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shadowbriar · 2 years

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Bridges - Fred Weasley

Pairing : (F/M) || Fred Weasley x Reader Word Count : 3.5k Warning : Drinking. Notes : This story was posted first on my Ao3 account. In which Fred tries to spare himself the heartbreak from falling for someone he's supposed to love as a sister.

Fred Weasley has lost count of the tired exasperation he’d blow in the last twenty minutes. His mother has done it again, losing the plot just mere seconds before the train leaves for Hogwarts. In her defence, it isn’t easy living and preparing for 4 troublesome boys for school.

It was Ron’s blunder this time on forgetting his jumper that made their mother get haywired. As much as Fred wanted to get angry at his youngest brother, their mother’s nagging is much more than enough to scare him for a few weeks ahead. But that doesn't mean he wouldn’t give little Ronniekins some hard time later.

“Fred, off you go.” His mother said with a tired sigh, ushering his son to walk through the Platform 9¾.

He shot a silent ‘finally’ glare at his twin, earning a short snicker from him.

Fred readies himself, tightening the grip on the cart handle. He’s done the walking for a couple of times now, mastering the trick. And so he closes his eyes and starts to pick up a pace, running through the brick walls. But his eyes were abruptly opened as he leaped forward, his cart crashing into someone.

His belongings were scattered, along with hers. There’s always something bad waiting on the other side of the brick walls, he thought. They groan in pain, the hard contact was enough to give them light bruises tomorrow morning.

“You bloody idiot!” Fred spat, his annoyance was through the roof “What kind of daft are you to be standing right in front of the portal?”

The girl stared at Fred in fear. Tears were forming on her eyes, scared and hurting. Fred could tell from her emblemless sweater that she must be a first year student, the same age as Ron. Perhaps she was just confused and didn’t know where to go.

Fred sighs, forcing his anger to evaporate as he holds out a hand, “Are you alright?”

The girl nods lightly. She was trying hard to suppress her sniffling as she collected her trunk and placed them back in her cart. Her head was hung low, making Fred feel even more guilty.

“I’m Fred, Fred Weasley.” he introduces himself, not even apologising from his raised tone “I’m in third year.”

She nods, slightly smiling as she tells him her name.

Fred didn’t know then that their not so pleasant encounter would be the start of a complicated matter of heart. He couldn’t possibly know, he was a child. But one thing he was certain of is that this wouldn’t be the last of them. Her soft gaze and sweet smile would always be his personal gravity, he was sure of it.

----

Fred couldn’t wrap his head on the silly game the girls are playing.

The three girls were giggling in the living room, their laughter echoing through the ceilings of the Burrow. He finds it soppy that they were talking about their versions of prince charming. How they would like their weddings to be and how many children they would have. Although he is coming to the age where dating is not as appalling as it once were, listening to the girls’ unrealistic ideas of a man is still sickening for him.

Don’t get him wrong, he has his own preferences too when it comes to romance, but the thought of finding the perfect girl at the age of fifteen and spending the rest of his life with her seems to be too feeble. He wants to make mistakes first so that when he’s finally ready to settle, he won't blow everything up just like what he’s always done in life.

The thought sometimes bothers his sleep too. He wasn’t sure who he’s supposed to look for. Should he look for someone who has the same taste in jokes as he does? That way they could spend joy and laughter everyday. Or should he look for someone who is more entrenched, someone who could give him a better grip in life.

Fred averts his gaze to the quiet girl seated across from him. It has been years since they first met at Platform 9¾ and there surely have been some noticeable differences in her. She was less shy, albeit still the quietest among the other 2 girls.

“What unrealistic trait does your prince have?” George asks her, looking amused.

She says with a shrug, “I don’t really have a long list of criteria.”

“She only wants her boyfriend to be a redhead.” Hermione chimes in, looking rather bored at her friend’s taste “A little uncreative of her, don’t you think?”

“Red hair? Like us?” Fred asks, sounding intrigued “You’re saying you fancy one of us?”

“You Weasleys are not the only redheads in this world.” she defends nonchalantly, rolling her eyes.

George nods and smiles mischievously, “Yes, but we are the better looking redhead, wouldn’t you agree?”

Fred has to bite the growing grin as he watches her blush. Her modest demeanour has always been pleasing to his eyes. A stark contrast to his obnoxious and loud personality, she is calm and collected whilst still having a mischief side. A trait Fred was proud to have introduced to her.

“I’ve always liked seeing you with Charlie.” Hermione says to her, smiling at the thought “Maybe you could date him.”

“He’s old, is what he is.” Fred argues fast, sounding more annoyed than he had intended to.

The sudden change of tone was noticed by Hermione as she raises an eyebrow, yet as fast as it appears, she brushes it off in a blink. She bites her lip, trying not to smile at the not so subtle hint Fred accidentally dropped. He could only pray that Granger wouldn’t encourage this tonight on their girly night talks.

“Well older boys are always more charming, right Ginny?” Hermione says, turning to the youngest.

“We’re older.” George says with a grin, turning to the quiet girl.

“She can’t possibly fancy any of you tossers. She’s still got taste at the very least.” Ginny says with quite disgust on her face.

Fred was punching every foolish butterfly flying inside his stomach as he heard her laughter. She doesn’t seem to mind the teases his twin had thrown at her. Ironically aching him a little at the thought that she doesn't see him in a romantic way.

Well, she shouldn’t be, considering how close they are. She probably sees him as an older brother at most. Someone who would always put a smile on her face, but only as a brother, never a lover.

And with this realisation, Fred swore quietly to bury the budding feelings inside his chest. He shouldn’t be feeling jittery around her, he couldn’t. They’re a family, though not bounded by blood. Still, he couldn’t burn their bridge by painting it red. He ought to dim the light now before it gets anywhere more than puppy love.

----

Fred scrunch his nose in disapproval as he spots her entering Madam Puddyfoot’s Tea Shop, in hand with Cormac McLaggen. Now in her fifth year, she has certainly gained the attention of boys. None of those blokes are up to his standard to be frank, but bringing up the topic to her would only ignite another argument. Having known her for years, he couldn’t help but to feel a little bit protective.

At least, that’s the reason he’s so convinced of having.

“I’m yearning for some firewhiskey.”

George raises his brows at the sudden announcement his twin made, but follows him anyway as they head to the Three Broomsticks. They were never particularly fond of alcohol, but perhaps his twin could use a little bit of warming up. It is coming to the late weeks of December after all.

But as they sat down, it was clear to George that his brother wasn’t aiming for a light warm up, he wanted to get pissed. So pissed he wouldn’t remember who dragged him back to the castle in the morning.

“So am I only here to carry you back to our room or will you share your thoughts with me?” George says, pushing the empty glasses away.

Fred slurs, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The doorbell jingles as someone enters the bar and as if on cue, Fred’s locked to hers. She was no longer with McLaggen. A sight he very much prefers.

Noticing the familiar redheads in one of the booths, she approaches them with angry steps. The state Fred was in is certainly displeasing. His hair was unkempt, face as red as his hair from all the alcohol. His head was hung low, only supported with one arm resting on the table.

Fred couldn’t make out the nagging she was giving to him and George. Her words were fuzzy, like buzzes of bees swarming his ears and trying to enter the hive that is his brain. He could see George trying to defend himself from her long train of moaning, looking defensive.

“We’re going back to the castle.” she says with a demanding tone “Now.”

“But you haven’t had a drink.” Fred argues through his hiccups “Here, have some of my firewhiskey.”

She slaps away Fred’s hand that was giving her his half-empty glass, staring at him with a displeased look, “I am very disappointed in you, Fred.”

Her words sting his chest like a poison.

With one last huff of annoyance, George finally agrees to close the bill and bring Fred back to the castle. Fred is in no state of sobriety but it isn’t as bad as she’s reacting to. He hasn’t told him the reason he’s pouring down the alcohol either. If it wasn’t for her pleas and desperate gaze, he would’ve let his twin have another round.

And so the two of them now carry Fred back to the castle. She was far shorter than him, so she stood as nothing but an arm rest. Still, she tries her best to support Fred out of any trips. As much as he feels protective of her, she feels supportive of him too.

Once they reach the bedroom, she helps him take off his shoes and lay under the duvet. George was out, trying to find an empty bin just in case his twin had to empty his stomach later on. She tucks him tight, sitting on the side of his bed as she stares at him with a sigh.

She was about to leave when Fred’s hand wrapped her wrist, “Please stay.”

“You know I can’t stay in the boys dormitory.” she reasons softly, gently caressing his hand.

“No one will know. George wouldn’t tell a soul.”

She pauses to contemplate. They haven’t spent much time together and she’s dying to talk to him. He has been acting quite out of character lately, picking up arguments every chance he’s got. To see him completely stewed tonight was the icing on the cake for her.

“One snore, and I’ll leave.”

Fred smiles, nodding.

She peels the neatly tucked duvet back and slid herself in, scooching close to Fred. He reeks of alcohol but arguing about the foul odour would tarnish the intimacy they are in right now so she chooses to mentally turn a blind eye on it. It’s a rare gem to finally have some alone time with him.

“You smell nice.” Fred says as he rests his chin on her head, pulling her closer to his chest “You always smell nice.”

“Right, you’re sounding very creepy right now, if we’re honest.”

Fred smiles before pulling himself lightly to get a better look of her. She was staring at him, worry still evident lightly on her face. She must have been holding in thousands of questions about his behaviour but he is not in the mood to entertain them. He only wanted her to be there.

“Are you really disappointed in me?” he asks, sounding pitiful to himself.

“Well you have been quite the stranger lately.” she confesses gently “Is there anything you’d want to share with me? Anything that’s been bothering your mind?”

Fred pauses for a minute, wondering if he should just dive in and ask the million galleons question now. He could always hide under the excuse that he was drunk tomorrow morning. But it would only be him who forgets about the night. She would have to live with it for the rest of her life and he isn’t sure if he’d want her to carry it.

But he has been standing at the end of the cliffs for quite some time now. He’s dying to get it off of his chest. He’d try every diversion and convenience himself of every possibility there is but he still couldn’t really accept it. He is ultimately and undeniably in love with her.

“Promise me you won’t look at me differently.” he whispers, voice cracking in uncertainty “Promise me you won’t hate me for this.”

“I could never hate you, you know that.”

Fred forces a smile.

He chews the inside of his cheek, still debating inside. His brain was scrambled, unable to make a coherent sentence that would best convey his feelings. He was never even sure how to portray it sober, so you could tell how hard it is for him now.

“Do you still want your prince charming to be a redhead?”

She squints her eyes, smiling as the childish memory washes her, “I can hardly remember I ever wanted that, but I suppose having red head children is adorable.”

“McLaggen isn’t a redhead.” he says, expression now unreadable for her “And so is Dean Thomas and every other bloke you’ve had a date with.”

“Really?” she asks in annoyance “Out of your head and you still have the will to argue with me about boys.”

Fred could visibly see the brewing exasperation in her eyes. But he wasn’t planning on arguing with her. No, he only wanted to take this silly secret off of his chest.

“I’m a redhead.” he says softly “Date me instead.”

She was thunderstruck. She searched for any trace of prank on his face, yet there’s nothing she could find but vulnerability and sincerity. He was studying her reaction, hoping they were just mere surprise and not a sign of rejection.

“You’re drunk.” she says softly, trying to convince herself that his words hold no meaning “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“If I tell you tomorrow morning, would you believe me then?”

Fred looks persistent, but she couldn’t give herself the benefit of the doubt and take his words more than empty drunken words. She couldn’t let herself go through the same hell again of hoping he would see her more than his extended little sister. It took her years to master the act of indifference and dull the affection she’s had since he first rammed her with the cart years ago.

“I guess if you could even remember to tell me then, we’d have this talk.”

He nods eagerly, mentally swearing to himself to not forget this promise. He wouldn’t be able to, no matter how hard he’ll try to forget in the morning, he’s sure of it. He isn’t the type to blank from a night of long drinks. He will surely remember each detail that’s happened tonight when the lights come on.

----

Much to his dismay, he did remember. Well it’s hard to not realise that something had happened last night when he had her snuggled close to his chest, her arms tightly wrapping his waist. This is the very first time they’ve ever been this close. Sure they have slept next to each other before, but never this intimate.

And it’s scaring him.

He silently peels her arms away, the absence is leaving an invincible scar on his heart, but it has to be done. He can’t let this go more than what it has already been. Hell, he’ll be cursing himself for the rest of his life for ever letting last night happen.

“Going somewhere?” she asks before he could reach the door.

“Yeah, I uh, I need to throw up.” he tries to make an excuse. She points at the empty bin by the bed with a smile, pointing out his lie “I wouldn’t want to make you disgusted by my puke.”

She rolls her eyes, “Your puke might actually be one of the least disgusting things I’ve seen of you.”

Fred flashes an unsure smile, doubting himself to sit on the edge of the bed. Her gaze was too captivating for him. Like a massive blackhole ready to engulf him completely with no return. But he knows that she’s waiting for him to finish whatever it is he started last night. He owes her that at the very least.

“Listen,” he starts with a heavy sigh, not having the heart to meet her eyes “I know what you’re thinking, but I just- I made a mistake last night. I was drunk, and if you could just pour them down the drain, I believe that would be best for us all.”

She makes a baffled expression, shaking her head in confusion, “Just so we’re clear, what exactly was the mistake you’re talking about?”

“Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“No, really. I am lost.” she says with a light raise of tone “Were you referring to the fact that you’re completely hammered, or that you made poor judgement on the boys I’ve dated with, or the fact that you basically asked me to date you?”

Fred stares at her in defeat. His secret is out. He knows it, she knows it. The only way he could make this any worse is to leave her hanging. If he wants to end it then he better cut straight to it, give her the crystal clear position of where he’s standing. Spare the poor girl any more ponders at night.

“Love, I’m sorry.” he says gently, finally looking up to her “But you must understand why this can’t go on.”

“What can’t go on?”

“This.”

“What is this?” she yells, throwing her hands through the air in clear bewilderment “Your half spoken words and strange gestures these days. What exactly are you talking about Fred? I am completely and utterly puzzled.”

Fred wasn’t aware that his fists have curled into a ball, trying to hold in the outburst that is so fighting to come out. Seeing her in this state has given him the sight of all the seven hells. But if just confessing his feelings has brought them this much squabbles then imagine the anguish it would bring the both of them should they take it a step further.

At least, in his mind that’s the scenario they would go down to.

“You know I love you.” he confesses with a defeated tone “But you also know why we can’t be together.”

“No, actually I don’t.”

“Love, come on.” Fred chuckles half heartedly.

“No, I really don’t.” she says firmly, eyes still locked on him for answers “What could’ve been so bad if we were together?”

“Everything! Everything would turn bad the moment we change this.” he argues, standing from his seat. He paces around the bed, rummaging his hair despair “This, this very delightful feelings we’re having right now would last only for a month. Two at most if I could hold in my mean pranks. And then one day, within a year or five, we would fight about the silliest thing and forget why we loved each other in the first place.”

She sighs with a bitter smile. He didn’t even ask what she wanted. He just has to be the one to make the decision for the both of them, just like he always did. And it’s worse to finally realise that he has known all along that of her sentiment yet choses to turn the cheek and look away.

“You knew all along about my feelings and you didn’t even ask what I would’ve wanted.”

Fred shrugs, forcing a thin line of smile, “I think I know what you want.”

“And yet you still deny me of it.”

His face fell.

He never intended to hurt her, not like this. But he knew how impulsive he could get sometimes. And though the only thing he’s ever been so committed to is his feelings for her, being together with her would mean that there would be consequences the both of them have to carry. And that may include the scratch and burns of his hasty decisions.

“Love-”

“Don’t call me that if you can’t mean it.” she says softly before peeling her off of the cover “If you want to end what could’ve been the best relationship in our lives before it even started then I respect that. I respect your decision. But please don’t project your doubts on me and make it seem like I have any part in this nightmare because I know what I want and it certainly is not this.”

With those last words, she finds herself out of the bedroom. His heart completely shatters at the sound of the door closing, though she closes it softly. Fred could feel the strings in his heart snapping, aching his very body as the realisation hits. He didn’t need to be in a relationship with her to completely burn every bridges they have. He just has to be a complete arse to do so.

A complete arse who’s broken not only his but her heart too.

#fred weasley #fred weasley angst #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley scenario #fred weasley oneshot #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley x you #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x oc #fred weasley x y/n

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ystrike1 · 1 year

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Kimi ni Aisarete Itakatta - Shiruka Bakaudon (9/10)

Reality bites. It rips. It tears. Want to hear the truth? No? Too bad. Becoming obsessed with someone does reflect on you. It usually means you're lonely, or a complete loser incapable of either connecting with or empathizing with others. Love is not something that can be forced. That's the painful lesson here.

These characters do feel like high schoolers, and that makes the tragedy hurt more. Kanae wants approval and love. Her mother is abusive and her little brother blames her for that, because he's too young to understand that parents can be evil. She satisfies her desire for attention with underage prostitution, but that's a lie. It's one of the many lies she tells herself. She really just needs money. Her mother expects her to go to cram school all the time, because she's an idiot. Kanae uses the money she gets by selling herself to get a little freedom.

The end of this story is at the beginning. Kanae becomes obsessed with a baseball player who is a rising star. His shoulder gets injured, because of her. Eventually they do get together, and Kanae says he doesn't need his passion or baseball. Only her. It's pretty obvious that his life falls apart when they start dating. In the end he stabs her, even though he loves her obsessively too, and he doesn’t seem to know why.

In the beginning Kanae is so desperate for validation that she joins a group of friends....with no soul. None of these girls really care about friendship. Ichika is the ringleader, and she's obsessed with romance. Her parents are rich and she has a good life. The only thing she needs is the perfect lover. She wants Hiroshi. He's a baseball ace who is likely going to go pro.

Hiroshi saves Kanae while she's out with a pedo. Yes. Kanae is aware that the men are pedos. Hiroshi recognizes her from school and he leaps in. He's nice to her and then she lashes out. After that Hiroshi reaches out again, and she realizes that he really is kind.

Ichika forces Kanae to back down. Ichika is a seriously bad person and I mean that. Ichika tells the other girls to hit and bully Kanae. They do it, because Ichika is the ringleader. The most popular one. The group betrays Kanae. They start saying she seduced Hiroshi with her big boobs. They say she has no personality or charm outside of her boobs. Kanae is deeply insecure about this. She feels like an empty shell, because she doesn't have the freedom other students enjoy.

The chapters that take place in Kanae's home are beyond disturbing. She lives in a poor place full of gangs. Her mother thinks she is lazy, useless and stupid. When Kanae defends herself against bullying her mother....drags her outside by the hair and makes her daughter sleep outside. In her eyes fighting at school is shameful and yet another sign of laziness.

Kanae has a jar of savings. She gives it to her friend Narumi. Narumi is a junior member of a gang. He is also Kanae's only real friend. He loves Kanae. Alot. She doesn't even see him as a guy. Reality is harsh. Narumi can't "save" her from poverty and reality like her perfect Hiroshi can. So, she only ever sees Hiroshi as a man. All other men are just tools to dump her trauma on. She likes Narumi, but there are hints. Kanae vents to Narumi constantly, but they hardly ever talk about him.

Kanae tells Narumi to gather his gang and beat up Ichika.

They do more than that. Ichika waits for a prince to save her, but it doesn’t happen. Kanae secretly films the whole thing, so she can use the footage to keep Ichika away from Hiroshi. It's heartbreaking. Ichika is not a nice girl, but as a reader you have to be conscious. Look at reality instead of the revenge fantasy. Why is this happening?

Kanae is committing this crime to protect the ideal version of Hiroshi in her head. The one who is only nice to her. In reality Hiroshi is a normal popular dude with ex-girlfriends and friends and a future he worked hard for.

Narumi snaps. Kanae finally admits that she loves Hiroshi. Narumi finally admits that he was being nice to Kanae because he wanted her. He wanted to live happily with her, but the popular baseball guy took her heart the day they met. Narumi at this point is also traumatized. He didn't want to hurt Ichika. He wanted to make Kanae happy. That's why he sacrificed all of his morals, and now he doesn't even get a reward for that.

Being a yandere isn't a character trait. An obsession happens under certain conditions. Helping Kanae made Narumi feel happy and strong, when he was being violently initiated into his gang. So, he started to feel entitled to her. Hiroshi is nice to everyone but he has a hero complex. He enjoys saving Kanae from her panic attacks and drama. His best friend warns him and tells him she's toxic, but after his injury worsens he's too vulnerable to care. Ichika wanted an unrealistic romance and a group of forever friends that would never betray her. She got a group of sociopaths and Hiroshi thought she was creepy and pushy. Then she ended up alone because her disloyal friends left her for the next shiny popular thing.

He hits Hiroshi in the shoulder with a wrench. This is what eventually tanks his baseball career. Hiroshi's wonderful but blunt best friend saves him....but even that's cruel in the end. Hiroshi is just crippled enough to pretend to be ok. A full beating would have been better, but he's just healthy enough to be in denial. He also starts trying to date Kanae, which ruins his life completely. After his wound gets worse Kanae says she'll love him without baseball. He gets trapped in a toxic and clingy relationship. Kanae starts hurting the people around him. He loves her. He stabs her and then he goes down in history as an abusive, murderous asshole.

Even though he was the nice guy all along.

Obsession isn't pretty.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #manga #Kimi ni Aisarete Itakatta

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cellphone2 · 2 years

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the colour blue

I have had a very shitty run of experiences with men. as one of my friends says, I have the worst taste in men, and he was one of the boys I was with briefly so if that doesn’t tell you everything then idk what will.

my love life (if you can even call it that, no one has ever actually told me they loved me no matter how long-term or close we were, kind of embarrassing on my end yeah) is truly a shit show. one disaster, one heartbreak, one flop after the next - nothing seems to stick. since about two years old, when I started hearing and watching these little princess stories, I’ve veryyy heavily placed importance on finding my own version of a prince charming. it doesn’t really seem to be working, every man has his things and of course that’s natural but it still hurts. like, what amount of gaslighting is acceptable? is it bad that he calls other girls fit right in front of me? should I really be this bothered that he called me damaged? how bad was it that he didn’t speak to me on my birthday?

mac miller has a lyric in my favourite song (congratulations, if u wondered) where he says “you remind me of the colour blue”. this is in fact a very sweet lyric as he follows it up with a cheeky “girl I’m so in love with you” but my brain chooses to ignore that aspect. I’ve started to think that despite this short run maybe it’s a sign to give up on trying to find happy points in someone else. I remind myself of the colour blue. not the warmest colour, not most peoples favourite, not exactly associated with the happiest things but at the moment all of these things just feel like me. the idea of a prince is something I’m gradually losing faith in. it’s not gonna happen and maybe it isn’t the worst thing that I can’t find my person to remind me of the colour blue, it’d just be like dating myself.

also why the FUCK does my laptop keep correcting colour to color.

I am quite literally not even slightly american.

jesus christ.

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averbaldumpingground · 3 years

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All I ever wanted was you, like the time we got groceries by Astor. You, with a basket with chicken and yoghurt dumped in it, and I trailed behind you and wanted.

There wasn't a clean way to end things. There couldn't have been. I wouldn't follow you to Texas, not with a half-broken heart and all of it, so unrequited. You'd only jokingly asked.

But I'm not sure you understood me. It was the evenings sitting on your radiator, with the radio on, watching movies on my couch, the errands, the time after church, those were the moments I wanted.

I loved you like a book that I'd reread. The kind of thoughts I'd only realized much later were different.

#June 12 2021 #Garbage.#I'm thinking of a Charlotte Cornfield song a bit.#She's fantastic btw.#The Shape of Your Name is just such a fucking perfect album.#Man.#I saw her a few years back at Rockwood Music Hall where she was opening for Royal Wood.#(Who is also fantastic and I've seen a bunch of times at Club Passim and the Living Room and Rockwood.)#(Which should date me a bit. Because I keep saying it but I fucking miss the Living Room.)#(Best shows there were the third or so time I got to see Royal Wood live and I got him to play the Oompa Loompa song.)#(And the one time I got to see Django Haskins when he was playing a solo show.)#(And the audience kept requesting things from his pre-The Old Ceremony days. And I got him to play 'Beautiful'.)#(He seemed very humbled to take us back through his song catalogue. It was a really great intimate show.)#(Folding Stars has some great stuff on it. I still have a physical copy of it somewhere I think.)#(I got it when I was in high school. I think I discovered him because a webcomic I liked mentioned his old band International Orange.)#(His version of 'Prince Charming' is just kind of heartbreaking.)#(Any I'm not sure why I requested 'Beautiful' that night. The song I've listened to most on that album is definitely 'Geronimo'.)#(And my favorite songs of his are probably 'State Road Valentine' and 'Blood and Oil' and 'Holiday in Elsinore'.)#(The latter two are The Old Ceremony songs.)#(But I don't know. I guess I was feeling kind of raw that night and figured if he was entertaining left field requests let's go for it.)#(I miss the Living Room.)#(I've seen Royal Wood a bunch at Rockwood. Including the times he played with Charlotte Cornfield and Diana Chittester.)#(And yes I bought both the ladies' albums because they're great.)#(I was supposed to see Charlotte Cornfield at littlefield last year. But that obviously got canceled because PLAGUE.)#(So the last concert I actually went to was Sloan at the Bowery.)#(And like can I just say? Chris Murphy is such a total sweetheart.)#(I mean I knew this already because I had met him briefly many many years ago when I saw Sloan at T.T. the Bear's.)#(But nicest most genuine musician/famous person I've ever met? Without a doubt Chris Murphy from Sloan.)#(I'm sure I probably raved about this last year some time around that concert happening.)#(I just miss live music a lot right now. There's some stuff coming up I want to see but don't particularly want to go alone to.)

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jay-and-dean · 3 years

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Don’t look down, Baby Part 1/3

Dean x reader

Summary : Dean told her to ignore the “thing” between them and to jump in any guy’s arms. Any of them but him.

When we think of a guy our Y/n could be with, longing for Dean, it’s usually a nice dude, a little boring, right ? Because who can compete with Dean ? Now, what if this guy was as badass as Dean ?

Characters : Dean Winchesters, Sam Winchester, Reader, Abraham Hale (OC)

Warnings : Angst, jealous Dean, Smut (unprotected sex -you’re smarter than this !-, oral, also kinda lame sex if it’s a warning), cheating, swearing, smoking, drinking... More warnings in the second part.

Wordcount : 6k (yes, just the part one... now you get why I cut it.)

Note : So for the Aestetic, I used the face of Jax Teller from Sons Of Anarchy, and you have to know, even if Abraham Hale looks like him, he is totally an OC.

This is writen both in Reader and Dean’s Pov. Dean’s thought are in italic.

Text divider by the talented @talesmaniac89

Jay’s Masterlist

September 16, 10:33pm

Dean’s POV

I always thought that when Y/n finds a guy, it would be the perfect douche I wanted for her. Some nice dude named Robert, a cop maybe, or a realtor with a friendly family.

He would annoy me to death with his stories about growing up in a farm, and call her Pumpkin. He would worry a little when she goes out with us because he thinks we drink too much when we’re together.

He would tear her from me and I would hate him for that. She would skip a hunt to meet his parents, another to spend a few days in the cabin he rented… But even if it breaks my heart, it would be exactly what I want for her, so I would let her go.

I had it all planned.

But, of course, she didn’t play by the rules.

And that guy is no Robert…

His loud manly laugh tears me from my thoughts. His tattooed hand wraps around his whiskey glass and I turn my head to that waitress that always gives me warm smiles, she’s staring at him now, with the sweetness that was once for me.

Abe.

Ex-gang member, Abe. Bad guy turned good. Raised by the widow of a gang member, in a violent environment, he already had a criminal record at fourteen, started selling guns before he was officially allowed to drink, ended up in prison at Twenty-two.

Sweet smile Abe. Reformed bad boy with an attitude. Became a hunter after he met a vampire gang and slew them to the last. Now defender of the good citizen, he found his fight, and the hunters talk about him as one of the bests.

Afraid of nothing and ready to fight, charismatic, alpha Abe. His muscular arm in the back of my girl, his long blond hair falling on his face when he lights up a cigarette in a grunt of content while she touches his neck.

Abe. My new nemesis.

“So Dean” he says with his deep voice hoarse from smoking too much. “How did you meet my girl ?”

I met her on a hunt, invited her to my room and took her on that wall. Do you remember, Y/n ? Don’t look down baby, look at me.

“On a hunt.”

“That’s how I met her too” he smiles and kisses her temple. “Seems like we have a lot in common.”

“Looks like we do” I state.

Her eyes darken and she turns her head, I know how to read her, she is pissed, and I don’t even know why. I did nothing, I said nothing, and her rock-and-roll version of prince charming is worshiping her, so what causes that bitterness ?

What is it, baby ? Am I missing something ?

“So I heard your brother and you have this fucking palace ?” he gives me a corner smile, smoke coming out of his nose.

“Who told you that ?” I grunt.

What is the point of a secret bunker if it is as secret as a freaking tweet ?

He chuckles and takes a sip of his whiskey, not answering.

Abe never answers all the questions he is asked, maybe it is some cool thing for guys like him, maybe it is his way of look mysterious or powerful. What is sure is, as annoying as it is, it freaking works. But each time he smirks with his eyes lost in the bottom of his glass in a little huff instead of speaking, I get closer to losing it and smashing his pretty face on the table.

“I told him” she says almost coldly. “Like you did all your friends, Abe is my boyfriend, Dean.”

I nod. What can I say, she’s right after all. She’s always right…

She was right about that cop being the bad guy the first time we hunted together, right about the fact that my so-called bond with Amara would fade the second she gets whatever she wanted. She was right about Jack being a good kid but dangerous enough to need to be watched and educated instead of pushed away. Right about Mary hurting me more than I admitted…

She was right when she said I was wrong. The day I told her we shouldn’t sleep together again, that she should just ignore that thing between us and jump in any guy’s arms. Any of them but me…

I really say that : any of them. I did.

Did you choose Abe just to annoy me, baby ? To prove a point ? You had to bring a guy who would beat me at my own grumpy-loner-badass-crap-drink-too-much game, right ?

“That place sounds sure awesome, because Y/n keeps coming back to it” he states, not letting me know the true meaning he puts in that sentence, his piercing blue eyes free of any emotions on the surface.

“Well it’s home for her” I say, and that bastard chuckles. “Is it funny ?”

“Not at all !” he says with a warm and kind laugh, and a friendly tap on my shoulder. “You should relax Dean, you look like the bar is full of demons !”

I stay stern, I know I should probably look friendly, but I rarely hated someone nice that much.

He gets up and kisses her head before he walks away, his manly way to move catching women’s attention, and some men’s too. One of his hand goes through his blond hair while he walks to the bathroom with the other hand deep in his jeans’ pocket.

“So… Abe, huh ?” I ask, the second he’s gone.

I should be more coherent, I know. I want her gone, but I want her for me. I was sure I was ready to see her with someone else, it’s been three years. Three years ! After we only made love six times. She is not mine, she never was.

And I thought calling her Baby in my head would make me strong. It’s a weird feeling, like I could let her be happy, but still feel special. I would have been the passion of her youth, the one that died young and of which she would think a little when she rocks her baby in her pretty house…

I had somehow romanticized my heartbreak.

But that doesn’t feel romantic at all. And all I can think of is that he is passion too, I’m not dead, and I just have to see him touch her and imagine them at night…

“Yes” she says, still with that bitterness in her voice. “You could make an effort, Dean. He has been nothing but nice, and you act like he’s an enemy.”

“I haven’t decided if he is one yet.”

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head in disapproval.

I recognize hurt. My Y/n, when she’s hurt, she gets angry. Always. And I made her angry so often. Her irritation is growing, I can see it in her burning eyes.

“You can’t do that” she says low. “You can’t treat him like that, no one gives you the right.”

“And him ?” I dare asking, staring at her reddened face. “Does he treat you right ?”

Her eyes fills with tears again and her jaw clenches.

“Better than you did, you mean ?” her words feel like a stab in my heart.

Reader’s POV

I didn’t want to say that, it came out by itself.

I’m thin-skinned lately. I feel like I could cry or scream any moment, all the time. My emotions have always been loud, my sensibility overwhelming, but for a few weeks I’m drowning.

The fact that I decided to try to get over Dean Winchester probably caused that.

A long time ago, I thought living with Dean without ever having him would be the worst, then I saw him with other women and was convinced I was mistaking before : the worst was definitely that. How wrong was I ?

The worst is having had him. Not once, but several times, each time a little more intimate. More kisses, more touches, more suspended seconds watching in each other’s eyes… Until we spent that night together, that last night, and he fell asleep against me for the first time.

It was over. It was too much for Dean, and not enough for me.

Dean Winchester can’t belong to anyone, not again. He doesn’t want to be a boyfriend, and he doesn’t want me to be his girl ; who am I to insist ?

“Well, that’s a minimum” he answers in a soft groan after a little while, and my heart breaks because I just did what I swore I would never do : Reproach him for any of it.

“I’m sorry” I sigh, thinking of those weeks after the last night, when I had to hide the worst pain I ever felt because I didn’t want him to feel bad about not wanting me.

I still do... -feel that pain and try to hide- because Abe or not, I still live with Dean and he doesn’t deserve to carry my pain on top of the world on his shoulders.

“Can you at least try ?” I beg, low, seeing my boyfriend getting out of the restroom but stopping next to the door to talk to someone he obviously knows.

“Yes” Dean answers. “I’m just… He’s a hunter and…”

“He’s a good man” I assure him, looking at Abe walking toward us above Dean’s shoulder. “He comes from a dark place, like us, but he is a good man.”

September 21, 08:12pm

“That place is crazy !” Abe says, sitting at the table of the library. “I have never seen anything like this.”

While Sam tells him a little more about the bunker, I look at my boyfriend.

I stare at him, trying to get rid of that uncomfortable impression, that feeling screaming that he doesn’t belong here ; because if he doesn’t belong in the bunker, then he probably just has nothing to do in my life.

A lot of memories cross my mind, like it happens a lot lately.

The memory of entering the bunker for the first time and deeply knowing that, as long as I am welcome here, this would be my home. Because it just feels right and because, even if I’m not the granddaughter of Henri Winchester, he trusted me with this place, as much as he trusted his family. That man actually welcomed me like Mary never really did, like I was just as legit as blood.

At his frank smile, the memory of meeting Abe crosses me too. I was alone in this hunter bar, trying to get information for a case. I hadn’t told Sam and Dean that I would go there, because I know how much uncomfortable the hunter community makes them. And I was introduced to him : Abraham Hale. I found him so beautiful, with his mischievous smile that seemed to mock the entire world, his wheat blond hair and his tattoos. Something felt so safe about him, not because he looked like a bad boy, but because he was light and happy, laughing at everything and taking nothing seriously… All that Dean wasn’t.

I loved his wild energy right away. Abe was like the drums in a rock song, like summer wind. In his arms, I forgot about Dean for a few seconds a day during the first weeks. We spent days sleeping and having sex behind the curtains of that motel room, hiding from summer heat, and nights drinking and listen to rock music...

But now I look at him, his bright blue eyes seem pale next to the deep green looking back, and his beauty is bland.

“Thank you for showing me your home, Treasure” he says, putting a tender hand on my back like he always does.

And my eyes cross Dean’s.

I know what he’s thinking, he’s cringing at the nickname, and that reminds me why I am with Abe : Dean never gave me a nickname, he never called me anything else than my name, he will never and even when others do, he thinks it’s lame and cheesy.

Dean’s POV

That hurt on her face again.

Baby, you can’t look at me like that each time he calls you Treasure . I don’t like it, but you’re supposed to do.

This is much harder than I thought, and I was aware it would be impossible.

Each and every one of his actions makes me face my own contradictions : The more loving he is, the more I want to push him away from her. But the more she seems distant and to have her head in the clouds, the more it eases the pain. Am I selfish enough to hate her happiness even though I love her ?

I was in control, during those three years not touching her, my heart was aching with craving and my soul was screaming at me to make her love me. But as much as the heartbreak was constant, I had chosen it. I was in control.

I never realize that it was only bearable because she was still here, my partner, my best friend, my roommate. Mine.

Now she took it back. She raised her middle finger right in my face and decided she wouldn’t be mine anymore.

And that is a whole new level of pain.

I don’t sleep when she’s not home, and sometimes food just won’t let me eat it. She texts during our movie nights and wears that pendant he gave her. I hate that pendant because it reminds me I never gave her a present. Not once in all those years.

“Another drink ?” Y/n asks him with the bottle in her hand.

“Don’t you drive ?” I cut him before he answers and I see her eyes shoot me with imaginary bullets.

I’m sorry Baby but it’s movie night tonight, can’t he just leave already ?

“He’s right” she says giving me a little hope that she will ask him to leave soon. “You should stay for the night.”

My breathing gets stuck in my lungs.

No Baby, don’t do that to me. Please.

“With pleasure !” he smiles.

September 21, 11:49pm

Reader’s Pov

He grabs my thigh to lift it a little and grunt in my ear. His kisses are hot on my neck, his heavy body moving cautiously on top of me.

My eyes are on the ceiling, my hands on his sweaty muscular back and I wait.

Damn, what is happening ? He’s close, I am going to fake it ? I swore I would never fake, I swore if the guy can’t get me there, he should know, but… Abe is not the problem, I am.

I just watch the ceiling wondering what is wrong with me. He did everything right, nice foreplays and those love words he always has for me. But nothing seems to turn me on anymore, and without the need and the pleasure, his thrusts are just uncomfortable and I feel weird.

Come already.

I sigh. I know what is making this impossible. Dean. This fucker is the last I had in my own bed, the only one in fact. And everything reminds me that Abe is not Dean fucking Winchester !

“You okay Treasure ?” he pants in my ear, nibbling at it.

I’m not a freaking snack, what is it with his mouth and teeth always ?

“Yes” I fake a moan. “I’m close Abe, come.”

Just don’t be loud, that would be so awkward.

When he loses rhythm, I close my eyes at the relief, it won’t be long now, make it stop. He shakes a little and grunt loud, filling the condom inside of me ; and, to make my fake moans credible, I clench my walls around him one time or two, rolling my eyes at his proud groan.

Sex with Abe used to be so much more than this. I'm getting frustrated. Did I break something in me ? Why can't I enjoy anything anymore ?

He rolls on my side, panting, and smiles tenderly at me. He’s beautiful, I have to admit that, and he’s nice and loving.

“You’re amazing” he hums. “I guess I can’t smoke in your bedroom ?”

“I don’t mind” I answer sincerely. “The air co is magical, just, don’t smoke more than one.”

He sits on the bed to get his pants, his beautiful tattooed back on me. The smoke flies in pretty wreath. I put my hand on the lion tattooed on his back. It suits him, with his solar attitude and his confidence, his beautiful blond hair…

Yet I keep longing for my wolf.

Dean’s Pov

Now I know I could kill him. And now I know what the limit amount of pain I can take is.

I pace my room like a crazy man. He is taking her, my Baby. He is sinking inside of her and stealing pleasure. Does she wrap her legs around him like she always did with me ? To push me deeper. Is she as responsive ? As lost in pleasure as she was ? With that way only she has too beg for more with her entire body, voice strangled and arms caging me the best she can…

Is she…

“F-fuck…” I whine, holding my heart.

I think I just felt it break.

Baby…

Breathing is painful now, I feel like I’m drowning.

Baby… Why did you have to do that to me ? I know I hurt you but your revenge is unbearable.

I sit on my bed, still holding my chest.

I can’t take it, you know.

“Shit” I grunt.

How can this kind of familiar panic attack be back ? How can this hurt so much ? It’s not Hell, it’s not Purgatory…

“It is Hell” I say out loud.

Loosing you, Baby. It’s Hell. Do you love him ? Because…

“Fuck, I love her” I whine.

September 28, 06:05pm

Sitting in my “Fortress of Deanitude”, I wait. The tray with snacks is there, beers too, and Netflix is ready for our next episode of Stanger Things.

But there is a big chance she won’t come. Our movie nights are getting rarer and rarer, like our time together in general. And this place is slowly becoming a Fortress of Solitude…

You never know how much you need something until you lost it, right ? I was stupid enough to think I could be stronger than the need for her and now look at me, alone in that big empty room in a bigger emptier bunker.

All I can think of is how much each day pulls her closer to him and further from me. They are building memories in which I’m not, they are building an intimacy that I lost three years ago. She will forget me and he will have her, maybe even make her change a little, until one day she is among those people who talk about their personal tastes by saying “we”. “We prefer red wine”.

Ew.

Is he going to change my girl, for real ? Make her love Led Zeppelin a little less, make her a little less her, make her want other things, another life, need me less ? Our things will become unimportant and be replaced by all kind of other things I have no idea about.

I take a long sip of my glass. It’s not like I had my word to say anyway. I lost her. I lost her in the worst way possible : willingly.

But just when I’m about to get up and go put the snacks away, she opens the door, panting a little, like she had ran.

“Dean” she says entering the room. “I’m sorry. There was an accident on the road and the traffic was disturbed.”

You were at his place, Baby, and you ran to me ?

A little smile lights up my face when her presence revive my heart.

“It’s okay” I say.

“I’m late, but I have…” she takes her hand out of her purse. “Giant skittles !”

“You found them ?” I smile, sitting straighter when she hands me a bag.

Our things are not all gone. And she still cares about me and about our time together.

“Yup ! I made Abe stop in every shop yesterday.”

So you think of me when you’re with him, Baby ? Have you ever thought of me while he was inside of you ?

“Sit” I pat the armchair next to mine. “Let’s find out if Dusty’s girlfriend exists !”

“I really hope !” she exclaims, taking off her jacket.

I try not to look at her, but when she quickly takes off her jeans to slip in her pajamas pants, I swallow hard. Those thighs could have been for me, and I could have watched the show while holding her.

She sits with her knees up against her chest in the big chair next to me, and takes a beer. My eyes are glued to her, looking for anything unusual, and fearing it more than anything in the same time.

“What ?” she calls me out of my thoughts.

“Nothing, I…” have no idea how to finish this sentence.

“I’m still okay you know ?” she says without looking at me, playing with the label of her beer bottle. “You always stare at me like something had happened to me. I know what you think of Abraham, but he doesn’t treat me bad.”

Reader’s Pov

“I’m sorry” he sighs. “You know how protective I can get. Especially with you…”

A chuckle escapes me and I know he doesn’t like it, but protective with me ? He broke my heart. He ripped it and threw it on the floor because I had said those words.

“Yeah…” I nod, nibbling at my lip. “You won’t find bruises on me.”

He doesn’t answer.

When did we become like this ?

After a silence, he hands me candies and presses play. But, chewing on sugar and my eyes on the screen, I keep my full attention on him.

I have everything any girl would want : A lover with hot blood, beauty and a heart of gold. But I'm not any girl, and the only thing I want is Dean Winchester. The genius who thinks he's dumb, the scared little boy who lost his mom, the leader, the victim of his fate, the killer, the loyal friend, the rebel, the torturer, the perfect brother, the wary hunter, the crappy dancer ; grumpy Dean, childish Dean, stubborn Dean, all of Dean...

I look at him and my eyes travel down his neck, his beard is fighting to grow back there but I know he won't let it. The slow movements of his chest are mesmerizing. My eyes go down, to his thighs and crotch...

I really shouldn't let myself look there but his smell and aura are like a mermaid song and I'm drowning. His strength is radiating of him and I feel myself respond to it in everyone of my heartbeats.

He could make me scream. He always did, so easily. Dean made me cry of pleasure more than once, sometimes without any effort, the brushes of his fingers, the burning of his kisses... And when he finally buried himself inside of me, it was like a firework in Heaven. He never had to do anything really special...

And now I wonder : Is something broken about me ? Abe is passionate and loving, we used to work great, he was easy as whiskey. And he loves me. Why am I unable to enjoy any of it lately ?

My eyes trace the bump in Dean’s pants and I remember the simple ecstasy of feeling his cock twitch for me. Dean... I bite my lip to hold back the moan hanging on my tongue. His thigh moves a little, strong muscles hidden in his jeans, and I think of his stomach contracting that time he came on my tongue. I…

“I see you” his deep serious voice hits the air like thunder.

I look up to meet his eyes and realize I have been staring at his crotch, licking my lips and probably visibly holding back moans.

“Do you need something ?” he asks with a proud aura on his face.

I want to punch that expression off of his perfect features.

I look down and sigh. Yes, I do. I need him, not only want like I would like to think, but need indeed. I need him to feel my body, to make it alive, and to hear my soul breathe again.

“Dean…” I just say.

Like it was an answer or reproach but of course, he hears it for what it is.

A call.

So he gets up, suddenly so tall that he eclipses the TV, the light and my will. He comes in front of me, standing there, making me look up timidly through my lashes. His strong hand lands cautiously on my cheek, gently holding my face while I lean on his touch.

I can resist him. I can.

I think of Abe's sweet smile, of his deep voice and his arms around me. I think of this night he told me about jail and I tried all I could to make him feel safe again, that was a beautiful moment... We are something beautiful Abe and me. We are going to make it right, to make it count. Right ?

As my heart fights itself, playing all the love songs I know at once in my head in a deafening dim of emotions, my eyes fill with tears. I know what is going to happen, and the cruel god writing my story can stop there, the end is already obvious.

I can't resist Dean. I just can't.

And Abe will cry, right ? He trusts me. He will take his bag and yell maybe, the sun inside of him will get clouded, he will drive away. Then I will let my body slide on the door frame, unable to hold my weight up, because I will have broken the only man that ever truly loved me.

I look down to hide the pain from Dean, but he knows me better.

"I can leave" he says.

But it's the last thing I want because I miss him, I miss him like a part of me died years ago and I still feel empty and cold... I miss him when I'm alone, and even more when I'm not.

When he's about to move, take a step back to leave me alone, I grab his belt and hold him in place firmly. I have no plan, no solid thought, but I know I can't be away from him for now. He smells both like the most familiar home and the wildest dream.

My other hand grazes the fabric of his jeans on his thigh, I close my eyes for a second and a little whimper escapes me. I started touching Dean less than a day after meeting him, and it seems I can't be around him without having my hands on his body.

He hums, staring down at me, bow legs slightly parted like he needed balance, like he was gripping the floor for both of us. Dean had always been my anchor. His shoulders look wider from down here and I want nothing more than letting my hands grab his butt to rub my cheek on his crotch like a cat marking its territory.

"Touch me like you need it, Baby" he murmurs and a little sob escapes me unexpectedly.

He never ever called me Baby.

He never gave me any nickname like he never gave me the place I thought I could take in his heart. And Abe, he calls me Treasure. He welcomed me in his heart...

"What's wrong ?" Dean asks like he didn't know.

Dean Winchester is the world's greatest hero, saved basically everyone's life without any reward, and for this he is a saint ; and still, he's the one that is going to be the end of me. Hero or not, he's my villain.

"Everything is wrong, Dean" I answer in a broken voice. "Everything."

He squats in front of me and my hand panics at losing my grip on his belt so it grasps his flannel like my life depends on it.

"Not everything" he whispers, bending to let his poisonous lips graze my skin.

My treacherous mouth opens in reflex at the proximity of his, making him respond by biting my lower lip. I whimper again and pull him closer.

"I got you" he states, letting his burning lips trace down my chin and my neck followed by his thumb, scratching my skin with his short nail. And I catch fire.

I let my head falls back and I surrender totally.

That's how bad he is for me : I could let him break my heart again without an hesitation, after it took me years to recover just enough to just function. And oh, I will. I will shatter the heart of the man that trusts me just to let Dean selfishly remind me how much I love him.

His breath is burning my skin, spreading in the fabric of my t-shirt when he buries his face on my chest, opening his mouth wide to pretend to bite my breast, hand cupping my sides like he had missed me for real. I let go of the plaid fabric to grip the short strand of his hair like I can.

"Dean..." the moan I have been holding comes out, filling the room with sin and the echo of future lies.

"I got you" he repeats.

His hungry hands seize my jeans and tear it open, fighting the metallic button's resistance brutally. The fabric hurts my lower back in a last resistance but is ripped off of me the second after, taking my panties in its way.

And before I can sit straighter now that I'm on the edge of the chair, before I can talk, think or breath. Dean's anaconda arms grab my thighs firmly and his burning breath is on my folds.

"Wh-" I start but what can I say now.

He kisses my folds like no men ever did : like he was in love with that part of me. An open mouth kiss, tongue eagerly lapping my juice from my entrance to my clit.

"AH !" I scream, arching my back but Dean doesn't take a second to breathe, burying his face on me.

I squirm, licking my lips like I was kissing him back but the place he is devouring can only respond with throbs and getting soaked, which is does.

I'm panting, I'm being eaten by the flames of that indescribable pleasure that is back. My stomach is shaking, my temples are beating so loud. I suck a breath when he sucks at my clit, moist hand gripping the leather of the chair.

"Dean" I moan again in the subdued light of the warm room.

He answers with a hum, and his nimble tongue pushes at my entrance, making my thighs shake violently in the vise grip of his arms.

I can't escape what Dean does to me so I let go.

My whole body falls backward when I come, harder than I have in years, holding his hair so tight it might hurt him, legs shaken by electricity, back arching and chest fighting itself to breath. My sensible clit seems to have nerves in my whole body and I fall silent, covered in sweat, suffocated by a forbidden crushing orgasm.

I whimper desperately, limp and lost, panting in the chair like I didn't realize yet what just hit me. But Dean knows what he's doing, he knows where this goes.

He opens his jeans, I can feel it even though I don't see him, my head still back, moaning at the caresses of his tongue on my neck. I bite my lip hard, hand moving from the arm of the chair to his, to feel his eagerness.

And he grabs my thighs harshly, making me fall on the floor with him and holds my back when I can't, keeping me against him.

"So wrong..." I whisper in a dying echo of my disgrace.

His hand grasps my face firmly and makes me look at him. His eyes have this fire in them, he clenches his jaw when I roll my lips a little, wetting his craved cock on me, dying of being finally filled by him.

"Keep your eyes on me" he groans, grabbing his length to guide it at my throbbing entrance.

"Dean..." I moan, fingers reaching his stomach under his clothes to feel it tremble.

"Eyes on me baby" he repeats low.

Dean's Pov

She can't think of him. Not now. I need her with me, I need her for me.

Feel me, baby.

I smile slightly when she dives her unfocused pupils in my eyes. She's perfect and I love her ; but I must say when she seems to surrender so completely to my touch, that's when forgot why I asked her to stay away.

When I enter her, her phone lights up once again in her back, on the floor. I groan loud as she wraps me like only she can, like she was trying to suck me inside her core. She's shaking, she's fighting to keep her eyes on me and I'm fighting that urge to grab her phone and shatter it in a million pieces against the wall.

She gasps, her body threatening to fall back so I hold her.

That's it baby, stay with me, feel me, let me take you like I used to when you were mine.

My hand fists her hair and my mouth gets attracted to her pulse point so I bend to suck at it, barely thrusting for now, just enjoying to be inside of her, feeling her pulsating with desire, the concrete hard floor digging in my knees.

Her arms wrap around me, she cling to me and I try to ignore my jealousy shouting at me.

Baby, you try to ignore me but can he do that to you ? Can he turn you into a purring cat like that ?

"Dean" she moans, clenching around me, her thighs trying to get herself even closer so she takes me impossibly deeper.

"Say you want me" I murmur against her skin in a voice I barely recognize.

"I want you" she gives in, exhaling in my ear.

Behind her, her phone lights up one more time with a text : "I found us a case in California, Treasure."

=> PART 2

FEEDBACK IS GOLD

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filmflowersbangtan · 3 years

Text

Dead of Night (preview)

pairing: gang member!jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: swearing | drug mention | gangs | in the full story, there will be violence, blood, fighting, threatening

preview word count: 4k

you meet jungkook in a diner in the early morning where it’s just the two of you in the entire place. An interesting relationship ensues, and you find out he’s not who you thought he was. He’s a prominent member of the city’s most powerful gang, surrounded by danger and trouble. But you still want him.

author’s note: I sincerely apologize for being gone for so long and for not updating any of my fics. To everyone waiting on IMSWY pt. ii: I am so sorry for taking so long with it. It’s still in my WIPs, and I haven’t given up on it yet, but it is on the back burner right now since I have many other ideas bubbling up that I absolutely have to write or else they will probably internally set me aflame (lol).

I will be deleting many of my fics soon. I will be keeping “Unbound,” “I Must Still Want You,” “Heartbreaker with a Heart of Gold,” and “Lonely Planets.” Everything else I will be deleting because I have no desire to finish working on them or I simply do not like them anymore and can’t see them going anywhere.

I also will probably not be writing anymore series. Everything will most likely be one shot because every time I start a series, I get too overwhelmed with the idea of updating parts and finishing them that I just end up postponing them for too long and leaving too many people who have been looking forward to them disappointed. I do want to say that I have been going through So Much since I last posted Lonely Planets pt. ii and IMSWY, but I am in a so so so much better place now. That’s why I’m even writing this story now.

This will be a oneshot. It will not be a series. It will be very long. I am almost finished with it, but I am posting this preview just to see if you all would like to continue reading it.

Thank you all. I appreciate all the feedback and the follows and the reblogs so, so much. The feedback and the reblogs of Heartbreaker with a Heart of Gold is what really motivated me to write this one. I hope you all enjoy it. 😊

Being alone was like an addiction. It was fulfilling and appealing and…well, lonely.

Two in the morning diner stops during the weekdays had become routine. The place was completely empty save for a waitress and a cook and maybe a tired trucker. You tucked yourself in a booth in the back. The vinyl seats were cracked and uncomfortable, the lighting was stark and washed everything raw. But it was comforting. Sleep was evasive and your apartment was barely unpacked, boxes stacked haphazardly in the dining area and the mattress on the living room floor. It was your idea to move to this vast city far away from home. This city swallowed everything in its incessant noise. Nocturnal and teeming with cars and neon lights. It never rested and the two of you had that in common. You took solace in that.

The air was thick with bacon grease and bitter black coffee. Every morning you had waffles and orange juice. The refills were free and the waffles were the exact same circumference as the plate underneath it. Time was stagnant here. The city pressed against the plate glass windows, but the reflections from inside barred its entry. If you looked out, you simply stared directly at yourself. Maybe there was some kind of metaphor in that.

The night shift waitress, Bethany, set your plate of steaming waffles on the table as well as a glass syrup dispenser. She knew you by name and you thanked her for the food. She smiled sweetly and left you be.

The door chimed, denoting the entry of another patron. You didn’t look up. Bethany greeted the person in her cheerful customer service voice. You knew she didn’t actually sound like that. Once, you glimpsed her smoking a cigarette by the dumpster at the back of the diner arguing with her boyfriend on her cell phone. She had a tired voice. You wondered if she was lonely, too.

As you ate, Bethany took the patron’s order. From where you sat, his voice was a mumble. “You got it!” Bethany said before breezing away.

You glanced up from your food at the patron. Hair dyed blond, dark brown at the roots. He had a gentle face and a mouth made for smiling or furtively suppressing them. Tattoos were stippled on his arm all the way down to his knuckles. He was staring down at his phone, his fingers were slender and embellished with many silver rings. He was impossibly handsome. A paragon of beauty.

And he looked up. Right at you. Why was it at that moment you happened to notice him, he decided to notice you, too?

Your scalp prickled with hot embarrassment. You immediately averted your eyes back to your waffles. There was only a bite remaining. Good. You could finish, get your check, pay, and leave.

Boldly, you chanced another glimpse. He did, too. This time, a smile, broad and lovely, stretched across his face. It was endearing and intimate and you had never felt so seen. It was exhilarating. A small smile crept onto your mouth. You couldn’t help it. His smile was contagious.

This was how the following hour went. Weighted glances and secret smiles from across the room. He received his food, and he picked up his plate and mug of coffee and…was he coming this way?

You watched him, eyes wide, as he sauntered over to your booth and set his items on your table. “May I sit?” he said. His voice was the perfect match to his face. Smooth, sonorous, soft. Crushed velvet.

Jerkily, like you had never done it before, you nodded. He sat. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” you replied.

“I’m Jungkook.”

You told him your name. He repeated it once, twice, thrice. Like he enjoyed the feel of it in his mouth, rolling it around like a piece of hard candy he didn’t want to dissolve on his tongue just yet. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He reached his hand over the table. You smiled and shook it.

His plate was piled with pancakes and sausages and scrambled eggs. He dug in. In between bites, he asked, “So what brings you here at this time of night?” “I have trouble sleeping. And you?” Your chest was tight with the awkwardness of it all, but he appeared to be perfectly at ease.

“I’m just a night owl. Or I’m a vampire.” He shrugged nonchalantly as he continued eating.

Surprisingly, laughter bubbled from you until you couldn’t help the giggles that shook you. How long had it been since you had a conversation with anyone? Your store had been a drought for the past month, only a couple of people coming in a day. You didn’t call home because your parents would ask how you’ve been, and that topic lit a fire in your skull. Bethany was just a waitress doing her job. And Nora was always busy. It was refreshing to have someone sit with you. Talk with you. Want to be near you.

His eyes danced at the sound of your laughter. It was an innocuous expression, boyish in how pure it was.

You covered your mouth with your hands to mask the laughter. And he gently grabbed your wrist and removed them. “I like your laugh.”

Butterflies unfurled their wings in your stomach and fluttered in a frantic cluster. He resumed his meal as if nothing happened. “So what do you do?”

You cleared your throat. “I own a used book and record store downtown. It’s small and kind of hidden from the street, but it’s there.” You chuckled nervously. You were proud of that store, but you might have to close it down soon and return to your hometown with your tail tucked in between your legs if the revenue continued as it did.

His eyebrows shot up. “Wow. That’s super cool. I like records. Books, not so much. Where is it located?”

You told him the address. “By that bodega on the corner.”

“The one that sells the really good blue raspberry shaved ice?”

You snapped your fingers. “That’s the one.”

“I’ll definitely have to stop by.”

This was how the next few hours went. Talking about everything and nothing. He had lived in the city his entire life, worked as a freelance artist, had an apartment not too far away. Plates had been swept away by Bethany long ago. Refills poured, drained, and poured again.

And then, “Do you maybe want to get out of here? Kick it at my place?” Jungkook asked. His expression was open and genuine.

You didn’t know if that was a good idea. But talking to him was stimulating and you didn’t want it to end.

He noticed your hesitation. “Turn you location on your phone, I’ll even give you my address so you can send it to your friends. Anything to make you feel comfortable.”

He was right. He didn’t live that far. It was barely past five o’ clock in the morning, the city was still awake, billboards alight. The buildings towered, dark against the predawn blue of the sky. The apartment building was modest and typical of the city. Clean and affordable but just expensive enough to be appealing to a specific demographic of college students and those with decent enough jobs. His apartment was on the third floor and was charming with brick walls and high ceilings. There was a bookshelf packed with vinyl records, even more in milk crates. A record player in pristine condition sat on an end table beside an armchair.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Jungkook said, shrugging off his jacket and hanging it on a hook beside the front door.

“You said you liked records,” you replied, browsing his collection.

“I did.”

“This isn’t liking records. This is a goddamn treasure trove.” You pushed your hair behind your ear, eager to move it from your face. “Bowie, Billie Holiday, Bob Dylan, Prince. You even have a rare version of Hendrix’s Electric Ladyland. With the naked women! This is incredible.”

He laughed. “I see you are a woman of taste.”

“If only my dad could see this. I’m afraid to touch anything.”

“I’m sure you don’t have clumsy hands with records. Since you have a record store and all.”

You laughed. “I appreciate the trust.”

“So what would you like to listen to?”

You mulled it over, taking your time examining the sleeves of the records. Then you found one.

He smiled when you showed him the cover art. “Perfect.”

Frank Ocean’s Blond. A modern classic. Perfect for the liminal hour of five AM.

Jungkook slipped it from its sleeve, fingers on the slim rounded edges of the record. He carefully settled it on the turntable, placed the needle on the disc, and played the album. There was the classic crackle of vinyl, and then the first track emanated. It was a phantasm of sound, rich and ethereal. Light but weighted. The song was the deep blue of the sky before the sun decided to pull itself above the horizon and emblazon the sky with its myriad of colors. It was the perfect song for this liquid moment that felt like a dream. This beautiful stranger standing before you with his incredible collection.

And then you were in Jungkook’s arms, slowly swaying to the music. You smiled up at him and him down at you.

The album continued on in the living room, serenading to no one. You and Jungkook had moved to the bedroom, lounging on the bed. The horizon blushed peach, casting the room in half-light. You both lay on your backs, him with an arm slung casually behind his head, you with your hands folded delicately on your stomach.

“Thank you for paying for my meal today,” you said to him meekly.

He smiled. “Thank you for the great conversation. And having an amazing taste in music.”

You laughed. “What made you come sit with me anyway?”

That was when he looked at you, his mouth still slung in a smile, but his eyes sincere. “Because you’re beautiful.”

Your cheeks went hot and you giggled nervously, covering it with your hands. He rolled over and carefully removed them, his eyes on yours. For a brief moment, time was still. Your breath caught in your throat. He was so close. His lips were so close. Your noses were just barely brushing. His voice was husky when he said, “I like your laugh.”

And then he kissed you.

In the living room, Frank Ocean sang about nights and new beginnings.

In the bedroom, you and Jungkook were breathless. Hands on thighs. Hands in hair. Teeth on collarbones. It was a innocent hunger, one that never got too peckish. He was careful with you, didn’t dare to remove your clothes. “I like you,” he breathed into your neck. You gasped at the sensation.

You kissed until you both eventually succumbed to sleep, the morning sun pouring drowsy golden light across the room.

It was well into the afternoon when you woke to the sound of a shower running. The room was unfamiliar. Definitely not your barren apartment with the boxes strewn about the place. And you definitely weren’t on your living room mattress tangled amongst its waves of sheets. The bed you were in was the most comfortable you’ve ever experienced. Brick walls, plants, beautiful abstract canvas paintings leaning against the wall. Then you remembered.

The diner. The vinyl collection. The sunrise. The kiss.

Jungkook.

He was in the shower and you were fully dressed and the night had to have been a dream. But it wasn’t. Reality settled back onto your shoulders in agonizing waves. You were hours late opening the store. But oh, you wanted to burrow into these soft, sweet-smelling sheets and dissolve into nothing. Eventually you got up.

The door to the bathroom was open. You thought about telling him you were leaving, but instead, you drew your name and number into the mirror steam and went home to shower and change yourself.

An entire week went by and he never called. He didn’t return to the diner, either. It hurt. Every time you lay on your side, willing yourself to sleep, the phantom feeling of his hands and lips barreled you at such an unwelcome rush you would gasp. None of it was real. You had to keep telling yourself that. None of it was real.

Life went back to normal. Jungkook was a fleeting daydream that sifted in and out of your thoughts. The store still barely got any customers, except for the same two or three crate diggers who visited like ghosts. And then Nora, your best friend, breezed through the door. She was a city girl through and through. Large sunglasses, the omnipresent iced coffee, the expensive wardrobe curated specifically for being in front of a camera. She was partly why you moved here. The two of you were from the same hometown, and she had escaped first to chase the tail of a fashion designer career.

“Move here!” she had said during a phone call. “You’ll love it. You’re super hipster and this city eats that shit up! And you can open up that record and book store you always dreamed of.”

She wasn’t wrong. You loved this city but this city seemed to not love you back. Now, she pushed her sunglasses up into her hair and set her iced coffee on the counter top before you. You were sitting behind the register, feet up and reading a book when she had come in. You looked up from the paperback in your hands. “And what have I done to deserve your presence, Your Highness?”

“Good morning, dork! We’re going to a party.”

You kicked your feet down. Slipped a bookmark in the book and closed it. And you simply said, “No.”

She blinked, her smile stiff. “Why not?”

“You know I have to open this place every single morning. I can’t go to a party and get drunk and miss another opening.”

“Stop making this store your entire life.”

“It is my entire life.”

“Well, live another one. Just for one night.” She clasped her hands together and actually pouted. “Please.”

You sighed. “You don’t have anyone else to go with?”

She perked up and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Oh, I do. I just want you to go with me. I want you to have fun for once. All you’ve done since you been here was work.”

Every single dollar and penny from your savings went to this store. It was your lifelong dream. And Nora—lovely, naïve Nora—had never needed to work for anything a day in her life. She meant well. She was never intentionally ignorant. But that didn’t make it any less frustrating.

She also didn’t know of your time with Jungkook. It was embarrassing that he never called. It angered you that he called you beautiful and said he liked you only for it all to be false. Thank goodness you didn’t have sex with him.

“I’ll have fun once I’m a millionaire or something,” you said to Nora.

She huffed. “I can find you someone to cover the shop for the night. You won’t even have to pay them. Please just come with me.”

“No. What if they steal something.”

She stared at you flatly. “Do you really think any of my friends—my friends—would steal? Let alone steal any of this stuff? No offense.”

“Why do you want me to go so badly?”

“I already said. Fun. You know, music, drinks, guys.” She sang the last word and accompanied it with a little shimmy.

“I have plenty of music and I can buy my own drinks.”

She slammed her hand against the counter top, startling you. “Stop being fucking difficult and come have some fun with me.”

So, grudgingly, you went. Albeit late because you didn’t trust anyone else to close the shop for you, but you went nonetheless. Nora did your makeup. Just glitter eyeshadow and a little eyeliner because you insisted you didn’t want much. And she picked out your outfit—a black lace bra, a crop top cardigan, and a pair of white shorts.

“Because I can’t dress myself?” you grumbled, sliding on the clothes.

“Exactly that. You dress too…hipster-y. You need to be hot for tonight.”

You hadn’t worn that bra since you dated Namjoon. He was pretentious and arrogant and such a city boy it made you lightheaded. You met when he waltzed into the store shortly after you moved here. He smiled at you and you practically melted. The books were what he came for. He bought a Russian classic novel and at checkout, he discussed with you the allegory of sharing fruit in literature. He was eloquent and intelligent and so damn gorgeous you fell for him in that same moment. He scribbled his number on the receipt and told you to keep it.

The relationship lasted for four months. He suggested you move into his high rise apartment downtown with him. It was a modern edifice, all glass and steel and money. He was the wealthiest person you had ever met in your life. And, stupidly, you were in love.

And then you saw his text messages with some unfairly beautiful girl he followed on social media about how good she looked in his bed . He said he was lonely, that you worked too much, what else was he supposed to do? Needless to say, you left him. And you hadn’t seen him since.

Now, Nora said to you, “And don’t think about wearing those fucking platform boots.”

“Why not?” you said, frowning. “They’re cute.”

“They look ridiculous. Like those boots that one goth girl from that cartoon you like wore.”

You grinned, mischievous. “That’s exactly why I bought them.”

To Nora’s dismay, you wore the fucking platform boots.

The party was in an underground venue. It wasn’t all red wine and an elaborate excuse to brag about money, like the gatherings Namjoon liked, it was edgy. A live band played pop punk on a stage, the lights in the place were dim save for the spotlights and the white Christmas lights behind the bar. Greasy pizza and liquor and neon lights. You brushed elbows with someone smoking a joint, and you were pretty sure someone was doing coke in the bathroom.

Nora pulled you to the bar where she ordered herself a cocktail and you a craft beer. She knew you so well.

There were so many people here. You mentally kicked yourself for not bringing flyers for your store.

And then you saw him. Nora was talking your ear off about how hot the frontman for the band was and you almost choked on your beer.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you spat.

Nora blinked rapidly. “What? What happened?”

“This is why you brought me here. You cunt.” You didn’t mean to call her that. It wasn’t a word worn with frequent use in your vocabulary. In fact, you hated the word. But it was deserved in this situation.

Namjoon. He was standing near the stage with a craft beer of his own in his hand, bobbing his head to the music. He didn’t like places like this. They were tacky to him. He didn’t even listen to this genre of music. What the hell was he doing here?

The girl standing next to him turned to him and smiled. She was wearing lipstick as red as murder and her bob was so black it reflected the lights with an envious luster. She had a septum piercing, the two silver balls glittering in the low light like two tiny stars. That’s when it clicked. He was here because of her. She was that unfairly beautiful girl in his text messages. Your skin felt incandescent.

“He had to see how hot you are. I thought you would enjoy shoving that in his face.” Lovely, naïve Nora. You wanted to slap her.

You stood from the bar stool and set your craft beer on the bar. “I’m leaving now.”

Her face was slack with regret. Before she could form an apology, you turned and walked away.

You were a few moments from the door when you heard your name. It wasn’t Nora. You stopped and your breath hitched. Your turned slowly, preparing to see Namjoon with that girl by his side but instead—

“Jungkook?”

His hair was black now and almost as shiny as that girl’s bob. It hung past his ears in gentle waves. He stood there in a baggy black shirt and jeans, his thumbs tucked into the front pockets. Silver bracelets draped from both wrists. In this lighting, he looked ethereal. Infernal. This couldn’t be the same man you shared a chimerical morning with. He looked like he had been created by the darkness of the city’s nights.

Maybe it was just the hair.

“Hi,” he said in the same way he did when he sat your table at the diner. It could’ve been mistaken as sheepishness, but his eyes were not meek. Besides the hair, you couldn’t figure out what was so different about him.

Breathlessly, you said, “Hi.”

“You look nice.”

Over his shoulder, you noticed Namjoon go to the bar. Nora scowled at him. He smiled amicably at her and his mouth moved, saying something. She froze, and her eyes immediately darted to you. Namjoon turned and saw you. And he started your way.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked.

You should’ve ran out of the venue. There were a million other things you should’ve done, but instead you grabbed Jungkook and kissed him.

Initially, he went rigid with shock, but he melted into the kiss. You felt him smile against your mouth. “Miss me that much?”

You pulled away. “I did not.” A glance over his shoulder and Namjoon was gone. You audibly exhaled.

“What happened?”

You ran a hand over your face. “Ex.”

“Ah,” he said. “Is that why you were leaving?”

“Yes. And now I’m going. Goodbye.” You whirled around, shoulders tense with embarrassment and headed for the stairs.

“Wait.” He caught up to you on the stairs. “Can I go with?” There were small white string lights strung in the stairwell and the glow reflected in his eyes. They were so brown.

“Don’t you have friends to be with?” Your phone buzzed in your back pocket with an incoming text message. Most likely your own friend dying to know who the guy you just kissed was. You ignored it.

“They’ll be fine.” He grinned.

“Okay,” you said, feeling yourself smile as well.

There was no destination, but you ended up at a park, sitting beside each other on a swing set. Your feet dragged in the wood chips as you pushed yourself back and forth slowly. He looked up at the night sky and sighed. “Do you want to know why I hadn’t called?”

You just looked at him.

“This may sound like a corny excuse, but… I was afraid of what you would think of me.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

He hesitated before saying, “If we continued seeing each other, you would eventually find out that I’m not a freelance artist. I do paint, but that’s not what I do.”

You could feel your heartbeat gradually speeding its pace. “What do you do?” His eyes fell down to his hands. He turned them over, studying the lines in his palms. His hair slipped over his eyes. He was a portrait of affliction. “I’m a Lost Boy.”

You didn’t understand. He noticed your silence and looked up at you. “The Lost Boys. This city is practically run by them.” He corrected himself, “Ran by us.” He stopped, closed his eyes, and sighed. “I’m in a gang.”

Your voice was a whisper. “What?”

He quickly added, “If you no longer want to associate with me, I understand. They’re—we’re—dangerous. I mean, even if you haven’t heard of us, you know us. The leather jackets, the vandalism, the fights. That venue is owned by us. The drugs at that event were supplied by us. That band playing is in our pockets. My apartment is paid by dirty money.” He laughed quietly to himself then, almost pityingly.

The night air around you was thick with your own dread. “Is being around you dangerous?” You hadn’t meant for your voice to sound so small.

“I won’t hurt you, if that’s what you’re asking.” You could hear the unsaid “but” in his tone.

“But what?” you prompted.

He chewed on his lip. A dimple in his left cheek appeared. “I won’t hurt you, but I can’t promise your safety. If you do decide to be around me.”

#bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook fanfic #kpop #bts fanfic #kpop fanfic #bts jeon jungkook

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kentzarneki · 3 years

Text

garden of loneliness —

pairing: prince aerin x irileth nightbloom (f!elf mc)

synopsis: aerin and irileth remember each other in their dreams, both good and bad until they meet again.

word count: 2.7k

song: war of hearts — ruelle

author’s note: yeah, this has been in my drafts for months like around when blades ended. and it changed from the original version i made, so enjoy this new one and happy epilogue day. (also you should definitely listen to the song)

tags: @bladesappreciationweek @zadiechoi @eugenehartmann @diamondskys @beaumontbash @diserrano @jaxmatsuo

Aerin was always a lonely child.

Such was the life of a second child. Years spent being left out of your parent’s expectations and being taught that you’d only be needed as the last option. For the longest time, there’s nothing but darkness and the fear that maybe that’s all there is to life. Darkness, deep and inviting like the warm embers of a dying fire. Mesmerizing, but you stand still at the thought of getting burned. And fear, for most, it feels like nothing but a cold and lonely bed for your entire life. Like chills down your spine and nails down a chalkboard.

However, that's not how it was for him. No, Aerin knew what his darkness was. He had spent years nurturing it like a mother would a child, he cared for it, loved it even. The cold abyss that pulsed where his heart should. His heart was a different shape than most.

It was the imposing figure of his brother’s shadow and the heavyweight upon his head called the second prince’s crown. He knew this was this life, it’s what he was born into. Forever forced to play his role as the meek younger brother with a smile on his face. The spare prince. He could never be more than that, it’s what he was made to believe.

So he played his role with care. A smile here and there, until the shadows came along. Shadows wrapped in velvet cloaks and wore masks of sinister smiles. Made of something like a dream come true created back when he still had dreams to spare. A Duke of the shadows granted him everything he could ever want - his own kingdom, a place he could finally belong. It awaited him beyond the realm, but to get there he needed to collect the keys.

He turned into a Grim Reaper of souls, ambition, and body. His reverse Midas touch, where everything he touched turned to the darkness. The hands that once wiped his tears stole lost souls and bid them into his desires. Which led him here, deep beneath the halls of a palace he grew up in. All the time he could see his father reigning proceedings of judgment over betrayers and criminals false though his mind, he wonders if his new cell had belonged to one of them.

Often he finds his mind wandering like this, thoughts desperate to keep out of loneliness that crept in as reminders of his youth. On good days, his dreams take him back into the shadows. He dreams of a gilded throne, the blackened shadows of lost souls wander the palace as his subjects that live under the rule of his hand.

On bad days, he dreams of her. The parting kiss before his world, his lies would come crumbling down around them. She stood tall in his dreams, not faltering like the broken girl he had left behind. His words from that night echoed in his mind, “Until the stars align for us again…”.

She was the light. The single candle in the darkness, standing tall even in a broken house, the damaged windows blowing harsh air inside. Still never faltering, never bowing out. He took comfort in the fact she was out there, in the fact that her life had meaning. It brought him a sense of peace he never had before. The kind of peace that comes with love.

She was as beautiful as the flowers, in the garden he had grown up around. She stole the spotlight from the moon and held its light in her smile. She was everything he could ever want and more.

But not really, no. He knew the truth of what he wanted - what he was. The monster within, the one that seemed to tamed just from the flicker of her smile. He knew it would destroy her.

He would destroy her.

ii.

Irileth was always a loving child.

It started with her parents, a love so deep for someone she had never known. Grief buried deep in her chest that acted like poisonous fertilizer to the flowers that had grown in her heart. It was a garden she had kept locked for most of her life despite her never-ending desire to be loved.

Which led to a young boy, the prince built from broken dreams to her door. His presence holding the key to what seemed like her salvation, a place to lay down all this love she’d been holding within herself. He was the empty chalice just begging to be overflowing with devotion, the only kind of devotion she couldn’t seem to give up.

Yet, she couldn’t stop thinking that it was real. Even a fraction of what he’d said, false charm hidden behind a stone in his chest. It had to be real. She thought back on his words, sickeningly sweet like raw syrup. She’d lapped up every word that dripped from his mouth like a dog, ravenous for something she’d never had. Love. The hungry, orphaned girl begging to be loved by the boy with everything. She took table scraps of his devotion and tokens of his affection all laced with dark deceit.

Still, there’s love there. Mixed into his secrets and lies, not everything could be lost to the shadows and she’d go to war if she had to just to prove it. But, still, she’s holding onto hope that if she finds the right words she can save him. She could have saved him.

The memories find her in the dark, all of her nightmares trace back to him. The shadows singing in the air, something dark and twisted as if it was a melody to grant false serenity. There was no serenity in her dreams, nothing but shadows threatening to chase her from the dark places they’d hidden as they waited to strike. There was no serenity, but there was love. Love deep within her, it gripped her and told her heart that it was here to stay.

Her words bounce around in her head, “Aerin, all I want is to be with you.”.

And when she wakes tears are threatening to spill from her eyes, and she lets in a deep breath. It was the truest thing she’d ever meant because even this way he still looked like the boy she loved. But she needed to save him, save him from himself - or from the world who would never accept him like this.

She took a timid step forward and he didn't do anything, but his eyes locked hard onto hers. His face is stoic as if he didn’t want to let any emotions show. The look of fear that filled her face when she first saw him like this - as a monster, it was stuck in his head. This wasn’t new. He always was a monster. Sickly grey, black veins stretching out as if to carve his skin into marble. Marble - what a perfect thing, easily carved into a sculpture. Something to turn into art, which is how she saw him even like this.

“You’d still have me? Even as I am?” His voice whispers in her dreams.

Every night, she watches as he’s dragged away to the dungeons below and wonders if she would ever see him again. His face was twisted with rage, as he pulled him away still when his eyes locked on hers, she could see the pain. His heartbreak.

In her daydreams. she sees him again. Hands touching his, her fingertips black to the touch as their skins touch. Her warm skin turning cold as a curse washes over her like waves on the shore, her skin the color as asphalt and veins like cracks in the pavement that hold a dark secret only she could home.

She could have him. Sickly grey, broken, and bruised but all her’s. The spare prince that no one had wanted, the lost girl that no one had found could build a kingdom to tear the world to shreds. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to dive into the darkness that lived within him. Not yet.

And she left wondering, how do you let go of a love you were never able to experience? Maybe they were meant to be, maybe not in this life but the next. Because time is still passing by and she still thinks about him each time she looks up at the sky. It’s like she’s waiting to see him in the stars, where he’s more than just a memory in her heart and he’s right there in every passing face.

There’s no shadow that could ever replace him.

iii.

The dungeon was always a lonely place.

The shadows sang in the air, something dark and twisted as if it was a melody to grant false serenity. There was no serenity down here, nothing but shadows threatening to chase her from the dark places they’d hidden as they waited to strike. There was no serenity, but there was love. Love deep within her, it gripped her and told her heart that it was here to stay. To stay for him.

So her feet carry her in, being here in person was nothing like her dreams. She hadn’t needed to ask where he was before going in. She’s told the poor king she needed closure. A small smile tugged at his lips when he heard this, he understood the feeling well.

She can hear his footsteps before she even rounds the corner, he’s pacing around like if he does it enough the endless time he spends trapped down her might cease to exist. But that wasn’t entirely the case, no, it was true he was much like a shark. Circling around its prey, constantly on the move because it didn’t know how to rest. The inevitable truth that slowing down, the resting, meant death.

“So you’ve finally come to see me?”

His voice breaks through her thoughts, his eyes zoned on her like a hawk and even in the dark she could still see the dark brown glow in them of the boy that she loves.

“Why?”

“Because I care about you.” It’s spoken like a fact, but only one of them knows it to be true. The heavy chains around his wrists remind him that what she says might not be entirely true. At least not to him.

“Still?”

“Yes.” She swallows hard, he watches the motion slowly. Watching for any signs of deception, he knew her well enough to see the sadness behind her eyes that seemed to grow deeper with every step she took near him. “You were - You are the only thing I wanted.”

“No,” He shakes his head. “No. Not me.” His hands shake, downplayed rage paints his face. “I have always been this way. This dark, grey creature in the hollowed-out shell of a prince who never was.”

He was right. Whoever he was then, whoever he was pretending to be. That wasn’t him, not entirely. He’d always been dark. Always been corrupt, he loved the darkness so much you’d think his soul had been grown there.

“You may not have loved who I truly was, but you loved me.”

He speaks gently, words so compassionate you could almost forget they’d fallen out of the mouth from the same boy who’s betrayed her.

“There’s a darkness in you.” Tender are the words that come from a boy who’s never known love, the boy who fought tooth and nail against the only one who had ever loved him. Loves him. “I don’t know how it got there, but I can feel it. You can set it free.”

If he was a fortress, then she was a glasshouse. So easy to look inside, to peer through a window, and know exactly what lies inside. He could practically see the way her heart beats for him, but he could also see how it hurts.

Because while he looks on the inside, she’s focused on the view. Brown curls stuck to his forehead that her hands ache to push back, skin the color of ash that washes away the memory of his once rosy-toned cheeks.

“Aerin, I am not like you.”

“You never were a good liar, Irileth.”

Their names slip from each other’s mouths like they’ve been holding in months, gliding off their tongues in such a charming tone they nearly missed the way they had flinched once one said it. The sting of betrayal spelled out both their names in one another’s mind. So she holds her tongue, knowing he’d never believe what she’d have to say to defend herself.

“I did not come all this way just to lose, but I won’t lose you either.”

“Haven’t you already?”

The sound of shackles breaks the reprieve built around them, the air grows stale as it’s ripped from her lungs. Aerin lifts his hands slow, wrapping the bars that separated the two like a cavern.

“Didn’t you lose me when you helped haul me into here?”

Shadows seemed to seep around her like the branching of a weeping willow, hiding her shame.

“I had no choice.”

“There’s always a choice, you chose this.”

“That is not fair. You chose this, over me.” Tears prick at the corner of her eyes, an unfortunate thing about her. The way her emotions threatened to spill over the floor and drown them both. “You did. This darkness.”

The gesture is vague but her arms swing wide, another sign of the difference between them. She was free to move as she pleased.

“It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“It does. I cannot change.”

“I'm not asking you to.” She knew he couldn’t, there was no longer a good bone in his body. There was never a place for one.

“I cannot pretend like this darkness doesn’t live in you, and I also cannot pretend as if I can save you. There is no saving what was never lost.” He’d belong to the shadows since the day he’d arrived on their Earth.

“But I will not be without you.”

Her hand slips between the bars. A tap, tap of a metal key — once, then twice against a bar. She slips through the heavy door that had been keeping them apart, the final step that leads her to jump into the deep end.

“I will have a home beside you. In the shadows.”

Shackles slip-free, falling heavily against the floor. And all at once, he’s on her. Lips on lips, shuddering close against his skin, and eyes pressed shut just hard enough to try to remember what this had felt like before. When his skin was warm, gentle hands touched her cheek beside a moonlit river.

Violent darkness creeping in on every corner, the shadows whisper sweet desires of a glorious promise land and the wind blows down her back like nails on a chalkboard.

That’s all there is at first, not the lack of light beside her lids but enveloping her through his kiss. Fear is freezing rain dripping down her back and drops shivers down her spine that he soothes away with a caress. Shadows flood her veins and her blood no longer flows crimson, inky dark lines dance down her skin like that of a predator. She is born again, born anew, his devilish grin traces over every onyx vein, scraping across her skin like branches on a tree. Shadows whipped and wrapped around them, holding them close and holding them together. A king with his queen.

There is a garden in their kingdom, there’s a single weeping willow tree with breaking branches that snap like bones in the night and it’s filled with thorns spread through the field threatening to prick anything that comes near. But under the tree there’s a single flower, it’s pale under the moonlight you could also miss the pink glimmer on it that matches Irileth’s skin.

When the moon is full they take a stroll, thorns let them pass and the branches part as if it’s offering a welcoming hug back home. The King and Queen of Shadows stroll through whispering cries of poor, lost souls and listen to the haunting melodies creep into their bones under the touch of one another’s embrace.

They aren’t lonely anymore.

#aerin valleros #prince aerin #blades of light and shadow #bolas #blades #bladesaw #aerin x mc #playchoices #mine: writing

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ingek73 · 3 years

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Prince Harry’s Savvy Media Pivot

His Apple TV+ show and recent media appearances are clear attempts to establish a new public image as a relatable dad in therapy.

By Elamin Abdelmahmoud

Posted on May 28, 2021, at 1:58 p.m. ET

Courtesy of Apple

Prince Harry in his new docuseries, The Me You Can't See

The opening moments of Prince Harry’s appearance on a May episode of Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast give us good insight into the royal’s new life as a public figure in the US. You get the impression that the Duke of Sussex was still settling into his seat when he casually asks his host, “What do you think about Joe Rogan’s comments [about vaccines]?” He’s referring to Rogan’s inane advice to young men not to take the COVID-19 vaccine.

Shepard somewhat dodges the question. For Shepard, the comments are “ridiculous, obviously,” but he sees where Rogan is coming from. “[Rogan’s position is] ‘I fucking call fights. I’m an MMA announcer. I’m not Fauci,’” Shepard says. He concludes that he agrees “with both sides.” Harry pushes back: “[Rogan] says, ‘Don’t listen to me,’ but it’s like, well, Don’t say that.”

The exchange sets up the rest of the episode as a sort of laid-back chat — Harry comes off as unguarded and off-the-cuff, your smart friend riffing on current news stories. Only it’s not your smart friend — it’s Prince Harry, a figure who’s been in the spotlight since he was born. He’s accustomed to being the most-watched person in the room even without a camera present. So it’s hard to imagine he didn’t know the microphone was on, that the show wasn’t already rolling when he started his riffing. But he pulls off the unfiltered vibe in a smooth and unassuming way. And it’s this casual cool that is the story of Prince Harry’s reinvention right now.

Harry has been in the news because he’s an executive producer (and central figure) alongside Oprah, in a new docuseries about mental health on Apple TV+, called The Me You Can’t See. He’s on the cover of People magazine for it. And this week, the docuseries is following up its five episodes with “a special town hall” featuring Harry, Oprah, Glenn Close, and experts who will continue the conversation the show started on mental health.

On The Me You Can’t See, Harry is compelling, charming, and heartbreaking. He is forthcoming about details of the by-now-familiar story of how he and Meghan Markle left life as working royals to move to the US. He becomes emotional frequently — as he did when he told Oprah that Meghan didn’t act on her suicidal ideation because she didn’t want him to lose another woman he loved.

He is relatable, too, asserting that, “like so many people my age, I know that I’m not going to get from my family what I need” (same, my guy). The 36-year-old royal speaks with authority and precision on mental health and trauma. He is unvarnished when it comes to talking about the dark periods of his life.

Watching him at work in The Me You Can’t See, it’s hard not to admire what he’s pulled off: a total and complete pivot to a new kind of social currency. After all, Harry was “cool” in a very different way not long ago. He had a reputation for being a “bad boy,” the iconoclast within a stodgy family, the wild one who takes it too far, or parties naked in Vegas, or...whatever this is.

But in a moment still in search of new definitions for masculinity — ones that do not rely on machismo and bravado and showing off — somehow, Prince Harry is here to deliver. He’s out here evangelizing therapy and the virtues of getting help when you need it. He makes taking care of your mental health seem like the in thing to do. He’s joining the ranks of men like Nick Jonas, Michael Phelps, and Dax Shepard himself who are embracing a refreshing approach to their own mental health struggles.

Harpo Productions / Joe Pugliese via Getty Images

Oprah Winfrey interviews Prince Harry and Meghan Markle on a CBS primetime special, which aired on March 7, 2021.

Before his move to the US, Prince Harry’s identity was deeply intertwined with life as a working royal. That meant the public's engagement with his choices was limited to that realm: Was he doing the job, or was he failing at it? This is not to say people didn’t have strong feelings about his identity, only that he had little say in the matter.

But with the move to California, Harry’s celebrity posture has changed. He has comfortably slipped into a decidedly American version of celebrity, relying on a more personal story to grow his platform. He invoked the tragedies of his past to powerful effect. He shared that his years of unhealthy alcohol and drug use were the darkest of his life. When he and Meghan launched their nonprofit, Archewell, they wrote, “I am my mother’s son. And I am our son’s mother. Together we bring you Archewell.” The story may be familiar, but they are the ones doing the telling. The power has radically shifted.

In his new mode of celebrity, Harry’s not exactly reimagining the wheel. We’re living in a potent moment of the multihyphenate celebrity — Barack Obama makes podcasts with Bruce Springsteen (?) while Michelle Obama makes Netflix shows (??); Beyoncé sells athleisure (???); the Clintons are writing novels (????). Harry and Meghan have a well-established trail to follow, and they’re doing so enthusiastically (including a Spotify deal and a Netflix one, because why not!).

Piece their moves together and you’ve got the makings of an all-encompassing “brand,” the kind every celebrity is expected to have now. And with this type of public profile, the expectations are that you are to be judged on your public choices. Who are you aligning yourself with? What shows are you appearing on? What are the subject matters you want to elevate over others?

And this is why the Rogan comment is important. The MMA announcer/podcast host/professional “just-asking-questions” guy has, for myriad reasons only some of which are under his control, become shorthand for an old-school story of masculinity. He is understood as rugged and assertive, a tough guy’s tough guy.

In other words, Rogan is a natural foil to the story Harry is trying to tell right now. Even the prince’s choice of media is telling. Before his Armchair Expert appearance, his significant sit-down interviews were with James Corden and Oprah, interviewers who reach broad audiences. Turning to Shepard, a figure whose public identity is propelled by vulnerability about addiction and mental health issues, signals that Harry wants to be included in the conversation about changing masculinity.

The prince is building a public narrative on the idea that the old ways of being a man are not working. He presents himself as living proof that flying an Apache helicopter is cool, but facing your inner demons is cooler. ●

#prince harry #duke of sussex #buzzfeed

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tobeornottotc · 3 years

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Gen Y Ep 1-9; Obligations and Want An analysis of the Love Triangle

You know those couples that you can't help but want to break down and analyse despite knowing you're a clown and you know it probably isn't that deep. But if it is confirmed later on that your suspicions were valid, then you would absolutely have that show become your favourite? Gen Y is like that for me. It has a cute straight forward main couple with Mark and Kit, but their story and plot aren't the main focus of the show.

An introduction to Gen Y

The main focus is on the events that transpire in episode 1, immediately the love of his life dumps Mark's best friend, Wayu. Now, Gen Y is meant to a be parody/ fan fiction based on 2 Moons the series. We know the story of Wayu's lover and how they came to be. They were one of the biggest and most loved couples in BL. So this is interesting when we see that Pa leaves Wayu without any explanation and is a constant source of confusion and pain throughout the rest of the show. What makes it worse is when Pa decides to keep an eye on Wayu and ensure Wayu is alright, he proceeds to send in his best friend/ senior Thanu. And the exciting thing about this is Thanu looks a lot like Pa, tall, handsome, same department, same vibe. Wayu is immediately drawn to Thanu because he reminds him of Pa They both start to be closer to each other, (with the audience confused by if it's romantic or if it's platonic because of the book version of this story shows they're not going to be anything) Thanu to keep his promise to his friend, and Wayu because he sees Pa in Thanu. Basically, Thanu makes him feel closer to Pa, and he feels good and distracted by Thanu's presence.

Now the worst thing about all of this is that Thanu and Wayu have chemistry, but the audience is led to believe that they're meant to be more of a bait and not a real thing. Basically, the production team confirmed that these two weren't going to be together. Instead, Thanu was meant to have a relationship or loveline with a soulmate trope with Phai and Pa was going to return back to the show to explain himself probably and these two were probably meant to become the main couple storyline in season 2. Fair enough, that's an interesting premise. Except I can't help but think we're being trolled. It doesn't make sense. Because when you actually focus on the plotline that is Thanu and Wayu, you can see they're clearly falling hard for each other. Let me explain in more detail in both their perspectives. And why it's actually not confusing when you piece everything together for their episode 9 separation.

Wayu: The jilted

Wayu is heartbroken because of his devotion to his ex-boyfriend of a long time. Now if you remember 2Moons which this story is based on kind of, Wayu and Pa had a really intense, dramatic love story where both of them were utterly devoted to each other. Pa was Wayu's prince charming out of everyone and the only person that mattered to Wayu. Pause, when Wayu is broken up with Pa, Wayu doesn't want to move on from Pa because he can't; basically, no one else will ever move his heart like that until Thanu shows up. Now at first Wayu latches unto Thanu (from their first meeting when he hugs his back and thinks he's Pa) because of his similarities to his ex and his presence reminds him of his ex. At first, that's all it is; he can't help but be comfortable and reliant on Thanu to distract him and give him information about Pa's whereabouts. In doing so, he slowly starts to care for Thanu and is still unable to let go of Pa. Pause again. There are moments wherein his pain and sadness, Wayu uses the similar presence of Thanu to mistake him for Pa thus their kiss/ almost kiss in episode 8 when he's crying about Pa leaving him. But as we look deeper, we see that it's more than that.

Wayu likes and is falling for Thanu, and it's not a bait, they're something. Wayu is protective over Thanu and enjoys being in his presence. They both make each other smile, and they both want to be around each other. Plus there's this natural tension with them since the first time they met not because of the Pa thing, but they get nervous and scared when they're with each other, they lean close and find themselves staring longingly at each other's lips and more. They're physically and emotionally attracted to each other, and they know it. Wayu slowly gets over Pa when Pa for the last time breaks his heart, in trying to get over that heartbreak Wayu starts to spend more time and attention with Thanu. Which is why we have episode 9, Wayu is betrayed and hurt by the realisation that all that was happening with Thanu was because of Pa again, and was because of obligation not want from Thanu. It broke his heart; you can see it despite the fact that he pretends it doesn't.

He tells Thanu the truth; he may have started off liking him because he reminded him of Pa, but actually, he started liking Thanu for Thanu. He was quick to protect and believe in Thanu even when Padbok was trying to make Thanu a villain. He saw how caring and smart and comforting Thanu could be not Pa. So really Wayu as of now has feelings for Thanu. And is torn between the realisation that he's no longer into his soulmate/person he should be with always, Pa and Thanu his best friend. It's a sticky situation, and that's why he pretended he was okay and told Thanu to find the right one. In a way, he felt like what they had, or what he felt for Thanu wasn't reciprocated because Thanu only stuck by his side because of the obligation to Pa. It also felt probably wrong to fall for Thanu, Pa's best friend, when Pa is meant to be the one for him. The other thing, I wanted to say as well is that he regressed back into thinking that the reason he likes Thanu is because of the similarities he had to Pha. So he pushed down his feelings.

Thanu: The good friend

When Thanu first shows up, we find out he doesn't do love. Like he doesn't know what love is, or what it feels like. Thanu's character dynamic is focused on his loyalty to his friends. Two of his plotlines revolve around this. One includes Pa and Wayu, and the other includes Padbok. In both of these, he has no choice but to betray the friendship despite fighting hard not to. Bear this in mind, when you think about his actions throughout the whole show. He first shows up to Wayu out of obligation; it's because Pa could not explain why he left the love of his life and told Thanu to come to retrieve his belongings.

However, I think people forget one crucial information to know Thanu has liked Wayu for a while; he just didn't know it. He was actually touched and interested in getting to know Wayu because of how Pa described him. He liked who Wayu was, and when he saw Wayu, he said he was exactly as he described him. There's already an intrigue and interest in Wayu's welfare even before Pa asked him to keep an eye on Wayu. Wayu and Thanu have this intensity between them, and they both feel it but push it away, you can see it throughout the whole scenes, I used to think it just baited and fanservice for DunBas, but it wasn't, it was showing you they actually had feelings and chemistry that they noticed but ignored. Because at that moment, Wayu was still not over Pa, and Thanu did not know what love was. Pause.

Before we continue another thing we must notice is that Thanu tries his hardest to be a loyal best friend. He's made a mistake before with Padbok that probably haunts him and makes him feel like a failure/ bad person. He probably swore to himself he'll never end up in another situation where he betrays the trust of a friend. Padbok makes sure he doesn't forget the misunderstanding, and he feels guilty so much to not even try to explain what actually occurred and why he ended betraying him by mistake. This is important to his character. He doesn't want to betray a friend. What would be the worst betrayal apart from falling in love with your best friend's ex-lover who your best friend clearly isn't over? So please take that into account and watch his actions with Wayu.

He clearly felt the same spark, energy and chemistry with Wayu, it both made them act nervous, it made them shifty, and it made them drawn to each other each time they were close. Thanu believes the reason why Wayu is this way is that he sees Pa in him. He says it in episode 9, he knew he was being a replacement for Pa because of his similarities and he was asked to keep an eye on and prevent Wayu from breaking down by Pa. Thing is I think Pa stopped being the reason for why he wanted to be with Wayu. He also admits to this in episode 9, he and Wayu actually had a lot of fun together, they laughed, they spoke profoundly, and they were both worried and wanted to protect each other Pa or no Pa. I think that's important. Wayu's presence started to mean a lot to Thanu who had to confess to Wayu why he started being close to him. You could see in episode 9 he didn't want Wayu to leave he wanted him to know he wanted to be around him. But there are reasons why they can't cross that line

Because he's not even sure if this is love. He doesn't know what that feeling is (he needs to learn about it first with Phai I bet so that he can accept his feelings for Wayu)

Because of his determination not to betray a friend

Because he was also being intrigued and distracted by Phai who he didn't know the reason why.

So he also pushes his feelings down and is determined in episode 10 to give up on the Wayu feelings he started to have. They're not good, and he's not meant to think about Wayu that way, he's not meant to be with Wayu; he's meant to be with Phai.

Pha and Phai -The soulmate problem

Literally, the universe is forcing Phai and Thanu to be together. And whilst this is cute, it's shallow. There's not really a reason for why these two are soulmates, yes they could have a good romance together, and they're both intrigued and drawn to each other enough to be a recurring memory to them. But is that enough reason for why they're soulmates I don't know, with Thanu it is interesting to see him make some bold choice to draw Phai, it shows he's someone exciting and vital to him? It could be love at first sight which is fine, but I feel like with Wayu, there's been this build-up of longing and angst and repressed feelings because he can't be with Wayu in that way. In a way, Wayu challenges Thanu's mindset and character because his goals are being warped because of the messy feelings he's starting to have for Wayu. As a writer, the couple with more development, and more depth and reasons for why they should be together is Thanu and Wayu.

Hear me out they both comfort each other during times of distress, Thanu literally is a comforting presence sent to Wayu for that purpose by Pa. Wayu comforts and takes care of Thanu when he's agitated and triggered by Padbok, they both like being with each other, they can talk deeply about their opinions and feelings like we see in episode 9. They compliment each other, they both make each other smile without meaning to, and they're clearly as I keep on repeating attracted to each other automatically before knowing. Yes, Pa was important for both of them. However, I think Wayu would have still been attracted and drawn to Thanu even without Pa, like the episode where they first meet, later on, they meet again at the cafe, and you can feel the longing, attraction and chemistry from when they look at each other when they bump into each other. I also think Thanu liked Wayu when he heard about his traits and his personality, and I think it's an innate thing not just because of Pa that he wants to take care of Wayu.

I think that's why Kit told him to be careful; he was blurring the lines between what he wanted to do, vs what he felt he should do for Pa. In his head Wayu only wanted Pa, and so it should stay that way. This couple without us knowing it actually has a tremendous angsty plot and it's actually interesting and impressive. But the sad thing about this is we're reverting back to the surface storylines with ThanuPhai and PaWayu at the end of this season. Is it really over for ThanuWayu, or are we being trolled?

Reasons I think we may be being trolled.

DunBas pre this show were asked by the production team to keep up with fanservice. They wanted us to ship and care for them. They wanted us to see their chemistry. Why if they're not going to end up together. It's bizarre when people tell me the producers said they're not end game or a couple in this series. I think that doesn't make any sense with how much the storyline is showing they both fell for each other hard. I feel it's not going to be completed easily in season 1.

Phai and Sandee could be an interesting match. I questioned why people told me that Sandee didn't have any feelings for Phai because, in the book, he doesn't. I questioned it because Phai and Sandee's actors have been a known couple and have acted together romantically in The Moment. They have their own fan base, their own fan service and it didn't make sense to me why they would make us think Sandee had unrequited feelings only to just forget about that once Phai sees Thanu. I don't know why they would choose these two specifically as Phai and Sandee.

There are more depth and storyline for Thanu and Wayu throughout the whole show. Yes in the book it's the same, but Thanu still ends up with Phai but what if we're being trolled what if the writer switched the couple. It's all nice to see the chemistry between DunBas and make Thanu confess that he cares deeply about Wayu and not just because of Pa, to see him actively try and avoid Wayu so he focuses on Phai suggests there's more there than just a platonic relationship. They can't just go back to letting Wayu be sad, and Thanu move on, maybe in the book but that's not the vibes I'm getting from the show.

Pa is coming back, and he's important obviously. His reason for why he left could make or break ThanuWayu. I think that's what I'm going to have to wait to understand. Because right now Pa doesn't seem like a great love interest maybe that's why season 2 will be based on them because it'd be angsty and dramatic once we find out why, but I don't know his actions this whole show has been quite upsetting. I will say that Wayu might not be over him yet since he probably still holds some kind of love for him since he's the one for him or whatever, but isn't it ironic that both Wayu and Thanu find themselves in a predicament. Do they choose to throw away their 'soulmate' the people who they should be with, who the universe wants them to be with or do they choose each other because they are falling for each other. That dilemma makes them again even more in-depth and engaging as a couple.

It would be such a great plot if ThanuWayu still holds their feelings for each other. It'll bring the questions up about what love is really all about, how destiny plays a role in that, and what is required to be a good partner. It also would make the love square even more interesting to keep watching in season 2.

So yeah if it's not apparent. I'm trying really hard to give this ThanuPhai thing a try but with the ridiculous magical system of the world forcing them to be together despite them not even knowing anything about each other doesn't sit well with me. Like yeh, soulmate trope is adorable, but I really need more evidence and reason why they compliment each other. Right now looking into each other's eyes and feeling a spark is not enough for me to want this to be end game. Also, I think there was a foreshadowing in that scene that people will overlook. When they touched hands again, they couldn't see the future they saw before. That's a hint that this on the surface it's not something long-lasting. I think they're both helping each other know what love is, so they recognise their real feelings for the other people by their side.

Not to mention all the foreshadowing this episode that the person he wants is Wayu (the music box represented his heart/desire) and he gave it to Wayu. And the visions he and Phai see are telling us he will choose to date Phai but won’t be able to move on from Wayu but Pa will come back and both of them will be stuck in their respective obligational relationships it doesn’t mean he won’t care about Phai. Also the reason why he and Phai are having a bitter sweet conversation is because his heart is somewhere else with Wayu probably Phai loves him but I’m sure Sandee will be a factor too later in the future. I think all these couples apart from MarkKit were a slow burn and unfortunately I think the directors and screen writer didn’t plan it well because I think people are losing patience with everything in the show. I do like Wayu and Thanu, and Thanu and Phai and if it is as I think it’s being planned, then I’ll actually be into this show more. I still want more dimensional characters that have more than just one personality. And I want Pa back to see his reason

However, because Thanu has never felt this before and Phai has never as well, I guess that has to count for something? But I would have preferred that the show has been secretly misleading us and the plot twist is that ThanuWayu and SandeePhai may be slow burns but the endgame couple. I would believe in that and would watch the drama unfold for the next two seasons of this show. What are you guys thinking? Who are you shipping? What are your reasons? Do you agree with me that we might be getting trolled. I know the book is saying a different thing but even in that, we don't know who Wayu is going to be with it's not been fully completed. I think the DunBas fanservice was done on purpose; the casting was done on purpose even if they say it wasn't. I guess I'll be a clown till the end of this season until Pa shows up and gives me a better reason why he did all of this and why Wayu should go back to him

#gen y the series #gen y #thanu x phai #thanuwayu #dunbas #thai bl #bl series #bl drama #reviews #analysis

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kit-charmont · 2 years

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All my characters start from an emotional core. I look for this as I read through their bio, and if I can connect with it quickly, that is the character I pursue. After that, they tend to be placed within three character archetypes. These are characters with strong internal voices from years past. This helps in moments when maybe their voice is slightly wavering because there is a place I connect back to help with muse (even though these characters can be wildly different from each other).

Name: Kit Charmont

Emotional Core: Perfect posture, lonely, seeking, kindness, restless, a charming smirk (his is a bit more abstract still as I narrow in on what it is I feel in his space of my brain when I write him)

Character Archetype:

Lady: Sophisticated, usually upper crust, surprisingly mischievous

Dot: Upbeat, adventurous, courageous

Anna: Blunt, headstrong, loyal

How I Used the Bio/Movie:

I’m a movie purist, so most of what I get, I got from the original version of the movie. I was lucky enough to have Philip and Florian to compare against, as well, both in the movies and the Walt characters. I made note that while there is an emphasis on fate, or they just run across their love in the wood, Kt’s prince meets Cinderella, she disappears, and he sends out the troops fitting that shoe on every damn foot in the kingdom. He is not a sit and wait kind of guy. Understanding this, looking at his bio, I then had to ask myself, what does that mean for a guy who takes action to be forced to wait? My answer is in that restlessness, the rebelliousness that his bio mentions, and also a gray cloud and a sadness as he just wishes to start his life. He had Ella, he had his kingdom, and now he has nothing and no way to get them.

Constant Truths:

· He wants to help you. It doesn’t matter what happens, if he follows through or not, but he forever wants to help.

· After the night with Ella and not being able to go find her, along with the impending death of his father, Kit is in a depressed state. (Not clinical, simply a prolonged stay in a gray space of his life.)

· He would rather be outside.

Formative Songs:

· Surface Pressure, Jessica Darrow

Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, whoa Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip 'til you just go pop, whoa-oh-oh Give it to your sister, it doesn't hurt And see if she can handle every family burden Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks No mistakes

· The Impossible Year, Panic at the Disco

There's no you and me This impossible year Only heartache and heartbreak And gin made of tears The bitter pill I swallow The scars souvenir That tattoo, your last bruise This impossible year

· Ghost of You, 5 Seconds of Summer

So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house With the ghost of you And I chase it down With a shot of truth That my feet don't dance Like they did with you

#watask

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crystalwillow · 4 years

Text

Let Them Talk

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Casey Valentine (F!MC)

Word Count: 3.4K

Warnings: None. 100% fluff with a tinsy bit of Ethan angst

Tagging: @schnitzelbutterfingers @brycelahelalover @deansmyapplepie @vibrantlyjaz @kaavyaethanramsey @rookie-ramsey @ramseysno1rookie @ramseyswifey @whippedforethanfreakingramsey @ethanramseyswhore @obsessedheehee @eleanorbloom @queencarb @hopelessromantics4life

The gala was winding down and coming to an end. Ethan watched as Casey used her charm to squeeze out a few last minute donations, only moving from his seat at a table to make his way over as she went in for the final hand shake to seal the deal. The donors then walking towards the main doors and exiting into the night. Casey stood with her eyes closed as she allowed her posture to slouch a little as she pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a tired sigh. Ethan smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, resting his chin carefully on her shoulder. “I’m proud of you.” he praised quietly, as though not to startle her. Pressing a soft, warm kiss to her cheek. Smiling, she leant back into his embrace as her hands fell naturally on top of his. “I’m not the one who made big moves tonight.” She said back, barely above a whisper as she turned around to face the taller doctor. His hands now gliding to the small of her back, he linked his fingers as a means of supporting her as their gazes found each other.

“I... was tired. Of pretending.”

“You weren’t pretending, per se. You were more suppressing your feelings to save my reputation as a doctor. You said so yourself.”

Ethan smiled at her softly, adoration the only thing in his eyes as she looked back at him. A yawn escaped him as he was about to speak.

“Sorry. I guess I’m more tired than I thought.”

“These things do tend to be pretty exhausting. And it probably doesn’t help that you done 5 shots with us before we left.” Casey teased, letting out a little squeal as Ethan playfully jabbed and tickled her sides.

“I’m not that old Casey Valentine. I can keep up with you youngsters perfectly fine and you know it.” He said with a slight chuckle as she writhed in his arms, begging him to stop tickling her.

“No! seriously, stop. Please. I really need to pee. EthAN! NO!” she laughed and shrieked as she almost fell to the floor, but Ethan’s reflexes saved her.

“Do you seriously think I’d let the floor harm your pretty face?” he grinned at her.

“No. But please help me up. I really do need to pee.” she smiled.

Ethan helped her with finding her footing before she walked off to the nearest toilets. He couldn’t resist lightly tapping her butt with a cheeky grin as she looked back at him rolling her eyes playfully. He smiled after her until she disappeared down a corridor, when he turned back he startled slightly as he registered Casey’s flat mates round him in a semi-circle.

“...Can I.. help you?” he asked the 4 faces looking at him. 3 of them wearing matching smirks.

“So you and Valentine huh?” Aurora remarked smugly.

“How long?” Jackie added, fist bumping Aurora still smirking.

“We uh... what I mean is... Casey is....” Ethan flustered

“Is just a friend?” Elijah asked smugly. “We’ve heard that one before buddy.”

“Guys! Don’t tease him so much. That’s mean.” Sienna reprimanded before turning back to Ethan with a smile. “Good for you in taking the leap Dr. Ramsey. Also, thank you for letting her know she was the something that’s worth any risk.” She said sweetly, giving him a quick hug, which he returned with a gentle pat on the back.

“Uh, thank you. Sienna.” He smiled as the other 3 looked at Sienna in shock

“You knew?!” Jackie exclaimed

“And didn’t say anything to us?” Elijah added

“Sienna!” Aurora exclaimed.

The small doctor drew herself to her full height and looked at them sternly in turn. “Casey confided in me when she felt like she had nowhere else to go. So did Dr. Ramsey. I wasn’t going to betray that trust.” she snapped, face screwed in temporary anger. Next to her, Ethan chuckled.

“The smaller they are. The scarier that they get. Casey was right.” Ethan joked. Sienna turning to him and rolling her eyes, hitting his arm. “And it’s Ethan. Outside of work hours at least.” he smiled. Sienna nodded with a smile and small salute.

“Anyway. We came over to ask if we can expect Casey home tonight or not.” Jackie said, getting them back on track.

Ethan shook his head. “Not. There are... a few things I’d like to speak to her about that can’t wait.”

Aurora was about to make another smart remark but saw Casey round the corner with her head down, coming in their direction. “Okay... well. Don’t stay up too late.” She said instead with a wink and the gang turned around, heading outside.

Ethan turned to the sound of heels clicking on the floor behind him, chuckling at the small scowl on Casey’s features as she tugged at her dress muttering angrily under her breath.

“Ugh. Stupid thing will you. No not like that. Will you. UGH!” she screamed but blushed as it echoed around the now almost empty atrium. Ethan extended a hand with a kind and tired smile. “Come on. Let’s go home.” He said. She looked at him perplexed as she took his hand, the two of them heading out into the chilly night. As the frigid chill of the night air hit her skin, Casey hugged herself as a shiver ran down her spine. Ethan shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it round her shoulders.

“Wait here, I’ll just call for a cab.” He said with a smile as she sat on the edge of the fountain. A short while later, they had reached Ethan’s apartment and were drying off from their shared shower.

“That was so warm and refreshing.” Casey smiled with a yawn, plopping on the end of Ethan’s bed as he went through his closet looking for clothes.

“I still don’t see why it’s shocking that I buy Christmas scented soaps. I am a human you know. Not a robot.” He chuckled, throwing one of his navy blue t-shirts at Casey. Laughing when it landed on her head and she whined from behind the material. “Just pull it off.”

Casey lazily pulled it off her head and flopped back on the bed.

“I want to stay here forever. The gossip tomorrow is going to work me into an early grave of retirement.” she joked. Ethan chuckled as he pulled a black V-neck t-shirt of his own over his head.

“You know I’d love nothing more than to spend a full day in bed with you. But work calls whether there’s gossip or not. So please, pretty please, put the t-shirt on so we can get under these covers and cuddle.” he pleaded tiredly, laying next to her on his stomach.

“Can I have a kiss to give me some energy to move?” Casey pouted. Ethan chuckled shaking his head slightly and gave her a peck on the lips. In a flash, Casey had ditched her towel and slid the top over her head. She stood nervously at the foot of the bed.

“What’s the matter?”

“I um... haven’t ever slept without bottoms after a shower... I... feel naked.” Casey stuttered, blushing a light pink. Ethan gave her a kind, tired smile and pointed to his top drawer.

“Take a pair. What’s mine is yours after all.”

“Well. I mean... you can wear my underwear too. Just don’t steal the nice ones.” She joked as she opened the draw, Ethan sighing exasperatedly behind her. Casey stood and looked through the drawer picking out a pair with a neon pink stripe around the waistband, slipping them on and turning to the bed where Ethan was now waiting for her under the covers.

“They look way better on you”

“I didn’t think you were a pink kinda guy.”

“Excuse me? It’s my favourite colour. It’s just not... “manly” to wear such a bright version.”

Casey chuckled as she cuddled into his chest, Ethan covering her with the plush duvet. “You need not giving a fuck about toxic masculinity lessons from Bryce.”

“Do you think him, and Rafael are okay?”

“What do you mean?” Casey asked quietly, tilting her head to look up at him.

“Well, I mean it’s obvious they like you too. And we kissed publicly. They would have seen it.”

“I’ll talk to them when the opportunity comes okay? For now... let’s just worry about us and sleep.”

Ethan sighed with a smile, pressing a kiss to the crown of Casey’s head. “You’re right. Goodnight Casey.”

“Goodnight Ethan.”

--- The Next Morning ---

Early the next morning Ethan rolled over with a groan to turn off his alarm. He didn’t want to get up, but his eyes shot open as he rolled over feeling the empty bed next to him. Panic started rising in his chest. Had last night all just been a dream?

“Casey?!”

He bolted out from under the covers and ran through his apartment looking for her.

“Case!”

As he approach the last room he hoped she would be there and prove that last night wasn’t a dream, but real. He sighed and relaxed seeing her there with her back to the door, music playing quietly from her phone as she plated up food onto two plates. Sensing his presence, Casey turned around and gave him a soft smile before looking at him with concern.

“Are you okay? You look a little worried.”

“I... thought last night was a dream. You... weren’t-”

“Aw! Ethan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you!” she cooed quietly, walking around the kitchen island and wrapping her arms around his torso, snuggling her head into his chest. “I just wanted to make you breakfast so I knew you’d eaten properly this morning.”

Ethan smiled at the thought of the gesture she wanted to make and returned her embrace, swaying them slightly. “Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince is next.” he said casually, Casey looking up at him with a grin. “How do you know?” she asked with a small smirk tugging at her lips. “I.. may have purchased and downloaded the album on my phone after you shared it with me.” Ethan blushed. Casey smiling at him. “Am I turning you into a swiftie?” she asked. “No comment.” He chuckled before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Breakfast?” he said, nodding to the plates on the side. Casey smiled and nodded, collecting them and taking them to the couch.

At lunch later that day, Ethan sat with Casey at Derry Roasters as they enjoyed coffee and sandwiches, doing their best to avoid the gossip of Edenbrook. But their respite was short lived as two surgical residents entered deep in conversation. Luckily for Ethan, their seat near the door they had taken up helped him eavesdrop on the topic. To no surprise it was about him and Casey. “But you didn’t see it Angie! Oh, I wish someone would kiss me like that!” one resident all but swooned. “Well I heard she done it to get onto the diagnostics team and is only carrying it on to keep her spot.” The other said bitterly, adding “Only whores do that.”

Ethan watched as Casey’s cheery demeanor vanished like warm breath on cool air. He breathed in deeply and slammed his fist angrily on the table, rattling the items atop it. Casey tried to give him a look to say it was okay. But it wasn’t. This is what he had feared, people suggesting Casey slept her way onto the team. They both knew she hadn’t. She loved him and he loved her, yet he was still to confess that to her aloud. All day so far Ethan and Casey had been telling each other to just let people talk, but this crossed a serious line. His chair screeched as he pushed himself up, reaching the two surgical staff in the line in four strides. “Why don’t you try saying it to my face?” he bit coldly, scowling and crossing his arms over his chest. “Better yet. Why don’t you say it to her face?” he added, moving aside and gesturing to Casey who was anxiously watching the encounter. A deep sadness was in her eyes. The two gossiping staff shook their heads rapidly, gulping as Ethan continued to glare at them. “I thought as much. I suggest you keep any ill talk about Dr. Valentine to yourselves and not let me hear another word, otherwise I will have your jobs quicker than an alligator snaps up its meal.” Ethan snapped, turning on his heel and going back to the table. He sat down and took Casey’s hand in his own, running the rough, calloused pad of his thumb over the delicate skin of her knuckles before lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it gently. Casey smiled which cheered Ethan up a little but too.

“There we go. There’s my girls beautiful smile.” He grinned

Casey felt the heat rush to her cheeks as she blushed brightly, looking down from Ethan gaze shyly.

“Hey. There’s no need to be shy.” He smiled

“Yes there is.” She mumbled

“Why then? What’s the need for being shy?”

“My smile. It isn’t beautiful.”

“Casey!” Ethan exclaimed lightly. The thought that she believed her smile wasn’t beautiful broke his heart. “It’s so beautiful. Why would you think otherwise?” he continued on in question, but only got a shrugged response. He sighed and pulled the small brunette onto his lap, allowing her to snuggle into his chest. They watched the world passing by outside the window whilst Ethan finished his coffee, rubbing soothing circles on Casey’s back. She suppressed a yawn, closing her eyes as they got heavier with each soothing motion. Feeling a change in the tenseness of her body and noticing a change in her breathing, Ethan shook her gently.

“Hey. Wake up.”

“mmm no.”

“Come on. It’s not bedtime yet, we have patients to see to.” Ethan chuckled

“nnnghh.” Casey groaned, gripping onto him tighter as he stood up himself.

“Come on. Maybe we can talk to your roommates and see if they’re okay with you staying with me for a bit. Because I love you too much to spend nights without you right now. I need, no want you there next to me.”

Casey froze staring at him with wide eyes full of happiness as he looked back at her, shock spreading onto his face as the realization of what he said kicked into his brain.

“Casey I-”

“No. Ethan, it’s okay.” She smiled sweetly, taking his hands in her own. “I love you too.”

“You love me too.” He muttered to himself. “SHE LOVES ME TOO!” he shouted picking Casey up and spinning her around, the other patrons in the shop cheering as he kissed her sweetly on the lips. He pulled away beaming and she giggled at his childlike behaviour as he spun her again.

“I know I don’t need to ask this, but I like formality as you know. So, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Ethan.” She chuckled, running a thumb over his cheek as she cupped it in her hand. “I’d love nothing more than to be your girlfriend.”

Ethan laughed in relief as he hugged Casey tightly. “I love you so much. You have no idea how much I’ve been torturing myself. But now I can... we can walk into work holding hands. I can kiss you in the halls!...” he trailed off as he thought about how happy he would be. Eyes sparkling with wonder and delight.

“I guess we should get back to work?” Casey asked

“...Hm?” Ethan hummed, coming back to reality as he heard Casey’s soft voice

“Work. We should get back.” She repeated briefly, Ethan nodding as he headed to the door, holding it open for her. “After you.” He smiled, Casey giving a curtsy before walking out the door. “Why thank you, kind sir.” she said with a giggle as she passed. Ethan following behind, lacing their fingers together as they headed back to Edenbrook, laughing and joking before sharing a kiss just inside the main atrium and heading back to work.

“Oh Ethan!” Casey shouted in his direction

“Yeah?” he called back, stopping and spinning around to face her.

“Remember. Let them talk!” she told him with a grin. He smiled and nodded, heading off to where he needed to be with a wave over his shoulder.

--- That Night ---

Casey and her roommate friends were sat around the coffee table, laughing and mocking each other as Sienna helped her to pack away the boardgames they had been playing. Ethan was currently using their bathroom.

“So how long have you and Dr. Ramsey been...?” Jackie asked clicking her tongue as she made a gesture with her hands.

“Jackie!” Casey shrieked. “It’s not the sex that got me into him. I was already into him before our first time happened. He’s not as bad as people say. He’s smart way beyond medicine, he’s funny, caring... his culinary skills bang. Like, I thought I could cook... that man proved me sooooo fucking wrong. What’s my 5 minute stir-fry to his succulent chicken? Dog shit. That’s what it is, dog shit and his chicken is ... well it’s just... mouth-watering.” She continued.

“But is it good? His... you know?” Jackie continued to ask with a mischievous glint in her eyes

“Jackie Varma I am not giving you details on my boyfriends privates!” Casey laughed hitting her with a pillow.

“Pillow fight!” Elijah shouted and the room burst into temporary chaos as they all flung pillows and cushions from the couches at each other. Casey running over to Ethan as he returned. “Babe save me I’m under attack!” Casey exclaimed breathlessly. Ethan laughed, subtly signaling for a pillow. Sienna being the closest passed one.

“Aw. Are they being mean to you?” he pouted playfully, and Casey nodded. “But it looks like so much fun. You were laughing when I walked in.”

“But... you’re my boyfriend now. It’s one of your sworn duties to protect me.”

“Is it now?” Ethan smirked. “Or is it my duty to not spoil your fun?” he laughed as he turned to face Casey fully revealing the pillow he was holding, hitting her with it playfully and laughing.

“You traitor!” Casey gasped running from him to get a pillow of her own to hit him back.

By the time they had all said goodnight and settled in their own rooms it was close to midnight. Casey looked at her walls with a happy sigh.

“Just think... The next time we get to snuggle like this it will be in your bed. For a whole month.”

“mmm.” Ethan hummed contently, drawing small patterns on Casey’s hipbone.

“What’s on your mind?” she asked, sensing something was on his mind

“Hm? Oh. Nothing. I was just thinking how friendships are fun, and I’ve seriously wasted a decade of my life being lonely and focusing on medicine, when I could have had my own group of friends and roommates as amazing as yours.”

“You’re one of us now. You do know that right?”

“I.. am?”

“Of course you are. Whether we ended up dating or not. You’re an amazing person and I think we’d be equally good friends as we are partners. We just click. I love how are thoughts bounce off of each other, almost as much as I love you.” Casey said softly, kissing his cheek and booping his nose.

Ethan smiled at her. “Thank you Case.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know. Never giving up on me? making me feel seen? Including me no matter how much I protest?”

“Ethan. I’d do anything to see you smile. You have the most handsome smile I’ve ever seen. And I want to see it every single day for the rest of our lives.”

Ethan chuckled lightly, leaning down to give her a kiss. “Goodnight my little firecracker. I love you.”

“Goodnight... my tall old man. I love you too.” She teased back.

Together they snuggled under Casey’s duvet and fell into a blissful slumber, ready to pack and move her belongings to Ethan’s apartment the next morning, both excited for the month ahead.

——————

A/N: Two Ethan fictions in one day. I think this makes it clear about one of the characters that’s ine my mind right now, don’t you? 😉😂

Anyways, let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my taglist. It helps a lot knowing who to tag and who not to tag, and I would hate to annoy people by constantly taging them when they don’t want to be.

#choices stories you play #playchoices #pixelberry studios #open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey fanfiction #choices fanfiction #ethan ramsey #casey valentine #ethan x casey #dr valentine x dr ramsey #dr ramsey x dr valentine #oph f!mc #dr ethan ramsey #dr casey valentine #dr ramsey x f!mc

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arofili · 4 years

Note

For the character ask: all the children of Finarfin

How I feel about this character:

Finrod: charming slutty blond twink with a heart of gold. maybe that’s too much fanon and not enough canon but you can tear that characterization from my cold dead hands tbh. like yes this is King “I Killed A Werewolf With Nothing But My Teeth And The Power Of Love” but he’s also Prince “I Rap Battled With Sauron And Lost” and Lord “I Befriended Men and Dwarves Before It Was Cool”

Angrod: of all his siblings i think he’s the most… Angry Boy. he has a temper, but he’s also married with a kid (I subscribe to the Orodreth Angrodion version of canon). i think he’s the ‘oh my god why can’t any of you be NORMAL’ brother. BOTH his mother name and his father name are derived from the word for ‘iron’ - he’s got an iron personality, very strong-willed and stubborn. i also hc that he’s the only arafinwean who has Earwen’s silver hair.

Aegnor: a hopeless romantic. the dreamiest arafinwion (and that’s including artanis!). very particular about his hair (which is a WILD canon detail that i love sjdfhdk) but also has terrible fashion. his head’s always in the clouds, he’s a daydreamer, but he’s also incredibly loyal and a really good friend. he almost always listens to his heart over his head - and the fact that he and andreth never marry is the One Time he listened to logic over emotion, and that haunts him forever.

Galadriel: almost as much of a genius as Feanor and almost as humble about it, which is to say, not at all. she’s proud and stubborn and full of herself, especially in her youth - she’s also gorgeous and smart and right a lot of the time, which doesn’t help her ego. by the time she’s become Lady of Lothlorien she’s been through a lot and is much more humble and wise, but i think that comes not just from her experiences but also from being married to Celeborn the Wise. i think he balances her out very well tbh. (my favorite Galadriel characterization EVER is from this fic by @nerdanelparmandil, check it out!!)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Finrod: I ship Finrod with anything that moves tbh….. I see him as super super gay, he and Amarie were mutual beards which is why she didn’t follow him to Endore. i am a Known Slut for Finrod/Turgon in particular, they’re kind of endgame for me, but also @raisingcain-onceagain has converted me to Finrod/Edrahil!! And while the Nargothrond Disaster Trio are in no way shape or form HEALTHY, i really really enjoy Celegorm/Curufin/Finrod content, that dynamic is delicious. i can also get down on Maedhros/Fingon/Finrod, though not really in a serious way. PLUS Finrod/Beor is very good, as is Finrod/Barahir and Finrod/Beren(/Luthien if we’re feeling spicy), and you KNOW he got busy with some dwarves! I just think he’s very free with his feelings and desires, especially after coming to Beleriand, and he takes full advantage of his freedom and position of authority to get what he wants. (not necessarily in a weird power dynamics way, though he’s into that kind of kinky shit too probably, i mean more in ‘it’s my kingdom i get to make the rules and i say No Homophobia and No Slutshaming’) - and I’m super happy to multiship with Finrod, there are verses where he’s fucking everyone and verses where he’s pining over Turgon and verses where he never even thinks about anyone other than Edrahil and etc etc etc. there’s probably even verses where he and Sauron get up to some funky shit!

Angrod: I don’t have a lot of headcanons about him and Eldalote. She has a Sindarin name, so maybe she came with him to Middle-earth - or maybe not, and he just missed her so much that he wouldn’t shut up about her and so her name was Sindarized to Edhellos. Either way I think they had a very strong relationship that ended in tragedy one way or another. I’ve also seen some fun Angrod/Caranthir enemies-to-lovers stuff, which I can get into, but I think Caranthir is aro so it’s not really my main hc.

Aegnor: i mean how can you NOT ship him and Andreth??? that relationship is just….so tragic and heartbreaking and beautiful. I like the theory that Gil-galad was their child, and he was given to Orodreth to raise because Andreth couldn’t care for an elfling and Aegnor couldn’t publicly claim a son out of wedlock. But also verses where they are just tragically pining after one another are beautiful in their own way. My headcanon is that the thing keeping them apart was less about the war going on and more about Aegnor fearing to lose her - but then he actually dies before her, and Andreth has to live with that pain. (idk if that works out timeline wise but. yeah)

Galadriel: Meladriel is very good and I enjoy that - I’ve also seen some great Galadriel/Luthien and even a Galadriel/Feanor fic I enjoyed. BUT overall i really love that she chose to marry Celeborn, a wise “dark elf” even when she’s completely out of his league - he balances her very well, and I don’t buy depictions of her walking all over him. she cares about him and he’s really good for her!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Finrod: I ship Finrod/Turgon but also WHAT a great friendship they have!! I love that they go adventuring together :) And Finrod, Maedhros, and Fingon are so fun to imagine growing up together! Plus there’s his relationship with his nephew Orodreth, who he clearly adores, and also the fact that he’s still buddies with the Feanorians even after the first kinslaying (at Alqualonde! his home! where his mom is from!) and he’s so excited to meet new people from the Sindar to the Edain to the Dwarves. Finrod’s just EVERYONE’S friend and i appreciate that!!

Angrod: ….what if he and Caranthir used to be really close, like they are similar ages and grew up together, but then Something Happened and they started hating each other later on. that would be Very fun. also, he and Aegnor were lords together over the same land and died together, which implies they were very close - close like Celegorm and Curufin!

Aegnor: Again, he and Angrod were Best Bros which is great. I also think he’s probably beloved by Andreth’s people, he’s just this huge elf man they all kind of adopted and he’s so honored that they love him so much!

Galadriel: Melian!! obviously!! she stayed in Doriath specifically to learn from her, which is super neat. and then Gandalf in the later ages, i love whatever they have going on in the movies especially. i also think she and Celebrimbor had a weird rival-friendship i the second age, they’re both geniuses but from opposite sides of the family feud…except the family feud has killed pretty much everyone BUT them, so they come together to mourn that.

My unpopular opinion about this character

(this turned into more of ‘what are their negative personality traits’ than ‘unpopular opinions’ but whatever…)

Finrod: i’m sure he did his best but….when he was king of nargothrond he was still gallivanting all over the place. orodreth was probably More In Charge from before he was officially king…

Angrod: he’s a grade-A asshole. just a dick. mean as shit and holds grudges forever. really annoying to be around.

Aegnor: a dumbass. always listens to his heart and gets in trouble for it, until the one time he listens to his head and regrets it forever.

Galadriel: would make an EXCELLENT villain. ‘all shall love me and despair’ ? come on yall. if it had been HER versus sauron instead of Finrod (and…considering she was probably friends with Luthien, it very well could have been) i think she may have won, and im just imagining Sauron working for her, and the second and third ages going very differently with her being a Queen who everyone loves until they look back and realize she’s been corrupted and turned evil.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

so i think canon did mostly a good job with them SO some of these are some AUs!!!

Finrod: …if he had managed to convince Celegorm and Curufin to help with the Silmaril quest–the war could have ended before the Nirnaeth, maybe. or at least gone very differently.

Angrod: im gonna physically fight tolkien over giving us practically NOTHING on the wives of various characters - tell me more about Eldalote you coward!!!!

Aegnor: JUST MARRY ANDRETH PLEASE. i’m a slut for interspecies relationships and the fact that this one is male elf/female human is SO good and frankly unprecedented in Tolkien’s works. PLEASE i need more!!!

Galadriel: FUCK that evil!Artanis AU would be REALLY cool and sexy, wouldn’t it?

#silmarillion #finrod #angrod #aegnor #galadriel #long post #silm #arafinweans #arafinwions #ask games #thanks anon!!!!#anon #answers #my meta #silm meta

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illfoandillfie · 3 years

Note

Can I get a general career reading? With the art nouveau deck and the archetype oracle please.

of course darl!

tarot: ace of cups, page of cups, justice, queen of cups,3 of swords, the fool, the tower, the hanged man, the world

okay!! we have some interesting cards here! something that drew my attention immediately was the first and last cards. we open with an ace which is the start of the minor arcana and all of the aces are related to new starts or new opportunities. And then we end on the world which is the last card of the major arcana and symbolises completion and fulfilment. so this seems to be a self-contained cycle you’re entering.

I’d also like to just acknowledge how many cups cards there are here. The cups as a suit is related to emotions and the heart so this may be a highly emotional time or you may find yourself being driven by your emotions rather than logic or reason. There’s also a lot of major arcana cards which isn’t necessarily good or bad but it’s worth noting because the major arcana are generally related to Big life events or milestones whereas the minor arcana are more sort of every day things. so this seems like it’ll be a significant period for you. but lets have a closer look at it all.

So like i said, the aces are related to new opportunities and the suit of cups is tied to emotions and the heart. So the ace of cups is related to new things or new situations that are cause for strong emotions. A lot of the time it’s connected to romance but in this career reading it’s probably more likely some sort of new opportunity, particularly related to creativity. There’s a lot of potential here, all you have to do is reach out and take the cup. But it’s not all happiness. The ace is being clarified by the three of swords which is a card of heartbreak and suffering, It can be through delays or absences, unrest or confusion. Any sort of disruption or incompatibility. This could indicate something going wrong at work. A worst case scenario could be being fired/retrenched but it could also be related to people you work with or just a tough work environment that you struggle with. Something here isn’t looking good though. The ace of cups can relate to intuition or spirituality as well so it might be that you’ve had a gut feeling something is coming or you might have noticed changes happening around the work place and if that’s the case I would definitely listen to your gut and prepare yourself for bad news. But there is definitely a silver lining here. The 3 of swords isnt the main card, the ace of cups is and that says to me that while something will go wrong it will open you up to finding something new which is a better fit for you. It might even be that the bad thing happens to someone else and consequently you take over their roll or something like that. But if you’ve been thinking about starting up some sort of creative endeavour, like an etsy store or writing a novel, this is the time to push forward with it.

Then we have the page of cups and the fool. There are two court cards who appear in this reading so one may be someone you’ll associate or work with but it’s entirely possible that both of them represent you. The page is imaginative and sensitive. He’s a bit of a dreamer and often has his head in the clouds. This definitely fits in if you’ve been considering a new side hustle or if you’ve been thinking about making a change in your career path. the fool as a similar sort of energy but he’s less dreamy and more of a free spirit. he isnt worried about where he’s putting his feet, far more concerned with what he’s experiencing in each moment. He’s innocent, sometimes naive, but also courageous and more concerned with having fun. In relation to career and finances he’s definitely a symbol to take the leap - whether it’s selling art or putting your hand up for a promotion or leaving a job and finding a new one. The fool says go for it, especially if it’s something you’ve been dreaming about doing. There’s a very fresh and energized feeling in these cards and it seems you’ll soon be presented with an opportunity to follow through with your dreams.

next is three major arcana. Justice is about doing things in the right way without cutting corners. The fool might be impulsive but justice is reminding you to do things right the first time so you don’t make a huge mistake that ruins all your plans. The tower is interesting in this position. I won’t sugar coat it, usually the tower is about a drastic, dramatic change. The kind of thing that shatters your world, sends everything crashing down around you. Together with Justice it could be a sign that some sort of truth is going to come out that turns things upside down for you. If you’ve been stealing office supplies or embezzling money (hopefully not) it is going to come out. On the flip side it could be about someone else’s lies being found out. If you’ve been involved with any workplace disputes recently the justice card is a sign that things will go in your favour as long as you’ve been honest and fair. And this could relate to that big change that’s going to open the new opportunity of the ace of cups.

But I don’t feel like that’s exactly it. If the tower had shown up next to the 3 of swords i would say yeah that’s it. But with it being sandwich between justice and the hanged man i feel like it’s something else. So let’s look at that hanged man. It’s a card related to sacrifice, release, and changing perspective. In relation to career it could symbolise feeling stuck or uncertain about where you’re headed. So together these three cards could be advice for you or a warning of sorts. They’re saying that the big change and taking that leap of faith the fool asks you to take, won’t be easy. There will be times when you feel like you made a mistake, like you’re in over your head and you’ve gotten yourself into a tower situation that is so much worse than whatever the 3 of swords you left behind was. You will think about throwing in the towel. you will think about giving up. But don’t listen to those voices. Justice is on your side and the scales will rebalance for you. It might take some readjustments, it might take rebuilding parts of your plan, it might take a fresh perspective. But you will be vindicated in your choice to try something new and things will clear up.

Finally we have the queen of cups and the world. The queen of cups is a bit of an upgrade to the page from earlier. Of course, the queen may be someone you’ll turn to for advice or help. But I think she could also be you, closer to reaching your goal and the end of the cycle. The queen of cups is compassionate. She is calm and comforting. She symbolises devotion, pleasure, success. Where the page dreams and imagines, the queen creates and acts. She’s also a reminder that whatever you do as a job should help you feel emotionally fulfilled and not just financially. Especially since she’s being clarified by the world which is related to fulfilment as well as harmony and completion. The world comes at the end of a journey. It represents assured success and is associated with getting that job you want as well as graduations and celebrations. It’s a sign that if you take this opportunity that will present itself soon you can turn it into something you love and which can offer finance stability. The World is also about the start of a new cycle though. As one thing draws to an end, or one goal is reached, you see there is still further to climb and more to accomplish.

I drew you 4 of the archetype cards as well as a few numerology and elemental cards.

So the archetypes first. Thanks for requesting this deck by the way! I don’t often use it so it was nice to bring it out again! The thought behind these cards is that everyone’s personalities and psyche is made up of a number of different archetypes, some more evident than others. And these archetypes may change as you grow and also depending on the situation you’re in - you might act one way at work and another with your friends. I think traditionally these cards would be used to describe people but I’m hoping they can give us some insight on traits you can use in relation to your career as well as general sort of knowledge about the situation presented in the tarot cards. Each archetype as a light side and a shadow side which reflect both positive and negative aspects.

The first archetype is the Alchemist. Light - transformation of base motives and goals into golden wisdom. Shadow: Misuse of power and knowledge that come through spiritual practice. - to me this really fits with the tarot cards. The main message of the tarot was to seriously consider whatever dreams or fantasies you’ve been thinking about in relation to your career to to go after them and i think thats what the light attribute is really getting at here. You have the power within yourself to turn you little goal into something big and beautiful.

Prince. light - romantic charm and potential for power. shadow - using power for self-aggrandizement. This is interesting considering the number of cups cards we had and how often they’re linked to romances. The prince may be someone you come across, maybe someone involved in whatever the 3 of swords situation is. However, the prince is also seen as a ruler in training and if you’re appearing as the page of cups to start and gradually becoming the queen, then it’s also quite possibly related to your journey.

Trickster. light - transcending convention, stuffiness, and predictable behaviour. shadow - manipulating others through duplicity. This card could be linked with the fool perhaps, unpredictable and kind of wild. It also reminds me a bit of that justice card, especially if you’re taking it from an angle of “someone did something wrong and they’re being caught out”.

Child: Magical. So, according to the guidebook there are 4 archetypes that everyone will have one of but each of them have multiple versions. The child is one of those and here we’ve drawn the magical version. light - seeing the potential for sacred beauty in all things. The belief that everything is possible. shadow - pessimism, depression, and disbelief in miracles. believing that energy and action are not required for growth. this definitely feels like its related to the ace of cups and the 3 of swords, believing that something wonderful can come from something painful. It may also relate to the page who spends his time dreaming rather than acting, like the shadow attriubte.

From the numerology deck we got personal growth, effort, and pride. personal growth indicates a time of significant growth and improvement and that is absolutely reflected in the tarot cards above. theres a lot of potential here and a lof of cards that suggest this will be a turning point for you. Effort is a sign that things coming will require some hard work from you, extra effort to overcome obsticles and challenges. but when the going gets tough the tough get going and you are definitely tough enough to handle it. And Pride to me represents that you will be proud of what you can accomplish through this hard work.

Finally, the element cards: magnetism (attraction) and rock (endurance). there are magnetic forces that are pulling you towards this change and this opportunity. this could tie in with the intuitive message of the ace of cups, if you’ve been able to sense things shifting. rock is another card that points to things being difficult at times and it’s saying you have what it takes to get through them and to find success and happiness.

#woof #this was a bit of a long one.#i dont think i can get through the last couple of readings tonight #since i have work tomorrow #but i will answer them asap #i might try and get them written up over lunch tomorrow even if i cant get onto tumblr to post them until after i get home #i'll defs try to have them up by this time tomorrow though!#i'd say i'd post them on wednesday when i normally have a scheduled day off #but this week i'm covering for someone and actually working weds and thurs #but dw! they are coming!#card readings

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computernerdjohanssen · 4 years

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Great Comet Character Analysis (Hélène)

So, I did end up writing this instead of doing work for school, I’ll probably write the rest of them over the next couple weeks, but this is the Hélène post bc I love her & I feel like she can be super misinterpreted!

Disclaimer: I never saw Comet live; I’m just working off of a couple boots & 4 years of listening to the soundtrack plus a tiny bit of the novel & the official Great Comet book

So, the general characterization of Hélène in Comet is that she’s selfish and cruel, putting herself and her happiness first, BUT when you look a little deeper, you can see how bored and tried of this life she is and how her actions are really motivated by some kind of compassion

So, in War & Peace, Hélène is trapped in her loveless marriage primarily bc her father (Prince Vasili is the worst) wanted to get his hands on Pierre’s title and fortune

she and Pierre were never in love, and in Comet we see how toxic their relationship can be since Hélène constantly mocks him by verbally insulting him or flaunting her extra-marital affairs publicly

However, Hélène does at least care for her husband, since she fears for his life throughout the Duel, pleading with him to not accept the challenge & screaming as Dolokhov shoots (emphasized further on stage as Hélène grabs at Pierre’s arms and bends over the railings during the duel in grief)

whether you want to attribute this to fear of losing her status or wealth is up to you, but I think it’s more compassion since she later risks her title trying to obtain an annulment from Pierre in the book

also, very interesting is how Hélène only screams for Pierre, despite the fact Dolokhov is the only one who actually gets shot. She only dismisses him, telling Anatole to take him away and then never really interacts with him again until the Abduction

the end of the Duel is one of the most notable points of Hélène being done with this kind of life; how defeated/resigned she sounds when calling Pierre a fool, the aggression in “it’s a gift” wow I love Amber Gray

Of course, one of Hélène’s most notable plots is her very public affair with Dolokhov (the motivation behind the “Hélène is a slut” line for the most part) but honestly, they barely interact beyond showing off at the Opera and during the Duel, Dolokhov is more of a distraction for Hélène than anything else

in the end Hélène is only portrayed as a “slut” due to her affairs (just Dolokhov in Comet but there were others) but, I still love how Dave Malloy shaped Hélène someone who has embraced her sexuality with pride, she’s a badass, no one can tell me otherwise

Hélène’s main relationship in the show is really with Anatole, her brother, who she clearly loves more than anyone (I’m not touching the incest thing thanks) & throughout the first act, Hélène goes along with/encourages Anatole to pursue Natasha despite knowing better bc she knows it’ll amuse him

she & Dolokhov have clearly dealt with Anatole’s obsessions before, I doubt Hélène knew the full scope of Anatole’s intentions at first, if at all (Anatole takes money from her, it’s never implied she gave it or was aware of the plot to elope but she’s not totally innocent either)

during the Ball, Hélène is the last to stop playing her wine glass after Natasha & Anatole kiss, and repeatedly encourages Anatole throughout the ball despite knowing Natasha is engaged

she coerces Natasha to the Ball on Anatole behalf (literally all of Charming is for Anatole’s sake), she carries Anatole’s letter giddily across to Natasha (with a quick stop via an audience member), etc.

Hélène’s involvement in the whole Natasha/Anatole disaster can really just be seen as a source of entertainment for her, it’s amusing for her to watch her brother act like that and so Hélène encourages it all for the sake of her own enjoyment (“how the thought of throwing them together amuses me”

when the abduction goes south, Hélène is protective of Anatole and wants to shield him as much as possible (she calls for him during Find Anatole and tries to calm him, then Anatole collapses into Hélène’s lap as Pierre enters their home)

Pierre tears into Hélène once he finds them, but she puts herself between her husband and brother in a last attempt to protect him (in boots, you can see how threatening Pierre is to Anatole & the terror that crosses Amber’s face)

when Pierre first responds to Hélène, you can see Amber cradle Lucas’ face and whisper to him to keep him as calm as possible before pushing him away as Pierre walks towards them

When Pierre gets close, Hélène throws herself over one of the banquettes to protect herself from his path, raising a hand towards him as he passes by (this behaviour implies that Pierre had raised his hand to her before, or that she knows how dangerous his temper can be. Dave actually included this in an early version of the song, referencing how well Hélène knew Pierre’s rage)

When Pierre says “amuse yourself with women like my wife” during Pierre & Anatole, a spotlight shines on Hélène and she stands from the stairs in defiance, looking real pissed about how Pierre believes she should be treated

“reflection of that base and cringing smile, which Pierre knew so well in his wife”, not only does this line further vilify Anatole but strengthens the similarities between the Kuragin siblings and how selfish Hélène can be too

As Anatole makes his exit, Hélène runs down the stairs to get one last look & collapses over the railing like she does during the Duel. When the lights come back on, she glares at Pierre for abusing her brother & chasing him away

Hélène then sits beside one of the onstage tables for the rest of the show looking v depressed, and starts crying as Pierre confesses his love to Natasha which is so heartbreaking

in the end, Hélène is a more complex character than most people initially think and god bless Amber Gray for portraying her so magnificently

#is this much longer than i though? yes #did i think about this for like 3 weeks? yes #tumblr wouldn't let me post is like 6 times but whatever #and yes i am a psych major that's why i over-think stuff like this #hélène kuragina #hélène bezukhova #natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812 #great comet #great comet character analysis #the nerd speaks #amber gray

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cinnbar-bun · 5 years

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WILDCARD: Mysmes as gbf units (what element, what weapon they'd use, what race they'd be and so on)

*rubs hands together* I was MADE for this

Zen: Light element- I’m kinda gonna base this on his outfit for when he played Zorro. He’d be kind of mysterious but over-dramatic- he’d introduce himself as an aspiring actor, flirt with Danchou for a bit and be all ‘hehe obviously the god’s regret making me this handsome’. He has a rapier on his side and Vyrn roasts him literally every second like ‘yo dodo bird do you even fight bro????’ and Zen gets SO offended. His fate episode has him basically chatting your ear off and you’re like ‘why is he even in my crew-he’s as chaotic as Aoidos???’ But as you level him up he is the sweetest thing ever and his v-day+ white day cutscenes would be the absolute cutest things ever!!! He’d be so suave you’d have a heart attack!!

Rarity: I’d go off on a limb here and say maybe r or Sr, since he’s the “easy” route, he’d prolly be one of the easiest to get. I’d also say he’d be a fan favorite real quick, so he gets an sr summer skin and sr event character, maybe an outfit or two as well.

Skills: Based on his personality, I think he’d be one that can charm enemies with a cheesy skill name like ‘dazzling skin’ or ‘blinding smile’. Also based on his rather hot-headed personality, he’d prolly be someone with ‘hostility-up’. I’d even say when you get him to level 45 and earn his last skill, he’d have a skill that heals or takes hits for you, the MC.

Weapon: Rapier, as said before. I think he’d call it ‘Zorro’ or something else that’s entirely stupid. When you summon his weapon, it’d be called ‘radiant rapier’.

Yoosung- Wind element. He’s an absolute cutie and would prolly be a hermit in the forest chatting it up with his animal buddies and you gotta drag his butt outside while he screams about the sun. His whole character arc is him getting utterly ROASTED by Vyrn and literally everyone because of how much of a NEET he is. Lyria and Danchou try to reintegrate him into society and trust people more. He starts off as ‘happy’ in his fate episode, gets melancholic in his skill episode, then becomes truly happy in a cross episode with another character.

Rarity: Sr. Unfortunately he’s not as popular as most, so he probably gets an event unit at most besides his original. I think he’d eventually be recognized as being a great character and may get a summon stone though.

Skills: I think he’d be a healer/buffer to the crew. So he’d be healing with a skill called “Superman Yoosung to the rescue!!” and then a buff for wind characters like “NERF THIS WIND LOLOL!!!” And then his last skill will be a really sentimental one like “I’ve become stronger now” and it places a defense shield on him and ally.

Weapon: Staff. He’s a healer, but his sprite has like a bird and deer somewhere. If you were to summon him, it’d be called “Staff of Life”.

Jaehee- Is a tired woman who you bump into because she’s busy trying to deal with Jumin’s shit. She apologizes quickly and Lyria is like “OMG BUT WE NEED TO HELP HER!!!!’ So her whole character arc is you helping her she should achieve her dreams and then suddenly she’s like ‘yeah LEMME QUIT AND START A CAFE!!!’ She becomes great friends with Sandalphon becuase they both bleed coffee and are done with everyone, but have a soft spot for the captain, and have massive crushes on their white haired besties (i mean whaaaaat).

Rarity: Sr. She gets an original, but a second sr version where she has finally achieved her dream. It’s a really cute closure to her character, and Jumin doesn’t act so OOC to fill a quota lol.

Skills: She’d be debuffer/ buffer extraordinaire. Cooldown times shorten, atk goes up, and she has a stackable skill ‘The faster you finish, the faster you can leave!!’ in which her hostility and atk goes up, her def goes down, and she HITS HARD!!!

Weapon: stack of papers Idk tbh, maybe a tome, but it’s referred to as a staff (call it a gd book jfc Cygames lol). She’d probably earth element and WILL BREAK THE EARTH IN HALF!!!!

Jumin- The rich, stoic prince of a kingdom you end up meeting on accident. He only joins you because you found Elizabeth the 3rd and he was very grateful. So imagine Percival on steroids and that’s Jumin as a GBF character. He’s quick to call bullshit, but every time Vyrn or Zen roasts him it flies over his head/he roasts them back a thousand times harder. His arc is him learning to trust his FEEELINSS!! Also becomes close with Dante and they both philosophically discuss cats like they’re their gods. His V-day and White Day cutscenes will be the EXACT SAME AS SIEGFRIED!! HE’S AWFUL ON V DAY BUT ON WHITE DAY HE’LL BE COMPLIMENTING YOU AND BEING HAWT BUT THEN HE’S LIKE ‘I RESPECT YOU’. DUMB IDIOT STILL DOESN’T KNOW FEELINGS!!

Rarity: SSR. He’s quickly become a fan favorite and has two ssr versions, his original and maybe a halloween/ christmas version, and then an anniversary skin where he’s wearing a dashing tux and it will say on the description, ‘Can you keep up with me’ or something safdsjgnfljsnjkn I’m dying CYGAMES MM COLLAB WHENST????

Skills: He’s a dark debuffer/ defensive character. He can hit hard but he is more focused on longer battles where survivability is more necessary than him nuking. He’d have a def down for enemies and it’s called ‘I get checks’ and a def up for all allies called ‘Ahh- to be with Elizabeth the 3rd again’

Weapon: A beautiful sword/ lance that is very pristine and glorious. It’s gonna have a diamond on it somewhere and it’s gonna be a reference to how his father gave him that pen.

Also!!! He gets a cross-fate episode with Zen where they both roast each other before actually talking out their feelings and working it out. I can also imagine an episode where he delves more into his distrust of women and why he focuses on his Elizabeth so much.

707- He’s so god damn chaotic you wonder WHY THE HELL IS HE EVEN ALLOWED??? Okay so you end up meeting him when Rackam is trying to fix the Grandcypher and homeboy shows up, suggests some ideas and him and Rackam go nutso over ships (this version of cars). He has a lot of inside jokes and is very memeable for a GBF character, becoming a notorious part of the April Fools event. His fate episodes start off happy before becoming depressing and you’re like wow why don’t you just run me over with a boat huh???

Rarity: SSR. Super popular and has like…five variants lol. I say he’d be a fire nuker all the time except for one ssr variant, in which it’s a dark version where it was a ‘what if he fell into despair?1!!!!???’ Super depressing story holy cow. He’s got an event sr in there, it’s pretty good. He’s prolly also got a summer, Christmas, or Halloween variant somewhere there. Of course, because of his popularity, he gets skin or two as well.

Weapon: I imagine him using a fire gun. Like imagine a better Rackam. It’d be called something like, “hacker’s resolve”.

Skills: Fire nuker. He’s horrible for long distance fights, but he focuses a lot on enmity, hype, and hostility up fights where he needs to hit hard and fast. For sure has a skill called, ‘I’m in’, and “Defender of Justice-707!!’ and after you complete the heart-wrenching skill ep. he gets his final skill called, “god forgive me”. It’s so depressing T-T

Also!! Has a cross-fate with both Yoosung and Unknown where they focus on family and growing past their own background.

Unknown- A very scary dude when you first meet him, who tries to kill you on sight. Lyria…does something and he’s like, ‘I need to get revenge so I’ll stick with you if you let me kill people’. His episodes start off VERY dark and disturbing, but gradually get happier as he becomes more acquainted with the MC. I’d say he’s basically like Azazel where he’s so tsundere about everything and you’re ‘okay brooooo’. His valentines day cutscenes would be absolutely hilarious as he’s like ‘ew why would I take anything you make’ to ‘i dreamt of eating your chocolate again’. His white day scenes would be SOOOOOO worth it tho, he gets you a bouquet of flowers with special meaning and is blushing and tells you to take it before he freaks out.

Rarity: Originally a water sr, but then got a wind SSR version that represents him growing and becoming ‘Saeran’ again. It’s a super amazing growth that makes everyone weep when they!! see!! the!! baby!! smile!! He prolly has a Halloween version where he dresses as the phantom again.

Weapon: Firearms. Tons of guns and explosions.

Skills: He’s an attacker/debuffer. He can hit hard like his brother but can ACTUALLY TAKE A HIT AND NOT DIE!!! I can imagine he’d have a self heal skill called ‘mint eye elixir’ where he drinks a potion and heals, but if you do it too much he eventually can be knocked out or raise his atk a lot but get killed by getting slapped too hard. He’d have tons of debuffs where he blinds and confuses foes, and his last skill would be called ‘unraveled chains’ where he boosts his atk and def. His SSR version would be a lot different and more focused on buffing everyone up, and he’s so good at it. They’re mostly related to flowers and how he’s grown and changed as a person, and how he finally reached happiness.

V- He is a blind wizard. That’s it. That’s literally how you meet him you go ‘lol there’s no such thing as a-’ and V saves your ass from getting run over by a cart or something. You beg him to join and he’s like ‘well of course I’ll help you wonderful children!!!’ His v-day and white day scenes are absolutely heartbreaking yet so emotional because he talks about his past with Rika yet says how he can finally ‘see’ the light since joining you. His story IS SAD!! SAD!! SAD BOI HOURS AT ALL TIMES!!! A BLIND MAN IS CRYING OVER HOW HIS SINS WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO WASHED AWAY AND HE SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO GET A SECOND CHANCE AND!!! SO SAD!!

Rarity: Water SSR plus a dark sr from an event where he’s in his mint eye clothes. Gets a Halloween skin where he’s dressed as a detective trying to find his happiness and will to live.

Skills: Self-sacrificing skills that buff everyone up. It’s so sad because he’s so good at buffing everyone and making everyone a tank but you just… dude you wanna talk about it?? Do you want a healer omg man, I’m so sorry.

Weapon: Blind wizard. He uses a staff, which doubles as his walking staff.

#long post #mystic messenger #gbf

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