#((I literally don't even have any assignments or work submitted for me to do.))

[faeriesthrall]

i have cried at work 2 days in a row this week. i love having a job:)

#i genuinely only have a day left in this department and my manager here was set on ruining my week #i genuinely had a report assigned to me out of the blue yesterday despite the fact that i asked whether i would need to submit anything #when i left this department #like i hate nothing more than a change of plans last minute and i cannot explain how frustrating this rotation has been because #the people here just don't want tk actually help me like everytime i ask for something they're like sure and then never do the thing? #like I'd not going to treat grown adults with kids like children and repeatedly ask them for the same shit #anyway so i get this report given to me and i haven't even had a chance to read through any other reports just so i have context #so i spent like 6 hours post work yesterday figuring the reports out using a template i literally only got from a coworker who isn't #even in this department so like this department continues to be fucking useless #so i spend my night working on this so i could have it done by 8 this morning and then i sent it to the manager #only for him to say its not what he wanted from me which like how would i have known what he wanted since he didn't fucking tell me #like ask for a failure investigation report and i gave you a failure investigation report #he now says he wanted me to research and explain the failure mechanism and describe it's process????? #like hello why didn't you fucking say that #i'm genuinely so pissed i've wasted so much time on this when i have an evaluation practice session on monday #anyway am i a crybaby? maybe but i just don't like having shit sprung up on me with poorly explained scopes because it's a waste of time #should this have gone into my journal? maybe #do i care? no

[copperbadge]

Hi, I have started a new office job! It's good, I like the people I work with and the work itself but it's sooo different from what I'm used to? I don't always feel I have enough to do, which is partly b/c of the time of year and cause I'm still new, only 30 days, but is this normal-ish? I am trying to be self directed and going thru my responsibilities but somedays, there's just not a lot? Have you ever found that in any of your jobs?

Yeah, a lot of office jobs are like this -- mine have almost all had a great deal of empty space in them. It's not universal for sure, but it's not at all unusual. The only time I've had an office job where I really didn't have any time free during the average week was right at the end of my last job when we were heavily downstaffed and I was doing about three peoples' worth of jobs. Even then, my schedule had some flex to it.

Especially as a newbie you're going to have a lot of downtime because people are giving you time to settle in, or they're trying to work out what they can assign to you, or they're waiting until you're fully trained to start assigning you more responsibility. And you may have less work at this time of year because a lot of people are out of office or for other reasons (this is actually a busy time for me and my crew, because we get a lot of end-of-year donations, but a ton of nonprofit work is backwards to the rhythms of normal for-profit office work).

I recommend never, ever telling anyone at work that you are not busy, however. For one, most people in any given office know that we aren't working at 100% for 100% of the time, because if we were we'd all be exhausted. Two, it means you'll be given more work. :D Which, okay, some of that is "Why work when you don't have to" but some of it is also that it is GOOD to have slack built into your schedule. It means you can ramp up when needed, and also that you get periods of brain rest, and also that you have time to work on independent projects should you wish, whether those are for work or, say, fanfic. I actually at this point tend to lower expectations by waiting to submit work -- I'll finish a project a day early and submit it the day it's due regardless.

In one job, I had to process documents being converted from PDF to Word, then pass them on to our proofer; he could only proof about four documents a day, but I could process about 20. So on Monday I'd process all 20 documents, and send him four of them -- and the rest of the week I'd send him four a day, and write fanfic for hours on end. Occasionally they gave me other jobs to do, but at that job I was essentially paid full time to work one day a week and show up to do nothing the other four.

The average office worker only works four hours a day. In some jobs I've literally booked out those four hours and fucked around the rest of the time. When I needed to, I'd break into Fuck Around Time in order to do more work, but otherwise -- they're paying me for results, not for sweat. As a front-desk receptionist it was baked in, actually; they said to me "There's going to be long periods of time where you are doing nothing. Your job at those times is to entertain yourself in ways that don't make it look like you're goofing off if someone important walks in." I wrote a lot of fanfic and novels, read a lot of books, did a shitload of origami. I loved that job; if it paid better I probably never would have left it.

Eventually, too, you will learn the rhythms of your job and workplace, and figure out when you're most likely to have empty time, so that you can build around it. For instance, on Fridays I get a data document that I have to evaluate and present to my colleagues the following Wednesday. Friday and Monday are therefore my busy days; Tuesday and Wednesday are for work I might have put off during the busy days. Thursday is generally just an open day; I can do long-term work projects, or I can spend the whole day dicking around. If a rush job comes in, I can push work into Thursday to get the rush job done, regardless of when it arrives.

In any case, you have a couple of options for continuing to look busy even when you aren't. If you can read on a computer screen, queue up some books or fanfic (be careful what you access on company internet, of course; I have more free range than most and am not monitored because my job is researched-based and I have to go to some weird shit places). Read newspapers you might have access to, or work on your own writing/creative endeavors on cloud-based apps. A couple of times a year I'd dedicate the empty space in a week to going through old files and organizing them, or cleaning out my email inboxes.

You can also, if you desire, work on independent projects for your actual employer. In my spare time I've built several tools to make my life easier, some of which I've shown to my bosses to impress them. Some just make my work go faster and my bosses don't know that, and don't have to. Again: they are paying for results, not for me to sit there like a booby doing work I don't have to do. If there are ways to streamline processes, you can use the time to think about implementing them (although ask other people they may impact, first). The other day I was giving a mailing list one last scroll-through before sending it to my boss, and idly realized there was a fantastic opportunity to do a little data visualization, so I whipped that up and added it to the email I was sending, like "Hey I also noticed this, see what you think."

For a while, in my last job, I had enough lee time in my schedule that most days I could work my second job as a transcriptionist while at my primary job. That can get perilous and I don't recommend it, but it can be done...

Anyway, be at ease, this is supposed to be the case and it's a great bonus when it actually does happen :D Do your work competently and efficiently and don't worry too much about the empty spots, just take breaks and keep yourself entertained.

#sam works #office work

[theradicalscrivener]

Life is suffering.

I'm struggling to hold it together long enough to finish the semester but it's going Not Well. The good gnus is I have finished a few short stories. The bad gnus is ... Everything else. I'll need to figure out when to post some of the stuff from the past few months because I'm never sure if I should be aiming for "peak hours" or just post it whenever is convenient. Unfortunately, I've been to exhausted to do anything other than work and such for a while now. I'm hoping that in a few weeks when I finish my finals I'll be able to unwind a bit and get some housekeeping stuff done. I also need to figure out what stories I've actually posted here and what I still have left to share. I know I did some CDE recently as well as the first stage of a slow(ish) macro growth story which I don't think has been posted here. I feel like I've also done some one shot stuff.

I'll try to give a brief recap of the past few months because I know people have been asking but also I know that most people don't want to have to scroll past a massive block of text so I'll keep it snappy.

I'm in an upper division accounting class. The final class I need to finish my bachelor's in accounting degree. The professor has structured the entire class around being a group oriented endeavor. All assignments (sans exams) are group projects. You'd think being an upper division course, everyone would be knowledgeable in the field and have at least the bare minimum moral fortitude and work ethic but you'd be wrong. My group has refused to do any work and since I dont want to fail because of other people I've been doing the work of 5 people by myself which is a huge part of why I'm so worn out.

I've spoken with the proff about it and at first she seemed to be on my side. Literally the whole class knows I'm the only one in my group doing work. During all the presentations I'm the only one who speaks and when the other members are forced to speak/answer questions they have no idea what to say. Like I've literally written briefs for them so they'd at least have something to say and they refuse to even read that.

A few weeks ago the proff pulled me aside after class and said that she'd grade my work separately from the rest of my group and that I should do the final assignment (which is like 40% of the class grade) solo and leave the rest of the group to handle themselves. I did the entire assignment by myself and emailed it to her rather than submitting it through the group portal. She responds to my email and said she has no idea why I would email her directly and told me i was supposed to use the group portal. She has no memory of us every talkin about the group issues so now the rest of the group are getting my grade on the final project even tho they didn't do anything. I haven't even heard from them in weeks. To make matters worse the proff never changed my grades and so I have the grades for the rest of the group (which are very low because we are graded on the participation of the whole group and since most of the group never participates in the presentation, and when they do they don't know anything about the subject I'm getting graded down for them not doing their job.)

I have a few more weeks and a few more assignments left of this shit. I just need to survive til mid may. Hopefully I don't crash and burn completely.

In other gnus. Things at work have been insane. I've been doing triple duty there as well. I work two jobs. One is a salary job which is tough to really say how much I actually do there ( but even then my salary is only 800 a month so it's not meant to be a full time job). On top of that I have my hourly work. I've been putting in over 100 hours at the hourly work pretty consistently lately.

On top of all that ny grandmother passed away at the start of the month. I ended up on an impromptu road trip to go to the funeral and deal with family stuff all while keeping up with work and school. I'm back home now but I'm extra exhausted and also down bad with the Rona. I'm tired and sore and sick and cranky as all get out.

But hopefully... I just need a few more weeks.

[svltaf]

@literaryreference submitted:

I have some suggestions for corrections to the machine translations on your soy sauce post, and I wasn't sure how best to get them to you, so I hope this works? Initially I was just going to reblog your post, but my comments got kinda long, which is potentially annoying for people on my dash to scroll through and also felt kind of combative if aired in public, which I don't mean it to be--I really appreciate what you're doing here, I'm just trying to help add a little polish. This isn't meant to be published as a separate post, it's just in lieu of an email, basically.

良き理解者 means she was a supporter or proponent of soy sauce, or "on the side" of soy sauce. (A soy sauce partisan, perhaps?) Basically they seem to be suggesting that if not for pressure from her bosses, she would have favored the soy sauce industry over the MSG industry, because unlike them, she understood its cultural importance.

"The original proposed allocation ratio of 2 to 8, with absolute dominance of the amino acid industry, was finally approved by GHQ with the advent of the [sc2] method and the '7 to 3 Agreement' of the 'Shoda-Ouchi Conference'" is a bit of a mess that ends up saying the opposite of what it means to say. Literally (though this is clunky as hell), this is something like "Regarding the original proposed allocation ratio of 2 to 8 with absolute dominance of the amino acid industry, the GHQ finally approved the 7 to 3 agreement of the Shoda-Ouchi Conference due to/based on the emergence of the sc2 method."(This is one of those "は is a topic marker, not a subject marker" issues.)

The quote from the Journal of the Brewing Society of Japan is missing a bit off the end--the last sentence should read "一旦，消費者に定着した混合しょうゆのニーズにより本醗造しょうゆに切り換えることが出来ず，現在も混合しょうゆが主力商品となっているのではないかと考えている 。" This bit is also a lot more equivocal than DeepL makes it out to be: "Even now, it's possible mixed/kongo soy sauce might be the top [soy sauce] product." (Japanese does tend to be more equivocal than English, but since the article doesn't back up that statement with a citation or statistic or anything, I think it really is speculation and not a definitive statement of fact.)

I think those are the only particularly significant corrections I have, but here's some nitpicking of errors that don't seriously impede comprehension, because I'm that kind of person:

In "The internal paint that was being researched..." the word translated as paint, "塗料," can refer to any kind of coating (see this dictionary definition) and I would just say "coating" here--the article doesn't specify, but it seems to me that in this context it's more likely to be some kind of protective coating than paint.

"ヤマサ印", here translated as "Yamasa mark," is more properly "Yamasa brand" in English (as in, this was a manufacturing site for Yamasa brand soy sauce).

In "GHQ assigned Ms. Blanche Appleton..." "Ms." should be "Mrs."--which doesn't really matter, but it's fascinating to me that DeepL gets it wrong here when "Mrs." is written out phonetically (so it's not even guessing at interpretations of さん or anything) and it does correctly translate/transliterate it elsewhere.

"which defatted soybeans could be used more effectively" should be "which [industry] would use the defatted soybeans more effectively."

"Once mixed soy sauce has taken root among consumers, they are unable to switch over to hon-fermented soy sauce due to the demand for mixed soy sauce" has done something really weird with the first clause, splitting it into two semi-redundant parts on either side of the "unable to switch over" bit--it should just be "Once a demand for mixed soy sauce has taken root among consumers, they are unable to switch over to honjozo soy sauce, and even today..."

I hope this was helpful (as opposed to just annoying); please feel free to send me an ask or a message if you have any questions!

thank you for your translation notes!

oops, i already got the same note regarding 良き理解者 from other folks, i have edited the original post before you submitted. same for the 2-to-8 agreement thing.

thanks for the note on "might be"! i wouldn't've caught it.

yea i can change the word "paint" to "coating," i'm not well versed in the intricacies these terms in english so i'll take your word for it.

ah yea in my native language mark = brand as well, so i'll change that. thanks for the link.

i changed it to ms. on purpose bc i wasnt entirely sure of her marital status and i wanted to use something more neutral

thanks for the remaining notes as well, i agree with your interpretations so i'll change my post.

#svlt speaks #the mysterious appearance of miss appleton

[nempthis]

Update about my employment in this BPO company

I started the year fresh and ready for a brand new job which is being a call center agent. I was happy I received a start date in my email because I was actually looking forward to it. My training day started last January 10, 2023 at 5 in the morning. Feeling nervous, clueless and excited about what's going to happen. During the first 2 weeks of training, we were not receiving calls yet because that time was allotted for lectures only about the rules in the company, tools that we are going to use during calls, call etiquette and stuff like that. It was fine but I felt like I'm not understanding what our trainer was explaining and my confusion stirred. Okay so I was assigned to technical support, not my choice but the managenent's and if I'm gonna be completely honest with you I AM NOT TECH SAVVY IN ANY WAY. My weakness is actually anything related to technology and its technicalities... So being in a tech support made me feel dumb the whole time while my other peers can follow along with our trainer without breaking a sweat. That was the first red flag that I tried to ignore because who knows? Maybe I can practice and improve overtime so I stayed and tried to learn more.

2 weeks later, I was able to pass the first assessment so I got hope that there's a room for improvement indeed. I was happy because I didn't expect that I will pass despite having difficulties in my lectures so that's something. Also it felt good to receive my first pay. It's like a trophy for something that I won. I didn't spoil myself after receiving it, I saved it for something else.

This is the part that it got complicated. On the 3rd week of training, it was our opportunity to take calls and apply everything that we learned during training. I had a separate post about this and just to add, I got a little traumatized because I flunked it so bad and it was embarrassing that I kept shaking and sweating and panicking the whole time although I had a mentor by my side to support me. This was the time that I was having second thoughts about this job. Mistakes were meant to happen on the first time but what about the long run? I was thinking about leaving the company soon after training because I don't wanna embarrass myself even further. I mean I have a degree in Journalism from a prestigious university in my province but I can't even handle taking calls while navigating tools? It's a shame that someone who didn't finish college or someone who finished from a regular uni/college defeats me, right??

Even the fact that I was scared to continue, I still gave it a try. I didn't quit right away because this is something that I want to commit to. I attend the 2nd day of taking calls and the day after that and so on. I felt anxious like I was literally shaking every time I started to take calls. So it was about a week of taking calls, the half of 3rd week and the whole 4th week which was last week. Even with mentors coaching me what to do with my tools, I just couldn't get it! I only remember like 5% of what was discussed during lectures so imagine how pathetic and dumb I was the whole time. I just couldn't learn and it dissapoints me.

Today marks the last shift of my training as my trainer issued me a termination contract. It escalated quickly to this part because I made 2 absences this week. One was from Monday, 6th of Feb and then today 11th of Feb. It was a clear policy that more than one absent is subjected to termination. I was aware of this so I take all the blame plus I don't have to submit an awkward resignation letter so this actually saved my ass. If you're wondering I was absent, I was sick on Monday (severe cold and mild sore throat. Kept sneezing every after a few minutes) and also today, I got sick again (itchy throat accompanied by frequent coughing and also fever).

Today on my way to work, I was feeling okay with controllable cough and no fever. I was scared again to take calls but I don't wanna quit just yet. I was torn between keeping this job for as long as I can or just leave. I asked God to give me the most obvious sign to help me decide and here it is, I got sick in the middle of the day and was forced to leave work by the nurse of our clinic in the company because I consulted them first before making hasty decision.

It made me realize that this job ain't for me. I was able to pass the screening so that was something again but I couldn't keep my performance so it's better for me to get sick and terminated because why force myself to something that isn't meant for me? This ain't about perseverance and determination and all that cheesy words, that's toxic okay? At least I tried and didn't quit right away. I still set foot on the production floor which is the source of my nightmare every single day. I stayed till the very end of my OJT (today) but it was interrupted by my health.

A lot of people will judge me for this because the audacity to let this happen despite some people would've been perfect to take my position and why can't I keep my job for fuck's sake? People will see me as irresponsible, disappointment, weak, easily quits, and that I won't be able to succeed in life.

[justinefrischmanngf]

what order am i going to do the things i need to do today in is a great question and the answer is that i really truly do not know ummm maybe i'll have a shower now,,,,,, idk ! i've done all i can w/ one assignment without this last girl submitting her bit of it which sucks bc we do literally need to submit it tonight but that's ok it'll be fine god i do not think thatmy job is very good for me not bc of any reason except i feel like my swearing has increased by a million percent which is ironic given this post has no swearing in it but i do really think that it's been impacted which is interesting wht's that thing about like u ar the 5 people u spend the most time with so atm like that's probably just people from my work maybeeeee one girl from my film class ?? and obvs em but that's online bc we don't live in the same fcking country there we go thta's the swearing i am not even going to fix these typos i am going so fast rn this is WILD

[silverislander]

i honestly would drop this fucking writing course if i still could i'm so goddamn frustrated with it, and yall KNOW how bad i wanted this/how much i love to write so that means smth. it's like it was set up to torment me specifically. "oh here's everything you want to learn but it's actively adhd/autism/nd-hostile"

no schedule, prof is LITERALLY making it up in class in front of us from week to week and frequently forgets/gets confused in making them herself

no grading guidelines- i had to ask for a rough idea of how we're getting graded and even then, she didn't give a very informative answer

only received my first grade after doing four assignments already, which isn't exactly fucking helping me improve, esp since our grades are based on continuous improvement

prof doesn't appreciate fantasy or horror... this is a comparatively v small complaint bc she still allows us to submit whatever we want to write but like. man. even the horror i would sort of get, everyone has limits and it can be a tough read, but all of her prompts are really only applicable to modern-day realism bc you have to base them on smth you experienced and "make us question the line between fiction and reality" so.

the amt of work varies WILDLY due to the schedule issues- this week (beginning of midterms!) i have a 2000 word story and at least 10 250 word reviews due by tomorrow, which i've only had a week to complete... during fucking midterm study. IT'S A CREATIVE WRITING COURSE. i get more notice for 2 page essays in any other course jesus fucking christ

has moved physical rooms bc. she didn't like the first one, so now i'm confused half the time and don't remember where to go. she also doesn't have a key to the new room, so we have to call a security guard to unlock it and it frequently makes us late to start and subsequently late getting out, which is Upsetting for me, why can we not stay on schedule i am on campus for 9+hrs

did i mention this class is 7pm-9:30pm. with one less than 10min break.

prof fucking REFUSES to answer emails despite making email the one way to contact her... i emailed her once on a thursday afternoon and didn't get a response until tuesday afternoon, which was one day before the deadline and too fucking late to change shit if i had been wrong

no clear guidelines as to where/how to submit work, which is a weekly struggle

prof is literally making up terms i am NOT KIDDING. she's speaking in fucking riddles my god. nothing she's requested us to write has been a real term, and i've googled them to check

also writes her assignment guidelines in her creative writing style instead of just giving us the basic info, i.e. one page rambling abt the topic, one paragraph of actual vague guidelines

0 forgiveness for missing dates/being unable to make class/etc. one girl said on the first day that she couldn't make next week's deadlines bc she has a full time job and a family and the prof's response was "well, i guess you're going to have to drop this course". and she DID

if you email her a question she Will make it obvious in front of the class who asked

all i wanted was to enjoy meeting other writers and to try to improve my own work but i'm stressed out of my fucking mind bc she can't be assed to actually do her job. i've had genuine actual stress dreams about this fucking class (among others but besides the point). the total lack of consistency is killing me

and i didn't get that one singular grade until after the 75% drop date, which means if i drop it now i at BEST get 25% of my money back, and it's way too late to try to pick up another class as a replacement. this is all bullshit i fucking hate this

#i like to think i enjoy change but fucking. MAN. i cant cope w this #this is all on top of her having a massive visible superiority complex #i dont even like her writing style thats another can of worms #this isnt even a course built for neurotypicals its a course built for her specifically #levi.txt #vent tw #i get it shes a published author and thats awesome she does 10000% know more than us abt that and i want to learn from her #but like. instead of being so up your own ass abt how smart you are you could bend to the proles and teach us idk. it Is your job. #its just fucking bizarre the whole experience is like she found out she would be teaching a day before the semester started #0 prep 0 explanation just vibes and heaping work onto us #i have a full fucking courseload i dont have TIME to write 10 discussion posts i have a psych midterm TOMORROW #if she were on ratemyprof i would be giving her like a solid 2. she only doesnt get a 1 bc shes not actively bullying her students (DR G)

[thedeviljudges]

as someone who commuted to different workplaces ranging from 15 minutes to 2 hours... less than half an hour, if you live in a bigger city, is big luck. that said, full time + 40 min commuting is not easy. i would consider moving if the first few months go well, if your area has many offices you can be picky. giving you a different description of the job is imo a red flag tho

yeah like im about 25 min from my current work, but it can still take me 30-35 min bc of traffic, longer if i don't pay to take the express lanes (which i normally do).

traveling to downtown is absolutely going to be an 1hr+ commute, and i understand that people do it bc of money, and part of me feels stupid for thinking that's a big deal and should suck it up, but i literally do not want to jump ship for one job to be miserable in another. i do want to move eventually, except my lease isn't up until july and spending 6 months commuting like that already sounds terrible. so it's partially a timing thing, too.

and my city is a big PR industry. it's not really an issue to find somewhere else to apply esp bc many are national/global and you can always get something remote and work at a location not near you so tbqh, i have options. it's just... waiting for job listings to open up and crossing my fingers they actually view my application bc it can be difficult to get in to bigger agencies - and you want bigger agency in order to get health care, PTO, good pay, etc. small to mid, like where i'm at now, don't offer those things.

and they didn't give me a different job description, per se. the recruiter didn't have all of the details for this role just yet, but any PR role is pretty much the same, and i had already applied to one with them that was similar, except that one had an offer already put out by the time i submitted my app (as per the recruiter telling me).

and on all of the job descriptions, it says hybrid, so i assumed it wouldn't be completely in office bc like 99% of their positions are hybrid, some fully remote (and the role i'm interviewing for hadn't even been listed yet on their site). i did the second interview and the woman that i could've potentially been working alongside, she def wasn't in the office. she also didn't have all the job specifications in terms of who i'd be answering to bc she wasn't the higher up but went into detail about the client i'd be assigned.

it wasn't until this last round with the VP - who generally knows how more about the role and what they're looking for bc they are the highest level person on a PR account - that asked if i was currently in office, explained how the agency typically does hybrid or full remote, but this specific position would be in office.

so i don't fault them completely. i think they hadn't given the recruiter full details (it seems they are trying to fill this position quickly bc it's a company def worth millions and absolutely needs the help), and i was interviewing with the higher chain people later on, so those below wouldn't have known the full specifications either. i think it was just lack of communication - and that's more of me trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

regardless, it's still disappointing and the more i think about it, the more i really do not want to commute like that. the position wouldn't be an issue if i could move sooner, but it really is bad timing. :/

#x

[six-improbable-things]

The last week of classes is going so good. (/s) The past three nights I've gotten less than 5 hours of sleep every night. (I think it went something like 2.5 -> 3.5 -> 4.5) I've played a bunch of Wildermyth, finishing 2.5 campaigns in 2 days. I have SO MUCH work to do, and I feel like I'm drowning because of it. I've homebrewed multiple dnd things, mostly between the hours of 9pm and 3am. I'm so burnt out that the idea of having a conversation with my best friend seems impossible. I'm almost done with the Chroma Conclave arc of CR1. (As in about to watch the Thordak fight, but I won't be able to until this weekend, I bet.) Both my dnd games got cancelled last weekend. I've made at least 4 level-20 dnd characters just for fun. I found out today that I have a "group" project due Wednesday that I literally didn't know about, but is worth 100 points. I'm already done with it and submitted it. I'm so sick of my university dorm food that the thought of putting it in my mouth revolts me. I spent over an hour remaking a figure from a scientific paper from scratch even though my professor only asked for 2-3 sentences on what I like/don't like about it. (It was actually fun! I really miss graphic design.) I cited Terry Pratchett in that same assignment, which is for ecology class. (And a couple of weeks ago I cited an xlkcd comic for ecology lab.) We have a special "student appreciation dinner" with fancy food on Wednesday, but I know all of it will be bad. Oh, and my best friend (who barely remembers any of it themself) was trying to explain the plot of Life is Strange to me in the most vague and confusing way possible, which has been very entertaining, and led to the quote "I can respect murder." getting pinned in our DMs.

This is the busiest I've been in my entire life, other than maybe tech week for theatre, and actually more stressful than tech week. And somehow I'm getting less sleep, even though I'm not at school for 16 hours a day.

#to be clear like half of these are good things. they're just mixed in with the bad things. #I tried to alternate. #morrigan.text #personal #vent tw #(kind of????) #I will gladly share the context of citing the Terry Pratchett and xlkcd comic if anyone cares. And share the re-designed graph vs the og. #cause the og was BAD. #and also share the homebrewed dnd stuff. #I just didn't wanna bog down this ''list'' post with the details. #whenever my insomnia gets really bad I get super productive. So I end up doing a lot of idea-generating between midnight and 3am. #the number of good ideas I've gotten at 1-3am on nights when I cannot sleep to save my life is far too high. #and I can't come up with ideas literally any other time. #only when I'm in my once or twice per year week of hardly any sleep.

[literaticat]

I'm am editor at a big pub in the same category that I write. I really want to keep this stuff separate because I'd like to be taken seriously as a writer and avoid any preferential treatment. Even though I know most agents wouldn't offer based on that if the book is a shitshow, I'm irrationally worried they may be influenced by the idea of a close connection. Would you be upset if one of your clients never told you and you find out later?

I really appreciate the sentiment here but I think you are actually hobbling yourself unnecessarily?

I don't think ANY agent would offer because of your day job. Truly. However ... they might request the full in the first place because of it. Just like no publisher will buy the book on submission if it is a hot mess -- however, if your agent is able to say "so-and-so is an editor at bigpublisher" -- they probably WILL take a look at it with much more alacrity. They just will. Publishing people love publishing-professionals-turned-authors. So... is that a bad thing?

I personally want to use every possible means of getting people to READ the stuff I'm submitting, because as I'm sure you know, everyone is SO burnt out and busy and everything else -- having a "hook" that cuts through that is huge. Like, if my author is a NYT bestseller or a famous person -- I'm probably not going to submit their book under a different name and hide those facts. Because while those facts won't make a publisher buy a book if they don't want to buy the book - it probably WILL make them at least read and consider it, whereas Joe Schmo's ms might languish for months or forever.

You know that your worry is irrational (you said it yourself!) -- but if this makes you feel better: You, as an editor, can (should!) have work-related boundaries with your agent. Like, if I wanted to rep you -- we'd have a conversation FIRST about how it would work with regards to your day job. While our paths might (and indeed probably would) cross randomly -- I'd never want to put you in a weird position, or have to negotiate with you on behalf of another client, etc. I would NOT expect to submit my client's work to you -- quite the opposite, I would purposely AVOID doing so. And if there was a situation where I literally *had to* send you a client's work (you get assigned it, you have the option, whatever), I'd probably recuse myself of the negotiation and have my boss or another agent do that part so there could be no weirdness there. In other words, I think you can take the idea of an agent being "influenced by a close connection" off the table.

If you submitted under a different name and never told me you were an editor (aka A PUBLISHING COLLEAGUE) -- I would be beside myself if I found out later. BESIDE myself. NOT OKAY. lol. First of all, I think that would mean that I almost certainly WOULD have been submitting things to you, or whatever -- my god, I would feel like such a FOOL if I found out later that you'd secretly BEEN MY OWN CLIENT all along???? Not only that -- it would be a sort of difficult ruse to keep up for any length of time. I know what my clients look and sound like. I have met many of them and at least zoomed or whatever with all of them. I know what most editors look and sound like, and if they are new and I don't know them yet, eventually I will. So... uh... ???? If I come by the office for a meeting with the editors, and you are one of the editors, is this a Clark Kent situation or what?

Basically I think it is best practices to be truthful with your agent at all times with anything that could potentially affect how they sell the book, where they send the book, etc. They are your fiduciary, they are handling your career, they are are representing you to other people, and if you haven't given them all the information, that's a potential problem for both of you.

If you really truly don't want to use your name or tell them your job at the query stage, well, I think you are making a mistake, but that's your call. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell them if you are actually potentially going to be their client. They don't need to USE your name if you truly don't want them to -- but your agent needs to know what's up if they are going to protect you and strategize with you.

(And, they obviously need to know your name if they are going to PAY you!)

[secretly-a-cold-blooded-murderer]

Invisible String (Harry Styles x Reader)

(Soulmate AU)

A/N: Got inspired with this while listening to Taylor Swift’s Invisible string, hence the title. It took me a really long time to write this, hope you like it! 

Warnings: none

Summary: In a world where soulmates are connected by an invisible red thread, how would you find yours?

“Maybe if I yank it hard enough, I’ll pull him to me.”

“Honey, you know that’s not how it works, right?” My Mom leaned forward and placed her hand on my arm, she looked genuinely concerned for me.

“Mom, you got it easy. You were fifteen when you bumped into dad. Literally. And here I am, twenty-six and still don’t know who is my soulmate,” My voice rising slowly as I pushed her hand away from me, I was getting rather frustrated having the same conversations over and over again.

“Oh don't be so dramatic, your Grandma was thirty-five when she met your Grandpa and you know how happy they were. You'll find him," my mom tried to reassure me. Again. “Or her," tilting her head to the side, she added as an afterthought.

I almost wanted to roll my eyes, my Grandma was a very patient lady, unfortunately, she didn't pass down the trait to me.

I had been waiting for my soulmate ever since I turned five and sort of understood the concept. Invisible red strings. Fate. The one.

My parents sat me down one fine day and explained to me how two people that were meant to be together were connected by an invisible red thread tied to their little fingers.

All I asked them at the time was if the thread was invisible, how did people know it was red. They told me I'll find out in due time.

I still didn't know the answer to that.

But after my five-year-old brain had absorbed the newly received information, I got obsessed with finding my soulmate.

There was something incredibly reassuring about having someone only meant for you. But wrapped around it was the uncertainty of how and when and you will find them, or even if you'll find them.

After that day, I would constantly find myself reaching for my pinky finger, a calmness washing over me, a hope to find someone, and call them mine.

My friends and I spent hours discussing our soulmates, what they would look like, how would we meet them, and so on. Our parents would look at us and coo, mostly finding this adorable, reminding them of a time when they were young and probably did the same.

That's how things worked.

I was ten and had left my obsession behind. I still found comfort in my little finger during times of sadness and anger.

One night in the middle of June, after a big fight with my parents, I ran up to my room, plopped myself on the bed, and let loose all the emotions building up in me. 

It was a few hours later when my breathing calmed down and the tears on my cheeks dried when my left hand reached for my pinky, and my fingers felt a soft textured thread reaching out from it.

My eyes widened as I looked down at my hands but found nothing, only my fingers wrapped around what seemed to be air, a few inches in front of my right hand's littlest finger.

I could not comprehend what had happened and chalked it up to delusions due to my tiredness.

The next morning I woke up, groggy, my hands automatically reached for the supposed string that I could feel the previous night and found that I could still touch it. "Maybe I am still tired," I convinced myself before sleeping for another few hours.

It was after spending a few days just feeling out the string that I realised I could touch the red string of fate.

My parents didn't believe so, they thought I was still a delusional kid with my head up in the clouds. They found it cute for a couple of days, happy that I was still interested in finding a soulmate, but then my constant attempts at convincing them that it was true got annoying for them.

No one seemed to believe me, and my friends thought I was lying for attention.

Nothing like this had ever happened. Fate worked mysteriously, fate worked behind the scenes. No one was supposed to know how, it just worked. I must be lying.

Since no one believed me, I found solace in my thread, in my soulmate. I tried pulling the string, hoping the one on the other side would reply, would pull it towards them as well. But nothing.

I guessed maybe they couldn't feel the string as well, just like everybody else. But my soulmate was not like everybody else. If I could touch the thread then they could as well, after all, our souls were connected. Maybe they just didn't want me.

I never stopped though, just like my pinky had become my safety blanket, I found a new comfort in pulling the thread, twisting it between my fingers, still praying that my other half could feel it, even if they didn't respond.

I would spend hours trying to follow the thread, but it seemed endless and at the time, my block was where my world ended. My soulmate was way out of my reach.

Three months later, in the middle of my English class, I felt it. A tug. I looked down, before realising I could not see it. I almost laughed at my stupidity, but it was clear as day, my soulmate had responded. 

My head shook as a slow smile crept up my face and I couldn't stop the sigh leaving my mouth. My classmates probably worried about my sanity, shaking my head and smiling at nothing sitting in the centre of the classroom. But I didn't care.

Knowing that there indeed was someone on the other side was like finding a piece of land after a lifetime at sea. I didn't waste a second to reply and received a tug again. I smiled, he was here and he was here to stay.

It was the start of something new. Every time, one of us felt down or lonely or happy we would pull at our thread, we now had someone to share those moments with.

I didn't know if his family or friends knew about us, but it felt like our secret.

Over the years, we formed this new language between us. Sometimes, we would pull the thread at the same time, or wait for the other to respond but no one would. It was uncoordinated and messy, like two drunk people attempting to dance, but it was ours.

I was eighteen when I figured a way to enhance our communication. Morse code.

It was some random detective show that gave me the idea and it seemed perfect. I just didn't know how to communicate this to him.

It took me less than a month to learn morse code. After I was done learning, I tried pulling at the thread in a specific pattern ‘Hey Soulmate’.

He wouldn't understand the message, but I prayed he would realise what it was.

He did.

Somehow, my soulmate had lost the ability to disappoint me. I smiled at the thought.

It took weeks of incomprehensible back and forth between us for us to finally be able to understand each other. It was hard, but we achieved it.

I realised two things from our exchanges.

One- My soulmate was a dork, his dad jokes were endless and two- I loved every second of it.

He would start pulling at the string in the middle of the night and I had to grab the notepad and pencil from my bedside table and decipher his messages half-asleep. And It would end up being some lame knock-knock joke.

You bet I laughed every time.

 Which always led me to wonder what it would be like to actually be with him. How would he be as a partner? Would he hold my hand walking down the street? Would he kiss me in front of his friends? What nickname would he give me or would he give me any at all?

I spent most of my time talking to Harry, whose name I had learnt in one of our earliest full conversations.

My parents let it slide, believing it to be some teenage issues. My friends were lucky enough to have found their own soulmates at a young enough age and were too busy being in love.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" I asked him one night.

I kept staring at the neon stars on my ceiling. Trying to conjure his face in my mind as I waited for his response, but didn't feel the now familiar tug that carried his replies.

It seemed like hours before my little finger was finally pulled at. With my notepad and pencil at the ready, I was prepared to write. “A musician”.

The corners of my mouth were pulled upwards and I imagined a young faceless man with a guitar in his hand performing in a stadium for thousands of people.

A laugh left me when I pictured him ending his concert with a final joke. People would groan at him but laugh nonetheless. They would love him too.

My mind then wandered to a future where he was performing at the Madison Square Garden, people screaming I love you from the audience. A huge smile gracing his lips. He would then came home late at night after the concert and lay down on the bed next to me. He would wrap his arm around my sleeping form and whisper I love you in my ear and I would respond with a sleepy mmph. He would smile down at me and eventually fall asleep too.

I looked down at the thread which was still pulling but all I could catch was a question mark. I cursed myself for not paying attention and asked him to repeat his question.

“What about you, Lovie?"

I stilled. Lovie? A nickname. So he was a nickname kinda guy.

I almost forgot to reply to him. But then instantly hit him back with a “Journalist”.

My pinky was pulled again, “Maybe that is how we will cross paths”.

I liked the thought.

"Owww," my right hand was pulled harshly when I stood up to submit my English assignment, causing me to fall forward. I was confused for a few seconds, trying to piece what caused it, but found nothing.

I looked around as everyone was laughing at my clumsiness, still dazed, I stood up and placed my essay on my teacher's table who looked at me with her eyebrows furrowed in concern, her lips parted to whisper "Are you okay?"

I nodded my head and returned to my seat, head down and my thoughts racing a thousand miles a minute. Before it clicked, Harry. I couldn't believe he made me fall down on purpose, or maybe it was an accident.

“Sorry”

I shook my head at my clumsy partner and focused on my teacher who had started talking about something else already.

I wasn't going to let the incident go that soon. During our next conversation, instead of sending him a reply, I held onto the soft, invisible thread tightly and yanked it towards me.

Not getting a reply soon after, I started worrying I had actually hurt him. Panic flowed through me, this was an insane idea, why would I do that? What if he was driving? What if he was at a height?

“Owww”

I admit I laughed, the incident wasn't hilarious enough to call for that level of laughter, but I did.

All my panic had immediately flown out of me. I loved it; before he pulled his end of the string again and made me fall down.

Thus, welcomed a new addition to our language.

We would yank our strings during mid-conversations, making the other fall down wherever they were. Did injury turn us on? We never tried to guess.

~

Moving to college was harder than I thought, I didn't know if I was moving closer to Him or farther away.

I considered asking him where he lived, but shook the thought away, we had promised not to reveal to each other any of our identifiable qualities except for our first names. We wanted to leave some things up to the true mastermind, Fate.

Going to New York University was my dream. Receiving my acceptance letter was an emotional moment for me, it took my Mom like an hour to calm me down enough to actually read the letter.

So, physically being here, standing in my dorm room was another level of excitement. I was ready to bedazzle the world with my writing.

"Ouch," someone came rushing into me from the back. I turned around to look at the person who bumped into me, only to find a five-foot-something, brown-haired girl standing in front of me, rubbing her forehead.

"Hi."

"Hello, you must be the roommate. I'm Olivia, what about you?" Her eyes held a curious gaze, as she extended her right hand towards me.

"Y/n," I placed my hand in hers and shook it lightly, having a good feeling about her.

"Y/n, brace yourself, we're gonna be best friends for a really long time."

I knew it.

During my time at NYU, Olivia really did become my best friend, she introduced me to her soulmate, Ashley, who was somehow an even bigger bundle of joy than Liv. I didn't know that was possible.

"Who're those guys?"

"Hmm?"

"In your poster, I have always wanted to ask you that," I pointed at the big poster Liv had stuck on her wall in our first year.

She looked at me, her brows raised up to her forehead and her mouth agape, "You don't know One Direction?"

"I mean, I have heard of them. Are they any good?" I remembered my friends back home making me listen to a song of theirs, "What makes you beautiful', it was catchy but I never dug deeper into them. I didn't even know why.

"Only the best," her mouth was set into a hard line, but her forehead was covered in creases as though she was thinking deeply about something.

"Come on, I'll show you their songs. I don’t why we’ve never done this before.”

This commenced a whole night of one direction albums, music videos, their documentary, and their recent concert film. She even called Ashley to our room, which began an intense lesson on the fandom ships, theories, and dramas. It was a busy night.

By the next day, I was more knowledgable about one direction than I had ever intended to be. I didn't it mind it though, I got to further learn the inner makings of my best friend.

I had to admit, I was a little partial towards Harry Styles, his name had become a personal favourite of mine. Plus, he was cute.

I also noticed how clumsy he was on stage. Constantly falling down, mid-performances. It was hilarious. Olivia told me that's just how he was. Goofy, dorky, always telling lame jokes.

“Do you know one direction?”

I waited for his reply, this one took longer than our previous ongoing conversation. I didn't like it when he replied late.

“Yes.”

“Olivia introduced me to them.”

“Who do you like the best?”

I didn't even have to think about it at all, “Harry styles.”

I hoped he was smiling, where ever he was.

“Really? Not my personal favourite.”

That idiot. My face was hurting from smiling so much. I wondered how I would even be in this guy's presence without physically hurting my cheeks.

But I knew I wouldn't mind it, as long as I could be with him.

“Who do you like then?”

“You.”

~

I had never known how successful my dream of becoming a journalist could be. All I knew of back then was my talent for writing and my passion to make my voice heard. And it was all I had ever needed.

Rolling Stone was a magazine only a few could say they were not familiar with. And even fewer who wrote for it.

I was one lucky girl, who worked through countless unpaid internships before finally landing a job at this prestigious place. I had written quite a few articles under the politics section of the magazine.

I kept up with Harry over the years, at this point I knew basically everything about him, except for what he did for a living, where he lived, and who he was. But I loved him. And I waited for him, even if did get tiring at times.

Everywhere I went, it felt like everyone had found their soulmates except for me. I was the one girl standing alone in the middle of a dance floor during a couple's song.

All these years he still seemed none the closer to me.

We still found joy in tripping each other during random hours of the day though; Falling for him was the highlight of my day.

~

"Maybe if I yank it hard enough, I'll pull him to me."

I had a rocky relationship with my parents, they had never believed in me, too busy in their own love story to pay attention to their only daughter. I couldn't hold it against them though if you had something as beautiful as they did, why would you focus on anything else.

I sigh in bitterness as my Mom rambled on about how she met my Dad. Although I had heard the story a billion times, it still made me smile. Then, reminded me how I didn't have that.

My phone started vibrating next to me, I looked at it to find it was my boss calling me. I tilted my head upwards, trying to recall if I had informed her of my visit to my parents' house. I had.

Confused, I picked up the phone, "Y/N, you need to come to the office now. We need you to take over the article Rob Sheffield was supposed to write," my boss's commanding voice instantly hits my ears, making me flinch backwards.

"Wait, what?"

"Rob had an urgent business to attend to and you are the only replacement available." Her voice carried her usual urgency.

"But Rob is a music journalist, I write politics." Her words were rushing past me and it was getting harder for me to keep up.

"Obviously I know that, but as I said you are the only replacement available, everyone else is already working on their pieces. Come to the office and get your assignment. Now." When I was told my boss did not joke around, they were not kidding.

As soon as she hung up, I started packing up my stuff. I explained to my Mom about the situation, her shoulders slumped, I knew she really wanted to spend more time with me, but she sighed, nodding her head in understanding.

Walking into the Rolling Stone's office every day still brought me back to my first day here. When I was a twenty-three-year-old naive girl, with a heart full of determination and a head full of ideas.

The elevator doors opened and my eyes fell upon the old Rolling Stone covers hung from the wall, they looked like gold records in a music studio. I walked down the lobby to the reception and asked Ally if my boss was available.

I knocked at her door, patiently waiting for her to invite me in. Three years later and I was still deathly afraid of her.

"Y/n, you are going to interview Harry Styles. You'll leave for LA tomorrow morning, and meet him first thing after landing, hang out with him a couple days, get to know him, this is going to be the cover story. I know music is not your department but right now I really don't have any other option. Do your research all day today, we'll publish the article in next month's issue. It better be good." She clicked her fingers, pointing them at me and then shooed me away from the entrance of her cabin.

"Harry Styles huh," I walked towards my desk remembering all the late-night dance parties I had with Liv and Ashley during college, blasting all of One direction's hits, discussing fan theories and whatnot.

The familiar pull nay yank brought me back to the present, on my office floor, with my colleagues watching over the all too familiar scene.

A smile graced my lips, at this point I had lost the ability to feel shame. I sat down on my desk and pulled at my thread.

“You will pay for this.”

“I am ready when you are, Lovie.”

How was our relationship ever going to work if I was ready to melt any time he called me that.

I knew he was waiting for me to trip him, but I didn't. I would get him when he wouldn't expect it. Not today sir, not today.

I went to start researching on Harry Styles and preparing my questions for tomorrow. A groan escaped my lips as I slammed my forehead on the table, this was not enough time.

Harry Styles was a multi-millionaire, platinum record selling artist with millions of fans. He was portrayed to be this womaniser, who played with people's hearts. But, the first thing I learnt about him during my research was of his kind heart.

I surfed through countless videos of his interactions with fans, clips from his concerts, conversations with paparazzi and not once did I find him in a bad mood or as someone less than the absolute model of perfection. Everybody had bad days, well everyone but Mr.Styles apparently.

As someone only writing about the people in power; the politicians, the stark deviance from my usual subjects was a well-welcomed change.

He was a part of various charities, always preaching about love and kindness. Honestly, I was a little jealous of how lucky his soulmate was, to have someone like him.

After reading possibly everything I could about Harry, I started working on the questions I would ask him. I was determined to know how he managed to be the way he was. How he remained calm even after constantly being harassed by fans and paps alike; How after all these years, he still didn't let the fame get to his head.

I woke up the next morning feeling weird tingles in my stomach, I wasn't able to determine if it was good or bad. I went about my usual routine trying to ignore the tingly feeling. I read through my questions again, I had formed a sort of admiration for Harry (the singer) and I wasn't going to embarrass myself when it mattered the most.

I checked myself in the mirror one last time, feeling good with the outfit I went for- a tan, high-waisted lace-up jumpsuit. My confident outfit seemed like compensation for the nerves running through my body.

My mind wandered to my soulmate for a second, wondering what he must be up to right now. I looked up at myself in the mirror again and saw the smile on my face. Only for you, partner. I shook my head, picked up my suitcase and left for the airport.

The last thing I wanted to do after a six-hour flight was to meet an international celebrity, but I shrugged, a job was a job.

The deli we were supposed to meet at was a quaint place, the two ladies working there were incredibly sweet. They greeted me with the widest smiles and escorted me to a semi-secluded corner when I told them about the purpose of my visit. They doted about Harry, who I concluded was a regular here, calling him 'my love'.

Harry hadn't arrived yet and I was starving, the fragrance of different foods in the deli wafted to my nose, serving as a constant reminder of my hunger. The ladies whose names I had learnt to be Gloria and Raisa noticed my condition and offered to bring me a sandwich, but I declined the offer, not wanting to order before Harry's arrival, considering it to be a bit rude.

But, ever the saviour Harry entered the deli soon after, I admit I released a long breath in relief, I would finally get to order.

Harry's presence was like a force of nature, no one could escape it. I stood up from my seat, without thinking twice as if something compelled me to honour it. I couldn't pry my eyes away from him, and I didn't want to. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.

Every step of his brought him closer to me, the weird tingles I had been feeling all morning intensified, crawling up to every part of my body. I wanted something, anything to help me ground myself.

My hands frantically searched around for my thread, and as soon as my fingers made contact with the string of fate, the familiar calm washed over me.

Maybe in my frantic state, I pulled the string too hard. I winced, almost closing my eyes as Harry's expression changed into one of panic, his eyes widening as he fell forward. I worried about my Harry as well, realising how hard I must have pulled the thread.

Oh.

OH.

I rushed towards Harry, helping him up. When my hand touched his bicep, a warmth started flooding through my veins, locking eyes with him, I knew he was experiencing the same thing as well.

We both looked down towards our hands and a red string was seen connecting our pinkies. We met each other's eyes again.

"Hi," he gave me a toothy grin. I could die a thousand times for his smile.

"Hello," his eyes, a little sunken, were the most beautiful green I had ever seen, I could spend a lifetime getting lost in them.

"Well since I've already fallen for you, how abou' we go out to eat something. Oh wait, we're already here." His chest was out, and his eyes gleamed at his statement, he was weirdly proud of his jokes.

My entire body shook, I didn't know if I was laughing at his ‘Pick up line' or the situation. I was standing in front of my soulmate, whom I've pined after all my life, only for him to turn out to be Harry fucking Styles.

His brows furrowed in concern as I continued laughing, even he realised his joke was not funny enough to prompt this big of a guffaw.

I took a step back, my hands reaching up to rest on the sides of my face, tears were streaming down my face from laughing too much. Harry's contorted face making me laugh louder. I could not stop.

He reached out his hands and wrapped them around mine. I noted how big his hands were compared to mine, warmer too. "Hey, are you okay?"

 I nodded my head, taking deep breaths to calm myself. When I seemed to have a hold on my laugh, another round burst from me. I started shaking again.

At this point, Harry had given up on me and started laughing as well. We were garnering unneeded attention but we couldn't stop. I noticed from the corner of my eyes, Gloria and Raisa were hovering around us protectively, not letting anyone come near us. Angels.

After several minutes or hours, we stopped for good. And even though my stomach was hurting like a bitch, my smile couldn't have been wider.

"So, it's you huh," I started, bringing Harry to my table, "My soulmate heh." My palms were getting sweaty, I tried to subtly wipe them on my pants.

He sat across me, reaching out and grabbing my hands in his again. I changed our hand positions, interlocking my fingers with his. The red string between us lengthening and shortening constantly, conforming to our movements.

He nodded, a smile ever-present on his face. He released a small breath, his shoulders slumped slightly, "I've dreamed of this moment for years. It's good to finally meet you, Lovie."

A weird gurgle-like sound left my mouth. My eyes widened as I covered my mouth, horrified and embarrassed at the same time.

He just looked amused, raising his eyebrows as if to ask me what the fuck was that.

"It's just, it keeps hitting me that this moment is real. That you are here in front of me and you are the Harry Styles-" my eyes continued to dart down to the striking red colour of the thread I was so accustomed to not seeing "-But like you are also just Harry, who I've known all my life." 

"I get tha', I do," he nodded fervently, "All my life, I pictured a faceless girl when I imagined a life with you. Now everything seems complete, like the final piece of the puzzle has been placed and I can see my life as a whole picture and I see you with me," he then shrugged his shoulders, wanting to be seen nonchalant.

Hearing him reflect on everything that I've been feeling as well, brought tears in my eyes. He noticed my eyes getting glassy,

"Was it too much too soon?" His fingers were slightly tapping on the table, he kept looking down at our joined hands and biting his lips. My eyes fell to his lips, I hadn't noticed how pink they were.

"No, no, not at all," my hold on his hands tightened as I shook my head, trying to ease his nerves as well.

I went silent for a minute, not sure if I should continue before starting to tap a pattern on the table. One I hoped he would get without having to write it down.

“I love you.”

If the smile on his face were to say anything, it was that he got it. Of course, he would.

Our fingers started to tingle, pulling our attention towards them as we watched the red string starting to disappear.

When it seemed to be fully gone, I traced my hand around the table, checking if I could still feel it, I couldn't. It had really gone away.

I knew this would happen, but it didn't make saying goodbye any easier. Harry brought our hands together again, catching my attention again, "I don't need the string any more, I have you in my arms now." He rested his forehead on mine, breathing slowly.

He then brought my hands up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on my knuckles. Causing a soft gasp to leave my lips. I swear he would kill me one day.

"I love you too, Lovie."

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #soulmate au #fluff #harry styles fluff #invisible string #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n

[cocobeanncteez]

ATEEZ Wooyoung- School President (Oneshot)

Genre: light angst, suggestive/steamy, high school au.

Pairing: SchoolPresident!Wooyoung x badgirl!reader

Warnings: none.

"Miss L/N, detention after school till 4 p.m." your chemistry teacher said, making you mentally groan. It was the last class of the day and you were dying to go home, but now you had to stay for an extra hour. All your classmates turned to look at you, but they weren't surprised. "You still haven't submitted the assignment."

"Can I just submit it tomorrow?" you asked in a bored tone.

"No, you were supposed to submit it a week ago," she said, gathering her stuff to leave the class. "Detention with Mrs. Hwang today." You heard people around you snicker. Well, fuck. Mrs. Hwang was the strictest teacher in school. Even you were scared of her despite your badass attitude.

You got up from your seat, leaving the classroom with an annoyed expression on your face.

"Detention again, Y/N?" your bestfriend asked as she made her way to you with your other friends.

You rolled your eyes. "Ms. Jang will never fucking let me live in peace. I'll see you guys tomorrow," you said, making your way to detention.

You were surprised to find the room empty. Usually, there would always be about three or five students. Since no one was here, you decided to ditch; you would skip school the next day so that your teachers will forget about it. You turned around to leave, but ended up bumping into someone, slightly startling yourself.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at your school president and heartthrob—also called 'senior's eye candy' at your school—Jung Wooyoung.

You had to admit, he was certainly the most handsome guy you've ever seen. Jung Wooyoung was absolutely perfect. Every girl wanted him and every guy wanted to be him. You were sure half your school tried to hit on him despite the fact that he has a girlfriend.

"Unfortunately, I'm here to make sure that you won't escape detention as Mrs. Hwang is busy, so take a seat," he said, moving around you to sit on a chair and taking a notebook out of his bag.

You always found Jung Wooyoung very interesting. Other guys like him—the nerdy ones—can't even talk to you, let alone look you in the eye. Jung Wooyoung was the complete opposite.

You sat on one of the chairs, immediately taking your phone out.

"You can't use your phone here," Wooyoung said, not looking up at you from his notebook. "Why don't you complete your assignment?"

You scoffed. "And if I don't? What are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing," he said, looking at you. "It's not affecting me in any way, so I don't care. However, Ms. Jang is gonna fail you again if you don't submit your assignment."

You knew he was right. And that annoyed you; you really just wanted to shut his pretty mouth up.

"Whatever," you mumbled, taking out a notebook and the assignment sheet to start working on the reactions you had to write.

However, you were completely blank. You didn't know or understand a word given on the sheet. You bit your lip as you stared at the sheet, wondering what to do.

Finally, you took out your phone and googled all the reactions, easily finishing the assignment in less than half an hour.

"You know, you won't be able to copy during finals," Wooyoung said, closing his notebook. "Even if you're copying now, at least learn what you've copied."

"I didn't ask for your comments," you retort. He was about to say something, but his phone rang.

"Hey, baby," he answered. " . . . I'm in charge of detention today . . . Oh, that's okay," his face fell slightly. " . . . No, it's alright. We can go some other day . . . Hmm, I love you too. Bye!"

You snorted, feeling bad for the boy. You were surprised someone as smart as him hasn't figured out that his girlfriend has been cheating on him. You've seen his girlfriend shoving her tongue down random people in the club, and hitting on people at your school. You remembered how shocked you were when you first found out that she was cheating on him; because why would anyone cheat on someone as perfect as Jung Wooyoung?

"You can leave now," Wooyoung said, getting up from his seat. "Detention is over." You nodded, leaving as fast as you can, just wanting to go home and sleep.

"Your grades aren't very bad, but they aren't great either, Y/N," your class teacher said. "You'll get into an average college with these grades. But I know you can do much better. So I've asked one of the prefects to tutor you in Chemistry and Physics."

You groaned. "Can I do it by myself?"

"You wouldn't do it by yourself," she said. "Anyway, Jung Wooyoung will be tutoring you. Discuss and decide your timings with him. I expect you to score well on the next exam. I do not want to see you fail in any subject again." Before you could say anything, the door to the staff room opened, revealing none other than Jung Wooyoung. "Ah, Wooyoung, I just told Y/N that you will be tutoring her," she said. "I'm expecting you to do a great job."

Wooyoung smiled. "I won't let you down, Mrs. Park. But Y/N must put in efforts or else there's no point," he stated in a polite tone, and you rolled your eyes.

"Yes, that's true," she turned to look at you. "I'm expecting nothing but your best efforts, Y/N." She's always expecting something, huh, you thought. You only smiled, bowing politely.

"I'll do my best."

-

"What the actual fuck is this?" you mumbled, staring at the lengthy derivation written in Wooyoung's notebook. He rolled his eyes, so tired of hearing you say that to literally everything you saw written in his notebook.

"Ah, why did they have to make me tutor you of all people?" he whined. "You clearly haven't paid attention in class for even half a second."

"No one told you to accept it," you said, ignoring his last comment.

"I had to," he scoffed, stretching his arms out, making you glance at the veins on his arms. "Extra credits, you know?"

"Nerd," you muttered under your breath. He heard you, but didn't say anything. He began teaching you how to derive it; you paid attention for the first few seconds before zoning out. When you zoned back in, he asked you to explain what he just explained. You bit your lip, thinking of what to say.

He sighed. "You didn't pay attention again."

"I zoned out, sorry."

"That's what you said for the previous derivation," he said, a disappointed look on his face while he packed up his things.

"You're leaving already?" you asked, glancing at the time on your phone; you still had twenty minutes left.

"I'm not going to waste my time teaching you right now," he said. "You clearly aren't in the mood to focus." You only scoffed, watching him leave the library. You bit your lip, feeling kinda bad for not paying attention when he was making an effort to teach you.

The look of disappointment he showed you had somehow made you determined to prove that you could focus and do better.

You were at Wooyoung's house, sitting on his bed and scrolling through your social media while waiting for him to finish changing out of his uniform. You spent an entire two weeks studying your ass off, and you were proud you made a big improvement, thanks to Wooyoung. He was quite surprised that you were actually making an effort to understand whatever he taught you. You both even became friends, and you were quite happy about that.

"I'm done," he said, coming out of his bathroom, making you look up from your phone. You held your breath at the sight of Wooyoung dressed in grey sweatpants and a black tank top. You couldn't stop yourself from checking him out: the veins running down his muscled arms, his exposed collarbones, his sharp jawline, his plump lips . . .

You were so immersed into checking him out, you didn't realize he was doing the same to you. He loved how your uniform skirt rid up your thighs, and how another two buttons on your shirt were unbuttoned, exposing a little bit of your cleavage. Before you knew it, he was slowly making his way towards you, eyes now locked with yours.

"Let's start, hmm?" he said with a smirk; he knew you were checking him out.

You clear your throat a little. "Yeah, let's start."

You spent the next half an hour trying to pay attention to whatever Wooyoung was teaching you. It didn't help that he absentmindedly placed his hand on your knee, or brushed your hand with his; he knew exactly what he was doing to you. Your mind kept wandering to the things you want him to do to you right now on his bed.

" . . . and now you should tell me," he leaned a little close to you with a smirk, making your heartbeat speed up. "Which formula should be used?"

"Fuck this," you muttered, pushing the books aside before straddling Wooyoung's lap.

"Took you long enough," he chuckled, and you crashed your lips on his. He instantly kissed you back, hands moving to grip your waist. You wouldn't admit it to anyone, but you have been dreaming about kissing Wooyoung the second he talked back to you a year ago.

You pulled away to litter his neck in kisses, sucking the skin gently. He groaned softly, making you smirk. "Fan of neck kisses?"

"You have no idea," he said, hands moving underneath your skirt to grip your bare inner thighs. He gave it a squeeze, making you involuntarily grind down on him. He moaned at the feeling, encouraging you to do it again. You moved your lips back to his, grinding on him even more. Wooyoung's hands slipped into your panties, grabbing your ass to help you grind down on him faster. The friction made you moan, craving for more. You tugged on his shirt, breaking the kiss to let him pull it off. You ran your hand down his toned torso in awe, loving the feeling of his abs beneath your fingertips. Your eyes widened at the tattoo above his hip bone. "You have a tattoo?!"

Wooyoung gripped your hips, moving you off of him so that he could hover over you. "Mhmm, bet you never expected the nerdy school president to have a tattoo, huh?" Your hands moved to his hair, playing it with while he began to kiss your neck, driving you crazy.

Wooyoung kissed down your chest till where your shirt was unbuttoned. He glanced up at you, fingers toying with the buttons. "Can I?" he asked. You nodded, letting him unbutton your shirt and slip it off you. You sucked in a breath when he ran his fingers over the lacy material of your bra.

"Take it off," you whined, making him chuckle.

"Patience, baby," he said, one hand gently rubbing your thigh.

But you really didn't have any patience right now.

You brought his lips to yours while you moved his hand to touch you where you desperately needed him, surprising him a little. He kissed you back hungrily while his finger moved on your clothed clit, applying pressure, making you get wetter. Your moans made him smirk; he loved how he was the reason behind it.

You both got startled at the sudden sound of his garage opening. He halted his movements, pulling away from you instantly.

"One of my parents is back from work," he said, quickly putting on his tank top and handing you your uniform shirt. You quickly buttoned it and straightened out your hair; you really did not want Wooyoung's strict parents to suspect anything since they already did not like the idea of him tutoring you in his final year of high school.

Wooyoung's father knocked on his bedroom door before opening it, finding you and Wooyoung busy writing equations.

"Oh, hey, dad! How was work?" Wooyoung asked with a sweet, innocent smile like as if he wasn't smirking a few minutes ago while touching you.

"Hello, Mr. Jung," you said politely.

"Hello, Y/N," he said. "Work was all right, as usual. How is your tutoring session going?"

"Good, dad," Wooyoung said, trying to control himself from smirking. "It's going really great."

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez wooyoung #wooyoung #jung wooyoung #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez smut #wooyoung smut #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung angst #wooyoung fluff #san #mingi #jongho #Hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #wooyoung imagines #ateez suggestive #ateez oneshots #wooyoung oneshot #ateez high school au #ateez story #ateez reactions #jung wooyoung imagines #ateez wooyoung smut #ateez san #ateez timestamps

[megumisbimbo]

Marry the Stars - Chapter 2

series masterlist

Pairing: Levi x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Content: College au, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Eventual Smut

Summary: A fresh semester with new faces and new opportunities. Y/N had just started her job as a professor at Eldia University and was determined to make it the best semester yet. A moody philosophy professor gets in the way of her plans. Will she be able to capture his heart, or will she accidentally win the heart of her student?

taglist: @awkwardangelthings @vinseul @txzierbaby @mitsuluv @oblxvion @fiaficsxo @aotwrites @piscesfairies @rintarouss @shisoaya @ikigaitooru @innrsoul @dancingazaleas @sukunas-lady @x6nji @izukine @luvmegumi @erekami @hoeyadoingbitch

“That profesor of ours is really something huh?” Armin asks. 

Mikasa and Eren stand beside him as they walk to their next class.

“I like her, she seems like she really cares about her students.” Eren answers.

“Yeah like...really cares.”

“Anyways, I’ve scheduled a one on one with her since I’m majoring in her field. Mikasa says. 

“You can do that?!?” 

“Don’t get any ideas Eren.”

“What do you me-” 

“We all see the way you stare at her, it’s not a secret you think she’s hot.” Armin explains.

“Who’s hot?” a voice behind them says.

“Jean? Shouldn’t you be at practice?” Armin asks, looking over at Eren questioningly.

“Yes, but I came looking for Eren. We have a game tomorrow and he’s in the starting lineup. You’ll come watch us right Mikasa?” 

“Don’t I always come to your games?” 

“Yeah but you leave whenever Eren’s off the court.” Jean answers. 

Eren gives Mikasa a confused look. Her eyes shift to the floor, refusing to look at either man.

“We’ll all be there Jean. Now, Mikasa and I have another class and Eren you need to get to practice. We’ll see you guys later.” Armin says, wrapping his arm around Mikasa’s wilted form and dragging her down the hallway. 

————

“Levi can you pass me the sodium chloride?” 

“No.”

“Please? My hands are full.” 

Levi turns and eyes the taller woman who’s carefully holding a burning hot beaker.

“Hurry! This experiment is time sensitive!”

“I’m not even in proper gear Hange. What if it gets on me?” 

“It’s salt Levi!!” 

Levi hurries over to the counter opposite Hange and picks up the container labeled sodium chloride. She instructs him to pour some into a test tube. He follows her directions and rushes away from the scene, eager to get back to his book and far away from Hange’s latest experiment. As much as Levi hates Hange’s antics, he couldn’t help but feel thankful for having a friend like her.

“So are you coming to the meeting today? I heard they’re introducing a new curriculum.” Hange asks.

“I hate those meetings.”

“Yeah well just because we’re friends with the principle, doesn’t mean either of us can skip out.”

“I wouldn’t skip the meetings if anything actually applied to me. We only ever gather to talk about the science departments. The humanities department is almost always overlooked. It’s not Erwin’s fault, the principal can only do so much.” 

“I suppose, but you should still go.” 

“I’ll think about it.”

————

You walk into the room, professors and administrative employees mingling around you. You don't seem to recognize anyone, so you take a seat at the back and pull out your phone. You scroll through your emails and notice one from a student with a familiar name.

Hello Professor, 

My name is Mikasa Ackerman, we met the other day. As you know, I’m an anthropology major, and I was hoping I could meet with you sometime to discuss matters related to my major and classes and universities you would recommend. Thank you so much.

Mikasa Ackerman. 

Mikasa...I recognize that name, but I can’t remember her face...Anyways I’ll respond when I get back home.  

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?” A tall woman with glasses asks you. 

“No, it’s not.” You respond, giving her a bright smile. You turn your attention back to your phone, reading over a few more administrative emails. She happily sits down in the seat next to you and turns her head to look you over. Your head turns in her direction once again, this time giving her a confused look.

“Um…do you need something ma’am?” 

“Huh? Oh no- sorry was I staring?”

You nod sheepishly, a small giggle leaving your lips. Her attention turns to the front of the room and she waves her hands frantically in the direction of another man. Oh it’s the same guy I bumped into. 

“Levi!! Over here!! I saved you a seat!” 

The man hurries over and slaps a hand onto the woman’s mouth. 

“Hange would you quit yelling?!” 

“Sorry.” She answers, barely audible due to the hand currently smothering her.

You observe the pair, trying hard not to be caught noticeably staring. Would be weird considering I just called her out for staring at me. 

The shorter man takes a seat as a blonde man takes the stage. This is Erwin, the principle of Eldia University, aka, the guy who interviewed you. 

“Thank you all for coming today, this meeting will be brief and it will cover the new material for the humanities courses.”

“See Levi, this is why you shouldn’t skip the meetings.” Hange whispers.

“Well this is a first..” Levi responds, pulling out the IPad he uses for work.

“Oh ho ho look who’s getting all excited now.” Hange says, nudging Levi in the shoulder 

“Shut up four eyes.” 

Your ears perk up as well. You had put in a request for a field trip to the National Museum of Anthropology and were eagerly waiting for a response. You planned on assigning them a report about their time and experience at the museum, rather than have them regurgitate all the information you taught that semester.

“In regards to the anthropology museum trip submitted by Miss y/n, it has been approved.” Erwin says, glancing in your direction.

You smile and bow your head, silently thanking him. Levi follows Erwin’s eyes and finds that you’re the one he’s talking about. So you’re the new anthropology professor, the one Zeke was talking about. Zeke was the head of the humanities department as well as an economics professor. Levi didn’t particularly like him or how much of a flirt he can be with the ladies in their department. He definitely couldn’t understand why the board made Zeke the head of the department and not him, but he knew it wasn’t his place to complain about the decision, and he didn’t want to put Erwin in a bad situation. Both you and Levi listened intently to the words Erwin  spoke and after about half an hour, the meeting was over.

“That’s all for today, thank you everyone. Also, please make our new staff feel welcomed.” Erwin says, ending the meeting. You gather your things and make your way to the door as friendly faces smile in your direction. A tall figure stepping in front of you halts your movements, your eyes landing on a scruffy looking older man. Definitely not my type. 

“Hello Miss y/n, I’m Zeke Jaeger head of humanities.” The man says lightly grabbing your hand and placing a kiss on your knuckles. You awkwardly slide your hand out of his grasp and discreetly rub the unwelcomed kiss on your pants. 

“Nice to meet you Mr. Jaeger. I should get going. I'm late for an appointment.” 

You brush past him and hastily walk to your imaginary appointment. As you reach the door, you feel someone tap you on the shoulder. It better not be him again. You turn and see the woman you were sitting next to earlier and next to her, the man you’ve successfully pissed off twice.  

“Hi! you dropped this.” The woman says handing you a notebook. 

“Oh..um... that’s not mine.”

“I know, it’s mine, but I needed a reason to talk to you and this was the only thing I could think of.”

You giggle, receiving a bright smile from the woman.

“My name is Hange, Hange Zoe, and I’m a chemistry professor. If I’m being honest, I just wanted to introduce myself so I could ask if you wanted to join us for drinks tonight at 7.” She tilts her head towards the shorter man who sports an award winning scowl. 

“This is Levi Ackerman, and he teaches-”

“I can introduce myself Hange, anyways we’ve met before.”

“Oh you have?” 

“We haven’t spoken to each other but I have run into him before...literally. So what do you teach Mr. Ackerman?” You respond. 

“Philosophy.”

“And he’s damn good at it.” Hange adds.

You smile sweetly at both of them.

“I don’t think I’ll be busy tonight. I’d love to join you for drinks.” 

“Wonderful! We’ll see you at 7 then!”

You nod and finally reach the exit. You couldn’t lie, Levi was handsome. You wouldn’t mind getting a little bit closer to him. Anyways it might be helpful for work, since you both work in the same department. 

Tonight will be...interesting.

#marry the stars <3 #attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi attack on titan #levi x you #levi x y/n #attack on titan series #attack on titan college au #attack on titan eren #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyoujin levi #shingeki no kyoujin eren #eren jaeger #eren jeager #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #jean kirschtein #hange zoe #hange zöe #zeke jaeger #zeke jeager #aot #aot levi #aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot x you

[gendercensus]

On plural inclusivity and "plural they"

In the Gender Census feedback box and elsewhere I have frequently been asked:

to make the annual Gender Census survey more inclusive of plural participants, and

to add "plural they" to the checkbox pronouns list alongside "singular they" in order to be inclusive of plural participants.

It's a rambling topic, so I'll address them in sections in that order.

~

INCLUSIVITY RE: PLURAL PARTICIPANTS

I've been inviting plural people to take part in a short survey about the Gender Census, asking questions that help me get a feel for the issues involved and asking about whether people feel included in the survey (and why or why not). At the time of writing there have been 139 responses, I will leave it open for ongoing feedback, and I'm unlikely to be publishing the spreadsheet of results in full because the responses are off-topic and very personal. However, I will refer to some individual responses as well as my personal experience discussing inclusion with plural systems.

Here's a graph based on the responses so far:

I'm asking for direct feedback about this issue because over the past few years plural folks have been one of the more consistently vocal groups in the feedback box of the survey and elsewhere, which would usually be fine, but I've been finding it very overwhelming and confusing. I think that's because the advice/demands/questions have been unusually inconsistent, often to the point of being in direct opposition to each other, and the result is that I have no idea what to do.

Before now, most plural people have understood that it's quite a nuanced issue. When asked I would explain that if they felt that filling it in once for the whole system made more sense they should do that, and if individual system members felt strongly that they should participate alone then they could do so.

This year it got to the point where I had to make a decision and write unambiguous, easy-to-follow guidance about how plural people should fill in the survey, because I had one system submitting dozens of responses and giving the exact same three points of feedback, paraphrased, over and over - making it look like many unconnected people felt strongly about these particular issues, when in reality it was all this one system. I decided that, to be as fair as possible, plural people should fill in the survey once per body.

When I posted about the "once per body" policy on social media I received very little direct feedback, which leaves me in the position of not knowing whether that's because I did it right and you have no complaints or because you've all jumped ship! The statistics and comments from the plural feedback survey are very helpful in this regard:

It seems that plural participants, on the whole, are fairly understanding about it all, often supportive, and are still able to participate. ("Unknown" and "no strong feelings" together are a much higher proportion than I expected.) Some positive feedback included appreciation for the ability to select as many gender identities and pronouns as one wants. Common arguments against the policy include feeling that system members are not treated as people in their own right, which is understandable; the Gender Census is designed to present practicable data about nonbinary people for use within a system that assigns one identity per body, socially and bureaucratically. A "once per body" policy makes sense when prioritising nonbinary people, but adds to the list of crap that only plural people have to struggle through when they're not the main focus of the research.

I was surprised that only a couple of people pointed out that some systems have amnesia between members, and so some systems may participate more than once per body unintentionally. (I understand that this is unavoidable, and I certainly wouldn't be upset about it. Sometimes non-plural people participate more than once by accident, too! On the scale we're talking about, I'm unlikely to even notice it happening.)

Back when I first started to get requests to make the Gender Census more plural-inclusive, my first move was to ask people what exactly they felt excluded by. Responses to this have been continuously nebulous, to the extent that I don't think I have ever made any design changes to the annual survey at all as a result. I also asked what they would do to improve the survey and help them to feel included, but this has yielded very few viable ideas for how to move forward, just because so many of the ideas that people suggest are mutually exclusive.

As an example, I spoke to one member of a system who expressed, understandably, that their experience of themselves as plural inextricably affected their experience of their gender(s), and after some discussion they concluded that the two were so intertwined that it made the most sense for it to be included in the identity question, e.g. a checkbox called "plural" alongside nonbinary, genderqueer, trans, etc. I explained that I don't arbitrarily add things to the checkbox list, but it would be counted if it was typed into a textbox underneath, and if it went over 1% I would consider adding it to the checkbox list. They became increasingly angry. The only way this situation would make sense for them moving forward was if I added "plural" as an identity checkbox option immediately. Conversely, just a couple of weeks previously I had spoken with a member of a system who was very vocally distressed at the idea of plurality being conflated with gender, and wanted to make sure that I never added "plural" as an identity checkbox option.

As another example, in the plural feedback survey when I asked people how they felt about the "once per body" policy, a member of one system was against it and said "it feels like this policy doesn’t recognize us as separate people", but a member of another system was in favour and said "we're encouraged by our therapist to think of ourselves as dissociated parts of a whole. So we're all one person, just not directly connected like a singlet [non-plural person] would be. From that perspective, it makes sense to keep us as one person in the gender census, no matter how many genders we have." It's not possible to reconcile these two perspectives.

From the very beginning up until now, the unifying theme for feedback from plural people and their allies is "please be more inclusive of plural people." That's a really good start! After that it becomes a plate of tangled spaghetti.

Here are some themes I've managed to tease out, and my thoughts.

"Each system's alter should be able to participate in the survey individually if they want to." Some systems have literally hundreds of alters, and several systems have acknowledged in the feedback survey that this is probably both impractical for many plural people and unfair on singlets.

"We're okay with taking part once for all of us in the system, but we're just checking all the boxes that apply to at least one of us, and some of those are explicitly disliked by at least one of us. This is uncomfortable." I think that's... probably okay, actually. Other subcategories of participants whose identities fluctuate that strongly (e.g. a genderfluid person who is sometimes very male and sometimes extremely not male) or whose pronouns are context-dependent are also in this predicament. Participants often express a desire to rank their identity terms by importance, accuracy, fluctuation or frequency. The survey aims to collect broad and fuzzy data about a very large group of people, to monitor trends and let people know what language we're comfortable with on the whole. This survey just isn't looking for that kind of nuance.

"We're okay with taking part in the survey once for everyone in the system, but there should be a way to separate out responses about different alters within that one response." It's literally impossible to program the survey to have infinite subsections for each alter, but if it were possible, what would I do with the data? I think the most likely approach would be combining into a list of identities etc. "per body". The participant would feel better for being able to enter different words for different alters, but it would be more work for them, and it would be more work for me to process responses from plural people just to have them be counted like those from non-plural people.

"There should be a 'plural' checkbox in the identity list so that we can express that our gender is influenced by our plurality." I consider adding terms to the identity checkbox list when they're typed into the textboxes by over 1% of participants. There are some situations where I'll make an exception to that rule, but it's unusual and this isn't one of them. Whether you enter a term using a checkbox or a textbox makes no difference to how well-represented you are in the results.

Maybe just a question that asks if you're plural, with a checkbox? What would this checkbox do? Plurality is beyond the scope of the survey, along with things like height and eye colour. It would allow curious people to analyse the responses using plurality as a variable, but I wouldn't include it in any analysis in an annual Gender Census report.

That last one is particularly interesting, because it's what I actually did in the supplementary survey. I wasn't 100% sure in advance whether or not I would need that information for the singular vs. plural they issue, so I included an "I am/we are plural" checkbox just to be on the safe side. As far as I could tell, the survey was no more or less materially inclusive than the annual Gender Census survey. There were a couple of interesting patterns to report in the statistics, but the main things I noticed were:

Feedback saying that the survey wasn't inclusive of plural people was non-existent.

Several people thanked me in the feedback box for making the survey plural-inclusive.

Several people promoted the survey on social media by using its plural-inclusivity as a selling point.

Again, the supplementary survey didn't take a different approach. There was no particular difference in language, there was no indication that whether or not you're plural would be integral to the reporting of the results or even used at all, the only difference was the existence of a checkbox that let participants declare their plurality.

That's all it took to cause a complete U-turn in feedback. A checkbox that doesn't relate to gender or connect to any of the other questions in any way, and isn't particularly statistically useful based on the supplementary survey. It doesn't make the survey more inclusive, it just acknowledges that some participants are plural, and gives them a way to declare it.

Whether or not participants are plural is beyond the scope of the Gender Census, which aims to collect broad data about how we as nonbinary and otherwise genderly-interesting people want the world to see and describe us. It just doesn't make sense to include questions about plurality in future surveys. But I'm honestly amazed and a little confused, because until the "once per body" policy was added it seems that there wasn't actually anything about the Gender Census that prevented plural people from participating, at least not more than anyone else whose genders change significantly over time.

~

SHOULD "PLURAL THEY" BE ADDED TO THE CHECKBOX PRONOUN LIST?

This is something that participants often ask me to do in order to make the survey more plural-inclusive, so I decided to seriously consider it.

The first draft of the supplementary survey asked over 1,000 participants about this issue, but I had to scrap those responses and then redesign and restart it because, even though dictionaries are fairly clear on what exactly "singular they" is, a lot of survey participants who are not dictionaries seemed to be in disagreement (or confusion) about what singular they and plural they actually are. I have been unable to find any academic or reference articles online using the phrase "plural they" at all.

Here are some of the things people have told me recently:

"Singular they" is when you use "they" with singular verbs, e.g. they is a teacher.

I can't say that I use "singular they" pronouns because I always say "they are". "They is" just sounds wrong to me.

"Plural they" is when you use "singular they" pronouns to refer to a system/someone who is plural.

"Singular they" and "plural they" are grammatically identical except for the name.

"Singular they" and "plural they" are functionally the same and should be combined into one option called "they" in the annual survey.

Let's start by stating what we do know for sure.

~

THEY VS. SINGULAR THEY

For the record, "singular they" is defined by its purpose and context, not the specific words used.

Wiktionary says:

they (third-person, nominative case, usually plural, sometimes singular, objective case them, possessive their, possessive noun theirs, reflexive themselves, or, singular, themself)

It then goes on to specify three use-cases:

third-person plural, referring to two or more people

third-person singular, referring to one person

"indefinite pronoun" - people; some people; people in general; someone, excluding the speaker. E.g. "they didn’t have computers in the old days."

So we've got "they" (groups), "singular they" (individuals), and "indefinite they" (an "other" that is ambiguous in number).

Again, I have never found anything academic or, er, dictionarical (lexicographical?) that calls any of the forms "plural they", so my first job is to find out whether what Gender Census participants are calling "plural they" is the same as what the dictionary just calls "they", which is defined as the set used to refer to two or more people. For the purposes of this article I will call it regular "they".

~

WHICH WORDS MAKE UP SINGULAR THEY?

Even though most dictionaries will state which words make up singular they, and it's usually they/them/their/theirs/themself, if you change individual words within the set or even around the set it is still called "singular they" if it is used to refer to only one person. This might happen due to regional or cultural variations. So whether you say "they is a writer" or "they are a writer", whether you say "themself" or "themselves", if you're talking about only one person, it's still singular they.

In the annual survey, singular they is consistently chosen in the checkbox pronoun options by the most participants, usually more than twice as popular as the next most popular option. (I use the dictionary-provided set, and I've checked it's still the most commonly used in several polls and surveys along the way.) In the annual survey, singular they is presented as:

singular they - they/them/their/theirs/themself (e.g. "they are a writer")

~

WHICH WORDS MAKE UP PLURAL THEY?

I had never heard of "plural they" before people started asking me to add it to the checkbox list in the feedback box of the annual Gender Census survey, but it seemed clear from the name that it is meant to be contrasted with singular they, and I wondered if perhaps everyone else had been calling regular "they" (for referring to two or more people) "plural they" this entire time and I just hadn't noticed.

It was specifically presented to me by participants as a pronoun that a plural system could claim, and that a plural system might prefer over singular they. This tallied with my initial assumption that "plural they" may just be regular "they" referring to groups, since a system is a body containing two or more distinct individuals, so if they wanted to be referred to as a group then singular they would be inappropriate and regular "they" would fit.

I went to the pronouns spreadsheet of the 2021 Gender Census, and took every pronoun set that was named and copied it into a new spreadsheet. I ran a query to list all sets that contained both the words "plural" and "they" in the name field. There were 71 results, out of ~44,500 total responses. I ran another query to find out what these people were entering in the reflexive field, and here's what I got:

themselves - 61 (85.9%)

theirselves - 3

them - 2

themself - 2

themself (plural) - 2

theirself - 1

So I think it's safe to say that the set that people are calling "plural they" uses "themselves" as the reflexive, which is consistent with dictionaries' reporting of regular "they".

I conclude that most people do mean regular "they" when they refer to "plural they". "Plural they" seems to be they/them when used to refer to two or more people, including the plural reflexive "themselves".

As in "singular they", if you change individual words within the set or even around the set it is still called regular "they" if it is used to refer to two or more people. This might happen due to regional or cultural variations. So whether you say "they is writers" or "they are writers", whether you say "themself" or "themselves", if you're talking about two or more people, it's still regular "they" (or plural they).

~

IS PLURAL THEY GETTING SMUSHED INTO ANOTHER PRONOUN/GROUP?

I recently explored the (apparently unintentional) overlap of Spivak (e/em) and Elverson (ey/em). In case you've not read it, here's a brief overview: I found that it might be that Elverson (not on the checkbox list) is many times more popular than Spivak (on the checkbox list), even though it isn't being written into the pronouns textboxes often enough for it to reach the 1% threshold. Since the two sets are identical except for that one letter in the subject form, it is very likely that many of the people who use Elverson (ey/em) pronouns are choosing the Spivak checkbox option in the annual survey because they don't realise the spelling is different, or they think that they are minor spelling variants of the same set. I concluded that in order to get a fair count of both sets I will need to list both in the checkbox options next year, even though Elverson hasn't been typed in by over 1% of participants yet.

It's possible that the same thing is happening with singular and plural they. I ran a couple of Twitter polls, asking people whose pronouns are they/them which set they prefer, and presented answers like this:

a) Singular they, referring to only 1 person: they are themSELF

b) Singular they, referring to only 1 person: they are themSELVES

c) Plural they, referring to 2+ people: they are themSELVES

Here's the results, with 927 usable responses:

The results of this poll are really useful, because it allowed people to choose between singular and plural they AND themself and themselves, in combination. We can see that of the people who call their pronouns "singular they" (referring to only one person), the majority prefer "themself" as the reflexive, but a respectable proportion prefer singular they with "themselves", even when presented with the option of "plural they" (referring to two or more people).

(I have a policy of providing the most popular word choices in checkboxes, so I will continue to provide a they/them checkbox option that says "singular they - they/them/their/theirs/themself", but since singular they is consistently the most popular pronoun this is something I like to keep checking in on.)

If we apply these proportions to the 2021 Gender Census responses and imagine that everyone whose pronouns are they/them chose "singular they - they/them/their/theirs/themself" regardless of how accurate that is, this would mean that 3.7% of all respondents would check a "plural they" box, which is well above the 1% threshold for adding something to the checkbox list. Why not add it to the list, the way I'll also be adding Elverson to the list? This graph may help:

I generally consider it unwise to make big decisions based on Twitter polls, because the sample is much smaller and more biased than a standalone survey. Twitter requires membership, Twitter membership is skewed younger, and younger members are more likely to use Twitter often and see polls when they appear.

However, even I can't deny that there is a very clear mandate here for Elverson to be added to the checkbox list. When given a straight choice between the Spivak, Elverson, both, and neither/something else, participants were over six times more likely to choose Elverson over Spivak. (For context, Spivak got 4.3% in the 2021 Gender Census as a checkbox option.) Even if this poll were somehow put to the entire Gender Census participant group, it's hard to imagine a scenario where the results shift enough that Elverson gets a lower percentage than Spivak.

4.7% of a smaller sample of younger Twitter members just isn't enough to push me to add something to the checkbox options. I really hope that everyone whose pronouns are "plural they" takes the time to type it into next year's survey as a pronoun distinct from "singular they", so that if they do end up being over 1% of participants I can add "plural they" to the checkbox options.

~

IN CONCLUSION

As far as I can tell, the Gender Census doesn't particularly exclude plural participants. Systems are still able to take part, so it is at least as inclusive as any other survey of a similar nature, maybe even more so thanks to the ability to choose multiple gender identities and pronouns "per body".

There isn't sufficient evidence to support adding "plural they" to the list of checkbox pronouns at this time, and systems can be represented in results by typing any plural-inclusive terms and pronouns that are not on checkbox lists into some of the many textboxes provided, as any other participant would be expected to do.

The "once per body" participation policy is uncomfortable for a significant number of plural people. However, due to the intensely varied experiences of plural people, any policy on that issue that I impose would make some plural people uncomfortable - and it turns out that I chose the "side" that plural people are more likely to agree with. The survey isn't intending to collect or convey the more nuanced information that plural people (and others) have said that they would like to provide.

A separate question that specifically asks participants whether they're plural makes systems feel seen and acknowledged, but is beyond the scope of the project and doesn't add value to the data or analysis.

So, I will not be making any changes to the Gender Census at this time, based on the information I've gathered so far. However, I welcome further feedback in the plural participants' feedback form, which will remain open, anonymous and private.

~

Edit: Follow-up.

#plurality #multiplicity #meta #FAQ #plural they #pronouns

[mosshead-lover]

The Act of LordE: part 2

On the contrary

Bakugou & Izuku x Reader

<< Previous

It had been a few weeks since the new year's party. [y/n] decided to put that unfortunate event behind. She was well settled in the city and was having a great time with Izuku as well. They were officially in a relationship. She even managed to intern at a hero agency. Her job was to study the hero costumes and make them fashionable. A job that was considered useless by heroes, as told by her seniors. But, She firmly believed that a hero's outfit should make a statement about the hero, radiate his/her personality.

Her boyfriend, who was one of the rising top heroes, not only comprehend her passion but also respected her talent for making even the most boring items into fascinating entities, as opposed to what her seniors had experienced.

[y/n]'s excitement about starting at the hero agency was palpable. She was thrilled to meet pro heroes in person and have a chance to re-model their outfits. She was also a little anxious about pulling their style statement down instead of elevating.

"We will start with you studying some hero costumes evolution throughout the years. Relate the modifications with the fashion trends and marketing trends set in the respective years and submit a report by the weekend."

The chief stylist of the agency had assigned work the second she met [y/n].

[y/n] was impressed and surprised at how work centered her boss was. She got into work immediately. After a week of extensive research, late-night shenanigans, rewriting the thesis thinking the previous one wasn't good enough and taking inputs from her boyfriend & his fellow hero friends, [y/n] finally submitted her report. Her boss didn't seem too impressed but didn't criticize either. She assigned [y/n] her next task: to make sketches of a hero intern's outfit and try different color panels.

"I will ask one of the hero interns to come see you." Her boss told in a neutral tone and left the room. The Fashion department was vacant most of the time since most fashion staff tended to work from their comfort zones. The boss who came in every day had a chamber of her own. So, [y/n] was pretty much by herself. She was looking forward to having company.

"This Asshole!"

[y/n] screamed inside. At the sight of the person whom she was so eagerly waiting to meet. How could she possibly forget those eyes?

Katsuki, on the other hand, cursed his fate for putting the one girl he didn't want to see ever again in front of him.

However, neither brought up the night. They worked in silence, avoiding eye contact, wishing for the day to get over soon.

[y/n] had had a long day. She walked home thinking if she should tell Izuku what happened on new year's. She decided not to. It was too late now. If she wanted to, she should have, sooner. At least when she recognized that ass from the pictures Izuku had shown her the day she had stayed over.

A few days later, Katsuki was asked to visit [y/n] again. To submit technical details of the gadgets he used and to answer any questions she had. Bakugou sucked at making things right, the easiest way to ease the tension between them was to tell her about the stupid challenge and apologize, he couldn't get himself to. It was difficult to even imagine himself doing it, given his egocentric personality. Nevertheless he had to. After a long hour of deep thinking, he decided he would.

He took heavy reluctant steps towards the fashion department.

"Ummm. Thanks for getting lunch, Izu."

[y/n] was seated on the table, with her hands around Midoriya's neck.

"I took a day off. That the least I could do, [y/n]-chan."

[y/n] kissed Izuku on the lips gently.

"We are so occupied with college, internships, and assignments these days. We barely get to spend time together. I miss you."

Izuku sounded disappointed.

[y/n] let out a sigh in agreement and hugged him.

"I miss you too, baby."

"Wish we at least worked at the same place. We could commute together." Izuku mused.

"I can put in a word for you! How can they say no to someone as talented as you?" He was holding [y/n] by her shoulders now. His eyes shined, radiating his enthusiasm.

"Our Agency is just as good, you know?" He was trying to be cocky now.

[y/n] laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Thanks for saying that, Mr. Pro-to-be. But, I got in here with lots of effort and am learning a great deal. I don't want to leave halfway. I know you wouldn't."

"Yeah." Izuku sulked.

Usually, Bakugou barged in, irrespective of the place and the situation. Except for this day. He had waited at the door for a while before going in.

"Tch. As if getting to see one shit face for the day wasn't enough."

Izuku moved away, and [y/n] quickly got off the table. A drop of sweat trailed down her cheek though she knew she wasn't at fault. Not much anyway.

"I don't know how shit works at your agency, Deku-teme, But here, we don't fool around."

Kachan eyed [y/n] in what seemed like disgust.

"Ah...Kachan, please calm down. I was just dropping off lunch. I am sorry."

(What is he sorry for?)

Deku's demeanor changed suddenly.

"I shall pick you up in the evening, [y/n]-chan. Bye for now."

Izuku didn't even bother to peck [y/n] and left hurriedly. [y/n] had heard enough stories about Izuku's childhood friend Kachan to understand his reaction. But, she was more frustrated at how this person got away with being an asshole all the time. Izuku was used to Kachan's way of talking. But [y/n] wasn't, and she didn't plan to.

"Who do you think you are!?"

[y/n] was raging with fury.

"Ah?" Bakugou tried to sound cold and clueless when he was burning on the inside. He had to face the inevitable confrontation now. He had ignited the fire.

"I don't know why Izuku tolerates your foul mouth but, that's no way to treat a friend!"

"I don't have time for this." Bakugou tries to escape the ultimate, one last time.

"You do, and you will listen to everything I have to say!"

To [y/n]'s surprise, he obeyed and sat down on the chair unwillingly.

"First, You steal his new year's kiss from him by forcing yourself on me, and then, you are extremely rude to him for no reason at all. It had literally been five minutes since he arrived! We weren't fooling around. It was my lunch break, for god's sake! And worst of all, He asks sorry, like he was guilty! If anyone should be apologizing, it's you!"

Katsuki yawned as [y/n] went on, which only aggravated her further.

While [y/n] was fuming, Katsuki slowly speaks up after confirming that she was done.

"Whoah! I didn't know you were dating at the time."

(even so, I am guilty of kissing you without consent. You dumb girl. You need to get some confrontation lessons.)

"I don't care how long he had been here. I saw what I saw, and I may be an ass but have strong work ethics."

(I couldn't stand seeing you together.)

"As for an apology, I still don't see my fault."

(I am an ass. I know. I also know it's too late to try being otherwise.)

"Oh, you will see! I will make sure Deku gets one from you!" [y/n]'s anger hadn't gone down, even a bit.

"Um! Determination I see." He raised his eyebrows, a faint smile formed on his face.

"I like it. So, I will give you a chance to earn that apology for that midget boyfriend of yours."

Bakugou got more comfortable in the wooden chair that he sat on. Almost as if he was enjoying where the conversation was headed.

[y/n] remained silent but was looking in his direction. She didn't have to say. He went on.

"Let's play a game. Umm...say Chess?" He suggested, looking at a painting of a few chess pieces that was hung by the door.

He went on.

"You win, I will apologize to Deku, and If I do, I will claim something of yours as mine for ten minutes."

"I am in." [y/n] didn't give a second thought. Only if she knew what she was getting to, she might have. If only she knew.

Next>>

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[aye-write]

So I'm thinking of self-publishing through Amazon and I'm a bit confused as to why most people don't. Is it better to write a query letter and submit it to the agents or Amazon?

Hi Nonnie! I’m not intimately familiar myself with self publishing as I’ve only ever dabbled in trad publishing, but I don’t think there’s a “better” option as it’s very much down to each person’s circumstances and personal views. I’ve compiled here a list of benefits for each kind of publishing that some friends have discussed with me, so I do think it’s a good idea to read them over (as well as the disadvantages of them both) to help you make up your mind!

Benefits of Trad Publishing 

Payment (advance) upfront

More support in the industry rather than doing everything yourself 

Working with professionals who have more experience in the industry 

Experienced editor provided 

Experienced marketing team and cover designers, who know the market distribution - getting into bookstores all over the country, that type of thing - which you also don’t have to pay for.

Opportunities provided by the publisher, such as events, booths, various and sundry

Confirms you meet a quality metric - you’re “good enough” to be in shops

Agent to lobby for you in case you and the publisher/editor/cover design/whatever disagree

Agent to negotiate contracts and deal with all the legal stuff

Agent to figure out translation deals and other rights, so you don't have to

Also they have better connections and are more likely to get those deals

Benefits of Self Publishing

Complete creative control - while the publisher has final say over the blurb, cover, etc. in trad pub, self pubbing means YOU make all those decisions

Higher royalty rates. You’ll keep nearly 100% of your profits while self-pubbing, whereas trad means the agent and publishing house get a fair cut of any royalties

No deadline stress! 

You can choose everyone who will be involved in your book’s creation - usually in trad, you’re assigned folks and don’t get a say in who works with you

Quicker publishing times - Trad pubbing can take YEARS for a book to hit the shelves from the moment it’s accepted whereas self pub can have a quick timeline from writing to publishing 

More frequent paydays

You keep all your rights, protecting you from potential things like publishing houses folding, loss of contract from poor sales, agents losing their jobs etc.

More opportunity for “niche” publishing - you’re not held hostage by the market or by your word count being longer than the market average, or even your genre. You can put up literally anything you want!

No rejections! 

So a lot of this really depends on what you want, what you are willing to do, and what will work for you in the long run. Self-pubbing means you will have to do a LOT more, and things like marketing and gaining reviews (which are important to both kinds of publishing) are even more important for self pubbers. There are also a lot of upfront costs in self pubbing - from cover art to editing to proofreading services, etc., and that can put a lot of folks off should you choose to use them.

I was given some great advice from a friend that works in publishing in that your debut makes you a valuable commodity in the publishing world, so self-pubbing anything, and then maybe deciding to move to traditional publishing may negatively hinder you as you’re no longer a debut. People get around this by using pennames etc., but I know it’s negatively impacted a friend of mine who rushed to self publish her book on Amazon then had a change of heart two years later as she didn’t believe it was representative of her best work anymore. She cannot remove that book from Goodreads or anything like that, even though she can remove it from Amazon, so she’s lost any chance of traditionally publishing under her preferred name. 

I think the important thing is to take it slow, figure out what you want, and don’t rush! There is no right answer as to what you should do. If you want to upload your book to Amazon, then do plenty of research, maybe network with some people who have gone through the process, and make sure you’re aware of all the expectations and potential pitfalls. And perhaps if you want to pursue the whole “write a query letter and send to publishers”, that’s okay too! It’s all about what suits you. 

Good luck, nonny! 

#anon #publishing #writing #Anonymous