#(and yes one I've had for ages now because like everything else it was pretty in the open before now...)
Villain who actually used to be sinister and obnoxious is now an AMNESIAC lil softie😩😩😩
For whatever reason, the villain blocked the hero's hit perfectly. Not only that, but when the hero went in for a kick, the villain managed to throw them off balance. Before the hero could fall to the ground, the villain caught them, arm around the hero's waist, pulling them closer than decency allowed.
The villain's eyes widened and a gasp escaped them. Despite the hero's blush, they tried to look grumpy and annoyed - as so often - but the villain could tell it was just for show. What a night. They were exhausted and confused.
"Sorry," the villain whispered. "I almost hit you."
They pulled themselves up and with them the hero.
"No, it's fine, it's good." As soon as possible, the hero took a step back and the villain still felt the warmth of their waist on their fingertips. Was it possible to yearn for someone they had forgotten? Or maybe it was the other way around. Maybe they hadn't forgotten the hero at all. They remembered parts of them, not the whole picture but the most beautiful pieces, it seemed.
"I'm sorry if I-"
"Your muscle memory seems to be pretty good. I think you learnt how to fight at a very young age. Which is...sad." The hero looked at them and their face softened. Suddenly, the villain felt a familiar pain in their chest. Something was hitting close to home. "But you're not as aggressive as before. We need to work on that."
"I appreciate that you want to help me, really. But I think I don't want to be violent," the villain said. The hero touched their own chin, thinking intensively. That was familiar too.
"I've told you a lot of people want you dead," the hero said slowly. "Killing you would turn the whole city upside down. Every criminal tries to be on top of the whole network."
"Can't I just, I dunno, retire?"
"If you want criminals to take over and burn everything down to prove that they are the one on top of the food chain...sure." The hero took in a deep breath. "It's hard to admit but I need you. This city needs you. You keep things organized. You cause damage, yes, but if it wasn't you, it would be five different criminals at five different locations and I don't have the time nor the energy for that."
"Seems like I was a big deal before they fried my brain," the villain said. From what they had been told, they had been a horrible human being. They didn't really miss not remembering.
But there was one thing they wished they hadn't forgotten.
One person.
"You have no idea," the hero whispered. They were quiet for a moment but the villain was sensing that their annoyed and grumpy mask was slipping from their face. "Sometimes it feels pretty lonely. We used to talk about that every now and then."
"We used to talk?" the villain asked, even though they knew they hadn't always tried to murder the hero. Trying to remember was like going through mist and when they had seen the hero for the first time again, it had felt like a warm light in the middle of all the thick fog was calling them.
The hero smiled.
"Most of the time you tried to make me join you. You loved taking me hostage."
"That doesn't sound like a good thing." The villain was disgusted at their own actions. What on earth had driven them to such drastic measures? It was like the villain from the past was someone else.
"...no, of course it wasn't a good thing. It was...different." The hero cleared their throat. "Talking to you was refreshing in a sense. I don't know, it is hard to explain. Our relationship was difficult."
"Like a love-hate-thing?" The hero looked at them but didn't say anything. That was enough of an answer for the villain and acid started to burn their throat. So, the hero had liked them and now they seemed annoyed by them.
What if the hero had liked their old version more? The villain that was violent and aggressive? What if the hero wouldn't like how they were now? What if the hero absolutely loathed them now because they weren't the right villain?
"I was taught not to show any emotions to my enemies. I think that has made me quite bitter but you challenged that. I was angry at you and I hated you a lot of the time. But in your soft moments I loved your voice. I loved your thoughts. I loved when you were kind to me. When you decided to saved me before death could take me. I loved it when you talked to me and argued with me without being an asshole. And those mixed feelings for you conflicted me."
And now? The villain's heart was beating in their chest, loud enough, they swore, for the hero to hear.
"Of course, I knew you wouldn't understand it. You were doing this for your own benefits. You were a strategist, after all. It is more complicated now for me. You're someone I like a little too much."
"You've been waiting to get that off your chest, haven't you?" The hero looked at the ground and back at the villain. Their ears were red and they closed their hands into fists over and over again. They closed their eyes, swallowed.
"I know training can get tiresome and-"
"I remember talking to you. You're pretty much the only thing I remember. Little details. What you look like. What you smell like. Honestly, I thought we were married when I saw you for the first time after waking up." The hero's blush stretched over their cheeks. "Maybe you can give me some more tips? Punches and kicks, I mean."
"Y-yeah of course." The villain smiled softly.
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Truth | Embry Call
Word Count: 5.4K
Paring: Embry Call x Female!Reader
Requested: Yes [@come-on-darling-honey | @treatiseofselena | @pinkdragonfandream-blog]
Story Description: Embry and (Y/N) getting together was inevitable, and it seemed that the universe concurred.
A/N: The requests didn't have any details so I grouped them together (hope that's okay.) I've never gravitated toward Embry so at first I had no idea what or how to write this.But I hope I did him justice with this fluffy friend-to-lovers. Now, I will definitely post more about him because I fell in love with my version of him 🤭🤭
Also, I'm trying to organize myself and my writing to upload more consistently, but chronic illnesses, family, and life always get in the way. Thank you to all of you who have bear with me for so long 🤍🤍
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Truth | Embry Call Oneshot
For the longest time, it had always been Jake, Quil, Embry, and (Y/N). The four of them had been friends since their childhood and had quickly become inseparable. If one was in sight, the probability that the other three were close behind was high. The group was simply thick as thieves.
But there were two in particular that grew closer than the others.
(Y/N) and Embry seemed to gravitate toward each other. Even when the four friends were together, the duo would be standing side-by-side. They understood each other in a way that Jake and Quil did not. Even without words, they could speak a language that no one else could understand.
“You guys should just get together already,” Jacob had teased one day. “I mean, we all know it’s gonna happen sooner or later. Any day now you’ll tell us you’re a couple.”
“Oh please, Jake,” Quil laughed. “These two would be single their whole lives before they admit they like each other.”
(Y/N) had thrown pieces of popcorn at them, chuckling dryly at their statements. “We’re just friends, guys,” she retorted. “With that logic, you and Quil should get together too.”
“It’s just a joke, (Y/N). There’s no need to get so pissed.”
“I’m not,” she quickly defended. “It’s just annoying that you guys bother us so much about it.”
At that moment, Embry walked into the living room. He was quiet, as always, but vigilant. His eyes fell quickly onto (Y/N)’s. He could tell in an instant that something —more like someone— had made her feel embarrassed.
“Guys, leave her alone already,” he quickly defended. “Can we not go one night without you guys bothering her?”
“You don’t even know what happened!” Jake whined. “You always take her side.”
“Well, 99% of the time you guys did actually do something to her,” Embry responded. “And I would bet everything I have that it’s not a 1% kind of occasion.”
Quick and Jake slouched into the sofa, crossing their arms over their chests in defeat. Even though they were all similar in age, there was a sense of maturity in Embry that was unparalleled. At the end of the day, he was the voice of reason within the group.
“There we go again. Her knight in shining armor,” Jake grumbled. “And they say they don’t have a thing for each other.”
After the movies were done, Quil had long gone, and Jake mumbled something about going to bed, Embry offered to walk (Y/N) home. It was something he had accustomed to doing but it still made her stomach do a turn on itself.
“So, what were those idiots talking about?”
“The usual,” she sighed. Her hand was inches away from his. A simple stumble and she could have intertwined them. “How one day you and I will become a couple because of how well we get on.”
“Oh,” he said coyly.
“I know I should be used to it by now, but it can get pretty annoying, pretty fast.”
Embry’s heart started to race as he listened to her words. He knew just how infuriating their friends could be, especially when it came to bothering people. But it only upset him because he did like her.
At some point in time, his best friend had turned into the girl that he loved. She had become the protagonist of all of his fantasies, the reason for having a smile on his face, what he looked forward to every day. Somehow, she had become his center.
“Why do you find it annoying?” Embry managed to croak out, suddenly finding his hands more interesting than the road ahead. “Like would it be that terrible?”
“No,” she answered quickly. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was repulsed by him. Because all she wanted was him.
Much like Embry, she didn’t know when that shift had happened. He was her best friend, her closest confidant, the only person that knew her better than she knew herself. But somewhere along the line, her heart would flutter at his nearness, a smile painted on her face at the mention of his name, her eyes trailed to his in every room they were in.
“I don’t, uh. I don’t think it would be terrible,” she spoke meekly. “Do you?”
They stopped in their tracks, finally facing each other.
“I could never find being with you terrible,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. With a surge of bravery, his hand lifted to her face, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “It would honestly be a dream come true.”
(Y/N) gasped quietly at the sudden touch. Her breath hitched in her throat and her hand flew to grasp at his forearm. “Embry, w-what… what’re you saying?”
“I like you, (Y/N), and I have for a long time,” he told her. His brown eyes stared intensely into hers, looking for any sign that he was losing her. “I’m not sure when it happened but one day you slipped into my head and you have not left it since. That’s why it doesn’t bother me. Because deep down I’ve always hoped that day would come.”
“Embry, I…” She stammered searching for her words, but nothing came out.
“I understand if you don’t feel the same way,” he said sadly. “But I had to tell you already. It’s been eating me up inside for a long time and I had to confess before it consumed me completely.”
“No, Embry, I do,” she choked on her words, feeling the knot in her throat tightening as she spoke. Even if he was saying exactly what she had wanted to hear, emotions overwhelmed her. “God, I like you too. For a while now. I just never had the courage to say anything because I didn’t want to lose your friendship. You mean a lot to me.”
“So we’ve been tip-toeing around each other for no reason then?” Embry laughed. “Are we seriously that oblivious to feelings?”
“It appears so,” she responded with a chuckle. “What does this mean for us, Em? Where do we go from here?”
“Well, first, I was thinking I could kiss you,” he smiled. “Can I?”
“I would die if you didn’t.”
His hands cradled her face softly, his thumbs caressing over the apex of her cheekbones. He nuzzled his nose against hers, teasing her lips with his. He ghosted over the pink of her skin, wishing to the gods that he wasn’t in another one of his dreams.
When he finally gave in, his lips crashed into hers and he could swear he felt the earth around him stop. There was no gravity, no air, no cold or warmth, it was simply him and (Y/N), and that was all that existed on Earth.
“What’re we gonna tell the guys?” (Y/N) said as soon as they parted for air. “They’ll never let us live this down. And, honestly, I don’t think I could stand their pestering once they know they were right.”
“We don’t have to tell them,” he responded, intertwining his hand with hers comfortingly as they continued their walk to her home. “We can have this just for ourselves for the time being. It will be our little secret.”
“As much as I would love to shout it from the rooftops,” she smiled brightly. “But I like this too. Having something that is just for us. Something they can’t ruin.”
“That does sound great, actually.”
“Good. Because I don’t want anyone to ruin this. Especially not those two.”
And for a couple of months, it was perfect. To their friends, it was business as usual. They were as friendly as ever, always by each other’s side, and taking Quil and Jake’s teasing with a grain of salt. No one could have known just how true their jokes had become.
They got around with stolen glances, hidden corners, and nights. And how they loved their nights. They would spend hours curled up in each other’s arms after Embry would sneak into her room. They would talk about nothing and everything, they would sleep, and they would kiss.
It was an easy routine to follow and they fell into it quickly and perfectly. In the morning, they were the best of friends. At night, they were falling more and more in love.
At least, that’s what (Y/N) had thought.
She had fallen for him. Deeply. He meant everything to her and she thought the feeling was mutual. But when the first week of the second semester of their junior year came to a start and Embry had disappeared, she knew something was wrong.
Not only had he missed school, but he also had completely iced out Jake, Quil, and, most importantly, (Y/N). He wouldn’t answer her calls, he stopped coming over, and he was nowhere to be found. Even his mother had told her that he wasn’t acting like himself and she was very surprised at his behavior.
What none of them knew —what she didn’t know— was that Embry was going through the most surreal of transformations. He wanted to tell his friends, he wanted to tell her everything.
Yet, bringing them into a world where the stories the elders told around the bonfire were real was something he could not do. Even if it meant that they never talked again, he would make sure to keep them safe from the dangers they did not know were real.
He did everything he could to avoid (Y/N) specifically. He would never say it, or even think it now, but he was scared he’d do to her what Sam had accidentally done to Emily. Love wouldn’t protect her from what he was and what he could do to her. Avoiding her hurt, but not as much as it would if he did anything to her.
But that Friday, after he had missed a whole week of school and he’d expertly avoided his group of friends for the past four days, everything had changed. As Embry walked the halls, careful not to run into any of his three friends, his eyes caught hers.
That’s when it happened. The moment that changed his entire world. It hadn’t been meeting his friends, it hadn’t been his first kiss with (Y/N), and it hadn’t been his first phase as a shapeshifter. It was the universe telling him that it was her, and it would always be her.
And it scared him.
As she tried to move through the sea of students to get to him, all he could do was run away. Though deep down he hoped it was her once he knew what imprinting was, his fears of repeating history had grown.
“Embry!” He heard her call out. “ Embry, wait!”
But he was already out the doors and running to the only place he could think of. His brain was going a million miles a minute and his heart was tugging at his chest, begging to be with the piece that was missing from it.
He opened the door to the small house, hoping anyone was inside. His breathing was staggered and his chest was hammering. He was panicking and had no idea how to make it stop.
“Woah, Embry,” Sam called out. “I’m gonna need you to calm down, okay? You’ve gotta breathe, Call. Breathe.”
“She’s… and I didn’t… I don’t,” he tried to speak.
“Slow down, Embry.”
“I can’t… I can’t do this to her,” the boy managed to croak out. “Not her.”
“Is this about you imprinting today?”
“How did you…?”
“Mind link, Embry,” the alpha reminded him. “I know everything that happens to you. Who is she?”
Embry sighed deeply, taking a seat at the dining table. “She’s my best friend,” he said. “And these past few months she became so much more.”
“She’s your girlfriend then?”
“Well, we never labeled it as much,” he responded. “But kind of. Yeah.”
“Then why are you so worried? This is the best-case scenario.”
“I don’t want to put her in danger. And her knowing the truth would put her right in the middle of it.”
“And you don’t want what happened to Emily to happen to her,” Sam said softly. Embry’s eyes went wide as he realized what the man had said, quickly struggling to find a redeeming answer. “Don’t worry, Call. I wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone, for that matter. And as scary as it is to tell her the truth, you have to. As the days go by, you will both find it harder and harder to keep away from each other. It will be physically painful to stay apart.”
“I can’t do that to her. She deserves to be safe,” he silently sobbed. “The further away she is from me, the better it will be for her. I can’t hurt her if I’m not with her.”
Sam couldn’t help but feel pity for the boy. He had been in that very position not too long ago, running from the people he loved, fearing the hurt he could cause them. But he also knew how he could cause just as much pain by staying away.
“Look, Embry, I won’t tell you what you have to do,” he said. “But speaking from experience, running away does more harm than good. Whether you like it or not, she is now a part of this world and the best way to protect her is by telling her the truth. Unlike with your mom, the secret of our tribe has to be shared with our imprints. She’s gonna need to understand why it hurts so much to stay away from you.”
“What if things go bad?” Embry asked dolefully. “What if telling her pushes her away regardless?”
“That is just something you’ll have to leave to chance,” Sam sighed. “But if you need any backup if you choose to tell her, you know Emily and I are here and happy to help.”
“Thanks, Sam,” the boy responded. “But I think this is something I have to do by myself. I’m gonna tell her tonight and hope for the best.”
“Well, I’ll be doing patrol tonight. So, if at my point you need me, just call out.”
---
“Wait, you actually saw him here?” Jake asked that afternoon as the three friends left the school. “I heard he was back but I have not seen him the whole week.”
“He was standing in the middle of the hallway this morning and I tried to get to him,” (Y/N) explained. “But he ran away and literally disappeared. What the hell is going on with him?”
“Apparently he’s been sneaking out of his house for a while now,” Quil added, making (Y/N)’s heart wrench in her chest. “And his mom says he wasn’t home that week he skipped school.”
“I heard he’s been hanging out with Sam Uley’s gang,” Jake whispered. “That could explain why he’s acting so weird. He got involved with some shady shit.”
“Guys, this is Embry we’re talking about,” the girl defended, holding onto any hope that he was still the boy she loved. “Do you really think he would do something like that?”
“You keep trying to defend your little boyfriend but it’s clear he wants nothing to do with any of us,” Jake spat.
“He’s our friend, Jake,” (Y/N) seethed. “Sorry for actually believing there might be something else happening other than he might have joined a dangerous gang and has left us for dead.”
“(Y/N)…”
“Whatever, guys. I’ll see you on Monday.”
She left both boys dumbfounded and disappeared into her home. Once inside she crashed against her front door and allowed the tears that were stinging her eyes to flow free.
(Y/N) couldn’t accept that she had truly lost Embry. She couldn’t admit that she had fallen for someone that could act like she meant nothing to them, that could forget every moment they spent together, that could ignore everything they had admitted to her. She had trusted him with her heart and he had decided to shatter it without another thought.
Somehow she had made her way to her bedroom and had crashed on her bed. When her eyes fluttered open again the sun had completely set and the moon was shining brightly in the sky. In the darkness, she searched for her phone, feeling the need to apologize to Quil and Jake for snapping at them.
Yet, her screen lit up with Embry’s caller ID, showing her that it was the fifth call in the last twenty minutes. She debated answering the phone, wanting to make him feel just like she had the last two weeks.
But her resolution was too weak.
“What?” (Y/N) spat.
“Come to your window.”
She walked to her window, her gaze falling on his figure on the road. Tears were quick to form in the corners of her eyes, her emotions close to their bursting point. “What do you want, Embry?” she asked through the phone, careful to keep her voice from cracking. “It’s late.”
“I know, but I really need to talk to you, (Y/N).”
“So, you show up after two weeks of dead silence. Your hair is all chopped up, you’ve got a tattoo, and apparently, you’ve been hanging with Sam Uley’s gang. And you just come here and tell me now you wanna talk,” she scoffed. “Give me one reason why I should give you the time of day after all that?”
“I know I don’t deserve another chance and you have every right to turn me away right now,” he told her. “But I promise if you give me a couple of minutes I can explain everything to you. After that, you can decide what you want to do. Please, (Y/N).”
She kept quiet for a second, knowing that she didn’t have much to think about. Her heart knew exactly what she would answer before she could say it out loud. “Fine,” she said. “You’ve got ten minutes.”
“Alright,” he smiled. “Come down.”
She couldn’t help the eagerness that overtook her as she wrapped a jacket around her and silently slipped out the door. And once she was face to face with him, it took everything in her not to run and wrap her arms around Embry.
“Hey,” he smiled softly at her. “Been a while.”
“Not really in the mood for jokes, Embry,” she responded. “I came out here to hear you explain. So explain.”
“Okay, but I’m gonna need us to move into the woods.”
“I’m not going into the woods with you, Em. Just tell me already.”
“Look, I know this is weird but I need you to trust me, okay?” he asked giving her those puppy dog eyes that she had missed so much. The same eyes he’d give her when he begged for a kiss or when he pleaded for a couple of more minutes away from their friends. “Please.”
“Fine,” she sighed. “But your time is down to eight minutes.”
“Alright. Just, come on.”
Without thinking, he took hold of her hand, leading her to the darkness of the woods, searching for a place where no passersby could accidentally see him.
(Y/N) found herself allowing him to drag her, remembering just how comforting his warmth was. Especially on such a cold night in January, it surprised her just how high his temperature felt.
Once they were deep enough and Embry had halted them to a stop, she forced herself to drop his hand. She didn’t want him to forget the anger that still rushed through her veins, the disappointment that had found a home in her heart, and the hurt that she felt in every inch of her body.
“Go ahead,” she told him, crossing her arms across her chest to keep them from reaching toward him.
“Alright, first of all, I want to apologize for disappearing like that. It wasn’t fair to you or the guys. But you need to understand that I couldn’t tell you at the beginning,” he started. “(Y/N), what I’m about to tell you is gonna sound like the biggest lie you have heard, and you might even think that I’ve lost my mind. Still, everything I say is the honest truth.”
“Em, you’re scaring me,” she responded. “What’re you talking about?”
Embry took a deep breath, finding every ounce of strength to be able to finally tell her the truth, to wrap her in the web of the supernatural and hope he was strong enough to keep her from the dangers of it. “Okay, I’m gonna need you to think back to all the stories our parents and the elders would tell us around the bonfire,” he said. “How our Quileute ancestors were shapeshifters and how it was their job to protect our land. When we were kids we thought that those were only stories, myths to keep us children entertained. But it’s real, (Y/N). Those stories weren’t just fantasies, they are our history.
“The reason I disappeared was because I am now one of those shapeshifters. It happened the Saturday before starting school, at the back-to-school bonfire, when that guy was hitting on you when I walked away for a second,” he continued. His eyes never left hers, hoping —begging— that she believed him. “It happened so suddenly and I thought I was dying. I could feel anger taking over my entire body, filling me with this overheating rush that burned deep inside.
“It was Jared Cameron that found me. He pulled me into the woods and I was so angry that I couldn’t even process what was happening. He kept telling me to give in to the change to listen to my body and allow it to do what it needed to. Suddenly, my clothes were ripped to shreds and I was this huge wolf.
“After, Sam Uley and Paul Lahote joined him and walked me through shifting back, telling me to focus on my human form. It felt like everything around me was shaking, reacting to the way my body was transforming. And somehow, at just the right moment, I changed back into my human self.
“I spent that week learning to control my emotions so I wouldn’t trigger a phase in front of everyone, learning about our history and our role in the rez. It turns out, those guys aren’t a gang, they’re actually a pack and our job is to protect the reservation from anything, supernatural or not, that threatens our land. No one can know about our existence other than the elders and current pack members.”
“Wait, I don’t get it,” she stammered, her head spinning with all the information she was given. “This whole talk about wolves and supernatural beings… it’s crazy, Embry! A completely convoluted way of telling me it’s over.”
“I can show you,” he added. “Just don’t move even an inch from where you are right now.”
“What’re you…? Embry.”
He put some distance between them, making sure he was safely away from her. He removed his shirt and unbuttoned his pants, ensuring his clothes were close enough when he phased back. He knew just how impossible everything he had said sounded. If he hadn’t phased that night, there was no way he would have believed it.
But he needed her to believe him.
One second he was standing before her in human form, and the next, a tall gray wolf with black spots was staring her down. She stumbled back as her eyes met the animal’s, a slight rush of fear flowing through her veins.
Yet, she knew those brown eyes too well to be afraid for long. They were unmistakably Embry’s and they replaced her anxiety with a calming stream. Something about him was calling to her, beckoning her to come closer. There was no danger, there was no panic, there was only calm.
(Y/N) made her way closer to the creature, every step filling her with courage. The wolf didn’t move, his eyes simply followed her, waiting. Because he was the tactable answer to all of her questions.
Her shaking hand raised and landed on the soft fur of the wolf’s head. As soon as she made contact, Embry nudged it, giving her the confirmation she was looking for. It was him and it was all true.
“You’re a wolf,” she softly chuckled. “You’re in front of me right now and you’re a giant wolf.”
Embry let out a confirming growl that sounded almost like a laugh and nuzzled his nose against her. The small force knocked her back softly, siphoning from her the laugh he had missed hearing.
“But if no one is supposed to know about you guys, why are you telling me all this?” (Y/N) asked before realizing he could not answer in his form. “Change back already. I have so many questions.”
In the blink of an eye, Embry stood before her, scrambling to get dressed. “This is the most awkward part of phasing back,” he chuckled dryly. “It’s worse when you’re surrounded by guys you barely know.”
“Yeah, I can imagine,” she sympathized. “Now, why me? Why am I the only one that you’re telling this to? Jake and Quil truly believe you’ve joined a gang and left us in the dust.”
“Well, as with most things, there is an exception to the rules. One person that is allowed to know everything, even if they’re not members of the pack,” he explained slowly. “There’s something that happens after your shift that involves that person. It’s called imprinting. I’m the most basic definition: it's a soulmate. You are unconditionally bound to this person for the rest of your life, becoming whatever it is that they need from you —a sibling, a friend, a partner. Anything.
“Your whole world changes,” he continued, his hands taking hers. “They become your gravity, your very reason for living. Even being apart feels physically painful. Everything falls secondary to them, and all it takes is one look.”
“This morning,” she breathed. (Y/N) had felt something change when they had locked eyes in the hall. His absence had become a harrowing pit in her stomach. “But I…”
“The bond affects the imprint as well,” Embry answered before she could ask. “But nothing happens without them wanting it. You are only what the imprint wants.”
“So it’s me,” she said, trying to hold back tears, her eyes falling to where their hands were clasped. “Is that why you ran away this morning? Because you imprinted on me? Was it… did you not want it to be me?”
“No! I mean yes! I wanted it to be you,” he rapidly scrambled for his response. “But I was afraid of what the implications of you being my imprint would be.”
“What do you mean?”
“First of all, I could never forgive myself if I was the reason you were ever in danger,” Embry started, his hand cradling her cheek to lift her gaze to his, wiping away the strand that had fallen. “But what I was most afraid of was that it would make you feel things that you might not have felt had it not been for this supernatural intervention.”
“I’m not following, Em.”
“Look, (Y/N), I love you —I’m in love with you. And I have been for a long time,” he confessed. “And even though I know you like me and we spent all this time together, I was afraid that if you felt more for me it would be because of the imprint bond and not really how you would have felt without it.”
Finally, it was her turn to comfort him. “Em, I think I’ve loved you since the moment we met,” she grinned. “I don’t need a supernatural link to tell me how I have felt about you for the majority of my life. And I understand why you had to keep all of this from us. As much as I would love for Jake and Quil to know how much of an amazing badass my boyfriend is, we know how well I can keep a secret.”
Embry’s eyes opened wide at the word, loving how it sounded coming from her lips. “Boyfriend? You called me your boyfriend!”
“Is that not what you are?”
“Yes. Yes! And you’re my girlfriend!” he exclaimed as he hugged her waist tightly, twirling her in a hug. “God, being without you has made this the worst two weeks of my life.”
“I can tell,” she teased. “I mean you lost my favorite thing about you. I’m really gonna miss your hair.”
“Unless you braid the wolf’s hair, I’m afraid we’re stuck with the short hair for a while.”
“I can work with that as long as you don’t ever disappear like that again.”
“I promise I will never willingly do that,” he responded. “I can assure you these past two weeks have been hell.”
“Well, we won’t have that time back. But we can make sure we don’t lose any more.”
“I like the sound of that,” he grinned.
He placed both hands on either side of (Y/N)’s face, nuzzling his nose to hers as he had done the first time they kissed. He breathed in her scent. He listened to the patter of her heart, to the sound of her breath. He took her in completely at the moment, memorizing how she looked when they told each other they loved one another.
“Are you gonna make me wait?” she let out a strangled breath. “Or are you gonna kiss me already?”
“You waited two weeks already,” he teased.
“So I’ve waited long enough,” she bit back. “Now kiss me, you dork.”
Finally, he crashed his lips onto hers and everything felt like it had fallen where it was supposed to. There had never been secrets between them, and, now, there never had to be any more. The universe had simply confirmed what they already felt.
---
“Well, Quil, looks like you’re gonna have to pay up, my man,” Jake joked a couple of months after that fateful night. All discord between the friends had died the second the boys that were kept in the dark phases as well. “I told you these two had been together for a while.”
“No, you owe me,” he retorted. “They got together closer to the timeline I had set.”
“Actually,” Embry interjected, his arm draped over (Y/N)’s shoulders. “If you look at the board of bets, you’ll see that I had put down the actual date and time that we got together.”
“But that’s not fair! When we made that bet board we had no idea you two were actually together,” Quil whined. “There’s no way that should be an admissible bet.”
“Not knowing the facts doesn’t exempt you from it,” (Y/N) chuckled. “A bet that falls under the set rules for that pile will remain intact, even if it’s under a loophole.”
“Of course you’ll say that, (Y/N),” Jake scoffed. “He’s your boyfriend after all.”
“Don’t forget imprintee,” she grinned. “Now, both of you, cough up those twenty bucks.”
Later that afternoon and forty bucks richer, (Y/N) and Embry sat in the Uley’s backyard, watching the other boys playing football farther away from the bonfire Sam had started. They had curled up together under a blanket, enjoying the fact that they were together, and the world seemed to grant them a day of peace.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Embry whispered into her ear, pressing her tighter to him. “Because I do. So much.”
“Hm,” she smiled, melting into his touch. “You’ve told me once or twice. But I’ll never get tired of hearing it. Because I love you too.”
“And I’ll never get tired of saying it.”
“Good,” she beamed. “Because you’re stuck with me until the end.”
“Couldn’t think of a better life than that.”
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tins without labels - prologue (j.wy)
summary:
Jung Wooyoung's life was always somehow intertwined with your own. from living in the same neighbourhood as kids to attending the same college; fights, bickering, bruises, teasing comments and tears. Wooyoung and you were never complete strangers but never friends either. Always somewhere in between, growing up with each other but never actually knowing one another.
The relationship takes a confusing turn in your third year of college after an injury that places your football career on hold. Lonely, lost and confused, you find yourself at your first college party in the presence of none other than Jung Wooyoung asking him to show you what exactly have you been missing out on.
playlist // my main masterlist // moodboard (tba) // click to donate to Palestine
pairing: jung wooyoung x reader
warnings: none for this chapter i think!
word count: 9.3k
taglist: just reply or inbox me if u'd like to be added c:
a/n: pls don't say damn when u see that i started another story. listen LISTEEEEEN. i know what u all will say..."bree should u rly be starting another series when u havent finished or started the 4757 bajillion ones that u already posted?" the answer is YES. let me explain myself briefly, this summer has been rly hard for me bc i lost someone who was incredibly important to me and i just can't write...i just can't! everything looks like shit!!! im halfway done with soot and something just isn't letting me continue. i can't write pretty on the outside or literally anything else i've started bc its all simply too sad. writing is draining to begin with despite how much i love and enjoy it but writing angst is k wording my mental health lol! so....i present to you this series, mostly dedicated to myself literally no one asked for this, i just feel like its something i need to write and always wanted to so here i go! it will be a little heartwarming series with lots of humor and coming of age shenanigans and huge chunks of it written from personal experience and i hope u guys read it and like it. i had a lot of fun writing this prologue. (p.s. i literally know jackshit about football/soccer so if by some chance someone that reads this knows their football shit....just let it go pls lmfaoo)
(prologue; when we were kids)
and I couldn't find the words, i couldn't think of what to say and all that I can do is stop and think about the days when all we used to dream about was meeting after school
6 and 8 years old;
Your mom helped you build the snowman.
An entire morning of running around your front yard, laughing and playing in the freshly fallen snow, seeing the air you breathe out in front of you that you pretended was cigarette smoke to make your mom laugh as the cold nipped at your cheeks.
The snowman was almost twice your size (which wasn't a lot, you were a fairly small child) with pebbles stuck in as his eyes and teeth pulled up in a big grin. Your mom found a small bucket in the old shed behind the house which she placed on his head as a makeshift hat and because you didn't have any carrots, there was a small twig stuck at the center of the snowman's face to serve as a long crooked nose.
(The snowman didn't have any arms, a detail that went over your head at the time.)
After admiring the big statue in the farther corner of your front yard for awhile, you finally retreated into the house with your socks wet along with the majority of your hot pink snowsuit. As you kicked off the damp clothes and exchanged them for warm, dry ones and fuzzy socks and then settled in front of the TV in the toasty living room with a mug of cocoa - you couldn't help but feel that it was a happy day.
Which is why when, in the late afternoon, once you looked out of your window to see what once used to be your snowman is now nothing but a big pile of disheveled snow with his plastic hat rolling around the sidewalk and two boys running away down the street with shrill laughter echoing after them, you simply couldn't help but burst into tears.
"Mommy!" You screamed out, running outside your front door in fuzzy socks and your sweater, as dramatic as you were. But you were six and your life still ended and began with coloring books and favorite toys, so a snowman that you made with your mom getting destroyed, surely felt like the end of the world.
Once your mom stepped out after you, about to scold you for walking outside into the cold air with no jacket on, you burst into crocodile tears as you pointed to the spot where your snowman once stood.
"Oh, no." She breathed out with a sigh before grabbing her jacket and slipping into whatever shoes were available by the door (they were your dad's old tennis shoes) and walking across the front yard to collect the small bucket from the sidewalk.
All you could do was stand and watch as you wailed so loudly after your snowman that the entire neighbourhood could hear.
"Honey, it's okay." Your mom tried to soothe you as she walked up the steps to your house, carrying what used to be the snowman's hat. "It's just a snowman, we'll make another one tomorrow!"
But you were inconsolable, bursting out in another wave of loud cries as you stomped your tiny foot and pointed to the house across the street.
"They ruined it! W-Wooyoung ruined it!" You sob, waving towards the boy's house with all the anger a six year old could possibly muster. You knew it was him, recognizing the ugly red jacket he wore this entire winter and his even uglier looking friend, Chanwook.
You weren't friends with Wooyoung. He was older than you and all of his friends were mean. You once tried to play with them when you first moved to the neighbourhood but they didn't want to play with a girl. You cried about that too.
They often teased you. Wooyoung said your crooked teeth made you look ugly!
She sighs again, "And that was very mean of him. But, Y/N, we'll just make another snowman tomorrow."
"But-" You start again, tears still sliding down your face.
"We'll build him in the backyard where we have a fence, so no-one will be able to touch him." She offers with a smile, hoping you'll finally be consoled enough to walk inside and be safe from the harsh cold.
"But I won't be able to look at him from the window." You tell her quietly, voice going hoarse from the crying and bottom lip already wobbling as another wave of tears began to sunk in. She gives you a sympathetic smile.
"We'll get him a prettier hat and we'll use two long branches to give him arms!" Your mom offers again, trying to butter you up so the tears would stop. "We'll get a carrot for his nose and big pretty rocks for his eyes!" Once she realized it was working, she continued; "And we'll take a picture of you with him so you'll always get to look at him, even when he melts away!"
You peer up at her with a hiccup, finally bribed enough; "A picture?"
She nods, holding the door wider for you to finally walk inside as you inch towards the door, fuzzy socks now soaked, "A picture. We'll send your dad to the mall to develop them."
So, you finally walk inside the warm house again, changing your socks and immediately going to your father's home office to pester him about the camera and just how long will it take for a picture to be developed.
-
"-Y/N, we'll just make another snowman tomorrow!"
Wooyoung heard your mom tell you as he peers at the exchange from across the street, through his bedroom window, freshly changed into dry clothes after a long hard day of playing outside with Chanwook and now, warming his frozen hands on the radiator.
When Wooyoung saw the snowman parked in the corner of your front yard, just a step away from the sidewalk, he and Chanwook thought it would be funny to ruin it.
The thing was ugly and had an even uglier bucket at the top of it's head, perfect to kick around the street!
He didn't think too much about it, if he was honest. Just saw a big lump of snow he wanted to kick at until it collapsed, so that's what Wooyoung did. It was just a silly snowman.
Besides, you were already six years old. Far too old to be making a stupid snowman. You should've been going sledding with the rest of the neighborhood kids on the small hill just a couple of minutes away from your street. Wooyoung was mature now, so his mom allowed him to go without a chaperone this year. You were always so childish, no wonder your mom didn't let you go with them. You cried over everything.
But he didn't expect you to cry over the stupid snowman!
It was just a snowman. It would've melted anyway when the weather got warmer! Or gotten ruined by someone else!
The brief fear of your mom telling Wooyoung's mom about what he'd done struck him. He'd positively get grounded for ruining your dumb snowman if she found out and then the rest of his winter break would be spent inside of the house.
You could always make another snowman. A better one. And since you're such a crybaby, Wooyoung would make sure to tell Chanwook that they won't be touching that one. Leave that ugly snowman alone.
Just so you wouldn't cry anymore.
-
10 and 12 years old;
"It's a shame your mother is dead, maybe if she was still around she would teach you how to act like a girl!"
Your face flushed in anger as you stared the other boy, Beomseok, his chubby fingers still wrapped around your pencil case which was how the argument started in the first place.
He was in the same class as you and a typical bully. Bigger than the rest of his peers and always using it to his advantage to intimidate and tease them. Today, he took your pencil case and when you asked for him to give it back, he only gave you a gnarly smile and started running around the classroom and eventually out on the halls, screaming taunts at you. It would be a lie to say that you didn't scream some pretty mean stuff back but in your defense, he deserved it.
Now, you both stood as if you're ready to duel as the rest of your classmates and even some upperclassmen gathered to see what the commotion is all about, your fury rising so high that tears spring in your eyes at the mention of your mom as you observe his smug smirk. Obviously, from a very young age, you were bad at managing your anger.
"I hate you!" You scream out, voice high pitched. Then you jump on Beomseok with your full weight, successfully pulling him to the hard hallway floors as your hands curled into tiny fists that started colliding with his face.
And Beomseok, for all his intimidating build, talked an awfully big game just to end up bursting into tears as your fist collided with his nose. He was bad at fighting, you notice, if he could be beat up by a lanky girl almost two times smaller than him.
"I just-" Punch. "-wanted-" Punch. "-my pencil case-" A slap. "-back!"
"Somebody help!" He screams from under you, whining under each attack but his classmates were too busy cheering you on to come to his defense.
Once you start harshly pulling on his hair, two arms wrap themselves under your armpits and pull you off of your classmate. You're standing again and are turned by your shoulders to come face to face with your teacher, screaming at you.
"Is this a proper behavior in school?!" and lots of "Your father will hear about this!"'s and "You're going to the principle's office!" as she started pulling you by your arm down the corridor that was still filled with students.
"Everyone to your classrooms! Now!" Your teacher screams from the top of her lungs as she tugs on you and you follow after her with a frown on your face.
Stupid Beomseok.
-
Wooyoung's stomach hurts from laughing, clapping Chanwook's shoulder who was almost sitting on the floor due to his own fit of pure glee, as he watches Kim Beomseok roll around the floor in pain, clutching his nose.
There's scratches and bruises already forming on his cheeks, little bit of blood mixed with a lot of big, fat tears. It's hard to feel even slightly bad for Beomseok, when Wooyoung heard how he torments his classmates along with the younger kids during recess. Did it count as bullying if the bully is the one getting bullied?
Maybe he finally got what was coming for him, nobody usually stood up to him and Wooyoung least expected you to be the one to put him in his place.
He deserved it, Wooyoung thinks, after what he said about your mom.
Wooyoung remembers her funeral three years ago, he remembers how much you cried and how you didn't leave your house for a month that summer. He even rung the doorbell to ask if you wanted to come out and play one time which he never did because you were a child and he was much more mature than you, you two had nothing in common. But he felt sad for you.
Your mom was nice, she always brought Wooyoung a chocolate when she'd come for a visit.
Sadly, they discovered she had cancer when you were only seven and Wooyoung was nine. By the time they discovered it, it was already too far along and your mom passed away on a summer evening while you were outside playing hide and seek.
Wooyoung remembers feeling so bad how they always made you the seeker that day because you were the youngest kid in the neighbourhood and far too easy to convince that it was simply always your turn to look for the other kids.
Your dad opened the door, smiling sadly at Wooyoung and saying that you weren't feeling well enough to come out and play. Wooyoung didn't try again after that.
The teacher is pulling you by your elbow through the crowd, yelling at the top of her lungs for everyone to head to their classrooms since class should start in a couple of minutes. You silently follow her, face twisted into an angry grimace.
Your hair has fallen out of your ponytail, long strands sticking to your face and Wooyoung is pretty sure that your shirt got ripped during the brawl.
Wooyoung might've been laughing a bit too loudly because with angry eyes and cheeks flushed, your head whips towards him just as you pass by him.
Wooyoung opens his mouth with a smile, to say something like "Good job, Y/L!" maybe. He doesn't get the chance to.
"What are you laughing at, Jung?" You ask loudly and Wooyoung's laughter immediately dies down.
"Wha-?"
And it's then, that your foot meets Wooyoung's shin in a harsh kick that makes him yowl in pain and makes Chanwook burst into another wave of laughter as his hands grab at Wooyoung who doubles over in pain.
"Y/N!" The teacher screams out again, pulling you back by your shirt and going on another rant, filled with threats of calling your dad to school and something else he can't process at the moment.
Wooyoung is too busy feeling the pain and anger that fills him up as he rubs at the place your sneaker covered foot meet his leg.
"Y/N, you psycho!" He yells after you who is still getting dragged away. You don't even bother to look back at him.
(He still collects your pencil case from the floor and throws it on a desk that a classmate of yours says belongs to you before exiting the classroom and going to his own. Wooyoung tells himself it's for no other reason but just so your dad won't have to buy you a new one. He has enough on his plate already.)
-
14 and 16 years old;
Wooyoung has a girlfriend.
You don't know why that's something that bothers you so much.
Maybe because you don't understand what a girl could possibly see in Jung Wooyoung to willingly let him hold her hand or...God forbid, kiss her. Ew.
That's a lie, maybe even a bad attempt at coping on your part because there's a general consensus in your high school that Jung Wooyoung is good-looking.
You didn't even think he was ugly when you were younger, when he was pulling on your pigtails and teasing you for playing with dolls. He was cute for an annoying kid back then too with his chubby cheeks and bowl haircut.
He was especially cute now, a recent discovery of yours which you have no one else to thank except puberty. It did wonders on your hormones and it did wonders on Jung Wooyoung too.
His jawline got sharper the more baby fat he lost and lips grew fuller. His boyish smile was very attractive, even his smile lines were captivating. Wooyoung grew taller as well, not by much compared to the other boys in his grade but he was tall just enough so you'd have to look up to him when you argue but not enough to be intimidated by him.
So, yes, you supposed you'd understand the appeal if it weren't for his stupid mouth and mean words more often than not, directed at you. You threw shots back as well, sometimes even started an argument first if you were feeling particularly annoying but maybe that sums up why you're so bothered.
He started dating Chaeyoung at the beginning of this summer and since you have the fortune (read: misfortune) of living in the house right across the street from Wooyoung's, you were an unlucky witness to most of their dates.
And he was so sweet to her. He'd buy her cheap flowers and ice cream, they'd walk around the neighbourhood holding hands, they'd take Wooyoung's younger brother Kyungmin to the playground in the evenings. Wooyoung would smile a lot at her and Chaeyoung would always smile back.
You even saw them kiss. Just once.
When you were folding laundry in your bedroom, you looked through the window just in time to see their lips connect on Wooyoung's front porch. You quickly looked away, feeling shy and embarrassed, not understanding why you were blushing or feeling so sad all of a sudden.
Why was he so nice to other girls but never to you? You shouldn't think too much about it, the problem isn't you. Chaeyoung wasn't just some other girl but his girlfriend. Of course, he'd treat her special.
Whatever. You scoff as you watch Chaeyoung run to Wooyoung across the quad as you adjust your sports bag over your shoulder.
She jumps into his arms and you can hear his loud, annoying laughter even to here as his arms wrap around her and he picks her up from the ground.
"What are you doing?" You almost jump out of your skin at the sound of Ryujin's voice as she nosily tries to follow where you were staring at.
Ryujin was the first friend you met since you started high school two weeks ago. She might be the only friend you have for awhile since you haven't really been trying to even get to know your classmates as you were too busy trying out for the girls football team.
You don't remember when you started actively playing football exactly. You always played it for fun with the boys from the neighbourhood (Wooyoung included) but maybe it was around seventh grade when your dad pestered you into trying out a sport because he didn't know what else to do with you so he packed you up and sent you to a sports camp for two weeks one summer, that you started actually playing.
You went there only caring about your iPad and came back saying you'll be a professional football player.
Your dad doesn't want to say it but you know he thinks it's a fickle dream that will fizzle out with age.
Thankfully, Ryujin shared the same love for the sport as you so for now, you were relieved and content to spend time with her. She was nice.
You didn't need anyone else but maybe it would've been nice if someone who was older, who you were familiar with even if you always fought, would give you a couple of words of useful advice. Regarding the new teachers and subjects and all.
High school was scary.
"Nothing." You answer quickly, turning your back to Wooyoung and his girlfriend and fully facing your new friend.
"Nothing?" Ryujin gives you a suspicious smile, eyes darting over your shoulder once more before she ruffles your hair. You yelp. "Do you have a crush already, Y/N?"
You gently shove her away with a huff, fixing your bangs, "Don't be stupid. These boys are all ugly."
A crush. As if!
She laughs at that, throwing her arm around your shoulder as she directs you both to the field where practice was held, already yapping about her own crush.
-
"Hey, isn't that your neighbour?" Chaeyoung nudges Wooyoung with her elbow, nodding somewhere behind Wooyoung. He cranes his neck to follow the direction before his eyes land on you.
He snorts, "Yeah."
You were standing in the middle of the football field, sweaty and red in the face from all the running, with your hands on your hips as you paid attention to what your coach was yelling towards your teammates across the field.
The school's jersey seemed far too big on your lanky form and your hair was a mess, always slipping out of your ponytail. You were much smaller in build than the rest of the team and it looked funny to Wooyoung.
He didn't expect you to be into sports, let alone a sport like football. In fact, Wooyoung is surprised that you don't burst into tears when you start arguing with the makeshift referee played by another student. It's what usually happens if you spend longer than a minute arguing with Wooyoung.
And then he ends up being the bad guy for making you cry but no one ever mentions that you sometimes provoke him first as well but can't take it when it's dished right back.
Since you're such a crybaby.
He watches with an amused grin as you bare your teeth at the referee, who is really just a senior that thought it would be a fun time but now he has to stand arguing with you. And to Wooyoung's further amusement, the older boy who is almost two heads taller than you, looks like he's about to shit his pants in front of you.
Hm. Maybe not such a crybaby when it's anyone else but Wooyoung.
"I think she has a crush on you."
He turns to look at his girlfriend with a confused look, growing further confused when she smiles teasingly at him.
"Who?" He asks and she gives him a knowing look before nodding in your direction again. Wooyoung splutters out a surprised laugh, "Y/N?"
"Yeah." She nods excitedly, giggling, "She's cute."
Wooyoung scoffs with an eyeroll, "She's a kid."
A kid who might have a small crush on Wooyoung but still, a kid nonetheless.
He'd be stupid to say he didn't notice that you sometimes stare at him a little too much but what the hell is he supposed to do about that. You just started high school, you probably weren't even aware of what you were doing. It was a childish crush because at the end of the day that's what you are - childish.
Chaeyoung giggles again, the sound is soft and sweet, leaning her head against his shoulder.
"It's kind of sweet." She sighs dreamily and Wooyoung snorts because nothing about you was sweet, "You're her handsome neighbour, the only guy who's always been close to her since she was a kid, she probably starts those childish arguments with you so you'd give her attention and then writes about you in her diary and-"
"Y/N is the last person to have a diary, first of all." Wooyoung interrupts with a snicker before looking down on his girlfriend who is teasing him, "Second of all, you sound ridiculous."
Chaeyoung lifts her head up from where it rested against him and looks at him seriously, her lips pressed together. Then she starts imitating Wooyoung's last sentence in a deeper voice that sounds nothing like him, "You sound ridiculous-ah!"
She squeals when Wooyoung pinches her at the waist lovingly and it turns to tickling her as he presses kisses to her cheeks.
As they continue to exchange kisses between hushed giggles, the conversation about you is forgotten.
-
18 and 20 years old;
From the moment you opened the door to greet your date, you knew that the whole night would be a complete and utter disaster.
Maybe you watched too many teen movies that romanticized prom night so much that even you ended up believing and looking forward to the glorified fantasy of it but boy, were you in for a rude awakening.
Your prom date was a boy from your Calculus class named Eunwoo.
To be completely honest, you were convinced for the entirety of your senior year that you wouldn't have a date for prom at all because not much has changed since freshman year.
You still had one good friend (two, if you count Ryujin's friend that says she likes hanging out with you) and your focus was always on football. Add schoolwork and keeping up your good grades and you truly didn't have much time left for socializing.
So when Eunwoo pulled you aside after your football practice and asked you if you wanted to go to prom together with a handsome boyish smile on his face, your excitement for that night skyrocketed.
Eunwoo wasn't exactly a friend but he was nice to you during class, maybe you were wrong but his niceness sometimes even bordered flirting. Already, you were daydreaming about a possible boyfriend to spend your last summer with before you start college.
With a date or without one, you spend the bigger portion of your senior year saving up money for prom night or should you say prom preparations.
Makeup was never your strongest suit, in fact, it wasn't a suit of yours at all. You never wore it. You never did your hair either.
Even on the rare occasion that you went to a high school party, you never wore anything else aside from jeans and T-Shirts. You were an athlete and you committed to the bit entirely, always being ready to sweat and opting for comfort of loose clothes above anything else.
But you wanted to look nice for prom, pretty. Not because of Eunwoo but for yourself. Prom is only once and you wanted to make sure you do it with confidence.
All your saved up allowance went on the hair and makeup appointment along with your dress that Ryujin helped you pick out. The dress was quite simple in your opinion, a dark red one with a square neckline held up by two thin straps that clung to your curves and flared out at the bottom.
With your hair pinned up in an up-do with two curled strands framing your face and glitter on your eyelids, you thought you looked very pretty, beautiful even. Hell, it was probably the best you looked in your entire eighteen years of life. You could even put up with the painful heels for the sake of it.
Your dad made you pose over the whole house while you waited for your date to pick you up. First a photoshoot on the stairs, then one on the front porch, then a little in front of the living room fireplace.
He seemed so excited with his camera hanging around his neck as he followed you around the house.
It was one of the moments you wished your mom was here for but nonetheless, it was much fun with your dad only as well. You were happy.
It all went to shit though once you opened the door for Eunwoo and he started laughing in your face.
"Oh my God!" He laughs, almost doubling over at the apparent hilarity of your appearance, "What are you wearing?!"
You laugh nervously, ignoring your father's glance at you from the sheer embarrassment, "What? Is it that bad?"
"No, no." Eunwoo shakes his head, wiping a stray tear that escaped while he was laughing, "It's just not like you, at all."
"Oh." You give him a sour smile, your fragilely built ego shattering completely. "I was just...trying something new I guess..."
He snickers with a headshake before offering you his hand, "Come on, let's go take a photo?"
After a small moment of hesitation, feeling your cheeks burn from the humiliation, you let him grab your hand and step out on the front porch. Eunwoo places a hand around your waist to pull you closer as you both smile at your dad's camera.
A couple of photos later, you both head towards Eunwoo's car as your dad waves you goodbye. You give him a small, almost sad wave back as Eunwoo opens the door for you. You ask him;
"Do I really look funny?"
"No, you look pretty no matter what." He answers, helping you with your dress. "It's just doesn't suit you I guess, it's not like you."
"Ah..." You say staring at the dashboard as you watch him round the car to get into the driver's seat. You glance back at your dad just to see him get back into your house and for a split second, you want to call the whole thing off and go back inside with him.
Of course this doesn't suit you. You were the girl guys dapped up in the hallways, the girl that was always covered in hoodies and sweatpants and never wore makeup. You must look stupid, all dolled up like this. What were you thinking.
Prom celebration is usually held at a hotel not far from your high school. The ballroom is enormous, with vast marble floors and high ceilings illuminated by golden, shimmery lights. It looks straight out a fairytale with colorful dresses worn by pretty princess and handsome princes in their extravagant suits. Only, you don't feel like a princess at all.
Eunwoo and you find your table and you briefly say hi to Ryujin and her date. Ryujin tells you how amazing you look and you give her the first (and possibly, only) genuine smile of the night.
"So," Eunwoo starts the conversation a few minutes after you settle down at your table with drinks, "Did you decide where you're going for college? Any scouts?"
"I'm leaning towards SNU. Their Women's Football Club is really strong and I feel like they actually get proper investments and budget." You tell him and he grins interrupting your next sentence.
"See, this is why I like you. It's hard to find a girl who knows about sports and is so chill about everything."
Your mouth stays parted, the rest of your sentence (which was really just saying that the fact the male football team was hot contributed to your decision as joke) went unsaid as his words registered. Every "compliment" Eunwoo gives you is starting to come off so backhandedly that you're beginning to realize that while he thinks he has you all figured out - he doesn't actually know you at all.
You give him a fake laugh and pray to God it doesn't sound fake enough for him to notice as you take a sip of your drink.
An hour later, your heels are killing you so much that you've completely given up on dancing. You observe Ryujin on the dance floor with her date, still going at it and sigh with the silent question of when it would be your turn. Instead, you're stuck to the sidelines with shoes that feel awful on your feet and a date that can't stop talking about how it's attractive that you're a "girl that actually eats". Eunwoo's compliments are becoming weirder by the second.
"Should I just take you home?" Eunwoo asks with an amused smile as he observes you taking off your heels for the tenth time since you sat back down.
"Ah, would you mind?" You give him an apologetic smile, feeling like a burden and a not-so-much-fun date, "I'm sorry, Eunwoo, this is unfair to you-"
"Nah, I had a fun time." He shakes his head, downing the rest of his drink, "Next time, just be yourself though, yeah?"
The weirdly phrased statement makes you pause. "What do you mean?"
"You know, you don't have to dress like this!" He laughs, playfully playing with the thin strap of your dress. You subtly move away from his touch. "It's not like you at all. I don't know if your friends talked you into it just to fit in but you shouldn't let them push you around like this."
He's so wrong that you can't speak for a moment but even if you could, you feel like trying to explain yourself to him would be far too exhausting and would lead to nowhere. Nor do you want it to lead anywhere anymore, if you were honest.
"Girls like that are so exhausting." He gives a tired sigh. "Outfits and makeup aren't the only thing in the world."
"Girls....like that?"
"You know! Like, the touchy-feely shit. Everything is about color-coordination and nail polishes with them. God forbid their hair is out of place. What a headache!" Eunwoo runs a hand through his hear before giving you an award winning smile. "That's why I'm glad I got to hang out with you! You're real."
"I'm....real?" You ask with a cocked head as your eyes start to narrow. He's too busy thinking that you like what he's saying so he continues.
"Yeah. You know, you keep it real. You're not caught up in that frivolous, girly bullshit. You're so chill, Y/N." He keeps smiling at you like he just gave you the highest form of compliment he possibly could.
But you can't bring yourself to crack a smile even if someone held a barrel of a gun to your temple at the moment. In fact, you feel like throwing up. You should've know from the start, from the moment he was so unreasonably impressed with your lack of makeup at the beginning of the year.
Eunwoo was one of those guys.
"Um," You slide your heels back on and grab your clutch, "You know what, you stay. I'll go."
"Wait, what." His brows raise in half confusion and half surprise as he watches you stand up from your seat.
"Yeah, I'll walk home."
"Wait, Y/N. Why would you walk home? I already said I'd drop you off-"
"No thanks. I don't want to get in a car with a sexist."
"What?!" Eunwoo reels back, "What the fuck are you talking about?! I'm not a sexist! I respect women!"
You huff, turning to him with a glare. "You respect women who are "cool" and "chill" and basically act like men. You should've just taken one of your dudes to prom if these are your opinions. I'm out."
So, that's how you find yourself in your pretty dress sitting in one of the plastic chairs of a convenience store with a popsicle in your mouth as you watch the cars drive by. You were too embarrassed to arrive home so early, you hyped up prom night so much to your dad - you'd rather lie and tell him you had a good time.
If the night couldn't possibly get any shittier, while you eat away at your cherry popsicle feeling undeniably sorry for yourself, you hear a familiar laugh followed by sounds of shoes scuffing against the pavement towards the convenience store.
Of course. Of fucking course, Jung Wooyoung would show up now, when you needed him least.
You try to make yourself seem as small as possible in the plastic chair, hoping he or his two friends wouldn't notice you (which in retrospect was a dumb hope, you were sitting right by the entrance in a fucking prom dress).
Ever since Wooyoung graduated high school two years ago, you only saw him in passing. He'd come home for Christmas holidays or a week or two during the summers and you'd only catch him skunk out of his house and into his dad's car if you were lucky. Unlucky, that is of course.
Maybe you were hoping he wouldn't even recognize you and although it would kind of hurt (as embarrassing as that is to admit), you feel like it would be a better option.
But since you were on a roll tonight, obviously this is just another thing that doesn't go your way.
"Nice dress, Y/L/N." You hear Wooyoung's voice speak, followed by snickers from his idiotic friends and his own attempt at stifling his laughter as they walk past you and into the convenience store, the small bell above the door signaling their entrance.
That ends up being your last straw.
You don't cause another fight or yell something back after him, no, you don't have the energy to do that tonight. Instead, you feel like you will cry.
Tears are already burning at your eyes and your bottom lip wobbles, you're not even aware that your eyes follow Wooyoung through the display of the store, watching him as he picks up a pack of beer and heads for the cashier.
He got even more painfully handsome than he was when you'd see him every day before he graduated. His hair was double toned, the top of it black and the bottom strands bleached, brushing the nape of his neck.
You think you could even see a tattoo peaking under his shirt as he moves.
Jung Wooyoung was so not your type. Not that you really knew what your type was but all the guys that you found cute in your high school years were athletes, jocks who were organized and dedicated to their routine which in your opinion showcased their maturity, got good grades and were respected by their peers. Wooyoung was really the complete opposite of that so it was hard to explain why you so weirdly hung up over his approval.
He's still laughing about something with his friends, it would hurt so badly if it was about you, as his eyes dart through the display and connect with your own.
Wooyoung does a double take before his big smile slowly slips and dare you say, eyes soften as he looks at you and his lips part as if he wants to say something.
It could all be in your head though and you're feeling even worse now that he caught you staring at him like a total creep, so you throw your popsicle in the trash and get up with a sigh, slipping back into your heels and deciding to just go home.
-
"Hey, Y/L/N! Wait up, I'll give you a ride home!" Wooyoung calls out after you, the plastic bag swinging back and forth in his hand.
He can hear Chanwook's hushed objection which Wooyoung chooses to ignore, instead focused on walking closer to you. You couldn't make it far since you were basically limping in your heels.
"No thanks." Wooyoung hears your response and rolls his eyes. He hasn't spoken to you in the last two years at all but he can see that nothing has changed much - you were still too stubborn for your own good.
You didn't even bother to turn back and look at him, instead you hitch your dress further up and continue up the street and away from the convenience store.
"Y/N, come on. Quit being a brat and just wait for me to bring the car around."
"I said no!" You yell over your shoulder and let out a small yelp when you stutter a bit on your feet. To Wooyoung, you resembled Bambi right now.
"I'm trying to help you!" He yells back, still following you, "Just let me drive you back-"
"Wooyoung, seriously, fuck off!" You turn to face him with red cheeks and teary eyes (maybe that's why he's insisting so badly to drive you home, you simply look pathetic), "I don't need your fucking help!"
Wooyoung reels back at your tone and harsh words and then a wave of embarrassment washes over him when he hears Chanwook and Eunhyuk laugh behind him, at the fact that he just got told off by his little neighbour.
The embarrassment is followed up by anger that prickles at his skin like needles, he scoffs and if there's one thing Wooyoung will be - it's petty; "Fine! Limp home in your stupid heels then, see if I give a shit!"
You don't give him a response and Wooyoung doesn't bother to look for it either, instead turns around on his feet and heads towards his car (his dad's car). But not before telling a laughing Chanwook to shut the fuck up.
But once he's in the car with the keys in the ignition, he stares at the steering wheel in obvious contemplation before letting out a small groan, "Fuck."
Wooyoung turns to Chanwook, "Sit in the back, please."
His friend looks at him in surprise and confusion. "What?"
"Just sit in the back, will you? Please." Wooyoung repeats, avoiding Chanwook's eyes but feeling his stumped stare.
"Wooyoung, you cannot be serious." His friend laughs in disbelief as if reading his mind, looking around before giving Wooyoung another incredulous look, "She just told you to fuck off!"
Eunhyuk is quiet in the back which is a huge relief for Wooyoung, he really didn't need to defend himself to his other friend too.
"I can't let her go by foot in the dark, you've seen her! She can barely walk!" Wooyoung says defensively to both of his friends as Chanwook moves to the back with a huff.
"And that's your problem...how?" Chanwook, like the annoying pest he is, asks.
"It's not...." Wooyoung trails off, trying to look for an excuse as to why he was going out of his way to give you a ride home. "But...but her dad would kill me if he knew I saw her and didn't drive her back. It's only right."
Chanwook smacks his lips obnoxiously loud, "Sure."
Wooyoung doesn't even need to turn around to know that his friend is giving him a very bold side eye right now.
Eunhyuk snorts but doesn't say anything else. Wooyoung is thankful for that at least.
"She probably won't even want to get in the car." Chanwook comments quietly as they reach you on the sidewalk. He ends up being ignored.
Wooyoung rolls the window of the old car down so he can talk to you, he has to say you're walking at an impressively slow pace. "Y/N, get in the car."
He hears you groan dramatically from the outside, "Jung, you're not my dad. Stop telling me what to do."
Wooyoung ignores Chanwook and Eunhyuk's snickers in the back once again, he grows even more irritated, "I'll call your fucking dad right now and tell him you're walking home alone this late. How about that?"
You turn to him with your glossy lips twisted into a scowl, "You wouldn't."
Always ready to prove a point or in this case, lie straight out of his ass, Wooyoung makes a show of stopping his car next to the sidewalk and fishing his phone from the pocket of his jacket before opening up his contacts and beginning to scroll. He doesn't even have your dad's number.
But Wooyoung is a professional bullshitter so he keeps pressing random buttons with a straight face and presses the phone to his ear before turning to you with his brows raised-
"Okay, fine!" You exclaim with an angry huff and start rounding his car as your cheeks flush a pretty pink color. Wait, pretty-? You open the door and angrily plop into the passenger's seat with a glare directed towards him, "Fucking snitch."
Wooyoung ignores you, locking his phone without another word and beginning to drive away.
There's an awkward silence in the car, only sounds being made are those of the plastic bags filled with beer that keep rustling in Eunhyuk's lap.
"This isn't the way to our street." You say and Wooyoung might be crazy but you almost sound a little nervous at that. He glances at you before it dawns onto him. Of course, you'd be feeling nervous.
It's nighttime and you're in a car with three dudes older than you who you don't know that well. Wooyoung didn't even bother telling you about his plan before he started driving. A curse runs through his head before he clears his throat,
"I'll just drop these two off at a party nearby and then drive you home." He murmurs, chest constricting a little when he sees you cross your hands over your chest, a gesture which makes you seem smaller.
"Wait, wha-" Chanwook, gosh he was really pissing Wooyoung off tonight, starts from the backseat. "Woo, I thought you were going too-"
"I will." Wooyoung interrupts him with a clenched jaw as he pulls up to the house where the party is held, "I'll drop Y/N off and then come back, it won't take more than fifteen minutes. Now get out- Wait, give me that bag right there."
Eunhyuk hands him one of the plastic bags and Wooyoung fishes through it and pulls out two blueberry ice creams out of it before giving the bag back to Eunhyuk. Which he bought for himself, of course. Not because he saw your popsicle melting on the pavement or anything.
Chanwook watches with a dropped jaw before huffing, Wooyoung hears him murmur, "Doing it for her dad, my ass-"
"I'll be right back!" Wooyoung announces loudly, far too loudly, and Eunhyuk slams the car door shut so Wooyoung can drive away.
When he pulls away, the silence in the car is almost stifling so Wooyoung offers you the ice cream, "Here."
You look at him like a second head just popped out of his shoulder before looking back through the window and ignoring him completely. Wooyoung lets out a small groan. So stubborn.
"Oh my God, just take it." He says, placing the ice cream on your lap as he continues to drive. He bites back a smile when he sees you stare at the ice cream on your lap for a long second before grasping it and opening the wrapper so you can eat it.
Wooyoung really doesn't know what he's doing right now.
He doesn't know why he bought ice creams for you, he doesn't know why he insisted on getting rid of his friends first before dropping you off home, he has no idea why he keeps glancing at you every couple of seconds from the corner of his eye and he especially doesn't have a clue why he takes the longer route home.
When tomorrow comes and he wakes up hangover from the party and probably in someone else's bed, he'll give himself the same excuse he gave the boys. He wanted to make sure you got home safely because it's the right thing to do. There was nothing else to it.
But in this moment, right now, in the stifling silence and the breeze that flows through the opened window's because the air conditioning isn't working - Wooyoung notices things that he feels embarrassed to notice, or maybe he noticed them before but never allowed himself to appreciate them until tonight.
Like, how nice your bare neck and collarbones look now that your hair is pinned up in soft curls. A thin silver necklace graces your neck. Or how the two curled strands at the front frame your face prettily. Your eyelids are painted with something shimmery which Wooyoung doesn't know the name of and your cheekbones are a soft peach color intentionally placed there beforehand.
Your glossy lips wrap around the ice cream cone and you bite off a huge chunk.
"Why are you staring at me?" Wooyoung can decipher the question even through the mouthful of ice cream as you give him a slight glare.
Because you're pretty. Is what he wants to say, honest and bare, but he obviously can't because you're you and he's Wooyoung. "Because you have ice cream on your nose."
His hands tighten against the steering wheel when he sees you quickly look to the side and wipe at your nose self-consciously. You blush a scarlet red from the embarrassment. Great, now he feels like an asshole.
Wooyoung clears his throat, "Why did you look so sad? Back there, in front of the store."
He has no idea why he's trying to make conversation with you. You two never do that, never did. The closest thing to a conversation between Wooyoung and you would be the arguments you'd have in the middle of the school hallway when he'd tease you for your braces.
Those came off as well, by the way, he can see the pearly white teeth perfectly aligned now as you speak. No longer crooked. Maybe he'd like to see them pulled up in a smile but that's borderline wishful thinking now. You smiling at Wooyoung? Yeah, right.
"No reason." You tell him quietly, slumping in your seat as you continue to eat your ice cream. You sigh with an eyeroll, "Just...prom sucked."
Likely thing to happen.
The key is to go to prom with your expectations so low that you can only go up from there but Wooyoung had an inkling feeling that having low expectations wasn't in your nature.
Besides, you were a jock. He remembers even when you were a freshman, you were already running with the popular crowd without even being aware of it, with the athletes and the cheerleaders. Prom night is sort of a pinnacle of the high school experience for people like you.
Guess it's a bummer that you look like you had a shit time.
He hums, "At the end of the day, it's just another Friday night. Nothing special. So even if it sucked, you'll get over it."
Maybe he wasn't the best at giving advice or comforting people.
You side eye him and he pretends not to see it before you quietly add, "I don't usually spend a year worth of allowance on just another Friday night."
Wooyoung cracks a smile, teasing you being a second nature even if you barely spoke since he graduated, "What? Did you expect a prince charming to sweep you off your feet so you two can dance the night away or something? I didn't know you were into that corny shit, Y/L/N."
He hears you scoff, cheeks still red as you roll your eyes, seriously annoyed, "Whatever. Forget I said anything."
Wooyoung's gives a forced snicker just to annoy you before his smile drops again and his eyes flutter shut for a moment out of pure frustration at his own stupidity, internally cursing himself. If shooting yourself in the foot was a person - it would have Jung Wooyoung's photo and name posted under it.
Why can't you just be nice to her?
The air in the car turns even more awkward and Wooyoung shifts uncomfortably in his seat while you continue to eat your ice cream in silence as you stare through the window.
He slows down in front of your house just when you're finishing your ice cream.
You crumple the wrapper in your hand, place the second ice cream on the dashboard and grab the small bag laying on your lap before grabbing the door handle.
"I hope," Wooyoung starts and when you turn to look at him, he's overcome with a sudden coughing fit which is really just awkwardness and the need to fix whatever the fuck he broke a little even more tonight, "Uh, hope you took some good pictures tonight at least because..."
He trails off, feeling like it was his first time flirting with a girl. Wait, what the fuck. He was not flirting with you. Not even a little bit. Wooyoung was simply trying to pay you a compliment. Simple as that. It doesn't have to be anything more. You don't even need to be friends to pay someone a compliment, in fact, Wooyoung is positive that regular archnemeses complimented each other at least once.
Unfortunately, compliments aren't the norm between the two of you, so whatever nice thing he says feels wrong.
Your brows raise.
"You know," He trails off, scratching the back of his neck in an attempt to seem cool and collected. He nonchalantly adds but his side glances might give him away, fortunately you're too much of a ditz to notice, "You look good."
You stare at him for a long moment, seriously it's so long that he almost changes his mind and adds an insult just so you two would be back in those familiar waters of bickering and teasing each other but then your eyebrows fall back down and a scowl overtakes your features.
"Yeah, right." You mumble and Wooyoung almost feels insulted for some reason but then you continue, "Thanks for the ride."
And then you're out of the car and already moving across your front lawn before Wooyoung can snap out of it and remember to turn the car back on.
-
19 and 21 years old;
"10 more minutes! Y/L/N stop arguing with that asshole and get back into your position before you're out of the game completely!"
Your coach is red in the face from all the shouting and you know what's good for you, so you keep your mouth shut as you run to your spot, thoroughly ignoring the glare your team's captain shoots at you from your right.
The 'asshole' that your coach is referring to is the referee who didn't count a player from the rival team almost breaking your leg by bulldozing into you - as a foul.
"-stole Eunha's position from her and can't even play properly." You hear a snicker behind you and don't even have to turn to know who it's directed at.
Despite it being only your first semester, you haven't made the greatest impression on your teammates (nor did you try all that much to change that impression).
So for the time being, when there was no rival team, you were the collective enemy in the changing rooms and on the practice field. A freshman who kicked their friend from the spot she had since she started college. A freshman who thought she was better than the rest of her team. A freshman who didn't know how to behave at times. A freshman that made them run extra laps because she was bad at remembering all the new rules at times.
And now, a freshman that was playing badly and fucking up things for the rest of them.
"Y/N!" A hiss from your right is heard and your eyes zero in on your captain, Jihyo, who is staring at you. "Focus."
You swallow harshly and give her a quick now before focusing your gaze to the front.
In high school, you weren't used to losing. You were a winner, it's what you prided yourself in. Failure wasn't an option when it came to football.
But turns out in college, when all the other players are as good as you, winning isn't as easy.
In fact it’s a lot harder than you thought it would be. Nearing the end of the first half the score sheet is still empty and it annoys all of the players and the fans as well. The weirdest thing is how ball is not even on your team's side of the field most of the time; your defenders did not have a very entertaining start of the game in comparison to defenders from Busan, who already look out of breath from all of the attacks to their side. Not to mention that they keep teaming up on you specifically.
You can’t pinpoint what exactly is wrong and why there was no goal to this point; half of you thinks it’s because you didn’t blend well with the team.
"Run, run, run!" Yeonjin shouts, when Sinb loses the ball and Busan’s midfielders rush to their side.
The spike of adrenaline energizes you and your eyes zero on the ball, running after it. Mina’s figure passes from your left and both of you corner the midfielder, successfully getting the ball to your side. You have it and quickly pass it to Yeonjin, seeing her signal for the ball. You watch her run off when a body collides with your own and the impact is so strong, you lose your balance, falling down.
‘What?’ You ask yourself in disbelief not understanding how you're sprawled across the grass again, slowly standing up. At first you're shell-shocked but now anger fills you to the brim when you see that it's the same girl who intentionally collided with you the first time, watching you with a smug smirk and then you're just ready to fight.
You push back at her and get even angrier when the bitch doesn't fall.
"Are you going to go tattle to mommy?" She asks with a mocking concern and you can’t hear anything; you even forget that you are in the middle of the game because your anger turns your vision red.
With a loud groan, you launch towards her and grab her by the shirt, screaming to her face that 'she's a cunt'. There are hands around you, pulling you away, trapping you and not letting you go even when you try to break free.
Jihyo's face is in front of you and you can't register what she's saying but you can see her turn red from how pissed off she is. Maybe it's better if you're not listening to her, if you can't hear anyone actually...but then-
"Hey, number nine! You better not fucking cry!"
At first, you think the loud yell came from somewhere on the field. You thought another player from the Busan team was talking shit. And then,
"Number nine! Crybaby!"
There's some laughter in the audience and it's then that you realize the voice is shouting from the fucking bleachers.
A teammate is already pulling you in the opposite direction but your eyes are glued to crowd sitting on the sidelines, the annoying voice insistently yelling. Crybaby. Crybaby. Crybaby.
The worst part is that the voice sounds so painfully familiar, you just can't put your finger on it. Who.
You're about to let it go. You're about to be the bigger person and not act like a total brute on the field, just let it go Y/N. But then-
"Hey, hey crybaby!" You stop in your tracks, head whipping to the direction the voice was coming from and eyes coasting over the bleachers. "What kind of hill did you roll down from that you don't even know how to push someone back properly?!"
Finally, you spot it. Him. In a red hoodie, making sure to stand out in the sea of blue. It's no wonder the voice sounded so eerily familiar, you've heard it screaming at you for the majority of your childhood and a good chunk of your teen years.
Because he rolled down the same hill as you with only a street separating you.
When he realizes that you've caught onto him, he gives you that smile. That grin that never led to anything good, pearly white teeth gleaming under the lights of the bleachers as he taunts you.
You blood pressure jumps so, you take a deep breath and....scream;
"Jung Wooyoung!"
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EXPERIMENT 56 [your time is coming] sequel | PART 5 |
AVATAR MASTERLIST | EXPERIMENT 56 masterlist
PAIR: Neteyam x Human reader. ( a mix of human and Navi )
Other pairs: Quaritch x reader (platonic) , sully fam x reader.
SUMMARY: Y/N thinks she has a peaceful life with her new family. But a sudden visitor is about to change her life and her family's life.
WARNINGS: 18+, the characters are aged up 20's, a little violence, don't worry no one dies, Y/N and neteyam being parents , Bestie stuff, Family moments.
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5
Note: I hope you like this chapter, Sorry it took so long to upload this part. I've had a lot of work this week, I've even been sick. But I will be catching up this week. Thanks for the support~~
Max was examining the results that norm had given him 5 minutes ago. He hadn't quite entered the lab, when he came upon the image of Quaritch sitting on the examination table, jake sitting across from him looking at him, as if his life depended on it. And norm asking him a few routine questions. As soon as norm noticed max's presence, both men ran up to him and started asking him questions.
"So?" asks Jake, waiting for an answer from his friend. Damn this knowing what was wrong with Quaritch was killing him. Max keeps looking at the results and talking to himself. "No abnormal activity" says max, looking innocently at the two men. - "Max…we know that…we want to know if there's another 'type' of activity?" shouts norm, the man is hysterical because he's had jake screwing with his existence for the last 4 hours. "He says it's someone else," says jake. Max goes back to looking at the results and walks over to Quaritch. Jake and norm watch as their friend starts talking to the man, it was nonsense questions. About everyday life, or what he liked to do. He also asked him how he had been feeling in the last few months and if he had experienced any changes.
After about half an hour, Jake sees Max approaching them. "His consciousness woke up, that's all. I have to run some more tests, but I'm pretty sure," Max says, as if what he is saying is understood by everyone. The man sees how jake and norm are looking at him open-mouthed.
"OK… The avatars they used for the Recoms, they are avatars that already had consciousness. They needed them to have consciousness so that they would be able to accept the memories of the military. A body that has no consciousness cannot walk on its own. It was like a celebral abduction, they repressed the southconsciousness of these avatars and made them believe that the memories they were introducing were theirs" max speaks. Jake couldn't believe what he was hearing. Norm walks over to his friend.
"Oh…that's right. That's why our avatars couldn't walk around without us, because they had no pre-designed consciousness, they were like newborn babies. While these ones had trained them, to then erase everything…" Norm begins to search and write down what they discovered. " You're telling me… that the man in there… he just had a spiritual awakening and now he's not what we think he is. " jake almost screams, he's frustrated. "Yes… he's totally someone else. He tells me that all the memories he has are of that person…but he's not that military guy" max says.
Jake was going to have a heart attack. You were right, Y/N was right. But he couldn't help but feel that he was in danger, this man who claims to be someone else. He had tried to hurt his family, and he had kidnapped you. He had done so much damage to his now home, pandora. He cannot accept. Norm can watch as jake walks out of the lab, and leaves everyone behind. "Hey where are you going?" yells Norm, as he watches his friend walk away from the lab. Norm knows jake will be fine, he just needs more time. "So what do we do with him?" asks max, giving a look at quaritch who was already lying on the table, while looking at the ceiling and playing with his tail. "I don't know…let's do some more tests" says norm. "He looks like an abandoned kitten" says max. "That's what I say" norm laughs a little.
On the other hand… Y/N was following the strange noises she heard. They were like begging and whimpering…and you were pretty sure they weren't from any animal…they were from a human or some na'vi asking for help. You had lo'ak behind you, both of them had stopped running to approach the target. You had to be quiet, you didn't want to scare anyone. To your good fortune you were both very good at it. You and Lo'ak were experienced at sneaking and being quiet, you had escaped from the family hut many times.
Neteyam had his arrow inches away from spider's head, trapping him on the ground. While the boy tried to cover as much of his face as he could with his hands. A single arrow and he would be dead in seconds. "Nete…what's wrong with you?" said spider, his voice trembling, his eyes tightly closed. He didn't know what was happening, but he knew it was impossible to escape. Neteyam's pupils were dilated, beads of sweat were running down his forehead. He was in a trance of rage. Why did he always have to be involved in everything…why did he always have to be with you? Why you were always looking for spider's help, and not him. Neteyam wanted to overcome everything that had happened, but it was impossible for him. Why did spider have to help you, why wasn't he a good friend and he went and told him. He doesn't trust him… they are supposed to be friends, almost brothers…
Just as the arrow was slipping through his fingers, neteyam moved his arm a little to the left. Causing the arrow to pass right next to spider's head, burying itself in the ground. Spider felt like life was passing through his eyes. Neteyam stayed pointed at spider for a second, bow empty. "Nete…please put the bow down?" says spider, moving his hand to move the bow. Spider noticed that neteyam didn't exert any force, and was able to take the bow and put it on the ground. Neteyam's chest was heaving up and down, he looked like he was in a state of shook. He was a second away from ending his friend's life, how could he be able to do that. And still spider had gotten up from the ground, and had his hands in his arms. Trying to sit him down, spider gets neteyam to sit up. The boy moves a little away from the na'vi in hopes of giving him some space.
"Why does y/n always look for you?" speaks neteyam, sitting on the ground his head was hanging down. It was a sign of defeat. His jealousy had consumed him, to the point of eliminating what he thought was a threat, spider. He felt bad spider had nothing to do with it, even you…you had nothing to do with it. The problem was him. "y/n…she's my friend" spider says in a shaky voice. Neteyam looks up and looks at the boy. You could see the fear she had towards him. "I know she is your friend…but she doesn't trust me" says neteyam, he is silent waiting for some answer from spider.
"She trusted you…and you helped her bring our enemy to the village. She could have counted on my help, but no…she looked for you" says neteyam, now he had his whole body turned to spider. He had an authoritative attitude, but it wasn't defensive. "I think she looked to me for help…for fear that you wouldn't help her. Understand this is a delicate situation…but I didn't agree at first. Besides, you met that man once," says spider. Neteyam crawls a little closer to spider, runs his hands over the back of his neck as he sighs loudly. "Us? You mean my father?" asks neteyam.
"You know how jake is and she…y/n likes to help everyone. She…" Spider pauses. "She's great," says spider. Neteyam's eyes focus on the attitude spider now has. He looked kind of sad. "She's all yours neteyam…she loves you so much. If she seeks my help it is because we are friends…very good friends" spider says, raising his gaze to look at neteyam. He laughs a little, relaxing his shoulders. Maybe he had overacted. "You have a beautiful baby…you have a family with her," spider's voice sounds a little gruff. "I know I missed my chance with her a long time ago…I'm just helping her like I would help you" he says.
Neteyam reaches over to drape an arm around the boy's shoulders and give him a nudge. "Thank you…and sorry for trying to kill you" neteyam says laughing a little. "Oh don't worry…it's not the first time they've done it" neteyam started laughing and spider followed him. They stood in silence for a moment enjoying the tranquility of the jungle. "You know I think Y/N looked me up because she thought I might have some kind of relationship with Quaritch" says spider. "That makes sense" says neteyam. Boy were they stupid, maybe that was your plan all along. A noise interrupts them as the two boys see two figures emerge from the bushes. Y/N falls to the ground and is followed by an agitated lo'ak. They both quickly get up in attack position. Neteyam and spider stand there with their mouths hanging open.
"Ahhhh" yells lo'ak, you see neteyam and spider sitting next to each other. You had misheard…you could have sweared you heard some screaming. "Hello yawnetu!!!" says neteyam, sitting up straight and raising his hand to greet you. Spider copies his movements. He had to pretend, if you found out that he had tried to tempt spider's life…ohhh he was in a lot of trouble. He might be big, but you intimidated the hell out of him. You quickly approach neteyam and you sniff him.
"Something happened" you speak. The two men laugh nervously as they look at each other. "Nooo we were here practicing and talking" says spider. You turn your gaze to analyze the boy. "You were with lo'ak?" asks neteyam to change the subject and distract you. "Yes…we were at the beach" you turn your attention to neteyam. He grabs you by the arm and pulls you so that you are now by his side. "Hey why don't we go to the village…I'm hungry" says lo'ak who all this time had been lying down. Neteyam gets up from the ground, just like spider. They all take their possessions and make their way to the village. As they walked, spider and neteyam gave each other a few glances as they laughed a little. Neteyam was glad to have a friend like spider… who would forgive something like what had happened a few moments ago, nobody. But spider did… he was a strange boy.
Arriving at the village, you see how neytiri is talking to jake outside the family hut. You all glance at each other, and walk over to where the couple is. "Dad…what happened?" you say, a little worried. From the look on his face and the way his tail was all up in the air, you knew your father was having a nervous breakdown. Well, he was always like that…but you were sure he was about to collapse. "Y/N you were right…max just confirmed it" says jake raising his arms a little upset. "I'm what?" you're confused, what's going on. Neytiri tries to calm jake down, and invites them all into the hut. "I'm going to get norm and max" says jake, running towards the lab area. "Mom…" you look at neytiri, who is also confused. Neytiri leads us inside and orders us to sit down.
"Mom, where is noah't" you ask for your son, who is probably hungry. "Kiri has taken him to play with tuk, relax, he is fine" Neytiri gives you a squeeze on your arm, sitting down next to you. Everyone was quiet. Lo'ak and spider were talking about anything. And neteyam is next to you, he was playing with a bracelet he had on his ankle, you knew he was nervous about something, you knew it had to do with what happened a few moments ago with spider. You walk over and lay your head on his shoulder. "Is something wrong? Are you okay?" you ask, neteyam just looks at you and nods his head. His eyes betrayed him…he was feeling guilty. What happened? Out of nowhere, you see norm, max and jake enter the hut.
"Hello family!!!" says Norm, sitting down next to everyone. Jake and max follow him. You see that they have some papers in their hands. You were so curious to see what those papepes had written on them. Max looks at you and laughs a little, as does Norm. "You were right little girl… Quaritch is someone else" says Max, everyone is shocked. What do you mean, he's someone else? So what you had interpreted about eywa was correct. Max tried to explain as much as he could so that everyone understood, spider and lo'ak understood. Even neteyam understood what max meant. But your mother, neytiri is not convinced. "We are going to say that in about 2 or 3 months his past memory will be erased. He will be kept with personality traits and some vague memories." Max says ending his monologue. "So what do we do now?" asks neteyam.
"I don't know…you decide" says norm, looking at you quickly. Oh no, now this was your decision. You had gotten it right the first time, now you had to decide what to do about Quaritch. "Mmm we can ask grandma" you speak up. Neytiri supports your decision. "I think it is the right thing to do, tomorrow morning we will all get together and talk to mo'at. She will recommend us what to do" said neytiri with a serious voice. You were always impressed when she spoke like that, you see how everyone nods and hurries your mother's order. "Perfect" says Jake. After a long talk and norm answered some questions about the situation with Quaritch. Norm and max leave. So does spider, saying goodbye to everyone. Thus leaving neytiri, neteyam , lo'ak , jake and you alone in the hut.
"I'm sorry I didn't trust you" says jake, his hand was now holding yours. Your father could be stubborn at times, and it was normal for him to worry. And you hated to see him like that, you knew that the grief and shame he had now had no reason to feel it. "Dad… don't say that" you stand up and hug him. Jake wraps his arms around you and presses you to his chest. "D…daddy" you giggle a little. "Ma jake, let her go" says neytiri laughing a little."My baby girl…" jake says, letting go of you and giving you a kiss on the forehead. "I promise you everything will be okay" you speak, looking at your mother. You knew she was uncomfortable with this whole situation, but she knew how to handle her emotions very well. "I know" says Neytiri, pulling you close to give you another kiss on the cheek. You watch as your two parents look at you, you might be so different, but they loved you so much and trusted you blindly. You hear some smiles and smirks at the entrance. And you all see how kiri enters with tuk, tuk was holding noah't in his arms. While he was playing with some braids in his hair.
"Look who's there!!!" says tuk, pointing at you so your son could see you. Noah't stretched out his little arms as soon as he saw his mom and dad. "Come here" you speak, making faces at noah't. Tuk hands him to you, and you quickly begin to kiss his chubby cheeks. Neteyam is next to you, so you pick up the baby for him to give him a kiss too. Neteyam gives him a kiss and this causes a tender noah't smile. He is already on your chest, laying his head down to fall asleep. "We fed him fruit and played with him a lot" says tuk excitedly. "I see they put something in his hair too" you say, taking a closer look at the baby's new hair ornament. "Yes…that will bring him good luck" says kiri, as she lay down in her hammock. "Ahh yes, how?" asks neteyam, who is now examining the new object in his son's hair. "It's a good luck stone… relax" says neytiri, the woman was looking for various things for the meal. Kiri sticks his tongue out at his older brother and he copies the same gesture.
Neteyam bends, and comes up to your ear. "Ma y/n could we go to our home?" asks neteyam, you stroke your face a little on his cheek, handing him noah't and picking yourself up off the floor. Neteyam copies your movements. "Well…I guess we're leaving" jake is shocked usually you two stay up late with them. "why? you don't want dinner" jake gives neteyam a look, the boy gets a little nervous. "mmm no dad it's just that we are kind of tired" neteyam says shyly. Neteyam was still getting very nervous if he tried to confront his father. "but" jake starts to speak, but is interrupted by a laughing lo'ak. "Father…don't you see they want to be 'alone'" lo'ak speaks in a mocking voice. You laugh a little, you knew neteyam was tired, but you also knew his intentions. "ok….let's go" you start to push neteyam by the thighs, before he started to fight with lo'ak. All the family members say goodbye and you continue on your way to your hut.
You quickly arrived at your hut. Neteyam held noah't, and sat with him on the ground. It was still early to go to sleep, so you had to entertain him for a while before he fell asleep. Luckily for you, your son was a very quiet baby. You sit down next to neteyam, knowing he was acting strange, "Did something happen…between you and spider?" you ask. You could see his ears wiggle and his tail stiffen and start to wag slowly. "mmm I…nothing. Nothing happened" says neteyam. "Neteyam… you are lying to me" you question him. Neteyam sits with his legs crossed and his back straight. He looked like a little boy about to be scolded by his mother, it gave you a little tenderness.
"I will tell you the truth" says neteyam. You look at him waiting for an answer. It couldn't be that serious. "I tried to kill spider…but we talked and now everything is fine" says neteyam, he talked as fast as he could so you wouldn't understand well, but boy did you. "You what!!! So the screams I heard were from spider" you raise your voice a little. "Ma y/n everything is fine…calm down" neteyam says, trying to calm you down. You had already gotten up from the ground, and you were right in front of him. It's not like you were very intimidating, even standing up. He looked bigger than you. "Why would you do something like that? Spider didn't do anything" you say. Neteyam looks down.
"I know…and that's why I regretted it. It wasn't right, I let my emotions guide me" he lowered his head in regret. Trying to do damage, and for no justifiable reason was not approved behavior in the omaticaya clan. It was a very passive clan. "Emotions…or jealousy?" you sputter, as you wait for neteyam to have something to say to you. But you only resent a 'mmm' and feel him tilt his head to your chest. You reach out to hug his head. "I don't want to know the reason for the situation…because I'm sure it's something stupid. But did you apologize to spider?" you ask. "Yes I did…spider is a good friend and he understood me" says neteyam, pressing his head on your chest. You stay for a while, stroking his scalp, and giving him a few kisses on the top of his hair. Until you feel someone tapping your foot. You look down, and see noah't raising his arms.
"Ahhh my precious baby…I love you too" you turn away from neteyam, to now sit on his lap. Placing noah't on your chest, you are sure he is very hungry. Neteyam settles in and hugs you. So that both of you are comfortable on his chest. "Why did you ask for spider's help, if I'm ready to do everything for you?" asks neteyam, while rocking in your arms. "You would have helped me care for and feed our father's enemy?" neteyam is silent, of course he wouldn't have. "Spider always does what I want" you speak in a mocking voice. "So you used him" you look up, neteyam had a smile on his lips. "Hey…don't say it like that. Yes…but I didn't mean it that way. He's my friend, that's all" you return to settle back on his chest.
After an hour, Noah wasn't very sleepy. So you put him in his hammock. A small hammock that his aunt kiri had made for him. "He looks so cute!!!" you give him a soft kiss on his cheeks, as you watch the baby settle in. You carefully close the curtain that separated the baby's space from the hut (for privacy) "Hey come here" says neteyam, he was sitting on the other side of the hut. Luckily for you your home was quite big, designed for a family of 5 people. You walk towards him, you see that he has some kind of cream in his hands. "What is it?" you watch as neteyam takes some out of the bottle, and takes your arm to apply it to your skin. "It's ngrr help for hybridization, and it smells great too" neteyam takes your arm, and sniffs the scent leaving a kiss. You laugh a little but let him continue what he is planning to do.
You stand in front of him, watch as he takes a generous amount in his hands and mixes it in his palms. Now he begins to massage it into your legs, his hands gently massaging your skin. You see how he is giving you a few looks, and he comes over to give you a kiss on your shoulder. As he continues to carefully massage your legs, he gently moves up from your calves to the back of your thighs and you feel him squeeze his hands. "They are so soft and plump" neteyam bites his lip and you giggle a little taking his face in your hands. "Hey…easy" you tease, as you feel his grip get tighter and he moves his hands to squeeze your ass. In one swift movement he pulls you closer to him, so that your hands are now around his neck. His hands now crawl to your crotch, to pull you up. You had reached his lips, pulling him closer to you to deepen the kiss, as he let out a few desperate moans, while his hands made quick work of your clothing.
In a matter of seconds your clothes were on the floor, while his hands touched any part of your body he could reach. He seemed so desperate for your touch, and there you could understand his behavior. "Are you?" you pull away a little from his lips, but he keeps leaving kisses on your jaw and breasts. "Neteyam… I" your voice is clipped as you feel his hands lift you off the ground. And he straddles you towards the hammock you both shared. Your back in cold material, as neteyam settled on top of you, leaving kisses on your breasts going down to your belly. "All mine…" was almost a whisper, almost to himself. Reminding himself that he was the only man who could take you like this.
Your legs spread intently, leaving him a clear path. Your hands travel to the top of his head to push him to where you needed him most. "Let's finish what we started this morning" says neteyam giving several bites on your lower belly, you lift your hips a little. You were a mess in little moans, he didn't know the effect he had on you. You thought he was a fool to think, that any man could stand a chance with you.
On the other hand…
Quaritch was sitting on the bed that mo'at had prepared for him. Well, it was more like where she settled anyone who came to ask for her help. He was feeling better, the medications and some stitches that Norm had given him had helped him a lot. He felt strange, he felt like he was in a completely new place, he was like a new person. Every hour that passed felt new to him. His legs were crossed, and now he was holding his tail, analyzing it. Mo'at on the other hand had been watching the man, norm and max had explained everything to her. To her it was watching a lost toddler.
"Careful with that tail…you don't want to hurt yourself" says mo'at. Quaritch quickly lets go of his tail. Mo'at is silent for a moment, until she begins to speak. Capturing the avatar's full attention. "Do you have a name?" the woman asks. She looks at the man who now had his ears lowered and his tail had stopped wagging. "Well…they call me quartch. But I like Miles better" Mo'at smiles a little. "Well Miles, how does it feel to wake up?" Miles settles more into his spot, and gets excited about the question. He'd been there all day, testing and listening to how he was someone else. But no one had ever asked him how he felt…until now. "I feel strange…but free" Miles says, Mo'at stands up and hands him a type of container that contained a drink. "I'm glad you found your home…Y/N wasn't wrong about you" mo'at says.
"Y/N…she where is she? I haven't seen her since I got here." Miles says. Mo'at could notice Miles' behavior to talk about you. Miles' ears perked up, his tail began to wag with excitement, and his eyes widened with interest. "I imagine she's with her mate…it's normal not to see couples this time of year," says mo'at, she knew better than to talk about her granddaughter's intimacy. But she wanted to set the record straight. " Time?" asks Miles, he doesn't understand much of the Navi language. "Mating season" says mo'at without any embarrassment. Miles nods his head, and she can see the redness on the tips of his ears. He didn't have to ask about you…of course you were with your mate. Who else would you be with. "Well get some rest…it's going to be a long day tomorrow," says mo'at getting up to leave the hut. The man stands there thinking, as he settled in. He had to get used to the idea that he wouldn't see you, he just wanted to tell you how grateful he was to you.
6:00 am
The entire sully family was gathered at mo'at's entrance, waiting for norm and max to arrive. They were going to talk to mo'at about the situation, now that they knew that Quaritch was going through his facet of being someone else. And that it wasn't going to hurt, they couldn't just take him out of the village. The poor guy didn't know how to defend himself, life in Pandora is not the same as in the military camp. Besides, you weren't going to let them take him out, you had put so much effort in taking care of him. "Well…what's taking so long?" says Neytiri. As she moves from side to side, you knew she was nervous. This was not a situation she liked, but she had to respect her mother's decision.
On the other hand, neteyam is sitting on a rock. He had his hands around your waist, pressing you to his chest. You could feel how nervous he was, just knowing that you were going to see this man was putting him in a bad mood. Spider slowly approached the group, he hadn't seen neteyam since yesterday. His head was down, and he walked straight towards you. You move a little away from neteyam, and take spider's hand to give him a hug. "Hey…are you okay? i heard about what happened yesterday" you say, looking quickly at neteyam. He laughs a little and waves to spider. "Yeah, I'm fine… nete and I set the record straight" spider laughs, and reaches out his hand to touch neteyam's shoulder. You intertwine your arms with spider's, at the same time norm and max arrive.
You all enter mo'at's hut, as you enter you can see how Miles is sitting next to mo'at. He was helping the woman, he looked so calm. He looked like a different person. You let go of spider's arms and move away from neteyam. And you run to Miles, hugging him by the neck. "Quaritch!!!" you speak cheerfully. The man wraps his arm around your back, laughing. "How are you little one?" speaks Miles. Everyone in the room was looking at you with surprise. The relationship you had created with Miles was very strong. Neteyam had already stepped forward beside you. Miles looks up, watching as your partner looks at him. He moves his hands away from your back. Jake and neytiri had sat down next to mo'at. The atmosphere is heavy, you could feel the breeze. Neytiri had her eyes on Miles, she leans over and takes your arm to pull you closer to her. You obey your mother and sit next to her. Neteyam follows you, while lo'ak and spider stand near the entrance. "Well… I'm glad you're all here," mo'at says.
"I've made up my mind, about this man" mo'at relays a smile to Miles. Jake was about to speak, but the woman raises her hand. "shhh" neytiri says. Your father could be the great jakesully, a strong warrior. But if your mother said to shut up, he does it without thinking.
"I have decided to keep him with us" says mo'at. "Mother!!!!" yells neytiri, getting upset as she lifted herself a little from her seat. Neteyam followed in her mother's footsteps, as did jake. Meanwhile spider and lo'ak were left in a state of shocked. You try to calm your family, but they all ignore you. It's not like you can do much surrounded by giants. "Grandmother…but this man is dangerous" says neteyam. "Neteyam!!!" you take his hand, making him sit up. Miles' eyes meet yours for a moment, you could see those words hurt him. The avatar in front of them, was someone else. But he didn't blame anyone.
"HE WILL STAY HERE! We will help him to adapt…to live with us. I have spoken!" says mo'at. Your grandmother was very upset, she was looking straight at Jake and Neytiri. Norm and max had taken it upon themselves to explain everything to mo'at. She knew the right thing to do was to help him, and let him be part of the clan. Of course, he had to earn the trust of the clan. Everyone in the hut is silent for a long time. Neytiri stands up and looks at MILES. "If you do…the slightest harm to my family. I will kill you again with my own hands" you stand up and take her hand. "Mom calm down…don't be like this" you try to reassure her. Jake could be calmer than your mother, she couldn't control her motherly instincts…in that hut were her children. And they were saying that the man who had done so much damage to their family was going to be part of the clan.
After some discussion, various things. How Miles should behave, and what he should do to gain the trust of the clan. The whole family gets up and leaves the mo'at hut. Only Spider, neteyam and you stayed behind. "Y/N… I am proud of you. Your skills have grown so much" says mo'at caressing your face. You get up from the ground, and sit next to Miles. "ahhhh I am happy for you, how do you feel?" you speak. You felt strange talking to him. Days ago he was the soldier you once knew, and now he was a whole new man. You were glad to know that you had had a big impact on his memories, because he still remembered you.
"I'm…I'm happy. But confused" Miles speaks, his ears move back. You can hear spider's sarcastic laugh. You look up and make a face at spider. Spider walks over and sits down next to neteyam, who hasn't taken his eyes off Miles at any point. The two men were sure of something, they had to keep an eye on you at all times. They knew that from now on you were not going to leave his side. "Spider…I think you could help Y/N. Miles needs a lot of help" says mo'at, who was sitting next to you. "And so do you neteyam" mo'at chuckles a little.
Before the two boys could complain, mo'at starts talking. "Yes…you two are going to help Y/N. And I don't want you to be complaining" mo'at says. You chuckle a little, as you adjust a piece of Miles' outfit. He looks at you and gives you a shy smile. "Don't worry… you'll get used to it. And everyone will accept you" you say, smiling.
"Let's see" says neteyam in a low voice, just so spider can hear him. "Yes, I doubt it will come so easily to him," says spider. They both have their arms crossed, you watch them. Could they stop judging him, and understand that miles is not the person who once created the RDA.
Noah't aunts : @st4rrry @valeriinee @inutheangel @gielrmn @sloppierjewel @purple7theparty @itscheybaby @ssc7514 @namorslit @ducks118 @tpwkstiles @elli-aesthetics @nao-cchi @uselessbutinteresting @msjae @austynparksandpizza @gamorxa @andyyy4444 @itssomeonereading @meivap @barbii04 @mm-nope @dorck26 @nessrin @purple7theparty @ssc7514 @sloppierjewel @yeosxxx @legendleopard100 @pandoragalora @jayzes-blog @ducks118 @kyriekurokami @heesoftiefreak @teamanime @d4rno @dumb-fawkin-bitch-bitch @burdeningbitch @allsouls-emma @aceofheartzzz @famousbagelhandspurse @fanficblogs @lilyofthetigers @mjnij @laylasbunbunny
@cherrywinesab @sloppierjewel @bubbleguppy0315 @ellielovesrobinarellano @mrs-sullys-blog @lovekeeho @vectoriscommitingcrimes @kimtaehussy @bimbotinkerbell @aceofheartzzz @d4rno @3okutos-3ig-toe @bxnnywriting @anarcoirisgatuno @allsouls-emma @luna-ann @vivendominhahistorias @neteyamsgirll @yeosxxx @naynay2808
@neytirisgf @meivap @gamorxa @nuttyrebelflower @lovelyygirl8 @allenparkermin03 @lucero-ksb-blog @neteyamforlife @btslovergirl12 @nuttyrebelflower @artologia-blog1 @sloppierjewel @queen-dk @kurtisamazing @lovekeeho @rebeccao03 @mikeyswifie @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @lu-the-ghost-reader @liluvtojineteyam @vaishureader @rebeccao03 @myh3artttt @pandoramyst @lu-the-ghost-reader
If there is any problem with the tags, let me know and I will try to fix it as quickly as possible. tag list is open, just let me know *3*//
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fic writer meme!
i was tagged by @microcomets and @cairoscene :) thank you friendz
1. how many works do you have on ao3?
22, which is both more and less than i expected.
2. what's your total ao3 wordcount?
529,320
3. what fandoms do you write for?
i've branched out in recent years; like my fellow taggers, i write for fewer fandoms that i'm in. food takes ages to cook and even longer to actually commit to. i started with mdzs/cql and tgcf before moving to shl/tyk, though now i mostly write trigun and video game fic.
4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?
爱不释手; never let me go
总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near)
花无百日红; the flower that withers
在此恭迎夷陵老祖; to yiling laozu, the great and venerable
蓝色生死恋; a blue love (to live and to die for)
me 🤝 cair wangxian monopoly
5. do you respond to comments?
not usually - if the comment jumps out in some way or asks a question about podficcing i might, but i generally don't. i read every single one and hold them close to my heart, though.
6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
LOL it's an open ending but the implications are pretty clear - 美丽的日子; beautiful days
7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
most of them end happy, except when they don't :)
8. do you get hate on fics?
not really. i did for a stint back in 2021 when that anon was going around but it was honestly very funny for me.
9. do you write smut?
sometimes.
10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you have written?
just the one time, not usually. it was a threadfic - a mdzs/tgcf crossover where wwx was raised by hualian instead of the jiangs.
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
yeah. the good ole ctrl+f+replace of names. i remember they even stole my author's note. i'd said something to the effect of "i have to go study..." (i was in high school) and they added "which i didn't even end up doing..."
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
yes and i think fic translation is so cool!
13. have you ever co-written a fic before?
nope.
14. what's your all time favorite ship?
EVER?
pirates of the caribbean will/elizabeth.
but it's honestly a rotating rotisserie throughout life of my fav ships depending on what i'm hungry for at a given moment. it's 2024 and i'm back in ff7 hell, for instance.
15. what is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
歃血; blood oath, and it pains me deeply to admit. not because i have any measure of anxiety about returning to it, or feel any pressure, but because it genuinely had one of my favorite premises and setups, was super gory and horrific, and i'd packed in every crazy trope i love into the outline. i was really excited about. then the fandom imploded and i can't look at it anymore.
she's my white whale. i'd finish it for @megafaunatic alone.
16. what are your writing strengths?
atmosphere. payoff. saying things are like other things. i understand this is annoying for some people though, which is fair.
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
i put off every single sex scene in a fic until i had written everything else, such that i had to sit and write 10,000 words, spread across three scenes, of sex. worst week of my life.
internal logic, because i think it's so obvious in my head that i forget to explain it in words on the page.
i think i always can improve on character voice. that's an eternal work in progress.
18. thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?
it's cool. probably good to consult a native speaker if writer of the fic doesn't speak it, though?
19. first fandom you wrote for?
christ. harry potter, by hand, in pencil, in an a5 notebook.
20. favorite fic you have written?
recency bias compels me to say by the time the apocalypse began, because i worked my ass and head off for it, and i ended up really happy with how it turned out. sci-fi's not really my wheelhouse.
i have a huge soft spot for my clj arranged marriage fic, 双命; twin fates, because i had such a blast writing it. and 总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) will always be special to me, because it was like taking a huge, glittering, orgasmic shit.
i believe quite a few people have already been cross-tagged but i will tag you guys again for fun: @yuebings @cafecliche @dcyiyou @vinelark @floofyfluff @ziusik
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hello - hope you're doing great! I love your analysis, and I wanted to ask about something I've been thinking fanfic wise but also applicable to real life (I think).
So Astarion gets paired a lot with Tavs who also have tragic past experiences (hard to be at his level of tragedy, but some get close). Which is all well and good, cause I see how writing these characters and reading about them is cathartic to many, but I also see plot-wise, it makes it "easier" for him to connect with Tav in a way, kindred souls and all that.
My Tav's background is one of someone who either had a fairly good and regular life, and, if trauma occured, it's been healthily overcome. So at the beginning of the BG3 story she's actually at the end of her own initial "character" arc.
Now my issue is, can Astarion connect with someone who has no idea at all of what he went through? My idea is that's he'd infantilize her, or openly antagonise her (in his charming way) because she's got no right to understand (especially with how he thinks it's fine to be racist and hurt the weak in the first act).
And she'd be understanding and wanting to help and all, but how can people with no/little traumatic experiences connect with those who went through hell, even with the best intentions? It's a dynamic I'd like to explore, because I've seen it played in real life a few times.
Sorry for the poem!
Hello, flower! Thank you so much, I'm glad that you enjoyed the analysis ❤️
As for your question: Eh, I do see why that dynamic is a rather difficult one. People who've survived through a lot of traumata tend to be somewhat hesitant and guarded in front of those who had normal lives at the best of times, and we all know that Astarion rarely has a "best of times", especially early in the game.
Infantilising them is something I definitely see with him. He's the type to do that with anyone anyway, but especially so with those he considers "sheltered". And sheltered is likely something he inevitably will consider Tav, as that is often the case with those who experienced trauma.
Trauma tends to age and harden you, in a way, so oftentimes people who simply grew up normally, with normal ups and downs, are viewed as "sheltered" or "spoiled" by those who didn't, even if that wasn't necessarily the case. That label isn't used or assigned maliciously, and it's simply based on the fact that other people's "normal" seems like the very best to someone who had it worse.
I can also see a huge amount of antagonism, yes, but how it shows will depend on when your story is set.
Is it while he's still dependent on Tav? Then I think he'd try to refrain from being more antagonistic towards them than necessary, since he needs to stay on their good side. So, he'd likely stick with his base-line arseholeishness, if a bit more intense at times. You know, in a sense that you side eye him and wonder if he just actually insulted you or if he's still joking around.
But if he's not dependent on them? Oh boy. Yeah, very likely that he'd be extremely mean and Tav would definitely 100% know that he means everything he says, even when it's uttered with a smile. Think how he talks to the Gur hunter in act 1 because let's be honest…that was far from subtle.
Astarion as a whole doesn't take kindly to anyone prodding his weak spots, albeit he mellows a bit towards Tav over the course of the story, and if would be even worse with "sheltered" Tav. He would likely flip his shit really hard and become extremely cruel with them, staying on their good side be damned because how dare they prod where they have no business being?
It's something I've seen at work before, and let me tell you: It's never a pretty sight.
Many people who experienced trauma usually don't want to hurt others - quite the contrary, a lot of them would rather sacrifice themselves before watching anyone else get hurt like they were - but that doesn't mean they're not good at it.
Precisely because they're often so hypervigilant, they have a talent in picking out your weak spots and if you test them enough, oh boy. They'll hit them with such aim and grace, you'll find yourself reeling. And that's the super sweet and kind clients, not the Astarions.
Here it's important to mention that the things people say in those situations are rarely what they really believe. It's mostly is just a well aimed assassination of your soft spots to get you to back off and leave them be.
So "sheltered" Tav will have to be extremely careful regarding any sore spots if they don't want to be hit by the full force of protective-malice.
Does that mean Astarion and your Tav won't be able to bond?
Aabsolutely not, but it will be a tad bit difficult because he'll likely take a lot longer to open up and their bond will have to be built entirely from scratch. The shared understanding of their trauma can’t function as a temporary foundation – temporary because a bond entirely based on [shared] trauma will eventually become instable, if not fortified by other things – so they’ll have to put in a lot of work to even get to having a solid foundation to build on.
I'll give you a bit of a general rundown on how I was taught to tackle clients like that, maybe any of that will be helpful for you!
So, firstly: "Sheltered" Tav will need to be careful and understanding and they'll have to be able to take a blow and live with it if they accidentally step to close too early.
Important to note: They'll have to be able to take a blow but they can't be too lenient either.
Astarion seems like a person who's attached to 'respect'. Not in the 'respect your elders' way, but in the sense that he treats those he respects a lot better than those he doesn't.
It's the nobility’s definition of respect - some "deserve" it and some don't and who is who is entirely based on personal understanding - so it's very in line with his background.
So, while your Tav will need to be able to take a hit, they'll need to know when to call him out on his bullshit. If you let Astarion walk all over you, he will eventually lose all respect and then this is a lost cause. Don't let him push you around.
If he's being too cruel, don't be cruel back, but definitely call him out on it and let him know that he can always ask you to stop prodding but you will not stand around and let him insult you.
Be understanding, but don't be a doormat.
Then, in order to get someone to open up, you'll have to have a lot of patience. Don't demand anything, don't force anything. Every question you ask has to be careful and phrased in a way that won't corner them, which can be really difficult in casual conversation. So, mishaps can and will likely happen, which is great material for a story anyway, so that's great! (Not so great at work though, haha.)
In case of "sheltered" Tav, it's probably best if they wait for him to come to them. Listen when he rants, listen to the tiny things he mentions and if you ask questions, make sure they directly relate to what he's told you just then.
So, if he talks about Cazador essentially making him choose between eating putrid rats or getting beaten, a question like: "Did he do that a lot?" or "Was it always those two options?" could potentially be alright because the red string is easily visible for both parties. Astarion can tell why you would ask something like that and he can follow your line of thought easily.
But a question like: "What else did he do to you?" or "Did he do other things as well?" would probably have his defences going up. It's too broad, too unspecific, and how is that any of your business anyway? What is this, an interrogation? An interview so that you can ghost write his sad memoirs? Back off.
While a question like: "How exactly did those dinners go?" or "Beaten? How?" is too specific. You're practically asking him to relive a painful moment in great detail for your own "enjoyment". Why else would you want to know? Why else would you ask how exactly he'd been hurt and humiliated, if not for that? Maybe you were planning to do the same to him. He won't let you. The past is the past. Let. It. Rest.
So, as you can tell, it's basically playing question-hot-foot!
But even if your Tav should cross the lines in that regard every once in a while - it happens, every question is a gamble - it'll eventually be fine. The closer they get, the easier it will be to ask questions, because he'll realise that he can actually trust them.
The one word I would really really avoid - and I cannot stress this enough - is 'understand'. God never use it. Tav, omit it from your vocabulary, you'll never "understand" anything ever again!
"I understand what you went though was horrible, but/and/however…" - No, you really do not. You can't understand, can't even imagine what he's faced over the years so never pretend that you do.
"I won't pretend to understand what you went through, but I want to/you can trust me/I can still listen." - Always said with kindness, but that one really is nothing but an empty platitude, at best. Hearing someone say that they don't understand you so directly is never really encouraging either.
"I just want to understand you." - Great, but you don't need to know the barest parts of a person's soul to be able to understand them. If you can't do it without that, maybe you shouldn't.
And, all in all, this phrasing of the last one feels really iffy anyway, personally speaking, because it has a very manipulative edge to it. 'Hey I'm just overstepping your boundaries because I want to know you and understand you better. It's all for you..." and blegh. I hate that one, but that might be totally personal so please feel entirely free to ignore this paragraph.
Anyway, as you can see…never "understand", even if it’s just meant to encourage him. Just don't. I've seen clients who asked to be transferred to a different social worker or ended up leaving completely because someone used one of those lines, so I'd really strongly advise against them.
Instead, opt for things like "I'll listen to whatever you want to say." or "Can you explain it to me?" because that way you're not lying to his face and you're leaving everything up to him.
He gets to decide where this conversation goes and, more importantly, how far it goes. Not an interview, not an interrogation, but a conversation that he controls.
And well then, flower, that’s it!
Of course, there’s a lot more to it, but we’d still be here by the time Baldur’s Gate 8 is released if I went over every tiny thing, but I hope this was enough of an overview to help you build your story 😊
If you end up sharing it, don’t be shy to let me know, I’d be excited to check it out because, as you said, it’s a really interesting dynamic that isn’t explored as much as it should be.
It’s a difficult dynamic, but it is so rewarding to write, read and experience.
I wish you all the best ♥
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What I really love about Sherlock Holmes Chapter One is that this game does not hold your hand through nearly, if not, everything that you encounter. Cases, evidence, deciding which conclusion to go with, since each chapter allows you to make your own decision, hinging on consequences that you may have to bear with for the entirety of the game.
So not only do you truly have to feel like a fool sometimes when you don't have a direction (which would probably be the case for me if I were a detective, because I'm just that terrible) but you're also dealing with Mr. Drama King in the back of your head.
Yes I'm talking about Jon. I've (to the best of my ability) grabbed snippets from his journal of his personal thoughts about you when you so much as do something this little potato doesn't approve of.
Though let's be real, a few of the reactions he gives are mostly just him complaining about his impatience with you. I'm going to leave all this under the cut so that it's not some HUGE text that blocks everything on your dash:
First of all, I'm not that smart when it comes to finding certain articles, at least not in every case (I will say I think the main story paper digging feels a lot more generous than the DLC ones, my word I felt stupid sometimes). You take two seconds to flip to another police document or news article and Jon pretty much moans behind you like "Hurry up I feel like I'm aging" and it's like "I don't see you helping honey, PLEASE."
Yes I'm struggling in archives because I accidentally looked up the wrong thing. Now he's just being a little brat. He acts as though you dragged him to the grocery store like he was your youngest kid and makes him walk on the side of the cart always. And no he can't get a toy from the toy section and he's going to pout about it. The best thing is leaving the screen to retrace your steps or figure out what you missed and all you see is this 👎and it's like would you calm down, I'm doing my best!
He's also super sarcastic. Since Jon is a portion of Sherlock's own personality that seeps through, mostly the playful and self-loving sort of aspects, his humor is also as dry as his, which is probably why they're able to run each other into annoying circles without actually pissing each other off. You never win and you never lose when you argue with yourself do you?
I dunno which I prefer more: Jon's incredibly witty and improvised liners out in the free world where you can roam and he occasionally makes his presence, or his down-right back handed comments in his personal notes.
Though don't get me wrong, I understand when things don't mesh well with someone that you know better than anyone else could ever know someone and things don't add up or something happens.
My weakest points when it comes to figuring out the cases was definitely the recreation process. I feel like this is where the two kind of combine heads. This is where they're seemingly more in tune with one another. I really enjoyed having Jon be the one to piece together what happened, as though they were walking through it together without saying a word. Finishing each other's sentences with each point that was connected.
Making mistakes you couldn't pin-point precisely, and then when you finally get it you either feel accomplished or a little defeated because it's like "Okay well you knew that you just had a few steps to get there" and Jon's in the corner being like "We're supposed to be a team y'know" and it's like I know, I just suck at being a detective.
Jon's reactions to what you do in the cases almost each and every step of the way is what sold his personality for me. He's rounded enough to have himself as a separate entity to Sherlock, with his own opinions and thoughts and sense of morality. He's a fantasy nerd for goodness sake, drinks and smokes a lot more than Sherlock probably ever implies, and is never afraid to speak on the sensual things (I'm talking about Sherlock's unmentionables comment as well as the painting in the caravanserai)
Which means he's very capable of calling Sherlock out when he does something wrong. A healthy relationship with anyone you assign yourself to isn't immune to having arguments or disagreements. Much less, you're allowed to tell someone you utterly made a mistake.
Both of them have a sense of mortality and a sense of justice. When someone is wrongfully accused or being blackmailed, or even shot down, that's a red flag in their books. The only reason I'm calling him dramatic in this sense with these images is because I had been nearly a full clear on two separate bandit lair occasions, and scuffed the very last one at the last possible second and left the dude a corpse on the floor. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
Though however, the consequences of your actions that give you Jon's comments do in fact alter the image of his visage when you open his notes. If you've done this type of accident enough, it makes sense. Sherlock does not act this way, this is not Sherlock, what the hell is going on? Jon would have no ability to step in and take away the automatic to defend people. It's immoral, and the two of them don't need to stoop to a lower ground to gain justice for something else.
You're a detective, you do not get a say in who stays above ground and who goes, that's not your prerogative. And that's why I love reading these notes. A lot of them are not mentioned here because 1) they're mostly positive because more often than not I had some sense of understanding of what I needed to do, and 2) they're repeated in certain situations. Though I'm very tempted to have a playthrough of where I get more negativity in Jon's responses to see if there are any other quotes that I've not seen before.
There were already at least 30 pages worth of comments - but I really love his little doodles. This game lets you mess up, it's not going to reach forward and say "this is what you need to do" there's no hint whatsoever. You're bound to make these mistakes, and it's the comments given that makes you feel like you're truly a part of the action and story you're walking through.
You're not alone when you travel here, and what you do is painting a certain image of yourself to someone that cares about you. This is your story, and you're free to make these mistakes, you're free to take the information you learn, dissect it and learn what happened - but in the end, it's you that makes the ending decision. There is no one correct answer, but there are many consequences.
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hii i have a maybe somewhat difficult question:
how do you go about writing all of the police/detective stuff? I have no knowledge at all about that except having played the game a few times and watching bbc sherlock back when that was a thing.
I have so many cool kimharry things in my mind that i need to get on paper but i don't know how to involve all the cop stuff in a natural way because i don't know anything about it and don't want it to be too wildly incorrect.
so yeah.. how do you even learn the things for this?
thank you so much i love your work
Quite a difficult question I won't lie...... But I've answered at length so it's going under a readmore
This isn't my favourite thing to discuss online as it can trigger my psychosis, but I have an actual dismaying amount of experience with cops. I don't want to talk about it but... Bit like Cuno I suppose. Good ending for that kid is doing public services training ages 14 - 16, and going "oh this is shit actually" once he's got an out from his abusive parent, then working at a restaurant
I quite literally cannot go into detail - so don't ask because I WILL delete this post - but an ex military police officer told us a "funny story" about a "prank" he played on some kids in an occupied location during the late 80s that I recognised as psychological torture, but made my peers laugh. So I decided to become a faggot and poet instead.
~NOW FOR THE FUN ADVICE THAT IS ACTUALLY OF USE TO YOU!
Research:
Honestly, the amount of time I spend looking up stuff for writing is probably more than the time I spend writing. The internet's being fucked by SEO but it's a start. Like... There's plenty of info out there written on the police and their role in systematic oppression, I'm pretty sure there's free PDFs floating around on Tumblr actually...
If it's more "day in the life" I honestly don't know. Maybe reddit or if there's one of those "Ex-[blank} reviews [blank] in movies" videos on Youtube for cops, but obviously take everything said with a pinch of salt.
FAYDE:
Fayde is the best tool at your disposal. We bully Kim a lot for his dedication to the RCM but that makes finding out info pretty easy. EDC too! I've never played with high EDC so just typing in key words (especially names of other officers to try and get character info) and scrolling through is helpful.
Good keywords are "precinct", "RCM", "Militicia" as they'll bring up opinions/ info from other characters.
The RCM is not a traditional police force:
I would worry less about accuracy and more about being interesting. It doesn't need to be a perfect representation of police work since the canon makes a point of there being a distinction in the powers and roles of the RCM. Go listen to the collapsing tenement cut content. You don't need to write about them filling in forms if it's not relevant. It'll show in your writing if you're unsure/ bored.
Make them worse:
If you're going to write one of the officers doing something shitty (yes, that includes Kim and Harry) but worry that you've gone too far then I promise you haven't. Dickheads are drawn to positions of power and the impunity it gives them. There's a reason I wrote one of the 57's officers as a groomer.
Make them less competent:
Don't trust the police, but also don't expect anything of them.
As recently as Monday I had to call for the fire brigade because a lit (thankfully poorly made) petrol bomb had been left under a neighbour's car (I live an irritatingly interesting life for somebody who lives in the middle of fucking nowhere) nobody was harmed. Cop came to find me afterwards to get an interview from me since I'd spotted it and he told me, I kid you not, "Yeah, we're not gonna do anything unless anything else happens." Like, I expected as much but I wasn't expecting him to up and fucking say that. You're welcome for 85% of my council tax, you fucking moron.
Harry's a special case because he's, like, psychic and got "maybe if I solve *THIS* one my wife will let me sleep in the big bed" disorder, and nobody wants to read a case fic that they... don't solve (or do they..? *winks*) But if you care about realism you need dick-in-hand dipshits. Another favourite quote of mine from an officer two years back; "Is 'right wing' the good one or the bad one?" So the advice here is you're writing a cop well if you're reading it and thinking: holy shit please just go work at a TESCOs instead.
Don't worry so much:
You should write, first and foremost, for yourself. I like detective fiction, I have wasted an unfortunate amount of my life dealing with police due to my job and shit childhood. (I did originally write far more about this, but frankly it's better for myself if I don't bother. That's why it's taken me five days to answer this)
I've read/ watched a lot of detective fiction and I'm always more drawn to stuff that is less based in police work. Private investigators, investigative journalists, kid detectives like Nancy Drew, ect.
In particular my favourite book, perhaps of all time, is called Hideaway by Dean Koontz and is two fathers (one: the killer's father - a talented doctor who brought his shithead son back to life - and another, the doctor's most recent patient to be brought back from the brink who has developed a psychic link with the killer as a result) trying to stop him, but never actually meeting! It's one hell of a read if you need inspo.
Val McDermott is a good author for crime writing with less police input, too. She has a book called Killing The Shadows which is excellent. The Killer's motive is taking out crime writers who've romanticised psychological profilers after he was wrongly convicted. Fair enough! Until he starts... Killing about it? Sort of defeats the message... Anyway, what's fun about this book is that before each crime writer is killed (in the same way they wrote THEIR killers killing!! Love that) you get to read the first chapter of each writer's most famous work. So you are essentially getting six crime books in one (first chapter of at least) ...Also the main character's husband is a crime writer called Kit, which I've only remembered just double checking the book name now. Lol???
...This is just turning into me recommending books.
TLDR: write what you know, write what is fun, ACAB, don't even worry about it
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Sometimes things are just hard.
And then my Rejection Sensitive Disphoria is rearing its ugly head on top of it all, and I've already been fighting anxious/insecure writer brain with varying degrees of success since Monday, but now everything is just right at the surface. I had been loosely planning/hoping to get the first chapter of part two of BHTR posted before I disappear into three woods for a few days later this month, but I'm realizing that's very unlikely to happen, even if I was feeling 100%.
I've just been having a bit of a tough time, a big part of that being in two weeks it will have been a year since my dad died from brain cancer last summer. I'm normally pretty good at keeping things on an even keel and convincing myself that I'm fine, but last night it was like a switch flipped and everything just rushed in all at once. I went for a walk and put on "The Silmarillion" and realized I wasn't even really listening (hilarious that a guage for mental health is not being able to pay attention to Andy's voice, but there it is, lol).
Then I realized it's been two months since I actually posted chapter five which threw me for a loop, because how on Earth has it been two months?? (And yes, I know I wrote a one-shot since then, but my brain still goes, "Yeah, so?") And last night was the first time in ages where I didn't even really want to write, and even on days when I don't/can't, I always still want to.
I'm just tired and my stomach hurts and I have a perpetual lump in my throat and everything just feels shitty.
So I think I'm going to pull back a little bit and try to focus in irl things. If nothing else, canoe trips take a lot of energy to prepare for, so I really do need to buckle down on that, and maybe it will help to focus on something concrete.
I promise I'm not going anywhere, I really do enjoy it here! And I'll probably still pop in occasionally, but unfortunately I'm just going to have to ride this one out and go from there.
❤️
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Thank you so much for taking the time for your long reply on Schneider. You are absolutely right, and it really helps. Till is my favorite, can’t help it, but there are some things he has done that I didn’t like at all, either, and with some distance it either wasn’t as bad m or I just got used to it and ignored it. I guess I do the same with my friends, the older I get. I don’t take the stuff I don’t like so seriously anymore. I should so the same with the people I admire from afar but don’t really know.
So thank you so much for your input! And yes, I would definitely be interested in your take regarding the Schneider statement! ♥️
Hi, i think you're right, it helps that with age you know that not everything is just good or bad with nothing in between, nowadays on social media, if a person does or says one thing that others don't like, that seems to get targetted and everything else forgotten *or* completely ignored because it doesn't fit the favored narrative 🌺
While i'm happy to share my thoughts on Schneider's post, let me first share some of my pet peeves about others (or in general), because like i said in the previous post, all of them have done or said things that weren't my thing at the time or that temporarily or permanently changed the way i viewed them, just to avoid that i get a new anon response calling me a hater again 🌺
For Richard (yes, let's start there 😊) i really don't like how he is in his personal relationships, how all his girlfriends are almost carbon copies of eachother and how easily he switches from one to the other (polyamorous? Maybe, but 'sexual butterfly' i think is more fitting). As that is his personal life i usually don't comment on it, but i cringe when fans call him 'their perfect husband' 😊 Also (yes, there's more) that he almost broke up the band with his Mutter-era-mania and his feeling of being the one who was right and should have his way. What redeemed him for me is that in hindsight he completely owned up to everything that happened and took full responsibility (even recently in interviews). What i love about Richard, i've said it before, is not that i think he's perfect, but that he has his flaws and deals with them, always trying to improve himself (and imo he has improved a lot, as shown on stage the past years).
Another example is an actor i used to follow, watched all his movies, but who, as it turns out, is a big gun-enthusiast. And i happen to not like guns (rifles, shooters, whatever). I understand that in some parts of the world they are necessary to protect yourself from bears or lions or whatever, and i do enjoy watching weaponry as a sport in the olympics, how skilled the shooters are, but as a hobby? or thinking it's normal that kids can hold a gun? Nope, not my thing. That is a really big turn off for me, and i still have loads of dvd's with films of the actor, but never watch them anymore.
Okay, to Schneider's post (and again, please unfollow and/or block if you don't like my view)
- Was i surprised he posted it when he did? Yes.
- If i were Rammstein management, would i have advised him to post it? Probably not, but it seemed to hit Schneider pretty hard, we know now that Richard had to write in a statement on events that happened in 2019, i wouldn't be surprised if the others had to as well, so i can imagine that was a gutpunch, so maybe i would have gone with "sleep about it another night, read it again in the morning, and if you're sure..."
- Can i see how people feel it throws Till under the bus? Yes, i do (interestingly, Schneider was in the Mutter era also the most vocal in putting all the blame on Richard, where Paul f.i. also acknowledged that he himself was part of the problem. Eventually Richard acknowledged he was to blame (see above))
but....
his statement confirmed a lot for me that i sensed was happening for the last few years, since let's say 2019. Till creating his own bubble, having his own entourage (who imho indulge Till's tendency to selfdestruct), travelling with them, things happening that didn't seem to be 'the Rammstein way' but more extreme, the separate afterparties, the invites to Row0, there were so many pictures and side stories the last few tours (2019/2022) that to me it was there in plain sight, but in the fandom that was always shot down as 'not true', 'you don't know what you're talking about', 'you are a hater' or examples given of years earlier as 'proof' that Till would never do things like that. Well, not years earlier okay, but lately? Things have changed, Schneider's post confirmed it.
Also, the post is still up. And it is liked by many people close to the band, Schneider's wife (okay, maybe that's a given), Flake's wife, who also reposted it on her own page thanking Schneider for the post, but also Jens Koch, Olaf Heine, Jörn Heitmann, Tobias Ortman, David Geslbauer (and Sven Heibig on Flake's wife's post): People who have worked with the band in recent years, some currently on tour. Liking on social media ofcourse doesn't say a lot, some people like something without even reading it, but with the content so impactful, and the post still up, they could easily remove their like, but they didn't. For me it confirmed that this wasn't just a spur of the moment thing from Schneider, this was well thought out and heartfelt.
Do i personally feel Schneider throws Till under a bus? No, what for me makes the difference is that he writes at the end of the statement "All of us, all six. We stick together." Schneider is willing to work through it and improve things. And in those last lines, i read that the rest of the band are too, including, i sincerely hope, Till himself. From what we see on tour since the post, i have a feeling that the working through has started...in the six men marriage 🌺
just my 2 cts 🌺
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20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @hxhhasmysoul and @subdee!! <3 <3 <3 who are both v lovely go like. look at their blogs. anyway
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
.161
2. What’s your total ao3 word count?
520,484 - 27% of that is one fic looool
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Right now just HxH and SW:Fallen Order series. Sherlock and Star Trek AOS were big ones too
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Closing the Space (Between Us) - again its 27% of my wordcount! It deserves it! the Hunter x Hunter Killugon Reunion fic of my dreams. I am SO PROUD of this one I have handed it to irl friends! On purpose! My partner got me a physical copy for Xmas 2021!
2. Crying Over Yuuri - a Kyou Kara Maou! fic, which is a fandom I am amazed is still being read. It's a Wolfram POV fic where he, you got it, cries over Yuuri. Pretty fluffy ending. I credit the numbers to the fact that not a lot of fic gets written for KKM anymore so it doesn't disappear under all the new stuff
3. Not Unusual - A ST:AO3 Academy Era McKirk. Bones gets a bunch of clues to something going on with Jim... he gets it a little wrong, Jim freaks out because this man has Issues, but it resolves in the end. I wrote this one as a pinch-hit for an exchange back when I was still RPing Jim Kirk @thewinningscenario
4. 5+1: Are They Or Aren't They? - Somehow my Mystrade (Sherlock BBC) still gets hits with fair regularity and I'll never understand why. It's definitely not my best work but it's cute! 5 times people weren't sure if Mycroft and Lestrade are dating, and the time they know (because they receive a wedding invitation!!)
5. One Flew East, One Flew West - a Killugon Modern AU in which Killua and Gon meet at a Psychiatric Recovery Center, with Kurapika as another patient and Leorio as a therapist. written for HxHBB2020. I'm very fond of this one. It makes me cry <3
I'm so happy there's so much fandom diversity in these! (The next 11 are all either HxH or Sherlock, l o l )
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I wish I could say I did! I mean to! Sometimes I am not in a good place so I mean to do it later and then I forget..... whoof. I am so thankful for each and every review, and I want to repay that!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I wrote a LOT of fics in my teens where people died (not all of them are on A03, it didn't exist at the time. I'm not giving you my ff.net ;) ) Surely, one of them! More recently, I wrote a Dragon Age: Inquisition Lavellan/Dorian in response to Dorian preemptively breaking up with me (rude!) that is Pretty Hecking Angsty. It's tagged "hurt no comfort"
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Closing the Space (Between Us) did so much work to get where it was, and they ended up with Everything! My boys <3 (And Alluka)
8. Do you get hate on fic?
Very rarely! I'm pretty lucky in life that I don't get hate generally. Maybe it's because I'm not Out There enough but- who cares! People are nice and sweet and lovely mostly, and I love writing fanfic for/with them :3
9. Do you write smut?
Sometimes it will appear in other fics. I don't really do PWPs, and smut itself is pretty rare because I don't include it unless it's... necessary? Kinda? Like if the story demands it. I personally only read smut in certain moods, so when smut's included I make it easy to skip, but it certainly exists
10. Do you write crossovers?
It depends! In my Sherlock days I had a Sherlock/Stargate Atlantis crossover series and a Sherlock in the HP universe series, but I haven't done any recently.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of! I heard people copy fics over to Wattpad sometimes but I've never looked. I'm not usually in MegaFandoms anyway, so I don't think I'm in any real danger.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
YES!! A few different Sherlock ones! (I guess I was pretty well known in the Mystrade sphere?? IDK that was back on livejournal. Anyone else miss KinkMemes?) I think one got translated to Russian and one to Chinese. Both reached out to me and asked for permission first, which I of course granted! It's very flattering <3
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Way way way back in my teen years I cowrote a few times- one in YuGiOh and one in Fruits Basket with a high school friend. Recently I am technically cowriting a fic with @spyscrapper atm- I say technically because its really an rp l o l (Star Wars: Jedi Survivor Canon Divergent Spyscrapper, it's pretty hecking cool! And painful! :D )
I once cowrote a fic where the other author just like. eliminated my plotline. so. It's not always good, but it's still fun to try!
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
I refuse to pick One. Killugon (HxH), McShep (Stargate Atlantis), Seishirou/Subaru (Tokyo Babylon & X/1999) and any combination of McSpirk (Star Trek) have probably had the most long-lasting impact on me. And
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?
I often feel like I should finish Pulling The Trigger because it's an interesting casefic and I like the thought of a mystery, but... it's 12 years old at this point, so...
16. What are your writing strengths?
Nature-themed metaphors and descriptions! And I feel like I have pretty strong character points of view! Oh, and angst. I'm good at angst. >:)
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Planning 🙃 oops what's that. And I use adverbs too much! (but it's fun so I'll keep doing it)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
It depends why! If a fic is from the POV of Character A and Character B is talking in a language they don't understand, for example, it's fine to use it (though please provide a translation for your reader!)
The language switch has to be for a specific reason, and if the character understands it the reader should too. (In One Flew, Gon and Killua sometimes swap to Japanese to disguise their conversations from everyone else- I show that by changing their conversation to italics in most cases.)
I definitely wrote a fic as a teen that had all Japanese because I was a weeb and... lol don't do that.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Yugioh, 2001!! It was probably two paragraphs long hahaha
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Closing the Space (Between Us) for sure! God it's so good. I am begging people to read it. If you're going to read One Thing I have written in my entire life-so-far, please let it be that!!
"Tag 20 people:" that seems like a lot hahaha uuhh @spyscrapper @avtorsola @mmuffncakes @nightingalesighs @etoiline @iwishtocountthestars @unicorncoalition @shalnarkonice @missinkylace @thefledglingdm 10 is a reasonable number.
but tbh if you wanna do it, do it, I wanna read ur response!
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So Mimi... I've been thinking... You know those two sentence horror story things on Reddit? What about... If someone did two sentence obey me horror stories 👀👀👀
This was hard for me to do because I can imagine these horror senerios or tropes, but trying to convey the full message in two sentences is a challenge! (Though I guess that is the point. Below I listed what I was thinking for each one and how it played into horror in my mind... Though some of them are fairly niche type of horror... or may have missed the mark completely. In the end, I attempted and can only learn from it! Let me know how I did.)
Lucifer
Perfection would be obtained. He just wished you would cry a bit quieter while he taught you the way.
Mammon
The last time he held your corpse, it was a nightmare. Funny how things change.
Leviathan
You'll always be his favorite, Mc! Even amoung the sea of figurines he will set you right at the front of his collection!
Satan
He had asked you nicely to go away. It isn't his fault he had to clean you off his books.
Asmodeus
"Humans age, but you'll forever be in your prime now, Mc." It's just such a shame you had to be so cold.
Beelzelbub
Your lips tasted wonderful. He should have stopped once you started screaming...
Belphegor
It didn't matter to him where your mind went. You'd be safely tucked away under his sheets for eternity with him.
Diavolo
The ring glints perfectly on your finger after he places it there. He just wishes it wasn't following you to your final resting place.
Barbatos
Another choice, another time. Perhaps this would be the correct answer to stop the loop.
Simeon
Demotion was hard, but sinning was fun. He finally had you now and he wouldn't take no for an answer, no matter how hard you cried.
Solomon
The potion may have disfigured you, but he would still love you. How else was he to keep you?
Thought/idea/trope
Lucifer, the sadist/perfectionist. He has too much pride to have anything less. It's not his fault you can't figure it out after a whipping or two. But that's okay, he has all day and you've still so much flesh to learn your lesson. You'll be perfect by morning. He knows it.
Mammon, the fear of those you love suddenly not giving a fuck about you.
Leviathan, collector of all. Turns Mc into a doll. Forever aware but at his mercy for absolutely everything, unmoving and unyielding to time. Being trapped and at the whims of another, no autonomy.
Satan, Wrath. This one is pretty easy. He literally just exploderates you bc ya mad him mad. Murder. Lazy, yes. But just straight up core can be a horror. Sorry it isn't super original.
Asmo, the fight against 'losing one's beauty' and keeping your body preserved in the freeze at the house. Meat last pretty long in the freezer! Well, atleast until he can embalm you. Then you'll be perfect forever sweetie!
Beelzelbub, the glutton. Literally eats your face off while making out. He can't help it you taste so nice Mc. :(
Belphegor
Much like levis. Trapped inside your own head while the world moves on. At least with Levi, you were more aware and could see the world. Here your stuck in dreams.
Diavolo
Loss of a loved one and having to deal with their death. Was thinking Dia never got around to proposing and Mc died and is unable to be saved. So he places a wedding band on their finger before burial. Also unresolved feelings that will ultimately never have closure. The wondering and the grief slowly eating away with time.
Barbatos, manipulator of timelines, but what happens when you lose control and nothing you do stops the suffering? Inadequate at a certain task, fear of failure/seeing your failure over and over.
Simeon, demoted and falling. Transforming into a demon to finally have Mc. Undertones of rape and insecure feelings that will be returned. They have too, right? He's perfect now, a demon that you can love, just like the others. Fear of rejection.
Solomon, body horror, loneliness. Uses your trust to destroy you and your looks/confidence. Fear of being alone, so if you have to solely rely on him, you'll never leave. He can be with you forever.
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20 questions for fic writers - tagged by the fantastic @frosty-the-killer-doll ☃️🔪🪆
How many works do you have on ao3?
13.
What's your total ao3 word count?
72,472
What fandoms do you write for?
The Flash, Glee, and Gossip Girl.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Flying Free (or Free Kurt - Emma Pillsbury Style) ((Glee obvs))
Heartless (Glee)
Smoke and Mirrors (Glee)
Maybe Our Real Soulmates Were The... (Flash/Arrow)
As Frightened As You (Glee)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
It depends. Direct compliments, yes, I'll reply to say thank you. I'll also answer questions, or drop little bits of behind-the-scenes info if there's something fun attached to a detail that a reader pointed out. If the comment is simply "wow!!" or "oof" or something else that doesn't really call for a response and that I don't have anything to add to, I'll just leave it as it is.
What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Toss up between two:
Heartless ends with Kurt getting hit with another wave of grief after having Finn's letterman returned to him, and while he's hugging it and sobbing, for a second it feels like Finn's hugging him back.
The Longest Distance Between Two Points Is Arm's Length ends with Cisco accidentally vibing a moment from earlier in the fic, and misunderstanding what's happening in it. If he'd had context, he would've realized he was seeing proof that his mom loves him, but instead he takes it as a painful reminder that he'll never be enough for her because he's not Dante.
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Probably Alive Again. Just two dorks playing in the rain, on the brink of falling in love.
Do you get hate on fics?
None so far.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Absolutely not.
Do you write crossovers?
Not usually, but I have a few. Maybe Our Real Soulmates Were The... is considered a crossover fic by AO3 and FFN's standards, but not by mine. My most ambitious crossover (and the one I'm most invested in) is Preppy In Pink, which is gonna be so much fun when it's ready for posting.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I certainly hope not. Doesn't look too likely, though.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Pretty sure I haven't had that happen, either. It'd be cool though.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Smoke and Mirrors started as a few lines of dialogue that @kurtbastian-land had sitting in her notes app that she didn't have a full story developed for, and posted on Tumblr for anyone who wanted to expand on it. I wrote a very dramatic continuation (the majority of chapter 1), and then @jwmelmoth gave it a happy ending (chapter 2). But then she realized we left a couple loose ends untied, so the two of us collaborated on how it should end, and wrote a few more chapters together.
What’s your all-time favorite ship to write for?
I honestly don't know. I think I have the most WIPs for Kamisco at the moment, but Barrisco and Kurtbastian are both incredibly fun as well.
What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I started a crossover AU ages ago where Kurt Hummel ends up with Eric van der Woodsen. I don't think I'll ever finish it, but I like to reread the snippets I've already written every now and then.
What are your writing strengths?
Viscerally describing emotions, setting a scene, nailing characters' voices.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Titles, titles, titles, and titles. Oh, and also titles. They HARD!! Also, I'm very bad at following my own advice to write badly and edit later. I want everything to sound pretty immediately! This is how I get stuck on the same paragraph for weeks with a whole big chunk of the fic still unwritten.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Not something I'm going to attempt a whole lot of in the near future. I have already slipped a little bit of Spanish (+1 word of French) into a couple fics, but only like a single word/phrase at a time, spoken by bilingual characters in mostly English sentences. There are also a few spots where a character says more in Spanish, but I don't write the actual dialogue, I just imply a general idea of what they're saying. I'd love to include more, but I'm not about to make a fool of myself with Google Translate—I'm sticking to very minimal Spanish until I can speak it better.
First fandom you wrote for?
First fandom I finished a fic for was Gossip Girl. As for first one I started writing a fic for, it was either Gossip Girl (not the same fic) or Boy Meets World (a still unfinished Shawngela fix-it).
Favorite fic you’ve written?
I mean, A Little Help From Your Friends is pretty hard to beat. It's got everything—humor, angst, fluff, ambiguity, movie references, ROOMMATES!! And funnily enough, I gave it a title with a little help from my friend, @daftydraw (and by "a little" I mean she suggested the whole title and I ran with it).
And tagging: @starstruckpurpledragon @fictionandmusic @orangesunsets12 @thequeenofshebasays @queer-cheer @elledelajoie
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For the ask game
First off, I love the image you chose for this. I can always count on you to come up with something new and unique.
Anyway, on with the answerings. Long post incoming.
11: Link your three favorite fics right now
Alright, let's get this out of the way first. My cardinal sin is not reading enough of other people's work. I'm going to fandom hell after I fandom die sadly but I have already made fandom peace with it. -- I swear I really want to read you guys' stuff I just don't have the time and/or attention span a lot of the time!
[Dear Fellow Traveller by justaboot]
I know, recency bias and all. But hush. The first chapter of this story could have been a story all on its own. I'm going to elaborate on what I like so much about this story in a comment here soon but long story short, I love how Huey is portrayed. Della too. Also Jamie has mentioned that her stories can be traced back to experiences she's had, and I can feel that going through this one. So much vivid detail that takes an experience I've never even touched and makes me feel like I'm living it. Not to mention how Huey feels relatable to me personally (thanks, neurodivergence!). Anyway, get your peepers out for this one, and your reading glasses if you've got em. It'll be a good one.
[Complementary Colors by Korkorali and tsundereanubis]
Come to think of it, this fic might have been a huge inflection point for me. It was probably the first time I ever realized that Violet Sabrewing is Literally Me (TM) because she's autistic and ace and plays chess what is there not to love. But also going through it again, I feel like this at least indirectly inspired "My Head is an Animal". Specifically, the part where Violet has a breakdown and Lena consoles her. Also also, not really related to anything I've done yet, but it got me to take May Duck seriously as a character. One of those moments where I realized that fanfiction could take a one-off clone of somebody else and give them depth, personality, etc. Not that she didn't have that in the show, but I think anybody would tell you that we didn't get very much May Duck content in DT17. Without this fic, we would have never been May'd. Send this to your friends to totally May them.
Pretty much any of the Weblena picks from TerminalMiraculosis but I'm gonna go with three because I cheat:
[Stitched Through Time]
[Crossing the Streams]
[When In Rome]
This was my genesis in the DuckTales 2017 brain rot. I don't care if these end up aging terribly and turns out there's a trillion typos and also it was written in Gaelic so I can't even read it and actually it was all a dream and none of it ever happened. These three are still going to have a special place because they opened me up to being a fan of something. I was just ranging out of that age where you were supposed to hide if you liked stuff, especially anything for kids. My nostalgic pandemic-era binge of Phineas and Ferb, for example, was something to feel shameful of, not enjoy every second of like I ended up doing. But watching DuckTales, and then immersing myself into this fandom shortly thereafter, taught me how to enjoy things. How to love things. How to love myself. Since 2021, I've spent a lot of time embracing who I am and learning to love myself. I'm not gonna say that DT17 taught me how to do all of that, but I will say that it showed me how doing so could make me so much happier in life. And here I am now, being happy in life. Funny how that works.
41: Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?
This answer applies to pretty much everything. Movies, tv shows, and yes, reading stuff. I don't rewatch/reread stuff unless I have a reason to do so. It's nothing against the concept or anything, just that I always feel like I need a reason for doing whatever I do. Usually if I rewatch/reread something, it's because I want to check a specific part of it, like quoting a line properly or what have you. Even the fics that I linked up top, I haven't reread them in the two years since I found them. That's just how my brain works I guess.
62: Thoughts on cliffhangers?
I'm fine with cliffhangers as long as they're eventually resolved. I used a few in "Groundhog Day", and that was fun to do. I'll also say that as a writer, cliffhangers in actively updated fics are a neat little trick to get people talking. Want some free feedback? Just have Lena Sabrewing wake up in a void outside of time and space. And then just end the chapter. Comments go wild for that.
As a reader, cliffhangers are alright but it comes with a big caveat: I'm not the best at remembering what I last read. So if it's been a few days or a week since the cliffhanger, I might have some trouble remembering where we are in the story. It might be a smooth transition where we pick up exactly where we left off, but that might not click in my brain. Idk it's weird. And like I said I tend not to reread stuff that often so that complicates things.
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lol please keep angst coming
so i did almost delete this but you know what i'm just gonna use it as an excuse to post the austin side of all this angst. is this necessarily a blurb? i don't know. it's a lot of words. i know that. and yes i might have had atlantis by seafret on for the entire time i've been writing this. blame spotify i think? tw: angst, death mentions not of the main people, leaked photos ( vanessa hudgens ), minor breeding kink implication, sexual themes, the general character bleed bs that comes with this pa! reader and austin, age difference, dom/sub.
we built this town on shaky ground
so consider the following. austin butler had been in a relationship for almost ten years to a woman that to this day he'll admit he at least somewhat loves. they had gone through a lot together. her father dying, his mother dying. her trying to process the likely lingering trauma of her photos being leaked when she was only 18. him trying and he'll admit this kind of failing to be seen as anything other than the pretty boy eye candy. it paid the bills he wasn't complaining, but this is the same man who printed out pulp fiction at 12 years old. he wanted more.
so when they break up- it's mutual, they'll always swear and because honestly it's no one's business why they broke up beyond that. and he thinks this is the time to just maybe have a fling, do something that isn't fall back into another long term relationship. doesn't necessarily want to be alone, doesn't necessarily want to be sleeping through all of young-ish hollywood. so meeting you? oddly great timing, he's heard a rumor or two about you. doesn't know if he should believe them until he actually meets you in person.
meeting you in person blew whatever thoughts he had right out of the water. baz puts you on the floor and you twiddle your ring and god. this is a problem. this is vanessa all over again isn't it? this is i'm going to careen into being wrapped around this woman's finger. except maybe not because- maybe you'll be wrapped up in each other. this. this is better. that is better.
he couldn't have predicted everything else. a quarantine that has him dropping food off to you like he's some superspy. that has him watching you sleep. that has him falling in love with you bit by bit. you don't fall in love in a month. but you do in six with you at his feet and his hand in your hair and he's got the best little dove in the whole wide world. he's seeing you blissed out on the bed or laying in the bathtub because whatever work out you decided to do for the week just made your muscles hurt. you're it. you're the beginning and the end of everything during those months. you as priscilla and him as elvis and who's who any more is anyone's guess.
the set is taking care of you, is seeing you in a dress like priscilla's and having to excuse himself because- he and vanessa had talked about getting married only for "or i guess we could be like goldie hawn and kurt russell" to leave his lips and her to swat him playfully. but seeing you like that? seeing you all dolled up has him buying a ring identical to priscilla's. he doesn't realize how wrong it is at the time because nothing seems wrong at the time. but he does later on. it's seeing you pregnant as priscilla and fucking you so hard as if he can override your patch in a fit of stupidity because neither one of you need a baby right now. it's later on that day that he's realized that he can't- he's stopped dreaming of a life post elvis without you.
it's filming the scene where priscilla leaves elvis and he breaks down crying against you. "dove, don't- you can't leave me okay? i can't handle that after ness and my mom. you're my girl. my little dove and i'll be your daddy. i won't leave you but please don't leave me." "i won't daddy." "tell me if it gets this bad. i'll fix it." "i will."
consider the fact that you don't and everything starts to keep blurring because they're in the home stretch of the film and austin can tell he's lost himself but he can't drag himself back up because other than maybe ashley and vanessa if he squints you're the only one who could pull him back. you do pull him back when you're in the apartment some times but not always. you've lost yourself and he's lost himself and it all comes to a head at the hospital.
you call him crying after him thinking your name is cilla and you finding the ring and the onesie he wanted to put your potential oops baby- named crystal lori he thinks- in and he's feeling a little more clear headed and "what's wrong, dove? i'll make them let me out, tell me what's wrong!"
you leave him and just call him to tell him that in a car. he has to pay an extra fee for the damage he might have caused to the room. he doesn't get angry ever but he figures he had one leftover elvis tantrum in himself.
you're gonna leave him, fine. he said he wouldn't leave you so he'll take it. "keep in touch, dove. i said i wouldn't leave you. i'm here for you."
and you do on occasion which he realizes- might have been a problem. he should have let you have the clean break. but he knew- he knew you still talked to papi and that man did damage to you he's not even sure you realize. so sue him for being selfish. for being that selfish daddy like all the rest.
so he lets himself enjoy his first year of his thirties and the tail end of his twenties. there's lily who he adores but he should have known better. there's olivia who is great and sometimes his brain wanders to another time and place where he could have switched for her if she had gotten the part. but then there's you in that dress with the boy who can't satisfy you and he's been good, he hasn't said anything but that dress and seeing his necklace still around your throat with your collar in his dresser? yeah that breaks him.
he drinks and spews filth and you're calling him butler and then he's blocked and kaia? kaia reminds him of you enough to not be painful but enough to make him think he's got a new little dove. until he meets her mom and realizes no- this isn't fair to any of you. so he breaks it off and tells her, "you're going to find a great guy, but it's not gonna be me. i'll be your friend though. if you need it."
and consider. the met happens after that and he should have told you then that he wanted to keep you forever. he didn't.
but he fixes it at cannes. and maybe that's how it was supposed to go. maybe that's how you were supposed to be all along. he doesn't dwell, after all isn't that what got you two in trouble in the first place?
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Okay time for the Ihehshk and Pen lore I promised
I recently posted that my asks are open and that I'll be answering them with illustrated answers!
In that post I shared an image featuring a Drathah character and a human character that I haven't shared before! So that's what this post is about! Those two and their lore and also their refs.
For some context, there exist in my mind Two Time Points, from which various stories on Thardahk take place around. The one I visit more frequently, and from which I reference more of the events and story lines of Drathah history and individual character events, takes place in the year 1148 on Thardahk. It's the first point I thought of, the one I think about more often, the one during which more of my characters and stories take place around. For the Drathah it's a rather unassuming year, but a lot of things happen just before and just after. It's sort of the equivalent to 2019/2020 for us. Technically in the past, but a lot of shit happens so it doesn't feel like it, and during that time we had no clue what was headed our way.
The other point in time is 1219, which is where Ihehshk and Penjani come in. 1219 is sort of Thardahk's sci-fi space age. Thardahk years are weird, so even though all the other characters are "only 70 years older" one Thardahk year is THREE human years, so actually over 200 human years have passed. (This is just reminding me I haven't talked about the Thardahk calender/times for things on here yet...)
Earth and the human race are also highly advanced. I originally said earth was 500 years in the future, but I might change that to be less.
Faster then light travel, planetary colonization, genetic modification, other advanced sciences and medicines, as well as a completely different political landscape.
I haven't worked out all of the bits and world building for this time of the Drathah story, because as I mentioned it's pretty secondary to everything else. I like sci-fi but I struggle to write it. 1219 is sort of my fun playground compared to 1148's more serious story writing. It's for me to consider how humans might interact with the Drathah, and vice versa. It's for fun silly space stories.
But in order to explore these fun silly space stories, I need characters through which to explore them and tell them! And so Ihehshk and Pen were created!
Ihehshk are both Astronaut/Scientist/Social ambassador folks!
They're part of a human and drathah program, where various kinds of folks from both species hang out as essentially roommates, and teach each other about their languages, cultures, science and technology.
They're sorta coworkers sorta roommates, but they are genuinely friends!
Pen really likes talking about human cultures, and learning about Drathah fashion and holidays.
Ihehshk really likes talking about history and learning about Earth's animals and human technology.
Also yes, their height difference in the asks post is accurate.
Pen is 5'10" (177.8cm), and Ihehshk is 7'10" (238.76cm).
I'm realizing now, several hours later, that I forgot Pen's mole and piercings in the asks post.... sigh
It always has to be AFTER you've posted it that you notice the obvious and easily avoidable mistake right???
Please ignore almost all of the numbers on Ihehshk's reference. Those numbers are no longer cannon. The day and month of their birthday is still correct, but not the year. (Thardahk has 17 months. I promise I'll share the calendar publicly eventually......)
Also here's a fullbody so your can see all of Ihehshk's patterns.
100% sfw and not even rude. The Drathah have way looser modesty customs and also no visible physical differences between sexes, and they're furry, like your dog, so yeah, sometimes if the weather's nice and they're just loungin about they don't wear clothes. Casual events might call for shorts. I forget if I've posted about this on here already.
So yeah!!! Those are my newest weirdos! If you're interested in learning more about them or the world they live in pop a question in my ask box! :D I'd love to draw them answering it!
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