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#(and a stupid youtube comment even told me the chapter it happens in so thanks for that) but i've heard no spoilers of jesper
youremyonlyhope · 3 years
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I should have known that after finding out that Jesper is mixed the same way I am (Zemeni aka Black mother and Kaelish aka Irish father) that anything about his backstory would hit me very hard.
Did not think I’d cry over it though. Yet here I am.
#six of crows#crooked kingdom#jesper fahey#insert that Rosa gif of 'if anything happened to him i'd kill everyone in this room and then myself'#i already felt that way after watching the show but reading the books...#ahhh my heart someone help i didn't think i'd cry but i kinda felt it coming on so i took a break for a second#put some stuff away then picked up the book again and cried a little anyway#ahhhhh#also and maybe i'll go more into this when i make another 5000+ word review of this series like i did shadow and bone#as a mixed person i know we have a lot of privilege in film and tv so reading the books and seeing that Jesper is described as dark#i was like 'i love Kit but maybe this role should have gone to a black person who isn't mixed or at least not as light skinned'#Kit's not light skinned he's medium skinned but he's not dark like jesper was initially described in the books#(we see this all the time when mixed people are cast as fully black characters like Amandla in Rue in the Hunger Games)#(were they a perfect Rue? yes. were they half picked because of colorism and they're not dark? also yes.)#then i found out his father is Kaelish and i was like OOOOHHH he was cast as a mixed actor on PURPOSE! YESSSSSSSSSS#so i'm glad him being mixed is an actual part of his character and not just another example of colorism in hollywood#and that also means i can fiercely identify with Jesper and cry over his mom and dad's beautiful relationship#and on that note if something bad happens to jesper i am now going to riot. i am already spoiled about something horrible#(and a stupid youtube comment even told me the chapter it happens in so thanks for that) but i've heard no spoilers of jesper#I just realized I misgendered Amandla in my earlier tags. they use they/them#I’ll edit those tags once I get home since on my phone it will be too hard#ok that’s been fixed
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Looking for a Place to Happen 2
Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), age gap, general stupidity, some violence and threats
This is dark!biker!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Series Synopsis: There’s lots happening in Birch and you find it all too amusing.
Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, Little Bones, and Fully Completely
Note: Here’s chapter two. Think I’ll probably slow down writing. Appreciate y’all.
Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)
I really hope you enjoy. 💋
<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!
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Chapter 2: I follow every little whiff
💀💀💀
You gave yourself a day off that week. Rather, the desolation of Birch allowed you an excuse to get away from your desk. An internet outage across the town had you up and wandering the main road just after noon. Your grandmother refused to join you so she was left to her true crime novel and the weekday droning of talk show hosts.
After a peek in the book shop where you picked out some used thrillers for your nan and a guilty splurge on one of Babs' pies to add to the surprise, you stopped by the diner and had some soup to warm up from the unrelenting cold. You played around on your phone as you blindly slurped from your spoon. With no available connection, you swapped candies to achieve a score high enough to get to the next round.
After another loss, you put your screen down and added some pepper to the tomato soup. You leaned your chin in your hand and peered across the road. The Asp was just diagonal from The Chipped Saucer and from your seat by the window you could see the comings and goings of the dingy bar.
You chuckled to yourself as you remembered the hundreds of comments on your video. You weren't entirely surprised that the internet cheered at the sight of a woman beating up a man in broad daylight, you'd seen much worse on the web. But many were curious and asked about how it started and about the small town alluded to in the caption.
You picked up your phone and flipped open the camera. You pointed it through the glass as one of the many bikers strutted out of the bar and down the street. You knew him, like most in town, he was the leader's right hand man. Steve Rogers. He had an odd gait, rigid with long strides, and you remember Kelly used to make fun of him when you walked home from school. That felt like forever ago.
You ended the video and dropped your phone again. You'd send it to Kelly when the outage was over. It would be a good laugh. Plus, you hadn't heard from her much since she moved to the city.
You finished your soup and paid. You went out into the street and cut around to the backstreets. You made your way back to your nans and found Pippin scratching at the front door. You stopped and scooped him up before you let yourself in.
"Don't like the snow, do ya?" You set him down and he whipped his tail before skittering off, "hey nan, I got you some stuff."
"You spend too much," she grumbled as you hung your coat and grabbed her treats.
"Only on you," you sang as you entered the front room, "sugarless blueberry pie, your fave, and some books about murder and all that freaky stuff you love."
"Hmm," she watched you put the pie and books down on the coffee table, "suppose the pie will go good with tea."
"Ah, and I suppose I'll be making that tea?" You returned.
"My arthritis…" she pouted but her grin came through.
"Yeah, yeah," you snickered as you went to the kitchen to put on the kettle, "we going black today or something lighter?"
"Put on some of the pekoe," she called back, "make a whole pot."
"Will do, ma'am," you trilled and basked in her annoyed mutter.
💀
When the internet came back, you sent of an email to inform the agency of the interruption and promised to meet your deadlines. Then you puttered around and added a caption to the video before you sent it off to Kelly; 'why he walk like that tho'. She sent a series of crying emojis back and told you to post it.
'Nah, it's a dumb joke.' You typed back.
'Saw ur last vid, ppl will eat it up,' she insisted.
'Well, got nothing else to put up. The account’s dying since no one cares about my writing.'
'DO IT.' Her words sealed your resolve and you uploaded the video with some dramatic music in the background.
The response was almost instantaneous. Several comments saying they were happy to see more and others being for another video. 'We all wanna see inside this fucked up town' one added and several latched on. Ignoring the questions of where this was, you gave a thin promise of future small town thug content. 
You turned back to your work email and opened up your draft for your next gig. You couldn't help but smile as you went over your work. You might have just found your niche.
💀
You knew your nan would lose it if she knew you were snooping around the club, so you didn’t tell her. You went down, made her breakfast, went back upstairs to do your work, then tiptoed out in the late afternoon to poke around town for something to upload. Birch was so dull when you lived there but to those outside, it was a novelty you were all too eager to provide.
You got more videos of the bikers; some revving their bikes, others arguing, but there was nothing overly usable. You were getting bored of it until the man himself walked out of the bar. You record the man’s glower expression as he marched down the sidewalk and turned off just down the way.
‘His name is Bucket… wtf?!’ you keyed in and snorted as you waited for it to load to your account.
Still, there was nothing special going on, like always in Birch, and your grandmother was bound to get suspicious if you kept sneaking around. You went back and hid your phone before she could bitch about it. You cooked her dinner and sat with her as your thoughts swung between work and your TikTok.
You went to bed but couldn’t sleep. You ended up watching YouTube on your phone as the windows shook with the night winds. It wasn’t until the darkness began to glow that you were roused from the cocoon of your comforter. You looked out and saw smoke coming from the main road.
You didn’t think before you pulled on your jeans and shoved your feet into your slipper, unconcerned about them soaking through as you barreled down the stairs, the sleeves of your hoodie only half on. The back door bounced behind you and you crunched down into the snow and clamored past the row of lifeless houses. 
You were out of breath as you got to the end of the path and rounded the diner to gape over at the burning garage. You got closer as the line of bikers stood in their leather with breath puffing before them in the frigid night. You stepped back into the shadow of the brick façade of the realty office and swiped your camera open.
Your hands shook and you struggled to steady the image on the screen as the mechanic woman raged in only her tee shirt. You didn’t quite understand what was going on; only that her garage was up in smoke and then men were doing nothing to smother it. She swung at the dark haired man and spat at several others; “cowards”... “fuck all of you!”
You gulped and held your breath as she was dragged away by the large redheaded henchman of the slender outsider. She fought for a moment before she was flung over his shoulder and the biker followed their leader back to The Asp. You sidled in between the building and hid until the voices faded into the wind.
Well, that would be a hell of a video. It might even go viral.
💀
Your phone did not stop. You almost felt bad as you saw the screen limn the edges of your cell as you left it face down on the little table beside the couch. Your nan sat in her rocking chair talking away on her corded phone to Linette from down the road. You suspected that every other person in town was gossiping about the same thing; the fire.
You finished your coffee and rubbed your eyes as you checked the time and ignored the pulsing notifications. It was too much to keep up with.
Your grandmother hung up and sighed, “can’t believe it. You hear?”
“Hear what?” you pretended ignorance.
“That old garage burned down. The one with the lady,” she said, “pity. When I was a girl, that place was a salon. Ma used to take us there to get our hair cut. The barber would give us wrapped candies and pretend to cut himself with his scissors.”
“Oh? It burned down?” you weren’t sure you were very convincing but you also could just say you saw it happen.
“Yep, no one really can say. You know, maybe she was welding or some rag caught, but I bet my money on those bikers,” she sneered.
“Good thing you’re poor,” you kidded, “and why the bikers?”
“Oh, well, you know Kimmy, Linette’s girl, works down at the diner and she saw that mechanic arguing with one of those strangers, the ones dealing with the club men. Well, it’s no coincidence that trouble follows those leather jackets around,” she rocked as she nodded knowingly, “oh, one of the boys I knew back in the day, he was found burnt up with his bike. They said the tank blew… well, I saw it and that tank was pristine.”
“Nan,” you gasped, “you… Jesus.”
“Well, things don’t change in Birch, we just get older,” she continued, “when you’re young, everything seems new but then you age and it’s all just the same.”
“Wow, how… inspiring,” you said dryly.
“Girlie, you gotta be careful,” she intoned, “that fire, that’s a lesson to all the women in this town. To everyone. You don’t cross the Commandos.”
“I don’t think anyone--”
“That’s another thing, there has never been a shortage of stupid people, not now not then,” she girded, “those women who get tied up in that club, their lives are already done.”
You frowned and hid your phone in your pocket as you stood. You rubbed your neck and picked up your empty mug, “I should get started.”
“Mmm,” she said as she dialed the phone again, “I wonder if Fran knows yet.” 
💀
You were being really fucking stupid but peer pressure was not a logical thing. Even through a screen, you found it hard to resist the goads. So there you were, your phone in your hand as you live-streamed your walk down to The Asp. The data costs alone would make you regret it but you were caught up in the hype of you fifteen second of internet fame.
“Alright,” you stopped across the street and gave a view of the moniker with Cleopatra sultrily looking down at you, “this is it… I just gotta play it cool…” you turned the lens towards you and smiled nervously, “hopefully that dude at the front doesn’t stop me.”
Comments flicked up the bottom of the screen so fast and smilies and hearts floated up the side around your face. You crossed the screen as you turned your phone against your coat and approached the bar door. The large biker butted out his smoke and you bared your teeth nervously. He didn’t stop you as he rolled his shoulders and coughed.
You entered to the noise of classic rock and low voices, the clink of glasses and tap of chalk on marble. You glanced around and quickly swept your phone around to give a view of the patrons. You hurried over to the bar and climbed up on a stool.
“You need a drink?” the woman behind the bar scowled. She looked worn out even with her lips painted bright pink and her eyes clouded with blue shadow.
“Uh, sure, can I… can I get one pint of everything you have on tap?” you asked as you set your phone down and shrugged out of your coat. You draped it over the next stool and reposition your phone as you flipped the cam and used the built in stand on the case to angle yourself onto the screen.
“Sure,” she narrowed her eyes and glanced past you.
You swung your feet as you waited for her to pour the five pints; some with too much foam and the others with no head at all. You took the first and held it up for the camera.
“A classic, BudLight,” you held it up to the light, “no head and…” you sipped, “flat.” You plunked it down and coughed as you grabbed the next, “this is a raddler?” you looked at the tap for confirmation, “grapefruit… smells like piss…” you had a sip, “tastes like it too.”
You chuckled to yourself and asked for a water. You made a show of swishing it around in your mouth before you moved onto the third beer.
“Had to cleanse the palate,” you joked, “now… lots of foam on this one, dark. You know, I’m pretty surprised they have Guinness here but let’s see…” you tasted it and crinkled your nose, “that’s it. Exactly like toilet water!”
You read some of the comments telling you to check the bottles for bugs and laughed. Suddenly you were yanked off the stool by the back of your shirt and your phone was swiped up by another man as the first restrained you. You struggled against his thick arm as it hooked around your neck and the leader of their crew stared at the screen of your cell.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he snarled as he hit the screen with his thumb but the stream kept going. He dropped the phone to the floor and stomped it instead.
“This is the bitch posting about us online,” the man at your back growled. It was Steve, the one with the weird walk.
“I doubt either of you know how to use a computer,” you scoffed, “hey, let me go.”
“And why would we do that when you’re snitching to the whole world, sweetheart?” Bucky kicked your phone away as he crossed his arms.
“Actually, I’m--” you grasped Steve’s arm as it threatened to get tighter, “--promoting your trash business. I was just having a tasting, if you had just asked--”
“Shut up!” Bucky stepped closer and brought your legs up and stopped him as you planted your feet against his stomach.
“Hey,” a woman’s voice came from behind the bar as the waitress shoved aside her empty tray, “hey, she’s just a kid.”
“Bullshit,” Bucky huffed, “she looks full-grown to me.”
“So what are you gonna do?” she said, “she’s young. You can’t--”
“Don’t tell me what I can’t do,” he snapped.
“She’s right,” another voice intoned and that man, Sam, came up beside them with a pool cue in hand, “she’s just goofing around.”
“She’s a rat,” Steve insisted.
“You’re being dramatic. It’s called a meme and you do walk a little strange,” he chuckled, “no one’s gonna follow her breadcrumbs back to this shithole anyway.”
Bucky considered Sam and then looked at Steve. He poked his cheek with his tongue and sucked his teeth.
“So… you vouching for her?” Bucky asked.
“She won’t cause any more trouble, promise,” Sam said, “I’ll make sure of it.”
“You better,” Bucky snapped his fingers and you were released, “get her out of here.” 
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adorethedistance · 3 years
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READING MY BOYFRIEND’S FANFICTION?? - Owen Joyner x Influencer!Reader
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JATP masterlist
Requested: OMGGG!! Could you do a an Owen fic based around his girlfriend being an armature youtuber/social media influencer (shes also an actress and they met on set and have been dating for a while) and it’s “reading/reacting to my boyfriend’s fanfiction” ? You can do whatever you want with the fanfic part it’s just a concept that has been running around in my head for a while. LOVE ALL YOUR WORK!!
Warnings: swearing, allusions to sex, very mild
Words: 1460
A/N: A fic?? From Ace?? Hi. I’m off spring break officially and so my stress has dissipated immensely. School was becoming so much these last two weeks and I thought I’d be stressed or worried, but I’m actually fine? It’s weird lol so I decided I could be productive with my stress-free moment and post a little fic for y’all. I love this prompt, and before any of you writers panic, I’m using my own fics for the fanfictions because I wouldn’t want to put y’all on the spot like that. Also this is my 3000 post! thought that was cool lol
“Do you wanna do the intro?”
“I think I have to do the intro.”
“Okay, go for it.”
“Alright,” Owen sighs out a heavy breath in exaggerated preparation for my (some would say lengthy) intro. “Hello, hi. Yes, okay, this is Y/n Y/l/n vlogs, welcome or welcome back to my channel!” Once Owen finishes his statement I’m so stunned I can’t generate any sort of response other than a slacked jaw semi smile.
“That was not even close. Do you know my intro?”
“I got the first part right!”
“You’ve lost intro privileges,” I turn back to the mess of lights and tripods in front of me and ignore the disaster of an intro Owen offered. “Oh, hello, hi! I am Y/n and this is: Reading My Boyfriend’s Fanfiction!”
“That’s basically what I did.”
“No, it is not! It’s ‘oh, hello, hi. I am ‘name’ and this is: ‘title of video’.”
“You don’t ‘welcome to my channel’?” Owen’s voice has dropped to a hushed volume as he genuinely inquires about the segments of my usual introduction.
“I do not.”
“Don’t use any of this,” he pleads when making direct eye contact with the camera. “Mister Sid. Editing Sid, please don’t embarrass me.” His pleas fall on deaf ears, knowing that I’ll be using the footage in full.
“Anyways. Butchered intro aside, I am Y/n and today I am here with my lovely “So Many Stars” costar and scene partner, Owen Joyner!”
“I’m also your boyfriend.”
“That too,” I give Owen’s pointed comment a soft place to land, “So, yesterday--it was actually like, two weeks ago, I don’t know why I said yesterday--a little while back, I came across a tweet telling me someone had written a fanfic about us-”
“Did you read it?”
“On Wattpad. Of course, I read it. There are only three chapters up right now and they’re all in the 2-3k range so it was a quick read.”
“2-3k?”
“Words,” I reply nonchalantly as I unlock my phone. I bookmarked a few one-shots beforehand for us to read, and I’m slightly cocky about my selections. Owen then responds with an outburst of shock.
“2-3 thousand words is a short read?” I merely give him a blank stare.
“Judging by that reaction, Owen hasn’t read any fanfics in his life.”
“Is that not long to you- That’s what she said.” Owen cuts me off with his own stupid joke and I briefly sigh before answering.
“No, that isn’t long. Baby, I’m here for that 130k slow burn enemies to lovers on AO3 with the ‘only one bed’ and ‘locked in a closet’ tropes.”
“The what?”
“Oh, we have so much to catch you up on.”
__________________________
“So I saved three fics, an angst, a fluff, and a smut. Which do you want to read?”
“Wait, what does that mean?”
“Oh my- okay. Angst is the sad shit, it’s what you read when you need your heartbroken and a good cry. Smut is pretty much in the name, it’s explicit content that will undoubtedly get this video demonetized, but that’s okay because we do have a sponsor. And fluff is the cute moments, domestic and sometimes mundane romance that makes you smile like an idiot and put the device down to screech into a pillow.” Throughout my whole explanation, I can tell Owen was becoming more and more lost, so I opt to give him a few moments to collect his thoughts.
“Let’s start with the fluff just to ease into things.”
“Smart choice. This fic I have saved is called ‘Baby Fever’ and the summary says ‘you and Owen spend a day at the zoo babysitting Baby Shada, and her presence sparks conversation about adding a new presence of your very own’.”
“That sounds so ominous.”
“Here, I’ll read the narration and reader’s POV, and then you’ll read your own dialogue.” Owen nods and leans over my right shoulder to read off of my computer screen.
“You actually start the fic.”
“‘You ready, little one?’” The instantaneous actor mode Owen slips into has me howling with laughter at which he looks at me confused. My gasping for air makes Owen laugh empathetically despite still being unsure as to what’s killing me at the moment.
“Why are you laughing?!” He yells, dramatically shaking my shoulder.
“Just the way you jumped into that, I wasn’t prepared for you to turn on the acting charm. Okay, uhhhh, ‘I bite back a laugh when I hear Owen’s voice coo from the back seat’.”
The two of us go back and forth between reading the narrative, bouts of laughter, commentary on the accuracy of Owen’s character, and we finally manage to finish the 2.5k fic in about forty minutes.
“‘When he looks up from CJ’s tiny body and recognizes the familiar ‘baby fever’ look in my eyes, he smiles and utters a simple-’.”
“‘I told you so.’”
“That was cute! I like the tie-in of having us watching over Baby Shada- or, sorry, you and ‘y/n’ watching over Baby Shada.”
“They wrote me kinda funny, I don’t think I’d ever fabricate a life to make conversation with a stranger due to baby fever.” My jaw drops slightly and before Owen can respond to my reaction, I cry,
“That is such a lie!”
“What?”
“You absolutely would do something like that, are you kidding me?!”
“No, I would not!” Owen punctuates every word with the utmost offense. He has the same look in his eye as when he was proving himself to be the cleanest phantom of the three on the Sunset Drive podcast.
“You literally told the guy at Home Depot yesterday that we were buying plants for our child’s nursery!”
“Okay, that’s different-”
“How is that different? That’s the exact same thing as fanfic you!” Owen’s furrowed brow and dropped jaw are a sight to be seen as he leans away from me, bending at the waist to stare at me with defiance. I raise my eyebrows pointedly as I await a response. Instead of actually producing a response, Owen lunges forward, grabbing my waist in his hands and squeezing gently. The feeling makes me screech and gasp of laughter from surprise and also being ticklish.
“Owen! Owe-STOP, I’m gonna drop my laptop!” I manage to say through my laughter and with one final grab, he releases me from his hold. It takes a minute for my laughter to settle but once I do, the two of us are simply breathing heavy and staring at one another with giddy smiles on our faces. In a moment’s clarity, I turn to look into the camera lens to talk directly to my editor,
“Sid, don’t use any of this. And please don’t cut to this after we finish reading to make it look like- things were happening.”
“Actually, I think you should, Sid. Just cut to right there and make the world think we-”
“OKAY, thanks for watching, bye!” I quickly stop the recording before Owen says something we’re unable to recover from. I hear him laugh gently behind me as I set my laptop down on the coffee table behind the tripod. Coming back to the couch, I move to plop down but before landing successfully on the cushion next to my phone, Owen grabs my body and moves me to sit on top of him.
“You are crazy, you know that?”
“Hmm. Crazy for you, maybe.” His cheesy line makes me scoff but smile nonetheless. I reach my right hand up to caress the side of his face as we sit cheek to cheek.
“Remind me to never film with you again.” The gesture is sweet and the sentiment is not which makes Owen laugh and he presses a soft kiss to my cheek. I lean back into him so my back is pressed flush with his chest as he lazily wraps both arms around me.
“You say that now but you’ll regret it when you wanna do a ‘boyfriend does my makeup’ challenge video.”
“Nah. I’ll just call Charlie to-” Without allowing me to finish my sentence, Owen is digging his fingertips back into the tissue of my sides and I squeal with laughter once more. This time the torment is short-lived and Owen releases me after a sweet, reconciling kiss. “Do you have baby fever now?”
“It was cute and all, but not really, no.”
“That’s too bad,” I stand up from my spot on his lap to grab my computer and hold it to my chest, “I was gonna say we could practice some baby-making.”
And with that, I turned on the balls of my feet, heading for my bedroom when I heard Owen stand up eagerly, quick to follow.
***
Taglist: @caitsymichelle13​ @kaitlyn2907​ @itz-jas​ @crybabyddl​ @kcd15​ @kinda-really-lost​ @calamitykaty​ @morganayennefertyrell@n0wornever​ @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ @mrstodorooki@vicesvsvirturesfanfic @curlybrownhairedboys​ @amazinggracy​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @ghostlygreenbean​ @juliefromaustralia @merceret​ @jemimah-b99​ @ifilwtmfc​ @thesweetestsinner​ @imsydneywalker​ @lovesanimals​ @thebloodthirstyvampress​ @bumbleberry-pie​ @losers-club6​ @tefilovesreading​ @dmcfarland1​@joynerxmercer @kexrtiz​ @talk-on-the-street​ @phantompogues​ @konciousdreamer​ @sunsetcurvej​ @warmnesss0ul​
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Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Little Movie Star Chapter Seven (Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader)
[Actors-Masterlist], [Little Movie Star-Masterlist]
Previous Chapter / Next Chapter (05/08/2021)
Summary: Holidays were around the corner & you were more than a little anxious. How did one celebrate Christmas? You had no money for expensive gifts. Well, that meant you had to improvise. Hopefully, it was enough for them.
Words: 3,526
Warnings: Christmas Chapter in May?, anxiety, language, fluff, cute gift exchange <3
~2016~
That night, Jared left your room after you fell asleep. No matter how many times you begged him not to tell anyone about your panic attack, he could not do that. So as the party slowly died down, he pulled Jensen & Danneel aside & told them what he had witnessed. Obviously, they were concerned about you. Yet, they did not go to you right away. If you were ready to open up to them, you would. Still, they kept a closer eye on you from then on, noticing smaller signs of you struggling with anxiety. Jensen hated that you kept this part of you hidden. But he understood that there was a long way for you to fully trust a person & you simply were not there yet. They had to accept it, whether they liked it or not.
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Supernatural had a lot to film before the holidays & Jensen had not really been a consistent part in Vancouver because of him flying back & forth. He felt bad when he told you he had to go back filming until the beginning of December. Brushing him off, you assured him that you guys would be fine alone. Besides, you also had Gen & the kids to entertain you. Over the short time, you had grown close to them. You loved whenever Tom & Shep came by to play with JJ & they wanted you to be a part of it. There were some times when Danneel, Gen & you would have a girls day together. At first, it was a lot for you, but you had grown to love them. At the same time, Danneel & you got to know each other way better, especially with Jensen being back in Vancouver.
Holidays were approaching fast & you had no idea how to deal with it. You had never celebrated Christmas before & were not sure if you should get your new family presents or not. Were they people who valued gifts? Would you receive some? Of course you would, you knew the Ackles’ by now. So you had to think of something. Fast. There was no way you could spend a lot of money on these presents. Not because you did not want to but because it would not be your money. You had saved up a little bit & it would do for small gifts. Then you had an idea.
“Where are you going?” Danneel asked when she saw you putting your shoes on. You coughed shortly, trying to think of an excuse. She knew you did not like going anywhere alone so she was surprised when she found you getting ready.
“Um, just wanna take a walk. I won’t be gone too long.” you promised her & before she could answer, you were out of the door. Danneel was confused by your behavior but she thought it to be positive that you were going outside on your own. Clearly, she had no idea that you were going shopping for Christmas presents.
After buying all the stuff that you needed, you started preparing the presents. You still had over a month left but you wanted to start earlier, just in case. It was not a lot, definitely not expensive, but you hoped they still liked it after unwrapping it. When you realized that you had no idea how to wrap a present, you embarrassingly had to check YouTube for a how-to video. After a few failed attempts & you growing frustrated because you clearly were too dumb to get it done correctly. In the end, you managed to wrap everything. It was by no means good or perfect but you could see what it was supposed to represent.
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“How was filming?” you asked Jensen after he came back home.
“It was good. We had a lot of fun, as always.” he answered with a laugh.
“So…can you tell me what happens?” managing your best puppy dog eyes, something Jared had learned you over facetime while they were shooting, Jensen simply shook his head at you.
“Forget it, young lady. You’re a fan of the show, I won’t give away any spoilers, you have to wait like everyone else.”
“You don’t have to wait.” sighing exaggeratingly, you wanted to argue with him.
“Next season you won’t have to.” this made your smile grow wider. He was right, you would start in a few months & you could not wait to receive your first script. “Besides…The guys told me that they can’t wait to finally meet you & work with you.” Jensen looked at you, watching your reacting.
“Fingers crossed they won’t regret casting me.” you joked which made him laugh. He knew you were not serious but the meaning behind your words left an uneasiness in him.
“They won’t, trust me.” he reassured you. Hopefully he was right.
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Decorating for Christmas was fun. Even Jared & Gen came over to help you out a little. You all planned to spend Christmas Eve together at your house so you could celebrate Christmas the next morning together as well. This would be the first time you were not entirely alone on this holiday. Hell, you had no idea how to celebrate Christmas in the first place. What were you supposed to do? Maybe you would be just fine if push came to shove.
Two more days until Christmas Eve & you could not help but grow more anxious the closer it got. Your fear of doing anything wrong was so big that you barely had time to enjoy the Christmas spirit. Whatever that was anyway…Knocking on the front door that belonged to the house next to yours, you fiddled with your hands, now feeling stupid for coming over in the middle of the night. They were probably asleep, they would not even hear your attempt of knocking. To your surprise, the door opened only a few seconds later.
“(Y/N)? You alright?” it was Jared, his hair tousled from being asleep. Shit, you did wake him. Great, now you were feeling even worse. Shaking your head, Jared ushered you inside quickly.
“What’s up? It’s…” he looked at his phone to check the time. “3 am.”
“I sneaked out.” you confessed.
“And you did that because..?” Jared was confused. Never before had you shown up at his house in the middle of the night. Whatever was bothering you, it was serious, he could tell. He noticed your trembling hands before you had the chance to answer him. Immediately, he walked you over to his couch to sit down. Making sure to send Jensen a quick text just in case he woke up & could not find you, he put his phone away again, focusing entirely on you.
“I’m sorry.” your voice was quiet & Jared felt his heart breaking.
“Don’t be.” he assured you. “Is there anything you need me to do for you?” he spoke softly, showing you that he was not about to leave you.
“I don’t know, I just…ugh.” throwing your head back in frustration, you were angry at yourself for being so childish. Yet, you did not know what else to do. Jared was the only person who knew a little about what you were struggling with. So you did what you thought was right. Knocking on his door at 3 am. Maybe it was not the best decision you ever made.
“Hey, it’s okay. Deep breaths.” he instructed & you followed through. “There you go. You can talk to me, (Y/N).”
“You’d think it’s stupid.”
“Try me.” his answer got a little laugh out of you. Jared’s eyes grew wider when you did.
“I’m scared of Christmas.” you admitted embarrassingly. When Jared did not say anything, you continued. “This is my first time celebrating & I don’t know what to do or what is appropriate or how you guys usually celebrate it or if you expect something from me or-“ Jared interrupted your rambling.
“Hey, hey, hey. (Y/N). I can assure you that nobody expects anything from you. Except maybe the fact that you are there. That’s all that matters. You being with us to celebrate Christmas together.” Jared’s eyes showed nothing but understanding. Your conversation went on for a little longer & when you wanted to leave his house, he told you to sleep in their guest room for the night. Too tired & exhausted to argue any more with him, you let him lead you to the spare room where you embraced the soft sheets right away. It felt good to open up to someone but you did not understand why you were okay with telling Jared but when it came to Jensen & Danneel, you chickened out.
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When you woke up next morning, you got startled for a second, briefly forgetting about last night’s events. What would you tell Jensen & Danneel? Getting up & using the bathroom that was attached to the guest room, you were surprised to find clothes on the counter. Assuming Jared was the one who put them there, a small smile made its way on your face. A quick shower would not be too bad so you hopped inside quickly, letting the warm water soothe your skin. After drying off your body, you put on the clothes Jared had prepared for you. A pair of sweatpants & one of his hoodies. Well, you were not sure if he ever got this one back, if you were honest. You knew your way through the Padalecki’s house by now, due to you spending a lot of time there lately. Paddling through the hallway, you heard distant voices coming from the kitchen area.
“Good morning, (Y/N)! Breakfast is about to be done.” Jared spoke up before you could even see him. What was it with him & his spidey senses?
“Morning, Jared. Sorry again for las-“ coming to a halt right after walking inside the room. Jensen & Danneel were already sitting at the table. Shit, you did not expect that.
“I invited them over for breakfast.” Jared told you. Oh, really? You almost missed that.
“Yeah, I can see that.” chuckling & slowly walking over to a chair, your eyes focused on the floor, too embarrassed to look Jensen & Danneel in the eyes. They were about to yell at you for sneaking out in the middle of the night without telling them anything.
“Am I dreaming or is Jared really making breakfast?” Gen walked into the room & everyone laughed at her comment, even you. Surprisingly, breakfast went by smoothly. Nobody mentioned last night & you were more than thankful for it. But you also knew that Jared most likely talked to Jensen & Danneel about what happened anyway. Who were you kidding, though? They were probably aware of the panic attack you had during the party a while ago. Jared only meant well but still…this entire thing made you extremely uncomfortable. You hated that more & more of yourself got revealed to them & you could not do shit to stop it. Being vulnerable in front of them was awful. Hell, they had more important things to worry about than you & your stupid problems.
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“(Y/N)? Can you come here real quick, please?” Jensen asked you after being back in your house again.
“Sure, what’s up?” you were nervous about what he wanted from you but you had to give yourself that. You played it incredibly cool. Like there was nothing wrong at all.
“So for Christmas Eve, we’re doing a movie night, right?” he knew the answer to that question but still decided to ask. After nodding your head, he kept on. “What’s your favorite Christmas movie?” that caught you off guard. He asked you? Why would he ask you?
“Um, I love “Home Alone” but the munchkins shouldn’t watch that.” you concluded. A while ago, whenever you talked about all the kids, you called them munchkins. You found it cute.
“True.” Jensen chuckled.
“I’m sure they’d love “Frozen”, though.” this made Jensen sigh loudly & you laughed at his antics. In all the time you had been with them, you sure as hell had watched that movie about thirty times. No kidding. Really.
“Okay, you know what? We’ll start off with “Frozen” & after the kids are asleep, we’ll watch “Home Alone”, is that alright?”
“Sure, if you guys don’t wanna watch another Christmas movie.”
“Not at all. This one’s perfect.” his smile eased you & you loved the fact that he wanted to include you in their tradition. Yep, Jared definitely told him.
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Christmas Eve dinner was delicious & you did not feel anxious at all. Chatting, laughing & enjoying each other’s company was more than enough. Your movie marathon was perfect, too. During “Frozen”, you found yourself singing along to each song, as did the little ones. Well, they tried, at least. Everyone was happy to see you enjoying yourself. When you were like that, nobody could tell that you had a shitty past or that you were still struggling with the consequences of it. This was the first time that Jensen had heard you sing & he was surprised that your voice was actually pretty damn good. Maybe you would sing with him one day, who knew? The kids went to sleep & the five of you watched “Home Alone”, happy that the others were enjoying this movie as well. Before you guys went to bed, too, Jensen, Danneel, Jared & Gen placed a bunch of presents under the big, decorated tree. You wanted to wait to add your presents to the other stacks until everyone was fast asleep. So you sneaked out of your room later that night to do exactly that.
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Three kids jumping up & down on your bed woke you from your peaceful slumber. Each of them yelled at you to get up because Santa brought so many presents overnight. Smiling at their excitement, you dragged yourself out of bed & went downstairs. The others were already there. Stopping for a short moment, you took everything in & processed the scene in front of you. This was all so new to you. Everybody had a big smile plastered on their face. Was this what you had missed all these years? JJ took your hand & dragged you over to where the others were already seated.
Presents started being exchanged, kids first, of course. Grabbing three small packages, you walked over to JJ & kneeled down to her. The twins were asleep but you planned on giving them their presents later today. You bought a small, soft blanket for each of them.
“There you go, princess. Merry Christmas.” JJ took her present from you & lost no time in unwrapping it. Her smile widened & she proudly held up the pink magic wand you got her. But there was more to this present.
“I got this when I was your age. Bill gave it to me because I always wanted to be a princess in a huge castle on a hill somewhere. I want you to have it, JJ. Take care of it.” she threw her hands around your neck & you pulled her closer. Danneel had tears in her eyes when she heard your story. Jensen wrapped an arm around her. He, too, was moved by what you told JJ. They did not expect you to give any of them any presents. Yet, you went out of your way.
“Tom? Shep?” their heads perked up when they heard their names being called. You each handed them a package, glad that they were too young to care about how neatly your wrapped them.
“Merry Christmas.” smiling when they started unwrapping their gifts, they let out excited squeals when they saw what you got them. They were the biggest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans. Tom got Leonardo & Michelangelo, Shep held Donatello & Raphael in his small hands. They thanked you again & again until you laughed at them, assuring that it was more than fine.
“Just, don’t argue over them, okay? You gotta share those.” they nodded at you & immediately started playing with the figures. Alright, at least the kids were happy with their gifts.
“Jared? Gen?” you eyed them nervously. “I-I know it’s not much but…Merry Christmas.” you handed them their gift, fiddling with your hands. Jared let Gen open it. A small picture frame revealed itself. You put a picture of the three of you inside. You took it in their backyard, all of you wearing the “Family Has Your Back” hoodie.
“This is more than enough.” Gen started.
“It’s perfect, (Y/N).” Jared finished & waited for you to make a move. If you were the one to initiate a hug, they would not decline. Their smiles got wider when you pulled them into a tight hug.
“Merry Christmas, guys. This is a thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you..” before you got too emotional, you handed them their package. It was a little bigger & therefore poorly wrapped. “Sorry about the wrapping paper. I suck at that.” you laughed uncomfortably. Danneel only brushed you off, telling you that it was just perfect. They both gasped when they saw what you gave them. You made a painting of the two of them in a pop-art style. Thinking it would fit perfectly in the house & all.
“We need to find the perfect place for it.” Danneel squealed to which Jensen nodded.
“Thank you, angel.” Jensen pulled you into a tight hug, one that Danneel joined a second later. “You have talent.” he added after releasing you. Blushing at his words, you simply thanked him. A while ago, you would have argued, telling him that you were not that good. But you had improved when it came to accepting compliments. The others kept exchanging gifts & you sat by, watching their excitement whenever another present got opened. Slowly, your mood shifted. Maybe you would not receive anything from them? After all, you were still new to the family. That was okay. Did not change you from being sad about it, though. Not wanting to show your disappointment, you kept a smile on your face.
“I believe there is one person left without any presents.” Jensen spoke up & you looked at him with your head tilted. They did not forget about you? There were still two packages left & he grabbed one, Jared took the other.
“Merry Christmas.” all of them said, even the kids joined in. Why were there already tears threatening to spill? Nothing had happened yet.
“That’s not your actual present. But we thought it was the perfect timing to give it to you today.” Jared put one neatly wrapped gift in your lap & when you saw all of them waiting for you expectantly, you went to open it. No way. Was that real?
“Seriously?” you were shocked when you took a closer look at it. “The script for the next Avengers?” they nodded at you.
“Came in a few days ago. I actually wanted to give it to you right away but Danneel had the idea of giving it to you for Christmas.” Jensen explained.
“Thank you! This is…wow.” no words could be formed. You had to read through it later, for sure.
“Here.” Danneel handed you the second gift. “That’s from all of us & from a few others.” sending you a wink, you were left confused. JJ, Tom & Shep sat themselves around you, not wanting to miss anything. Delicately, you unwrapped the present, only for it to reveal a small book. It read “SPN Family” on the cover. There was also a small anti-possession symbol pictured. You were confused but when you asked what it was, they simply told you to have a look at it. Opening the first page, you could not control the tears any longer.
“(Y/N),
this book is filled with letters, pictures & more. Not only will you find our names in there, you will see that almost everyone who’s part of our Supernatural crew has left you a little something behind until you’ll join us on set. Read through it whenever things get tough or whenever you need something to cheer you up. Don’t forget that we’re always here for you, no matter what. You’re family & we care for you.
Merry Christmas, angel”
Jumping up, you ran over & gave each of them a tight hug. You let the tears flow freely, no longer caring about showing your emotions in front of them. The kids dragged you back to the couch, wanting to show you what they contributed to the book. All of them drew a few pictures & you were in awe. That was more than you could have ever imagined.
“Thanks, really. I-I don’t even know what to say.” wiping away your tears, they knew that it was the right decision to get you this present. It almost did not get finished but they managed to get it done in time. And it was freaking worth it.
~to be continued~
Next Chapter (05/08/2021)
Published (05/01/2021) by Cathy
Tags: @vicmc624​, @imaginationisgrowth​, @stoneyggirl​, @alyispunk​, @thevelvetseries​, @multifandomlover121​, @samsgirl93​, @supernatural3002​, @diabetes-03, @prettyybubblesintheair, @originalsoulcollector​, @vir-tual, @bellero​, @sergantbuckybarnes​, @namelesslosers​ (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)
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Text
Out of The Woods
Loki x Reader
1989, chapter 4
"They loved each other recklessly"
Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even when you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark tower- and that's where our story begins.
Word count: 4,754
Warnings: some angst and fluff, some shade was thrown, mentions of violence.
A/N: this is one of my favourite songs ever. Again, I suggest listening to the song which I linked both on Spotify and YouTube right below. As always you can always ask to be added to the taglist!
A/N: the dividers were made by the lovely @chrissquares! Thank you @nacho-bucky for beta reading this!
No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.
Series masterlist
song on Spotify and YouTube
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It's been a while since you felt this way.
Even back then, it was rare that you woke up before him, but you always relished it. You could feel all of him, the comforting weight of him almost lulled you back to sleep. With his chest pressed against your back, and arm curled around you, it felt as if he was enveloping all of you. You didn't mind that. It was weird how easily you fell back into old patterns, but how could you not? The only time you ever felt this good was with him, you never knew this kind of thing exists before him, and you never saw it again after him. But here it was again.
You couldn't bring yourself to care that it won't last, not with the way he felt next to you.
Certainly not with the small feather like kisses you now felt being pressed against your neck, spreading goose bumps in their wake.
"What's on your mind, love?" you loved hearing his voice in the morning.
"Do you think it'll all be worth it?"
"We will find out with time." He made you believe that, he knew the effect he had on you.
He felt colder against you than you remembered, he was different.
"They won't like this, you know."
"Since when do you care about what other people think?" he lifted himself onto an elbow to look at you.
You were different too.
"I have a family now. So many things have changed, Loki." His hair was softer now, you smiled as you racked your fingers through his messy hair, it was your fault after all. "You changed too."
A lot has happened after he left you, he was grateful that he decided to leave you, it was the right thing to do even if it hurt you.
"I did, I suppose."
"I mean, after you- you left it was a good few years and then I saw you on TV in the battle of New York, and next thing I know you are here in the tower with me."
"Yes, a lot has happened." He dosed off in thought.
"What?"
"Nothing, darling, we should get up." He met your lips in a short kiss, smiling down at you.
"Fine, let's go." You grabbed the sheets and pulled it against you, searching for your clothes. You pulled yourself up from the bed when you didn't see find your shirt which you changed to last night, at least that was before your second round. "Hey Loki did you see my-"
Turning around he looked at you with a smirk, already dressed in new clothes. You totally forgot about his magic, he always did it.
"Panties? They are right here, but I'm afraid they are quite ruined." You wished you could wipe that smirk off his face.
"I was looking for my shirt, you asshole." He just held up his other hand and you grabbed your shirt, turning to go to your closet.
You missed him so much.
"Then you have to fold it again- no Loki," you giggled when you watched him try to copy your movements on this lazy afternoon you shared with him. "Fold it to the other side, the airplane needs to be identical on both sides so it could fly." Loki glared at you and you tried and failed to stop your giggles. But when you weren't looking at him, he couldn't help but smile at you.
"I don't know why you call this paper thing an airplane, it doesn't look like those machines you showed me pictures of." He looked at your perfectly crafted paper and scoffed when he saw his.
"Because these paper airplanes can fly, look" you waited for him to finish his one before throwing yours. He watched your proud expression when it flew around for a couple of seconds before it fell on the floor and you went to fetch it. "Try to do it with yours."
Loki concentrated with furrowed eyebrows as he copied your movements and watched as his work flew for a second before it crash landed on your couch.
"That was great!"
"That was pathetic!"
"We can try again." You fixed his airplane and gave it to him.
"Or, we can do this my way." He smiled at you mischievously and told you to throw it at three."
"One, two, three!" when you released your plane, your watched in wonder as Loki worked his magic on it. Your two paper airplanes were flying throughout the living room together. You caught him staring at you when you looked back at him. Smiling, you leaned over the table to connect his lips to yours in a short kiss. "Isn't my way much better?"
You wanted to wipe that stupid smirk off of his face, so you brought him in for another kiss as the paper airplanes kept flying around the room.
"You can tell yourself whatever you want Tony, you are not a good cook." you coughed at the smoke that filled up the kitchen. Natasha was fanning herself with a towel.
"Well at least I am trying to cook! I was going to make something nice for our Asgardian guests." You almost laughed at him pointing a pan at Natasha with an apron on, but that comment died on your throat. "Where did you disappear to last night?"
"What?" you stood next to the open window, getting some fresh air.
"One minute you were with me and the next you walked away and disappeared. Wait-" she paused and tilted her head. "Did you go home with someone?"
Sam whistled from the door.
"Y/N go get some!" he raised a hand to high five you but you only glared at him.
"I got tired of the party, so what if I did?"
"That guy from IT who has a crush on you will be very disappointed."
"Who the hell has a crush on me?" with the smoke out you finally got your eggs and toast for breakfast, snatching the one that wasn't burnt.
"Mike? You know that guy who was talking to you last night?"
"What? No way, he was just making conversation and he was talking to you too." You scrunched your nose.
"Are you doubting my spy skills?"
"Yep, but either way it's not my fault if he's upset it's his problem." You shrugged, biting into your food.
"So you actually were with a guy." You looked up mid bite.
"You bitch."
"Language, the captain is here."
"What's going on?"
"Nothing, Steve."
"Y/N met a guy."
"You what now?" he crossed his arms and looked at you. "Who is he?"
"No one, can we just move on? We have a briefing soon with the asgardians you're making so-called food for, so just eat up and shut up."
Natasha only shrugged at Steve's raised eyebrow.
"Brother, where did you go to last night? I found Tony but I couldn't find you after we split up." Thor spoke to his brother as they walked through the corridors of the Avengers Tower.
"I went to the lab, parties are not my thing, neither are your midgardian friends." Thor shook his head.
"They are really nice Loki, especially Y/N." Loki faltered in his step at her mention. It did not go unnoticed by Thor.
"Why are you so insisted on talking about her? I told you already that we are not-"
"Loki, despite everything that happened I still know you, just a little bit." He put a hand on Loki's shoulder, stopping in the middle of the hall. "I just want to tell you to be careful with her. Her friends here, and especially Steve- he will not react to it well."
"So I should just bow down to that?" Loki looked up at Thor, anger flashed in his eyes.
Shrugging Thor's hand off, he went into the room where the avenger's were sitting around a table. In the front stood Tony, waiting for the two asgardians to arrive, while he snacked.
And then Loki saw you, you sat right at the head of the table just across from him, catching his eye and then looking down when you started to feel your face heat up. Wanda smiled slightly beside you.
"Okay, now that we are all here, tell them what you started telling me yesterday. Thanks for not showing up Horny head, Thor couldn't tell me everything without you."
Thor chuckled and held Loki back.
"There were weapons that were stolen from the Asgard royal vaults. We still don't know how they managed to get to Asgard or even get into the vaults in the palace. Loki knows more about what was stolen, go ahead brother."
"Very well, the weapons that were stolen are very ancient and very dangerous. One of them is Laevateinn, my old wand-"
"You had a wand?" Pietro laughed from the corner, you kept your wide eyes on Loki. He told you about it several times and this wasn't good.
"What else was stolen?" you leaned forward now, but Loki had a hard time meeting your gaze as he looked back at Thor as if they had a silent conversation. "Loki?"
Steve turned his head to you, surprised at your tone. He was even more surprised when Loki met your eyes and kept them on you as he obeyed your request.
"It's called the Skofnung."
It has been an hour, and it was safe to say that everyone in the room was on their toes, tense.
"You said you kept an enchantment on it! You said you hid it, how the hell did they get to your wand?" you were standing up, yelling at Loki in frustration.
"I did do that! But after I was away for a long time, the spell around it weakened and my stupid father thought it would be safer to put it in the vaults alongside all the other things!" he countered back.
"Hey Loki, do not talk about our father like that."
"Oh come on Thor, he is stupid don't deny it." You were so frustrated that you didn't even care anymore, you could feel Steve's gaze burning into your skin as he stood beside you.
"And how would you know that?" he asked you then, and before you could think you replied on instinct.
"Because he always treated Loki like a-" you realized your mistake when you saw a shift in his eyes, and the room went quiet as the spies and geniuses caught on.
You hated that between all the anger in his eyes, you saw betrayal there too.
Loki leaned against the wall and watched the scene in front of him unraveling.
"So, it's him? Is that why you weren't telling us anything?" Steve got angrier by the second and you didn't dare look around to see the others' responses. "You two were-"
"Okay, Steve calm down now." You were thankful for Wanda but Steve only shot her down.
"No, I want to hear what she has to say. Did you lie to us about anything else?"
"I didn't lie to you Steve! I was just trying to-"
"No but you did lie to me, you are involved with the psychotic guy who terrorized earth!" he pointed to Loki then, but you knew that if you looked at Loki you'll break down.
"Steve, maybe we should slow down from the accusations." Sam put a hand on his shoulder but he didn't let down.
"Yes, Steve I was with him, and I didn't tell you because I was scared of this exact reaction! This is what I tried to prevent!"
Loki was ready to fight the captain for making you feel this way.
"You can't be with him Y/N! He is not good for you! You don't know all of the things that he did!"
"Captain, if you have any anger let it out on me, not her." Loki spoke up and walked forward in the room.
"Oh I assure you, I will." He sent daggers at Loki before looking back at you, at this point your eyes were teary. "Y/N you will stay away from him."
"Enough!" your eyes flashed at him and the room glowed in purple before it all went quiet. Wanda looked at her friends' dazed eyes and she was about to go to you when Bucky beat her do it.
"Doll, you can't keep him like this forever, he will still fight. We both know that." He and Wanda moved through their friends to get to you as you went to the door.
"Darling what did you do?" he stopped you when you grabbed him to go away.
"I just needed it to stop." You turned to Bucky and Wanda. "They are fine, I just sent them to calm down, it'll wear off once I'm up in my room. Please just calm them down, I can't bear him being mad at me."
They nodded at you. After that you grabbed Loki and left to go up to your room. It was silent.
"You shouldn't have done that." Loki looked down at you with concern.
"He didn't stop. Do you see now why I didn't want them to know?" you crossed your arms, but your demeanor soon fell and he was ready for you when you rested your head on his chest.
"I understand. I didn't realize you were that close."
"They are my family Loki, I may didn't have one when we were together but now I do," you looked up at him. "And I care about them."
Loki locked the door to your room in a green flash when you went inside.
"Come lie with me?"
"It's midday my darling." You only hummed in response and got on the bed. With the begging look you gave him he had to oblige.
Getting in the bed, you laid your head on his chest and he traced invisible patterns on your exposed skin. His other hand playing with your hair, he couldn't help but drift off into his memories.
"Do you want me to go punch him? You know I would." He kept silent and just took your hand until you got on the bed with him. "Or maybe I could go your style and stab him. Lightly."
"I just want to forget about that." You nodded and laid back. You let him lay his head on your chest. You wrapped your arms around him, as if you could protect him from the world. "He is my dad too, I don't understand why he always listens to Thor and not me."
"As I said, I'd gladly punch him for you. I don't care if he is a king."
"Thor's coronation will arrive soon enough. I don't think he'll ever realize that I could be king too." You had to hold back your anger at his so called family, you had to hold it back because now all he needed was a warm place, which he always found with you. He stayed quiet, playing gently with the necklace hanging from your neck, which he gave you all those months ago.
If he could, he'd stay here with you until the end of eternity. He would stay home.
"Rest now, my love, I'll be here when you wake up."
You woke up to Loki. He turned his head to you and gave you a light kiss to the crown of your head.
"How long was I asleep?" you stretched a bit before falling back onto Loki.
He was still here.
"About an hour, do you want me to get you some food?"
"No." you shook your head at him, he was scared of the glint in your eye. "I'll go get it myself."
"Darling, do not ignite this fire for nothing." He knew it was futile, once you set your mind on something there was nothing to do.
"I don't care, they'll deal with it. I need you now. I tried to do it quietly but they just won't listen so I'm just going to do it like you would. A big 'fuck you' to them."
"Maybe consider at least-"
"We both know I am stubborn, so you are going to come with me and we are going to get food." He remembered you being feisty but not to this level, you grabbed his arm and walked out of the door.
It could be over a week from now, but right now you just needed him with you, and they needed to realize that.
"Well then, let's do this properly." Loki smirked when he stopped you, and you matched him when he put his arms around you, and in the next second you were just outside of the kitchen.
The Avengers in the living room stilled at your sudden appearance. Steve was nowhere in sight, neither was Bucky.
"I'm going to get us food, stay here." You gave him a playful peck on the lips and went to the kitchen.
Natasha joined you a moment after.
"What are you doing?" she leaned on the wall when you pulled out some leftover pizza.
"Heating up some pizza, do you want some?"
"You know that's not what I asked," you turned your back to her, walking to the microwave. "Why him? He is not-"
"How would you know if he is not right for me? You don't know me, or him." You turned back to her, furious. You were surprised to see the momentary offended look in her eyes.
"Do you know him? He changed. There are things that you don't know, that we do."
"I know him better than all of you, even better than Thor. I know enough about him to know who he is and who he is not." Scoffing, you got out the slices of pizza.
"It's been a while since you saw him last, and by the looks of it he hurt you pretty badly, a lot has changed for both him and you."
"Do you really think I don't know that?"
"I'm just saying, Y/N, how do you know he won't hurt you again?" you took the plates to the table.
"I don't."
"I'm just looking out for you. So does he."
She didn't have to specify, you had no clue what you were going to do with him.
"You are practically a mini Steve at times, always so stubborn." She left you at that.
Loki was outside of the kitchen, just around the corner in the common room he stood with a sly smirk when some of the Avengers were in edge when he sat.
He decided to use the opportunity to study them, when one caught his eye. The scarlet witch. He hadn't met her before, yet she seemed to have a certain connection to you, she was unaffected by the commotion earlier that day.
She returned his gaze and he was suddenly affected by a weird daze. She was in his mind.
Raising a brow at her, he let her try to find something, he was stronger. He felt something crack in his mind and he could see it clear as day.
Thor and his friends were talking in the bar, drinking as usual, when he felt an urge to go back to your arms, longing to just sit with you and watch one of those silly shows you love so much.
He quickly excused himself and as fast as he could, he evaded all the eyes so he could get to Midgard the fastest.
He stood in the middle of your living room, not wanting to scare you (again). It took him a second to get his bearing when he realized the scene in front of him. Two men in dark outfits were there, when they turned he knew they were no ordinary men. And they were clearly not wanted here.
On instinct and fear he pulled out two daggers and stabbed them both in the necks before they could retaliate. When he was sure they were down, he sent them somewhere far away. His eyes frantically looked around for you. Only then when it was silent he could hear your short breaths and whimpers.
"Y/N? My love?" he went towards the bathroom which was locked, not missing a beat he got inside and saw you crying and scared on the corner, holding a hair straightener as a weapon.
"Loki?" you lowered the weapon and Loki crouched down beside you, taking your shaking body in his arms.
"Oh my love, I'm here. Don't worry, I'm here." He held you close as you let out sobs until you calmed down and your breathing went back to normal.
"I heard voices and I hid here but I didn't have my phone with me, I forgot it. They would've found me and I couldn't call for anyone, Loki." He only hushed down your panicked voice.
"I promise no harm will ever come to you when you have me, I'll always be here." He picked you up and took you to bed, spreading endless kisses all over your face.
You were curled on top of him until you fell asleep safe and sound. Once Loki was sure you were sleeping, he started chanting. He was going to make sure you were protected when he wasn't around. He put up wards around your apartment with the oldest and strongest spell he knew. By the end of it he was tired, but it was all worth it for you. Anything was worth it.
He had never felt such fear.
It was hard to keep his strong demeanor up after the triggered memory. Looking at the witch all he saw was a surprised look, he had clearly underestimated her abilities. It won't happen again.
He heard your footsteps and was eager to get out and away from the witch when the elevator doors opened and there the Captain stood, alongside the Sergeant and the Falcon.
The blue eyes were trained on him. Then they moved to a figure behind him.
The falcon put a hand on his shoulder. Steve let out a chuckle when Loki went up and stood next to you.
"The literal cold blooded killer? Are you sure about your choice here, kid?" his jaw was set, but his eyes showed more.
"He's here to help you. And yes." You took Loki's hand and kept contact with Steve.
You barely heard Bucky mutter under his breath.
"Aren't everyone in this room killers, Captain?" Loki challenged.
"Some of us have an actual reason, not an excuse." He countered.
"Steve, maybe we should let it go for now" Bucky whispered to Steve and the two of you walked back to the kitchen for your ready meal. Said meal being pizza.
"An excuse," you scoffed. "You did something bad yes, but you're not making excuses for it, you don't have an excuse for it you are just redeeming yourself and getting better. You are just setting things right."
You whispered the last part, but it didn't matter because you drifted off into your head, not noticing Loki's quiet demeanor.
That night, Loki lay with you in your bed wide awake as you drifted asleep next to him.
The events of the day stuck to him, the memory lingered in his mind as if it happened just mere hours ago, the strike of fear. He did not think about that day often, but he knew exactly where the witch took it from.
He stood in the middle of your apartment; you still weren't home, so he decided to walk around the place that held so many memories of him and you. The first time you invited him over; your first kiss; the first time he told you about his powers; the first I love you. But to every first time there is also a last.
He hid the numerous cuts he had. You'd probably fuss about how he would need 20 stitches before taking care of him.
It was well into the night now here on Midgard when you walked through the door. A big smile adorned your face when you saw Loki. Putting your bags down, you quickly locked the door and ran up to hug him. He held himself back from the itch to hold you and hug you. You pulled back then, looking at Loki who had a stoic look in his eyes.
"Loki, what's wrong?" the longer he looked at you, the more it started to hurt him. You weakened him.
"I'm going back to Asgard. And I will not come back to Midgard." You stepped away. One hand wrapped around your waist as the other clutched the necklace on your neck. He felt the tears brimming in his eyes at your hurt look. He could hide his tears, he knew you couldn't hide yours, but he had to go through with this.
"What? Loki, what do you mean?"
It was a hard talk. Both of you were hurt but only one showed it.
He had to do this. He had to be the one to walk out and set you free.
You woke up with a gasp, taking in your surroundings you were glad to see Loki was still asleep. Getting up, you decided to get some fresh air and went up to the roof.
The cold breeze hit the bare skin of your arms and suddenly you regretted not having taken a blanket with you. The city looked so calm when you looked at this from this height, so clean and collected. Then again, you knew it was because of the height, everything was uglier up close.
Leaning in on the railway, you looked out and tried to clear your mind.
"Cold?" you turned around surprised to find Steve there, getting up from where he sat.
"Were you there the whole time?" he nodded to you and you didn't complain when he put on you his big sweatshirt. You certainly didn't complain about the warmness it brought you.
You kept staring forward when he leaned on the railway next to you.
"You know I'm more stubborn than you, right?" you scoffed at that.
"No you're not!"
"Ask Bucky, he will tell you."
"Bucky knows I am just as stubborn as you." He shook his head fondly at you, then his face fell a bit when he looked at you.
"What are you doing, kid?" Steve turned to look at you. "He is bad news, you are smarter than that."
"I am smarter than that, I am smarter than to judge someone you don't know. I know Loki better than all of you do!" you turned to him, crossing your arms, still holding the sweatshirt close to you.
"How do you know him that way? You said you haven't seen him in years. Maybe he wasn't a mass murderer back then but he is now." You could tell he was getting angrier trying to get you to understand him. People kept saying that you are Steve's daughter, so you are not one to back down.
"He did bad things yes but he changed, now he is here to help us and fix things!" you stomped your foot in the ground.
"He is here because of the Asgardian weapons, he is not here for you Y/N! wake up, he will only hurt you!"
"He is still here, with me!" you felt the angry tears brimming.
"How can you still love him? That creature that he is!"
"Don't call him that!"
"But he-"
"No! you can't judge me for loving him!"
"It's wrong Y/N, he is not good for you, I won't allow it." He yelled again in his captain voice and you have had enough. Apparently he did too.
"Steve you can't judge me!" he was walking away from you and from the conversation before you yelled at him and he faltered. "You only knew Peggy for a short period of time and yet you still felt so much for her even when you weren't together. And even after you woke up and managed to find her! I knew Loki for way longer than that and I loved him for more, so you can't blame me for still loving him today and going back to him!"
The heat of the moment didn't let you apologize for what you said, but when he walked out of your view only then did you realize what you said and you wished you could take it back.
You didn't want to hurt him like this.
Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love
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mrsalwayswrite · 3 years
Text
To Call Forth Love - Chapter 6
Haha, I’m so excited for this chapter. Please let me know what y’all think! Also a huge thank you to everyone who has liked/commented/reblogged. You guys deserve all the love and cookies possible! 
Warnings: swearing, fluff (i think that’s it, sorry if i miss something)
Words: 7300 (i feel like my chapters keep getting longer. oops?)
Tag List: @heavenly1927 @youbloodymadgenius @zuxiezendler @punkrocknpearls​
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The aroma of coffee surrounded Kari like a warm, comforting blanket. The café was just the perfect amount of busy, there were a few other tables occupied but without feeling cramped or overwhelming. The lunch rush was just beginning, indicated by the number of patrons standing in line to order now. 
 The brunette sipped on her latte as she slowly swiped through the pictures on Gyda's phone. The two were finally meeting up for an early lunch and coffee after a yoga class. Gyda had been gushing about the trip she just returned from to Phnom Penh, telling stories of the week she spent there and letting Kari slide through the pictures on her phone. 
 "These are just gorgeous. Gods, you have the best job, I swear."
 Gyda laughed, picking at the muffin in front of her. "I know. I can't imagine doing anything else though."
 "When do you leave again?"
 "Mmmm…. I’m not sure yet. The company is wanting me to go to Vancouver, British Columbia next. I might wait until the end of September to go. I'm not sure. Either way, it won't be for at least a month. Depends on how soon I want to go visit mom."
 "Why wouldn't you want to go soon?" Kari perked up at the mention of Gyda's mother. She knew the two were close, but all she really knew about Lagertha was from what Ivar told her.
 "I'm not a fan of her new boyfriend. Sorry, she prefers the term "lover". Kalf works for her, specifically with contacts from their Mediterranean partners and overseeing some of the shipments."
 "Why don't you like him?" She swiped to the next image, a stunning picture of the Cambodian royal palace. 
 The blonde waved her hand vaguely, as if swatting a fly. "He hasn't done anything; I just don't like him."
 "That's fair. Does he treat your mom well?"
 "Yeah. She just has shit luck with men and I'm worried how this one will turn out." She sipped on her coffee, gazing out the nearby window for a moment. 
 Kari turned back to the phone, guessing there was more that Gyda was not saying. Not that she needed to know. No, she had enough drama in her life currently and his name was Ivar. 
 Both women lounged in the wooden café chairs, still in their yoga clothes, having come straight from the studio. Except Gyda changed her footwear, losing the sandals for a pair of wedge heels that made her long legs look like skyscrapers. It was hard not to envy Gyda's body, and Torvi for that matter. They both had the perfect hourglass figure, with all the right assets and gorgeously braided, blonde hair. Maybe it was some standard that women around the Lothbroks had perfect bodies. It made Kari wonder why Ivar paid her any attention then. Her body was far from perfect. Her chest side was decent, but she always thought her hips and thighs were too large. Most likely leftover critiques from her mother who not-so-lovingly would say Kari was pear-shaped and needed to focus on losing all that extra or no man would want her. Not that she was trying to get a man. Over the past two years she had finally come to embrace her body and was learning to be comfortable in her own skin. Though some days were better than others. It was still difficult to watch Gyda receive appreciative looks from many of the patrons as they passed by their table and know none of them would even give her a second glance. The blonde was effortlessly beautiful. Perhaps there was a way for her to teach Kari that. 
 Suddenly Gyda zeroed in on the brunette with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "Speaking about men…."
 "Are you going on a date?" 
 Gyda snorted, with an amused grin on her face. "Hell no. I'm not interested in a relationship right now. I am perfectly fine being single. Stop changing the subject. There is a little something going around the Lothbrok rumor mill that Ivar took you on a date to Casa mia, Maggiore."
 "Not a date, it was just as friends." Kari clarified. 
 She gave her an incredulous look. "Just friends?"
 "Yes."
 Gyda narrowed her eyes at her. 
 "What? We went out to Casa mia, Maggiore and then I convinced him to go to Masterpiece. After he dropped me back off at home. Nothing happened."
 "Right…." Gyda hummed. "So, it was a date."
 Kari dropped her face into her hands with a groan. "Not a date. Just friends."
 "Whatever you say. Just know Ivar doesn't take just anyone to his favorite restaurant. Hell, I think he only took his ex there once in the ten months they were dating. He usually only goes with Aslaug."
 "Oh? Um, I didn't know…" The brunette hated how she perked up at this new information. It should not matter hearing that he never took anyone, that it really was his favorite restaurant and he wanted to share it with her. In their texting, he made reference to when they went back, what food he wanted her to try next. Something apparently, he was not even inclined to do with an ex. No, none of that should matter. But it did, and the way her heart swelled at the realization only proved that to her. 
 "Clearly he really likes you to take you there. Do you like him?"
 "Sure, he's a good friend."
 Gyda sighed dramatically, tipping her head back. "You're killing me, Kari! Fine! When was this not-date? A week ago?"
 "Eight days, yeah."
 "Have you hung out since then?"
 "Yeah, he picked me up once and we went out for dinner. Another time, he took me out on my lunch break. He had to go on a business trip so I haven't seen him in…. three days?"
 "Right. I'm guessing he's blowing up your phone while he's been gone?"
 Kari took a sip of her drink as she mumbled, "sort of." The truth was they were practically texting non-stop. It was mostly discussions, and arguments on his side, of superficial things like TV shows, the proper time to wake up in the morning and her lack of clothing that was more than yoga attire. Other times they sent memes back and forth or links to funny YouTube clips. Kari never realized how lonely she was before Ivar thrust himself into her life with all the force and subtlety of a rocket. 
 "What does that mean?" Gyda eyed her for a long moment before she gasped and slapped the table. "Oh shit! Is he sending you dick pics?"
 Kari choked on air. After hacking for a couple of seconds, tears coming to her eyes because of the action, she vigorously shook her head. "No! No! Ewww....no! We keep sending stupid memes to each other and talking about where we should go out next. That's it. I promise."
 The blonde laughed loudly at Kari's reaction, who fiddled with her earring, face burning with embarrassment. The two sat quietly for a couple of minutes, sipping their drinks and watching the line of lunch patrons increase. 
 "So…. it kind of sounds like you're dating."
 "No, we're just friends. Why can't friends just hang out?" Kari tried to argue. The beginning tendrils of annoyance creeping in at constantly having to defend their friendship. 
 Gyda stared at her. "Have you made-out?"
 A blush colored Kari's cheeks before she could figure out a good enough lie, giving away the truth. 
 "What?! How often?!" Her enthusiastic friend cried, before waving her hand once again. "Never mind. Listen, he's taking you out to his favorite restaurant. He is clearly going out of his way to spend time with you. He is texting you! You don't realize how big of a deal this is for him! He generally hates people. I'm positive he has murder plans for most of those he is forced to be around. Does he know you're just friends? Because to me, it doesn't sound like it."
 Kari covered her face with her hands, tears of frustration springing to her eyes. Ivar and her could only be friends, that was what she promised herself. If he knew her, the real her…. it would never happen. He would never want her. So it was best to remain friends, to protect both of them from the inevitability that anything more would never happen. Even though their line of friendship was blurring…. and that was the worst part. She found herself wishing to continue to blur that line, even when she knew it would only end in disaster. Taking a deep breath, she could smell his cologne, a scent she had become so used to now. Her mind could easily conjure the feeling of being in his arms, his mouth on hers as she gave in under his touch. She cared for him, deep down she knew more than a friend. Although he could annoy her to no end, she enjoyed his presence, his humor, that vulnerable side that peeked out occasionally, how he made her feel safe and beautiful. 
 Now hearing Gyda pointedly telling her that Ivar was treating her as more than a friend. It left her speechless and wondering if she was making a mistake. 
 Gyda’s tone softened when she spoke next. "Why are you so set on just friends?"
 "I just…. I don't want to date right now. After my last relationship, I just want to focus on myself."
 "That's fair but listen, he isn't going to wait around for you forever."
 "I know. I don't want him too." She admitted, tugging on her earring. Though her statement was the truth, it still tasted bitter on her tongue. 
 "Ok, but does he know that? It sounds like he’s set on you, but I'm going to warn you. Don't break his heart. He isn't the type to recover from heartbreak. His heart is already locked up more securely than Fort Knox but if you break it…."
 "I promise, that isn't my intent. I just…. can't. I like him, more than I thought I would. He is funny and charming and sweet but also infuriating and demanding and I've had more fun with him than I've ever had with a guy friend before. He…. I can be myself around him and I think he can too. But I just…. It can't go further than friendship."
 Gyda mulled over her words. "Alright. I don't fully understand but I get it. It's nice to hear that he's connecting with someone. None of us liked his ex. He only really spends time with family or Floki."
 "I don't want to hurt him." Kari whispered. 
 "I know. You're too sweet to purposefully do something like that." The blonde tilted her head to the side with a slowly growing smug look. "I give it until the end of the year and you'll be naked in his bed."
 "Gods! What? Why would you say that?"
 "He's a Lothbrok. They always get what they want."
 *****
 Kari laid curled up on her full-size bed, her laptop up and watching Downton Abbey. A heating pad rested on her abdomen as she waited for the pain relievers to kick in. Most of her life she was happy with, but the one thing she would easily trade out would be the painful cramps when PMSing. The birth control she took helped out, but there was usually still one day that the dreaded cramps hit hard. 
 Her phone dinged. Languidly reaching over, she grabbed it from beside her pillow and opened it to check the text. 
 Ivar: wat r u doin?
 He texted her earlier that day saying he was returning home from his sudden business trip. 
 Kari: nothing
 Ivar: good. bts. 
 She groaned, slamming her face into her pillow. She did not have the energy to deal with him right now. All she wanted was to relax and eat her body weight in chocolate. After a moment of self-pity, she texted him back, hoping she could get out of whatever he had planned already. 
 Kari: no, I don't feel good.
 Ivar: wat wrong?
 Kari: nothing bad.  
 Sure, they had been talking daily for over a week but that did not mean she wanted to divulge her period issues to him. There were a few things she knew and one was that guys did not like talking about the menstrual cycle. 
 When he did not text back right away, she turned her attention back to her laptop and the TV show playing. Soon enough the magic of pain relievers and hot pads kicked in and her pain was minimal, though she had no intentions of leaving her warm cocoon. Alana was at her night class, so Kari was home alone. Not unusual really, but tonight she certainly felt the urge to lay around and do nothing. 
 After about twenty minutes, she heard a loud knock on her front door. Alana was not home, so it could not be any of her friends. Her neighbor, Erik, never just showed up. He always made sure to text before coming to her door. Maybe there was some kind of emergency? Or a package being dropped off? Though at this time it was certainly getting late for any kind of deliveries. Then it hit her. 
 Ivar. 
 "Ughhhh," she groaned, rolling out of her bed. For a split second she contemplated not answering it, just staying in her warm bed. She knew, though, if she did not get it, he would probably bust the door down. Maybe even set it on fire to make a point. He seemed like the type to light things on fire for fun. 
 As soon as she opened the front door, those intense blue eyes scanned over her body as if looking for some unseen disease. "What's wrong with you?" He barked at her, one hand still on the doorframe.
 "What?" She blinked owlishly. 
 "You said you don't feel good." He gestured towards her, his gaze still searching. "What's wrong?"
 "Um, it's nothing. Just cramps. It's better now."
 "You sure? It's nothing worse?"
 She was touched by his concern, the way his last questions were said in a breath of relief as if actually worried about her health. "Yeah, happens every month. I'm fine."
 "Ok, good. Get changed, Hvitty and I are going to see a movie. I want you to come with us."
 "Ivar, you should hang out with your brother…."
 "I fucking live with him. He's fine with it. Go change."
 She sighed, knowing by now there was no way she was making it back to her warm cocoon and Downton Abbey. Besides, she had missed him while he was gone and found herself wanting to spend time with him. Not that she wanted him to know that, it would only inflate his ego. "I'll only agree to come with you on two conditions."
 "Fucking what?" He growled, though she could see the amusement in his eyes. 
 "First, I'm wearing my comfy clothes." She waved her hand at the pair of soft, black leggings she wore and the thin, slouchy sweater with the word 'beautiful' printed on it. "Second, and this is the most important condition, you have to buy me a stupid amount of chocolate."
 He rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged on his lips. "If that's all, princess…."
 "Oh, give me a minute. I'll think of something else… and it's not princess. It's m'lady."
 "Shut up. Get your shit. I'll meet you at the car."
 She laughed as she raced up to her room to grab her purse, not even bothering to change out of her clothes. The only addition was to throw on a zip up jacket that was a size too big on her. She always found movie theaters too cold to be fully comfortable without a jacket. 
 The vehicle waiting for her this time was a luxury SUV. She stopped for a moment in the driveway, unsure what to do. She wondered what the neighbors would think of her getting picked up in this and how many knew Lothbroks were sitting in it. Hopefully no one was paying attention. The one of the back doors opened so she headed that way. Ivar slid over and she followed him into the vehicle, closing the door behind her. 
 "Took you fucking long enough, m'lady."
 She smirked at the nickname. "Well, you did just show up at my door and told me we were going to see a movie. At least the other times you gave me a heads up to be ready."
 "Ivar, you said you text her we were coming." A man she had not noticed said. He sat across on the bench seat facing them, watching her curiously. It was now Kari noticed how both Ivar and the guy were dressed casually, both in jeans and t-shirts, though Ivar had a light jacket on also. 
 "She said she wasn't doing anything." 
 The flaxen-haired man sighed, before reaching his hand out. "Hi, I'm Hvitserk. This idiot's older brother."
 "It's nice to meet you. I'm Kari." She took his hand, but instead of shaking it like she expected, he turned it over and pressed a lingering kiss to the back of her hand. When he released it, he gave her a quick, flirty wink and leaned back in his seat. 
 Startled by his bold action, she looked at Ivar, unsure how to respond. What was with these Lothbroks and their unabashed flirting? 
 He had his eyes narrowed at his brother, teeth practically grinding. "Fucking touch her again." He snarled. 
 Hvitserk chuckled, a smug look on his boyish face. "Relax, brother. I know you don't share…. even if you're just friends." Either he was purposefully antagonizing his younger brother or did not notice the anger seething off of him. 
 Ivar started to lean forward but Kari wrapped her arms around his, pulling him into her. She was not about to watch a fight go down between the two. "Didn't you just get back from your trip? I thought you'd be home resting." She quickly asked, trying to distract. 
 After a long moment of the brothers staring at each other, Ivar with a glare and Hvitserk looking amused, the raven-haired brother leaned back. He turned his head to look at her as he answered. "You said you wanted to see me earlier, and going to see a movie isn't strenuous."
 "Everything involving you is strenuous."
 As soon as she muttered the words, she wished she could take them back. 
 A devilish grin spread across his face, those blue eyes dancing with something mischievous and forbidden. "I can show you strenuous." He shifted to hover over her, lips dangerously close to hers. "All. Night. Long." He whispered, one hand leaving a trail of fire as it slid from her thigh up to the curve of her breast. A shiver ran down her spine at the low, hungry tone and the naked want in his gaze. "You'll be begging for more of me…. to destroy that pussy and leave you completely undone and hoarse from screaming my name." His tongue flicked at her earlobe, a choked gasp leaving her mouth at the sensation. Her eyes fluttered shut on their own accord, the knot in her core tightening painfully. She both hated and loved what his touch did to her, how it gave her a taste of pleasure otherwise unknown. His nose traced her jawline as he spoke again, tone filthy, making her core ache. "You'd like that, wouldn't you, kattungen?"
 She gulped, her voice coming out far more timid and needy than she wanted. "That's...um, that's nice." 
 Hvitserk's laughter broke the smoldering tension. Her blue-green eyes blinked rapidly as if wakening from a dream, darting to stare at the older brother before returning to the one who still lingered over her, his presence alone keeping her pinned to her seat. 
 "En dag, søte Kari, blir du min." Ivar whispered into her ear, then kissed her temple tenderly. After he leaned back, legs splayed out and arms across the back of the seat. A rapid conversation in that foreign language started, Hvitserk saying something that had Ivar snarking back and rolling his eyes. 
 The whole time, Kari focused on slowing down her breathing and trying to tamper down the warmth radiating from her core. There was no denying it, Ivar did something to her on a primal level. Her body wanted him. Even her mind wanted him. When he directed that sensual, seductive side at her, she melted like an ice cube in June. Her panties were testimony to that. Thankfully, he did not turn that powerful ability onto her frequently. She doubted they would remain 'just friends' for long if he did. 
 Suddenly, Ivar tugged on the sleeve of her fleece jacket, drawing her from her thoughts. "What is that?"
 "Um… a jacket?"
 He hummed then glanced over at his brother. "Sigurd had the same one, doesn't he, Hvitty?"
 "I think so." Hvitserk ran a hand over his braids, a smile on his lips. "Didn't you set it on fire?"
 Ivar waved off the question, still scrutinizing her jacket.  "Whose is it?"
 "Mine now." She replied, wondering what he was getting at. 
 "Whose was it?"
 "A guy friend. He lent it to me years ago and I never gave it back."
 "He's in England?"
 "Yeah…"
 He grunted, rubbing a hand over his mouth for a moment. "Take it off."
 "Wha…. what?" She sputtered. 
 "Take it off. I don't want you wearing another guy's clothes."
 "Ivar, this is stupid. Plus, I always get cold in movie theaters. That's why I brought it in the first place."
 With a deep scowl, he tugged off his own gray, soft shell jacket. When he saw she was not moving, he tugged on her sleeve roughly. She huffed but gave in, not willing to fight him over something so childish. She slipped the fleece jacket off and placed it in her lap. Before she could stop him, Ivar snatched the jacket out of her lap and threw it on the seat to his other side. He dropped his jacket in her lap then leaned back, watching her with a serious expression. This was one of those times she wondered why she put up with him. Who cared where the origins of her clothes came from? It was comfy. Sure, it had some sentimental value but it was a nice, warm jacket. 
 Quickly, she slipped his gray jacket on…. and was immediately hit with his scent. A salacious side of her wondered if he would let her keep it. He always smelled incredible and having his jacket now wrapped around her, enveloping her in that…. her libido definitely woke up, begging for attention. Especially after the tease he just bestowed upon her.  
 "Happy?" She asked flippantly, smoothing the gray jacket down over her and trying not to be obvious with her sniffing it. 
 He grinned. "You look better in my clothes."
 "Ugh. Is he always like this?" She turned to Hvitserk.  
 "I wouldn't know. He's never asked me to take my clothes off. But if you did, I'd happily oblige." He playfully winked at her. 
 She groaned. "You both are unbelievable. No wonder you're brothers." She looked at Ivar beside her. "Can I have my jacket back?"
 He raised a single eyebrow as if surprised by her question. After a second of mutual staring, he slid over and opened the window, maintaining pointed eye contact the whole time. Before she could process what he was going to do, he balled up her jacket and threw it out the open window. Without a word, he rolled the window back up and slid over to her side again. 
 "What jacket?" He questioned impishly. 
 She stared open-mouthed at him. "Was…. was that really necessary? Gods! Why did you do that?" 
 "I don't want you wearing another guy's clothes." He shrugged. "If it's that big of a problem, I'll buy you some new clothes."
 "That's not…. that's not the point! You can't just get rid of something of mine without my permission!"
 "But it wasn't yours, it was some guy friend's."
 She covered my face with her hands. Why should she expect anything different from Ivar? He had a vendetta against her clothes. With a sigh, she scooted away from him. "I feel like we need to make a list of things that are not ok for you to do."
 "I'm not following some fucking list."
 "Alright, I'll stop wearing clothes that belong to someone else if you promise not to throw away my clothes without my permission."
 He yanked on her arm until she was at his side again, despite her half-hearted attempt for space. "You can wear my clothes anytime, especially if I can take them off of you."
 "Ivar, I'm serious."
 He nuzzled the crook of her neck, making her squirm. Sweetly, he pressed a kiss to her neck before leaning back. "Fine." He muttered, tucking her into his side. 
 She glanced over at Hvitserk, having momentarily forgotten his presence. A broad smile covered his face, highlighting his handsome features. 
 "I like her." He declared, meeting his brother's eye with a nod. Next he looked at her, cocking his head to the side. "What are you doing with his sorry ass?"
 That earned a low growl from the youngest Lothbrok, causing Kari to jump faintly and Hvitserk's smile to grow.
 "Well, I didn't have much of a choice. He showed up at my work the first time." She answered honestly, though she mostly did it to tease Ivar. 
 Hvitserk threw his head back with a groan before narrowing his eyes at his brother. "I told you not to stalk her!"
 "What the fuck is this? Gang up on Ivar day? She wouldn't have gone out with me otherwise and afterward she said she had fun, so it's not a big deal."
 Hvitserk's brown eyes met her blue-green ones with true sympathy in them. "I'm sorry, Kari. I would say he isn't normally like this but I'm guessing you know that's a damn lie by now."
 She giggled, "Yeah, I do. Thank you though."
 "You know, we could always ditch him and go to the movie just us."
 "Oh yeah?" She tapped her chin, pretending to think the offer over. "That sounds like fun. Ivar did promise to buy me a stupid amount of chocolate though. It'd be a hard sell to pass that offer up."
 "I'm sure I can come up with something." He wiggled his blond eyebrows, smiling again. 
 "Shut the fuck up, both of you." 
 Kari laughed at the look on Ivar's face. Peering up at him, she changed the subject. "What movie are we seeing?"
 "Ask your new friend over there."
 "Come on, Ivy. You know we're just fucking with you." Hvitserk sighed.  
 Ivar grumbled, looking out the window and ignoring both of them.
 Hvitserk answered her question. "That new horror movie."
 "Oh ok." She hoped she sounded confident but kind of wished she had known before coming. Horror movies were not her thing. As a child, she had watched 'IT' at a sleepover and decided then that purposefully being scared was something she could do without. Though knowing Ivar, he would have laughed and pushed her out the door, saying something about how she needed to watch better shit than she normally did. Maybe this one would be more action-based than real horror. She could only hope. 
 Thankfully, they pulled up at the movie theater soon after. The driver dropped the three off at the door, driving off after to go park and wait. 
 "Ivar, hold on." She tugged on his arm, forcing him to slow his steps instead of walking ahead of the other two. "Give us a minute, Hvitserk."
 The blond brother gave her a quick nod. "I'll go buy some snacks."
 After he walked away, she tried to meet Ivar's gaze, though he pointedly stared over her shoulder. "Hey, we're just teasing. I'm sorry if we pushed it too far. I'm really happy you asked me to come out with you and your brother. It's been years since I've gone out to the movies."
 He remained stubbornly sullen, continuing to stare just over her shoulder as if her presence was a nuisance. 
 With a sigh, she shifted closer, taking the initiative to wrap her arms loosely around his waist. Something she had noticed during the times they had hung out was he liked touching her, not always sexually, but just casual, intimate touches. A stray thought of him being touch-starved crossed her mind. 
 "I also really like your jacket, it's soft and it smells like you." She softly said, peeking up at him, suddenly nervous about her forwardness. 
 "Yeah?" He breathed out, placing his arms around her and tugging her closer. In just that movement, she could feel the hostility drain out of him, the hard tension in his muscles easing away into a softness she was beginning to doubt many people were allowed to see. 
 "Since you threw my other one away, can I keep this one?" She teased, lips curling up at the edges. If he said no, she was inclined to steal it anyway. For emotional damages, of course, not because it smelled good. 
 "Fuck, yes, kitten." He nuzzled her neck, making her squirm in his arms and giggle at the sensation. After a moment, still chuckling, he kissed her neck then laid his forehead against hers. When he spoke, it was with a quiet hint of vulnerability, his voice just above a murmur. "You really are happy to be out with me?"
 "I am." She confirmed with eyes closed, soaking in the heat from his body against hers. This moment felt so strangely intimate that she struggled between prolonging it or tearing herself away. It was in these touches, she found her resolve wavering, a longing rising within her to give in. His arms around her, just holding her, their foreheads pressed together as if grounding one another. It was euphoric and dangerous. 
 He broke the silence between them, tone muffled as if regretting speaking up. "We should go in; the movie is going to start soon."
 "Ok. Hvitserk will probably come looking for us if we don't." 
 "Ah, fuck. He will." 
 They untangled, but as she moved to step away, he snaked his arm around her waist, tugging her next to him. When she glanced up at him, he only looked down at her in wide-eyed, mock innocence. She rolled her eyes but giggled. He was like a puppy afraid to let go of his new toy. 
 As they started towards the doors, she finally paid more attention to his gait. Each step was stiff but powerful. One more than one occasion she ogled him and his swagger that seemed to scream predator, a dark and deadly thing meanwhile also being so enticing. She wondered how he managed so well without his cane but decided not to bring it up.
 Once they passed through the door, Ivar slowed down, pulling his phone from his pocket. 
 "Shit. I've got to take this. Go wait with Hvitty. Oh, here." He pulled out his wallet and handed her his credit card. "Go buy all that chocolate I promised you and drinks for us."
 Normally she would protest, saying she could buy her own stuff. This time she had full intentions of spending his money on chocolate. "Do you want anything to eat?" 
 "Are you on the menu?"
 "Gods, unbelievable!" She laughed though, watching him smile genuinely. After an arrogant wink, he stepped away, bringing his phone to his ear and speaking rapidly in a foreign language. She scurried over to Hvitserk, who stood near the confessions counter. 
 "Everything alright?" 
 "Yeah," she glanced over her shoulder at Ivar quickly, "he just got a phone call he said he had to take."
 Hvitserk hummed, watching Ivar across the lobby with a peculiar expression. 
 While they waited, she ordered her snacks and the drinks for both of them. Though her doubts rapidly spun out of control as she realized she did not know what Ivar would like or want. With a pleading look thrown at him, Hvitserk gave in with a chuckle. Together they picked out snacks and drinks that would have the youngest Lothbrok's approval. Once done, they gathered their stuff and moved over to an open, standing table to continue waiting. 
 "While Ivar is busy, I wanted to talk to you."
 "Ah, sure." She felt a tendril of dread grow in her belly. Nothing good ever came out of a conversation with such an inauspicious beginning. 
 "I know Ivar can be a lot, closer to fucking insane, and not many people can tolerate him." He looked down at her with brown eyes that seemed to see more than they let on. "But you're good for him. You don't take his bullshit. Fuck, he even listens to you. I could count on one hand how many people Ivar actually listens to. What makes you different?"
 "I don't know. I'm just…. I don't know." She stared down at her chipped, teal fingernails, unable to meet his eyes now. 
 "Well whatever you are, we've already noticed a difference since you two started talking. He's not as angry, he doesn't just hole up in his room as often."
 "That's good."
 "Mmmm…. Ivar is my brother and I love him. But I also know his temper can get the better of him and when he is on a rampage, nothing can fucking stop him. He is easily jealous and possessive of things he deems his own…. and he clearly had staked a claim on you."
 "But…. we're just friends."
 "Not to him." He huffed, running a hand over his braids. After checking to make sure his brother was still on the phone, he continued, lowering his voice even more. "You seem like a nice girl so I'll only say this once. Be careful of what promises you make to him…. and if he ever does something to harm you or scare you, I want you to call me. I'll do what I can to protect you. Alright?"
 She nodded, unnerved by his warning. Sure, she knew about the Lothbrok reputation. Yet this was the first time someone point blank warned her with true understanding. She was unsure if she should appreciate the warning or be terrified that he thought Ivar could hurt her. 
 "Give me your phone."
 Silently, she handed it over. He plugged his number in and called himself. With a satisfied nod, he gave it back to her. 
 "Good, don't ever hesitate to call me. Besides, if my brother has his way, none of us would ever meet you. My other brothers want to meet the girl who has Ivar wrapped around her finger already." He winked at her, making her blush. 
 "Hvitty, stop flirting with her!" 
 The flaxen-haired brother grinned, as he watched his brother approach. "I'm not. Just telling her the others want to meet her."
 "Fuck no." Ivar growled, coming to stand between the two. 
 "I'd love to meet your brothers." She commented lightly. "After hearing you talk about them, it'd be nice."
 "Awww, Ivy, you talk about us?" Hvitserk teased, nudged his shoulder with his own. 
 "Not you, asshole."
 Hvitserk laughed, pressing his forehead swiftly to Ivar's. "Come on, the movie has probably started."
 Ivar and Kari followed behind Hvitserk, as he led them to the correct auditorium. Along the way, she handed Ivar a couple of the boxes of candy she bought and the drink picked out for him. 
 "How much fucking candy did you buy?" He grumbled, eyeing the boxes suspiciously. 
 "Enough. If you ask nicely, I might share." She quipped. "I even bought Heksehyl for both of us. Hvitserk said it's your favorite…. and I also got Dumle. Oh, and Guld Barre!" 
 "I did promise you chocolate."
 She giggled. "Yes, you did."
 The three of them found the auditorium and took seats off to the side. Ivar sat in the middle with Kari on his right and Hvitserk on his left. The movie had just started as they sat down, the lights and noise minimal. Though apprehensive about the movie, Kari found herself smiling at just the nostalgic feeling being here evoked. There was something so simple yet profound at being with friends, eating sweets and watching the silver screen. Let alone the darkness of the theater and the nearby munching of popcorn by others and the occasion sound of people talking. She missed this. So, she endowed to enjoy every part of this. Quietly eating her chocolates, she kept her gaze on the screen.
 After some time, Kari felt a large hand on her upper thigh, inching slowly higher and higher. Jolting at the sudden feeling, she grabbed it, trying to stop its further ascent. Immediately, Ivar flipped his hand over and entwined their fingers. She tried to half-heartedly tug out of it, but he maintained a vice-like grip on her hand. In an attempt to glare at him, she swiveled in her seat to gain his attention. Only for him to remain solely focused on the screen. Rolling her eyes, she gave in, shifting back to continue watching the movie. Their fingers remained entangled. 
 Eventually, the chocolate lay forgotten in her lap as the images on the screen became more disturbing and graphic. A few chuckles came from Ivar and Hvitserk and whispered comments made between them. Once someone in the theater screamed as a person on the screen was suddenly killed. The abrupt sound made Kari jump, squeezing Ivar's hand. He laughed, but squeezed her hand back. Not long after, she gave up on watching the movie and just tucked her face against his shoulder. Horror movies were never her thing, the idea of purposefully being scared never appealed to her. And this movie had a thing for people being eaten alive. Not something she wanted imprinted into her brain. The thought crossed her mind that Ivar orchestrated this on purpose, since he seemed to be fully enjoying her cuddling into him. As if without concern, his head lay on top of hers, continuing to hold her hand. If she was not so concerned about having nightmares and trying to block out the hair-raising screams, she might have liked the cuddling. In this instance though, if he moved, she was going to punch him. 
 Once the movie ended, Ivar and Hvitserk argued about the movie- how some of the people should have died or about the graphics of the terrifying creatures. They both became more and more animated as the three of them walked out of the movie theater and towards the waiting SUV. 
 "What did you think, Kari?" Hvitserk asked, taking his seat across from the others, once they all piled in. 
 "She was scared." Ivar answered, leaning back, his arm on the back of the seat and behind her. 
 "That creature was eating that girl's brain while she was still alive! I did not want to see that! I'm going to have nightmares."
 Smirking, Ivar tilted closer, invading her personal space. "Want me to stay with you? I'll keep you safe…. and make sure you dream of other more, pleasurable, things."
 "No, you'd probably try to scare me on purpose." She accused, pushing his body away from her with a pout. 
 "Well, thanks for seeing it with us." Hvitserk spoke up. "Gods, Bjorn would love it. We'll have to tell him."
 The youngest brother nodded before turning back to the brunette by his side. "You coming out with us for drinks now? We always get drinks after."
 "No, I can't. I have to open tomorrow. I need to sleep."
 "Come on, it'll be fine."
 "No. I'll be getting up at 5:30. That's in like…. six hours." This was one thing she was not going to give into. He had dragged her from her bed already once tonight. He was not about to make her lose out on anymore sleep. Not everyone was able to sleep all morning like certain people. 
 "Next time," Hvitserk said with a shrug, a grin on his face as if amused by the interaction across from him. "I'm sure we can all go out again soon. Right, Ivy?"
 Ivar snorted, "Fine. We'll drop you off."
 A discussion about the movie and comparing it to others swiftly captured the two brothers' attention. Finding herself growing tired, Kari just leaned back and listened, her head resting on the back of the seat, and consequently, Ivar's arm. It was different and refreshing seeing him interact with someone he clearly trusted and cared about. His guard was down and even if some of his comments sounded more like sharp barbs, it was said without true malice. The flaxen-haired brother took each verbal jab like water off a duck's back, either making a joke out of the comment or ignoring it. Throughout the interaction, the care and respect for one another was evident, even if on the surface level it appeared dysfunctional. A smile hinted on her lips as she listened to the brothers. She hoped this was not the last time she spent time with Hvitserk. Though his warning still rang in the back of her mind, she liked him. The whole ride back, Ivar kept his arm behind her, sporadically playing with the ends of her hair. 
 At their arrival to her townhouse, Hvitserk said his goodbye to her in the vehicle, surprising her with a swift hug and peck on the cheek. Her face must have been quite flushed if his laughter after meant anything. Ivar grumbled something at his brother in their foreign language as he pulled her out of the SUV. To her further surprise, Ivar walked her to her front door instead of staying with his brother. 
 "Thanks for inviting me out." She said honestly, once they reached the door. 
 "Next time we'll watch something you enjoy."
 Before she could second guess herself, she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. Instantly, his arms went around her, pulling her closer. While the hug at the movie theater was sweet and intimate, this hug carried a different tone. It was more urgent and passionate. Her face rested on his collarbone, allowing his scent to envelope her. He laid a soft kiss to the top of her head, resting his chin there after. For a split second, she realized she never wanted to leave this moment. To be safe and warm and comforted and wanted. It was all she had ever hoped for. This was dangerous water they treaded in. With each intimate action, she could feel their friendship sailing closer and closer to the waters of something more. The gentle, easy waters of friendship would not be enough to maintain them. 
 With that thought in mind, she regretfully pulled back. "Goodnight." She murmured. 
 "God natt, kattunge."
 "One of these days, you have to tell me what you're saying."
 A devious smirk grew on his lips. "No, I think I like you being in suspense."
 She laughed, shaking her head. They both hesitated to move, the air tense with something, as if both were waiting for the other to say or do something. 
 "Ok, bye." She finally said, opening her front door. 
 He nodded, taking a step back without removing his heated gaze off of her. 
 Shuddering at the feeling of his smoldering gaze, she let herself into the townhouse and made sure to lock the door behind her. Releasing a deep breath, she leaned her back against the door. What was it about him that tempted her so? He was bad news for her. Yet the more time she spent with him, the more she craved being with him. 
 Glancing down, she stared at his soft, gray jacket she still wore and wondered how symbolic this unintended action was.
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ggukkiedae · 3 years
Text
[vlive 210522] Seri’s Seritonin 🥝🐱
9pm kst
italics = english; seri answering questions!
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the vlive starts with seri logging on and waving
she’s playing new rules in the background and staying quiet for the first two minutes
“moa! how are you all?”
she smiles and reads through the comments
she reads a few out loud and sees a few comments asking her to say i love you in different languages, to which she complies to
she turns off her music first and fixes herself in her chair
“bet you guys are wondering why i’m live today, huh? we’ll get to that in a bit. for now, let’s answer questions”
she looks through the comments carefully until she reads one out loud
Seriiiiiii! 5 Beomgyus or 5-year-old Beomgyu?
she laughs at this
“maybe a five year old bammie. he always makes a big deal of being older than me by a few months, so it would be good pay back”
she then pulls out her phone and scrolls through it before turning it towards the screen. it was a picture of beomgyu as a kid
“see this? he sent this to our groupchat the other day. tiny gyu is cute”
how are youuuuuu?
she claps her hands together and smiles at the live
“i’m doing great, thank you! i’ve been practicing harder, and i feel pretty good”
she scrolls through the comments again and takes a sip of her drink. she lightly mixes her drink around and places it back down
“you guys should try peach tea. it’s a godsend. oh, what’s this?”
shall we go on a date?
“you didn’t turn up at our last date”
she pouted a little and laughed
“i waited at the rooftop for a while, but you didn’t show up! but i guess we can go again because you’re moa”
she shifts a little and shakes her head amusedly at her own words
“do i sound like gyu?”
Hi Seri! I have a couple questions 😊 What has been your favorite era music wise and style wise? What hair style/color do you want to try? What's your current favorite song? What are you looking forward to most?
her eyes widened a little before she looks up trying to come up with answers to the series of questions
“oh, wow, i guess you could say i really liked our songs from the minisode album, but my favorite title track is run away for sure. actually, i take that back. i like the songs on dream chapter magic the most! in terms of style... dream chapter magic as well! i really like new rules’ styling especially”
a small smile makes its way to her face as she’s about to answer the last question from that comment
“right now, i’m really looking forward to our new album, and i hope you’ll like it as well! so far, the tracks are amazing!”
any plans for a comeback with the royals?
“i don’t know” she laughs and looks off camera “what do you think?”
yoonmi’s giggle can be heard while seri just laughed
“you exposed me! anyway, we’ll see when the three of us get an opportunity again” “you guys heard yoonmi”
seri takes the live and points it to the side, revealing the magenta-haired girl peacefully sitting in the dance studio near her while working on something on her laptop
“yoonmi is working on school stuff even if she just released a song yesterday” “responsibilities”
Seri baby are you aware that Seri sounds like berry? Therefore you are now berry Seri or Seri Berry 🤔
“oh, that’s cute! seri berry... i love it! i’m a berry now! i can replace strawberries, i don’t like strawberries”
she wrinkled her nose at the thought of the red berries as the sound of a chair moving came up. seri looked off camera and waved to, supposedly, yoonmi
“yoonmi has a meeting right now, so she’s off. anyway, back to our live”
Hiya Seri how are you liking the new building? What do you think has changed the most about you since you became an idol? And out of the members who do you think has changed most since you debuted?
“the new building is actually the best thing ever, i swear! there’s a lot of space, and the facilities are all high quality! honestly, i’m the only txt member who doesn’t get lost, so it’s pretty funny when the others have to ask for my help to walk around”
she then pressed her lips into a tight line while thinking about her next answer
“since becoming an idol... i think i became more confident. the others tell me this a lot. they say every comeback my stage presence gets better, and i look more comfortable? i also became a better dancer for sure. not the best yet, but i’m working on it. also maybe kai? first of all, he’s gotten way taller now. second, he’s been more mature. yes, he’s still our baby, but he handles things a lot more maturely now. sometimes he acts like he’s older than me as well”
hi bestieeeeeee! what do you think you’d be doing if you weren’t an idol?
“hey, bestie! musical theatre for sure!”
seri immediately perked up at this. she jumped back in her seat a little with the biggest grin while remembering her experiences
“i loved it back in school! honestly, my parents were pretty supportive about my involvement in theatre and my little brother kinda brags to his friends that his sister goes on stages to perform. it’s kinda cute”
would you consider acting? or maybe starring in a musical?
“oh for sure if i were given the chance!”
you dance amazingly! your artist of the month video with studio choom was absolutely perfect!!!!
“oh my god”
she covered her face and groaned before pulling out her phone and looking for the video on youtube. before pressing play, she looked back to the camera
“thank you, but i’m a little embarrassed about this. i wore red lipstick on stage for the first time after debut, and i showed a side of me that’s pretty different…”
she pressed play and watched the video, cringing at herself. it took a whole 20 seconds before she gave up and hid her phone behind her
“nope. nevermind, i can’t watch that. thank you, i’m glad you enjoyed it”
thoughts on the people you’re being shipped with? 👀
she burst into laughter upon reading this
“ah, yes. shipping. i see you guys on stan twitter with your little edits and headcanons and aus! honestly, it’s amusing. apparently most of you ship me with gyu and seungmin? and a few other people, too?”
she was quiet for a while like thinking about who moas shipped her with. she shook her head with and began talking again
“gyu... well, bammie’s my best friend, and i love him a lot. it’s been us from the very beginning, so i like to think we’ll be as close as ever until the end”
“seungmin is the bane of my existence”
she laughed at this before waving her hand
“kidding! he’s actually really nice, and i love hanging out with him, it just so happens our friendship is based on bickering. we do support each other though. seungmin, if you see this, you did well on love poem”
she then lit up as if just remembering something
“some of you guys ship me with chaeryoung! interesting considering you all see me as ryujin’s sibling, but please, i’m not worthy of the queen herself. i love chae with all my heart honestly she’s such a sweet child”
her phone buzzed and she glanced at it a little bit before turning back to the live
“perfect timing because hyunsuk just messaged me and some special ship mentions are hyunsuk and jeno oppa. i think it’s because i hang out with hyunsuk’s little siblings a lot. but jeno oppa? we just met earlier this year, it’s a little funny how apparently a lot of people ship us when we haven’t really shown our friendship much”
she typed something one her phone before chuckling and shutting it off once again. she looked through the comments until she found the topic she was looking for
What’s up with you and Dino? 👀👀👀
“ah, this. this brings me to the reason i went live. recently, you guys have seen me and dino oppa hanging out, right? well, we’re not dating. i wanted it to be a surprise, but he’s helping me with something for my birthday, and i agreed to do something with him for their youtube as well”
her phone rang, and she laughed before picking it up and putting it on speaker
“hello? you’re on speaker” “seri-yah! how dare you deny our relationship?” “oh? you’re watching?” “look up, stupid. i’m standing by the door”
she looked off camera and laughed
“yah! oppa, what are you doing here?” “miya told me you were gonna talk about the scandal, so i thought why not come early?”
dino appears next to seri in a mask and a hat. he nudged seri over to the side so they could both be centered on screen, making her raise her eyebrow at him
“meet my new dance partner” dino points towards seri whose eyes widen as soon as he said that
“they don’t know yet!” “you said we were working on two things together!” “but they didn’t know one of them is dance!” “might as well tell them so we can clear up this rumor before i get attacked by moas”
she sighed at him
“i’d get attacked by carats. anyway, fine. dino oppa’s helping me with a song, and he’s making me dance with him for a video. you can look forward to this in july”
dino adjusted his hat and leaned forward a little
“no need to panic, we’re not in a romantic relationship. she’s too tall for me”
“... you’re literally taller than me though?” “not by that much. if you wear heels, we’d be the same height, and i don’t think i’m up for that”
she playfully rolled her eyes
“looks like i’ve discussed what needed to be cleared up now. i’m single. single.” “yes, they get the point” “oh, would you just go already?”
she was pretending to push him away while he laughed at her failed attempts. he moved off camera but stays in the room
“no way, we’ve got to work the choreography out today”
“this is gonna be a while,” she muttered before smiling at the live once again “well, time for me to go. i’ve got a lot of work to do to be on par with a member of seventeen’s performance team”
dino’s groaning could be heard from the side
“this again?”
she laughed
“bye moa! hopefully that cleared things up, and hopefully you enjoyed this little tmi session”
-end-
37 notes · View notes
hongnanglen-arina · 3 years
Text
The Ulzzang Project - Part 2 | Jeon Wonwoo
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Read part 1  Read part 3
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Genre:
Fluff, crack (maybe explicit content in the next chapters)
Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x female reader
Warnings: none, just a smirk here and there ;)
Words: 2.7k
A/N: Hello there! Here’s part 2 and I just wanted to thank everyone who had liked my work so far :3 I’d be more than happy to know your thoughts about this part too hehe. Oh and it’s not over yet so watch out for a part 3 somewhen in the next days/weeks. As always, excuse my grammar - also because I didn’t re-read this part ugh.... ♡
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After uni, you went back home to get rid of your notebook and papers. Finally your backpack wasn't heavy anymore and you could fill it with stuff you would need later. A soft knock on your door interrupted you, it was your mother. "Do you want to try some of the avocado salad that i made? It's really good you know?" Smiling, your eyes wandered around your room. "I'll join you after I'm done here, mom. Maybe in 10 minutes." She left your door with a happy 'okay', leaving you alone again. 
On your way back home, you thought about what to prepare for later. On your list were cute clothes and nail polish. First you wanted to bring some makeup as well but when you remembered that you wouldn't reveal much of your face anyways so there was no use. Nail polish could deliver a more sophisticated vibe? Elegant? .... sexy? You had different possibilities for photos in your head. Like wrapping your arms around your best friend or covering his eyes with your hands. Your dark red nail polish could be a great addition to it. There were a lot of cute clothes in your wardrobe. You didn't want to bring everything with you since you would need different pieces for the next days and photos but there was also a chance to take more photos in advance so you could relax in between - or plan more if it fails. 
On your way out of the room, you saw a bunch of pastel hair clips and ties that you quickly threw inside your bag.
Walking over to your mother, you sat down across her and looked at your plate in awe. "Wow mom! You should definitely open a youtube channel or write a book with your recipes.. or make an instagram account with your food! It looks amazing!" Your mother giggled at your comment. But you meant it. The way your mother placed the salad on the plate and decorated it with little tomatoes to make it more colorful, you didn't want to destroy it with your fork. And the way the avocado was cut and twisted like a rose on top of the mixed salad. "Is it as good at it seems?" Your question caused your mother to pout slightly. "Of course! If not, even better! You will see!"
And it really was. Not that it was a big surprise to you. Your mother was a great cook, a great baker, a great improviser. Just an all rounder and you often asked yourself what you had inherited because besides making simple dishes, you failed at all the other things your mother could do without breaking a sweat.
„Do you have plans today?"
"Yup!" You answered while chewing.
"Are you going to sleep at Wonwoo's place again?"
"Yup!"
"Ah, you guys seem very close. I love it!"
"We have some kind of project going on so we have to spend more time together."
"If that's even possible. When are you going to move in with him?"
You choked on a slice of avocado. "What?!"
"I mean you can be honest with me, dear. You know I would be overly happy if you guys end up together. Oh my god that would be perfect!"
"Mom, stop dreaming. He's my bestie. I'm his bestie. I laughed at him when in kindergarten a girl punched out his canine and he laughed at me when I puked all over our high school teacher. I could never ever date someone who knows that much embarrassing stories about me. Never!"
Your mother looked at you with more determination in her eyes. "But don't those memories make it even better? Being old and grumpy and laughing about stories like that? Or looking at photos and remembering the good old times?" She clapped her hands excitedly but you just rolled your eyes. Your parents would try to get you two together until the very end it seemed.
Awaiting a response from you, you felt the familiar tension rising up and this was the perfect time to leave before the discussion about you dating her best friend's son would continue forever, resulting in you being too late at Wonwoo's place.
Ignoring your mother's complains and whines, you quickly finished your dish and ran to the door, sliding into your converse before leaving the apartment with a 'see you tomorrow, mom. I love you'.
Wonwoo's apartment wasn't too far away. Just 3 stops away that you two often walked the short distance whenever the weather was good or you weren't in a hurry. Right in the middle of the way was a little park where you sometimes meet up in the middle of the night to talk about things that bothered you or just to get ice cream. But if the weather was too bad, a phone call would do instead. 
Sometimes you were wondering what would be different if Wonwoo and you had feelings for each other. If you two would be attracted to each other. Would your friendship change that much or would it stay the same? Just with the additional couple stuff?
After picking up some burritos from your favorite restaurant, you entered Wonwoo's apartment complex and not long after, you were ringing his doorbell. As if he had been waiting for you, the door opened almost immediately.
"Yo! I got us food! You hungry?"
"You know me too well."
He waved you inside and half an hour later, you two were laying on the couch, your head resting on his lap while his long fingers played with your hair, music playing in the background.
"So, I guess the food wasn't what you meant with urgent, right?"
You looked up at him with a sour face, causing him to chuckle. "Okay okay miss, please don't bury my body in a moldy backyard with your gaze. So.. you want more photos?"
"Yes."
"Do you know what kind of photos you want?"
"Yes."
"Do we need a lot?"
"Yes."
"Will this take a long time so you are going to sleep here?"
"Yes."
"Everything's telling me that you missed me."
"Ye- what? Oh wait..." You propped yourself up, facing him. "Where were you when I sent the text?"
"Mh? I was with Dokyeom and Chan. Chan had troubles with the kids from that other school again so Dokyeom wanted to help. Actually a good plan if you ask me but they ended up being bullied together... so your man had to help."
"My man? Tsk, you wish."
"Is hero better?"
"Worse."
Wonwoo pushed his bottom lip out, giving you a puppy look. "Oh Wonwoo, please stop."
"Tell me I did good and I will."
"Disgusting!"
Turning around so he was now facing your back, he moved closer to you, grabbing and shaking your shoulders in an attempt to convince you. “Pretty please?? Come on, y/n."
You sighted loudly. "Man... alright. You helped our friends so of course you did good."
He cocked his head a bit and stopped the shaking, thinking about your words before nodding satisfied. He knew you well enough to get what he wanted.
Readjusting himself, he leaned back, arms extended over the backrest in both directions. "So is the little lady now up for the sexy photos?" His cocky way to look and talk to you made you gag. You hit his chest and pointed at him. "I told you, I won't do that with you. I wanted to take cute photos so I brought a bunch of clothes and stuff!"
Wonwoo gave your backpack a curious look. "A bunch of clothes... you're staying the night.. where is your stuff for uni then?"
His question was followed by silence. You really forgot that you had to go to uni again. All the thoughts about your new Instagram page made you forget the important stuff you need for a living. How could you forget?! Now you have to get up earlier tomorrow so you can get your stuff from home. You are so stupid!
"You are so stupid!" Wonwoo spoke your thoughts out loud and facepalmed you softly with a chuckle. You just sighted with a defeated expression. „You know, you are really smart y/n but only when you want to. And that doesn’t happen often. Bestie speaking.“ Your nose scrunched with a scoff. You were more than thankful to have such a good friend like Wonwoo but you often felt the urge to hit him with an iron bat for his honesty.
But before you would dwell in self-pity or would smash something real hard against his head - because he knew that expression on your face - Wonwoo stood up and got your bag, changing the topic. "Let's start with the photos then before you get sleepy."
4 hours later, you two had enough. What started off with easy-going selfies with laughter and bickering, quickly turned into a competition between the two of you. Of course you took the much needed photos for your Instagram page but in between you halfway forgot about it and having a better selfie than Wonwoo was suddenly all that counted. The goal was to get the other to surrender, which wasn’t easy. Neither of you wanted to lose and because you had known each other for over a decade, you knew almost all sides of the other. There was nothing that could shock you or surprise you. That’s what you thought.
Because somewhere after 10 pm, Wonwoo suddenly announced his plan to take a shower and you thought nothing was wrong with that. Little did you know, that he was going to take photos there. So while you were comfortable on the couch with a bowl of snacks in your lap, you scrolled through the new bunch of photos. You even created several folders. ’IG me’, ‘IG Wonu’, ‘IG cute’ and ‘IG others’. Today was all about being cute although there were quite a few times when neither Wonwoo or you liked the others ideas. For example, you wanted to take a photo of Wonwoo fixing your shoe laces because you had seen a lot of other people doing that but he thought it was a stupid idea to do it at home. It would look fake, he said. And you had agreed. You made a mental note to take this photo the next time you were outside. Or Wonwoo suggested that he could place his hand on your bare thigh and take a photo just because he wanted to ‘spice it up a little’. You made him stop with an extra hard punch on his arm though. You weren’t able to count how often you had to remind him that you only wanted cute and innocent photos.
Trying to choose one for today’s evening post, you smiled at the photos of him struggling to make you a fishtail braid. He had studied several videos of tutorials and even worked on your hair while a video was playing but he failed so hard that you took nearly 100 photos of it. Thanks to the nearby mirror, you were able to take them without revealing too much of your identity.
You heard how the bathroom door unlocked and saw Wonwoo leave it seconds after, dressed in dark pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt, with one hand rubbing a towel through his hair, with the other typing on his phone. ‘What an all-rounder’, you snorted under your breath, thinking to yourself that he must be the only man who could multi-talk even though this ability ended with a third task but for a man it was still impressive. When he joined you on the couch, you quickly made some space so he won’t sit down on your face, also offering him a snack which you put in his mouth as he opened up.
“Refresh the app, y/n.”
With curious eyes, you did what you were told and the moment you saw what he meant, you stopped yourself gasping halfway. 
“W-what the??” Your arms covered your eyes almost instinctively.
"I mean, cute photos always get good feedback. But if you want to have a boost in likes and followers, this is the way to go."
“B-but you should have discussed it with me beforehand!” You whined while peeking through your fingers to glare at him from the side.
“Oh really?” His voice was teasingly innocent which made the situation less stressful for you.
What was open on your phone screen was a photo of your best friend, his bare chest wet with water and a suggestive smirk on his lips. You couldn’t see above his mouth nor much below his navel but it was enough to cause your cheeks to heat up furiously. You knew he was handsome, you have always known, but right now was a little different. To see him taking advantage of it like this made you speechless. You didn’t dare to stare for too long, you felt the eyes of the person beside you on yourself.
“So what do you say?”
“…….. let’s go to bed!”
Wonwoo’s eyes got slightly bigger in surprise but then there was a smirk on his lips. “So that’s the way you roll, baby? Okay, let’s have some fun then.”
You almost spit out the cheese ball that was in your mouth. “What the hell?? Jeon Wonwoo, I’m sleepy! I want to sleep!! And stop babying me or you won’t be able to go to uni tomorrow!!”
“Is that so? What are you planning on doing to me huh?”
Getting up, you stomped off to the bathroom. “You’re extremely annoying, you know that?”
He just chuckled at your reaction and followed you to get ready for bed. “I love you too, y/n.”
The next day at uni was like any other day, except you were than sleepy and annoyed because smart y/n had to get her stuff from home. When you sat outside from uni with your friends, Wonwoo was across the bench you were sitting beside Hoshi, currently listening to him ramble about visiting the zoo and greeting his tiger family when a group of girls squealed all of a sudden. 
You all looked in the direction of the source and Seungkwan sighed. “Yoon Jeonghan, who else.”
“Yoon who?”
“The most handsome guy on campus according to the uni magazine,” Hoshi added and you cocked your head, seeing him from afar. He had silky hair and a sharp jawline. He was attractive but you wouldn’t call him the most handsome guy.
"I don't think he's sooo handsome though. Wonwoo is way better.” You said after a while, finishing the teriyaki wrap you were holding in your hand.
A piece of grilled sausage fell from Wonwoo's chopsticks but he quickly took it in between again and continued eating so no one knew. Getting compliments from you wasn't something new to him but lately it felt a little different but he couldn't wrap a finger around it what it really was. 
"Oh just open his Instagram. You can thank me later."
You shook your head no and took a sip of your water. “No thanks. Not interested.”
“But it’s funny. Once he kind of fought off a group of admires when a girl fell and twisted her ankle. She had to wear a cast for half a year but she was happy because it was Yoon Jeonghan. Crazy, isn't it?"
"You're ridiculous.” Once again, you turned around to look at the allegedly most wanted man from campus who disappeared in the building including his fans.
"Everyone on campus knows that story and a lot more. How you missed out on important facts like this is a mystery, really. Where do you live? Behind the moon?”
Shrugging your shoulders at the comment, you unlocked your phone, trying to show your friends how uninteresting that Yoon Jeonghan was to you but secretly you looked up his Instagram. Well, not bad. He knew how to pose. And was his skin really that pale and clear? Must be a filter. You were 100 % sure. Absentmindedly you scrolled through it but when you had enough, you went to your shared account with Wonwoo. ‘Oh a new post!’ Quickly making sure that Hoshi wasn’t looking, you opened the post and nearly dropped the phone when you saw the text Wonwoo had added. The photo was uploaded 2 minutes ago. A photo from yesterday when he was playing with your hair after you two had dinner. You didn’t know he took a photo. Your eyes were glued on the short text.
I’m in love with her. 
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alexlabhont · 3 years
Text
I didn’t mean to fall in love with you
Chapter ten
Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)
Pairing:  Poppy Min-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC (Beck Hughes)
Genre: Canon re-write (Because I can)
Rating: Anyone can read it, really
Tags: @dopeyouth @theymakemegayer @save-me-the-last-dance @poppysmc (If anyone want to be tagged in or removed, just tell me)
This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes)
If you have any comment, PLEASE BE RESPECTFULL and patient with me. This is also my first english fanfic and english is not my mother language, so… i’m sorry fo the grammar errors. I also installed recently Grammary, so… hope its worth it.
CHAPTERS
Chapter nine
ONE-SHOTS
Just a dance (Zoey x MC)
——————————————————————
Poppy:
See you then, tushi face 😉
She wrote on her phone, knowing very well what It meant: She succeeded. Again.
That was the very first time Beck had actually asked her out, which was a sign that every single move worked just right; nothing to be surprised though, she was pretty damn fabulous and she wouldn't pretend otherwise. 
"It took you a while, actually." Veronica said later that day when Poppy reached out to their friends at the fraternity house. "Nor even Carter gave you so much trouble."
"Carter is just an immature boy who thought a pretty girl plus a gigantic football player were just meant to be." The blonde responded with a snap. "Beck's slightly different, they didn't care for a face. The trick is to be yourself, but not too much. It took me a while to figure that out, but now that I get it, that one is mine to be borrowed." A strange feeling of satisfaction filled her, making her smile at that thought.
"But... have you guys fuck?" Chloe asked suddenly with a confused gaze, Poppy couldn't help but roll her eyes as hard as she could while she felt how both of her friends were watching her, gosh, even Veronica left the phone aside just for that question.
"What the hell, Chloe? Not everything's about sex, you whore." 
"Are you serious?" She heard her brunette friend said, intrigued. Poppy could smell the problems that what she just said was about to bring. There it was one simple rule: If Poppy wants it, Poppy has it, and it has been like this since ever. So yeah, that matter was definitely weird. "Why? Don't you tell me you're too afraid to do it."
"Of course not!" She said angrily. "I did my research, and fucking Beck’s no different from any other experience I've had. I think it is them who's not ready..." A tiny hint of concern showed up in Poppy's voice without helping it. Of course she noticed it! The relief coming from their eyes when Zoey walked into both of them, as if they were scared, and being caught in the middle was a much better option than to actually do it. She was so offended by it that she told them she had something to do and disappeared from there.
"I think it might have something to do with their life back at Farmsville. I don't know what it is, but if I get to sleep with them, I know I'd have won. That's the next step." Poppy said, taking a ballpen from her desk to write down her new goal, she was that kind of girl who loved to put her ideas on paper to think them through. 
"So… You're counting on gain their trust enough to fuck them to finally control them?" Veronica pointed out, looking at Poppy as if she was a mad.
"Exactly… And all I need is tomorrow morning. It needs to be perfect and I have just the thing for it." a smirk showed off on her face, the determination of winning was written down on every single muscle of her body.
“Don’t you think you’re putting a lot more effort into it than it’s needed?” Chloe asked again.
“Mind your own business and let me do the planning, Chloe. After all, we know you forgot to pay your brain bill.” 
The bitch-y mode was on. She hated when she was being questioned about her actions especially when Poppy knew that everything she has been doing was necessary to achieve a goal; her enemy was powerful, she just had to see the rankings to realize it, Beck climbed as easy as the wind, doing things in this short time than a lot of people couldn’t do in years being here and they didn’t seem as trying. She needed to have them next to her for control.
Or at least, that's what she was telling herself. Something deep down her core murmured something else, something that might be too scary to admit, so she won’t. Never. However, that went down to the trash when she saw Beck the next day. It wasn’t their looks at all, actually, it was on point as always even though it was casual; the problem was her. Poppy could feel her heart becoming warm to the sight of that stupid lamb look of theirs with that sexy yet cute fucking smile they gave her. A little red alarm sounded in her head, but it wasn’t that big of a deal, so she shoved it down.
"Hey" Beck greeted her. "You made it."
"Of course I did, I have a driver for my needs. What are we doing here?" 
Beck asked her to meet them at Whitehall street at nine sharp, but they didn't tell her what to expect, so Poppy was rather curious. Beck put his hands in his pockets, raising an eyebrow playfully.
"Yeah, sure… You have money and stuff, but… have you ever seen the Statue of Liberty from a helicopter?" Poppy's eyes went wide open, she was frankly surprised, how did they manage to get that? Wasn't Beck poor? It had to do with their YouTube account?
"No." She managed to say, trying not to sound so amazed; that was a pretty impressive idea, not going to lie.
"Well— Today is not the day you'd get to do it, because we're taking the ferry." Gosh, she should have seen this coming.
"You're such an idiot." She pointed, irritated by having been fooled like that. "Wait, what ferry are we taking?"
"That one." The strawberry blond could have sworn a mischievous spark lighted up Beck's eyes as they pointed at an awful orange ship coming to shore, that ferry looked so old that maybe it saw her grandmother born and grow.
"What?! There is no way in hell I'll be onto that thing."
"Oh, come on, Popps. Don't talk about it like that. The Staten Island Ferry is full of a butch of history on its own. It's the door to new experiences!"
"Like death?"
"It's totally safe." Beck replied chuckling. "And free."
"Whatever you say, I'm going home." She tried to go, but Beck's hand took her by the arm with a delicate touch.
"Give us a chance, just one chance —well, maybe two actually— but I promise you won't regret it."
Poppy turned to see them, still not sure about any of it. She had never been on that ferry, and she didn't care too much about it anyway when the destination was Staten Island. She didn't know what was their motivation to go to the most boring part of all New York, but that fucking face of theirs! Sometimes she wished they weren't that good-looking.
"I swear to God, Beck if something happens to me or my outfit I'll kill you and your entire music career."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Cruella."
They waited for a few minutes to get on the ferry, but once both were there, Poppy couldn't help but cling herself to Beck's arm. Truth be told, she hated boats. A lot. Once when she was a kid she fell from one of those little keels into the lake, and when she tried to come out, Poppy discovered that the boat was right above her head. She literally had nightmares about that day, especially on rainy days. With the time Poppy got to overcome that fear and now she loved to be invited to yacht parties —with the rightful security system, clearly—, but that ferry was ancient for god knows how many decades, and it being free was a bad forerunner to her, how many drowned people were behind all its story?
She jumped when the ferry started to move into the waters, the surprise was so much that her nails dug their way into Beck's clothes, reaching for the skin.
"Ouch! That fucking hurts!" 
"Good." 
Beck didn't say a thing after that, they were more focused on the shore as if they were waiting for something to happen back there. Then, after a while they smiled.
"Now that's a view." They said with a wide grin on their face. "Turn around." Poppy, who was too busy looking at the Upper Bay and thinking how awful would be to fall from there, suddenly found herself being turned over by Beck to the other side of the ship. 
And what she saw was spectacular.
Maybe it wasn't from a helicopter at all, but getting to see that part of the Statue of Liberty going far and far away from them both was incredible, a breathtaking picture that she had never appreciated until that day. Unexpectedly that made her think about how much she was missing even after living in New York a while now: The smell of the ocean, the sea breeze hitting softly in her face, the sun illuminated the statue and the clouds behind it. It was like a painting coming out alive.
"It's beautiful…" she whispered without her noticing it until it was outside her mouth.
"Definitely it is…" Poppy heard Beck mumbled, so she looked at them almost immediately. Maybe it was one of those moments in movies where Beck would talk about her and not exactly the panorama, but no. Beck's eyes were glued to the sculpture. For a moment she felt disappointed, but then she caught a glimpse of blush into their cheeks and tension in their lips proving her that she wasn't wrong. Yes, definitely they were talking about her.
"I know it doesn't look as fancy as the other ferries, but… this is why it's worth the while. And I have to admit that watching it with you was so much better than doing it alone, so... thank you."
“Why?"
"For trusting in me." They said. Poppy stopped a little, thinking through those words. 
"I guess I like you more than I thought." She then replied. The weird thing? The blonde actually meant what she said. But that didn’t mean anything, Beck was not as lame as she thought, no big deal, right?
Both spent a while like that, quiet but freely relaxed, looking at what the ocean had to offer. She didn't recall the exact moment when she started to do it, but at one point she laid down her head, resting it on Beck's shoulder while they hugged by the waist, it was as if in that exact moment nothing else mattered; she didn’t have to think about her obligations, about popularity, about pretending . The ride was about twenty-five minutes long but for some reason, they went very fast. She almost was disappointed when it came to an end until she remembered there was only one way back.
“So now what? We wait for the next ferry?”
Beck raised an eyebrow.
"Do you really think we came all the way here because of one ride?"
"Beck, is Staten Island. What else could you do?" 
"Damn, Poppy. I'm starting to think you're too boring on your own." Beck teased
" What if you stop saying bullshit and tell me what do you have planned from now on instead?" Beck smiled as if they were waiting for that question.
"Come with and find out." That cursed smirk of theirs came as a challenge, while Beck started to walk towards the bus stop.
God, this was going to be terrible.
________
Next
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marrys-dream-world · 3 years
Text
lovers alone wear sunlight (chapter five)
Chapter One  Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four
Read on AO3
Notes: Sorry for this late entry, June 5th was my birthday and I didn't have time to finish the chapter. Hope you enjoy it anyway. I liked writing this, even though I don't fully agree with Ladybug's opinions through it. Next chapter will come out on the 13th. This if for Day 5: Adverstisement. @ladrienjune
Adrien Agreste’s apple juice advertisement came out on a saturday and it was quite a hit with the ladies.
Marinette, as a lady herself, would know. She couldn’t walk down the street without seeing posters on every wall or buses with the ad passing by. No matter what video she watched on youtube, it was always that ad that played before, skippable after five seconds (not that she ever did). Most of the girls in her class thought it was cute, apart from Alíx, and she even caught Chloé, as angry as she was with Adrien, watching it alone in the locker room during break. 
Lila, never one to lose an opportunity, had cooed about how she had been invited to be a poster girl along with Adrien, but had to decline filming due to her intense fear of pools. When she hugged his arm to her chest along with a “right, Adrien?”, he had only offered her a thin smile and no words. Marinette bit back the urge to make Lila back off from her boyfriend and call her out on that obvious lie. What good would that do? Alya had rubbed her arm sympathetically, but what really calmed her down was meeting Adrien’s eyes after.
Stupid, right? His green eyes said, rolling.
Very stupid. Her blue eyes said, smiling along with her mouth. 
But Lila’s tall tales were not the worst thing that came out of it and Marinette learned that on a wednesday afternoon.
She had been walking home midday, eager for the quiche her father promised her that morning and to check on her wayward kwamis, whose phone was dead, probably from taking turns in playing subway surf (Longg was, surprisingly, an unbeatable champion). She was making her way through the park when she was pulled behind the merry-go-around, preparing to scream and apply the self-defense class she got from her mother to good use. Then, she noticed who it was.
“Adrien?” Marinette asked, confused. 
“Marinette, sorry to ask you this, but can I hide at your house during lunch?” He said, pulling her into a crouch and looking over his shoulder every once in a while. 
“Of course!” She said immediately, grabbing his arm and stealthily guiding him towards the bakery.
They arrived on record time, perfected by months of Marinette sneaking around and trying to get to her house undetected. After all, Ladybug shouldn’t be seen by her balcony too often as either her identity would be done for or Paris would assume Marinette Dupain-Cheng was Ladybug’s, ahem, friend (both Tikki and Alya thought this theory was completely bogus, but she still thought it had some merit). Her mother was running the counter, running through the dozens of clients as easily as breathing and sparing a smile at Marinette that fell a bit when she saw Adrien. 
“I’ll explain later.” Marinette told her mother, rushing Adrien to the back before anyone could get a good look at him.
Sabine frowned. “Make sure he eats something. He looks so tired, poor thing.”
Everything happened so fast that Marinette didn't notice it at first, but her mother was right. Standing awkwardly in her living room, Adrien’s skin looked pale in the afternoon light and even his expertly-done make-up was having trouble hiding the bruise-like shadows under his eyes. He was, as always, perfectly styled, but his red sweater looked a bit rumpled and his hair windswept. 
“Hum, Adrien, why don’t you stand up? I m-mean, sit down, you’re already up.” She said, grabbing an extra plate and setting up the table, quiche already warm waiting for them. “You can take any seat, just not the one that I’m sitting on hehehe- not that I’m saying you would sit on my lap. I know you wouldn’t, would you? Forget it, forget it.”
Adrien cracked a smile, the sun coming from behind the clouds. “Thanks, Marinette, but you don’t have to feed me or anything, I’ll just wait for a bit and then I’ll be out of your hair.”
“What? No, there’s plenty of food.” She said, gesturing to the table. At his hesitancy, she played dirty: “You wouldn’t make me eat alone after I set your plate, would you?”
Flushing, he sat down. “No, of course not, thank you, Marinette.” His eyes softened. “You saved my life back there.”
“You know me, everyday Ladybug.” She joked before biting her tongue. Was she begging him to figure out her identity or what? But his expression didn’t change to anything but fonder. “What were you hiding for?”
“Oh.” His face darkened and she immediately regretted the question. “My fans have been… worse since my new ad was released.”
“A new ad?” Marinette said, voice coming out higher than she intended, cutting a piece of quiche and dropping it on his plate.
“Thank you, Marinette, and yes, on saturday.” Adrien said, picking up his fork and tasting the food. Then, the corner of his lips quirked. “Since that day, my life has never known peace.”
“Fangirls started manifesting physically in your house?” She guessed and he laughed quietly. She could listen to it in a loop for hours. “Why aren't you at your house, though? You usually have lunch there.”
“I convinced my father to let me spend a lunch break at school. He's been in a good mood since saturday. I was going to surprise Nino, but he had a lunch date with Alya today and I didn’t want to bother. So I was going to check out that cafe near the school but… I got caught.” He chuckled humorlessly. 
“Well, if anything like that happens again, you can always come here.” Marinette said, firmly. ”You know what? You can come here whenever, you don’t even need a reason. Just say you want to have lunch and we will have lunch.”
“Really?” Adrien asked, eyes strangely shiny.
“Yeah. We’re friends, right?”
He blinked rapidly, looking at her as if for the first time. “Right. Thanks, Marinette, really.”
The expression he had stayed with her for the rest of the day, even when she was flying through Paris with her yo-yo and into the night. Shadow Moth had been quiet these days, especially when compared to the string of akumas and sentimonsters he had been sending her way the past few months. He had settled since Saturday, so Marinette liked to joke that even he was so entranced by Adrien’s commercial and perfect looks that he decided to give up villany altogether (Daizzi and Kaalki agreed with her, but Trixx and Wayzz thought it was unlikely. The other kwamis decided to not comment on their three-hour debate, but Tikki did take down the post-it from her theory wall. Unfair.).
However, it was hard to enjoy peace and quiet with the cat-sized void by her side. After their last patrol, they exchanged messages through their communicators and scheduled different patrol days, their conversation kept short and professional. So, not like them at all. Marinette, as a civilian, sometimes saw Chat Noir from her balcony and on the streets as he talked with parisians. When he noticed her, she thought she saw him sending her a smile that was a touch more familiar than for the others. But it was just her mind seeing things that she wanted because sure, they interacted more than once, but why would Chat Noir care?
This wasn’t the time to think about Chat Noir anyway. She arrived at her destination, knocking softly on the window. The lights of the room were on and one of her biggest sources of heartache was lying head down on his desk, textbooks open around him. 
“Adrien?” She called as softly as she could, watching him stirr. “Adrien!”
He jumped from his chair, hair messy and sticky to his face and sweater rumpled. He blinked a couple of times, eyes foggy. “Ladybug?”
“Can you open the window?” She asked and he complied quickly, helping her in with a hand and earning a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, handsome.”
No matter how many times she did, he always replied with the same dopey grin, even if it was a little subsided today. 
“I’m the one who should be grateful, getting a visit from Paris’ prettiest superhero.”
“Don’t let Chat Noir hear that.” She teased, only to get confused when his expression became melancholic.
“I’m sure he would agree.” Adrien said, squeezing the hand he still held. “Is everything okay with you two?”
“Well, he’s still not talking to me and we still patrol by ourselves so… no.” Ladybug sighed. “But I don’t want to talk about him, I want to talk about you.”
“Me?” He seemed genuinely startled at the question. “What about me?”
“You don’t look so hot right now.” She said, trying to broach the topic in a lighthearted manner. But Adrien flinched, dropping her hand. 
“I-I’m sorry. I had a full day with school and fencing and homework so I didn’t have time to freshen up or anything. Give me, hum, a minute and-”
“Adrien, hey. Adrien.” She interrupted, gently touching his face with her hand and turning it towards her. He let her, looking defeated and incredibly tired. “That’s not what I meant at all.”
“W-what?” 
“You look tired and sad and I’m worried about you because I care, Adrien.” She said as clearly as she could, trying to leave as little room for misunderstandings as possible. 
“... why?” He whispered. 
She frowned. “Why what?”
“Why do you care?”
She floundered at that. “What do you mean, Adrien? I care because you’re my boyfriend and I like you.”
“But why do you like me, Ladybug?” He snapped, frown deepening and shadows under his eyes looking deeper. “It doesn’t make sense at all, we barely know each other and you’re Paris’ superhero and I’m just… me. Shouldn’t you want someone better? Like, I don’t know, Chat Noir?”
“I…” I don’t want Chat Noir, she meant to say, but those words got stuck in her throat. So she said, as calmly as she could through the storm in her mind: “I want you, Adrien, there isn’t anyone better.”
Adrien stared at her. She couldn't place the look in his green eyes. 
“I hate doing commercials, you know?” He said softly, giving her whiplash with the change of subject. “Everytime I do, my fans get really, really hard to deal with. I get chased down the streets, get dozens of love letters stuffed in my locker and tons of people saying they love me. Love me. They don’t even know me, how can they say that?”
Ladybug’s tongue felt like lead. Fortunately, Adrien didn’t give her time to speak.
“And my dad just… gets so weird about it. He goes to press conferences saying things like ‘yes, yes, that’s my perfect son’ and talking about how the success was expected because it was me and looks at me… like he doesn’t at home.” He chuckled wetly and she realized there were tears sliding down his cheeks. “Why does everyone like me more when I’m like that? What am I doing wrong the rest of the time?”
Her body moved on it’s own and before she knew it, her arms were pulling him into a hug he gladly melted into, sobbing. 
“You’re not doing anything wrong, Adrien.” She said soothingly, caressing his hair. Hesitantly, he asked: “Did you think… that I only like you when you’re like that too?”
Adrien freezing in her arms was all the answer she needed. Her throat went dry. 
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I just wanted you to stay.” He said in a small voice, hiding his face in her neck. Her heart felt heavy.
“Adrien, I need you to pay attention right now, okay?” She waited until she felt him nod against her shoulder. “I really like you. Yes, you’re handsome, but you’re also sweet, smart and funny. You’re one of the kindest people I know and you’re always willing to help. I really admire that.”
He lifted his head from her shoulder to look at her earnest face.
“But I think that what always gets me by surprise is how brave you are. You always face things head on and not everyone does that. I know I don’t.”
He looked confused. “But… you’re Ladybug. I’ve never seen you turn down a challenge.”
“I’m not always Ladybug, you know? I can be a bit of a coward in my everyday life. But you? You take things on. Mortifying the ordeal of being known or not, Even if it’s embarrassing or not your best look, if you think it’ll help, you do it anyway.” And it was true, wasn’t it? Because admitting you’re friendless and completely lost on social interactions to someone that dislikes you is terrifying, but he did that anyway. With that, her heart was gone. “We may not know each other for that long, but I really care about you, Adrien. I-I love you.”
“Y-you love me?” Adrien said, eyes wide and shining with tears.
“I-I mean, yeah, I do. You don't have to say it back or anything-” She was cut off by a gentle kiss on her lips, one that never failed to make her heart flutter.
“I love you too.” He said, almost like a prayer. “I love you so much.”
Happiness burst in her chest and goosebumps ran through her skin, making her laugh in delight. He joined her, leaning his forehead against hers, eyes shining with joy.
We’ll be alright. She thought and, for once, truly believed that. 
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btsslowburnfic · 3 years
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BTBY Ch. 11
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Story Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.
Previous Chapter found here
Chapter summary: A bedside hospital chat
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“I feel so stupid for not even noticing.” Ben runs his hand down his face. “She never said anything to me about it.”
“Didn’t you guys agree that you didn’t care about it?” RM asks,
“Yeah, it’s just...so weird that it actually happened.”
“Well, she told me  when she met me that she already had a boyfriend and wasn’t interested. I’m sure she just didn’t want to worry you,” 
“I’m sorry. When did you say the two of you met?” Ben asks, seeming to ignore the part where RM said [Y/N] had rejected her soulmate for him.
“About 6 months  ago. She helped us prep for an award show.”
“Huh. Well.” Ben just stands there opening and closing his mouth like a fish, “I’ve uh been here for days. Do you mind staying here while I go home and grab a real shower?”
“No, of course not. Grab some real sleep too, you look like you need it.” 
Ben wanders off in a daze. He seemed like a perfectly normal guy.  RM wanders over to the nurse station to inquire about your doctor and their whereabouts. He is informed that your main Doc is out until tomorrow morning but they will page him and let him know [y/n]’s soulmate is here.
Namjoon goes back into your hospital room. The blood pressure cuff had just done it’s semi-regular squeezing. Nothing had changed. He pulls up a chair next to you. He didn’t feel any emotions rolling off of you right now. Maybe you were dreaming. Namjoon hears a light knock at the door, it was Taehyung with some coffee and water. “I thought I’d see if you wanted either of these.”
“Yeah, thanks. You can come in.” RM gestures to the other chair in the room.
 Taehyung sits the drinks down on a table.
“Where’s her fiancé? He asks looking around.
“He went home to shower and hopefully rest. He looks like he needs it.” Namjoon awkwardly fidgets with his hand. 
“How did he take everything?”
“He seemed very weirded out by it. I guess she never told him that she met me. And he never noticed her wrist.”
“People see what they want to see,” Taehyung remarked, snacking on some vending machine chips. Namjoon pondered on this for a moment and turned back to look at you. You look like you’re sleeping peacefully. He’s thankful for whatever pain medication they put you on. 
“I’m going to run back to the hotel for a bit and check in with the team. Do you want me to bring back anything?” he stands up and starts checking his pockets for all his stuff.
“Yeah throw some clothes, deodorant, and a phone charger in my backpack and bring it when you get a chance. No rush. Thanks. I really appreciate this.”
Taehyung comes over and hugs Namjoon around the shoulders. “You always look out for me. I’m happy to return the favor. I’ll be back in a while.” He walks out and closes the door behind him.
Namjoon lets out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding in. This whole fiasco was yet another example of why this whole soulmate thing was bullshit. He had been so angry at you right up until the minute he entered the hospital room and saw how small and frail you looked. It was easy to be mad at you when you were an abstract idea. It was much harder when you were the woman who he had laughed with and hung out with, lying in a hospital bed with tubes sticking out of you.
He stands up and walks over to the door, closing it. He looks back over at you, looks down at your matching wrists, and this time he feels much more sad than angry. He takes your hand in his and intertwines your fingers.
“Hey. I need you to wake up so I can yell at you. I was in the middle of a show when you did this. I’m sure the rumors have already started,” he teases you. “Running into me and hurting your wrist is one thing, running into a car is some next level shit.” He smiles. 
“Your fiancé seems nice and super normal. You never told him about us though so I think he’s very surprised. Don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything about that night.” Namjoon adds in quietly. “I think about that night a lot,” he adds. “At night, when I’m alone. I think about you. I think about how things might be different if I wasn’t in the band.” he strokes your arm gently.
  “You know? If you wanted to see me, your Director has my number, you didn’t have to go all dramatic on me. I wouldn’t have minded hearing from you actually.” he adds quietly. He looks at the matching marks on your wrists, so close now they are almost touching. “I remember the day I got this. I was 4.5 years old and I was so excited. I woke up with it and ran into my parents bedroom. We actually celebrated your birthday that day. I insisted on it. It was so dumb, but my parents are kind so they went along with it and we made a cake for you and I made a wish for you.” Namjoon takes a deep breath. “I wished that I would find you someday and you would be just as excited about me as I was about you. Every year on my birthday and on yours I thought about you; where you were. What you were doing. And my parents celebrated with me too. Because it was important to me.” Namjoon grabs a few tissues and blots his eyes where a few tears have started to fall. 
“Until I was around 14. I became too cool for any of that bullshit. I had crushes on other girls but I felt weird because I had a soulmate. I had other things I wanted to pursue and I didn’t want you holding me back. I didn’t even know you but I was already blaming you for stuff. How fucked up is that?” he laughs dryly,  “I remember that year my parents assumed we were going to celebrate your birthday and I told them that I wished I didn’t have my mark. That I wanted to live my life without you. I didn’t want a soulmate and the whole thing was stupid. I’ll never forget the looks on their faces. I don’t think they have ever been more ashamed. And so I stuck with that feeling for years.” Namjoon runs his fingers over the writing on your wrists.
“And then you so rudely ran into me last year. And chased me. I was absolutely terrified.” he smiles as he remembers, “I went and hid in my room. Suga had to make me come out. I tried to hide behind Jin so you wouldn’t see me. And you were not at all what I expected. You were independent and bossy and so comfortable doing your own thing. You didn’t need me. And I loved that. I don’t want you to need me. We should be with who we’re with because we want to be, not because of this forced tattoo.”
Namjoon gently sits your hand down and gets up to stretch and get some water. He dries his tears but still feels so sad. You must be ‘awake,’
He comes back over and sits next to you and starts talking about random stuff to see if you will respond. “Come on sweetheart, wake up.” 
 You hear a voice you haven’t heard this close to you in ages. You had heard it in interviews, you had stalked it on youtube videos, but it seemed so close. RM. You try to open your eyes but even that seems impossible. You try to focus on it, and hope that he just keeps talking. 
“The choreographer there sucked; he didn’t show up to do the blocking ahead of time. You would have been embarrassed. And then tore them a new one. While smiling,”
Yep, that was definitely him talking to you, but why? Was this a dream? You had dreamt about him all the time. You loved and hated it. It always left you feeling so sad the next day, a pain in your heart. Stupid soulmate. You need to wake up so you can get on with your day. You determine yourself, open your damn eyes.
Namjoon feels a mix of sad, confused, and irritated  as he sees your eyes start to flutter open. “Oh my God. [Y/n], yes wake up.” you hear him say. You open your eyes. The light is blinding. You let out a small whimper and close your eyes. “Oh, shit hold on,” you hear him get up and turn the lights down.
“Sorry sweetheart, there. Try again,” you hear him encourage you. You are definitely dreaming. RM is here and being nice to you and calling you sweetheart. Just like that night in February.
You open your eyes. He looks the same but his hair is blonde. “I like your hair.” you croak out. Your voice is gravely like it hasn’t been used in a while.
“Oh my God,” he just laughs. 
If this is a dream you want to stay in it. You close your eyes again.
“No, no, no, I need you to open your eyes.” you feel him gently shake your arm. 
You slowly become aware of the rest of your surroundings. You are in a bed. A hospital bed. You are definitely in a hospital, you notice a million things sticking out of your arms, electrodes on your chest, a cuff on your arm, is that dried blood on you? You feel him hold your hand, “Hey, calm down. Calm down. You’re in the hospital. You were in a car accident. You've been out of it for a few days.”
You start crying. You can’t help it. This is fucked up. Where is Ben? Why does your head feel like it’s splitting in half, why is RM here? Why are you glad to see him here instead of Ben? Why is this happening? You hear the heart rate monitor start to climb and you are trying to calm down but this is just so fucked up.
“Hey, calm down. You need to breathe. You are safe. I’m going to call the nurse, ok? Do you want me to leave?” he asks, gently holding your hand still.
You shake your head ‘no’ 
“You’re in pain.” he comments.
You squeeze your eyes shut and nod your head. 
“I’ll go get someone,” he tries to leave but you aren’t letting go of his hand. “Hey, he leans in so he’s close to your ear and whispers, “I’ll be right back ok? You need a nurse and you need pain medication. I Can feel how bad it hurts.” 
You lay there breathing through the pain. What’s the last thing you actually remember? You were at work and left to grab lunch. And then what? You realize you can’t remember. Shit. You were in a car accident? Was the other person ok? Oh God. If you were in a coma what happened to Namjoon.
You hear a bunch of people come into the room and immediately there are nurses taking your vitals, shining lights into your eyes, and changing your IV drip. Jesus. You felt like a big deal. 
“Alright, there we go,” you hear one of the nurses speak to you. “I’m Jennifer. I’m going to give you a few minutes with your friend here while this drip gets started and then I’ll be in with the doctor in awhile ok?”
You give a slight nod of your head, which is still pounding. You close your eyes again. Tears are involuntarily running down your face. This is all fucked.
“Hey,” you hear RM’s voice. 
You open an eye suspiciously. Not a dream you guess. “Hey,” you manage to croak out.
“You sound like shit,” he responds.
“You look like shit,’ you respond without thinking. He starts laughing. 
“I’m not even going to let you see a mirror, but I think you should know that of the two of us,  I am in much better shape.” he flashes his dimples at you and you once again feel like this has to be a dream.
“Shit. I’m sorry I got hit by a car. Did it hurt you?” you ask while gesturing to a container of water that has been left on the nightstand. He hands it to you.
“Yeah. I was performing in London and all of a sudden my legs stopped working and I collapsed. I had no idea what was going on until Jin stated the obvious.” 
“Sorry.”
“Hey, it’s ok. Just you know, don’t do it again.” he smiles.
“You cut your fingers a lot,” you comment without thinking.
“..I do. I’m a terrible chef but my production team thinks it’s hilarious to make me try and cook things.”
“Please make them stop.” you say half-joking.
He runs a hand through his hair, “I’ll see what I can do.” 
“Are you feeling better?” you ask.
“How the hell is it that you are in a hospital bed and you are asking me how I feel?” he asks incredulously.
You just sit there and shrug. The pain medication is starting to kick in making you feel drowsy. “Sorry I ruined your show,” you say as you start to feel very sleepy. “Thanks for coming. I missed you.” 
Namjoon sits there for a minute feeling like the world’s biggest douchebag and then takes out his phone to text Taehyung. He walks out to the nurse’s station. He emotionally prepares himself,  “Excuse me, has anyone called her fiancé? He went home last night to rest but I’m sure he’d want to know she’s awake.”
The nurse looks at the chart, “Ah yes, we had our social worker call a few minutes ago and leave  a message.”
“Great, thanks.”  Namjoon responds and decides to leave the hospital. 
--------
Taehyung is sitting at the desk in the hotel room writing when Namjoon comes back in. He looks up, “Hey, Sorry, I was on a meeting with the guys and then the producer for a while,” 
“It’s fine,” Namjoon says as he lays facedown on the bed. He keeps willing himself not to cry but he can’t help it. The tears fall hot on the cheap polyester bedspread. Taehyung closes his laptop and sits on the other bed facing him.
“What happened?” 
“I didn’t want to leave,” Namjoon says quietly.
“Did somebody make you leave?” Taehyung asks gently, not quite understanding.
“She has a fiancé. I’ve spent my whole life telling her I didn’t want her. This whole time all I’ve thought about is myself and one of the first things she asks me is if I’m ok. I feel like a complete asshole. I don’t deserve her as my soulmate.”
Tae just sits there for a minute and then walks over with a box of tissues. “Yeah. You have been kind of a dick about her.” he sighs. “Do you want me to stay here or do you need some space?”
“I want to be alone,” he chokes out. 
“If you change your mind, just text me,” Taehyung grabs his laptop and quietly leaves the room.
Namjoon stays like that, indulging his sadness for a few more minutes. He rolls over and takes out his phone. He has one picture of the two of you at the awards show together. From time to time he takes it out and remembers the night you spent together. He looks at it now. What would have happened that night if he would have asked to stay? For you to come with him. What would have happened if he hadn’t been so dead set against you. He sighs and then sees a text pop up on his phone.
[unidentified number]: hey this is really awkward. This is Xavier, [y/n]s friend. I usually come to visit around d this time of day and she's finally awake  but no one has heard from Ben. She is flipping out. I don’t want to leave her alone to go one a wild goose chase for her douchebag fiancé so can you please either come here or go to their apartment?
Jesus. Namjoon thought. He could just ignore this. He could walk away and be done with this. But he knew he couldn’t. He sighed, tears still staining his cheeks.
[RM]: Ok, yeah I’ll be there in 10 minutes. 
He went to the bathroom and washed his face. NEXT CHAPTER
@calling-dips-on-j-hope​ @ghostkat23​
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lukatheselkie · 4 years
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HMC - Pirates and Mermaids AU
@hetaliamondaychallenge
The amount of research that went into the thought “What if Sweden is (selectively) mute and uses sign language?” is just UGH. Europe’s recorded use of sign language is very lackluster until the 1750′s, and honestly it’s still sparse then. Because I wrote the beginning of this to be at the end of the Golden Age of Piracy, I needed time-appropriate sign language. I spent roughly an hour trying to find it. On the bright side, I now know that Swedish Sign Language likely descended from Old British Sign Language, which is why I use (a form of) it in this. Technically, its use wasn’t recorded until 1760, but I imagine they were using a form of it before then. Cited: “...there is solid evidence that deaf people in Britain were signing as early as in the 16th century...” So, I just gave it a (probably inaccurate) name. I had to. You’ll see why. I do not claim this is the name used at the time. I also used time-appropriate measurements.
Fun Fact: Swedish Sign Language didn’t exist until 1800. And it’s currently an endangered language, which is really sad. It’s so beautiful. (Seriously, go look up Swedish Sign Language on YouTube. I recommend watching song translations. They’re captivating. Try Tommy Krångh if you go the song route.)
Ship: SuFrUk (Sweden/England/France)
I’m most definitely turning this into a longer story! This is just highlights, I’ll be adding in more detail as I create chapters.
    Arthur grimaces when his ship creaks, shifting in the direction of the net his crew cast moments ago. It isn’t an uncommon occurrence, being this far from shore. They often catch larger fish with the net they had stolen from a fishing boat. It feeds them well for a few days, so it’s worth the mess, but the ship tilting and moving everything that isn’t tied down is always obnoxious. “Pull it up! Now!” He doesn’t even give them a second before snapping at them again. “Faster! Don’t let it get away!” There’s not much of a chance of it getting away though. Not unless it has sharp teeth, like a shark. Even then, they panic so much it’s difficult for them to escape. But his crew doesn’t know that. And if any of them do, they don’t dare defy his orders. The net comes out of the water, and he frowns. That’s not a fish. That’s…
    “Move! Don’t let its stingers touch you!” Everyone in the line of the moving net runs as far away from it as they can. Thankfully, no one gets stung. Once the net is mostly done swaying, Arthur storms up to the knot holding it and unties it quickly. He’ll wait for the stupid jellyfish to die before tossing it back into the ocean to be eaten by something stupid enough to try. There’s no good meat on it. He steps up next to it and pokes it with his foot, careful not to let it touch any of his skin. It’s huge. The tentacles are roughly three fathoms (18 ft/548.64cm) long, from what he can tell. They’re in a tangled mess he doesn’t envy. They remind him a bit of a lion’s mane.
    The creature moves, forcing him to take a few steps back or risk getting stung. Incredibly, a man sits up from within the tangle, not an injury on him. He blinks, looking around in confusion. His face goes pale and he reaches out for the tentacles frantically, pulling them up around himself. He doesn’t appear to be hurt by them. Arthur takes a cautious step closer, intrigued. “Who are you?” He can feel the eyes of his crew on him. The man drops his armload, and his shoulders move up and down in what appears to be a sign, though there’s no noise paired with it. Or maybe he’s not close enough to hear it? There’s not a single mark on him, despite what he did. It becomes apparent to Arthur he’s part of the jellyfish. But how? “What are you?” The man starts moving his hands at an incredibly fast pace, eyes darting around frantically. “I can’t understand you. Can you speak?” He shakes his head, then goes back to moving his hands.
    It takes Arthur a few minutes of watching closely to realize it’s sign language. The… jellyfish is repeating the same phrase, over and over and over. He focuses harder on the signs, recognizing some. It’s been a few years since he used sign language, so he’s a bit rusty. But what are the chances this creature would know his?
    “Want… let… go.” Ah.
    “You want us to let you go? I can’t do that. Look at you! You’re a wonderful discovery. No one will believe us without a specimen. And that’s you.” He wiggles a bit, and some of his tentacles lash out at Arthur. He steps back in time for them not to hit his face, but they do manage to hit his hands. He clenches his jaw at the pain, wishing he was wearing his gloves. He hears swords being drawn behind him. “Put them away,” he growls out, glaring at the jelly-man. “No one is to touch him unless told to. We want him alive. Now leaves us alone. Go to the lower decks and prepare a place for him.” His crew hurries to do as they’re told. He looks back at the man. “What’s your name?”
    “B-E-R-W-A-L-D.” He signs out the letters begrudgingly.
    “Thank you for cooperating. If you keep doing that, I will promise you no harm will come to you. But only if you aren’t difficult.” He fumbles around in a barrel for a moment for something to wrap his hands with. “If that happens, I will not sell you like I currently intend to. I will protect you.” He wraps his hands in some bandages he finds, then glances up at Berwald. He’s signing again, still frantic in his movements. “It has been some years since I last practiced. Go slower.”
    “...Going with you? Where will… stay?” It’s still difficult to make out everything, but there’s enough for him to be mostly confident in what he’s saying.
    “I’ll have something made for you.” He racks his brain quickly for ideas. He could always use the Roman way. “I’ll have a large pond made for you, supplied with fresh seawater anytime you wish. But that’s only if you aren’t troublesome. Keep that in mind before you do anything.” Berwald nods, then looks around the ship calmly. At least he’s accepted he’s not leaving. There’s so many unanswered questions though! Perhaps he’ll answer some. “As long as we’re answering questions, I have a few for you. If they make you uncomfortable, you do not have to answer. I do not have to know. I am only curious. Answer slowly, if you do. I am still recalling some signs. What are you? Where did you come from? Did you have a home? A family? How come you don’t sting yourself?” Berwald furrows his brows, then lifts up his hands hesitantly. After a moment, he starts signing.
    “...A version of what humans call merfolk. ...Came from the coast of Sweden. Where… now? ...Didn’t have what humans consider a home. Just the ocean. ...Drifted from my family years ago. We don’t keep in touch. Would it make sense for a jellyfish to be able to sting itself? That’s why… don’t. ...May be human in appearance, but… not.” Arthur frowns slightly at his answers. No family? What a lonely existence.
    “You are close to England. That’s where you’ll be taken back to. If you’re from Sweden, why do you know British Sign Language?”
    “It’s the only thing I could learn.” Finally Arthur recognizes all of the signs.
    “I suppose that makes sense. Sign Language isn’t very well distributed. Why did you learn it though? You aren’t deaf. You can understand me too well.”
    “You are correct. I am not deaf. However, I am mute. I do not wish to speak of why, so please do not ask.” That’s curiosity-inducing. But he’ll obey his wish.
    “Alright. You do not have to tell me, but if you ever wish to, I will listen. Watch?” Berwald laughs quietly, a noise that startles Arthur enough for him to jump, which makes him laugh even more. He must be selectively mute, then. It makes him even more eager to learn his story, but he won’t push it. A thought comes to him, and he feels ashamed for not realizing earlier. “Do you need water to survive?” It’s a question he should have asked much sooner.
    “Absolutely. I am made mostly of water. But I can breathe your air, so I do not have to be submerged. I do wish I could have my tentacles flowing in the water again, but I know you will not allow that until I am away from the ocean. After all, I could easily swim away. Well, float away. It is very difficult to swim without the assistance of the current.” Arthur furrows his brows slightly.
    “It’s not entirely out of the question. If you are willing to be in the net, I can have my crew lower you into the water again. If not, I will personally bring you plenty of water below deck. I do not trust anyone on my crew to. They fear you. However, being afraid of a giant jellyfish is reasonable.” Berwald scrunches up his nose slightly.
    “I am not a fan of this net. It tangled me up. I would rather wait until we get to your home. At least I can untangle them while we travel. How long do you think it will take?”
    “I understand. It will take a week, at most. Usually it would be shorter, but there are a few more stops I wish to make before returning home. I won’t be returning to sea. I’ll have you to take care of.” Berwald turns his head away, hiding his smile. He was worried about the selling comment, but now he knows it’s not true. Not if he’s already planning on taking care of him. He looks back at him, eyes wide.
    “What is your name? You know mine, but you have not told me yours.”
    “My apologies.” He bows his head slightly. “How rude of me. I am Arthur.”
    “Like King Arthur?”
    “Indeed. I am a bit surprised you have heard that tale. You know sign language and of our stories. How often do you watch humans?” Berwald flushes crimson.
    “It is a guilty pleasure of mine. I get lonely very easily. I miss having others to interact with. I suppose that is why I was so close to your lovely ship. It seemed so lively. I did not expect to be captured. Though it isn’t entirely bad I was. I got to meet you.” He gives an almost mischievous smile. If Arthur didn’t know any better, he would think the jellyfish is flirting with him. Perhaps he is. But it’s not obvious enough for him to comment on it, lest he be incorrect and embarrass himself.
    “That is true. As strange as it has been, I rather enjoyed meeting you as well.” He smiles slightly at him. “Ah, give me a moment. I will get my gloves, then I can help you to where you’ll be staying.” He hurries off, hoping his sleeves won’t ride up while he’s helping.
~ (Five or so days later)
    Arthur practically throws himself into Francis’ arms when he opens the door to his house. “Mon dieu! Arthur, you startled me! I’m happy to see you, of course, but you didn’t have to nearly give me a heart attack the moment I opened the door. You could have at least let it register in my mind that you were here.” Despite his condescending words, he wraps his arms around him lovingly.
    “I’m sorry. I’m just excited. I have something to show you. Come with me.” He pulls out of the hug gently, hands lingering on his wrists. “On my ship. I’m retiring from pirating because of him. We can finally be together without worry.” He presses a kiss to his lips, then runs off. Francis smiles, shaking his head as he follows. That man.
    “Alright. What is it you wanted me to see? You show up in the middle of the night and drag me to your ship, it better be something interesting!”
    “Oh, it is! I promise.” He turns around to press another kiss to his lips, then disappears below deck. Francis rolls his eyes, and opens the door carefully, being quieter than Arthur. He chases after him, laughing at his energy. When he stops, Francis does as well. A subtle movement drags his attention away from his love, and he gasps. There’s an at least partially naked man laying on top of a beautiful jellyfish in a wide but shallow trough, filled with water. Upon closer inspection, he’s part of the jellyfish.
    “How…? What?” Arthur grins at him.
    “His name is Berwald. He wound up in our fishing net when he got too close. Look at him! Isn’t he beautiful?”
    “Oui, and dangerous! How did he get down here?” His love smiles sheepishly.
    “I sort of dragged him here? With his permission. I was covered, don’t worry. Clothes are enough of a covering to not be stung.” Francis sighs dramatically.
    “I knew it was a terrible idea for you to be pirating this time. You’ve done it twice before, what on Earth was a third time going to do for you?”
    “Apparently, give me a giant man-jelly.” Francis groans softly.
    “Oui, I see that. Whatever are you going to do with him?” The man shifts again, and his eyes open. They’re stunning. Like stormy sea waves. Their beauty knocks the breath out of him. Berwald’s hands start moving, too fast for Francis to comprehend what’s happening.
    “Who is this? I thought you decided not to sell me? I do not want to leave you! You are my friend! Or so I thought. Why would you sell me without telling me? And in my sleep too!?” Arthur slings his arms out.
    “You’ve got it all wrong, Berwald! I’m not selling you. I already promised I wouldn’t. I won’t go back on my word. This is my lover, Francis. I wanted you two to meet. I’m sorry for waking you. I didn’t know you were asleep. I should have spoken to you before leaving to get him, instead of just looking at you. That is my fault. We are friends. And I was hoping you two could become friends as well. I did not mean to worry you. I apologize.” Francis watches a bit of colour return to the jelly-man’s face and hears him sigh, presumably in relief.
    “Thank goodness. Your lover, you say? Humans are strange creatures. Though I must admit, this intrigues me. Do humans ever have more than one lover at a time?” Arthur stares at Berwald for a long moment. What an interesting question.
    “I suppose they can. It is uncommon, but I do not see why they couldn’t.” Francis tugs on his sleeve lightly.
    “How are you communicating with him? What did he say?”
    “Ah, right. You don’t know British Sign Language. That’s what he’s using. He’s selectively mute. Don’t ask him why, he doesn’t want to tell the story. He may change his mind in the future, but for now, that topic is off limits. Is there anything else you would like to ask him? And he wanted to know if humans ever have more than one lover at a time.” Francis releases his sleeve, and steps closer to the trough. What a fascinating question.
    “Berwald, was it?” A nod. “Strange that you have a human name. What are you? Where did you come from?” The jelly stares at Arthur expectantly.
    “He’s a version of what humans consider mermaids, and he’s from the coast of Sweden.”
    “You two aren’t humans, are you?” Arthur mentally scolds himself. He separated himself from them one too many times in his speech.
    “No, we aren’t humans,” he says slowly, making sure to include the topic for Francis’ sake. The Frenchman tenses up, but doesn’t say anything. “We’re actually personifications of countries. I’m England, and he’s France.” His eyes widen slightly.
    “I am Sweden.”
    “Sweden…?” He’s heard about the countries that were mer-creatures, but he never expected to come across one!
    “Sweden? Are you Sweden? Now you having a human name makes sense.”
    “So your family…?”
    “Denmark, Finland, Norway, and Iceland.”
    “Wow. What are the chances we would meet?” Francis clears his throat quietly. “I’m going to have to teach you British Sign Language, aren't I?”
    “If you wish for us to be friends, oui. I do not want you to have to translate everything he says.” He gives Arthur a polite smile, then pecks his lips. “Please teach me.”
    “Of course I will. Would you like to come visit? I’m on my way home now. I just had to visit you and tell you the news before going.” Francis laughs.
    “Oui, I’ll come visit. Would you be alright with me moving in? Not immediately, of course, but after a few months? Maybe a year? Give you some time to settle back in.” Arthur’s eyes light up, and he hugs his love close.
    “That would make me the happiest man in the world!” He laughs, picking Francis up to spin him around. He places him back down, and kisses him again.
   “Mmm, as much as I would love to keep doing this, I must return home. You interrupted my beauty sleep! Have a wonderful trip back. Please be safe.” He kisses him on the forehead, then runs off.
~ (Two months later)
    The moment Berwald is in his large sea ‘pond’, he shakes his sore muscles out. He looks up at Arthur, and smiles thankfully at him. He propels himself through the water, doing his best to twirl around so he can see him in full. He struggles to the surface, grabbing the edge to keep himself up. Arthur smiles, taking note of the jellyfish bell flaring out around him. That’s something he hadn’t noticed on the ship. It’s maybe a yard and a half in diameter, including where his torso joins with it. “I see you’re enjoying yourself.” He nods, unable to sign because he’s holding himself above water. “Good. It was hell getting that made, and getting you in it without anyone seeing you. Thankfully, no one did. I will admit, at first I wanted to sell tickets for people to see you. But now, I want you to be a secret. I would have offered to release you back into the sea, but I didn’t want you getting lonely again. And… we’re friends. Don’t tell anyone, but I actually care about you. And I would hate to lose you. So don’t ever scare me by disappearing!” Berwald smiles fondly, and reaches out for Arthur’s hand. He squeezes it, then kisses the back of it. He pulls away, and looks him in the eyes.
    “I promise, friend.” The relief in Arthur’s eyes is overwhelming. He waves awkwardly at him and sinks back down into the water, just as Francis comes out of the house.
    “There you are! Did he make it in okay? He’s not hurt, is he?”
    “He’s fine, love. And no one saw. He’s safe here.” He motions at the tall fence surrounding the yard.
    “Good. I’m glad.” He glances at the water, giving a small smile to Berwald. “I made us some food. All three of us. Can we have a picnic? Then you can teach me some signs. I’m more than ready to learn.”
~ (1800)
    For the past few weeks, Berwald’s signing has gradually gotten harder and harder to interpret. Arthur always manages to figure out what he’s trying to say, but it’s incredibly concerning. He’s not entirely certain why it’s changing, though he has an idea. Instead of trying to figure out discreetly, he decides to outright say it one day when he goes to feed him. “Is Sweden developing its own sign language? Yours has gotten harder and harder to understand, and that’s the only thing I can think of.” He frowns, brows furrowed. He stays like that for maybe five minutes, before carefully lifting a hand to sign.
    “Perhaps. I am a bit upset it is changing. When it is done, will you teach me British Sign Language again? I will know both then.” Arthur chuckles.
    “You don’t need to ask. I am glad you want to know both though. Waiting until it has developed is probably the best idea. You won’t get them confused then.” Berwald nods, and slips back into the water. He lifts a hand up to sign at Arthur.
    “That is exactly what I was thinking. Now excuse me, I saw a fish. It must have gotten mixed in with the water when you changed it.” The Brit laughs, watching him chase after the fish. Maybe he’ll start gathering live fish to put in there with him. It might make him happier.
~(1850’s)
    “Arthur! Arthur, look!” Francis stumbles out the back door, newspaper in hand. “It’s possible to make larger aquariums than we previously thought! Perhaps we could have one made for Berwald? That way he doesn’t have to lift himself out of the water to communicate with us. We’ll be able to see him anywhere! Doesn’t that sound exciting?” Arthur places a hand on either shoulder, and kisses Francis’ nose.
    “That does sound exciting. I’m sure Berwald is tired of communicating with one hand. It is a good idea. I will look into it tomorrow. However, won’t you sit and have a nice meal with us?”
    “Oui! I would never pass up a meal with my two favourite boys.” He kisses Arthur on the forehead, then kneels to do the same thing to Berwald. A question the jelly-man asked years ago is brought back to Arthur’s mind. Do humans ever have more than one lover at a time? After a moment of thought, he lands on a similar answer to what he gave last time. They can.
~ (A few months later)
    Arthur tilts the barrel with all his might, nearly falling into the newly-filled tank when Berwald slips out. He heaves a huge sigh, unsure if it’s from relief or lack of oxygen from the nerves. He makes his way back to the ground, grateful for the solidness of it. He doesn’t look at the huge tank quite yet. “Francis.” He loops an arm around his waist, closing his eyes as he turns toward the glass.
    “On the count of three?”
    “One.”
   “Two.”
   “Three!” They say it together, and open their eyes. Both of them gasp, finally seeing Berwald surrounded in water from the side for the first time since making his acquaintance. His tentacles are billowing out around him, moving slightly with the gentle current they decided to have installed. His torso is stockier and chubbier than they thought, but neither is complaining. His shoulders are broad, and his arms long and toned. His blonde hair shimmers in the light refracting through the water from the ceiling of the building. He’s an absolutely stunning sight.
    “Goodness, Arthur! He’s beautiful!” Francis steps closer to the glass, placing his hand on it gently.
    “He is.” He walks up next to his love, but doesn't touch the glass. Berwald lets himself sink to the bottom, and places his hand where Francis’ is. He smiles brightly at them, eyes crinkling at the edges because of it. “Very beautiful. Berwald, can you hear us?” He laughs, a sound that, surprisingly, reaches their ears.
    “Yes! I can hear you better than I could before! It’s like I’m back in the ocean! Except I have friends to keep me company! And human food to eat! I couldn’t be happier! Thank you!” His expression is full of excitement as he signs.
    “You’re very welcome, dear. It’s the least we can do. You’ve been so wonderful and understanding. I’m glad we can bring you company.” Francis replies, placing his other hand on the glass. Berwald eagerly mirrors that as well. “You mean a lot to us.” Arthur smiles, nodding his agreement.
    “You do. Francis, is it time?”
    “Oui, I think so!” Berwald tilts his head slightly, obviously confused. He doesn’t pull away from Francis to sign though.
    “Do you recall asking me if humans ever have more than one lover at a time?” He nods slowly, confusion still dancing in his eyes.
    “Arthur and I have decided we both love you very much, and would like to ask if you will be our lover?”
    “It can be the three of us in a relationship. We’ll be more than friends. It might be a bit strange, but we’re willing to try. We love you enough to try.” The confusion finally falls away, and he pushes himself back from the glass. He grabs two of his tentacles, and focuses on putting them over his head in a shape of some sort. Oh! It’s a heart!
    “I love you both too. My answer is yes.” He smiles at them, bottom lip trembling slightly.
    “Please don’t cry! Even if they’re happy tears. You’ll get me going too.” Francis dabs at his eyes as if he’s already crying. Then, he grabs Arthur’s hand and presses his palm flat against the glass. “Show your love, Arthur. I already have. It’s your turn.” The Brit rolls his eyes, but places his other hand on the glass nonetheless. Berwald matches him, grinning. After a moment, he scrunches up his nose and sticks his tongue out.
    “Hey! Put that back! No fair! I can’t kiss you until you stop out here.” Not even that is enough to dampen his mood though. He’s over the moon with joy. Judging by the expression on Francis’ face, so is he. And Berwald, too. He moves his arm over a bit, motioning at Francis to put his hand there. He does, and Arthur takes his other hand. In their own way, they’re making a circle of love.
~ (Early 1960’s)
    Arthur never thought he would be thanking Alfred for anything, but here he is. Incredibly grateful to one of his inventors, for making a suit he and Francis can actually visit with Berwald in without fear of getting stung. Well, mostly. Their faces will still be exposed, and they need gloves and boots, but those aren’t too difficult to get a hold of. “Berwald! We’re coming!” Francis laughs, grabbing him by the waist.
    “You’re too excited, mon cher. You might startle him. Take a few deep breaths to calm down before entering the water with him. I’ll count. Let’s start with five. One.” Arthur takes a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds before releasing it. “Two.” He feels himself relaxing slightly as he holds this one. “Three.” His muscles untense, though he was unaware they were. “Four.” His excitement becomes a dull ache. “Five.” Now it’s no longer an ache, more like a happy memory. “Better?” He nods, then kisses him in thanks.
    “I’m sorry. I’ve just wanted to be close to him for so long.”
    “As have I. But he is still part animal. He has those instincts. We should try our hardest not to spook him, oui?”
    “You’re right. I should have thought of that.”
    “Nonsense. You’re excited. That’s completely fine. I just didn’t want you to be disappointed. Are you ready?” He nods, and starts climbing the ladder up to the top of the tank. Francis follows close behind. He doesn’t get in the water yet, despite drawing Berwald’s curiosity. He sits on the rim, smiling down at him.
    “We’re coming in. Finally, we get to be by your side. We’ll have to come to the surface for air quite often though, so could you stay near the top? If that’s possible. I know the current circulates the entire tank.” He nods, looking just as excited as Arthur feels. Francis sits next to him, and squeezes his hand.
    “Ready?”
    “Ready.” They look at each other, count to three together, and slide into the water after taking a deep breath. The goggles were a good call. They may not be perfect, but they’re much better than without them. Berwald struggles against the current to swim toward them, desperation in his eyes. They meet in the middle, and practically melt into one another. By the time Francis goes to pull away for a breath, they breach the surface. Apparently Berwald got them closer without either realizing.
    “Merci,” Francis practically whispers, lost in his eyes. Arthur nudges him lightly. “Ah, oui! Berwald, may I kiss you? You’ve seen Arthur and I do it bef-” He presses his lips to Francis’ tenderly, effectively silencing him. The Frenchman closes his eyes, wrapping his arms around his neck. After maybe two minutes, they pull away from each other. Berwald looks at Arthur with a questioning expression. He rolls his eyes, pecks a pouting Francis on the lips, then kisses the Swedish man lovingly. Berwald must be counting, because he pulls away at nearly the same time as he did from Francis.
    “You are both wonderful at that. I am very grateful to have you. You have taught me so many things, and with those clothes, you can teach me more. Thank you so much. I love you.”
    “I love you too,” they say in sync. Then, looking at each other, “And you!” They laugh, and kiss each other. Berwald presses his nose to Arthur’s cheek when they part, and kisses him again. He does the same to Francis when their kiss is over. His heart is so full yet so light. He’s never felt this way before. He loves it. Almost as much as he loves Arthur and Francis.
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haec-est-fides · 3 years
Text
Filodox’s Trials of Apollo Reactions [Part I]
Welcome to part one of a reflective journey through Trials of Apollo ft. my original ebook annotations! I’ll be your host, 2020!filodox.
For this first episode, we’ll be going back to May 2016, the beginning of it all: The Hidden Oracle.
Annotations for this round are brought to you by 2016!filodox.
Is there anything we should know before we begin, 2016!me?
2016!filodox: I swore on the Styx never to read another Riordan book after he killed Octavian. And yet here we are.
... Alright then! Let’s get started.
But first, a more detailed overview on how this series will work: I will excerpt bits and pieces of the books based on what I highlighted / annotated on my first read. Beneath each quote, I will share what I wrote in the annotation. Below that, I will (occasionally) laugh at my past self, clarify the note, or say how my view has changed.
I encourage questions, comments, and concerns (of which there may be many), so go ahead and use that replies feature if you feel so inclined! However, these are just my opinions and (occasionally) emotional reactions, so no hate pls. <3 (Or, if you do send hate, pls make it funny.)
Now, diving right in with Riordan’s dedication!
To The Muse Calliope. This is long overdue. Please don’t hurt me.
2016!filodox: Hurt him. He didn’t even name the chapters.
As you can see, I had yet to experience Lester’s haiku and was already mad based on the table of contents alone. I went into this series very salty...
I inflicted a plague on the Greeks who besieged Troy.
2016!filodox: At least he did something right. Once.
I was just,,,extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill. (Though I was a huge Troy / Aeneas stan before all this, just to be clear.)
Is anything sadder than the sound of a god hitting a pile of garbage bags?
2016!filodox: I actually find this particular god crashing into a dumpster quite amusing.
I also blamed Apollo for what happened to Octavian. I think that had a lot to do with how Apollo acted on Delos in Heroes of Olympus, basically disowning Octavian and whining about how some “creature” scammed him? That was bullshit. Apollo needed to own the fact that he blessed Octavian, but he just abandoned him and denied all the blame. TL;DR I had a grudge, okay?
My mind stewed in confusion, but one memory floated to the surface -- the voice of my father, Zeus: YOUR FAULT. YOUR PUNISHMENT.
2016!filodox: Wait, is this bc everyone blames Octavian and therefore Apollo? Bc lol but also no?
*cough* Octavian did nothing wrong 2k16 *cough*
Zeus will reconsider, I told myself. He’s just trying to scare me. Any moment, he will yank me back to Olympus and let me off with a warning.
“Yes...” My voice sounded hollow and desperate. “Yes, that’s it.”
2016!filodox: Apollo is a self centered frat boy, I forgot...but it is slightly...endearing? *narrows eyes*
Ah, how close I was to stanning Lester in the first chapter, when he was at his most “goddy”. You know, I actually made a rule for myself when I started reading Trials of Apollo that I would not under any circumstances stan Apollo. That was a naive goal, because it was never really a danger.
Regardless, Zeus had held me responsible for Octavian’s delusions of grandeur. Zeus seemed to consider egotism a trait the boy had inherited from me. Which is ridiculous. I am much too self-aware to be egotistical.
2016!filodox: I am going to Murder him.
*chef kiss* the hypocrisy ! the lack of self-awareness !
“I just...I assumed -- I hoped this would be taken care of by now.”
“You mean by demigods,” Percy said, “going on a big quest to reclaim the Oracle of Delphi?”
2016!filodox: That sounds like a decent quest, or you know, QUESTING FOR THE SIBYLLINE BOOKS
I’ve always said I can see the future but an inch to the left. Also, I don’t like Ella.
It warmed my heart that my children had the right priorities: their skills, their images, their views on YouTube. Say what you will about gods being absentee parents; our children inherit many of our finest personality traits.
2016!filodox: AND HE’S MAD ABOUT OCTAVIAN?!
I mean ?
Apollo, when Austin and Kayla show ambition: THEY GOT THAT FROM ME <3
Apollo, when Octavian (or Nero, or Caligula) shows ambition: srry i don’t know him ??
He had a weak jawline, an overlarge nose, and a beard that wrapped around his double chin like a helmet strap. His hair was curly and dark like mine, except not as fashionably tousled or luxuriant. His lips curled as if he smelled something unpleasant. Perhaps it was the burning seats of the bus.
2016!filodox: Nero ???
Not quite sure how to feel looking back at this moment. Call out post @ myself for instantly recognizing Nero, when afaik this scene was before we had any hints that Roman emperors were even a plot point? But here’s the thing: I don’t remember why I could recognize him so easily. I don’t remember where 2016!me obtained this ancient Rome knowledge. A mystery.
On another note entirely, did Nero really like,,,astral project into Apollo’s fever dream to address him directly? Because Rhea does. And sometimes Python does. But Nero? Can he do that?
The man laughed as flames licked at his purple sleeves. “You’re not sorry yet, but you will be. Find me the gates. Lead me to the Oracle. I’ll enjoy burning it down!”
2016!filodox: I too enjoy burning things down. # Nero confirmed
My only comment here is “oh you sweet summer child,,,”
Oh. Perhaps some of you are wondering how I felt seeing [Will] with a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend.
2016!filodox: No, actually. I wasn’t wondering. I was plotting how to kill you, them, and quite a few other people. Do you think I could trade you for Octavian?
Oh man, back at it again with the salt. XD
I could only remember my conversations with Octavian, the way he’d turned my head with his flattery and promises. That stupid boy...it was his fault I was here.
A voice whispered in the back of my mind. This time I thought it might be my conscience: Who was the stupid boy? It wasn’t Octavian.
2016!filodox: I can’t really...explain my emotions upon reading this. I’m still not quite okay, but this...it’s bittersweet in a way. I don’t know if this is a poor attempt at a proper closure, the author’s way of beating a dead horse, or just a way to make Apollo seem pitiable. Whatever it is... Octavian was important enough to remain in Apollo’s mortal memory. He somehow made promises to a god and had Apollo wrapped around his finger. And despite being so much like Apollo, the god blames him. Like everyone blames him. But Apollo also realizes, accepts on an infinitesimal scale, that “it wasn’t Octavian”. He wasn’t perfect, but neither is Apollo. Apollo is (at least) subconsciously admitting his own guilt in the whole affair.
...yeah. I will note that this bit isn’t meant to develop Octavian, but rather uses Octavian as a prop to support Apollo’s development? Which is why it still stings. Like thanks, I guess.
“Your judgement in the past has been...questionable. I wonder if you have chosen the right tools for this job. Have you learned from your past mistakes?”
2016!filodox: Nero has made plenty of mistakes to learn from
Love how I just assumed it was Nero back in chapter 10 and went with it, zero hesitation. Also love how I heard Python say Nero has made mistakes and went “oh absolutely”. In fact, here’s something funny in retrospect that will become more and more apparent: I did not like Nero in 2016. Or, at least, I thought I didn’t. There’s something really odd going on here that baffles me, looking back...
“A triumvirate is a ruling council of three,” I said. “At least, that’s what it meant in ancient Rome.”
“Which is interesting,” Rachel said, “because of this next shot.” She tapped her screen. The new photo zoomed in on the building’s penthouse terrace, where three shadowy figures stood talking together....
2016!filodox: Is it bad that I’m smirking? Because it’s getting interesting ~ *clear malicious intent*
Wow, edgy. Triumvirates are just a neat, Roman thing and I stanned.
“The last triumvirate I dealt with included Lepidus, Marc Antony, and my son, the original Octavian. A triumvirate is a very Roman concept...like patriotism, skullduggery, and assassination.”
2016!filodox: THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE. MODERN OCTAVIAN IS A VERY GOOD ANCIENT ROMAN. POLITICS, ESPECIALLY SHADY AF POLITICS AND POWERPLAYS, ARE QUINTESSENTIALLY ROMAN. Also, I’d like to note that it’s confirmed, in this universe’s canon, that Augustus was a son of Apollo.
Ohhhh, wait. I think I’d watched the HBO series Rome by 2016, which would at least partially explain my ancient Rome knowledge. (Amazing tv show btw!)
“He heard them talking in Latin.”
“Latin? Were they campers?”
Pete spread his hands. “I--I don’t think so. Paulie described them like they were adults. He said one of them was the leader. The other two addressed him as imperator.”
2016!filodox: !!!! (obligatory 💕)
I was such a simp for Latin in high school. And the Roman Empire. Still am, but hey.
“The Beast is planning some kind of attack on your camp. I don’t know what it is, but it’s going to be big.”
2016!filodox: Runs in the family I guess
The Octavian / Triumvirate parallels are everywhere... 👀
“The emperors made themselves gods. They had their own temples and altars. They encouraged the people to worship them.”
2016!filodox: # deify me
*smacking my past self with a stick* You stop that! Edgy child!
Anyway, a much better point here is like,,,the Imperial cult was huge in the ancient Roman world. Looking at Apollo’s explanation here, why did only the “worst” three emperors get to be immortal? Did famously “good” emperors like Augustus and Marcus Aurelius have the option of becoming minor gods, but they chose Elysium or something? Are there slightly less infamous emperors just hanging around anywhere as minor gods? A lot of Roman emperors live on in human memory is all I’m saying.
“Wait!” Will said as I reached the door. “Who is the Beast? Which emperor are we dealing with?”
“The worst of my descendants.” My fingers dug into the doorframe. “The Christians called him the Beast because he burned them alive. Our enemy is Emperor Nero.”
2016!filodox: I honestly can’t believe it took this long to reveal this? Was anyone surprised?
Nero’s reveal is rather late in the book compared to Commodus, Caligula, and even Tarquin iirc? But it makes sense, being the first book of the series. Also love how 16-year-old me was like “this reveal is silly because everyone, like me, recognizes Nero on sight” and didn’t question that assumption at all.
“Germani.” Instinctively, I moved in front of Meg. The elite imperial bodyguards had been cold-blooded death reapers in ancient Rome. I doubted they’d gotten any sweeter over the centuries.
2016!filodox: BITCH. See? This is why I love Rome. They knew what they were doing.
Ngl, as someone of Germanic heritage, I felt really represented by the Germani, which is hilarious on so many levels.
He tried to compensate for his ugliness with an expensive Italian suit of purple wool, his gray shirt open to display gold chains. His shoes were hand-tooled leather, not the sort of thing to wear while stomping around in an ant pile. Then again, Nero had always had expensive, impractical tastes.
2016!filodox: I don’t exactly like Nero, and actually think he was quite the shitty emperor, but I guess I mildly respect and “like” him on principle (in this book at least).
OH YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I was so convinced that I didn’t actually like Nero, despite all of the lowkey evidence to the contrary? Who hurt you, past me? (Lmao, it was Tacitus, Suetonius, and Cassius Dio.) My working theory is that I was too much of an Emperor Augustus stan at the time to admit liking Nero. It’s hysterical. Look at me equivocating like a champ.
I’d been so proud of my son, the original Octavian, later Caesar Augustus. After his death, his descendants became increasingly arrogant and unstable (which I blamed on their mortal DNA; they certainly didn’t get those qualities from me).
2016!filodox: I’m glad Apollo and I can agree on something. Augustus was amazing and those who came after him...significantly less so.
See! The propaganda really got to me, what can I say?
Nero clasped his hands as if in prayer. “Oh, my. It seems we’ve had a slight miscommunication. You see, Apollo, Meg brought you here, just as I asked her to. Well done, my sweet.”
2016!filodox: This was obvious but I still find it...gods, the only word I can think of is “delicious”
. . .
“The Beast killed my father. This is Nero. He’s -- he’s my stepfather.”
I could not fully grasp this before Nero spread his arms.
“That’s right, my darling,” he said. “And you’ve done a wonderful job. Come to Papa.”
2016!filodox: Okay, but we should have known this since it became apparent her weapons were Roman. Also, oof. Also also, WHY did Riordan feel the need to add that last line? Why?
ASDFGHJKL: I CAN’T
“After the fire, we’ll rebuild,” he said. “It will be glorious!”
2016!filodox: The amount of times I have used this very logic is worrying.
For (some) context, Firelord Ozai is my favorite character from AtLA. <3
The scene might have been funny except that the Germani were now back on their feet, five demigods and a geyser spirit were still tied to highly flammable posts, and Nero still had a box of matches.
2016!filodox: Oh, I find this plenty amusing!
The emperor stared at his empty hand. “Meg...?” His voice was as cold as an icicle.
2016!filodox: The various ways his tone / voice have been described throughout this conversation are just 💕
*looks at camera like I’m on The Office*
Seriously, though. Nero’s voice is like the central descriptive element of his character because he’s so manipulative. It’s really cool and a great use of detail.
[Meg] turned to Nero. “You told me never to lower myself to my enemies’ level.”
“No, indeed.” Nero’s tone had frayed like a weathered rope. “We are better. We are stronger. We will build a glorious new world. But these nonsense-spewing trees stand in our way, Meg. Like any invasive weeds, they must be burned. And the only way to do that is with a true conflagration -- flames stoked by blood.”
2016!filodox: Real 👏🏻 Gods 👏🏻 Require 👏🏻 Blood👏🏻
I was way too enthusiastic about this whole situation, wasn’t I?
Nero grinned. “Good-bye, Apollo. Only eleven more Olympians to go.”
2016!filodox: Wait, shit, WHAT
Having read Tower of Nero, this probably had something to do with Python interfering with the Fates, huh? But does that mean it’s more Python’s plan or Nero’s? If this was Nero’s plan (with his 12 kids literally replacing the Olympians) that’s,,,really fucking bold.
Then I heard the screaming from Camp Half-Blood.
2016!filodox: Music to my ears ~
I’m presenting every edgy detail of my annotations so I have a proper case file when I inevitably have to face the question “On a scale of one to ten, how relatable is Emperor Nero and why should you have realized it’s a ten sooner?”
In a flash of silver light, the camp’s magical barriers collapsed. The Colossus lurched forward and brought his foot down on the dining pavilion, smashing it to rubble like so many children’s blocks.
2016!filodox: Payback! Dear gods, I can’t stop smiling! I’m just like “YES!” I know this will all probably get fixed or whatever but I’M HAVING A MOMENT.
I’ve learned to appreciate the small wins. <3
Percy grabbed one of the crown’s sunray spikes. He sliced it off at the base, then jabbed it into the Colossus’ forehead.
2016!filodox: As much as Nero is FAR from my favorite, I really don’t like defacing ancient (or replicas of ancient) statues and art...
This is where I just start laughing at myself tbh. I was so insistent on not liking Nero. Like, I sound like I’m in denial. Peak equivocation. What happened to that heart emoji a few chapters back? Why did I suddenly make it about *checks notes* ancient art? Updated translation: nooo don’t ruin the Colossus Neronis it’s so sexy aha
Just as the [arrow] reached its apex and was about to fall back to earth, a gust of wind caught it...perhaps Zephyros looking kindly on my pitiful attempt. The arrow sailed into the Colossus’ ear canal and rattled in his head with a clink, clink, clink like a pachinko machine.
2016!filodox: HOW MANY EX MACHINAS IS THIS ?! The dryads, the arrow, Percy, the enchantment, and THIS ?
One of my criticisms of Trials of Apollo in general is just that the stakes are so much higher and Riordan usually solves that problem by having his heroes win on long odds. The chances of them succeeding at like,,,anything they attempt are astronomical, but of course they manage. It’s not surprising but it does get a little tiring.
“Yo, Nico,” Leo called, “please tell me that’s it for the physical abuse.”
“For now.” Nico smiled. “We’re still trying to get in touch with the West Coast. You’ll have a few dozen people out there who will definitely want to hit you.”
2016!filodox: Oh I’d love to hit him. With the flaming, Imperial gold payload of an onager. Preferably WITHOUT the Pontifex Maximus attached to it -- unless of course you mean the false pontifex, Jason Grace.
Leo was the salt in the wound for this one, ngl. He rekindled my undying ire over Octavian’s death. As I said at the beginning of this, I was extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill after Heroes of Olympus. That sentiment sticks around for a while...
And we can call that a wrap!
Though it may seem like it, my annotations are not, in fact, a compilation of Nero’s greatest hits. There are a lot of scenes of his that I love (naturally) but I didn’t have anything to say about them when I first read the series. Maybe I’ll share those another time.
In any case, I hope you got something out of this ridiculously long post! Until next time! <3
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heyyyharry · 5 years
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Chapter 14: For Better Or Worse
(from the Flatmate Trilogy: Two Hearts, One Home)
…in which Harry and Niall have a guys night, Y/N starts showing, and Layla loves her wedding dress.
Word count: 4k
Chapter 13: Prenatal Visit - Y/N and Harry run into her ex at the doctor’s office.
Wattpad link
ANNOUNCEMENT: I have a college project coming up so I will not update next week. The next chapter (the Halloween special) will be posted on Tuesday, October 8. If nothing changes from now until the last chapter, there will be 17 chapters in total. for this last book. Now, enjoy this chapter and leave your comments! - Allie.
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Harry hadn't been this excited since the night before his wedding. He was normally the type of person who would just go with the flow, but ever since his wife got pregnant, he had been counting each day and marking his calendar to keep track of her pregnancy. Today was the first day circled in red on the calendar, and the satisfaction of crossing it off first thing in the morning got him feeling elated.
Today, they would get to see their baby for the first time.
Y/N was already twelve weeks pregnant and started showing. Every night, he would rub her tummy and talk to it even after she had reminded him that their baby hadn't even got ears. He knew that. But the thought of Asteria or Jasper growing inside of her filled him with so much joy. He had to let his baby know how much he loved them.
It was the night before the first scan. While his wife was sleeping right next to him, he stayed up to watch ultrasound videos on YouTube. He didn't expect to get so emotional just from watching someone else's child moving for the first time. That was how he knew, when he finally got to see his own child, he surely wouldn't be able to hold back his tears.
Harry ended up falling asleep while watching those videos, and Y/N woke up to find him snoring softly with his phone on his face. She had to wake him up and drag him out of bed so they wouldn't be late for the scan appointment.
Thank God, it wasn't a busy day in the hospital. The atmosphere in the waiting room was different from the last time they'd been there for her pregnancy test. It was soothing, with perfumed scent air and unhurried nurses moving with a serene purposefulness from room to room. Nevertheless, Harry's mind was racing a mile a minute, and Y/N could feel it when he squeezed her hand.
"Relax, honey. I'm not giving birth right away," she joked, making him chuckle.
"I am relaxed though. What are you talking about?" he told her. But even himself was aware that 'relaxed' was an overstatement. Taking a seat by the examining table, he watched his wife lie down on her back and tilt her head to give him another smile. He gave her one in return to pretend that he was fine, but his knee was popping rapidly like he'd consumed a ton of caffeine before he got there.
The sonographer spread a gel over her tummy and then rolled a small scanning device around the area where the gel was. All three of them turned to the computer screen. As soon as the first images were shown, the shakiness in Harry's limbs immediately vanished. His entire body stiffened as he held his breath, peering at the screen. That was his baby. And they were moving. He had seen too many videos last night, so why was he still in shock?
"Although you won't be feeling your baby move just yet, they're dancing around inside you," said the sonographer.
Y/N had already teared up when she turned to Harry, wanting to see his reaction. But he was just sitting there with his mouth and eyes wide open. He couldn't even move a muscle let alone look away from the screen.
His emotions were like slow effects. It was only until they were sitting in the car in the hospital parking lot, and he was looking at the first photos of their baby, did he begin to cry. He turned to her, smiling tearfully and saying, "this is our baby, Y/N. This is Asteria or Jasper."
Even though Y/N's eyes were just beginning to dry, it didn't take more than a few seconds for her to tear up again. She leaned in, kissing him deeply and pulling away to rub his shoulder, eyes on the photos he was holding.
"Would you mind if I replace your photo in my wallet with this one?" He chuckled slightly and wiped the tears on his cheeks as Y/N tossed her head back and laughed.
"Of course not," she said, beaming. "I would do that, too."
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"So...Is this Ria or Jas?" Niall questioned as he squinted his eyes at the ultrasound photo in his hand. Harry tried to focus on driving, still he kept glancing back and forth between the road and Niall, just to make sure Niall was being careful with the first photo of his baby.
"Are you stupid?" he said. "The baby hasn't got ears yet."
"Oh, right!" Niall snorted as he carefully put the photo back in his best friend's wallet. They were on their way to Niall's brother bachelor party. His brother's wedding and his were only six months apart.
The last time Harry had gone to a bachelor party had been by far the worst experience in his life, and he'd told himself that Niall's would be the last one he would attend in this lifetime. After that, he'd be retired from bachelor parties for good. But then, Niall had to drag Harry to his brother's bachelor party, saying Harry could use this as an example to throw one for him. Harry felt like it was his responsibility as the best man to make the groom happy, so here he was, driving Niall to the party and already wanting to turn his car around and go home.
"So when will you find out the baby's gender?" Niall asked to fill the silence.
"We'll get another ultrasound done between the eighteenth and twenty-second weeks."
"Are you nervous?"
"Yeah but...I'm happy either way."
"No, I mean...Are you nervous that you're going to be a dad? Because I'm already nervous that I might not be 'cool uncle Niall', you know?"
The way Niall blew out his cheeks and shook his head had Harry cackling. "Niall, you'll be a great uncle," he said. "Just...just don't coax my kid into weird stuff and you'll be fine."
"Hey, 99% of the trouble we got into was because of you!"
"Shit, you're right." Now it was Harry who blew out his cheeks in frustration. "But I'm going to be a good and responsible parent," he reassured himself, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "I got this."
"Let's hope so," Niall said as he clasped his hands together. "Aaaaanyway, I think there are strippers there."
"What part of 'a good and responsible parent' didn't you understand?!" Harry exclaimed. "And Layla would kill you."
"I was just saying that—"
"Don't even say that!"
"Okay, okay! Gee!" Niall rubbed his forehead as Harry slowed down and pulled over in front of a club.
"Last chance to change your mind," Harry turned to him, arching an eyebrow and hoping that he'd say no.
It took Niall a few seconds to think before he unbuckled his seatbelt. To Harry's disappointment, he said, "let's do this!"
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Meanwhile, Y/N and Layla were together in Layla's bedroom. The bride-to-be had just got her wedding dress earlier that day, and she'd been wearing it and swaying in front of the mirror for over forty minutes. Even though she had repeatedly said she wasn't nervous about her wedding because she was rich, Y/N knew Layla had never been more nervous about anything else in her life. She was probably as just agitated as Y/N and Harry in the waiting room yesterday.
Y/N had grown up with parents who loved each other. Layla, however, hadn't been so lucky. Those who didn't know her well would envy her because she was not only pretty, but also rich, and engaged to her best friend, who was also rich. Little did they knew, Layla had to struggle every day for validation. Her parents hated each other, and they didn't love her either, or so it seemed. When she told them about her engagement, neither of them had showed any interest, so she didn't even bother to send them the invitations.
Poor Layla had poured her heart and soul into planning such a big wedding with such little help, and she hadn't been fully happy for weeks. But today, after putting on her two-thousand-dollar wedding dress, she was on cloud nine. Y/N wished Layla would remain this happy until long after her wedding day.
"If you continue to dance like that, you'll get sweaty and ruin the dress."
The warning got Layla rooted to the spot, her eyes popped out. "Shit, you're right! I have to take it off! Help me!"
Giggling, Y/N rose from the bed to help her best friend unzip and step out of the dress. Layla had to remind Y/N every five seconds to be careful as they brought the dress to her wardrobe, and each time Y/N had to reassure her again that she knew how to handle a wedding dress because she'd been a bride before.
"Oh, really? Remember what happened to your wedding dress?"
"It wasn't even my fault," Y/N said as she flopped down on the bed, waiting for Layla to put her clothes back on.
Once Layla was done, she took a seat next to Y/N and repeated the obvious, "I just really love it."
"I know. You treat it like your own baby."
"Well, because it is my baby. The whole wedding venue could just burn and crash, but as long as I have that dress, everything is fine," Layla said with a straight face to prove that she was serious. Then, she changed the subject, "speaking of a baby, how's yours?"
Y/N brightened at once. "We got to see them for the first time yesterday!"
"Oh, shit, right!" Layla exclaimed as she held her head. "Fuck, you told me last week and I forgot! Do you have a photo?"
"Here." Y/N beamed and showed Layla the one she kept in her wallet.
"Oh my God, hi baby Ria or baby Jas. Whoever you end up being, aunt Layla will love you anyway," Layla said before glancing up to meet Y/N's eyes. "I've never talked to a womb before, how did I do?"
"You did great." Y/N giggled, giving her a thumb up.
Sighing in relief, Layla handed her back the photo so she could put it away. "So..." she trailed off. "You already got your dress right? When will I get to see it?"
"Um...I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I just...I'll be six-month pregnant at the wedding, so it's a bit loose for me now. I'll show it to you when it's close to the wedding day."
Layla scoffed, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter, just let me see it!"
"No," Y/N said she rose from the bed, checking her watch. "I gotta go home to pick up Treasure now."
Layla grabbed her wrist in an instant. "No, bitch, you're showing me the dress!"
"No!"
"Why?!"
"Because—" Y/N exhaled sharply as she pulled her arm out of Layla's grip. "I don't know...I just...look weird in it."
"Bullshit."
"It's true! I'll probably look so funny standing next to your skinny bridesmaids."
"You're not even fat."
"I will be," she blurted, not knowing why she'd said that aloud.
Y/N would never talk about her weight, even at moments when she was the most insecure. She believed that people wouldn't notice her imperfections if she didn't point them out herself. But ever since she got pregnant, she had changed a lot, physically and mentally, and she was more conscious about how she looked than she had been before.
Her cheeks reddened when Layla chortled. "You're pregnant, Y/N. Of course you'll be gaining a bit of weight. Why's it such a big deal?"
"I just..." She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Never mind, it doesn't matter. I-I gotta go home and pick up Treasure."
"I'm coming with you!" Layla shouted and hurried after her to the door. "But...can we stop by the grocery store on the way?"
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The music in the club was as loud as thunder and the laughter ringing in Harry's ears wouldn't seem to stop. He liked the song they were playing, but he hated everything else. The group of men in front of him was cheering and drooling over the two strippers dancing around Niall's brother, who was tied to a chair. Harry loved the man but how on earth could he look so happy? What would his future wife think if she saw this scene? Harry honestly couldn't relate. Shaking his head, he took a sip of the champagne in his glass and leaned back against the bar counter.
The funny thing about this whole experience was that it used to be normal to him. Partying used to be his way of escaping from stress and responsibilities and all that shit. He used to depend on parties like this, on touches of women he didn't know to feel fulfilled. Now here he was, judging these people and wishing he'd been home with his wife. He would rather spend the rest of tonight talking to her womb than checking his watch every two seconds.
As he finished the thought, he turned to his best friend, who had the same look of anxiety on his face. Niall turned to him, frowning as he said, "are you scared? Because I kind of am."
Harry chuckled at the comment. "I've been scared since we got in the car."
"I can't believe we used to enjoy this," Niall said, nodding his head toward his brother, who was literally grinding that stripper. "I think we're getting old."
"We are," Harry agreed, emptied his glass with one go, and slammed it down on the counter. "Niall, you can't have a bachelor party like this."
"I can't have a bachelor party like this," Niall repeated the same words, slowly shaking his head, still watching his brother with anxiety.
The horrified look on his face made Harry laugh. "Your wedding would become your funeral."
"That's not the thing though," Niall said as he turned back to Harry, his eyebrows knitted together. "I'm not afraid of Layla. I just don't want to hurt her and I don't want another woman to touch me."
"I can't relate to not being afraid of Layla but—" Harry paused, looking at the other men and sucking a breath. "You're absolutely right."
"Maybe we could...I don't know? Go shopping or something for the bachelor night?"
The suggestion left Harry poker-faced. "Not having strippers at the party does not equal not having a party at all, Niall."
"You don't get to judge me. We were at a spa on your bachelor night!"
"Fuck, you're right," said Harry with a monotone and an empty stare as he puckered up his lips. Niall was about to make a remark when one of the strippers approached them. At first, Harry thought she was just coming over to get some drinks from the bar, but she stopped right in front of him and leaned in so close that he nearly fell off his chair from leaning back, not wanting to touch her.
"Hey, pretty boys, you want a show?" The brunette had a thick German accent, and her voice was annoyingly piercing. Harry hated it. Still, he politely muttered, "no, thank you."
He didn't how to push her away without having to touch her or appearing as being rude. Fortunately, he didn't have to do anything. She pulled back on her own, setting her hands on her hips and raising an eyebrow.
"Oh, I get it," she said, pointing to each of them. "Are you two gay?"
"No, I'm a dad," Harry awkward replied, and he was so confused when a smirk appeared on her face.
"Oh, so you have a daddy kink, huh?"
"He does." Niall cracked up, and Harry smacked him on the arm.
"No, I'm an actual dad," he said, raising his hand and pointing to the ring. "I'm married. Sorry."
The woman burst out laughing as she immediately apologized for making him feel uncomfortable. But then she winked at him and said, "I'll be over there if you change your mind."
Harry and Niall both swallowed as they watched her walk away, swaying her broad hips seductively. Then, as if they could read each other's mind, they turned to each other and spoke at the same time, "let's get out of here."
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Y/N was deeply concerned.
She'd had a bad feeling when Layla walked out of the grocery store holding two heavy bags of snacks which was more than the amount she'd eaten in twenty-five years of her life.
"Who are these for?" Y/N had asked.
And Layla had told her, "for me. I'm in a good mood."
Y/N didn't know what kind of 'good mood' her best friend was in, but now the girl was lying on the couch with Treasure on her lap, a bowl of popcorn on her right, a giant pack of gummy bears on her left, and her legs on the coffee table. She didn't look like Layla, she looked like Y/N's dad on lazy Sundays or football nights. That was how Y/N knew it was serious.
"I'm going to order a pizza. Want one?"
"Please don't. I'd throw up all over you," said Y/N as she marched toward the couch and took the bowl of gummy bears away from Layla. Layla attempted to reach for it, but Y/N smacked her hand away.
"Hey!"
"What is wrong with you?!" Y/N said. "First, you bought everything in the store that contained sugar and now you're eating pizza?!"
"I've eaten pizza plenty of times!" Layla gasped.
"That was before you turned thirteen!" Y/N cried out, but her best friend was just gawking at her like she was the one talking nonsense.
And then, it hit her.
Y/N sat speechless, her eyes bulging out as she finally realized what was happening here. "Oh no," she mumbled with a blank stare. "You're trying to gain weight with me, aren't you?!"
"No, I am not!"
"Yes, you are! You touch your hair a lot when you lie."
"Bullshit."
"There! You're doing it again!"
Layla suddenly withdrew her hands from her hair and shoved them into her armpits, her forehead puckered up and her voice was low. "So? What if I want to?"
"Then you won't fit the dress, Layla! Stop being crazy!"
"I can still get it altered," the girl argued, giving Y/N a slight shrug. "I want you to feel good about yourself, especially at my wedding."
"And you're doing that by gaining weight and ripping the dress that you love?"
"I love the dress," Layla breathed. "But...I love you more."
Though they'd been friends for that many years, Y/N could barely recalled the last time Layla had said those three words to her without making it sound like a joke. And now, it was definitely not a joke. Because the girl was blushing and nervously rubbing her palms together.
Y/N couldn't hold back a massive grin as she said, "I love you too." And then reached for Layla's hand. "But you don't have to worry about me. I'm just temporarily insecure about my body. I guess all women feel this way at least once during their pregnancy, but I'll get over it."
"What if you won't? I can't be happy at my wedding if you aren't." Layla huffed as she rolled her eyes upward. "And God, it's awful enough that you can't even attend my bachelorette party."
"Layla, we've talked about this. There'll be alcohol and...and a lot of activities that will be too much for me and my baby bump."
"I could just get rid of those."
"No, don't be stupid."
Those words slipped out before Y/N could stop herself. She had never called Layla stupid, not even as a joke. In fact, nobody had ever dared to call her stupid. Y/N expected her to get angry and say something mean, like she would have if it'd been Niall or Harry who'd said it by accident. But, no. She just snorted and playfully hit Y/N's cheek. "If I could only have one guest at my wedding, it'd be you. So...I won't have any fun unless you'll be there and have fun with me. We're in this together, remember? For better or worse."
Y/N couldn't come up with a response. In fact, she was too emotional to even make a sound. The way her chin quivered made Layla chuckle.
"Bitch, you'd better not cry because I'll—"
Without waiting for Layla to finish that sentence, Y/N wrapped both arms around her neck, hugging her so tightly. And Layla hugged her back right away as they both started laughing for no reason. Who knew how long they would've stayed like that if their men hadn't walked in?
"We're back!"
The girls both turned to the door, slightly confused.
"Oh, you're back early." Y/N raised an eyebrow as her husband approached and kissed her on the cheek. "How was the party?"
Exchanging looks, Harry and Niall said at the same time. "Terrifying." "There were strippers."
"Harry!" Niall shouted at his best friend, but it was already too late. Layla stood up so quickly that Harry reflexively took a step back.
"Strippers?" she exclaimed. "There were strippers?!"
"Yeah, but we didn't touch them—"
"I'm gonna kill Greg!" Layla clutched her fists and squinted her eyes. "I'm gonna kill your brother. I mean it this time."
Clearing his throat, Harry nudged Niall so he would say something before Layla stormed out with a murder weapon in her hand.
"Anyway," Niall began with a laugh. "Thanks to Greg, we just came up with a great idea for our bachelor party!"
"We don't care about your—"
"When I said 'our', I meant, 'yours and mine', baby."
Y/N seemed rather puzzled. "Wait, you want to do a double bachelor party?"
"Yup!" Harry said excitedly. "Fuck tradition. Let's do a treasure hunt."
Everyone turned to look at the white cat, who was glaring at Harry, not so happy about what he'd just suggested.
"No, not our Treasure." He rolled his eyes. "I mean the game we used to play on Halloween night each year back in college. You know, since Halloween is the day before your wedding."
"It is?!" Layla gasped.
"Yeah. You didn't know?" Harry chuckled and gave her a shrug. "I thought you picked the day on purpose."
"What was that supposed to mean, asshole?"
Ignoring those two, Niall spoke, "Y/N is pregnant so she doesn't have to play, but she can be the host."
"Nuh-uh." Layla shook her head, crossing her arms. "If she's the host then Harry will automatically win."
"Hey, I'm not a cheater!" Y/N said, and Layla motioned her to shut up.
"I don't believe you. This idiot is your big baby. You'd kill someone for him."
"Yay, I'm the big baby!"
"Shut up, Harry!"
"Guys! Focus!" Niall exhaled. "We'll ask someone else to be the host then. But does that mean you two are in?"
"I don't know...The first time I played, Harry and I fell through the floor and got trapped in the basement," Y/N said, but her husband stroked her hair and gave her a reassuring smile.
"We'll pick a safer location this year. Do you really think I'd put my babies in danger?"
"Okay, then we're in," Layla said before Y/N could even open her mouth, and the men high-fived each other like two little boys.
It was only when Y/N got up and picked up the bowl of gummy bears that Harry and Niall noticed all the snacks on the coffee table. They both pointed to them and said at the same time, "are those for us?"
"No, they're—"
"Yes, they're all for you!" Y/N happily shoved the bowl into Harry's hands so she could pull Layla up. "Come with me. I'll show you my dress."
"Yes! Finally!" Layla jumped right out of her seat.
"Hey, can we see?" Harry asked.
And both of the girls screamed at him, "NO!"
296 notes · View notes
newtsshelbys · 4 years
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A New Home | Neighbour AU | Chapter 3
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Prompt: “Hey, I locked myself out, can I stay at your place until my roommate comes home?”
Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Fem!Reader, Tom Holland x Fem!Reader
Summary: Y/N’s life couldn’t have been more ordinary. She lived together in an apartment with her sister, while being a student at the nearby college. The small flat next to hers stood empty for a while now, until one day two young men moved in. What at the beginning seemed like a simple new encounter, tured out to turn her world upside down.
Warnings: swearing, drinking
Word count: 3.3k
Prolouge | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
Your doorbell rang. You were currently not doing anything special. You were lying on your bed, scrolling through your phone. You got up and made your way to the front-door. You didn’t expect anyone or anything, so you wondered who could be at your door. The door doesn’t have a spy, which meant you had no idea who was standing on the other side of it.
As you opened the door, you were greeted by the smiley face of a blond boy with blue eyes. He was holding a paper-bag excitedly right in your face. A little panic started to spread in you. Since you were home alone and had no plans for the night, you were only dressed in a pair of black shorts, watermelon socks and a loose t-shirt with no Bra under it. Your panic was mixed with confusion. What was he doing here and why was he so excited?
Since the text he send to your sister two days ago, you haven’t heard from him. You really weren’t expecting anything anymore at this point. You also tried to do your best not to think about about him or this stupid kiss. You had to admit, it was hard and you needed a lot of distractions, but it worked somehow. Or actually it didn’t. You just liked to tell yourself that it worked.
So, now he was standing in front of your apartment on a Monday evening.
“I’ll be back in a second.” you told him and ran off, smashing the door back into its lock.
Harrison’s smile faded and was replaced with a confused look as the door was smashed shut right into his face.
You sprinted to your room and looked around for something to wear. You got out a bra. Also, you found a black shirt somewhere in the mess you called your room. You grabbed a pair of light blue skinny jeans from the floor and put them on. You decided the socks were fine. You got your hair free from the messy bun on your head, brushed it and pulled it together in a proper ponytail. After a second look into the mirror, you decided that you still looked awful, but not as awful as you did one minute ago. You rushed back to the door and opened it again.
Harrison was still here, looking around. His attention was back on you within seconds and he was still smiling brightly. The whole evening, he didn’t make one comment on what just happened.
“Hi, Harrison.”
“Hi, Y/N.”
You realised that you were still standing in the doorway, so you moved out of your way that Harrison step in.
As he put his bag on the kitchen counter, you asked:
“What are you doing here?” you didn’t know what to expect by this sudden visit.
“I hope you haven’t eaten yet.” he raised his eyebrows at you excitingly. You shook your head and signalised him to continue.
He took a deep breath and started explaining, while unpacking his bag:
“Even though your sister told me, you loved take out; I decided on something else, but still similar. Because I fucked up pretty badly last Friday, I wanted to make up for it. And I wanted to apologize. But I thought coming here and saying ‘I’m sorry’ is kinda lame. Even though, I really am. And since I have a secret source that told me you liked sushi, I thought I’d make sushi for you. Or we can do it together. However you’d prefer it.”
You were taken aback by his offer and his apology as well. In your head you always just told yourself that Harrison probably didn’t waste another thought about you, after he left your apartment on friday. And now here he was, apologizing and ready to make your ‘favourite food’ for you.
“I’ve never made sushi before.” you stated, since it was the only thing that came to your mind on what to say.
“Me either. See, that’s the point where I think this gets interesting. You can either watch me fail completely and use me to your amusement. In that case, I’ll probably end up buying take out for us anyway or you could help me and we could try to actually make some enjoyable sushi. So, what do you say?”
You were really impressed by his enthusiasm. It rubbed off on you a little. And suddenly, you found yourself, wanting to make sushi with Harrison Osterfield on a Monday evening.
You realised, Harrison was really sorry for what happened. From your point of view, he didn’t even have to be. He should be apologizing to his girlfriend out of everybody. Sure, the situation unsettled you, but in the end, it was you who overreacted. You were the one planning on apologizing to Harrison for handling the situation like this. But if it would have went your way, you probably just would have avoided him to the point where you were faced with the unavoidable. Maybe in the end, you and Harrison could become friends.
“Sure, I’ll help you.” you told him and with that made his lips curl up into a silly smile.
“Great!” he happily stated, “We need to cook some rice then.”
You and Harrison were hopelessly lost. None of you were really good at cooking, even though Harrison likes to believed that about himself. You were fast in telling him that microwaving eggs was not cooking. You could tell he was slightly offended.
“I can make pancakes too.” he tried to defend himself.
And you just weren’t the cooker. You rather spend your time on something else. In your case, something else meant lying around all day and night doing basically nothing. You were just lazy. And with that, your take out-habit developed.
The good thing was, Harrison thought ahead and basically bought twice as much from everything than you actually needed. The first pack of rice went to shit. It wasn’t until Harrison was about to open your second and last pack as you came up with the idea to watch a tutorial on YouTube on how to actually cook sushi-rice. And with that you actually managed to do it and you also figured out what the rice-vinegar and the rice-wine were for.
“I’ve just read it in a recipe and thought it sounded sushi-ish; I had no idea what it was for.”
“It sounded sushi-ish? Makes sense when it’s in a sushi recipe, don’t you think?”
Just as they thought the hard part with the cooking was over, they came to the part where they actually had to roll the sushi. This time, they decided to watch the tutorial right from the start. While you were chopping the veggies, Harrison was very focused on what the woman in the video said about how to roll the sushi. You found it quite adorable how serious he was taking all of this. He probably didn’t even realise he started to mimic the movements the woman made in the videos. You had to smile to yourself, what a dork.
“You got it?” you hinted at his phone.
“I think so?” he neither sounded and nor look a 100% convinced.
They finished cutting the veggies together. In the sushi-kit Harrison bought, was a bamboo-matt to roll. Getting the rice on the nori-sheets was already challenging enough for Y/N. She and Harrison ended up with rice all over their hands. The rolling itself actually went really well. You were impressed by how good of a job Harrison was doing. After the second roll you wanted to try it yourself, so Harrison showed you.
“You have to push it back.” he instructed you.
“Like this?”
“Maybe a little more.”
Your roll turned out okay. Harrison’s looked better though, so you let him continue. After you were finished rolling and the rice pan was empty, the only thing left was cutting the sushi. Harrison read somewhere that you should cut it with a wet knife, so it would make a good cut. After messing up the first few, you eventually got the hang out of it and it didn’t even look that bad. You got out a fancy plate you forgot you had and you placed the sushi on it. As you looked at your final result, you couldn’t feel anything but proud.
“We actually did a really good job.” Harrison stated, “I’m gonna be honest, I thought we would fuck this up completely.”
“Same here. I’m proud of ourselves.” you retorted with a smile on your face. You and Harrison high fived.
The kitchen was a real mess, though. Harrison offered to take over the cleaning, since it was his apology and it was his idea to destroy your kitchen. Harrison was carrying the plate with sushi into the living room where you told him to put it. Eating in the living room on the couch was also a thing you adopted after some time.
“What do you want to drink?” you shouted from the kitchen.
“Oh, I actually brought something, only if you don’t mind, though.” Harrison came running back into the kitchen and pulled out a whole pack of Capri-Sun.
“In case one’s not enough.” he grinned at you, and you couldn’t help but grin back, “I thought we better skip the alcohol this time, since that wasn’t a success last time.”
“That’s actually quite perfect.” you told him, and he was satisfied with himself. Even though you had to swallow a little harder at his last comment. Why does all of this bother you so much? The better question, why do you keep thinking about the way it felt when your lips touched?
You walked back into the living room and took place on the couch.
You even found some old metal chopsticks in one of your many kitchen drawers.
“I gotta be honest with you” you started and Harrison’s attention was on you, “I’ve never had sushi before.”
“Wait, what? No, your sister told me it’s your favourite.”
“My sister likes to mess with me and apparently with you too.” you admitted with a small smirk on your face.
“But what if you don’t like it? Then all of this was for nothing.”
“What do you mean? I had a great time making it. And I definitely imagined my Monday evening to be rather boring, so thank you.”
“Yeah, you had a good time?” he wanted to assure himself. You only nodded which was good enough for him. A proud smile formed on his face. You could tell he was satisfied with himself.
You ended up loving sushi. The mango ones were your favourite, so Harrison let you eat almost all of them. You decided against watching anything while eating and so you talked. Harrison told you on what projects he was currently working on and you told him about your major in college and what your plans for the future looked like.
You were both kind of in the same situation. As you told him about your future, you had no idea where to start, because you had no clue on what to do after college. And he was talking about what he was doing right now, but he had no idea what to come after. You figured that you were both the kind of people to just finish what they were doing at the moment and didn’t thought about what was about to come after.
“Do you like your major?”
“I actually do. At first, I started with a different one, though. I change after the first half of my first semester.”
Harrison turned out to be how you thought he would be. You probably could talk about everything and everyone with him and at the same time, he liked to place a joke here and there. Not once you felt uncomfortable or awkward while talking to him. He doesn’t take himself or anything else too seriously. You also liked the way his dimples showed when he was smiling wholeheartedly. His laugh was mesmerizing too. But you had to stop your thoughts right then and there. There was no way you were about to develop feelings for a guy who was already in a relationship. If so, there would be only one person ending up heartbroken.
Harrison kept his promise and went to clean the kitchen after you two finished talking. But of course, you weren’t the one to let him clean up the mess you fabricated alone. He refused to let you help at first but eventually gave in.
“When are you planning on getting Frankie back?” he asked as his hands were busy washing your dishes and more dirty stuff from the kitchen.
You didn’t expect that he remembered her.
“I’ve got finals this and next week and after that, we’ll probably get her back.” you couldn’t help the smile that crept on your face while thinking about your dog. You just now realised how much you actually missed her.
“Sounds great. Let’s say I bring my dog along as well and we go in the park with them together or something?”
He actually wanted to spend more time with you, and you were really happy about that. You liked Harrison and you were excited to get to know him better, maybe one day, you’ll even meet his girlfriend.
“That actually sounds fantastic.”
He was also glad, you wanted to spend more time with him. He couldn’t quite explain why he felt so comfortable around you, he just knew that he did. And it was reason enough for him to want you in his life as a friend. 
As Harrison handed you a plate to dry, soap dripped from his hand directly on your t-shirt.
“Oh, shit. Sorry.”, he tried to wipe it away not thinking about his still wet hands. He only made it worse, and you started to laugh, since he didn’t seem to realize what he was doing.
He was suddenly so close to you. Harrison looked up at you as if he wouldn’t understand what��s so funny, until he saw the mess he fabricated on your shirt. His cheeks slowly reddened out of embarrassment. He looked at you with an adorable and apologetic look. Harrison didn’t seem to realize how close the two of you were.
The both of you grew quiet, neither you nor Harrison broke the gaze between you. His eyes were the clearest blue you’ve ever seen. Your chest started to grow tight. What was happening? Before you could even register Harrison starting to lean in, your phone started to ring. The both of you exhaled deeply.
“I should probably get that.” Your voice was quiet and flustered.
“Yeah, you probably should.”
Harrison turned away from you as you went to pick up your phone. He went back to clean the last few items in the kitchen, while you saw a picture of your sister lightening your screen and making it ring and vibrate.
“Hi, Lu. What’s up?” your voice seemed kind of shaky as you started talking to your sister.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. What’s up?” you send an apologetic wave Harrison’s way as if to say sorry for the interruption.
“Wait, what happened?”
Harrison sensed that you sounded worried now. He wondered what was going on and if he could do anything to help. At the same time, he was still thinking about what almost happened two minutes ago. He tried to assure himself that it was nothing, he was fine. But he could not answer the question, what would have happened if you weren’t interrupted. He didn’t want to know. Or did he?
“No, no. I already ate … with Harrison, why? … let’s not talk about this now, okay?”
Harrison put the last spoon back into its place.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
Harrison felt guilty for overhearing your call, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that you sounded really worried.
“Okay, yeah. See you in a few. I love you.”
You hung up.
Harrison looked at you with a curious and worried expression.
“You should go.”
“Did anything bad happen? Maybe, I can help.” he suggested, meaning every word of it.
“I’m sorry, but my sister is supposed to be home any minute and she told me she had a fight with her boyfriend. She said she was fine, but I know when she’s lying. But thank you so much for tonight. And just so you know, I was actually planning on apologizing to you because I acted childish that day. I’m sorry-” you started to ramble as Harrison cut you off.
“It’s fine, alright? I’m the one in a relationship, and I could see I made you uncomfortable.”
You hated how he said that. Like, he knew anything about you or when you were uncomfortable, like he had any power over the way you felt or didn’t feel. But you tried not to think about this now. You just knew, when your sister came home, you had to be there for her, no distractions allowed.
“Listen, Harrison, I’m really sorry to kick you out like this. But I have to look after my sister as soon as she gets home.” you tried to explain.
“No, of course, everything’s fine. I’ll just grab my stuff real quick.” Harrison went to grab his jacket and shoes. “If I can help with anything, you know where I live.” he offered, already halfway out the door.
“Harrison?” you called after him.
“Yeah?” he turned around.
“Thanks, again.”
He just smiled at that and closed the door right behind him.
After your sister hadn’t shown up for another two hours, you started to get worried sick. You tried to call her at least twenty times and sent her over fifty text messages. You even thought about going over to the boy’s apartment to ask them if they would help you search for your sister. By the time your front door opened, you were lying passed out on your sofa, your cell phone right in front of you.
Your sister slid of her boots as quietly as possible, even though it was hard for her to stand straight. Due to the amount of alcohol in her blood system, she eventually woke you up anyway.
“Lu?” you called, rubbing your eyes.
“Hey, baby girl. Don’t… mind m- me. I’ll- jus go t-to bed.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, right now.” your eyes weren’t adjusted to the light yet, “I was up all night waiting for you to come home. I was so fucking worried after your call. Where the fuck were you.”
You sat up, your face in your hands, as you started to hear quiet sobs. As you lifted your head, you saw a girl. The girl seemed lost and messy. There was barely any colour in her face. Her black hair was dishevelled, and wisps of it hang loosely in her face. The girl seemed broken, a tear rolling down her cheek. You didn’t recognize your sister in this girls’ eyes.
“Matt’s leaving me.” she whimpered, the usual dynamic her voice carried was gone.
You scooped on the sofa and Lu slowly walked towards you and eventually sat down right beside you. You could see how hard she was trying to keep it together in front of her little sister. How hard she tried to stay strong in front of her.
“It’s okay.” You whispered.
It was that moment she broke down in front of you. The tears were now streaming down her cheeks, and her make up was all over her face. Her sobs grew heavier, as she dropped herself into your lap.
You knew it wasn’t the time to ask questions. You still wanted to know what was going on. But you figured that Lu wasn’t in the constitution to talk right now. At the moment she just needed you, her little sister, holding her and spending her comfort.
What could she have meant by saying that Matt is going to leave her?
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obsidianspidey, ixchel-9275
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astrozones · 4 years
Text
Sanders Behavioral Health, Chapter 2: Roman Has a Rough Time
Angsty fic incoming
my discord server if you wanna join- Astro’s Zone
Three hours.
If Roman had to guess how long he had been staring at himself in the mirror, it was three hours.
From an outside perspective, Roman might seem conceited and narcissistic. But while staring at the mirror, all Roman could see were mistakes.
His hair looked messy, people were going to laugh at him.
His freckles stood out. He could cover them with makeup, but if others found out he was wearing makeup- god he could barely stand the thought.
His face looked odd in general. And his weight? Don’t get him started! Looking at his arms, his legs, his chest, all he could see were flaws, flaws , flaws !
Roman felt tears threatening to spill and shoved his head into a pillow. Why did he have to be so… ugly? Why must whatever God up there curse him like this? And no matter how many times his grandparents and aunt told him he wasn’t, he just couldn’t see what the fuck they were talking about.
Well, at least he was in therapy. Maybe they’d fix him.
Roman’s parents weren’t too fond of him, he knew. They were the only ones that would admit the truth, that he was ugly, and that they didn’t deserve such a disgusting son. They would take any opportunity to get him away from them, and once his distant relatives had suggested taking Roman to therapy, citing his ‘sudden declining happiness’, and ‘inability to eat’, his parents had leaped at the possibility, taking the chance as soon as they could.
They had talked about putting him in the six-hour program that started earlier in the day. The only reason they didn’t was because the school would start coming after them for attendance issues. Well, more than they usually did, anyway.
Roman glanced back up at the mirror, frowning. He couldn’t go to school looking like this, no, they’d just make fun of him.
Another day of skipping school it was.
His parents wouldn’t care, they never did until they were being yelled at. He’d just creep downstairs and tell whatever parent was down there taking a swig of alcohol that he was staying home, they’d just grunt and wave him off. And once the school called, they’d tell them he was sick, and rush upstairs to yell at him that he hadn’t told them before heading off to work.
Today was no different.
--
It was about noon when Roman opened the cupboard for the first time that day. Skimming over the options, he bit his lip. There was nothing there that he wanted . He had everything he should want, plenty of options that many kids would kill to have, and yet Roman didn’t want any of it. He didn’t really know what he wanted, he was barely hungry anyway. He’d just come back to it later and choose something then.
He ignored the voice in his head that told him he wouldn’t.
Grabbing his backpack, he made his way back to his room to start his homework. Well, “start” his homework, which actually meant wallowing in his sorrow while thinking about the week so far.
Therapy was… okay so far. He couldn’t tell them a lot of stuff, just that he was insecure. He wouldn’t tell them about how he hated looking in mirrors, or that he struggled to even eat a snack during the day. No, no, then they would know too much. If his parents found out, there would be consequences. Not hitting or anything! His parents would never abuse him.
Never.
His first day had been mediocre. He filled out questionnaires, and they played a board game for rec. Nothing important. Nothing new. Nothing, just like how he saw himself.
At least he wasn’t the only new kid. There was the hoodie kid, who he had made uncomfortable with his stupid assumptions , and who he had given a terrible nickname to. Really, Roman? You could at least come up with something better . And Patton told him he arrived last week Wednesday, and Logan two days prior. So, all in all, they were all new. Which was great!
Roman couldn’t help but feel happy at meeting the others. Sue him, he loved meeting new people! The prospect of finding out something about a person you barely knew was fun, at least to him.
You should stop, you’re prying into people’s lives when they don’t want you to. The voice in his head said. Roman didn’t acknowledge it in the rest of his internal monologue.
Logan was nice, despite his attitude the day prior. On Roman’s first day, he had been very helpful in his own, stubborn way. They had a couple of back-and-forths, and while that might seem aggressive to others, it made Roman feel more comfortable. Logan liked him enough to argue without any hate behind it.
Patton was unbelievably kind. He would go out of his way to help Roman and Logan, even when they were battling via a board game. Patton had hugged him the moment he saw Roman, but when Roman had seemed apprehensive he backed off a little bit. Not to say that he calmed down in the slightest, he was practically bouncing in his chair when they played.
And then there was Virgil, the one who had taken on the resident ‘New Kid’ title. He was quieter than the others, more resigned. When Roman had actually started getting him to talk, he started coming out of his shell, or hoodie, a little bit. This made Roman extremely happy, at least he was likeable enough for the more apprehensive to talk to him! Roman had also noticed that Virgil had black nail polish on, which made him want to do his own.
Well, Roman never really had good impulse control.
20 minutes later, Roman’s nails were red and absolutely fabulous.
5 minutes later, Roman realized in a panic that he had run out of acetone, and would have to either pick at his nails or go outside with nail polish on. He was a boy! He would definitely get made fun of, and Roman was not in the mood for that today, no thank you.
He settled down on his bed, ‘forgetting’ about the homework that was glaring threateningly at him from his desk.
Roman ignored it.
Roman spent the rest of his free time scrolling through Instagram and YouTube.
And then it was time to go.
--
Roman settled into the lobby seat, earlier than he had planned. The lobby was silent, and felt awkward with no background noise. He was used to buzzing, the wind, birds chirping, literally any noise, but in here? Nothing.
He wasn’t very comfortable.
Minutes went by as Roman sat, waiting for the others. He knew he shouldn’t have come so early, curse his anxieties over coming in late. He was currently in a very heated stare-off with the carpeted floor as of now. Just waiting.
After what felt like hours, Virgil entered the room in all of his emo glory. He looked surprised at not being the only person to arrive obnoxiously early.
“Oh, uh, hey. Roman, right?” Virgil muttered, walking to the front desk to sign in. Quick, Roman, act normal!
“The one and only,” Roman said, with a grin that felt as fake as the Kardashian’s “drama”. And it appeared Roman was a good actor, since Virgil didn’t react at all other than a scoff. Jesus, the voice in his head said. No wonder he doesn’t want to talk to you, you’re so boring. Roman grinned at Virgil, attempting to seem more… well, positive, but Virgil didn’t seem to notice him. Or he’s just ignoring you.
The receptionist grinned at Virgil once he was done. “You should go sit by Roman and talk!” She said, apparently oblivious to the anxiety radiating between the two. Virgil spluttered for a few seconds before walking towards Roman and sitting down. Both of them were silent for a few seconds, both trying to think of something to say.
“So, what’d you think of your first day?” Roman asked, just barely hiding the stress he was feeling. Acting really was the only thing he was good at, and despite how much his parents shunned it, it was useful in situations like this. Situations he faced every day, really.
“I don’t know, I guess it was fine.” Virgil said. “Nothing really happened, y’know?”
Nothing . He hated that word.
“Eh, you’re right. Still, rec was fun, yeah?”
“Rec?” Was all Virgil said, staring at him in confusion. Oh, right.  
“Rec is, well, just what we say to shorten the whole recreational therapy thing. Sorry, I keep forgetting you’re new!” Goddamn it, Roman! You’re such an idiot . “I guess you just… fit right in, yeah?”
“Fit right in with the mentally unstable. Great,” Virgil deadpanned, causing Roman to snort.
“I mean, I suppose you could say it like that.” He said between quiet giggles. He hadn’t expected that answer. Virgil gave a small smile in return, clearly feeling at least a bit awkward. Oops.
“Well, today’s gonna be way different,” Roman started, with a smirk. “‘Cause you’ll have to actually join us in the cafeteria this time.” As he said that, Virgil’s smile slipped and he groaned, practically shoving his face into his palms. Roman laughed. “Me too, man.”
“Really? Would’ve pegged you for the type to be ecstatic about being around others.” Virgil stated, turning in his seat to face Roman a bit more. Roman shrugged in response.
“I mean, kinda? There’s pros and cons to it, y’know? And-” Roman cut himself off before he could continue. Stupid Roman, you don’t just rant all your problems out to an innocent stranger. He shook his head. “Eh, nevermind, I dunno where I was going with that”
Virgil looked slightly concerned, but didn’t comment on it. Roman slapped another cheery grin on his face before continuing. “So, what’d’ya think of the others?”
“Well… one seemed nice, Patton, if I remember correctly. I don’t know about Logan though… No offense to him or anything!”
“Logan’s pretty nice from my experience. I may not have spoken to him long, only a couple days, but those days were pretty chill. I guess something happened? Maybe it was so many new people or something?” Roman started tapping his foot on the ground, and fidgeting with the zipper of his jacket. He didn’t want to insult Logan, but his behavior yesterday was pretty aggressive.
Virgil started chewing on his hoodie strings, which only slightly muffled his voice when he answered. “I guess. I’ll just… go with the flow. I don’t… want to get myself into something I can’t get out of, y’know? I’ve had enough of that in my life.”
“I don’t think I’m following here…”
“Oh! Um, I didn’t really… uh mean to say that out loud…? Heh, sorry… just not really… um, open to talk about that?” Virgil stammered out, shrinking into his hoodie.
“Heyheyhey, no need to worry about it! I’m not gonna pressure you into something you don’t wanna talk about. After all, this is therapy, we’re gonna go through worse. Probably.” Roman quickly responded in a panicked state. Virgil buried his face in his hands once more, muttering “don’t remind me we’re in therapy”. Roman smiled. He didn’t want to call it too soon, but… maybe he could make a friend?
--
After talking for about 10 minutes, everyone had arrived and Becca called them into the back. From here, it was a game of ‘try to get to the check-in room first’ to get into one of the two spinny chairs. Usually, Patton and Roman would get the chairs, as Logan would say, “There’s no use grabbing a revolving chair when we’re only going to be here for a few minutes.” But with the addition of Virgil to their daily group, Roman wanted to make sure he got one of those seats. They were the most comfortable, and they were fun! Both were a plus.
Arriving first in the room, he plopped down into a spinny chair, spinning himself around before grabbing a check-in sheet. Success!
Becca joined him in the room soon after, Virgil trailing behind her. After Becca handed Virgil a sheet and motioned for him to choose a seat, he sat in the swivel chair beside Roman.
Patton and Logan joined them soon after, having been walking slower while they talked. Patton didn’t look disappointed as he lost the title of Swivel Chair Holder, only smiled brighter as he grabbed a sheet and asked Logan to sit beside him.
Logan himself, however, looked at Virgil and winced, presumably because of his behavior the other day. Logan looked apprehensive, torn between sitting by Patton or apologizing to Virgil. But once Becca kneeled down to show Virgil what to fill out, Logan knew his chance was gone.
Well, that’s what Roman thought, anyway.
The room was silent other than the sound of pen on paper. Roman tapped his foot unconsciously as he thought.
See, at Sanders, they ask you to rate your anxiety, avoidance, and depression every day. But instead of using 0-5 or 0-10 they decided to use a 0-7 scale for who knows why.
So, what was his anxiety today? Roman bit the inside of his cheek as he thought. Maybe a 4? Or maybe a 5? Well, seeing as his anxiety was raising as he struggled to find an answer, he put down 5. As for avoidance and depression, 3 and 4 respectively.
Just a couple more questions down, and then he was free to doodle. It had become a ritual during his time here, despite not being here that long. Today’s piece of art was a doodle of a Prince. A crown, sash, and a dazzling grin, and he was done. He glanced up to see Virgil was the only one still filling out the sheet.
Well, he supposed he could add some more sparkles.
Once Virgil was done, Becca clapped her hands and asked for them to share. Patton went first, going through his emotion, his anxiety, avoidance + depression, and other questions. Logan was next, doing the same but refusing to share his emotion. Then it was Roman’s turn, and he sped through it as quick as possible, not wanting to concern any of the others.
On Virgil’s turn, he went quiet and stuttered numerous times throughout the reading. He was reluctant to speak about the bottom four questions, specifically. Well, kinda. There were the two questions of ‘since yesterday have you had thoughts of harming others/have you actually done it’. There was also the ‘have you had thoughts of harming yourself/done it’. Quietly, Virgil asked not to share, and Becca agreed, though looking thoroughly disappointed.
--
Pulling out his binder and a pen with an excessive plume, Roman sat down at the middle table. Patton and Logan sat near him, while Virgil took a seat at a corner table, Becca joining him soon after to brief him on the ins and outs. Keep in mind, there were only three tables, so the options were at a minimum.
Shocked back into reality by someone sitting next to him, he turned to see the other therapist, Charlie, seated at his right.
“Hello, Roman! You finished your introduction exposure yesterday, right?” She asked. And she was right, yesterday had been spent introducing himself to the various staff around the building, and at the extreme lack of such, had to introduce himself to some of them twice . At Roman’s nod, she continued.
“So, today we’ll set you up with a couple more exposures, based on what you’ve told us. So, here,” she started, pointing at the next unnamed category on the page. “The first exposure is to put a mark on your face. It has to be noticeable, too. Just use a pen for that one, you don’t need anything special. Then all you need to do is talk to people.”
Nodding, Roman scribbled it down on the page, telling himself he wouldn’t do that one until he absolutely had to.
“And the next one is just wearing jewelry. Anything like a necklace, bracelets, rings, will work fine. You won’t have to wear them the whole day, just do trials for about 30 seconds. If you don’t have anything to wear right now just bring some tomorrow and we’ll start then.”
Fuck. Now he had to.
“Uh, yeah I don’t have any… jewelry. So, for the first one, do I gotta like… do any specific thing, like a word or…?”
“Just a line will do.”
And with that, Roman got up to go to ask to go to the bathroom, only stopped by Charlie’s hand on his arm. He gave her a questioning look.
“I was just gonna go to the bathroom… to put the mark on my face. Is something wrong?” He asked. Charlie shook her head.
“Do it here. If you use the mirror, it will loosen some of the anxiety. The point of this is to combat the anxiety, full on. No avoiding.”
“But I like avoiding.” Roman mumbled to himself. He didn’t think anyone heard, but the quiet giggle from Patton proved otherwise. Charlie just gave him an encouraging smile.
Sitting back down, Roman picked up his pen, while Charlie walked to her computer. Roman stared at the pen as if he were about to make a life-changing decision.
Just put the pen on your face, it’s not that hard . Except it was hard, at least for him. God, he really was a failure if he couldn’t force himself to make a mark on his face.
It was oh-so-simple. A mark on the face. But all Roman could think of were the consequences. They could laugh at him, they could ignore it, and worst of all, they could point it out . Just the thought of people making assumptions or putting themselves in awkward situations just because they didn’t want to embarass him made him want to throw himself off a roof.
He could feel his hands shaking, and, looking down, the rest of him was shaking too. Calm down, he told himself. What was one of the coping methods he learned?
Name 5 things you can see. He glanced around. The table, the window, Patton, Virgil, and his binder. Okay.
4 things you can feel. His clothes, the chair. He could feel his hair flopping into his face, and suddenly another spark of anxiety ignited in his chest. Deep breathing, Roman. Deep breathing. He could feel his hands starting to shake again.
3 things you can hear. All he could hear was the tap of fingers against a keyboard, what else… He strained to hear, and found he could hear the cars on the highway, something his brain had apparently decided to discard. And the sound of the door opening, with Logan walking in to prove it.
What was next? 2 things you could smell. Okay, well, he couldn’t smell much. There was the smell of mint, but other than that he couldn’t smell anything. He found himself glancing around, anxiety increasing once more. And, yes! A whiff of perfume blew past his nose.
1 thing you can taste. Well, not much. Did the inside of this mouth count? Well, he supposed it had to, since he wasn’t about to go lick the wall.
Roman took another few moments to himself, distracting himself by tapping his foot against the floor.
-
He found himself in front of Nurse Vicki’s office, a pen mark on his face and the dread of what was to come. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door and let himself in.
Vicki turned to him. “Hello, Roman,” she greeted. “What do you need?”
What was he supposed to say? Charlie told him he wasn’t supposed to mention the mark, and rather to just make small talk. He would rather have had a topic but he hadn’t taken those improv classes for nothing!
“How has your day been?” he said.
Welp. He had taken those improv classes for nothing.
Vicki explained that she was doing well, she had gone to her sister’s house after group yesterday, so she was happy about that. She didn’t mention the mark.
Thank god .
He cycled through a couple other staff, anxiety slowly loosening its grip as he progressed. And no one had pointed out the mark! When he looked at his sheet after his sixth trial, he noticed his anxiety had went from a 6 to a 4, and he was feeling proud of himself as he walked into the hallway once more.
He spotted Virgil down the hall, fiddling with the timer in his hands. Roman strutted towards him, intending to make Virgil his seventh trial of the mark exposure.
“Hey, Virgil, you busy?” he asked. Virgil shook his head. “Aight, cool. How’re exposure’s going so far?”
“I don’t like them.” Came his response. Roman laughed, replying with, “No one likes them.”
“All I’ve been doing is introducing myself but… I introduced myself to all the staff and I still have 4 trials to go before I’m finished and, honestly-” Virgil ran a hand through his hair, voice strained. “I don’t know what to do and I’ll feel awkward asking Becca what I’m supposed to do now… Sorry for ranting…” He finished.
Roman smiled. “I just finished that exposure yesterday, and Charlie, er, the other therapist, told me we can introduce ourselves to the same staff twice.” Virgil wrinkled his nose at this, frowning slightly.
“If I’m being honest, that’s even worse.” Virgil started fidgeting with the edge of his hoodie. He seemed apprehensive about something, whatever it was Roman had no clue.
“Uh, also… you have a mark on your face. Uh, just figured I’d tell you, sorry”
And with that, Roman felt his anxiety get to a 7 faster than soda out of a newly opened can. “Heh, yeah. I mean, uh- thanks, Virgil. I’ll fix it when I can. Um, gotta go now, so, see ya!” He called as he powerwalked his way back to the cafeteria. He could barely hear anything as he sat down in his seat, staring out the window across from him. Oh, god. Someone had noticed. Someone had noticed and now he was going to laugh at him behind his back. He was going to tell Patton, and Logan, just how stupid Roman was. Roman stopped breathing for a few moments, trying to calm himself down.
Virgil wouldn’t do that, he was just trying to be helpful. And Roman had run away from him, oh god , he was probably confused and Roman had not helped the situation. He supposed he would have to apologize later, he was too frazzled now. He wanted so bad to wipe the mark off his face, but he knew Charlie and Becca would be disappointed in him if he did.
5 minutes later, he felt much calmer, his breathing normal, and his chest felt less compressed. His anxiety had come to a 3, so he stopped the timer at 6 minutes and 24 seconds. He scribbled down the results as Virgil came back into the room, seemingly just out of an exposure, so Roman gave him a smile in lieu of an apology, not allowed to talk to someone while they were in the middle of an exposure.
Roman decided he would apologize at rec.
--
Roman never got to apologize. Today’s rec was a hands-on activity that left him with no time to talk to Virgil. And just after rec, he saw Logan talking with him, and since he didn’t want to stay there too long, Roman decided he would just get in the elevator.
His mind told him he should take the stairs, else he would just gain more weight.
Once he got down, he took some time to shuffle through his binder, he had a weird feeling that he left something, and-
The elevator dinged, and the door opened as Virgil, Logan, Patton, and their parents shuffled out. Patton tugged on his mom’s shirt, telling her to stop for a moment. He practically bounced up to Roman, a grin on his face.
“Roman! I’m glad I caught you. I got Virgil and Logan’s phone numbers, and I was wondering if I could have yours? No pressure, of course! But it’d be nice if we were in touch outside of therapy. And I can give you the other’s numbers so we’re ALL in touch!” Patton extended his phone to Roman, the latter of which taking it and inputting his number. Maybe this could work out after all?
[ Hey, this is Roman and I sure as hell hope this is Virgil.]
| yea its virgil |
[ Oh thank god. Just wanted to say sorry for running off on you earlier, wouldve said it after rec but i saw you talking with Logan and didnt want to intrude. ]
| don’t worry about it, it’s fine. |
| what’s not fine is you sending that right as i walk into my house |
| i nearly faceplanted the ground cause of you |
[ And i oop- ]
| did |
| please tell me that was ironic |
| i might have a stroke if it wasn’t |
[ Youll never know ;) ]
| oh my god |
| i just |
| i can’t |
| have a good night Roman |
[ Right back at you, buckaroo ]
| oh my god  |
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