#(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

a gold & diamond half heart

not two weeks

after she was gone

there in the morning post

a gold & diamond half heart

written in script

I loved you

all of your life

& now will love you

for

the rest of mine

they told me smiling

about this like

I might already know

tho’ I said nothing but wow!

your mother was

a dark one eh?

I’d let all of that go

my thing with her being

so long ago

any feelings

I might’ve had

had faded

to a thin soft glow

no love no hate

no indifference

just

a few memories

of somebody who had

more secrets

than me

neil benbow

#poeticst #twc #writerscreed #poetryportal #poetry on #poetry on tumblr #poets on #originalpoetry #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

what’re

what’re

you thinking?

she’d ask

& like a fool

I’d give what I had

an honest answer

not understanding

she wanted to be

the core of my thoughts

would rubbish anything

not in line

with the any/all of that

such is

the start of control

from one

who wants all of that

& what comes

follows on

is I started

giving answers

I knew she

wanted or liked

& fool that I was

took me some time

to realise

I was looking

for a door

the way out

of all of that

neil benbow

#poeticst #twc #writersc #poetryon #poetryportal #poets #poets on tumblr #writers #orig #original poem #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

practicing

I broke some hearts

oh I’d write them love poems

from out on the road

next time I’m home or in your town

we’ll get together

be just like old times

& I meant those lines I’d put down

just that somewhere along the way

another place another town

somebody else’d come along

keep me occupied fed watered loved up

I’d forget to go down to see them

& I’d lose another friend

I can say this now

now we’re no longer playing pretend

I am sorry my love for my ways

but I was really only practicing

learning better ways to be

until I found the one

would bring my wandering

to its rightful end

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

For Tim RIP

Tim would tell

of parking his camper

in the forest

miles out in the wilderness

finding the right space

sitting with his doors open

(in all ways)

absorbing the silence

to later

wake in the night

hearing noises

the fall of a leaf

crashing to the ground

sniffing of a badger

working out the what’s new

he’d be frightened at first

then would settle back

into the silence

until the dawn

at peace with the world

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

put the hook in

song on the radio

driving late night on my way home

from seeing you

knowing the numbers

were falling

for the times I’d be doing this

& the song put the hook in deep

made me think

when I was looking with a smile

driving out

to fall in love with you

& if I could pay

to bring those times back

I’d put my hand in

pull out everything I have

but no

these choices

are no longer mine

& as I turned in to my street

to go sleep alone

the song faded out

& I gave my thanks

for the hook in deep

reminding of better times

old photographs

in albums

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original writing #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

passed this way

looking around

seeing these trees

mountains green

meadows pastures

thinking I’ve passed this way

before

though I can’t remember when

& it must have been some time ago

the roads are wider

trees are taller

everything is the same

but different y’know?

& on that corner

something unseen catches my eye

reminds

of a sadness a gladness

of being here with somebody

before

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

en passant

she wandered by

all bright blonde hair

deepest blue eyes

but those blue eyes

gave everything away

the hurt the pain

the blows delivered unto

in rage in hate

in that twisted love

some call their real thing

& far far worse

let me know

if I wanted to play those

vicious pastimes

I should not apply

even try to say hello  

so I never did

who

was saving who here

we will never

ever know

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

throw

you don’t understand!

was all she could say

& I offered kind as can

try me there are many worlds

I’ve encountered

come to find a home

but her lip was curled

head begun turning away

unless of course you can’t explain?

I saw the fire in her eyes

felt blood rush to her face

you you you’re one of them!

I shrugged my shoulders

one of what?

but the person was gone

leaving only demons

to spew ire hate & spit

something mumbly came out

about not being worth her time

& I understood now

the only thing to do was throw

gasoline on the fire

thank you for being the spokesperson

for love not hate & being kind

I smiled & turned walked away

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

creeps up

takes a while

before you notice

like in hot climates

the aches & pains of winter

are gone again

one day you notice

the smell of the flowers

that the rising tide of car noise

is now

just a buzz in the distance

& you look around

feel the lack of pain

absence of anger

take stock of where you are

this wave of something

as the questions come:

am I comfortable?

or just ok?

maybe today

I can feel happiness

go outside

feel the wind

the sun

begin again

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

like a racehorse

those lean years

I lived with shared shitters

bathroom along the hall

that now I have one of mine own

I have the luxury

to leave the door ajar when

shaving or taking a piss

which the lovelies

who’ve learned to live with me

have gotten used to

I guess

but I forget with guests

this young woman staying over

screaming out shut the door!

sounds like a racehorse in there!

which at first being a bit dim

with women

I take as a compliment

then realise

she don’t like men in the house

even if of course

the house is not theirs

so I close the door

leave a faint fart as parting gift

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

faint whiff

suggestion of sea salt

faint whiff

drying seaweed

below the tide line

but no

this reek

of young love made in the morning

afternoon & maybe the evening too

because

y’know

y’can

y’want to so much

that was the aroma around

the recently married young couple

I interrupted in their train compartment

that long afternoon

travelling the top of Spain

from Santiago de Compostela to Hendaye

gazing out of the window

watching northern Iberia slide by

& in their silence together

I slipped away quiet

found another place to hide

leaving their perfume behind

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

the talking

that & the raised

arched eyebrows

it was the talking

got to me

the hours needed spent

on who was creating

failing divorcing

petty rich bitch quarrels

on use of a line

liberties made of charcoal

when pastels

gouache was better

today

the talking rather than doing

that & the eyebrows

raised arched

to emphasise how clever

we all were

talking

putting pen to line

brush to white

rather than working

raising sweat

for a living

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

what I saw

his paintings

captured

what I saw

held close & dear

detail

light & shade

made the order plain

created clear understanding

though all I could do

being poor

was stand

in a quiet hall

with other gawpers

as the only certainty

lay

that I could not afford

his work

exit through the gift shop

if you please

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

snail wails & shouting c’mon back at the setting sun

I hear you pecking away

that one fingered thing you do

take the course eh?

why not learn to type proper?

& I tell her I write the pace

I think

can get it the thoughts the word down

my fingers’d be idle

slower than this scarred heart

itchy twitchy unused digits

waiting for commands

most of the time

anyway

what are you writing?

she wonders next

oh the usual snail wails

shouting c’mon back

at the setting sun

& oh

was all she could think of

to say

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

It’s true

the people who give the most grief

are those who got my shit for free

a reduced fee

either as students on inclusion schemes

or clients

referred by hospitals/clinics

who paid me half my usual fee

so they got my shit for free

& they seemed to think

I must be useless

to be doing this for nothing…

there’d be no holding to time

commitment to truth

no work done away from sessions

acceptance of self responsibility

until the last session of the six

when they’d ask for more time

as they felt comforted y’know?

& I’d point out their lateness

their absences no notice given

work agreed but not done

& they’d say:

If I wasn’t a fuck up

I wouldn’t be here Y’know?

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow

[mega2wheellife]

& that is all

you love them

& that is all

there is to that

& a large part

of the loving

is to watch them

be foolish

make poor decisions

go their own way

down dead ends

wrong side of the tracks

because

this is not your life

besides

you have made many

foolish decisions

of your own

neil benbow

#poeticstories #poetryportal #writeundertheinfluence #poetry on tumblr #writerscreed #poem #poets #writers #original poetry #(c)neilbenbow