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#*because asexuality is not discussed here*
mx-myth · 6 months
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Personally as an aroace being in a queerplatonic relationship and/or a poly relationship sound really freeing to me. I feel like in a QPR there would be less pressure to be more amatonormative or present that way. The kind of "omg I totally thought you guys were dating" sort of relationship that just comes from the pure intimacy of willing to be comfortable around each other and to be intimate without necessarily having to involve kissing/sex/"real" intimacy (and the possible aro or ace solidarity). Meanwhile in a poly relationship I feel like at least for me there would be less pressure be "involved" to an extent. A whole other person (or people) would negate a lot of anxiety on my part enough not being enough (especially if one or more of them are alloromantic). And potentially that's someone who can provide romance or sex that I just can't.
Obviously these are still relationships that you consciously need to put work into maintain and have open lines of communication and discussions of boundaries, etcetera, just like any "normal" relationship but that's really the point here. I'm not allo (and I'm perfectly fine with being "abnormal" by most societal standards, but that's obviously not true for all of us) in any way, shape, or form, so why should I have to fit myself into a little allo box?
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tr1ppykay · 2 days
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I hope you know that there’s always a place that you’ll be welcome, even if you’re thrown away from other places due to your identity.
You’re a bi genderfluid man, and anyone that tries to change that (other than you) or take the piss out of your identity can try to parry the crowd of bees I just guided towards them
hi thanks, this means a lot. logically i do know that there are queer spaces welcoming to me, its just that *finding* them is a complicated issue. i tend to socially isolate because of trauma- growing up, my ADHD symptoms were mocked by both my peers AND authority figures in my life- i was severely bullied by other kids for being weird, and my parents/teachers regularly treated me as an annoyance/burden/mistake. I default to assuming that everyone always wants me to leave because of this. so when i try to meet other queer people like me irl, and the handful of assholes decide to tell me I should leave because "women" who like men or "women" who decide to become men aren't welcome, it reinforces those thoughts and sours the whole experience. its equally a me-problem and a problem of how people like me are perceived in queer spaces. if had no trauma, I would be able to shrug the assholes off. but then again, if there were no exclusionary assholes, people with similar trauma to mine would be more welcome- and i don't think queer people should have to fully heal from trauma to feel safe in their own community.
my experiences with ableism, antimasculism, and SGA-superiority all come together to create the perfect cocktail that leads to most queer spaces excluding me. I think my anecdotes speak to this specific intersection between my identities as a neurodivergent bisexual transmasc.
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raine-moore · 2 years
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Pride Post seven! We're halfway there! Our first protagonist is here! With some spoilers because this post discusses a relationship that happens later than others and has other plot spoilers in them.
Alinos (right) and Achron (left), their names are written in their native language each. Arnervath'ian for Alinos and Ithachronkin for Achron.
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Fun Fact: I think they're absolutely adorable around each other! If it were not for the enemies-to-lovers aspect they'd be relationship goals for me. And if Achron hadn't literally killed millions of people. But, oh well, we all have our fictional emotional support mass murderer/war criminal.
Alinos is the captain of the Royal Guard of the Swamp Realm, first division, and therefore Crown Princess Latrana's companion, best friend, handmaiden (or whatever the male term is, idc) and bodyguard, while also commanding all guards assigned to protect the Crown Princess.
He was sent to apply for that position by his father, who had trained him all of his six years of life up to that point to get that job. Of course, Alinos had not wanted to separate from his family, but was convinced after his father explained that they desperately needed the money to feed Alinos' younger siblings and couldn't do it without him. Yes, I do believe that counts as a form of child abuse. Like I said, Nafyr and Lanor are the only good parents to a core cast member.
Alinos succeeded in the mental and physical trials and was one of 20 children presented to 7 year old Latrana to pick from. As is standard, it took a week in which Latrana got to know the other kids and she picked Alinos, despite her parents asking her to reconsider maybe choosing a girl, as was conventional, but Latrana got along with the only other aroacespec person in the room and liked him the most.
Alinos was trained by the best of the best the Kingdom had to offer, so he could protect Latrana. As soon as he turned 10, it was officially his duty to ensure her safety, even if that meant taking an arrow for her. If he failed, he would be imprisoned for life, or worse.
No pressure. /s
Of course, his position had a lot of advantages, free food and shelter within the royal halls, free education in the Tower of Masters, political influence, a handsome wage Alinos couldn't spend on his own if he tried, and, best of all, a friendship with Latrana. Though as they grew older their relationship grew beyond friendship, though not in a romantic or sexual sense, in their late teens, the two formed a Queer Platonic Relationship.
While Alinos loves Latrana, his work and Latrana's young cousin/basically adoptive daughter Saera, he does enjoy having time for himself to paint, an opportunity he gets once a month, at maximum.
Achron had a very sheltered upbringing. As the youngest of the gods, his family had already established their absolute power over the world for centuries by the time he was born. All mortals revered him and started the construction of temples and shrines for him, as soon as the news of his birth broke. As the second child of Rhamin and Xipae, he enjoyed even more of his parents' time and security than his older sister. He was educated by his parents for most of his life, with his grandparents dropping by now and again to provide him with lessons.
He met Alinos thousands of years later. How long it had been exactly, he didn't know and he couldn't care less. The only reason he had for keeping an eye on times and dates was to know how long he had left with Alinos and he was sure to make that time the best of Alinos' life. Even better than painting on the royal docks while chatting and laughing with Latrana and Saera. It was a very high bar, but Achron just wants Alinos to be happy for as much as possible. Luckily, he's not obsessive about it. If Alinos asks him to stop anything, he stops, no questions asked.
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irritablepoe · 1 year
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Having a great sense of justice is one thing but it is also very annoying when i'm discussing an emotional topic (for me at least) with another person. Like, i have really good points to make but my emotions get the best of me and my arguments are then seen as weak because i'm stumbling over my words.
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From some of the discourse I've seen, I've gotten the impression that some people think intersectionality is like math. Let me explain.
Some people think of certain identities as universally giving privilege (we'll say these have a value of +1) and some as universally taking privileged/causing discrimination/bigotry/etc. (we'll say these have a value of -1).
And what I've seen is that people will add these values and decide how hard someone has it based on the value of the product.
For example: A white (+1) Christian (+1) gay (-1) man (+1) would have a score of 2, since 1+1-1+1 is 2. (Keep in mind I'm not saying people literally do this sort of math, though I have actually seen charts that do, it's more of a way of illustrating a way of thinking I've seen.)
The problem with this, of course, is that this isn't how the world works at all. Depending on where he lived and his situation in general, that white Christian gay man could be bullied severely, called slurs, or even beaten and killed--all things you wouldn't expect going off a score of 2--because intersectionality is not like math. And because, in some places, this man's gayness would overshadow all his other identities.
Also, this mathy way of looking at things fails to consider how identities interact with each other. For instance, (and this is something several of my mutuals, but especially @dysphoria-things, have discussed in the past) a trans man's identity as a man does *not* serve to "cancel out" his being trans in the eyes of society. First, many won't even view him as a man. Second, even if he is viewed as a man by a certain group, he still may be subject to less explicit forms of transphobia. Not to mention the expectation many hold that he perform his man-ness in order for them to keep seeing him as a man. There's a lot more to unpack here specifically, but the previously mentioned mutual has already done many many posts on this, and is more qualified to speak on this than I am as a cis person, so I suggest you go check that blog out if you want to hear more on this topic.
Another example would be one of *my* identity intersections. That of being aromantic and allosexual. Now, being allosexual (not asexual) is not a minority identity. However, it by no means "cancels-out" my aromanticism. In fact, the specific combination of this majority identity (allosexuality) with my aromanticism actually leads to some seriously nasty assumptions and stereotypes. Because what do you think goes through the majority of people's (especially conservative's) heads when they hear "Oh I'm attracted to people sexually, but not romantically." Nothing flattering.
Point is, intersectionality is not like math. Having a majority identity does not necessarily mean that identity will always be rewarded (especially depending on the combination with a minority identity), and also this way of thinking is one thing that can start people down the "oppression-olympics/who has it worst" route, which is helpful and productive to exactly no one. The world is complicated, society is complicated, and people are complicated. And anything boiled down this much is usually inaccurate enough to be useless or actively harmful. Thank you for coming to my TED-talk.
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lua-magic · 4 months
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Seventh house sign and what you attract in your life
Here, I am mentioning about the sign in which your seventh house falls, and not the planets.
Planets I will discuss in my later blog.
Seventh house Aries.
You will attract partner who has martian qualities.
Could be short tempered and ready to fight, now if you have planets here, like malefic planets then it shows frequent fights with partner, but if you have benefic here, then effect would be reduced.
Mars not alway represents fight, but good Mars represents safety, security and possesive and protection.
So, partner could be possessive and make you feel safe and secure as well as well.
Seventh house in Taurus.
Your spouse will have all the qualities of Venus, self love, self care, obsessed with beauty and food, shopholics, love to dress and groom.
Taurus is also quite logical sign and agressive as well, so partner would be logical and aggressive and flirtatious as well.
Seventh house in Gemini.
Partner will have all the qualities of Mercury like communication, skilled, looks quite young, child like, playful and big prankster and sarcastic.
Mercury is asexual so spouses could be detached sexually.
Seventh house in cancer.
Spouse would be emotional, and could cry easily, and you have to communicate with him/her emotionally.
Spouse could also have all mother like emotions, and probably think you as their kid more than spouse.
Seventh house in Leo.
Baundaries, baundaries and baundaries.
Remember my seventh house Leo ladies and gentlemen never cross your baundaries because you are dealing here with king .
So maintain your baundaries.
Spouse could think highly about themselves, and their ego could get hurt fast. They respect and love themselves alot
Seventh house in Virgo.
Love to analyse you and judge you.
They take out all the mistakes in you and constantly find faults and do lot of nitpicking.
Here, you need to draw clear baundaries and tell them what is acceptable and what is not
Seventh house in Libra.
Loves to communicate, all friends like character, quite libral and fun loving character and balanced emotionaly.
You both will be like ☯️ yin and yang.
Seventh house in Scorpio
You will spouse who struggled alot in their past and has lot of past life emotions and traumas stored.
You must support them emotionally.
Scorpio is also sign of secrets and occult, so your partner could be secretive and even into occult.
Seventh house in sagg.
You guys will attract spouse who are like teacher and counselor to you, they would love to advise you and correct you.
Quite Frank and upfront about your mistakes and help you to make long terms plans for you .
Seventh house in Capricorn.
Native attracts partner who are workholic, logical and give importance to work life
Native could also marry their colleagues or meet their partner in work.
Seventh house in Aquarius.
Native attracts partner with large friends Group and are quite popular in their friends, partner is ambitious and probably could have large fan bas on social media.
Seventh house in piesces.
Native attracts soulmate from their past life
They could dream of their soulmate alot before or after meeting them.
Especially, if women has their Jupiter or seventh lord and man has Venus or seventh lord in piesces then it is mostly past life connection.
Mercury in seventh house gives native karmic connections, and native stays friends with their ex as well.
They usually marry their friends and and have very friendly relationship with their partners.
Venus in seventh house gives native connections who are quite fast to move on after break-up, as Venus is fast moving planet. Venus here gives partner who loves to spend money as well and are flirty in nature..
Mars here creates fight in relationship, untill and unless you marry partner who has exalted Mars
Mars seventh house natives should look for people whose Mars is exalted, then only it will be an energy match.
Sun in Libra, could create marital problems and ego clash, such natives are advised to be more grounded in relationship.
Jupiter here, gives spiritual partner, and also restricts sexual life pleasure.
Saturn in Libra people go for long term relationship, as Saturn is exalted here.
Moon here again gives multiple partners and relationship and cause dissatisfaction from their own partner.
South node creates first obsession with marriage and at later stage native becomes detached to marital life .
North node gives multiple relationship, and high sexual desires, hence, native should be careful of heartbreaks.
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writer-ace · 1 year
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I watched the asexual and aromantic communities get eaten away at by exclusionists and proto-TERFs and queer people making fun of microlabels and people who talked about how they just wanted all of us to stop dividing ourselves so much and people who decided that the concept of the Split Attraction Model was homophobic and people who flooded the ace and aro tags with porn and--
Well, you get the point.
But now a lot of people on this site don't know about ace culture and modern history, so here's some stuff you should know about:
The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) was started in 2001 by asexuality activist David Jay as a forum and educational space about asexuality.
A Carnival of Aces, which is a monthly blogging carnival on ace topics, has been taking place since May 2011 and has included such topics as coming out, non-traditional relationships styles and polyamory, asexual education (which I hosted), and labels and microlabels.
The Split Attraction Model is one model for talking about sexual and romantic orientation that splits out those two orientations, allowing individuals to describe sexual attraction/orientation as distinct from romantic orientation (e.g., aromantic bisexual, heteroromantic grey-asexual). While this model is primarily used by people on the ace and aro spectrums, it can be used by anyone who wants to discuss or describe sexual orientation as being separate from romantic orientation.
The AVEN triangle (or asexuality triangle) is a black and white or greyscale triangle that originated from taking the Kinsey scale and extending it down into another axis to address/acknowledge the range of attraction between what's on the Kinsey scale (allosexuality) and no sexual attraction (asexuality). It's generally presented as white at the horizontal line at the top and then black at the point at the bottom, often with a gradation of shades of grey down to the bottom.
Microlabels are specific (sometimes very narrow) labels for sexualities, romantic orientations, and genders. While these are not aro- or ace-specific, they were often associated with those communities because there was a culture of having nuanced conversations about narrow definitions, often by people couldn't find something that fit their experience in the standard L, G, B, or T lexicon. Demiromantic/demisexual, cupioromantic/cupiosexual, and quoiromantic/quoisexual are all examples of micro-labels.
The ace ring, a black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand (generally) is a symbol of asexuality that some ace people wear. It originated on AVEN in 2005 when people were looking for a symbol that was rather covert.
Cake has also been an ace symbol, mostly from the idea that ace people agree that cake is better than sex. It used to be common to see a drawing of a cake with the ace flag colors.
The ace of (heart/spades/clubs/diamonds) has at times been used as a symbol for different ace spectrum/aro spectrum combinations. Ace of hearts is generally agreed on as alloromantic asexual and ace of spades as aromantic asexual (aroace or aro/ace). Ace of clubs is sometimes for grey-romantic asexual and ace of diamonds sometimes for demiromantic asexual, but those are less common.
Dragons were also associated with the ace community, at least on Tumblr. I'm less certain where this one came from (theories include that they're mythological creatures the way ace people are seen to be or that it's because there were headcanons that Charlie Weasley was ace).
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penguinsfly · 2 months
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I unfortunately saw something I didn't want to see and that was my last straw. I'm fucking doing this.
Let's establish this first. Alastor is stated in the show to be asexual that is not up to discussion. He is also very heavily implied in the same conversation to be aromatic. 'An Ace in the hole' being used in context of him being with Charlie is also implying his aromanticism.
VIDEO
If that's not enough then here is Viv speaking about his romantic orientation. It's pretty clear despite the fact that afterwards she said it's okay to headcanon whatever (it's not but I will get o that later) that he is written purely as an aro ace character.
On top of that going by Alastor's interaction with Angel from the pilot and the first episode it is clear that he is sex repulsed. Not only that but on the fandom website he is stated to be touch averse with two sources which you can check out on the website.
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Hazbin hotel wiki, Alastor page
Now we established that Alastor is canonically Asexual, Aromantic, Sex Repulsed and Touch Averse
As I also am all of the above I'll try to explain everything to the best of my ability as simply as I can.
Aromanticism and Asexuality.
I'm probably targeting the audience that knows those terms but regardless I will explain it anyway.
Aromantic - people that experience little to no romantic attraction towards any gender
Asexual - people that experience little to no sexual attraction towards any gender.
Little to no
Asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums in which people can feel certain attractions towards people but those attractions are less occurring or are defined by personal connection.
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Diagram from AVEN website
However some people are at the end of the spectrum, they never felt attraction and that's valid. Alastor was stated to be aroace he wasn't written as demi or as gray he was written as aroace as in the end of the spectrum. His repulsion and not giving shit about romance or sex speaks for itself.
Representation
I do understand that everyone wants to be represented but it's so important to understand that aroace people are one of the most underrepresented queer groups in the media.
And I'm not here to scream about how I want my fav character to be just like me I don't care for it I'm way too confident in my orientation to rely on that however I'm tired of explaining to people what asexuality and aromanticism is just to receive 'are you sure' or 'you'll change your mind' or 'its not real' or the community favourite 'you'll find the right person' no I won't I'm not looking thank you very much (I just smile and nod to be polite and I'm sick of it).
'Harmless' buts like: 'He might be on the spectrum', 'AroAce people can still feel attraction' hurt the final outcome for all the people on the spectrum not only strictly aroaces because it allows people to write one shots with 'Demi Alastor' that falls in love in 2000 words because he is 'demi' (spoiler alert: they don't understand what that label means). It's just a cover, an opening, sneaky way to disregard his orientation, feel good about themselves and move on. Newsflash there is no moving on for aroace people it's our life.
Shipping
Shipping is just harmless fun right? Usually yes but not in this case. In the same way its not okay to ship gay characters with genders they are not attracted to.
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It's erasure and since there is much less people identifying on aro/ace spectrums then there is gay or bi people our voices are being silenced. Not to mention that gay people received support from entire LGBTQIA+ community over the years in contrast to aro/ace specs who to this day are told that we are 'not queer enough' or 'not oppressed enough' often by other queer people.
And finally... FINALLY we get cannon Aro/Ace character that is clearly not interested in romance and sex. Character that beats stereotypes of boring and timid aro/ace people and what's the first people do? They ship him. Alastor's storyline provides so many points to be explored like 'what is his backstory', ' what's about his deal', ' how does he fit in in the found family trope' , 'does he care about hotel guests' yet people choose to write about the only thing that he is not interested in. As a heavily repulsed person that used to be horrified about the fact that I'll have to fall in love with somebody at some point before I found out what aro/ace is I find it repulsive and trust me he would too.
But Viv said it's okay!
Its the same point once again. What if Viv said that it's okay to ship gay Angel with woman. She doesn't have authority to say shit like that.
Queerplatonic relationships
I can't tell you not to do it I don't think he would be necessary interested in it but for fuck sake do your research and try to understand what queerplatonic means before you use it as a cover to shamelessly ship him. Respect the fact that he is sex repulsed and touch averse and you're fine.
Why can't you just avoid it?
First of all I shouldn't have to. Alastor's orientation should be respected in the fandom like any other orientation is. Second of all I've tried. I tried to only look up AroAce Alastor tag I've blocked over 80 people on tumblr alone (I just counted) to avoid to see anything that could trigger me and I'm not talking about slightly shippy posts or fanarts I'm talking about full blown disregard towards his orientation. Guess what it didn't work!
Archive of our own where do I start. I've used this website for over a decade and I could probably count days I didn't go there on my fingers. I'm fluent in AO3 I know which tags I should block. I know how to skim thorough the summary and tags to see if I'm interested. I've seen shit I'm a shipper I've been on ao3 for ten years but never had to mentally prepare myself to face queerphobia as I click on the tab.
Just use aro/ace Alastor tag.
I do and let me tell you people can't tag for shit or they just pretend to be clueless at this point. Besides see this?
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there is more ff with Alastor/reader (disgusting) than there is Alastor with his canon orientation and to play the devils advocate for arophobic people there is more Angel/Alastor then his stated in the show sexuality. I understand that fandom goes back before the show was aired but Viv confirmed his orientation back then too.
Summary
I could go on and on bout different issues and maybe I will in the future but I'm not wasting anymore of this weekend on it. I'm ready to answer any questions as long as they are respectful.
I'm aware that he is a fictional character, it doesn't affect him in any way whatsoever but it does affect aromantic and asexual people keep it in mind.
If there are any mistakes grammar related I'm not sorry I'm fluent in English (not my first language) but I took 3h nap in between and I'm sleep deprived.
Have a nice day.
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drchucktingle · 1 year
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favorite author i have never read
hey there buckaroos thank you for all the DEEP DISCUSSIONS we are having a great time here on tumblr. thought today i could make a post that is slightly more difficult its not all sunshine days ahead and requires a little introspection. LOOK AT US we have all arrived here together through trust and love and i think we can keep this going. chuck made this post on other platforms years ago and i think it was said very well then and led to some good discussion, so i am going to repost here. okay lets go deep bud here we go:
i would like to spend moment today talking about common joke i hear online (and even too my face at conventions). this is jokerman way i hear ALL the dang time: 'chuck tingle is my favorite author i have never read' or less jokerman way but of ‘i have never read his books but i love chuck tingle'.
first of all, THANK YOU buds. this is not way of call out post to make you feel bad, i appreciate your way and understand you are trying to support. this is not attack on your message and from bottom of chucks heart THANK YOU.
BUT i have to say something about this. please consider what you are saying when you post this. would you send this as message to STEPHEN KING or NEIL GAIMAN or NK JEMISIN? i doubt this. it would seem VERY RUDE to message other authors. just imagine trotting up to a writer and saying ‘i would NEVER read your books haha’ but it is sent to chuck all the dang time.
obvious reason buds say it to chuck is that i am queer author with a unique way. yes i write in realm of wild fantasy and erotic pairings, but by saying ‘i have never read chuck BUT' you are really saying 'i am posting my support of this but PLEASE DONT THINK I AM REALLY INTERESTED IN THIS PERSONALLY.' there are similar distasteful jokes that i will not repeat involving saying 'no bud on bud pounds' after a sentence that works in similar way.
is sexual art really that bad? is queer art really that embarrassing? is unusual outsider art really that funny?
it is one thing if your preferred pound is not one of chucks tinglers, that is TOTALLY FINE BUD, but if you are an adult i would say 'is it REALLY that scary to read a book about a way of sex that is not yours? is it that difficult to think that something that seems silly to you could actually MOVE YOU in an important way? do you HAVE to disconnect yourself from lgtbqia art with a 'but i don't read this myself?'
keep in mind, there are gay tinglers, there are asexual tinglers, there are trans tinglers, there are select your own timeline tinglers, there are horror tinglers. TINGLERS FOR EVERY TASTE. the thing that buds are often REALLY saying with ‘favorite author i have never read’ is ‘this is WEIRD and dont be confused because im NOT WEIRD IM COOL DONT THINK I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS’. funny enough even the proudly fun and wild and unique buckaroos will STILL say this line, maybe without taking time to think of what it means or how rude it is?
WHY would you never read a chuck book? because my way is queer? because it is neurodivergent? even if that is not there reason or even if YOUR ARE ALSO PERSONALLY QUEER AND NEURODIVERGENT TOO, think about what the joke is IMPLYING.
is sincerely enjoying something thats kind of unusual that difficult? do we really have to slather it in irony and ‘so bad its good?’ before reposting?
in closing as man name of chuck i will say you can still make this joke if you want buckaroos i know you are just having a good time proving love in your own way. i am not upset with you bud and i appreciate your support in any way you give it. there are some buckaroos who just CANT AFFORD tinglers and that is an important way i understand as well. obviously this conversation does not apply to those buds. but for the rest of us trotting along, MAYBE think about what you are really saying with this jokerman way first, and MAYBE try cracking open a tingler because you might be surprised. its not that scary bud. thank you for listening
being sincere is VERY COOL and VERY PUNK ROCK. i encourage all buckaroos out there to give it a try.
LOVE IS REAL
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froschli96 · 8 months
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As an asexual Good Omens fan
There's something I've noticed in this fandom that makes me really uncomfortable, and that is the way that Crowley and Aziraphale's possible asexuality is constantly being connected to and justified by them being not human.
I just honestly really hate that, because implying that asexuality is something that somehow "logically" follows from characters being nonhuman is ... not great. Like, I hate having to be the one to point this out, but asexuality is, in fact, very much a human attribute.
And unfortunately, most of the time when I come across this take, it doesn't feel like someone seeing themselves in the characters and relating to their experience, but rather an othering, this kind of otherwordly pure non-sexualness, where people put these characters above such trivial things like sexuality.
I am not asexual because I am somehow confounded by this oh so complicated human concept of sexuality, or because I don't ever think or care about sexuality at all (a lot of thinking was unfortunately involved actually before I finally came to a conclusion about my identity) it is just a fact of who I am, as a human being, it’s a part of my human experience.
And let's be honest, attributing asexuality to nonhuman characters is not the hot new take a lot of people seem to think it is — this trope has been around for ages. And it hasn't done a great deal to normalize asexuality. In fact I'd argue it's perpetuated an othering of ace people, but you take what you can get, really. (This is not to say that it is in any way wrong to identify with these kinds of characters, I definitely do, too! It's just sad that the topic of discussion is always about how "human" someone can be considered when they don't feel sexual or romantic attraction)
To be honest, I don't actually see A&C being asexual as canon — as a lot of people seemingly do — just because the author kind of suggested it in a tweet where he basically conflates "asexual" and "sexless" (for the record, this is not a dig at Neil, I just think the implications were kind of unfortunate, even if it might not have been intentional, which makes it all the more frustrating that a lot of fans just ran with it). And yeah, going around calling people aphobic for seeing the Ineffable Husbands as gay rep or any other identity, when they’re oh so obviously canonically ace, is honestly kind of insane.
I get that it might feel nice and tempting to be able to "claim" these characters and this relationship and being able to tell other fans off whose headcanons on their sexuality differ from your own because it is hard to come by any kind of representation when you're ace and there's finally a creator who's not only not contemptuous towards but even supportive of fans reading his characters as queer. And if you feel represented by A&C as it is then all the more power to you. But the thing is, it doesn't matter what kind of justifications there are or what canon might or might not say (bc when has that ever mattered in fandom spaces) or what the creator says, you cannot convert people to your opinion about a character, and you're going to have a bad time if you spend your time in fandom trying to do that.
And really, I am just wondering why we necessarily even need an explanation or justification for them possibly being asexual. Why does it have to be that all angels and demons are asexual by virtue of being nonhuman, and so A&C have to be too? why can't that just be an aspect of them that is completely unrelated to them not being human? Could these characters maybe not simply identify as asexual, not because they're nonhuman, but in spite of it? (btw, in the same vein it is equally stupid to argue that A&C can't be ace because they have "gone native", which is also an argument I've come across)
Honestly, I'm not even asking anyone to fundamentally change how they see these characters here — if you think they must be asexual solely because they're angels and have no concept of human sexuality, then whatever, I can't stop you and I don’t want to police anyone's headcanons bc as I said that's stupid and a waste of time. What I am asking you is that you maybe reflect a little bit on why exactly it is that humanity and sexuality are somehow so intrinsically linked in your mind to the point where you automatically use it as a way to distinguish between human and nonhuman characters.
Anyways.
Tldr: please stop equating asexuality with non-humanness thank you and good day.
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greenreticule · 2 years
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There’s already a great breakdown of why people need to stop being shocked about asexual kids being treated like crap by their parents of the church. Why the question “Why would someone kick a kid out for not having sex?” is ridiculous and needs to stop.
And I don’t want to derail that breakdown, so here’s my own post.
As a personal experience, when I first tested the waters with my religious and homophobic family to try to come out as asexual, I sort of casually worked it into the conversation about “hey do you know there’s this thing in the LGBTQ group called asexuality?”
My sister-in-law looked confused, asked “like abstinence?”
I said, “No, they just don’t want sex.” (I know, not wholly accurate, but I was testing the waters)
I don’t know how to describe to you the expression of disgust that came over her. I had seen her discuss gay people before, trans people before, but had never seen her display that level of revulsion.
I don't know why. I can't answer why. Why would this thing that I am be so fucking repulsive to her? I don’t have the fucking answer. But the point is: it happened.
I am fortunate that I came out when I was an adult, financially independent, and living on my own.
I am fortunate that my family’s reaction was pretty mild.
 Asexual kids and many asexual adults (because our system if fucking broken) aren’t that fortunate.
Joking about the “why” isn’t going to fix shit. Providing support and validation for asexual people will.
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AITA for advising a woman to get married?
Maybe I'm digging my own grave because this website is very US centric but I'm hoping you see where I'm coming from. I (mid 20s M) come from a culture where arranged marriage is the norm. I have this friend Maya (early 20s F) who also comes from a similar culture, but the difference is that hers values consent more, whereas where I live, only the parents have a say in the matter. We also have a USAmerican friend Jade (late 20s F) who will make an appearance at the end.
Maya is a sex repulsed Ace, and she kept saying she will stay single forever. I know what the situation for women in her country is like, it would be very difficult to live without a husband. One day she made a vent post saying how her parents keep asking her to reconsider, that they are worried about her being alone for the rest of her life, and her father is worried about who will financially support her after he dies.
She didn't come out to her parents, no use of doing it since they won't even understand what Asexuality is. All she did say that she refused to marry a man she wasn't in love with, and implied she will never fall for one. She's trying too hard to prove she can be an independent woman.
Her family, out of concern, told her that marriage isn't about love. She can marry someone who she is compatible with and get along just fine. That many people don't end up married to the love of their lives and even if they do, they end up losing the spark anytime but stay because they built a loving home together.
I don't find this a bad thing. Stability is very important in marriage. I mean sure, I wish I could marry the love of my life, but if my parents decided that my next door neighbor would be my wife, I would go along with it because that's just how things are where I live.
I told Maya this and she got upset with me. She said my case was different because I'm a guy (??) And because I was hetero.
I told her to value her culture more, and she has the advantage over me because she can actually CHOOSE her spouse. She got angry and said I wasn't being considerate of her feelings, and she'd rather die than be touched by a man, which frankly is making me worried.
I told her she wasn't being realistic. She is fine for now, but she will suffer in the future. Being single in our cultures is very difficult and she needs to give up. She replied with long paragraphs about how she doesn't care. I say this because I care about her as a friend, and her parents from what she described are good people too and they care about her too. She doesn't appreciate it and thinks she can live alone for the rest of her life. Unlike the west, roommates arrangements aren't available here. If she loses her family, she becomes dependent on relatives who may or may not be available. Frankly I think she's very influenced by the western lifestyle which will get her nowhere in real life. And she's disabled and works a minimum wage too.
Maya stopped talking to me for days. The whole discussion was a on a public post so by the time our mutual friend Jade woke up (different time zones) she read the whole post and came to scream at me in DMs. Jade was Ace herself, she told me I was being sexist and acephobic. I told Jade that wasn't my intention but she should stay out of our business because she can't relate to our cultures and isn't being helpful to Maya, and she has it easy because she has the resources available that allow her to be independent.
AITA for wanting my friend to realize she's being unrealistic and things won't work for her in the future?
What are these acronyms?
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friend-of-a-cat · 1 month
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So... I'm doing research for a piece of creative non-fiction (a personal essay) I'm writing for one of my uni assignments about the fact that I'm asexual and demiromantic and think that we, as a wider society, have gotten the concepts of love and attraction all wrong, and I've been researching more into the split attraction model because, well, I see it as something that's important and relevant, and this came up in my Google search:
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The initial red flag of this article is the fact that it's on BetterHelp. I didn't see this at first, and did a double take.
Anyway, the first thing I would like to ask is: what are these 'cons'? As far as I'm concerned, there are none. I understand that, for many people, romantic and sexual attraction are intrinsically linked, but, for many, they're not, and the split attraction model existing doesn't harm the former - it helps the latter. The latter includes people who are on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrums, as well as people who are, for example, heteromantic and bisexual, panromantic and homosexual, biromantic and heterosexual, etc. - basically anyone whose experiences differ between their romantic and sexual attraction.
I do find it a bit annoying that, when many people talk about both of these kinds of attraction, they lump them into one 'label', which is mostly [something]sexual (e.g. heterosexual, homosexual, etc.). But, for them, the two are linked, so referring to themselves as [something]sexual to cover both seems fine and dandy. Which... it is. However, I find it wild that people don't realise that, despite the fact that the two may seem linked to them, they are actually two different experiences. People who are both alloromantic and allosexual should be able to see this, right? They can think someone is sexually attractive yet not be romantically attracted to or want to date them. That is a thing that can happen.
Anyway, I decided to read through the article. It isn't bad, per se - much of the information is useful, and it seemed to be quite positive. Until I got to the 'cons':
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Now, I'm not really into the discourse surrounding the split attraction model - in fact, I didn't realise there was discourse surrounding it. This is because I tend to, either accidently or on purpose, avoid discourse in general. But... 'oversexualisation'? In what context? If anything, not using the split attraction model would be considered 'oversexualisation' (even though I don't think that that is, either - I honestly don't know why this word has been brought up here) due to the fact that many people focus on sexual attraction over any kind of attraction and use it to cover romantic attraction, too, when they talk about it. I genuinely have no idea what they are referring to here.
In regard to the second point: what? Attraction is complex. That's the whole thing. The split attraction model makes it less complex for many people. It allows people to figure out who they are and have the terminology to be able to voice it. Attraction is a spectrum and so is gender. Of course both of them are going to be complex. Society made both of them rigid in the first place, so breaking out of those rigidities is going to be confusing for everyone. The split attraction model helps people understand themselves, and I would like to think it helps them understand others. Everyone benefits.
I don't know if I can speak much on the third point, as I'm not familiar with the discourse, as I previously mentioned, and don't really know what it entails. Though, in saying this... what do they mean? When has asexuality - or aromanticism, for that matter - ever been prioritised over other queer identities? There's a severe lack of discussion and education surrounding both of them. That's just a fact. People who are asexual and/or aromantic are oftentimes even shunned by the wider queer community they are a part of. I don't really have much more to add on this point because I'm so confused by it. By the way, this article barely talks about aromanticism, despite the fact that it's an important part of this model, too.
The last point is just a rehash of the second point. If I was told about any of this stuff growing up, I would have realised I was ace and demiromantic from the start. Instead, I realised I was ace a few years ago after watching Jaiden Animations' video about the fact that she's aroace (I don't want to use the term 'coming out' here because, frankly, I hate it - I'll save that rant for another time). I only realised I was demiromantic in the past month after... realising that people getting romantic crushes on and/or falling in love with someone when they barely know them is actually a thing that happens and isn't fake. These two terms fit me best at the moment, and explain everything. If I had've known these terms as a teenager, that would have been great. The split attraction model helped me so much in breaking down myself and my identity, and offered me the foundation I needed to ask myself questions. Yeah, attraction and gender are confusing - I said it before, and I'll say it again. But why would you cast something so helpful aside? That will only hinder people - both those who are struggling with their own identity and those who are trying to understand the identities of others. Education surrounding the complexities and spectrums of attraction and gender are so important, and this model will help people teach other people about attraction.
I also read a bunch of hate comments, as one does whenever they go on Reddit or Twitter or literally any social media platform ever, regarding the split attraction model. This didn't surprise me. These specific people seem to hate this model because... well, I don't really know. They were mostly spewing aphobia. I don't think a single one had a constructive point. Also, most of the search results for 'split attraction model' on Google are actually critiques of it, or articles talking about critiques of it and being on the fence. Come on, people. Do better.
Anyway, the split attraction model is important. Education is important. Allowing people to figure out who they are and express it is important. This should all go without saying.
That is all.
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yanderes-galore · 6 days
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Hi if you do poly can I please request yandere Alastor and Charlie both fallen for the hotel new resident please , hcs if possible if not a Drabble would be fun to read 💗
I was sharing thoughts with @okchijt late at night since Hazbin is such a brainrot for me rn. So some of what I talk about, such as the dynamic between Darling and Alastor/Charlie, is from what I discussed with them.
I took my own creative liberties with this request... sorry if this isn't quite what you wanted :( LOVE THIS SHOW!
Yandere! Alastor + Charlie sharing a Darling
Pairing: Romantic/Platonic - Sharing (Alastor would be ambiguous due to Canon)
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive/Protective behavior, Sadism, Degrading behavior/Ownership, Yanderes sharing, Stalking, Clingy behavior, Imprisonment, Forced companionship/relationship.
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So, the idea I came up with is this;
You're the new resident hoping to be redeemed, yes, but you have a past.
Somehow in someway... you have a deal with Alastor.
You were silently hoping that coming to the Hotel and being redeemed would free you.
Yet you end up coming face to face with Alastor the moment you enter.
Now, Charlie can be either intention with you.
Alastor... the way I intend to write Alastor is something dubious.
His intentions can't be read as exclusively platonic or romantic.
He has his own intentions... ones no one but himself can read.
(I will usually write him like this due to him being Asexual in canon... although according to research, even that has a range/spectrum)
As the new resident and a sinner, Charlie naturally wants to redeem you.
Although, she may not learn until later that Alastor has you on a leash like Husk.
If you aren't a soul claimed by Alastor before you enter the Hotel, you will be at some point.
Alastor has an idea of what your plan is... he doesn't like the idea of letting you out of his grasp.
In response, you're allowed to live and work at the Hotel... "for redemption".
Charlie is clueless at first of the tension between you and Alastor.
Although Husk would understand your issue... even if he isn't big on the whole redemption thing.
Just another pet meant to do tricks.
The two are complete opposites, even when they eventually start sharing.
Charlie is too nice for her own good and nearly smothers her obsession at times.
Alastor is, like I've said, mysterious.
You don't know what he wants exactly... but he owns you and your soul.
When Alastor sees Charlie's obsession towards you, he'd share to keep her happy.
In reality you are definitely still his... regardless on if Charlie wants to help you be "better".
Alastor is a reminder of who you once were... the result of a bet gone wrong... you can't scrub the past away that easily.
You're only in here because Alastor's allowing you, anyways.
Eventually Charlie will know of the dynamic between you and Alastor.
Especially if she sees him pull your chain.
The fact that one way or another you got under Alastor's grasp upsets Charlie at first.
But Alastor convinces her of the benefits.
Alastor knows Charlie couldn't dare see you go if you were redeemed.
Charlie goes to deny such a thought... but Alastor cuts her off.
He's seen how Charlie acts around you.
She follows you around like a puppy at times, always asking for your approval and clinging around you.
She loves you... be that as friends or something more twisted.
However... she won't have to worry about that if you just stay here.
That way, Alastor gets to keep your soul under his control... and Charlie gets to keep seeing you.
It's not like Heaven will let her visit.
Charlie may actually be won over by this... resulting in them "sharing" with each other.
It's yet another deal, you now being with "two" masters.
You feel betrayed that Charlie would choose not to redeem you just to keep you to herself.
Alastor merely stares you down with a smug aura, you can feel the chain around your neck even if he didn't manifest it.
No need for kidnapping in this situation, Alastor already has you in his control.
He can keep you in the Hotel with Charlie, even better since his role is playing protector of the place.
Yeah, no other Overlord is coming near you.
Charlie doesn't even like the idea of Alastor "owning" you... but it's better than someone else... hopefully.
At least with Alastor you're in the Hotel.
Your only "solace" is speaking with people like Husk or Angel Dust... at least they understand such a plight somewhat.
Charlie tries to regain your trust the best she can.
She feels horrible for Alastor essentially exposing her true desires.
She clings to you, crying and whimpering about you hating her.
You're sort of forced to comfort her as Vaggie glares at you if you don't.
A silent warning to play nice with the Princess.
Alastor finds all this amusing.
To think you had a chance at leaving?
Face it, outside of the Hotel isn't safe without him and Charlie.
Going to Heaven? Out of the question!
Alastor has eyes on you all the time... even if he didn't, Charlie certainly follows you around even if you don't know it.
You're bound to him.
Alastor's merely playing nice by allowing Charlie to have you.
It's all deals in Hell!
Unfortunately... deals define your life... as you learn the hard way once Heaven is torn from your grasp.
"What's wrong, darling? Upset your little plan didn't work the way you wanted it to?"
"Please! Please, I'm sorry! I just... love you too much to let you go to Heaven... you'll be happy and safe here... with me and Alastor! Okay? Don't look at me like that!"
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ober-affen-geil · 1 year
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It’s ace week again and I want to start by saying I appreciate the constant and consistent rise of overt queer representation in media. I really, really do. This post is not about that, but I did want to start by recognizing that we are definitely seeing a positive trend of queer rep and I’m not begrudging anyone that.
On the other hand.
Why is it that Sex Education, a show lauded for its depictions of teenage sexualities of all kinds, only openly discusses asexuality in one Very Special Episode?
Why is it that Brooklyn Nine Nine, a show respected for its diversity, only mentioned asexuality once and it was clearly meant as an insult?
Why is it that Faking It, a show inclusive of many teen sexualities and groundbreaking in its inclusion of a main intersex character, only references asexuality in a single throwaway line meant as a “we’ve collected them all” joke?
Why is it that Heatstopper, a show that gently yet explicitly includes all sorts of different identities in its main teen characters, doesn’t have a single reference to asexuality? And if Isaac or Tori were meant to be included as ace rep, why weren't they identified as such the way the rest of the characters were?
Why is it that Jughead, a character known in the entire run of comics going back to 1941 as having two defining characteristics: a disintrest in girls/dating and an obsession with food and who was made explicitly asexual in a 2016 run, was not made asexual in Riverdale when the opportunity presented itself?
Why is it that when fandom was presented with Good Omens they chose to call it “not queer enough” when the option to see Aziraphale and Crowley as ace or aro was very obviously there?
Why is it that I’ve seen BoJack Horseman, a show that has earned every Emmy it has won, praised as groundbreaking for having main reoccurring character Todd Chavez’s asexuality be a part of several different storylines only ever from asexual sources?
I know why. Do you?
Happy Asexual Awareness Week.
Edit: I did address this in a reblog but since a lot of recent people seem to be finding this through the tags and this is happening with enough frequency I will add it here.
To all the helpful people in the notes telling me that a) Alice Oseman is aroace or b) that there are plans for explicit ace representation in season 2 of Heartstopper or c) that there are other publications within the Heartstopper universe that examines aspec characters...thank you. I know. That is actually most of the reason Heartstopper made it onto this list.
Because what that means is, a creator that *has* explicit aspec rep in other works, *has* explicit aspec rep in the main work that is the subject of the adaptation, and *is* aspec themselves made the choice to relegate explicit aspec rep to a second season that had not yet been secured at the time of writing season 1.
Setting aside that I know fuckall about what the adaptation/creative process was like or what TPTB were like during said process, from my perspective that fucking sucked. A lot.
Happy Asexual Awareness Week.
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pilfappreciator · 5 months
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ATTENTION TROLLS FANDOM!!
This is very important. Mostly to me but maybe you guys have been wondering this too idk but anyways:
How does troll reproduction work exactly?
Cuz I'm genuinely curious. I dont think anyone on the series production team has said anything and so far I've seen absolutely no one touch on this subject but as someone who's always had an interest in the habits of creatures (both fictional or otherwise), I kinda sorta maybe NEED to know this otherwise I'll never be able to sleep peacefully again
Full disclaimer that I'm specifically talking about the whole egg situation, I am NOT ASKING HOW THEY GET IT ON IF I WANTED THAT ANSWER I'D GO TO DEVIANT ART OR TWITTER OR WHATEVER LAWLESS PLATFORM GOD STEERS CLEAR OF. This discussion shall remain STRICTLY educational, thank you very much
But anywho. Let's dive in
So trolls come from eggs. This is basic knowledge. First instance of this phenomenon (as far as I know, I've only seen the movies) is from World Tour.
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Egg pops out of Guy Diamond's hair, egg hatches and BOOM, (literal) baby. Now I understand that this whole sequence was probably just a gag and a way for DreamWorks to implement another (merchandisable) addition to the cast HOWEVER this sequence also raises a few questions
First off, as far as I know Guy Diamond has no partner (again: I haven't watched any of the spinoff shows). Either that or maybe the other troll was a sorta one-night-stand/no-longer-in-his-life kinda situation? Which is great either way cuz its shown he obviously cares for his son and we at Tumblr appreciate a loving single father no matter the circumstances, but if my former theory is correct than that would imply that trolls are capable of reproducing asexually. Like onions.
Now if that hypothesis is, as they call it, "cap" then that would mean that some sorta hanky panky has to go down before an egg comes into question. And if that's the case, does this mean that male trolls are traditionally the ones who carry the eggs?
But that can't be right, can it? Afterall, World Tour gave us yet ANOTHER egg scene later on in the movie
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In Cooper's flashback, we clearly see Queen Essence being the one carrying the eggs meanwhile King Quincy is eggless. Now, as far as i see it, this could be explained either one of four ways:
1) Quincy was the one who actually produced the eggs and Essence is merely holding them for her husband (since her hair seems more fitting to be a makeshift nest compared to Quincy's)
2) Female trolls are the ones who produce the eggs. Guy Diamond is just a trans icon
3) Troll reproduction differs from genre to genre
4) There is a... *sighs* a/b/o type of dynamic among troll kind where certain trolls are capable of giving birth/siring children depending on a secondary gender
In regards to theory #3, this could also explain why Guy Diamond seems to reproduce and hatch an egg in such a short amount of time (like 5 seconds I'm pretty sure) as opposed to Queen Essence/King Quincy who's eggs presumably went a while longer before actually hatching.
Actually, speaking off eggs, are trolls the only species in their world that reproduce that way?
Because now that Band Together has officially been released, we now know for certain that it's possible for different species to crossbreed. Biggest example? Resident DILF Bruce and his giant muppet wife
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(Credit to @captainunderkrupp )
When I saw these two... I swear...
And these two already have a shit ton of kids okay so like... either Brandi was the one giving birth or trollsona Daveed Digs was over here pumpin out eggs, which I mean-
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DO YOU SEE HOW BIG THESE THINGS ARE COMPARED TO BRANCH AND POPPY?? Believe me I am PRAYING that Bruce gave himself some serious maternity/paternity leave because my guy is honestly a trooper
But yeah any thoughts? :))
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