#(And my favorite songs of his are probably 'State Road Valentine' and 'Blood and Oil' and 'Holiday in Elsinore'.)

[averbaldumpingground]

All I ever wanted was you, like the time we got groceries by Astor. You, with a basket with chicken and yoghurt dumped in it, and I trailed behind you and wanted.

There wasn't a clean way to end things. There couldn't have been. I wouldn't follow you to Texas, not with a half-broken heart and all of it, so unrequited. You'd only jokingly asked.

But I'm not sure you understood me. It was the evenings sitting on your radiator, with the radio on, watching movies on my couch, the errands, the time after church, those were the moments I wanted.

I loved you like a book that I'd reread. The kind of thoughts I'd only realized much later were different.

#June 12 2021 #Garbage. #I'm thinking of a Charlotte Cornfield song a bit. #She's fantastic btw. #The Shape of Your Name is just such a fucking perfect album. #Man. #I saw her a few years back at Rockwood Music Hall where she was opening for Royal Wood. #(Who is also fantastic and I've seen a bunch of times at Club Passim and the Living Room and Rockwood.) #(Which should date me a bit. Because I keep saying it but I fucking miss the Living Room.) #(Best shows there were the third or so time I got to see Royal Wood live and I got him to play the Oompa Loompa song.) #(And the one time I got to see Django Haskins when he was playing a solo show.) #(And the audience kept requesting things from his pre-The Old Ceremony days. And I got him to play 'Beautiful'.) #(He seemed very humbled to take us back through his song catalogue. It was a really great intimate show.) #(Folding Stars has some great stuff on it. I still have a physical copy of it somewhere I think.) #(I got it when I was in high school. I think I discovered him because a webcomic I liked mentioned his old band International Orange.) #(His version of 'Prince Charming' is just kind of heartbreaking.) #(Any I'm not sure why I requested 'Beautiful' that night. The song I've listened to most on that album is definitely 'Geronimo'.) #(And my favorite songs of his are probably 'State Road Valentine' and 'Blood and Oil' and 'Holiday in Elsinore'.) #(The latter two are The Old Ceremony songs.) #(But I don't know. I guess I was feeling kind of raw that night and figured if he was entertaining left field requests let's go for it.) #(I miss the Living Room.) #(I've seen Royal Wood a bunch at Rockwood. Including the times he played with Charlotte Cornfield and Diana Chittester.) #(And yes I bought both the ladies' albums because they're great.) #(I was supposed to see Charlotte Cornfield at littlefield last year. But that obviously got canceled because PLAGUE.) #(So the last concert I actually went to was Sloan at the Bowery.) #(And like can I just say? Chris Murphy is such a total sweetheart.) #(I mean I knew this already because I had met him briefly many many years ago when I saw Sloan at T.T. the Bear's.) #(But nicest most genuine musician/famous person I've ever met? Without a doubt Chris Murphy from Sloan.) #(I'm sure I probably raved about this last year some time around that concert happening.) #(I just miss live music a lot right now. There's some stuff coming up I want to see but don't particularly want to go alone to.)