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#(i was gonna do the drawing for free originally but my friend wanted 2 pay for it which was sweet)
PSA for this fandom i’m in
so i get it young people or people who aren’t well versed in fandom/internet etiquette yet, might not know this and no one tells them so I WILL TELL YOU ALL NOW :
you know when you see cool artists with cool drawing and you get all excited right? you love their art and even better if you can be friends with them?
but some things that you do that might gonna end up annoy those artists and could potentially make them AVOID YOU INSTEAD :
1. reposting their art. by repost, it means : you downloaded their art and post it as your own post. why do artists didn’t like when their art is reposted? you’re just sharing their art and want everyone to know right?
people who didn’t know the artist or you would see the art uploaded on your account without credit and they gonna think YOU are the one who made it. from scratch. all of it....when that's not the case, but people don’t usually check. so the recognition and comments and praise goes to YOU, instead of the actual artist
kinda the exact opposite of what you want to achieve if you want to share their work and want to make everyone know how good artist they are isn’t it?
so what to do then? how do i tell them i love their art without them ended up hating and annoyed by my approach? by REBLOGGING (or REPLY AND RETWEET if you’re on twitter). wait till the artists themselves upload it on their account and then REBLOG/RETWEET. or if you must feeling like, inspired or want to make fanart of their fanart, you can reblog the original art post with your art or reply the original art post if it’s in twitter, and this way, both the source art, and your fanart of said fanart is there, and it won’t look like you’re stealing/taking the art without permission
2. similar case when when a fic writer got a “when ‘s the next update” comment on their fic, let them finish their work on their own pace, i know you're excited for their next work but BE PATIENT PLEASE. maybe you just want to ask when is it done, but that kind of question can be taken as "hurry up and finish it!"....some artists might get put off by such demand and might not even gonna want to finish it because of that, like "who are you? you didn’t even pay me to make this why are you so demanding?" so better be careful
same thing with REQUESTS. demanding free request out of nowhere when you just met for few days isn’t gonna make good impression....
sometimes the artists just don’t have time, or have real life stuff going on, life, work, or just don’t have energy or ideas to make new art or finish the art and such things cannot be forced. they're human beings with their own life and schedule too, please consider that.
Please i know you probably had no idea, and i apologize if this post sounds harsh or overwhelming. But i'm worried that you might end up driving those artists/other fan creators away if you're not mindful when interacting with them
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xpeachesncream · 3 years
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how many drinks? | one shot (jjk)
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summary: the question is - how many drinks would it take for you to sleep with your bestfriend?
pairing: jjk x reader
genre: (18+) college au, dance group au, bestfriends/bestfriends with some benefits au | fluff, smut, sprinkle of angst
words: ~12.2k
warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, kind of crack-y, dancer!jk to fulfill my needs, unprotected sex, sprinkle of dirty talk, fingering, sprinkle of a handjob, slight biting, nails digging into skin, oc almost gets taken advantage of/forced into doing things she doesn’t wanna do, rough handling, song kang is in this too because i’m also a hooch for him but he’s an ass here, alcohol consumption, intoxication, mentions of blunts/smoking, house parties, cuddling, kissing/makeout sessions, straddling, breast/nipple play, hickeys, fucking on the edge of the bed, multiple orgasms, fingering, licking/neck kisses, oral (f. receiving)
note: one shot title is taken from miguel's song ‘how many drinks’ + a couple of things--
both hoseok and jimin’s piece mentioned below are inspired by real-life pieces my old dance mentor has choreographed and taught. this is the inspiration behind hoseok’s couple piece; this is the inspiration for jimin’s piece
i’m a hooch for all three of them in this video
enjoy imagining koo and oc dancing part of their couples piece like this 🥺
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"Y/N." You picked up Jungkook's call as you sat at your desk in your dorm room. You had been finishing up your bio homework until the interruption came blaring through on your headphones.
"Yes?"
"Can I nap in your room?"
"The fuck I look like? A hotel?" You snorted.
"Yeah, a 5 star at that with how good you take care of me." He tries to butter you up, causing you to roll your eyes.
"You're lucky I like you."
"Yesssssssss!" You hear him faintly exclaim on the other line. "Be there in a sec."
"You know my doors are always unlocked." Which, it was true. So many of your friends had decided to live off campus that you and your other bestfriend [and beloved suitemate] were probably the only few left on campus. And that meant people were constantly in your room, hanging out or using both of your rooms, [with permission] or the couches in the shared living room space of your suite as a place to nap. College, amirite? Why the fuck would you lose your parking spot to go back to your apartment when you have friends who lived right on campus? You weren't just good for smuggling free food from the cafeteria to your broke ass, struggling off-campus friends.
Sooner or later, you're greeted by a fluffy, black-haired Jungkook, looking like his shit must have air-dried with how wavy and voluminous it was. He swings your door open so aggressively that you jump a bit in your seat, swinging off your headphones like you weren't even expecting him. You watch as he flings himself onto your neatly made bed like he hasn't felt a bed in years.
"Ugh, yes." He moans as he belly flops onto your bed and stays in that position.
"When's your next class, you little baby?"
"In like an hour or so, I don't know." He says sleepily. "Wake me up, please?"
"Sure." You realize it's Wednesday, and he definitely has Ecology lab later at 3:00PM. You figured you'd wake him up by 2:30 just to give him enough time to groggily walk his ass back over to the science building.
You and Jungkook weren't really close before college. It was moreso that you knew of each other since high school because of mutual friends. You'd see him at parties and he'd see you, but it was never more than the casual hi and bye and small talk. Maybe the occasional comments on facebook pages and the likes on pictures on instagram. But foreel, other than that, that's as real as your friendship got for awhile. You didn't mind it though, you were good with your set of friends and he was good with his. A lot of your friends attended the same university as you two and then your groups intertwined even more. 
But, it wasn't until the past couple of months or so where you both unexpectedly got really close - simply just by talking more and being around each other more. You both had similar interests and Jungkook wasn't the most vocal in his group, but with you, he seemed to talk endlessly. He loved comics and he loved raving to you about Marvel and DC superheroes. He loved to draw, and he'd draw you things every now and then - his most recent being you as a scientist superhero saving the world from overgrown malaria-infected mosquito monsters. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you tacked it against your cork board near your desk. Then, small things like that turned to bringing you food or boba, being stuck at the hip where he'd only go to a certain place on campus if you were there; texting each other inside jokes and funny ass tweets all day turned to facetime sleepover calls and then late hangouts eventually turned to actual sleepovers in your bed, where he'd drape his arm around while you both slept but it never escalated into anything more than that in bed. Although he did fucking hate your medium-sized Olaf plushie that took shelter on your bed - he'd always hike it across the room and talk about how annoying he is and how he's always taking his spot. You never understood it, really.
And then soon, it turned to small displays of affection behind closed doors, where Jungkook would hold you close. Hold your hand if you two were in the room watching a show, or movie. Small kisses exchanged. Big kisses exchanged, making out sessions. But, that was literally it. Nothing else. No sex. No pressure. Lots of unspoken feelings, obviously, but you weren't gonna be the one to bring that up. Because you were comfortable, and if anything, you didn't wanna ruin what you guys already had going.
Like, is this a friends with benefits thing? Maybe? Maybe not? It was hard to label it because it's not like you both determined so, it kind of just fell together that way. And there was really no pressure to fuck every single time you got affectionate. It was cute, sweet. And no one really knew it was like that behind doors - possibly your suitemate Kass and her boyfriend, Jimin, but that's only because you shared the dorm suite with her. Jimin was also one of Jungkook's roommates and his really good friend, so whenever they had slept over on the same night, it was pure and utter chaos. But honestly, if Kass and Jimin hadn't been around you two much, they most certainly wouldn't have the idea.
Whatever it was, it was a comfortable closeness that you both experienced and appreciated. However, the both of you were afraid of discussing what this really was, afraid it'll ruin the dynamic. The atmosphere. Having to come to terms of what it might, or might not be. Neither of you can fully admit that you like the other. Although, it got hard. People did lightly tease you two because you both always looked for each other and were stuck by the hip out on campus.
Oh, well. Bottom line is that you liked your relationship where it was at, but it doesn't mean you haven't thought about the what if's. Jungkook was insanely attractive, and it's no lie that girls swarmed him left and right on campus, but he didn't give a shit [either he didn't give a shit or he was dumb as hell?]. Okay, rewind — to be fair, he would have a fling or two, flirt once or twice. He'd tell you so and so was cute and that they've hung out or texted, but that's it. He just wasn't necessarily looking for anything cause he too enjoyed where he was at with everything.
It doesn't take long before Sleeping Beauty is snoring face down on your bed, looking like Patrick Star with the way he's sprawled out. But, you continue to do your work until it was time to wake him. You gently shake him, his puppy eyes looking back at you after being face down all nap.
"Class time."
"No." He groans. "Can't I just stay here with you?"
"No, dude. Get to class." You chuckle. "You already skipped last week."
"Yeah, but this is a new week Y/N."
"Jungkook." You almost say in a scolding manner.
"Fiiiiiiine." He whines as he shoots up and hops off from your bed. "Are you going to our party on Friday?"
"I said I'd think about it right?"
"Yeah, like on Monday. It's Wednesday."
"And I'm still thinking about it." You snort, making him pout.
"Just come for a little bit."
"Why? You know parties aren't my thing and you'll be too drunk anyways. I'll end up wanting to go right the fuck back home as soon as I step outside."
"I'd like to be drunk and have you there. It'll be more fun!" He pouts as he holds your hand and swings it back and forth.
"I mean, to be completely honest, I'll probably end up going because of Kass anyways."
"Because of Kass." He rolls his eyes. "Oooookay. Not because of you, Jungkook, no." He says sarcastically, brows furrowed.
"Ew. You're such a fucking whiner. Leave." You laugh, throwing an empty water bottle at him.
"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Wanna grab dinner with me after practice?"
"Sure. If you pay." He groans
"Fine. I'll see you later." He puckers up his lips to blow you a kiss, which you automatically reject by giving him a look before turning your attention back to your homework. You were hoping he'd offer to go to In-n-Out because you were craving that #2 with animal fries and a neapolitan shake, plus there was a Target in the same plaza that you wanted to drag him to for new pens and clearance sale shopping. And you wouldn't even warn him about it. He would tag along, no question.
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Hoseok stands in front of the mirrors in the studio, pacing back and forth as your dance group learned a couple of 8-counts from this new piece he had been brewing up. Apparently, it was supposed to be a couples piece but he wasn't sure if he was going to keep it that way. He watched to see if this would be better as a group, or if he should stick to his original plans.
Your college dance group was a small group formed by people with pure, genuine interest and love for modern hip hop choreography. Hoseok was the dance lead, with Jimin being the back up lead. The group came together, taught each other pieces, taught workshops for those interested on campus and performed at the various talent shows and productions the school had throughout the year. It was just your group's way of showcasing your talents, something you all purely enjoyed, and it was nice to see the love and support given by the audiences.
"Okay, run that from the top one more time please. We'll take break after, swear." Hoseok chuckles and gives Jimin the cue to start the song back at the starting point. Jungkook makes a funny face at you as he huffs and puffs, trying to catch his breath from the last time you went through the counts.
"Ew." You giggle, slightly pushing him aside. Miguel's How Many Drinks begins to blast through the studio speakers, Jungkook doing his best to sing along and match his tone all while focusing on his steps. Once you're done going through the counts, the music continues to play, Jungkook twirling over to you just to sing—
"Cause I ain't leavin' aloneeee, I feel like I could be honest, babe." He spins to your other side. "We both know that we're grown, that's why I wanna knooooow - how many drinks will it take you to leave with meeeeEEeeeE?"
"You can give me all the drinks in the world and I swear I still wouldn't." You snort, making him frown and click his teeth.
"Too bad that's not really how you act when I ask to sleep over, though." Silence as you stick your tongue out at him. Cause, yeah. You really do tell him to sleep over without hesitation. You loved his company, you can’t lie. "Yeah, fraudulent as hell. I never taught you that." He jokes.
"Shut up, Jungkook—"
"Okay!" Hoseok says, clapping his hands. "This'll be a couple piece. I honestly think it'll work better that way, just like I envisioned it. I'll work with the couple to clean this up before the performance, but to whoever isn't casted for this, Jimin still has a piece to teach the rest of you, so don't feel discouraged!" Hoseok chuckles a bit, giving the rest of the group a small smile. "So with that being said - Y/N, Jungkook, I want you two to do this piece."
"Ouuuuuuuu." Jimin teases you from the sidelines, causing you to put up your middle finger.
"We won’t let you down, cap." Jungkook swings his arm around you.
"I'll teach you the rest of the piece next practice so we can start polishing it up and making it clean before the talent show."
"Sounds good with me." You flatly say, even though 100%, you're pretty excited for many reasons. One, you had been wanting to do a solo or couples piece for awhile, and two, your partner was Jungkook. Your best friend, your ride or die, the dude you've spent so much time with and gave your affection to behind closed doors. It made you giddy just thinking about it, even if you'd blatantly lie to his face later on when he'd tease you. And Jungkook felt the same. You missed the way he subtly bit on his bottom lip when you were named his partner, just so he wouldn't smile too big in front of you.
After practice, you egg him on enough to agree to take you to In-N-Out, without hinting at the plan you had drafted out in your head earlier.  The plan that says you're gonna drag his ass to Target afterwards and he had no choice but to come along.
"Y/N, you liar." He groans. "You said you weren't gonna go to Target." He pouts as you follows behind you anyway.
"Kook, I literally just need to get one thing."
"What's the one thing that you couldn't get on your own time?"
"I don't know, I'll have to find out when we get in there." You giggled, causing him to groan again. "Plus, we're here already. Killing two birds with one stone."
"Ah shit, I suppose I can get some bottles for the party."
"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook."
"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook, aheh." He mocks your tone and does that really weird and ugly ass laugh that dudes always do when they try to mock girls, however, you ignore it because you've just stepped into Target and bitch, this was Disneyland to you. Heaven. Paradise.
"Hm, what are we drinking on Friday?" He says his text outloud as he follows you around the dollar section where you begin to pick up really unnecessary items that you're probably just gonna store away in or around your desk somewhere.
"Should be holy water because you all need it."
"Mmm, I don't know, I don't think they have that but we can check." He responds ever so seriously, causing you to chuckle.
"How many people are you expecting?"
"Honestly, I don't even know. We said we'd keep it to close friends only. I don't really have any friends, so that's all on them."
"Ah, makes sense as to how the entire class was invited." You fire back sarcastically. "Your upstairs neighbors are really gonna have a blast."
"They're invited too."
"You guys are so dumb." He laughs when you hit him against the chest. After walking a bit, the two of you head towards the alcohol aisle, Jungkook grabbing what his arms will allow him to grab since alcohol is a little cheaper here than other grocery stores. "Isn't there a limit as to how much alcohol you can buy?"
"I don't see anything anywhere." He hauls about 4 big bottles back to the cashiers. "Besides, I'm giving them business compared to Safeway and those other grocery stores."
"Grab the coupon at least, genuis. It could save you some money." You take off the coupons from the three bottles.
He looks down at the coupon attached to the 4th bottle. "Sign up today and get 2% cash back on every bottle you buy." He snorts after reading the coupon outloud. "More like sign up today and get 2% cash back turnt." He looks at you. "This doesn't sound like a coupon, miss. Where's the ‘get 5 dollars off’ bullshit?"
"2% cash back turnt? Really?" You furrow your brows at him and hand the coupons to the cashier. "Here. God, maybe you shouldn't be hosting parties with your roommates."
"Maybe not." He holds his bags, even grabbing onto yours as you both walk out to his car. He turns up the radio, the both of you singing along to the songs coming through. When he pulls up to the lot of Edgehill Village, he parks in someone else's marked spot only because it's technically next to your door and he doesn't anticipate to stay long. But honestly, that never goes as planned. He grabs your bag from the trunk, silently following behind you as you unlock your door to an empty suite - just as you expected. Kass was most likely at Jungkook’s, spending the night with Jimin, and you'd be alone for the night. It didn't matter to you though, the peace and quiet was always nice.
"You sure you're gonna be okay here alone?" You nod.
"Yup. It's kind of nice actually." You lean forward onto your bed since it's raised a little higher than usual with bed risers, and open up your laptop. Jungkook sets your Target bag down and wraps his arms around you from behind, planting a kiss on your cheek and on your jawline.
"You sure you don't want me to sleep over? Cuddles sound nice."
"It sounds like you want to."
"Only if you want me to." He nuzzles his head against your neck, waiting for your response.
"Kook, please." You chuckle. "If you wanna sleepover, then go ahead."
"Yesssss! I do."
"Well you need to find parking, or else the person that owns that parking spot will be highly upset."
"You got it, captain. Pull up a movie!" He says, dashing out of your room to move his car. He's most likely going to come back in another 5 minutes, being that the only free parking at this time of night is probably on the other end in the gym's lot, or somewhere on the streets [if he got lucky].
And so that 5 minutes sure does go by before Jungkook is breathing heavily when he walks into your room, duffle bag swung over his shoulder with a big, dorky ass smile on his face.
"I'm back!"
"I see." You snort, still going through the movies.
"Hey, let's run through what Hobi taught us first."
"Ugh, I'm so tired though."
"Cooooome on, just once." He pulls you by the hand, his body pressed against yours as his his other arm wraps around your waist. "Please." His puppy dog eyes look down at you, causing you to push him away because fucking hell, that shit makes you weak. Makes the pussy throb just a lil, you know? Christ.
"Only if you watch 10 Things I Hate About You."
"Sure, I don't mind." He pulls up the song on your laptop. The both of you face the mirror in front of you, careful not to hit each other since you had such limited space to fully move around. Running through it once was a full blown lie, being that you both are doing it for almost 5-6 times before you're laughing at how out of breath you already are. You're so out of it and winded by the last time around that you accidentally hit Jungkook in the face, causing him to whine and stumble off to the side.
"Oh shit!" You laugh. "I'm so sorry, Kookie!" You run over to cup his face. "Are you okay? You good?"
"Shit, Y/N. You have a heavy hand." He keeps his hand against his cheek.
"I'm sorry." You lean in to plant a kiss on his cheek, but Jungkook being Jungkook, he looks to the side to have his lips meet yours instead. He picks you up in one swift motion, your legs wrapped around his torso as he sits you on your bed, your hands still cupping his face. And honestly, you really wanted him. You've always wanted him since this whole thing started. God, he was attractive to you - every little thing about Jungkook was a fucking weakness, but you weren't gonna let up first. Not tonight. The scar on his cheek, his soft, fluffy hair, his toned body, his muscular ass arms, the way he held onto you when you both slept, the way he kissed you.
Lord, he was truly going to be the death of you.
Before the kiss could get any deeper, you smile into it and back away, keeping your gaze on the small, dazed smile Jungkook has on his face.
"Can we watch now?" You ask, subtly biting onto your bottom lip.
"Yeah, good idea."
"Actually, after all that, I need to shower first."
"Can I join?" His eyes light up.
"Sit your ass down. You can go after." You laugh as you hop off the bed, grabbing your pajamas for a quick shower. You literally take 10 minutes, walking back into your room with wet hair and an oversized shirt and shorts underneath. Although you had been completely comfortable with Jungkook, the both of you have never really seen each other fully naked like that. Whenever he slept over, you were both always fully clothed. You've seen him hop out of the shower and come in shirtless, but that's probably about it. You start to brush your teeth as he rummages through his emergency duffle bag full of shit that he holds in the trunk of his car, grabbing a fresh pair of clothes to change into after his shower. You already know his ass is gonna use your shampoo for everything because he loves the smell of it and always talks about how good your hair smells.
While waiting for him, you slip yourself under your covers and pull the laptop closer to you, scrolling through your phone aimlessly to see what's new on instagram. Which, is absolutely nothing, so you let out a dissatisfied sigh.
"Ready!" He comes in, tossing his towel aside and shutting off the lights to crawl into your bed with you.
"You smell just like me." You chuckle.
"It's great, isn't it?"
"Your hair isn't bothering you?" You run your hand through his incredibly wet hair as he shakes his head.
"No, I'll be good."
"Okay." He wraps his arm around you to pull you onto his body, the movie already off to a start. As the movie goes on, you find yourself getting sleep as both of your bodies sink deeper into the sheets, Jungkook still not letting you go. The laptop rests on his belly, while your head is on his chest, his heartbeat the one thing putting you to sleep pretty quickly. He's comfortable, just as you are. He's warm, you're warm. He's content, you're content. You drift off to sleep while he continues to watch, knowing your bodies will be pressed tightly against each other in the morning.
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"Kook there's so many fucking people here. The cops are gonna come and shut this down quick." Jungkook shrugs.
"Oh well, wasn't my idea." He snorts. "Shot?!" He hands you a shot that you take with ease, feeling like you aren't drunk enough for all this shit and all these people. "Atta girl."
"Yuck, though." You slightly make a sour face as you feel the warmth trickle down your throat and into your stomach.
"Heeeey, whyyyyy do you look so FaMiliaR?" This girl asks Jungkook in a weird, flirty tone, where every other consonant goes up and down. She's obviously really fucking drunk and out of her mind because for one, she definitely goes to the same school as you two, and she has definitely been in class with Jungkook before.
"Oh uh, my name's Justin Bieber. I used to sing from time to time." He says nonchalantly with you furrowing your forehead at him because what kind of response did he just give her?! What did he just tell her? You're so embarrassed that you slowly turn on your heel and walk out of the kitchen as you hear him sing One Less Lonely Girl hella out of tune, with the girl completely smitten over his drunk ass.
"Where's Jungkookie?" Kass asks as she sits on Jimin's lap.
"Over there, pretending to be Justin Bieber apparently."
"Oh, nice. You don't come across that often." Jimin says sarcastically. "Are you staying here tonight?"
"Yeah, stay here tonight, with Kookie." Kass wiggles her eyebrows, her cheek resting on top of Jimin's head. "It's not like that's anything new."
"Um, I'd rather much be back in the dorm."
"That cold, lonely place? When you could be here, in such a pretty apartment with such a pretty boy?" You shake your head at her.
"Unbelievable." You mutter. Suddenly, an incredibly tall man walks into the apartment, reaching about 6'1 and almost hitting the ceiling with his tall ass. You've never seen him before, but he walks in with Hoseok and Namjoon and for whatever reason, you can't peel your eyes off of him. "Woah, who's that?"
"Who's what?" Jungkook finally comes to your side after being Justin Bieber for a good minute or so, his eyes following yours. Who was he and why were you looking at him so intensely?
"That's Kang! You've never met him?" Jimin says, doing a slight nod to greet him as he passes by. Kang and his fine self looks up at you, a small smirk creeping up at the corner of his lips as he continues through to the kitchen behind Hoseok and Namjoon. "He's a transfer and on the basketball team."
"He's fiiiiine." You and Kass swoon over him a bit, Jungkook giving you a look.
"He's alriiiight. I've seen better."
"Shut up, no one asked you." You lightly punch him on the side, making him lightly groan while Jimin and Kass laugh. The rest of the party, you suddenly have a goal to find out more about Kang and see what he's about because you and Jungkook weren't official. You both didn't really know what this was, but one thing you knew for sure was that it wasn't anything exclusive. You wouldn't bring it up, so wouldn't Jungkook - so was this really something all that meaningful?
Whatever, you didn't wanna keep going in circles about it.
Jungkook fucking hates it though, and he's honestly really jealous that you're suddenly trying to be all cute and woo the new, tall, handsome [but he's not really that fucking handsome to Jungkook for christ's sake] basketball player. Jungkook almost wants to mock his every move and how suavé he is, almost looking like a try hard with the way he's leaning against the wall and talking to you.
Wait— he's talking to you?! You were literally right next to him 2 seconds ago.
"What the fuck?" He squints, trying to make sure he's actually looking at you.
"You're so full of shit." Jimin laughs.
"What are you talking about?"
"Why don't you just admit that you like her and stop being childish about it?"
"I don't like her. She's just my bestfriend."
"Um, okay?" Jimin snorts. "When you sleep at her place every chance you get and vice versa? When she has a ton of your shirts and hoodies in her own fucking closet? When you always get so affectionate with her in the dorm? Sure, you don't like her."
"How do you know that?"
"I just do, you've done it in front of me and Kass before but you both tried playing it off. I don't understand you two."
"Well, I don't like her. She obviously doesn't either with the way she's trying to be all up on him." Jungkook glares at you, his teeth biting the rim of the cup harshly as he brings it to his lips to take a sip.
"Whatever, I'm just saying dude. Probably better to be straight up about it than not."
"Kaaaaaaay." Jungkook responds sarcastically, trying to play off how butthurt he was right now. Cause yeah, he did fucking like you. He was just scared to admit it though because of reasons like this - the fact that you possibly didn't like him back killed him. The fact that you could possibly be using him to feel wanted, needed. It made his stomach turn.
He just really liked you, and god, did he want to be the one in your bed tonight. Whether or not that ended up in sex, whatever. He just wanted to be the one to touch you, be on you.
Meanwhile, Kang was attractive as hell and ouwee, were you feeling him tonight. You were, you really were - except, you could literally feel the holes Jungkook was burning through you from across the room. You'd occasionally glance over due to how distracting it was, Jungkook literally have no shame with eyeing you, almost glaring at you, from across the apartment.
"Is it too forward if I ask for your number already?" Kang licks his lips, his teeth lightly piercing his bottom lip as he looks down at you.
"No." You smirk at him, taking his phone to put your number in.
"We should kick it soon. I'd love to hang out with you and get to know you better."
"Yeah, just let me know when." You blush, until you're suddenly pulled out of your daze by a loud 'ahem,' the loudest throat-clearing you have ever heard in your life. You turn to see Jungkook making his way back over to the shots, knowing damn well he's calling you over. "See you around?" Kang winks before he tips his cup to you and gives you a single nod.
"Sure thing, cutiepie." You bite onto your bottom lip, making your way over to Jungkook at the shot station, instantly pinching his arm.
"What the fuck?"
"Nobody was calling you over." Jungkook smirks.
"Shut the fuck up, yes you were. I know that was you clearing your throat like that."
"I'm sorry, does it bother you?" He blinks cutely, tilting his head to the side. "Besides, why come over here when you're too busy with your man?"
"Are you jealous?"
"Why in the hell would I be jealous, Y/N? Do you." The words sting you, even though part of you still wants to believe that Jungkook may actually like you. All you can do is sigh and brush it off, placing your cup down in front of him as he pours himself another shot. "You sure?"
"Just give me the damn shot." You say, making it your 7th.
And the 7th turns into 8, 8 turns into 9, 9 turns into 10. And at 10, you're pretty fucking drunk even as the party is starting to die down by the time it's close to 2am. All 10 were a good combination of shots and mixed drinks.
10 drinks.
10 drinks is what it took for you to lay in Jungkook's bed at the end of the night, hands tangled in his fluffy hair as your makeout session intensifies by the minute - all due to this sexual tension, frustration, whatever the hell it was brewing between you two after all this time. The both of you are drunk as hell, and it's pretty evident with the way you can still taste the alcohol on his tongue, both sloppily touching up on each other, kisses getting wetter, clothes coming off like there's no tomorrow.
"Wait, are you sure?" Jungkook says, about to unhook your bra.
"Jungkook, god, just fuck me." You plead drunkily, the room spinning around you. He continues to unhook your bra, tossing it across the room where your other clothes lay, peppering kisses along your neck before licking up a stripe to meet your lips again. He hooks his fingers across the band of your panties, tugging them down and letting them get lost within his sheets. You take this as leverage to tug his boxer briefs down, already stroking his hardened member the moment you come into contact with it. The sad thing is that you both are so fucking drunk, you can't even appreciate the fact that you both are naked in front of each other for the first time ever.
You can't even come to terms with the fact that you both are about to fuck each other and cross that boundary completely.
But, hell, what do you care? You were drunk. You got a cute guy's number. You're getting dick at the end of the night.
"Oh shit, Y/N." He moans into your mouth as he feels you stroking him. "Need to feel you." He quickly runs his finger down your fold, slipping in two digits to pump them in and out, quickly prepping you for his dick.
"Hnnng--Kook." You bite onto your bottom lip as your eyes shut close momentarily, your head digging deeper into the pillow the more he tries to stretch you out. "Want you inside of me."
"I got you." He says. You almost whine at the loss of contact until you feel his tip poking at your entrance. He slowly continues to slip himself inside of you, Kook letting out a small groan while your mouth was left open, a soundless moan releasing before you hiss and take in all of him. He fills you up so well, so completely. He was so big that you felt full, bloated, with him being inside of you the way he was.
"Ohhhhhgod." You whimper as he starts to steady his pace, the lewd noises of his cock slipping in and out of your wet pussy filling his room - god forbid if Jimin or their other roommate Yoongi heard this right now. It would be nothing short of pornographic.
"You're so wet. Is that all for me?" He says, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head as he begins to aggressively thrust into you.
"Y-yes." You whine.
"Say it again."
"All for you, Kook."
"I fucking thought so." He drunkily responds as one hand grips onto your hips tightly, the other in your hair as he digs his head back into the crook of your neck, his tongue messily licking near your jaw before he nibbles onto your earlobe.
"Hmmmmgggh, Jungkook. Fuck." You moan as you start to work your hips upward into his, your clit rubbing against his pelvis, causing the pleasure to pool quickly within the pit of your stomach. It causes goosebumps to pierce through the surface of your skin, your hands gripping tighter on his hair. "You're-you're gonna make me cum. Faster." You plead. He does just so, hammering into you, the sound of his hips slamming into yours bouncing off of the walls.
"Ahhh—Y/N." He groans.
"Just like that, just like that, just like that!" You repeat, your clit feeling incredibly stimulated by the way it rubs against his skin while he fucks into you. "Oh shit! Jungkook!" You moan loudly, biting his shoulder as you feel yourself trembling hard in his grip, your orgasm taking over your entire body.
"Shit, shit, shit—Y/N, Shiiiit." He says into your neck, followed by more curses and groans as you feel him coat your walls warmly. He stays inside of you until the both of you come back down to normalcy, your breathing becoming more regulated. He slowly slips himself out, plopping next to you on the bed, but doesn't welcome you into his arms.
The night goes on, the both of you sleeping on your own sides of Jungkook's bed, not really saying a word to each other. Because the both of you, although still pretty drunk, are more aware by the time it's over and it's become so clear how fucked up this got.
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You were hurt. Completely hurt. Because you didn't expect Jungkook to just fucking ghost you after that night. You wanted to talk about it, maybe come to the conclusion that you two should just distance yourselves from each other to figure this out, even if it would hurt you a lot to do so.
No.
That morning, Jimin and Kass had to take you back to campus because Jungkook had darted out of his room, nowhere to be seen until later that night. The next week or so, there were no texts, no calls. No visiting your dorm, no asking to sleepover.
Nothing.
Just radio silence, white noise, if you will.
The one thing he could come up with was a stupid response to your text when you finally caved and asked what you did wrong mid-week.
Something along the lines of 'what do you want me to say, Y/N? do you want me to force myself to feel a certain way?'
Followed by a 'i'm sorry, fuck. that came out really wrong' even though you thought it came out perfectly fine. You understood loud and clear.
Even though this wasn't really an exclusive thing, or even a 'thing' if we wanna be straight up, you still couldn't help but feel like Jungkook had just dumped your ass with no explanation and you were still waiting for that explanation to come, whether it would or not. And because of this, you started to see Kang, hangout with him more often. He even took you out on a dinner date and you really enjoyed his company. He seemed genuine, caring, supportive - even if a lot of the basketball boys were the complete opposite. He was different, you liked to think.
And so you stand in front of the mirrors in the dance studio, you and Jungkook awkwardly running through the piece with Hoseok watching, confused as to why all of a sudden the two of you have this weird tension going on. It hasn't entirely ruined the couple piece, but it hasn't brought it together, either. The both of you could barely look at each other, barely get into the movements, the emotions behind the motions. Hoseok had to correct a few things, his 'pah pah pah's' echoing in the room constantly with how many times you and Jungkook had to be set straight for your sloppy steps today.
"Okay, I'm not saying it's bad, cause it's not. But can you both please act like you at least like each other or something? What's going on with you two? You aren't normally like this." Hoseok says, coming down to a crouch in front of the mirrors.
"Nothing, we'll do better. Don't worry." You brush off the entire question with your quick response. Jungkook looks at you, his hands on his hips, lightly frowning at how much you're distancing yourself even though he knows its entirely his fault for running from his feelings and not being honest with you.
"Okay, let's do it from the top." The music starts, you getting into the piece without making any eye contact with Jungkook. Even the steps that cause you to be close and near Jungkook, you look anywhere but his eyes, and your touch is light, trying your hardest not to let any feelings pass through the motion. Hoseok is a little more pleased this time around, but it still doesn't sit right with him, so he lets you two take a break while he heads to the other studio to check on Jimin and the rest of the group.
"Hey. Are you okay?"
"Jungkook, you don't get to ask me that." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, not sure if he should continue on or not.
"Y/N—"
"Save it, and let's just get this over with, okay? I don't wanna be here just as much as you." Your words cut him deep because dear, you have gotten him completely misunderstood and yet, he still can't speak. He still can't talk about his feelings. He still can't save this even though he wants to, even though he loathes seeing you the way you are with Kang.
"I never said—"
"Kay, ready? Let's run this full out and make it a good one so we can call it for today." Hoseok says, clapping his hands to hype you two up somehow. The music starts and you're finally able to get into the steps. The emotions. And god, it's only because you're so hurt by your own bestfriend. You're hurt that he fucked you so good, and then dipped. You're hurt that he couldn't even face you the day after. You're hurt that after all this time, he made it seem like you still didn't matter enough - at least enough for an explanation, for some kind of reasoning, conversation, behind what just went down between the both of you. Between what has been going down between the both of you.
Besides the stupid ass responses he gave you through text.
You get so into your feelings that you don't even realize you're tearing up by the time the piece is over, and Jungkook catches it even though you face away from him as soon as the music cuts out.
"Nice, okay! That was so much better! Let's pick it up next session, yeah? We'll keep cleaning it up. Thanks guys!" Hoseok says. You immediately head towards the wall, grabbing your things to avoid any confrontation from Jungkook, but he grabs your arm as soon as you slip through the door.
"Y/N, wait. Stop."
"Let me go." You yank your arm from his grip.
"Why are you crying?" He stops in front of you, his hands placed on your arms to prevent you from moving any further.
"I'm not." You blatantly lie while you aggressively wipe away the stragglers coming down.
"Really? Just gonna lie like that?"
"Why do you care? You haven't said shit to me all week." You snap back, and Jungkook is taken aback from the tone in your voice. You remove his hands from your arms, and take one last look at him before shaking your head and walking off.
Next mistake? He doesn't come after you.
This was a waste of fucking time. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't let you hurt like this.
You let out a deep sigh before clutching onto your things and walking back to your dorm. The walk from the gym/fitness center was damn near on the other end of campus compared to your dorm. It would be a good 10 minute walk if you really took your time. A good 10 minutes to ponder on your thoughts.
Yes, you liked Jungkook. You really liked him. Having sex with him solidified those feelings even more. How could you not have feelings for your bestfriend after all the moments you've shared? Was it your fault for assuming that? Was it your fault for walking through that door when it seemed to be completely open for you?
"Sup." Kang comes out of nowhere, pulling you out of your thoughts. He swings his arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you closer to his body.  "Just got out of practice?"
"Sure did." You give him a toothless smile. Yes, he was attractive as hell. He always will be. But, even with the time you spent together, the date he took you on, he still couldn't make you feel the way Jungkook has been able to make you feel.
"How was it?"
"Um, it was alright. Nothing new really, just cleaning up the piece before the show. You're going right?"
"Why wouldn't I?" He smiles down at you. "Listen, I don't know if you've heard, but there's another party tonight."
"A party? It's Wednesday." You snort.
"Yeah, I mean, one of the boys on the Lacrosse team is throwing it at his family house because his parents will be gone. Wanna come? I'll pick you up. We don't have to stay for long." You looked at your watch.
"What time is it at?"
"Like 9ish?" Enough time for you to shower and get a quick dinner in your belly. Why the hell not? You were caught up for the week. You didn't have any pressing assignments that were due asap.
"Sure. I'll come."
"Cool. See you later then?" He says, about to part ways with you. You simply give him a nod before walking deeper into Edgehill village. You hoped you wouldn't regret this tonight, and you really hoped he meant it when he said you two didn't have to stay for long. You drag yourself into your room, seeing Kass' door wide open, revealing her packing up her duffle bag.
"Hey, where are you headed during the middle of the week?"
"My two classes got cancelled for tomorrow so me and Jiminie are heading out for a mini getaway for our anniversary." You cross your arms and smile. "He's just gonna catch up on shit when we get back I guess." She laughs.
"That sounds cute. I hope you have loads of fun this weekend, babe."
"What are you gonna do?" Kass and Jimin were obviously aware of everything happening between you and Jungkook being that they had to be the ones to take you home. They never pressed on it though, knowing you both were still pretty upset about how things were playing out. They figured you two would eventually work it out, but until then, they would just sit back and keep their mouths shut. You two were being completely stubborn, but it wasn't their relationship to fix.
"Well, there's this party Kang wants to take me to tonight."
"The Lacrosse party? Messy." She laughs. "Be careful, but also have fun, yeah? I still don’t know if I trust him.”
"Yeah I know."
"Tell me how it goes!"
"I will." You wave her off as you head into your room and shut the door. You figured you would just grab dinner on campus to avoid spending more money than you should; after all, dinner seemed to be pretty bomb tonight. You didn't mind going alone, sometimes Namjoon would join you, asking for you to bring him a plate of food while he does the hard job of sneaking inside the cafeteria through the back door. He usually waits for you at a free table and ends up staying there to have dinner with you, updating you on how life has been, how school has been. Sometimes Hoseok would join you, too. Either way, you didn't mind if no one joined. It was nice to have dinner by yourself from time to time.
You get there on time to be able to grab some food, eat quietly and head out before the cafeteria gets way too busy for your liking. You slip into the shower and throw on a mini skirt, a crop top and a denim jacket, lightly fluffing your hair in the mirror and adding a dab of lip gloss to your lips before Kang is calling you to tell you he's outside your dorm. He's wearing something similar to your color palette, however, you don't make much out of it since this also wasn't really an exclusive thing and you sure as hell weren't going around telling people you and Kang had a thing going on.
To him, you two might be a thing. You've definitely overheard people talking about you two in passing.
To you though, you two definitely weren't. And it was a big fuck you to Jungkook for that.
The house is packed from end to end already, and you're surprised being that it has barely hit 10 minutes since the party was expected to take off. Kang is having to park down the hill, allowing you to hop onto his back for a quick piggy back ride up until you reach the front of the house. There's people already fucked up out on the lawn [you figured they fucked themselves over during their pre-game session cause that shit really happens from time to time], either laying there drunkily or yacking on a free patch of grass.
Gross.
Messy, indeed.
Some people are posted, smoking blunts and offering it to people who were passing by. You and Kang both pass up on it, the idea of not knowing where it has been not sitting right with you. You both head straight to the bottles, taking shots and downing mixed drinks to chase it with so that you can catch up with majority of the crowd. Kang has his arm around your shoulder throughout the night, keeping you close to him, even when he's getting pretty drunk. You realize he's a little more handsy than usual, a little more touchy than you expected him to be. It doesn't bother you for a minute, until he really tries to hike up your skirt while you sit on his lap. You gently shoo his hand away, playing it off while he nuzzles his head against your neck.
"Let's go upstairs, babe." He says, the pet name sounding incredibly off coming from him. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you really just weren't in the mood. It just didn't sound cute, if that even makes sense?
"Okay." You respond stupidly, not wanting to cause a scene at a lacrosse party. You intertwine your fingers with his as he leads the way up the stairs, eyeing the doors as they come into view. He leans forward towards each door, making sure it's clear before opening it. You assume he finally finds one that he's satisfied with when you catch the small smirk that grows at the corner of his lips when he turns the door knob and brings you inside. He pulls you into a deep, rough kiss, one that doesn't even allow you to breathe and process what the fuck is even going on. You can't get into it for the life of you, no matter how hard you try to back away. "Wait, wait."
"What's wrong, baby? Isn't this what you wanted?" He says, kissing down your neck as he drops his jacket to the floor. He gently pushes you onto the bed, his hands traveling up your skirt as you lay there trying to push him off.
"Wait, stop." He doesn't listen. He continues until his hands are literally hooking onto your panties, his finger swiping down your clothed folds. You try fighting him off, but he's way stronger than you. He continues to be aggressive, forcefully trying to shove your panties down until you muster up all the energy you have to finally push him off of you completely. "Stop!"
"What the fuck? I thought you wanted this?"
"Who the hell said that?"
"Are you serious? The way that you're dressed and the way that you look at me. The way you approached me at your friend's party - isn't it all because of this? Because you wanted me? Why are you backing out now?"
"Jesus, get over yourself." You stand, fixing your skirt back down. He furrows his brows at you before his hand grips your arm tightly, shoving you against the wall.
"The fuck, you can't just leave without giving me anything. I brought you here to this party."
"Let me go! You're fucking sick. No one even told you I wanted this to go down. I don't know who you think you are, but you need to get yourself together and stop assuming every pussy is yours to take." He attempts to pin you, his hand holding up both of your hands against the wall while the other tries to pull up your skirt. Someone accidentally opens the door, distracting him and giving you leverage to shove him off and get the fuck away. You dart down the steps, fixing your skirt as you head outside and away from the house.
Fuck, you're far from campus. And Kass and Jimin aren't around.
God.
You groan and run your hand through your hair as you continue to walk down the hill and into the neighborhood to get as far away as possible from that house and that gross ass dude. He was literally just like the rest of the basketball team. You've heard stories and they weren't nice. Looks like he was trained well already, and that shit was sad. What a waste. A beautiful human being with such a nasty, sick mindset. You hoped other girls hadn't fallen for his shit.
Ugh, it sends shivers down your spine. Bad shivers.
"Hello? Y/N?"
"Kook, can you come pick me up please?"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Where are you?"
"I'll drop my location. Please hurry." You say, looking back to make sure your coast was clear. You drop the pin into your text thread with Jungkook and sit on the curb until his arrival. It's getting pretty chilly out, and the denim jacket you're wearing fails to provide you with the warmth you're looking for. Sooner or later, Jungkook is pulling up, damn near hopping out before he can shift the gear into park.
"You okay? What happened?" He says, opening the door for you before rushing over to the driver's seat.
"Nothing, can we just go back to your place?" He nods silently, and doesn't press any further after hearing your tone. He watches from his peripherals how you fiddle with your fingers and constantly reach to pull your skirt down even though he doesn't think there's any other way you could pull it down even more. He watches as he parks the car on the curb in front of his apartment how you simply undo your seatbelt and hop out to walk straight into his apartment. He watches as you welcome yourself into his closet and pick out some clothes for you to change in.
You were hurt, and his blood boils thinking about who could've done this and what they could have possibly done.
I mean, no. He knows who did this, but the question was what exactly did he try?
He hears the shower turn on, then quickly get turned off after a good 5 minutes. You had stepped in for a quick body shower, using Jungkook's bodywash just to rid yourself of feeling gross. Feeling gross from being shoulder to shoulder all night long, people breathing down your neck. Kang touching you inappropriately. You slip into Jungkook's clothes, his scent wrapping around you entirely. When you head back into the room, Jungkook has his headset back on as he faces his computer, logging back onto his game of League of Legends. You silently toss your dirty clothes to the side of his room, making a mental note to grab it tomorrow morning and toss it straight into the laundry.
Straight into a fire, perhaps. But you loved those clothes so much, it was unfortunate it'd have such a horrible memory to go with it.
Jungkook slowly removes his headset again and removes himself from his game before he heads over and sits on the edge of his bed. You simply look at him, pursing your lips tightly together to prevent yourself from crying.
But he can tell.
"What happened Y/N?" The question triggers you, making you cry into your hands as he sits there, dumbfounded and worried at how he can fix this and make you feel better. "Look, you don't have to tell me all the details but please tell me how I can help. At least tell me if I need to beat Kang's ass." He says, pulling you into his arms.
"He tried to fucking take advantage of me." You mumble as you remove your face from your hands.
"He did what?" He manages to ask even though he has a hard time swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He already assumed you had placed him in the same category as Kang even though he never intended to take advantage of you. He really took that night as something special [even drunk], and he never meant to make you feel like you were a used object. Not like Kang.
"He-he," You sniffed. "He tried to force me into having sex with him. He took me upstairs at that lacrosse guy's party or whoever the hell it even was, and he started to aggressively kiss me. And then he tried to force my panties down and touch me there, and—"
"Okay, please don't go on or else I'll literally go over there and tear his ass apart right now. I promise you." He says sternly, his jaw clenching tightly. "God, fuck. I'm so sorry Y/N. I can't apologize on his behalf but fuck, you didn't deserve that." He uses his sweater to wipe your tears.
"I don't even know why I'm crying, this shit isn't even worth it." You groaned. "It's just overwhelming to process, I guess."
"That's okay." He says, letting out a sigh as he brushes his hand through your hair and continues to wipe the stragglers falling from your eyes. "Anything I can get you right now?"
"No, I'm probably just gonna go to bed." He nods. "Thank you for picking me up."
"Of course. You know I'll always be there." He says. You slip yourself into his sheets, watching as he makes his way back to his desk. But fuck, the only thing you needed right now was him. You didn't want this distance anymore, and you just wanted to be comforted in true Jungkook fashion.
"Wait."
"Hm?" He hums as he has a hand placed on the  head of his chair while he turns to you.
"Can you just lay with me?"
"Yeah." He says, shutting off his computer before making his way over to you in the dark. You feel him slip in next to you, his arm snaking around your shoulders so he can pull you close and onto his chest. "Better?"
"Yeah." You say, shutting your eyes as you listen to his heart beat.
"Y/N."
"Yeah?"
"I never meant to take advantage of you, or make you feel like I used you that one night." Silence. "It was dumb of me, but I just— I had trouble coming to terms with my feelings. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same way, but I thought fuck it, at least you would know, right?"
"What are you talking about, Kook?" You ask, close to a whisper.
"I'm saying that I really fucking like you, Y/N. No, that's not right." He curses himself. "I-I uh, I'm in love with you. And I don't know if I messed this up already with the way I acted, god I hope not, but you at least deserve to know that I truly do value you and that you mean alot to me. That night, even though we were pretty plastered, it meant a lot to me. It was more than just sex and I'm sure you felt that too." He waits for your response as his fingers rake through your hair. "Please say something, anything."
"I feel the same way, Jungkook. You're an idiot for running off, but I couldn't even stay mad at you. You just know how to hit my soft spots and I can never say no to it. Can never turn my back on it." He presses a kiss against the top of your head.
"Fuck, I'm really glad to hear that cause I don't know what I would have done besides cry if you rejected me." You playfully hit his chest.
"You're annoying." You jokingly say as you chuckle.
"I'm sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you."
"It's okay." You look up to press your lips against his before laying back down.
"And Kang better be fucking glad you're pressed against my body right now because I'm still looking to beat his ass."
"He's not even worth it." Is the last thing you say before you find yourself drifting into a deep sleep, in the comfort of Jungkook's arms.
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"You two feeling okay? Nervous?" You and Jungkook shake your heads. "Good, you guys got this. You've been looking amazing during practice, the audience will love you two, no doubt. Just remember to show emotions through expressions and hit every beat sharply." Hoseok nods in unison with the both of you.
"Got it, thanks Hobi." You smile at him toothlessly. You and Jungkook patiently waited for your turn backstage, the talent show already off to a wild and fun start. So many students came by to showcase their talents - from beatboxing, open mic, freestyling [like Yoongi did], dancing, singing, you name it. It was always a fun time at the talent show, and it was always nice to see people getting love for the shit they loved to do.
"You're up next." Hoseok says. "I'll be in the front row. Kick ass and have fun!" He says as he rushes off towards the opposite end to head back out to his seat in the theater.
"Ready?" Jungkook holds out his hand for you to take.
"I think so." You playfully respond as the backstage crew is rushing out the previous talent and rushing you two in to take your places on stage. The lights pick up as soon as the music starts, Kang's big ass head already in full view for you. He's definitely not smiling, no, he has a look of pure disgust because he simply couldn't get what he wanted from you.
And boy, who's fault was that? Not yours, no sir. It was his fault for thinking he had it like that.
But anyways, you're feeling the music, you're feeling the piece because you're dancing with your bestfriend and there wasn't this grey area anymore. It was easier to get into the motions, to get into the feeling, especially when things felt right between the two of you.
And God, what else is more attractive than Jeon Jungkook hitting his 8 counts so smoothly, with just enough umph to make it pop but make it pop cleanly.
Yo, please. I beg. Send some help. You could literally melt on stage.
The moments where Jungkook has to be close to you, where he has to touch you - you let him, and you touch him with meaning. You don't stray away this time because you have no reason to. The crowd is cheering, lots of 'ou's' and 'aw's' erupting from various places in the theater.
"Pretty lady." Jungkook whispers in your ear as the move requires his hands to be placed on your hips for a quick moment. You hear him slightly singing along to the song as he parts from you, causing you to blush.
Sooner or later, the couple piece is over and the song is transitioning to Jimin's piece, you and Jungkook rushing off the stage so the next group can take their positions. Jimin wanted to test his limits, creating a piece a little different than his usual taste - Chris Brown's Came to Do begins blaring through the theater speakers. You immediately jump into Jungkook's arms once you both reach backstage, the both of you immensely happy and pumped that you got through the piece without messing up one step or beat. It went so smoothly that Hoseok was standing in the front row, clapping and cheering in typical Hoseok fashion. You intertwine your fingers with his, slipping through the side door to catch Jimin's piece on stage. You and Jungkook are cheering them on, always impressed by the shit your friends can come up with. You both loved dancing, but you couldn't even imagine coming up with your own pieces to teach people.
That night after the show, everyone heads to a nearby restaurant for dinner with everyone. You all take up almost an entire section of the restaurant, splitting two long tables to accommodate the entire group with doubled the waitresses to take your orders. You settle for water, splitting an abnormally huge and filled deep dish pizza with Jimin, Kass and Jungkook. It was a good day, a good night, everyone at the table happily eating and chatting it up over dinner. You turn down any drinks because to be honest, drinks lowkey make you queasy just from the thought of how much you drank at Jungkook's apartment, plus the added bonus of that party Kang took you to. Jungkook declines as well, knowing he has to drive you back safely.
Jimin and Kass head back to the apartment because Yoongi says he's gonna hang out with Joon And Hoseok for a bit, and they warn you and Jungkook that things may get loud so the both of you decide to really stick to the plan of bringing you back to the dorm. Jungkook does his usual routine of dropping you off first before finding parking around campus. You hop in the shower and come out in Jungkook's oversized crewneck that he left in your closet, forgoing the shorts because you certainly thing that at this point, he'd love to see you in his sweater and panties.
And he does. He smiles as he pulls you close, his hands traveling up your sweater, only to find out that you literally don't have shit on besides some cute little boyshorts. He feels himself hardening in his pants quick because he's incredibly attracted to you and everything about you, always has been, always will be.
"You did amazing tonight." He says, gently kissing your forehead.
"You did too, partner." He gives you a slightly shocked look.
"Is that all I am to you? Your dance partner?"
"Yeah, why? Were you expecting more?" You joke as you smile up at him.
"Yeah, I was."
"Oh?" He gently swoops you up into his arms, your legs wrapped tightly around his torso as he sits you on the bed, his hands resting on your thighs while you continued to hold him around the neck. "Care to tell me what you were expecting?"
"Well, you know, my best friend—" He presses a kiss against your lips, thumbs gently rubbing circles against your hips. "My girlfriend."
"Hm, say that again?" Your fingers are gently playing with the ends of his hair, your lips barely grazing his.
"My girlfriend." He says closed to a whisper, kissing you softly. The kiss deepens quick, Jungkook's tongue lining your bottom lip as his way of asking for permission to take it further. You gladly take it and let him in, your tongues instantly fighting for dominance. Your fingers travel up his hair, tugging ever so slightly just to let him know you want more. That you need more.
And he gets that.
His fingers hook onto the band of your boyshorts, tugging them down and letting them fall down your legs and onto the floor. He breaks the kiss momentarily, his brown, puppy dog eyes looking straight into yours.
"Hey." He says, brushing the hair out of your face.
"Hm?"
"I know I said the last time was special, and it was. It is." He corrects himself. "But, I wanna do right by you this time around. So, is it okay if I keep going? Are you comfortable?" He asks properly, since the two of you are both sober and perfectly coherent, aware of your surroundings and the fact that you'll be seeing each other fully naked in a few minutes.
"Yes." You respond. "Yes, I want you to keep going. I want you. This." He simply nods, bringing his lips back onto yours. His hands climb up your sweater and gently gives your breasts a good squeeze, earning a small moan from the both of you. His other hand begins to travel down to your pussy, two long fingers slowly probing your entrance and causing your breathing to hitch.
"You okay?" He asks lowly. You nod, biting onto your bottom lip as you tilt your head back and rest on your hands, no longer able to keep up with the kiss due to all the pleasure starting to pile up deep in your core. Jungkook starts of slow, his head now buried into the crook of your neck as he works his digits upward, tickling at the right spot.
"Ohhhh, Kook." You mewl as his tongue swipes across the surface of your neck, biting gently beneath your jaw. He begins to pick up the pace, the sounds of him finger fucking you filling up the room entirely.
"Fuck, you're so wet baby." He groans into your neck.
"I'm gonna cum." You whine, teeth almost piercing through your bottom lip in between your whimpers.
"Need to taste you." He removes his fingers and sinks down in between your thighs, gripping onto them and pulling you just a teensy bit more off the edge of the bed so he can get a good angle. The sight of his eyes looking up at you in between your legs is to die for, and the sight alone is enough to make you cum. But, you hold on, you ride out for a little longer - feeling Jungkook's tongue swipe in and out of your folds before he's sucking endlessly on your clit.
"Ahhh, fuck, wait, Jungkook!" He slightly smiles while eating you out, signaling that he's not stopping even if you beg him to. "Hnnng—shit!" You moan loudly as you feel yourself toppling over the edge, your body shaking in Jungkook's grip. You twitch every time he continues to suck gently on your sensitive nub, letting you ride out the rest of your high. He comes back up to your lips, the taste of your own cum lingering on it as you kiss him deeply.
"You taste so good." He says, back to twirling your nipples in between his fingers.
"Wanna feel you." You fiddle with his jeans, undoing his belt and sliding the rest down as much as you could. Jungkook gets out of his shirt and tosses it aside before helping get the sweater above your head. His eyes glow at the sight of your bare body in front of him, wanting to do nothing but please you and please you well.
"God, you're so perfect." He places kisses down your collarbone, to the surface of your breasts before quickly swirling his tongue around your perked buds. You moan as you tug down onto his boxer briefs, immediately stroking his hardened member while he tended to you. Jungkook was a fucking beauty himself - his soft hair, his perfectly toned body, his long 'thick in all the right places' dick.
"Please." You plead. "I want you inside of me." You whimper, causing Jungkook's breathing to hitch when you slightly tighten your grip at the base of his shaft. He gently pushes your hand aside to take over, lining himself up at your entrance. He inserts the tip, watching your eyes roll to the back of the head as he slowly sinks into you.
"Mmmmmgod." He moans. "So tight for me, baby. So fucking wet and tight." He repeats, close to a growl. Your moaning begins to pick up, matching the pace of his thrusting. You're still on the edge of the bed, Jungkook keeping you steady by gripping your thighs tightly. He marvels at the sight of your titties bouncing up and down with every thrust, hissing and shutting his eyes momentarily to keep himself grounded and to prevent himself from coming too quickly. Cause god, he can literally blow any second now.
"Jungggggkooook, yessssss!" You moan loudly, whining even at this point with how good he feels fucking into you at such a fast pace. You're feeling slightly sore already from him hammering into you, but nonetheless, it builds more pleasure for you and you want nothing but to reach your high again. "I-I'm coming!" Jungkook moans in unison with you when he feels your walls pulsating against his cock.
"Such a good girl for me." He says, slowing his pace. The creamy sounds of Jungkook's cock slipping inside and out is music to the both of your ears. He finally gains the courage to remove himself, sitting next to your spot on the edge of the bed and pulling you onto his lap. You swing a leg over, your hands resting on the nape of his neck while you sink yourself lower onto his length. Your mouth opens to let out a moan, but the best you can do is let out a hiss. It feels too fucking good that you can't even process it thoroughly. Jungkook pushes your lips down onto his by grabbing your neck, his other hand guiding the movement of your hips as you roll into him.
"Mmmggg—Jungkook." You whimper in between kisses. "You feel so fucking good, god. You're gonna make me cum again."
"Yeah, cum for me. Cum all over me. It's yours." He grunts, his hands guiding you to work him faster. Your movements are getting sloppier, and you feel your wetness starting to coat his pelvis. He doesn't give a fuck though, and neither do you. This shit feels too good for you to worry about the mess you're making on him.
"Cum with me please." He moans at the sound of you whispering into his ear.
"Faster, baby." He says, almost making you cry at how awfully close you are to unraveling. You tug onto his hair, your head buried deep into his neck as you try and suck onto the surface, trying to find an outlet, some kind of release, until you let go. You suck harshly as you coat his cock with your cum, leaving a purple mark right at the base of his neck. You continue to ride out your high, rolling your hips sloppily as Jungkook finally lets himself go, his moan bouncing off of your walls as his seed fills you up warmly.
You stay in your position, slowly raising your head to cup his cheeks and kiss him deeply once more.
"Fuck, I love you." He says slightly pulling away.
"I love you too." You giggle.
"Didn't actually need any drinks to do this now, did we?" Jungkook jokes, softly pinching your hip.
"Shut up."
"Damn, you both couldn't even at least try to be quiet?!" Jimin yells from outside the door.
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vanillann · 3 years
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the 1994 battle of the performers (luke patterson x f.reader)
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i might make this a series if yall are interested!! i would write the rest in the readers p.o.v. this would just be a prologue, lmk!!
word count: 2.9k
the 1994 battle of the performers masterlist
Prologue
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“Look what I found on the bulletin board!”
Alex looked around his locker, Luke's smiling face next to a piece of paper held tightly in his grip. He closed his locker and pulled the paper out of Luke’s hands, reading over the word.
Battle of the Performers
December 12th, 1994
The Charles Theatre
“What’s this?”
“This, my friend, is our first live gig,” Luke tapped the top of the page.
“A gig?”
Alex and Luke looked up once they heard Reggie’s voice sound from beside them.
“Yep, it's local but it’s something.”
Luke was over the moon about the plan, I mean come on a gig, that’s all that matters, to say the least.
“Perfect timing, my vintage leather jacket just came in,” Reggie nodded his head, just as happy about the news of the gig.
“Hey,” Bobby came up behind Alex, giving him a small pat on the shoulder and waving at the other guys. He looked over Alex's shoulder, reading over the words just as Alex did seconds ago.
“Are we gonna enter?”
“Yes,” Luke was fast to answer, bouncing on his toes at the idea of finally sharing their music with the world. Alex was about to open his mouth to say something about the paper but the sound of the hall going quite caught his attention.
(Y/N) (L/N) held her bag close to her shoulder, smiling at a few people that passed. The once confident girl seemed out of her element as she made her way to her locker.
“I didn’t know she was out of physical therapy yet?” Bobby muttered quietly to the rest of the group. Their eyes trained on the girl as she smiled when others did and accept the sad apologies.
“Did you hear they kicked her from the dance team?” Reggie spoke, overhearing the conversation from his history class yesterday.
Each boy in Sunset Curve felt horrible for the dancer, after the incident with her ACL and her long recovery. They all had just as much of a dream as she did and they’d be wrecked if they lost it all.
As the girl made it closer to the group Luke adjusted himself in front of her, giving a sympathetic smile.
“Hey (Y/N),” his voice was soft, looking around the halls at all the people that watched the two. A quick glare and half the heads in the hall were back to their original conversation.
“Patterson?”
“Just wanted to apologize, you know-”
“It’s fine, wasn’t anyone's fault,” his heart was ripping out as the girl passed him and moved around him. Her head hung low and broken and she opened her locker and rummaged through it. Luke said nothing, moving back with his little group as his eyes watched her a little longer before turning back.
“So the gig?”
“We can’t enter,” Alex closed his own locker, moving the paper for Luke’s eyes. He pointed to the requirements that were printed at the bottom of the page.
MUST HAVE A DANCE NUMBER WITH LIVE PERFORMANCE
“What,” Luke ripped the paper, holding it between his fingers as he read over the words while Bobby helped guide him throughout the halls.
“They can’t do this!”
“They can, it’s their battle,” Alex commented, giving his friend a sympathetic smile. He could tell how excited he was about the idea of a gig, just for it to be ruined by their underprepared band.
Luke sighed, waving Reggie and Bobby bye and they made their way to English and Luke and Alex had Gym.
“This is trash,” Luke pouted as he made his way into the locker room, Alex luckily paying attention to the both of them and held Luke’s gym bag in his hand.
“We’ll find a different gig,” Alex clapped his friends on the shoulder, finding a stall and quickly dipping in before someone else found it. Luke didn’t care enough in the moment to find his own, easily taking off his “school approved” shirt his mother made him wear into his muscle tee.
“Yeah, but this one would’ve shown all of our parents, mine and yours, maybe even Reggie’s,” Luke’s shoulders dropped at that fact. He just wanted Reggie's parents to stop fighting all the time, Alex’s parents get over their old age ways, and his own parents to just understand it’s going to work.
Alex frowned at the thought, knowing everyone had their own reason past the love for music and why they needed a gig.
“She’ll never make it back on the dance team, they’ll have to have try-outs,” a group of “shit-heads” as Bobby would call them came into the locker room. Alex and Luke knew they were talking about (Y/N), which pissed them off and how funny they found the poor girl's pain.
But something else was rattling in Luke’s brain.
Try-outs.
“Alex,” Luke’s infectious smile was back as he grabbed the top of the stall Alex was in, pushing himself up and holding himself there as he watched his friend with a goofy laugh.Alex fell backwards, looking up at Luke with his gym shorts barely on all the way.
“We hold try-outs for the dancers, get our own dance team.”
Alex shook his head, standing back up and pulling the pants up all the way while looking up at his friend.
“We don’t know anything about dance, plus who would try-out for our band,” Alex opened the door of the stall, Luke still keeping his grip and the door swung back.
“The dance team is super picky, anyone not on it will take any opportunity they can get,” Luke jumped down, finally moving to his bag to change into his own gym shorts.
“I don’t know Luke.”
It wasn’t the wrose plan, Alex could agree on that but realistically it would be hard and while they did have time with it being September and all it wasn’t going to be easy to make the whole thing come to life.
Sunset Curve’s music at the moment was good for head bumping but a serious dance routine would take some work from everyone.
“Let’s ask Reggie and Bobby before we decide?”
Alex watched Luke bite his lip and give his best puppy dog eyes.
“I can work with that.”
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“I dig it,” Reggie gave a goofy smile and bit into the apple that he was just attempting to juggle seconds ago. Luke jumped in his seat, smiling widely as 1/2 of the group had said they liked the idea.
“What inspired this idea?” Bobby asked, shrugging as he stole a chip from Alex bag, which caused Alex to roll his eyes.
Luke simply turned around, doing his best to hide the fact he was watching (Y/N) as she looked to be in a heated discussion with the dance team captain, Megan Ray, who looked broken about the discussion but standing her ground.
“Someone mentioned they’d have to replace her with try-outs in the locker room,” Luke muttered, watching as the girl jabbed her finger into the table. most likely trying to make her way back on the team.
“I feel so bad for her,” Bobby muttered, trying to imagine a world where he couldn’t rock out with his friends because of a freak accident.
“Me too, she’s really smart too. Basically saved me in Chemistry last year,” Reggie looked away from the girl, someone he’d considered a good person hurting so bad for something no one could fix.
Once the girl stood up from the chair, trying her best not to draw too many eyes, was when Luke went back to the plan.
“It’ll work like a dream,” Luke muttered, already pulling a piece of paper out with his chick scratch and a sad worked out calendar.
“How do you read that?”
Luke stood up and smacked Alex with the paper, easily going back to the plan.
“I talked to Coach Edison and he said the Gym is free this Friday, plenty of time to get the word out,” Luke smiled at the easily done, but still done, the research he had done.
“What will we make them dance to?”
“Now or Never,” Luke spoke with a shrug.
“Sounds well thought out,” Reggie spoke absentmindedly, trying to remember a thought he just had but lost.
“Come on, we gotta show everyone who doubts us we mean something.”
Luke didn’t know if it was that sentence that struck a chord with them but they all seemed to slowly feed into Luke’s words more after that.
“Peter?”
Reggie turned at the call of his last name, smiling once he saw (Y/N) standing behind him at the table.
“(Y/N)!”
Reggie's smile was contagious as he smiled up at the girl, doing his best to avoid talking about the leg injury, he knew if something happened to his finger and he couldn’t play bass again he wouldn’t want to talk about it.
“Do you have the notes of Henderson’s class? He’s making me take all the quizzes I missed this Friday after school,” she muttered, nodding her head to the other boys as they watched her.
“That sucks, I can give them to you last period.” She gave a quick smile as a thank you, smiling to the other boys before heading back to the table she sat at before with a few other girls they had seen her around the halls with.
“Can’t believe Henderson would be that harsh,” Bobby shivered as if scared at the thought of taking that many quizzes in one sitting.
“He hates anyone who doesn’t do classic field, probably blames her for the fall,” Reggie muttered, finally making it to the core of his apple.
“What! It wasn’t her fault,” Luke jumped in, trying his best to keep his voice down.
“We don’t think that, now chill,” Alex waved at the few girls that had looked their way at the outburst.
Once everything died down, Alex and Bobby both nodded to one another, then looking at Luke.
“This Friday it is.”
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“This is going horrible,” Reggie whispered to Luke at the girl before they tried to dramatically do a split but ending up awkwardly crawling on the floor.
“Thank you Sara, we’ll get back with you,” Luke spoke as soon as the music stopped, reaching over to press stop on the crappy camera they found deep in Bobby’s studios yesterday.
Luke’s finger slipped and he was too worked up to try and find the button so he simply left the camera one, waving as Sara skipped out from the gym.
“We’ll at least she didn’t puke,” Bobby muttered, still in shock and how easily the one boy had his entire lunch on the gym floor.
“That was a nice touch.”
Luke stood up, slowly walking around the table to stand in front of his other friends.
“This is going horribly! Where are the dancers in this place?”
“Probably on the dance team,” Alex spoke up, smiling sarcastically at Luke.
“How about we go to the vending machine,” Reggie jumped up, easily diffusing the tension from the room as the rest agreed a snack would be nice.
They all made their way from the room, all talking about the different dancers and who they thought might be best.
“Maddie was good, but she couldn’t choreograph an entire team,” Bobby waited as Reggie looked over the different options in the machine.
“I didn’t even think about that,” Luke sighed, slowly becoming more and more annoyed with this whole idea.
“Look-”
Alex was cut off when he heard the faint sound of guitar and drums echoing the halls of the old sad school.
“Does anyone else hear that?”
“What? Reggie’s head turning as he chose between M&M or Hershey's,” Luke felt back, laying on one of the tables in the cafeteria.
“Hey!”
Alex rolled his eyes, following the sound of the music, hearing his own beat and Luke’s voice sing from the gymnasium. He walked slowly, stopping at the double door, looking through the tempered glass at the figure in the room. He heard his friends run from the gym, meeting his side as they all looked in the gym at the same sight.
(Y/N) glided across the floor, her hands held on both sides of her head as she easily slid across the floor in her sweat pants. She moved from that to a split, easily jumping up from that and doing small little kicks to the beat of the music.
“Wow,” Luke watched as the girl threw her head back, eyes closed as she took in the music that the boys knew by heart at this point.
She clapped along with the music, looking as alive with the music as the boys did when they played. Once the beat dropped the girl attempted to spin out, catching her leg the wrong way sending her to the floor.
“Oh no,” Reggie and Alex didn’t waste any time before pushing the double doors open and running to the groaning girls side. Luke and Bobby were hot on their trail, sliding as they all huddled around her.
“Are- are you okay?”
She sat up slightly, holding her knee to her chest with her face showing obviously pain.
“I’m fine- Uhm, does anyone have water?”
Luke didn’t waste time reaching to the “judge” table and taking his own water from the table. He turned back and handed it to her, looking at her with panic in his eye.
“Thank you,” she let out a shaky breath, letting herself calm down while twisting the cap open.
“You really are an amazing dancer,” Bobby commented, thinking now the panic was gone would be a nice time to mention it.
“I was,” she spoke as she looked to her feet, watching her beat up tennis shoes with a clenched jaw.
“Uhm actually he means present tense,” Luke laughed, like the situation was funny. I mean he just watched her glide and smile all with her eyes closed.
She wasn’t even scared of being bad, she knew she was that good.
“Did you miss the fall?”
He knew the attitude wasn’t at him, he knew she had a right to be angry about her whole world changing.
“You were great before the fall,” Reggie spoke in a soft voice, hurt about watching her without permission.
“No, I was better before.” She looked up, taking in the room when her eyes stopped on the video camera that was flashing red light.
“Is that recording?”
Luke looked at the camera, jumping up and stopping the recording. He un- screwed in from the tripod and made his way over to her.
“Watch it,” he held out the video to her but she simply pushed it away.
“No thanks, just delete it,” Luke was shocked, to say the least. She could still dance, like really dance, and she was throwing it away.
“You’re just scared,” he challenged the girl, earning a harsh “Luke” from Alex, warning him not to touch that topic with a ten-foot pole.
“You’d be scared if you went through what I went through,” she spoke hurtfully, righting to say.
Luke thought everything over, he didn’t know much about the injury but that it was a torn muscle in the knee and that was the end of it. But something that tears can technically heal, he just didn’t know how that worked exactly, he hated science class.
“She has a point,” Bobby smiled at the girl, doing his best not to say the wrong thing.
“Well, face your fear!”
“Look what happened when I did,” she motioned for someone to help her up, Reggie giving his shoulder and helping her stand slightly. Her body was obviously still in shock and she was slowly taking his arm.
“We can help you! Join us on the Battle of the Performers,” Luke knew it might come off selfish, but he really wanted to help her fight her fears face first. It must suck not doing what you love, but she had a chance so why not take it?
“Do you know how hard that is to win?” She thought it was funny to say the least. The band was good, she wouldn’t be shocked if she heard them on the radio in a few years with some famous award, but people just as new and good to the scene would come from far and wide for a chance at this competition.
Plus, if they really wanted to win they’d find a dancer who wasn’t broken.
“You’ll find someone better,” she nodded to Reggie and let her leg finally work properly again, thankful she would add.
“Nobody we’ve seen is like you!” He was so close to her face, giving his puppy dog eyes like he would with the others, always getting what he wanted then.
“I’m sorry, but no. Have fun with the scouting.”
She nodded at each boy, slowly making herself excused from the now tender room as Luke felt his dreams walk away.
“She has a right to be scared,” Alex spoke, trying his best to see both sides.
“Yeah, but she needed to punch fear like she wanted to punch the dance team captain,” Luke pouted, looking at the girl who left without another look. He was hoping she’d come back like in those horrible 80′s rom-coms Alex watched so much, but she never came back.
He held the camera in his hand, looking at the tape that sat paused. Her face looked almost scared as she stepped in the gym.
“We’ll find someone Luke,” Bobby set a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder.
“Yeah, but we could have had her.”
so, should i make this a series??
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neonjawbone · 3 years
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Do you have any advice on networking in the comics/graphic novel world?
My advice is just to earnestly use common sense when interacting with people. It’s kind of hard to make a bullet point list or anything that doesn't amount to like
-Make Friends/Meet Peers in the Comics Field
-Work Hard and Consistently
-Seize Opportunities (Be in the Right Place at the Right Time/Get Lucky)
I can’t tell you how to make friends or meet peers. In my experience it’s been a lot of “I followed them on X social media site and for some godforsaken reason they followed me back”. But I CAN give you some advice on the latter two points. Under the cut because I wrote a lot.
“-Work Hard and Consistently”
Make the stuff you want to make, in your free time with whatever energy you have. If you wanna make comics you have to MAKE COMICS. Make little 3-5 page comics for practice, eventually beefing that up to 10-15 pages. OR Come up with a webcomic idea you’re passionate about and make it! I think the important thing is that 1) if you want to make comics you’re going to have to make comics and 2) that you draw what you like! What kind of stories/styles/characters do you wanna see? Remember when I said up there that:
“I followed them on X social media site and for some godforsaken reason they followed me back”.
I pretended I didn’t know why people followed me, this was a RUSE. I mean I can’t say for sure, but I can guess people saw I was making characters and comics and was very passionate about that and decided to follow me back!! This ties into the next point:
“-Seize Opportunities (Be in the Right Place at the Right Time/Get Lucky)”
Use all that work you’re passionate about, your favorite pages of your webcomic, those sketches you made working out how to design your characters, those cool emo illustrations of your dnd character, and build a little portfolio site! Mine is just a tumblr, with a theme that clearly displays a lot of my work, nothing fancy. (I go through and try to clear out old work and add new work every couple of months or so.) THAT WAY- when you see a tweet or a post from one of those fellow comics people you followed that says like:
-PAID COMICS GIG, EMAIL ME @ ADDRESS
You have a bounty of work to show them. Work that you’re passionate about and that shows what you wanna do and that you wanna make MORE.
“Well how did YOU do it, tumblr famous artist NeonJawbone?”
I dunno about that I’ve got less than 9k followers on here ha ha. Two of the things that I KNOW got me the current paid job I’m working on (The Pirate and the Porcelain Girl written by Emily Riesbeck, lettered by Lucas Gattoni, drawn by ME out Fall 2022) is that I had 
-250 pages of my webcomic Paradise
-drawings on my portfolio that were just some sketches of my character Sid
And the reason I found out about this project in the first place is that a comics friend of mine retweeted Emily’s original “Looking for an artist to draw a comic about beefy orc women, PAID” tweet.
Now I only had that work available because I had worked on my own stuff consistently and for free, on my own time, for a couple of years. (A lot of professors and visiting artists that came to my college used to say jobs start coming in about 5 years post-grad, and thats IF you’re creating and putting yourself out there consistently.) 
I had other things that I did for work to pay the bills, and I also had a LOT of people in my life who were able to support me (financially, emotionally, whatever). My conditions were just right, I was able to work on my own stuff whenever I had a spare moment, and now I’m making comics for money, and I have an agent, and it FEELS like a lot of hard work is paying off!! And it is!! But I would be remiss not to count that I was also very lucky. And hopefully this continues!! But I’ve also had enough bad luck that I’m gonna be holding my breath until I can see that debut book on the shelf at a Barnes n Noble or whatever, and I’m spending my free time NOW working feverishly on stuff that I can pitch once this job is winding down, so that hopefully I can line the next job up as soon as possible.
Now what?
I dunno!! I hope this was helpful. Comics are hard, you have to love them more than they love you, but eventually maybe you’ll be able to try and make them for money. Good luck to you!!
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eirasummers · 3 years
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Dear Anon,
I decided to answer this with a screenshot because I didn't want anyone to actually be able to click that link. I will summarize for everyone else who might read this what it says:
The op of that post is demanding another person to hurry up with their requests, because they've been active on Tumblr but not answering asks. They are also threathening them with their friends going to spam them if they don't.
First of all, if a person online is offering free requests or otherwise any kind of content that they make and is not paid in any way, then they're not obligated to either do it fast, do it exactly in the way requested or even do it at all. I would say "pay them if you want quicker content" but it's not even that easy. Those artists (they can either write, draw, anything) are persons. They have lives, they have problems and they have things that are easier for them to make than others. You do not know of their situation so you cannot demand they do something fast for you. SPECIALLY if you aren't paying them and have no actual contract or agreement with them.
Secondly, if you want content of any kind and that one content creator is not providing it, you never should go and try and rush them. Specially not in a "call out". What that's most likely to do, is make them even more stressed or make them want to do it less. Pressure is often not the best motivator, specially if it's something you do for fun and for free. If you truly want more content you have 2 options:
Go and send them loving and supportive asks. Tell them how you miss seeing their content lately and how happy it makes you. Often positive reinforcement will make people want to create more content because it makes it "an enjoyable experience for them" and they want love and support, like everyone else. This doesn't mean it's gonna work a 100%, but it will surely work way better than harrassing them with hate or call outs.
You can find another content creator who's active right now, go send them ask, send them some love and get your content that way. And once the original one that went on hiatus comes back, you might go and request them again or not, that's your own choice.
And lastly, doing a call out post is really awful in my opinion, specially for something like this. But someone who goes around sending anon asks to spread out said call outs and cause even more hate is even worse. I cannot believe you think this is something that's "right" to do, because if you did, you would not say it in anon. You are ashamed of that behaviour but still want people to sympathise with your cause, even when you know most people would not think favorably of you after doing it.
I do not know and I do not care if you, Anon, are the same person who did the original post. Either way, I think you should reconsider how you view "fan creators", specially ones who do it for free and, as you well said, are amateurs. And if you believe that I am being rude or I am part of the issue? I kindly ask you to block me and never interact with me again. If you do reconsider and think I might be right in some way, then maybe do some actions to help that poor user instead of attacking it anymore.
That is all, I hope you have a nice day. P.D.: If you are that called out tumblr, I will not say your name as to not make it worse for you unintentionally, please know that even if I do not know you, I wish you to be well and happy. And you should never feel pressured to do stuff for free, just do it at your own pace and for as long as it makes you happy. I hope you have a nice day as well <3
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baconpal · 3 years
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talkin bout fuckig manga
hey it’s me, haven’t had internet for over a week and i’ve been sick and uni and blah blah blah time for a rant about manga
this time its about  "Soredemo Machi wa Mawatteiru", tl;dr, good manga read it idk
lots of bullshit below the cut
Before anything I say gets too confusing or I go off on an insane tangent, just know my recommendation is that you read "Soredemo Machi wa Mawatteiru". It's not very easy to find online since it has an official English release (which my recommendation extends far enough to suggest I might pick up in the future, just to have it, but I am very stingy), but there's an alright torrent of all the volumes on your local anime torrenting website, and is at the very least worth the trouble of reading as such. There is also an anime that gets better as it goes, but the manga is my primary recommendation. Beyond this point I'm not gonna give much regard to what I write, so get ready for anything, read the manga and see if you agree with me, or don't and see if I care:
BOUT THE ANIME: The SoreMachi anime is one of those rare comedy anime you find where the animation and overall production is just really extra the entire time. Hopefully you know what I mean because I won't really be able to explain it any other way, it's simply one of those shows where the jokes are decent and it's a fun time for the most part. Unfortunately, the anime makes a couple of critical missteps that kept me from getting far into it when I first tried watching it about a year ago, and in retrospect seem even less reasonable.
Starting with the good, as an adaptation it does a good job with most chapters it covers, it properly sources where each chapter comes from incase you intend to read the manga and skip around to catch up, and the anime adapts some sections to have additional jokes that fit very naturally in to the story. It also covers up some of those problems only manga can have like having a concert segment without any actual music involved, until they invent mp3-paper it's just something we'll have to live with. Translation work was pretty good (I watched the [WhyNot] release for those who care), which is extra important for something as difficult to translate as jokes from another language. The set of episodes they chose to end on was very good, and was expanded to be a lot more impactful in the anime. If it wasn't for the last episode being as strong as it was I may have given up on finding the manga when I saw it wasn't super easy to read online.
As for what the anime fails in, some episodes feature some really blatant over-acting that doesn't really help make characters believable, and there's this obnoxious gag that continues the whole where through where most scenes have a few seconds long line from what is essentially a forced mascot character, which usually mean nothing and only serve to harm the pacing of many episodes (there isn't even any sort of equivalent bit in the manga so I really don't know why they did it, most of the anime original jokes are pretty good so I just really don't get it). The biggest issue the anime faces is that the source material is about 140 chapters, while the anime is only able to cover 24 chapters. This comes with a LOT of problems, the first being what I'd call the "required reading". SoreMachi is not a 1-note simple comedy where you can skip to any chapter and be completely okay; There are many small but meaningful subplots lying beneath, and characters have a fair bit of development throughout. What this means for the anime is that the first 3-4 episodes are just the first few chapters of the manga, which are a bit rough and not as good as the majority of the work, which is true of a lot of comics (god fuck I promise there will be more than a first chapter of my comic I promise it'll get better fuck). In terms of the anime by itself, I'd say episode 1 is decent, 2 is middling, and by 3/4 their still taking a while to introduce members of the cast, and I didn't immediately want to finish it. I put the show down for a long time until my internet started dying and I wanted to watch something fun. Slapping it back on at episode 5 I immediately had a great time and watched the rest of the show pretty soon after. While I understand the reasoning behind doing this, the anime does not pay off this structure, as beyond the first few episodes, the chapters start being presented out of release order and out of chronological order, kind of destroying any consistent throughline. This decision in and of itself isn't the worst, since the comic isn't always chronological, and the volume ordering is a bit different from the release ordering, but the inconsistency makes the first few episodes feel lessened without reason. The other large failure that comes with only animating about 1/7th of the entire work is that many themes and concepts that are core to the manga are not represented in the anime well at all. One of the biggest is the rare but unnerving supernatural chapters, of which only one is animated, and not a particularly good one. In order to talk about these themes I'll have to transition into talking about the manga itself, since they aren't part of the anime.
DA MANGA: So one last recommendation that you read the manga, the whole damn thing. Cus we're gettin into themes and character moments that take a long time to pay off, and obviously is all part of my interpretations, so if that stuff means anything to you don't let me ruin it for ya.
The title of the manga is, in essence, the entire manga's "punchline" in that every chapter could meaningfully end with simply the text "And yet the town still turns..." (My translation of the title, fuck "And yet, the town revolves" or "But the town moves"); by this I mean most chapters end in an anti-climax where a mystery is left unsolved, or a mystery is solved and undercut by the realization that life simply keeps on going without much change. This is used to essentially force your eyes open to all possibilities when reading, as the main character spends her time acting like a detective, and these mysteries end up as either misunderstandings, secrets, riddles, and sometimes something out of the ordinary happens that makes you unable to pin anything down firmly. Similarly, these endings aren't always read-and-forget scenarios. Several chapters come back in the form of a continued joke, a continued mystery, or contribute to some greater purpose later. Readers are properly rewarded for keeping everything they can in mind, while also tormenting such people with loose ends.
I enjoy Hotori as a protagonist due to her character being defined not in flaws and strengths, but in mindedness. Hotori seems like a simple "haha she's dumb" character to start, but consistently throughout she proves that her strengths are in memory, observation, and deduction, while lacking in some more common sense and abilities. Her brain works in strange ways that some people may or may not understand, such as her need to think through even the most trivial fictional scenarios, which I relate to deeply.
The art and paneling throughout are wonderful. Ishiguro Masakazu is one of those artists who draws very simple characters, but knows how to use details and depth to breath so much life into the artwork. He also clearly uses the occasional supernatural happenings as an excuse to draw what he loved, as all sorts of artistic depictions of the supernatural come out that simply look satisfying. These parts obviously meant a lot to him since he's been working on a primarily mystery-action manga that has a lot more of that stuff in it. (Also, as hindsight is 20/20, if you've read any of his new work you'll notice that the main character of it is eerily similar to a character who shows up very late in SoreMachi that the author obviously fell in love with, cus she just keeps coming back and even ends up with a really unsettling end to her character arc despite only being introduced as a component in a harmless mystery. Feel free to call me out for the same shit 30 years from now when I'll probably do the same shit)
I'd like to get into some of the major themes of this work, as a lot of them hit very close to my mind (which I guess is true of any theme you recognize for yourself, you wouldn't really "get it" if it didn't mean something to you...).
The simplest theme, again, comes from the title. The main character, Hotori, expresses a desire that the town she lives in continues going on, unchanged forever. This is obviously a fear of change, which ya know, same, but also an exploration of what it means to fear change. Hotori actively tries to keep businesses from closing down, keep friends from leaving, and keep relationships from changing, while simultaneously making all sorts of new relationships and solving mysteries. Hotori even comes to realize that simply learning the truth about something changes the world through your own perspective, and that such changes can't be undone. In spite of this, Hotori mostly gets her wish, any time she fears that a large change will impact the town, its resolved about the same as any other issue. Whether its a message that even time can't keep you from your loved ones and that change isn't worth fearing, or a concession that large changes to the setting would be a bad idea in terms of humor, I can't really decide. This theme reaches it's conclusion in what is one in a series of "ending" kinda chapters at the end of the series. Hotori is faced with a supernatural ethical situation, save her town from destruction at the cost of her existence, or live through the disaster, knowing her town and the people in it will forever be changed. While the actual result is that nobody disappears and nothing is lost, and the event may have simply been a strange dream, Hotori confidently decides that sparing the people in her town from a life altering event is worth giving up her memories with them. A kind of bold spit-in-the-face to the idea that change is okay, where we find that Hotori didn't fear change for herself, but rather for the people around her.
There's another major idea in this manga, which takes a very long time to pay off, and completes its arc at the very very very actual end of the series, the idea of "leading someone to be something". A character that rides that line between main and side character, Shizuka, is a writer of detective novels, who feels the best person to judge her works would be a version of herself without the bias of being the author. She tries to achieve this by leading Hotori to be interested in detective works (including her own) and generally be just like her, starting from a young age. The end result is a young girl dead set on being a detective herself (or at least another novelist), while Shizuka keeps her identity as an author secret. She then uses Hotori as a scapegoat for herself, attempting to see how she would solve various mysteries and use that as inspiration, and this is depicted as though Shizuka were some sort of villain, which she may feel like she is. The end result of it all, though, is that Hotori was likely already a detective-minded person, and that even if Shizuka pushed her down that path, it was Hotori's decision to continue down it, and the very end of the manga is a scene revealing that Hotori figured out Shizuka's secret at some point, and even still respected Shizuka and aspired to reach her, and the two accept each other for who they are. I enjoy this ending a lot, since as an artist I've worried that some of my love or aspirations for and from other artists came with an ulterior motive of wanting a better community for art to exist in, but people are people and will make their own decisions, and some day everyone may be able to become equals in a truly meaningful sense, where everyone is inspired by and guiding each other together.
So that probably didn't mean shit to nobody and I didn't even really talk about anything in the comic like most of the main characters or any of the shit goin on but ya know fuck you go read it, and thanks for reading this.
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crusherthedoctor · 4 years
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Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 15: DR. EGGMAN
There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.
This is a mini-series of mine, in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>
Anyhow, for today’s installment, it’s finally time for him. The bad doctor himself. Gather round ladies and gentleman, for the spotlight is on the arch-villain that shines above them all... Dr. Eggman.
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The Gist: It's the dawn of the 90's. A little company called SEGA had an ephiphany. They wanted to make a video game juggernaut that could rival the quality and iconic appeal of the then-unmatched Super Mario Bros, and their current star, Alex Kidd, just wasn't doing it in the way that they hoped. They promptly set about starting anew, as a worldwide phenomenon wasn't going to make itself.
So a gentleman named Naoto Ohshima created a selection of design concepts for this brand new mascot. One of these concepts was President Roosevelt in his pajamas.
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Seen here with his catgirl body pillow.
The response to this character was “This is good, but we think kids would prefer kicking the shit out of him”, and so he was given an antagonistic role instead. In the meantime, after juggling the rest of their ideas, they eventually settled on a rabbit hedgehog named Sonic for their main protagonist, knowing his Mickey Mouse-like aesthetic would help endear him to the audience, and the franchise as a whole would have an easier time gaining a DeviantART fanbase later on down the line.
Initially, the character of today's review was but a mere lackey among many, seemingly little more than one of numerous minions working for Sonic's originally intended main villain, the Nonspecific Goblin. He was also dressed as a bee for some reason.
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Which is the least weirdest thing in this image.
At some point however, they all got together and decided that actually, the guy with the moustache was the only one worth shit, and so he was upgraded to the role of main villain himself. With a spiffy new attire of red and black, he was given the bold title of Dr. Eggman, because with a shape like that, what else are you gonna call him?
“Funny you should say that”, laughed SEGA of America, as they rebelled like an angsty teen and named him Dr. Ivo Robotnik instead. While this name does make equal sense for the character, as he is indeed a hard worker who also happens to like robots, the reason for this name's existence seems to have been mainly because they thought Eggman was too out there of a name for an egg-like man. Whatever the case, this would confuse a lot of fans for years, and remains a point of divisiveness to this day... Unless you're like me and your first game in the series was Advance 2, in which the manual clears it up right away, and you accept the idea of a character having two names and immediately carry on with your life.
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He would have aimed it perfectly if it weren't for the Sonic Heroes Parrot distracting him.
And that was that, really. It didn't take long for them to come up with his characterization, which was that of a cackling fiend with an ego to end all egos. This guy was the Narcissist Alpha, more king than actual kings, no strings attached. Other villains would build statues of themselves, but only Robotnik would deface Ancient Egyptian monuments to improve them with his face. Other villains would think “Nah, refacing all four in Rushmore would look silly”, but only the Eggman, the Eggmyth, the Egglegend, would go “Well fuck you, I'm doing it anyway.” Then he'd do it anyway, and proceed to address to the entire world that he did in fact do it anyway.
It also didn't take long for them to develop his primary schtick. With the dynamic of Sonic VS Eggman, you had a classic rivalry between nature and technology. Interestingly enough however, this turned out to be executed more tactfully than your typical Amish-abiding examples in similar media. Never was technology itself regarded as a corruptive influence that you should never utilise no matter what. Rather, it was only as good or as evil as the person using it, with it just so happening that the villain loved machinery only slightly less than he loved himself, and it was countered by Sonic’s best friend being a techno wiz in his own right anyway. Anyhow, with his machinery, the doctor would make a name for himself among video game baddies by confronting his enemy as the boss of nearly every zone in each game, rather than hide away until the endgame.
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And all without a driver's licence.
In his soon-to-be-30 years of activity, he has largely remained the same since his inception. Other characters have been introduced, other villains have came and went, but Eggman has remained THE villain of the franchise, and he's remained a vital part of the Sonic the Hedgehog universe... with a slight redesign along the way.
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The only ad I don't want to skip.
The Design: Eggman's design may be more simplistic than the likes of Bowser and Ganondorf, and he may not look as openly threatening at first glance, but it's still a very iconic look no matter what look it is. His original appearance was devised so that kids could have an easy time drawing him, which only makes me feel worse about not being able to do it as a grown adult without it looking like a Sexy Legs Kirby.
Still, it's a classic for a reason. With his to-the-point colour scheme, contrasting heavily with Sonic's blue, and his capelet collar resembling walrus tusks, it was an instant winner and made everyone goo goo for g'joob.
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The Emeralds he’s juggling are a metaphor for the divided fan community.
And when it was time to give the cast an update for Sonic's first real 3D adventure (or at least the first one that didn't get axed for being a magic eye seizure), Eggman got a respectable change of his own. He was taller, his getup was militaristic, and his body was more legitimately egg-shaped rather than basketball-shaped. He also gained a pair of goggles that he never uses, except in scenes where he puts them on and then never uses them.
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“How do my chicken legs not collapse under the might of my gluttonous mass? Find out in an unrelated tie-in novel that you have to pay additional money for.”
There was also that one redesign from 2006, but...
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Be it Classic or Modern, I've always loved his design. Before he even says a word or does anything, you know from his appearance that he's a bit of a clownish sort. But he also has a subtle creepy vibe going on, with the way his glasses often obscure his eyes, and how this only makes the pearly-white, unnecessarily wide grin on his face that much more empty and unsettling. This little bit of eeriness hiding among his cartoonish physique reflects the full extent of his character pretty accurately, as we’ll delve into soon enough.
If nothing else, it's more effective than him having no eyes at all.
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GRRRRRRRR FUCK YOU BUNNIES THAT I CAN'T SEE
The Personality: If you've seen my villain reviews, then you'll have gathered that Sonic's rogues aren't known for having much in the way of personality. There are exceptions, but they are indeed the exceptions. More often than not though, whether it's an alien conquerer, an ancient monster, or Dan Green the Recolour, they can be summed up thusly: They're evil, they want to destroy the world, and the heroes stop them because they're evil and want to destroy the world. If they're feeling particularly daring, they might go for a second colour.
Luckily, as if to counter all these cardboard drawings, the central adversary of the franchise makes up for these voids of personality by actually having one. And what a personality it is.
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The writers of SatAM looked at this and thought “No, this won't do, there's no character to work with here.”
He really is brimming with comedic charm. Every moment that he's present...
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Every moment that he shows off...
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Every moment that he basks in his own glory...
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Every moment that he unveils a new wicked scheme...
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Every moment that he puts his enemies to the test...
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Every moment that he challenges the world...
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Every moment that he laughs at the world...
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Every moment that he lives, nay, every moment that he breathes...
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Yes, the man has plenty of humor, and it's part of what makes him so enjoyable and memorable. However, if you think being a clown is all there is to him, then prepare to have your expectations subverted initial assumptions taken in a unexpected direction, because although he puts the goof in goofy, he ALSO puts the “oh...?” in “oh shit”.
For you see, Eggman is by all means the epitome of Laughably Evil, but do not, under any circumstance, take him at face value and write him off as a joke. He is anything but.
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For starters, he can swing a planet.
There is a rule of thumb that I personally go by with Eggman’s characterization, one that I believe is an immediate make or break factor in regards to whether or not you understand what makes this villain work. Eggman - when you put all his secondary traits aside - is made up of two prominent halves. There’s the egocentric meme machine that bounces up and down like a kid with his N64 and laughs like Santa... and there’s the monster buried within that remains completely and utterly unrepentant for everything he’s responsible for. This is very important. Despite the character’s simplicity at his core, many writers have failed to grasp this, official writers included, and I for the life of me cannot understand why this is such a recurring problem. Eggman is funny, AND Eggman is evil. Both are equal. When you take away one or the other, you may have a funny character, or you may have an evil character, but you don’t have Eggman. Simple as.
Armchair intellectuals may argue that Eggman’s deeds aren’t that evil, since he tends to be merely callous rather than actively trying to hurt or kill people. Those people are probably the types on TV Tropes who weigh a villain’s evilness and effectiveness purely through the surface-level scale of their goals rather than what they actually do to achieve them. While it is true that Eggman tends to be more apathetic about the aftermath of his actions, that doesn’t - and shouldn’t - negate how dangerous he is. It shouldn’t negate what he’s capable of. It shouldn’t negate how far he’s willing to go. And it shouldn’t negate the consequences and casualties that can and do result from his many schemes.
Seriously, think about this for a second. If you confronted Eggman about his current plan to... I dunno, make a water park in Africa or some shit, and you informed him that there has been unexpected mass suffering as a result of this, how do you think he would truly feel about that? What do you think he would actually say to that?
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Spoiler: No fucks.
If anything, that he “merely” doesn’t care either way as long as he gets what he wants is more uniquely horrific and deplorable than if he were a generic baddie who committed his evulz specifically for evulz’s own sake and nothing more. At least you’re inadvertently acknowledging that other people’s lives have value when you act one-dimensionally gleeful over ending them, but when your immediate response to the side-effect of a million potential deaths and environmental disasters is “Oh well, fuck ‘em, Eggmanland time baybeeee”, that’s a new level of cruelty.
Besides, even in the Genesis era, he was carpet bombing Angel Island...
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“Good thing I have this shield. Sucks to be this forest!”
And he’s only gotten worse since then, indulging in such acts as going full suicide bomber with a missile, after his initial plot to destroy and rebuild Station Square through the means of Chaos and the Egg Carrier didn’t work out...
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But don’t worry, he kept it lighthearted by making it look like a penis.
Making one of Sonic’s friends go insane with power against their will, forcing the Blue Blur to put them down personally...
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It’s ironic, cause he’s metal. Or do I have to awkwardly explain the joke two more times before I’m a proper YouTuber?
Capturing thousands of innocent aliens, and forcefully converting them into mindless beasts...
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I’m pretty sure I saw Alfred Molina conduct this experiment one time.
He even removed the heroes’ collective IQs so that he could shoehorn a cliffhanger on an already terrible game.
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Thanks, cunt.
And honestly? When it comes to Sonic and chums at least, Eggman does let out a more openly sadistic side now and then. Need I mention that time when the doctor forced Sonic and two random buddies to make their way through a trap-infested island of his own creation? Not for the sake of nabbing Chaos Emeralds or anything of the sort mind you, he just wanted the blue motor mouth to suffer.
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Images you can hear.
To make matters even worse, as befitting of his manchild tendencies, he’s ridiculously petty. How petty? Petty enough to abduct a little girl’s mother for no other reason than because Cheese completely trivialized his forces the girl was friends with Sonic and helped participate in the latest kicking of his own ass.
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He only picked Vanilla because there was no Strawberry.
But at least his captives can admire the sheer variety that their captor has to offer. One of the greatest things about the doctor's style is that anything goes. With all due respect to Bowser, he tends to stick with his fiery castles (although he has been branching out recently), and plenty of other villains in gaming tend to be similarly stuck in their ways when it comes to tastes. Eggman, on the other hand, will create all sorts of fortresses and reside anywhere on the planet and beyond. It can be in the sky, in space, somewhere hot, somewhere cold, under the sea, in a circus... and every now and then, he might combine some of them together and thensome. So long as it's even vaguely mechanical in some way, his ground rules have already been ticked off.
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Hang on a minute...
You know what else Eggman is? Relentless.
Persistence is a quality that most villains by their very nature share, lest they cease to be an effective antagonist. But once again, Rrrrrrrobotnik maxes out more than any other, and will often go to insane lengths to keep the current plan going, or if not that, then to spite Sonic.
Exhibit A: Sonic 3 & Knuckles, in which the grand finale consists of the madman throwing a gravity-shifting contraption your way, busting out a Kaiju-sized robo, escaping with the Master Emerald after his defeat, continuing to escape even after the Death Egg has been thoroughly destroyed, getting chased through the asteroid fields in space by Super Sonic, and only finally going down when the escape craft and the piloted mech controlling the escape craft are down. And all of this came after a grand adventure where, among other things, he destroyed an entire level just to kill you.
There are immortal omnipotents that put up less of a challenge.
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“Looks like it’s time for Plan... *checks paper*... F.”
His relentlessness also reveals another side of the doctor that is simultaneously admirable and terrifying: He bows to no one. No one. Doesn’t matter who it is. Doesn’t matter how powerful they are. Doesn’t matter how much the odds are stacked against him. If another villain were to demand that he cower before them, the scientist would laugh and show through physical demonstration that this is not the way the egg rolls. Unless he’s absolutely unable to do so, he will give it his all every time, and even if he can’t, he’ll use his crafty mind to find some other way to get around the issue. You can beat him in battle, you can foil his plans, but you absolutely cannot break his resolve.
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“Dad said it’s my turn to play with the Ruby. I know this, because I’m your dad.”
What about his relationship with those who actually serve him? Specifically, his own robots? Well for the most part, he treats them like absolute crap, what with verbally abusing them at every corner and being all too willing to go full Vader on them the moment they mess up. He IS capable of expressing fondness and giving praise to his more successful creations, like with Metal Sonic and Gamma, but even then, it’s a roundabout way of praising himself, since he’s the one who made them what they are. So basically, you’re only valuable to him if you make him look good.
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Gaming in the Clinton Years in a nutshell.
And as for Sonic? Yeah, like with any legendary and long-lasting hero/villain dynamic, it’s obvious that Eggman has some degree of begrudging respect for his opponent. But if you think this respect would dissuade him from actually going through with his ambitions of rulership...
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As the hedgehog’s apparent demise in Sonic Adventure 2 proves, as well as his defeat at the hands of Infinite and the subsequent six months of brutal conquest in Sonic Forces, Eggman is dead serious about his goals. If you think he’d get bored after conquering the world, he would simply expand his resources and have a crack at conquering the rest of the universe. When he says he hates that hedgehog, I’m inclined to believe that he means it, and although he may enjoy his “games” with Sonic to an extent, I also can’t see him wanting to remain stuck on square one forever.
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If this were Sonic X, he’d just grieve.
By the way, the scene above? Undeniable proof that for all the doctor’s boasting, he’s not actually lying or exaggerating when he prides himself on his brilliance. Because when you get past his goofy exterior, when you look beyond the occasional, relatively minor mistake (*glares at IDW*), you’ll see that... yes. He IS brilliant. And not just in the science department either, although his countless robots and strongholds over the years are no doubt a testament to his credentials there. While he may prefer to go in big and bold, he can also be shrewd with his strategies when he wants to be.
Sonic’s aforementioned near-death experience, for example, was the result of Eggman turning the heroes’ own cunning plan on its head by being one step ahead of them. And in Sonic Unleashed, he lured his enemy into a trap, culminating with him cancelling out Super Sonic.
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“...and pay the price for your Werehog gameplay...”
And after all those years of struggling, he finally got a giant monster under his complete control. “But he had help!”, you say? Yeah, from himself.
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Did Flynn sleep through all this...?
Much like his inner nature as an evil bastard, Eggman's effectiveness is likewise commonly underestimated by writers. Yes, he occasionally makes mistakes. Yes, he occasionally overlooks details. Yes, he occasionally lacks foresight. But he is NOT stupid. A hero is only as good as their villain after all, and if Eggman is portrayed as a bumbling fool, then how can Sonic be a truly great hero? Eggman is humorous, sinister, and when the chips are down, competent.
...Did I mention that he's also a master Olympian?
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The Execution: There's no surprises here. You knew from the moment you saw this review that my stance wasn't going to be anything less than 100% fanboy adoration. In that respect, this section almost feels redundant, because there's only so many ways I can say “Dr. Eggman is the fucking shit and I'm eternally grateful to Mr. Ohshima for bringing this absolute masterpiece into our world” without it getting repetitive. So to cap this review off, I'm going to very briefly compare his portrayals in other media, and explain why they tend to not be as good as the original SEGA Eggman.
“Cause they’re not balanced, right?” you ask. “Cause they veer too far in a particular direction? You're so predictable,” you add. To that I say:
1. Yeah, basically.
2. ...S-Shut up...
3. While the conclusion may be obvious, it's nonetheless important because as I mentioned previously, despite how straightforward this villain is, writers seem absolutely intent on not getting the point. There are loads of villains out there who share Eggman's talent of mixing hilarity and evil together with a bow of competence on top. Two of those villains are among the most famous supervillains of all time, in fact. You might have heard of them.
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Joker can do it just fine. Green Goblin can do it just fine. And plenty of others can do it just fine. So why is it such an issue with Eggman? What is it about a round body and a long moustache that gets people to think “No, this guy is absolutely incapable of being comedic and threatening at the same time, no question, end of.” Is it because he’s a more cartoony franchise? Well, that can't be the case, because even Mario has a couple of beloved examples. Fawful, anyone? How about Dimentio? Cackletta? King Boo? K. Rool? Hell, you could even count Bowser himself depending on the portrayal.
Anyway, the point is, writers tend to miss the mark for one reason or another. With Sonic X for example, he wasn't too bad in the beginning, but as the show went on, he became exactly the toothless non-villain that many people misjudge him as. We all know that scene where he berates Black Narcissus for harming their captives (not for pragmatic reasons mind you, he genuinely took issue with the act on moral grounds, even though his own hands weren’t exactly clean either), but even before that point, he was doing such things as healing an injured Sonic without an ulterior motive, not taking any opportunity whatsoever to start conquering Sonic's world because he was pining for Sonic's attention, and being the Jiminy Cricket to Chris Thorndyke's Pinocchio. Why they thought the goddamn villain should be the moral conscience of this show remains an unanswered question, but at least it no longer influences how he's portrayed in the games.
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Then you have the IDW comic, which is a similar tale of starting off decent and then careening wildly into the abyss, but for different reasons. Initially, he was built up to be in-line with his competent, foresight-packed self from Forces, with his inevitable return being met with dread, and a delightfully devilish scheme to match when he finally did so. But somewhere along the way, Ian Flynn thought that Eggman coming back from his amnesiac period and returning stronger than ever with a new minion and a deadly virus wasn't enough to up the stakes... so they decided to “up the stakes” by turning both the doctor and his new minion into massive imbeciles so as to justify their plot getting hijacked by the Deadly Six, a move so predictable yet infuriating that it got even me to turn against the Six. And the reason the Six got invited in-universe is because Starline decided he didn’t like being unique and devolved into Snively 2.0 behind Eggman’s back. All this from the alleged “best writer” for the series...
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Yeah, same.
And then you have the Boom version, which shares basically the same issues as Sonic X but in a more mundane fashion. It's easier to dismiss because it's a comedy-centric show and his redesign makes it easier to separate him from mainline Eggman, and I'll gladly admit that he does have a lot of genuinely funny lines that redeem him a little bit. But yeah, too much of not being a true villain for my tastes.
Now this isn't to say that there haven't been portrayals in other media that are up there with the original. The versions that I consider better off than the ones above include...
- The OVA Eggman is pretty faithful all things considered, aside from his romantic feelings for Sara, which feels slightly off since the idea of Eggman loving anyone other than himself is incredibly unrealistic at best. But it doesn't actually soften or undermine his deviousness, so I'm willing to let it slide for an alternate take. Especially since he gave us the best Metal Sonic out there.
- AoStH is far from a perfect show, but there's a reason why even its detractors tend to treat its version of Robotnik like a national treasure. Admittedly most of that is because of the legendary Long John Baldry and the endless memes associated with this incarnation, but despite hailing from a comedy-focused show like Boom Eggman, this Robotnik still had a lot of legitimately dangerous moments, more than you'd think.
- And of course, Jim Carrey's Robotnik in the Sonic movie is just... *chef's kiss*
So obvious aesop though it may be, but you see what the more effective portrayals have in common, I assume?
Granted, this also isn't to say that SEGA Eggman himself has had a perfect track record. The decade's worth of upstagings and backstabbings by other villains should be enough of a counterpoint to that claim, and I've also made it clear now and then that I take issue with certain games regarding what they do with the doc, no matter how revered they may be by other fans. Sonic Adventure 2, for instance. I praised the fake emerald scene, and I do sincerely believe that he has a number of other badass moments in that game, but because Shadow was playing him like a fool the whole time, I can't help but have a bitter taste in my mouth when I look at the bigger picture.
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So close to greatness, yet so far...
So in that case, which game do I think has Eggman's best showing overall? That's not in any way an easy question, but lack of dialogue aside, I'm gonna go with Sonic 3 & Knuckles again, as the classic journey through the sights of Angel Island plays out in a way that highlights just how determined, ruthless, and underhanded he is with carrying out his mission to revive the Death Egg by any means necessary. Other games do win out in other areas - SA1 for how bastardly he is, Forces for how cunning he is, Colours for his hilarious announcements, CD for using the scenery to show the effects of his actions, Mania for not letting the other villain walk all over him - but for the purest essence of the doctor at his cartoony yet competent best, I'd say S3&K is a reasonable bet.
And when it comes to all his many traits, which one do I find the most special one of all? Well again, far from easy to answer, but I think the coolest aspect about him is also one of the most overlooked. Robotnik, despite whatever superhuman qualities he may occasionally unveil, is for all intents and purposes a regular guy with a big brain. This might make him appear unimpressive when compared to your average Final Fantasy villain and the like, but if anything, it paints him in a more flattering light than expected, because he doesn't even need to be on their level to still be on the radar. It's easy to be a big bad threat when you're an ancient demon or an almighty god-like being, and you only have to wave a hand to cause armageddon. But when you're just Some Guy™ going up against superpowered opponents, meaning you have to earn your threat level the hard way, and you prove to be a challenge every step of the way regardless, because you're just THAT much of a genius... that's fucking awesome, no other way to put it.
And you know what else is awesome? You may not like Eggman, and you don’t have to like him, but like it or not, he is directly and indirectly responsible for a vast majority of the coolest and most loved moments and aspects of this franchise.
The opening to Unleashed? Eggman set up the scene.
Shadow running around and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman released him.
Blaze getting involved with Sonic’s world and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman’s half-responsible for that.
Metal Sonic? Eggman made him.
Egg Dragoon? Eggman.
Big Arm? Eggman.
Monkey Dude? Eggman.
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That text is missing a blue checkmark.
This review is probably longer than the echidna family tree in Archie at this point, so I better finish it off. If it wasn't obvious from all the paragraphs I've belted out in this post, I'm very passionate about Eggman and the way he’s portrayed. Ever since I got into the Sonic franchise in 2003, I immediately took a liking to the doctor, and to this day, he remains not only my favourite Sonic villain, my favourite Sonic character, but also my favourite character period. Some may find it a weird or lame choice compared to other, “better” characters, but that's the way it is, and I ain't about to change it. I am very unlikely to ever stop enjoying the hell out of this villain, and even if he got irreversibly ruined in some way, I'd still continue to love what he was before that point.
Because yeah, he's not the deepest character ever, but... who cares? Is it not enough that we find something that appeals to us? When I got into Sonic, I was introduced to fantastic games, a likable cast, high quality soundtracks, beautiful worlds, numerous friends on this very site, and of course, the lovely treasure that is my partner. I may not have been with this franchise during the 90's, but it's given me just as much fun, nostalgia, and happiness as those who were. Despite the flawed titles, despite the fandom conundrums, I still love this series.
And I still love this absolute prick.
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Crusher Gives Dr. Eggman a: TWO Thumbs Up!
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queenofspades20 · 3 years
Text
Bloodbath & Beyond 1/?
Pairing: Vampire!Loki x Reader
Synopsis: Loki is the original vampire. He has grown bored with the women he’s been with over the centuries. That all changes one day when he takes a second look at Y/N, the owner of a bar. Inspired by the song Bloodbath & Beyond by Ice Nine Kills.
Getting into a Halloween mood, so actually felt like writing. This will likely be about 2-4 chapters total (haven’t quite decided where I’m going with this, honestly). Hope you enjoy!
Word count: about 1.7k.
Warnings: really none this chapter. Probably some gore/angst in future chapters.
As Loki looked around the crowded bar, he tried to find his prey for the evening. The bar was dimly lit by string lights that ran the entire length of the ceiling. There were a few neon beer signs on the walls that helped to cover some of the peeling wallpaper. The booths that were around the room were filled with parties. The room carried the scent of beer and bourbon, the main drinks that were offered at this particular establishment, and was filled with the heat of the bodies that filled it. Loki cradled a glass of Four Roses Single Barrel in his hand. While his diet was comprised mainly of blood, he did enjoy the occasion glass of bourbon, even if it didn’t do anything for him. It also allowed him to blend in with the crowds easier. Loki wore a black suit with a dark green shirt. His raven hair slightly slicked back, reaching his shoulders. As his gaze moved to the back of the room, he saw a blonde woman with her friends. She seemed to be the odd one out, which made her the perfect meal for the night. It had been some time since he fed. Though he had gotten several women to leave with him, when he got to the point of feeding, he simply lost interest and let them go, wiping their memories of their interactions with him.
Loki made his way towards the woman, his eyes never leaving her. She looked up and met his eyes. A blush covered her face as she noticed how his eyes didn’t move from her.
Y/N was standing behind the bar, handing a patron their drink, when she noticed the tall dark-haired man make his way across the room. She sighed to herself. As the owner of the bar, Y/N had noticed the man in her bar a few times before. He always ordered a single glass of bourbon that he nursed throughout the night. He always left with a woman, but never the same one more than once. Y/N had a little bit of a crush on the man, if she was honest with herself, which she refused to be. She found him handsome and he was always kind to her and the rest of the staff. He usually came on the busiest nights, so she had never been able to have a long conversation with him. Y/N wished that one night he would pay more attention to her, but didn’t think it would ever happen. Oh well, Y/N thought to herself. No use wishing for the attention of someone who probably wouldn’t want more than one night anyways. Y/N decided that her staff had the bar sufficiently run and made her way to her office to finish some paperwork.
Loki felt the eyes of someone other than his prey on him. He thought about looking for the source, but didn’t want to lose his prey. Even though he had lost his interest in feeding, he knew he needed to feed soon. Unfortunately, as soon as he got the blonde outside, his desire for feeding went away. He sighed as he wiped the memory of the blonde and sent her back to her friends.
“Why can’t I feed?” Loki groaned to himself. Loki felt his frustration grow. He thought back to the feeling he had in the bar. Maybe I should try and find the person who had been staring at me.
Loki made his way back into the bar. He surveyed the area but could not feel the draw from before. He decided to hang around for a bit to see if the person came back. Loki settled in a seat at the bar and ordered another bourbon.
After deciding she had done enough paperwork for the evening, made her way back to the bar. Even though she was the owner, she loved working the bar and making conversation with the patrons. She loved that everyone had a story and the job was never the same night twice. As she exited from the back, she saw her tall stranger sitting back at the bar. He was one that always intrigued her because she never could quite get his story.
“Thought you left,” Y/N said with a bit of humor in her voice. “You don’t usually stick around that long.”
Loki felt the gaze from earlier. He smiled to himself. “I think I forgot something. I was wondering if you would be willing to help me,” Loki said as he turned around in his seat. Across the bar from him was the owner, Y/N he thought her name was. He had always been intrigued by her, but never wanted to pursue her because of his nature.
“What did you forget?” Though they had a few interactions, the stranger rarely said anything to her more than a please, thank you, or his drink order. Y/N decided to take advantage of his chattiness.
“Your name.” Loki decided he wanted to see if anything would come out talking to her. Worst case scenario, he made her forget their interaction and he would move on with his life.
Y/N laughed. “Wow, you’ve been coming here for how long and you forget my name? Ouch.” Y/N placed her hand on her chest in mock hurt. “I must not be very memorable.”
Loki liked this showing of sassiness from her. “Darling, you are quite memorable, but I don’t think we’ve ever actually introduced ourselves.”
Y/N thought to herself for a moment. “I think you are correct. In that case, I’m Y/N. And you are?” Y/N asked with a lift of her eyebrow and a cheeky smile on her lips.
“I am Loki.” Loki reached out his hand towards her, as if to shake hands. When her hand reached his, Loki moved her hand closer him and kissed the back. Y/N felt her cheeks heat up from the contact. His mouth was a bit on the colder side and she felt a shiver run down her back. “A pleasure, Lady Y/N.”
Y/N snorted. “I’m hardly a lady.”
Loki, now stroking the back of Y/N’s hand with his thumb, stated, “On the contrary. You are always gracious in how you deal with customers. You are kind. You are very much a lady."
Y/N just rolled her eyes. “Sure. I’ll take your word for it. So, now that you have my name, is there something else I can help you with?”
Loki looked deep into her Y/E/C eyes. “When do you finish here?”
“Any time I want really. I have a manager and I own the place. I just like hanging out here.”
“Come with me.” Loki used his power of persuasion.
“I don’t think so. You know, I get you’re a smooth talker and all, but I’m gonna pass. I’m not really interested in being just another notch on your bedpost.” Y/N would be lying if she said she wasn’t attracted to Loki, but she also saw how many women he had left with throughout the months he had been coming to her bar. Y/N pulled her hand away from Loki’s.
Loki looked surprised. His powers had never failed to work before. “I. . . I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“You didn’t,” Y/N said matter-of-factly. “I just know what I don’t want.”
“Fair enough. How about I walk you home then?”
“That would be alright, I guess. But why would you want to waste your time with me?”
“It’s not a waste. I find myself intrigued by you and would love to get to know you better. I’m sorry if I gave you a poor impression of me.”
“No apologies needed. Let me grab my purse from my office and we can go,” Y/N said with a smile. Y/N walked back to her office and grabbed her bag. She let her manager know she was leaving for the night and let him know he needed to lock the place up.
Loki was waiting at the bar when she returned. “Ready to go?”
Loki held out his arm and Y/N looped her arm through his. “Lead the way, my lady.”
The walk to the apartment went quickly and Loki found himself sad at the thought of saying goodnight. He tried to think of a way to prolong their time together. He decided to be direct.
“Tell me, Y/N. How can I convince you to spend more time with me?”
“Well, asking is a good start. And I guess also tell me what you’re looking for. I don’t like to waste my time.”
“Would you care to join me for a walk tomorrow night, say around 10?”
Y/N stared at him for a few moments. “Because that doesn’t sound like a serial killer thing to ask. No dinner, just a walk? Where did you have in mind for this walk?” Y/N just continued to stare incredulously at Loki with a single eyebrow raised.
“I understand the time is unconventional, but I am not usually free until about 9pm this time of year.”
“What are you, a vampire?” Y/N laughed.
Loki choked and coughed to try and hide his reaction. He gave a slight chuckle. He didn’t want to lie to Y/N but he also thought it was too soon to tell her the truth of his nature. “I work in customer service. My hours tend to be a bit later, that’s all.”
“I was just kidding, Loki. I mean, I own a bar. My hours tend to be nighttime anyways. We can do a walk tomorrow. You want to meet me here or at the bar?”
“Let’s meet at the bar. We can have a drink beforehand.”
“Alright. Tomorrow night, 10 o’clock, at my bar.” Y/N confirmed the details. “Did you want my number in case you change your mind?”
“There’s nothing that would change my mind about wanting to see you again,” Loki assured her. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “Here is my card. My number is on there, in case you change your mind.”
“I’m feeling pretty confident in my decision. I’ll see you tomorrow, Loki.” Y/N put her hand on Loki’s shoulder and leaned in. She placed a kiss on his cheek. “It’s a bit cold out. Make sure you stay warm.”
Loki smiled at her. “’Til tomorrow, my lady.”
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Text
Saiyan Mates {Son Goku} - 2. Stretching
Stretching
*****
Disclaimer - (Cause fanfiction is tricky ground and I hope not to offend the creator of the original story and get sued)
I do not own "Dragon Ball", it belongs to its original creator Akira Toriyama. This is only a fanfiction that I was inspired to write by the original work. Please support the official release. Most of the media - such as the art and illustrations, gifs, video's, etc. used in this fanfiction - are from the web. Thus, most of them aren't mine (because I really, really can't draw) unless mentioned. To fit the story, images are also edited by various apps and websites. So they aren't mine, just edited.
Also if you own a picture or Video that I found online, and you either want your name added, or me to take it down. Please contact me and we can talk it out. P.s. I also ask that you do not copy my work and publish it onto any other website.
If you're gonna use my idea, please ask me (If you ask nicely, I for sure, will agree). If I don't contact you within a week, then just assume I'm giving you the all clear and go for it. Just remember to credit me.
I will be writing out scenes even if my Oc isn't in them. As long as she's mentioned, or influencing the characters in some way. Or maybe because it influences the story. This may seem a bit annoying. But that's just how I write. I like to embed my characters into the story line. Because of this, most of the dialogue/scenes will come from the original work.
Warnings: Spoilers for Dragon Ball Z episode 11, Mentions of killing and death, Mates, Cursing, Violence
*****
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Today's Special (Curse word involved)
"You want a whore, buy one.
You want a queen, earn her."
~ Cersei Lannister
*****
{Atena P.O.V.}
I woke up with a yawn, my eyes fluttering open. I was already expecting this. Sleeping gases never worked on me for too long, so I always needed two doses, versus Vegita and Nappa's one dose.
I turned to stare out the pod's only window and grin as I saw a planet in the distance. I rubbed my stiff neck, hmm, maybe stretching my body would help a bit.
I turned on my communication device, "Nappa, Vegeta! Get up!" I screamed as loud as I could.
I heard a groan from Vegeta, "God dammit Atena." He cursed as he woke up.
I smirked, "You up or-"
"I'm up!" He growled out. "But that idiot clearly isn't. Nappa, wake up!" He commanded.
The older man grumbled, "I'm awake. What's going on?" He asked, confused.
"Nothing much. But Atena wants to make a stop and stretch a bit, get some exercise." At this point, Vegeta didn't need his sister to tell him what was on her mind. He saw the planet and knew what she had wanted instantly. "Planet Arlia is right over there. Maybe we could sell it for a nice price."
I nodded, "I'm pretty sure that the party from Araclion is looking to expand. They'd be more than happy to pay a pretty penny for Arlia."
"That sounds good." Nappa agreed, turning on the lights on his space pod. "I hope these Arlians know how to fight. We haven't had any real competition since I can remember."
We then set a course for Arlia. Once we had entered the planet's gravity, we let it pull us down. And landed with a bang.
I climbed out of my pod, only to stare at a complete waste land with broken ruins scattered around.
"Aww man, what a mess. Not much is there." said Nappa from behind me.
"Obviously not." My brother rolled his eyes. "Let's have a look around shall we."
I sighed, "Sure, nothing better to do."
I watched Nappa pat a pillar lightly, only for it to crumble upon impact. "Are you sure you can get a high price for this planet?" He asked me.
"Doubt it." Vegeta answers.
But I shook my head, "On the contrary. As boring as this run down planet is, it's actually a selling point. We could actually charge more on the basis that the people buying it wouldn't need to tear anything down."
"Let's check around a little longer." Says Vegeta.
Our scouter then begins beeping as the ground near us bursts open and two large, blue caterpillar-like creatures attack us. My eyes zone in on their heads, Where two smaller aliens appear to be riding them.
"You are trespassing on Arlian territory." One of them says to us.
"Make one move and we'll blast ya." The other adds. "It was a good day to go hunting after all."
"Let's give them a proper welcome." His friend snickered.
I stare at the two creatures, unimpressed. I turned to my brother, "A proper welcome would be at least 1000 men, for each of us."
My brother rolls his eyes, "Oh please, just look at them. They'd need 10,000 just to land an attack."
"Let's just blast them." Nappa suggests.
"Eassy." Vegeta commands him.
"Surrender peacefully or face the consequences." One of them threatens.
"No." The Saiyan prince answers.
The bug looks surprised, I think at least. It then quickly says, "You left us no choice. Prepare to be destroyed then!" It fires a red beam from his mouth?... I think.
I can see it hit me, but don't feel a thing. The only trace it leaves is the dust that kicks up from the ground.
"That's the end of them." I can hear one of them say.
I let out a yawn, as the other two gasp to see us continuing to stand in front of them as if nothing had happened.
"Surrender at once!" They shout.
"Yeah! Make me!" Nappa screams back.
'Nappa. Surrender to them.' My brother commands us, through the familia bond.
I stare at him, not amused. 'Come one, let's have some fun, we're here.' He tells me.
I sigh, relenting. 'Fine. I'll play along with your little game. But if this ends up another stupid, wimpy male trying to mate with me, your going to owe me. BIG TIME!'
We extend our wrists forward as the two bug-like aliens begin rejoicing, "Yeah, they're giving up."
"I guess we're too much for them." His partner adds.
"They sure are ugly."
"But they'll be good entertainment for the king. Especially the women." One of them says, cuffing my wrists.
I feel my eyebrow twitch at the comment, 'Screw you Vegeta!' I curse through the link.
*****
I yawed in bordem as we were carried in a cage, pulled by the large insects most likely towards where their king is. 'Well if he's a king, he should at least have some guards.' I told the other two.
'That's exactly what I'm hoping for.' My brother responds.
As were herded into a jail cell, the man cackles, "You should be glad to know your cell doesn't have any rate. The prisoners ate them all."
"Oh, joy." I comment drily.
"Why you!" The bug-like creature shouts.
"Wait!" His friend pulls him back. "You know the king prefers his women to be mark free."
"Remind me to get that guy." Nappa growls.
"Sure." I shrug. "But the king's mine." After the sexist comments I can just feel coming my way, I'm deserve to be the one to end that pathetic life, so I'm calling dibs.
"Look at those aliens!" I hear from my left.
"They sure are ugly."
"Maybe they think we're the ugly ones." Another adds.
"Speak for yourself." His friend grunts back.
"Be quiet all of you. It doesn't matter what they look like. They're stuck in here just like the rest of us." One with a golden bangle on his arm chastises the rest of the group. "They're just more victims of that tyrant king. Locked away and left to rot." he says, rubbing his arm.
Yeah buddy, there's no way I'm pulling the pin on that grenade.
But, apparently, I didn't need to. "I'm afraid you visitors have come at a bad time. The new king of Arlia is very ruthless. He uses the prisoners for his own amusement. He even went as far as to steal my wife Lemlia on the day we were to be married. So you can imagine the pain I feel."
I scoffed, "So he's married and handsy. Isn't he the complete package."
I heard footsteps and turned my attention to two females of the race walking towards the cell holding something... pink?
ARE THOSE FRILLS?!
WHO THE HELL USES THAT MUCH LACE?!
Yeah, hell no!
I turn to my brother, "I'm done." And with that, I blast the cell bars open with an energy blast.
The guards instantly begin filling in, only to be met with the same fate as the cell blasts.
"Couldn't leave any for us?" My brother raises an eyebrow.
"Oh come on. Perhaps the ones upstairs may be stronger, though I doubt it." I suggest.
We walk upstairs and to the loudest room in time to hear the king calling for us.
"Don't put yourself out." says Vegeta, "We're already here."
"What's the meaning of this? Why don't these prisoners have an armed escort? And why is that female dressed in such a manner?"
"Dressed? You mean that pink monstrosity? Yeah, you wouldn't catch my dead body in that!" I scoffed.
"I don't know my sire." The alien next to him answered. "No orders were sent to the dungeon."
"Your guards met with an unfortunate accident." Vegeta answered.
"How dare you?"the king shouted, "Soon it will be your turn to be met with an unfortunate accident!" He screams at my brother, and then turns to me. "And you! You should be honoured that I even considered you."
I raised an eyebrow, "Oh please. You aren't even strong enough to be considered my pet, let alone my mate."
Please, as if I ever consider a man like him. He looked like he wouldn't even be able to pin me down. As a Saiyan it was in my natural instincts to desire a strong mate. My true mate may have died on our planet. But that doesn't mean I'd ever even think of having a child with such a weakling.
The man on the throne growls before turning to the cotton candy like women to his right. "You may not want to watch this my dear."
I sighed in exasperation and put a hand on my hip, "Yeah, sure. Tell her to turn away after you were just talking about doing things with another women, you disgusting pig."
"Why you! My guards shall make short work off this repulsive creatures."
"Really?" My brother asks in mock surprise.
"Ah, let's see." The man nodes, tapping his finger. "Yes, we'll test the big one with the shiny head against our champion in combat. The little one may go next, and we'll save the women for last. Now teach them a lesson."
A large alien from behind us then jumped at Nappa, only for Vegeta to shoot a line of energy blast out of his index finger and middle finger. Blasting his head clean off, and killing him instantly.
"Huh? I guess that makes you the new champion Vegeta." Nappa comments.
My brother chuckles only for the king, still calmly counter with. "Not bad. But 10 of our finest warriors have already mastered techniques using energy just like yours."
"They have?" Vegeta asks, turning around, "Interesting. We'd like to fight them."
I nod, "Who knows. Maybe I'll finally get to stretch a bit."
"Ready?" The saiyan prince asks.
The king let out a cry of outrage, "I'll see you suffer for your insolence!"
"Yeah, whatever." Nappa responded, "Can we get on with this already."
"Ah, how dare you!"
I chuckled, "Easy, you just need to spit out the words."
His 'elite' guards became to surround us, and fire off a red energy blast from their mouths in unison.
I touched the small sparks that were left behind. "How weak." I sighed.
"Was that it? It felt real good. It was refreshing." Vegeta antagonised them.
"Oh. I'll make you pay." The king growled. "If you think you can just walk out of here. You're sadly mistaken."
"You know what's funny, Vegeta?" I turned to my brother. "He keeps saying 'I' as if he's going to be the one fighting. It's hilarious."
"Guards! Attack! Destroy them!"
I sighed, "All right. Play times over." I created a circle of energy around me, and then expanded it outward. Then, when it was at the feet of the men, I shot the bright ring of energy upward, slicing off various parts of the aliens. Killing them.
"Aww come on Antenna. Couldn't you have left any for us." Nappa complained.
"What's the point?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "They're all weak."
"Open the gates!" The king commanded in fear.
I then began to hear gears turning and a section of the ground in front of us open. And from it, a large brown insect rose.
"So it's the giant bug from the ground trick?" My brother scoffed.
I shrugged, "I personally liked the giant rat a little better. It's screams were surprisingly nice."
"You need to destroy these creatures. They're bad. Very, very bad!" The king ordered the giant beast pointing at us."
"That's it!" I growl. "I'm done." I walked over to the king, startling him. "Please die." I smile at him kindly, before flicking his forehead with my index finger, and sending his head flying off his body.
"We're bad?" Nappa asks.
"Well a little." Vegeta answers.
"Correction." I challenge, "We're bad people, but great Saiyan's." I pretend to wipe a tear from my eye, "Oh how proud daddy must be."
Vegeta scoffs, "Daddy's girl."
I smirk, "Oh please, your just jealous that I was the favourite."
The large insect takes a swipe at us, only for us to jump up, like some kind of game of skip rope.
Nappa lands on some steps, and the giant bug gives chase.
"Lucky." I pout. "The only thing maybe worth fighting."
It then tries to lunge for Vegeta, only to miss and lose his balance, crashing onto the ground.
It begins shooting lasers at us, at which point we begin flying around.
"Hey ugly!" Nappa calls it. It thrusts a fist at the bald man, only for Nappa to grab the claw.
The bug begins the whimper as Nappa pulls his claw right out.
The creature makes a desperate attempt to capture him in his hands, only for Nappa to jump away at the last second.
"Hey! I got one more little surprise for you." Nappa then throws an energy ball straight at it, blowing him up.
The remaining aliens began crawling out, and at that point I checked out. "See yeah. I'm going back to sleep." With that I enter my pod, and once again set the coordinates for Earth. Only for once again my inner beast begins crawling around in my mind.
'We'll get some action soon." I tell her, figuring she was just feeling caged. I only hear her mutter something about mate.... before the sleeping gas kicks in, and I fall asleep.
*****
There's an Easter egg up there, did anyone spot it?
Heads up, there will definitely be Chi-Chi bashing. For all of you who like her, sorry. But it had to be done for the sake of the story. Remember, this is a fanfiction, so will by amplifying all her flaws by like 50, which can make anyone seem bad. So don't hate on me, the story, or the real Chi-Chi (and she tries her best in her situation). Because this is just a fanfiction.
Also someone pointed out to me that I accidentally wrote Vegeta's name with an 'i', as Vegita, a couple times. So sorry for that guys. And thanks for pointing that out, I'll try my best not to make that mistake again
Another thing I will be changing is - as the story progresses, Goku's saiyan instincts will help sharpen his mind, and his other senses. So smarter, and slightly darker and possessive Goku.
You can read the other chapters of this story (in order) on Wattpad, Quotev, Fanfiction.Net, Ao3, or Webnovel - Under the username Animeloverforever1127 (Under the same title of course). Or you could shuffle around my tumbler, (I’ll try to keep my tags constant) but I’d go with the first - just seems like a lot less work.
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baddyzarc · 4 years
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1/6 Ruins: Legend of the Ancient Hero
x 2 3 4a 4b 5 6 7  
So awhile back I wrote a small, incomplete piece over Vector and his guardian, Minotarous, and how it connects to his legend and mythyrian number. Since then, I've been wanting to do it for all of the Emperors since there's enough details and Easter eggs to do that and nows a good time. I'm gonna be taking text mainly from the original subs since the dub did things to them that I do not agree with.
Since its gonna cover 6 different ruins, I decided to split this up into multiple parts.
So let’s begin with the ruins of everyone's favorite blind, book-loving, memelord supreme barian, Dubhe
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Being the first to kick off the arc, Durbe’s ruin is probably the easiest of the ruins to understand. 
Aside from the theme of trusting in others, one of the other major themes of his ruins revolves around the self-sacrifice motif.
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This is clearly seen at the very start of the arc. It started with the scene where Yuma jumped in front of a bear in order to protect Durbe, who is a stranger and a very likely candidate of the Barian Emperor that crashed into their ship. Yuma was willing to sacrifice himself to (or fistfight) a bear to protect a complete stranger.
The next example is a little more obscure, but I say it happens when Durbe pushed Ryouga out from under the falling rocks and trapped himself with the fish boy. This one is a bit tough to grasp what Durbe “sacrificed” by doing this, but I argue that Ryouga was immediately held distrust towards Durbe from the beginning. Durbe has no reason to save him, and it would’ve benefited him greatly if Ryouga is out of the picture. Instead, Durbe saves him, and in the process he sacrifices his safety for a person who really hates Barians.
This whole concept continues throughout the Durbe's ruins. “Numbers 44: White Winged Horse - Sky Pegasus“ has the ability to destroy a monster unless the owner pays 500 lifepoints, and due to additional effects, Yuma has to pay 1000 lifepoints (which is a quarter of his life) each time this happens. Yuma chooses to sacrifice his lifepoints to keep Durbe and Ryouga as well as his “Numbers 39: King of Wishes, Hope” alive. In the Legend, Mach sacrifices himself for Durbe, and Durbe sacrifices himself for Mach in the past. There’s also something to be said when Yuma places his trust in the Barian Emperor, Durbe, after recounting his disaster with my boy Vector too. Even near the end of the episode, Ryouga is willing to die in order for Yuma to win the duel. The whole mini-arc is lathered in this theme.
What I found interesting about the "self-sacrificing" theme is what Mach says at the beginning of the duel. He says that in order for Yuma to win (and in turn save Ryouga and Durbe), he has to surrender the duel, or "victory can only be achieved through surrender." In essence, Yuma has to sacrifice, or surrender, the Mythyrian Number if he wants to save everyone. This is usual villain banter, but in the context of this episode, it is almost knee-jerking and tragic.
Recall back to Durbe’s legend. The Legend of the Ancient Hero (recounted through the scriptures on the ruins, Durbe, and Mach) tells the story of a group of four brave knights with one of them being Durbe and his Pegasus, Mach. Together they protected a distant land. Durbe returned to his homeland for some time (presumably to aid Nasch in his quest). Corrupted with the aspiration for power, the remaining knights overthrew the king and took over the country. When Durbe returned, he tried to appeal to them by saying “their hearts [are] filled with justice.” Unfortunately, he failed to open their hearts, and the three knights attacked Durbe.
Despite the assault, Durbe refused to harm or kill the attackers because he saw them as his cherished companions. Instead of fighting back, he surrendered, and he was stricken down by their relentless attacks. 
Mach intervened in these attacks in order to protect his master, and he became fatally injured as a result. Durbe refused to retreat or abandon his dying steed, so he stayed by Mach’s side so they could perish together. 
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The final line of the legend said that the knights saw how noble the two of them were in their self-sacrifice to each other. They committed their lives to prove the bond between friends, the knights included. To honor Durbe, the knights ceased their rebellion, and they laid Mach and Durbe to rest as heroes. 
In the case of the legend, even with their tragic demise, victory was achieved through surrender. 
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Yuma does a similar thing. In order to win, he has to play Mach’s game. He has to accept sacrificing himself over and over again. Only by taking those hits, by surrendering his life, is he able to win the duel and save his friends.  
Okay, so enough about the theme of the ruins, let’s talk about physical ruins. 
Noteworthy imagery used in the ruins is the use of colors. 
When the characters got separated, they ended up in two chambers. One is lit by blue flames and the other by red flames. 
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And the thing about Zexal is that blue and red have strong associations to Astral World and Barian World respectively. Not all of the time, but the usage of these colored hallways and flames disappear shortly afterwards. So if the writers didn’t want you to notice the difference, they would’ve omitted it entirely. These colors are included for some reason.
Now you're probably wondering why I bring this up. Ryouga, Durbe, and Rio are Barians, Astral is, well, an Astral, this separation doesn’t make sense. But consider where the characters wind up. The “blue light” leads to the legend of the hero while the “red light” leads to the Number.
With the "red light" path, their intention is to free “Number 44: White Winged Horse - Sky Pegasus”. 
Okay, slight deviation since this is important, but the Mythyrian Numbers are a special set of Numbers that Astral used to seal Don Thousand’s powers away. With Numbers, they do not belong to the Astral as a whole. If that’s the case, the existence of “Number 100: Numeron Dragon” implies that Astral created God, which is a little problematic (or a plot hole, take your pick). This is also why the Barians have their own set of Numbers. Astral is called the Original Number, so I take this as he is conglomerate of a bunch of strong Numbers, and Astral’s whole identity and powers is tied to the Numbers. This is why his memory shatters in the form of Numbers, or how other beings can absorb Astral’s Numbers. The Astrals simply used the powers of the Numbers to create Astral and lock Don Thousand away. I’ll explain this more later when we get to Mizael’s ruins and the whole smitck with the Numeron Dragon because it gets complicated.
BUT if anyone took the Mythyrian Number, whether it was carried out by Astral World, or Barian World, or an Earthling, Don Thousand’s strength will be restored. No matter what, Don Thousand's strengthening is inevitable as long as the characters choose to act on the red path.
For during the path of the “blue light”, or the one that Durbe and Ryouga took, the show hints that the evil Barians maybe aren’t evil. They have another secret to them that we don’t know of. In fact, the legend concludes by mentioning that the heroic Durbe and Mach ascended into Heaven, or into Astral World. This did not happen, of course, since we know of Durbe’s true fate. With Ryouga, his presence with Durbe allows for a crucial scene to play out later in the episodes.  This also steadily connects him to his Barian heritage.
I can’t say much for Rio, but I feel as though the writers were incredibly inept about handling her Barianhood in comparison to Ryouga. They had no idea what to do with her (aside from being a handy-dandy translator and expositioner) and her character suffers for it, but ill get to her later. 
Like, I may have an slight explanation for why Rio stays with the “red light” group. It’s kinda weak, but here we go.
Out of all of the legends, only Nasch and Durbe were not seen to be touched by Don Thousand's direct actions:
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All of the other Emperors had a scene where an Over-Hundred goes into their heart or are possessed by Don Thousand. It is highly implied that Durbe also had the Over-Hundred Number monster enter his heart, but this was not shown since the scene cut away before we find out. Far as I know, Durbe was influenced to become a Barian when Donny made the knights turn on him, and the betrayal of his friends was so heart-breaking that Durbe descended into Barian World. Nasch was… well, ill get to him later too, but Durbe and Nasch could be the only ones who aren’t embedded with the curse. At least, on-screen. 
Whether it happened or not is up for your interpretation, but them staying on the “blue light”, in the path of true heroes, makes sense in this concept. 
Weak, yeah, but if there’s anyone that can explain why Rio is on the “blue light” side, let me know, aside from plot convenience. It’s obvious that the writers wanted Ryouga and Durbe to be together in the death rooms for plot reasons though. 
Moving on, more plays on colors could be seen with the drawings in the Ruins.
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This handsome, colorful fellow is meant to be Durbe. This depiction of him is much different than the one that is shown in (hopefully accurate) flashback. 
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It isn’t known who is responsible for scriptures and drawing in all of the ruins. 
But the person who did this has the right idea of dressing Durbe in this multicolored garb. The story is called the “Legend of the Ancient Hero” and heroes are often associated with the three primary colors: blue is seen his shirt, pants, and helmet; red is seen in his cape; and yellow is seen in his undergarment. Meanwhile, white is a color often associated with purity, peace, and sincerity. All of these colors represent Durbe his legend—as a pure hero. 
Being as he is the first Ruins we visit, using all this imagery to scream to the audience that “the barians are actually fallen heroes! theyre not evil!” is quite a nice, fun touch. 
As well, out of the Seven Emperors, Durbe is the one who tends to be the most pure and heroic. From his deck being based on “holy” objects and his... questionable leadership, Durbe isn’t like Vector. He isn’t cruel or evil; everything he does is “for sake of Barian World” and that’s about it. 
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He knows that if Barian World does not attack Astral World, they will die (and vice-versa with Astral World). His motivations are solely to protect his home and his people. Also, I like Durbe I really do, but he is pathetic as a villain. Literally the worst plans and a bad leader who does not know how to use any of his pieces, but I appreciate his noble goals. He’s funny, Durbe is really funny. He just doesn’t have the heart to be the bad guy; but as a character who acts heroic (his duel with Merag for example), he does it pretty well. 
And to rub my grubby little barian-eatin hands all over Durbe’s heroness, I want to talk about his ace monsters—his Mythyrian, his Over-Hundred, and his Chaos Over-Hundred. 
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Durbe’s Mythyrian Number also serves as his beloved Guardian of the ruins, Mach. This holds true for most of the Emperors due to the Guardians connection to their Emperors during their past life. 
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Now, Durbe isn’t shown with the card like some of the other Emperors, but we likely can infer that he was in posession of the Mythyrian Number, thus being a target of Don Thousand. 
The role of the Mythyrian Number for the Emperors isn’t crystal clear, but what is known is that their being used to seal Don Thousand away. During the original fight between Don Thousand and Astral, Astral won the battle but lost fifty of his Numbers. Among these were the Mythyrian Numbers, which had the power to suppress Don Thousand. I don’t know if it was random chance that the Numbers glided towards the Emperors or it was divine intervention, but what I do know is that anyone who got the Mythyrian original had a good, strong heart and were destined for Astral World. 
My personal theory is that the Barians and Astrals are like Newton’s Third Law, “every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. They complement each other and balance each other out. 
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In order to seal Don Thousand’s Chaos away, the Astrals had to counteract with equal forces of Cosmos. In their true life, the Emperors provided the necessary Cosmos to suppress Don Thousand. The Emperors were supposed to be Astrals anyways; the Astrals just harnessing their powers while they were humans to fight Don Thousand.
Since the Mythyrian Numbers are drenched with the power of Cosmos due to their relationship with the human Emperors, they are the antitheisis to the Over-Hundred Numbers whose powers come from Chaos.
Mythyrian Numbers being based more on Astral World could also be seen in how the Pegasus on the coat of arms is often associated with Heaven, or a messenger from God. And as Mach recounted the ending of Durbe’s legend, he does that color thing. That iconic blue, Astral-like glow.
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With his Over-Hundred Numbers, I think the most interesting thing about it is that the full Japanese name is “Numbers 102: Holy Lightning - Glorious Halo”. These Number monsters represent the Barian Emperors in some way (despite some of them being weird like the giant handy one). The most direct statement to this is when Vector uses the Over-Hundreds to mock Nasch by summoning Durbe and Merag’s monsters (as in “I ate your sister and best friend and these are mine now”), and the entirety of Nasch’s tragic display during his final duel with Yuma. 
So even in death, even as a Barian, even as one of the villains, Durbe is still sainted as holy and adorned with a halo. None of the other Over-Hundred are dressed in such a positive light (if at all). 
When he turns “Glorious Halo” into a Chaos monster, technically putting extra barian sauce on a plate of fried barian, the name changes into “Number C102: Unholy Lightning - Noble Daemon”. Durbe still has the “Noble Demon” attached to him, even with extra evil on him. 
Durbe’s nobility as a Barian makes since if you see that he isn't deeply infused with Don Thousand's curse in comparison to someone like Vector. Or his strong affiliation to keep Barian World safe from harm.  
Plus, as a little extra snippet that I noticed in the episode, I wanna focus on this scene in the ruins.
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This scene is great. It doesn't have much to do with Durbe, but it's an amazing foreshadow. I think by this point, the audience suspects that Ryouga is a Barian. He acts weird sometimes, his past is unknown, he can summon Chaos monsters, the Emperors are missing two and the Kamishiros slide in like a puzzle piece. BUT, I think the most damning evidence is this specific piece. 
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Before entering the ruins, Durbe broke his Baria crystal. He is unable to use his Barian powers nor does he have the ability to fix it. But the moment he saves Ryouga from falling to his death, Ryouga begins to glow that iconic red Barian color. 
Not Durbe, but Ryouga. Ryouga’s energy flows into Durbe, which restores his crystal to full power and allows him to reveal his true form. Since Ryouga is the King of the Barians, Nasch, it makes complete sense that his body has remnants of his Barian life. (why this didnt activate before, idk, maybe shark wasnt in the mood) 
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Watching Ryouga heal a fellow Barian is conclusive evidence that Ryouga, as well as Rio probably, must be Barians, or at least connected to the Barians. 
Even parts of the duel includes Nasch’s legend in it.
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“Labyrinth of Decisions”, “Unfair Treaty”, and “Shield of Conspiracy” are cards used by Mach that fit into Durbe’s story. The labyrinth could be attributed to him leaving the country to aid Nasch in tracking Vector into the Labyrinth of Screams, and the unfair treaty/ or conspiracy is attributed to his own story, where the three knights betrayed the king. 
In the end, the first of these ruins reveals two major plot points about the Emperors with one being much more obvious than the other. First is that there are more to the Emperors than being “plain evil” for the sake of it. Second, the events seen in the ruins hints that this shark-shaped shadow is Ryouga, and he is likely to be the final and missing Barian Emperor(s).
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Of course this isn’t everything. I don’t know why his ruins are in South America (Ecuador, i think, go here if you want to know more about geography) when they say his homeland is somewhere else. 
The Pegasus came from Greek mythology which spawns an interesting connection to the legend of Nasch and Vector. Pegasus was borne from the death of a gorgon (Medusa) and reared by Poseidon (who is attributed to being the god of the seas in most pop culture iterations). Gorgons and oceans is basically the story of Vector and Nasch, and as you know, Durbe and Mach participated in that legend too. 
I’m just so fascination by Emperors and their everything, their monsters, their past lives, their ruins, their planet, their composition. Theyre entertaining to explore bc it feels like the writers put something in them for the audience to discover. They're simply fun, and I'll see you in the next ruins
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ohpretty-baby · 4 years
Text
bts as my sophomore class teachers
a thread because i miss my teachers lowkey
anyways enjoy <3
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first hour: ap seminar with kim namjoon
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super philosophical 
is a fanboy for rosseau, calls him the original gangster
intimidatingly intelligent; like reads 3 books in one day and writes two papers on them intelligent
constantly connecting foundational thinkers/texts to real life situations (ex: echo and narcissus and selfies in social media)
makes you feel like a bad person by questioning your moral motives
there’s never a dull day in his class
seriously
one time we spent the hour evaluating billie eilish’s bad boy and that one “sweet but psycho” song and talked about double consciousness
the next day we did a full 180 and talked about mass burials
then we talked about the refugee crisis the day after that
extremely thought provoking conversations
gives you independence, which is a double edged sword because everyone in ap sem procrastinates
wants students to exceed not only in his class but also outside of school
my irl ap sem teacher helped me figure out that i wanted to go into a career of law !
also an extensive librarian (hence the ability to read 3 books in one day)
if you have the slight interest in something, he has a book for it
i literally have 8 books checked out from my school library because of him
gives you complete and honest ratings of r rated movies and posts them on your schoology board
not afraid to be scandalous
“now everyone say it with me: premarital sex!”
that was something my irl teacher said, that day we shouted out premarital sex about 15 times with the door wide open
amazing music taste
literally
he listens to anything and everything, from french rap to spanish pop and then english folk songs
will dj for your graduation party for free
second hour: honors english with min yoongi
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insanely calm, probably just very sleepy
easy going, chill
you really don’t feel pressured in his class
people goof off in class and are generally very annoying, but he doesn’t care
occasionally lectures students if he really needs to 
communicates what we have to do and then lets us do the work
lets us fail if we’re not responsible
but will understand if you can’t turn in a project if life gets in the way
i still have a project i need to turn in oops-
i haven’t received any negative repercussions tho
lets kids eat in his class and lets them go to the vending machine if they have no food
i go to my locker every morning to get food to eat
eats with us
lets you use your phone and watch netflix
will even ask you what show you’re watching and if it’s good
actually a really good teacher if you pay attention in his class
kids just think they can slack off, they end up failing tho so it’s really none of his issues
for some reason he’s a substitute teacher for a lot of classes
when he subs, the classes are extremely fun 
one time i spent my whole sixth hour talking to him about my costar and astrology
goofs off with the kids
that same day he subbed, my friends were making panoramas of each other and he rated all of them
isn’t strict
cares about his students and is very easy to talk to
because of this a lot of students open up to him
isn’t a snitch
would willingly make fun of classic literature with you
third hour: honors chemistry with kim taehyung
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Super Sassy
always gets the last word when students mess around with him
“what’s your favorite double replacement reaction?”
“my favorite ones are the ones you guys get right; so none”
as you can guess, students love having conversation with him
probably has a dope ass instagram but damnit he won’t let accept anyone’s follow requests
probably because that’s illegal
constant Bad BItch energy
will openly tell students they are annoying without shame
will also openly tell you that you are dumb
once i thought that we had four principals (one for each grade, don’t question it) and my irl teacher was speechless,, like she couldn’t actually say anything at my stupidity
i would willingly sell my soul for my chemistry teacher
always has labs to do, even if they’re not very helpful at times
lets students retake tests by creating a new test 
but they’re actually harder than the actual test
students skip their own classes to visit him
i always skip my 6th hour to go into the chemistry
constantly has to chase away students
actually very sweet and cares about students, but is never really a push over
again, a constant Bad Bitch
fourth hour: honors spanish with kim seokjin
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an even Bigger Bad Bitch
super fun and sassy
fiestas!!!!!!! 
we have fiestas but literally the only Spanish thing we have is chips and salsa and tacos
i’m not kidding
people just bring in cake pops and brownies
will sometimes teach a whole lesson in Spanish just to fuck with us
will also try to hold a conversation with us in Spanish just to fuck with us even more
loves seeing our shocked and confused faces when can’t answer his questions
actually teaches us
gives a lot of busy work but i honestly think that’s the better ways of learning and practicing Spanish, so there’s no complaints
engaging lessons, encourages us to make mistakes so we can be comfortable with the language
veryyyy helpful with pronunciation, makes sure that we know how to pronounce certain words
super trustworthy
once after school i spilled tea with my irl spanish teacher about a messy breakup i had gone thru, it was real fun
we have a theory that one of the senior teachers has a crush on her because he always visits her when he comes to our class
really good teacher but heavily overestimates our ability
especially when it comes to tests
but will admit his wrongs when we don’t do well in class
literally the best friend you wish you had
fifth hour: ap world with jeon jungkook
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literally really pretty
really funny and sweet but his class is hard
not because of the extensive work and the fast pace, but because he doesn’t prepare students enough for saqs, dbqs, leqs, etc.
we still love our ap world teacher bc she genuinely cares about us
teaches an ap class but has never taken an ap class in high school
still teaches even tho he’s sick and his own students have asked him to stay at home so he can feel better
really fun discussion activities, like fishbowls
always drinking tea with a cool ass mug that has all the presidents of the united states on it
wears really cute clothes and coordinates colors
but sometimes will just pull up in pajamas
either way he’s Stylin
makes sure that students know that he doesn’t believe in racism and communism
always tells his students to take care when they say goodbye
draws LOTS of smiley faces
sometimes more confused about the content then the students are
but genuinely kind and hard working, even if it takes him 3 months to grade papers
sixth hour: theology with jung hoseok
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confusing lectures
will talk about persecution in rome and then switch the topic onto blts (yes, the sandwich) and then talk about male circumcision
really goofy
deaf
talks very loudly because he takes his hearing aid out during lessons
honestly a really confusing teacher
a lot of people don’t like his teaching style, and neither do i, but it’s not a hard class so there’s really nothing to complain about
you really just need to read the slides in his class to pass
gives out homework but never grades it
i never turn in homework,,, 
i get a’s on his test and he just gives good grades for every homework assignment
honestly just really sweet and funny even when he tries not to
talks with his hands way too much
will take selfies with you if you let him
constantly asking for validation from his students
“is my teaching style ok? i know it can be confusing but i really try with making lectures funny so you guys won’t be bored”
can sometimes be annoying but everyone loves him because he just doesn’t make sense
literally the best class to do other homework in
sees students as his friends
once we had a public discussion online about our concerns of the coronavirus instead of actually learning about theology
i said that i was worried that i’d die of the coronavirus before i got a boyfriend
he replied to my comment saying “1. you are killing me ! :) 2. i’m sure that you have a lot of secret admirers, so the boyfriend thing is covered, they just need to figure things out. remember maturity happens at different stages for everyone.”
even though i don’t like his class at times, i know i’m gonna miss how crazy he is
seventh hour: honors geometry with park jimin
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Sweetest, Softest, Most Pure of all
gives out candy during tests
but not just any candy
the really good strawberry candies that grandmas always have and never run out of
sometimes the lessons go by too fast but yet too slow at the same time
a Literal Grandpa
doesn’t let kids say “shut up” or “dumb” in his class
claims that he doesn’t even say “shut up” to his own kids
always reminds kids that this is a No Judgement Zone
rewards students who answer challenging questions with little stand-up signs that say “Expert at Work” or “Rockstar” that they can put on their desk
will buy or make little stockings that spell out the initials of the high school
brags about his kohl’s cash
once bought a $50 scooter for only $5 dollars because of his kohl’s cash
stays after school for two hours to reteach lessons to students
takes little strolls around the school building with his friends during lunch
Mental Math Mondays
mondays are when we play mental math card games with the whole class
lets kids make their own card games
will ask if you’re okay if you look sad
will also ask if you’re okay if you look sleepy
asks kids to be patient with him when they have a confusing lesson to teach
wIll thoroughly explain everything to the best of his ability
definitely has never done anything wrong
this made me genuinely miss my teachers even though i hate school with my whole entire heart, soul, and mind! anyways love u guys
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ckret2 · 4 years
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would you mind explaining "Careless whisper" "I will always love you" and "Friend please"? no pressure though!
Oh god you chose two of the meme-iest songs! Both in one post! I can’t believe it!
Okay.
This took me forever to write because I wrote half of it and then got distracted for weeks and didn’t get back to it until I got a fresh ask today with some more songs and I was like, crap, I should finish this one.
So the first three paragraphs in this post still apply here, I’m not gonna copy paste them, go read those paragraphs if you haven’t yet. tl;dr i’m answering questions about why i included songs on my radiosnake spotify playlist because i like rambling for thousands of words at a time, also the playlist is based on a fic i wrote.
Feel free to keep sending me questions about more songs on the playlist. Explanations under the read more, assuming the read more works, which I make no guarantee of because this is tumblr.
Careless Whisper (Lyrics)
… except, the jazzy version.
So lemme tell you a story about how “Careless Whisper” came up and then I’ll explain why it actually belongs on the playlist.
The only way I can outline a story is by sitting down with another person and rambling the plotline at them, copy pasting it into another document, and bam that’s an outline.
Right now, in the disjointed process of outlining a sequel to Cold Day In Hell, I’m sort of chunking random ideas at a couple friends to see what sticks. One idea is that, when Alastor is drunk, he’s 90% worse at pretending he totally doesn’t care about Sir Pentious at all. If they’re ever drunk at the same social event, he will subtly (not subtly at all) follow him around all night like a puppy and hang on to his every word, automatically playing this sort of nonsense in the background.
One of my friends announced sadness that it didn’t start off with “Careless Whisper,” so I checked Postmodern Jukebox (the fastest/easiest/most common way to translate a modern song into Alastor Aesthetic) to see if they had made a jazz cover (they had), and I reassured my friend that the PMH cover definitely played every second song while drunk!Alastor was mooning over (and/or looming over) Sir Pentious.
And then I went oh goddammit the lyrics actually fit, dammit, now I’ve gotta put it on the playlist.
So I put it on the playlist.
Here’s the great thing about song lyrics. Even if everyone knows that the lyrics mean one thing, language is inherently ambiguous and you can totally just decide to read the lyrics a slightly different way if you really really want to and the exact wording doesn’t make it impossible. Everyone KNOWS that “Careless Whisper” is about cheating, but it never SAYS it’s about cheating (like, it says “cheat a friend,” but like the singer could’ve cheated their friend at cards? it doesn’t say), so you can just decide that it’s about any other kind of betrayal in a relationship! Like, say, blowing up your ally’s steampunk airship fleet. The song never says it ISN’T about a steampunk airship fleet.
So let’s just establish right now that this song is no longer about cheating. That’s out the window.
In the original song, “dancing” is probably intended as a metaphor for having sex. In THIS context, it is literally dancing. The emotional core of CDIH, the moment around which the rest of the story rotates, is the night that Alastor and Sir Pentious dance together. And although Alastor no doubt dances plenty of times after leaving Sir Pent, he’s certainly never going to dance like that again—like he’s with a lover, like he wants to be touching his dance partner, rather than either alone or while distastefully putting up with physical contact with someone who doesn’t matter to him.
The interpretation of the line “careless whispers of a good friend” that I think is probably Most Common is that a friend of the singer’s lover warned the lover that the singer is cheating on them, and the singer thinks that the fact that the lover now knows is worse than not knowing at all, because now that the lover knows they can never go back to normal, hence why the friend was being careless. Aside from any questions of, like, whether or not that’s a sound opinion at all—I’ve always interpreted that line differently. Since the singer refers to their lover as a “friend” (“should have known better than to cheat a friend”), I’ve always assumed that the singer would refer to themself as their lover’s friend, and so the “careless whispers of a good friend” were the whispers that the singer themself made that started whatever affair it is they had.
And so that assumption—that the “good friend” that said something they shouldn’t have is the singer—is the interpretation I’m carrying into the song’s inclusion in the playlist. In this case, it’s Alastor’s decision to lie to Sir Pent about how he feels about him (claiming that he never cared & that he was just screwing around with his emotions) before running off that are the “careless whispers” because, although not exactly whispery, they do have the same effect as in the song: ever since he said them, there’s been an unmendable rift between Alastor and Sir Pent (which was, like, his objective, but he’s still not happy about it)—and, more than that, it was very careless. Alastor had intended for his actions to just push Sir Pent away, not to effectively ruin Sir Pent’s ambitions to rule hell completely. But, that’s what happened. Because he didn’t think anything through. He just said and did the very first things he could think of to push Sir Pent away. Extremely careless.
And, of course, the specific version that got included was chosen because it sounds jazzy. Yay for PMJ, making all sorts of songs Alastor-ready.
I Will Always Love You (Lyrics)
… except, the super dark version.
So I figured out at some point that the easiest way I was gonna find Alastor music was through jazz-style covers of songs a la Postmodern Jukebox, 1) because PMJ has been actually mentioned as among the limited varieties of modern music that Alastor would listen to by virtue of the fact that they do covers that sound like what he used to listen to, and 2) because Puff here isn’t actually a fan of jazz and it’s a lot easier for me to slowly wade into the water via jazzy covers of songs I already know than it is for me to fling myself into the deep end like “appreciate Jelly Roll Morton! Appreciate Jelly Roll Morton NOW!!!”
(I am slowly and laboriously training myself to be a fan of jazz, because Alastor is a RADIO HOST from NEW ORLEANS in the ROARING TWENTIES AND A LITTLE BIT OF THE THIRTIES, i will NOT be writing him while in complete ignorance of a subject that probably occupied a huge portion of his life.)
So due to the fact that I was looking for PMJ-esque genre-switching covers of songs, I drifted over to other genre-switching song cover acts like Chase Holfelder to go through the songs and go “hm wonder of any of these work." This song is an exception to the genres I’m looking for for Alastor, but it still makes the list because like, the vibe is just right.
Have y'all ever actually listened to/read the lyrics to "I Will Always Love You” before? Not just the AAAND IIIIIIIII-IIII-IIIIIII WILL ALWAAAYS LOVE YOOOOO-OO-OOOU bit but the actual lyrics. They’re sad. The lyrics are “I deeply love you but if I stayed with you I would only hold you back so i’m going to leave you because it’s for the best but i’m super sad about it and i always will be.”
Now, that doesn’t 100% line up with Alastor’s situation. Because, like, obviously, he was doing the exact opposite of holding Sir Pent back when they were together, and fearing holding Sir Pent back was not the reason he left.
But it is among the reasons he avoids the hell out of him now. The primary reasons, of course, are still “being in love is scary and i do not want to do that so maybe if i avoid him i can continue pretending that i am not in love?” and “lmao he justifiably hates me now so why try"—but #3 on his list is the recognition that, since they broke up, Alastor’s actions have caused a constant cascade of events that have held Sir Pent back ever since. (And Alastor also suspects that there might actually be some kind of legitimate curse or fate or something going on here—that part of Alastor’s role in hell is playing the part of Sir Pent’s personal hellish divine punishment.) So he didn’t leave because he’s sabotaging Sir Pent’s ambitions; but he sabotaged Sir Pent’s ambitions because he left.
And therefore, as a consequence, he should stay away from Sir Pent now. He shouldn’t beg forgiveness and a second chance—because he doesn’t deserve them, and because he might make it worse.
This particular cover of the song really kicks the anguish up into high gear. The most common Whitney Houston version is like, okay she’s brokenhearted, but also somehow somewhat empowered by the brokenheartedness—like even though she’s leaving sad and bitter, in her heart she knows that the decision she’s making is for the best for her beloved, and she can draw strength from that. There is no drawing strength from the decision in the Chase Holfelder version—just using it up. It’s like he’s burning through all of his reserves of strength to push his loved one away. When Whitney hits the big note, she’s pulling power into herself to belt that out. When Chase hits the big note, he’s pouring out every last bit of power left inside his body. You can imagine Whitney walking away from this song with her head held high and her back straight but Chase is just gonna collapse to his knees with his shoulders hunched and head bowed—completely empty, a husk. That’s the vibe I want with Alastor—that every single day of his self-imposed exile he’s losing a little piece of himself, hollowing himself out. He can’t draw strength from it.
Typically, when I’m picking songs for this playlist, I don’t pay much attention to the gender of the singer (my only main priority on this playlist is that by the time it’s done I want the genders of the singers to be roughly balanced on both Sir Pent’s part and Alastor’s part), but in this case I think the fact that the singer is male contributes to it working for Alastor the way another version with a female singer wouldn’t. Not entirely sure why—maybe because, even though the voice doesn’t sound anything like his, it’s easier to actively imagine Alastor singing the song when it’s got a male voice? Maybe because, thanks to Sexism In Society, a woman saying "I’m leaving you because I’d get in the way of your dreams” more easily comes across as “Oh… I am simply not good enough for you… I’d hold you back…” while a man saying “I’m leaving you because I’d get in the way of your dreams” more easily comes across as “I wouldn’t hold you back, I’d push you down. I’m dangerous for you.” And the latter fits Alastor better.
(But hey, if any of you know of any versions of “I Will Always Love You” with a female singer that makes her sound dangerous as hell, feel free to recommend them to me. Not because I’m looking to replace the version I’ve already got but just because I’d really like to hear it.)
Currently, it’s listed as the last song on the Alastor portion of the playlist. I recently reorganized it so that the Sir Pent portions and Alastor portions each flow from the shallowest/most surface emotions down to the deeper/truer/more hidden emotions, and even before I did that reorganization, “I Will Always Love You” has been the closing song on Alastor’s side since it was added to the playlist. That feels like the right note to leave it on: after everything else has been said, once every other layer and lie has been stripped away, the deepest and truest and last thing Alastor would have to say to Sir Pent is “I hope life treats you kind and I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of” and an anguished screaming declaration of love.
Friend Please https://genius.com/Twenty-one-pilots-friend-please-lyrics
So remember when I said that language is inherently ambiguous and if you want you can totally just choose to read words differently if the wording doesn’t actually prevent that interpretation? This song is clearly about suicide. I have decided for the purposes of this playlist it is not about suicide anymore! It’s still about depression but not about suicide! When the singer was like “Please don’t take your life away from me” what he meant is “Please don’t take your life, and also, I am emphasizing that if you do so you are removing yourself from my life to try to show you how much you mean to me,” but how I have decided to interpret it for this playlist is “literally do not remove your life from my life, as in, like, don’t run away and stop talking to me.”
So. As I mentioned in my last song meta post, there’s sort of two—not genres, but like, musical aesthetics that I’m drawing from for Sir Pent: Victorian-ish/steampunk-ish sounds, and emo stuff because Vivz said that’s what he actually listens to. Twenty One Pilots fits the criteria for emo for me—idk and idc if other people consider them emo, they toured with Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco, they count as far as I’m concerned—so they’re actually among the bands I’ve been intending to specifically look at for potential Sir Pent Songs.
For the most part, they’re, like, too good at the sad millennial vibe. But that song works.
“Friend, Please” comes low on Sir Pent’s portion because it’s deep in the more genuine emotions—I’ve actually considered putting it last and may still do so, it would make a nice counterpoint to “I Will Always Love You"—actually I’m gonna go do that, gonna go shuffle the playlist, there, good—and it’s also something that he couldn’t/wouldn’t say until after he knows about Alastor’s deep thoughts. Reinterpreted so that it’s not about suicide, it becomes about a friend who’s still depressed, but the focus of the song becomes about the friend’s self-isolation—a self-isolation that’s fueled by denial and self-delusion, the friend convincing themself that they’re alone, always will be, and can’t/won’t have anyone else in their life again that they can depend upon.
Which, although he doesn’t necessarily seem to be depressed, is certainly the vibe Alastor gives off in the show—that despite his overly-friendly overly-familiar attitude, he probably keeps everyone else at a great emotional distance. In canon he might be okay with that. In fic, he’s doing that at the expense of pushing away a person he loves very much—and then pushing away anyone that could help him cope with that loss. Leaving him very alone and perpetually disguising himself as fine with that. Maybe, when he can go years without having to see Sir Pent, he can be fine with that.
But I have Big Plans for that sequel and you know item #1 on the list is "stick Alastor and Sir Pent in a position where they’ll have to cross paths all the time so that it’s like threading a giant needle with barbed wire, stabbing the needle into Alastor’s heart, and slowly dragging the barbed wire straight through.”
And after that? Living like a ghost, claiming he’s fine when he’s been completely emotionally drained, is gonna be a pretty accurate description of his mental state.
Right now, Sir Pent is in no way close enough to Alastor to know that—and in no way sympathetic enough toward him to care even if he did know. He still hates Alastor for completely ruining his life. But there’s still that part of him that used to care about Alastor and still could come to care about him again. And if that part gets revived, and if he gets close enough to Alastor to see how miserable he’s made himself by trying to push everyone away and denying that he’s pushed his own mental state into as bad a state as it’s currently in, his reaction would be “you absolute dumbass” followed by trying to shout some sense into Alastor by pointing out that every one of his problems is caused not by external factors, but by his own damn screwed-up perception of the world. Like, every one of his problems he made himself, and he can unmake them. He’s just got to uncover his eyes first.
It’s easy for fandom to just, like, characterize Sir Pent as an all-around dumbass—strategically, socially, emotionally, etc. Until and unless we see otherwise—and see it so firmly that even I can’t find ways to headcanon around it, and believe you me, I can headcanon my way around a lot of things—I choose to believe that the only areas he’s definitely a dumbass in are “understanding modern slang” and “remembering NOT to charge into battle without considering the odds the second he sees somebody he hates.” This means that I like to believe he also has a reasonable level of emotional intelligence, and a healthy level of compassion that he can deploy, when he so chooses, on someone he considers worthy of that compassion. He’s evil, yes, but self-professed evil, which means self-aware evil; which means that even though there’s gotta be something fucked up with his worldview for him to choose to be evil, it is a choice he’s making, not something he’s doing specifically because he believes it’s right/necessary. And he can turn it off when he decides he’s with someone that deserves it.
Now, is Alastor on that list? Not currently, hell no. But there’s potential for him to make it on the list—that potential for Sir Pent to care about him again, to want to see him throw off the things that he’s using to hold himself back, to want to see him become better and happier, to want him back in Sir Pent’s life—buried somewhere deep beneath Sir Pent’s burned emotions and decades of resentment.
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cybernightwanderer · 4 years
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“ My Reiki and Yoga New Free Soul Brother - Once an abuser manipulative thieve , money driven leach “
Well thats a big tittle to describe one person entirely. So my ( midle ) brother across my kid years and then teenager developing to adult, my brother was an interesting person. For example, in school my brother would pretend he didnt know me , and if i even dared to aproach him he would shame me in front of everyone, even thought they already knew i was his sister, i was bullied a lot in school so at the start i tried a few times reaching out to him , specially because i didnt have any friends and id always be alone. This motherfucker who was already a teenager completly dismissed me , BUT would actually seek me out or talk to me when he needed lunch money because he already “ spent his”, funny enough hed get mine to eat coz he didnt wanna use his, and if i didnt gave him even though i hadnt eaten , he would guilty me badly , and being the kid that i was , my brother was everything to me , even tho he didnt gave a shit about me.
So in consequence i started drawing a distance line between me and him, at home id start to distance myself and ignore him. And he started getting like a really attention whore, hed always annoye me , and force me to hangout, and i didnt he would threaten me or do some shit at the house and blame me for it , because my mother at the tinniest shit at home would beat the crap out of me , so me being the little kid that i was tired of getting beatings for no random reason , id play along. My brother would literally antagonzie me and scare the shit out of me while so. Everytime my family went anywhere , for example the beach, id try to go to the water alone for some peace this motherfucker would sneak behind me and try to drown me as a joke , like every 5 minutes, id yell in panic and my mom wouldnt do shit, eventually id end up actually chocking on water and  hit my head on the sand and cry the rest of the time. So yeah FUN ! Did my mom do anything ? ofc no , “ hes just playing around “. I had BD collections that id buy with my lunch money that sometimes id save up, disney movie cassettes and so on. Sometimes id have snacks in my room to eat when studying or something. My brother, being a full grown ass teenager that he was , would steal everything without me even catching a glimpse of it. My brother would “ borrow “ things without asking then hide them because he wanted. I had two final fantasy collectible caracters that i spent my leftover bday money on, and my brother would take it as his own. Yes because whatever birthday money i got wether it be 50 euros or even 20 from my grandma or aunt, my mom would take it “ borrowed” for herself with no justification, shed always say “ Ah lend me i need it  / or / I always buy you clothes and everythings, i buy you food , you owe me this , thats the minimum you could do / “ or / she would just take it without me knowing , she would inspect my bday gifts and take it before hand , the problem is that my grandma or aunt would always after if i was gonna save it up and id ask what and they would question what i did with the money and i would ask what money and blah blah , you get where this is going.
OH and if i didnt give my money the money she would beat me up ! wich is funny asf. My brother literally sold all my things behind my back, my original BDS, MY FUCKING POISON IVY STORYLINE BD, my disney cassetes , my collectibles, and my snacks he would steal and eat. If i had saved up money hidden, first he would try to borrow it and guilty me with the “ im such a good brother to you , you cant even lend me money ? i will pay you back, trust me “ ... ofc he never payed me back , but every two weeks he woul do this shit. And if i by any chance didnt gave him , hed just steal, or sell my things, wich regardless of me lending him , he would do it anyway. Fast forward to my early teenage years, i had to start working , i quit school because we entered that internet deth with my moms company, wich my brother also contributed to but let the blame to me ofc, i was already the punch bag of the family what is one more thing. My brothers were always my moms “ babies “ even tho one was already a full grown ass man and the other was already on his way. My brother did nothing at home , didnt take the dog outside, didnt take out the trash, didnt make food, didnt wash the dishes, didnt clean the house, basicly sit on his ass all day playing video games and eating, and selling my shit for money. My brother was unemployed for 3/4 years in between those i studied and worked at the same time , and did all the house chores, even if i had to walk the dog as 2/3 am after work i would have to, even tho my brother was in bed all day. My mom would literally yell at me and make my life a living hell and threaten to hit me if i didnt do it or even dared to complain. I would get home trying to study , trying to recorver at school ,and she would yell non stop until i didn every house chore, wich i would only manage to finish at midnight or later, and then id be too tired and unmotivated to do anything so id just sleep, and id always get late to class thanks to that. When my brothers started working, it was at my dads wearehouse, where i was forced to work too. Id work 8 to 10 hours , sometimes more, because we got payed by publicity stock packs, each pack was worth 1 euro, wich also 1 pack took 1 hour and 15/20 minutes to make. So if i wanted to make the day worth anything i had to rush , no eating breaks or pee breakes. My hands at the end of the day would literally be filled with newspaper and printed paper ink and dirk, and tons of cuts and sores , that would be leeched in paper ink, wich make it hurt even more at the end of the day, and was really hard to take it out. My brother would take breaks every 30 minutes to smoke , be on his phone or even go to bathroom or eat randomly, i wouldnt stop the 8 hours straight, and when i actually had to go to the bathroom or eat something because id get sick, my brother literally stole packs from me, or try to “ negociate my help for X “, the thing about my brother is that hed always try to negociate something , ofc it was always entangled for his own benefit and not both.
So it was like this my brother came up to me all excited and say “ oh if you do this to help me , ill split the profit that way we will make more and will be less exausting “ stupid like i was id always give in, specially because if i didnt  hed steal anyway.... Hed always change his methods and works, and guilty me if i didnt do it, so id always have to do so. If i didnt hed just change the pack registration list either way, without me even seeing it, and fake my signature, i only found out we had to sign an official paper a few months later when my dad asked, before that my brother would always tell me to note them on my phone then send the numbers by the end of the week, and since he was the bosses son , every one backed up that story ofc.  Eventually when i started to get older , i cut ties with my brothers and dad. And my ( midle ) brother was constantly trying to reach out and play nice and shit , also he was still working at the wearhouse . Anyway , fast forward when i got unemployed after the 5 star hotel due to rape attent and shit like that, i was unemplyoyed for 4 moths?! My brother tried to reach out , and even came home before my mother to try and persuade me to enter one of his schemes, i explained to my brother that i didnt have any money and that i wouldnt believe anymore of his stupid schemes and blah blah. He swore he was only trying to make up to me , and the plan was , i would pretend to work at my dads  wearehouse, but i would just be there 2 times a week and he would give me a cut of the protfit, coz if he didnt want my dad to hire some random slow guy, so he set up to do a two persons work, and give me 30 % of the monthy rate and all i had to do is show up a few times for my dad to see i was there, and then go home. That motherfucker insisted for 3 days straight promissing it wasnt a scheme and that he was serious this time. OBVIOUSLY THAT DIDNT HAPPEN OBVIOUSLY- with the last 10 euros i had, i bought train tickers to the wearhouse, the first week he actually stick to his word, a few days later the shit started, he actualy forced me to deliver shit and stuff. Wich for me was really difficult because its when i started to develop hernias, and the pain was too overwhealming, and that fucker didnt care and still forced me to, eventually i told him i was out , and found out he still used my name in his shit plan  and pretended i was still working there to my dad for two whole months , and then begged me to lie to my dad on the phone, hed literally call me before my dad trying to get me to lie, and promissing the money, and hed ask my mom to pressure my to help him. What could i do??!! what happend after you may ask? did my brother gave me the money? OFC NO ! NO! He gave me 115 euros of the cut , and he made 996 euros to himself. And told me it was only for the days “ i actually worked “  NEVER IN MY LIFE  I VERBALLY EVER SAID TO ANYONE , FAMILY OR NOT  “ I hope you die, you are shit , you are nothing to me , seriously i hope you die “ and acually meant it and wished it. For the first time in my life i actually wished so hard for my brother to just die. I was done, i was officialy done , i had never been so done with someone. I was officialy done with my family. I blocked my dad on everything, i told my dad to fuck off. I told my older brother to fuck off. I told my middle brother to go die. And the last person was my dying grandma who was a snob ass piece of shit who only gave a shit about me when i was a little girl ( because its only cute when they r kids  ), to stop trying to call me and told her to just go and die. She literally sent me a voice message of 5 minutes crying beggin me to see her, and i just told her to go and die, its not because she is dying that is gonna erase the fact that she didnt gave a shit about me after i actually grown. And the fact that i did this apparently scared the shit out my dad and brothes, specially because i did it so naturally. AND TO THIS DAY I DONT REGRET WHAT I SAID AND I STILL DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER. OH AND PLOT TWIST SHES NOT DEAD NOR WAS SHE DYING, LAST YEAR SHE TRIED TO SCHEME MONEY OUT OF MY MOM, AND BEFORE THAT SHE WOULD ALWAYS TREAT MY MOM LIKE SHIT AN CALL HER NAMES, FUNNY ! Now they try to sneak into my life really AGAIN ... ffs Since the end of last year, apparently my brother turned into reiki and yoga and shit and is now driving a motivational fuck page for people who wanna “ grow spiritually and open the third eye “ and is trying to reconnect with me again, obviously i cut him off before he could even talk to me. So he spent 3 months or so , coming here and trying, and since he didnt get anything since january and february hes trying to manipulate me behind my mother, my mother is venting to my brother about me being closed off to them , and my brother is DIAGNOSING ME AS A PROBLEM, BECAUSE HE IS SO WISE AND ENLIGHTED... WTF??? diagnosing me??? ur not a fucking therapist you asshole ! The other day i heard him tell my mother in the living room , that “ SHE CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ITS VERY TOXIC FOR HER, SHE HAS TO TALK TO YOU AND BE A BETTER SISTER AND DAUGHTER SHE NEEDS TO BLAH BLAH YOU NEED TO KICK HER OUT IF SHE IS LIVING OFF YOU  “ WHAT THE FUCK?? im living off my mother?? the woman that forced me to give her more than half of my paycheck, thats doesnt give me privacy or respect and that literally threatned me if i ever tried to leave that she would chase me down???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR SEND ME TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL????!!!! ... My older brother is doing the same, keeps trying to get me to go visit his kid, and to meet his kid, keeps trying to get my mother to see pictures of the kid or to call them. They keep trying to guilty me “ oh you cant take it out on the kid, its not the kids fault , he needs to know his aunt, you are his family “ BITCH FAMILY?????? FAMILY??? family doesnt mean shit. Yesterday even sent photos of his kid trought a new number LOL. I actually did went to the kids birthday, first time a few months ago, and guess what , my brother still the NO ONE ASKED- OPINIONATED asshole he was about my whole life, he literally takes one glimpse of me and judges my whole life and starts yelling shit at me ...ofc thats not gonna happend again. People dont change. People. dont. change. PEOPLE DONT CHANGE ! BITCH ?? WHAT? WHO THE FCK?? HOW THE FUCK??? In conclusion my brother is still the same piece of shit he was , and now even more narcisistic, and manipulative, he cant get what he wants from me , so now hes resourting to my mother again. I NEED TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE, I NEED TO LEAVE THIS FAMILY OMFG. Funny enough he does this shit then tries to get me to go to his house to celebrate his birthday because he “ MISSES ME AND THE OLD DAYS” ???? OLD DAYS OF YOU MENTALY ABUSING ME ? NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU ALMOST BROKE MY ARM BECAUSE I WOULDNT LEND YOU MY COMPUTER 3 YEARS AGO????? my mom literally told him we were gonna go there without even asking me if i wanted or even if i was gonna go. LOL, shes trying to emotionally manipulate me with older pictures of me and him , and games we would play together LOL. OMFG PLEASE SOME ONE, I DONT EVEN KNOW I NEED TO DIE OMFG... I CANT TAKE THIS FAMILY ANYMORE.
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kita-lavellan · 4 years
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2019 Writer’s Round-Up
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I was tagged by both @pikapeppa​ and @elveny​ so I figured I’d better put some effort in and try to figure this out. It’s not going to be easy since I have my writings scattered everywhere, including handwritten snippets, but I’ll give it my best shot!
Word Count
I can only really get an approximate number for this since, as I mentioned, my writing is scattered all over. Having said that, I’ve gone through my Googledocs going back to January, checked 4TheWords, double-checked what I’ve posted on AO3, and skimmed my last 3 months of Tumblr Posts, and totally ignored my handwritten stuff (I’m not word-counting that for you :p).
After dividing the word counts from my collaborative Original Fiction pieces by 2, and adding it all together with the help of a spreadsheet...
2019 Total Wordcount: 127,565
Number of Smut Scenes
Three.
A low number for me, but I’ve been writing a lot of original fiction that hasn’t centred around the topic.
New Things I’ve Tried This Year
Science Fiction!
I’m usually a strictly Fantasy writer in my original works, but @skekiss​ challenged me to try my hand at some Sci-Fi, and not only was it surprisingly fun, but it also didn’t turn out terribly, so I might do some more of that next year.
Favourite Thing I’ve Written This Year
My Favourite piece of Original Fiction was that Science Fiction piece my friend challenged me to do. It still doesn’t have a title, but here’s a snippet...
In the year 2421, the colonization of Mars finally became more than a simple societal need to expand, it also became a financially viable option for the over-crowded people of Earth.
The ship, destined to terraform Mars into a planet that humans could not only live on, but thrive upon, was named ‘The Scout’, and set out for the red planet in the year 2436, from a launchpad that had been constructed in international waters.
The Project was funded by nations from across Earth, and ‘The Scout’ was outfitted with the most advanced technology from all of the participating countries.
It was designed to be capable of terraforming Mars into a state that would allow for the development of permanent settlements in a sustainable manner, and construction was completed in under ten years.
The subsequent five years between it’s completed construction and the eventual launch date was spent finding and training a crew of over 3,000 officers, medical staff, scientists, and civilians from all walks of life so that they would be fully prepared for the challenges ahead.
It was a joyous and celebrated day when ‘The Scout’ launched from Earth, it’s state of the art quantum drive meant that travel to Mars would take the ship only sixty days.
Somewhere along their journey between the two planets, ‘The Scout’ encountered the sudden creation of a wormhole close enough to them to disrupt the ship’s controls and, unable to steer away from the pull of the forming singularity, the ship was pulled inside.
By chance, the addition of quantum energy from the ship’s drive core to the forming wormhole stabilised its throat long enough for ‘The Scout’ to emerge from the other side before it collapsed upon itself, stranding ‘The Scout’ and all three thousand souls in an unknown galaxy...
“Kelsey!”
The shout of her name drew her golden-brown eyes from the presentation, complete with an interactive holographic projection, to her employer.
He looked angry, she noticed, which wasn’t surprising really since he’d sent her to get fresh stock from the workshop an hour ago.
“Branner-”
“What do you think you’re doing, girl!?” he snapped as he used his broad shoulders and tall frame to force his way between crowds of early morning shoppers and over to where she was standing.
“Umm…” Kelsey turned her eyes back to the presentation for a moment, the display had continued to explain about ‘The Scout’s’ settlement on an uninhabited planet with permission from the other races of the odd galaxy they’d found themselves in.
The young children were chasing holographic stars and barely paying any attention to their own history, their supervising teacher looked ready to tear her own hair out, and Kelsey turned back to Branner guiltily.
“Nothing?”
He glared at her for a long moment, his own gaze flicking to the presentation and his eyes narrowing.
“Get those ship parts back to the stall, I’ll be along in a minute,” he growled, and Kelsey nodded, moving quickly past him and dodging the smack he aimed at the back of her head with practised ease.
As for fanfiction... I think my Favourite piece of 2019 is probably “Fascinating”. A little Solavellan one-shot I did about my favourite flirt with the bald elf. 
Fascinating can be found here
Favourite Fic I’ve Read This Year
Asking the tough questions now... hmm. I do even less reading than I do writing when my depression flares up, but I’m gonna scour my AO3 for my top 3 of the year...
In no particular order;
1) Begin Again by Anthropasaurus A recent find of mine. There are only two chapters, but AO3 says I’ve visited this fic 7 times, so that should tell you how invested I am already. It looks like it’s going to be interesting and clever, so I’m excited to see where this one goes. Rating: M Pairing: Solas/Lavellan Tropes or Tags: Time-travel, Self Harm/Suicide mention, Angst, Slowburn, Fixit-Fic. Summary: “There’s a small moment, as you’re harvesting a person when you feel their soul almost literally in your hands. All you would need to do is cast your spell right at that moment. We know where my body and Solas were at that time. It’s the only chance we have Dorian.” The years following the Exalted Council had not been kind to Raven or Dorian. Years of thwarting Solas at every turn took everything they and what few allies still survived had. They all knew the end was drawing near and if they didn’t act fast, southern Thedas would fall. But not even Solas could have foreseen what would happen when the Veil fell. Her memories of Redcliffe paled in comparison to the atrocities that now spread across the land. The Evanuris were free and roamed the lands like a plague. Whatever plans Solas had had failed. It had been weeks since she had seen him on the edges of her dreams. She feared the worst.
2) Spark of Hope Series by Elveny I don’t read series often, I like all the story in one place, but Elveny’s Lyssa/Solas story just sucks you in, and you’re clicking “Next Chapter/Next Story” without even realising it until you’ve read the whole thing in one night and are DESPERATELY left wanting for more. *coughs awkwardly* It’s not finished, but there are 147,000 words (approximately) over 5 stories, and a new one coming sometime in 2020, so it’s absolutely worth reading. Rating: E Pairing: Solas/Lavellan Tropes or Tags: Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Emotional Hurt, Break Up, Prequel Story Included. Summary: Everything has gone wrong. Corypheus has opened the orb and the magic did not return to Solas. A giant Breach is throbbing in the air, threatening the whole of Thedas before he is powerful enough to do what he set out to do. Instead of following his plans, he finds himself in Haven, caring for an unconscious elven woman whose palm sizzles with green magic... his magic. He needs to keep her alive if he wants any chance to get it back. But then... she wakes.
3) Elastic Heart by cedarmoons I’ve read this half a dozen times, and the end of the first chapter STILL makes my heart stop >.< This is the fic that convinced me there were actually good Solavellan Writers hiding out there.  I’ve found many since then, but this was my launchpad moment. Rating: E Pairing: Solas/Lavellan Tropes or Tags: None Summary: For the DA Kinkmeme. After making love to Lavellan, Solas accidentally tells her his identity.
Writing Goals for 2020
At least, an easy question! Write More. I’ve had a rough year for writing with many depression flare-ups. I’m hoping that 2020 I can get back to a more regular schedule, starting with a whole day of it on Jan 1st, I’ve cleared my schedule to get some writing time in and have my fingers crossed that it will be a good starting point for the rest of the year.
Thank you’s and Tagging...
Firstly, thank you PikkaPeppa and Elveny for tagging me! I’ve written more this year than I thought I had, and that’s been a lovely surprise, and a bit of a mood boost too. Thank you @skekiss​ for getting me into Tumblr. I’m not sure if I should thank you for this since it’s EATING my life, but regardless, I’ve met some fun people here in the last three months. Also, Thank You to @the-solavellan-archive​ for giving me a place to hang out, and share my Solavellan works, and for welcoming me with open arms ^_^
Now to tag people who may want to take part in this...
@rivainisomniari​, @lyrium-lavellan​, @solas-disapproves​, @cornfedcryptid​, @skekiss​, @faerieavalon​, @ranawaytothedas​
If you feel like doing this and I’ve not tagged you, feel free, and @ me so I can be nosey! :D
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clevercatchphrase · 4 years
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2019 year in review
So… The 2010’s are almost over. Huh. What a decade it’s been. Hard to comprehend how much has changed in 10 years. I can barely believe that I was in high school at the beginning of this decade, and now I’m a college graduate with 2 degrees who’s been working at the same job for the last 3 years. But trying to summarize the past 10 years in a single post is a good way to give myself an existential crisis, so let’s not do that! Instead, let’s just focus on 2019 because there has been more than enough shit that’s happened to me in this year to talk about.
PART 1 OF 2: 2019 AND 2020 GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS
Huh, looking back through my archives, I apparently didn’t make a tumblr post about my goals this year. I definitely had some, though. Lemme list ‘em off real quick, and then we’ll go through them point by point.
1)      Pay off all my student loans 2)      Finish some song comics 3)      Make art for my Redbubble account 4)      Finish the first rough draft/script of a game I wanted to make 5)      Practice ASL 6)      Sew some stuffed animals 7)      Finish some fan fictions 8)      Work on Ghost Switch 9)      AMVs 10)   Do some original writing 11)   Make illustrations for my fan fictions
Okay, first off, the student loans. I was actually SO CLOSE to successfully completing this one bUT THEN MY CAR HAD TO BE A WHINEY PISS BABY AND HAVE ITS ALTERNATOR DIE ON ME WHILE I WAS ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEN A BLOW OUT THREE WEEKS LATER.
GOD, if I had to summarize this year in two words, for me it would be “Car troubles”. I swear I spent more on auto repair in the first third of this year than I ever have just freakin’ OWNING a car. All four of my tires had to be replaced, my alternator failed and my car literally just SHUT OFF while I was driving, and I was barely able to coast into a gas station. Both my front breaks and rear breaks were worn down the metal and I only learned this when my car was barely able to stop after I had to slam the petal down full force!  I went in for an oil change, and they found some problems and then I didn’t get my car back for three days! I don’t even like owning a car! I hate driving! I hate my country’s refusal to provide universal, free public transportation! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!
Oh-kay… number 2. Finish some song comics. I didn’t finish any. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on them. I have made tiny progress, but that’s certainly better than no progress. One of these song comics I hope to be realizes is going to be a collab with one of my friends. It’ll be a long-time coming as it’s pretty low priority for the both of us, but if anyone else out there was disappointed with KH3’s ending, we’re gonna have ya’ covered… With SONG!
3. Make some redbubble art. I actually did this one! Not in the way I expected, but I added (technically) 3 new designs to my redbubble in the middle of the year. If you like butterflies and dragons, I got some product for you~!
Number 4, finish a script for a game I want to make. I… thought about this. I thought about this a lot, but I never put pen to paper, so… oops. It almost happened! I debated making this my main writing project for NaNoWriMo this year, but ended up having more inspiration for another story. Maybe next year? (god, I hope not. I don’t want to wait a full year just to write something)
Number 5, practice ASL. I just straight up didn’t do this and I only have myself to blame. Still keepin’ up that Danish Duolingo streak, though. 4 years going strong and not a day missed yet.
Number 6, sew some stuffed animals. Again, another one I just straight up didn’t do, but I have an excuse of trying to save money while my car crashed and burned in every other sense except literal this year. Hopefully 2020 will be different. I’ll definitely be able to pay off this last loan within the first half of 2020, and then I can start saving for whatever I want to buy.
Finish some fan fictions was number 7, and I did this! Well, I only finished, 1, but it was a story I’ve been working on for over 3 years, and it came out to over 200 THOUSAND words long, which is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of myself. Now that the big story is out of the way, and I’ve gotten into a good rhythm of working on Ghost Switch, maybe I can squeeze in some short writing sessions more frequently. (either that, or just wait for my car to break down again and then go on a writing spree in a pepboys. The lord and the fan fic discord know that’s solely why I finished my other fic this year)
Speaking of Ghost Switch, working on it was a goal this year too, and I did that! I kept it up all year and took a vacation in November and it was wonderful. While the major plot points have been in place since before I started drawing, I still need to script each arc beyond Snowdin, but hey, by the time we get there, it’ll be 2022 so I got time. (Note, don’t do this, kids. Script your stories and comics thoroughly before publishing. The road I’m on is paved with misery and pain and it will only end in tears unless I change lanes soon)
Number 9, amvs. Do people make AMVs anymore? Idk… the last one I made was... Jesus, 5 years ago? (it was a gravity falls/fall out boy crossover, if you were curious) I’ve been wanting to do 2 more for just as long, but in order for me to do that, I’d have to spend time re-watching the shows to find the footage, and then actually edit them together, and I just don’t…. feel like it. Maybe someday, but not any day soon.
10; do some original writing. I did this! For nanowrimo! I wrote the first draft of some original fiction I’ve been planning for a year or two now and it completely sucks! But it’s on paper now and I’m happy. Will I revise and edit it? Sure, but not for a while. I want to let it sit and forget about it and look at it with new eyes months from now so I can be sure I can make it better when time comes to rewrite.
11, make illustrations for my fan fics. Now that You Monster is done, I want to go back and add pictures to it. I didn’t do any this year, but I did keep a list of scenes I wanted to draw, so I have plenty of ideas to do as warm up sketches next year~ I kinda want to stream them~
So, that was 11 goals, and I successfully fulfilled 4 of them! That’s! Not a very good ratio… QmQ So, goals for 2020. Some I’m gonna keep from this year, some I’m gonna drop and some I’m gonna add. In short I would like to,
1)      Finish paying off that last student loan 2)      Put more stuff on my redbubble 3)      Illustrate my own fan fics 4)      Sew at least one stuffed animal 5)      Make an enamel pin 6)      Read one new book a month 7)      Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic 8)      Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make 9)      Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch 10)   Boost my patreon
Most of these I think are pretty self-explanitory, but I’ll go into detail just a bit because I’m on a roll and typing my thoughts helps me feel less alone in the middle of the night when you’re super tired and you know you should probably go to sleep, but the toddler in you is throwing a tantrum and doesn’t wanna go to sleep just yet, but you can’t fight the progression of time either way.
Number 1- I should be able to reach this goal by the end of March. End of June at the absolute latest. Once that goal is met, my secret new year’s resolution will be unlocked as well!
Number 2- I want to put more art of my OCs on redbubble. These OCs are tied to the game I want to make. There’s already some art of them up there, but I want at least one piece for each character.
Number 3- Mostly for You Monster. Embrace the cardinal rule of fan fic and apply it to fan art. If you want to read about see art about certain ideas, scenarios, or what-ifs, you gotta make it yourself.
Number 4- I have 3 potential ideas to sew. One is definitely leagues easier than the other two and will probably be chosen if/when I have the time and materials.
Number 5- This year I got really, REALLY into the idea of making enamel pins. Unfortunately it’s a pretty big investment (like, $350 to make 100 pins you  might not even sell). If this happens, it’ll probably be towards the end of the year, and if I get enough interest. I’m currently torn between making an original enamel pin and one based off Undertale. We’ll just have to see where this goes.
Number 6- Back in 2018 when I paid off one of my many student loans, I rewarded myself by spending over 200 dollars in used books. All these books had a theme; they were focused on dragons because I have a problem. I have not yet read a single one of these books I have bought, and I would like to fix that. I have, like, 20 unread dragon books, and even if I only read 12 out of 20, I would consider that an amazing accomplishment and money well spent.
Number 7- I currently have about 8 different WIPs I could work on. (well, I don’t know if I can even call them wips. More like, a general idea and a title written down.) I want to build good writing habits, and if I can write just 200 words a day, hell, even 200 words a week and just one of my 8 stories done, I would consider this goal met.
Number 8- I’m torn between making my game in unity or ren’py. I know jack shit about both. Ren’py is more user friendly, but unity will allow me more customization. (Lol, can you guess what kind of game I want to make yet?)
Number  9- I really just want the full story to be done and written incase anything goes horribly terribly wrong in my life and I find myself unable to continue making ghost switch in comic form. Then at least I can finish the story by other means, you know?
Number 10- It always surprises me every month when I get that patreon email saying I got paid. Sure, I don’t even make double digits on it, but it still awes me enough to know that people out there like my work enough to throw me a tip. I can’t thank my patrons enough for supporting me and I hope to one day be in such a good place I can update my comic/song comics/writing frequently enough without need for goals or milestones. But until that magical day arrives, money is always a great incentive for anything, I suppose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 ALRIGHT. PART 2 OF 2: SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2019
Cheesus crust what a year. This year started off great! Back in late January Kingdom Hearts 3 FINALLY released, and let me tell you a little story. Back in the summer of 2006 I was a 13 year old middle schooler with no way of making money other than by doing house hold chores at a rate of 25 cents a task. A few weeks ago, I had a sleep over at a friend’s house and they let me play this weird game called “Kingdom Hearts” and god, I was instantly hooked on it. That summer, I did over 800 chores, enough to earn myself 200$ and buy myself a playstation 2 (just in time for the ps3 to come out, gg me) The only games I had for the ps2 were KH1, 2, Re:CoM and Okami, and I beat them all… except Okami. Miffed that the PS3 wouldn’t allow for backwards compatibility, little 13-year-old me made a promise. I looked myself in the mirror and said “I will not buy the next playstation console until KH3 comes out, AND BOY that was probably a good choice for me to make with my level of gaming. I’m even less of a casual gamer than the average casual gamer, but I have been waiting 13 years for this piece of closure, and I even told my friends and family that “the day Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out is the day I will buy a playstation 4”. My dad apparently thought this was the funniest shit, because he literally took the day off from work that Friday to drive me on base to get the game and console (he thought it would be less crowded than a regular walmart, I suppose). I paid $400 on a ps4 pro while he bought me the game. Again, I have an impecible sense of timing seeing as the PS5 is now right on the horrizion, but just like before, I’m not buying a new console until the next KH game is released. See you in 2045, sony~. While I was at the gamestop on base, I also picked up Okami HD and The Last Guardian. For all of February and even early March, I took my time playing through KH3. And…! It was the best disappointment I’ve ever played. After a month away from gaming, I started The Last Guardian and finished it in a couple weeks. I love trico and would die for him, but trying to get 100% completion on that game is udder insanity. Okami, HD, however… again after a month break after finishing TLG, I started replaying Okami. I think I had only managed to get about halfway through the game before I just… stopped playing it on my ps2 version. I am currently SO CLOSE to getting a 100% on the ps4 version. In fact, I’ve beaten the game. I only (techinically) need 2 more trophies to be done; 1st, escape the water dragon without being eaten, 2nd, I need to beat that dumb stupid race with Kai, in order to get the last bead on my rosary, as well as the top dog trophy. I hate her so much. I hate this race so much. It’s awful and bad.
Flash forward to December! Earlier this month I was at Barnes and Noble, buying myself a planner for 2020. I exit the store and notice that there’s a gamestop across the street. For shits and giggles I go inside to look at their game selection, and I find KH 1.5 and 2.5. Now, my PS2 died a few years back (it just won’t read my discs anymore, I don’t know why) and I haven’t been able to replay any of my other kingdom hearts games since. If you had seen me the day I finished kingdom hearts 3, after the ending credits rolled, you would have heard me say “Man…. I wish I could play kingdom hearts 2 again”. AND NOW I CAN, ALONG WITH BBS which I had never even played yet, but knew the story of. I’ve restarted playing kh1, and I was so happy to hear that familiar music when I booted the game up for the first time. While at the game stop, I also picked up Rime and Tearaway, two games that had looked interesting to me. At the time of writing, I’ve finished Rime and am 25% done with tearaway. Rime was…. An interesting experience. I learned about it through Jacksepticeye’s channel a couple years back and thought the art style was enticing. For a super casual gamer like me, I found the puzzles just the right level of challenging and exploring was a blast! The music gave me VERY strong Princes Mononoke vibes, but the overall story left something to be desired. Overall I had fun, and enjoyed completing this game to 100%. Now for tearaway. Can I just say this game is super fucking adorable? I know the original was on the ps vita and the gameplay there was arguably more diverse and imaginative, but this game is just so fucking cute I don’t care?? ALSO, this game’s sound track is ABSOLUTELY incredible and I’ve only heard the first fourth of it! Listen to The Orchards, Pig Riding, and Gibbet Hill Pilgrimage for a taste of their wonderful beats and fantastic use of string and woodwinds! God, I’m so excited to get some more games in 2020. I’m proud to say I currently own more ps4 games than I ever did with my ps2 (and now the majority AREN’T Kingdom Hearts titles!), and I’m still hoping to play Journey, The Witness, and Abzu before everything becomes ps5.
What else happened to me this year. Oh, I went to a doctor for, like, the first time in seven years. I also had my blood drawn for the first time ever, and the nurse said the most disturbing thing to me while she did it. Now, whenever I get shots, I refuse to look. I did that here. So she thought it would be appropriate to say to me “Can you feel your blood leaving your body?” Lady… You can clearly see I am uncomfortable with what is happening here. Why, of all the things you could say, did you choose to say that. Unfortunately, while my doctor is nice, she keeps wanting to run tests on me, that I just cannot afford with my current salary, and my monthly insurance is about to go up to 200$ a month, so I’ve cancelled my next appointment with them, and don’t plan to go back until it’s absolutely necessary. Capitalism is fun, guys. Preventative healthcare is for wusses.
I started going to a chiropractor on a monthly basis. Story time- I don’t know when it started, but sometime late last November I began to notice that I had a headache that just... wasn’t... going away? And each day it was starting to get a little worse. It made it hard for me to find a comfortable position to sleep, it made it hard for me to be in bright areas or move fast. So I said to myself “Okay, if this headache persist through the month of december, then something is proooobably wrong and I should go see someone about it. And hoo-boy were thing wrong with me. By the time this January rolled around, I couldn’t even stay on my feet for more than a few hours without it physically hurting to just BREATHE. So I started going to this chain called The Joint (A+ name, I know). THey aksed me “How are you doing?” I said “I’m in pain” and they said “We can help fix that!”. I’ve only been to a chiropractor once before in my life a few years back after my freshmen year of college because I began to notice my hips weren’t able to support me? LIke, I would lie on my back, and I couldn’t push my hips up when my feet were flat on the floor. I also couldn’t climb anything steep, because my legs just couldn’t push me up if my knee had to bend more than 90 degrees when I lifted my leg up. (Turned out both my hips were apparently out of place). This time only one of my hips were out of place (which they fixed. they said one of my legs was an inch “longer” than the other because I had been leaning all my weight on one leg when I stand). But two of my ribs were apparently “Stuck” which was why it was hurting for me to just breathe, and one of my shoulders was missaligned too, causing one of my trap muscles to constantly be streched, which was pulling on my skull, and causing the headache. Anyway, after they popped all my bones back into place, I still felt terrible, but by god, that night was the first time in weeks I was able to sleep without a migrane. A chiropractor can’t magically heal your arthritis, or fibro, but I definately think they have merit to keeping your posture good and helping your body with things like circulation. 10 outa 10, would recomend. It’s all the fun of getting your neck snapped without the dying!
Earlier this month I got together with two of my friends and we baked Christmas cookies. It was a lot of fun, as well as a great learning experience. A member of my family has a gluten allergy, so we used rice flour for most of the cookies. We learned this is a bad idea! The cookies will just fall apart! A few member’s in one of the friend’s family have nut allergies. Other friend and I knew this and were careful to avoid cookie recipes with nuts, bUT THEN COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT ALMOND MILK AND ALMOND EXTRACT COUNT AS NUT. IN FACT, ALMOND EXTRACT IS PURE CONCENTRATED NUT JUICE AND WE FELT SO BAD FOR ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY POISONING THE FAMILY.
Earlier this year me and these same friends took a field trip to Hobby Lobby and just dicked around the store for a couple of hours. It was super fun, 11 outa 10, would recommend, a great date idea for your artsy S.O.
Back in May I went to a wedding for the first time in my life. (well, not true, but the first one I could remember) we left at 5am, drove 5 hours to get there, hung out at a zoo and spent the night in a la quinta before the wedding day. I slept on the bathroom floor because my mom was snoring too loud in the main room and keeping me awake, and the rest of the day was just spent me trying to keep myself together because I was pissed off and tired.
Other than all of that, nothing really major happened to me this year. I guess one more thing I’ve tried to do this year is started the process of breaking certain internet addictions so I can use my free time for more personal projects. Seriously, I found myself watching way too much youtube and following blogs that didn’t even make me happy. I had a personal intervention with myself where I sat down and asked myself, “why do you watch these videos and youtubers? Why do you follow these blogs? Do you really enjoy their content? Do you really care? If you stopped watching/following them, would you even notice?” After critically thinking it over, I’ve found myself unfollowing several channels and blogs and suddenly I feel so much happier. I thought I would miss it, but I realized I didn’t really care if I saw their content or not. I wasn’t missing much. And now I feel like I have more time to draw, read and write. If you think you spend too much time consuming and not enough time creating, I suggest you try and de-clutter your internet habits as well. It’s done wonders to un-fuck my headspace.
And… well, that about sums up my year. How are your holidays going? Anything fun, exciting, dramatic happen to you this year? I hope your new year is warm and safe! Good night, everybody!
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hollymartinswrites · 4 years
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Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh Characters: Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier, Ben Hanscom, Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough, Mike Hanlon, Original Child Character(s) Additional Tags: Fix-It, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Domestic, Light Angst, Family Feels, Childhood Trauma, Adoption, Kid Fic, Adopted Children, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Marriage, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier Are Parents, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends Summary:
Eddie and Richie embark on the most terrifying experience of all—parenthood.
Or, the author desperately needed a domestic, family fix-it for Richie and Eddie.
Chapter II: A look into Richie and Beverly's friendship as parenthood is thrown into the mix.
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“How many godfathers can one kid have?”
“Richie, we’re agnostic.”
“Hey, I believe in God, I just don’t trust organized religion,” Richie replied, hanging the framed Princess Leia poster before stepping back to observe it. “Or any organizations, now that I think about it.”
“It’s crooked. Move it to the right like an inch,” Eddie said. “And she doesn’t need godparents.”
“Course she does,” Richie said, maneuvering the frame slowly as if it were a tempermental bomb. “I mean, obviously Bev will be godmother and I guess that means Ben should be godfather but we can’t play favorites with the guys like that.”
“Did you have godparents? And it’s straight now, quit messing with it.”
“Yeah,” Richie said. “My great uncle Jim and my mom’s cousin Valerie. I’ve told you about her before. She took me to my first Pride when I was twenty because surprise, she was a lesbian and no one knew. Even though she and her roommate Laura shared a one bedroom apartment in New York.”
Eddie laughed and shook his head.
“I’d pay money to see you at Pride as some lanky, awkward kid,” he said.
“Oh man,” Richie said, grinning, “I was such a twink back then.”
“And what the hell are you now?”
Richie shrugged.
“I don’t know. Sloppy otter? Is that still a thing?”
“You’re asking the wrong guy,” Eddie said. He gazed around the room and his smile widened. “I gotta say, this is a pretty awesome kid’s room.”
“Hell yeah it is,” Richie replied, stepping beside his husband and putting his arm around his shoulders. “She’s gonna love it.”
They were both silent for several long moments, content to simply be in one another’s presence in their child’s room when Richie squeezed Eddie’s shoulder.
“I can’t believe it’s finally happening,” he admitted softly.
“I know,” Eddie agreed. “You’re gonna be a good dad.”
Richie colored briefly before gently hip-checking Eddie.
“So are you,” he said.
Eddie merely smiled.
Richie picked up the phone on the second ring.
“Bev!” he shouted.
“Richie!” she shouted back, laughing. “How are you?”
“Oh, you know, exhausted, covered in glitter, and haven’t showered in days,” he replied. Lydia lifted up her latest drawing and he gave her a thumbs up. She grinned and grabbed another piece of construction paper. “So just like college all over again.”
Bev laughed.
“I wish we went to college together,” she said wistfully.
“Oh, we’d be expelled instantly if some university was stupid enough to accept both of us,” he said. “So what’s going on?”
“Well, I finally had time to sit and watch all the videos you sent yesterday,” she answered. “And I have to say, Lydia is the sweetest, smartest, cutest kid I’ve ever seen.”
“Aw,” Richie said. He moved the phone away from his mouth and loudly whispered, “Lyds, my friend Bev thinks you’re cute and smart and sweet.”
“Who’s Bev?” Lydia asked.
“My friend, you’ll meet her soon.” Richie returned the phone to his ear. “When are you and Ben coming by?”
“Soon, I hope,” she said. “Ben’s finishing up a big project but this summer should be free and clear. What about the other Losers?”
“I don’t know, I want to do a BBQ with all of you so you can meet Lydia at the same time,” he said.
“I don’t like BBQ,” Lydia pointed out. “I like macaroni and cheese.”
“I’ll make macaroni and cheese, I promise,” Richie said.
“You cook now?” Bev asked.
“Don’t sound so surprised,” he shot back. “I had been surviving on my own for twenty years, thank you.”
“I just can’t believe you’re a dad now,” Bev sighed wistfully.
“Well, you better believe it because I lost the receipt so this kid is nonrefundable,” he said, reaching out and tussling her hair, causing her to playfully bat away his hand.
Bev laughed.
“You sound happy, you know that?” she said.
Richie blinked. He hadn’t really thought about it but he supposed he was. A warm wave filled his chest.
“Yeah, I guess I am,” he said, clearing his throat.
“Am I making Trashmouth emotional?”
“No way,” he insisted. “I never get emotional and I definitely did not cry when we watched Moana the other night.”
“Yes, you did, Papa!”
“Shh!”
Bev laughed again and Richie grinned.
“Don’t worry, Ben cries at everything so your secret is safe with me,” she said. “I’m going to talk to him tonight about vacation days. You have to let us know when you’re free, though.”
“We’ll make it work, don’t worry.”
“Yeah, but I know Eddie’s always busy at work and you two are the ones with a kid.”
“We’ll make it work,” Richie repeated.
“I feel kinda bad though,” Bev admitted. “Won’t Lydia be overwhelmed by a welcome party filled with grown-ups?”
Richie blinked again. He hadn’t thought about that. He glanced at his daughter, happily tracing her hand on a piece of pink paper and swallowed.
“She has some friends from her school,” he said slowly. “I can invite them for her.”
“I just don’t want her bored or frightened,” Bev continued. “I remember the few times my dad took me to see family, I was the only kid. I hated it. Everyone talking over you and then yelling if you dared to look bored.”
Richie swallowed again and looked down at the table. He had always hated it when Bev spoke of her father but he was smart enough to know to shut up and listen.
“Anyway,” she said brightly, “I just want her to have fun.”
“She will. We’ll make it fun.”
“And Ben and I already got her a bunch of presents.”
“Oh no,” he groaned. “We specifically said no presents.” Lydia’s head immediately shot up, eyes wide and bright. “She’s spoiled enough as it is.” Lydia shook her head fervently.
“And send us her size, I saw some super cute clothes the other day,” Bev continued.
“Bev, no—”
“Yes, Richie,” she insisted. “I love you but I’m ignoring you.”
“Bev, I swear—”
“I gotta go,” she said quickly. “I love you, Trashmouth.”
Richie sighed but smiled warmly.
“I love you, too,” he replied gently.
“And I love Lydia even without meeting her yet.”
Richie’s heart did something intense, and it knocked the breath out of him.
“Richie?”
“Yeah, no, thanks, Bev,” he said quickly.
“Alright,” she said, laughter in her voice. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
Richie placed his phone on the table and tried to gather his thoughts. It was harder than usual.
“Look at this one, Papa,” Lydia announced, lifting another colorful and glittery drawing. A large percentage of said glitter slipped off and fell onto the table. “Oops.”
“That’s a beaut,” he said and sniffed. “My friend Bev said she loves you.”
“That’s nice,” Lydia replied. “And she bought me presents?”
“Yeah, but you don’t need anything.”
“But maybe she got me something I don’t have,” Lydia pointed out.
“Airtight logic, as usual, kiddo,” Richie admitted.
Lydia smiled and clapped her hands together in an attempt to clear them of glitter, frowning when it did nothing.
“I think we gotta hose you down,” Richie observed. He glanced at the clock. “And soon, before your dad walks in and has a conniption.”
“What’s a conniption?”
“It’s what happens when your dad comes home and sees what a mess your papa has made,” Richie answered, standing. “Come on, let’s get you and all of this cleaned up.”
Richie finished loading the dishwasher, closed it, set it, and immediately sat down in the closest chair, suddenly exhausted. He barely flinched when he felt arms curl around his shoulders and a chin rest on the top of his head.
“You okay, buddy?” Bev asked gently.
“Yeah, just tired,” he replied. “Too much excitement for one day.”
Bev nodded and leaned down to place a kiss on his head.
“You sure you’re good?” she asked again.
“Yeah, but just...can you do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“Can you tell me if my hair is thinning up there?”
Bev laughed and flicked his ear.
“No, it’s as thick and messy as ever,” she replied. “But you do still have a fivehead.”
“Shut up.”
Bev squeezed his shoulders and then sat in the empty chair closest to him. A golden glow from the setting sun streamed through the open windows, and they could hear the rest of the party—Losers catching up and laughing and children shrieking with delight at whatever delighted five-year-olds—but it was mercifully quiet in the kitchen.
“I’m glad you invited her friends,” Bev said. “She needed some people her age to counterbalance all of us boring grown-ups.”
Richie nodded.
“Yeah, but she had fun with you and Ben earlier,” he said. “I guess she’s used to being the only kid around with just me and Eddie.”
“Do you think you guys will adopt again?”
Richie swallowed and shrugged.
“I don’t know, I mean, we’re still getting the hang of having just one kid,” he sighed. “But I wouldn’t want her to be an only child. They’re kinda weird, no offense.”
Bev laughed.
“They’re also lonely,” she pointed out, “so I wouldn’t recommend it for her, either.”
Richie felt compelled to hug her but settled for taking one of her hands in both of his, resting them on the table. They were both silent for a long moment, and he tried to ignore the fact that Bev was gazing at him expectantly before he cleared his throat.
“Bev, I…I’m scared.”
She quirked her head to the side and gazed at Richie with mild confusion on her face.
“Scared of what, Rich?”
“Fucking everything,” he admitted, not meeting her eyes. “What if I’m in over my head?”
Bev squeezed his hands.
“I’m not a parent,” she offered gently, “but I think that’s a common side effect.”
Richie sighed and shook his head.
“And you’re not doing this alone,” Bev continued, reaching out with her free hand to brush a strand of hair behind his ear. “You’ve got Eddie. The two of you are doing a great job. You can tell just by looking at Lydia.”
Richie’s chest tightened.
“Lydia’s amazing,” he admitted. “But she was amazing when we adopted her.”
“Rich—”
“And Eddie...” he swallowed and looked up at Bev, “I’m scared I forced him into something he didn’t want.”
Bev appeared genuinely shocked.
“Richie, that’s impossible,” she insisted.
“I don’t know.”
“Do you think for even one second Eddie would move across the country and endure years of all that bureaucratic bullshit and constant, needling, in-depth assessments from social workers for something he didn’t want?”
Richie swallowed and looked down again.
“He loves you,” Bev said gently, leaning in closer to her friend, “but he doesn’t love you that much.”
That startled a laugh out of Richie. He wiped at his nose and sniffed. Bev used her free hand to wipe at his face.
“You’re just tired,” she observed. “Tired and overwhelmed at having all of us here and showing off Lydia.”
“Hey, do you guys have any...what’s going on?”
They both looked up. Ben was standing in the doorway looking not unlike a deer caught in the headlights.
“Nothing, nothing,” Bev said quickly.
“Yeah, nothing, just your girlfriend bullying me about my forehead, that’s all,” Richie replied. Ben smiled but he still looked unconvinced. Richie continued, “You need something, dude?”
“Oh, yeah, just wanted to grab a drink,” Ben said.
Richie motioned towards the fridge and Ben opened it, reached in, and pulled out a juicebox. He glanced down at it in his hand and then smirked at Richie, his eyebrows raised.
“Hey, don’t knock it, mix that with a little vodka, fucking delicious,” Richie insisted. “That’s how I get through Lydia’s gymnastics classes.”
Bev smirked and slapped him lightly on the knee, earning a yelp from Richie. Ben shook his head, still smiling, closed the fridge door, and immediately pushed the straw through the top of the juicebox and sipped.
“Hmm,” he said after a few moments’ consideration, “not bad, actually.”
“See?” Richie replied. “There are some benefits to having a kid.” Ben sat at the table beside him and affectionately patted him on the shoulder. Richie glanced at him and bit the bullet. “So, not to sound totally straight, but are you guys thinking about having kids?”
Ben’s eyes widened and his lips tightened around the straw. Bev rolled her eyes.
“We don’t know, Rich,” she said gently. “Though we are running out of time.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m well over forty.”
“We’re all well over forty.”
Bev gave him a pointed look and realization washed over Richie’s face.
“Oh, yeah,” Richie muttered. “Who gives a shit? I read about a woman in India who had a baby at seventy.”
“I don’t plan on going for that,” Bev laughed.
“Besides, you and Eddie have inspired us to at least look into adoption,” Ben replied.
“Oh yeah?” Richie said. “Nice. Well, if you need advice, talk to Eddie. I’m a mess.”
“Richie…”
“I’m serious,” he insisted. “I know we only got approval because of him.”
“Come on, that’s not—”
“It is true. I mean, who would you let raise a kid? A shitty and foul-mouthed comic with crazy hours and a drinking problem he only just got under control or the responsible, completely organized nerd in polo shirts?”
Ben and Bev were both silent and Richie realized he had, once again, gone too far. He racked his mind to rectify the situation—a joke, an impression, a scream, anything—when he was saved by the backdoor opening and Eddie appearing in the doorway.
“Hey, Lydia’s friends are getting picked up,” he said. “You wanna come say goodbye with me?”
Richie stood.
“Sorry, folks, parenting duty calls,” he said casually and offered a lop-sided grin before leaving Ben and Bev in the kitchen.
He’s late.
What time is it by you?
7:32.
Well, didn’t he say he had a dinner meeting?
Yeah, at 5. wtf
I’m sure he’s just sitting in traffic. He’ll be home soon. Don’t worry.
I’m not worried. I’m fucking pissed.
He can’t help it if work is crazy, sweetheart.
He could’ve called out. I’m by myself over here, neck deep in snotty tissues and crying kids.
Richie glanced up from his phone at the sound of keys in the front door. Fucking finally, he thought. The door opened and closed and it seemed to Richie that Eddie purposely took a long time to get from the foyer to the living room, where he was sitting on the couch with Lydia’s feet in his lap and their youngest curled up against his side, drooling onto his shirt. They were still passed out, mercifully.
Eddie walked into the living room and quietly stepped up to the couch.
“Hey,” he whispered. “How are the girls?”
“Lydia’s fever broke,” Richie sighed, “but I think it’s going into her chest. She keeps coughing. And Tess is just congested and keeps puking up the medicine so that’s been fun.”
“She hasn’t kept any of the medicine down?”
Richie shook his head and shoved his fingers beneath his glasses, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
“Fuck, we gotta get her to take it,” Eddie said.
“No shit,” Richie snapped. He tensed when Lydia stretched in her sleep but she remained asleep.
“I read about another brand online today,” Eddie said, leaning down to run his fingers through Tess’s dark hair. “Supposedly it doesn’t have any of that artificial flavoring shit. That’s probably what’s making her sick.”
Richie shrugged, too exhausted to even comment. Eddie glanced at him, raising an eyebrow before continuing, “I’ll pick some up on the way home tomorrow.”
Richie’s head shot up and he stared at Eddie, stunned.
“You’re going into work tomorrow?” he asked dumbly.
“I gotta, but just for half a day. I’ll be home early.”
“Like you were today?”
Eddie straightened and shook his head.
“I’m too tired for this right now,” he sighed.
Richie’s eyes widened. For a moment, he couldn’t see straight.
“You’re too tired?” he repeated, his voice strained.
Lydia moved again, sighing in her sleep before being rattled awake by a violent cough. Richie and Eddie both reached for the glass of water on the coffee table, but Lydia got to it first before immediately gulping down half of it.
“Easy, kiddo,” Eddie murmured, taking the glass from her when was done. “How are you feeling?”
Lydia answered by coughing again, covering her mouth with her arm like her dad had showed her. Tears sprang to her eyes and her nose began running. Richie handed her the tissue box and ran his fingers through her unruly curls.
“My throat won’t stop tickling,” she finally gasped out.
“Your sinuses are draining, that’s probably it,” Eddie said before reaching towards his briefcase he had left on the floor. He opened it and brought out a bag of cough drops. “I made sure to get the lemon ones.” He unwrapped and handed her one, and she immediately popped it in her mouth before settling back down on the couch.
Richie glanced over at Tess. She hadn’t even stirred from the commotion. He was also quite sure some of the drool on his shirt was snot, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
“Look, you’re home now, I’m gonna go take a shower, okay?” he said, gently moving Lydia’s feet off his lap and placing a pillow beside Tess. Without waiting for an answer, he hurried to the bedroom, leaving Eddie staring after his retreating back.
Richie, admittedly, took a particularly long shower but he felt he deserved it. A full day and a half of battling germs, miserable kids, and the occasional pukefest could wear a man out. Eddie’s extra-early alarm this morning certainly didn’t help, nor did his apparent reluctance to pick up the phone. Richie allowed himself one bang against the shower wall with his fist before concentrating on his breathing and allowing the warm water to undo the tension in his body. Fuck, he was tired.
Turning off the shower, he gingerly stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist before heading into the bedroom, where Eddie was waiting for him.
“You talk to Bev about what a shitty husband I am?” he said in an oddly calm voice.
Richie blinked. Then he noticed his cell phone in Eddie’s hand. Shit. Deflect, Tozier.
“You went through my phone?” he shot back. “And you left the girls alone?”
“Tess is still asleep and Lydia is watching TV,” Eddie answered and took a step towards Richie. “And your phone went off with a text from Bev that had my name in it. Of course I fucking looked, you’d do the same.”
Richie frowned. Eddie, was usual, was right.
“Bev and I talk all the time,” he said, brushing past him to their bureau and began searching for pajamas. “You know that.”
“Yeah, but—”
“And you talk to her and the guys,” Richie continued. “What’s the fucking difference?”
“I don’t bitch and moan about you to them.”
“Bullshit.”
“I don’t share private things with them.”
Richie whirled around, which was a bit difficult considering he was still stepping into his pajama pants. “Private things?” he repeated. “You being late on a day where I really fucking needed you isn’t exactly intimate information. What’s the big deal?”
Eddie swallowed and shook his head.
“Well, I don’t like it,” he admitted.
Richie huffed a laugh.
“I don’t like that you care more about work than your family but we all got our crosses to bear, right?” he snapped. “So forgive me for letting off a little steam to someone who actually cares.”
Eddie stared at him, his eyes wide and impossibly bright. Richie looked away, grabbed the first t-shirt he could find in the bureau and put it on.
“I’m gonna go sit with the kids,” he muttered. “Text Bev back for me and tell her everything’s fucking fine.”
He felt Eddie’s eyes on him as he stalked out of the bedroom and tried his best to school his face when he approached the couch but by the sidelong glance his daughter gave him, he knew he had done a poor job of it.
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