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evilminji · 4 months

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Thinking About Ghost Writer's Library ( o.o)

Yeah, that's right folks! It's ya girl! Back on her bullshit, with PONDERING TIME. But like? GW? Is AT BEST? Somewhere around Victorian or Edwardian, given his aesthetic, right? And? Granted! It COULD be, he just vibes SUPER HARD with this Hot New Look(tm).

But like?

He is Baby.

They basically ALL are Baby. It's the... no, A(!) Baby area of the Zone. A place where sentient life is JUST sort of beginning to happen. On the COSMIC, INTERDIMENSIONAL, scale of things. What, after all, is a MERE few millenia? When the average is counting things by Eons? And even WORSE? When your ENTIRE COUNTRY and HISTORY is? What... CENTURIES?

Zygote. You are not but an infant. Back to daycare with you.

Which of course, leads the baby sitters. Even the occasional Adult. SOMEONES got to watch them. But it's not like THEY want to volunteer their eternity. They have Obsessions to follow. And there are A LOT of Baby Zone's to watch! More forming every day! The great dance of Life And Death etc etc, Yada yada!

Who's being punished? Make them do it! *Clockworks in long term plan*

But! Not the point here! Though fascinating to consider! The POINT? GW->Baby. His Library? Larger then then any Earth libraries, yes. But! Still SMALL. A BABY'S collection of books! Still growing. And for all his bragging and posturing? FAR from the Zone's BEST Library.

It likely doesn't even get to make the LONG FORM list.

Which Danny? Who is STILL banned? Quickly figures out. Because? Amity Library is... DECENT. It's working with the funding It's gotten dispite the damage ghost fights have done. Danny loves that library. He does. But... he also? Kinda has run out of things to READ.

And like HELL is he gonna BEG to enter GHOST WRITER'S Lair. Mister "Love Christmas or I'll torture you with it" can SUCK [REDACTED] and shove it up his [REDACTED BUT WITH VIOLENCE THIS TIME]. So? He asks, vaguely of course, Mr. Ho the librarian what he should do.

The man practically froths at the mouth at the thought that there is some BASTARD denying children books over PETTY PERSONAL BULLSHIT. Wants to meet this guy out back. "Talk books". Mr. Ho is like a bazillion years old and a tiny grandpa, he's amazing and Danny STILL kinda wants to be him when he grows up.

But since Danny won't let him deck Ghost Writer. He shows him how too look up other libraries in the area. Which... sparks An Idea(tm). He thanks his favorite librarian and races home. Makes a Bee Line for the Far Frozen.

Can he LOOK at the Infinity Map, Frostbite? He knows taking it is only for Important Events, but... why, you ask? Well...*explains*

Which is how he ends up, with a pen and paper, watching Trained Yeti Map Makers(tm) quickly sprawling out Map after Map, as Frostbite (who is apparently the only one AUTHORIZED to do this, who knew?) formally asks the Map in? Weirdly specific and oddly phrased ways, for the best libraries? Huh?

Ooooh! Frostbite is authorized because he's the only one TRAINED in the exact workings of the Map. Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. When Danny was using it, it dragged him at like Mach bajillion all over the place and he had to keep rephrasing things.

So? He can go now, right? Since he has the directions?

What do you mean "not quite"?

Danny finds out he needs an "Adult Escort". Because he is Baby. And much like children can not fly to Peru alone from halfway across the globe, so too, they can not LEAVE the baby zones to travel through Adult Territories where they could get Ended by accident, WITHOUT Adult supervision. Safety first!

D:< He just wants BOOKS!

Fine! Clockwork is old as BALLS! Older probably! He's LITERALLY TIME! How's THAT for OLD, huh?! Can he GO NOW!? He just wants to check out their ghostly sci-fi section! He's curious AF! He bets they have ALIEN Sci-fi! Come oooooooon!

Clockwork, of course, let's himself be dragged along. Because this is hilarious. AND going to terrify so, SO many assholes. Which is Funny :)

Danny gets his library card to *Unpronouncable without several neck bones humans do not have*, which is the size of Jupiter's BIGGER BROTHER. It isn't even the "Best" library. Just the closest. Danny has a manic... everything, the Fenton blood is strong with this one. So Many Booooooooks~!

And yeah, school books or whatever, probably a great learning resource.

BUT THE SCI-FI AND COMICS SECTION! It goes on for MILES! LITERAL MILES! *incoherent noises of joy*

Needless to say, the Librarians think he's ADORABLE. Such an eager reader! And so SMALL! A BABY! Look at his lil hands~! Be careful with the books, okay sweetie? Oh heck yeah! He WILL be!

And obviously? He gaurds those books with his LIFE. That's his Premium VIP Celebrity Gucci Bespoke Comics of The Multiverse Access! You'll have to pry it from his multi-dead, still smoking, Ended 5Ever hands!

The problem with THIS is?

Even with careful book covers? Those are CLEARLY glowing books. Like... day glow. Unnaturally glowing. The OTHER problem, is UNLIKE that baby GW? Adults can make their books multilingual. OMNILINGUAL. Is this book in French? Or Ainu? Yes. If it's YOUR language, then that's what you're reading in. Is it a bit clunky at times? With things that don't translate well, having to be explained in side notes? Yes. But better then not being able to read them at all!

And of course, comfort and repetition breed mistakes. You get too used to doing something. Forget you're supposed to be HIDING it. Maybe you go to college. Maybe the world moves on. You bring down a government agency with your friends. Become an infant king, much to the unspeakable alarm of the adults who SHOULD have been watching and protecting you. Maybe you have WORDS with them. Who's to say.

You're tired. It's been a long month.

You just want your coffee and a snacky lil treat. Something yummy for the you. Surely you've earned it, right? You've been good. So you take your sweet new alien sci-fi epic, your scrunkly feral Racoon lookin self, and you crawl like the half dying man you are. Towards the sweet relief of sugar and caffeine. Pride? You don't know her. Gib the coffee or you bite.

Unfortunately! There is some shitty "the Youth Today blah blah blah, let try and catch them of gaurd with loaded questions to prove my point and make a whole generation look dumb" reporter on campus. You see them out of the corner of your eye. They clearly think you are the weak link.

They are making their way towards you, mic raised.

Ah. Tragic, they have chosen death.

Before they can reach you, you raise your voice and not so much throw them under a bus, as drive the bus over THEM. Because THIS Coffee shop is the Punk hangout spot. And you've made casual friendly acquaintances with the six foot something, Sam clone from Scotland, whose life goal seems to be "Fight God".

And THESE fine folk DEFINITELY want an interview :) Have Fun, Thorn!

Needless to say, the clips go viral. With Danny sitting in the background, coffee and muffin achieved. Minding his business. Reading his glowing book. Which everyone ignores, on campus. Because EVERYONE knows Danny can make things glow! It's his weird minor power. Some lab accident in his teen years. NBD

But like... no body ELSE "knows" that. So it attracts attention.

Which would be FINE.... if he was reading an EARTH book.

But he's NOT.

And someone recognizes it.

Maybe it's Martian. Kryptonian. Could be Asgardian. Depends on the crossover you want! Because it could be ANY crossover! Lost books. Not just the Great Classics(tm) that people like to save. But the silly ones. The small ones. The equivalent of dime store novels and cheap drug store comics. Children's books. Banned books. The things Powerful People tried to erase from history itself. The things TIME tried to erase, with the fall of nations and the coming of war.

The destruction of worlds.

All of it there.

Imagine it. Standing on a planet, far from the world that was once your home, KNOWING in your heart that everything is gone. Everyone. That NOTHING but what you carry with you remains. And looking up one day to see, in the background of some average and silly video? Not "War and Peace" or "Great Expectations" or some other likely exported peice... but? Some youth reading that overly dramatic trashy sci-fi book that your cousins wouldn't stop raving about. The ones all the adults were SICK of hearing about.

It would NEVER have passed the bar for export.

It was silly and embarrassing but culturally significant.

It's... it's right there.

How?

Wouldn't the desperation that fills you be suffocating? Are there others? Is that an original? How is it here? How can he READ it? Who taught him? Who IS he? Is he one of us? Where? How? HOW?! Please. PLEASE!

And Danny? Would have no idea! :)c it's great~

@hdgnj @hypewinter @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe

#dpxdc #dpxmarvel #dpxanybody #dp prompt #go nuts folks #minji ponderings

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genericpuff · 2 months

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I wonder why christian misrepresentation are rarely talked about if compared to other religion misrepresentation. Like, I've seen people really vocal about Greek myths misrepresentation in LO and such (and it's valid because it's a culture and religion) but I rarely saw the same thing with christian even though there are many media who use christian religion innacurately, to the point where it comes off as using it as an aesthetic and not a proper religion.

Is it because of rampant religious trauma especially in western world? No ulterior motives on this question. I'm not a christian and yet I'm curious about this. I apologize if this sounds harsh.

I obviously don't have The Answer(tm) to this but personally speaking (and I'm about to get VERY personal here so take this with MOUNTAINS OF SALT), I think it's just the obvious - Christian mythology is one of the most well-documented and strongly protected out of virtually any other religion on the planet. Especially here in the West, it's commonplace for kids to go to Sunday school, for couples to have Christian weddings even if they're not practising Christians themselves, even the American anthem references the Christian God. It's simply not as easy to 'misrepresent' it because the representation is written into our very fabric of society. Even Greece itself is primarily made up of Orthodox Christians.

So anyone that does 'misrepresent' it are either completely mislead hardcore Christians, or people who are doing it intentionally, such as with the intent to make a parody of it or to deconstruct it through a different context or whatever have you. And of course, people will still get mad at those things, if you're implying that people aren't vocal about Christian misrepresentation then frankly IDK what to tell you there LOL If you want a contextual example in the realm of webtoons, Religiously Gay was dragged to hell and back during its launch for having a very crude and insulting depiction of St. Michael, and frankly, yeah I don't disagree because what the fuck is this-

(like at best it's just terrible character design lmao that said, there's also plenty else to criticize Religiously Gay for, including its fetishy representation of gay relationships and the fact that it's still just the "naive person who looks and acts like a child hooks up with mean person in a position of power" trope, blech, but the character design is definitely the first thing you notice)

There are even plenty of hardcore Christians who will deadass claim "misrepresentation" over things that ARE factually correct but they just haven't read the actual Bible and simply cherry pick what works for their own agenda. And of course those people are routinely called out by people like myself who know for a fact that Jesus wouldn't have promoted the war crimes that many modern day Christians are committing and justifying today. So it really depends on the definition of "misrepresentation" here.

The issue specifically with LO and Rachel that I personally call her out for (and many others) is that she's called herself a "folklorist" and claimed she's so much more knowledgeable on Greek myth than anyone else, while making a complete mockery of the original mythologies while not being honest about her intent as to whether LO is actually supposed to be a legitimate retelling OR a parody (because it sure acts like the latter more than the former, but she still seems to expect us to take it seriously and consider her knowledge of Greek myth superior?) Which leads to a lot of her teenage audience claiming shit like "Persephone went down to the underworld willingly" and "Apollo did assault Persephone in the original myths actually" and the classic "why would Lore Olympus lie or make up fake myths?"

You just can't pull off this extent of erasure with Christian mythology because we have a whole ass book of it that's been preserved, sold on shelves, and systematically integrated into society for thousands of years. Of course, there are people who will still try their damned best to twist the Bible to match their own bigotry with the whole "Jesus hates gays" bullshit (he would never), but it's met with equal amounts of 'misrepresentation' that are actually fully well-read and are intentionally subverting and changing things to either critique, parody, or restore the original intent of a lot of stories in the Bible without all the manufactured right-wing crap.

Greek myth, on the other hand, has some stories that are well preserved, and others, not so much. And in the modern day outside of the poems and hymns, you'll also rarely, if ever, see anyone use stories from Greek myth to ostracize, torture, and murder other people. "Misrepresenting Christianity" is more often done by actual Christians who are using the Bible to commit hate crimes than the people who have actually read the Bible and are just taking creative liberties with it for the sake of deconstructing / parodying / analyzing / subverting it. Veggie Tales "misrepresents" Christian stories because obviously Moses wasn't a fucking cucumber lmao but it still accomplishes its goal by retelling Christian stories in a way that's fun and educational for children.

By comparison (on the whole, I'm not comparing LO to Veggie Tales LMAO) LO just isn't clear in its intentions beyond Rachel's initial statements that she was trying to "deconstruct" the myths, while labelling herself as a folklorist. Therefore, I'm going to criticize how she does it because the way she's done it up until now has been very mishandled and has resulted in a lot of misinterpretations of the myths simply for the sake of fandom. And yes, these people exist in Christian media as well - they're called TV evangelists.

And that's my (very heavy) two cents.

#here's your reminder that missionaries are colonizers #find me the Hellenistic pagans knocking on people's doors asking them if they want to hear about the glory of Aphrodite lmao #honestly it also depends on what you're surrounding yourself with #obv if you take part in the LO fandom and avoid what's going on in the christian world then what you experience and see will seem skewed #like even i could be very wrong in my opinion based on my own experiences as someone who lives in the west-#maybe there ARE pagans knocking on doors and using greek myth to commit hate crimes #so yeah we all gotta try not to fall for survorship bias #there are plenty of stories of people getting mad about christian mythology and its misrepresentations on BOTH sides #lo critical #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #webtoon critical #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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sleepykyupid · 27 days

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original callout post is by @menheratic !! if you want more info, please ask them. i am merely reuploading the original callout post of ezaki. please do check out the link of the jp community calling him out in 2019 ^^ https://togetter.com/li/1327770

! The following post talks about the various bad things that Menhera-chan's creator, Ezaki Bisuko, has done.

Here a japanese summary of all the shit he did so far, including but not limited to:

• registering Yamikawaii as trademark

• sending his fans after gyaru YouTuber Usatani to harass her into a suicide attempt over unknowingly buying a shirt with stolen PPG fanart he drew

• himself buying products with stolen art, even promoting their sales, because it’s totally ok when he does it

• the reason why Usatan’s original design was changed aka it was a ripoff of Cult Party’s iconic rabbit mascot that was designed by their artist Maromika-chan

• wrote a whole guide on how to legally get away with sex work as child

• proof of him tracing art for the more detailed MCH artworks

• how he attended the Menhera Exhibit only to smear misogynist bullshit with blood on maxipads

• complaining about how anime for little girls are evil feminist agenda TM because ain’t nobody need men to be saved anymore

• boasting about being a fashion designer only selecting the finest fabrics for his merch when it’s actually made by the japanese equivalent of Redbubble

• “parody” works featuring child characters like Chibi Maruko-chan prostituting themself, the message being all women are whores regardless of age for the right amount of money

• the small “terms and conditions” shield he has at his con booths where you agree that you need to buy anything you touch

• how he setup an earthquake victim fundraiser only to keep the money

• telling his english fans they are not allowed to use any of his art for private use, like as icon, unless they pay him

• how he wants to move to the US when he turns 30 because of all the evil haters TM in Japan

• copyright claiming everyone left and right

• japanese Menhera speaking out about he keeps hurting the community

In regards of the maxi pads:

TW, CW // nooses, misogynistic text in red on maxipads

Our favorite being the second row second one, “Abortion is murder”.

Some more recent event: When he started harassing and hating on disabled people after Tokyo Fashion translated a Tweet of his because being disabled is discriminating yourself.

It’s like a trainwreck that refuses to end, now with 100% more crypto on NFT while shitting on those who warn about the dangers.

His NFT sales can be found here: https://foundation.app/@bisuko_ezaki

For some reason, after 7 years, he also decided to re-release the infamous wrist-cut bracelet to sell at events. The leader of the Neo-Decora group bought one for example:

TW // Bracelet that imitates sh, includes blood

Also keeps doing collabs with “Tokyo Uragawa” under Yamiko so Seigi (Mental illness is justice), which focuses on self-harming girls as fetish objects.

TW, CW // drawn sh

Recently, he also wrote a long-article on his definition of Yamikawaii:

https://harajuku-pop.com/67775/

Still not sure where overseas people got “this is about mental health awareness” from, might be based on mistranslations because the word for mental health and illness is one in the same, and his definition is about glorifying mental illness. In fact, this is why he was banned from Tumblr because he kept posting other people’s self-harm photos to his aesthetic blog Menherabusu.

Next up: Made suicide baiting posts over his following decreasing in the hopes of getting attention, fans sent him photos of cute animals to cheer him up, and he decided to post about destroying the pictures.

Tbh, this list could go on forever as he does this kind of bs on an almost daily basis now, but apparently people don’t care enough to stop throwing money at him.

Meanwhile the Japanese community made a whole Wiki for tracking all of his drama considering how much it is by now.

https://ezabisumatome.wiki.fc2.com/

TW // mention of shotacon

Decided to nickname himself Shotabi, the name being a combination of Shotacon and Bisuko, while using nsfw anime edits of male child characters in sexual situations as decor for his selfies.

𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝:

Is it ok to still like Menhera-chan?

𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫:

Sure, the problem is really only Ezaki himself and his increasing problematic remarks fueled by his ego, the manga is a lot older than him being like that.

Fun fact: Ezaki actually hates Menhera-chan because it's the only thing he ever gets approached for by the media, he constantly rants about this on Twitter. If you have noticed, he barely makes new MCH content anymore (unless he gets paid for it) and mainly reposts old artworks and fanart (without permission) instead because it's the only way he can still get attention as his other works, like the misogynist Manapisu, which is just him hating on women as "dumb wh*res" as a manga, flopped badly.

Just try to not fund his bs by buying new goods.

#menhera #menhera chan #bisuko ezaki #archived #yamikawaii

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andrevasims · 10 months

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TS2 CAS Clown CC Masterlist

I’ve been scouring forums, blog archives, Pinterest boards, etc. to piece together “clowncore” for The Sims 2, and if anyone else is interested in the same aesthetic as me I’ve compiled this list to save you the same trouble!

I’ll probably continue adding to it over time, as I find more things or as new stuff gets shared. So consider it a permanent work in progress :P

This is also limited to CAS only, as tracking down circus build/buy is a whole other adventure lol (though you can find a lot at the 3t2 Database)

Under a read-more cause it got really long, and also if I add/change anything you’ll be able to see the most recent version.

— CLOTHING ———————— ———————— — — — — —

AF Tutu Outfit / Morphs Added / GothicNCasual RCs / Pooklet RCs / SalixTree RCs: 1 | 2 | 3 / Bosie RCs

AF Tutu Outfit Shoeswap

AF Ballerina Tutu Outfits

AF Victorian Ballerina Outfits / Sussi RC

AF Sheer Ball Gown Outfit / JoeBart622 RCs

AF Corset/Tutu Outfit RCs (couldn’t find BobbyTheHacker’s original)

AF Alice Madness Returns Dress Conversion / Direct Links: 1 | 2

AF Alice Madness Returns Caterpillar Dress Conversion

3t2 Bountiful Bows Dress Outfit: TF-AF / Keoni RCs | TF | CF | Top-Only

AF Victorian Pants Bottoms Separated/Shoeswap

AF Legwarmer Bottoms

TF-AF Tutu Bottoms / MissSneezy RCs / SkyWookiee RCs / BlackFairy RCs / Katsurin RCs

AM Tutu Bottoms / TM Conversion

TU-AU TSM Jester Outfit

PU-EU Jester Outfit

CU-EU Rainbow Suit Outfit

TF-EF 3t2 Carnival Dancer Outfit

TF-AF 3t2 Carnival Dancer Outfit Shoeswap

PU-CU Freetime Clown Outfit Conversion

PU-AU Clown Outfit / SFS Folder

AU 4t2 Clown Outfit

CU Bloody Jester Outfit Base Game RC

AF Harley Quinn Outfit Base Game RC

AM-EM Bloody Clown Outfit Freetime RC

AM Joker Outfit Base Game RC

TM Puppet Outfit Base Game RC

— ACCESSORIES ———————— ———————— — — —

PU-EU Birthday Hat

PU-EU TSM Jester Hat

AM Jester Hood/Mask / Direct Link (the “JokerAcc” folder)

TU-AU Jester Mask

AU-EU Masky Mask

TU-EU Neck Ruffle

AF Ruff

AF Bow Headband

TU-EU Tutu

PU-EU Duck Feet Boots

CU-EU Fuzzy Cuffs & Legwarmers

DeditalSheep / SFS Folder:

NOTE - All the links on DeditalSheep’s site appear to be broken, but you can still see preview photos on the site, then download them via the SFS folder.

• PU-EU Clown Nose / SimHow RCs

• PU-EU Jester Hat / Meshy RCs

• PU-EU Clown Hat

• PU-EU Halloween Clown Hat

— MAKEUP ————————— — — — — — — — — — —

PU-EU Stars Makeup / SFS Folder

PU-EU Full Face Paint Freetime RCs

PU-EU Full Face Paint

PU-EU 4t2 & 3t2 Full Face Paint

PU-EU Goth Clown Full Face Paint

PU-EU Joker Full Face Paint

PU-EU Puppet Full Face Paint

PU-EU Clown Eyeshadow

PU-EU Harlequin Mask

“JC” Eyeshadow

Alice in Wonderland Eyeshadow

Big Colorful Eyeshadow

1980s Eyeshadow

Goth Mime Eyeshadow

Crow-Inspired & Partial Lipstick

Heart-Shaped Lipstick

Two-Toned Lipstick

— HAIR ——————————— — — — — — — — — — —

PU-AU Daislia Jester Hood

PU-EU 3t2 Choppy Hair

PF-EF 3t2EP11 Waves

YF-EF Wicked_Sims Lolita Curls

TF-EF Coolsims 91

PF-EF LeahLillith CandyCotton

PF-EF LeahLillith Harley

PF-EF LeahLillith June

TF-EF Nouk Huge Double Ponytail

PF-EF Coolsims 67

PM-EM Anto Thorns

PM-EM Peggy 004870

PM-EM Raccoonium Hayner

— SIMS ——————————— — — — — — — — — — —

AM Sim “Wally the Tragic Clown”

AM Sim TS1 Tragic Clown

AM Sim “Trashy the Clown”

AF Sim “The Red Queen”

AM Sim BrassTex

AM & AF Sim “New Rage Goths”

AF Sim “Goth Jesta”

#sims 2 cc #cc rec #others sims #accessory #hair #female hair #male hair #clothes #female clothes #male clothes #makeup #cc guide #masterlist

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cthulhu-with-a-fez · 1 year

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Hey how do u know if u wanna be a boy in a cis way or a trans way? I’m a girl btw

alright so i'm gonna preface this by saying that i'm... probably not the best authority on What Makes A Man(TM), considering that i'm not one, and that no answer i give is going to catch every relevant topical nuance? but i know i've talked a bit in the tags about my personal blend of cis+ gender-woogity, so i'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that's what you're asking about!

it got pretty long, so i put it under the cut :D

there's two ways i tend to approach my assessment of my gender, which for purposes of this ask let's call "diagnostic" and "diegetic".

the diagnostic approach is more or less what it sounds like - comparing and contrasting what i understand gender to be, denotatively and connotatively and culturally, with what my sense of my own gender is, and trying to figure out what feels closest to me and why. this has been influenced pretty heavily by two posts i've seen floating around over the years but can't for the life of me find right now.

one of them is just a quote to the effect of "consistently wishing you were a different gender is a pretty strong indicator of being that gender." and it makes sense, right? human intuition, gut feeling like that, is made of a million little deductions about the world relative to yourself that you don't consciously process all of, but which make themselves known however they can. if you're a girl but you keep finding yourself thinking "man, i wish i was a boy," that might be your brain doing behind-the-scenes pattern recognition about being a boy and trying to flag your attention towards it.

which isn't to say that it's an infallible tell, gut feelings are not always correct, let alone accurate! even when they are, you're getting, like. fortune cookie amounts of information about things that might require thesis paper amounts. but that's where you have to take a level in metacognition and think about why you think about or respond to something the way you do. or, to quote discworld,

“First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome. Listening to them is part of witchcraft.”

― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

figuring out the why of your own responses is good for tons of non-gender-related reasons, but it's especially helpful with those kind of vague but persistent I Feel A Way About This thoughts. if you're a girl and you keep thinking "man, i wish i were a boy", there's a lot of reasons you might think that! for legit gender reasons, yeah, but it might also be "i wish i were a boy because their clothes look better" or "i wish i were a boy because then i wouldn't get cat-called" or "because they get paid more" or "because no one assumes they can't pick up heavy things" or more. some of them are aesthetic things, some of them are cultural misogyny things, all of them are relevant and valid! but it also makes it a little harder to tell how heavily gender-weighted they are in general - you can be mad about the pay gap and and explore a more masculine silhouette while still robustly being a woman.

(though, pro tip about the clothes? regardless of your genderfeel, men's section jeans are where it's at. huge pockets. not made of tissue paper. sized with actual waist/inseam measurements instead of a random number revealed to a women's fashion exec in a vision. cannot recommend them strongly enough. have pocket. be free.)

that brings us to the second post that i regrettably can't find, and another excellent diagnostic tool!

it was a comment written by a trans man in a longer thread about gender identity, talking about something that helped him distinguish between 'cultural misogyny sucks' thoughts and 'i am not a woman' thoughts. he definitely explained it more eloquently, but his rule of thumb was "would this upset me if it happened to me, but not to a female friend?"

for example, if someone holds the door for a girl and calls her "ma'am," all courteous manners, that would probably not be an issue for most women! but if you aren't a woman, or you're starting to not feel like one, it might not feel so comfortable an interaction.

i've learned to use that as a baseline for a problem management system for "i wish i was..." thoughts like those - it really does help to distinguish between external circumstance thoughts wearing a gender envy hat vs actual gender envy thoughts hiding under an external-circumstance hat, especially when there's multiple confounding factors involved. for example, let's go back to the clothes thing for a second!

i've always had a bit of a contentious relationship with clothes shopping, which in hindsight was a combination of personal aesthetic, sensory issues, body image issues, and gender issues. trying to develop my aesthetic was hard, especially back when "department store girls' section" was my only real choice and the best i ever hoped for was a grudging least-worst option just to get it over with. this has since changed! i have experienced presentation euphoria! i have a style now that feels comfortable and makes me happy! but it was a steep climb to get there until i learned how to identify what made the least-worst option least worst and move closer to it.

sometimes it's easy, like "this fabric is soft but the color is hideous" so find a different color, or "it's too tight across the chest because it was designed for someone skinny" so try a different size, or "this is just blatantly not-my-aesthetic" so move on. but sometimes it's "i'm getting steadily more upset trying to find a dress that i don't hate on my body despite them looking and feeling just fine on the hanger," and that one's a little tougher.

because on one hand, part of it really was the body image issues. i don't need to shop plus-size, but there's still something really disheartening about basically every retail outlet's 'normal' size range heavily implying that i'm only barely thin enough to be worth catering to, you know? fatphobia in the fashion industry is a whole different other conversation that we're not having right now, but it heavily contributed to some non-gender-related body dysphoria that's played first-chair tuba in my brain for a long time.

but on the other hand, looking at myself in a mirror wearing a dress and really hating it wasn't entirely about my body in a dress - it was also about my body in a dress. it didn't really click until a good friend of mine invited me to be in their wedding party, and said "we're not doing bridesmaid's dresses, just bridal party colors, wear whatever you feel most comfortable in as long as it matches!" and i spent ten seconds mentally gearing up for another godawful harrowing misery gauntlet of dress shopping -

and then stopped. because.

if i can wear something comfortable.

and a dress isn't.

...... what if i wore a suit?

and lo, i went to men's wearhouse and got slacks and a vest and a buttondown and a tie and it was amazing. i feel so fucking good in that outfit, i feel handsome and classy and confident in a way i literally never once in my life have felt while wearing a dress.

most of the time, people want things or don't-want things for a whole blend of reasons, and if there's one reason yelling loudest (hello, body-dysphoria tuba) it's often hard to tell what the rest of the factors are. but it's really, genuinely worth it to try and figure it out, even if you have to dig through a big old lump of stress and misery to get there - understanding yourself better and accepting what you find will only ever lead to quality-of-life improvements. sometimes it's as simple as refining your aesthetic some more, realizing "i can do better than grudging least-worst options" and navigating towards a wardrobe that you actually like!

but sometimes, it's realizing that your clothes don't make you feel good in the first place because they're expecting a kind of gender performance out of you that you can't comfortably give.

and that's where the "diegetic" part of my self-analysis kicks in.

the definition of "diegetic" is (of sound in a movie, television program, etc.) occurring within the context of the story and able to be heard by the characters. the score of a movie is non-diegetic, whereas the song playing on the radio during a driving scene is. how does this relate to my gender, you might ask?

well... perception.

i can be on as many levels of Advanced Gendermancy as i want, but that's all non-diegetic. myself as i am, occurring within the context of existing in public and able to be seen by the other people out there living life? i'm gonna get perceived as a gender, and i'm gonna get perceived as "girl," with maybe an addition of "... queer?" when i feel like making a statement with flannels. and that's okay with me. it's not a hardship to have people assume i'm a girl, because yeah, i'm a girl! ish! mostly! girl-lite, girl-as-default, noncommittal-wiggly-hand-gesture rounding-down-to-the-closest-answer girl.

but the thing is, i'm a carpenter. blue-collar union carpenter. women comprise... i think 2% of the construction workforce in my area. which means that just by existing on-site, i'm making all the guys remember that the gender binary exists because there's now a "them" for them to be an "us" about. i get called "miss kelly" like that's my whole name by the guys from my company who know me, and i get called "young lady" by guys from other companies who don't, and it's all very respectful and courteous, but... i don't want it. what i want is access to the "we're literally all men here so it doesn't even matter that we're men" gender space they have without me, which i can't have, because i am diegetically female in a male-dominated field. and if gender is a fluid, i'm a water balloon deforming under pressure, because the more frequently i get Gendered on-site - even when everyone's been nothing but polite about it, and certainly not intending any insult! - the more stressed-out i get in the same direction as wearing dresses made me feel. it's too much, too constrictive of an expectation that i do not meet, and i don't like it, and you know what helps?

chasing masculine presentation a little harder to make up for it.

being seen and Gendered masculinely, even if it's a little more than i would normally want, feels good because it's balancing the pH of my gender fluid again, and getting to have that is entirely dependent on someone else perceiving you and acting on that perception.

so that's part of it as well, beyond any interior exploration you can do. it isn't just about what you feel like, which is certainly important - it's also about the way people treat you relative to what you feel like. and it's hard, it's really really hard, to figure out what's right for you in that balance, especially if you don't know what's wrong in the first place.

it's like being blindfolded on a beach and told to find wheat grains scattered in the sand by touch alone. you know there's something good out there but not where it is or how to find it, only that you don't have it, and if you find wheat at all it's mixed in with so much sand you can hardly taste it anyway. if you're lucky, you bump into someone who's gone through it already who can take the blindfold off and show you how to sift for wheat instead of just eating a handful of sand and hoping, and that makes it easier, but for every one person like that there's a hundred more who've never had to try to pick wheat out of sand and can't tell the difference anyhow who think you're just not trying hard enough to live off of the """wheat""" you've been given.

i can't really tell you what it feels like to want to be a boy, because i'm not a boy and i don't really want to be? but i can tell you how i worked out the gender that i've got right now, and i hope it helps you anyway.

#answered asks by cwaf #anon asks by cwaf #advanced gendermancy #i'm obviously not trying to Speak For The Trans Community(TM) here i'm just one person trying my best to articulate some stuff #but these are the things that have impacted my gender exploration the hardest #so i hope they're useful tools for you too!#i can't take credit for the sand vs wheat analogy because my datemate came up with it but they said i could use it here #if you do some thinking and discover that you *do* want to be a boy there's a ton of trans resources out there!!#there's a whole community who'd be happy to help guide you if you reach out to them for advice #but this is what i've got for you right now

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spacecolonie · 1 year

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Hello! Do you have any advice with painting? Every time I start I end up just doing lineart with colours underneath, and when I do kindles art it looks kind of like plastic. Am I supposed to merge the two layers and then start shading? What would you recommend?

Hey anon!! I actually do have some advice for that!! I'll shove it under a cut because it got way longer than I thought it would, sorry for the infodump everyone _(:3 」∠)_

quick tl;dr: painting process should consider both personal taste & the desired aesthetic of a painting, & to avoid plastic-y colours, make sure your hues vary within your values (and layer modes are ur friend) ♥

there's a million ways to start paintings & its all down to personal preference -- the end goal for the illustration can often influence the approach you take; a crisp digital painting might call for meticulous layering & sharp edged flats, but if you want something to look like an oil painting, you should try and mimic that process as close as you can! here's some examples:

this is the sketch for my FYR zine piece from last year; i intentionally approached it in a way that looks like traditional underpaintings so that when I worked directly on top, those orange tones would peek through like this:

after doing that undersketch, i manually painted everything -- no fancy layer modes, just me, one layer, and screaming ಥ_ಥ it was hard but it worked for the vibe i wanted!!

now v.s something like this:

simple shapes, roughly blocked in shading that just gets merged and painted over, as well as lots of layer modes on top for those colour changes! this is by far the easier one & the one i'd probably recommend, solely because it lets you keep more control. i go more in depth here on that -- but to quickly answer, i personally block everything (including shading) in before I merge & render!

for the other thing you mentioned, a lot of the times that 'plastic' feeling can come from either a lack of transitional shades or only using white/black for your value tones. this tweet thread (direct image links 1, 2 & 3) by frozensoba demonstrates it incredibly well -- by adding certain colour shifts in your values, it can create extra depth which is what makes stuff look more alive!! don't be afraid to really push it and get wacky

an easy way to add it while you're learning is using gradient maps to add richness in your midtones. It's not perfect since different surfaces & materials diffuse light differently, but adding one at the end of a drawing can help tie everything together. If you can do both at once though it always looks best; here's some very quick 2 minute orbs as an example:

ok I'm almost done (and im so sorry for how long this got... special interest moment TM) -- one last thing is to try varying your brush strokes & adding textures if you want. using only an airbrush or heavily relying on blurring brushes can make things look plastic too; sometimes you want that, but for the times you don't, adding some texture & leaving brush marks in can do a lot!!

lastly, since this is just me rambling, here are some artists that are incredibly talented & i highly recommend looking at for their advice & processes because it will be much more coherent than this:

Marco Bucci -- amazing educational content. if you check out any of these artists, he's the one to look at first imo. his 10 minutes to better painting series is a great place to start

Sinix Design has some amazing tutorials on anatomy & the mechanics of painting! This video & the intermediate part 2 are super

Dao Trong Le -- a veritable goldmine of speedpaints

Bo Chen & any of the riot splash artists. If that's the vibe you're after, you can't go wrong with the LoL splashes as reference

i hope that helps!!!

#tutorial #any time i have the opportunity to barf out art talk i will do it #tysm for the question too ♥#not art #asks

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stackslip · 1 year

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in general. there's this like. hierarchy of acceptable kinks or forms of sexuality in queer art, and even then only when they're Tasteful TM. gore and cannibalism are good in art but only when they're Tasteful And Aesthetic and you can get away with pretending that it's at most a metaphor for sex rather than sexy in its own right. there are acceptable ways of integrating bdsm dynamics in art but if there's too much leather or it's too Vulgar then it's no longer art and it's in fact Gross, and weird. then we get to things that ARE hard to dissociate from kink or that feel too degrading, like mentioned in the other post—furries (considered cringe) or diapers (especially if it's disabled adults and/or csa survivors sexualizing this aspect of their current or past lives). and these are seen as degrading to queer sexuality, to art, as being inherently devoid of meaning and something only a subset of strange and disgusting freaks could enjoy, for Deviant Reasons. it's these arbitrary lines drawn to say "MY kinks are meaningful and done by good people, YOURS can only come from Gross Reasons that have nothing in common with mine." but the sheen of aesthetics and flimsy justifications over your desires won't ever make then more socially acceptable! neither are they an excuse to draw an arbitrary line between you and the Freaks. your own inherently righteousness and claim of good intentions are just another way to claim you're the ones who understand Art and Sex properly, to designate a bunch of people you find annoying and uncomfortable as being the enemy—suspect, creepy, cringe, and inherently "stupid" and empty of meaning.

#eli talks

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absolutebl · 9 months

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Hey ABL. Just sent my doctorate for examination and for the first time since 2019 I have WAY too much time on hands. Can you suggest some binge watches? Got into bl last Feb so stuff before that would be great. Warmly, M

CONGRATZ!!!

10 Older BLs Worthy of a Binge Watch!

(in no particular order, prior to 2022)

1 Seven Days: Monday-Thursday & Seven Days: Friday-Sunday

Japan 2015 (grey)

Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses.

2 To My Star

Korea 2021 (Viki)

In the mood for something more grown up? TMS is a touch quirky to get into, but utterly charming once it hits its stride. This is the ultimate grumpy/sunshine pairing plus the most appealing light-filled kitchen of our dreams.

I don't like season 2 but others do. It is very clever.

3 We Best Love: No. 1 For You & Fighting Mr. 2nd

Taiwan 2021 (WeTV)

How about a uni + office BL? Brilliant acting saved this show from a messy (pretty classically manga) narrative with a lot of angst. You have to buy in to a yaoi aesthetic with this one, accept that things move fast and occasionally confuse, but that everything will be okay. It’s the ultimate pining seme meets the ultimate tsundere uke. WBL successfully manages to combine the best elements of Korean, Thai, and Japanese BL as it exists right now. Couple that to the insane chemistry from the leads, and we have one of the greatest BLs of all time, cooking higher heat to a recipe I doubt anyone else will ever be able to replicate since only Taiwan is this flexible.

4 He's Coming to Me

Thailand 2019 (YouTube)

With only 8 8 eps and from GMMTV this is short, high quality and bingable for Thailand. Boy and ghost boy fall in love, must solve ghost’s murder. Peak pining but also pretty tame, features my favorite sweet but important coming out sequence in all BL. The third in my precious triumvirate of unbeatable Thai BLs, that are only nominally BL because the story, acting, and production values are so good.

(Together with Until We Meet Again & A Tale of Thousand Stars - those 2 are longer so I don't consider them as bingable, but if you want something to get really stuck into? Go to town.).

5 Color Rush

Korea 2021 (Viki)

A unique paranormal twist elevates this classic high school drama into a pitch-perfect allegory for the queer coming out experience and one of the best BLs of all time (I will fight you on this). Here's my battle essay.

Original trigger.

(Don't bother with season 2.)

6 HIStory 2: Crossing the Line

Taiwan 2018 (Viki)

Lin Pei Yu directs this sports romance (volleyball) with a good boy/bad boy pairing, and my hands-down favorite of the HIStory franchise. There is no clear seme/uke. Ostensibly it's high school set but Taiwan doesn't care about age appropriate actors. It's a very soft sweet romance with some ridiculously easily overcome conflict. There's great kisses but it's medium heat. The side dishes are the stepbrother trope but they’re very tame, and there’s no other triggers. It's not just my favorite of the franchise, it’s one of my favorite BLs with a perfect happy ending.

(The second H2 is also pretty good.)

7 Cherry Magic

30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii AKA Cheri Maho

Japan 2020 (indie subs)

The sweetest fluffiest magical realism BL, packaged as a pinning office romance, very low heat (practically chaste) but the cutest. It’s truly great.

8 Light On Me

Korea 2021 (Viki)

Korea does an elegant pastiche of traditional live action yaoi but all tropes are cleverly deployed to bolster one of the most riveting love triangles ever put on screen… and I don’t like love triangles. LoM strategically tailors classic BL tropes to 2 different semes resulting in pristine pacing, plot, and character development, explicitly serving narrative (not just to tick boxes). LoM is a master class in trope drops. (If you write fanfic or romance you should study this show.) Full review.

9 Be Loved In House: I Do

Taiwan 2021 Viki

A cute classy office set BL with a few plot raised eyebrows, but no other concerns. ALL THE TROPES plus a general sweet softness that’s pretty rare from Taiwan, who usually prefer to go hard, but all their signature domesticity.

10 Lovely Writer

Thailand 2021 (YouTube)

Thailand criticizes itself and the BL industry while simultaneously giving us classic seme/uke with great chemistry in a one-two punch of “we love it, but are we supposed to? and must we think this hard, yet enjoy it SO MUCH?” This show won’t appeal or make sense to those who don’t already have at least some Thai BL watching experience. What Lovely Writer does, at heart, is reexamine Thai BL has done to queerness, but in a very gentle way that has more to do with Thai BL growing up than any actual queer authenticity. It’s not parody or pastiche, but it is self reflective and trying to correct for some chronic mistakes. Whether it is ultimately successful in this matter is going to depend on the watcher’s relationship to BL and queer identity. But that’s what makes this show beautiful, interesting, and thought provoking. And I, for one, applaud the effort even if I didn’t personally connect to the characters.

If you wanted 2022 included here's my top 10 from 2022:

#10 Older BLs Worthy of a Binge Watch #bl before 2022 #bl rec list #recomended bl #best bl #Seven Days the series #Japanese BL #To My Satr #Korean BL #We Best Love #Taiwanese BL #He's Coming to Me #Thai BL #Color Rush #HIStory 2: Crossing the Line #Cherry Magic #Light On Me #be loved in house: i do #Lovely Writer

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darcyolsson · 9 months

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What's the ultimate ranking of all parabatai pairs in your intellectual tmi-spiral opinion

thanks for acknowledging the fact that tmi is making me a bit crazy 💛 without further ado, parabatai pairs from worst to best at being parabatai:

luke & valentine - they get some points for participating in a Parabatai Love Triangle (tm) which we all know by now is an essential part of all parabatai pairs but i think it's literally mentioned once that they were parabatai and then it's never brought up again. clearly this was the parabatai equivalent of an embarassing teenage relationship. 1.5/10

lucie & cordelia - they at least take the whole parabatai connected-souls things quite seriously but they forgot the most important part and thats that you need to actually be friends. 3/10

jace & alec - these two however absolutely did not take it seriously enough lmfaoooooo there's real love between them but they hate communicating, talking and speaking to each other SOOOO MUCH. however i kind of have to respect it? sometimes a joint parabatai slay is that they both dont actually give a fuck ab being parabatai. they were kind of real for that. 5/10

james & matthew - i acknowledge that they tried but they werent very good at it were they. i think they kind of suffer from the same thing as lucie & cordelia in the sense that they interact too little to come off as besties even though they both want to be besties. however they did have quite a few moments of unwavering homoerotic loyalty and i do love that. didnt live up to their potential though. 5.5/10

robert & michael - yeah they ended on bad terms but at least they gave us the drama and the completely insane intensity i'm LOOKING for!!!! like i said earlier, almost 20 years after his death michael was still the person robert loved the most in the entire world and michael literally came back from the dead to attend roberts funeral. perhaps robert failed to notice michael dying but thats iconic in and of itself imo do you know how deep you have to bury your emotions to not notice your parabatai's death?????? complete emotional rollercoaster i love it. 7/10 no wonder jace & alec are Like That

simon & clary - they rlly just became parabatai because they could. overhated and underrated parabatai duo i think they lack a certain je ne sais quoi that other pairs do have but i'm obsessed w their friendship so i love them anyway<3 have we considered that more ppl should just become parabatai with their besties simply because they can? besides at this rate simon will be a werewolf or something in 3 months' time anyway so we can't ever blame them for jumping on the opportunity! 7.5/10

jonathan shadowhunter & david the silent - literally invented the parabatai bond. bestie goals. couldve made it more feminist and included a woman though 🙄 8/10

emma & julian - do i even need to explain. they burned down a church. objectively awful at the whole parabatai deal though but in such an iconic life-changing culturally historically and aesthetically significant way that i dont even care. 9/10

will & jem - our souls are knit. we are one person, james. 10000000000000/10

#the fact that emma and julian belong both at the top and the bottom of this list is what makes them iconic #idc if they played by the rules of being parabatai did they serve cunt? i think they did #answered asks #anonymous #tsc #tmi #tda #tlh #tid

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theliterarywolf · 4 months

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So. Being devil’s advocate, and this is me looking into what voodoo is, something that is an African thing? Like for Alastor, it’s considered “racist” because of how it’s being portrayed. Unlike other stuff like Greek and Viking stuff, people aren't allowed because of the person’s skin color. And having an insane Cannibal be that is an insult to the term of voodoo because of it being a Minority thing.

Granted, it's not the best argument because that can apply to Indian Culture or Asian Culture as a whole.

*pictured above: me not wanting to go into this ask because it's going to give me/bring me the same level of frustration my mother and I get when we mention to people that 'No, things like Twerking, Kwanzaa, and Swahili** are not originally African or black diaspora placeholders for languages and holidays and cultural activities' and that a lot of what is modern Voodoo/Hoodoo is an amalgamation of various, sometimes contradicting, rites and practices from various African cultures and Roman Catholic elements that were just haphazardly put together by black Caribbeans, black Southerners, and Haitians.

And that there should be a conversation about keeping those various African cultures and rites alive but, often, things end up getting muddied into the intersectional debate of white Aesthetic (TM) witchcraft and magic (i.e.: Wicca) vs darker practices, which in turn causes the whole thing to get further muddled into a 'Christianity vs. Alternative Religions' debate...

But still wanting to publish this ask so it doesn't look like I'm ignoring it.*

** Swahili is what's known as a Lingua Franca, a bridge language that is composed of numerous different source languages and used for the sake of trade

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panzershrike-pretz · 4 months

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HYDRA SCARLET-IBIS

Source: x x x | x x x | x x x -> song: Dream

I was a little girl alone in my little world Who dreamed of a little home for me I played pretend between the trees And fed my house guests bark and leaves And laughed in my pretty bed of green I had a dream That I could fly from the highest swing I had a dream Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park I asked God who I'm supposed to be The stars smiled down on me God answered in silent reverie I said a prayer and fell asleep I had a dream That I could fly from the highest tree I had a dream Now I'm old and feeling gray I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave I lived it full and I lived it well There's many tales I've lived to tell I'm ready now, I'm ready now I'm ready now to fly from the highest swing I had a dream

- About;

- Hydra Scarlet-Ibis Serpens - she/her

Hydra's name came, first and foremost, from the Constellation of the same name, which is one of, if not the biggest of the modern constellations. At first her name was an accident, but I learned that it actually fits her. The biggest star in the constellation, Alpha Hydrae, is a giant orange and it plays it's part in Hydra's actual colloration.

The Scarlet-Ibis bit is because of the bird, who can be seen in the aesthetic board. Her name was actually "Hydra Guará" for a bit, which is the Brazilian name for the bird, but I decided to change it to thess english version and use Guará as a nickname.

Finally, Serpens, which is the surname of the family she comes from, derived from the constellation of the same name.

- Potion maker and nurse

Hydra's role aboard of Blithe is, more or less, the eole of mother and guardian to all it's crew - but besides that, she is also in charge of potion making, cook helperand nurse, working alongside Pangey.

Hydra grew up in a very rich family and learned, since she was young, how to take care of people; it actually spilled into her pirate life after she left her husband to join the crew. Hydra had a rough past and made it her mission so her friends would not go through half of what she did.

- Goddess of Family, of Childhood, of Justice and of Fire

She is one of the most important Gods in the Pantheon of Fantasia, being the first one with who every child has contact as soon as they're born. Hydra is considered a protector os children and of relationships.

Her powers include fire manipulation and fire breathing, which are actually considered good during fights and attacks; she's able to make her whole body catch on fire at will, tho it drains too much energy and requires total cincentration.

Besides that, being and Ymbryne such as Athena, she's able to create time-loops for protection; the lack of training in this area makes them very susceptible to colapsing, so she usually refrains from creating them, unless exztremelly necessary.

Finally, the ability to turn into a Scarlet-Ibis and understand birds. This is useful in its own right - although Hydra's bird form is a bright red, it still can be somewhat good in soying missions or swift getaways.

- Personality

Hydra tries to be the most responsible persin on the ship; she's usually the smarter one, to whom everyone goes to if they have any questions.

Her usually calm and kind demeanor make her the official Terapist(tm) of the crew; it's not her job but she never refuses to help.

Even tho she's always there to help, insecurities and trauma that have build up all her life still inhabit her mind and she usually is caught in some serious self-doubt and the paranoia that she's not good enough pr worthy of anything she has.

- Funfact: Hydra is probably the one that went through the most appearance changes, but her backstory mostly stayed the same since her creation, apart from some extremely tiny details.

- Relationship: -----

Her hair is made of feathers. I love it. A lot :]

#pretz oc #🥨🪶

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cult-of-artemis-and-athena · 1 year

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get a fucking life

Stop trying to "re-invent" or "re-brand" yourself. A new aesthetic or "era" will not fix your life. Aesthetics-as-lifestyles is something that seems to have proliferated while people were locked in their houses for 2 years. Not necessarily your fault in all cases. I think I understand where it comes from, but I don't think it's healthy or a helpful way to fulfill the desire and longing for things to make sense.

I'm not saying you can't have aspirations, have role models and inspirations, try new things, have a personal style, or change your personal style.

I'm objecting to the idea that if you curate your life a certain way and gaslight yourself into behaving like a different person, it will fix any of a number of problems that present themselves in your life -- take your pick.

"If I wear certain clothes and eat certain things, I will become An Halthy Gorl (TM)"

"If I wear certain clothes and listen to certain music, I will become An Fartistic Gorl (TM)"

Etc.

Pursuing self-improvement - to become more health-conscious or creative - is not the problem. Pursuing these things in a way inauthentic to your Self is the problem.

Online trends are very neat because they are sometimes grassroots. Sometimes there is, but often there isn't a corporation or a brand behind everything with a motivation to sell you some absolute bullshit. It seems since the trend of "aesthetics" has taken off, however, corporations are jumping on the bandwagon and using influencers to astroturf their products to online trends.

Everyone and their dog, at this point, is onto Shein and their crap, but that's a great example I don't need to over-explain.

With the exceptions of what is astroturfed by a corporation, the origin point of a trend that everyone wants to jump on is often ONE person innovating, taking a risk, and being true to themselves. They may do that thing for years in spite of receiving no clout, being considered a weirdo, or getting shit on for what they're doing.

If you look at why punks wore Doc Martens, leather jackets, or military surplus, or clothes with awkward patches and holes, they all go back to practical reasons. Before punks were punks, lot of them were poor and worked in factories; if they were going to have one nice pair of shoes, it was going to be their work boots, and Doc Martens were the best investment for that purpose at the time.

Leather moto jackets were popular in the 1950s and 60s, after that trend passed, a lot of them ended up in thrift stores in the 70s and 80s. If you're a poor kid trying to look cool, you're going to do the best you can with what you can find in a thrift store.

They had holes in their clothes because they were, again, poor and their clothes were naturally worn-out. Perhaps the rebellion lay in the fact that even poor people did their best to be "presentable" and did not wear worn-out clothing in public if they could help it, but it's not like they were buying pre-ripped jeans from a store for $100.

The people who came after, who made a conscious decision to adopt the punk lifestyle, may have ripped up their pants to still piss off anyone who felt worn-out clothes in public was disrespectful.

Then the media makes movies about punks, and punk music starts getting radio play, and normies get exposed to a romanticized and context-free image of punk that they like, and it's still rebellious enough to piss off their parents. However at this time, there are still "real" punks from the original movement, so one foot is still grounded in reality, so to speak.

Then decades pass and punk has become fully commodified into a cartoon character meme. It's a trope that's been remixed, satirized, and deconstructed by Big Fashion. The bottom tip of the iceberg still exists, but the entry point - from where someone gets into Avril Lavigne or MGK at age 11 and they're shopping at Claire's and Hot Topic (I'm probably showing my age...) - is so far removed. And sometimes, people just fuckin stay there unless it was a phase and they move onto something else.

There's a difference between adopting punk almost accidentally because you went to the skate park and interacted with punks, and starting to skateboard because you just discovered The Ramones and you're checking off the punk checklist: "Put safety pins on my bag, check. Wear a dog collar, check. Next, I gotta get a CBGB shirt and dye my hair purple. I gotta get more piercings, because the more piercings I have the higher that my punk level is."

I'll be the first to admit 13-year old me was the latter one. Now, with 20 years of hindsight, my boomer father was 100% correct to make fun of my pre-ripped jeans and tell me I should buy non-ripped jeans and do chores in them to get rips. In my own defense, however, naturally-ripped jeans often rip in a way that makes them unwearable instead of derelique.

This is not a commentary on how to treat posers, but the poser-like thought process of curating a persona that checks off aesthetic boxes without regard for practicality or individuality. However, it's applied toward being a "clean girl" or "French girl" or "alt girl".

On one hand, "aesthetics" are self-aware in acknowledging their superficiality. On the other, that in itself is a red flag that they're about as attainable and sustainable as the artificial environments and scenarios in media that inspires them.

The only outcome of trying to check all the boxes of a "French girl" aesthetic in Peebles, Ohio is disappointment.

I'm not saying you have to embrace minimalism, but in the wardrobe minimalist community, there is the concept of dressing for your real life instead of your aspirational life.

In a way that men don't, women have a mysterious pressure put upon them to be everything and everyone except who they are. "Unattainable standards" gets thrown around a lot, and it's easy to dismiss as "someone who feels entitled to credit from a result without attaining it" but what's actually being lashed out at is not always the standard itself, but sometimes it's likely the moving of the goalposts once that's reached.

I don't know where this started, and going into the possible historical and cultural genesis of this mindset is out of scope, it's largely an internalization. It's the feminine impulse to disregard twenty people who consistently say positive things or don't care and then hyper-fixate on the one person who made an off-color comment once. How many of those people are in your head?

Perhaps it's true that females, on average, are predisposed to negative emotions and conformity. Perhaps it's true that society systemically conditions girls from a young age to be obedient social chameleons who view themselves in third person. Likely both have something to do with it.

I think women who adopt the persona of being a staunch "man repeller" are just as obsessed with their image and potentially Self-denying as the pick me's who would break their feet in half if someone told them it's what attracts High Value Menz. None of this should be about cultivating approval or revulsion in a social audience.

This issue intersects heavily with consumerism, which is why I invoked the example of early punks. We have to get out of the mindset that we can go on Amazon and, within a few hours, order a brand new personality of new clothes and hobby supplies that will be used for a few months then discarded.

"Just be yourself" is advice that's given lazily, and abused frequently as a cope for not improving, but I believe that's close to the solution. Nietzsche said it better, though: become who you are. This could involve discarding and deconstructing forms of identity that come from destructive and schizophrenia-inducing sources such as mass media, social media, and consumerism and affiliating yourself with timeless identities based in culture, craft, spirituality, the natural world, and immutable personal characteristics and talents.

"Show me the face you had before you were born" -- The Buddha

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