#*** already. i truly truly just want to ***. everything hurts and ive lost everything that used to make my life make sense and i just want

[quodekash]

THE EPISODE IS OUT AND IVE NOW WATCHED IT (and it took me two hours to get through as per usual) SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

ITS TIME FOR MY COMMENTARY ON THE ENTIRE EPISODEEE (im sorry)

THEY WON HELL YES FINALLY

BUT IT WAS A DREAM

why? they like crushing our souls.

the scene of gun waking up and getting ready (having a shower, brushing his teeth) reflects the very first episode, where he had so much energy and he was preparing his speech for the juniors. And now he’s lost the biggest competition of his life so far, he’s sad, and honestly he’s lost - but not in the meaning that he didn’t win, he’s lost in the way that he doesn’t know where he is or where to go or what to do. and gmm is making me cry about the freaking passage of time which is so cliche like there are so many other things to make me cry about but instead you choose the thing that I’ve been having a mental breakdown / existential crisis over for the past three years? It feels like a personal attack tbh

THE TEACHER WAS SPEAKING IN THAI COS THEY ARE THAI PEOPLE AND THEN RANDOMLY SAID “oh man good job” IN ENGLISH AND IT WAS SO JARRING I LITERALLY FLINCHED

WIN DONT BE COLD TO YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT THE FLIP

PORS TRYNA CHEER EVERYONE UP WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT THEM??

AND SOUND’S TRYNA GET YOU TO APOLOGISE COS YOU SAID BLOODY HURTFUL THINGS AND THEN YOU THROW YOUR ARM OUT OF HIS GRIP AND SAY “you won’t get us”, ESSENTIALLY IMPLYING THAT HE’S NOT ONE OF YOU AND HE’S NOT IMPORTANT??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR

AND SOUND DOESNT EVEN GO AFTER HIM

awhhhh poor Por alone in the music room by himself he needs a hug I would like to give him a hug please

Pat, I love you, I truly do, but shut up please. you’re gonna make Por freaking cry and that’ll make me cry and I’m already gonna cry enough from this episode

POR IS STANDING AT THE PIANO, HE SHOULD SING AND PLAY A SAD SONG BY HIMSELF TO LET HIS EMOTIONS OUT ON THE KEYS, TO FEEL HIS FEELS THROUGH MUSIC

BUT NO ALL HE DOES IS CRY

AND IT MAKES ME CRY

GOSHDARNNIT

“the doctor said I can go home next week!” “Don’t rush it mum. I can survive at home on my own. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” “I’m okay. But when will you get better?” THIS WOMAN ALWAYS SPEAKS THE TRUTH ONLY THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH AND I LOVE HER

“ever since I woke up, I’ve never seen you song. I usually had to tell you to quit singing.” “……..do you think dad would be disappointed in me?” “What about you? Were you disappointed in him for not being able to release his music? Listen. If we tried our best, there’s nothing to regret. I think your dad would think the same.” BRO HOW IS EVERYTHING SHE SAYS SO FREAKING QUOTABLE

AWW TINN SHOWING UP AT THE HOSPITAL TO VISIT GIM BUT HES JUST TOO LATE I LOVE HIM

OOOOO THEYRE GONNA DO THE PROM NIGHT PERFORMANCE THATS AWESOME

also side note prom night means dates means tinngun soundwin tiwpor I’m very excited

ITS FINALLY TIME FOR PHOTJANEES MENTAL BREAKDOWN OMG FINALLY IVE BEEN WAITING

“do you think we raised him well enough?” YES OFC YOU DID WHAT THE FLIP /gen

“What mistakes do you think we’ve made along the way?” Every parent makes mistakes, man, that’s the way of life, it’s a learning experience for everyone involved. But what’s important is making sure you show your child that you love them and support them and care for them and shESDONE THAT mostly I think. all the things she’s done that could be considered bad or negative were her trying to do what she thought would be best for tinn’s happiness and well-being, even if it didn’t go down that way. You made mistakes, yeah. That’s what makes you freaking human, photjanee.

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY TIWPOR PROBABLY HOPEFULLY AND SOUNDWIN PROBABLY HOPEFULLY AND TINNGUN PROBABLY

I was excited for this rehearsal, but win, stop it. “Just cancel this freaking band” seriously, stop. You’re being really cold right now and idk where it’s coming from but it has to stop please.

“I’m out” exCUSE ME???

THE BASS PLAYER CANT JUST QUIT

THE BASS IS THE FREAKING HEART OF THE MUSIC, THE SOUL

IF THERES BO BASS PLAYER THERES NO SOUL SO THERES NO MUSIC

okay sound is going after him it’s okay

and win was disappointed in himself so it make sense now. It’s not healthy to push your own insecurities and fears onto others to feel better, but it does explain his behaviour and hopefully he can find a better coping mechanism

EXCUSE ME WHEN THE F L I P WAS THIS ESTABLISHED??????

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW PLEASE

COULD SOMEONE PERHAPS INFORM ME OF THIS INFORMATION????

your boyfriend is being super self-hatey? Aggressively force him into a hug and let him let all his anger out while simultaneously letting him know both verbally and physically that you’re there for him and while you might not understand what he’s going through you will listen and do what you can to make him feel happy. I love these two.

its a tinngun scene next and you’ll never guess where they are

✨the freaking pool✨

AND WE GOT A SOUNDWIN SCENE, THEN A TINNGUN SCENE, THEN A TIWPOR SCENE, ALL IN QUICK SUCCESSION THIS IS AMAZING

JFJEJFHDHEHDB TIWPOR DATE TIWPOR DATE TIWPOR DATE

SIR--

AAAAAAAAAA

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYYYYY

✨oh shoot✨

por fell down the stairs and ✨broke his leg✨

I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE WISH REDEEMING THING THANK GOODNESS I WAS SO FREAKING CONFUSED

HOW IS HE SO FREAKING POSITIVE ALL THE TIME????

“But Tinn has got a really nice voice, ma’am” gun you’re being real sus she’s about to figure it out

photjanee keeps getting so close to finding out about tinngun and then something interrupts it and it happens every single time

BEACH TRIP PART 2 LETS GOOO

wait a sec they did a bad buddy. They went to the beach and then they went to the beach again. And the second time was in episode 11. why has that happened twice now.

BRO HES WEARING YELLOW

WIN RESERVED A SPOT FOR SOUND AGAIN AND THIS TIME SOUND IS ACTUALLY TAKING THE SPOT I LOVE THEMMMMM

so that fight was freaking intense, they were all having a go at each other, naturally it progressed to just Soundwin yelling but then surprisingly it turned into win and gun.

I rly liked that scene tho, all of them at the height of emotions and they all give really hard but sincere and heartfelt apologies to each other. And then they have a group hug. It’s so sweet, I love all of their group dynamics so freaking much

this man is neurodivergent and I love him with all my soul

tinn’s dad doesn’t have a name. tis character is nameless. but I love him.

NATURALLY TIW HAD TO EMERGE FROM THE SHADOWS FJRJFHFH

TIWPOR ARE SO OBVIOUS

“Did I miss something?? What is happening?” Well, win, you see, you know how you and sound are in love? It’s the same situation with Tiw and por, but you numskulls have been too thick to see it somehow

TIWPOR ARE LITERALLY BOYFRIENDS I LOVE THEM

everyone just coping Soundwin left right and centre okay then

first tinngun with the medal kiss

now tiwpor with the sprinkle water

what’s next, yo and nook are gonna be tied up together? Pat and [insert imaginary character] are gonna have a lot of meaningful interactions in the bathroom?

oh also that song?? It made me cry man. I don’t care what anyone says, this show is a cinematic masterpiece.

the way they’re watching a video of them singing an encouraging song to encourage themselves?

the way they’re suddenly in the room watching??

THE WAY SOUND APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE???

THE WAY TINN APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE????

THE WAY THEIR CURRENT SELVES ARE SUDDENLY SINGING TO THEMSELVES?????????

it gave me chills and it gave me tears

I literally can’t describe how much I love this show

the only thing that could’ve made that song better is if Tiw appeared out of nowhere

i CaN wAiT uNtiL yOuRe A uNi StUdEnT dude no one cares about the rule anymore, sound literally said he and win are boyfriends (WHICH BTW W H E N WAS THAT ESTABLISHED?????) just date now

“no matter how long, I’ll always wait for you right here” okay that’s super sweet and all but literally no one cares about the stupid rule just kiss already

yeah okay that explains it. I’d noticed how the only people to say “until they’ve WON hot wave” were that guy and Tinn and Tiw, but everyone else just said until after hot wave so yeah

“Be with me now and you’ll get to use the hashtag #MySchoolPresident” gotta love them subtle title drops lmao

and naturally there’s a cliffhanger on the photjanee plot line. great. like they needed to have something to keep us hooked even tho we're invested literally no matter what, the next episode is the freaking final episode, we're gonna watch it, dont worry gmmtv

MY MAIN TAKEAWAYS

last episode felt way too short but this one felt way too long

I’m still not sure if tiwpor were already secretly dating or if it’s just mutual crushes or if it’s something else BUT they’re going down the tiwpor route for which I am grateful because WE’RE NOT DELUSIONAL HAHA SUCKERS WE WERE RIGHT

WHEN THE FLIP FLAP TICTAC WAS IT ESTABLISHED THAT SOUNDWIN ARE BOYFRIENDS????? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN OFF SCREEN???? I HAVE Q U E S T I O N S

and we have one episode left of this goodnessforsaken show. We have had eleven episodes. We have had about 600 freaking minutes of this show. And Tinn and gun stILL HAVENT KISSED???????? WHAT THE FLIP IS GOING ON

#soundwin #winsound #tiwpor #tiwsonpor #tinngun #satangwinny #winnysatang #mark ford #satang kittiphop #winny thanawin #maek pakin #ford arun #gemini norawit #fourth nattawat #geminifourth #my school president #my school president the series

[tethered-heartstrings]

Hiyaa, im curious about a something regardin episode "Dolce". If ever you've already had a similar question to this or have answered this question, please just redirect me to that post and im more than haooy to read it! Im new to this fandom, i literally just discovered hannibal and watched all seasons of it in one sitting because of a fanfiction of them (hannigram) i hyperfixated on ff before watching the actual show and i have a rough idealized version of hannigram before watching the show. A major part of that is will being hannibal's only exception in terms of murder to eventually cannibalism. I expected gaslighting, manipulation, everything but actually killing will. i dont know why it took me this long to actually find answer to the question thats been bugging my mind since ive finished the show maybe because i figured some ff will delve into this topic but nope so far they have not and that's why im here. You probably guessed what scene it is already but its the scene where hannibal literally but a sawing machine through will's skull in an attempt to kill him. I wanted to know what you think of that scene and your interpretation on why hannibal was willing to kill will despite already professing his love and have a generally good vibes reunion in the museum. I think hannibal's was just bitter at will because of the whole betrayal thing but i still didn't expect the killing will after all that. So this whole scene was just very confusing for me, magbe its because i have not enough braincells to math the math here.

There is a lot to unpack so hopefully I am able to hit all your inquiry points.

For one, Hannibal had not confessed his love to Will. He accepted the fact what he was feeling was truly love. It is a very different kind of love than what he had for his sister Mischa (obviously - familial vs romantic), but it was still love. And arguably, the only person he has truly loved since Mischa was Will. When he lost Mischa, Hannibal ate her. He loved her. What do you do to someone you love? You eat them. This was prompted by Bedelia, but I do think they saw it in very different ways. Bedelia saw the violence of it, and Hannibal saw the tenderness. Now, Hannibal did not lose Will as he lost Mischa; Will was still alive. But in a way, Will was still lost to him. Will had betrayed Hannibal, and Will was not next to him on the plane to Italy as he should have been. In a way, if Hannibal killed him, then he could control the permanent loss of Will and cannibalize him in the same act. He lost Mischa tragically, she was taken from him. But if Hannibal did the taking, then the loss might not hurt or linger quite as much. Hannibal likes to be in control. Also there is a bit “if I can’t have you, no one else can” and “I can be the only one to kill you” mentality. Killing Will would prevent any more betrayal, and Hannibal could do so in a way that best suited him and his future memories. Will would not be torn away but incorporated. 

Which brings me to the point of: why eat him at all? Cannibalism is a form of love. We see Hannibal also kill and eat people who are rude, but there is a difference. It is all about the intent. In a way, Hannibal doesn’t see the latter as cannibalism, because cannibalism requires the consumer and the meal to have been equals in life. Hannibal sees his victim as pigs, as livestock, best put to something useful such as food. But, Hannibal also consumes out of love. We see that with Mischa and we see an attempt of that with Will. Imagine incorporating someone you love into you? Their flesh, their life, becoming fuel for you. Their fats and proteins and carbohydrates broken down to give you ATP, energy for the next day? You can cook the, with care, one last gesture of tenderness. To make them into their favorite meal. You cannot be as physically close to someone as you are after eating them. They literally become a part of you. Eating Will would be the most honored meal Hannibal could have. He would not share it with anything. He would use every last piece he could. Savoring and remembering Will with every movement of his jaw, every swallow.

As far as the good vibes at Uffizi, there is a lot to unpack in that scene. It was a reunion and a final goodbye. Will went to to meet him there with a knife in his coat; he had plans to kill him before he even entered the building. He had plans to kill him back in Lithuania. he got shoved off a train because violence is what he knows. He still chose violence. At the same time, Hannibal had planned on eating him before then, too. They both had plans to end the other. So the feeling was gentle, like a calm before the storm. But it would not stay that way. It couldn’t. Hannibal got the upperhand, so his plan was initiated.

I made a post about why Hannibal chose his brain. But, Hannibal had spent so much of his time getting to know Will, figuratively dissecting his brain to get at the very core of him. It’s poetic to decide to eat his brain first. It’s the part that is the essence of who Will is. Every nerve connection makes up the personality and morals and memories of a person. The entirety of a person encased within the skull. The control for every movement and choice and action. Sure, Hannibal left his marks on Will’s body, but he left an impression in his mind, too. Hannibal lived in there and always would. He did not hear Will say they were blurred when he made the decision to eat his brain (I believe this was made before the Uffizi scene), but it’s a concept he already knew. Also, once you get past the skin and bone, the brain itself does not feel pain. It’s also one single organ you can eat piece by piece, deciding what functions to keep for the rest of the body, and really control how long they stay alive (to a point, sometimes biology just quits). Will tried to cut Hannibal from his life, so maybe Hannibal was cutting himself out for Will. Or maybe it’s because he is a psychiatrist and it’s fitting. He stopped being an ER surgeon to become a psychiatrist because he no longer needed to worry about his patients dying on him, and now he was implementing both professions. Or maybe it was symbolism for prion disease that lives within the brain. A small, misfolded, naughty little protein that takes over and causes madness; and diseases often associated with cannibalism. Will got inside him too, changing him as much as he changed Will. Something seemingly so simple yet so dangerous and complex.

#ceexreverse #the curious clown

[valleynix]

Oh God, i completely forgot to mention in my last review about my feelings towards Miranda! I was so caught up with theories and my love for Cass and all the other things, so it slipped my mind, but here i am! Again. Sorry if im being too invested and write too much, id probably get bored of myself already(:

So. I know Miranda is like the main villain and all, but since last month ive been reading a lot about her, watching, investigating and im not embarrassed to say i love this character almost as much as i love the Dimitrescus. It pains me to see so little fics written about her as the main character, truly. Yes, she's the villain, yes, she's hurt a lot of people, killed a lot, but so did the sisters? The Lady D? So if we can redeem them, even if their motives are just hunger, sure as hell we can forgive Miri her urge to bring her daughter back. Her daughter! And now im embarrassed to say that id probably do the same thing if a had a chance to bring my loved ones back, even if i dont have kids rn. Sad, but true. I think most of us would try to.

So what im trying to say, is that when i first started to read LPA i was like yes, Miranda can go to hell, but now, when i got the whole picture and i really know the character the game gave us i have to say i love her a lot and that now i have to shove my feelings for her out out the window when i read such works where she's supposed to be hated. But its okay really, im used to it by now:D

And so im really disappointed to see how little fics are out there about Miranda and mcs being together, bringing Eva back, loving each other dearly (because i certainly would!), caring about each other. Where mc makes her feel better, wiser, truly happier. Ive see like one fic about that and thats just it, no more. Thats so sad and makes me kinda want to write something myself but im too busy with finals right now.

But anyways, even if Mother Miranda is a bitch sometimes i love Miri dearly. And i get why she receives hate so much (not literally but you get the idea) but i just love her as a character. I even started drawing her portrait on my wall right next to Dani's and let me tell you - her wings are a missive pain in the ass even tho i adore them. All those little feathers and lights they reflect, jeez, so hard to pain! Still worth it tho.

And she's so divine and so godly and strong and beautiful and powerful. And she's so smart! God, she's so smart. And when she grins evilly just like that-

Again, sorry for rambling, just wanted to get this out of my chest.

As always, sending my love for you and for LPA. Stay safe❤️

i could literally never grow bored of you; your reviews/asks/messages are the highlights of my day <33

as much as i've said i don't like her and call her a feathery bitch in my writing, miranda is still a very intriguing character. like, have you read her lore? homegirl was deadass about to kill herself because she lost her daughter and couldn't save her. also, i imagine a lot of the extent she goes to in order to revive eva is because of the mold, since I'm assuming it definitely alters peoples' minds and makes them cruel (like the bakers in RE7)

a lot of people in fics, i've noticed, tend to make her out to be a 2D antagonist who does horrible stuff just because she can. in LPA (and later in TPtM), I've tried to give her very good reasons for what she does. losing her loved ones over and over, being unable to revive them, no matter what you do... that takes a toll on people, and miri's been alive for over a century, if I'm not mistaken. she's just traumatized and wants her family back

but, you're completely right. we forgive lady d and her daughters for being cruel and write off their horrible actions, but many can't do the same for miri? she has motives behind her actions, even in canon, and she's a very good villain. she deserved more screen time than what she got

we need more fics of miranda and the mc being together and being *happy*. she deserves it after everything she's gone through. she deserves to hold her daughter again

i'd definitely love to see your paintings one day! I'm sure they look lovely and you probably capture them so well <3 i can only imagine how difficult the details of her feathers are, but you've got this! and, maybe when you have some free time, you could be the one to write that happy fic with miri and her love?

you never have to apologize for speaking your thoughts, i love hearing them. come to my ask box or DMs anytime you like, and stay safe and healthy during your finals. you got this <33

#asks #long post #i talk mad shit about her on tiktok #but honestly she intrigues me #i read her lore not too long ago when i started writing tptm to get a better feel for her #and it pains me to read #like yes shes a horrible person #but honestly #if i was in her position #if i'd lost my daughter and couldn't save her no matter what i did #and if i was infected by the mold for over a century while i did what i could to bring back my daughter #id be a little crazy too #a good villain/antagonist is one we can relate to #even if they go to extreme measures #and while i dont have kids #i can understand why she'd want to go through all this trouble #and why she'd be a little crazy and cruel #you see how happy she looks when she thinks she FINALLY brought eva back in rose? #and how quickly that was crushed? #that actually hurt me #like it physically pained me #give miri a break 2022

[wangfy]

i know my parents are tired of me.

and why? ive been sent to the mental hospital three times. first time was october 2023, i took a lot of pills for attention really... i was addicted to popping pills sadly. parents didnt really care. second time was january 2024, suicide attempt after my parents took away my phone (which was my only comfort at the time while i was hurting myself). february 2024 was my third time, i had a panic attack due to my past sexual abuse. told my parents about it for the first time... it went well but then my stepdad said what i was always afraid that my mother would say. "it happens to most women, youre not the only one." is it true? yes. but that's not what someone wants to hear. it made me feel as though what i expressed wasnt important as it "happened to others too". i dont feel alive. i want to harm myself everyday. i dont want to wake up. i want to die. i hate myself. i lie to others about my self-confidence. no, i dont like my hair. no, i dont like my eyes. it's a lie. i say it so i dont seem weak. whenever i get compliments, i feel everything bursting inside of me. i want to cry of happiness. like, you think im pretty? really? i find it so shocking, but i accept it simply as a "thank you". i never want to do anything fun. "let's go to the arcade!" and all of my siblings agree. i hate the arcade. i hate everything but reading. writing used to be my passion but now thats fading too. the only thing im proud of are my grades. it's the only thing that proves im still here. im still myself. i laugh about the way my mother used to punch me in my stomach when she was upset. or when she hit me when tv cords. but truly it hurts me to my soul that she did that. its either i die or someone else does. i cannot control myself anymore, at least not for long. ive lost my passion. my love. my everything. im not even sure i want to go to college anymore. funny that im saying all of this yet if my grade drops below an A ill go crazy. though, miss liz (my therapist) isnt wrong. if i really didnt care about my life i'd just let myself fail, like i did freshman year. im sorry. really. my parents have to deal with the death of their child. my siblings dealing with the death of their sister. i need serious help, but getting that help will make me even more of a black sheep than i already am. i hate myself for being this way. why cant i just be normal?

[aprincesslonging4luv]

if I spend another day like this I might lose my mind

I say that as if I haven't already lost my mind. I am just SO LOST! SO CONFUSED ON WHAT TO DO!

another night of losing sleep. losing sleep, staying up examining and questioning everything. looking for a bigger purpose.

its just, how the fuck do you stop loving someone? how do you stop thinking and longing for them even when you don't want to?!!! I miss her. a lot. I want to talk to her, I want to reach out. to make a move. to say something. but I know I shouldn't, I know if I tried anything I would hurt myself more. I would drive myself even more crazy. so what do I do? continue to sit in these emotions, everyday. everyday all day. waiting for something. waiting for anything.

but cmon, I've been waiting for 2 and a half years. ive got to stop. nothing is going to change. our relationship isn't a tv show. it was never a tv show. we are not carrie and big. we are not fate. we just were. we were what we were, and I have got to leave it. ive got to leave it in the past.

the harsh truth is, im never getting her back. as much ive tried to believe that yes, its just time. just takes time. no. ive got to stop living in this fantasy in my head. do I want her more then ive ever wanted anything in my life? yes. but ive got to stop. ive just got to leave it be. as much as it hurts.

I wish I never met her. I wish I never fell in love with her. I wish I never took it this far. I wish she never did this to me. I wish she knew how much I cared, how much im willing to try. how much I love her. I wish she knew I would give up the world for her. literally. I wish she cared. I wish she meant all the things she said to me. I wish she really loved me.

I wish I didn't love her. I wish I didn't love her as much I do. I wish I could just let her go. I want to let her go, I want to move on. but I don't want to let her go. I want to move on, but with her. but there's only so much I can do. there's only so much I can say. I just want to be happy in my love life, I want to have fun and date and meet new people, but will I ever be able to do that if im still longing for her in the back of my mind? will I ever be able to truly move on without letting her go?

im so down bad. ive been down bad for awhile. how is it, you don't talk to someone for literal years and still think of them everyday. still long for them. still stay up late, wondering what could be. what could've been. what the possibilities are. what our future could be. I just think im crazy at this point. not crazy in love, actually crazy.

what if im wrong, what if she's happy living her life without me. living her life with someone else. making someone else happy. completely forgotten about me. what then?

im just so hurt. ive never wanted someone so badly. I don't know how to deal with these emotions. how do you let go of someone. how do I let go of her?

it just needs to happen is all im saying. to myself of course. ive been saying it for awhile, but seriously me, you've gotta do it. ive got to do it to be happy. I have to leave us behind. I have to stop chasing. stop chasing a fantasy. ive got to let go, so I can actually live a real life fantasy with someone new. someone who can show me what it's like to truly be loved. someone who gives me the love I truly deserve. someone who deserves all these words for them. but she isn't that someone, as much as I want her to be. she just isn't. tough pill to swallow.

[inner-solstice]

man..i could explain so much. maybe another time.

im free, finally. i have started the process of accepting my emotions instead of pushing them down, long ago. Its easier now. Accepting everything as it comes, doing this the right way. I feel free, its not as painful as it used to be.

im sure at this point you are spreading your ways, getting everyone to think things about me - surprisingly, i dont care. im free. it hurts less everyday. im glad i took the time to feel my pain. im not fully loose yet…there are ties that need to be officailized on her side of the court…as much as i want to worry and fear her 3 years of threats about her ruining me more, i somehow feel safe, crazy - finally. I have strength.

even knowing that you may be doing things and seeing certain people. it doesn’t bother me anymore. i am proud of myself for finally having strength to not care. i know the truth, really, i feel bad for you. but it what it is and i surprisingly dont feel anything towards it. if you went back to certain people, certain ways, i could kind of laugh about it because ive already accepted it happening no matter what. honestly… i laugh because its so predictable, and it doesn’t even hurt. just builds and validates my strength even more.

I finally have an opportunity to see my friends and family again without you hurting me in any way. Of course i can imagine you telling everyone else in exaggeration my mistakes. dont get me wrong, im not perfect, i did mess up, but i do u have enough self love to fight for myself. Falsely accusing me, man, not only is there assault against you on your record but shit, i was just looking at pictures of the bruises youve put on me the other day. you can say what you want to everyone. truly, i do not care. but i now have steel balls with proof. how i seriously tear up for your future partners. im sure yoire with montse now - man oh man, i feel remorse for her, especially after all the poor things youve said about her. i know you well enough to know that youll project that you dont care. your prohect a lot of things. truly, everything you say to me, i have smpathy for because you use me as a mirror to talk to yourself. everyhting youve accused me off, has been only done by you.

i feel sorry for you.

ive come to terms that i used to love you - but i only loved the best of you…the best that has disappeared, which im sure youll blame me for, just know, if you ever see this, i know the truth. i know it will take immense willpower to finally dismantle your pride and have empathy - but i know. I will always know you. your kindness and love prevails - at least to me, recently youve been lost. i cant seem to find one good thing to love about you anymore. Which leads me to this point now, i dont feel the amount of pain as before. your heightened flaws are your own journey now, i feel sorry for those that have to endure it with you being so prideful. Like tylo said, you have to reach rock bottom in order to finally learn. i hope you do

-

i sort of feel relief. something i never thought id feel with leaving you. it feels good. i can finally move on and pursue my potential. So much is lined up for me…so much i didnt even know about -im excited to pursue this journey. time to move on

[hazelsmom]

I said I would use this to gush about my Hazel girl. So I am. I truly believe she was meant to be mine. From the moment I first saw her. She was brought to our house for a meet and greet and I was in the bedroom. She walked up in there, hopped her ass on the bed, got in my lap and licked my face after sniffing a bit, then hopped back down and went off to explore the rest of her new home. I just knew, right in that moment, she was the dog I had been waiting for. We had lost our boy, Silvio, in January of 2020. I felt heart break like I'd never felt before. It hurt me so badly. Especially during his last few days, when he was so sick. He cried. Cried out in terrible pain. Which crushed me, since he had always been such a freaking tank. He would seriously get injured and not even notice. He broke a nail off on one of his paws, it was all bloody and we flipped out. He was like oh. Yeah I didn't notice. So for him to be crying in pain like that had to mean my sweet, innocent old man had to be in serious pain. I cried with him. I laid down next to him when Studer left for a few minutes and just BEGGED him to let go. I'll take care of him, I promise. You can go. We will be fine. I hated to see him in so much pain, that I sincerely wanted him to just let go. To be at peace. To not feel pain. We took him to the vet the next day, after the longest night in the world. We took turns laying in the floor with him, he couldn't get on the bed like he liked. So we built him a little pallet on the floor with the blanket he loved so much. I remember cheering him on when he finally ate. We had tried and tried, but he turned everything away. I tried some shredded BBQ chicken we had, and he actually ate a small bowl. I sat in the kitchen floor, crying and telling him what a good boy he was. Told him to eat as much as he wanted. I'd go buy more if he wants! He didn't, he only had the one bowl. He didn't sleep, and neither did we. Just laying with him in the floor, telling him how much we loved him.

We knew it would be hard. But we knew it was the right thing to do. He was in pain. He was miserable. No need to drag it out so we could have what, a few more days with him? He wasn't our Silvio anymore anyway. He couldn't move really. So we went to the vet. He seemed to enjoy his last car ride, we rolled the windows down in the back seat and he did actually stick his gigantic head out the window lol. I think he knew. We got there, and he just calmly got out of the car and walked on in. Normally, he'd be so stoked to be at the vet, to be around new people loving all over him! He loved the attention!! But I think even the workers knew why we were there before we even walked in. They all had this sad look on their face, and talked real low. They took us back to the room, and laid down a big fleece blanket, and he laid right down on it. No fuss or anything. We didn't even tell him to. I knew he was ready. I don't think I could have taken it if he was scared and freaked out or something. If I had had to hold him down or something. Nope. He let the vet tech put the IV in after she shaved his little paw, no problem. She gave us a little bottle with some of his fur in it. Studer's mom asked if she could have that, as a little token. We had already asked for the paw print, so we agreed. Then they gave him a sedative, and told us it took about ten minutes to work, so they'd be back to check on him. So we stayed with him, Studer was behind him holding him, and I had his big ole head in my lap. Studer's mom sat in a chair in the room and cried with us. She came down and gave him some love and said her goodbyes to him and we all cried more. Then the vet came back, and asked us if we were ready. Said we could take all the time we needed, no rush. We told her we were ready. He was ready. So she got down there and explained what everything was she was injecting in him. Then she got the final shot and told us okay, so. This is it. I'll inject this in him, and he'll be gone within a minute or two. He might have a reaction, but I promise that's normal and he is NOT in pain. It's just their body involuntarily reacting. But he didn't react, really. He did kinda shake a bit and make the kind of noises he would make in his sleep sometimes, but it was over in seconds and then he was just....gone. that was it. My boy was gone forever. His eyes were still open and he just looked like he was laying down peacefully. But he wasn't. He wasn't in there. Nothing was anymore. They told us we could have as much time as we wanted with him, and then we were free to leave whenever, they'd take care of everything after that. We stayed for a minute or two, but we both agreed, that wasn't our Silvio anymore. He was gone. He'd never feel any pain ever again, and he could finally rest. We left and cried the whole way home.

The house felt so empty without him. Coming home and no one there to excitedly greet is at the door. He was such a presence. Studer and I laid in bed just crying. Holding each other and crying. We missed him so much already, but we got 12 great years with him. Studer had found him before he ever met me, about a year before. He was hanging around his friends parents house by the lake, and messing with their dog. His friends dad was gonna "get rid of him," but just couldn't bring himself to do it once he looked at him in the eyes. So Studer took him home. He lived with his friend, his friends girlfriend and daughter, and his friends mom in an apartment, and his friend and girlfriend just randomly brought home two dogs one day. Studer was mad, they had talked about getting dogs, Studer loves dogs and can't see himself without one. They agreed, but then didn't include him when they went to the shelter. So he brought home Silvio and told them hey y'all did that to me so fuck it. Silvio was all skin and bones, covered in ticks. He had a piece of rope embedded in his neck Studer had to very carefully doctor. Took the ticks off one at a time. Cleaned him up real good and fed him. So Silvio was hopelessly devoted to him from then on lol. That was HIS dog. His best friend. Silvio loved me, of course. And I loved him. But Studer was always first for him. I had always been a little jealous, honestly. It wasn't anyone's fault and I wasn't mad at all about it, just. You know. I'd like to have that kind of bond, too. But while Silvio was a wonderful dog, he didn't really do well with other dogs. So I couldn't get one of my own. But we spent 12 wonderful years with him by our side. And then he was just gone. He had trouble getting on the bed one day, and then he was gone within four days.

Six weeks had passed without him. We did borrow Pretty Girl for like, almost two weeks once. We just missed having a dog in the house, and Danielle was always down to drop off ole PG with us lol. We loved her, too, and lost her not too long ago. We had to go with her to the vet, too, and cried with her til the end. I'll talk more about PG later, when she eventually moved permanently with us lol. Anyway. Studer had a girl he sometimes sold weed to. They weren't exactly friends or anything, but she texted him one day asking about some, and happened to say hey and BTW if you know anyone looking for a dog, I'm trying to re-home one. So Studer asked her about the dog. Told him she has rescued her from an abusive situation, where she was being neglected and just tied up in a garage, super skinny and didn't even know her name. Mya took her home with her, but she already had a dog, and having two in the house was more than she thought she'd be able to handle. Said it wasn't fair to Hazel, she didn't get the attention she needed, and her dog wouldn't play with her much, which hurt Hazel's feelings lol. She loves to play with other dogs. So anyway, Mya was just kinda asking around if anyone could take her. She wasn't gonna take her to a shelter. So Studer asked her for a picture and some info about her. She sent the worst freaking picture lol. Both of us were like ehh idk....we didn't wanna say oh she's not that cute. Luckily though, Studer got her to just bring her over and let us meet her. See if it's a good fit. So she brought her over that same night, and she never left lol. We both knew she belonged to us. That was two years ago.

She's always preferred me to Studer. Just a smidge. She loves him. She does. She misses him when he leaves. She snuggles him. She likes to sleep next to him sometimes. But she is my girl. Mine. She absolutely loves me and she would give her life for mine. I know it. When Studer and I start fighting like we do, she plops herself right the fuck in my lap, eyeballing him and daring him to do something. Oh and if he does something? Fucking forget it. She can and has bit him before. Just barking and growling at him the whole time, and getting her teeth sunk in to him wherever she can, until he backs the fuck off. Then, she comes back to me and gets just as close as she can get, comforting me but also on high alert, watching and protecting me. She'll understand that I'm upset and need her, and get right up next to me and let me spoon her. She'll lick the tears off my face for me. She just adores me. And I love her. I truly feel a deep connection with her. I feel like she understands me. One time, she had gotten herself out of the backyard. Used to be places where the fence was fucked up and she could crawl under it. We never noticed with Silvio, he was too big. So she'd be all the way at the very back of the yard, crawl under the fence, and take off running in people's yards. I called for her, she came running along the perimeter of the fence. She'd usually just come right on home if you called quickly enough for her. She'd just be waiting for you at the front door lol. Anyway, this time, I happened to be near the fence, so she came running over towards me. The problem was I was alone. And no where near the damn gate to let her in. She stood up on her hind legs, and had her front paws in a hole on the fence, and I was able to like, kinda pick her up? And she instinctively like, climbed the fence with me helping her. We were just so in sync together!!! It was honestly beautiful. It's hard to describe exactly what happened, but it was truly a great moment and absolutely wonderful for strengthening our bond. She trusted me to get her over that fence, and I did it. I was so fucking excited, but no one was around to see it lol. I ran inside to tell Studer because I was just so happy about it. I had tried yelling for him, I wasn't far from the bedroom window, but no luck. I was afraid if I left her to go get him or something, she'd take off. She doesn't really run off like that anymore, either. We blocked off all the weak spots, we'd block one and she'd find another, but we got them all. She can still ram the gate, but we've recently gotten to the point that she runs towards it and acts like she's gonna ram it, but will stop when I call her name. So proud of her. I just had to fix the little light I got for her collar in Gatlinburg. I don't worry much about her. She'll always come home. She really doesn't like being alone or far from us. But it's not like she pays attention to traffic laws. I worry about her crossing the street and getting hit :( right after I got her that light, she ran out the gate and over to the neighbors house like she always did. I called for her and she came running over to me. And I saw it. The big ass truck coming down our street. I could just see it hitting her. I froze. I couldn't scream or anything. But then I hear the trucks brakes squeal, and he stopped just in time. Said he saw that orange light, and realized oh shit, something is moving!! He couldn't see what it was, but just instinctively hit the brakes, then realized it was a dog, and got out and then saw me, running towards her lol. He was like man, if it weren't for that light, I would not have seen her in time!!!! So it definitely paid for itself lol. She's almost entirely white, so she is easier to see at night. Silvio sucked when he got out at night. His all black ass just blending in to the night lol.

I just love Hazel so damn much. I love the weird shit she does. Like how she'll lick all the sauce off of something before she eats it. Like hamburger Helper, she licks allllll the cheese off. Then eats the noodles. Then the beef. It takes her forever. I love how she's me favorite little dishes pretreater. I let her lick everything clean then wash it lol. I love how she loves to run as fast as she can. And how she jumps when she's chasing her ball. I love how she sleeps just as close to me as she can get. How I'll get so annoyed that I can't really move with her laying on me, but I miss her when she's sleeping next to Studer lol. I love how every night, around 11pm-midnightish, she gets so fucking antsy and hype, but it's just because she wants you to lay down and cuddle her. She'll stand there and look at me while I get myself ready to lay down, and I'll tell her hold on baby, let mommy get settled first. And she will. Then curls up next to me, and insists on belly rubs til I can't do them anymore lol. I love it when I sort of wake up in the morning, but not really, I'm still like half asleep, but I might move or something. And she knows it, and will start to get excited thinking it's outside time. But I just try and go back to sleep. So she'll be like oh. Well. Okay. I'll just keep on laying here. Oh I'm just adjusting myself, no need to worry. I'm not up though...unless you are? No? Okay.. I love how she's desperately in love with our neighbor across the street, and if he's outside in his yard, she'll runnnnn over to him, and he'll just scoop her ass up in his arms, and carry her back over to me while she just melts in his arms and gazes at him lol. He just smiles and gets down and welcomes her. He loves her, too. I love that everyone loves her. she makes such an impression. I love how smart she is. She really does pick up new things so quickly. Mya said she didn't even know her name, but it didn't take very long for her at all t learn it and get used to things. I love how much she loves her toys. And how when someone comes back home, she runs to grab her toy, and puts it in her mouth and greets you with it. I love all the weird noises she makes. Her cute little snores. I love her weird ass dog breath. When she puts her whole ass head on my face. Just. Everything. I could go on forever. But mostly, I love that she is MY dog. I finally know what Studer felt like with Silvio. She is mine.

Oh. So I know I said earlier I'd talk more about Pretty Girl. And I will. I promise. Just not right now. This was about Hazel and her journey to becoming our dog. Pretty Girl will always hold a special place in my heart, but I think she deserves her own post.

Also, here's a picture of the girl in question, my baby Hazel.

#ilovemydog #cute doggo #my dog is the best #mydogismychild #mydogiscutest

[vvipedout]

5/5/22

hey tumblr its allie i never made friends or got personal on here but i have like 500 followers so who even uses this anymore wazzup i just had to go through hell to get my account back but i really want to start writing on here because journaling is cool and all but 1. isnt it so ominous and cool that someone random can be reading all of my thoughts? like slay and 2. writing is literally so tiring and boring to me and my brain works way too fucking fast for me to be able to remember what i want to say when im writing. okay so anyways i dont really care about giving yall context of everything thats going on in my life right now because literally if you know you know and if not then youll figure it out unless i abandon this project like i almost abandon everything else i start lmfao i am mentally ill. my L key is like fucked up i think weed crumbs be getting under my keys.

anyways heres whats up. life is good but its weird. i lost so many people i thought were truly close to me and understood me in the past year so i feel a mix of like cherishing and yearning to be closer to the friends that i am lucky to still have and do understand me yet also being like fuck everyone because people are weird and always end up disappointing me. i lost my only real best friend in my teen/adult life over the dumbest fucking shit but they just changed. i dont know that person anymore. the things that were revealed to me in our “friendship breakup” were really telling because they never tried to talk to me. they could never face me and its just disappointing, because this whole time i was the one who saw something in them that they never even saw in the first place. it was probably my fault for being the type of person i am. i cant explain it, i really am just like a big spider and everyone who comes into my life gets entangled into my web. i probably put too much of my life and my burden onto them. but whats done is done, i dont miss them at all. i’m more so disappointed that they could throw away our entire relationship and everything we have ever been through together - for reasons still unknown to me. ive moved on. i love the friends i do have. im so lucky to have gotten closer to someone who has become such an important person in my life. we basically see eachother every day atp but its such a calming presence and always a highlight of my day. they’ve brought out a creative side of me through the past 6 months we’ve gotten closer and i love who i am because of that. i think its really funny that i am so easily inspired by people who i think are cool, i just think .0002% of people are actually cool. theyre so cool to me

my love life is completely dry. sahara desert. im still practically in love with someone who literally could give less of a shit about me and it fees like im trapped. they abandoned me but my brain cant let it go like its almost been a year and it still doesnt even feel real. i be really having delusions sometimes and its scary to me. i cant stop checking their social media and every time i do i just get so mad but i still keep doing it. they literally blocked me on everything. i sound like such a fucking stalker but it also feels like this is what they wanted by doing what they did to me. if you only knew what they said to me to make me feel this way - like you could love me with a burning passion one day and twelve hours later be ice fucking cold to me and cut me off for the weirdest shit. this must be a pattern in my life lmfao

it also hurt that in losing my “best friend” they did the exact same thing to me that my ex did. and they were there for all of it, with me, i dont remember them comforting me, moreso telling me off in an i told you so kind of way but like you knew what that did to me and you went and did it to me too? idk

im already tired of typing and i didnt even talk about my day today but it was pretty good. i have anxiety over the craziest shit but i love being around people who make me feel safe. i left early from work bc i was having anxiety abt this favor i told my coworker id do them so i had to go get stuff from the beauty supply and idk i just wanted to go home... but i got my karma for doing that because i smoked in the park had a great ass time and then went in the subway to go home, someone opens the door with a stroller im like yasssss and then i walk through and cops grab me. BITCH!!!! i got a $100 subway ticket like are you fuckin serious mate... every time i cry i basically get a panic attack and cant breathe so that happened in the middle of the 14th st station it was really embarrassing but mostly annoying because like really bro... ur gonna give me a ticket.. i literally told these fuck asses that i couldnt afford it and they felt sympathetic BUT GAVE ME THE BIGGEST FINE!!! GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! so i let that ruin my day for like an hour but then i got over it. its just that im so broke rn and money gives me SO much anxiety like being broke is actually the worst fucking shit ever :(

clearly feeling manic since im typing this in the first place but im excited for tomorrow because i have my first psych appt since 2019 and maybe will get rediagnosed/get on new meds because my anxiety is fr out of control :( and im paranoid and i cant sleep at night and it feels like bugs are crawling on me and i can feel every inch of fabric on my sports bra touching me and i probably have adhd too after u read this crazy ass essay u could probably tell lmfao anyways. going to smoke and watch teen mom and then go to sleep. maybe reblog some more shit and see whats going on on my dash. gn besties

#life

[ganyuslily]

you leave them | genshin headcanons

characters: childe, zhongli, xiao

category/extra notes: angst, alcohol consumption

a little summary: how would they react if you left them?

a/n: now...... one might ask... “knives, why did you do that?” and well..... the simple answer is that i just can<3

zhongli

“oh, i see” is his response when you tell him you wish to part ways. hes stoic and collected, but on the inside hes breaking down

he tries to pull himself together so desperatly after you leave, but he cant

you were his everything. he doesnt understand why you left

was he not good enough? was he perhaps too boring? was he not showing he loves you enough?

in the end he becomes numb

“ive lived on this earth for over 6000 years, its doesnt hurt anymore”

oh, but it does. it does so bad that he wants to crumble everytime hes reminded of your smile or your laugh

he meets up with childe every night to drink to forget about you but it just seems to have the opposite effect

the harbinger looks at him with pity; he doesnt say anything though. he just keeps him company

when he finally accepts it, he becomes more tired

he already lost so many. he really thought you were the one to stay

childe

a part of him wants to believe its a cruel joke

but when u dont laugh it off and just stare at him in silence, awaiting his answer, the only thing he can muster up is “i wish you a good life”

for the first time in his life, tartaglia doesnt fight. if it surprises you, you dont show it. you silently take your stuff and leave

hes not really surprised, but it still hurts so badly — he doesnt blame you for not wanting to stay. being involved with the fatui was never a good thing to begin it, especially with a harbinger

he becomes more closed off. he doesnt joke around that much anymore, his signature smile not on his face anymore

he solely focuses on his job; he overworks himself to the point of exhaustion, but he doesnt stop. youre not here to tell him to take a break and he wonders if that was one of the reasons you left

he wonders how youre doing. he truly did mean it when he wished you a good life. he hopes youll find someone that will be able to give you a relationship that you want and need

maybe in another life hell find you again and treat you the way you deserved

xiao

he doesnt say anything. he just nods and disappears

when he comes back to wangshu inn a couple of hours later, a part of him longs to see you on the balcony, but youre not there

you really left

he becomes lost; he doesnt know what to do or how to act

he just wanders through liyue in the hopes of seeing you

he never does

after months of your absence, he finally comes to the terms youre not coming back. that moment, his eyes tear up but no tears spill from them

he becomes even more silent than he used to be, even more closed off

verr goldet notices that. she doesnt say anything and even though she wishes for him to recover from the heartbreak, she knows he wont. youll stay in his mind forever. hell love you forever, no matter what

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact headcanons #genshin headcanons #genshin x reader #zhongli x reader #xiao x reader #genshin angst #genshin impact angst #zhongli angst #childe angst #xiao angst #ganyuslily.writes

[iwadori]

When they leave you on your wedding day (Sakusa, Bokuto)

Genre: angst

Word count: 1.7K

masterlist

Sakusa’s will make more sense if you read this you don’t have too but it’ll help.

Sakusa:

“Y/N,” you hear knocks on the door outside your dressing room “I-I need to talk to you.”    

“But Omi, a groom must never see their bride until they meet at the alter,” you say behind the door.

“I-It’s important, and I must tell you right now.” he says a bit more intensely

“Okay, Okay... you can come in but im hiding in the closet since my dress is already on.”

“Ok.”

You hear the door open and shut, and a lot of pacing around of what you can presume was his fresh wedding shoes trotting against the hard wood floors.

“Omi,” you call wondering why he hasn’t spoken yet “Is everything okay?”

“Umm yes I-it's fine...it just I-” he says pausing

“Just what?”

“I don’t really know how to say this Y/N, I don’t really know how to say it’s just-” he says again pausing himself taking a deep breath.

“Just what Omi? Don’t tell me you’ve got cold feet love,” you say laughing at the thought of it, but your laughter ceased when you don’t hear the ‘Of course I don’t have cold feet Y/N’ that you were expecting.

“Omi?” you asked again, hoping he had he was still going to give you the response you wanted.

“Omi..” you repeated.

“Omi!” you say finally, now exiting the room (with your wedding dress on) to see why your fiance was not responding.  

To your shock, Omi was sitting down on a couch with his face in his hands with soft sobs coming from his mouth and runny tears and snot coming from his eyes and nose. “Omi whats wrong?” you say loudly, alerting him,

“Y/N you look beautiful!” he says sniffling.

“Omi you were meant to say that at the alter, but now that your crying forget about the dress... what’s wrong?” you say sitting down next to him.

“I don’t know how to say this...” he starts, looking away from you  

“Say what? Omi look at me...” you say feeling anxious  

“We...We can’t get married today,” he says still with his eyes off you.

“What do you mean, we can’t get married.” you ask but you get no answer,

“Omi answer me,”

“Say something please!” you say turning his body so that he’s facing you, his eyes are all puffy and bloodshot from the crying and now tears are filling yours “What do you mean Omi,”

“Remember Ex’s name?” he says confusing you cause what did she have to do with anything.

“Yes I remember her, I remember vividly being the girl you cheated on her with after you claimed you were ‘breaking up with her’ so I had to tell her.” you scoff “so yes, I definitely remember Y/N, what about her?”

“We recently umm how can I say this,” he says struggling for words “reconnected... and I do truly miss her and she’s made me rethink some things, see some things...”

“And those things are?”

“I’ve always loved her, she’s always been my one. The one.” he says smiling a bit at the thought of her making you feel sick.

“But Omi what about us? What about the wedding that’s going to happen in less than an hour?”

“Im sorry Y/N I’ll tell everyone what has happened.”

“I don’t want you to do that, I want you to marry me.” you say desparetly “please Omi, why her? Why now..”

“It’s always been her, and you’ve known that.” he says standing up “The day you told her about our ONE NIGHT stand, was the day that I thought I couldn’t live on, but when you came and accepted the pathetic mess I was, I gladly dated you since I had nothing else to loose...but its been 4 years since then I'm a changed man and EX NAME is a changed girl, a forgiving girl and the spark we had wasn’t lost I guess...and Im happy now”

“But what about me?” you say crying “What about me? And my happiness, don’t I deserve that? Don’t I deserve to finally be happy.”  

“Y/N, you do deserve to be happy. But not with me, not at the stake of my own happiness, I wont allow it.”

“Omi bu-”

“God Y/N, don’t be so desperate!” he said agressively “Im sorry for stopping the wedding, I know your parents have put in alot of money in it and I will certainly pay them back... in due time of course.”

“You’re sorry for stopping the wedding?” you say angrily “Not sorry for stopping this relationship. Stopping the longlasting feelings ive felt for you since the day I met you?”

“Cut the crap Y/N, all we did was have one night stand.” he says rolling his eyes and unbuttoning his top botton of his shirt and loosening his tie I dont know why but this Is what guys do when theyre mad in the movies.

“Your such a liar Omi, you used to come into my work place everyday flirting with me talking about how much you wanted me, PINING AFTER ME, making me fall in love with you and not even telling me you had a girlfriend at the time.” you yell “and you summarise that all to me falling in love with you after one measly one night stand.”

“I don’t want to do this Y/N,” he says heading to the door “We’re finished. No more wedding. No marriage. And definitely don’t contact me after this. We’re through.” he slams the door behind him, leaving you alone and jilted in your wedding dress.

You get why he broke it off with you, and technically you do play a small part to blame. You were the one that told his girlfriend that you slept with him and then dated him afterwards, so I guess ‘how you get them, is how you lose them’ definitely works in this case.

Bokuto

The bokuto and L/N wedding was going to be a joyous occasion. Your soon to be husband told everybody he saw that he were to be wed with you, he couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Bokuto calm down, we’ll be married soon.” was what you always said, whenever he started his rambles to which he always replied “I know Y/N, I cant wait.”

When it came to your grand day, you were excited from the moment you woke up you were buzzing, wondering if Bokuto was feeling even a half of the feelings that you felt.  

You looked beautiful in your dress, anticipating the look on Bokuto’s face when he sees you at that alter. Your wedding party was already at the hotel you were getting married at whilst Bokuto’s got ready at the houe and decided to drive there.

So after you got ready, all you had to do is wait for Kuroo, one of Bokuto’s best men, to tell you when it’s time for you to walk down the aisle.  

You were impatient, your leg was shaking now you knew how Bokuto felt when he rambled on how excited he was for you to become Bokuto Y/N. You finally heard a knock on the door and you dashed to open it,

“Kuroo, thank god you’re here!” you exclaim giving him a hug “I’ve been waiting ages for you, lets go! Take me to my future husband.” You pull his arm practically trying to run and see your man before Kuroo pulls your arm halting you.

“Y/N...” he says shifting his eye sight from left to right “I think we should sit down for a minute.”

“Why? Is he not here yet, gosh he’s always been late to things” you joke “but fine we can sit for a minute or two.”

As you sat, Kuroo turns his body to you putting his hands on your knees with his eyes looking sad “Y/N. I don’t know how to say this but...” he gulps putting his head down “there’s been an accident.”

“Accident? What do you mean accident? What happened? Is everyone okay.” you ask a bit frantically, since it would sad for someone to be hurt on your wedding day.

“That’s the thing Y/N, Bokuto he..”  

“Bokuto what? He’s okay.. Right?” you ask staring at Kuroo “He’s fine right?”

“No he isnt,” he says

“What do you mean he isn’t what happened, where is he? I need to see him.” you say getting up before Kuroo pulls you back down.

“He isn’t anywhere... well anywhere for you to see him. There weren’t enough cars for us, well there were but one of them the engine wasn’t starting and it sound a bit dodgy. But Bokuto said, he insisted for us all to be there. I even offered to let him take my spot in the other cars, I did Y/N I really did, but he promised us that he’d be fine. He left a bit before he did, saying that if he had chance to wander around the hotel it may calm his nerves. But when we were driving, we saw this car all mangled up on the side of the road, it was his. I told him not to drive that car, I told him and he did and I-” he rambled with tears pooling in his eyes “Im sorry Y/N im really sorry.”

“But why why didn’t you call?”

“He told us not too, he said that he wanted you be to as happy as you could be on this day as he knew it wouldn’t end with you becoming his wife.”

“But the ambulance, you called an ambulance right?”

“He was D.O.A, Akaashi went with him since he knew that he probably wouldn’t be able to deliver the news to you.”

“Why? Why did he leave me? On our wedding day, it was supposed to be our day and now hes gone Kuroo hes gone.” you wail, but kuroo wraps his arms around you in a brotherly hug as he cries too.  

That’s how you spend your wedding night, crying in your friends arms over the loss of your ‘husband’ and his ‘brother.’

Bokuto’s funeral was the week after, and it was not an event you were excited for. It was a hard day to get through, but you did it with the help of Kuroo and Akaashi. You visit Bokuto every year on your wedding anniversary talking to your husband even though it always reminds you of the day that never came to be.

This is the wedding angst that is a gift from me to you sweetheart @teesumu you can totally block me after this cause girll I cried whilst writing it.

If you want a nice ending to the bokuto story to make you feel better read this

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#signedwithane😌 #haikyu angst #haikyu headcanons #haikyu scenarios #haikyu #haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto angst #bokuto scenarios #sakusa angst #sakusa x reader #sakusa scenarios

[sititran]

Everything I wanted

Everything I wanted a Loki X Reader One Shot

Trigger warnings! Torture, Blood, Broken Bones, PTSD, Panic Attacks.

Note: Listened to Billie Eilish “Everything I Wanted” a lot while writing. totally stole the title.

Tags: Gender Neutral Reader, Torture to comfort, declaration of feelings, happy ending, angst, comfort, everyone lives AU, Loki is Avenger AU

Words: 3,200

Over the years as an Avenger you grew numb to the dangers associated with all the missions and adventures that it brought. It was all in a days work. Until it wasn’t.

It all felt routine in the beginning, but with out warning, it all went sideways. Fast. Surrounded by enemies, with more weapons than you ever could carry. The rest of the team, you could hear shouting in your comms.  They lost your tracking beacon. Shouting you told them what you could. Steve gave orders, Natasha Copied. Loki shouted something back, angry.  It all happened so fast. You tried to fight your way out, but it was of no use. But to your surprise they didn’t kill you. You felt the needle pierce your skin in your neck as you struggled against those holding you down.  As you slid into darkness and nothing you heard Loki’s voice fade in your ear, telling you to be strong, he was on his way.

The enemy moved so fast, that it was if the struggle didn’t happen and you were being transported off to another location by the time Loki reached the spot you were overtaken. You had no way of seeing the panicked look on his face, covered in sweat, tears and anger written in his eyes, green seider tearing apart the very walls and shaking the ground.  You were already klicks away by the time the rest of the team regrouped and Loki was reaming out Stark and Rogers.  You would have calmly touched his arm, looked at him and told him all would be well if you were there. But there was no way of knowing. The rest looked on in guilty fear.

You had no way of knowing how long you were in that pit of nothing. When you woke, muscles all afire and stiff, you couldn’t see much of your surroundings. You tried to move, but found that there were thick straps binding you down into a metal chair like device. You knew it was metal, since so much of it touched your now exposed skin that once was covered by your gear, left only down to a tank top and shorts. You shivered as the sweat evaporated, still struggling against the restraints. A disembodied voice, deep and masculine emanated from somewhere with dark words.  

“Fuck off.” You yelled back at the voice. You were defiant at the best of times, this was not the best of times.  The lights shone in such a way that you couldn’t see the face of the person who came and then injected you again. This was much different than the sedative they dosed you with before, this you could feel instantly. Like sharp throwing stars, but spreading out into every vein and artery, further with each blood pumping heartbeat. You screamed as the pain spread into your eyes, and head, tears, you could not hold back.

You couldn’t quite tell, but you thought you could hear joy in the voice.

Time lost all meaning. There was only the voice, the pain, then if you were lucky some water. They didn’t bother with food. For a short time they had attached a IV into your hand.  After it was removed, the voice started again. Maybe it had a point. But you still spat at the words before darkness embraced you.

In this darkness you thought you dreamed. You saw your teammates at Avengers campus, around a briefing table. Then Loki appeared, pacing like a caged animal. Worry etched on his handsome features. It hurt you more in your spirit than anything that had been done to your body. Then more nothingness.

Your eyes shot open only to have blinding light to greet you. The pain from the blade piercing your skin finally reached your conscious self, as your eyes adjusted and could just begin to see the drops of blood move down your arm. The voice assured you that your friends had truly abandoned you. That you meant nothing to them. How they couldn’t be bothered to rescue you. How much better would it be to submit. You said nothing, clenching your jaw to steel yourself against the next round of pain. Which did come.

The cycle kept repeating, the voice, the pain, and worst of all, the quiet. They left you alone, strapped up, cold, just hydrated enough to keep you alive. There was aches in your fatigued muscles, a gnawing in your stomach that would not cease. You didn’t know how long it was, but it had been some time since you even last felt the need to use the bathroom. You were covered in sweat and your own blood.  You didn’t understand the why worst of all. And this all would be yours alone in the quiet.

“Stark will pay a ransom” You tried to bargain with them.

“Stark won’t waste a penny for your life.” the voice told you in reply. More tortures. The voice was right. If any of them cared at all wouldn’t they come for you? You tried to remember every interaction with every Avenger leading up to the failed mission that led to your capture. Wanda’s cooking, Vision’s lack of humor. Loki’s glowing smile. Yes, the one that would meet all the way to his eyes when you playfully bantered in training.  Loki’s laugh when he pulled a prank on Banner.  Natasha's anger in retaliation. Even remembering the way Vision lovingly looked at Wanda.  Not that you’d ever seen that look at yourself.  But you did didn’t you.

A new form of torture was introduced, this time devised to make you feel like you’re drowning. You stoically endured, each round. Which seemed to anger the voice. Which went back to more painful methods. They unlocked the wrist restraint, the faceless ubiquitous torturer, smelling of stale sweat themselves, coldly strapped your arm into a new device.  The voice kept speaking, judging your reactions apparently, and after each request that went ignored, the new apparatus was tightened, which bent your arm further, and more unnaturally each time. Finally the voice got angry and yelled at you. You spat towards the blinding light. And then you heard the snap as much as you felt it. The pain allowed you to black out thankfully.

In your unconscious state you saw green eyes, kind, soft, playful. Eyes that said so much. You would believe anything those eyes would tell.  Maybe they even could have love in them.

The explosion brought you back into your body. Even if you wished it hadn’t.

The voice was still there, telling you that it wasn’t you they were coming for. But to protect their own secrets. Then it laughed. “But I don’t want those” it said. “I want the Asgardian witch.”

The whole thing was a ploy. They wanted Loki.

“Why” you struggled to ask through pain and gritted teeth.  

The voice was gone. Only to leave you listening to the chaos unfolding ever closer to your location. You screamed with all you had left in you. “RUN! ITS A TRAP!” Hoping to spare whomever was there to hear.  Your vision, fading at the edges saw Loki knock through the lone door. The torturer had hid behind the chair, and made to lunge at the tall figure, with some form of device. “No!” you tried to shout, but came out nearer a hoarse whisper. But it was enough and the fury on the gods face knew no equal. He grabbed the arms that outstretched in attack and you heard their own sickly snap, before Loki grabbed his neck and twisted fast and brutal. The body hid the floor in a thud.

“Loki, its a trap. They want to take you. Get out of here!” You mustered.

You saw his eyes fill with tears as he saw you and perceived the surroundings, taking in the damage you bore.

He used his green seider to carefully undo the restraints, and lifted you out of the chair as if you weighed nothing at all, mindful of your arm, still bent at an odd angle. You could feel his forehead to yours, and a deep sigh come from his chest.  It allowed you to welcome the darkness once again.

You didn’t know how he managed to regroup with the others, avoid the rest of the trap that had been set and sprung. But you did know that it was his green eyes that you saw when you did finally wake in the med center of Avengers campus. They were filled with relief more than exhaustion.

“Hey” you rasped. And you saw the real smile that reached his eyes, not just one in a hazy memory. You sloppily tried to move your left hand towards him, seeing the IV hooked into the back. He took it as you offered. And it was everything you wanted, there wasn’t the pain anymore. Just him. You closed your eyes to savor the moment, so different than all the others.

“Rest.” he commanded softly. “I’ll be right here. As long as I’m here, no can hurt you.”  

True to his word, he was still there holding your hand when you woke in earnest. Somehow you managed to smile and feel joy at this. You also began to notice the bandages and the high tech looking cast on your right arm. “You’re still here. I didn’t imagine it.”

“No. I’m here.” It was so much more than just the words. There was a desperate squeeze of your hand, a look in his eyes.

“It’s not your fault” You told him, thinking that it must be guilt that kept him there by your bedside.  But you were wrong.  After a while Banner with the help of Natasha managed to convince Loki to leave your side for some rest of his own. But neither of them met your eyes.

“Is it that bad” you asked when Rogers brought you some food when Banner thought you were ready to handle it.

“Well your color has been better. But Banner and his team are skilled physicians. You’ll be hale and hearty soon.” He wasn’t exactly chipper either.  

“Don’t do that” you told him.  “Its not your fault either!” But wasn’t it? Wasn’t it all everyone’s fault? Or was it the voice in your memory?

“I’m glad you’re home.”  Was all he said.

That evening Loki returned to your bedside, looking much more rested than he did before. Banner came by before any real conversation could take place and was encouraged by how well you were recovering, and thought that you could get off the IV and recoup in your quarters. Loki wouldn’t have it. “No you can stay in mine. I won’t have you recover alone.” And he gingerly escorted you to his, and tucked you into his big bed with the large green velvet blanket. It was soft and quiet, sleep calling, but you resisted. You had spent enough time unconscious.  

“Why?” You asked Loki as he pulled a chair from across the room to be close to the bed.  

“Why what?” He replied. “Why did you get taken? Why did you survive? Why what. Why is a terribly awful thought.”

“Why did YOU come for me? They wanted to capture YOU. I was nothing to them. I’m not even anything here.” The questions were hard to speak.

“I would always come for you. You may be nothing to them. But you are everything to me. It is my failure that you haven’t known.”  Loki had such intensity in his words.

You desperately tried to rack your memories for the basis for this. Missions and ordinary days seemingly  endless blended together.  The pause drew out too long for comfort and there must have been a look of confusion across your face. Loki spoke up again. “But, eh, you need your rest. I can go, Thor’s just next door.” He started to shuffle back towards the door.

“Stay. Please.” You said, calmly, remorseful for not being faster to respond before. You made him an offer you doubted he’d refuse.  “Read something for me.”

It had happened only once before. You both had been conspicuous about your reading habits around the compound, much to the annoyance of some of the others. Sam for one just never understood how you’d both almost always choose a book instead of joining any one for movies or TV binge fests.  You would inevitably laugh, or groan at some passage and without asking automatically share it aloud for Loki who always seemed to be near by, or even just to yourself. But then there was the time where Loki nudged you, and read to you about 2 pages of his book. It was such a bittersweet passage full of love and loss, and when he was done,  you were left stunned.

Loki went to the shelf opposite the bed.  “Anything particular?”  You shook your head. He picked a volume set of Dickens, Great Expectations. He started reading in his accented smooth timber. After a few minutes you reached your hand out to his, and he met yours with his own. Soon you were asleep, and yet still Loki read.

It wasn’t until later in the night, you started to feel the pain. Then the voice again, and your breath was stuck in your chest crushed under a great weight. You tried to fight free, but it was like you limbs were frozen and refused to move and respond. Trying to scream, no sound came out even as you tried, mouth wide. It felt like an eternity. It was then when you woke up in a pained jerking motion, the light hurting your eyes Eventually you noticed Loki kneeling next to the bed, sleep mixing with worry on his features. He softly held your arm, even though you couldn’t help but notice how you were drenched in sweat. He was saying something you didn’t hear.

“What” you managed to eek out.

“Breathe for me. Its OK. It’s not real. Hear my voice. Feel my hand. Just breath for me darling.”

Slowly your breathing steadied.

“Good job.” Loki praised. “Can you take a big one? Good.” As you followed his direction. He asked how it felt and you told him.

“Only you really did have your voice.” Loki got up and grabbed a glass of water from the bathroom to hand it to your good hand. You drank greedily.

In the midst of your apology Loki interrupted. “No. Don’t.” He kneeled next to the bed again. “Don’t be sorry for this.” Quickly new panic started building.

“Oh. What if everyone else heard?” That would be the last thing you needed. More pity, more sympathy.  Couldn’t everyone just move forward?! Loki assured you that it couldn’t be the case.

“As much as Stark is concerned in minute details, I managed to convince him to disable FRIDAYs features for my space.  And I enchanted the space, I assure you there's no way they could.” Why would he do such a thing you asked, part of you wary for the reason.

The story Loki told, almost didn’t match the god in front of you. In fact it made you feel like you might have had it easy. But you could not pity them. Only feel that twinge in your soul that matched the reverberation of Loki’s. It wasn’t difficult to discern that it clearly was something private being revealed.

“And they others don’t know this do they.”

Loki shook his head. “Stark some, My brother a bit more. But that's where I leave it. Its irrational. Hell I know I’m not the only one who’s got trauma. Fuck” he exclaimed “ I probably caused half of it.” The conversation ended up lasting half the night, until you let our a large conspicuous yawn. Loki placed  a delicate kiss on your forehead and turned out the light, in a now seemingly less surprising fatherly’ manner. And went to respectfully sleep on his couch.

Your body healed over the coming days. Loki, with a wistful look on his face, helped you settle in your own room again.  Soon the cast on your arm would come off, and besides the new scar over your right eyebrow, you might not have ever known something had happened. Even the rest of the team even returned to their same selves.  But you know you didn’t.

Loki remained closer than before, and you welcomed it. He continued to read Great Expectations to you as continued to recoup. He’d sit on the sofa, you draped across, him pulling your feet into his lap as he read, gently rubbing your feet in the process. You knew you were coming close to finishing the book today, and were feeling sad, thinking that it would be the end of this new found intimacy. One you hadn’t realized you needed before.  

That night it happened again. This time, when you tried to scream, it was as if you head was underwater, and so the more you screamed, the closer you were to drowning. You thrashed as it felt like something was pushing you further into the water, holding you there. It wasn’t until you opened your eyes, and could see Loki next you you. Immediately you burst into tears, and desperately pulled the god to your chest. A bit stunned, he carefully held you tight to him.

“Let it out. You’re so brave, but you don’t have to be. Not now. Just let it all out.” Weeping you buried your face into his neck, grasping his shirt front. In between sobs you gasped for breath and started to shudder. “I have you. Nothing can harm you. I’m not going anywhere.”  True to his word, Loki did not  let you go, until every tear had left you and your body calmed as you pushed off his chest.  He wiped a tear away from your face softly with his thumb.

You were so blind before. You didn’t see what was in front of you. It was what everyone else had somehow figured out. Even the enemy.

It felt strange trying to find your voice again to speak, coming out more like a whisper than anything, “Why do you stay?”

Loki’s countenance, in the soft bedside light, softened more with a glow and slight smile. “Do you not know?”

“I need to hear it.” You looked in to his eyes, tears still drying in your own. “Please.”

“Because you are the sun in my night, the moon in my day. The stars of my heaven. You are the beginning and the ending. There is no other. You are my everything, and I was in denial for too long, my spirit too closed. And then I almost lost you, and it was in that moment I myself cracked open and knew I couldn’t waste another moment denying this.”

It was in defiance of all the things said by the voice. That fucking lying voice.

You reached up to hold Loki’s face in both your hands and pulled his lips into yours in a ferocious kiss.    You were anything but numb now. You felt awash in flames, consuming you from your core out through your limbs and lips. He grabbed your face and his cool touch was like electricity.

When you pulled back for a gasping breath, you knew it down through your bones, that there was no more routine life ahead.  

#fan fics #loki x reader #loki #one shot #torture #blood #knives #broken bones #ptsd #panic attack #gender neutral reader #comfort #angst #angst to comfort #declaration of feelings #marvel loki #Everything I Wanted

[oioinanami]

glimpses. (bokuto koutarou x f. reader)

word count: 2.9k

synopsis: small glimpses into your life with bokuto.

contains: fluff, everything from strangers to lovers to established relationship to married life to parents + pregnancy au

i.

Bokuto doesn’t notice you at first. You’re just one face among many in the crowd of people watching the volleyball game. But once the match is over and he sees you running towards the other team, apparently being friends with one of their setters, your hair flying behind you, eyes bright and smile even brighter, he can’t help the way his heart stumbles and his eyes widen. To him, you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, your face open and inviting, smile warm and lively. For him, it’s love at first sight - so not even Akaashi can hold him back when Bokuto asks the other team to join them for their celebratory dinner. It was just a friendly match after all, nothing more - no need for the others to be upset over having lost. To everyone’s surprise, the other team agrees, and Bokuto gets to spend the evening in your presence, somehow managing to sit beside you during dinner. You click immediately, his open and fun persona matching your own energy, even though you’re more reserved, a bit softer. That night, Bokuto makes you laugh uncontrollably for the first time, and he swears his heartbeat just flatlines. The sound is so precious he wants to bottle it up and keep it treasure for the rest of his life. By the end of the evening, he has your number saved in his phone, knowing that this night has been the beginning of something wonderful.

ii.

For your first date, you and Bokuto decide to go play laser tag. You’re on the same team, but being overexcited, Bokuto accidentally shoots you not even five minutes into the game. He apologizes over and over again, clearly mortified, but you just burst out laughing and stand on your tiptoes to brush a soft kiss against his cheek, making his heart burst and his face split into a huge smile. After that incident, he takes over the role as your personal bodyguard, dramatically sacrificing himself three times just so you don’t get shot. Thanks to his efforts, you get one of the highest rankings once the game ends, and Bokuto proudly kisses the crown of your head when he sees you placed second, yelling a “That’s my girl!” and making you blush madly.

You decide to buy some ice cream afterwards, Bokuto insisting you get all your favorite flavors because “you earned it” - his words, not yours. You shyly take his hand once you leave the store again, holding your ridiculously large ice cream cone in your other one. He gives you a soft smile, and immediately interlaces his fingers with yours before tugging you with him towards a park nearby. You lazily stroll around, quietly observing the ducks floating on the pond and dogs running around as well as the other people walking past you. Once you’ve both finished your ice cream, you decide to sit down on a bench and enjoy the last rays of sunshine, Bokuto excitedly telling you about his last volleyball match. “And you should have seen my last spike, Y/N, it was so good - Akaashi orchestrated it perfectly and-” You can’t help the soft smile spreading over your entire face, amazed at his seemingly never-ending enthusiasm and just overall cuteness. Bokuto stops mid-sentence, eyebrows lifting in slight surprise when he sees your expression.

“What-”, he asks, but then you have already leaned towards him, covering his mouth with yours. He immediately wraps both arms around you to pull you even closer to his warm body, his lips practically melting against yours. A few seconds later, his tongue pokes at your bottom lip to demand entrance, sliding into your mouth once you grant it. You only break apart when your heads begin to spin from the lack of oxygen, Bokuto pressing his forehead against yours, eyes still closed. “Please be my girlfriend, Y/N.”, he finally mumbles before opening his eyes again; they look like liquid gold in the light of the slowly setting sun, and your heart skips a beat. He’s truly just so beautiful, looking at him almost hurts. You smile and just nod once, making him exhale in obvious relief. Bokuto quickly captures your lips in yet another kiss, and you melt further into his embrace.

iii.

“Where do you want me to put this, babe?”, Bokuto huffs out, holding a giant cardboard box in his arms, the veins on his hands even more prominent than usual. You lift one eyebrow, about to reply, but Akaashi beats you to it: “Y/N literally wrote ‘kitchen’ on the box, Bokuto.” With that, he turns to you, “Honestly, sometimes I wonder how you deal with him - he can be such an airhead.” You grin and lean against the doorframe, continuing to watch Bokuto who’s just placing the last of your many, many boxes onto the kitchen counter before wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand. “Yeah, but he makes up for it by being hot.”, you reply and shoot your boyfriend a playful wink. Bokuto just rolls his eyes at you and begins to pout while Akaashi makes a gagging sound. Kuroo, who’s lazing on your brand new couch, chuckles. “Leave the two lovebirds alone, Akaashi. I think it’s cute they’re still so in love.”, he says and yawns, eyes half-lidded and expression relaxed.

“Why are you even here? You didn’t even lift one finger.”, Akaashi complains and kicks Kuroo’s feet from the small coffee table. “Someone has to provide the good looks.”, the black haired man answers smoothly before giving Akaashi a feline smile. “I’m already taking care of that.”, you reply, and stick out your tongue at Kuroo when he bursts out laughing. “How about we order some food now?”, Bokuto asks before draping one arm over your shoulder, brushing his lips against your temple, “Anyone hungry?” “Ew, ’Kou, you’re sweaty.”, you immediately squeal and try to free yourself from your boyfriend’s embrace, but he just grins and hugs you even tighter. “Yes, but I’m your sweaty.”, he answers smugly, and you scrunch up your nose, letting him kiss the tip of it. “And we can always take a shower together later.”, he mumbles before giving you a quick kiss, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Other people can hear you, you know.”, Akaashi groans, and you blush, shooting Bokuto a playful dark glare. He just winks at you, and your stomach jolts, heart skipping a beat - even after years of dating, your boyfriend still has this effect on you. “I’m very hungry after slaving away all day.”, Kuroo answers, ignoring your snort, and stands up, “And I vote for pizza.” Akaashi grumbles something about ‘wanting sushi instead’ while Bokuto scrolls through the delivery app on his phone. You just smile and lean your head against his broad shoulders, still not quite believing that this is the apartment you and him get to call your home from now on. Your boyfriend gives you a small smile, and gently tucks some of your hair behind your ear before murmuring a soft “Welcome home, babe” under his breath, his golden eyes darting from yours to your hand resting on his broad chest just above his heart and back again.

He knows that someday soon, your finger will have a ring on it.

iv.

Bokuto can’t help but cry when he sees you walking down the aisle and towards him, dressed in all white, a happy and soft smile on your face, hands nervously clutching a small bouquet of different colored roses. Somehow, he manages to say his vows even though he’s pretty much sobbing by now, and you can’t help but giggle at your fiancé - no, husband now -, gently clutching his damp cheeks between your hands when you are finally allowed to kiss and seal the vow that will keep you bonded forever. “Be glad I’m the one wearing mascara or else you’d look like a panda right now.”, you mumble against his lips when you break apart again, your friends and families cheering loudly, and your husband breaks into a bright grin. “I’d be the cutest panda ever though.”, he replies smugly, and you laugh, before letting him literally sweep you off your feet and carry you towards the reception hall, the cheers around you still not dying down and making you both laugh in glee.

You’re ready to burst with happiness when Bokuto’s beautiful golden eyes lock with yours, his smile just genuinely proud and happy. “I love you so much, my lovely and wonderful wife. Thank you for making me the happiest man by marrying me today.”, he whispers against your lips before kissing you deeply. You smile into the kiss, and tangle your fingers in his dark hair, its tips that beautiful silvery color you adore so much. “I love you too, my handsome and amazing husband.”, you reply in a hushed voice once you break apart, and Bokuto smiles, eyes beginning to water again.

“LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!”, Kuroo yells loudly when he enters the hall behind you, and claps Bokuto on his back before sweeping you up into a warm embrace, “I’m so happy for you guys! Who would have thought that you’d be the first one to tie the knot, ‘Kou? Out of all of us, I was totally betting on Akaashi to marry first.” Akaashi just playfully punches Kuroo’s arm before hugging both you and Bokuto, congratulating you quietly. His eyes are slightly red, but you decide to let it slide for now and to just tease him about it later. Your husband just laughs and ruffles his best friend’s hair before happily accepting the good wishes and hugs from the rest of your friends and families.

During your first dance, everyone can clearly see just how happy you two are, your eyes never leaving the other’s face, smiles soft and content; you‘re both just radiating pure bliss.

“Wanna bet who’ll end up the drunkest tonight? I’m saying it’ll be Hinata.”, you murmur shortly before the song ends, and Bokuto huffs out a laugh, “Nah, it’ll be Kageyama, for sure.” You grin, eyes twinkling mischievously. “Loser has to write all the thank you cards?“ “Bet.”, your husband just answers, and nuzzles your nose, his heart almost bursting with happiness.

v.

“Shhh, Daaaaddy, wake up!”

Bokuto groans and tiredly rubs his face, yelping when he sees the face of his four year old hover directly above him, wide eyes glinting in the dimly lit room. “What?”, he murmurs, mind still groggy, and his son bounces on his chest, making Bokuto groan again. “Little owl, you should be asleep! It’s still very early.”, he mumbles as quietly as possible, voice heavy with sleep. His eyes slide to your still sleeping figure beside him before hugging his son close, nuzzling his nose. “Just because you were named after the sunlight doesn’t mean you have to be awake as soon as it creeps over the horizon.” Haru gives him a mischievous yet sweet grin, looking very much like you in that second even though he has his father’s dark hair and golden eyes, before clutching Bokuto’s face between his chubby hands. “I’m hungry!”, he then whines, bottom lip wobbling dangerously, and Bokuto quickly sweeps the boy up into his arms, tiptoeing out of the dark bedroom.

“Then let’s go make some breakfast without waking mommy, okay?”, he murmurs in a hushed voice after having closed the bedroom door behind him, and Haru nuzzles closer to his father’s chest, seeking more warmth. “Okay.”, his son answers, voice sleepy all of the sudden. Bokuto just chuckles, quickly grabbing a blanket from Haru’s room and wrapping it around his son’s tiny body. After entering the kitchen, he gently places Haru on a chair before beginning to shuffle through the kitchen cabinets. “Waffles sound good?”, Bokuto asks after having found all the necessary ingredients, looking over his shoulder and at his son who just nods excitedly, suddenly much more awake after having heard the word ‘waffles’.

You find yourself alone in bed, fingers searching for your husband’s warm body that should rest beside you. Surprised to find his side of the bed empty, you open your eyes and blink a few times, the sleep tugging at your lashes making them unbelievably heavy. You sigh, and carefully roll over to get up, your steadily growing belly making it harder by the day. You shiver when your bare feet touch the cold floor, and quickly grab one of Bokuto’s hoodies, carelessly discarded on top of the rocking chair in the corner of the room. You inhale deeply while slipping it over your head, Bokuto’s scent still clinging to the fabric and filling your nose. He always smells like home, and you can’t help but smile before opening the door, being greeted by your husband’s low voice and your son’s much higher one. Your heart swells while you listen to their conversation for a few seconds; Haru is apparently in the middle of explaining why waffles are superior to pancakes, Bokuto just making soft “Oohs” and “Ahhs” in between while shuffling around the kitchen. You creep closer, and lean against the doorframe, taking in the scene in front of you. Haru is sitting at the table, a glass of juice in front of him while he bounces his favorite plushie, an owl and a gift from Akaashi, on his lap, still babbling about the superiority of waffles. Your husband is standing in front of the stove, his hair sticking up in different directions, only clad in soft pyjama pants, the muscles on his broad back rippling while he mixes the batter. You sigh softly, and gently cup the swell of your belly while smiling at your little family, soon to be four.

As soon as he hears you behind him, your son’s head snaps around and he squeals a happy “Mommy!” before jumping down from his chair and running to you for a hug. You laugh and bend down to ruffle his soft hair, silky like his father’s. “Good morning, my darling. Did you wake your daddy again?”, you ask, voice gentle but slightly reprimanding. Haru looks up, guilt written all over his face, his bottom lip protruding a bit. He truly just looks like an exact copy of his father, and you can’t help but smile even wider. “No, he was already awake.”, your son tries to lie, but the second you lift one eyebrow, he scrambles to add “After I bounced on his chest.” You grin. “That’s what I thought.” You crouch down low and give Haru a semi stern look. “You know that your daddy needs his sleep, right? He goes to bed much later than you, so he needs to sleep longer.” Haru nods, golden eyes filled with a silent apology, and you quickly clutch his small face between your hands to pepper kisses all over his cheeks, forehead and nose, making him giggle and squirm in your embrace. Once you’re done, you try to stand up again, groaning while doing so. Lately, your back has begun to hurt slightly, all thanks to your growing belly. Bokuto is quick to help you up, his large, warm hands cupping your elbows while he gives you a silent look of disapproval, worry dancing in his golden eyes. “You need to be more careful, babe.”, he murmurs, but you just give him a dismissive wave of your hand. “This is the second child I’m bearing, ace, so I think I know what I’m doing.”, you reply, and your husband can’t help but smile a bit bashfully at your nickname for him - he just loves when you call him your ace. “I guess that’s true. You’re truly my Wonder Woman.”, he says proudly before leaning down for his good morning kiss. You quickly melt your lips against his, and he sighs happily, wrapping both arms around you. “Eww.”, your son screams before making a gagging sound, and you pull back from your husband to press one hand over your mouth, trying to stifle your laughter.

“I feel like we shouldn’t allow Akaashi to babysit him anymore.”, you fake-whisper to your husband, “He’s becoming too much like him.” Bokuto just nods before giving his son a playful look of displeasure. “Noooo, I LOVE UNCLE SHI THE MOSTEST!”, Haru immediately whines, hitting his tiny fists against his father’s thick thigh, “Please, daddy! I want uncle Shi!” Bokuto just huffs out a laugh and lifts Haru up into his arms, tickling his sides. “Of course, you know we love Uncle Shi the mostest too. Don’t tell Uncle Kuroo though.”, he whispers and kisses Haru’s cheeks, loud mwah noise included. That seems to calm your son immediately, and he finally relaxes into his father’s embrace, his tiny head now resting on Bokuto’s broad shoulders. You lean against your husband as well, and nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck, sighing contently. “But I love Uncle Kuroo too. He says I’m going to be the best volleyball player one day, just like daddy is!”, Haru mumbles sleepily, and you smile softly, brushing his dark hair out of his sweet face. “Of course, you can be anything you want, my darling boy.”, you reply softly, and lift your head to smile at your husband. Bokuto returns it quietly before capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. “I love you both so much.”, he murmurs when you break apart again, and you nuzzle his nose. “Me too.”, you answer before looking back at your son who has fallen asleep again, “Let’s go back to bed. We can have waffles later.” Bokuto just nods, and clutches his tiny boy a bit tighter in his arms before intertwining his fingers with yours, pulling you back towards the bedroom for some family cuddles.

© oioinanami 2021 | masterlist

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu bokuto scenarios #haikyuu bokuto imagines #haikyuu bokuto scenario #haikyuu bokuto imagine #haikyuu bokuto koutarou #haikyuu bokuto koutarou ismgines #haikyuu bokuto koutarou scenarios #haikyuu bokuto x reader #haikyuu x reader #bokuto scenario #bokuto imagine #bokuto x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu bokuto #bokuto

[mysticalrambling]

Love Eventually Wins (A.B) Part 2

(Part 1)

Andy Barber Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

Summary: dad! Andy Barber x female reader. You juggle in the hospital between your dad and your son. You haven't forgiven Andy for what he said to you but you guys talk it out in the end and it's all eventual fluff.

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“Dad, you are going to be fine. We are all going to wait for you after the surgery.” Gently kissing your father on your head, you held back your tears because you didn’t want him to back down from his decision. You just prayed to God that this operation would be successful because you had already lost your mother to a car accident when you were four, so it was just you, Julie and your dad. You could not afford to lose another family member and you wanted Gabriel to know his grandfather when he grows up.

“Okay, sweetie. Will see you after.” He looked so pale and sickly just lying on that uncomfortable hospital bed. Silently kissing him on the forehead, the nurses took him away to the operation theatre.

When you got out of the room, your little sister immediately took you in a bone crushing hug and started sobbing uncontrollably. “It’s all going to be okay, Julie.” You tried to console her but there wasn’t much you could say to convince her when you yourself were worried.

After about half an hour, you finally got her to quiet down and then went to check up on your son in the pediatric ward. The receptionist pointed you towards a NICU ward that kept babies from the age of six months to two years and you didn’t know why he was admitted in to the hospital so you internally freaked out on the way there.

“Hi. The doctor said that Gabriel had some kind of stomach infection so they will have him on IV drips and antibiotics for two days.” Andy explained it to you as soon as you entered the room and went to your son’s crib. He was in the crib in a small hospital gown and God, you hated this sight. Touching his forehead, you realised that his temperature was higher than when it was at home.

“His fever is way too high right now.” Looking at your husband, you felt so helpless because your father and your son were sick and you didn’t know what to do.

“The doc said that it will return back to normal in no time.” Andy was observing you from the moment you entered the hospital room. Puffy eyes, rosy cheeks and a tear stained face was a completely new look for you. He wanted to be there for you but he knew that you had still not forgiven him. It was not easy to forget the things that he said, even if he didn’t mean it.

“Oh okay. I am just going to sit here with him.”

“I will bring you some coffee because you haven’t eaten since morning.”

“Non-”

“Non filtered, without sugar. I know.” He lightly kissed you on the forehead but was slightly hurt when you didn’t give him a smile like you always did. He could feel a wall separating the two of you and the only thing that he wants is to tear that wall down. Why could he not keep his mouth shut and let you talk? Everything would have been alright then.

“Hey, baby. I need you to be fine really fast, okay. Mommy needs you to get through all of this and I love you so much.” Gripping on to his little hand, you gently rest your head against the crib. The nurse came after sometime and you asked her is she could stay with Gabriel for sometime. Everything was too much for you and you just needed to vent it all out in private.

“Hi. Where is my wife?”

“She said she needed some fresh air.”

“Okay, I am just leaving the coffee here. You are going to stay with him, right?”

You were just looking at the stars and remembering the time when you spent countless college nights with Andy on the rooftop, just staring at the stars. It quickly became your thing and now you were sitting here all alone. A few tears escaped you when you remembered all the things that your husband said. It was still too much to comprehend.

“Please, don’t cry. I am truly sorry for all the things that I said.” Sitting next to you on the bench, he didn’t have the power to look you in the eyes. He was too embarrassed. It was his job to let no harm come to you but now he was the one who is causing the harm. He just wanted someone to beat the crap out of him and punish him for making you feel unworthy.

“I know you said that you didn’t mean a word of it but I know that’s not true. I know you better than you know yourself.” You looked at him from under your eyelashes and saw a look of realisation cross his face. Andy thought that he could just hide it from you because of all the things that you have been going through. He sometimes did forget that if he could easily read you then you could do the same.

“So the district attorney has been telling me that I am not doing my job properly because I am a family man now. I am too distracted on my job and the last case, the witness didn’t show up and Jacqueline just laid it out on me. She even gave my next big case to Carter and I just lost it on you. I am so sorry.”

Tears welled up in his eyes when he realised how innocent you were in this whole situation and he had no right to make you feel so bad about yourself. He didn’t dare move his face away from the stars and you knew the guilt was eating him up inside.

“Hey, look at me.” Gently placing your hands on his bearded face, you made him look at you. “I was being genuine when I said that you can take a break from us. I won’t mind.”

“No, I don’t. It was all said out in anger and you don’t know how sorry I am. Please don’t think like that because you are my whole world.” His heart was tearing up in pieces and you were the only one who could fix it.

“Okay but what about Jacqueline then?”

“I will take care of her. She can not just assume that I would be the same Andy after having my own family to look out for. You don’t worry about anything.”

“Okay.” Kissing him under the stars was your favorite pass time and you wouldn’t change it for the world. “Let’s go check up on our baby right now.”

“No, you go to your sister because your dad is going to be out of surgery in sometime and you should be with her. I will check on Gabriel and then come to you.”

“Let’s check on Gabe together because I won’t stop worrying until then. God, I just want this day to end already.” Hand in hand, you got up from the bench and went to meet your son.

Gabriel was slightly waking up by the time you entered his room and you immediately went to pick him up. Keeping in mind to not touch his iv drip, you cradled him to your chest. Your heart ached for your baby boy because he was always the one to cause trouble and never sit still in one place. “Mommy, hurts.” A whimper escaped him and he clutched on to your shirt with his tiny fists.

“It’s going to be okay.” He looked so small in your arms and you were barely holding yourself together because you didn’t want your son to cry after seeing you.

“Give him to me.” Andy carefully took him from you and tried rocking him back to sleep. By now, he was full on crying and trying to take his bandage off. Your husband took Gabriel’s hand in his hold but the kid did not quiet down for one second. You tried to give him his lion pacifier and he just turned his head the other way round. The doctor came in when he heard the commotion and quickly inserted some sedatives in to his IV drips.

He told you both that Gabriel would be alright in a few days and he will stay with him so that you both can go check up on your father. Gabriel was going to sleep for some hours so it was okay for you guys to stay with your dad until then.

“The doctor said that the surgery went well and we can see him after they transfer him to ICU.” Your sister filled you in as soon as she saw you both walking down the corridor. Ecstatic, you hugged Andy tightly and believed for the first time in all night that everything is going to be okay.

“I love you.” You whispered affectionately in to his ears.

“I love you too.” Kissing you softly, he tried to express his love with his actions.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

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A/N: Here's part 2. I loved watching Defending Jacob so I came up with this plot. Andy Barber has my whole heart and I hope you guys liked it. Tell me what you think and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Like, comment and reblog.

Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur, @fantasywriter104, @justile

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#rachelleblodgettwrites #my writing #writing community #creative writing #fanfiction #tv shows #defending jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #andy barber #chris evans #dad chris evans #chris evans x female reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fluff #andy barber angst #andy barber x wife reader #andy barber fanfiction #chris evans x wife!reader #chris evans x reader #andy barber x female reader #andy barber x reader #marvel #avengers #steve rogers #steve rodgers x reader #my imagination

[ellitx]

Chapter 13: Fidelity

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

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art belongs to _suucrose

word count: 2.9k

           In sun and clouds, the church spire reached into that every stretching blue. It was as if it spoke of the love of the community towards their god, that it too lasted in any weather and called on them to join and put their faith in him.

           When Aether and Paimon walked along the nave, the church choir was different compared to the other choirs that didn’t sing hymns. Their voice was almost like angels, high notes soaring over the clouds, graceful notes dancing on the staves, and they sang for the Anemo Archon only.

           The two waited to finish their practice before looking for a certain deaconess that might help them gather more information they needed. It wasn’t long before Barbara noticed them and approached the two with a welcoming smile.

           “Hello, Honorary Knight. What brings you here today?” 

           Paimon flew over her and leaned closer for a much better closeness to ask. 

           “We would like to ask you something about Barbatos!” She exclaimed fervently whilst she placed her small arms in front of her chest. A bright smile was then donned on the deaconess’s face, her blue eyes sparkling in delight at her words.

           “Oh! Are you two perhaps interested in serving Mondstadt’s very own Anemo archon as well?” Her tone had an obvious enthusiasm in it. Aether already felt bad that’s not what they were here for, and be that as it may, he still has to prioritize in searching for his lost sibling.

           “That’s not the case. We wanted to ask if by any chance the Anemo archon has a lover.”

           Barbara’s small pink lips parted trying to utter a single word however a short chuckle was what came from her mouth. It surprised them and was confused if they said something odd. Her delicate hands were now placed on her mouth to stifle her laughs, apologizing in between them, as small tears form from the corner of her eyes.

           “Sorry for suddenly laughing. I wasn’t expecting that’ll be your question. But to answer that, there are no stories or mentions if Barbatos had a lover or not in the past. If he did, it would’ve already been written in the books and be sung by the bards everywhere. You celebrated the Windblume Festival, right?" 

        The two gestured their heads as a yes. "Since you already know it's a festival about love and freedom, wouldn't the Windblume Festival be celebrated for both of them instead of Barbatos only? But just as I have said before, there were no tales about the God of Freedom having a lover.”

           Something clicked inside his head though it didn’t last for long as it suddenly fades away like a speckle of dust. 

           “That’s true…” He turned to look at Paimon who was all troubled and disturbed.

           He continued to listen further if there’ll be more clues but it seems like that’s the only information he’ll get for now. His companion looked at him then held her aching head to alleviate the small ringing echoing in her ears.

           “Paimon’s running out of brain juice and my head is hurting the more Paimon thinks about this…” The throbbing in her head told her it was time to rest someplace quiet, to ride out the pile of confusion within her brain.

           Aether nodded and massaged his forehead in hopes to ease the pain. Why does he suddenly feel so lightheaded? He shook his head and pushed himself forward to carry out his plan on giving the pendant back to you. Words of gratitude were what Barbara received from the blonde and she waved them a goodbye to continue her choir practice with the other members of the Favonius Church.

           “Are we going back to the lair?” Paimon asked. Aether hummed in affirmation as they stepped outside of the parish. The harsh sunlight caused him to squint his eyes and cover his face with his arm. Was it always this hot for this season? The sudden change of the climate made him so lightheaded than ever. 

           Paimon detected how pale he looks as if he’d been painted with white-wash— even his lips were barely there. It was as if his heart had suddenly stopped beating and all the blood had run down into his boots. He swayed just for a moment, then with one step backward, he crumpled like a puppet suddenly released of their strings.

—

  Birds trill, sweetly high, the chorus as playful as the birds themselves. With closed eyes, Venti imagined their music to color, painting stairs in the same way grapevines grow - this way and that, in a beautiful harmony that isn't quite random. 

           Along with your soft humming, it made the ambiance much more relaxing and calm for him. In the calm of the day, his heartbeat is the steady drum to your melody and he seeps into the moment, allowing himself to drown in your beautiful voice.

           You rubbed the petals of the red flower between your fingers, watching your skin take on the sunny hue. Venti had spent the entire afternoon lying down on your lap and listening to your canorous tunes that made him forget about everything— as if you two were the only ones in this world with no one to intervene in such a peaceful moment he has with you.

           You watched the petal rotate and awed in admiration as a flower’s petal is able to spin like wind wheels. 

           “Hey, Venti,” You called out to him and peered down to peek at his sleeping face. Your lover hummed in drowsiness before opening one of his eyes to look at you. Dragging the flower close to him, he shifted to get a proper look at what you’re holding.

           “What flower is this?”

           You’ve always been a curious one. Even before you were in a coma. It’s like you have a passion in you to know every single thing about this world. From small creatures to rare species of beings in the wildlife, anything that catches your interest and you're eager to know more about it.

           Your drive to find answers is one of your unique traits he’s grown to love the more he’s with you. You create yourself in that fire of ongoing need that focuses everything that you are. And you do it because it feels as if the finding of the answer is your personal mission, your reason for being, your way of belonging and giving.

           It came to him if your curiosity will cross the line. Will it come to you that he’s been hiding his identity from you? Or will you still continue to live life with him in pure denseness? Either way, if you managed to find out he’ll find a way to have you forget what you witness. 

           For now, he has to be cautious and prevent you from exploring the outside world. Especially if that traveler is around in his land. It’s no good if you meet him. With the help of the humming winds to let him know what’s happening, it occurred to him that he has to just patiently wait and prevent you and Aether from crossing paths.

           Venti held your soft hands in his palms and took the flower from you. A small and gentle smile appeared on his face as he leaned forward and pressed his temple against yours, placing the plant close to your chest.

           “It’s Windwheel Asters.” He answered and observed how your eyes sparkled in joy when you watched the petals continue to spin.

           “I haven’t seen these before.” 

           Venti lightly chuckled and placed the flower between your hands as he returned to resting himself against you, but this time his head was now on your shoulder. “Windwheel Asters cannot grow in places with no wind nor plagued by strong storms, only where the wind is gentle and nourishing.” 

           “Really?” You laid your head against his and fiddled with the stem. If these floras are really unable to grow in harsh winds, then it means Old Mondstadt’s storms have truly vanished without any traces left. 

           Peace and harmony at last. 

           Freedom is finally with you.

           You lifted your hand up against the sunlight and marvel at how simple it is. It may not look as fancy as the cecilias nor does it resemble feathered wings of a dandelion when blown away, but you found yourself liking this more than what Venti had given you.

           It’s not like you don’t appreciate his efforts for collecting every cecilias and dandelions in this region to create a wonderful garden for your eyes to fancy with, you still are grateful for it though you do wonder why did he not include these asters in the collection?

           “I kind of like this. It reminds me of you.”

           Now that made him fully awake.

           “Me?”

           The color-infused cheeks dimpled with the blossoming smile, your eyes shone in a way that only deep happiness can bring. It was the blush of roses, that peek of champagne pink. Nodding your head to him, you brought the flower close to your face to cover your flushing features.

           “You were always fighting for freedom. If it weren’t for you, we won’t be able to see the skies and birds you’ve always wished for. I really admire your perseverance and passion to fight against my father to have the city liberated from his hands. Thank you. Thank you for revolting against him. Thank you for giving everyone freedom they’ve longed for.”

           You suddenly felt your throat tightened and your breath hitching every now and then. With your shoulders shaking and chin trembling, you fear he might see you in such a vulnerable state. You lowered your head even more and let your hair cover your face. Even if you hide it from him, Venti can still see small drops of liquid falling from you until it turns into a small puddle on the back of your hand.

           “[Name]…?”

           “Even though I’m Decarabian’s daughter, you never looked or treated me differently. Even after the war has ended, you never leave me. And now father, mother, and the knight… they’re all gone and y-you survived. You still stayed with me until I woke up…  I… I was so scared that once I awoke, I won’t be able to see you.”

           You were wiping your cheeks every few seconds and gulping down the lump sitting on your throat. Sniffling quietly, the tears still threatened to spill from your eyes. Your lover gently clutched your hand and used his other hand to lift your chin up to look at him.

           Your eyes were red and swollen. It shatters his heart seeing you like this as your tears split over and flowed down your face like a river escaping a dam. Using his finger to dry your damp face, he brushed his lips on your temple and laced your fingers together.

           “I should be the one thanking you.” He muttered and brought your intertwined fingers up to his lips to kiss the back of your hand. “Without your support, I don’t know how things would end up. If he— if I hadn’t saved you back then, you’d be locked up in that tower. Things would go differently, wouldn’t they? I can’t bring myself the idea of leaving you there when they were chasing after you.”

           He pushed you until your back was leaning against the rough trunk of the tree. His other arm was propped beside your face before he rested his head on your shoulder and nuzzled closely.

           “Thank you. Thank you for always being here with me.” Even though his voice was muffled, you can hear him loud and clear through your teary state. A shaky smile came from you as you caressed his hair lovingly before leaning forward and wrapping your arms around him.

           “I love you. I love you so much, Venti.”

           He has lived long enough to know that what you share he can’t replicate it with another. This love, this feeling, is just you and him. He could travel the world and the seven regions to create new ballads; he’d still come right back at you if he wanted true love. 

           He has protected you for years, he’s your confidant, a true friend, and even a lover. The trust he gave you, you gave him, is what keeps both of you safe in this world, in this life. So whether his heart beats another day or another hundred years— it’s always yours.

           Meeting Venti was more of a coincidence than a fate. Yet it was the first time in your life you felt like you could be yourself around him. Memories of meeting him have become the same as the dream you play time and time again. You felt good with him in a way you haven’t been before or since.

           Hearing those three eternal words from you is surreal for him. His heart would beat madly and his stomach churn in such a way excitement and happiness is filling his entire system. He wants to hear from you again.

           Just once more so he can finally have you all to himself.

           His chest was burning hot and so was his heart that rapidly beats in great euphoria. He can sense your emotions when you cry but this feeling… it’s much more different than he had felt before. A burning desire. He’s so smitten of your entire existence. All words coming from you were all his, he grasps each phrase and corresponds with his own loving and affectionate words.

           He was brought out from his trance when he felt how warm his palm is, and it’s when he became aware his hand was now placed on your cheek just like how he brings your hand to cup his face. 

           Venti felt his face heat up at such a simple gesture and when you give a short and quick chaste kiss on his lips, he recognized the first brightest and sweet smile for this day was painted on your graceful visage.

           “I love you.”

           His wish was heard when you repeated your confession at him. Is it finally working? Were his efforts finally paid off? Before Ludi Harpastum was the Windblume, a festival where they offer windblumes to their loved ones and to the Anemo Archon. Every year, every time Mondstadt celebrates Windblume, his first priority is to give you cecilias.

           He collected them for you every year. He tends them very well until they bloom— until your eyes opened. For him, windblumes are the cecilias. A symbol of elegance, purity, and just as ethereal as your gentle heart. It may be different from what that really means as interpreted by the people of Mond, but for Venti, he feels freedom when he’s with you, he feels loved when he’s with you and it’s the reason why he gathered so many flowers for you while you were asleep.

           The arrangement given to him by the former Dendro Archon— she proposed the idea to him to gather flowers for you every time they feast Windblume. He can still clearly remember her words, her voice echoing in his head saying that even she may part from this world. 

           Her predictions for her own life were accurate. As if she already expected this to happen to her and that’s why she’s planning ahead to list all the preconditions to him to keep you safe and harmless. Barbatos can’t keep relying on her on everything and that is why he put a lot of effort into maintaining the garden.

           Yesterday night was the time of the ceremony. Venti prepped everything to make it perfect, he wanted it to be successful. A mimic of a dance he once saw when he and you were together ages ago, it was a secret you both hid but he knows this. Barbatos knows what happened during that time and pretended as if he weren't there.

           But now that he was able to dance it with you, one would call him shameless for stealing you from him. The heavy weight on his shoulder was now lifted away, finally free from the guilt he’s been feeling for centuries. His inner battle with himself is fully resolved, inner conflicts vanished, a conflict between his love and longing for you.

           Your words eased Venti and made him assured you love him back as well. If you haven’t said a single word about your own feelings, he’d be living in an illusory fantasy that you were only shy to tell him you love him very much. But ever since the bond has been created, all he hears is I love you’s from you for his ears to delight in.

           “I love you,”

           You repeated once, a faint brush of your lips against his made him shudder. Soft, gentle, and shy just like your personality. Twice when you parted away, grasping how he tastes like apples before meekly leaning on him once more for a kiss but with more vigor. Your hand clutched the front of his shirt when you felt him hold you the small of your waist to pull you against him.

           “I love you.”

           Thrice was words of tenderness and desire from you to him. At that moment, you felt your body flushed warm. This was a person you wanted to be with than you’d ever felt before. 

           Venti has always been the one you could love forever.

@trust-the-oxygen​

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact venti x reader #venti x reader #genshin impact venti #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere venti x reader #yandere venti #yandere #Illusory Sense #elliwrites

[dreaminpetals]

could i request hcs for naib and Jjseph reacting to their gn s/o coming back from a match severely wounded? like broken bones or having been left to bleed out (i saw someone hc that bleeding out feels like actually dying and someone else hc that the surv is left in a comatose state while they recover from exsanguination and i RAN with it)

🔪 naib and joseph react to mortally wounded s/o . . . 🎞

tw: emetophobia and blood

NAIB SUBEDAR ;;

art credit

♡ jack had left you to bleed out after being rescued. he chased martha all the way across moonlit while you writhed in pain inches away from the rocket chair. it was so excruciating that you considered chairing yourself so you could seek medical help immediately, but your legs were broken. you couldn't move an inch.

♡ once you finally went comatose, you faded back to the manor and martha hopped into the dungeon, panicking when she saw the blood pooling below you.

♡ his foggy blades had ripped through everything you had and you weren't looking good. you were rushed to the emergency wing where emily tended to you. the doctor was thankful you were comatose, because if you were conscious the disinfectants she used were so strong you would have let out screams of agony that she could never forget.

♡ naib burst through the doors the moment he heard of your condition. he kicked a hole in the wall when he saw how many machines you were hooked up to.

♡ had he been there, he never would have let this happen. martha is young, inexperienced. she wouldn't have been willing to sacrifice herself for you either. naib would have broken all of his bones himself if it could save you from simply bruising one.

♡ the usually stoic naib was wracked with grief, hiccuping back sobs and clinging to your bandaged frame. emily's heart broke as she heard him mutter "don't go, please baby don't leave me," whenever your breathing would spike.

♡ naib is furious with himself and with everyone who let this happen to you. his fists shake his rage and he nearly bites the head off anyone who tries to speak to him.

♡ none of the other survivors can console him. when he does leave your room, his actions are frantic and his interactions with others are limited. naib has complete hope that you'll wake up and he doesn't want to miss it. also, as much as he doesn't want to admit, he wants to be the first thing you see when you rise.

♡ the doctor and mercenary grew quite close over their shared anguish for you. naib would take your vitals as you slept and help flush out your IVs when necessary. he has some experience with tending to wounded soldiers so he knows all about the proper procedures for you.

♡ however, he's never seen something like exsanguination before. he can't bear to see you be drained. naib has seen plenty of disturbing and life altering sights but he needs to step out of the room when his lover is undergoing such a process. it would traumatize him more than your status already has.

♡ he cries himself to sleep every night. the thought of losing you claws the breaths out of his throat. he pulls up a bed beside yours and stays stationed there all night, only leaving when necessary.

♡ your steady breaths in the dead of the night help to ease his nerves but he can't stay asleep for too long in case that breathing stops and he isn't able to save you again.

♡ on the day you're scheduled to wake up, naib prepares a feast and a bouquet for you. you receive several bouquets from your friends, but naib consulted emma for the best, most romantic flowers to choose.

♡ your eyes flutter open to the sight of naib jogging towards you, eyes as wide as saucers as his fingers run through his hair in disbelief. so overjoyed he can't form a single word. he peppers you with kisses and his hot tears drip onto your cheeks.

♡ the bags under his eyes are a sign that naib hasn't been boding well with your affliction. pull him into your chest, mindful of any tubes you may still be connected to, and let him rest there. speak every once in a while or card your fingers through his chestnut hair stained with sweat so he knows that you're still with him.

♡ when he wakes up to you smiling down at him, he knows things will be okay. of course he'll be extra protective of you, but this has taught him that you won't go down without a fight. it's a tad reassuring for the mercenary.

♡ once you're able to walk and fight again, naib never lets you play against jack again for good measure, and he never leaves your side during matches. it doesn't matter how many rescuers the team has, naib is staying. and he's not letting you out of his reach, never again.

JOSEPH DESAULNIERS ;;

art credit

♡ joseph knows what courting a survivor entails. you're going to be hurt by the people he lives with and there's nothing he can do about it. he warns everyone to be gentle with his s/o, but the photographer's words fall to deaf ears during grisly rank matches.

♡ this match was one of those. one where zero survivors made it past the exit gate and the feaster was left to triumph over his four victims.

♡ you had been left to bleed out after reaching your self heal limit. hastur's mighty tentacle whipped you stronger than usual, breaking your ribs and leaving you wheezing for air. the red waves of pain that pulsed through your body with every breath left you a bawling puddle on the ground, curling into a fetal position as you silently pleaded to a god that wasn't listening for the last kiter to be chaired already.

♡ mike was finally stuffed into a chair and flown back to the manor while you oozed into the ground and landed on the cold tiled floor of the manor with a thud. he gasped when he saw your condition and alerted emily right away.

♡ laying in the hospital bed, joseph teleported into the room with knitted brows and a green tint to his complexion. the sheen of bile on his chin told you he had thrown up before arriving.

♡ your approaching lover, screaming as he saw your eyes close, was the last thing you witnessed before passing out for days.

♡ as far as joseph knew, you were dead.

♡ for the second time in his life, he lost the most important person to him. he shrieked and whimpered out sobs that chilled emily to the bone. she had to explain right away that you were alive, only comatose, and you were expected to make it through.

♡ the photographer didn't believe her. he saw the bones sticking out of your torso and the blood staining your shirt, he wasn't blind. his lover was dead.

♡ emily had to politely usher him out of the room as she and aesop went to work on your body, draining the blood to restore you to your former glory. this has happened to survivors before and you were no exception.

♡ as they operated on you, joseph struggled to walk back to your room. he clung to the walls and tables lining the hallways of the manor but nothing could propel his legs to move. they felt like bricks, chaining him down to the cold tiles you collapsed on upon your doomed arrival.

♡ there isn't a shred of hope inside of joseph's body. he isn't an optimistic person, especially not when he saw his darling draw their final, ragged breath. you had the death rattle. the same rattle claude had in his final moments.

♡ he saw aesop approach your hospital room. joseph took this as a sign of your departure, when it really was emily asking for a second hand to improve your chances of survival. all the critical thinking skills leave joseph's body when you're in any sort of danger.

♡ for days he laid in your bed back in your bedroom and slept with your clothes until your scent drifted away, replaced with his musty one from not bathing. he didn't want to wash you off of him. there was a small fleck of your blood on his sleeve that he would cherish forever as a memento of you.

♡ just as he became obsessed with capturing people after claude's death, joseph was itching to claim some lives due to yours. firstly he was going to snap a picture of the barbaric feaster who dared to steal his love away from him, then the survivors in the match with you who could have saved you.

♡ his final photograph was going to be your gorgeous corpse so you could truly be preserved forever.

♡ dragging his camera equipment down the halls, he was promptly stopped by emily calling his name. she told him to come to the hospital wing to visit you.

♡ he was appalled that the doctor would dare to ask him to look at his dead lover while he was busy avenging them. joseph was moments away from trapping her in his camera world for all of eternity, pinning the woman down and reaching for his film, when she exclaimed that you were awake.

♡ he gripped his lens so hard it shattered and cut his hands.

♡ with a snap of his fingers, joseph teleported back to your bedside where you were eating a plain cheese sandwich, a bit groggy with a bedhead but awake.

♡ he thought he was hallucinating.

♡ but he wasn't.

♡ you perked up where you sat and he dashed into your arms, deep cries rumbling from his chest as his tears stained your gown. his nose was dripping with snot and he had an almost vacant stare on his face as he scanned your features. feeling down your body, his hands ghosted against some bloodstained bandages wrapped tightly against your torso. he could feel your heartbeat thrum beneath his fingertips. you were okay.

♡ you were okay.

♡ you were okay.

♡ joseph proposed to you and promised to murder any hunter who hurts you again. they all listen to him.

♡ though joseph's possessiveness and obsessiveness over you grew tenfold, you were never going to be hurt again and the thought lulled him to sleep every night as you snored in his arms. he was going to protect this innocent bundle sleeping with him until he drew his last breath.

#THAT HC ABT BLEEDING OUT... OUCH #naib subedar x reader #joseph desaulniers x reader #joseph desaulniers #naib subedar #idv x reader #identity v imagines

[keilemlucent]

i am your salvation

(r18+)

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

word count: ~13k

For years, Keigo had trained his body, fucking perfected it’s abilities. Every part of him was honed and forcibly designed to be the winged-hero, Hawks. But, now? He was the defunct number two, ‘Hawks’ and at home— reality? He was the comically broken Keigo Takami who struggled to do basic physical therapy.

Only you know him like that.

warnings: manga spoilers, suicidal ideation, abuse, ANGST with a capital A, just sad :^(((

this piece is hellish, enjoy ;^))) beta’ed by the lovely @keiqos, bless u

----------------------

Keigo was fucked.

He was so beyond fucked.

He was dead.

Basically.

He was half-alive in a hospital bed. An IV drip in each arm, pumping him full of god knows what. He didn’t care to ask. All he knew was that he fucked up.

He’d gotten sloppy.

Stupid.

Pompous. 

And now his wings were fried off his back.

(By fucking Dabi no less.)

 The first conversation he’d had with his doctor upon waking at the HPSC hospital was one where he legitimately contemplated suicide for the first time in a long while.

  “Hawks... There’s no good way to say this. There just isn’t,” The doctor began, looking through Keigo’s chart, sighing deeply. There was something so grave about the way he moved through the sterile hospital room.

The doctor handed him a handheld mirror. 

Hawks slowly raised it up with weakened arms, knowing what he’d see. 

A gruesome burn tore down the left side of his face. It puckered the skin around his eye, narrowing his field of vision (thank god he still had any vision at all). The soft flesh around his eye was so angry and blistered, pockets of puss gathering beneath the surface of his skin.

But what was worse than the scar, so much fucking worse, was the absence.

The complete absence of his wings.

No stubs, no nubs. Just nothing. 

His back ached against the hospital bed as he handed the mirror back to the doctor.

The doctor sighed again. He spoke to Hawks like he didn’t think the hero already knew what he was going to say, “Your wings are gone. Fully. The scans we’ve taken show that the... well, roots of them in your flesh are still present, they’re encased in scar tissue. Even the sections that the feathers grow from are cauterized. In our professional opinion, we don’t think that they’ll ever grow again.”

His heart fell in his chest. 

It fell so deep.

So far.

He didn’t let himself cry.

Instead, he contemplated how hard it would be to overdose on morphine they were undoubtedly dosing him with. 

The doctor continued as Keigo stared sightlessly at his lap, “As established, the muscles that control the roots of your wings are still intact, yes. But, they’re heavily damaged in a way that will affect your everyday life. Even without your wings, the recovery to stabilize your injuries is going to be strenuous.”

Who fucking cared.

Hawks had spent the vast majority of his life training to be a hero and now the very thing that made him the best was literally burned from him. It felt unholy. It felt awful.

Fire wasn’t cleansing, it was putrid. Desecrated was his body as well as his mind.

  He didn’t listen to much else of what the doctor said. He let himself go blank, wishing tears would fall. 

 ...

 That was yesterday.

Today, he was allowed visitors. His PA came, informing him that the Commission was putting him on extended, indefinite (thankfully, somewhat paid) leave in exchange for media appearances. They also informed him that half of the top ten were dead after the war with the PLF. Ryuku, Miruko, Edgeshot, Kamuiwoods, Crust, all lost. And countless others, too. Even some students. It seemed that there was no clear winner of the fight that took so many and changed so much.

One of the most hard-hitting pieces of news was that Endeavor was in a coma, on life support, with a brain injury that would most likely kill him. At best, he’d be a vegetable. 

Keigo felt nothing but hollow as he laid in his hospital bed. He was half machine, based on all of the tubes and monitors that he was hooked up to. He felt truly mechanical and falsely alive. Truly, he was used up. He wanted to die. He was sure of it. 

Keigo wanted to ask his PA to smother him.

He didn’t.

 The next person to visit him was you. His PA had informed him that they were legally obligated to see him first, otherwise, you would’ve been clawing his door down.

You.

Keigo didn’t want you to see him like this. All the reasons you had fallen for him were gone. There was no confidence, no lip, no charm, no drive, no stunning scarlet wings— nothing. He even had the bonus deterrent of a nasty scar covering half his face. He was so sure that you’d take one look at him and turn right out the door. 

Leave him for good. 

Maybe spit on him for good measure.

The old muscles of his wings twitched as you walked through the door. It burned like an old hell. 

You’d clearly been crying, face and eyes puffy. 

But you were strong for him.

You pulled a chair up next to his bed wordlessly. You sat, laying your head on his antiseptic smelling sheets and mattress. Your eyes went half-lidded, just barely looking up at Keigo’s terrified expression. You reached out, grabbing one of Keigo’s clammy hands. You squeezed it.

“I’m here, Kei’,” Your voice was so quiet. “It’s alright. I love you. I’ve got you.”

It made him break.

The machines that he was reliant on screamed as he desperately grabbed at you, dragging you up with the little strength he had. You pushed him down, moving to half kneel on his bed. You didn’t make Keigo work for your touch. 

You cradled his head to your chest as his scarred hands fisted your sweater. He screamed into your sternum. Keigo wailed and cried with everything he had. He was losing himself, raging for far more than just his current injury.

 He bawled for every single time he couldn’t in his hero training, forced to be broken by the demands of the Commission. He sobbed for every casualty and death that was on his hands, righteous or otherwise. And, selfishly, he cried for himself. He let tears fall in mourning for the version of himself that died by Dabi’s hand. 

He let himself shatter in your arms for the burning muscles and scars of his back, the ache of his face, and the emptiness and vulnerability that his lack of wings graced him with.

You more than let him; you encouraged it.

You stroked his hair, matted with sweat and grease. You whispered soft adorations, validations and love into his ears. He can hear your tears too, but it didn’t stop you.

“I love you, Keigo.”

“I’m here.”

“You’re safe.” 

“I’m not leaving.”

“I’ve got you, Kei’.”

“No one else will hurt you. I won’t let them.”

 You were far too late on the last one. But, you were quirkless. Powerless to stop the destruction that ravaged his body and now, his mind. 

Additionally, Keigo was relieved you didn’t say that ‘everything will be okay’. 

He knew it wouldn’t be.

You let him crumble against you for hours. 

Finally, he was spent, falling back in his bed, and letting you slump back into your chair. You took the liberty of finding a warm towel to wipe his face down with.

The rest of visiting hours, you laid your head on his mattress, holding his hand as he drifted in and out of sleep. Nurses came and poked and prodded him. They didn’t bother making conversation with either of you. 

They understood, to some degree. 

You were both together in mourning. 

A nurse came by later, night had fallen, telling you visiting hours were over. 

Keigo audibly whined.

You shook your head, running a thumb over Keigo’s knuckles.

“It’s alright,” You soothed both him and the nurse. “I’m not leaving.”

The nurse didn’t fight you, merely exited the room.

Keigo watched, awed. You retrieved a decently sized duffle bag and pillow that you’d brought (he hadn’t noticed). You set up a blanket and the pillow on a couch in the corner as a makeshift bed.

“Y-you’re staying?” Keigo asked, voice raw. 

You, somehow, smiled. So gentle and precious, nodding, “As long as you’d like me to. I told you, I’m here.”

Keigo relied on you for comfort in the past, sure. But not like this. Not like you were his anchor, tethering him to his existence now that his pride and preen were plucked from him. You were his salvation in that hospital room. You were the ground that he desperately and necessarily needed to learn to walk on.

 You both fell asleep quickly, dreaming of better things outside of your waking nightmare.

 ---------------------------

 Keigo was discharged two weeks later.

It is thoroughly confirmed that, unless by some medical miracle, his wings were truly toast. Gone for good.

The Commission brought in at least a dozen folks with spectacular healing quirks. Truly, the best the country had. Turns out, the Commission was clawing for hope too, in the wake of everything.

The efforts were in vain, of course.

Nothing stuck. 

The scar tissue wouldn’t shrink. The damage was too severe. The cauterization was so intense, it altered him. Forever.

 You stayed with him the whole time.

You went home, just a bit, maybe an hour a day. You showered then, changed clothes. 

You’d come back and do what you had been the whole time.

Just being there.

 You didn’t make him idly chat or make him watch shitty, hospital cable. You let him ruminate, stew, and simmer. You let him be crushed.

You were smart enough, empathetic enough to know that nothing you could do or say would lift him right now. 

He just needed you there.

And so, you were. 

 After being discharged with several prescriptions, orders to limit activity to allow for his other injuries (and concussion) to heal, the two of you went home. 

 Your first task was Keigo getting properly washed. 

At first, Keigo resisted.

“N-no, I’m fine, I’ll take one tomorrow,” Truthfully, he wouldn’t probably, not without your help. He just didn’t want you to see him so intimately in this state.

You shook your head, speaking as you brought several plush towels into the bathroom. You turned to Keigo who had wrapped his arms around his frail-looking form, looking at the floor.

You brought him into your arms, rubbing at his neck, not wanting to aggravate the injuries on his back, “I know you don’t want to, but it’ll feel good. Let me take care of you, please.”

You spoke so earnestly, it made Keigo fall apart. He hated being so helpless. 

He nodded against you.

You sat him on the toilet seat while you ran a bath in Keigo’s spectacular tub. You poured in epsom salts and some lavender bubble bath, filling the room with a familiar, herbal scent.

You helped him strip, mindful to not linger on any part of his body. Carefully, you lowered Keigo into the water. He could help but be surprised by the strength in your body to do so. Perhaps foolishly, he had never taken you as physically strong. After stripping yourself, you got in as well, across from him, so you wouldn’t see his scars. You were perhaps a bit too considerate.

The water burned his wounds, yet calmed his muscles. It was a different sensation than the ones he’d had for the past weeks. He welcomed it.

Keigo sagged in the bathwater, looking somewhat relaxed for the first time in so long. You knelt in the water and suds, lathering up his hair and body. So carefully did you wash away the sweat, smells, and lingerings of the hospital and the war that preceded it. You went through his hair with your own conditioner, figuring that the familiar smell might help keep him calm. Keigo didn’t say anything, just let you do as you needed. You carefully untangled any and all knots from his tresses, rinsing him down.

You dried him off, putting a few scented body oils on his dry patches of skin, parched from his time in the hospital. You still didn’t look at his back.

He felt ashamed and thoroughly disgusted. He smushed his face into your shoulder, gripping onto your like if he wasn’t, he’d die.

You find him fucking repulsive, right?

 “Kei’,” Your voice quiet still, “You okay?— Wait, don’t answer that.”

You chuckle at yourself. Keigo would’ve laughed too if he could. 

Keigo dressed himself, a semi-self sufficient act that made him feel better. Though, you picked out the clothes. Some of your own, soft, old garments that Keigo had seen you in a hundred times. 

It was only before he put on a shirt that you gave his back the quickest once-over, “You can put your shirt on now, Kei’. I just wanted to make sure it looked okay. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

Even that much sight and contact of the old roots of his wings made him feel so ashamed. It burned the corpse of his ego like the hot fire that crisped his wings. 

Despite those nasty feelings, the simple act of wearing your shirt made him feel better. It felt so good, so good, to be surrounded by you instead of the sterility of the hospital. 

 You had been kind enough to leave the hospital for a bit longer than normal the day prior to go shopping. You bought Keigo a large, fluffy, ivory blanket. You even washed it, so it smelled like home (and you) too.  

After you helped him to the wide couch, custom made to accommodate Keigo’s now torched wings. It was a small burn (ha) to his psyche, but he tried to let it go as you got him comfortable.

You gave him your special pillow. The one Keigo loved to steal and take naps with. You covered him in the new blanket.

“Is that okay?” You asked, tucking him in. Keigo would normally be embarrassed by something childish like that, but he couldn’t make himself care. It felt so good to be comforted. 

 So softly, he replied, “You made it feel like home already.”

You let a sad smile drift to your face, massaging Keigo’s scalp as he sobbed into his new blanket. 

He was so glad to be surrounded by you, no matter how rotten he felt. 

 -------------------

 The first week home was the hardest. Sleeping was painful, even next to you. Eating was a fucking labor as he had no appetite. Nothing interested him in the slightest other than staring at walls and pretending he would wake up from this nightmare soon.

An at-home physical therapist was brought in. He had to retrain the muscles in his back to relax, now that they weren’t carrying the weight of his wings. The constant tension in his back would cause long term damage (not like he wasn’t already riddled with chronic injury), least of all tension headaches. 

Your job let you work from home. Thank god.

...

Keigo hated his exercises. They hurt so bad.

For years, Keigo had trained his body, fucking perfected its abilities. Every part of him was honed and forcibly designed to be the winged-hero, Hawks. But, now? He was the defunct number two, ‘Hawks’ and at home— reality? He was the comically broken Keigo Takami who struggled to do basic physical therapy. 

Only you knew him like that.

 Keigo’s fists slammed against the floor as he strained with his PT exercises, the therapist themselves long gone for the day. You worked from your laptop on the couch. You weren’t supposed to aid him with his exercises unless necessary, as the therapist had instructed.

“Do you want me to help you?” You asked, almost coaxingly. 

Keigo beat his fists once more, crying out almost like a petulant child, (he hated himself for it oh my god—), “I don’t want to fucking do this! I can’t do this!”

And Keigo sobbed into the floor with abandon.

You moved from the couch to haul him into your arms, pressing his face into your neck. You said nothing, you just let him scream and die against you.

“I can’t do this!” 

“I hate this!”

“Make this fucking stop!”

“Just make this all fucking stop!”

“JUST FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY!”

This got you to speak, not shushing him, but just trying to soothe—

“IF YOU REALLY FUCKING LOVE ME, THEN YOU’LL SLIT MY THROAT IN MY SLEEP AND LET THIS FUCKING NIGHTMARE BE OVER!—”

 You froze. 

He didn’t.

Keigo kept begging you to kill him. 

Incessantly so.

He didn’t know what to do.

This was a tantrum, maybe. More like a breakdown. It felt dramatic. But, his thoughts were real. He’d be happy to die, especially by your hand. Then you wouldn’t have to take care of him and he wouldn’t be able to feel as awful as he did. 

You kept holding him, squeezing him harder and harder still. 

Finally, Keigo tuckered himself out and sagged against you. 

 You reached up to the side table, grabbing your own glass of water, and offering it to him. You still hadn’t spoken.

Part of him thought to apologize, crack a joke even. But he couldn’t make himself do either. Instead, his shaking hands grabbed the glass. You didn’t fully let it go, just guided it to his lips where it dribbles down his chin. 

Keigo sputtered a sob.

He couldn’t stand being so weak.

 “Love,” You spoke so softly as he sipped. “I will never hurt you like that. I won’t let anyone else, either.”

Keigo suddenly started fucking laughing, for the first time in so fucking long, ripping the cup fully from your hands and throwing it across the room. It shattered in a wild display of raining glass and water. He hadn’t laughed in what felt like months. He let it loose, grabbing your face and directing it right at you, breath curling over your cheeks.

He knew it was cruel, to take it out on you. He hated himself for it even as he was doing it.

“How the fuck do you think you’ll protect me?” Keigo cackled into your face, horror beginning to overtake your features. He didn’t care. It felt good— “You’re just some stupid, weak, quirkless civilian— how the fuck do you think someone as powerless as you can protect me when I can’t even protect me—!”

 He kept laughing, but he was crying. He couldn’t tell which was which. Keigo could only tell he was hysterical.

 This whole time, since he had woken up in the hospital, you had been nothing but the perfect partner. You had been so kind, asking for nothing in return.

And yet, he’d verbally strike you like this for no other reason than his own hurt.

How fucking cruel.

 You let Keigo go, unable to disguise the pain in your expression. You didn’t say anything back to him. As you left the room, you were covering your eyes with your arm. Keigo caught one of your sobs as you fled to the bathroom, almost slamming the door. 

 Keigo heard your muffled cries for hours until you fell asleep on the bathroom tile as his old burns and guilt ate him alive. 

 He tried his exercises again. 

 -------------------

 That night, Keigo was too deep in sleep to hear you enter your shared bedroom. Part of you didn’t want to sleep next to him. You thought about returning to the bathroom or moving to the couch. But, you couldn’t make yourself. 

Keigo’s words hurt so bad. 

Partially because they were cruel. They gnawed at your insecurities, the fears you were desperately suppressing for him. 

Partially because you hated the fact you couldn’t do more, despite already doing so much. 

Partially because you knew that Keigo would never say things like that to you if he wasn’t being eaten up on the inside. 

Partially because the love of your life asked you to snuff his life out. 

It all hurt. Stung. Ached. Burned. 

 There was a small detail that hurt in a different way.

He called you quirkless.

You weren’t quirkless.

Your quirk was so weak and so taxing, sure. It was basically unusable. For fucks sake, you never even bothered to tell Keigo directly as you never used it. He had access to citizen quirk records, and you figured he checked in the several years the two of you had been dating. Apparently not.

But, you did have a quirk.

You stood next to your bed, Keigo covered in the comforter and soft white blanket you’d gotten for him. You could see the peakings of his back. His skin was marred with burns, cuts and scars that looked unimaginably horrible. You’d been avoiding looking at it, for him. You’d seen how it made him cringe.

But now with Keigo sleeping so deeply? You took it all in.

You looked at the nearly black scarring where the roots of his wings were. The fanning out of puckered, red skin from the burns. His back, which once rippled with the muscles that controlled his crazily powerful wings, was now a charred plain. 

...

You had an awful, far-fetched, fucked up idea. 

You sat, sinking into the bed as you contemplated your idea.

You brought your hands to your face, concentrating on your fingertips. 

Small, tiny vines and green shoots left your fingers.

There’s absolutely no way that this will work.

But, you’d hate yourself if you didn’t try.

 Life reclaimed life, you supposed. 

You drummed up a half-assed plan. It was a weak, frail idea— it would need a lot of support. Even then, you didn’t want to give yourself false hope. You couldn’t give Keigo false hope. It would ruin him.

...

You’d have to fix your diet. Eat lots of nutrient-rich food. Take more vitamins too.

You slotted yourself next to Keigo who, in sensing your warmth, turned into you, pressing into your front. His head nuzzled into your chest, an arm wrapping around your waist. 

You heard him wince at the motion, flinching in his sleep.

You had to try. 

One of your hands went to his back, brushing down the comforter to reveal the particularly gnarly scars where Keigo had lost part of himself. You laid your hand flat on the fire-flayed skin, praying you don’t wake him. You concentrated, watching small greenery go from your fingers to his flesh, desperately trying to repair the damage that had been done. 

 ------------------------------------

 Keigo apologized to you the next morning. He clutched your chest and told you how sorry he was. He told you how he knows he’s acting out, he’s just so fucking sad—

You told him that he didn’t need to justify himself. Not to you. Though, you accepted his apology and asked him to not say those kinds of things to you again.

“I’m trying my best, and I know it's not enough sometimes... but it's all I’ve got,” You speak to him in your own small voice. One that portrayed a weakness that you hadn’t shown since Keigo had been injured.

He felt even guiltier. 

 But, the second week was better.

His exercises were getting easier. Eating came a little better too. You started cooking more, not getting as much takeout. Part of him missed the comfort of familiar street foods, but another part of him craved the home-cooked meals you made so much more. They helped him feel better too, packed with veggies and lean proteins. 

Keigo didn’t notice, he was far too out of it, but you were already looking more haggard. 

It came with using your quirk in general, let alone to the extent you were pushing it. It was a pitiful quirk and you’d never strained it half as far as you were then. 

It had a price. 

To heal others, even something as small as a paper cut would take from your own body.

And, you were dedicating at least thirty minutes a night to attempting to ‘heal’ (read: reconstruct) the tissue of Keigo’s back. You had to start so deep in his muscles; it hurt to push your quirk that far down. Within the first five minutes, that first night you tried, you were silently crying from exertion.

But, you didn’t relent.

Each day, it was a little easier.

Sure, you had bad nights where it was extra hard. You blamed it on not eating well enough, using up too much of yourself during the day. 

It was a shitty excuse, notably. Your quirk was weak and self-destructive, it was beyond your bodily capabilities. There was no way to tell if it was even working to heal Keigo’s body. It was a gamble. 

And your wager was your health and body.

Even eating optimally and taking a bevy of new vitamins each morning before Keigo awoke, you could tell your physical health was suffering. You were losing a bit of fat already. Dark circles were punched under your eyes from the exhaustion. You had developed the slightest shake when you moved.

And the worst part was, you knew that you’d only get weaker from here on out.

So, you upped your calorie intake. You kept careful track of the foods you ate, the same with Keigo’s. He didn’t seem to mind the delicious meals you now coveted crafting, no matter how tired you were. If he was eating better, it would probably help you too, right?

You could only hope, resting it all on a long shot. 

 --------------------------

 Week three was good, but hard. 

The HPSC commission forced Keigo to do a media appearance. He told them, bluntly, that he couldn’t fake it right now. Probably, forever. 

They told him to suck it up, get out there, and put some hope into their society that was being pulled apart at the seams.

Keigo refused to let you come. He didn’t want to think about how you’ll look at him when he’s all dressed in his hero uniform, wings absent from his back, forcing him to bear the two empty slots of his jacket. 

When he mentioned it, you offered to sew them up.

Keigo felt horrible, but he just gave a nod, handing you his jacket without looking at you. 

You stitched the slits shut for him. Keigo requested red thread for the stitching and you obliged him.

 (You made note that Keigo truly had no hope. You couldn’t tell him a thing about your quirk usage until you were positive that it would have results.) 

 The media appearance went okay. Not great, but okay. ‘Hawks’ was dead, and Keigo was not a performer like he was. Though he still went by his hero name, his real name only known by himself, the Commission, Dabi (may he rot in hell), and you. He coveted that you had the intimacy in knowing his identity, but it felt dirtier now that Dabi (Touya?) had that name in his throat as well.

 When Keigo came home from the media appearance, he was keyed up. He flitted around the apartment while you made dinner. There was an anxiousness in his movements.‘Hawks’ would’ve taken to the skies to fly off some of this fractious energy. Keigo just had to wait for food to be ready and pray that the feelings went away. 

Just before dinner, he decided to try exercises outside of the one his physical therapist assigned him. He was feeling energetic enough, right? Might as well pull out some of the easier moves from his hero training. 

Keigo moved to his now seldom-used at home gym. He picked up a dust-covered five-pound weight and proceeded to try and curl it. The moment Keigo brought it above his head, his back tensed and burned something fierce.

The weight fell from Keigo’s hand, half-thrown, luckily missing any and all of his toes and feet. 

He cried in frustration, stuck staring at himself in the wall of mirrors. 

Keigo truly thought he looked pitiful.

He was still wearing his hero uniform sans the jacket. He’d lost a lot of muscle mass with his more sedentary state. His hair was too long. He had gotten more pale, losing his few freckles. His eyes were bloodshot and his teeth curl over his lips in a snarl—

“Keigo?” You opened the door to the gym, eyes wide with shock, but your tone didn’t change. He just glowered at you from the mirrors. You spoke again, staring him down with an almost scarily neutral poker face. “Dinner’s ready. Would you like to eat? Otherwise, I can save it for you.”

Keigo didn’t reply. He went back to trying to pick up the weight, screaming each time and hating how his back burned so intensely.

You left without saying anything. 

 ---------------------------

 Week four was hard because you and Keigo’s relationship is beginning to suffer. Or, it had been, but it was reaching a fever pitch. 

Keigo’s lack of human contact, lack of physical activity, and general cabin fever were getting to him. He was lashing out more and you, kind as you were, were having trouble dealing with it.

Your own run downstate was eating you alive, literally. No matter how much you put into your body, you needed more to heal Keigo. You were up to two hours a night of working at Keigo’s tissue with your quirk. By the end of your ‘sessions’, you would simply pass out and fall into listless slumber. You were losing a lot of sleep each night, but you were determined to keep going. 

Your exhaustion, in general, was making you a bit more prickly towards Keigo’s increasing frequent outbursts.

It all came to a head on a Sunday night.

The two of you were curled up on the couch, half-cuddling and half-watching TV.

A notice for breaking news showed red on the screen.

Both of you tensed. Before Keigo’s injury, he’d be rushing to throw on his hero gear and fly to help. Now, he just sat next to you, stiff as a board with pin-pricked pupils.

A picture, pre-PLF injury Endeavor flashed on screen.

“The Hero Public Safety Commission has just made the press release the former number one hero, Endeavor, is no longer in comatose.”

You watched a real, happy smile, spread on Keigo’s face. For a moment, there was a sliver of hope—

“But, he still remains in critical condition. Due to injuries affecting his central nervous system, he is reported as being in a state of paralysis. As of now, his life still hangs in the balance, though he is lucid.”

Keigo stiffened again.

There was rage painting his face. 

And pain. 

You stiffened with him.

You did not have it in you that night to deal with one of Keigo’s explosive moments. 

“Endeavor has left us all with this message—”

The camera flashed to an old video of the old ‘number one hero’, healthy and strong with a fist raised in the air.

You braced for impact as Keigo stood, shoulders hunching over.

Endeavors voice washed over your living room,

“Go Plus Ultra!”

And Keigo, honest to god, shrieked.

He fell to his knees and beat the floor beneath him. He slammed his fists in the hardwood over, and over, and over again. You slipped to the ground with him, trying to grab at his fists.

“Keigo, you’re gonna hurt yourself—” You tried to tell him. You managed to capture one of his fists, urging it to stay down-

But, you looked up to see Keigo giving a feral look with a frenzied, white-hot sneer all for you. 

 And his free fist flew towards you. It connected hard and solidly to your jaw.

You hadn’t been expecting it. Keigo had never struck you before, not even close. For fucks sake, he had never even raised his voice at you before his injury.

So, how could you expect to brace yourself for it?

The force of Keigo’s blow knocked you back. You jolted, falling onto your side and turning your head to the side, away from Keigo.

You brought a hand up to cup and shield your face, your jaw and eye socket throbbing. 

All you could feel was shock.

And sadness.

And horror.

And anger.

And terror.

 Keigo snapped out of it.

The news report was still playing, but he couldn’t hear it.

There was only the rushing of blood in his ears.

His mouth turned bone dry.

He had watched you move with his strike, falling more to the ground, hiding yourself—

“Oh my g-god, (Y/N),” Keigo’s voice was slippery and warbling. “I-I d-didn’t—” 

“No,” You stood up, still holding and hiding your face from him. His heart was crumbling in his chest.

You looked at him with only fear and heartbreak.

Keigo scrambled up, trying to apologize, hold you, mend this before it got worse—

But you put the hand that wasn’t cupping your face out, just barely touching his chest. You refused to let him any closer. 

“H-hey Kei’?” Your voice sounded so, so shaky. It’s hardly there. You were holding back tears and it was so obvious. It made every part of Keigo burn with shame. “I can’t today. Maybe another day, I could deal with this, y-ya know? But not today, okay? Have a g-good night.”

You walked away before he could say anything else.

 You dashed off to the guest room, shutting and locking the door before falling against it and breaking. You cried and rocked yourself as you tried to self-soothe your shattered body and mind. 

The month prior had been so hard. The person you love was hurt so deeply, and though you were trying with everything you had to help, it didn’t seem like enough. You were getting verbally beat up semi-frequently and now Keigo had fucking hit you. 

You were scared. You were terrified that this would become the norm. That Keigo’s outbursts would continue to worsen, as they had been, and you would become a physical punching bag for him.

It especially hurt because you were trying so hard to help Keigo. 

You weren’t delusional enough to think you could really fix him, were you? 

The fact that you were secretly and silently trying to regenerate Keigo’s body with a quirk he didn’t even know you had struck you bluntly in your mind.

“I’m just so fucked up, aren’t I?” You laughed and sobbed to yourself at the same time, slamming your head backward on the door, relishes the pain that floods your skull. It was a reprieve from the bruises blooming across your cheekbone. 

You eventually managed to cry yourself to sleep, literally. You curled up in a ball on the floor next to the door, worn down to the bone.

 In the early morning, far before dawn, you pulled yourself into half-wakefulness. 

You were relentless and you were coming to hate yourself for it.

You needed to work on Keigo, no matter how you shitty felt.

You crept into the master bedroom, trying to be silent. You didn’t want to wake him. Only when you were fully in the room did you notice a soft lamp is still on despite it being early, early morning. 

Wide awake and upright, Keigo looked horrified to see you. He looked at you, shaking and half-sobbing into a pillow he clutched to his chest.

You both seemed shocked to see each other. 

You sniffled as you turned off the lamp, stripping down to just a t-shirt and panties before climbing into your side of the bed.

You refused to face him while he was awake. You got as comfortable as you could (which wasn’t much). 

There was half an hour of disgustingly awkward silence. It coated the room, bearing the two of you who refused to sleep. 

“I’m s-sorry,” Keigo had yet to move. He was frozen in place as you were turned away from him in the dark. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N).”

Silence.

Your mouth felt dry and your mind parched. 

“Keigo,” You spoke like a being empty. You truly felt like it too. “If you ever touch me like that again, I will do worse than just leave you.”

It was a threat.

You let yourself have it, in all of this. You deserved one low blow. 

Keigo slowly slid down into the covers, babbling apologies and beginning to cry again. 

“Stop, Kei’,” You finally turned towards him, cupping his face. He blinked at you, eyes wide and glassy. “I love you. Just stop. Apologizing doesn’t make something like this better. I can’t do this if you keep hurting me, you know that. Just be better.”

Keigo winced at that. He knew it was true, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t painful.

You fell asleep on each other that night. You let your headrest nestled up against Keigo’s chest. He breathed softly above you, arms wrapped securely around you, holding you tightly like he was afraid you’d leave. You wouldn’t. You made the decision to stay at the beginning of all this. Your threats would always be empty. 

Idly, you had an arm thrown over Keigo’s waist, snaking up the back of his shirt to press your fingertips against his scars. Your roots and greenery didn’t have to go as deep now, as far as you could tell.

But, it had been a month with no discernable progress, visual or otherwise. 

But, you held onto hope. 

Because you had to hold onto hope that Keigo would get better. 

All of him.

 -------------------------------

      The second month was... different. 

Keigo tried with his whole heart to earn back your trust.

You flinched at him for the first week or so. 

He hated himself so fucking much each time you did. But, he never blamed you. He couldn’t.

(Even as you twitched away from him in the daylight, you tirelessly worked on his scars in his sleep. You couldn’t give up, no matter how awful you felt). 

Keigo did his exercises several times a day. He made a few more media appearances but refused to be seen with Endeavor. He (and truthfully, the Commission) knew that he could not psychologically handle it.

You were rapidly getting weaker, but you didn’t care. You ate more, slept when you could, and pushed on. You were up to three hours of healing a night. Tears rolled down your cheeks the whole time.

You were clinging to the prayer that you could unburn Keigo’s back like it would save you from your personally made hell. 

This was despite the fact he was already crawling out of the pit himself. 

 Your existence was eased slightly as Keigo was starting to help out more. 

Keigo wasn’t anywhere near normal— normal Keigo was dead in a disintegrated building, miles from your shared home. But, he was getting better.

 His muscles felt better. He wasn’t sure how, but they did. His PT exercises must’ve been working. The outbursts he had thrown so often during the first month pittered out to maybe once or twice a week. They were calmer now. You were still his anchor, of course, that was undeniable. But, it was mostly crying and clutching and not screaming and breaking.

It was a welcome shift.

Most of the time, Keigo would pull you into his lap and wrap you in his embrace. Softly, he’d sway and rock the two of you, like he was trying to lull and calm not just himself, but you in tandem.

A lot of the time, this was true. 

Your flinching subsided and Keigo had no more close calls with any physical violence towards you. In a few high strung moments, he still snapped at you. He’d apologize, and do better. At least, you told yourself that. That’s how you saw it anyways. 

Keigo was thoroughly traumatized. His mind was an open nerve and that had consequences. You were so endlessly tired. What kind of wounds and trauma were you incurring?

You forced yourself not to think about it. 

 Part of you, during this month, wanted to simply pack a bag and leave without a trace. 

But, you stayed with Keigo. You stayed determined. 

(Or, you stayed out of spite. On your bad days, you really had trouble figuring it out.)

Your body looked like shit. You were endlessly glad Keigo still wasn’t in a position to be having any sort of sex because he probably would’ve noticed how fucked up your body was getting.

You shook constantly, always quaking like a leaf in a rainstorm. Your skin bruised with almost any contact beyond light touch. Your eyes, once vibrant and expressive, had sunk in. 

Your body, no matter the several thousand extra calories you forced yourself to eat a day, still ran through your fat reserves. It was leeching muscle from you. It made your joints feel raw. 

 It almost hurts that you noticed how Keigo is so pained, but he didn’t notice you falling apart.

 -----------------------

      The third month was when shit hit the fan.

It was near the end of the month. 

You were doing so badly. You stretched yourself far beyond your body's abilities. 

You felt particularly sick, but you needed to get groceries. Keigo couldn’t himself for a host of reasons, which made it your job. You kissed him on the cheek as you left for the market.

Meanwhile, Keigo’s physical therapist dropped by for a check-in appointment. 

Keigo did his exercises beautifully. He had to admit, his muscles didn’t ache in nearly the same way they used to. They only really hurt when the weather changed, like he was some old, arthritic man. 

“Wow!” His therapist gasped, watching him complete his exercises. “It’s looking great, Hawks. It looks like you’ve gained back a lot of strength.”

The small amount of praise made him beam as he sat up. 

“I just want to check the actual wounds around your back, if that’s alright? Just feel the scar tissue,” The therapist asked. Keigo bit his lip, slowly pulling off his tee-shirt. He didn’t like the idea of anyone’s hands being that close to the intimate roots of his dead wings. 

But, it was necessary.

Keigo faced his back to her.

All he got was an audible gasp as the therapist’s hands traced at his spine.

“The progress back here- Hawks this is insane,” The other was alight, pressing a thumb somewhere near the root. It hardly even hurt. “The scar tissue— it’s not gone, but it's a lot more tender than it should be. Like it's actually healing.”

“Is that why it doesn’t hurt so bad?” Keigo asked, letting a few slivers of joy light him up from the inside out. During his initial prognosis, multiple doctors had said that he was going to be on fire for years, not months. 

The therapist nodded, “Looks like it. Even the scarring on the surface looks pretty good. Must have some damn good genes to be healing like this.”

The two laughed, Keigo feeling more lighthearted than he had in months. 

 You, on the other hand, were greatly struggling. 

You were so, so fucking cold; yet another bi-product of your overextension. You were wrapped in an oversized cardigan on top of one of Keigo’s mock necks. You couldn’t stop trembling as you try to shop as quickly and effectively as possible. Anything to get you home as soon as possible. 

You had a great deal of difficulty doing this, though.

If you moved too fast, your vision blacked out. It had been like that for a while, a week or two. You’d lost track. You figured it was your iron, maybe blood pressure. 

It was an easy thing to hide at home, but much harder in public.

You reached for something high on a metal shelf, tossing it into your cart. You needed another item, on the bottom shelf. You dropped to your knees, your body aching and rolling.

Almost done.

So close. 

Then you can go home and rest.

You stood up too fast. Your vision went black ringed for a second. You stumble, trying to catch yourself as you lost sight. 

You felt weightless for a moment, spinning, Though your limbs felt weighed down, impossible to move. As your vision returned, its field wouldn’t move, pointed up at the ceiling of the crowded market. 

There were people speaking, shouting around you.

Alarmed.

Speaking to you?

You didn’t care.

You were so, so tired.

You let your eyes slip shut.

 ------------ 

 Keigo had been waiting for you for several hours longer than it took to go grocery shopping, sure. And, to have you gone from the apartment so long made him itch too. It had been eating him, making him pace around. You hadn’t been answering your phone either. He figured you had made a detour and let your phone die.

 When he received a call from the local civilian hospital about you, he feels his blood freeze in his veins. 

“You’re listed here as (Y/N)’s emergency contact as a partner, yes?” The nurse asked. “They collapsed at a local market. They’re stable, but we’d recommend coming to the hospital as soon as you’re able to.” 

Keigo nodded, head swimming.

You’re hurt.

You’re safe, but you’re hurt.

...

Keigo was whisked to the back of the hospital in a poor disguise. He gets recognized, given some extra security. The scar that marred his face was enough of a marker even if he didn’t have wings. He hardly cared. He couldn’t. 

Your door opened to a very dark room, soft beeps and hums filling it. 

He imagined that he must've been feeling close to how you felt, seeing him in such a similar position those few months ago.

The nurse enters ahead of him, clicking around on a tablet to pull up your chart.

Keigo could hardly pay attention. He felt like he was going to die, seeing you like that.

You had an IV, pushing fluids into your thinned arms. Your face was hollow looking, sockets sunken, especially with your eyes closed like they were. You had several blankets on you, piled over you. Yet, you were still visibly shivering.

The nurse whispered, “They’ve been asleep for a while now. A doctor will be in soon. Just sit tight.”

She left the room while Keigo pulled a chair up to your bed. 

The smell of the hospital burned his nose. It reminded him far too much of his own time. All that pain. 

The ache in his back flared, but he figured it was somatic.

 Keigo reached out as he sat, holding one of your frail-looking hands in both of his own (had you looked this purely death stricken this morning? Keigo couldn’t recall either way, and he hates himself for it).

Your eyes slowly opened.

 Keigo met your gaze, breath caught in both of your throats.

Neither of you got a chance to speak, not a moment of fucking comfort, before a doctor barged in, flipping through your chart with a bored look on his face.

“We finished up your testing. Lucky for you, no concussion or fractures from your fall,” The doctor nods. He doesn’t even seem to notice Keigo, or rather, Hawks. “The rest of your results aren’t looking so great though.”

Your hand stiffened violently in Keigo’s grip. Your face went from worn and exhausted to filled with terror and... guilt?

 You were fucked.

The doctors and nurses had mentioned to you that they were fairly certain that all of your symptoms came from quirk overuse. You started weakly crying at that, your nurses looking confused. You didn’t elaborate then. You knew, the moment you woke up in the hospital that you were going to have to confront your own damage to your body.

You were going to be forced to explain it.

To Keigo.

The doctor continued. 

“Low levels of nearly all essential vitamins and minerals. Particularly low iron, magnesium, and potassium. In general, your test results and physical state would lead me to think you’re suffering from malnutrition. But, your panel shows that your metabolic rate is actually going abnormally quickly in a way that could only be linked to-”

Wait for it.

“Quirk overuse-”

Keigo barked out a laugh, letting go of your hand, “I’m sorry, but what? They’re quirkless, it has to be something else.”

 You didn’t say anything. Your eyes, glassy and unfocused, are trained on your lap. You’re taking sharp, quick breaths.

You’re going to have to tell him everything.

 The doctor flips through your chart again, shaking his head and bringing it over for Keigo to look at, “I apologize if this seems out of turn, but they’re listed in the public files as having a quirk... It’s marked as a weak healing quirk, but all the same, any strength of quirk has overuse.”

Keigo is stone still.

There’s tension so thick in the air of the room that the doctor excuses himself. 

 Keigo, for months now, had been in a traumatized stupor. His normally sharpened senses, aided by his wings, were the key to so much of his cunning. Both his physical and mental states were affected, which had made him less observant.

It had caused him to disregard so much. 

 But now, in your stupid, acrid hospital room, he was quickly putting it together. 

His back burned again. 

 You felt frozen. You couldn’t force yourself to move. You couldn’t do anything other than look at your lap and roll in your head. Your body hurt so bad, your head hurt too, and so did your fucking heart.

 “Can I clarify? Because I think I have an idea of what’s going on.”  Keigo had physically moved away from you. He leaned back in his chair, staring down with a mix of expressions you couldn’t suss out. It made you feel even sicker.

You nodded.

“Breath, (Y/N),” Keigo reminded you. He watched you take a massive inhale, followed by tears beginning to gather. You still wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

 “Have you been... using your quirk on me? Without me knowing?” Keigo asked, trying to keep his voice firm, but truthfully, it wanted to waver and bend so badly. “Please be honest.”

You nod, breaking down to rub at your eyes. 

Keigo doesn’t stop the instinctual way he moved towards you, leaning over your bed and wrapping his arms around me.

With his cheek pressed to the top of your head, he broke the illusion:

“Please tell me what’s going on. Please.”

And so, you did.

It came out tearfully, you spilling and cracking as you did. You felt stupid and guilty and awful, but at least you were out of this fucked up lie. 

It all poured out of you. Your fear and your desperation were all laid out and Keigo was reading the cards.  

You explained that your quirk has always been weak in addition to taxing on the body. Hence, you had seldom, if ever, used it as an adult. You were effectively quirkless and you were okay with that. Keigo had never asked so you never told him. 

You tell him, voice shaking, what happened the night Keigo had pleaded with you to kill him.

“I-I, Kei’,” You push out, pressing your face into his shoulder. “I didn’t know what to do. You were so hurt and so sad and I had this stupid fucking idea that maybe, maybe I could use to my quirk to heal you.”

Keigo’s breath catches. He doesn’t say anything for a moment before asking, “Why didn’t you tell me? Ask me?”

“I didn’t know if it would work. I still don’t know if it does. It didn’t wanna... I didn’t want to get your hopes up. E-especially since it would’ve been coming from me.” You pressed harder into him like you’re scared of him disappearing. “You were already so crushed.”

Keigo didn’t know what to say. There was a swirl of emotions bubbling and writhing in his body and mind and he didn’t know what to say for the first time in a long time.

 So he didn’t say anything.

Keigo sat back in his chair, putting his elbows to his knees, using folded hands to rest his head on, parsing through his own feelings.

“K-Keigo?” You asked, wiping a tear away. As much as Keigo hated seeing you like this, he also recognized your state was by your hand. 

Right?

“Sweetheart, I love you—” Keigo stopped himself, sighing deep in his chest. “But, I can’t... I just need some time.”

 You nodded, tears coming back to drip down your face.

Keigo just watched with a neutral expression.

 -----------------

 Despite not being able to handle talking to you, Keigo was more than willing to help you out of the hospital. You were discharged with a prescribed diet and vitamins as well as a followup appointment in a few weeks. 

“And, most importantly,” The doctor made eye contact with you. “Don’t use that quirk of yours until further notice. Honestly, with it being so destructive, I can’t understand why you would in the first place.”

You burned with shame.

The night you came back from the hospital, Keigo took incredible care of you. He didn’t talk much during it, not to you anyways. He was nearly constantly speaking under his breath, all unintelligible. From his tone and myriad of expressions, you guessed he was verbally processing. 

Keigo gingerly gave you a bath, scrubbing away the smells and stickiness of the hospital. He managed to cook you one of the nutritious recipes you had shown him a few weeks ago. You sheepishly had to ask for another portion, explaining how your metabolism burned so quickly.

“Have...” Keigo finally spoke while making you another plate. “Have you always been eating this much?”

You nodded, sipping your water, “For a long time, yes.”

He hated himself for not noticing such obvious things. 

 Keigo kept carrying you from place to place, no matter how much his back hurt. He didn’t care. He couldn’t.

He laid you in bed at some point, sliding in next to you. He still hadn’t spoken much since you’d left the hospital. 

You had tried to babble apologies and beg for forgiveness, but selfishly, Keigo wasn’t listening. He was trapped in his own head. Even when you clung to him in the bath, he could hardly make himself hold you up from sliding too far into the water. 

It almost hurt to touch you.

 It was late when Keigo finally verbally, directly regarded you. 

“Why?” Keigo asked. You’re both turned away from each other. The bed had been vibrating with your harsh breathing and crying for an hour or so now. “Why did you do all this?”

You stop shaking, but only for a moment.

Your voice is so soft, weak, “Please don’t blame yourself. It was my choice.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Keigo could hear the anger in his voice. “Why. Did. You. Do. This?”

You’re silent for a moment. 

And then you’re sitting up, yelling.

“Because I didn’t know what else to fucking do!” You gripped your hair at the roots, pulling. “You asked me to fucking kill you, Keigo! You begged me to!”

Keigo sat up, staring you down. He felt so much anger and rage in him, it was bubbling up, “That doesn’t mean you had to hurt yourself like this for me!”

“I didn’t want to hurt myself! I wanted to help you! Using my quirk was all I could do!” You looked over at him, digging your nails into your exposed thighs. “What else was I supposed to do!”

“Exactly what I thought you were doing, helping me!” Keigo screamed back at you. “You were doing so good at it!”

“You wanna know why I could even help?!” You shouted. You grabbed Keigo’s shoulders and brought him inches away from your face. “Because, every night, I got to give myself just a shred of hope that you would get better. That maybe, maybe your wings would come back and you’d smile like you used to instead of yelling at me, and hitting me, and asking me, begging me, to slit your fucking throat!”

 You couldn’t stop crying. Your body was so run down, so depleted, but it still musters up the energy to drip tears like a flooded creek. You wanted to run and leave the bed, retreat to the bathroom where you can break down on the tile in peace, alone where Keigo wouldn’t have to watch. You’d done it enough prior to know he wouldn’t check on you.

 Keigo stared at you with wide eyes. 

He didn’t know what to say at first

He was feeling so much—

 Keigo didn’t know what to do or say.

So, he just twisted the knife, one could say.

 “You should’ve just left if you were really that miserable with me.” Keigo regretted it the moment it left his lips. You tense up, looking at him with a gaze he could only call broken.

 “No,” You grabbed your shoulders, rocking yourself. “No, Kei’, I couldn’t, I won’t—”

“Then stop complaining.” Keigo shrugged. God, this was awful, wasn’t it? Why wouldn’t he just shut up? “You’re the one who stayed and tortured yourself. That’s on you.”

“So you’d rather have that I... left?”

“Duh,” Keigo laughed, staring down your crying form. You’re so decrepit in your current state. He hated looking at you, purely because he knows he was at least a portion of what led to this. But, he’d never admit it. “Fuck, (Y/N), you didn’t have to kill me, and you didn’t have to kill yourself either.” 

 He’s splitting inside as he watches you break in front of him. Some fucked up, sadistic part of him relishes it. The other, muted, more sane part is screaming at him to stop fucking talking-

“You really got yourself hospitalized for overusing a quirk on me that I didn’t even know you had. You were so desperately trying to get me my wings back, all while acting soooo supportive of me trying to live without them?!” Keigo bellowed at you. You cowered, bent legs beginning to slide off the bed — “Do you realize how fucked up that is? That, behind closed doors, while I was fucking asleep, you were trying to fix me? Well, guess what, (Y/N), I’m broken beyond fucking repair, and no cute little shit you pull is going to fix me!”

Keigo shrieked his last words.

You fell off the bed, slamming onto the floor. A sickening crack filled the room as your head, basically unsupported, met the hardwood.

 “Stop it!” You were screaming yourself silly from the floor. Your head hurt so badly. Maybe you were bleeding. You didn’t care. “Stop it!”

You knew you couldn’t handle this.

You were raw. You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t confront any more than you had already that day. Your body hurt so badly and your mind hurt too. Everything Keigo said just rubbed salt in the wounds he helped to create.

“Keigo, just fucking stop it!”

Your vision spun. You thought that maybe you were hyperventilating. You couldn’t feel your hands, numbness beginning to pull at your extremities. 

“I’m fucking sorry!” You wailed. “What would do if you were in my position, Keigo?! Just watch me suffer and not do anything even if you could?!”

Keigo leaned over the bed, giving you the most empty look you’d ever seen him wear. 

“I would’ve just fucking left, (Y/N),” He spoke in a monotone, eyes like dead coals. “I would’ve just left.”

You stared up at him.

This horrible feeling had filled you from toes to top and you couldn’t escape it.

 Keigo didn’t say anything else as you panicked on the floor. He simply got up, left for the guest room, and slammed the door.

 Neither of you ever felt as awful as you did that night.

 --------------------

 Keigo didn’t sleep that night.

Neither did you.

 He figured (he hoped) you’d be gone by the morning. Maybe you would just pack your dusty suitcase and get the fuck out.

...

Truthfully, not a single fragment of Keigo wanted you to leave. No piece of him wanted you to go out of his life. God, if he really thought about it, the prospect of not being side-by-side in this world together threw him into bends of anxiety and pure grief. 

Truthfully, as Keigo silently, tearfully, examined your actions, he felt his anger ebb away.

He understood. 

Why you did what you did.

But it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. 

Guilt was eating him, too. For all the horrible things he had said. The things he’d done that hurt you without regard for months now. The fact he never noticed you deteriorating. And all the nights you crept back into your shared room, for comfort and to keep trying to help him, though perhaps cruelly. 

 It was dawn when Keigo exited the guestroom. He figured that you were either gone or would be soon.

He was clearly mistaken.

Keigo stopped when he saw you at the kitchen table, head down, and resting on your folded arms. You were wearing a huge sweater, one of his, and a blanket around your shoulders.

Keigo had, incredibly selfishly, somewhat forgotten your physical state.

He ached.

 “I made coffee,” You said quietly. You looked up, meeting Keigo’s gaze with bloodshot, puffy eyes. “It’s still warm.”

“Why are you here?” Keigo asked, heart starting to beat too fast again. “Why haven’t you left-?”

“Do you really want me to leave?” You asked with an unfamiliar edge to your voice. It’s not anger or malice, but something different. You stand, bracing yourself on the table, wobbling. Keigo wanted nothing more than to scoop you into his arms and apologize. But, he doesn’t. 

 You looked at him with this edge of fierce determination, asking the penultimate question, the core of this all, “Keigo, do you want me to leave because of my actions, or do you want me to leave because you don’t think you deserve help?”

There was a poignant quiet over the apartment. 

The birds of the new day interrupted it from outside, chirping with the eos of dawn.

“I don’t think... I—” Keigo was speechless again, stuttering. “You shouldn’t have hurt yourself so bad.”

“That’s been established, I went too far. I should’ve told you, offered and asked, and go from there. It ultimately was a complete breach of boundaries and for that, I’m sorry. Fuck my good intentions, it was selfish.” You squeezed the edge of the table, eyes low. Your gaze turned up sharply to meet his, that edge of determination and fierceness in it that Keigo was unfamiliar with. “My question is, do you want me to leave?”

Keigo stared at his feet. His head was swimming, “You should leave.”

“I asked if you want me to,” You asked again. You were being more firm than you had ever been. You sounded unbreakable. It was that stubbornness that kept you there with him, right?

Keigo met your eyes with a sharp glare, “You should’ve left the night I asked you to kill me.”

You sighed, shaking visibly, but still keeping yourself so strong, “Please just answer me. Do you want me to leave? If we’re going to break up, let’s just call it that, and get it over with, okay Kei’?”

Oh, hearing you say ‘breakup’—

That broke Keigo. 

Having to truly think and reckon with a reality where you weren’t with him and you weren’t facing the horrors of the world together was purely the stuff of nightmares. 

The stupid little facade Keigo had so carefully crafted broke. The burns on his body started to ache anew, somatically. The scar over his eye twitched as tears were gathering anew. 

“N-no,” Keigo hugged himself, shaking his head. “N-no— I don’t want you to go—” 

You didn’t say anything, just watched him with a sad expression.

“Then I won’t.” You sat back down. “Keigo, I know that this is all fucked beyond belief. I know. But, I won’t leave. I really, really don’t want to. I won’t, not unless you want me to go.”

And Keigo was breaking for you again. 

He somehow stumbled next to your chair, managing to fall to his knees and rest his head on your cold, cold thigh. He pressed his nose into your flesh, trying to fucking absorb your smell like you could disappear any moment. 

“Why did you do it-” Keigo sobbed into your skin, nails biting in the flesh of your calves. It made you jerk in your seat. “WHY DID YOU HURT YOURSELF FOR ME!”

You didn’t have a good answer for him, so you didn’t reply. 

Keigo’s grip on the flesh of his leg started to break skin as he wailed into your leg.

You just looked down at him with this expression of pure remorse,  melancholy coloring your eyes.

You grabbed his clawed-hands, recalling the last time you tried a move like this with a twitch. You held his hands in your own, pulling him up, “You can’t do that, Keigo. You’re hurting me.”

“All I DO is hurt YOU!” Keigo crushed you into a tight hug, knocking the wind from you. You jolt forward into his death grip. 

 “It was my choice,” You remind him, so much weakness in your choice. “A very, very selfish one. If I was going to try to heal you, I should’ve asked.”

You started crying with him. 

You both were just torturing yourselves, truthfully. 

 At his core, Keigo was a fucked up man who was so thoroughly repressed and manipulated, it was hard to see his psychological shortcomings. They were all so meticulously hidden. 

But not then, not after losing his wings.

“I’m so fucked up,” Keigo kept crying into you as you had his hands locked together. “I hate myself for being this upset at you when you were trying to help me.”

“Love,” Your voice was so soft, releasing Keigo’s hands to pet his hair. “It wasn’t right for me to try and do what I did. You can’t help how you feel.”

“I could before I lost them!” Keigo muffled himself with your flesh.

Them being his wings, obviously. 

You hauled him upwards, forcing him to sit in your lap. Keigo had always had a bit of size on you, but in your shrunken state, it was even more pronounced. 

“Then you weren’t feeling,” You pressed your face to Keigo’s chest, wrapping your arms around his waist. He entangled himself with you, and you both just held each other for a long, long time.

 ------------------------

In the following six months, a many very important things happen.

Keigo got a place for you for two entire months, just so you two have some separation. After actually having a calm talk about your relationship dynamic since Keigo’s injury, it was comically apparent there were so many fucked up things that had happened and that you both needed a bit of time to collect yourselves.

It was a hard separation, but you still see each other at least half of the days of your time apart, and even a few that you snuck over for the night to stay over. Keigo was so, so thankful. Being wrapped in each other was a different experience, something actually healing. 

You both got therapists, next. A couples therapist too. 

Thank God. 

Keigo had oodles of trauma to sort through, and you had your own shit to deal with as well. Not to mention the whole ‘Keigo being a dick to you because he was hurt doesn’t justify it’ kinda broke your brain for a second. Also, Keigo having to process ‘he was capital A abusive to you after he got hurt, and your only stability being the hope in healing you is much more complicated than just them trying to ‘fix’ you’ was a case of note. 

It was weird, really. 

 When you moved back, fully, to Keigo’s (you weren’t sure if you could call it ‘your’ apartment anymore), it was nerve-wracking. It was under the understanding that you could move out if you needed to, that separation and an ending were just a corner away.

It made you feel more unstable than you had in months, but you kept up with it. 

Keigo noticed, much more observant than he had been. About two weeks into you returning to the apartment, he asked the question, “What if we moved?”

You had been quietly eating your breakfast, but this startled you, “Move? Why?”

“I mean,” Keigo sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. His gaze flickered to the living room, recalling the times he broke down and was so awful to you. It shifted to the bedroom door where you broke boundaries over and over. “A lot of bad stuff happened here. If we’re going to have a fresh start, might as well live somewhere new, right?”

You mused on it for a moment, then nodded, “Yeah, that would be good.”

The next few weeks were the most healthy and productive that you and Keigo ever had, pre- or post-injury. Apartment hunting turned into purchasing a two-floored, highrise, insanely nice condo across the city. Keigo suggested buying a house, but you refused. You both liked the views too much to live somewhere so close to the ground.

You packed your things, mutually. You both threw away plenty, bits and bobs that had been relatively unused for a long time. Lots of old memories were thrown out to make way for new ones. Though it was sad and there was plenty of grief in it, you actually had each other this time. 

When you found Keigo sobbing, clutching an old picture of him and Touya, one of the only of him from his childhood with the Commission, you held him and rocked him. You cried with him, not just settling for ‘dealing’ with him anymore. 

When you cleaned out the kitchen, you found the two dozen extra vitamins and extracts you had been taking while healing Keigo. You stared at him, idly, for ten minutes, somewhere far off in your head. Keigo came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you. Softly, he pulled you back from your mind. He helped you throw away each bottle, talking reverently to you so your gaze and mind would stay in that moment, and not those past and unsavory.  

You helped each other, or, were learning to.

 You and Keigo both had to agree that shopping for furniture was probably the most fun the two of you had in a while. With a facemask and a beanie on, Keigo appeared a lot less like his former self, allowing for the two of you to covertly search for new homewares without prying crowds.

The old apartment had originally been Keigo’s from his early years of being a hero. You simply moved in with him, adding yourself to his space. This time, you were making it together. 

 “What do you think of this one?” You turned to Keigo, next to you. Both of you laid on top of a fairly nice mattress, the store relatively empty aside from the employees and the two of you.

“I think it's good, it’s not too soft,” Keigo turned and smiled at you, speaking from behind his mask. 

You couldn’t help sitting up, tugging the cloth mask just a bit lower to drop a sweet kiss on the side of his mouth, “Get out the credit card then, babe.”

 The condo was sorted within a few weeks, full of furniture and slowly being decorated. 

You also had the opportunity to christen the mattress, if you will.

...

How long had it been since you and Keigo had laid together like this? 

Your bodies were sticky with sweat and cum, several rounds having passed throughout the night. Your new mattress was going to need a fresh change of sheets after this.

“Hey, angel, come over here,” Keigo tugged you closer to him, laying your head on his chest. You smiled softly, pressing closer. You missed it, truly, the warmth of his body and the feeling of his skin on your own like this.

“Alright, check-in,” Keigo pressed a kiss to your damp forehead. “You feeling okay?”

“I feel great,” You hummed, throwing a leg over his waist. “I can honestly keep going.”

“Should you?” Keigo raised an eyebrow and chuckled, nudging a knee between your legs. You flinched, knowing how sore you’d be in the morning already. 

Though your body had recovered somewhat, you weren’t fully back to where you were before Keigo’s injury. You didn’t mind, though. Keigo had taken to doting on you a bit more than he used to. 

You shrugged and Keigo just chuckled, bringing you ever-closer. 

“Are you okay?” You straddled Keigo’s hips, cocking your head to one side. 

Keigo was silent for a moment, stormy almost. He bit his lip, tracing hands and eyes over your figure, finally landing on your face. His softened hands cupped your jaw. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” His thumb rubbed over your lips. There’s something so melancholic about him. “I just missed you.”

You knew exactly what he meant by ‘miss’.

 It was a feeling beyond sex, but rather intimacy. Sure, Keigo had been balls deep in you for the first time in months and that was ecstasy you wouldn’t trade the world for. But, this feeling Keigo regarded was different.

It had been so long since the two of you had been so softened around each other.

Guards, after months of being raised high, had begun to fall.

  Thank God.

 Your eyes watered as you lowered your face to his, ghosting your lips over his, “I missed you too, Kei’. I missed you so, so much.”

 How many minutes of hell had your both endured? And how many were there still to go? Thoughts of fear and anguish constantly swirled within the two of you for so long. They certainly hadn’t stopped, but they were lessening. Therapy helped. Being in the new place with a fresh start did wonders for the two you. Keigo’s passion for cooking continued to grow and you had taken up a few new hobbies of your own. 

It was the mundane, you supposed, that was the stitching for broken relationships. The real healing of proverbial flesh and bone was intimacy, vulnerability, and love.

“Hey, Kei’,” You kissed him breathless, once, twice, three times. “I love you, you know? A lot.”

“Yeah?” Keigo giggled, something high and light that he wouldn’t have released a year ago. “I love you too. So much.”

 The night continued in tender fucking, the two of you visibly watching wounds begin to grow smaller and scar, no more fire, and no more forced stitchings. 

Salvation came from time and small things, you supposed, half-asleep and nestled neck to Keigo, feeling better than you had in a long time.  

---------------

     You supposed, some time later, that karma gave the two of you a small gift. In the eyes of all things, it must’ve been just a spec, but God, it was something. 

     ...

They had come back over a year and half from when you had tried to heal Keigo. 

The attempt wasn’t forgotten, no, but it certainly wasn’t at the forefront of your minds like it used to be. Except the one morning that Keigo got up before you, sleepily yawning his way to the bathroom.

You heard his sharp gasp, loud exclamations in your half asleep state.

“Babe?” Your voice hoarse with sleep, you spoke. “You okay?”

Keigo jumped onto the bed, straddling over you and the comforter. 

“(Y/N)!” Oh, his eyes were wet. Soft, gooey tears were streaming down his face as he shakily grabbed your wrists. He pressed them to the scars of his back.

Your eyes went wide as your hands brushed against small, soft feathers. 

“Keigo!” You shouted, sitting up, urging him to turn around so you could take a better look. 

Keigo trembled as he bared his back to you. 

Your breath caught as your hands trailed down his marred flesh.

The scars, old and worn now, had faded a great deal. The charred plain calmed with time, perhaps by your own touch and very much so by Keigo’s own cells and flesh.

But, in the center of his back, where the roots of his wings once were, was something growing anew.

Small, burgundy feathers were growing from spindly looking, down-covered bones and skin.

They were small, nothing like his old wings. More aged, with their darker color. The feathers felt softer as you ran your hands along the largest, no bigger than your hand from wrist to tip.

Keigo shuddered.

“Do... Do they feel like they used to?” You asked, transfixed.

Keigo shakily shook his head, “N-no, they feel less sensitive I think. They feel different.”

...

 As Keigo had healed and changed, so had his body.

His wings never grew to their own old size and power, not even close. They couldn’t support his own body weight, so Keigo never flew again. But, the feathers, wine-colored and almost bruised looking, could be sent to do small tasks, much like his old ones.  

At first, it seemed cruel. After so long and so much, his wings grew back but in such a decrepit form. For days, the two of you waited and waited to see what the final form of his regrowth would be. In the end, at their best, they stretched out to about the span of Keigo’s arms. The feathers weren’t symmetrical either, even at their peak regrowth. Some grew in fluffy and rounded, while others were jagged, sticking out awkwardly from the rest of his form. 

Over time, the inherent disappointment and despondence turned into appreciation.

Because they had come back, it just took time. 

...

With enough time, Keigo wore them proudly, no matter how oddly they stuck out from his marred skin. Keigo’s body was still too damaged to do hero work proper, but he still was kept around.

At the end of the day, the feathers colored like dried blood represented something far larger. If the completely destroyed number two hero could come back to even a fraction of his former, angelic glory, that was something, right?

It was like in the eyes of all things, you were both awarded a physical manifestation of healing. The gnarly wings that grew from Keigo’s body may have been off-putting to some, but to the two of you, it was a testament to it all.

It just took time. 

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