#(( if they even experience Gender at all

[unbidden-yidden]

Hey major shout-out to my fellow trans Jews. This year has been hell and it's hard not to feel like we've been completely abandoned, betrayed, shut out, and made unsafe across the full political spectrum.

I'm so sorry; we deserved better. I hope you're okay and standing strong - we will get through this together 🕎 🏳️‍⚧️ ✡️

#the right either actively or passively wants us dead or disappeared because of our genders #and the left apparently wants us dead or disappeared for being Jews #where can we go? #who can we turn to? #who can we rely on but ourselves? #it's terrifying and excruciating #I'm so tired of begging people to see me as a person #trans advocacy is so important right now and being in trans community is so vital #and yet far too many trans activists and community leaders were cheering on the deaths of my people not three weeks ago #pan-Jewish solidarity is so important right now and being in Jewish community is so important #and yet a disturbing number of the strongest voices advocating for Jewish people's humanity and right to self-determination #are also very right-wing #and refuse to see not even the truth of our lived experiences but fail entirely to see our humanity as trans people at all #so again I ask: where are we supposed to go??

[sergle]

what I was talking abt earlier. we have fully looped back around and away from feminism, societally, whereas before it was very Feminism 101 to acknowledge that many parts of existing as a woman in a misogynistic society are painful and upsetting. not that being a woman is Inherently Negative in a bubble. but that living on this earth, in the conditions we're living in, is hostile to women. and that gender is a performance. that many of the Staples Of Femininity as accepted by society are things that you have to create and perform and mold artificially and aren't inherent, that COMPLAINING about day to day difficulties of existing as a woman is something that you're allowed to do. acknowledging these basic, again, feminism 101 things, that something tied to womanhood is more time consuming or more expensive or more dangerous Because Of The Problems. does not CREATE the problems. that when women complain about having to perform femininity, they are not, in fact, oppressing themselves. the call does not come from inside the fucking house. saying that you HAVE suffered does not fucking equate that you believe you SHOULD have suffered.

like I could talk about this for hours. how braindead and one-dimensional the Takes are getting. "being a woman is looking in the mirror and going fuck yeah i'm a woman" damn. I guess any negative experiences you have by living in a misogynistic world... are your fault if you are anything but positive? "you don't actually want liberation" we've fully gone back to telling feminists "you WANT to be oppressed" when anything negative about our society is pointed out. it's not real until I say it out loud, I guess, and then I'm actually the one who caused it. if anybody expresses any unhappiness with how they're treated or the status quo or the language and culture surrounding womanhood and femininity. they've created it, right that second. they invented it just now. it wasn't a problem before somebody complained, right? also trans women aren't braindead zombies who just follow the flow of whatever cis women around them say. I am pretty fucking sure they are very much aware of pain, and are MORE than aware of the swirling torrent of misogyny and standards of femininity than anybody else. actually. and I am pretty sure someone complaining on tumblr that being a woman means always putting on a performance is going to make someone change their mind about transitioning. also "performing femininity" as a necessity to being treated well as a woman is not fucking NEWS to your Local Trans Woman. I AM PRETTY SURE SHE GETS THE CONCEPT. using trans women as a scapegoat for this braindead perspective on gender politics is spineless, meritless, and pathetic.

#how I feel about my gender is not the same as how I feel about the living conditions of my gender #when I saw that post I screenshotted here I literally sat w my mouth open for a minute #sent it to my friends and was like am I fucking crazy. is this what we're doing now #Forced Positivity and that there is no war in ba sing se and actually #you're ruining children's lives if you complain about misogyny on twitter #I don't HAVE to tell little girls about the downsides because they are already being mistreated #before they have even heard the word 'misogyny' let alone know what it means #you do not have to be fucking happy all the time about the cards you're dealt. #you don't live in a bubble where it's just you and your mirror and your pretty dress and nothing bad has ever happened to you #unfortunately bitch. we will have negative experiences that are in fact. part of the package of being a woman #and IGNORING them doesn't make them not exist. actually they will continue to remain status quo unless acknowledged #sergle.txt #I see so much rhetoric that is JUST old-fashioned gender ideals being presented with liberal language on tiktok #that is just telling women that womanhood is just being a girllll and loving pretty things and being kind and gentleeeee and nurturing #and not working and just like being wholesome and being happy and being a light in ppl's lives and just LOVING LOVING LOVING being a woman #so if for even one second. you don't love it. you are actually failing at being a woman #if you complain about the standards for shaving or putting on makeup. which used to be Baby's First Feminism online #that's actually just you creating problems. you're not supposed to acknowledge it. you're supposed to shut up and smile into the mirror.

[san-sews-seams]

While I understand the goal with gender-inclusive/'gender expansive'/unisex adult clothing patterns, I kinda hate them. Like. That's just now how human bodies are. One-size-fits all just doesn't!

A garment that is designed to fit well on a body without breasts will, by definition, fit like shit on me, no matter how boxy/oversized the style lines are! A garment designed to fit someone with by body (or the closest common approximation of my body, with like 3" less breast full bust circumference) will, by its very nature, fit very badly on someone flat-chested. See also, shit like shoulder width, and waist/hip raios, and I'm sure various other aspects.

Like, I get that there's a lot of baggage surrounding body shape and social expectations of gender! But you can't get around that baggage by pretending that various physical differences just don't exist!

If I want to dress more masc, the shape of my body does not change. The fit adjustments that I need to make don't change. I would in fact need to make additional tweaks and adjustments to get a traditionally masculine silhouette. And while it would be interesting and valuable to have guidelines on how to do that, unisex pattern designs move the whole process back in the opposite direction.

#San sews #Possibly my reaction is informed by a fat person's experience of one-size-fits-all #Which so rarely includes me #But it's deeply frustrating to see something marketed as inclusive while *knowing* that it's been made that much *less* accessible to me! #Universality is just not practical or even feasible in garment and pattern design #The variability of bodies precludes it #And that does not mean that patterns are inherently gender-exclusive! But if you want to truly acheive unhindered garments #You can't really start with a one-size-fits-all outlook #You have to offer more built-in variability or at least guides on how to acheive that variability through fitting #It's just... well-meant but ultimately shallow and sloppy

[genderkoolaid]

i think "nonbinary" can be useful but a lot of times the way it is being used isn't helpful to actually discussing nonbinary people, especially since it is a HUGE umbrella term with very few boundaries. like there are nonbinary men & women, so positioning "nonbinary" as something intrinsically separate from man/woman isn't accurate. or there are times where it would be more useful to name the specific group (like multigender people, androgynes, abinary/aphorians) rather than a much vaguer term

in general the problem is that our language to describe nonbinary existence is basically some scraps held together with duct tape. there's sooo many ways in which nonbinary people are erased or binaried through language. not just through the lack of gender neutral options but the la of blatantly genderqueer ones.

i kinda feel like as of right now, nonbinary-ness is pretty slapdash & all over the place and it would be helpful to have a large-scale discussion on what terminology would be best for discussing things like exorsexism and it's various aspects, and how to talk about nonbinary people without homogenizing us, while ALSO acknowledging the need for umbrella terms that can cover a range of individual identities, even if people don't personally identify with the umbrella term itself. & on that note we should also probably discuss the issue of. like. perfectionism wrt nonbinary language & the way that potentially useful terms get lost bc of it. I don't think nonbinary people can really achieve meaningful equality and inclusion on the same level until we are able to have equally diverse and useful ways of describing ourselves, and a stronger understanding of how we relate to each other as a community.

#I've been chewing on this general topic for a while #bc I'm realizing that I don't like identifying as nonbinary specifically bc of how ppl often use that #to just mean ''gender neutral'' & often exclude androgyne multigenders by assuming nb can't be men/women #even trans theory so often just groups nonbinary people in with whoever feels the most relevant and is uninterested in exploring exorsexism #outsidr of it's connection to other issues #there's an assumption that nonbinary experiences can be more or less grouped in w binary ones without missing out on much #it's just frustrating. same w when people assume that all transitions end w people looking cis-passing #and ignore the difficulties that can come from things like non traditional bottom surgery! #there's next to no resources for salmacians and virtually none for agenital prople #which y'know. might be important for things like urinary/genital care #or sex work or anything #hell so many people have argued that exorsexism doesn't exist because all nonbinary oppression is ''just transphobia'' #so many ppl are completely uninterested in looking at nonbinary people separate from binary ppl & binary experiences #m.

[macbethz]

hm im a little nervous to post this honestly very milquetoast dr who genderweird art *remembers my transgender dr who mutuals* ok calm now

#love you all ilysm will post transgenner dw tomorrow #warlock wartalks #idk why im scared to do even the smallest weird gender art for popular franchises even tho its tumblr dot com. i think bc im scared of bein #reposted to kiwifarms again or my bad experiences w ppl being transphobic on tiktok

[uncanny-tranny]

I wonder if the discontentment some people have with their gender stems from the contradictions in expectation for their gender.

I mentioned this in passing, but as a man, I've found there's this simultaneous expectation to be hyperindependent and hyperindividualistic while also being concerned about if the people around you accept your masculinity or manhood. It's an interesting paradox to both be expected not to care but also to care so deeply that it alters how you see yourself. It's the contradiction of hyperveneration and hyperscrutiny and, even, hatred of manhood.

This isn't even touching on the intricacies of nonbinary and intersex experiences with the way people enforce these (cissexist) contradictions of what you "should" be.

#gender #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #i find it funny to see people critique these ridgid and contradictory ideas of gender with the idea that it proves trans people dont exist #if anything the hyperscrutinization of all gender to the point that trans people 'dont exist' is a symptom of exactly what i mean #at the core it isn't about a set of ideas but more like a set of rules that will be enforced through any means necessary #and in that way trans people often face the brunt of that force #i know i've faced that sort of attitude by general society even *pretransition and pre coming out* #and obviously not all trans people share in that experience but it also is not an uncommon situation to have had #shoutout to my phone for softlocking itself and deleting this original post #see like i'm also not binary (also not nonbinary) but i functionally live as a binary man irl which is why i speak as a man versus as a man+

[enconfess]

It really weirds me out when people hc Shu as trans, especially transfem, because if that were true he’d be a completely different character.

If he was transmasc, that implies that he’s AFAB. This in turn means that the whole point of his childhood, that being that he was shunned and bullied by his peers and even family members for being a boy and liking “girl” things, wouldn’t even exist because he would’ve been confirming to gender norms the whole time.

If he was transfem, it would make that whole point of his personal journey/story about defying gender norms completely moot. You’d just end up shoving him right back into the box that the whole purpose of his character is set to break, and that’s not a good thing from a storytelling perspective.

I’ve seen a fair handful of people celebrating that he’s “officially implied transfem” after Raison D’etre, and that simply isn’t true. His grandfather is the one being implied to be trans. The way Shu interprets the story of his grandfather is one of two men, and in the play him and Mika put on that’s how it’s portrayed. This is because Shu was looking to relate to the story, contrary to Mika who was looking for the “truth”.

Shu has never been trans, nor has that ever been implied to be the case, he’s always just been gender-non-conforming. I see it as somewhat inherently invalidating to his canon identity to try and push the idea that he’s transfem just because he likes dolls and dresses (especially since most of the people in this fandom seem that have pretty progressive mindsets, so you’d think that a canonically GNC cis character would be well received), regardless of the fact that unlike someone like Arashi he has never expressed a want to actually become a woman.

The same concept would apply to Hajime as well, and I think in his case in particular it’s worth noting that he actively has said he dislikes being seen as a girl, and yet people will still have those transfem headcanons. This is not me trying to say I’m against that type of hc in general, it just frustrates me when it’s used on a character where it actively goes against who they are.

.

#ec.sub #enstars #ensemble stars #shu itsuki #imo the best argument for the transfem shu hc is that a lot of society still views all amab people as “men” regardless of their gender #and that a common trans experience is liking things of the opposite gender (i.e. trans women liking “girl” hobbies/interests as a kid) #and that even if shu were transfem there'd still be bullying for a “boy” liking “girl” things #BUT. i can understand both interpretations of shu's chara #EITHER WAY. i'm glad we all agree that no matter what shu's gender is #they're definitely not straight.

[dove-tears]

made this to spite the isaac subreddit specifically

#the binding of isaac #don't get me wrong i get where people come from when they say isaac is only 5 #this is a joke and more towards the asshats that are completely revolted at the idea that isaac could possibly be more than male presenting #but hell. its entirely possible to question your gender even when youre at an age where you dont even know wtf gender even means!! #kids experiment outside of the expected societal norms all the time because they are still developing and dont know!! #even if his gender questioning is a result of his traumatic upbringing that shouldnt stop him from wanting to present how he wants to- #-if it makes him happy!!! #he should be able to express himself in a positive outlet if thats the case #tboi #tboi isaac #isaac moriah #shitpost

[nerves-nebula]

*voice of exhaustion* you guys are like, so moronically white

#nnstuff #rambling #this is about the murderbot fandom. dont talk to me about it but y'all annoying as hell sometimes #but im black what did i expect #had one critical thought about murderbot casting #and then decided that its actually groundbreaking that its being played by a white man because... why exactly? #thats literally seen as the default. there's nothing challenging about a white man playing a characater who has no gender #white men have played all kinds of characters including women and minorities #specifically because being a white man is seen as the default experience. so of course a white man can play a genderless robot #its not groundbreaking. no one is gonna be shook by a white man playing a robot saying that it has no gender #you guys are sooooo easily swayed its embarrassing #you know what would've been really cool and played into the themes of un-personhood within capitalism? #a trans black person. or even just A Black Person #a black man would've been doubly good imo because black men are seen as hyper masculine and aggressive #so it having no gender would push against that #and a black women could make the audience think about what traits they see as gendered #and both would make u think about how race plays into being owned under capitalism #and why it would unexpected to see that kind of face on a badass security construct #that would've been something at least

[orcelito]

Like OK so I've been reading a fic with trans wolfwood in it that is so. HONEST. About how it affected him and still affects him. In a way that's very much not an average cis writer portrayal of a trans character.

Like. Either this writer is trans or did plenty of research, but it just feels REAL to me. And it has me thinking about my own way of writing trans Wolfwood.

I'm not there yet. But I've been thinking about it. The ways that what the EOM did fucked him up... but it also acted as HRT that affirmed his gender. So what do you do when you're in a body you don't recognize, but looks much more like a man than ever before? There's some gender euphoria in a way, but dysphoria at the same time bc you didn't grow into this. You didn't watch yourself transition. Suddenly you just Were this, and it's not you, but also it's nice to finally be seen as a man, but it also feels wrong to feel grateful for any part of what they did to you...

On and on and on

You see? This is what I want to think about with him. This is why trans Wolfwood is so compelling to me. It's just so Complicated, he'd have such Complicated feelings about his body and the way he lives with it. He learns this new body, it starts to feel more like his, but he also mourns the fact that he didn't get to watch it grow into this like he should've.

That kind of thing.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #tagging it bc these r things relevant to itnl ww. because. he is trans☺️ #TRANS WOLFWOOD MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!! #i wanna do more research into trans things. ive already done a lot. but like #into the actual physical side of it all. the effects of HRT. all those messy little details that people dont often focus on. #some months ago i skimmed thru this writing guide on how to write trans men. and i think i wanna revisit it #read it more slowly and thoroughly. #bc im confident in my ability to write trans characters. considering the fact that im not cis myself. #but im not a trans man. so there r some Things that i just dont know about by virtue of not having experience with HRT #so. research! supplementing my existing knowledge with the perspectives of the actual people im writing about. #and so it goes when ur writing about an experience that is not entirely your own. #it matters to me to make my writing of trans men as realistic as possible. #even with the messy details that people normally shy away from. Especially them. #i pride myself on my realism as much as is within my means of capturing it. #realistic emotions. realistic reactions. realistic bodies. #i am Going to write a trans wolfwood that is So realistic. as much as possible. #(i keep specifying ww with this even tho vash is trans also just bc vash is a bit more uhhhh not human lol #so the definition of what makes him trans is a bit more loose. still inferred by real life experiences #but he wouldnt have the same sorts of experiences with HRT. or gender expression in general #so i feel less of a pressure to capture it as fully accurate to the real life human experience as possible. if that makes sense.)

[starrysharks]

i wonder if white people specifically white progressives realise that black people are only ever seen as their skin color first and foremost

#this goes for all poc but im talking about black people here #black people are constantly connected to their skin color and tone in good ways and in not good ways #people will always see you as your race first because white is considered the default #like if someone wanted to insult me the first thing they would go for is my race or gender presentation #whenever an actor is cast for a role people see the fact that they are black before anything else - talent. style. etc is ignored #black people are othered in society to put it bluntly . that is why white people get so upset when black people are cast as any role #or when they uuuuuh you know exist #and if the other becomes the majority - say a movie with mostly black people or a black-exclusive setting #then white people will get uncomfortable and complain #maybe the way i explained it is weird idk im not good at explaining #what im trying to say is that blackness is not something you can hide unless you are able to pass as white/are biracial etc. #and so the many stereotypes about black people are what people see first #what i'm trying to get at is that the way people percive black people completely changes our experiences esp if we're queer or women #a white and visibly queer person will have a different experience than a black and visibly queer person #and white progressives often forget that #sorry if this was explained weird im not a good explainer and also some bad shit happened today so my head is not really in the game #do people even say that god #whatever man

[sexygaywizard]

So uh... Those "describe your gender" posts from a little while back started to make me think and I realized I'm not actually as Cis as I thought I was... In fact I'm Genderfluid and I'm going to be getting a binder. Thanks for starting me on that path <3

Yessssss I love hearing this!!!! This is the trans agenda. We are out here transing genders. So happy for you king!!!

#literally i did those bc i wanted people to talk about their varied experiences with gender #and for other people to see how different and unique everyone can feel about their gender! #i dont think any 2 people really experience gender in exactly the same way. even cis people #i should try and go back and answer the rest of those bc i have so many new and diff followers now #and theyre good for people to see i think #i answer #tell me about your gender #<- click these to see all the old asks if you're interested!

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

#before i maybe get yelled at: #1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even #though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism #2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them #3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have #encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in #nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally #about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person. #4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces #and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too. #5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided #tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla #6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things. #7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl #i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know? #8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this #nyarla dni #<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks

[problemnyatic]

so does putting "men dni" in your shit actually reduce the number of shitheads you get or does it just filter out the dudes who actually care about boundaries in the first place

#also what are the fucking polygender people supposed to do #do you just not want to have to deal with complicated genders?? or does my being a woman sufficiently ''invalidate'' my masculinity enough #because if that's how it is go fuck yourself all the way to hell #do you think men are just born nasty? or universally raised to be no exceptions? what do you think about trans men #look. you're allowed to curate your online experience however you want. I can't stop you #but the ways in which you do so say a lot about how you think about others #i understand that a lot of men get real fuckin nasty in asks and dms and whatever. I'm compassionate to that. #but do those kinds of men even give a shit about dnis??? #have you never been sexually harassed by a woman? i sure fucking have #I just don't fucking get it #i'm extremely nonbinary and deeply frustrated #thanks for letting me know i'm either inherently nasty to you or that pieces of me ''don't count'' for you to hate me. how fucking kind. #problemnyatic discourse #problemnyatic thoughts

[goldenstarprincesses]

ok ok I like and prefer older brother America

But i love and am obsessed with older sister America

#It makes me have so many feelings #like a relatively young??America being left alone to protect and fend for her feral little French brother all while facing the world as a #young looking immortal female nation?? whos' people have already chased her down and killed her at least once #how she had to grow up so much faster then even Alfred did #how all she wanted to do as a young colony/girl was protect her little brother from feeling anymore sadness and from seeing the pain she #is experiencing due to being a young woman/girl #parentification being a direct result of Arthurs sexism and the gender norms of the time #she grows to resent her role as her brothers caregiver but LOVES him so much since he really is her only family #it breaks her heart to finally put herself and her people first #she hides so much of her experience from him just so she can protect him but like it ends up causing problems cus he is big time confused #uggg many thoughts #nyo america #hws canada

[drumlincountry]

Every ✌️🏳️‍🌈💖queer vocab as gaeilge 💖🏳️‍🌈✌️ infographic I see has like aerach, maybe ait, and then the same list of terms that were directly translated from English by USI in like 2016. Cowards. Tell me the slurs.

#There's a serious conversation to be had about how terms for queer experiences can't be clearly translated across cultural and linguistic #Boundaries. B/c like. How does each culture define gender transgression? #What's a deviant sexuality? It depends on what the culture defines as normal #And EXTREMELY IMPORTANTLY FOR PPL WRITING THESE VOCAB LISTS #just importing English terms makes it seem like queerness is foreign and like. That Ireland didn't have queers #Until the Brits told us what bisexual and transgender were #So while I understand ppls discomfort with inclusing slurs. Well. They're proof that we've always been here. #I'm infinitely interested in the fact that dyke I.e. pejorative term for lesbian is the same as the verb to complain #That at least one person I know got called 'pale/white boy' growing up. Like that was how kids would call each other gay insultingly #And that 'queer ' is best embodied by words meaning strange and crooked #I want to know what queer Irish speakers called themselves!! I want to know how they were understood by their communities #Even when it was negative ! #I wanna know all the slurs and idioms and double entendres. Idc about leispiach #Unless! That was a term that was used! In that case i want to know the hows and wheres very badly pls!!! #queer tag #irish language #An ghaeilge #gaeilge #Irish shit #Gotta say trasinscneach is adorable tho :-) tras!