I love "i would kill for you" ship dynamics but what about "i would stop killing" ship dynamic??
I would lay down my sword for you. I would change my nature and go against everything i've known. I would resist the easy way out of solving my problems. I would give up the adrenaline of battle to stay by your side and make tea instead. I'm not sure I know who I am without a weapon in my hand because I've had to fight for so long but for you I'm willing to try and figure this out.
It must be hard. To put down your weapon that's protected you for so long. It's allowed you to stay alive it's kept you from getting hurt--physically and mentally. Because you've never had to worry about a real relationship if you think you'll be dead at the next battle. And you feel naked without it and it feels like you're ripping off an extension of yourself. Are you even whole without it? Are you worthy of being loved if you can't prove it by risking your life? And yet they've found someone who's asking them for something much harder than dying in battle on their behalf. They've found someone who wants them to live. And that's much more terrifying.
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
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OKAY THE ONE THING I DONT LIKE ABOUT STEVEN UNIVERSE IS HOW THEY VILIFY PINK DIAMOND/ROSE QUARTZ BRO SHE'S LITERALLY AN ABUSE SURVIVOR MAKING CHOICES AN ABUSE SURVIVOR WOULD MAKE AND THE PLOT AND EVEN STEVEN IS LIKE, "yeah she sucks," BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SWEAR TA FUCKING GOD BE SO REAL RN.
"she made mistakes/hard decisions" TURNS INTA, "she was a bad person," IN THE MOVIE AND FINAL SEASON LIKE??? SHE WAS A LEADER OF A REBELLION AND HADTA PRIORITIZE CERTAIN THINGS SHE DIDNT WANT TA MAKE THOSE DECISIONS!! SHE CARED ABOUT THE GEMS AROUND HER!! SHE LIED CUZ SHE FELT SHE HADTA. SHE WASNT SOME SPOILED BRAT SHE MADE SOUND DECISIONS FOR HER CIRCUMSTANCES!!!!!! she literally tried ta tell the gems around her she was like them and told them not ta put her on a pedestal but they did anyway??? and got upset when she turned out ta be a flawed person???
like thats not ta say characters arent justified in being upset with her actions but making her out ta be a bad person cuz she inadvertently hurt people??? painting her as a villain b/c her abusive guardians decided ta go apeship on earth and any crystal gems they came in contact with???? when she was likely in survival mode???? i hate the way the show paints her i hate hate hate it.
grrrrr GRRRRR
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you have learned that the palace nymphs call you alice, a woman bound by something unknown, she who is from nowhere yet is the center of attention, the universe. king gojo's universe.
the king takes a particular liking towards you. he's much more taller than you in the space of the library. wearing distinguishable clothes that alert you that you're not talking to just anyone. the way he moves tells you everything you need to know. he's the king.
"your majesty," with embarrassment, you bow your head down, but the king makes it evident that no such attitudes like that are required with him. alone, at least.
he has been kind, too kind to let you live in the palace, granting you a room that could place marie antoniette's to shame. even the maids have noticed. they sneer behind your back, how a foreigner could ever make the king do what would only be done for a queen. but if they ever send a direct dirty look your way or do anything against you, fae king gojo has already taken care of it.
the elaborate dinners, sweet cream pastries with berries are rich. rich in care, in quality, as if you've dreamt the finest of dreams, this place is a heaven. and you see it.
king satoru treats you like no man ever has. holds your hand with the upmost respect, as if you were made of porcelain, his eyes feels like the gentle rays of light from your morning window, or the cool breeze of the night. never too much.
"stay with me," he asks of you one night, outside his balcony. your white shimmery gossamer dress, made with the most precision and care reflects among the moonlight, reminding you of the life you could live if you stay with him. the elaborate dinners, finest of goods, and the romantic attention you've always dreamed of cause you to hold your breath.
and then you wake up.
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i know im an overemotional, overreactive pathetic little wimp about my hyperfixation, and i dont even mean that derogatory, i think its both my best AND worst quality, im well aware of it, especially in moments when im already stressed i have a hard time to get my brain back into control, im so well aware of it that i HAVE been managing to learn how to deal with it actually
which is why, instead of letting myself spiral any further, i went to bed to let my brain calm down
and it worked!
i still hate the live action zelda thing, i still think it WILL be bad, and it will still negatively affect how i feel about the franchise as a whole, i am not spiraling out of control about it though, which i think is a win in my book, some people hate that i say my opinion at all though, more on twitter than here so hey, im grateful to not be called pathetic to my face bc i said something someone might decry as too 'weird'
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(Another ramble incoming - this one I’ve been sitting on for a bit. But it’s about Bebou & the French. And the jail incident. And also bla bla bla this is about the characters)
I might be wrong but I really think that if some of the french agree with q!bbh about the government being bad/anarchy being good thing… it’s not because Bad managed to convince them that q!forever is some horrible dictator with his wily demon cunning and manipulative silvertongue or something. it’s because. they just. agree with his views and sympathize with him. Like they just sometimes think Bad has a point, is the thing. Now I know Bad likes to spread misinformation but he rarely does it in a way that can really be taken seriously, or have any big effect (with a few… exceptions).
Bad likes to jokingly blame Forever for like anything and everything but if anyone actually presses him about it (I’m pretty sure pierre, antoine, and etoiles all have to varying degrees) he’s pretty quick to emphasize that he trusts Forever’s judgment and moral compass.
Or he used to. Until he got pushed into a cage trap. It’s clear he lost a significant amount of trust in Forever and everyone else who was involved with that. And he suspected Forever (or Cellbit) of framing him, but I’d say that’s relatively reasonable considering, from his perspective, they jumped to a conclusion with no proof. He doesn’t understand why they wouldn’t hear him out, so he’s looking for a reason. And he’s telling other people not because he’s trying to spread misinfo but because that’s just what he believes and usually, he’s telling people because they’re asking him.
Anyway, Pierre didn’t really steal the waystones because he automatically believed everything Bad said about Forever being a dictator immediately and with no hesitation. If he accepted or encouraged what Bad said, it’s because he probably already agreed to some extent. Pierre, Antoine, Etoiles - they’re smarter than blindly accepting the truth from badboyhalo the Chronic Gossiper. And at least 2/3rds of them are also convinced that Bad and Forever are dating - so they’re not taking what Bad says about Forever that seriously.
If you ask me: Pierre did it because he was probably already more politically aligned with Bad’s anarchist ideals than he ever was with Forever’s and, most importantly, because he witnessed Bad get jailed unfairly with his OWN. TWO. EYEBALLS. LIKE HE SAW THAT. HE WAS THERE.
How did he know Bad was framed? He TALKED TO HIM. He went to his base and had a conversation with him and of the two (count it with me - TWO) people that actually heard Bad out that day (Foolish and Pierre) both of them came out of the conversation believing he wasn’t the culprit. Wouldn’t you know it - communication solved that conflict pretty fast, but Bad didn’t get a chance to communicate to Forever or anyone else because they almost immediately dogpiled him. And Pierre saw that happen.
And I’m pretty sure he also saw Forever hold a vote and then accept that Bad was guilty of a crime. A crime. That isn’t illegal. That he didn’t even do in the first place.
So. I’m sure you can see why Pierre might feel the urge to defend Bad - maybe even from Forever specifically, and of his own volition. Although I can’t say stealing all the waystones and rearranging them into a pentagram above Forever’s house was a particularly reliable method of doing so, nor can I say Bad really needed the protection - Forever had no malicious intent and was fully trying to be fair. (can you tell im a q!forever apologist? because if you can’t: he did nothing wrong. Maybe one day I will make a giant post about how much of a q!forever apologist i am).
Am I making sense. At all. It’s 2am. And I’m getting the sensation that I’m missing something with this one but I’m too tired to correct it so I’ll look at it later.
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Consider, if you will, AU (either with canon post-s1 pre-s2 events but D.A.D.D.I.E.S. solves things before season 2 would start, or no Doodler/betrayal but Nicky still has to leave because FBI or other reasons) in which Terry Jr is the full time drama teacher for Teen High. Nicky returns from wherever he's been and is like "Well I want to be an active part of my kid's life and try and make up for lost time. I should go to his parents' evening, find out how he's doing in school, and meet his teachers. Especially this Mr Marlowe guy, Taylor seems to think he's awesome." And walking right into that classroom/hall to find his ex-boyfriend best friend sitting there in a dorky sweater and tie combo
Cue Terry, without missing a beat, greeting them as if nothing is wrong
Internal: when the FUCK did he come back and oh my god this is so awkward fuck I have to be professional how do I tell this guy that his kid is a loveable little shit after everything that's happened oh god oh fuck
Externally: "Hello Taylor and Mr Close-Foster-Freeman. I'm Taylor's drama teacher" *shakes hand* "Would you like to take a seat?"
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