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#(And I really don't like what they were trying to pull with the 50th anniversary
darkerthanblack-666 · 11 months
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Re: ESC 2024 hosting because of ABBA: I’ve got THOUGHTS even tho I’m just an American (don’t get me started on American Song Contest that needs to die we have 57 of those WHY DO WE NEED THAT ONE) lol. The thought are as follows: I get that it’s ~tradition~ for the winner to host next year’s contest (afaik it’s not like written in the rules, right??) but like… had they just been HONEST and said “Sweden is going to host ESC 2024 regardless of winner for ABBA’s 50th anniversary” I really think everyone would’ve been like “ok that’s fine get on with the show, whoever wins can host 2025 or have a separate event” but instead (this may just be the American in me who sees corruption everywhere lol) I fully believe Sweden paid a lot of money to get the jury to make them the winner (or otherwise somehow rigged it) and because of that, whether you like her or not, Loreen’s “win” will always seem suspect and luckily it seems like the juries are bearing the brunt of the nasty reactions, not Loreen (whether you like her or not, nobody deserves to be shat on for what the juries did), she’s always gonna have those allegations over her. Do I think Finland should’ve won with that popular vote count? Yes. Do I think Loreen had anything to do with Sweden actually winning? Not really. I really hope whoever’s in charge gets their shit together before next year and change rules to have it actually be fair (ie, if you won once you can’t compete again, abolish the juries and have the popular vote win, etc) because it was FUN this year with unique acts (for the most part lol) and then Sweden ruined it and soured the whole thing for everyone INCLUDING THE PERFORMERS and that makes me sad. It’s supposed to be fun. You’re not supposed to go home hoping your country doesn’t hate you.
Listen, even before the Swedish national selections I've been reading wank to Loreen. I didn't know who she was, because I don't watch Eurovision religiously (metalheads in general think that Eurovision is crap and this year we all were proven it is crap indeed). I heard her song and didn't even remember it for the first time, I totally spaced out when I watched the video. It's nothing special. But everyone was treating it like the highest form of art.
They kept saying she's going to win the national selections, and then the whole contest. I think someone created that hype around her on purpose. So many viewers thought the song was something exceptional, while it isn't. I personally think they pulled her out of her sleeve and created the hype to win it. Because the same strategy was used with Blanka in Poland. Promoting the song on TV, then in multiple countries, etc.
Sometimes shady tactics are not necessary to get high score in televote, it's simply marketing and I can easily see it in both cases here (but ofc Blanka didn't get that many points from the jury, because Poland is not one of the jury pets and we always do better at televote).
The jury votes, I'll leave it to your own interpretation. Whether it was marketing (the bookmaker odds overhyped Sweden to the ridiculous degree as well, it could also be a marketing strategy), or if they were paid. Who knows? There is no proof for anything, but to me the blatant promotion of the song was pretty clear.
To me Loreen is no one special and because of this whole hype around her I just can't look at her, I avoid everything related to her, and didn't even want to look at her performance. I'm not the person to send someone hate, however. I just avoid what I dislike. I love Käärijä, so all my attention goes to him. Indeed, Sweden ruined it all, because without them even the televote could be different. Many people mass voted for Finland trying to beat Sweden (they were probably tired of the whole promotion of this song, too). I think Käärijä would still win the televote without Sweden playing dirty, but without such a huge advantage. Would Loreen be 2nd though? I'm not so sure. Every person I talk to, says that the song is nothing special.
Next year I'm definitely not going to vote. When there's a good song, I'll just stream that artist on Spotify and support them on social media. This year we were proven that even great artists can score very little points, so this whole Eurovision ranking is for bragging rights only. Nothing else than that. Just being there is good for every artist, because they get huge exposure.
So it really doesn't matter if we vote for them or not. It only matters if they go there. That's it.
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lesenbyan · 3 years
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oh I'm gonna get emotional this rewatch, huh?
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tamcitrus · 4 years
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Dream night.
pairing | Oikawa Tooru x f! reader.
The Seijoh 3rd years are here too.
words | 1192.
warnings | swearing, mentions of sex, intense make out (?)
This is so self indulgent I want to cry. Sebastian I hope you never read this (?)
Here we go girls, @for-ests , @vventure , @dorkyama . Find Yue in the fic challenge (?)
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Professors, assistants and even a few authorities were having a fun night with music and alcohol as celebration for the university 50th anniversary. You and your friend were both assistants for the same class and luckily you were invited to the party.
You went there that night decided to get someone. The cute and smart anatomy teacher's assistant, Oikawa Tooru.
When you took the anatomy class a year ago, you never thought to find such nice guy. You put extra effort so he would notice you and all your doubts were asked to him and not the teacher. He was so nice. He was always smiling and willing to explain things several times if needed. When the professor couldn't make it and he explained the whole class, you sat in the front row. When he was just as an assistant, he would sit close to you and you were pretty sure it was no accident. There were hands than lingered a few more seconds than necessary when exchanging papers, shy smiles between explanations, chitchats before or after class. You always thought it was a vivid fantasy, a one sided attraction between a student and his semi-teacher. Maybe you read too many novels.
The music was loud. You had two or three drinks with your colleagues. And you saw him, you ran into him several times in the night, on purpose.
"You're giving it too much thought," your friend said. "Just go for it, live the dream!" she said and pointed where he was standing at the bar.
So you did. You walked to the bar and took one extra step so you hit his hip with yours.
"I'm sorry! Are you ok?" you said innocently and watched as he smiled when his eyes reached your face.
"Yeah, all good. We seem to be running into each other a lot tonight," he commented.
"Yes, we are indeed," you laughed.
"Y/n-chan, right? Sorry I can't remember your last name," he offered you a beer.
"But you remember me. Just y/n is ok. And thanks for the beer, Oikawa-kun."
"You can call me Tooru, and of course I remember you!" he smiled again, the same warm smile you remembered from your classes. "So… what if we run into each other again, at the bathroom that's inside the office at the end of the gym?"
You choked on your beer and looked at him. He really said that with a straight face, uh?
"Only if you want! I'll be there in mmm… let's say in 15 minutes?" he took a strand of your hair out of your face and you hoped he couldn't see the blush on your cheeks.
"I'd like that, yeah. Let's run into each other again then," you said confidently, trying to hide your evident blush.
He left to dance with his group again, as if nothing happened. You did the same and make sure to keep an eye on your watch frequently. When the 15 minutes finally passed, you walked to the office trying not to attract attention.
“Oh, I thought for a second you weren't coming,” he said as he closed the door behind you. “May I?”
You got ahead of him and put your lips over his. He walked you inside the tiny bathroom without breaking the contact and closed another door. His hands were grabbing your hips firmly and he pushed you against the cold wood of the entrance. One of his hands made his way down your leg, caressing your thigh. You pulled his hair when he bit your bottom lip and both of you took the opportunity to catch your breath.
"I really thought you were going to ask for my number or something, but then you passed the class and just disappeared," he said.
"I thought it was just me and my imagination!" you explained. "I didn't think you'd pay attention to me."
"All the times I needlessly touched your hand or found an excuse to talk to you, it didn't ring a bell or something?" he was really outraged.
"No bells on my brain, sorry," you giggled. "I'll make it up for you, if you want. Just kiss me, now."
He obeyed and kissed you again. Your hands were under his shirt, touching his skin and toned abs. God damn, he had a strong build. His kisses went down your chin and then your neck, sucking softly on the skin there. You put a hand over your mouth to suppress a moan.
"Let me hear you, y/n-chan… the music is loud outside, you don't have to worry," he pinched your nipple over your dress and you hissed. "You're so pretty when you blush."
You moved a leg between his and pressed your thigh against his crotch. He was sucking on your neck and massaging your breasts with one hand at the same time he used the other to raise your dress and squeeze your ass. Your hands undid his pants' button and you stroke his dick over his underwear. He grunted at the touch and guided your hand inside his clothes so you were in contact with his skin. 
"Fuck," he whispered when he felt your hand jerking him.
You smiled and kissed him. His fingers were pulling down your underwear and circling your clit a second after. You bit his lip when he teased your slit with the tip of his dick.
"Don't… please just…" your words didn't make sense.
"I know, I know y/n," he knew you had little to no time.
When he was about to push himself inside you, a loud knock on the door startled you both.
"I don't think he's here, Iwa. I don't think they leave this open for anyone to come and fuck here, the bathroom must be locked," a guy said. Oikawa recognized Makki's voice.
"Where the fuck is he then?" Iwaizumi huffed.
"Maybe he left with someone," that was Mattsun. "Let's enjoy the party."
You were frozen until you finally heard the office door shut. You sighed loudly.
"I'm sorry, that kinda kill the mood," he laughed.
"Maybe we can just continue this somewhere else," you suggested and tried to recompose yourself.
You both tried to arrange your clothes and hair.
"I'd suggest we go to my place but I live with the idiots that just left," he said, disappointed.
"I live alone. And near here," you smiled. "Do you think we can get to the street without anyone stopping us in the way out?" you couldn't treat with people if you were horny.
"I'm not sure but we better try it!" he laughed. He was trying to hide the obvious bulge in his pants.
"Let me call an uber and then we go," you grabbed your purse from the floor and took your phone.
When you saw the car was coming, you made your way out and a higher force up there granted your wish not to be disturbed. Maybe at your place you wouldn't be interrupted.
"Can I have your number now, Tooru?" you asked when you both arrived your home.
Oikawa laughed out loud but he nodded anyway.
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champagnesupermama · 5 years
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I'm ending a toxic relationship with my parents and sister
On Sunday, September 23, my mother very deliberately started an argument with me. Or, at the very least, chose to tell me that a Facebook post I made about Brett Kavanaugh w toas wrong simply because I used the word fuck in it. She was aggressively contrary and nit-picked everything I said up until she found the opportunity to bring up my Facebook post.
Here is the Facebook post:
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When I said it was un-American to believe that a sitting president is above being investigated, she did what all Fox News Watching Trump Fans do: Cry Obama. She complained about how he never got investigated and when I pointed out that he never did anything illegal and that Republicans had the chance to do it for school years she reverted to crying and asking when I became a hater. SECONDS after that, my dad yelled out that Obama is a Nazi N******.
I told them that I was going to let them take care of themselves the rest of the day, that I still loved them, and that I would talk to them later.
I went and told my partner about it, waking him up to do so, and he was supportive and generally perfect. And I told him then that I was pretty emotionally wiped out and at that point I only feared losing their financial support because I've never had their emotional support or approval. And then the concept came about that if they did withdraw that support, that I would be free in a way I hadn't been before. That all the anxiety I had about talking to them or going to see them would be gone because they would have nothing to hold over me any more. And then I started remembering the emotional abuse I went through with them as a child.
I remember:
Any time when I was talking and then any one of them would just interrupt and talk over me like I was on mute. One day when I was 10 or 12 I snapped and tried to assert myself. I think to Angela. I said that everyone always talked over me and it was rude. I’m pretty sure we were at McDonald’s. Everyone was mad at me and told me that it wasn’t true and to shut up. Angela continued.
She, my dad, my sister, brother in law, nieces, and their husbands are all Pro-Trump.
The only time Dad took me out shooting with him and Angela; I was maybe six or seven, very little, I always was. I was holding the box of bullets and I lost my balance trying to get out of the truck and lots of the bullets fell on the ground and Dad just WENT OFF on me and I had to pick them all up. I didn’t get to practice shooting that day or any other with Dad. He never took me out again.
I remember Mom telling me once when I was in my 20s, after I told her I always felt unwanted and isolated by the family that it was because of me. That even as a young child I “didn’t need [them]” I was not equipped at the time to question either to myself or her how or why or when I knew that I had to dissociate from them.
I remember a time when Mom’s aunt Fleta and cousin Anna Lou was visiting and Mom had recently made Angela and I matching dresses and they told her to go put hers on and when she came out they made over how pretty she was. I would have been 8 to 10 years old at the time so Angela was 12 to 14. I got up and went and put mine on and came out. I even did this exaggerated courtesy when I came out. No one said anything to me. At all. I was so embarrassed. I went and sat down and tried to be really still for a long time so that they wouldn’t notice when I got up and went and changed again.
I remember that Angela could go and make up something naughty that I did and they would believe her and I would be punished.
I remember that Angela’s cat was neutered and mine was dumped in the country.
I remember practicing piano when I was six and Mom sat with me and I was very uncertain and slow about the next note to play and she was singing along and she started yelling at me about how a singer would run out of breath and die trying to accompany me.
I remember Mom telling me that everything I was ever interested in doing as a career was something I would fail at because I wasn’t good at it or cut out for it. I remember showing her things I wrote and it was always inadequate, bad, or generally not good enough. The embroidery I did was sloppy. I was a beginner at all these things but I don’t remember encouraging words.
I remember Angela trying to tell me I was adopted because my hair was so light and I didn’t look like Mom or Dad. I look like my dad's mother who died before I was born.
I remember Angela ranting at me about how she was punished with a belt but Mom and Dad never did that to me. She even insinuated that I saw it and laughed. I have no such memory. And I don’t believe that as a toddler I would have laughed if I heard another person crying out in pain.
I remember Angela telling me when she was pregnant with Kristal (I was 12, she was 16) that the reason she acquiesced to sex with Todd was because she needed the attention that everyone gave me.
I remember that my sister is a liar.
I remember Angela telling me that I was Mom’s favorite and she was Dad’s favorite. I remember never feeling like anyone’s favorite.
I see now and have for years that Mom makes multiple quilts a year for assorted family members and has even donated some to the church but she has made 2 for Kirah and 1 for me in my life and that 1 quilt she made for me was one that DeWayne and I picked out when I was pregnant with Kirah. She finished it when Kirah was 11 years old and was upset that I didn’t want it. She couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want a quilt that I picked out with a man who also emotionally abused me. I mean, of course she couldn’t. On another sewing project for Kirah she took years to complete it. The prints that Kirah had chosen at the age of 6 were no longer so attractive to her when she was 10.
At their 50th wedding anniversary Dad danced with Mom, of course, and Angela. Not me. It’s true that there were technical difficulties with the sound system and that made it late before we could get to these songs. It’s also true that it was later in the evening and people were drawing Dad off to the side to talk to him. It’s also true that no one seemed to have any expectation that Dad would dance with me, and he easily forgot or dismissed any such attention. That happened just a couple of months ago.
I do remember when I painted flowers on a clear glass plate and entered it into a city wide contest when I was 10 or 11 and and didn’t win that Mom felt that I had been robbed because she thought it was a lovely piece. I do remember when I was 27 or so and Byron Boles had tried to accuse me of stealing a ring and my parents believed in me. I do remember them being supportive of me when the bullying I went through in Holy Name reached its peak when I was in the 5th grade and they pulled me out and put me into Longfellow school. I don’t think they knew it was really happening until the teacher was a participant. But these things are minimal requirements for parents and not enough. After all, I felt compelled to ask Dad if he believed I did it because I never could rely 100% on Dad taking my part in something. He never had before.
I remember never feeling like I was loved just for being there and being theirs.
As of 9/30/18 I’m cutting ties. Dad sent me a text that I would have to start paying my student loans again even though they know it will be financially devastating for us. They know I can't even afford health insurance. He says it’s a hardship for them. I guess I can’t blame them. Except I was unsure about going to college anyway because I had no direction and St. Mary's  of Leavenworth provided no career counseling or placement, and when I said I wanted to go to a state University, my parents insisted that I remain at the private school. I didn't even know I was signing papers for a loan that would have to be paid back for the first two years. I thought it was student aid. I signed what they told me to.
For anyone who bothered to read all of this, assuming you are also trying to survive or heal from emotional abuse, don't feel guilty for how you are surviving the fall out of that abuse. Don't let yourself feel tied to your abusers for any reason. I have 43 years of experience that whatever kind thing they may be doing for you is just as conditional as any sign of love or affection they have ever given or withheld.
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