about, dreaming of something, and for the moment the archer is able to focus on the fact that you are breathing.

Even as the words fall from her mouth, and she can see the emotions flooding the ginger’s eyes in her peripheral vision, Wanda can’t help but stare at the two of you. Something in her heart was telling her that she needed to listen to Natasha. She has what she needed, she loves the spy and knew that in her soul but she couldn’t help but want just a little more. When she met you, she knew she had to have you; but never in what capacity. It was something that was ever growing, never something stationary.

She never really thought that she would ever have to decide, a part of her always believed that you would be forever obsessed with her; and Natasha in extension. The year long mission was something that wrecked all of her plans, the downfall of her control. Control not only over you, but over herself. She knew that it wouldn’t be long until someone fell for you, and while she would have preferred for you to not find yourself infatuated with them she knew that it didn’t matter.

The mark that lays along your ribs, a moment of weakness and desperation, is a reminder of the devotion she has to you. A physical representation of her inner thoughts, even if you just thought it was her possession and ownership over you. Now, watching this moment between you and Kate, it’s different for Wanda. She sees something that could even break her magic, something that nothing can break and it’s starting to take a toll on her mind.

The Sokovian doesn’t realize that she’s whispering by the end of the story, stopping just at the archer’s feelings for you. Blinking, she tears her gaze from the two of you, pointedly avoiding the ginger’s curious look when the youngest speaks up. “I don’t..this isn’t something that I want to change the dynamic. If I thought I couldn’t handle it I wouldn’t be here, and anyways they help me a lot whenever they think it's overwhelming.” The ocean blue eyes are calm, void of waves crashing against one another, as she looks down at you. “I always thought love was this fight, something that if it was rocky and unstable then it wasn’t real. I thought that love was aggressive and mean, leaving you to trudge through this fog that never let up even after finally finding the other person.”

She doesn’t notice the other two, retracting into themselves as their thoughts begin to take over and leave them gasping for air as the waves that no longer find homage in the archer’s eyes start to drown them. “Until I met this nerdy quiet girl, who somehow saw straight through every single one of my normal games. It didn’t matter what I said or what stupid line I used, even though text, she had me wrapped around her finger the moment we started talking. I learned that love is a fight, but it isn’t violent or angry. You have to fight for each other.” Her voice hushes as you move around in your sleep, subconsciously gripping her shirt as you pull her closer.

Wanda’s eyes flicker when she gets a flash of strong emotion from Natasha, something that momentarily breaks her normal stoic mask before she is able to paste it back together. The witch wants to reach out, apologize for everything and comfort the widow but she knows that this isn’t the time nor place to do so. This isn’t about them and she can see the assassin slowly building even more walls then she originally had. “It isn’t about fighting each other, nor is it fighting to be that number one position in their lives. As their partner shouldn’t be their number one priority. You came into their lives, you know? They had an entire life before you, family and friends and responsibilities. Their life was filled with things pulling their attention and their focus, and as a partner I learned it isn’t about fighting for attention. It’s about fighting for your partner. There’s days where maybe they can’t do everything, so you do it for them. There will be days where maybe they can’t put everything into you because it isn’t fair to expect them to, and that’s when you fight for them. You fight to make their life easier and make it more enjoyable, to make sure that when everything else in life is finally slowed down that they can live in the moment with you. You aren’t there to take over their life but make it better, and make the time you have with them some of the best memories they could ever even imagine.”

Kate sighs, finally lifting her head to look at the other two. “I know this isn’t everything that love is about, and maybe I’m so wrong but for me that’s how I see it.” She looks so small as she starts to second guess everything she just said. The silence starts to make her anxious but when she makes eye contact with Wanda her muscles relax.

Shaking her head, the witch’s eyes flash red as she tries her hardest to settle the insecurities bubbling into the young brunette’s head. She knows that the conversation is over, and while this wasn’t exactly how she thought this would go she knows that there was no point. Natasha has already withdrawn into herself, the mask back as protection. Wanda watches as the ginger stands and begins her normal bedtime routine, footsteps not making a sound as she pads around the room.

Kate opens her mouth to say something but the older brunette just shushes her gently, leaning over and leaving a soft kiss on her cheek. “Lay down, malý zatúlaný. We’ll talk more later, okay?” It almost breaks her heart as Kate settles in bed, curling slowly around your body with a blank stare as she whispers out a confirmation that she heard the plans. “This isn’t about you, yes? I need you to know that. I meant what I said earlier, and us knowing what happened doesn’t change anything. Natasha just needs a moment to deal with things outside of this, and then she will come back.” It’s enough for the young CEO to relax a bit, color returning to her face as she lets the words sink into her heart.

Slowly walking out of the room, Wanda makes sure that the two wouldn’t wake up as she shuts the door before she briskly walks down the hall to where she knows the widow would be just sitting. Scoffing as she sees her making a cup of tea, the witch cracks her neck as she sets her hands on the counter. “You know, I never thought you would be such a heartless bitch but once an emotionless assassin always one apparently.”

Natasha takes her time, stirring the honey into her tea as she normally would and even taking a taste of it before finally turning around to face the witch. Her vibrant forest green eyes rimmed with red as she held back tears, a fake smile plastered on her face. “You think I don’t care about the life of Kate, don’t you? I’m just a soulless monster? Let’s talk about you and your dreams, about the things you know you’re destined to become.”

Wanda laughs, high pitched and delirious. “This wasn’t about you or your feelings Natalia. Tonight was the time to put everything about yourself to the side and be there for Kate, and you couldn’t even do that. You couldn’t be selfless for even a fucking hour and I think it’s ironic you bring up a stupid prophecy when you were literally born to be a killer. We both were fucked from the moment we took a breath on this stupid rock, Romanoff. You were the one who told me that, and guess what it’s coming back to haunt you.” The agent thought the witch would be angry, let her emotions get the best of her, but for the first time it’s almost like she’s numb.

The older woman sighs, taking a sip of her tea as she stares at the younger girl over the rim of the mug. Steam almost distorts the image of her counterpart as she lets her words sink in, thinking over what she wants to say. “You know, it’s really funny that you talk about putting our feelings to the side and being all altruistic. Aren’t you the one drooling over Kate’s girlfriend? You think I didn’t see your little heart eyes literally while you were talking about the traumatic experiences? What do you think she would think if she knew your true feelings, hm? She’s oh so protective over the little toy, you really think she would trust you with her heart? Especially because you can’t hide who you are going to become, it’s destiny that you fall into that madness; at least mine was always around.” Setting down her cup, she takes a seat on the bar stool so that she can comfortably lounge.

“Maybe Kate would be mad, maybe she would be hesitant but let me ask you a question. What will our little princess think when her precious Daddy doesn’t love her? That when you look at her, it isn’t who you want to see anymore? You don’t just call her anymore to see her, but to see if her girlfriend will show up too? I might be destined for madness but at the end of it I’ll still have my Toy, and in the end I believe I’ll have Kate too. What will you have? Your anger and regret?” Wanda spins around, deciding that she is done with this conversation. She has a pull, a need to be near both you and Kate.

“She’s OUR toy and Kate is MY mutt!” Natasha is leaning across the counter now, hands slapping down on the marble.

The echoing mocking laughter rings in her ears as she watches the witch walk away, “We’ll see about that.” It isn’t yelled, but placed in her mind as she watches the younger woman slip into the bedroom. The lock clicking into place is a sure sign that she would be sleeping on the couch tonight.

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