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#(after getting an interview for a position doing something im literally studying) oh
ningningsdream · 4 years
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keep it low | mk.l
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pairing: music student!mark x music student!fem reader
genre: fluff, angst, roommates-to-lovers
word count: 6.5k
warning(s): swearing, maybe a little suggestive (mention of making out and implicit allusion to sex but no smut)
description: in which you didn’t expect to also be a love counselor when you moved in with your new roommate.
a/n: this is apart of my new series of roommates-to-lovers with the dreamies, sweet life
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when you were younger, you’ve always expected to stick with your best friends after highschool, having the best uni experience together, being roommates and all but you never expected almost all of them to either go study abroad or in a university far away from yours. you went to Seoul Music University, a prestigious school you had the chance to attend thanks to your good grades and the entrance interview you nailed a few months before receiving your acceptance letter. the only ‘bad thing’ about being accepted at SMU was that you lived really far away from Seoul but one of your friends who knew people at SMU told you that there was this building known to house a lot of students from the university. even though the building wasn’t linked to the school, it was treated as if it was part of it since most of the person living in that building went to SMU because it was literally five minutes away from the university.
you asked your friend to ask her friends at SMU if they knew anyone who needed a roommate and that was how you ended up with mark lee’s number.
you: hey, is this mark?
possible future roommate: uhm yes? who is this?
you: im y/n, my friend gave me your number because your friends said you were looking for a roommate? and im actually looking for a place to live
possible future roommate: oh right!
possible future roommate: do you want to come see the place tomorrow?
you: mmh yeah that would be great
possible future roommate: great, just text me when you’re downstairs, i’ll come and get you
you: you’re not a creepy dude that’s going to kill me right?
possible future roommate: no
possible future roommate: even if i was, i wouldn’t admit it
you: really reassuring 😭
the first time you met mark, let’s just say that you didn’t expect him to look like that. you didn’t know what you were expecting but surely not a cute guy with glasses and a dorky smile. as for mark, he almost fell on the floor when he first saw you -literally, his feet somehow got tangled-, he was nervous about the possible idea of having a girl as a roommate. to end the awkward silence he asked you questions about yourself which you returned.
mark learned that you were starting your first year at SMU, that you were going to study musical analysis and songwriting and that you needed a place to stay because your hometown was far away whereas you learned that mark was already in his second year at SMU making him one year older than you, that he was studying musical composition and sounds aesthetics and that his ex-roommate moved out to move in with his girlfriend.
mark gave you a little apartment tour which was surprisingly pretty neat. it was a lot bigger and more luminous than you expected. the room that was supposed to be yours was simple yet cozy. mark told you everything you needed to know about the rent, the neighbors, etc. and you agreed to be his roommate.
living with mark was pretty simple at first. you two didn’t really get out of your rooms so you wouldn’t interact often, just short greetings when you bumped into each other in the hallway or the kitchen. but the peaceful atmosphere changed when uni started. you two saw each other even less than before, having different majors and different schedules but you sure were hearing him more.
well not him, his music.
it was pretty soft at first, you could barely hear it but as weeks passed by, the volume became louder and louder. you would sometimes go to his door, knocking on it with an annoyed expression on your face but every time he would open the door with this apologetic face, looking at you like a stray puppy with his doe eyes while apologizing for the noise, promising to turn it down, you couldn’t be mad at him, not with that face.
every morning for the past month, you needed a cup of coffee - even though you hated coffee - to stay awake all day long.
“why are you so sleepy again?”, lia, the only friend that followed you throughout your entire life, asked you as she saw your half-open eyelids.
“my roommate stayed up so late, blasting his music through the speakers in his room. i’m still surprised we didn’t have any complaints yet.”, you said, before putting a hand on your mouth to yawn.
“tell him to turn it down.”
“already tried but it seems like he instinctively turns it back up gradually.”
“then tell him to shut his freaking music off so you could get some beauty sleep.”
“can’t.”
“why?”
“because he always looks at me so apologetically that i can’t get angry.”
“girl, you have a crush on him or something?”
“nah, he just has that kind of face, you know?”
one night, apart from the beats and music coming from mark’s room, you also heard his voice, stopping mid-sentence every time to see if the lyrics were good. this time the song was a lot slower and softer than the usual stuff he would do so instead of keeping you awake, it kind of lull you to sleep. the next morning, you felt refreshed and more energetic as you had your eight hours of sleep.
“you looked better today girl! what happened?”, lia asked enthusiastically as you sat down next to her.
“finally got a good night of sleep.”
during your classes, from time to time, your brain would hum what you identified as mark’s song from last night, lyrics popping here and there in your brain, a mix of the one you heard from him and new ones you just made up. you wrote them down on a random piece of paper as they seemed to be stuck in your brain.
later that day, you were sitting on your bed while going through the list of first years in the composition class to find a partner for this project you have to do for your writing class. every year, students from these two classes would collaborate to create a song and it was supposed to represent 35% of your semester’s grade so it was pretty important. to choose a partner, your professors had made this list thing where they put the students’ music profiles next to their name so that everyone can collaborate with someone that had the same interests musically. the few students you managed to pick already had a partner and the process of selecting other students was already tiring you.
as you were about to dive in the list again you heard mark’s voice starting to sing the same song that lulled you to sleep. you could clearly hear the hesitation in his voice as the lyrics came out. your eyes wandered to the stacks on notebooks on your desk in which was the piece of paper you wrote lyrics to his song on and you thought about it for a moment. should you give him the lyrics you wrote or should you just let him do his thing? after all, he never meant to share the song with you.
after a hot minute of thinking, you stood up and went to your desk, taking the piece of paper out of one of your notebooks and headed to mark’s room.
when he heard the knock on his door, mark thought he knew what you wanted to tell him. he thought it was the usual 'can you turn it down?’ question so he opened the door and went, “i’m sorr-”, but you interrupted him by giving him the paper with the lyrics on it before going back to your room without saying anything. mark stood there with a frown on his face, trying to understand what just happened. he looked at the piece of paper you just gave him and recognized some of his lyrics along with unknown ones. he started to sing it in his head as he closed the door walking to his desk and decided to give it a try with the music.
you sat on your bed, waiting impatiently for his next move. a few seconds later, you heard mark singing the lyrics you gave him to his instrumental and found yourself smiling at how good it was. satisfied with how smooth the song sounded now without mark interrupting himself every second, trying to find better words, you were about to dive right back in that list of students, determined to find a partner when your roommate barged into your room.
“sure mark, come in.”, you said, sarcastically rolling your eyes.
“sorry…”, he quickly apologized, rubbing the back of his neck, “the lyrics you gave me, how-”
“i can hear everything coming from your room mark, the lyrics just popped in my head this morning as your song was stuck in my brain.”
“it’s- it’s really good. the lyrics.”
“well thanks. i am studying that after all.”
“i- uhm…are you busy right now?”, he asked, his shyness taking over his body.
“oh uhm i have to find a partner for that composition-songwriting project.”, you sighed before turning your attention back to the list.
mark nodded a little bit disappointed. he wanted to ask you if you wanted to maybe, possibly help him with his song but since you were busy with that project- wait, he too had the same project to do.
“do you want to do it with me?”, mark’s voice suddenly surprised you as you thought he already left.
“what?”, you asked because you didn’t really hear his question as your focus was on your laptop.
“the project. want to do it together?”, he asked, full of hope.
“aren’t we supposed to do it with someone from our year?”
“i’ll ask mr.kim if i can do it with you, only if you want to though.”, he said, rubbing the back of his neck. you nodded with a smile. now, you could stop going through that hell of a list. after receiving a positive answer from your professors, you and mark started to work on your song.
at first, you thought that the two of you would just work on the project, you didn’t expect to actually get to know your roommate more. you spent the last few nights in mark’s bedroom, working on your song while having some extra fun because your roommate was unexpectedly a bigger dork than you thought.
“how about we change these lyrics to those?”, you suggested, showing mark the two sentences.
the song you were making was supposed to be a sad and heartbreaking one and you wanted the lyrics to hit deep in people’s soul.
“damn girl, who hurt you?”, mark’s question made you smile, satisfied with his reaction.
you yawned a few minutes later, falling onto mark’s bed while stretching, “i’m just going to rest my eyes for five minutes. if i fall asleep, wake me up.”
you opened your eyes and it was the next morning, you panicked for a moment before remembering that it was sunday and that you didn’t have any classes to attend. you rubbed your eyes and looked around the room but saw no trace of mark. you heard some rustling in the kitchen so you walked out of mark’s room, stopping by the bathroom before joining your roommate in the kitchen.
“why didn’t you wake me up?”
“you were so cute, i didn’t want to wake you up.”, your ears perked up at the compliment while mark was trying to correct himself out of embarrassment, “i-i-i mean peaceful, yeah peaceful, you looked peaceful. anyway, breakfast?”
you smiled at how dorky he was, realizing what you’ve been missing out on during the first part of your semester.
“what’s for breakfast?”
“i tried to make eggs but they didn’t turn out great…gordon ramsay would be ashamed.”, mark said, rubbing the back of his neck with a little embarrassed smile.
“it can’t be worse than your curry that smelled like burned chicken.”, you commented, thinking about the time your roommate said he would try and cook something new but it turned out real bad and you just ended up ordering jajangmyeon.
“it wasn’t that bad.”, he corrected softly, earning a look from you which made him admit the disaster that was his attempt at cooking.
“oh by the way, where did you sleep?”
“on the couch.”
“that must have been so uncomfortable, you don’t even fit on the couch! you could’ve just lied beside me, it’s no big deal.”
“i’m a sleep cuddler, didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“i wouldn’t have minded the cuddling.”, you jokingly shrugged as mark felt his ears becoming redder and redder. you took a bite of his eggs and frowned a bit, “they are surprisingly okay.”
the more time you spent with mark, the more you learned to love these little things about him, like how he would get excited and laugh his heart out while clapping hard or kicking his legs or how he played his music a little too loud at night because 1. you were now in the room with him and not trying to sleep and 2. you admired how dedicated he was to his music. even if you still asked him to keep it low when you went back to your room, you would always smile when you heard his music increasing slowly.
mark would also slowly get more comfortable around you, letting his weird but cute little quirks come out more often like now when you two go grocery shopping together he didn’t have to hide his excitement every time he saw watermelons.
“you wanna grab dinner tonight?”, lia aked you as you sat next to her in class.
“sorry, i can’t tonight. mark and i are staying late to record our song for the project.”, you said with a little pout.
“oh so you and mark huh? you’ve become quite close.”, lia wiggled her eyebrows at you, subtly hinting at something.
“well yeah, he’s my roommate after all.”, you simply reply, ignoring her teasing.
“you were still calling him 'your roommate’ a few months ago, i didn’t even know his name was mark.”, lia deadpanned.
“i just need time to get to know people.”
“i’m sure you two will really get to know each other in that dark studio all alone.”
“one, nothing is going to happen and two, we’re not going to be alone, mark asked his friend to sing the demo so we’re not going to be alone.”
“mmmh i still ship it though.”, your friend smirked before turning back to writing her notes.
after your last class of the day, you went back to your apartment to take a shower and chill a little, waiting for mark’s 6pm class to end.
sucky cook 🍳: my class ends in 15 minutes, meet me in front of the room?
you grabbed your bag, put your shoes on, and made your way to mark’s classroom on the composition side of the campus. you took a peek into each classroom to see if mark was in there -thanks to the little window on the door. when you finally spotted him, you waited patiently for five minutes before the door opened, startling you.
“it’s me.”, the familiar laugh made you frown and hit the arm of the person it belonged to.
“marrrk, you scared me! you could’ve opened the door softer goddamnit!”, you complained as you two walked to the studios’ area.
“oh come on, you scaredy-cat.”, he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and messing your freshly dried hair up.
after you two stopped by the studio reservation office to grabbed the key card of the studio you two reserved for that day, you entered the little dark studio and started to prepare the tracks and everything.
mark’s friend, donghyuck, arrived a few minutes later and introduced himself to you. you discovered that donghyuck was your age and that he wasn’t really a singer or anything, mark just liked the tone of his voice which you agree with. you three were so concentrated on the recording that you didn’t even notice how many hours had passed by until your stomach growled.
“oh wow it’s 8pm already. we should take a break and get something to eat.”, you said after looking at the time on your phone.
“don’t worry, i already took care of that. i texted my roommate to bring us some food.”, donghyuck said.
“oh by the way, your voice is really nice. have you considered being a singer professionally?”, you asked him while you three waited for donghyuck’s roommate.
“no, not really. i didn’t really know that i knew how to sing until mark made a comment about it.”
“you should really consider the option though. i’ve never heard a voice like yours, it’s really unique and recognizable. honestly, you could make it as a singer.”
“it’s not that special…”, mark quietly said, hiding the sulkiness in his voice.
donghyuck eyed mark as the two of you started to argue -not really- on donghyuck’s voice with you being almost more offended at mark’s comment than the one it was about. the younger boy’s eyes went back and forth between the two of you as he would slowly start to realize something.
mark was the first one to tell him that his voice was great and was always the one who praised the uniqueness of his tone so why the sudden change?
was mark lee…jealous?
donghyuck was trying to hide his smile at the thought of a jealous mark lee when you all heard a knock on the door. donghyuck opened it, being the closest one to the door and revealing a short girl behind it, holding bags of food.
“you’re lucky i owe you big time.”, his roommate said, handing him two bags that donghyuck hurriedly took.
“you kids enjoy this.”, he said, putting one of them on the mini table, and then he turned back to his roommate, pushing her outside the studio, “we have to be somewhere.”
before his roommate could even protest, donghyuck had already closed the door, leaving mark and you alone with a lot of questions going through your head.
you two started to eat while talking about your lives, “so how did you meet donghyuck?”
“oh he knew one of my friends, johnny, and we met at a party of his. i thought he was a brat at first.”, mark replied, earning a laugh from you.
“what about now?”
“he’s still a brat…but he’s also one of my closest friends. i-”, mark was interrupted by his phone ringing but when he checked who was calling him, you could see the hesitation in his eyes before he declined it, “sorry, i’m going to put it on mute.”
after mark’s little story about donghyuck puking on his shoes once when he was drunk, not because on the alcohol but just because he wanted to, you two went back to your songs.
“maybe right there we can enhance the-”, mark stopped again in the middle of his sentence to look at the caller id on his phone for what seemed like the hundredth time to you.
along with the calls he has also received some messages which you didn’t read because you respected his private life and at that moment, it was maybe because of your tiredness or just the annoyance of that caller that didn’t seem to understand that mark was busy but you said, “you can answer it if you want.”
“nah, it’s okay. i don’t want to talk to that person.”, mark replied, giving you a sad little smile which you wondered the meaning behind it.
mark continued his explanation and you started exchanging ideas when the caller id appeared, again.
enough was enough for you.
you took mark’s phone and answered the call, “hello, can you stop calling please? we’ll really appreciate it, thank you.”, you didn’t even wait for the caller’s response and immediately hung up.
a sudden feeling of guilt took over you as you realized you’ve just invaded his private life. you shouldn’t have answered that call for him.
without even noticing it you started to ramble, “i-i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have done that. i overstepped-”
“it’s alright, it’s alright. if anything i have to thank you.”, mark reassured you even though you still felt a little bad about the situation.
after you answered that call, the person stopped bothering mark and you managed to finish your song that night. you felt so relieved after that, you had more time to rest and more time to hang out with lia, it felt like forever since the two of you hung out.
“so tell me everything about you and mark? how is it going?”, lia asked, dropping the delivery food you two ordered on her coffee table.
you and lia decided to have a movie night but it was more of a 'catch-me-up-on-everything-happening-in-your-life’ night while you were both eating fried chicken.
“i already told you! there’s nothing between mark and me.”
“you sure of that? nothing happened? at all? not even a tiny teeny thing?”
“well…”
“i knew it! tell me everything!”
“it’s nothing, really, nothing at all. there was just that one time, we were taking a break from the song for our project and i spotted the guitar in the corner of his room so i asked him if he knew how to play. he said yes and you know me i always talk about my life so i told him that i’ve always wanted to learn how to play the guitar. then he handed it to me and told me it was easy, he started to teach me the basic notes and everything, it even came to a point where his arms were around me because he was putting my fingers in the right places and when i turned to look at him, our faces were so close.”, lia let out a little squeal at your story, “but nothing happened!”, you clarified as your friend’s expression changed from excited to disappointed.
“why not?!”
“because- because we’re roommates!”
“so what?”
“it will be awkward if we broke up. i’m really not ready to find another roommate.”, you explained.
“but what if you’re missing on something?”, your friend argued, not wanting you to regret anything.
“i’ve never been really lucky in that area of my life…”, you stated, reminiscing your past relationship.
“you know it’s been a long time right? you have the right to try with someone new.”, lia reassured you, knowing exactly where your mind was going.
“i know but we were so good together, i don’t know if i can ever find someone like him.”
“y/n, sweetie, you’re not supposed to find someone like him. just find someone who can make you as happy as he did if not even happier.”
“i have you, that’s enough.”, you said, wrapping your arms around lia.
“my girlfriend would not agree with that.”, lia replied with a chuckle.
“why not? we could be the hottest throuple.”, you retorted jokingly.
“never suggest that to my girlfriend, she might accept.”, lia said, making the both of you laugh.
before it got too late, you left lia’s apartment to go back to yours. luckily, her building was just a couple of minutes away from yours, so it didn’t take you long to come back to your dorm. when the elevator’s doors opened, you got out and walked to your door while texting lia that you got home safely but when you looked up, you saw mark and another girl kissing in front of your shared apartment’s door. you froze for a moment as your eyes widened, your phone slipped out of your hands and fell to the ground, causing a big and loud noise to erupt, making the couple stop in their heated action.
“i-i-”, you stuttered, picking your phone up from the ground, “i am so sorry. i-i’m going to go…uhm…you guys…continue what you were doing-”
“no, please stay. she was going to leave.”, mark said, without an ounce of emotion in his voice but his eyes were begging you.
the girl eyed you then mark and left without saying a word. mark walked back into your apartment, letting the door open for you to enter. you closed the door and removed your shoes before turning around ready to apologize again but when you did so, mark had already disappeared into his room. you sighed and made your way to your own room. you changed into your pajamas and lied in your bed. you tossed and turned for what seemed like an hour, failing to fall asleep. the previous scene seemed to be stuck in your head, you felt incredibly embarrassed, not only because you interrupted mark and that girl you’ve never seen before but also by the fact that maybe you were starting to develop a tiny crush on your roommate.
after some more tossing and turning, you decided to get up and made your way to mark’s room.
maybe apologizing to him will make you feel more at ease about the whole situation.
you knocked on the door, fiddling with your fingers while waiting for mark to open it.
as you heard the door open, the words immediately came out of you, “i am honestly so sorry about what happened earlier, i know i already apologized but i feel like-”, you looked up to see mark’s bloodshot eyes, sadly staring at you, “are you okay?”, your roommate just sniffed in response which you took as a no. your expression softened at how he looked…lost and conflicted.
“do you think i should get back with my ex?”, mark opened his mouth to ask and his voice sounded so fragile.
“okay…we definitely need to have a conversation.”, you said, putting your hands on his shoulders and turned him around, pushing him into his room. you closed the door behind the two of you and sat down on his bed. you grabbed one of his pillows and hugged it while making yourself comfortable, “now tell me what’s up.”
mark sighed and sat next to you, “the girl you saw earlier is my ex-girlfriend.”
“well if you’ve been smooching her like that then yeah you should get back together. seems like you still have feelings.”, you said, even though you may had a crush on him, you were mature enough to put your feelings aside and answer honestly.
“she cheated on me.”
your eyes widened and you quickly corrected yourself, “then don’t get back with her. never. EVER.”
“but-”
“no but! she cheated on you once, if you forgive her now, she’ll think she can get away with it again because you forgave her the first time.”
mark sighed and looked down, his phone vibrated next to him on his bed, “it’s her.”
“don’t answer! give me your phone!”
“no!”
“mark!”, you almost jumped to reach for his phone and your body was literally crushing his. you grabbed his phone and turned towards him saying, “if she didn’t appreciate you enough the first time, she doesn’t get to have a second chance. please don’t let people you love treat you like shit.”
mark suddenly wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly against his own body. you let out a small surprised noise at the unexpected hug but let yourself melt into it anyway, “can we stay like that for a moment?”
“of course.”, you whispered, wrapping your arms around him, rubbing his back.
after that night, you made a mission to help mark get over his ex.
first step was to make mark block his ex’s number. it was tough but after some convincing talk, you managed to persuade him.
second step was to let mark express what he felt about his ex and the whole situation.
“so you want me to write down…my feelings? how am i suppose to do that?”
“just- just write down what you’re feeling. sad, happy, disappointed?”
“are you sure this is going to work?”
“well, you won’t be a 100% okay but you’ll feel better.”
mark sighed and complied. he looked down at the blank piece of paper and scribbled some words. few minutes had passed as mark tried to word his feelings while you were trying to play the guitar - keyword 'trying’.
“i can’t do this!”, you heard mark complain and put his guitar aside to get up and see how he was doing.
“three words? really?”, you asked, looking at the three scribbled words on the piece of paper.
mark stood up and walked to his bed, “i’m not good at expressing myself with words. you’re the songwriting student here!”, the little pout and frown on his face made your heart do that weird little thing.
“okay, fine. let’s do this differently. tell me how you feel in your own way. let’s start with how you felt when you found out about the whole cheating thing.”, you said while looking at the boy falling down on his bed.
“i-i was…angry? sad?”
“angry at her?”
“at myself.”
“why?”
“i-i don’t know- i- feel like it was my fault. maybe if i was like i don’t know, a better boyfriend? i should’ve...saw it coming? change things? like say ‘i love you’ more often?”
“so what you’re saying is that you’re angry at yourself because you think it’s your fault? you think that you could’ve done something to prevent it like being a better boyfriend or telling her you love her more frequently so she wouldn’t have gone to someone else for it?”, you tried to rephrase his messy thoughts into something less messy and more structured.
“wow, you’re good.”, mark said, pretty impressed by how quick your brain worked.
“mark…”, you sat next to him, “you really should stop blaming yourself.”, you put your hand over his, tapping it in comfort, “what stopped you from getting back with her?
"i…don’t…really know? i guess a part of me had doubts because i felt betrayed. you know, it was my friend renjun who told me about it, she didn’t even have the guts to do it.”
“see, this part of you knows that you’re worth more than that. listen to it more often.”, you commented, flicking his forehead, earning a complaint from him, “feel better?”
“better.”, he let out a sigh as his body relaxed after letting out all those feelings he tried to suppress.
third step was to distract mark from thinking about his ex.
you barged into mark’s room screaming, “get your ass prepped because we’re going out tonight!!”
“what are you talking about?”, mark asked, removing his earphones.
“seoul’s music festival!!”, you screamed, holding two tickets up, “lia’s girlfriend knows someone that got us free tickets!!”
“well, enjoy.”, mark replied, putting his earphones back on.
you frowned and walked to him to remove his earphones, “what do you mean? you’re coming with me!”
“nah i’m good.”
“i wasn’t asking. this is step three of the 'getting-over-my-ex’ plan. you need to get out and have fun. i’ve never seen you go out to have fun even once.”
“that’s an exaggeration. i do have fun…sometimes.”
“when was the last time you had 'fun’?”
“i-”, he stopped to think about it for a moment and realized that he didn’t even remember the last time he actually had fun outside with his friends, “fine, i’ll come.”
you two arrived at the festival and you already felt the vibe of the outdoor event. it had a really strong korean coachella feel to it. there was a big stage in the middle of the grass, multiple food trucks selling delicious foods, and lots of people dancing. you grabbed mark’s hand and dragged him to the middle of the crowd of people jamming to the group on stage. you joined in and started to jump up and down while screaming the lyrics to the familiar song. mark smiled while following your actions, enjoying his time with you. you two engaged into a little dancing relay as each of you did a funny weird dance that made the other laugh.
when the two of you got tired, you got away from the stage and the people to buy some delicious food before sitting down on the grass a little away from the festival where you could hear each other talk.
“i’m curious about something.”, mark said, taking a bite of his food.
“hit me.”
“how do you know all these things about getting over someone?”
“well first, the internet exists and second, that’s what lia used on me to make me get over my ex.”
“what happened?”, mark asked curiously, realizing that he didn’t know a thing about your dating life when you know so much about his already.
“well, nothing bad BAD happened, we broke up because he was going to study abroad and i stayed here. i was expecting it so it could’ve affected me worse than it did i guess.”
“do you miss him?”
“sometimes, but then i don’t know if i miss him or what we had and that’s a whole other question.”, you sighed before checking the time, “oh, already?! let’s go check the temporary tattoo area!”
you got up discarding your empty plates in the nearest trashcan and grabbed mark’s hand for you didn’t even how many times tonight. mark didn’t seem to hate it, on the contrary, he quite like the feeling of your small hand in his and he wondered how his fingers would feel intertwined with yours. the answer is perfectly. as he slipped his fingers between yours, you turned to look at him with a confused look on your face that turned into a genuine smile which your roommate returned.
you got a temporary tattoo of a poppy flower in color on the inner side of your forearm and mark got one of a lion on his ankle (something like this but like a lion).
“i can’t believe i got a tattoo. what’s my mom going to think?”, mark said in disbelief as you two walked back to your dorm hand in hand.
“it’s a temporary one, you silly. stop being dramatic.”, you rolled your eyes playfully at him.
“thank you for tonight by the way. it was really fun.”, mark let you entered the apartment first still holding onto your hand as you replied.
“see, you should go out more often. get laid from time to time, one night stands are not that bad. i’m going to change out of this now, goodn-”, as soon as you let go of mark’s hand, your roommate grabbed it again.
“wait!”, mark pulled you back, his other hand instinctively and gently placed itself on your cheek and his lips softly landed on yours.
you were surprised but kissed him back nonetheless. your eyes closed as your whole body enjoyed how mark was making you feel right now. you both pulled away for air and you heard mark ask, “wanna be my one night stand?”
you searched his face for any sign of him kidding but he seemed pretty serious about it, “this is completely physical, right?”
“completely.”, both of you knew that it wasn’t only physical but it’ll suffice for now.
your arms automatically sneaked around his neck and his hands grasped on your hips, bringing your body closer to his as you two engaged into a heated make-out session that turned into more for the rest of the night.
the next morning, the light of the sun coming through the window annoyingly stirring you out of your deep sleep.
can’t a girl just enjoy her morning free of any classes?
wait. this blanket didn’t smell like yours.
your eyes widened as you looked at your surroundings, blushing at the memories of last night. you lied back in mark’s bed wondering where your roommate was. you grabbed your phone on the bedside table and noticed that mark sent you a text.
sucky cook 🍳: hey, sorry i had to leave, didn’t want to be late for my morning class. wanna grab lunch together?
the text unknowingly made you smile as you got out of bed to get ready. when you stepped out of your building, the sun was high in the sky, the wind was softly brushing against your skin and you felt amazing. making your way to mark’s class, you politely greeted the people you knew in the hallways.
mark was impatiently waiting for his morning class to finish, wanting to finally be able to ask you out on a real date. he would’ve loved to ask you before what happened the night before but he sure was not complaining. you made his heart do all sorts of flips and just the thought of you made him all giggly.
“what’s up with you today? you look extra happy.”, his friend, lucas, asked him, after noticing a change in his 'aura’.
“really?”, lucas nodded as an answer and mark just giggled while scratching the back of his neck, “it’s nothing- i mean- no, no, it’s not nothing- i mean- i-”
“ooooh you got laid.”, lucas chuckled as mark tried to shush him, “i didn’t take you for a one night stand kind of guy.”
“i’m not- i mean, it was but- what if i don’t want her to be just a one night stand?”
“oooh hooo mark lee, yes man. get your girl.”
you waited outside of his classroom like last time while scrolling through your phone when a girl stopped in front of the class and checked inside before leaning against the wall next to the door. you looked at her for a second before focusing back on your phone. she looked quite familiar but you didn’t know where you’ve seen her.
“excuse me, are you mark’s roommate?”, the girl hesitantly asked you, snapping you out of your thought.
oh right, mark’s ex.
“uhm…yes.”, you gave her a short answer, not wanting to continue this conversation but she didn’t seem to get it as she walked closer to you.
“what are you doing here?”
“i’m waiting for-”
“y/n!”, both of you turned to the direction the voice came from and you smiled at the boy walking towards you, “kyunhee? what are you doing here?”
“i- i was wondering if you wanted to, i don’t know, grab something to eat?”, she asked, bouncing back and forth on her heels while holding tightly onto her books.
“oh, sorry. i already planned something with y/n.”, mark said, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers together, “see you around, kyunhee.”
you still looked at mark with wide eyes as the two of you walked away, “what?”, he asked, noticing your expression.
“you just completed the fourth step without me telling you what it was.”
“what’s the fourth step?”
“rejecting your ex if they come back.”, you proudly said then added, “even though you didn’t have to hold onto my hand to do that.”
“well, i like holding your hand.”
“i thought it was just supposed to be a one night stand.”, you said, hinting at your previous night together.
“what if i want it to be more than a one night stand?”, mark asked, sending a hopeful smile your way.
“i’d like that very much.”, you smiled back at him, giving his hand a light squeeze.
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a/n: alright, i finally posted this!!!!! i hope you like it!! i posted this to celebrate nct 2020 and the two new members hnquhncfjkdfhsyufh i can’t wait aaaah and btw i love jisung’s hair so much rn
taglist: @planetjisungie​ @thatanonymousgirl-as14​ @xiao-zi​
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wolf-stark · 3 years
Note
You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!
tfatws weekly ask 1
i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember
first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)
the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.
the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:
with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff
speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf
my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!
did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)
mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle
tfatws weekly ask 2
just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops
when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️
speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")
after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew
this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended
bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.
conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship
in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???
if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that
the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized
as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho
look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be
bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.
OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??
-
TFATWS WA #1
Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.
1. Cool writing lesson.
2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.
3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.
4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.
5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.
6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.
And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.
7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.
8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.
TFATW WA #2
Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.
1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??
2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.
I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.
John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]
3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot
4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.
5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.
6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.
7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?
8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.
9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.
10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.
11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.
12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.
This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.
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uayv · 5 years
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its almost been one year since i graduated and i just have thoughts (and maybe i guess advice????) excuse me while i get sappy with myself.
i really cant believe its almost been a year since i graduated. i’ve seen so many people worrying about their future right before graduating high school or graduating college and it reminded me so much of myself. all i can say to you is that it’ll be okay. even when it feels like you arent or won’t be at least tell yourself it will be ok cause thats literally what i did. 
if you feel like you dont know what the fuck youre gonna do after graduation cause you dont know what to do with your degree or you don’t really feel like you have a specific passion?? join the club cause most people are in the same boat. literally for my whole life i didn’t know what the fuck i wanted to do. even when i was in first grade and yknow how everyone is like ‘oh i want to be an astronaut/doctor/firefighter/etc’ at that point i didnt ever have an answer except for be a spy cause bitch i loved totally spies and kim possible. Literally up till this point right now I still dont know what my ‘passion’ is. but in all honesty its ok.
your job/the industry you go into does not have to be your life mission. it does not and tbh in my eyes probably shouldnt define you as a person. 
if you’re still in school here’s the advice i would give: 
make the most of your time doing things that interest you or you feel good doing. -- hopefully you’re studying something you enjoy (even if youre not sure what job it will lead you into). make the most of the the time you have to just learn and soak up all the resources you have. i might be saying this cause my majors and minors literally have nothing to do with my job right now and i really miss learning about the subjects.
everyone says this but explore your interest and skills -- i dont mean ‘go find a hobby’ kinda shit cause youre old enough to kinda know what youre into or what kinda draws your attention. i mean learn to identify the kinds of things your good at or compel you to be good at something. maybe you really like interacting with people? maybe you really like planning? maybe you enjoy doing activities that connect you to a community? maybe you enjoy working on solo projects? idk man everyone is more or less drawn towards something or some kind of skill. learn what it is and it’ll probably help you figure out what kind of job you’ll drift towards. if youre in extracurriculars maybe you always find yourself taking up certain roles or even avoiding certain roles, all of that tells you about the attributes of jobs that you may or may not drift towards.
start window shopping -- if you’re like me and was totally completely just ????? about everything, just start looking at job postings and get a feel of things. every industry, every job, every company kind of talks about skills and attributes very differently and learning what kinds of jobs and positions youre attracted to or you think are fit for you is really helpful for when you eventually actually have to apply. also it helps to know what kind of jobs are out there (like my current job? i literally did not fucking know what the hell it was or that it even existed until i interviewed for it. but what i did know was that it played into my skills and i was mildly interested in the industry and tbh i’m pretty happy where i am rn)
tbh idk why the fuck im writing this out. but i really just got real reflective cause a lot of my underclassmen are graduating soon and some of them are feeling the way i felt and messaging me about it. anyways if u actually read this know that you’ll be ok and if you wanna talk or rant you can message me.
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glowstickhaloboy · 6 years
Text
klance roommates au
usual disclaimer: its long as hell
keith is the newly hired, up-and-coming sales rep of his office job. hes fresh out of college, determined, and as awkward as he is in real life, he knows how to make a sale because its all scripted. his boss, doris, a wrinkly old lady who brings in cookies for the office at the end of every month, adores this strapping young man with a real work ethic.
his brother, shiro, is an ethics professor at the local university, Bullshit University (BU). while shiro is glad that keith is doing really well in life for this age, he has this annoying habit of constantly asking keith if hes alright, or if he needs anything, or if theres anything he feels like he wants to do to make himself better. keith always says no.
BU has a bs program called Apprenticeship, wherein a student will be mentored/sponsored by a professor, and the ethics department is head of the program, so shiro also hand picks his own apprentice and its a Big Deal and there are so many kids who apply for it not only because professor shirogane is hot as balls, but because this program gives out credits like candy. this semester’s lucky apprentice is none other than lance mcclain.
lance, if you ask him, will say that this all went completely according to plan and he never once doubted that shiro would pick him. on the inside, he is in an eternal state of wtf wtf wtf wtf how did i do this??!?!?!!!
keith knows that this is something shiro does because shiro likes to update keith on his life, so he’ll call and they’ll chat for a while and usually there will be some mention of an apprentice and whats going on with their studies. as the school year comes to an end, keith obligingly asks shiro who his chosen apprentice is for the upcoming year.
the line goes quiet.
“shiro? did i lose you?”
“no, im still here.”
more silence.
keith says, “what is it.”
“i have a small favor to ask of you.”
lance, if you asked him, would say that his interview with shiro went very well. he would say that he had shiro eating out of the palm of his hand. in reality, there was a lot more crying about money and family matters and anxiety for the future, and when shiro offered lance a tissue lance mistakenly grabbed shiro’s tie and blew his nose into it. two weeks later, he was asked to submit a final letter of intent, which he almost didn’t do because he was too embarrassed, then stayed up all night before the deadline because he couldnt not take a shot at it.
the problem with an apprenticeship position was that it was not like a residency staff position, wherein lance could live on campus without being charged a room & board fee, and he could not be both a part of residency staff and an apprentice. (the residency staff made his decision easy by rejecting his application, but still, it was a bummer.) that being said, lance had absolutely no money to stay on campus next year, and he could not commute because he lived four hours away from the school.
keiths apartment, shiro had not failed to notice, was a convenient 32 and a half minutes from the campus.
“you want me to what?” keith asks shiro, paling, staring into his categorized fridge. he knows where everything is. he decides where everything is. he is not sharing his living space with some kid.
“hes not some kid,” says shiro. “hes 20 years old and he needs this. i really want to make this opportunity work for him, but the school wont let him stay with me. please, keith. i think this would be good for both of you.”
“what is that supposed to mean?”
“can you honestly tell me that you arent lonely all by yourself?”
“no, im not. im comfortable and in control of my own life. i dont want one of your projects from the projects ruining everything ive worked to get, and i think its bull-headed of you to assume that you know whats best for me, like you always try to do, and i think its rude of you to invite someone to live in my apartment.” 
“he likes mus-”
keith hangs up on shiro mid-word, fumes for a few hours as he gets some work done and eats dinner, then goes to sleep.
the next day, keith feels guilty, sure, but he stands by what he said. shiro would call him in a few days and initiate the apology, and they would both put it behind them without mentioning it again. until then, he would throw himself into his work and pretend that everything was fine.
at 6pm, doris knocks on the side of his cubicle, smiling down on him in all her wrinkly glory. shes 60 going on 80 with graying hair and a cozy southern drawl. “darling, why are you still sitting at that desk? its a friday night. youre young, youre cute, you must have a sweetheart you wanna spend it with, or some friends at least.”
keith smiles politely. “thats alright, doris. id rather work, honestly.”
“you sure, honey? i admire a good worker, but if youre working good for the wrong reasons, thats nothing to be proud of. dont you have a nice girl to go home to?”
keith isnt even going to touch the last part of that statement because he doesnt know doris’s political views and doesnt have the time nor patience for a lecture from her in case her warm hospitality is all a condition of keiths being a Model Young Man. he grimaces and says, “no, i dont. and if i did have someone to go home to, it wouldnt be the start of a night going out on the town, it would be someone to have a relaxing night in with.”
“that sounds nice,” says doris, with a minor suggestion behind it that keith should get his coat and get the hell out of here.
“but id really prefer to work,” insists keith. doris clicks her tongue and tells him to suit himself.
meanwhile, lance is panicking. here he has this amazing opportunity, and no way to make it happen. hunk, allura, and pidge all live on campus, apartments nearby are way too expensive, and nobody on the forums is responding to his roommate pleas. he has made it clear that he will take literally anything, and still, no bites.
“im sorry,” shiro says at the start of their meeting. “i tried to set something up, but it fell through. there are a couple of scholarships you can try applying for, but their awards arent given out until december, so youd have to find a way to make ends meet until then.”
“and i cant be a part time student working,” says lance, “because part time students arent eligible for the internship.”
shiro sighs grimly. “thats right.” for a moment, he does nothing but frown at the wall, and lance has nothing to say so he doesnt interrupt. slowly, without explanation, shiro picks up his desk phone and dials. after a moment of patience, he sets it back down and pinches the bridge of his nose. “i want to figure something out for you, lance. do you have any ideas?”
lance shakes his head, shrugging. “i asked a couple of my friends to get an apartment with me, but two of them are residency staff, and the other one takes too many classes a semester to be able to work enough to afford an apartment.
shiro is about to say something, but the phone rings. he snatches it up. “keith? i thought you were ignoring me. oh. no, thats not it. actually, um, i have him sitting in my office with me. i was hoping you had reconsidered.” there was a very long pause. “i understand that,” says shiro. lance’s organs are all mixed up. his heart is beating in his throat and his stomach is somewhere near his feet. “i understand that,” he says again. “im sorry for what i said. you know i didnt mean it that way. i worry about you, thats all, because im a worrier. im not trying to influence your life at all, i really am just asking for a favor. ive exhausted all my other options. keith, youre all ive got.”
he covers the speaker with his mouth and looks at lance. “are you comfortable talking to him?”
lance balks. “who is it?”
“my brother, keith, the person im trying to get to let you stay with him. he wants to talk to you.”
lance holds his hand out for the phone, and shiro passes it over. lance says, “hello?”
“give me one reason why i should let you stay with me,” says a voice that is not exactly what lance is expecting, but still intimidating. “its not a trick question or a test, but it is pass-fail.”
lance’s mouth is so dry, he isnt sure he’ll be able to speak. “i,” he starts, then decides that he cant, then realizes that he has to. “i dont know what im doing. everyones trying to tell me what i should do, or what i have to do, but your brother--um, professor shirogane--is the only person whos asking me what i want to do. that means a lot to me, and so does the fact that he chose me to be his apprentice. so i want to give this my honest to god best shot to repay him, and because i need to know for myself what im capable of. so, um, sir, if you can give me my foot in the door, i promise i would be grateful for that, and if it doesnt work out, then you can kick me out, and i’ll still be grateful that you gave me the chance. um, thanks for giving me the chance to talk.”
there was a long beat of silence. shiro’s mouth was covered with his hand, so lance couldnt tell if he was smiling, but his eyes were definitely shining.
keith said, “shiro always does make people want to be the best version of themselves. dont tell him i said that. put him back on the line.”
lance shakily handed the phone back. shiro put it to his ear. “keith? uh huh.” he chuckled. “i know.” he closed his eyes, the tension seeping out of his shoulders, and lance couldnt help but feel his hopes soar. “thank you, keith. i promise i’ll pay you back for this, and you wont regret it.” he hangs up. “lance, you have a place to live next year.”
come the end of august, keiths career is running itself. he clears out the storage room in preparation for a temporary guest with the help of shiro, whose job it is not only to set up the room, but to pay lance’s half of the rent if lance should default.
two days after the bed and desk are built, lance mcclain moves in. hes weighed down by bags when keith answers the door, looking boyish and disheveled. “whoa,” he says, and stumbles back, almost loses his balance, then manages to catch himself.
keith prickles. “what?”
lance’s eyes swoop up and down keith a clean once.
“youre shiro’s younger brother,” he says, blinking in surprise. “i didnt expect you to be so... you sounded older and mea-- um, on the phone. i thought i was going to be living with a forty year old dude or something, but you’re. um. hi, im lance mcclain.”
he sticks out his hand, strapped down by bags. keith shakes it.
“keith kogane. your room is down the hall and to the left. the bathroom is the first one on the right. my bedroom is the door at the end of the hall, the one thats always shut.”
lance nods. “right,” he says, sounding choked. “i’ll just put this stuff away then...”
he gets inside his room and calls hunk, freaking out about how the guy he has to live with is a lunatic and might also be a serial killer. how else did one explain his bathroom being so freakishly clean? hunk tells lance to calm down and that its just first-day jitters. everything will feel normal once lance gets the routine down.
but lance does not get the routine down. if keith isnt telling lance not to move the milk in the fridge (lance needed somewhere for his blueberries), then he was shouting through the bathroom door to shut up (lance sang in the shower! big deal!). lance was positive that keith hated him, which, between getting his ass kicked at school and feeling like a burden at the apartment, made for a hellish first month on lance’s part. he and keith never talked to each other, because keith was always leaving for work in the mornings before lance woke up, and lance would get back sometimes at 9pm or later, when keith was already showering and getting ready for bed. on weekends, lance booked it out of there to hang out with hunk and pidge, but keith was usually still awake when lance got back, either reading or watching something on TV.
the best way to describe the tension was frigid. keith didnt acknowledge lance so long as lance kept to himself. and the biggest mistake lance made was to break that tension while keith was home.
of course, lance didnt know at the time. he was pretty sure that keith was out, but too scared to check because the door at the end of the hall was daunting, and lance was pretty sure that keith was the only one who could pass through it without damaging his soul permanently.
lance had assignments, okay? he was a music major. that involved some instruments being played from time to time. usually, he was able to work around keith’s schedule, or quiet enough that he could do it when keith was sleeping, but when he wasnt worried about it, he wasnt worried about it. which led to a high pitched scream from a certain college student as keith banged on his bedroom door.
collecting himself, lance went to open it. “sorry, i-”
“what the hell are you doing?”
lance sighed. “look, keith, im grateful that youre letting me live here, but that means letting me live here. i have assignments, and music relaxes me. so if i can put up with your alphabetical cereal boxes, i think its fair that you let me get some work done.”
“im trying to get my work done.”
“youre not even at work!”
keith pinched the bridge of his nose, a very shiro thing to do. “i dont have a problem with the music,” he said at last. “but we better not get any noise complaints from the neighbors.”
lance saluted him and shut the door, breathing a sigh of relief.
after that, tension melted a little more every day. lance’s outburst seemed to have triggered a chain reaction wherein keith and lance actually learned how to live with each other. after respectfully asking lance to remember to take his beauty products out of the bathroom when finished with them, he realized that what lance really needed was his own shelf, so he adjusted. when lance left on saturday mornings and saw keith taking his usual post at the coffee table with his stack of files, lance would ask if keith wanted anything from mcdonalds before coming home. slowly, surely, they became roommates.
until one day lance came home and saw keith watching his favorite show. it was a tidal wave of loud that keith had never had to experience before. youre only on the first season okay scoot over can i put my feet up im going to who do you like best so far what do you think of the villain isnt the actor who plays jack so hot-
they both freeze a little, lances face going red. “um,” he said. “its not like im going to be bringing any guys home, so we dont have to-”
“im gay,” keith says bluntly, because it looks like lance is about to have a heart attack. he feels a little like doris in that moment, although he doesnt know why. “yeah, hes hot.”
lance melts into the couch. “that makes that easy then,” he says. “that makes this the gay-partment. actually, we cant call it that, because im bi for real, and gay-partment doesnt sound good anyway, but you get what im-”
“i get it,” says keith, a mercy killing. he presses play with finality.
shiro checks up on keith frequently enough, but he never asks about lance any more than “is everything okay between you guys?” keith suspects that shiro does not want to push, and is waiting for keith to be the person who actually brings it up.
keith doesnt. even when he waits for lance to get home from classes so they can watch an episode together before keith goes to bed (because the last time keith watched it without him lance threw a fit), or when lance’s awful car craps out on him so they have to share for a week while the mechanic handles it, which involves a lot of carpooling and, as lance calls them “jam sessions” where he blares his horrible music and sings along (but isnt actually so bad because sometimes he improvises lines to the songs and he can be funny when he wants to be). 
keith realizes over the six days that lance is gone for thanksgiving break, not even a full week, that the apartment feels too quiet without him, and at the ripe old age of 23, he might have found his first genuine friend.
after thanksgiving, the barrier melts more. keith is cool with lance having friends over as long as he gets a heads up, and lance invites keith to his occasional open mic night performances at BU.
one day, lance comes home and sees keith hunched over some files on the kitchen table, tie loose on his neck, a half-finished bowl of leftover pasta abandoned near him. lance realizes that he has no idea what keiths job is.
“sales,” keith informs him. “i convince people that they need to buy eco-friendly plastic cups in bulk for their business or school.”
“sounds boring.”
“its not.”
“do you supply cups to my school?”
“theyre not one of my clients, no.”
“if you cant sell cups to your own brother’s school, how good of a salesman can you be?”
keith rolls his eyes and--hey, finally--looks up. “im the best in the department,” he says. “because i take my job seriously, lance. as seriously as you take your apprenticeship to shiro, which is the only reason i agreed to let you stay here.”
“wow,” says lance. “thats harsh. all work and no play makes keith revert back to his old angry self, i see.” he leaves. keith sighs, decides he can no longer focus, and packs up his files. he cleans up his wasted dinner and knocks on lance’s door. lance doesnt answer, so keith persists. when hes ignored again, he grits his teeth and says, “oh, real mature.”
he turns to go back to the living room and sees the bathroom door open. lance steps out, shirtless. “who are you talking to?” he asks, shirtless. he scratches the back of his head, shirtless.
“are you hungry?” asks keith. “i was thinking we could order a pizza and watch an episode or two.”
lance considers keith for a moment, shirtless, then rolls his eyes, still shirtless. “if thats the best you can do for apologies, mullet, then you have a lot to learn. i was going to take a shower.” he reaches around keith, shirtless, and pulls a towel off the inside of his bedroom wall. “call and order, i’ll be fast.” before he shuts the bathroom door again, he says, “i don’t are what else is on it as long as there are green peppers.” and then he’s gone, shirtless.
keith wakes up and wonders why he blacked out for a second.
the pizza arrives, and lance gets out of the shower, clothed, and one or two episodes become six or seven, with keith continuously having to pause because lance is talking and getting carried away because hes getting so excited. its thursday and keith has work tomorrow, he knows, and yet hes denying it. his stomach is full of warm pizza and lance has just stopped talking about the way it rained when they filmed this scene, but keith hasnt reached over to his play yet.
“you would be a good salesman,” he tells lance. “youve got the charisma for it.”
“keith, that is literally the meanest thing youve ever said to me. no offense, but to suggest i would spend my life sitting in a cubicle is unforgivable. to each their own, though. when all the little kids in your third grade class were saying, i want to be a firefighter! and, i want to be a princess! what made you snap up your suspenders and say, i want to sell eco-friendly plastic cups!”
“i dont wear suspenders.”
“thats not the question i was asking.”
keith shrugs. hes laying down more than hes sitting up, which as a rule, is frowned upon when using couches in this apartment. lance has been a bad influence in this regard. “its practical.”
“did you have to take business classes and everything?”
“i took them, yeah.”
lance throws his head back and groans, pokes keith’s thigh teasingly with his big toe. “man, i cant imagine going to school to actually learn a useful life skill. whats job security like?”
staring up at the ceiling, keith is unsettled to find that he knows the answer. “boring.”
lance sits up. “huh?”
“its too easy,” says keith. “every day, its just selling cups. a moron could do it. and my boss doris is a peach, but this morning she stood at karen’s cubicle across from mine for a straight hour talking about plants.”
“plants are so practical,” says lance. “you have a house plant in the corner.” he points at herman.
“his name is herman.”
lance’s eyes blow wide. “dude! no way! you named your plant! i didnt think you were the type!”
“ive never said his name out loud with another person in the room before.”
lance covers his face with both hands and wheezes. “you talk to herman when no one else is in the room.”
lance does not say that he had been calling herman shelby.
“theres a smaller one on my desk at the office named sherman,” says keith.
“not judging, dude, but why would you give so much of yourself to this job if it isnt what you want to do?”
keith shrugs again. “its practical.”
“im a music major and i dont buy that shit. why dont you do what you love? like, how does the time that you spend not doing whatever it is you love not a giant waste?”
“because...” keith feels like a robot. “its practical.”
“if practicality didnt matter, what would you do?”
keith considers lance, considers himself. he finds the answer but decides that its too scary right now. 
“i’d sell cups on the moon.”
lance busts a gut. the seriousness of the topic derailed, keith presses play, and they go back to watching the episode. lance doesnt interrupt for the remainder of the episode, and when keith looks over, he realizes its because lance has fallen asleep. with his legs spread over keith’s lap. when had they gotten there? keith couldnt move now. he had work in the morning.
he was also already in his pajamas. and the sofa was warm enough, and the heating was on in preparation for winter. and keith was already up later than he normally stayed awake...
he woke up with sunlight streaming peacefully on his eyelids. that was usually a luxury saved for the weekends. SUNLIGHT? keith’s eyes popped open, and he remembered all at once talking with lance, falling asleep, lance. last night had been a lance-heavy night. his toes were underneath keith’s shirt, his face smushed into the cushions.
keith clawed his phone out of his pocket as he extracted himself from the couch, from lance. 9:08. shit shit shit shit. 2 missed calls from doris. he ran into his room, where his alarm clock had been screaming for two and a half hours now, and threw on a dress shirt, pants, and shoes, then he rocketed out the door, his phone already pressed to his ear. hi doris sorry sorry sorry i overslept im leaving now i’ll be right here this wont happen again.
his coworkers dont let him live it down. all day its, how ya doing, keith? hows that perfect punctuality youre always harping about? crazy hook up with your take-home pile, was it? doris is the only one who is understanding, and, luckily, her opinion of the situation is all that matters.
“whatever kept you,” she says, “i hope you had fun.”
keith is exhausted by the time he gets home. he unknots his tie on the way to his room, and as he passes lance’s door, he hears the soft tones of music from inside. he pauses. knocks. lance calls, “come in.”
keith pokes his head inside. theres lance, several instruments sprawled across his floor, and him in the center of them, a ukulele in his hands. keith smiles. “sounds good,” he says.
lance gives him a sympathetic eyebrow raise. “you look like shit.”
“thanks.”
“come sit down.”
grateful for the invitation, keith obeys, unraveling his tie all the way. he likes that lance doesnt make him say anything. he goes back to playing music, singing, a soft song that has keiths eyelids fluttering shut and his shoulders relaxing before they can help it.
the next week, lance’s semester ends. he heads home to swap the old year for a new model, see his family, catch up with neighborhood friends. theres the weirdest disconnect he gets where he turns to make a comment to someone, expecting them to be someone else, and gets frustrated.
keith, meanwhile, has resorted to calling shiro at night to somehow break this god awful silence. they get together on christmas, which helps. hes ready to spend new years alone with the LGBT section of Netflix when, at 10:14 PM, his phone rings in a way it doesnt usually. He presses accept, and suddenly Lance is grinning at him in a room full of shouting Cubans.
“Keith! My man! How’s it hanging! No, shut up Marcia, I’m busy. Hey, what’s up!”
Keith is a little bewildered. “Um. Hey.”
“hold on, its super loud in here. let me get to my room so i can actually hear you.”
“why did you call?” asks keith.
lance gives him a look as he enters a much more quiet space. “because my spidey senses told me that you were sitting alone on your couch like a loser right now.”
keith frowns down at his comfortable pajamas. “i am not a loser.”
“of course not,” lance agrees. “thats thanks to me, by the way, and my amazing ability to be in two places at once, thanks to facetime.”
“hows home?” keith asks, aware that suddenly they were chatting, and that the frown he’d been carrying around for days had magically lifted itself off his face. lance is as excitable as ever, even when hes miles and miles away, and keith wonders at the idea of all this distance theyve lived with between them suddenly closed. its an interesting thought.
he doesnt realize how long lance has kept him talking until 11:59, when lance brings his attention to the countdown clock. the inside of keith’s chest feels warm and calm knowing that lance didnt want keith to be alone on new years, and that he cared enough to sit in his room for two hours talking at a screen, and that he was choosing to spend the passover to midnight with keith.
at midnight, keith clinks a glass of champagne against his phone, as does lance, and they drink together. then, lance sombers.
“hey, um. i wanted to thank you for everything you did for me last semester,” says lance. “im still trying to put things together for the spring, but if you want, i could let you know how it goes. i mean, i dont want to stop talking to you, or knowing you.”
keith is utterly lost. “what are you talking about?”
now lance looks confused. “the end of the semester,” he says.
“what about it?”
“my apprenticeship.”
Apprenticeships only lasted a semester!
keith actually slapped his forehead. “lance!” he said, sitting up and clutching his burning phone tighter. He’d had to plug it in an hour ago. “why didn’t you remind me? are you trying to tell me you left? that you literally left to go back home without saying goodbye?”
“you didnt say goodbye!” lance defends, voice getting shrill. “i thought you werent the type!”
“i thought you werent leaving! or, i mean, i thought you were coming back right after!”
“I literally packed out my whole room, keith.”
“people need things when they go home.”
lance shook his head, dumbfounded. “i cant believe we’re having this conversation. what are you going to do without me? yes, keith, im back home and scouring the forums for a new roommate next semester. im trying to have a bonding moment where i thank you for everything youve done for me, but youre ruining it by being an idiot.”
“damn it, lance. you dont have to move out. youre more than welcome to keep living here. lance? did you freeze?”
“what? no. i just. i kind of thought you hated me.”
hate? the literal opposite. keith had to fight not to be sarcastic. “i dont hate you. i want you to stay here. not as a favor, but because this place feels weird without you here now. its as much yours as it is mine. we can put you on the lease if you want.”
“keith, that is the grossest, most adult thing youve ever said to me. of course i will legally sign a binding contract with my name next to yours.”
did lance just... keith’s smaller face went red next to lance’s bigger face. keith sat up a little straighter. “um, cool. cool. when you get back, then. so, you are coming back?”
“yes,” said lance. “and thank god it means i dont have to live with smelly jeremy and his flea-ridden dogs. just your flea-ridden mullet.”
keith narrowed his eyes and hung up.
he got a text from lance saying, see yr flea-tastic self on january 25th, then marked the day down in his phone. afterward, he opened the door to lance’s room, which was indeed empty. keith’s heart went a little spastic at the thought that january 25th could have come and gone, and he would have had no idea that lance had not been planning to return. he called shiro and berated him for not talking about the apprenticeship more often, so keith would have been prepared.
lance comes back and brings the sun with him. keith, who has been this close to quitting his job every time he walks into work, could not be happier. they move lance’s things in together, which involves a lot of stopping and making fun of lance’s possessions on keith’s part. lance grins and goes for the mullet, and somehow they end up wrestling on the floor.
keith thinks, i cant not kiss him.
and then his phone vibrates against his leg. he remembers that lance is living here because he has nowhere else to go, and that putting him in this position if he doesnt feel the same way about keith is a horrible thing to do. he untangles himself, guilty.
“where are you going?” demands lance. “i was winning!”
“its doris,” says keith. “gotta take it.”
speaking of doris, she notices. at 6pm the next day, she stops by keiths cubicle. “been a while since we last met here, sugarcake. trouble at home?”
theres no one else in the office, and keith is close to a meltdown. he swivels to face doris, hangs his head, and says, “i think im in love with my roommate lance.”
her face doesnt betray an ounce of shock, but rather, shes giving him the same look shiro used to when keith would talk about nightmares. keiths heart shatters from being touched by kindness. he doesnt leave the office for another hour, not because he was working, but because that night doris lets him tell her everything.
lance is still in class when keith gets home, eats, showers, and gets ready for bed. he almost doesnt know what to do with himself now that theres a whole other conscious entity living in this house--his fucking emotions. he has his hair pulled back, his pajamas on, and hes just getting ready to call it a night when the front door opens and lance tosses his bag in its usual spot under the window.
“hey,” he says, surprised to see keith up. “dont want to miss the early bird special tomorrow. what’re you doing up?”
“can we play?” asks keith.
lance is clearly doubly surprised, but he guides keith into his room. its as blissfully messy as it was before lance left for break. “you said we. do you play?”
keith picks up a lap-sized keyboard. “i used to.”
“i didnt know that. why didnt you say?”
“because you wouldve asked me to play with you.”
“thats true.” lance picks his ukulele, and they start to improvise together, each learning how the other plays, adjusting. “you werent kidding, you really play.”
“i wasnt kidding,” says keith.
suddenly, lance stops. “hey, is everything alright? youre acting weird. dont tell me youre regretting asking me to move back in.”
“no,” keith says immediately. “no, im just wondering if maybe... are you happy here? or is this just a roommate situation?”
“what do you mean, is this just a roommate situation?”
“you know what i mean.”
“no,” says lance. “i dont.”
“i mean,” says keith, “do you actually like living here, or do you live here because im your only option?”
lance sets down his ukulele. “i like living here because the bathroom tiles are cold when i get out of the shower so i hop to the rug by the door and pray to god i dont slip and break my neck. and because the sunset turns the kitchen wall purple while i make pasta. and because im the only one who can put my feet up on the coffee table. and because the cereal is arranged in alphabetical order and the plant’s name is herman. i like living here. here feels like home.”
keith kisses him. he stands up and backs away just as quickly, guilty, unable to believe he had just crossed the line like that. god, he’s going to have to tell doris about this. she would rip his head off so politely.
“what the fuck?” says lance, blunt and surprised. keith winces, about to apologize, when suddenly he’s being crowded up against the wall of his storage room, of lance’s bedroom, and kissed like his lips leaked chocolate. he melts. lance snakes one hand behind keith’s neck and the other around his waist, and keith tugs lance closer by the hips. the hand at keith’s neck digs into his hair and pulls out the hair tie. the hair tie disappears. keith pulls lance closer. 
lance pulls back. “finally.”
“you had the option to make the first move, you know.”
“nah, not me, i’m a coward.”
“yeah, right.”
they kissed again, with keith holding tighter and lance staying longer. keith thinks, doris isnt going to believe this one.
that night, the taboo on keith’s bedroom door breaks when keith invites lance to sleep on a queen sized mattress. it takes lance a full five minutes to stop laughing at the clear cowboy paraphernalia keith inherited growing up in texas, but he doesnt mind curling up to sleep by the potted cactus on the nightstand, whose name he politely asks for.
keith stops killing himself working to sell eco-friendly plastic cups, and with all his spare time, he and lance start writing songs together. shiro, in a display of good sportsmanship, never points out that he was right.
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itzbatz · 7 years
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oh any advice for someone trying to do a stem major? i finally decided to major in computer science, but i need to have cal 1 and 2 done before i can declare it so im gonna do those at cc, but im nervous? i took a yr off after finishing my gen ed to find out what i wanted to major in/do. i dont rly have any passions but i found out about cs/programming & was like, hey i like computers and solving problems (kinda) why not. but man so many classes ;-; im already behind traditionally (im 23) rip
hi! well first of all let me tell you that in my experience there’s no “behind”, but especially if you’re only 23 you really have nothing to worry about, i know people of all ages in programming-type fields, even beginners.
second of all, go for it! it’s a really versatile field where you could do so many different things in your career, like yeah you could do programming for a business or tech company but you could also do it for a museum or a non-profit or movie studio– literally everything today needs computer stuff done!
i would recommend that you spend some of your own time exploring what part of the development process you might be interested in just by doing it. for example i found that i enjoy front-end web design and development (i call it devsign…) over the years from doing things like making tumblr themes lol. try to figure out what you like, but i just want to put it out there that at least for me, we’ve done almost no web development at school, but that’s what all my jobs have been in. so i suggest you explore whether you’re interested in the web side of things
as for school/classes/etc to be honest it is hard, but you just have to get through it, it won’t have much bearing on your career. that’s from my experience in software engineering (which is similar to computer science but less theory) but either way in our field your work speaks much louder than your marks. do personal projects, they don’t have to be anything crazy amazing, but if you just show that you have the drive to create something outside of school, if you accumulate a little collection of these projects, that’s how you get jobs, and at jobs you’ll learn much more than at school. especially for students, but really anyone going into an entry-level position, companies are hiring you to teach you. you just have to get your foot in the door and again i really want to stress that doing your own projects outside of school is how.
(also make sure you know your algorithms and data structures. studying those was a super annoying struggle for me but it’s important to know for competitive interviews).
make things you like! i’m honestly not kidding like if you like pokemon make a pokemon mini-game. if you like soccer make a webpage that shows rankings. motivate yourself to get these things done so that you have them on your resume, and hopefully you’ll figure out what you like by doing it as well.
good luck, i hope this helps!!
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niamhhannaho-blog · 7 years
Text
Interviews
WILL F Tell me about yourself?
Having grown up in an ex-pat family, I had the opportunity to live in Asia and Europe. I have always been creative whether its art, music, film or fashion. After failing handsomely at school and barely making it into University I realised education wasn’t for me, after dropping out of University and having the opportunity to work in advertisement and film for some time I decided to co-found a creative agency. Since then I have had the opportunity to work with some the UK’s most influential people and brands, aiming to share my thoughts and knowledge with other millennial and the older demographic.
In your opinion what are the stereotypes of millennials?
I think my understanding of the millennial stereotype is that millennials have created a new culture and behaviour that has not been recognised before. I think we are categorised as a dysfunctional, unmotivated and unwilling generation that is incredibly selfish.
I do believe that is a statement that targets millennials collectively however I feel its only a certain categorisation off that generation who live up to the stereotype. I do feel with the move in the digital world millennial's are creating new and imaginative ways to work, In a lot of peoples eyes I think due to it being unconventional, its seen as wrong.  
What does it mean to be a millennial?
I think there are many answers to this question, although “millennial” is a term for the generation born in between the 80’s and early 2000’s. Its seen today as more of a categorisation of the “future”. Being the most connected generation, I feel we are the most progressive out of any other previous generation. Having more opportunities, more freedom and defiantly more of a creative mindset I think that Millennial’s have recently started to disrupt and question convention which in my mind is progress for the future to come. We’ve always been told to be unique however convention tells us not to, I feel we are the first generation that has done exactly that.
What inspires you?
People. A lot of people will generically say art, fashion, music or culture. Which is all great, but I believe that the source of those mediums are the most inspirational subjects. To me a persons story is the most valuable knowledge or inspiration you can obtain, because unless they write a book about their life you will never have the chance again to hear it.
If you could impact something significantly within society what would it be?
I believe the biggest fault in society today is people not listening to one another, especially between young and old generations. I would love to see more members of the younger generation being able to make decisions that can impact our societies.
If you had one piece of advice to give to other millennial what would it be?
A really important word to me is self-awareness, I think so many people lie to themselves about who they are. Until that person understands who they are as a person and acknowledges their identity and values, they won’t be happy with anything they do.
Do you think you fit the stereotype of millennial’s?
Absolutely!
Why?
I believe being unconventional and creative is exactly what it is to be a millennial, I like to think I do exactly that every day. LIZZIE
Give a bit of an intro about yourself (not part of the question but literally talk about anything uni school travelling your freelance illustration)
I’m Lizzie, I’m 23 and I’m currently living and working in Wellington, New Zealand. I had an idyllic upbringing and was always academically bright, but way more interested in art. My family were always super supportive but I felt a lot of pressure growing up to achieve and be perfect. I went to Uni to study graphic design, but got very disillusioned and ended up dropping out in my 3rd year. I moved to New Zealand and converted a van which I travelled and lived in for 6 months, it was pure freedom. I’ve recently got back into illustration and won a poster competition for the street art collective Vivid Wellington, I’ve met a bunch of local artists and it’s been so inspiring. I’ll be moving back to England in July to study as a tattoo apprentice.
What does it mean to you to be a millennial?
I think we’re in this weird transitional generation, we’re the first kids to grow up with technology dominating our lives, we’re at the forefront of unexplored territory and we’re just trying to figure it out. The truth is that the world is entirely run by the post-war generations, they’ve had an incredible impact on the world physically and economically, it was all about this ethic of working hard your whole life, contributing to society, everything has to be bigger, better, newer. As a generation I think we’re questioning this, we’re less motivated by money, more creative and forward thinking, and in a growth driven society this can be easily misinterpreted as being ‘lazy’. I think in general we’re tolerant, emotionally intelligent and amazingly bright. We’re opening up about sexuality, race, gender, mental health…we have all these great ideas we’re just struggling to find a platform for our ideas to be heard.
What inspires you?
Mostly people, I find people fascinating. I try not to rely on inspiration when I’m drawing, you can end up staring at a blank page for a long time if you do. Inspiration comes from practice, trying everything - new ideas come from that. It took me a long time to realise! I’m definitely inspired by self-makers, that DIY aesthetic and attitude. Counter-culture, punk, hip-hop, ravers, street art, drag queens, comics, nature…oh and smut - Lots of smut.
If you could impact something significantly within society what would it be?
That’s a tough one. I’d like to get people to question what’s going on around them, not just accept the way things are. That’s the first step to changing things. We’ve thought the same way for so long, we need a new perspective. I’d love to see women’s ideas come into consideration, I think we could really use a feminine approach.
If you had one piece of advice to give to other millennials what would it be?
Be yourself! It’s cheesy but I think it’s so important to do your own thing when everybody around you is trying to make you into something else. Lead by example. And love yourself, that’s very important.
Do you think you fit the stereotype of millennials and why yes or no
I’m going to be annoying and say yes and no, I’ve definitely been guilty of feeling entitled, I’ve only recently started to understand the value of hard work, and working hard for yourself too. I try and keep away from the trappings of social media…most people I know don’t seem to fit the stereotype. It’s going to be harder for us to coast through life with wages and housing prices being what they are. I could definitely work harder though.
SOPHIE RISCH
Give a bit of an intro about yourself?
My name is Sophie Rischmiller, I am 18 years old. I am a full time student at Bournemouth University, an Affiliate Marketer taking my foundation certificate in marketing at The Chartered Institute of Marketing and the owner of a startup marketing agency called Social Zest.
In your opinion what are the stereotypes of millennials?
Millennials are constantly stereotyped as not really experiencing life because they are always looking at social media or things online. We have been bought up in the digital era so everyone assumes we don’t really know how to communicate, which isn’t the case. Because we spend time online older people thing we are lazy, under motivated and introverted.
What inspires you?
I am inspired by young entreprenuers documenting their life online and giving valuable advice to younger people or people they same age as them - other millennials! They inspire me to be motivated and better myself in everything that I do.
What does it mean to you to be a millennial?
Being a millennial means being at the forefront of the digital era, we have the power to create communities and influence people like never before. If we use the tools we have been given, growing up in a smarter society, I think we can really make a positive difference.
If you could impact something significantly within society what would it be? In other words what is an issue that is close to your heart?
One thing I would choose to impact would be mental health in young people, there are so many amazing charities working hard to correct mistakes that previous generations made - for example making it difficult for people to talk about their sexuality or for men to talk about their feelings openly. I think that this new generation is far more advanced and accepting of everyone so we have the ability to encourage those with mental health issues to feel they have a voice and that they are not alone.
If you had one piece of advice for other millennials what would it be?
My advice for millennials would be to say yes to every opportunity you are given, we have all the resources to succeed given to us by this new digital age so it would be wrong of us not to utilise them.
MARIE
Tell me about yourself?
Okay, so my names Marie, Marie La - Anyane. I’m not French, even though my name sounds French. Im 100% Ghanaian. I am an abstract artist and I run a fashion blog. And thats pretty much it, I just paint during my free time, do some artwork. I edit a lot of photos and I have a little taste for photography. I don't take all of the photos for my blog myself, but I do edit them. I just quit my job of three or four years. Im hoping to get an internship within fashion. I don't want to settle for something which isn't related to what I want for my future which is get a career within the fashion industry.  So if its not something thats not dear to my heart I'm not going to settle and just do that to kill time.
What does it mean to you to be a millennial?
I mean we are the generation that made money out of youtube, theres people making thousands on instagram every single day and back in the day our parents probably thought we were crazy for just being on platforms like Facebook. And now people are getting paid just to post a photo and just to advertise. So I mean we should be proud of that, and we are making so many changes in the world. We have had some of the biggest protests and marches in history and thats just us!
What inspires you?
My culture and my play on colours. I think my background inspires me, being Ghanaian using colours in our everyday life and all celebrations use a lot of colour so thats really where I get my inspiration. I have never been able to draw certain things and so because of that I often take an abstract stance, because thats what works for me.
If you could impact something significantly within society what would it be? In other words what is an issue that is close to your heart?
I don’t think I can personally impact society as a whole, but I can work with people to make changes. Going to protests and letting the government hear what we have to say, because I cant do that on my own.
If you had one piece of advice for other millennials what would it be?
I think we shouldn't let the negative comments and negative views by previous generations affect us, because we have achieved a lot, we are going to achieve a lot. I know its the social media age but we have achieved so much just through that. Its crazy you don't even have to go and watch the news anymore you just have to go on twitter! I mean Donald Trump is tweeting and he's probably part of the generation that thinks that we are not doing anything with our lives and all we know is social media. So I think we should just look at it as a positive thing, we have done so much for ourselves and we should be proud!
DANIEL BOOTH
Tell me about yourself?
Okay so my names Daniel Booth, I run MPR Communications which is a PR and social media company. We handle, publicity and brand relations for celebrities, influences, professional athletes, high profile individuals. We also do PR for brands and we do social media for brands as well. I started it four years ago, and yeah its going well. We work with musicians, athletes, models, presenters, footballers, rugby players, golfers. So I have been working in the industry for probably about seven or eight years now. So I started out in fashion PR and beauty, peddling Chanel lipstick, Champneys and stuff like that. And then I did whats called agency hopping, so each six months to a year id move to a different agency, and slowly worked from beauty to fashion. Ive worked numerous London fashion weeks, which is stressful to say the least. And then from there I hopped into entertainment and sports. As I say yeah about four years ago I was made redundant from my last agency. I came into work one morning, by 9:15 I was in the boss’ office and he basically just said sorry we have no money this will be your last day. They couldn't even afford to pay me for the rest of that day. So the second I stepped out of the front door I was wondering round London on my phone sending emails, texts and phone calls to see if anyone had a job for me. And it was happening to everybody, because it was around the time the financial crash hit and businesses sort of panicked. So I moped around for about a week, I was super stressed out because I had never been out of work. I never went to university and I sort of lounged around the house for a week wondering what to do. And my problem was that I wasn't good at anything else, the reason I got into PR was because I'm good with people. I can talk to anybody. So my girlfriend said to me you just need to get up and go back out there, so I did. And for the last sort of two years of my agency career I saw how they didn’t really care about the clients. It was just the case of how much money you pay us defines how much time and attention we will give you. I didn’t like that because I mean we had clients for instance that were paying close to £10,000 per month and then you had a little designer that was absolutely phenomenal but all she could afford was £1,500 per month and she would get nothing. And like that is still money, that that person is paying out of their own pocket but just because its not big enough for the agency, they don't get anything. So I decided to make that my mantra, that we were going to work with everybody and anybody, if they were talented of course. And it didn’t matter what their budget was, we would make it work. So far its going alright.
In your opinion what are the stereotypes of millennials?
Well ever since you reached out to me I've had all these articles, about millennials and to be honest its all the same. They are self entitled, they don't want to work, they are narcissistic,all they care about is what their instagram looks like and all that sort of thing. But to a certain extent theres a minority that are exactly like that. But i think for the grand scale of millennials, its completely wrong. I mean I meet people everyday who are your age, my age and they are driven people. I mean the thing is millennials face so many issues that no other generation has had to face, I mean today you can at 21 years old you can be a millionaire. You can create an app and it can get picked up overnight and all of sudden your a millionaire and theres so many different opportunities and avenues that people can go down and its confusing for a lot of people. I mean my younger brother is 21 and he's in uni studying fine art and if you ask him what he wants to do he has got no idea. He just wants to do something in art because thats what he likes, and its not because he's lazy, its not because he cant be bothered, its because there are so many options and its one of those things i mean when i was at school like forever ago now, when it came to career day they said be electricians, be plumbers, be carpenters, be a fireman, a police officer because all those are in need at the minute. And the thing is, everybody went after those jobs and now they are over planned. Millennials have come to a realisation that you know what you don't have to break your back to earn a decent living. I mean me, if you ask any of my family what I do, they have no idea, they literally don't have a clue. Millennials i think are misunderstood massively, they get the raw end of the deal i think. I mean theres a lot of stuff they have to put up with and get through, I mean most people wont ever own their own house and all that sort of thing. I read an interesting article the other day where the title was the 20k somethings and it basically said that millennials are the generation that are happy to earn 25 - 27k for the rest of their life as long as they have experiences. So they get to go travelling, they get to swim with dolphins they get to go look for humpback whales and all that sort of thing. They would rather have these big experiences in life than have massive amounts of money. Now my question is why is that such a bad thing? Theres people that get by on less than 25 grand a year, i mean a lot of them do struggle but you can make it work! I mean I know somebody, who him and his other half, between them earn 45,000 a year, they are happy. They’ve got a house, they have a car, they go on eight holidays a year but the thing is they both work remotely and they both work remotely so they can have that life because they are able to do that. I don't see what the big deal is. I mean my mum when I was younger she was like don't get tied down too young, go travelling, go see the world. I mean my mum had me when she was 22 years old, she was married when she was like 21 so her whole thing for me and my brother and my sister was go see the world don't get stuck into your career or anything. I mean I slightly ignored her. Its the way it is.
What inspires you?
Potentially failing, I don't like to loose, ever. I am one of the most competitive people ever. I don't let it show too often but if i loose inside me its like argh, i hate it. So yeah I think failing, theres a constant drive there to prove that you can do it.
If you could impact something significantly within society what would it be? In other words what is an issue that is close to your heart?
For me, i mean I started working with women football players when i first started working for myself. Because it was an up and coming game. And I was lucky enough to get one client at chelsea football club and the ladies train at the same place as the mens football team and on my second visit, when I went down to the training ground. but i think one thing I'm passionate about is helping women sport. The thing is in all sports the women train as hard if not harder than the men because they have to. They are constantly fighting against society saying. Footballs a mans game, women shouldn't be playing rugby, women that play sports look like lesbians, i mean what does a lesbian look like? So I think it would definitely be womens sport, I think there needs to be more understanding about it, there needs to be more promotion for it. There needs to be more commercial drive behind it. I mean the thing is a bit of insight the top top england womens football players in salary a year, not a week, a year get paid £30,000 per year. Now I've got players that i work with that are 17 years old that get that a week, so i mean now its becoming that they can earn more from commercial deals and that sort of thing but even then, brands aren't willing to pay that kind of money. One of the girls I work with was on the same campaign as joe hart the goalkeeper, she got paid i think it was like 6% of what he got paid, it was minuscule. And it needs to be a lot fairer, it needs to be on the same level for men and women. Women sport is massive and its growing every year. I mean i like to think that I'm helping but I'm still not having the impact that i want to have, thats definitely where I would go.
If you had one piece of advice for other millennials what would it be?
Do the grunt work. The thing is, this is no joke, i get about 30 emails a day requesting jobs, internships from people my age and younger. And occasionally when I'm feeling generous, ill go and meet them see what they are about, see how they fit. I mean I've only ever met one person who has been happy to do the back breaking work, to go grab coffee and this sort of thing. And unfortunately she's moved back to the states and she worked with me for 6 months. She was studying law and came over here as part of her degree and she just wanted an insight into the sports world, she's passionate about sport she loves football. So i met with her and straight away you could tell, you know what this girl has got something special about her, she is willing to go the extra mile and honest to god when she left it felt like I had lost my left arm because she was there and she preempted anything that I ever could have needed. Im still in contact with her now, I consider her a friend. But I meet people every day that literally just want to walk into a job, they have come straight out of uni and they have gone right okay I want 30,000 a year I want my own office and I want 5 projects a year to work on.Its like, the world doesn't work like that, and this is where i feel millennials as a whole get a bad name because of some of the people that are like that. I mean for me I interned in fashion and beauty PR for almost a year. I wasn't paid, I was working 16 hour days, I was working for fashion week, when id finished work I was asking if I could go to the events with the PR managers and they would party till like 3 - 4 o clock in the morning. And id stay out with them, id meet people. But as i say as up till now after 4 years I've only ever met one person that was willing to do that. I mean one kid i actually met he came to me and was like, I want 45,000 a year, and i want to work from anywhere in the world. And I just looked at him and was like mate, really? Like thats the first thing your gonna say to me? And he was from a very privalliged background and he had it installed in him that that is the way it is. You walk in and demand what you want and somebody will give it to you. And its like i said to him, you have no position you've just come straight out of uni. I think he had studied something like talent management. Some obscure degree that in the grand scheme of things doesn't mean a lot. And I said to him right, name me five people right now that you could call and you could get one of my clients into this event, that event or on that tv show. And he said well I don't have any. So I said well then come back to me when you do. Because thats what it is in my job and in a lot of jobs its about the connections that you have with people. The relationships that you have. Its being able to call on those people at a moments notice you know you can pick up that phone and say I need help and them say okay what can i do. And thats what its about and you get that from doing the interning, the working for free, the making coffee and all that sort of thing. It sounds degrading, but you learn a lot from it. Its the one time in your life when you can actually just sit there and soak up everything. I learnt more in my first two weeks interning, than I did in my entire school life. The thing is I wasn't academic, i never have been, i didnt like the thought of having to study. Now I read more books than i ever did when i was in school. Im always reading I'm always learning I'm always trying to better my knowledge of PR, social media, the digital landscape, marketing, everything. But its because I'm studying something i love and its completely different. When you start reaserching things about something you really love it becomes addictive. If you work in something like design, or digital or something like that because it grows so rapidly that you cant keep up. I think thats the advice that i would give to anybody. Just do that work, be a sponge. If you can get 5 minutes with i don't know if you wanted to be a football agent for instance, if you can get even five minutes with a professional football agent that has been in the industry. Just sit and listen to them for five minutes. Just ask them one question and then just sit and listen because you will learn so so much. So that a the advice.
Do you think you fit the stereotype of a millennial?
Well my jacket and hightop converse would say yes. I would probably say yeah. I mean if you had said to me when i was 15/16 years old, you will be working for yourself, you'll be working with the England rugby team all these cool people. I mean i would have laughed in your face. You say am I a millennial stereotype i mean yeah because in the grand scheme of things millennials have this mind set that they can do absolutely anything and yeah thats me.
GENEVIEVE SWEENY
Tell me about yourself?
I have been knitting since i was 5 and I used to live in Europe with my parents, I sort of followed them around with work so I used to sit in the back of the car knitting all the time because my nan taught me to hand knit. So i did that, I hand knitted all the time sort of secretly for like 11 years, until i met a girl at Nottingham trent who was doing a degree in knitwear and i was like omg this is amazing. So that then  kind of really started my path. Because I was doing this thing that i loved doing but i didn’t really know how to apply it. Then I did a four year degree at Nottingham trent which was amazing we learnt about the machinery and actually how to make something which was really cool. And i did a year in industry in my third year, so i went to work with a really creative consultancy that did kind of swatches, which back then in the 90’s were really big. So companies like m&s would buy like 20 of them and it would cost like £600 for a swatch which was like crazy money. Then after the recession hit that kind of industry died a bit. So yeah I worked for them which was amazing like really creative and explorative and we did loads of exhibitions like in Shang Hai and florence and things which was amazing. And they also gave me sponsorship for my final collection, so i had like cashmere to knit with for my final collection, which was crazy! and i didnt even think about it too much then i was just like yeah ill have all the colours, now I'm like wow that was like the most luxurious collection in the world. After that I went to work for m&s and new look which was like just three months in each but it was amazing to see a real high street but fashion thats run from figures. To me being at uni and being in this creative world i was like what the hell, it was a real eye opener but a kind of good understanding of the connectivity. So yeah finished my degree, got a first which was cool. I specialised in menswear, so then i was selected to go to a trade show in Shang Hai to show my collection and also to do some work for wgsn to do some swatches and things. And there i met kind of randomly all the people id end up working for in the future which was really weird. I met a gentlemen who was an agent for rag and bone and he said they were looking for a menswear designer, so literally as soon as i got back i called them up and was like do you fancy interviewing me. Then a month later I was on a flight. So the march after graduating i went out and was the menswear assistant. The role kind of ended up changing and i was doing menswear and womenswear but it was amazing working for a really creative, contemporary brand. And it was before they had this recent investment, so there was kind of no budget, an endless amount of money and no restrictions. So yeah it was crazy you could find like three hundred pieces for spring, just for knitwear and I think only like eight went on the catwalk so it was a crazy amount of work. And then i got head hunted by Hugo Boss and i was offered a job in switzerland which was a lot more technical, kind of more the development, production side. But i always wanted to do my own thing, but i kind of never really, knew what wholesale price was, how would i actually manufacture something and do kind of quality control. So I took the job because i felt it was the next step to me building up my knowledge and working on something that i didnt really know anything about. So I lived in Italy and commuted to switzerland every day, and it was just an incredible job, I literally did everything from sketch to production. So I would work with a freelance designer who was based in london and she would give me all her concepts and i would go and work in this like knit lab, where they had all this machinery that they taught me to programme. So id kind of come up with ideas for her and then i would look after the product all the way through photo sampling production. I spent a lot of time in Turkey, in factories testing out lots on things. So i did a lot of travelling it was amazing, it was such a broad view of the industry. Since then different roles I've had are very split you would have like 8 people doing that one job. So that was the kind of main thing. But i looked after the Boss green, which was sports knitwear, so it was quite small only about 40 pieces per collection. So for my second job it was quite manageable. Then i got engaged and felt like I had to move back to England so i did a quick stint at burberry kids wear. That was mainly computer work so i didn’t really last long there. And then I went to Lyle and Scott to work on there scottish programme they wanted to bring the knitwear back to scotland, my role was to look after the knitwear team and build back the relationship with scotland. So as i moved back to England I decided i wanted to get my studio back and kind of wherever i went I had like a car full of yarn and i wanted the big machines. So i went on eBay and bought these really old machines that were up in scotland and drove up there and met this amazing old man who was in his 80s. I got chatting to him and found out that his nephew was a hand tartan knitter but lost his job in the 80s and actually all his family members used to work in the mills. So we went to th pub and i met a few other people and i met some people with more machines. That sort of really started the beginning of my brand, I just felt so awful that there were all these amazingly skilled people that were now like bus drivers. They were cutting lengths of this imported woollen fabric and then calling it scottish fabric. It just felt really awful. So i decided to do a couple of projects with them because there style was like really 80s so I said if you want to work with new brands you need a bit of an update. So yeah we were working on a design and we ended up having like 5 pieces by the end of it and i was like gosh this is the start of my collection, but that was all happening whilst i was working for lyle and scott which ended up using no scottish knitwear because they couldn't afford it and ended up doing a lot more stuff in Italy. And then Ian got made redundant and I got really jealous so i quit my job as well and took the plunge. So it kind of felt like everything had come into piece but it did take about 18 months to find the right supplier and just get an understanding of where i wanted my work to be in the market and if there was a market for it. But actually a lot of the manufacturers in the midlands wouldn't work with me because they wanted like 400 pieces. But like even at lyle and scott we wouldn't order 400 pieces for some like fashion pieces. So even in scotland I could find people to knit it but not to put it together. So i had to go through this like interview process with one of the manufacturers but i think he had been so screwed over by young designers in the past that he was just like over cautious. So i literally drove up there and met him and he was like okay we can work together and then i drove back again. Yeah so it took a while but it kind of worked out. So i launched in september 2015 and worked with a really amazing range of manufacturers, so id design everything here in house and then often hire a machine to test out ideas for patterns and things and then gove the production to them. They are such an amazing manufacturer they are all kind of like family run. I feel like they are more invested in what your doing and kind of look after you more, where as the factories and especially when i worked in factories abroad its just all about numbers and margins and your killing yourself over 10p. Where as I've got more of an understanding of how much they do and how much stuff costs so I'm quite like, I see the value in what they do and vice versa.
In your opinion what are the stereotypes of millennials?
I feel like it changes every five or ten years. Like a lot of the younger millennials don't drive at the moment which i find crazy. But i don't know if its because now things are a lot more accessible, like when i was 17 i learnt to drive because it was the only way i would be able to get out and do something. So i don't know maybe with the internet changing its more accessible now.
What inspires you?
Inspiration comes a lot from archetecture, so could be the structure or patterns in plaster. It seems to be a lot from archetecture or sometimes ariel views or kind of natural patterns. Its definitely always something that breaks and repeats, thats sort of always the theme.
If you could impact something significantly within society what would it be? In other words what is an issue that is close to your heart?
For me its the whole made in britian, sustainability and slow fashion. So i support made in Britain because it brings jobs to the area. We have got this amazing skill set thats really dying out. So the hand knitter i work with he's the youngest that we both know and he's 52 years old. So for me its really important to keep these skills going. And theres a lot of factories that have started employing people from China and stuff which is fine but also their way of linking and construction is different to the scottish way. So slight things, and like how you wash a jumper. Its really done by learning and its not just a program you put in its kind of like a sixth sense so those parts of the made in britain i really want to keep going and support. And then also on the other side the slow fashion is a really important issue. So not having fast fashion like in the last couple of months but having something that will last 10-15 years and will reduce the environmental impacts.
If you had one piece of advice for other millennials what would it be?
I think networking is really important, reaching out to other people weather its more mentors and people that you aspire to. Or even just like peers, people in the same situation or going through the same things, i find it so helpful to talk to other designers.
What does it mean to you to be a millennial?
I guess the opportunity that you've got from technology, I feel very lucky to have that. To be able to have a business that reaches america and hong kong, thats amazing. I cant imagine how i would really be able to do something without it just being local.
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